The Complete Cartoons of the New Yorker

THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Republican sound bite.” “Democratic sound bite.”

Robert Mankoff (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 1 3

anger bill clinton lewinsky starr impeachment cocktail curly democrat hairline hostile impeachment jackets kenneth lewinsky lines media men monica news parties partisan party politcs pres receding sound soundbite starr straight television ties two washington 164819 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Shouldn’t you be reading that to me out loud or something?”

Peter C. Vey (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 2 3

bedtime books but children father incompetents loud not out parents read reading reads room son’s sons storybook 164820 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mike Twohy (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 3 3

birds captionless christmas death fashion general holidays motto shirts survive survived t-shirt thanksgiving turkey turkeys wears 164821 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

John Jonik (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 4 3

captionless christmas crime criminals day depletion evergreen executions forest general lumberjacks massacre mountain nature nicholas reduced stumps tree trees valentine’s 164822 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This isn’t working. We have nothing in common.”

Marisa Acocella (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 5 3

affairs bag because boyfriend breaking breaks clothing dating down fashionable fights flared general insecurity jacket left look-alikes love outfit over pants relationships same shoulder ski tote wearing woman working 164823 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ll have a bourbon hot toddy.” “Make that two.” “Let’s see, I’ll have a Kahlúa and coffee.” “I’ll have a hot buttered rum.” “And bring me an Irish coffee, please.”

Henry Martin (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 6 3

alcoholic bars beverages buttered cafe snowman coffee drinking general group hot liquor order outdoor people restaurant rum service snow snowmen toddy weather winter 164824 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Arnie Levin (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 7 3

bar bars beer bolts dart darts drink frosty game games general god gods lightning like mugs olympians three throw zeus 164825 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“At this time, the family is grieving and suing.”

Frank Cotham (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 8 3

camera courthouse death equipment families general lawsuits lawyers media meet microphones outside press say scenes sue suing wielding 164826 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!”

Mick Stevens (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 9 3

adults boy chair children couch doctors general girl have jobs laying little notes patients psychiatrists psychologists sitting such taking therapists usually 164827 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“How much longer are you planning to play the sap?”

Bernard Schoenbaum (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 10 3

anger fights husband husbands incompetents irritated large living marital marriage paper reading relationships room sap speaks wife 164828 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I remember when they used to give you stationary cubicles!”

Gahan Wilson (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 11 3

architecture businessmen corporate cubicles employees executives management office offices shoulders stationary straps suspended their two wearing workers 164829 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Victoria Roberts (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 12 3

actors against animals antlered bambi books captioned captionless caribou casting children color column dogs dolphins drawing flicka flipper friend general horses lassie little moose movies mutt octopus part peter played rabbit rabbits roberts showing snail snails spotted squirrel squirrels theatre victoria 164830 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“How many times do I have to beep you?”

Peter Steiner (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 13 3

annoyed-looking beepers both call car cellular children doorway general mother mothers pagers playing portable room son’s stand telephones toy wearing 164831 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“ ‘Vengeance is ours,’ saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine.”

Leo Cullum (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 14 3

anger bible client divorce general language lawsuits lawyer lawyers mine motivation office revenge speaks ‘vengeance woman 164832 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 15 3

above behind books briefs captionless characters city comic fast flies fly flying loses mid-air new off over skyline superheroes superman underwear which york 164833 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We have no mandatory retirement age, Dave, but under certain conditions we tend to encourage people to die.”

J.B. Handelsman (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 16 3

age board boss business chairmen collar corporate death desk employee employer employment encourage encouraging executive executives fire firing general leave man mandatory members occupation office older personnel profession professional retirement speaks suicide white work 164834 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’d like to believe we’re redefining the way future generations will waste their time.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 17 3

advances around computer computers fool future games guys laziness lazy office redefine technological technology three waste 164835 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m afraid the celebrities we have tonight are all from the aluminum industry.”

Robert Weber (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 18 3

aluminum any asks businessmen celebrities couple d’ factories fancy general house industry maitre restaurant restaurants there waiters 164836 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You’ll never go wrong with sunflower seeds.”

Charles Barsotti (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 19 3

cuisine food general guest low recommends restaurant restaurants seeds service squirrel squirrels sunflower waiter waiters wrong 164837 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (1/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 20 3

all allison allowance anything appreciate arguments battles because bedtime big bite blowing book books border boy broccoli brother but c+ can’t captionless categorized chast child children choice chore clothing color commitment computer conflicts consulting contents dad damn daughter deals did -discipline disputes dog dollars don’t downloading drugs elephantine english every everybody’s father fights find food friends full-page general general-ingratitude gets girl go going gone granted hate head here illuminated illustra - tion includes jail jamie just kids lady liar life like look made make meaning messy messy-room miscellaneous mom mother new nights not now out page pants parent parent-child parents personal-hygiene phone piano pigtails possible quarrels quitting reason replies rhubarbs right room roz ruining run-ins say says school school-related scraps see shaved she shower sibling-associated sister sit skirmishes something son spats squabbles stack stay stick stop stopitstopit stopitstopitstopit stripper stuff suppos edly table take teen- age ten the there these this three tiffs till toc too touched walk want wearing wedlock week what you’re young 164838 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Just impeachy, thanks. And you?”

Mick Stevens (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 21 3

answers bill clinton democratic general government impeach language official party peachy phone play politics pres republican smiles telephones word 164840 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He seems to have lost his focus since he went into politics.”

Peter Steiner (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 22 3

attacked briefcase business businessmen celebrities conservative costumed eyed fights focus former general glassy gov governor holding jesse minnesota pro pro-wrestler ring sports suit ventura wrestler wrestling 164841 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We never say ‘death’—we prefer ‘deadness.’ ”

Frank Cotham (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 23 3

burial casket cemetery cliche cliches crying dead deadness death expressions funeral funerals grave graveyard language mourning open over play plot tomb tombstone undertaker wake woman word words 164842 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s ten o’clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!”

Mike Twohy (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 24 3

all bell calls crier criers days olden out people poll polls result surveys town 164843 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Very well put, Harper.”

Gahan Wilson (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 25 3

another before bows business businessmen down executive general hierarchy management one well 164844 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m trying not to badger—how am I doing?”

Victoria Roberts (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 26 3

badger fights general husbands living man marital marriage problems relationships room says she's trying wife wives 164845 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I am not a vengeful man, but I do enjoy a touch of retribution now and then.”

Edward Koren (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 27 3

another axe couple dagger fireplace fireplaces gun guns machine mantel motivation over retribution revenge rifle security sits spears swords talking two vengeful violence 164846 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I don’t sing. I do standup.”

Sam Gross (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 28 3

comedians couple entertainment gondola gondolier international italy regional sing standup venice 164847 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

DINING OUT (1 of 3)

Dilemma—Veal or Chicken?

William Steig (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 29 3

aperitifs birds card dining food general gourmandish man menu out problems restaurants spread steig two william wst 164848 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

DINING OUT (2 of 3)

Vin Extraordinaire

William Steig (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 30 3

brings carafe dining drinking general out people restaurant restaurants rich service steig table two waiter waiters wealthy william wine wst 164850 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

DINING OUT (3 of 3)

Saucissons Alfresco

William Steig (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 31 3

cart city cuisine dining dog dogs food fresco hot low out patron sausage service steig william wst 164849 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool.”

Barbara Smaller (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 32 3

awards boy building children competition contests education elementary general holding mother noncompetitive outside prize ribbon school schools small students teachers urban 164851 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Can we get back to you? He seems to have stepped away from his trousers.”

William Hamilton (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 33 3

business caller executives general offices phone receptionist receptionists sex telephones trousers 164852 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It comes in midnight gray, charcoal gray, slate gray, and gray.”

Mick Stevens (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 34 3

clothing colors consumerism customer fashion gray saleswoman shopping shows sweater women’s zone 164853 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 35 3

bad chooses crime crouches ‘desk’ education empty exam good hubcap hubcaps imaginary loosen mime mimes one other room schools sits steal students study studying teachers teen-age teen-agers ‘the two while 164854 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Remember, the enemy of your enemy is your friend.”

Leo Cullum (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 36 3

animals backyard cats cliche cliches dog dogs enemy expressions friends general language mice mouse play talking word words 164855 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The Goose That Lays the Golden Eggs is proud to announce she’s now laying two additional lines of eggs: Silver and Platinum.”

Michael Maslin (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 37 3

announcement announcements egg fable fables fairy king laid medieval myths page reads room royalty stories story tale tales throne 164856 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“ ‘Best if used before 1/1/2000.’ ”

George Booth (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 38 3

‘best bug calendar computer computers cubicle dates expiration glass hands incompetents knees looking magnifying man millennium office technology through y2k 164857 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 39 3

all baguette blend bread brie cabernet can can’t captionless chast cheese chianti crumpet decide describe dining drawings drinking edam ‘euro’ eurobread eurocheese eurodollar europe eurowine flatbread focaccia food have in incorporates items like lingonberry liqueur loved money mood mozzarella much new now perfect portuguese regional rioja rosé roz sauvignon stilton sweden’s swiss them these three wine works you’re 164858 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Mind if I thump it? I’m a Bible-thumper.”

J.B. Handelsman (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 40 3

bible cliche cliches court courthouse courtroom expressions guilt guilty innocence innocent judge judicial juries jury language law lawyers legal man oath play religion scenes stand swear system thump thumper thumping trial witness word words 164859 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ve had a long day, so I don’t want anything that will put up much of a struggle.”

Charles Barsotti (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 41 3

animals businessmen dining executive executives general lion lions menu order ordering predator prey restaurant restaurants service struggle talking waiter waiters wild 164860 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Damn—we just missed him.”

Danny Shanahan (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 42 3

angel angels another cigar cigarettes cigars cloud fitness giant god heaven looking miss missed missing one 164861 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Here—in case you ever need a shoulder to cry on.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 43 3

autopsies box boxes cliche cliches coat cry doctors expressions general holding hospitals lab language man medical operating play rooms shoulder students woman word words 164862 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Matthew Diffee (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 44 3

ask beggar beggars bum bums captionless cliche cliches cup expressions hobo hobos homeless homelessness language money person play poor poverty sidewalk sign sitting tin tramp tramps will word words 164863 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Barry Blitt (1/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 45 3

combination combine combined magazine magazines media merge merged news newspaper newspapers paper papers periodical periodicals publication publishing tabloid tabloids 174400 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I have the whole universe to look after, so I’m putting you in charge of this planet.”

Sam Gross (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 46 3

cloud dumb- earth god heaven kid looking planets pointy-headed sons stands universe whole 164865 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I think Republicans and Democrats alike can agree that Frank Shustermann is dead.”

Peter Steiner (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 47 3

burial cemetery coffin corpse death democratic eulogy funeral funerals gives grave graveyard mourning party pastor plot politics priest republican tomb tombstone wake 164866 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Yet another apology.”

Tom Cheney (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 48 3

adultery age apology cave caveman clinton drops head large men own politicians rock sex spear stands stone top washington 164867 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This ‘digital revolution’—can we muscle in on that?”

Robert Mankoff (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 49 3

around capo cliche cliches computers conference crime criminals digital expressions gang gangsters internet language mafia meetings mob mobsters organized other play revolution sitting table technology word words 164868 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Perhaps we could tell the international investment community that we’re sorry.”

J.P. Rini (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 50 3

apologizing apology bill brokers clinton disasters economy government impeachment international investors kenneth kremlin leaders lewinsky look market monica moscow onto out overcoming pres recent refers regional role russia russian scandal starr stock stocks suggest world 164869 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Camouflage becomes you.”

Victoria Roberts (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 51 3

armchair becomes blend chameleon clothing compliments dress fashion furniture general leopard leopard-print man matches men men’s newspapers patterns print sofa suited which woman zebra 164870 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“No, no, no—stay as late as you want. In fact, divorce me.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 52 3

armchair coming divorce fights general home husband husbands late living marital marriage phone relationships room talking telephones woman 164871 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Good news, Mr. Pickett—it’s just a slow leak.”

Danny Shanahan (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 53 3

age cliche cliches doctor doctors exam expressions fitness language leaks male medical patient patients play sagging sitting table word words wrinkled wrinkles young 164872 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“After all these years together, the mating is still reasonably good.”

Edward Koren (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 54 3

animal animals another baby children couple dog dogs dozens family friend fuzzy general good litter little marriage mating near playing reasonably relationship sex talk their them 164873 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 55 3

announcers anything books can’t come crisis general media radio read reading say saying sports sportscasters studio talk three 164874 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I preferred their ‘Take a number’ system.”

Mike Twohy (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 56 3

blindfolded blindfolds blindman’s bluff buff business butcher butchers childishness chooses customer deli delicatessens games management next number’ numbers prefer preferred preferring ‘take 164875 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Arm candy.”

Edward Frascino (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 57 3

birds cranes daddies dating fowl general gorgeous guy heron stork tropical other park parks peacocks pigeon pigeons relationships scenes sugar talking two water whisper 164876 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“For the profits of which we are about to partake, we give thanks. Amen.”

Mick Stevens (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 58 3

around board bowed brokers chairman conference executives general heads market meetings money pray prayers praying profits religion room several sit stock stocks table 164877 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

George Booth (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 59 3

bill blowviatt cameraman capitol clinton congressman converge demands ethics fist front government half-truths impeachment kenneth lewinsky lies man media microphone monica morals more office out oval politics pres raised sex shiftiness spins starr subterfuge taradiddle taradiddles washington whoppers 164878 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

George Booth (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 60 3

around bath bill blown blowviatt blowviatt’s catches clinton congressman disgruntled dog dogs fashion fourth gets government into jerkin kenneth lewinsky men’s monica out politics pres shirts stands stares starr towel waist wall washington wearing wind window 164879 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

George Booth (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 61 3

appearance asked avoid bed bedroom been bill blowviatt box cameras clinton congressmen’s exposure flynt’s house hustler impeachment kenneth larry lewinsky magazine manager monica nightstand peccadilloes pizza playing pres publ reads reference republican scenes sexual starr this washington week 164880 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

John Jonik (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 62 3

alcohol all allowed automobiles ball beach beaches behind belts bicycles bike captionless cigarettes cigars climbing drinking drinks fires fireworks general helmets insurance insuranceville jogging ladders limit lists not objects outside playing pools power reads required road roller running rural seat second sharp sign signs skates skating smoking speed swimming things third this tools town tree trees various ‘welcome 164881 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And they say electric cars aren’t practical.”

Robert Weber (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 63 3

auto automobiles car consumerism dealers dealership electric inventions out practical shoots shopping showrooms toast toasters top useless 164882 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Michael Maslin (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 64 3

booth booths central city grand information new reads regional station whazzup york 164883 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The food’s great, but the chef ’s a tyrant.”

Charles Barsotti (1/25/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 65 3

another chefs cooks food king one restaurants royalty together tyrants walk 164884 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 66 3

automobiles back belt belts cab general message ‘no passenger reads recorded says seat seat-belt sign signs talk talking taxi taxis 164886 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The very survival of our society depends upon the just compensation of our professional athletes.”

Frank Cotham (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 67 3

age athletes bones cave cavemen fire general men salaries sitting society sports stone surrounded survival talking three 164887 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Give me a break, Doctor.”

J.B. Handelsman (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 68 3

adams bedside big clown clowns doctors general handelsman hospital medical movies nose noses patch patients red robin stethoscope williams woman 164888 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Tiffany tells me you were at Sundance.”

Mort Gerberg (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 69 3

bar bars costume cowboy director directors face fashion festival film fringed general how introduction man meeting movie movies outfit photography see sizing western woman's would 164889 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Your squash medley will be right out, sir.”

George Booth (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 70 3

accidents air another customer door food general hurtling incompetents kitchen medley restaurants service squash through trips waiter waiters 164890 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oh, God, am I housebroken.”

Charles Barsotti (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 71 3

animals complains couch dog dogs general housebroken psychiatrists psychoanalyst psychologists talking 164891 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 72 3

against brand cliche cliches expressions giant gigantic language leans lumberjack lumberjacks made pencil pencils play sequoia sequoias sized trees wood word words 164892 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He’s big, all right, and he’s definitely a wolf, but it’ll be up to a jury to decide whether or not he’s bad.”

Michael Maslin (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 73 3

animals away bad big brick crime fairy general house juries lead little look officers outside pigs police tales talking three trials two wolf wolves 164893 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“For God’s sake, Edwards. Put the laser pointer away.”

Leo Cullum (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 74 3

around blown boardroom executives guns guy head inventions just laser meetings off one pointer presenter ray sit table technology toys violence 164894 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You tell them we’re not ready to make nice until they’re ready to make nice.”

Bernard Schoenbaum (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 75 3

another desk executive executives language lawsuits lawyers make nice one play standing word 164895 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“That’s nothing. My mom is older than the Superbowl.”

William Hamilton (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 76 3

age aging analogies analogy another bag boy championship children citizen citizens cliche cliches couch elderly expressions football game games general groceries holding language little mother mothers nfl old one play remote senior sitting sport sports walks word words 164896 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Would you like to take your old face?”

Mike Twohy (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 77 3

bag doctors doggie face facelift general hospitals leftovers medical offices patient patients picks plastic post receptionist receptionists restaurant restaurants surgery were 164897 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It was a little preachy.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 78 3

being churches clergy congregation criticizes female language member minister preachy priest religion sermon speeches vicar’s 164898 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!”

Edward Koren (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 79 3

children discipline experience family frazzled friend general harass hockey holds mothers older problems son stick stroller three youngest 164899 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He says he wants a lawyer.”

Tom Chalkley (2/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 80 3

american another general hand interprets language lawyers monkey’s monkeys researcher scientists sign signalsto 164900 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s a full-bodied wine with hints of acrimony, partisanship, and moral outrage.”

Leo Cullum (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 81 3

acrimony bill clinton clinton lewinsky describes general impeachment man moral outrage partisanship politics pres restaurant restaurants seated trial waiter waiters washington wine 164901 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Of course you know Congressman Beasley.”

J.B. Handelsman (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 82 3

bill campaign campaigning candidate civil clinton clown clowns cocktail election events gatherings government impeachment incompetents introduces introductions know leisure lewinsky man mingling monica official parties party platform political politicians politics pres social socializing suit washington woman 164902 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“What about the redemptive power of my art?”

Lee Lorenz (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 83 3

artist artists artwork gate general heaven heaven’s let painter peter redemption redemptive refuses scornful 164903 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“What have you been up to?”

Gahan Wilson (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 84 3

answers bound coming crime door gagged general home husband husbands late line marriage police relationships returned tape wife work wrapped yellow 164904 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Sometimes it’s important to stop whatever break you’re taking and just do the work.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 85 3

advises break breaks businessmen coffee employee executive boss executives general hierarchy important incompetents management office older work workers 164905 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you’ll have to bring yourselves up.”

David Sipress (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 86 3

bring children daughter exhausted burnt failure family general out overwhelm parents raise rear small son stress tell themselves two will 164906 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“When we have fun, we really have fun.”

Victoria Roberts (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 87 3

age armchairs boring eachover facing fun husband husbands marriage middle middle-aged relationships sit speaks wife 164907 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The first winter is always the toughest.”

Danny Shanahan (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 88 3

bumps comforts covering experienced fish head heads ice lake’s more older several talking tough winter young 164908 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’d like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising.”

Frank Cotham (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 89 3

advertising ball bed bespectacled big cliche cliches desk dog dog’s dogs executive executives expressions fangs floor general human into introductions language magazines man meet meeting next office play scratch-and- sits sniff ushering where word words 164909 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Sidney Harris (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 90 3

cliche cliches expressions food general health healthfood keeper language outside play salt scattering shop sidewalk store storefront substitute winter word words 164910 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Shortly after I realized I had plenty, I realized there was plenty more.”

William Hamilton (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 91 3

background class club clubs drinking greed hangs hunting language men mens money more opulence painting people play plenty rich smoking upper wealth wealthy word 164911 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I had a nice time, Steve. Would you like to come in, settle down, and raise a family?”

Robert Mankoff (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 92 3

after apartment cliche cliches date dates dating down expressions family general into invites language love man marriage nice play proposals relationships scenes settle social time woman word words 164912 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Your offer’s a crumpled little ball in the middle of my desk.”

Bernard Schoenbaum (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 93 3

anger businessmen crumpled desks executive executives general office paper phone telephones 164913 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Stuart Leeds (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 94 3

age aging car cars cemetery cliche cliches death driving expressions gravemarker gravestones graveyards language lewis1939 pierson play reads sixty speed steven time tombstones went william word words zero 164914 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m told that you respond very well to intimidation.”

Peter C. Vey (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 95 3

boss employee executive executives general hierarchy intimidates intimidating management office response 164915 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Warren Miller (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 96 3

askance board book books businessman captionless children city class could engine into little looks new prepare pulls reading school schoolchildren schools station stories story subway subways teacher teachers trip york 164916 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Tom Cheney (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 97 3

another around businessmen captionless corner cubicles curious each general hide looking looks man nosey office other over partition peeking peeping people seek their walls woman workers 164917 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s not as if I invented the food chain.”

