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Accompanying the Families of Missing Persons

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Accompanying the Families of Missing Persons ACCOMPANYING THE FAMILIES OF MISSING PERSONSS A PRACTICAL HANDBOOK International Committee of the Red Cross 19, avenue de la Paix 1202 Geneva, Switzerland T +41 22 734 60 01 F +41 22 733 20 57 E-mail: [email protected] www.icrc.org © ICRC, March 2013 ACCOMPANYING THE FAMILIES OF MISSING PERSONS A PRACTICAL HANDBOOK 2 ACCOMPANYING THE FAMILIES OF MISSING PERSONS TABLE OF CONTENTS FOREWORD 7 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 9 INTRODUCTION 11 Objectives 12 Target audience 12 Cultural issues 12 Using the handbook 12 1. GENERAL INFORMATION 15 Introduction 16 The Missing 16 People affected by the disappearance 17 1. The families of the Missing 17 2. The community of belonging 17 Rights and responsibilities 18 1. Fundamental rights 19 2. Fundamental rights of persons arrested or in detention 19 3. The rights of the Missing 19 4. The rights of the relatives of the Missing 20 5. Responsibilities of the authorities 21 Searching for missing persons 22 1. Registering and submitting a request for tracing a missing person 22 2. Tracing missing persons 22 Searching for, recovering and identifying the dead 23 Transitional justice and the Missing 24 1. Seeking the truth 24 2. Reparations 25 3. Criminal repression 25 INFORMATION SHEET 1.1 Model Certificate of Absence 26 INFORMATION SHEET 1.2 Model Certificate of Death 27 2. RELATIVES OF MISSING PERSONS 29 Introduction 30 Legal and administrative difficulties related to the disappearance of a family member 31 1. Absence of legal status for missing persons 31 2. Lack of information and insufficient understanding of existing laws and procedures 32 3. Deficiencies in the application of the law 32 4. Difficulties related to following required procedures 33 5. Fear and threats 33 6. Domestic law and traditional practice 34 Difficulties related to the search for a missing relative 35 1. The need for credible information on the fate of missing persons 35 2. Absence of information from the authorities on the fate of the Missing 36 TABLE OF CONTENTS 3 3. The importance of recovering and identifying the remains of the Missing 36 4. The need for information about existing legal mechanisms or processes for clarifying the fate of the Missing 37 5. Rumours, go-betweens and fortune tellers 37 6. The cost of the search: money, bribes, sale of assets 37 7. Threats and reprisals 38 Financial difficulties related to the disappearance of relatives 38 1. Lack of income owing to loss of breadwinner 38 2. Difficulty of access to support from the authorities and to humanitarian assistance 39 3. Scarcity of social benefits 39 4. The financial burden of the search 39 Psychological and psychosocial consequences of a relative’s disappearance 40 Psychological reactions 40 1. Distressing uncertainty 42 2. Guilt, self-accusation and anger 46 3. Emotional disengagement and loss of interest in other areas 47 4. Other complications 48 The psychosocial impact 50 1. Problems within the family 51 2. Problems in the families’ relations with the community 54 3. The struggle against forgetting 56 Accepting the loss of a family member without proof of death 57 1. Acceptance of the loss 57 2. The challenges of the grieving process 57 INFORMATION SHEET 2.1 Psychological and psychosocial impact of disappearance 60 INFORMATION SHEET 2.2 The grieving process 61 INFORMATION SHEET 2.3 The importance of rituals for the families of the Missing 62 INFORMATION SHEET 2.4 Why funerals are important 63 INFORMATION SHEET 2.5 Psychological framework-Ambiguous loss (Boss, 2006) 64 3. ACCOMPANYING FAMILIES 65 Accompaniment 66 1. What is accompaniment? 66 2. Why is accompaniment adapted to the needs of families? 66 3. Who may accompany the families of missing persons? 67 3.1 Family associations and people who are in, or who have past experience of, the same situation 67 3.2 Constraints related to the support provided by people in the same situation as those whom they have to help 68 3.3 National Societies 68 3.4 Other community resources 69 Designing an accompaniment project 69 1. Assess the families’ situation 69 2. Analyse the information and identify priorities 72 3. Draw up the accompaniment project 72 4. Monitor the activities and evaluate their effectiveness 73 Main activities 75 1. Providing supportive listening 75 2. Providing information to the families 77 3. Helping families in the search process 78 4 ACCOMPANYING THE FAMILIES OF MISSING PERSONS 4. Helping families to tackle legal and administrative issues 78 5. Organizing support groups 78 6. Helping family members to reinvest in other areas (social and emotional) 80 7. Promoting communication within the family 82 8. Mobilizing the community 82 9. Raising awareness and promoting public recognition 84 10. Providing referrals to existing services and/or specialists 85 INFORMATION SHEET 3.1 The accompanier’s role 87 INFORMATION SHEET 3.2 The accompanier: Minimum qualifications 87 INFORMATION