Girl Loses Her Virginity at Bronycon 2016 & Other Stories
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Girl loses her virginity at BronyCon 2016 & other stories This year I attended BronyCon for the first time in order to interview people about their love for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Some of the people I spoke to really love MLP, while others managed to find love between the sheets of a cheap Baltimore hotel. All is fair in love and bronydom and below I have compiled a few interesting stories from people I spoke to during my three days at BronyCon (July 8 – 10). The Girl Who Lost Her Virginity at BronyCon 2016 One girl I spoke to at BronyCon - 19 years of age wearing a wonky tiara and pink wig as an aspiring Pinkie Pie – told me on the Sunday that on Saturday night she slept with a man for the first time. The man, described as being 'older than [her] but not too old for it to be weird', met her on the Friday and complimented her on her costume. They encountered one another again on the Saturday and spent most of the day hanging around with each other. “We both went to BronyCon with friends so it's weird in a way that we spent most of the time together,” she said. “He was a good looking guy and stood out because he had sunglasses on his head, even indoors.” After spending Saturday together the two went off-site for the evening, managing to find a store and purchase some alcohol and hot pockets which they took back to the room in the Baltimore hotel the fellow was staying at. After speaking for a good thirty minutes, the girl admitted that she was a virgin. “He wasn't,” she explained gingerly. “Not by a long shot. But he was gentle and kind and said he was single. Being single myself and at the happiest place on Earth, I decided this was as good a time as any to lose it.” One steamy escapade later and the girl had broken into new, unexplored sexual territory. On Sunday she seemed happy to discuss her experience and how BronyCon had helped her find love. She walked away with a slight limp, so I'm assuming she received a lot of it! The Dildo Salesman Who Made a Quick Buck “Hey, buddy, over here,” a raspy voice called out to me, beckoning me towards his stall on the Sunday. I'd spent a lot of time over the weekend checking out colourful pony art prints and plush toys for sale, but, peeking over his desk, I was surprised to see a very different sort of product. A proprietor of sex toys, the pervy purveyor had seven brightly coloured horse- shaped dildos for sale. “Why is that one orange and that one white?” I questioned. “That's Applejack and Rarity,” he replied. I knew where this was going, but I have to admit I was quite surprised by the brown-coloured hunk of rubber flopped out on the floor like some sort of discarded leg of lamb. I questioned who that toy represented, casting my mind back to characters from the show who could sync up with the schlong. “It's Saffron Masala,” he said eagerly, explaining that the character was from a recent episode. “You could also probably imagine it's, ahem, Coriander Cumin, if you like.” That was quite enough for me – I bid the salesman adieu, but not before, at least, crediting him for his liberally-minded collection of ethnically diverse dongs. I scanned his stall again before leaving the convention and noticed he had managed to sell most of his stock, suggesting that he had indeed made a quick buck. The Man Who Lost His Young Daughter But Found Her Again So His Irresponsible Behaviour Is Totally OK and Not At All Inappropriate One brony I spoke to on the Saturday morning was in a bit of a panic because he had lost his daughter while distracted. He was understandably quite concerned and I made it my mission to help him find her again amongst the crowds of sugary-sweet pony fans. But then his fake Twilight Sparkle ears began to twitch as he heard a toy-box dubstep beat grinding in the distance. “Well, I'm sure she'll be OK,” he said under his breath. “Are you sure?” I asked doubtfully. He explained that this was one of his favourite songs from the MLP music community and that he had to listen to it in a live setting while he had the chance. Bemused, I followed him into the faux-nightclub as he assumed the dance-floor. He later found his daughter again, I think, although I'm not sure – the only thing I'm clear about was the fluorescent 'Father of the Year' badge pinned on his shirt on the dance-floor as he raised his arms in the air and neighed like a horse. .