Charles Barsotti (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 98 3

animals businesmen chain executive executives fittest food human invent invented jungle king lion lions smaller survival talking walk 164918 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I love these bipartisan gatherings, don’t you?”

J.B. Handelsman (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 99 3

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“I’ll trade you my soy milk for your wheatgrass juice.”

Harry Bliss (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 100 3

children eating food foods health healthy items juice little lunch lunchboxes lunchtime milk school schoolgirls soy swap trade trading two wheatgrass 164920 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Where do you get off saying my kid is grade level?”

Barbara Smaller (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 101 3

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Roz Chast (2/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 102 3

age angry any anymore aplenty armani armchair army arousal art artists bad balding bars battlefield beatnik blank-faced book boy bucks called chast children coffee comes couture crummiest discipline dogs doing dozen drinking dull each eight entitled fantod fashion father five-dollar fix fought gaga galore general generation graph have headphones holds homework hot i i’ll invented just kids labelled language late listened listens made magazines man men middle models mournfully music mystery need never next not oh one out over panels piece plain plateaus play please plus points pricetag restaurant right rotten roz ruined scientist scotch sculpture sex sits smoking sold soldier spoiled stands staying street stupid styles such surrounded thanks that’s the their thinking tit les tofu took twenty two ugly wanna want war wars water went what’s which woman word world you 164922 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mike Twohy (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 103 3

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Peter Steiner (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 104 3

cliche cliches computer computers contains e-mail expressions hate home informs internet language mail man office play screen technology word words working 164924 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The yeas have it. Censure, and we’ll give you a running start.”

Tom Cheney (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 105 3

bill cave cavemen clinton clubs government impeachment language leaders lewinsky men monica neanderthal one political politics pres running start their washington 164925 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m afraid there’s really very little I can do.”

Gahan Wilson (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 106 3

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“You’re so organized!”

Robert Weber (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 107 3

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“What do you have in investment-grade reds?”

Edward Koren (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 108 3

brokers clerk customer grade investment investments liquor market shop stock stocks stores wine wines 164928 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Now that the kids are grown and gone, I thought it might be a good time for us to have sex.”

Robert Mankoff (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 109 3

age children general grown husband intercourse marriage married middle-aged relations relationships sex sexual wife 164929 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Michael Maslin (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 110 3

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“I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 111 3

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“This is my client’s videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing.”

Frank Cotham (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 112 3

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“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”

George Booth (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 113 3

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“You’d better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time.”

Charles Barsotti (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 114 3

bar bars belligerent cliche cliches cool expressions fight fights general language man mightier nib not pen pens pick play sword swords than warns word words 164934 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Bernard Schoenbaum (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 115 3

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“We can’t wear vintage—we are vintage.”

Barbara Smaller (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 116 3

age another appearances attic attire boutique chloe’s clothes clothing fashion front general looks middle older one sales shop shopping store stores style trend trendy vintage woman women’s 164936 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 117 3

all also barr belong bill blue bluish bob cards clinton current day drawing especially fervor for gets greeting happy heaven henry house hyde impeachment jewish jowls just lewinsky lowly mccollum monica morally more not party politics pres prominent quiverin’ red reddish rep republican republicans rhymed right righteous roses shiverin’ sinner speaking start sugar three-panel trial valentine’s valentines violets washington we’re when where white whitish winner wrong you’re 164937 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“No, lad, we aren’t movers. We’re just Shakers.”

Mick Stevens (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 118 3

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“Looks like crime is down.”

Sidney Harris (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 119 3

9-5 crime criminal criminals crooks door hours house m-f man mugging nypd outside police precinct read rob robbery sat sign signs stand station store sun thieves woman 164938 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“There’s a twenty in it for you if you just keep moving.”

J.C. Duffy (2/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 120 3

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James Stevenson (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 121 3

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Ed Arno (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 122 3

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“That was fun. What time does the next trial of the century start?”

Jack Ziegler (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 123 3

bill case cliche cliches clinton couple court expressions finishes general impeachment language law legal play politics pres senate television trial trials tv watching word words 164942 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Ham Khan (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 124 3

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“Did you hire a consultant? I didn’t hire a consultant.”

Charles Barsotti (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 125 3

business businessmen closed consultants eastern execs executives eyes floor folded guru hands hire hiring incompetent look management puzzled religions sits 164944 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Nothing. I just called to say I found a working pay phone.”

Michael Crawford (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 126 3

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Edward Koren (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 127 3

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“I hear the streets are paved with garbage.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 128 3

ancient another cliche cliches eldorodo expressions garbage gold history language one play rat rats rodent rodents rubbish streets trash variations word words 164947 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Perhaps if we could think of me sitting here as an art installation, that would help.”

Victoria Roberts (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 129 3

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Arnie Levin (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 130 3

ancient bricks buildings city cloud down god gods greece greek greeks hurling lightning mythological mythology new standing urban york zeus 164949 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly.”

Frank Cotham (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 131 3

bill bills care cliche cliches comforts death debt doctor doctors dying expressions final general grieving husbands intensive language money outside patients pay payment play prompt request unit widow widows wish word words 164950 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Things have gotten bad here. There’s talk of a war with another gated community.”

Mick Stevens (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 132 3

appointed bad battle cliche cliches communities community expressions fight fighting fights gated having home insecurity language neighborhood play security suburban suburbia tea two violence war wars well women word words 164951 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 133 3

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“Mind if I take a moment to check with my sex therapist?”

Bernard Schoenbaum (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 134 3

bed bedroom check couple dating incompetent insecurity intercourse man marriage nude phone picks psychiatrists psychologists relations relationships scenes sex sexual telephones therapist therapy 164953 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Christopher Weyant (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 135 3

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George Booth (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 136 3

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“Tell me again—which blond actress is she the blond-actress daughter of?”

Warren Miller (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 137 3

acting audiences celebrities celebrity child children color couple daughters exiting fame family famous film hair hollywood middle-aged mother movie movies parent relative star theatre 164956 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m living proof that life begins at forty-three.”

Peter C. Vey (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 138 3

age aged babies baby bar bars childishness cliche cliches crisis diaper diapers expressions general language life man middle midlife play word words 164957 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is that you, Pumpkin?”

Sam Gross (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 139 3

animal animals cat cats chinese coming cuisine deliver delivery door doors food general hand home husbands low menu menus name names pet slips speaks through woman 164958 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m making a bundle on Wall Street, but it’s not what I really want. What I really want is to make a bundle uptown.”

Robert Weber (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 140 3

brokers city class cocktail dream dreams location man market money new opulence party people rich stock stocks talking upper uptown wealth wealthy woman york 164959 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Hey, I’m just happy the transplant worked at all.”

Robert Mankoff (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 141 3

cliche cliches cocktail events expressions feet foot gatherings hair head heads incompetent introductions language leisure man medical mingling parties party play shod shoe shoes social socializing transplants woman word words 164960 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

J.B. Handelsman (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 142 3

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Leo Cullum (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 143 3

ban banned bear bears cartoon case characters cigarette cigarettes court courtroom expert general lawyers public rule ruling scenes smoke smoker smokey smoking stand testimony witness 164962 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Keep your eyes on your own screen.”

Barbara Smaller (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 144 3

cheat cheating children classroom cliche cliches computers education elementary exam expressions eyes front language monitor personal play pupil quiz school schoolroom screen sit student students teach teachers teaching technology test tests word words 164963 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Would you mind turning down your Walkman just a little!”

Gahan Wilson (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 145 3

analyst anger complains during general ignore ignoring incompetent listening patient psychiatrist psychiatrists psychiatry psychologists psychology psychotherapist radio radios session therapist therapists therapy turn 164964 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K., we’ll walk, but don’t feed the street life.”

Danny Shanahan (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 146 3

animals beggar beggars bum bums city cliche cliches concrete cup daughter expressions feed hobo hobos homeless homelessness jungle language life mom new people pigeons play poor poverty rats rich scenes street stylish sunglasses take tin tramp tramps upwardly-mobile urban wearing wildlife word words york 164965 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it.”

David Sipress (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 147 3

bill check chivalry conservative conservatives date dates dating discussing dutch general how independance independant man manners pay restaurants social split 164966 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Bye-bye, sweetie. Daddy and I will pick you up when you’re eighteen.”

Peter Steiner (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 148 3

boy care child children day drops eighteen general growing grown incompetent little mom off parent parenting parents pick raise raising rearing she up 164967 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Stuart Leeds (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 149 3

authority bar barroom bars bartender beer booth booze bridge bridges charge city cliche cliches cover drinking drinks expressions fare general hike house language minimum money mta new nightclubs play pub public reads restaurants sign tavern toll transit tunnel tunnels two-drink urban word words york 164968 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

R. Sikoryak (2/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 150 3

city commute commuter magazine magazines manhattan mass media neighborhoods new news newspaper newspapers nyc paper papers periodical periodicals publication publishing rail railroad regional tabloid tabloids train trains transit transportation travel urban york yorker 174401 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K., on my signal we’re going to shift from pre-millennial to post-millennial thinking.”

Robert Mankoff (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 151 3

board chairman communications executive executives head language meeting meetings millennium others post-millennial table think thinking y2k 164969 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 152 3

bag baseball captionless catch field general greed money pay player salaries salary sport sports spring training 164970 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I got another callback. My agent says it’s between me and the guy who’s going to get it.”

Pat Byrnes (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 153 3

acting actor actors agency amateur cast coffeeshop compete competition counter employment friends general incometents part restaurants role service theatre young 164971 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process.”

Danny Shanahan (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 154 3

black casually corpse death decaying fights friend general grief grieving humor husband husbands living marital newspaper phone process reading relationships room sits telephones wife 164972 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I can’t decide whether to specialize in criminal law or legal punditry.”

Peter Steiner (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 155 3

academic building campus college crime criminals general law lawyer lawyers learned learning major opinion outside school source students subject two 164973 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Sorry, wrong room.”

Frank Cotham (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 156 3

beside burial casket cemetery clipboard death doctor doctors examination fitness funeral funerals general get grave graveyard grieving health incompetents m.d. medical mourning nurse open patients physician plot sitting soon tomb tombstone wake well widow wrong 164974 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that’s so much worse.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 157 3

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“Here’s a nice one. It was confiscated from a little old drunk lady.”

Warren Miller (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 158 3

automobiles car cars city consumerism crime customer dealer dealers drivers driving drunk general giuliani impound impounded law laws mayor new rudolph shopping used york 164976 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The skin on the organic chicken was thick and greasy, so I got rid of it.”

George Booth (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 159 3

ate breakfast chicken collapsed cooking crazy-looking dinner dog dogs eat eating fitness food foods housewife husband ill kitchens lies organic refrigerator rid sick skin table 164977 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt.”

Robert Weber (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 160 3

army clause fight fighting flag generals giant global government hurt incompetents injure injured injury look map military pins plan plans room rule rules strategy wars 164978 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m sorry, but you have to be here the minute the doors open if you want worm.”

Charles Barsotti (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 161 3

bird birds catches cliches customer’s early food general menus order popular restaurant restaurants sayings special takes waiter waiters worm 164979 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Daddy’s way of helping you with your homework is not to help you.”

Leo Cullum (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 162 3

armchair children cliche cliches expressions father fathers help helping homework language newspaper not parents play reading school self son students teachers word words 164980 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a ‘roommate,’ how many uncles does Heather have?”

William Haefeli (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 163 3

arithmetic books characters children classroom education elementary families family gay homosexual homosexuality homosexuals lesbian lesbians marriage math modern mommies mothers problems relationship relationships relatives ‘roommate school schools schoolteacher sexuality teachers two uncles 164981 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Shouldn’t Willis be in the bed and his imaginary monster under it?”

Gahan Wilson (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 164 3

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Roz Chast (3/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 165 3

adjusts age bank brain captionless chast chips depicting doctors drawings due fax four heads history inside loss machines medicine memory middle one one’s roz science various ways wood 164983 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I made a bid for the Senate, but this is as far as I got.”

Frank Cotham (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 166 3

bar bars beggars campaign campaigning candidate civil cups down election elections general government men official out platform political politicians politics tin tramps two washington 164984 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting.”

Leo Cullum (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 167 3

accountants accounting board boss business businessmen chairmen cliche cliches cluster collar corporate employee employer employment executive executives expressions incompetents investigations language members occupation office one others play profession professional stupid stupidity two white word words work 164985 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oh, good. My complete sexual history is on tonight.”

Peter Steiner (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 168 3

bill broadcast clinton complete entertainment front general guide holding lewinsky living man monica president prime-time program programming room sex show showing shows talking television their tv wife 164986 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Sam Gross (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 169 3

and barnes bin book books bookstore bookstores coffee damaged food general latte ‘latte-damaged mega noble reads sale sales sign trend 164987 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mike Twohy (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 170 3

amateurs captionless casualty chefs chimneys cook cooks counter exhaust fans gets grill incompetents into kitchens over restaurants service short-order sucked suction vent vents 164988 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He’d rather be home by himself, staring into space. I can’t compete with that.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 171 3

affairs another city compete competition down fights general home husbands love marital marriage one relationships scenes staring street walking woman women 164989 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K., then. You may kiss, shake hands, and come out married.”

Michael Maslin (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 172 3

boxing ceremonies cliche cliches couple expressions fights language marital marriage marrying minister parody play prizefighters prizefights shake weddings word words 164990 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we’re all going to go in for elective surgery.”

Jack Ziegler (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 173 3

around cash children class dining dollar elective exchange family father finances financial health hospitals insurance journey middle money rate room surgery table trip vacation vacations 164991 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Son, can you spare a couple of minutes to talk about your tuition?”

Robert Weber (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 174 3

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“It’s no disgrace—somebody has to be plain vanilla.”

Charles Barsotti (3/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 175 3

analyst analyst’s butter cone couch cream depression disgrace esteem flavor flavors ice insecurity kind patient pecan plain psychiatrist psychiatrists psychiatry psychologists psychology road rocky self session some somebody therapist therapists therapy vanilla 164993 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Most of these pelts were suicides.”

Arnie Levin (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 176 3

animal clothing coat coats fashion fur pelts rights salesman shopper suicide woman women’s 165000 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Edward Koren (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 177 3

autos bus buses convertible education overtaken private public school sporty students voucher 165001 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is there a letter ‘t’?”

Mike Twohy (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 178 3

alphabet black cowboy cowboys executions game hanged hangman he’s humor letters playing ‘t’ thinks west word 165002 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Marisa Acocella (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 179 3

bag beggars cup fashion ‘fendi help lady’ matching ‘need people pleas pocketbooks reads rich scenes shoes sidewalk sign standing street tin woman 165003 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Christopher Weyant (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 180 3

ancient bolt cigar cigarettes cigars god laurel lightning lights matches myths smoke smoker smoking spectacles times wearing wreath zeus 165005 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He had himself pierced once too often.”

Frank Cotham (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 181 3

attend cliche cliches couple death earrings expressions friend funeral funerals language masochism often open-casket pierce pierced piercings play sado- word words 165006 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You know what? I’m sick of clothes. I decided to go for a window treatment instead.”

Peter Steiner (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 182 3

appearances attire boutique clothes clothing cocktail curtains dress events fashion gatherings incompetents introductions leisure looks mingling parties party sales shop shopping social socializing style treatment trend trendy wearing window woman women’s 165007 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Have I told you about my new belt?”

Richard Cline (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 183 3

appearances attire belts boutique clothes clothing cocktail events fashion gatherings introductions leisure looks man men’s mingling parties party sales shop shopping social socializing style trend trendy woman 165008 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Sorry to crash the party, folks, but all the little people that made it happen were just discovered buried in a shallow grave outside Bakersfield.”

Danny Shanahan (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 184 3

academy agents awards badges california ceremony cocktail crime death events flashing gatherings general grave hollywood interrupt introductions leisure little mingling murder parties party people police shallow social socializing speech speeches 165009 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“What do you think?”

George Booth (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 185 3

affection armchair booth clothing disgruntled domestic dresses elderly fashion flowers grass hair hats hawaii hula husband husbands lei love marriage marry matrimony newspaper reading relations relationships romance skirt skirts think wearing wife wives women’s 165010 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Gimme a break. Being driven out of Ireland was the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Leo Cullum (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 186 3

bar bars beer days disgruntled driven foreigners general immigrants irish man martinis olden out over patrick saint snake snakes talks 165011 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

John O’Brien (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 187 3

baby back board boss business but chairmen childrens cliche cliches collar comes corporate couch dad employee employer employment executives expressions family father going language life members modern near now occupation office parents play pregnant profession professional ‘right says sitting son stands stay-at-home unemployment when while white wife word words work 165016 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“My goodness, Marion. Our dishes are so spotless I can see deep within my hollow, tormented soul!”

J.C. Duffy (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 188 3

chores dishes domestic duffy examines freshly general hollow household housekeeping husbands kitchen man marriage plates dishes psychiatry psychology reflection relationship spotless washed 165012 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Michael Crawford (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 189 3

arrow arrows back crawford direct directing direction directions end fashion incompetents life michael model models modern road runway show signs tells trends turn women 165013 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Marie, are you still driving?”

Eldon Dedini (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 190 3

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“For God’s sake, how long’s that been there?”

Charles Barsotti (3/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 191 3

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“Believe me, with the Equalizer, here, you’ll never take any crap from an S.U.V. again.”

Robert Mankoff (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 192 3

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“I take it you want to go for a perp walk.”

Danny Shanahan (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 193 3

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“We’re going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies.”

Barbara Smaller (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 194 3

bees birds books children education father fathers general reading sex small son wife 165019 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If you ask me, the fire has the most potential, but it’s the smoke that has people talking.”

John Caldwell (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 195 3

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“Just take a seat, Mr. Bern. You’re acting as if you were the only one here who’s been shot.”

Mike Twohy (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 196 3

crime criminals dragged emergency guns himself hospitals into man medical murder receptionist room shot violence 165021 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out.”

George Booth (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 197 3

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“Somehow, in all the confusion, I aged.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 198 3

age aged another confusion middle middle-aged one woman 165023 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s all about the milk.”

James Stevenson (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 199 3

animals business businessman businessmen cliche cliches cows dairy domestic expressions farmer farms language looking milk play rural word words 165024 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“That’s just great. I discover the cure for the common cold and all you can do is criticize.”

Christopher Weyant (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 200 3

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“String quartets! Minor rhapsodies! Little symphonies!”

Jack Ziegler (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 201 3

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J.C. Duffy (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 202 3

ascot beer coffee duffy ‘for general introspection jacket liquor looking machine man mervyn mister mornings mr pipe psychology quiet rear smoking time view were 165027 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Your wife’s also asking that you rot in hell for eternity, but I think that’s negotiable.”

Michael Maslin (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 203 3

divorce eternity general hell lawyer lawyers man marriage negotiable office relationships rot 165028 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Sam Gross (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 204 3

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“Sorry, Dad, but it’s time to consider a retirement kingdom.”

Frank Cotham (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 205 3

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J.B. Handelsman (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 206 3

angel answers bedside just man maybe myself nobody not now only parchment prayer praying read says schmuck this tomorrow what when which will 165031 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“How much for a poster?”

Danny Shanahan (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 207 3

agencies agent casually consumerism dressed man posters prices travel 165032 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Charles Barsotti (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 208 3

beware dog dogs fear fears general image images insecurity mental near psychology says self sign signs standing thinking what 165033 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m just a simple man preceded by an inordinately complex reputation.”

Victoria Roberts (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 209 3

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Mick Stevens (3/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 210 3

accountant age blank cable channel computers general information ‘information-age interactive internal internet losers’ man mask mick monitor revenue service stevens taxes television tv video virtual watches welding work workmen 165035 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

James Stevenson (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 211 3

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“Can we move our lunch up to noon? I’ve got to be at City Hall by two to be arrested.”

Lee Lorenz (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 212 3

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“It’s the final four.”

James Stevenson (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 213 3

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“But that was long ago, before we dipped our bread in olive oil.”

Leo Cullum (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 214 3

another cuisine diner dining eat eating eats food foods language meals one restaurant restaurants service waiter waiters waitress waitresses 165039 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oh, definitely, I feel there’s a reason I was given a second chance.”

Charles Barsotti (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 215 3

catch caught cliche cliches death expressions fish fishing hook host language life line mouth one play show talk talking word words 165040 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Three wishes less commission.”

Edward Frascino (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 216 3

board boss business chairmen cliche cliches collar corporate desk employee employer employment executive executives expressions fairy language members money myths occupation office play profession professional white wish word words work 165041 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Maybe we should try visualization, Chief!”

Edward Koren (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 217 3

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“If you are still unhappy with your current allowance compensation, may I once more suggest to you a life of crime.”

Jack Ziegler (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 218 3

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“My name is Andrew, and I need a ride.”

Danny Shanahan (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 219 3

alcoholics anonymous car cars cliche cliches drive driving expressions group help introduction jargon language man medical meeting meetings others play support therapy word words 165044 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Leon, you are a millennial Odyssey.”