SHEET 3.3 Basic communication skills 88 INFORMATION SHEET 3.4 Restoring family links and the International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement 89 INFORMATION SHEET 3.5 Designing a project 90 INFORMATION SHEET 3.6 Basic rules of information management 91 INFORMATION SHEET 3.7 Increasing families’ ability to cope 92 ACTION SHEET 301 Preparing the needs assessment 93 ACTION SHEET 302 Assessing the families’ situation 94 ACTION SHEET 303 Organize a focus group session 96 ACTION SHEET 304 Draw up a plan of action 98 ACTION SHEET 305 Write a project proposal 101 ACTION SHEET 306 Talking with family members 101 ACTION SHEET 307 Organizing information sessions 103 ACTION SHEET 308 Helping in the search process 104 ACTION SHEET 309 Help families to tackle legal/administrative issues 105 ACTION SHEET 310 Organizing support groups 106 ACTION SHEET 311 Themes for group discussions 110 ACTION SHEET 312 Warm-up exercises 111 ACTION SHEET 313 Activities for support groups 111 ACTION SHEET 314 Recreational activities 113 ACTION SHEET 315 Organizing creative activities 113 ACTION SHEET 316 Creative activities: Drawing 114 ACTION SHEET 317 Creative activities: Writing/Narration 117 ACTION SHEET 318 Helping families to organize symbolic/traditional/religious celebrations or rituals 118 ACTION SHEET 319 Mobilizing a support network 119 ACTION SHEET 320 Raising public awareness 120 ACTION SHEET 321 Referral to a mental-health specialist 121 TABLE OF CONTENTS 5 4. ACCOMPANYING FAMILIES DURING THE RECOVERY AND IDENTIFICATION OF HUMAN REMAINS 123 Introduction 124 Main phases of the process of recovering and identifying human remains 124 Helping families – From beginning to end 125 1. Background research 126 1.1 Preliminary investigations 126 1.2 Ante-mortem data and biological samples 127 1.3 Other sources of information 128 2. The recovery of remains 128 3. The identification of the bodies/mortal remains 130 Following the forensic identification 131 1. The notification of death 131 2. Viewing of remains 132 3. The handover 133 INFORMATION SHEET 4.1 DNA 135 INFORMATION SHEET 4.2 The book of belongings 135 INFORMATION SHEET 4.3 Ante-mortem and post-mortem matching 136 INFORMATION SHEET 4.4 Feelings and reactions related to the interview and to sample collection 138 ACTION SHEET 401 The accompanier’s role 140 ACTION SHEET 402 Accompanying families – From beginning to end 142 ACTION SHEET 403 Proper responses to emotional reactions 146 ACTION SHEET 404 Breaking the news 146 ACTION SHEET 405 Assisting an individual in emotional shock 147 5. DEALING WITH WORK-RELATED STRESS 149 What is stress? 150 Causes of stress 150 Recognizing signs of stress 150 Dealing with stress 151 ACTION SHEET 501 Exercises for increasing self-awareness and reducing stress 152 ACTION SHEET 502 Intervision 154 REFERENCES 155 FOREWORD 8 ACCOMPANYING THE FAMILIES OF MISSING PERSONS The families of missing persons live in constant anguish and despair, often waiting years for news about their loved ones. No matter how much time has passed, they find it difficult to accept, until reliable proof is provided, that their relative may no longer be alive. The uncertainty in which they have to live is the source of much suffering: it leads to emotional exhaustion and leaves lasting wounds. Not knowing what happened to a parent, spouse or child and not being able to give them a dignified burial, or to mourn their passing at a gravesite, places an intolerable burden on these families. In accordance with the Geneva Conventions and their Additional Protocols, the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) has a permanent mandate to assist and protect victims of conflict and other situations of violence. International humanitarian law stipulates that the right of the families to know the fate of their missing loved ones must be respected and upheld. The prime responsibility for preventing disappearances and ascertaining the fate of missing persons lies with States. They must do everything in their power to provide information on all missing persons to their families. Since 1991, the ICRC has played an active role in supporting the families of missing persons and advocating respect for their right to know the fate of their missing relatives. During the conflicts in Croatia, Bosnia- Herzegovina and Kosovo, families filed over 34,000 tracing requests with the ICRC, hoping to learn what became of their loved ones and to recover their remains. In 2000, in an effort to help the families of the Missing deal with their anguish and the resulting psychological and social consequences, the ICRC launched a support programme in Bosnia-Herzegovina involving exten- sive consultation and cooperation with psychologists, family associations and individual families. Further projects providing holistic and wide-ranging assistance to the families of the Missing soon developed in Serbia and Kosovo. Since 2008, the ICRC has developed similar projects in Georgia, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Nepal, East Timor and elsewhere.
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