The Jigsaw Model: a Key to a Loving Romantic Relationship

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The Jigsaw Model: a Key to a Loving Romantic Relationship Claremont Colleges Scholarship @ Claremont CMC Senior Theses CMC Student Scholarship 2021 The Jigsaw Model: A Key to a Loving Romantic Relationship Stz-Tsung (Stone) Han Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarship.claremont.edu/cmc_theses Part of the Philosophy Commons Recommended Citation Han, Stz-Tsung (Stone), "The Jigsaw Model: A Key to a Loving Romantic Relationship" (2021). CMC Senior Theses. 2772. https://scholarship.claremont.edu/cmc_theses/2772 This Open Access Senior Thesis is brought to you by Scholarship@Claremont. It has been accepted for inclusion in this collection by an authorized administrator. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Claremont McKenna College The Jigsaw Model: A Key to a Loving Romantic Relationship Submitted to Professor Adrienne Martin By Stz-Tsung (Stone) Han for Senior Thesis Spring, 2021 May 3rd Han2 Abstract Using a simple “jigsaw” analogy to explain love and its objectives, comedian Daniel Sloss had triggered 50,000 break-ups, 34 engagement cancelations, and 42 divorces. This goes to show that many people do not have a clear understanding of what is romantic love and loving relationships. This study aims to examine romantic relationships and their transformative nature. Combining the work of Professor Simon Keller and Niko Kolodny, I developed a new model that helps to address the questions raised above. I conclude that, in the short term, people are motivated by the attractive qualities of others, which contribute to the formulation of romantic relationships. The sustaining of such a relationship, however, requires the valuing of the relationship itself. Then, by examining Plato’s Ladder of Love theory, I show that long-term loving relationships are transformative tools for people to understand philosophical knowledge and the form of beauty. People who value such transformation come to value romantic relationships, whereas the existence of romance seems unnecessary to those who do not hold such value. Such a way of “climbing up the ladder” can serve as a blueprint for people to find their life’s central goals and ways to achieve them. Keywords: Philosophy of Love, Plato, Niko Kolodny, Simon Keller, Diotima’s Ladder of Love Han3 Content Section 1: The Jigsaw Model ....................................................................................................................................... 4 Introduction: an inspiration from Sloss’ Jigsaw Analogy ........................................................................................ 4 Understanding Loving Relationships ............................................................................................................................. 6 Keller’s approach: The Properties View ........................................................................................................................ 7 Objections to Keller ............................................................................................................................................................. 9 Solutions of the Objections to Keller .......................................................................................................................... 10 Niko Kolodny’s alternative proposal: The Relationship Theory ......................................................................... 11 Importance of the “Jigsaw” model .............................................................................................................................. 13 Section 2: The Transformative Nature of Romantic Relationships ............................................................... 15 Plato’s Ladder of Love ..................................................................................................................................................... 15 Level 1 to Level 2 .............................................................................................................................................................. 16 Level 2 to Level 3 .............................................................................................................................................................. 16 First three steps of the Ladder...................................................................................................................................... 17 Level 3 to Level 4 .............................................................................................................................................................. 18 Level 4 to Level 5 .............................................................................................................................................................. 19 Level 6................................................................................................................................................................................... 20 The Transformative Nature of Love ............................................................................................................................ 20 The Jigsaw Model’s place in the Ladder of Love .................................................................................................... 21 Friends with Benefits and Romantic Relationships ................................................................................................ 23 Kolodny and Level 4 of the Ladder ............................................................................................................................. 24 Brief Summary ................................................................................................................................................................... 26 The Story of “Jigsaw” ....................................................................................................................................................... 27 Section 3: The Past, Present, and Future of Romantic Relationship ............................................................ 28 What comes next? ............................................................................................................................................................ 28 The Jigsaw Model in Practice ........................................................................................................................................ 30 Coming back to Sloss’ Jigsaw Analogy ...................................................................................................................... 31 Ending Notes ...................................................................................................................................................................... 35 References ........................................................................................................................................................................... 36 Han4 Section 1: The Jigsaw Model Introduction: an inspiration from Sloss’ Jigsaw Analogy As most people know, in recent years, Netflix had been gaining popularity and expanded its field of interest in a variety of areas, ranging from Korean soap operas to live comedy performances. On September 11th, 2018, Netflix released 2 episodes of live comedy performances of an artist named Daniel Sloss.1 Born exactly 28 years before the show’s release date, Sloss had been one of the comedians who were commonly recognized as “the critic of society”, not afraid to blatantly make fun of some very sensitive topics, including vegetarianism, disability, as well as love. In his second performance named “Jigsaw”, Sloss specifically tackled the concept of “true love” by analyzing how love should operate. He started with a Jigsaw puzzle analogy that his father used to explain the concept of “life” to him, claiming that everyone’s life is like a Jigsaw puzzle that we need to piece together on our own. The catch is that we have all lost the box of the puzzle, so we must guess what the image should be like (in other words, what our life should be like). People usually start the puzzle with the four corners, which are family, friends, hobbies/interests, and jobs. However, we need to find the centerpiece of the puzzle. Sloss’ father told him that: “Well, that’s the partner piece. You want this perfect person who you’ve never met before to come out of nowhere, fit your life perfectly, complete you, and make your life whole for the first time.”2 Unfortunately, in reality, the centerpiece of the puzzle (namely the “partner piece”) had failed to fulfill many people’s lives, for they had to move around other pieces so that their partner could be their centerpiece. “I don’t need this hobby. I don’t need this opinion. Mom who? … What has she done for me recently?”3 Sloss went on to talk about how his father made a mistake, that the centerpiece does not necessarily have to be one’s partner. This belief of “needing a partner” had forced many, including Sloss 1 (Daniel Sloss: Live shows 2018) 2 (Oron, Why 7,000 Couples broke up after watching this comedy show 2018) 3 (Oron, Why 7,000 Couples broke up after watching this comedy show 2018) Han5 himself, to jam two un-fitting puzzles together, destroying both puzzles. As Sloss stated, “People are more in love with the idea of love than the person they are with,”4. Sloss eventually found out that the centerpiece should be something that one finds to be important (it might be one’s partner but not necessarily), and the commonly accepted concept of “one must find true love to complete oneself” is a societal lie. Since coming up
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