George Booth (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 220 3

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Bruce Eric Kaplan (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 221 3

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“No, this isn’t a book signing.”

Frank Cotham (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 222 3

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“There’s been a change in plans. Instead of Abilene, we’re going to Camelot.”

Sam Gross (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 223 3

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“May I remind you that we can always go with duck eggs.”

Mike Twohy (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 224 3

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“It would behoove you to remember that our passenger-side airbag has been disconnected.”

William Haefeli (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 225 3

accident airbags annoy annoyed autos car cars crash driver driving female front hurt injured injury mad male passenger relationships safety seat threat 165050 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Nick Downes (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 226 3

all bumper channel decals logo man ‘network over recliner sitting souvenir souvenirs sticker stickers surfing television tourism tourist’ travel traveler traveling tv vacation visit visited visitor watching 165051 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (4/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 227 3

age apartment appliances chast couple discovers fashioned furniture gap’ haven’t heard leaves life lost man modern offer road roz snacks ‘starbucks technology ‘the things tribe’ use 165052 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split.”

Mick Stevens (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 228 3

babies brokers cliche cliches expressions felt general kick language living man market play pregnancy reading room split stock stocks woman word words 165054 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Good evening. In today’s top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list.”

David Sipress (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 229 3

anchor’s authors bestseller book books broadcast correspondent general hears journalism list literature man manuscript media news newscast newscaster press programming publishers publishing report reporter reporting sales television tv watching writers writing 165055 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Please join me in welcoming and inflating our newest vice-president.”

Michael Maslin (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 230 3

beach beaches bicycle board boss business businessmen chairmen collar corporate deflated employee employer employment enters executive executives hierarchy holding incompetents inflatables management meetings members occupation office profession professional pump pumps room swimming toys welcome white work 165056 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“There’s no business deductions like show-business deductions.”

Leo Cullum (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 231 3

audit cinema cliche cliches deductions entertainment executives expressions filing film hollywood income internal irs language money motion movie movies picture plan play revenue service tax taxed taxes taxing theater their word words 165057 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Gahan Wilson (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 232 3

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Mort Gerberg (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 233 3

annuals basket centennials flowers garden gardening gardens -general greenhouse millennials millennium nurseries nursery perennials peruses plant saying seed shopping signs stores supply woman 165059 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Today, we will talk about your phony numbers. We will not talk about the I.R.S. having too many cooks!”

George Booth (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 234 3

agent audit audited being chefs cooks government income incompetents internal irs man numbers phony revenue service talk tax taxed taxes taxing 165060 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m a Schedule D kind of guy with a little Schedule E thrown in.”

Peter Steiner (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 235 3

date dating general government language man money play relationship relationships restaurant restaurants taxes woman word 165061 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it’s Jeannie.”

Michael Crawford (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 236 3

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“Hello? Risotto-crisis hot line?”

Liza Donnelly (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 237 3

cooking food general hotline husband incompetents italian kitchen looks pasta phone pot risotto stove telephones woman 165063 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“How is it gendered?”

Edward Koren (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 238 3

babies baby’s children city feminism gender gendered general hand holding kneeling language new play politics pushing scenes sex sexes street stroller talking woman word york 165064 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Do you even know how long it’s been since you last poked and prodded me?”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 239 3

animals cage cliche cliches complains doctors experiment expressions fights general lab language marital mice patients play rat relations relationship relationships research scientist scientists sex talking word words 165065 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Once more unto the breach, and that’s it for me.”

James Stevenson (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 240 3

age armor army battle breech cliche cliches dark enter expressions fight fighting henry language literary medieval play prepare quit quitter quitting retire shakespeare that’s times tired war warriors william word words 165066 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

PARK (1 of 4)

Artist

William Steig (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 241 3

artist’ artists families family general landscape painting park parks scenes steig watches william wst 165067 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

PARK (2 of 4)

William Steig (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 242 3

daughter daughters families father fathers general head house mother mothers park parks reptile reptiles scenes steig william wst zoos 165070 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

PARK (3 of 4)

“Which thing do I press?”

William Steig (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 243 3

cameras couple incompetents park parks passerby photo photographers photographs press scenes steig takes william wst 165069 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

PARK (4 of 4)

Mysterious Man Who Feeds the Pigeons

William Steig (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 244 3

bench benches birds dapper feeding ladies ‘mysterious park parks pigeons’ scenes sitting steig two watched william wst 165068 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is everything boring enough for you, sir?”

Lee Lorenz (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 245 3

armchairs bore bored boredom boring butler class club clubs group groups meetings members men men’s money opulence organizations people rich servant snoozing three upper waiter wealth wealthy 165071 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“So soon? But we’ve barely scratched the surface of our discontent.”

Robert Mankoff (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 246 3

argue arguing argument both breakups cliche cliches discontent dispute divorce expressions fight fighting fights hands home language leaves leaving literary man marital marriage play problems quarrel quarreling relationships scratched shakespeare she soon suitcases surface wives woman word words 165072 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I see jury selection has begun.”

Tom Cheney (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 247 3

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“ ‘Oprah’ is definite, Barnes & Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud.”

William Hamilton (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 248 3

argue author authors bestseller book books bookstore business debate editor feud fight fighting host literature manuscript marketing new publicist publicity publishers publishing show stores talk television winfrey writers writing 165074 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law, newspapers, periodicals, radio, television, all electronic media, and technologies yet to be invented.”

Arnie Levin (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 249 3

arrest arrested broadcast computers correspondent exploit exploitation exploited handcuffed internet inventions journalism man media miranda news newscast newscaster police policeman press privacy programming reporter reporting rights science street technological technology television tv 165075 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Let’s focus on what we do best—eating out.”

Richard Cline (4/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 250 3

awning best cafe eat fights focus food general man -marital marriage pass relationships restaurants street under woman 165053 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The Balkans. This is where I came in.”

Peter Steiner (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 251 3

age another bosnia club clubs first kosovo man men’s mens nation nationality nations one war world yugoslavia 165076 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Robert Mankoff (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 252 3

amadou behavior breaking button buttons city code cop cops courtesy diallo enforcement etiquette giuliani graces language law manners mayor new not nypd of officer police policeman policemen reading regional rude rudeness rudolph social thank wears york 165077 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You’ve got mail.”

Tom Cheney (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 253 3

age america another back caveman cavemen cliche cliches computers correspondence e-mail email expressions head hit internet language letter letters mail office one online play post postage postal postman rock rocks stone technology thrown word words 165078 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S.”

Mick Stevens (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 254 3

audit backyard deal government guy income internal irs men’s next people pool property revenue rich says service shirt shirts tax taxed taxes taxing wearing 165079 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This isn’t about you, Cheryl. In this crazy world your problems don’t amount to a hill of beans. This is about me.”

Leo Cullum (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 255 3

arrogance break-ups casablanca cliche cliches dating ego expressions fights general hill language love man marital movies play problem problems relationships restaurant restaurants scenes vanity woman word words 165080 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Why would He take someone so toned?”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 256 3

black burial cemeteries cemetery cliche cliches death expressions fitness funeral funerals god grave gravesite graveyard humor language lifters man mourning muscles play plot tomb tombstone toned wake weight woman word words 165081 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s been done, but I don’t think it’s been redone.”

Barbara Smaller (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 257 3

advertising another cinema directors done entertainment executive film hollywood incompetents marketing media meetings motion movie movies one picture producers redone screen theater writers 165082 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He’s run away to join the media circus.”

Robert Weber (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 258 3

bed boy’s broadcast children circus correspondent discover family father general journalism left little media mother news newscast newscaster note parents press programming reporter reporting room television tv worried 165083 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I told my parents that if grades were so important they should have paid for a smarter egg donor.”

Donald Reilly (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 259 3

another cards children donors egg families general genes girl grades important medical money one parents report school schools science teachers vitro 165084 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Mrs. Ritterhouse is getting harmonic tones on her G-string.”

George Booth (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 260 3

age cello cliche cliches concert entertainment expressions g-string harmonic instrument language lingerie man music musical musician musicians people performance piano play playing poor relationships singing song underwear woman word words 165085 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I took him for what he was worth, but it was all in utilities.”

Richard Cline (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 261 3

another brokers divorce down electric fashionable fuel market money one people power relationships rich shopping stock stocks street swank took utilities walk water woman 165086 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Have you ever wondered what would happen if a giant hair ball were to slam into the earth?”

Frank Cotham (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 262 3

alley animals another asteroids astronomy balls car cat cats comets earth full general hair looking meteors moon one talking top 165087 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“My people will have sex with your people.”

Peter Steiner (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 263 3

another building businessmen cliche cliches deal executives expressions female general group hierarchy intercourse language large lobby male management meet meetings merge merger play relations relationship relationships sex sexual word words 165088 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Does it hurt when my attorney does this?”

Danny Shanahan (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 264 3

chest court doctor doctors general hurt law laws lawsuits lawyers legal malpractice patient patients poke sue sued suing 165089 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 265 3

acme around dental dentists eight floss’ general hygeine long one orgies orgy parties party people semicircle sharing stand strand teeth 165090 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Harry Bliss (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 266 3

audit bible bliss catholic catholicism christ christian christianity commandments form forms glumly god harry income internal irs looks moses mount religion religious revenue say service sinai stone tablets tax taxed taxes taxing ten them which 165091 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“That’s where we differ. You’d eat cat food, but I wouldn’t touch dog food.”

Sidney Harris (4/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 267 3

animals cat cats counter cuisine differ dining dogs eat eating eats food foods insult insulting insults lunch meals restaurant restaurants sitting talking touch 165092 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You just don’t understand the demands of the marketplace.”

Leo Cullum (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 268 3

carrying coming consumerism fights front home husband issue late lounging marital marketplace money packages relationships shopper shopping store stores tv wife wives 165093 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Peter C. Vey (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 269 3

astronomy attention beyond celebration chopped cliche cliches day ‘earth environment expressions image jealous jealousy language liver moon orbit play self shown thinking vey what word words 165094 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“What’s your exit strategy?”

James Stevenson (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 270 3

break cell crime criminal criminals discussing escape exit jail kosovo men out plan plans prison prisoners strategy two yugoslavia 165095 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Of course, we can do spare and minimalist, but not on your budget.”

Barbara Smaller (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 271 3

advises architecture budget client decorate decorating decorators design designer furniture home house interior minimalist money rich spare style stylish 165096 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“So many indie films, so little time.”

Victoria Roberts (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 272 3

cliche cliches entertainment expressions general independent indie language man many movies play rain scenes street time umbrella umbrellas under walking woman word words 165097 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir, my mistake. That sign was meant for someone with a less expensive car.”

Pat Byrnes (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 273 3

after automobiles class exception general law laws man mistake money moving officer older opulence people police preferencial recants rich sign special stopping ticket traffic treatment upper violation violations wealth wealthy 165098 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“For my next encore, I would like to play another piece written specially for me.”

Gahan Wilson (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 274 3

arm arms casually concert deformity drapes encore hands keyboard music musicians mutant mutation over pianist pianists third tuxedo 165099 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Remember, you weren’t hired to think—you were hired because you have opposable thumbs.”

Charles Barsotti (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 275 3

animals board boss business businessmen chairmen chews collar corporate dog dogs employee employer employers employment executives general getting hierarchy human management members occupation office opposable out profession professional talking think thumbs too uppity white work workers 165100 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K. Just make sure no animals are harmed in the exploding-donkey scene.”

Mick Stevens (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 276 3

animal animals cruelty directors donkey donkeys executive exploding film harm hollywood movie movies new people peta producers production rights scriptwriters talks treatment 165101 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“First, I storyboarded it.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 277 3

advertising angels art artwork bible cloud direction director earth general god heaven human humans mankind movies one outline overlooking plan planning plans religilon stand storyboard storyboards 165102 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Miss Davis, bring me everything we’ve got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut.”

Robert Mankoff (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 278 3

board boss business businessman businessmen chairmen collar corporate desk employee employer employment executives general hole intercom jargon language members multinational occupation office pages profession professional receptionists secretary sits small wall white work workers 165103 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This is Fluffy, my pet money.”

Danny Shanahan (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 279 3

aquarium aquariums bills boy boys cash child childhood children dollar exchange filled finances financial general girl girls kid kids little money pets rate shows young youth 165104 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Are you starting to feel fabulous yet?”

Harry Bliss (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 280 3

age another average bar bars beatniks businessman businessmen chic cocktail cool crowd fabulous fashion fashionable feel feeling full general goatees hip hippies in lifestyle looking men middle models one parties party popular pretentious psychology start thin trend trendy 165105 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Remember how I said I was happiest when we had nothing?”

Leo Cullum (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 281 3

brokers coming fired firing happiness happy home husbands issue late man market marriage money nothing poor poverty relationship relationships returning stock stocks wife work 165106 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Marisa Acocella (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 282 3

acquisition acquisitions after balloon bed bedroom before cliche cliches corporate each expressions general head images language love lovemaking man man’s marriage mental merger over play relationship relationships says scenes sex sexual thought woman woman’s word words 165107 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Peter Steiner (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 283 3

beg beggars begging blind blindness boy carelessness children close cup cups eye eyesight general gun guns hour out panhandler panhandling poor ‘put read rules ‘sat sight signs ‘stared street sun sunglasses television their three tin too toys tv vision w alks 165108 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If it’s the I.R.S., tell them: Not a penny! Not a centime! Not a sou!”

George Booth (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 284 3

answers audit cash centime cliche cliches dollar exchange expressions finances financial frankenstein’s general government igor income internal irs lab language money monster monsters phone piano play playing rate relationships revenue service slab sou strapped tax taxed taxes taxing word words 165109 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 285 3

arrows autos cliche cliches employment expressions expressway freeway highways job jobs language mines play road salt says sign signs slang ‘the traffic word words work working 165110 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I try to eat right, but huge chunks of raw meat are all you can find these days.”

Peter C. Vey (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 286 3

age background bones cave caveman cavemen cro-magnon diet dieting discuss eat find fitness food foods huge hunks large meat men neanderthal nutrition prehistoric stone stone-age two 165111 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Cheer up, Nicole! What does Princeton know? Say, you got any plans for that last bit of cobbler?”

Michael Crawford (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 287 3

been brothers college console daughter depression dessert education empathy families father food incompetents inconsiderate just know manners pie poignance psychology rejected rejection rude rudeness sisters students sympathy tries university 165112 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“My daddy’s rich and my ma is good-lookin’, but I’m a mess.”

Robert Weber (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 288 3

bess busy children city down family fathers general girls good-lookin’ little lyrics mess mothers opera parents people play porgy problem problems relationships rich song street two walk word 165113 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Big Tony’s Web site—get rid of it.”

Peter Steiner (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 289 3

around boss collar .com computers crime criminals death gang gangster gangsters general hit hitman hitmen internet kill meeting meetings mob mobster mobsters order ordered orders organized out rub sitdown sites sitting table technology web whack white wide wipe world www 165114 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We wanted a design that would reflect how much money we have.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 290 3

architecture class design discusses friend general house houses huge issue money new opulence people pretentious reflect rich upper wealth wealthy woman 165115 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s just a correction. The fundamentals are still good.”

Bernard Schoenbaum (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 291 3

brokers card cards cliche cliches correction economy expressions father fundamentals grade grades language mark market marks money play reading report son stock stocks word words 165116 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I shall require many menservants.”

Frank Cotham (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 292 3

aristocrat butler butlers century days employment general manservant menservants office offices olden personnel require royalty servants workers 165117 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Money makes me get out of bed, but business puts me to sleep.”

Richard Cline (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 293 3

bed brokers businessmen cafe coffee drinking general man market meetings sleep sleeping stock stocks woman 165118 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Wunderkinder come and go, but old farts are forever.”

Lee Lorenz (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 294 3

businessman businessmen cliche cliches club clubs expressions farts forever general group groups language meetings members men’s mens one organizations others play sitting two word words wunderkind 165119 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Michael Maslin (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 295 3

affection bride ceremonies ceremony church cliche cliches domestic expressions fashion general groom hat language love marriage marry matrimony ‘no nuptial outside pants play policies policy propose reads relations relationships restaurants romance says shirt shoes sign signs summer suspenders top wearing wed wedding word words 165120 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“A lot of very smart grownups are working on the Year 2000 problem, Adam. You go on back to bed.”

Tom Chalkley (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 296 3

assuage bedtime boy bug children computers dad dreams family fear fears general grownups little millennium mom nightmares parents sleep smart stairs top try worries worry y2k 165207 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 297 3

bear bonds brokers bull cigarettes ‘cigars coming ‘crasherella crasherino dollar drawings economy finance four hedgerino investments market money names nyse recessitivo showing smoke smoking stock stocks stogie street unconfidento wall 165121 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You might want to review the chapter on unconditional love.”

William Haefeli (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 298 3

books chair child children corner discipline facing family general love mother out parent parenting parents punishing raise raising read reading rearing relationships review study time unconditional 165122 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Fortunately, you have the life savings of a man three times your age.”

Mort Gerberg (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 299 3

age cost doctor doctors fitness general hospital hospitals how investments life money much patient patients rich savings treatment wealth wealthy will 165123 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Omigod—that’s your dirty little secret? That you have a trust fund?”

William Hamilton (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 300 3

café class dirty family funds general little man money opulence outdoor parents people rich secret secrets sitting town trust upper wealth wealthy woman 165124 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Any fruits or veggies?”

Brian Savage (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 301 3

across asks atomic board border canada carrying contraband customs declare depletion energy environment fruit fruits goods guard nuclear officer perishables pollution tanker there toxic truck trucks vegetable vegetables waste 165125 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’re ecstatic about our new au pair.”

Edward Koren (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 302 3

another baby babysitter babysitters bird birds’ cliche cliches expressions feeds french gather general governesses language nest nests one parent play servants sitter while word words worm 165126 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“ ‘And so the crack-whore princess and her pimp lived happily ever after. The end.’ O.K., that’s it. Lights out.”

Jack Ziegler (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 303 3

and bedtime bottom bunk cell children cocaine crack drugs fairy finishes happily jail mate pimp pimps prisoner prisoners prisons prostitutes prostitution reading royalty stories story tales top whore 165127 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (4/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 304 3

asked bank because but call calling currency dates denominations euro find first general going great hate hates he how know make money much neuro neurosis not notes now official only out pensively pity psychologists right see series six social somehow sounds stands stupid telephone telephones the thinking this wednesday what woman worldwide 165128 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Forgive me, Eddie, if I’m unable to contain the occasional squeal of anticipatory glee over the new ‘Star Wars’ movie.”

Jack Ziegler (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 305 3

bars bartender cinema cult entertainment fiction film general glee hollywood man motion movie movies picture science squeal squeals star theater wars 165129 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 306 3

airborne cliche cliches d-day day expressions holiday holidays hundreds into invasion language m-day mom moms mother mother’s mothers parachute parachutes parachutists play small two village war word words world wwii 165130 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“In a further effort to ingratiate herself with New Yorkers, Hillary Clinton threw out the first pitch at last night’s Yankee game and went on to pitch three scoreless innings.”

Robert Mankoff (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 307 3

baseball couple day elections evening general ingratiate new news opening politician politicians politics regional report season senate senator sports television washington watches yankees york 165131 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ve decided to stand by another man for a while.”

J.P. Rini (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 308 3

affection argue arguing argument breakups bride ceremony cliche cliches dispute divorce domestic expressions fight fighting groom home husband language leaving love man marriage marry matrimony nuptial packed play problems propose quarrel quarreling relations relationships romance songs stand suitcases tammy wed wedding wives woman word words wynette 165132 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I want to get married, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sell any Amazon stock to do it.”

Richard Cline (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 309 3

affection bar bars bear bonds bride brokers bull ceremony .com computers cost discuss dollar domestic economy finance general groom internet investments love market marriage marry matrimony men money nuptial nyse propose relations relationships romance stock stocks street two wall web wed wedding 165133 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Give me one more chance, Rachel. I’ll go straight, and quit my lawyerin’ ways.”

Danny Shanahan (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 310 3

attorney attorneys cafe chance cliche cliches expressions general girlfriend language lawyer lawyerin’ lawyers love more one play relationships restaurants scenes word words 165134 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You know, Einstein never watched any great television until after he was forty.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 311 3

age albert bloomers discusses forty general late man middle phone scientists telephones television 165135 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s museum-store quality.”

Barbara Smaller (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 312 3

cliche cliches consumerism customer expressions general language merchandise museum museum-store museums play quality salesman shop shopping stores word words 165136 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“One thing about Earl—Earl knows when to fold.”

George Booth (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 313 3

backwards card cards chair continue cowboy cowboys death die fallen floor fold games general other out passed playing poker quit while 165137 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You should have called me sooner.”

