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A Critical Autoethnography of Video Gaming (2019) Directed by Dr

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A Critical Autoethnography of Video Gaming (2019) Directed by Dr KOUT, YACINE, Ph.D. Breaking Down the Enchantment: A Critical Autoethnography of Video Gaming (2019) Directed by Dr. Leila Villaverde. 298 pages. Video games are flooding our everyday lives from our phones to our schools. Our understanding of this medium is still developing as it shapes players’ sense of self and their view of the world. This study contributes to bridging that gap by questioning the educative power of video games and their impact on our society through an autoethnographic lens. I analyze my video gaming experiences by journaling, field noting, and crafting epiphanies that represent my history with this medium. I use critical pedagogy as a theoretical framework to unpack and dismantle my experiences as a long standing member of the video gaming community. I use critical themes such as identity building, meaning making, and oppression to make sense of my data. Through these themes, I answer my two central research questions: How did I navigate the video gaming culture as a student of critical pedagogy and in what ways do video games lend themselves to the teaching of critical pedagogy. Using a critical lens allows this study to deconstruct unexamined experiences that shape player identities. To answer my research questions, I use the concept of enchantment to capture the complexity of the stories I have grown up with, both the power I have drawn from them to build a sense of identity and my naïveté in overlooking, minimizing, or ignoring problematic and oppressive behaviors tied to these stories. I share how the wording of my experiences pushed me into adopting a new identity that reconciled my history as a video game player and my identity as a student of critical pedagogy. Through the deconstruction of my experiences, I also identified video gaming tools that lend themselves to the teaching of critical pedagogy. I share how these tools can be used in the classroom to help players/students question their own thinking, name their prejudice, and identify oppressive social systems. My study echoes Bochner’s concept of a story of “two selves,” a space that allowed me to better understand the culture I am part of and my role in it. My moving from an enchanted understanding to a continuous questioning of my engagement with a medium that holds a central place in my life constitutes an invitation to examine the stories we have all grown up with. In identifying both the power they have given us and the power they have over us, we can assess their impact and meaning, and therefore better understand ourselves. BREAKING DOWN THE ENCHANTMENT: A CRITICAL AUTOETHNOGRAPHY OF VIDEO GAMING by Yacine Kout A Dissertation Submitted to the Faculty of The Graduate School at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy Greensboro 2019 Approved by ____________________ Committee Chair ©2019 Yacine Kout APPROVAL PAGE This dissertation written by Yacine Kout has been approved by the following committee of the Faculty of The Graduate School at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Committee Chair ___________________________ Leila Villaverde Committee Members ___________________________ Kathy Hytten ___________________________ Spoma Jovanovic ___________________________ Gregory Price-Grieve ___________________________ Date of Acceptance by Committee _________________________ Date of Final Oral Examination ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Merci à Yessica - Gracias a ti por tu amor y apoyo. I could have never done this without you. You were there day in and day out. No one else knows the depths of my struggles, joys, and accomplishments. You helped me lift myself up and reach this goal when I was in the darkest pits. I am forever thankful to have you as a partner and friend. Merci à Ulysse - You were the first to write and sketch me as “Dr. Kout.” Your drawing has inspired me and given me courage throughout this journey. You amaze me every day. Continue to be you, Captain Awesome. Merci à papa et maman - Vous avez nourri un rêve d’enfant quand vous m’avez acheté cet Amstrad CPC 464. Aujourd’hui, ce cadeau prend une tournure que je n’aurais jamais imaginé quand j’y jouais. La graine que vous avez planté continue de porter ses fruits. Merci à Sabrina, Farouk, et Nabil - Je sais que je n’ai pas toujours été présent dans votre vie à la façon dont un grand frère aurait dû l'être mais j'espère que vous verrez dans ce projet une certaine satisfaction et peut être même une fierté. Merci à Pierre, Vincent, Benoît, William, Johan, Vincent, Laetitia, et Moujik - Pour ces samedis plein de possibilités, de camaraderie, de joie, et maintenant de nostalgie. Ce sont nos amitiés que j’ai cherché à retrouver où répliquer dans les jeux en ligne. Rien ne remplacera les histoires que nous avons créées ensemble. Merci à tous de ne pas m’avoir inonder d’amertume quand je suis parti. J’ai mis un océan entre nous. Il a changé nos relations et nos amitiés à jamais. Pardon. Vous me manquez tou(te)s. iii To Dr. Villaverde - Thank you for guiding me on this journey. Your patience and vigor made me a more thoughtful/mindful person and student. To Dr. Hytten, Dr. Price-Grieve, Dr. Jovanovic - Thank you for serving on my committee. Your feedback and encouragement helped me build myself as a more complex scholar. To Revital - Thank you for listening and giving an ear and heart to my immigrant scholar dilemmas. You helped me till the very last stretch. I hope I can be as good a friend to you as you have been to me. To Caitlin, Oliver, Elizabeth, Cristina, Amara - Thank you my friends for supporting me when I was stuck, for listening to my ramblings as I was making sense of my work. I hope I was able to support you the same you did. To Dr. Shapiro, Dr. Casey, Dr. Peck - Thank you for pushing me and supporting me in this endeavour, whether it was by listening to my complaints, offering me possibilities, or challenging me to write something I did not think I could do. To Anna, Leslie - Thank you my friends for showing me that there was a joyful end to this journey. To Dr. Blaisdell - Thank you for showing me that I had something valuable to bring to this world. Your genuineness and sincerity helped me start this journey. To Kathleen - Thank you for your kindness, guidance, and support. I learned about ELC thanks to you. You also gave me the final push I needed to get my dissertation done in time. iv To Stephen - Thank you for re-introducing me to philosophy and showing me that I could be a gadfly. To my pilot projects participants - Thank you for sharing your time and stories. To Juan, Troy, Dawn, Emily, Chris - Your work guided me when I was incapable of imagining my next sentence. I heard your voices as I read your introductions and conclusions. To my raidmates - Thank you for slaying internet dragons with me. The space we created saved me. Looking into my experiences helped me better know myself. v TABLE OF CONTENTS Page LIST OF TABLES ........................................................................................................... viii LIST OF FIGURES ........................................................................................................... ix CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION .................................................................................................1 A Thirty-Year-Old Relationship ..................................................................1 A Cultural Phenomenon ...............................................................................3 My ActRaiser Story .....................................................................................6 From Curiosity to Fury ..............................................................................10 A Culture Shaped by Social Issues, A Force Shaping Players ..................13 Statement of the Research Problem ...........................................................15 Research Questions ....................................................................................20 Overview of the Chapters ..........................................................................21 II. BECOMING A STUDENT OF CRITICAL PEDAGOGY: A REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE ON CRITICAL PEDAGOGY .............................................................................24 Introduction ................................................................................................24 The Social World .......................................................................................26 The Question of Power ..............................................................................29 What is Knowledge? ..................................................................................32 Critical Pedagogy as Democratic Imagination: Enacting New Futures ...........................................................................................53 Conclusion .................................................................................................58 III. AUTOETHNOGRAPHY AS METHODOLOGY ..............................................61 Introduction ................................................................................................61 Ellis’ Approaches to Autoethnographic Work ...........................................62 Doing Autoethnography: Methods and Processes in Data Collection, Analysis, and Presentation .........................................66 Conclusion .................................................................................................90 vi IV. BREAKING DOWN THE ENCHANTMENT: DECONSTRUCTING
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