GH WE EVERYDAY HEROES

WE HERO Property Brothers’ Drew Scott HE DID IT! Went to Kenya to work and draw attention to the problem: “The need for access to clean water is dire. Walk 45 minutes, carry 30 pounds of water…now do that five times a day.”

You can help! hearstfor humanity.com/ghgive getting into THE SPIRIT AN EASY WAY TO BE Wow! I recently earned serious cool cred when I told my son, Grey, A FORCE FOR GOOD! I was going to meet R.J. Palacio…only the author of his favorite In a recent national survey, book, (now a movie with — who I also got most GH readers say they to meet!). If you don’t know the story, it’s about a special fifth care about giving back, but over 25% say they just LET’S CONNECT! grader with complicated health issues who fearfully starts school Get a peek behind for the first time. His often treacherous journey will make you don’t know where to start. the GH scenes laugh, cry, cheer and ultimately want to be a kinder person. Let us help! We launched (plus, supercute the GH Humanitarian Seal kitten pics!). I devoured the book on the cross-country flight to interview to evaluate charities and R.J., Julia and director Stephen Chbosky — and got so emotional let you know exactly which INSTAGRAM that I ran out of tissues. I loved Wonder as much as my little guy ones allow your dollars @janeseymour did, but for different reasons. For me, it was the beautifully written francisco to do the most good. characters that elicited such empathy and made me feel every WE Charity is our first TWITTER ounce of their heartache and happiness; for him, it was relating honoree. Throughout our @janefrancisco to and learning from the challenges of his fictional peers. Either pages, look for these spe- way, one thing’s for sure: Wonder is thought-provoking and cial banners to get inspired PINTEREST joyful. And it’s why Julia Roberts was so moved to bring the story by ordinary champions of @jane_francisco to the big screen — plus one of the inspirations for dedicating the kindness — kids, schools entire GH holiday issue to the spirit of giving. Grey’s teacher even and celebrities (even put together a list of questions from his class for R.J., who has Prince Harry!) who are answered them for us at goodhousekeeping.com/wonder. If you helping WE make the want the inside scoop from the movie team themselves, skip right world a nicer place. You to page 76. Happy holidays to you — I hope yours are wonderful! can have an impact right #kindcycle now! Go to hearstfor humanity.com/ghgive to give a small donation to WE Charity’s education Jane Francisco, projects. As little as EDITOR IN CHIEF 10 bucks will make a big GH GIVING SPECIAL When guest editor Natalie Portman difference in the life of and I talked about this issue (see her letter, page 10), I asked a child. Our special guest her what she thought we could all do to make the world editor, WE Ambassador a kinder place. Her immediate response was to put down our Natalie Portman, shares

phones and look each other in the eyes. Touché! Powering down…. her own experiences… Trachtenberg. Jane and Julia: Robert > TURN THE PAGE! 8 GH DECEMBER 2017 STARSTRUCK R.J., far left, was “so nervous” the THE POWER OF first time she met Julia: “I’m an über fan!” The surprise? “Julia was nervous too!” says the film’s director, Stephen Chbosky, left.

Photographed by WONDERROBERT TRACHTENBERG

How do you treat people who are different from you? That’s the question at the heart of the book Wonder, now a film starring Julia Roberts as the mother of a boy with a face that shocks everyone who sees him. Here, Julia, author R.J. Palacio and director Stephen Chbosky share how this little book changed their lives

At first glance, this could be any group of friends chatting over coffee — except that one is a mega- beautiful Oscar-winning actor; another is an acclaimed film director, screenwriter and author (The Perks of Being a Wallflower); and the third wrote Wonder, a middle-grade novel that adults love too and that has been on best-seller lists for over two years. It’s the story of Auggie Pullman, a 10-year-old boy who was born with severe facial differences. Having been tutored until now by his mother (played by Julia), Auggie is entering school in the fifth grade — a change that’s stressful for any child, but especially so for one who has spent his life watching others look away. The story is told through the alternating perspectives of Auggie, his sister and other kids, a technique that gives the reader true insight into how our actions and words really affect others. It’s also built around a teacher’s precepts, sayings related to kindness that echo the challenges everyone in the story grapples with — and that speak to things we can all do to help create a kinder world. With Auggie’s story now hitting the big screen, Julia, R.J. and Stephen highlight the most meaningful lessons they’ve taken to heart in their own families.