Tom Cheney (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 314 3

animals beaches chairs deck door down exterminator exterminators garage general hole home homeowner homes house incompetents interiors mice mouse pool rodents soon sooner stare swimming tiny 165138 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Michael Crawford (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 315 3

clothing couch dress fashion father furniture interiors lamp lampshade later’ made newspaper one prom reading shades sits teen-agers ‘the under value waste week women’s 165139 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Special assignment, Chaswick. I need you to test our severance package.”

John Caldwell (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 316 3

assignment boss cliche cliches employee employers expressions fire firing hierarchy incompetents language management office package play severance test unemployment word words 165140 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Marisa Acocella (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 317 3

a-list ‘b-list car cliche cliches club clubs driving else everyone exit expressions freeway importance jargon lane lanes language line lines list overhead play reads road sign signs three-lane traffic vip which word words 165141 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 318 3

age apartments buy capitalism consumers couch couches couple furniture had its just make man marriage match meets new one refuse says sofa this try turbo-capitalism us we’ve woman years 165142 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Sex ...sex ...”

Bernard Schoenbaum (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 319 3

bedroom beg begging crawling crawls desert hands into intrecourse knees man marriage problems reading relationships rescue scenes sexual water where wife 165143 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Tell the public we don’t want to hurt anyone. All we want is their money.”

Frank Cotham (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 320 3

around board cash chairman crime criminals dollar exchange finances financial group hurt management money people rate room shady sunglasses table violence wearing 165144 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“They decided on separate weddings.”

Peter Steiner (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 321 3

affection alone another bride ceremonies ceremony cliche cliches domestic expressions front general groom incompetents language love marriage marry matrimony nuptial one play priest propose relations relationships romance separate standing vacations wed wedding weddings woman word words 165145 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Peter Mueller (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 322 3

birth gardener gardeners gardening gardens general ground kneels movies next plot prequel’ prequels small ‘spinach sprouts star stories story vegetable vegetables wars 165146 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Arnie Levin (5/10/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 323 3

animals balances before dog dogs fetching finally juggle juggles juggling little master’s mouth nose objects pets presenting slippers their them trick tricks tries 165147 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Sidney Harris (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 324 3

alta booths central commuters computers designated desk engines grand information infoseek internet metacrawler names representatives search station stations technology train vista web wide world yahoo 165148 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 325 3

american atom atomic atoms behind bomb china chinese counter eighties general government incompetents involving lunch menus military nineties nuclear other out passage peas reads restaurants scandal secrets sign snow special spiesrefers take technology ‘today’s washington weapons 165149 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And every time I start to get the least bit serious about a Republican he turns out to be a Log Cabin Republican.”

Michael Crawford (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 326 3

central dating gay homosexual homosexuals interested jogging log man men one park party politics relationships running scenes sex she’s three woman women 165150 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

John O’Brien (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 327 3

bathroom bathrooms convenience convenient crime efficiency efficient o parks police port port-o-san potty public urban 165151 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Obviously your cane is too long.”

Eldon Dedini (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 328 3

artists bowler canes dwarves fitness hat height henri lautrec man medical short small tall toulouse- 165152 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mort Gerberg (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 329 3

ads advertising baseball captionless consumerism equipment general getting goods highness horseback joust king knights majesty mediaeval medieval monarch monarchy ready regal royal royalty ruler sire sport their times various 165153 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I mean, hell, sure, Superman is cute, but Batman looks like he’s got money.”

William Hamilton (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 330 3

attraction attractive cute digger general girls gold kitchen mom money people rich sex sexual shallow superficial superhero superheroes television two watches watching 165154 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’ve been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he’s a man—would he ever ask directions?”

Peter Steiner (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 331 3

another bible crowd directions discussing following gender general israelites lost male men moses one religion sexes woman women 165155 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oh, we’ve been a theme restaurant for about a month now.”

Charles Barsotti (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 332 3

animal businessmen cavemen customer fashion general loincloth only restaurants skin theme trends waiter waiters wearing 165156 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You and I haven’t had an in-house date in a long, long, long time!”

George Booth (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 333 3

affection armchair dates dating domestic elderly general glowering husband love marriage marry matrimony people poor problems relations relationships romance scenes sits social speaks woman 165157 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The trick is in shucking them out of their shells.”

Gahan Wilson (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 334 3

automobiles car cars creature creatures desert eat eating family fiction food foods general giant holds insect insects inside lobsters look monsters panicked reversal role science shellfish shells shuck shucking van young 165158 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!”

Jack Ziegler (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 335 3

affection bride ceremonies ceremony death divorce domestic groom love marriage marry matrimony minister nuptial obstacles problems propose relations relationships romance starter wed wedding weddings 165159 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 336 3

airline airplane airplanes cargo cowboys cows farmers flying general herding life livestock modern plane planes regional steers west 165160 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“A table in Siberia, please.”

James Stevenson (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 337 3

cliche cliches couple cuisine dining expectations expressions general high host language location low play restaurant restaurants seating service tables waiters word words 165161 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I’m also your lawyer.”

Danny Shanahan (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 338 3

anubis attorney attorneys business businessmen cliche cliches desk dogs egypt expressions general gods hell into jackal-headed language law lawyers legal mythology office play shouts sits suit telephone telephones word words 165162 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Stuart Leeds (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 339 3

cab city company door feet general information lists measurements mile miles new reads sign taxi taxis useful york 165163 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Arnie Levin (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 340 3

appears boxes four gag gags general gift gifts joke packages present presents removes reveal ribbon ribbons single small square trick what woman wrapping 165164 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m expensive, but there are rebates, if you look for them.”

Victoria Roberts (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 341 3

back cocktail consumerism dating deal escort expensive flirtations hooker love man marriage money parties party people pickups prostitutes prostitution rebates relationships rich scenes sex shopping woman women 165165 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (5/17/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 342 3

alarmingly all along american ann anyway around astonishing beautiful betty big bone boss but can cannes’ chast check completely counter course ‘de-luxe’ did diner disagreement dream dreams end even everyone except father festival film find france french general go gorgeous grungy had happy have huge hungry incredibly it’s just like little looks lugging lunch-time meal mind missed movies must never night not ones only order other our out parents people perfect pick place platter reason relaxed riviera roz servicelast she showed sit some species still stipulation straightened strangest suitcases surrounded take them there there’s these this though three tickets time trip tuna us vacations wait walking was we’re we’ve well who’s wins woman won 165166 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And, in literary news, J. D. Salinger’s privacy has been violated once again by his appearance in this cartoon.”

Robert Mankoff (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 343 3

authors bestseller book books cartoons evening literature man manuscript new news privacy publ publishing salinger story television watches writers writing yorker 165168 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Same old same old.”

Lee Lorenz (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 344 3

cinema cliche cliches commenting couple entertainment expressions film hollywood language motion movie movies picture play sci-fi screen theater word words 165187 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We don’t need NATO. We need Tito.”

J.B. Handelsman (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 345 3

atlantic breakfast family five husband jackson kosovo marshal mediator music musician north organization paper problem problems reading table treaty trouble washington wife yugoslavia 165169 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Arnie Levin (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 346 3

acrobats artists because cellphone cellphones cellular circus connection incompetents miss one phone phones talking telephones them trapeze 165170 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I used to do it all myself, but now I have my lawyers handle it.”

Mick Stevens (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 347 3

another background bolts court fling general god guilt guilty handle heaven innocence innocent judge judicial juries jury law lawyers legal lightning mt olympus system three trial zeus 165171 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I feel we haven’t moved beyond parallel play.”

Barbara Smaller (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 348 3

after bed bedroom cliche cliches expressions having language man parallel play relationships scenes sex woman word words 165172 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Danny Shanahan (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 349 3

all bitch burial but cemeteries cemetery cinema cliche cliches death director’ directors emotion entertainment expressions film funeral funerals grave graveyard hollywood know language megaphone megaphones motion mourning movie movies need open party people picture play plot real says see some son standing still theater tomb tombstone wake was ‘we word words 165173 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I know these are things you don’t want to hear, but I’m enjoying the hell out of saying them.”

William Haefeli (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 350 3

affairs after communication discussion enjoy fights hand heart holds husbands initiating love man’s marital relationships say saying serious woman women 165174 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Gahan Wilson (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 351 3

affection bedraggled beggar beggars big bum bums cliche cliches cup expressions general great hobo hobos holds homeless homelessness hug hugs language love need panhandler passersby play poor poverty requesting sign signs tin tramp tramps word words 165175 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I love you, Ilene, O.K.? Get over it!”

Michael Crawford (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 352 3

bar bars business cliche cliches dating expressions fights flirtations general glasses horn-rimmed language love man marital over pickups play relationships scenes suit woman word words 165176 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Pushing the envelope. How about you?”

Peter Steiner (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 353 3

another carrier carriers carts cliche cliches envelope expressions government language letter letters mail management office one outside play post postage postal postman push word words 165177 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Can I borrow those kittens for an hour? I want to freak out the people who had me spayed.”

Sam Gross (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 354 3

animals babies baby cat cats child children fixed freak general kittens litter master mother neutered out owner owners pet pets pregnancy pregnant spayed surrounded talking 165178 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I hate getting all these Canadian coins, but I guess that’s the price of living in Toronto.”

Leo Cullum (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 355 3

another beggar beggars bum bums canada cash coins cups dollar exchange finances financial hobo hobos homeless homelessness money one poor poverty rate regional sidewalk standing tin tramp tramps 165179 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If you want to buy this, I’m afraid I’m going to need to see some justification.”

Frank Cotham (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 356 3

age automobiles buy car cars cause city cliche cliches customer dealer dealers expressions general huge insecurity justification justified justify language male men middle play psychology purchasing salesmen short showrooms sport station stores suv truck urban utility vehicle wagons word words 165180 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I have a spiritual side, but mostly I’m an eating machine.”

Charles Barsotti (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 357 3

animals another cliche cliches eat eating eats expressions fish food foods hunger language life machine marine meals natural nature ocean one play predator predatory religion religious sea shark sharks spiritual talking word words 165181 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly.”

George Booth (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 358 3

age biology chair chromosomes dna doctors flies front fruit general genes geriatrics insects lifespan man nurse nurses porch rocking science sitting telomeres 165182 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mike Twohy (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 359 3

accountants argue arguing argument attorneys balloon boy breakups children dispute divorce down fight fighting hand holding ‘jerome lawyers marriage mother’s problems quarrel quarreling reading reems relationships small street toys walks 165183 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It was a good rotting carcass, but it wasn’t a great rotting carcass.”

Tom Cheney (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 360 3

animals ate birds body branch cliche cliches dead death discuss expressions food good great just language play quality rotting talking two vultures word words 165184 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s National We’re History Month.”

Victoria Roberts (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 361 3

argue arguing argument armchair bags breakups cliche cliches dispute divorce expressions fight fighting fights good home husband language leaving marital marriage packed play problems quarrel quarreling relationships she’s tells wives woman word words 165185 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Just try to get one to answer a riddle after he’s won your hand in marriage.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (5/24/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 362 3

affection another answers bride castle ceremony domestic fairy groom love marriage marry matrimony medieval nuptial one outside princess propose relations relationships riddles romance royalty tales times wed wedding 165186 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“To be completely frank, we have now discovered all your country’s secrets, except how to make a million dollars in one’s spare time at home with no personal investment.”

James Stevenson (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 363 3

business china chinese diplomat get government information intelligence nation national politics quick rich secret secrets security spare spies spy spying talking time work 165189 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 364 3

bear billy bonds brokers bull certificates children computers dollar economy finance floor general ground internet investments jimmy’s lemonade market money nyse reading recent refers selling share sign stand stock stocks street technological technology two type wall 165190 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 365 3

bolts corporation dog dogs fire general hydrant hydrants inventions life mechanical modern nuts pets robot robots sony sony-type technology urinates urinating urination urine 165191 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I am the Lady of the Lake, and because thou hast defiled my crystal waters I must hence smite thee. That or penalize thee a stroke. Your call.”

Pat Byrnes (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 366 3

arthur camelot chastises course defiled golf golfer golfing king knights medieval myths penalize pond rises smite times 165192 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“An olive or a twist?”

Nick Downes (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 367 3

age art artist body born chest cliche cliches drink drinking drinks expressions fruit getting language man martini martinis middle middle-aged olives play reading tattoo tattoos twist word words 165193 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We didn’t have time to pick up a bottle of wine, but this is what we would have spent.”

Mike Twohy (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 368 3

cocktail couple drink drinking drinks general gift gifts guest guests hands hosts money parties party spending spent time wine wines 165194 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Right now I’m between drinks.”

Danny Shanahan (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 369 3

bar barroom bars bartender beer between booze cliche cliches divorce drinking drinks expressions flirtations general house language love man marriage pickups play pub public scenes tavern woman word words 165195 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“All I’m getting out of him is a lot of profanity.”

Frank Cotham (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 370 3

curse cursing cuss cussing dirty dungeon filth filthy hot informaiton language manacled medieval musketeer poker prisoner profanity times torture torturer wall words 165196 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Yeah, I’m alone.”

Charles Barsotti (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 371 3

alone cellphone cellphones cellular cowboy cowboys desert loneliness lonely phone regional talking telephone telephones western 165197 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“How do we tell the kids that we’re edible again?”

Donald Reilly (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 372 3

animals another anxious anymore bass children city commercial contaminated cuisine eat eating eats ecology edible family fish fishing food foods hudson meals misc new not now one open pcb’s pollution river sport striped talking york 165198 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Joseph Farris (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 373 3

architecture army comes general generals government home house houses military official pentagon pentagon-shaped 165199 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Have some respect for my learning style.”

Barbara Smaller (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 374 3

boy children distraction does education family general homework learn learning mother mothers off parents remote school schools small style stylish teachers television turns tv work 165200 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You have a serious illness of an undisclosed nature.”

Leo Cullum (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 375 3

death desk doctor doctors illness language office often patient patients play refers secret secretive serious sitting term undisclosed used word 165201 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Boy, I’d love to meet you sometime off leash.”

Mort Gerberg (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 376 3

animals attraction attractive best canines chase cliche cliches dog doggie dogs expressions female flirt flirting friend general heat hit hitting intercourse language leashes male man's mate mating on pet pets play pooch puppies puppy sex sexual spaniel talking walking word words 165202 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’d like to take a moment to define what I mean by ‘defining moment.’ ”

David Sipress (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 377 3

bill cliche cliches clinton congress define ‘defining definition expressions house impeachment language member play pres representatives speeches washington word words 165203 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Well, actually, they are written in stone.”

Harry Bliss (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 378 3

ba’el background bible calf carnal cliche cliches commandments debauching expressions finds god golden jews language law laws moses orgies orgy play pleasure pleasures religion religious stone ten themselves variations word words written 165204 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 379 3

arrive basket before blood cooler cooper dna entering events fake fakes family fraud gatherings genes genetics grounds hennings identification imposter imposters jefferson leisure medicine mingling parties party picnic picnics reads required reunion reunions sally sign social socializing tests thomas toting verification 165205 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (5/31/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 380 3

animals cat cats costume disguise disney ears front general hat hole mice mickey mouse predator trap trick waits walt wearing 165206 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Sam Gross (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 381 3

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Mick Stevens (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 382 3

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“Hard to tell from here. Could be buzzards. Could be grief counsellors.”

Tom Cheney (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 383 3

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“Would you explain to your son that there’s no free agency in T-ball?”

Harry Bliss (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 384 3

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“What ever happened to ‘Never go to bed angry’?”

Victoria Roberts (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 385 3

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“There’ll be a slight delay. The chef ’s been attacked by a blue jay.”

Charles Barsotti (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 386 3

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Lee Lorenz (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 387 3

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“Who does your water?”

Richard Cline (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 388 3

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“I know, and it’s not just me—my whole family has been smug for hundreds of years.”

William Hamilton (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 389 3

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“That’s not you talking, Justin, that’s the sugar talking.”

Barbara Smaller (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 390 3

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John O’Brien (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 391 3

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“ ‘Over there,over there ...’”

Robert Weber (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 392 3

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Peter Porges (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 393 3

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“Beuford was too old for a sexual frenzy.”

George Booth (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 394 3

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“It was right here in this park, Jamie, that I was inspired to become an attorney, when Vinnie Maroney beat me to a pulp.”

Leo Cullum (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 395 3

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“Who’s that trip-tripping, woefully underinsured, over my bridge?”

Danny Shanahan (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 396 3

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“To hell with you, too.”

Frank Cotham (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 397 3

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“In the old days, we weren’t old.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 398 3

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“I’m a gladiator, but that’s just to put food on the table. What I really want to do is teach.”

Michael Maslin (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 399 3

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Peter C. Vey (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 400 3

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“I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god.”

Mike Twohy (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 401 3

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Roz Chast (6/7/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 402 3

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“You know, if she weren’t part of a well-regulated militia I’d be a little nervous.”

Robert Mankoff (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 403 3

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“A lot of you used to know us as the L.A. Punksters. Then for a while we were the Rappin’ Rapmen. Now we call ourselves Los Latinos del Momento.”

Jack Ziegler (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 404 3

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“Forget about me—save Social Security.”

Robert Weber (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 405 3

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“Mother’s ninety-one and still depreciating.”

William Hamilton (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 406 3

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“He’s very well off. He’s got all the quantities I admire.”

Frank Cotham (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 407 3

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Al Ross (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 408 3

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“Oh, he’s cute, all right, but he’s got the temperament of a car alarm.”

Barbara Smaller (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 409 3

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Roz Chast (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 410 3

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“Memo to self: ‘Feathers?’ ”

Danny Shanahan (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 411 3

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“It says, ‘All photographic-reproduction rights reserved by National Geographic Society.’ ”

Donald Reilly (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 412 3

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Matthew Diffee (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 413 3

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“Todd has been an eager participant in our sex-education program.”

Robert Weber (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 414 3

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“I came, I bought, I subdivided.”

Michael Maslin (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 415 3

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“Wow! Whose idea was the cheese log?”

Peter Steiner (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 416 3

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“Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays.”

Mike Twohy (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 417 3

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“In reply to your inquiry regarding the Burke garden hoe, please visit our Worldwide Web home page at: http://www.burke1903.com.”

George Booth (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 418 3

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“I think I’ve acquired some wisdom over the years, but there doesn’t seem to be much demand for it.”

J.B. Handelsman (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 419 3

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“Gee, Al, two thousand dollars doesn’t buy much of a sex change these days, does it?”

Jack Ziegler (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 420 3

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“Oh, for heaven’s sake, don’t feel that you have to entertain us, too.”

Charles Barsotti (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 421 3

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“Somehow or other he keeps spotting us!”

Gahan Wilson (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 422 3

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Mick Stevens (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 423 3

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Frank Cotham (6/14/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 424 3

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“That’s Stanley. Stanley once saw Beatrix Potter naked.”

Sam Gross (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 425 3

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“Perhaps we should provide for the separation of state and entertainment.”

Frank Cotham (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 426 3

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“Is there a doctor of literature in the house?”

Michael Maslin (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 427 3

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Tom Cheney (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 428 3

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“How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?”

Michael Crawford (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 429 3

art artist artistic artwork bake bakery baking chef chefs cook cooking cuisine culinary food general gnocchi high italian kitchen pasta preparing restaurant restaurants three visionary 165256 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Well, I’ll be darned. There’s a really nice hardwood floor under here.”

Peter Mueller (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 430 3

cliche cliches digging expressions floors flowers gardening gardens general grass hardwood holding incompetents into language lawn man plant planting play potted shovel woman word words yard 165257 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Why is it that every time I say something in quotation marks you respond in italics?”

William Haefeli (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 431 3

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Mick Stevens (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 432 3

books bookstore bookstores boxes features filled incomplete library literary manuscripts notebooks progress section titled unfinished works writers 165259 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Congratulations! Your manuscript was the one-millionth personal memoir submitted to us this year.”

David Sipress (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 433 3

apartment authors bestseller biography book books building letters literature mailboxes man manuscript memoirs millionth one publishers publishing rejection win winner woman won writers writing 165260 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I think they’ll be perfect together. He’s a journalist and she’s a complete composite.”

William Hamilton (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 434 3

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“You couldn’t put on a tie?”

Pat Byrnes (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 435 3

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“Truly a magnificent emperor! While Rome burns, Nero plays an instrument that hasn’t been invented yet.”

J.B. Handelsman (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 436 3

ancient another book books concert emperor empire entertainment flames goies history instrument invention inventions literature music musical musician one performance roman romans rome singing song toga violin violins 165263 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me.”

Jack Ziegler (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 437 3

affection authors bestseller book books computer domestic doorway general husbands leaning literature love man manuscript marriage married matrimony novels older publishers publishing relations relationships romance unpublished wife writers writing 165264 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Christopher Weyant (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 438 3

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“Thanks for almost everything, Dad.”

Danny Shanahan (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 439 3

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“Mr. Goodrich, it’s time we called each other by our first names.”

George Booth (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 440 3

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“What would you boys think if we started selling books?”

Peter Steiner (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 441 3

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“What am I supposed to say when my friends ask why you’re still a mid-list author?”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 442 3

authors best-seller bestseller book books daughter failure general incompetents insecurity lists literature living manuscript mid-list mother mothers peer peers pressure problems publishing room say social writers writing 165269 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

John O’Brien (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 443 3

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Sidney Harris (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 444 3

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“Do you have ‘Intelligence for Idiots’?”

Robert Mankoff (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 445 3

authors bestseller book books bookstore bookstores brains clerk counter dumb-looking dummies dummiesrefers guy hopefully how-to idiots’ intellect ‘intelligence literature manuscript publishing series simplified smart writers writing 165272 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we’re rather picky.”

Robert Weber (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 446 3

arrogant author authors bestseller book books choosey discusses editor general literature manuscript masterpiece picky pretentious publishers publishing rejection rejections writers writing 165273 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’ve always admired those literate prayers of yours, and it’s our hope that you’ll keep them coming even though you’re dead.”

J.B. Handelsman (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 447 3

admire afterlife angel angels articulate catholic catholicism christ christian christianity dead death gates halo heaven into keep literary man pearly peter pray prayer religion religious welcoming wings 165274 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Here it is—the plain, unvarnished truth. Varnish it.”

Richard Cline (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 448 3

advertising another board boss business businessmen chairmen cliche cliches collar corporate cover-up employee employer employment ethics executive executives expressions general honest honesty language lawyers management members occupation office one play profession professional public relations spin truth white word words work 165275 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“So that’s how he’s able to crank the stuff out.”

Sam Gross (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 449 3

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“Is there anyone else in bookkeeping who would like one last picture with Mr. Pinkston?”

Frank Cotham (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 450 3

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“And I’d recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy.”

Danny Shanahan (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 451 3

books class classroom education elementary general girl pupil reads rebate report school schoolroom schools student students teach teachers teaching toys 165282 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You may rush in.”

Leo Cullum (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 452 3

briefcase businessmen cliche cliches court desk elvis expressions fool fools general hat jester jester’s jesters language medieval men multi-pronged play presley reception royalty song songs times wise word words 165278 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This is gonna hurt like hell.”

Harry Bliss (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 453 3

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“I thought that sperm-bank donors remained anonymous.”

Nick Downes (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 454 3

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“Not that it really matters, but how will this play out among the serfs?”

James Stevenson (6/21/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 455 3

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“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Never mind.”

David Sipress (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 456 3

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Edward Frascino (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 457 3

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“Fortunately, I think we have an extremely accurate copy of it in the museum’s gift shop.”

Gahan Wilson (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 458 3

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“I’m thinking of doing Pamplona this year.”

Arnie Levin (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 459 3

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Donald Reilly (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 460 3

buzz ‘chamber cliche cliches commerce expressions general language outside play public reads relations sign signs word words 165290 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K., so who gets to tell him he’s a war criminal?”

Tom Cheney (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 461 3

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Roz Chast (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 462 3

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“I see myself going into some form of public service, like banking.”

Robert Weber (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 463 3

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“It’s eBay fever—we’ll have to pull the plug!”

Lee Lorenz (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 464 3

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“Gee, I had no idea you were married to a supermodel.”

Michael Maslin (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 465 3

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“I believe we’ve entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership.”

Frank Cotham (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 466 3

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“I always end up being attracted to the ones who wear cheap insect repellent.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 467 3

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“I’m bored. When do we get to kill the ump?”

Ed Fisher (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 468 3

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Danny Shanahan (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 469 3

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“Your father and I have decided to give half your allowance to BAM.”

Victoria Roberts (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 470 3

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“Actually, ‘Monkey see, monkey do’ has served me quite well in this market.”

Leo Cullum (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 471 3

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“I got the part, but I play a waiter.”

Mick Stevens (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 472 3

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“The dog ate my magnetic insoles.”

George Booth (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 473 3

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Sam Gross (7/5/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 474 3

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“Sorry, but I don’t do stitches anymore. All stitches are now handled by Local 405 over at Bellevue.”

Jack Ziegler (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 475 3

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Michael Crawford (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 476 3

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Mick Stevens (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 477 3

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“Maybe if we put stone statues in their place, no one will notice that they’ve flown away.”

Gahan Wilson (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 478 3

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“I can’t help thinking of the lyrics to that old song: ‘I want to sex you up.’ ”

Pat Byrnes (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 479 3

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“He’s dead. Would you like his voice mail?”

David Sipress (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 480 3

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“I’d love to ask you in, Howard, but they start trading in Hong Kong in ten minutes.”

Lee Lorenz (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 481 3

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“Consider yourself chased.”

Charles Barsotti (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 482 3

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“Look, there is no right and wrong here, but I’m going to side with Helen because I’m a girl.”

Robert Mankoff (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 483 3

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Mort Gerberg (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 484 3

access accounts am another bank banking banks bear beggar beggars bonds brokers bull bum bums but captionless cup deposits dollar economy exercised finance finances for hat hobo hobos holds homeless homelessness investments man market money months my nyse officer options out passersby people poor poverty rich savings saying sign stock stocks street teller tin tramp tramps unable wall wealth wears 165314 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Don’t sweat it. That’s Little League—your dad comes, you choke.”

Michael Crawford (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 485 3

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“Just where Dad said it would be.”

Donald Reilly (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 486 3

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“ ‘Well done’ lulled him into complacency.”

George Booth (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 487 3

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Christopher Weyant (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 488 3

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“Something’s wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified.”

J.B. Handelsman (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 489 3

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“His underwear was spotless.”

Danny Shanahan (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 490 3

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“I hope you realize that I’m the one who has to write about this stupid vacation next fall.”

Peter Steiner (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 491 3

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“So what if he doesn’t know Ovid. He knows Ovitz.”

Marisa Acocella (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 492 3

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“When I look at you, I see more than just a cat—I see the rewards of a conscientiously applied program of dental hygiene.”

Michael Maslin (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 493 3

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“He doesn’t have to worry about his preschool placement— he interviews well.”

Barbara Smaller (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 494 3

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“I’m afraid you’ll never know if this was for the speeding or for the Celine Dion tape, sir.”

J.C. Duffy (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 495 3

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“This is perfect. I could stay like this for the next five seconds.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (7/12/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 496 3

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“Jason, I’d like to let you play, but soccer is a girls’ game.”

Christopher Weyant (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 497 3

boy cup games gender girl girl’s girls’ little olympic olympics play sex sexes sexism sexist soccer sports team uniform women world 165327 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 498 3

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“It’s supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn’t done jack for me.”

Mick Stevens (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 499 3

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“Very scary, Jennifer—does anyone else have an H.M.O. horror story?”

Nick Downes (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 500 3

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Paul Karasik (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 501 3

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“Would you like to meet Kate? She’s an acceptable risk.”

Edward Koren (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 502 3

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“I tried victimless crime, but I’m a people person.”

Leo Cullum (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 503 3

another bar cliche cliches crime criminal criminals crook expressions hold holdups language mug mugger mugging murder murderer one people play rob robber robbery thief thieves up victimless victims white-collar word words 165333 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This résumé appears to cover only the last forty-five minutes.”

David Sipress (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 504 3

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“Only I can prevent forest fires? Don’t you think you should share some of the responsibility?”

Michael Maslin (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 505 3

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“It’s happened, Marge. Howard has the bomb.”

Robert Weber (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 506 3

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“I suppose it was very sweet and old-fashioned of him, but, still, it was syphilis.”

Danny Shanahan (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 507 3

affairs couch disease diseases drinking love old-fashioned older relationships sex sexual sexually std sweet syphilis tea coffee transmitted vd venereal woman women younger 165337 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I have a food question.”

Michael Crawford (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 508 3

business businessmen cuisine dining eat eating eats food foods general language meals men one questions restaurant restaurants service talking three waiter waiters waitress waitresses 165338 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You bludgeoned your cell mate during chapel services, Rhineschreiber! Shame on you!”

George Booth (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 509 3

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“Eight years of unprecedented expansion, and yet the kid sector has failed to participate.”

Lee Lorenz (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 510 3

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“Hey, great ab!”

Peter Steiner (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 511 3

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Jack Ziegler (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 512 3

at beach beaches cliche cliches cut expressions hair hairdo hairstyle language like man’s miniature people play rides surf surfer surfers surfing swimming wave word words 165342 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 513 3

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Roz Chast (7/19/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 514 3

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“First beach?”

Danny Shanahan (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 515 3

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“Don’t get me wrong. I think the morning-after pill is great. It’s just that right now my problem is lining up something for the night before.”

Marisa Acocella (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 516 3

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Jack Ziegler (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 517 3

bar barroom bars bartender beer booze cliche cliches critics drinking drunks expressions general hangover hangovers house language liquor man passes play pub public restaurants reviews saloon side sign tavern theatre west what window word words wow 165346 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism.”

Peter C. Vey (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 518 3

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Alex Gregory (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 519 3

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“I put the bird to bed—let’s party!”

Victoria Roberts (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 520 3

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“Two lousy weeks. You people can surely make do for two lousy weeks.”

Charles Barsotti (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 521 3

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“We’re thinking of moving to another part of the country— somewhere between Lyme disease and killer bees.”

William Haefeli (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 522 3

bees estate gardeners gardening gardens general hedge insects moving over real talking ticks while women 165351 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Whom should I say is calling?”

Sam Gross (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 523 3

animal animals bird birds call calling cat cats cliche cliches doormen expressions general hole language mice mouse near office pet pets play receptionists stand telephones wall word words workers 165352 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Good news. The test results show it’s a metaphor.”

Leo Cullum (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 524 3

back betray betrayal betrayed businessmen cliche cliches doctor doctor’s doctors examination executives expressions fitness general get health knife language m.d. man medical metaphors nurse office patients physician play soon stab stabbing tests well word words 165353 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Harry Bliss (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 525 3

blanket estate farmers few garage general items junk man next outside owns people poor reads sale sales shack sign signs what whit yard 165354 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I may run, but first I want to toy with the electorate for a while.”

Peter Steiner (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 526 3

being campaign campaigning campaigns candidate civil college election ethics government interviewed media news official platform political politicians politics polls show talk television votes washington 165355 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Christopher Weyant (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 527 3

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“All outdoor carpeting can be indoor carpeting, but not all indoor carpeting can be outdoor carpeting.”

Michael Maslin (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 528 3

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Gahan Wilson (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 529 3

burial business call captionless cemetery cliche cliches cobweb cop cops death detective enforcement enter expressions filled general grave graveyard hold important incompetents language law man nypd office officer play plot police policeman policemen remains skeletal skeletons technology telephones tomb tombstone us word words 165358 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I really don’t see how giving you a six-letter word for a sixteenth-century crested metal helmet helps my problem.”

J.C. Duffy (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 530 3

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“It’s the co-op board!”

Nick Downes (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 531 3

angry apartment apartments board building co-op dr estate flat frankenstein home homes house igor lynch mob monster monsters outside real rent 165360 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Arnie Levin (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 532 3

board business corporate cubicles employees employment form game games general o occupation office offices profession professional ’s symbol symbolic symbols tac tic toe work x 165361 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I wish you’d stop trying to gross everybody out.”

Frank Cotham (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 533 3

age another cave cavemen childishness dinosaurs disgust disgusting eat eaten eating eats food foods general gross man mouth opening play playing show stone them two 165362 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Y’all look like dog people to me.”

Danny Shanahan (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 534 3

abducted abduction alien aliens animals being best canines cat cats creatures dog doggie dogs examining feline felines fiction friend general looked man's outer people pet pets pooch puppies puppy science space table talking travel 165363 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Stop calling! We’ll get there when we get there!”

Lee Lorenz (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 535 3

automobiles back cellphone cellphones cellular child children general parents phone seat sport sport-utility station talk technology telephones travel traveling utility vacations vehicle vehicles wagons 165364 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 536 3

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“Just for kicks, Leon, let’s shut down the F.B.I. again.”

George Booth (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 537 3

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“You should find solace in the fact that he left behind such a large body of nuts.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 538 3

another artists burial cash cemetery composers death dollar exchange finances financial funeral general grave graveyard inheritance money mourning nuts one people plot rate rich solace songwriters squirrel squirrels tomb tombstone wake wills writers 165367 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

John O’Brien (7/26/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 539 3

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“I take it we got the account.”

Marisa Acocella (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 540 3

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“Don’t waste time on Daddy. Mummy’s the money.”

William Hamilton (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 541 3

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“I can’t help thinking there’s a book in this.”

Mick Stevens (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 542 3

adam bible books eden eve garden general genesis nude old publishing religion testament think thinking tree under writing 165371 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Remember to round off each billable hour to the nearest week.”

Leo Cullum (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 543 3

accountants billable boss business cliche cliches employee estimate estimation ethics executives expressions fees greed language lawyers math mathematics meets money off play round word words 165372 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I assume it’s a different Rudy.”

James Stevenson (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 544 3

called city consumerism couple crackdown different district establishment general giuliani giuliani’s light look manhattan mayor neighborhoods new nyc porn pornographatoriums pornography red refers regional rudolph rudy’s sex signs square store stores tawdry times urban xxx york 165373 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Harry Bliss (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 545 3

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“We’re planning on sending him away to be reared by experts.”

Barbara Smaller (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 546 3

bassinet child childhood children clasped education experts families family guest hands kids over parent parenting parents plan planning proud reared rearing send sending speaks stand woman 165375 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I understood each and every word you said but not the order in which they appeared.”

William Haefeli (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 547 3

almost cliche cliches cocktail expressions identical-looking language look-alikes men order parties party play talk two understand understood word words 165376 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“They have no lives, so they watch us.”

Donald Reilly (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 548 3

animals boat cape general humpback life lives nature ships tourists two underneath watch whale whales 165377 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Look, I can’t promise I’ll change, but I can promise I’ll pretend to change.”

Robert Mankoff (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 549 3

adultery change dinner discussion fake fights general have heavy impersonate left man marital marriage over pretend relationship relationships restaurants their woman 165378 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He has some food issues.”

Robert Weber (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 550 3

babies behavior chair children discipline eat eating everywhere father food general habits high hurl infant issues kitchen mother son stand their watching 165379 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I like things to be done my own particular way by someone other than me.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 551 3

business desk executive executives general older own particular phone telephones way 165380 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Edward Koren (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 552 3

animals automobiles autos back best bumper canines captionless car cars classroom cliche cliches curtis dog doggie dogs drive driving education elementary expressions friend general honor language man's obedience pet pets pickup play pooch pupil puppies puppy reads roll school schoolroom sticker stickers student students teach teachers teaching truck word words 165381 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“For a transcript of tonight’s ‘Hollywood Squares,’ send two dollars and a self-addressed, stamped envelope to this address.”

Michael Maslin (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 553 3

down entertainment game ‘hollywood intently letters man notes shows television transcript tv watching 165382 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You look sharp, like a carefully aged Cheddar.”

Victoria Roberts (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 554 3

age appearances attire boutique cheese cliche cliches clothes clothing dining elevator elevators expressions fashion flirtations food high language looks love man middle middle-aged pickups play relationships sales says scenes sharp shop shopping style trend trendy woman word words 165383 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He thinks he’s located a World War I torpedo boat. What’s exciting at your house?”

George Booth (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 555 3

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“Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I’ll get you a menu.”

Charles Barsotti (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 556 3

accidentally bible brings cuisine dining eat eating eats food foods god law laws man meals menu religion restaurant restaurants service waiter waiters waitress waitresses 165385 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (8/2/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 557 3

amendment association captionless chast firearms for gun guns handguns license licenses n.r.a’s national pistol revolver rifle rifles roz ’s second test tests the violence weaponry weapons written 165386 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Where were you when you realized there was nothing else to say?”

R.J. Matson (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 558 3

broadcast cliche cliches commentators communications correspondent crash discuss end expressions john journalism jr kennedy language media news newscast newscaster plane play press programming reporter reporting said say saying story television tragedy tv word words 165387 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life.”

Leo Cullum (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 559 3

another bar bars beer cliche cliches drinking expressions fishing general language one play sayings sitting word words 165388 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Let me through. I’m a compassionate conservative.”

Mick Stevens (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 560 3

accident accidents briefcase bush bush’s campaigns cliche cliches doctor elections enters expressions george gov language man medical parties party play political politicians politics refers republican republicans scene self-description street suit washi ngton word words 165389 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“City kids.”

Harry Bliss (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 561 3

adults apartment apartments available beach beaches building buildings castle-apartment comment ‘efficiencies estate flat home homes house real rent sand sandcastles says sign swimming two urban vacation walking 165390 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

J.C. Duffy (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 562 3

architecture cat cats duffy feet general hole incompetents leg man’s mice mouse mousehole out sees shoes sticking 165391 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You know what I like about power? It’s so damn empowering.”

Robert Mankoff (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 563 3

another arrogance cliche cliches ego empowering expressions language like office one play political politician politics power washington word words 165392 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K., so maybe a little static electricity isn’t helping our marriage—but it isn’t hurting it, either.”

Michael Maslin (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 564 3

before cliche cliches couple electricity emanating expressions feeling fights general help hurt kneel language marital marriage married play reception screen signal static television tv word words 165393 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Before we continue, is there anyone else present who has never seen a dead person?”

Frank Cotham (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 565 3

black body burial cemetery dead death funeral funerals grave graveyard humor invites mourners mourning open-casket pastor person plot see service tomb tombstone view wake 165394 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I don’t buy stocks simply because others are buying them. I buy them because many, many others are buying them.”

Richard Cline (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 566 3

ascend bear bonds brokers bull buy consumerism dollar economy elaborate finance investments man many market money nyse people rich staircase stock stocks street upper-class wall woman 165395 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Yes, but take away the rodent droppings and the occasional shard of glass, and you’ve still got a damn fine product.”

Jack Ziegler (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 567 3

company condemned department executives food foods general glass health media mice microphone product public rats relations rodents spokesman 165396 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And, Cath—even if you say no, I want you to know that you’ll always be the template.”

William Hamilton (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 568 3

affection bride ceremony cliche cliches couch domestic expressions front glasses groom knees language love man marriage marry matrimony nuptial play proposals propose proposesitting proposing prototype relations relationships romance template wed wedding where woman word words 165397 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Gentlemen, it’s time we gave some serious thought to the effects of global warming.”

Mick Stevens (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 569 3

campaign campaigning candidate civil election environment flooded floods global government incompetents office official officials platform political politicians politics pollution president serious thought warming washington water 165398 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I only sniffed his ass to be polite.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 570 3

adultery affair another ass behavior cheat cheating code courtesy dog dogs etiquette explain explaining explanation extramarital fights general graces infidelity kiss kissing manners marital noses of one polite rude rudeness schmoozing sniff sniffing social 165399 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Christopher Weyant (8/9/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 571 3

armor ball beach beaches cancer holds knight knights lotions man oil protection rating rays reads refers ‘s s.p.f. scale skin suit sun sunbathing sunscreen suntan swimming tan title ultraviolet uv 165400 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He’s swearing in full sentences now.”

Pat Byrnes (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 572 3

bench benches ccuss child children curse cursing cussing family foul general language mothers nearby one’s parent parenting parents park proud rearing sentence speaking speech swear swearing talking toddler two women word words 165401 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I know he cheated on me because of his childhood abuse, but I shot him because of mine.”

Robert Mankoff (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 573 3

abuse actions adultery affair cheat cheating child court courthouse courtroom explains extramarital family fights guilt guilty guns infidelity innocence innocent judge judicial juries jury law lawyers legal marital murder obstacles problems scenes stand sy stem trial violence witness woman 165402 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I heard he came into money and moved to a portobello.”

Mike Twohy (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 574 3

another apartment apartments building class elves estate flat food foods gnome gnomes home homes house ireland leprechaun money mushroom mushrooms myths one opulence outside real regional rent rich sitting their toadstool toadstools upper wealth wealthy 165403 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

David Sipress (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 575 3

bear beggar beggars bonds brokers bull bum bums captionless change com cup dime dollar donations economy finance hobo hobos homeless homelessness internet invest investment investments investors many market money name names nyse one other passersby poor poverty reading receiving side-by-side sign spare ‘spare-a-dime stock stocks street technology tin tramp tramps two urban wall web website websites 165404 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I need another week.”

Charles Barsotti (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 576 3

beach cellular contorted geometrically man need phone position problems relax serene serenity shaped stress stressed telephones tranquility unwind vacation vacations week wound 165405 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The occasion? Oh—that would be the fifth anniversary of our never having got married because of an earlier experience of yours that had nothing to do with me.”

William Hamilton (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 577 3

anniversaries boyfriend candlelight dinner during fear fights marital marriage past phobia pours proposals relationships wine woman 165406 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall.”

Victoria Roberts (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 578 3

consumerism fall falling food holding man mysterious next products pushing regional supermarkets woman 165407 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Once you have children, it forever changes the way you bore other people.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 579 3

bore boring child childhood children families family general kids living parent parenting parents problems rearing room telephone telephones woman 165408 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m sorry—the chocolate-almond biscotti are out of stock. I’d be happy to order one for you.”