DECEMBER 2017 GH 77 REAL LIFE the power of wonder REAL LIFE the power of wonder

Let your heart Always be kinder be your compass. than necessary. Julia initially found out about Wonder by reading While the three are together, Stephen, who a list of the best books for kids. “It was getting directed Wonder and cowrote its screenplay, asks tricky in my house to have a nighttime chapter Julia how we can all work to be better humans in book everyone would like,” she says. “So I bought general. “I think we need to stop criticizing,” she Wonder, and I could not put it down. I read it to says. “Honestly, it’s become a sport — at lunch, the three kids [Hazel and Phinneaus, now 13, and online, wherever. ‘I can’t believe the way she’s Henry, now 10], and they were all as knocked out wearing her hair,’ or ‘He looks so…’ It’s all so petty, as I had been. I remember calling my agent after and we’re grown-up people. There have to be more I read the book and saying, ‘I’ll play the mom!’ ” interesting things to note about one another…and SMILES & STRESS Fun Julia family fact: “I’m the designated I’m talking to myself here too, because I find the Auggie (Jacob TWEEN TRIUMPH reader,” she says, and she puts on different voices sarcasm and the criticism and stuff like that very Tremblay) gets Wonder originally came out in 2012. The newest to play the different characters. “I’m often asked, humorous, but there’s a time when you go, ‘Well, his first look at his new school with cover shows Auggie in ‘Mommy, can you just use your regular voice?’ I do why don’t I say all the true and kind things?’ ” his trademark helmet, his mom, played by a very dark version of Julian [a bully in Wonder].” which allows him to Julia Roberts. hide in plain sight. Never, ever give up. You don’t have to be When R.J. started writing Wonder, her older son had just finished fifth grade, so she set her mean to hurt someone. story at that age level. “It wasn’t the easiest year The idea for Wonder grew in R.J. after she and Stephen, “I will never forget that kindness, because people’s feelings…. Not to be down on social for him,” says R.J. “It’s an age when they’re tog- her younger son, then 3, were at an ice cream I was really messed up that day. Trust me, fathers media, but it makes people impatient for answers gling between being little kids and being teenag- shop next to a child who had severe craniofacial feel their own guilt.” Later, during filming, Stephen and information. There is no waiting for your ers. It’s a fragile moment in their lives. He had a differences — and her son cried in fear. Wanting was able to fly his daughter in to play Auggie’s sis- pictures to get developed at the drugstore, the couple of friend betrayals…. When you’re living to avoid hurting the little girl’s feelings, R.J. Eliza - stylist: Fashion ter, Via, in a scene in which she just happened to patience of it.” it through your kids, it becomes that much more rushed to leave, spilling milkshakes and unin- be celebrating her 4th birthday. “So I got to have touching. I was going to great pains to raise a son tentionally creating a scene as she did so. “As the birthday I missed!” he says. with the idea that kindness is paramount…but I pushed the stroller away, I heard the mom say Nothing is stronger I kept thinking, If every other parent isn’t doing in as sweet and calm a voice as you can imagine, TAKE TWO the same thing, I’m kind of spitting in the wind. than gentleness. ‘OK, guys, I think it’s time to go,’ ” R.J. says. “And Whatever you are, “My mom gave me unconditional love,” says R.J. A second book, I remember one incident where my son got his Auggie & Me, includes a that just got to me…what could I be teaching my “I think that’s the one thing we can really do for our feelings hurt and he was sad, and another moth- be a good one. chapter from the children so they could understand how to respond “I for sure need to break up with my phone,” says kids. Not to say that we have to be blind to their point of view of the boy er’s answer to that was ‘Well, maybe you need better next time? I was disappointed in myself. I Julia. “Because once the kids get home from little quirks and faults, but it helps you in life.” who bullies Auggie. to toughen him up.’ That’s not really the answer. started writing Wonder that very night.” school and it’s the time of day when I’m get- Julia agrees, but adds, “I think some people Rather than take my son down, why not try to ting a lot of messages, I’ll be making dinner and confuse unconditional love with spoiling. None of raise the bar for what we expect from our kids?” checking my phone and talking to the kids, but my kids would think I have a problem with that that’s not the conversation they want to have. distinction. I do love them unconditionally, and Believe you can. I kind of try to do too many things at once, which I I try, when they do something wrong, to say, ‘This WONDER-FUL STUFF Ironically, working on the feel-good movie trig- am not very good at, so I go through periods when doesn’t change the amount of love in this house Give (or get!) a little magic in your day gered parental guilt for Julia and Stephen, who I make a conscious effort once they’re home from for you, but you’ve got to do your homework.’ both spent long periods on set. Taking a movie school to put the phone down and try not to give Because I think that also makes a child feel safe.” role is “a complete mathematical equation now,” it too much attention until they go to bed. But The lesson is clear: Put kindness first, and the says Julia of juggling the demands of parenting then you’re in the weeds.” rest will follow. with the realities of moving onto a movie set for weeks at a time. “The minutiae are incredibly Books. Random House Children’s published by Palacio, R.J. by © 2014 irritating,” says Julia. “[But] I knew I was getting Very little is needed a pass on this one because the kids were like, to make a happy life. ‘Mom, you have to make this work.’ ” Despite her admitted dependence on her smart- WONDER phone, Julia draws a harder line with her kids when it comes to gadgets. “I have a fifth grader 365 Days of Wonder of 365 Days WRITE IT WEAR IT CARRY IT Kind words do who doesn’t have a device,” she says. “I think it IN SCHOOLS This Choose Kind A sweet necklace Stash your stuff overcomplicates the challenging times of fifth journal features daily with a mini book in this 15" x 17" not cost much. Your child’s school can become officially nicer by taking Making the film kept Stephen from his daugh- be-kind ideas. One charm lets your cotton canvas tote; grade…[a phone] is not a simple thing of direct the annual “Certified Kind” Classroom Challenge, a curriculum fave: “Surprise your child show the world an inside pocket ter’s birthday, an ache soothed by a sweet note communication, getting a busy signal and call- for third through sixth graders developed around Wonder. parents today. Wash she cares. (It makes keeps keys and other from Julia that read in part, “Your daughter will ing back later. [Now] there are so many indi- Through activities (like creating kindness jars), kids learn your family car before a great stocking essentials within not remember her 4th birthday, but she’ll always rect ways of showing someone appreciation — lasting lessons in empathy. For more information, go to

anyone gets up.” $17 stuffer!) $12 easy reach. $18 remember that her daddy made Wonder.” Says from adapted *Precepts Chbosky). and Stephen Palacio (R.J. Artists Honey Gunn using Oribe at Andre Roberts), (Julia sergenormant.com Normant for Hair: Serge beth Stewart. Lisa Jachno Manicure: Chbosky). and Stephen Palacio TMG-LA (R.J. using Chanel at Breuchaud Adam Roberts), (Julia Lancôme for Genevieve Makeup: Chbosky). and Stephen Palacio (R.J. Vernis using Chanel Le Artists Forward at Stone Stephanie Roberts), (Julia Aim Artists at or not. There are these little side doors now into wonderkindclassroom.com.

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