Michael Maslin (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 580 3

almond biscotti books bookstore bookstores chocolate clerk cliche cliches coffee counter customer expressions fad food general language order play trend trendy word words 165409 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist.”

Frank Cotham (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 581 3

analyst comes coming general guests home husband husbands intervention medical parties party patient problems psychiatrist psychiatrists psychiatry psychologists psychology relationships session surprise therapist therapists therapy wary 165410 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Not in front of the crew!”

Gahan Wilson (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 582 3

background captain cat cats crew days general giggle incompetents leg legs members olden peg pets pirate pirates scratching wooden 165411 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We are so in synch. I was just about to ask you for a divorce.”

Barbara Smaller (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 583 3

ask divorce fights general husband husbands living love marital reading relationships room scenes synchronize synchronized wife wives 165412 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Don’t you think it’s time you started thinking about your legacy?”

Robert Weber (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 584 3

behind bill clinton couch divorce husband husbands legacy marriage pres relationships standing tv watching wife will 165413 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Would you like me to warm up your eggs?”

Danny Shanahan (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 585 3

animals birds breakfast chickens counter customer diner eggs food hen language service talking waiters waitress waitresses warm 165414 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I had that, only worse.”

Benita Epstein (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 586 3

being casket cemeteries death funeral funerals ground illness into lowered man medical talking woman worse 165415 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I can’t understand a word you say when your helmet is shut.”

George Booth (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 587 3

antique blown-out diving engine fights floor head helmets incompetents kitchen man marital relationships rowboat seaside shanty table tire town understand woman 165416 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 588 3

ancient astoria bag bags boilosity ceremonial ceremonies ceremony cooking decanting drinking filling fire future holy into kitchens mug mystical placing queens regional sacred saving sounding steeping tea upon use vessel whistle 165417 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Attention passengers. Flight 369 has been cancelled due to our desire to ruin your life.”

Matthew Diffee (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 589 3

airplanes airport announces cancel cancelled departure gate general incompetents life problems ruin travel waiting woman 165418 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Don’t you dare put Mommy on hold again.”

Peter Steiner (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 590 3

busy cellular child children city family general hold mom mothers parents phone portable street telephones urban 165419 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Did you bring a duplicate copy of your ‘Times’ obit with you?”

Arnie Levin (8/16/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 591 3

baseball cap death duplicate gates heaven man media new newspaper obituaries paper pearly peter ‘times’ york 165420 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I had no idea it was this serious.”

Robert Mankoff (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 592 3

because become couple depletion desert drives drought environment into jersey new recent regional road signs which 165421 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Sam Gross (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 593 3

alien bouncers captionless club creatures doorman doormen ejected ejecting explorers outer sci-fi space travel 165422 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I never had a problem before those goddam Bob Dole ads.”

David Sipress (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 594 3

advertising bed general husband impotence relationships robert sex viagra washington wife 165423 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Of course he looks peaceful—he’s lived his entire life in a bull market.”

Barbara Smaller (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 595 3

boy brokers bull children father fathers finishes general life little market mother peaceful reading sleep stock stocks tucking 165424 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Anyhow, according to the Science ‘Times,’ things would have turned out quite a bit differently if that meteor had hit Earth.”

Gahan Wilson (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 596 3

age another around asteroids business-dinosaur dinosaurs environment extinction human humans leash like looking meteors nature new one passes says small stone suits third ‘times walking york 165425 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m sorry—did you say something? I was off creating my own reality.”

William Haefeli (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 597 3

create dinner eating fights -general love man marital problems reality relationship say saying scenes virtual woman 165426 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

J.C. Duffy (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 598 3

briefs captionless duffy fashion form general inventions life modern pair panties playground playgrounds swings underwear 165427 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Tom Cheney (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 599 3

bed bedroom both divorce dummies escape escaped have husband left marriage master places prison prisoners relationships scenes sheet stuffed their tied via wife window 165428 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“My only crime, Denise, was loving you too much. That and embezzling your trust fund.”

Leo Cullum (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 600 3

booth collar crime criminals dating embezzle embezzler embezzling fights fund general love loving man marital money people relationships restaurant restaurants rich scenes trust white woman 165429 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I see Daddy’s back from the gun show.”

Robert Weber (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 601 3

cannon driveway fathers gun guns huge husband legislation looks out pulling recent refers regulate show shows tanks window woman 165430 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Leeches don’t bother me—I’m a lawyer.”

Frank Cotham (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 602 3

bother briefcase ethics general guide head lawyers over swamp swamps through wade 165431 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m used to having a pussycat doctor.”

Arnie Levin (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 603 3

animals cats clipboard doctors exam general herself hides looking medical men modestly owl patients problems pussycat stands table talking women 165432 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“To be frozen solid for a while on the north slope of Mt. Everest would, I occasionally feel, be a welcome change.”

Jack Ziegler (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 604 3

argument climbers couple fights george having living mallory marital mount mountain room their winter 165433 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 605 3

’ bug clocks clothes computer-clock computers decor internet january man millennium new olden problem style technology time times travel y2k yearrefers 165434 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 606 3

-b apartment apartments back campaign campaigns can’t captionless cares clinton closer coming confronts daughter families family get going have hillary hillary’s husband listening live mall monkey monkeys mother next paid pain politicalfather salaries says school senate shopping should sister sisters sleazy son teachers teen-age their tour want washington week weren’t why wish woes young 165435 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He hasn’t slept well since his dreams started carrying advertising.”

Michael Maslin (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 607 3

advertisements advertising appear automobiles balloon car cola dreams etc general head husbands living man over room sleep sleeping talking win women 165436 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“C’mon, Sugar, take a walk on the mild side.”

Marisa Acocella (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 608 3

bar bars beat beatniks businessman conservative dating fashion flirtations general generation hippies introductions language lou love lyrics mild parody pick-ups propositioning punk-girl reed scenes side song walk wild young 165437 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This is the grand ballroom. I think it has a lot of potential.”

Peter Steiner (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 609 3

apartment apartments architecture ballrooms building buyers empty enormous estate flat home homes house interiors potential prospective real realtor rent rich 165438 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Christopher Weyant (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 610 3

’ airliner airplanes below bumperstickers captionless delivery done driving flying general ‘how’s incompetents jet language limousines my numbers painted play runway signs tail telephone usually vans word 165439 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’re really bonding now, aren’t we, Dad?”

Edward Koren (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 611 3

bond bonding canoe canoes children down face fathers frightened going look male parents rapid son sons sports steep vacation vacations whitewater 165440 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Mr. Goodrich, what say we tell each other our darkest fantasies and start exploring the outer limits of modern sexuality.”

George Booth (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 612 3

age bed bedroom cats fantasy fedora five general incompetents kinky man modern number relationships rollers scenes sex sexual shirt small together woman 165441 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Mumford! I thought you were killed instantly.”

Danny Shanahan (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 613 3

another death desk doorway executive executives fire firing instantly kill killed killing looking office working 165442 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Page two, paragraph six: The moral high ground— we’re prepared to yield totally on that point.”

Charles Barsotti (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 614 3

contracts executives fables fox ground high lawyers moral negotiations rabbit 165443 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Ah! Here it is!”

Michael Crawford (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 615 3

age bathroom bathrooms bottle cabinet depression finds large life medicine middle play problems products relationship woman word zest 165444 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You were ferocious when you rushed to get us those seats on the Jitney.”

Victoria Roberts (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 616 3

beach beaches café envy ferocious ferocity general hamptons husbands man praising relationships restaurants seats swimming triumph vacations wives woman’s 165445 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you’ll have the entire aisle blocked!”

Kim Warp (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 617 3

age aging arrogance being block blocked cart citizen citizens elderly how incompetent man old program retirement senior shopping supermarkets taught title training 165446 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Donald Reilly (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 618 3

baby-sitters bait children discipline dock fishing front general hour includes kids little out reads shop sign tackle taken vacations which 165447 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I don’t mean to dampen your enthusiasm, but your use of the phrase ‘or die trying’ is a tad unsettling.”

Alex Gregory (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 619 3

burial cemetery cliche cliches climbers death enthusiasm expressions face funeral grave graveyard language mountain mourning ‘or play plot rock steep tomb tombstone trying’ wake word words 165448 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Life sucks and then you keep living.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 620 3

advice age cliche cliches down expressions language obstacles play problems street stress talking two walk woman word words younger 165449 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“With me it’s neither nature nor nurture. It’s Satan.”

Peter C. Vey (8/23/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 621 3

businessmen devils discussing down executives hell language men myths nature nurture religon street two walk 165450 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Wow! Labor Day already?”

Mick Stevens (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 622 3

backyard beaches bottom drained holiday holidays life man modern pool pools suddenly summer swimming which woman work 165451 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And now I’d like to do my impersonation of a happily married woman.”

Michael Maslin (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 623 3

cocktail couple fights front general head marital marriage married parties party problems relationships walk 165452 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“See, Jimmy? If they give a big tax cut to the wealthy, those guys’ll feel good and have us come fix their roof and stuff.”

Robert Weber (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 624 3

bar cut drinks feel feeling general handymen having people rich roof tax taxes two washington workmen 165453 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Can you believe it? A couple of page-turners, one affair, and, wham—it’s Labor Day.”

William Hamilton (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 625 3

adultery affairs automobiles background beach beaches books car driving general love pager-turner season sex summer swimming two women 165454 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Let’s have a heart-to-heart talk—one huge, powerful grownup to one tiny, nothing kid.”

Gahan Wilson (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 626 3

boy children family fathers general heart-to-heart huge language lap large little man parents play word 165455 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Christopher Weyant (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 627 3

amusement atlanta brokers called claiming co-workers coaster coasters day family financial incident killed market park parks past pressure recent refers roller stock stocks ‘the trader violent where 165456 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The relatively placid seas and those vacationers behind me notwithstanding, Dan, it’s really starting to blow out here.”

Jack Ziegler (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 628 3

anchorman approaching beach beaches blow get hat holding hurricane hurricanes media news onto scoop sunny swimming television tries vacation weather 165457 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“So it’s a case of he said, she said, it said.”

J.B. Handelsman (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 629 3

adam apple bible blames devil down eden eve fights finger garden god looks marital points problems relationships religion snake 165458 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Eat your lunch, and then we’ll see about giving your phone back.”

Charles Barsotti (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 630 3

arrogance beepers cellular cliche cliches confiscates diner expressions language lunch obstacles parent play portable restaurants service surprised-looking telephones waiter waiters word words 165459 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“See, it’s right here in the pre-nup. If you walk out, I get two weeks’ severance sex.”

Robert Mankoff (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 631 3

agreements bags contract divorce document fire fired firing good hand home husband law leaving obstacles points prenuptial problems ready relationships severance sex weeks’ while wives woman 165460 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Something ought to be left to the imagination.”

Danny Shanahan (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 632 3

animals bare clothing comment dogs female freshly general haircuts imagination leash male naked nude nudity poodle shaved talking two walking 165461 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And I’m sure no one will mind if we fold a few clothes while we talk.”

Kim Warp (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 633 3

baskets board boardroom chairman clothing discussion executive executives female fold full general household laundry leads management meetings sit table two women 165462 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight.”

Leo Cullum (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 634 3

advising booth diner language leaning over parchment play restaurants service waiter waiters word 165463 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m still a work-in-hiding.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 635 3

couch general in-progress insecurity language living phone play problems room talking telephones woman word work- work-in-hiding 165464 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Bernard Schoenbaum (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 636 3

club clubs dollar dollar-sign-shaped furniture group groups love meetings members men men’s organizations people rich seat seats signs sit sofa 165465 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Don’t play hide-and-seek with me, Beverly! Because I always win!”

George Booth (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 637 3

age booth butlers cat cats -general george hide-and-seek hiding house incompetents its out people pets rich rug rugs searching servants servents sticking tail through under wealthy win woman 165466 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If you require immediate assistance, press the pound sign.”

John Caldwell (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 638 3

behind businessmen button cliche cliches desk expressions forehead general incompetents language man play pound sign technology telephones tone touch word words 165467 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

M.K. Brown (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 639 3

abusive airlines airplane airplanes attendant businessman businessmen cage cages confinement’ ‘courtesy executives fights flight general other passengers prison prisoners recent refers serves upswing violent 165468 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is this the movie of the week or the news of the day?”

Mick Stevens (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 640 3

balkans bombs bosnia exploding explosions general husband kosovo media movie movies news television watching week woman yugoslavia 165469 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Are you just pissing and moaning, or can you verify what you’re saying with data?”

Edward Koren (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 641 3

angry another back bar bars baseball caps country data general males moaning pissing rural say saying statistics two types verify white woods 165470 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

J.C. Duffy (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 642 3

back cab cliche cliches duffy expressions general killing language looking me’ not passenger play sign signs taxis thank word words 165471 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (9/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 643 3

ago air all always another approaching array automobiles avenue back boat boring but buzzard came captain car chast cleaner clouds cold complete concentration confusing conveys cooler could counts craft dates day diagram doctors doing don’t done down drive driving dry etc even exhilarating expanse experience expressway failure familiar farther finally first followed free general getting god groceries had harbor hardware home husband including just knew knots know konundrum krensky’s landscape languages learned learn- ing left library limitless majesty make mall maneuver map maps mesas near-home needed next not one only open out panel parallel parking peabody play reads realized reasonably receded right road route roz safe safety sail sailing sailor’s school sea seascape sees sense seven she shoreline shouting show shows sign signs sky spent spongy steered still store storm street such take thank the there thinking through time trees trip turning uncharted unlost using video was wasn’t waters weird well were what wheel when where whiffenpoof wind woman women writer years 165472 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“That’s all very nice, Jefferson, but do you have any other new business?”

Jack Ziegler (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 644 3

belly board boardroom businessmen chairman discussing executives fashion general group incompetents management meetings nice off one shows tattoo tattoos this trends week’s 165473 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

J.B. Handelsman (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 645 3

hour bank banks crime criminals general illegal implicated launder laundering man money money-laundering new passes reads recent refers russia russian scandal scheme sign this was week’s which window york 165474 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“ ‘What I Did on My Summer Vacation,’ by special arrangement with the New Jersey State Police.”

Mick Stevens (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 646 3

accompanied before boy boys cell child childhood children class classroom convict correctional crime criminals education essay facility general girl girls incarcerate incarcerated incarceration jail kid kids little preparing prison prisoners pupil read s chool schoolroom schools stands student students teach teachers teaching this troopers two week’s ‘what young youth 165475 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Now, this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven’t been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves.”

William Hamilton (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 647 3

alcohol alcoholic california cinema cocktail director drink drinkable drinking entertainment film group hollywood large liquor motion movie movies parties people picture taste tasting test theater vineyard week’s wine 165476 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Have you got that in bulletproof?”

Victoria Roberts (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 648 3

advertising appearances armor attire boutique bulletproof buying campaign clerk clothes clothing everybody fashion gangster gap gap’s gear general generalreferences guns insecurity looks navy obstacles problems protection protective rap sales shop shopping store style trend trendy vest vests woman zipper 165477 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is this the year, Pumpkin? Goodbye, love boat, hello, elder hostel?”

Lee Lorenz (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 649 3

age aging armchair bathrobe boat citizen citizens cruise elder elderly general hostel husband husbands journey liners love ocean old paper pleasure senior ships travel trip vacation vacations wife 165478 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy’s quiet-desperation time.”

Leo Cullum (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 650 3

alcohol alcoholic alcoholism away balding child childhood children dad david depressed depression desperation drink drinking drunk families family fathers henry inebriated intoxicated kids liquor martini martinis parent parenting parents places play publ ic quiet quiet-desperation quotes rearing sad shoos son thoreau word 165479 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Ready, Harold? You’re the wicked troll and I’m the garden fairy, and you’re very angry because you don’t want me passing over your bridge on my way to Grandma’s house!”

George Booth (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 651 3

age angry antenna armchair believe bug-eyed childishness children’s cigar-smoking costume costumes crouches elderly enter fairy fantasy gamely general hat husband imagination living make next pointed prepares pretend pretending relationships room sex sexual stairs story tales troll wearing while wicked wife 165480 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I think it loves us.”

Gahan Wilson (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 652 3

animals aquariums fish goldfish huge human love notice outside pet pets relationships smiling talking tank their two 165481 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The music was so loud I couldn’t hear myself talk.”

Robert Weber (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 653 3

arrogance center complains concert ego entertainment instrument leaving lincoln loud man music musical musician new performance problems regional singing song talk woman york 165482 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Hey! Get a load of the acoustics!”

Sam Gross (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 654 3

acoustics animals barrier board boat boats dock docked encounter funnel -general mice mouse obstacles problems rats rodent rodents ship ships sound talking trying 165483 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Michael Maslin (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 655 3

automobiles autos border car cars chorus drive drives driving ‘entering general lyrics musical oklahoma ooooooooklahoma play reading refers regional road sign signs song state states theatre title word 165484 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Remember how big and clunky the first ones were?”

Danny Shanahan (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 656 3

beer clunky computers doll-sized dolls drinking fence frankenstein frankenstein’s front general law men monster monsters moore’s one stand toy toys two walks yard 165485 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’re hoping for an uptick.”

Edward Koren (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 657 3

apparently before black brokers death deathbed doctor doctors examination fitness flatline general get health hope hoping hospitals humor looking m.d. market medical nurse one optimistic patient patients physician soon stand stock talks terminal three visitor well worried 165486 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I’m really more intrigued by your observations of London and France.”

Pat Byrnes (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 658 3

boy boys child childhood children cliche cliches england expressions general girl girls kid kids language little nursery observations one others outside play playgrounds playing rhymes schoolyard see sightings underpants word words young youth 165487 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Good news. Your execution was overturned on appeal.”

Robert Mankoff (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 659 3

appeals burial cell cemeteries cemetery client convict correctional court courthouse courtroom crime criminals death executions facility funeral grave graveyard guilt guilty incarcerate incarcerated incarceration incompetents innocence innocent jail judg e judicial juries jury law lawyer lawyers legal mourning obstacles plot prison prisoners problems system talks tomb tombstone trial wake witness 165488 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

FAC E S

William Steig (9/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 660 3

absract bizarre cranium face faces head heads men steig william wst 165489 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 661 3

big business cartoon character characters company disney disneyland domination ears earth final merger mergers mickey mouse planet shows takeover walt world 165490 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Tom Hachtman (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 662 3

architecture bird building buildings city curse cuss donald finger flip flipping general gesture manhattan middle neighborhoods new nyc obscene regional shape shore side the trump urban west word york 165491 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The days of the bartender-psychologist are over, but I can help if you have any software problems.”

Sidney Harris (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 663 3

advice bar barroom bars bartender bartender-psychologist bartenders beer booze chagrined commiserates computers customer drinking general help house manager problems psychiatrist psychologist pub public software system tavern technology 165492 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Call the Ford agency—another supermodel just blew away.”

Harry Bliss (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 664 3

blew blown camera clinic death diets doctor doctors electric examination fan fans fashion fitness get hand health live m.d. machines medical model models nurse patients photo photograph photographer photographers photography physician picture pictures problems rehab shoot skinny snapshot soon stylist supermodel weight well wind 165493 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m not trying to change you—I’m trying to enhance you.”

Warren Miller (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 665 3

change changing date dates dating enhance fights general man marital marriage obstacles problems relationships restaurant restaurants table woman 165494 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Bill Lee (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 666 3

appearances asking attire beggar beggars bum bums clothes clothing fashion general hobo hobos homeless homelessness looks pay people phone phones poor poverty scenes sex sidewalk sitting street style talking telephones tramp tramps two urban walk wearing what 165495 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Frankly, I find style without substance a hell of a lot easier to cope with.”

William Hamilton (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 667 3

another appearances attire boutique clothes clothing drinking fashion general life looks modern one people rich sales shop shopping style substance table tea trend trends trendy woman 165496 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’ve got a lot of deadwood in this firm, Crawford. Let’s give it back to the community.”

Leo Cullum (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 668 3

another board boss business chairmen collar community corporate deadwood desk employee employer employment executive executives fire fired firing give incompetents laid lay-off management members occupation off office one profession professional sitting terminate unemployment white work 165497 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Great for worship then! Great for retail now!”

Edward Koren (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 669 3

agent apartment apartments architecture building church churches estate five flat general group home homes house life modern real religion religious rent sale shows stores synagogue worship 165498 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ll pencil you in for recess.”

Robert Weber (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 670 3

appointment appointments boy boys child childhood children classmate classroom dating desk education girl girls grade kid kids little pencil pupil recess schedules school schoolroom schools student students teach teachers teaching young youth 165499 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I don’t think it’s sanitary to drink from the same footprint.”

Frank Cotham (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 671 3

age background cavemen dinosaur’s dinosaurs drink drinking environment fitness footprints hands jurassic knees neanderthal prepare primitive safe sanitary stone thirsty two unsafe volcanoes water 165500 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I had a lovely time checking out great-looking men checking out even better-looking men.”

Marisa Acocella (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 672 3

checking cocktail descending evening gay gays gowns homosexuals men out parties preference preferences sarcasm sarcastic sexual staircase talking two women 165501 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Had I known then what I know now—that you have the ability to attract ruby-throated hummingbirds—yes, I probably would’ve married you.”

Michael Maslin (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 673 3

affection around attract birds bride ceremony domestic general groom head hover hummingbirds husbands know love man marriage marry matrimony nuptial propose relations relationships restaurant restaurants romance wed wedding woman 165502 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mort Gerberg (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 674 3

automobiles battery battery’s bridge bronx city down down-arrows general highway lanes left lyrics manhattan neighborhoods new nyc regional right road signs song traffic tunnel two under up-arrows urban york 165503 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m taking everything that looks twentieth-centuryish and tossing it.”

Barbara Smaller (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 675 3

appearances attire away bundle century centuryish closet closets clothes clothing fashion front garbage hand life looks man modern out style talking throw toss tossing trash trend trendy twentieth woman women 165504 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Palmer, I want you to see to the legwork; Moscowitz, you’ll be my eyes and ears.”

Danny Shanahan (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 676 3

board boss business businessmen chairmen clam clams cliche cliches collar corporate ears employee employees employer employment executive executives expressions eyes general giant language legwork man-eating members occupation office play profession professional talk talking two which white word words work 165505 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Hey, that’s a cat trick.”

Victoria Roberts (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 677 3

animals best canines cat cat’s cats cradle dog doggie dogs feline felines friend general husband making man's pet pets pooch pugs puppies puppy string tricks wife 165506 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save it for the hair judge.”

Michael Crawford (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 678 3

arrests bad beauty cop cops court courthouse courtroom crime day enforcement fashion -general hair hairdo hairstyle having judge judges judicial law legal nypd officer police policeman policemen shops system trial woman 165507 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool.”

Robert Mankoff (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 679 3

another boyfriend cocktail cool country fad fads fashion geeky introduces introductions music nerdy parties party trend trends trendy uncool unpopular woman 165508 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Like all great art, it made me feel hopelessly inadequate.”

David Sipress (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 680 3

actor actress after art bewildered broadway dates entertainment general great hopeless inadequate leaves live looking make man movies performers play plays seeing social theater theatre woman year 165509 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (9/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 681 3

advance all already anyway around authors bestseller better book books called chast children claims colleges complaining concerned doogie dumber engineering enough fancy gene genetic go good-for-nothing have improved intelligence jobs joe literature made manuscript meet memory men menial mice modifying most motto mouse needs non-smart nr2b off pressure princeton probably publishing refers roz say says science scientist sit smart smarter some strain than their them then they’d they’re time tiny too tsien universi - ty want were where within worrying writers writing 165510 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Sorry, kid—your school voucher’s no good here.”

Danny Shanahan (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 682 3

bar barroom bars bartender beer booze boy boys child childhood children credit drinking general girl girls house kid kids little money pub public school tavern voucher vouchers young youth 165512 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“That’s a mighty big louse, but I’d hardly call it the louse of the century.”

Frank Cotham (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 683 3

alley beggar beggars big bug bugs bum bums century discuss hobo hobos homeless homelessness insect insects language lice life louse men millennium modern play poor poverty their tramp tramps turn two word 165513 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Alex Gregory (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 684 3

astronomy candies candy center core creamy cross-sectioned crust diagram diagrams earth food into layer layers mantle nougat planet science sweet sweetness three 165514 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Wait! I’ve got a quarter!”

Robert Mankoff (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 685 3

animals being best canines city cop cops crime dog doggie dogs enforcement friend general guns law life man's meter meters modern money new nypd officer out parking pet pets police policeman policemen pooch puppies puppy quarters rushes save scenes shot store street tied urban woman york 165515 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K., here I am in the fourth grade, but is that really what I want to be doing with my life?”

Barbara Smaller (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 686 3

boy boys careers child childhood children classroom doing education elementary entrance fourth general girl girls grade graders kid kids life little obstacles problems pupil school schoolroom schools sit steps student students teachers two young youth 165516 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Our house wine is abominable.”

Victoria Roberts (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 687 3

abominable alcohol alcoholic couple cuisine dining dinner drink drinking eat eating eats food foods house incompetents liquor meals problems table wine 165517 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 688 3

cart dog dogs events food foods hot labelled life meat meat-related meats modern urban vendor vendors 165518 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 689 3

ate big dead eat eaten eating eats fish heroes rescue save saved schools shark sharkman sharks smaller super superhero superman through was 165519 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

PAIRS (1 of 3)

William Steig (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 690 3

animals best canines cat cats couple couples dog doggie dogs duo duos feline felines flute friend general grass man's music musicians nude ‘pairs’ pet pets plays pooch puppies puppy relationships sitting steig william woman wst 174458 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

PAIRS (2 of 3)

William Steig (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 691 3

animals best canines cat cats couple couples dog doggie dogs duo duos feline felines flute friend general grass man's music musicians nude ‘pairs’ pet pets plays pooch puppies puppy relationships sitting steig william woman wst 174459 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

PAIRS (3 of 3)

William Steig (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 692 3

animals best canines cat cats couple couples dog doggie dogs duo duos feline felines flute friend general grass man's music musicians nude ‘pairs’ pet pets plays pooch puppies puppy relationships sitting steig william woman wst 174460 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Mr. Mosbacher, are you expecting anything via U.P.S.?”

Robert Weber (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 693 3

ancient announces delivery executive executives expect expecting general history horse huge letter letters mail office parcel post postage postal postman receptionist receptionists service trojan united workers 165521 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Donald Reilly (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 694 3

accidents advertises advertising angry automobiles autos billboards busy car cars counselling disgruntled drive driving enraged furious -general highway -highways irate irritated mad posters psychiatrists psychologists rage ‘road -signs sufferers traffic upset van 165522 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I had him declawed, de-toothed, de-whiskered, de-legged, and de-tailed.”

Michael Maslin (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 695 3

animals annoying appendage cat cats couple de-legged declawed every feline felines life modern pet pets potentially removed shows spherical tails whiskers who’s woman 165523 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And then, in yet another stunning volte-face, the artist rediscovered the human figure.”

Lee Lorenz (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 696 3

art artist artistic artists artwork audio canvas couple discover drawing exhibition face figure galleries gallery general human humanities life listens model modelling museum museums naked nude nudes older painter painters painting people pin-up sculpt sculptor sculpture style tour volte 165524 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“According to our time-and-motion studies, you handle your time very well but a lot of your motion is wasted.”

Sidney Harris (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 697 3

business cabinet cabinets consultant desks employee executives file filing general incompetents management motion office review reviewed surveys time time-and-motion top waste wasted workers 165525 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone.”

Edward Koren (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 698 3

age aged aging automobiles autos car cars couple couples drive driving marriage married middle middled old sports testosterone watch young zoom 165526 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“As far as I’m concerned, it just takes my kind.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 699 3

all board boss business businessmen chairmen cliche cliches collar concern corporate desk employee employer employment executives expressions general kind kinds language man members occupation office phone play profession professional takes telephones white word words work 165527 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Good news, Mrs. Bryant—I think we got it all.”

Danny Shanahan (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 700 3

bed beside cancer dead death die died doctor doctors empty examination fitness got health hospital hospitals husband’s m.d. medical mourning nurse patients physician surgery woman 165528 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I sense a lot more going on with you than ‘house-husband.’ ”

William Hamilton (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 701 3

adultery attraction attractive chase cocktail flirt flirtations flirting general hit hitting house-husband housewife husbands language love man married more on parties party pickups play scenes sense sex sexual woman word 165529 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Willard! About your mother’s biscuits and coleslaw! Shut up about your mother’s biscuits! And shut up about your mother’s coleslaw!”

George Booth (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 702 3

age anger angry bench benches bickering cold cole couple cuisine dining disgruntled eat eating eats enraged fights food foods furious irate irritated language mad marital marriage meals mothers park relationships slaw upset 165530 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And just what was that little window you clicked off when I came in?”

Arnie Levin (9/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 703 3

clicking computer computers couple couples fights internet laptop man marital marriage married peering pointing pornography relationships sex sitting technology windows woman 165531 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I really, really enjoyed your hype.”

Liza Donnelly (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 704 3

author book books bookstore bookstores hoots hype john language line meet play signing woman women word writers 165533 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The ads just say ‘Everybody in Leather’—they don’t say how much.”

Victoria Roberts (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 705 3

advertising dominatrix ‘everybody fashion gap general husband leather’ minimal nude outfit relationships sex strappy woman 165534 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“As a cost-cutting measure, for our fall list we have decided to bypass traditional bookstore sales and subsequent remaindering, and instead go directly to the shredder.”

Jack Ziegler (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 706 3

book books bookstores conference denmore executive general others publishers publishing remainder shredder table 165535 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Sam Gross (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 707 3

bin books bookstore bookstores consumersim ‘damaged library life man modern passes reads recorders shopping sign tape 165536 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Richard and I are planning on taking some time off just to enjoy our purchases.”

Barbara Smaller (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 708 3

after consumerism couple enjoy friend packages people purchases rich shopping spree street vacations 165537 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Any intellectual property yet, honey?”

Mike Twohy (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 709 3

ask block frustasted going how husband husbands intellectual peeks problems property technology wife work writer writers 165538 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Yep, that’s it—seven pages. I only write what I know.”

Robert Weber (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 710 3

book books editor general incompetents know pages publishers seven variations write writer writers young 165539 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Never forget where you came from, son.”

Danny Shanahan (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 711 3

anthropomorphic birds business businessmen executives family fathers feeding forget normal parents pigeons sons street suits talking 165540 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Somehow it never occurred to me that if I lived to be ninety-six I’d be ninety-six for all eternity.”

Edward Sorel (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 712 3

afterlife age aging angel angels black citizen citizens death elderly eternity gates halo heaven humor ninety-six old pearly senior wings young 165541 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 713 3

art artists british brooklyn chalk chris damien dung elephant hirst metro museum ofili oil paints pastels sculpture sells sensation show store storesrefers supplies supply 165542 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He said he can’t complain. Business is good.”

Leo Cullum (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 714 3

accidents been briefcase businessmen complain crushed death executives just kneeling man money other over passerby pedestrians safe safes urban 165543 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I thought it had a pretty good story and interesting characters, but I really didn’t like the font.”

David Sipress (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 715 3

aged book books boy children class elementary font front general reading reads report school teachers 165544 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 716 3

american bleb boy chast council filet fish general greasymouth green gristle mer name names neptune’s new ocean order pride revised roz sea seafood shinglefish sludgy various wavemaster 165545 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Just don’t come crawling back to me when I start becoming visible.”

William Hamilton (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 717 3

actors bag bed can crawl crawling fights holding language man marital packing relationships visible woman women writers 165546 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Do we know for sure it’s a concussion and not just a Keatsian swoon?”

Michael Crawford (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 718 3

accident accidents after ambulance automobiles bandaged car carry concussion ems head john keats language man medical play stretcher swoon word workers 165547 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I do want to solve all my problems, but I’ll wait till it comes out in soft cover.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 719 3

another best-seller book books consumerism down laziness lazy one pass problems publishing self-help shop soft stores street wait walking window woman women 165548 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Yes, he is a pet detective, and he’s here on business.”

Victoria Roberts (10/4/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 720 3

armchair business cat cats detective explains general man movies pet police sitting sofa 165549 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You’ve hidden the mosquito repellent, haven’t you, Martha?”

Victoria Roberts (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 721 3

areas carried chair city death disease easy encephalitis face fever fights hide husband marital marriage mosquitoes mosquitos new nile nile-like ny outbreak refers relationships sitting sly smile summer surrounding west wife york 165550 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“No doubt about it. The Internet poses a great threat to personal privacy.”

Robert Mankoff (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 722 3

another burlesque computers dancer exotic female life modern naked nude one peep people pole privacy room sex show strip stripper tease technology threat 165551 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“A lot of homework?”

Barbara Smaller (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 723 3

backpack children elementary general homework knapsacks mother over problems schoolbooks schools small son teachers tipped weight who’s 165552 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ve consolidated all our bills into one missed payment.”

Frank Cotham (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 724 3

bills couch debt husband incompetents lounging paying payment people poor problems table tray woman 165553 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Could you not call me Ray this time?”

Harry Bliss (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 725 3

bed bedroom couple fights having marital names problems relationships scenes sex 165554 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Of course, it helped that my father was also a king.”

Gahan Wilson (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 726 3

balcony children crown family fathers help helped king kingdom large parents royalty surveys 165555 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Well, if you’re not going to say anything could you please exude something?”

Richard Cline (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 727 3

cocktail exude fights language man marital parties party people relationships rich say stoic woman 165556 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Oh, great! Here comes the policeman of the world again.”

Jack Ziegler (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 728 3

character crime dice fictional gambling general international jumps monkeys out playing police policeman tarzan toward tree 165557 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Son, everyone went to college in the sixties—there was a war going on.”

Barbara Smaller (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 729 3

american army boy chair college dodgers -draft easy education father fathers -general history newspaper reading sixties small vietnam vietnamese war 165558 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I hope you’ve noticed that our menu is refreshingly devoid of creativity.”

Robert Weber (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 730 3

couple creativity devoid food -general incompetents language menus restaurant restaurants table waiter waiters 165559 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Now, with a firm twist, I’ll remove his attorney.”

Danny Shanahan (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 731 3

another doctor general hospitals language lawyers medical one operating room surgeon surgery twist 165560 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This is Mrs. Burlington Wells. One of my begonias went off by accident and killed Mr. Goodrich.”

George Booth (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 732 3

accidents balcony begonias below death fallen flower flowers general guns head just man's police potted talking telephone telephones window woman 165561 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Nonsense, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble at all readjusting to life in the wild.”

Charles Barsotti (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 733 3

bird birds boss executives fire firing general glasses hierarchy management tie wearing 165562 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 734 3

bottle cabinet captionless containing effects household labelled large man medical medicine open pills problems ‘side staring that’s 165563 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Good Lord, Professor! There it goes—the theory of everything!”

Lee Lorenz (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 735 3

age attractive campus college everything female gawk general language physics professors scientists sex theory two undergrad women 165564 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 736 3

adults age ager aspirin away bran burger caffeine cake candle cassette chocolate cigarettes coffees delight ed fast food foot gin-and-tonics grandma’s grown grownup gum happy herbal hill kids lottery massage mcdonald’s meals metamucil muffin new nicotine nineteen nodoz parody piece prunes restaurant scented seven shake shiatsu six special tea three ticket uncle ups’ windham 165565 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I lost everything in the Beanie Baby crash of ’99.”

Pat Byrnes (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 737 3

all animals bar bars brokers craze depression economic fad general guy how incompetents market money stock stocks stubbly stuffed tells toy toys tramps trend trends trendy washed 165566 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Do that thing where you leave.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 738 3

aged couch divorce fights home husband husbands leave leaving marital marriage middle problems relationships thing woman 165567 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (10/11/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 739 3

aaaaagh all aloe anyone approved awful axle b-84 bathroomsthe beer biloba blossom boosts bottles bourbon broccoli butter calcium calm caramel-walnut case catnip cereal chardonnay chast chip-cookiedough chocolate choices chrysanthemum cliff collect conditioner consumerism course cream crême-fraiche curds custard dandruff diazepam didn't dirty discussion don't doughnuts dumpster echinacea edge even ever extra-strength extract feel fill fine finishing five frankly gee genuine ginkgo ginseng granola gravel grease had hair happen have having head herring honey hotel house household immune iron ironic it jojoba julep junk just kava-kava kids know kudzu latté life like little look lot love memory mine mint miss modern more much muffet mushroom next nine not now ocean of off oil one orange out parents parsley passionflower people pesto plus prell problems proliferation prosperity’ pumpkin push raisin-honey-nut rich rinse roz run safe sage sauce scientists scrub seagull-feather seaweed seed shampoo shampoos sherpa shoulder smells soap some strong stuff such sunscreen super-ultra-fun system tears ‘the theirs them there thing this three tofu too tragedy twelve-egg unusually vera vim vitamin wanted was water way we week what wheat-germ wheeeee whey why yak yeast 165568 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Not a single mention of how ‘Bedtime for Bonzo’ fits into the big picture.”

Jack Ziegler (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 740 3

bedtime big biographies biography bonzo’ books doorway dutch edmund front general man memoir morris movies picture porch pres reading reagan ronald talking washington wife 165569 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Robert Mankoff (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 741 3

businessmen cell cellular edge features general inscribed life man modern off pedestal phone progress statue statues suit talking telephones walk 165570 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Just tell me about the new continent. I don’t give a damn what you’ve discovered about yourself.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 742 3

addresses america christopher columbus courtroom days discover discovered explorer grumpy isabella olden queen royalty 165571 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Actually, I’m hoping what I’m going to be when I grow up hasn’t been invented yet.”

Barbara Smaller (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 743 3

children general grow hope hoping invent inventions jobs kids lockers pre-teen school schools teachers two work 165572 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“No, I can’t come and play now, Bobby. My dad’s teaching me how to eat pizza.”

Liza Donnelly (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 744 3

boy children come dad eat eating fathers food friend general near out parents phone pizza sits small sons telephones 165573 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m told the omelettes here have a broader purpose.”

Peter C. Vey (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 745 3

booth broader cuisine diner eggs food foods language low man menus omelets purpose reading restaurants woman 165574 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I, too, want to preserve the environment, just as it is: acid rain, holes in the ozone layer, lots of crap in the air.”

J.B. Handelsman (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 746 3

acid businessmen cocktail conservative ecology environment general language man older parties party play pollution rain woman word 165575 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Well, I hope you’re happy, Mr. Science Genius. Now you’ve killed your little sister.”

Jack Ziegler (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 747 3

beside bird boy brothers cage chemistry dead death dog floor general girl mother murder poison scientists sets sisters test tube 165576 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Ooh, look, Tom. A bright-yellow rubber worm with a sharp metal hook in it.”

Harry Bliss (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 748 3

boat disdain fish fishermen fishing general hook leisure lure rubber stare surface two visible water’s worm yellow 165577 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“In the future, everyone’s going to stop talking about being famous for fifteen minutes.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 749 3

aged andy celebrities cocktail famous fifteen future man middle parties party warhol woman 165578 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Would you mind stepping out of the pumpkin, please?”

Michael Maslin (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 750 3

after back cinderella cinderella’s coach cop fairy flashlight into over police pulled pumpkin tales traffic turns violations 165579 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

George Booth (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 751 3

aimed captionless dictator dictators drainpipes funnel giving gutters long oil picturesque politics pouring rallies roof speech speeches top village wash water woman world 165580 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Ah, youth!”

Mike Twohy (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 752 3

aging children couch father fathers front general laziness lazy out potato son teen television vegging wife youth 165581 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Benita Epstein (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 753 3

animals apartment apartments barking different dogs each fights general other shut speaking speech talking two urban windows 165582 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If it’s any consolation, toward the end he was high as a kite.”

Danny Shanahan (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 754 3

consolation consoles death died doctor doctors drugs general high hospitals husband husbands just language marijuana medical morphine pain-killers patients room waiting whose woman 165583 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I think he was a celebrity.”

Edward Koren (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 755 3

celebrities celebrity children general horseback huge look medieval museums painting paintings royalty small swordsman times two 165584 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Thank you, but I’ve already provided for my children’s college education.”

Frank Cotham (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 756 3

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Roz Chast (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 757 3

all bogey boogie bunny childhood christmas claus cosmology easter etc fairy family figures frosty genealogy general god heaven leprechauns major man mythical religion santa snowman ‘the timmy tooth tree witches 165586 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You look sensational!”

Leo Cullum (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 758 3

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“I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before.”

Barbara Smaller (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 759 3

another babies day fall general generation mother mothers one park problems pseudo psychiatrists psychologists science sitting their therapy 165588 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Lieutenant, he left a suicide sticky.”

Arnie Levin (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 760 3

dead death detectives find general life man modern near note notes police post-it stickies suicide technology written 165589 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Ruben Bolling (10/18/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 761 3

business children’ childrens comic eight food happy ‘harvey language law lawyer market meal options panel represents richards start stock trades 165590 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“What shall we do with that hour we gain this weekend?”

Edward Frascino (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 762 3

age aging back backwards chair citizen citizens clock clocks daylight elderly husband old relationships remarks rocking savings senior set time woman 165591 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I don’t want stock options. I want you to pay your tab.”

Charles Barsotti (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 763 3

alcohol alcoholic alcoholism bar bars bartender bear bills bonds brokers bull business credit dollar drink drinking drunk economy finance general inebriated internet intoxicated investments liquor market money nyse options sitting startups stock street tab wall 165592 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Susan Faludi would like to buy you a brewski.”

Lee Lorenz (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 764 3

after alcohol alcoholic alcoholism american author bar bars beer being betrayal book books bought brewski company cover drink drinking drunk faludi’s feminism flirtations general inebriated intoxicated liquor literature love man men morrow new pickups relationships scenes stiffed william working 165593 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Peter Steiner (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 765 3

atlanta baseball beside braves cap capsitting disgruntled event events game games general hats loss mets new patient psychiatrists psychologists refers rival rivalry rivals series slot sport sporting sports therapist wearing world yankees york 165594 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ve seen the future and it’s my mother.”

Barbara Smaller (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 766 3

age bed fitness future husband looking menopause middle mirror mothers parents problems relationships sitting slip woman women 165595 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m looking for a nice cottage in a wooded area that would appeal to children in the four-to-seven age group.”

Bernard Schoenbaum (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 767 3

agent childrens estate fairy find gingerbread gretel hansel home homes house houses housing real realtor realty story tales visits witch witches 165596 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s been a perfect evening—why ruin it with aggravated assault?”

Michael Maslin (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 768 3

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“I think you’ll like this idea—it’s sort of ‘dull’ meets ‘inoffensive.’ ”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 769 3

advertising businessmen campaign t directors dull executives general hollywood ideas inoffensive like man media movies pitches producers screenplay ad screenplays screenwriters show television 165598 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I don’t think, David, that agreeing to disagree is a good foundation for marriage.”

Robert Weber (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 770 3

affection agree bride ceremony conflicts domestic foundation general groom love man’s marriage marry matrimony men nuptial problems proposal proposals propose relations relationships replies restaurant restaurants romance wed wedding woman women 165599 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick.”

Danny Shanahan (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 771 3

animals another best canines cliche cliches dog doggie dogs expressions friend friends general language lolling man's one pet pets play pooch puppies puppy schtick see shtick smiling tail tongue wagging word words 165600 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“What are you doing outside of coach?”

Gahan Wilson (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 772 3

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“Now, were those friends of yours Gettys or Gottis?”

William Hamilton (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 773 3

asks celebrities celebrity class cocktail crime criminals don events fame famous friends fuel gangster gangsters gas gatherings general getty gotti introductions john leaving leisure mafia man man’s mingling mob mobster mobsters mogul money names oil opulence parties party paul people petroleum rich social socializing upper wealth wealthy woman 165602 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Peter Steiner (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 774 3

caffeine captionless chocolate cigarettes cigars coffee coming food foods general have health life man modern mother nature’s reads red second sign signs soon store tobacco trends walks where window wine yes 165603 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Can anyone remember what our core business is?”

Richard Cline (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 775 3

around business conference executive executives female male meetings offices one remember sit subsidiaries table two 165604 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And that’s how ya clean a deer!”

Harry Bliss (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 776 3

bloody boy carcass children classroom deer elementary general gut guts gutted hangs horrified hunting knife look next school schools show teacher teachers tell 165605 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We do it, Havermeyer, because our corporate parent says we must.”

Jack Ziegler (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 777 3

all around board business businessmen chairman company conference disney general hats meeting meetings men mickey mouse must offices room seated shouts table walt wearing 165606 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Leo Cullum (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 778 3

beggar beggars bum bums captionless depressed depression general hobo hobos homeless homelessness look misery morose near panhandler poor poverty reads really sad sadness sign signs stands street tramp tramps unhappiness unhappy upset urban 165607 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 779 3

angry automobiles autos big captionless car cars disgruntled drive drivers driving enraged furious general grandma highway highways hurry irate irritated jackass mad make mind move over pal rage road say signs some thinking upset what what’s 165608 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Have you ever seen a dream walking? Well, I have.”

George Booth (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 780 3

apartment apartments attraction attractive chase couple dream dreams filled flirt flirting hit hitting junk kitchen line lines lyrics man on people pickup poor says sex sexual sitting songs table urban walking woman 165609 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I like that—‘compassionate predators.’ ”

J.B. Handelsman (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 781 3

bush campaign campaigning campaigns candidate candidates civil cliche cliches come compassion ‘compassionate conservative conservatives describes description election expressions george gov government job language lions new official platform play political politicians politics predators presidential tigers two washington wild word words 165610 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“O.K., which cup is your job under now?”

Peter C. Vey (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 782 3

boss businessmen employee’s employment executive gamble gambling game insecurity job jobs offices personnel plays security shell 165611 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“They’ve remained remarkably faithful to the text.”

Nick Downes (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 783 3

actor actress broadway cards cue dialogue entertainment faithful general hold lines literature novels performers play plays printed scenery signs text theater theatre types 165612 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (11/1/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 784 3

bug captionless catholic catholicism christ christian christianity clouds computer computers down life lightning modern most mythology programs refers religion religious removed supposedly technology throws y2k year zeus 165613 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Interesting weekend, Prendergast?”

Jack Ziegler (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 785 3

after board business businessmen chairman conference guy klan klux life meetings modern monday offices outfit politics rally table weekend 165614 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I looked at you and thought, I bet this man runs marathons.”

Edward Koren (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 786 3

athlete athletics attraction attractive chase cocktail events figure figures fitness flirt flirtations flirting gatherings hit hitting introductions jog jogging leisure love marathon marathons meets mingling on parties party pickups run running scenes sex sexual social socializing sports stick woman 165615 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Peter Mueller (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 787 3

actually bathrobe captionless carriers computer computers e-mail electronic email grizzled internet life mail mailbox mailbox-computer mailboxes man modern office outside pajamas post technology wanders 165616 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Unfortunately, you have what we call ‘no insurance.’ ”

Michael Maslin (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 788 3

can’t doctor doctors examination examining fitness get health insurance insured life m.d. medical medicine modern money ‘no nurse patient patients physician room soon tells treated well without 165617 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You know, when I get over my thing for bad boys, Chip, you’re going to be one of the first to know.”

William Hamilton (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 789 3

bare couch cross-eyed feet general knees know love man marriage men personalities personality proposals proposing reclining relationships says scenes stereotype stereotypical thing woman women 165618 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Go to accounting and crunch the numbers people.”

Frank Cotham (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 790 3

accountant accountants angry board boss business businessmen chairmen collar corporate crime criminals crunch department employee employer employment executive executives hulking members numbers occupation office offices profession professional tells white work 165619 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Since we don’t do payback dinners, how does eighty bucks sound for the reasonably decent evening I think we’ve all had?”

Michael Crawford (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 791 3

another bill check cost couple couple’s decent dining dinner favor friends general house instead leaves money offering parties party pay payback restaurants returning them 165620 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I can’t really talk about it. They’re all for secret sexual stuff.”

Peter Steiner (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 792 3

army asks attraction attractive chase classified cocktail decorations explain flirt flirting general generals hit hitting life medals military modern on parties party politics secret sex sexual top woman 165621 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“To avoid the tedium of this endless socializing, Eddie, I have decided, beginning Monday, to obtain all my future booze from Amazon.com.”

Jack Ziegler (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 793 3

anymore back bar bars bartender bartenders booze coming computers drinking empty expansion general internet into leisure life liquor man modern newspaper other products reading refers technolgy tedium tells won’t 165622 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I know I said I would marry you, but that was four hundred points ago!”

Richard Cline (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 794 3

affection bear because bonds bride brokers bull businessmen ceremony dollar domestic economy fall finance general groom investments life love man market marriage marry matrimony men modern money nuptial nyse people proposal proposals propose relations relationships rescinds rich rise romance stock stocks street wall wed wedding women 165623 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other.”

J.B. Handelsman (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 795 3

airplanes coffee consumerism customer drinking general hold kidding off paper phone representatives service taken telephones waiting woman 165624 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I have to go wee-wee.”

George Booth (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 796 3

army bathroom british cliche cliches days executed execution executions expressions guillotine language law man men olden play revolutionary rifles short surrounded urinate urination urine war wee-wee word words 165625 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And this is Daniel, who is busy working toward his degree in money.”

Robert Weber (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 797 3

business busy college diploma dollar economy education family finance friend general introduces introductions investments living market money mother room son sons stock studying 165626 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Alex Gregory (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 798 3

captionless consumerism counter different drinking fire general hydrant hydrants life modern regular service signs soda sparkling two types water 165627 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is the homework fresh?”

Danny Shanahan (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 799 3

animals asks best canines catchphrases cliche cliches cuisine dining dog doggie dogs eat eating eats education expressions food foods fresh friend general homework language man's meals pet pets play pooch puppies puppy restaurant restaurants school service waiter waiters waitress waitresses word words 165628 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“They suspect foul play.”

Peter C. Vey (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 800 3

black coffin death face foul funeral funerals general humor law look man mourners murder over parlor pillow pillows play police suspect 165629 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Leave your coats on the bed for collateral.”

William Haefeli (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 801 3

arrive beds coats cocktail collateral directs drinking ethics fancy friends general hostess leisure life man modern parties party their them woman 165630 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I hope you kept the box it came in.”

Barbara Smaller (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 802 3

arrive babies baby balloons box children complaint confronted department family general home hospital new parents return returns siblings skeptical stores toddler 165631 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Genetic engineering got us into this mess, and genetic engineering will get us out of it.”

Sam Gross (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 803 3

bloodhound bloodhounds clone cloning dna dogs engineering ground leash like make maze mazes mess mice miniature mouse people research science scientists sniffing technology their try two way 165632 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (11/8/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 804 3

after all anything bambi bambi’s basis behind belgian brown can cards cartoon cats cemeteries chast child children color congo curious dark death didn’t difficult don’t easy ethics even ever eye family fifi fine for general gets good grand grandfathers grandpa greeting had happened huh ingenuity isn’t keep know last learn let’s like little look looks mom mommy more need needs not nothing one over own page panel parents pet pets quick rack roz saw say see she she’s shield shot simply start stone store stripes switcheroo- sympathy their them there thinks union watch watching we’ll week what what’s where where’s why woods wrong years you’re 165633 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Sometimes I think he can understand every word we’re saying.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 805 3

across animals another chair communication couch dogs general husbands man marriage men one pets problems relationships sitting talking them understand woman women 165646 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 806 3

being browsing captive computer computers crime’ criminals held help internet man middle-aged porn porno pornography scene sex shouting sites sits spam table technology ‘the through web 165647 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Michael Maslin (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 807 3

apron beaujolais consumerism customer drinking liquor nouveau out shop shopping some stomps stores trends vendor waits while-u-wait wine 165648 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“When I actually was this age, I didn’t have much facial expression anyway.”

William Hamilton (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 808 3

age coffee expression face faces facial fitness friends life lift lifts medical middle modern over plastic surgery talks technology two woman 165649 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’ve got kind of a noir thing happening here, Manny. The girlie cigarette doesn’t exactly add.”

Michael Crawford (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 809 3

another cigarettes cigars crime criminal criminals fiction fitness friends general girlie guy leisure lights long macho mafia men noir one parties smoking thin type 165650 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m attracted to you, but then I’m attracted to me, too.”

Richard Cline (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 810 3

attract attracted attraction bar bars couple discussing drinking general language leisure love narcissism play problems psychology relationship relationships scenes their word 165651 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Please listen carefully, as my menu options have changed.”

J.C. Duffy (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 811 3

bed bedroom client dominatrix duffy escort general hooker language life menus modern play prostitutes prostitution sadomasochism scenes sex technology telephones whip word 165652 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is this what I want to be doing with my death?”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 812 3

angel angels another clichés cloud death heaven language life mythology one philosophy play religion word 165653 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Can I get you something to eat?”

Peter Steiner (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 813 3

africa animals background cliche cliches dates eat expressions female food gazelle general graze herd language lion lions male nature play restaurants social talking tigers wild word words 165654 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Tell me more about the years you spent in formaldehyde at Area 51.”

Frank Cotham (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 814 3

alien aliens applicant business-suited businessmen creatures employment formaldehyde job officer offices outer personnel sci-fi space travel 165655 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Luckily, none of the people inside appear to be celebrities.”

Alex Gregory (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 815 3

apartment broadcasts building celebrities celebrity ethics fame famous fire fires huge importance important journalists life media modern news reporter scene television urban 165656 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You are so stubborn.”

Mick Stevens (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 816 3

arrogance automobiles communication directions driven driver general going just male marriage men past problems psychology read relationships right road signs stubborn two way which woman women ‘wrong 165657 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This is Daddy, honey. That was Daddy’s office voice.”

Leo Cullum (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 817 3

answers businessmen children desk family fathers general life man men modern office offices parents phone relationships sitting telephones voice 165658 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

J.B. Handelsman (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 818 3

bad barbie-like cold daughter daughters dead death dolls fever fitness high ill illness jenny late life looking lou lovely mary medical medicine modern mother mothers patti running seriously she she’s stand three toys under-the- under-the-weather weather women 165659 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one’s wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini.”

Jack Ziegler (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 819 3

dining eating european explaining food futomaki general headphones japan japanese life male martini meal modern museum-style northern play recorders recording restaurant restaurants suit sushi tape technology tekkamaki trends wears 165660 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 820 3

actually again berlitz bright brush can’t children communication conferences’ creative different doing drummer education english fine general guide guides he’s homicidal into just kid’s language marches moron name needs none nuts parent-teacher parents people problems riot schools she’s skills stand teacherese teachers ‘the too translated translations very what’s 165661 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Edward Koren (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 821 3

brookside captionless cemeteries cemetery cigarettes cigars death fitness life medicine modern non-smokers non-smoking pointing restaurants sections signs smokers smoking toward 165662 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He killed in rehab.”

Danny Shanahan (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 822 3

actors addiction agent agents center comedian actor-client comedians comedy drugs entertainment -general hollywood killed life media medical medicine modern movies obstacles office offices problems producer producer’s rehab rehabilitate rehabilitation sells 165663 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I still say we should get a queen-size mattress— despite the obvious jokes it will invite among the sales staff.”

William Haefeli (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 823 3

beds consumerism couple department gay general homosexual jokes language life male mattresses men modern out play queen queen-sized relationships sale shopping size store stores tries word 165664 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is the rabbit cute?”

David Sipress (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 824 3

bunnies bunny cuisine cute dining dinner eating food high leisure man rabbit rabbits restaurants service waiter waiters wide-eyed woman 165665 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“There. Now it’s all on paper. Feel better?”

Charles Barsotti (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 825 3

animals contract contracts deal feeling general lawyers negotiating offices paper rabbit rabbits talking two wolves 165666 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Gahan Wilson (11/15/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 826 3

ability about acceleration adapt against been big bugs chain claim consumers corporations destroys dna down earth eat edibles efforts enact enemies engineering environment evolution export fiction fight’ ‘food food’s fruits gahan genes genetic genetically genetics hasn’t have helping hostile human-genome humanity imaginations increasing leads manipulate master may medicine modification nation’s natural occurred off only other our ourselves outcries over overactive panels program race result reversal right say science sci - entists serve similar slow suffer takes technology the them there they’re this unless us use vegetable vegetables wilson worry would 165667 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Good news, hon. Your doctor now has the right to recommend treatment.”

Mick Stevens (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 827 3

bureaucracy cartoonissue death decision doctors’ grave health husband’s incompetents insurance life medical modern not o’s obstacles one patients problems recent recommend recommendations refers restrict visits woman 165669 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“So what. Nobody lives forever.”

Edward Frascino (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 828 3

animals birds cartoonissue cigarette cigarettes cigars death farmyard fitness holidays live one smoking talking thanksgiving turkeys 165672 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Made it in six. Billed them for seven.”

Steve Way (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 829 3

bills cartoonissue catholic catholicism christ christian christianity creation deal ethics genesis god halo how large lawyers religion religious swung tells 165673 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ve just realized that the nagging little voice inside her head that she’ll hear for the rest of her life is mine.”

Barbara Smaller (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 830 3

babies baby bedside cartoonissue general hear hearing hospital hospitals maternity mine mother mothers nag nagging new psychology relationships visitor voices wards woman 165674 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You do the hokeypokey and you turn yourself around— that’s what it’s all about.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 831 3

approaches cartoonissue dance dancing eastern fakirs guru gurus hiker hokey hokeypokey holy lyrics men mountain pokey religions song tells top yoga 165675 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I want you to meet Dave. You’ll get a kick out of his money.”

Marisa Acocella (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 832 3

another art cartoonissue cocktail drink gallery introductions kick looking man money one parties relationships stylish woman 165676 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Don’t be silly. If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing fast!”

Michael Crawford (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 833 3

after bedroom cartoonissue consoles ejaculation fast man premature problems relationships scenes sex woman worth 165677 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Your father and I just want you to know that we’re behind you one hundred per cent should you decide to go back to being a dope addict.”

Nick Downes (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 834 3

addict addictive bed cartoonissue concerned cults decisions dope drugs fitness hari head krishna parents problems room shaved sitting tambourine teen-agers toga toson 165678 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The difference between a correction and a crash is usually your portfolio.”

Richard Cline (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 835 3

bear bonds brokers bull cartoonissue cliche cliches confers correction crash difference dollar economy employee employer expressions finance investments language market money nyse play portfolio stock stocks street wall word words 165679 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (1 of 14)

“Mom, I am not a billionaire! A billion is like a thousand million. I’m worth a hundred million. A hundred million is just a hundred million.”

William Hamilton (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 836 3

beatniks billion billionaire cartoonissue computer computers face front hippies internet language man million millionaires money mothers people phone play rich sits stubbly talking teen-agers word young 165680 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (2 of 14)

“Actually, right now I’m in retox.”

Leo Cullum (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 837 3

alcoholics another bar bars cartoonissue cliche cliches detox drinking expressions general language liquor man one play retox tramps word words 165681 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (3 of 14)

Jack Ziegler (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 838 3

abandoned abductee abductions alien anger candidate’s captionless car cartoonissue club clubs correctional country country-club creatures darting desert display driver driving endings escape facility first general great hollywood john language man mccain movies off other outer panel piss pissed presidential prisoners prisons problems public recent refers republican road saucer screaming second sedona sen shouting shows spa space speeds temper things third this three title travel unrealistic unseen washington yelling 165683 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (4 of 14)

“Shows you how much I know.”

Frank Cotham (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 839 3

bed cartoonissue covers death died doctor doctors education face hospital incompetents intern just know patient patients 165682 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (5 of 14)

Danny Shanahan (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 840 3

backpacks cartoonissue children chiropractor’s chiropractors down fitness general hallways heavy kids loaded medical nurse nurse’s offices past school schools teachers through walk 165686 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (6 of 14)

“Your editor wants to know if you have enough flexibility to just give up.”

Peter C. Vey (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 841 3

authors bestseller block book books cartoonissue cell chain-smoking computer computers fail failure flexibility front give literature manuscript phone portable publishers publishing stubbly telephones woman writer writers writing 165685 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (7 of 14)

“Are you sure this ice floe is going to pass by the nursing home?”

Sam Gross (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 842 3

age back cartoonissue death elderly eskimo eskimos family floes good-bye homes ice nursing regional relationships retirement shouts waving 165684 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (8 of 14)

“Now, that’s product placement!”

Robert Mankoff (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 843 3

advertisement advertisements advertising another art building cartoonissue commercials design designer empire enhanced enhancement erect erection executive executives general landmark looking marketing medical office one out performance phallic pill pills product running sex sexual state symbol symbolic vertically viagra virile virility window word 165687 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (9 of 14)

“Would the gentleman prefer an antidepressant?”

Christopher Weyant (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 844 3

angry antidepressant cartoonissue drug drugs general man medicine psychiatry psychology restaurants sitting table upper uppers waiter waiters wine 165688 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (10 of 14)

Peter Steiner (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 845 3

animals back cartoonissue eat eating farm feed feeding football general mother motherhood mothers piglets pigs sports suckling television watching 165690 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (11 of 14)

“Does this make me your bitch?”

Pat Byrnes (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 846 3

after bitch cartoonissue cliche cliches doctor doctors exam examination exams expressions glove homosexuals jail jailhouse language latex makes male pants patient patients performing play prison prisoners prisons proctologist proctology prostate reference removes sodomy word words 165689 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (12 of 14)

“It’s sort of like a compass, see, except that wherever you are in the world it points toward Connecticut.”

Victoria Roberts (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 847 3

always another assistants cartoonissue class cocktail compass digital inventions man mecca money opulence parties party people personal regional rich shows upper wealth wealthy which 165691 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (13 of 14)

“When the Court questions a witness, the witness is not permitted to reply, ‘Let’s not go there.’ ”

Donald Reilly (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 848 3

admonishes cartoonissue cliche cliches counsel’s court courthouse courtroom evading expressions go guilt guilty innocence innocent judge judges judicial juries jury language law lawyers legal ‘let’s not play question scenes stand system there trial witne ss woman word words 165693 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

THE FUNNIES (14 of 14)

“Mr. Brenson shed his skin this morning. Is it possible for you to reschedule?”

Michael Maslin (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 849 3

appointments arrives attorney attorney’s businessmen cartoonissue cliche cliches client desk expressions flattened floor general husk language law lawyers legal lies office play reception schedule shed skin snake snakes system word words 165692 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“When I grow up, I want to be rediscovered.”

Robert Weber (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 850 3

base boy cartoonissue children cliche cliches day discover expressions fall general girl grow language little play rediscovered swing tree word words 165694 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Edward Koren (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 851 3

automobiles before brookfield cartoonissue england ‘entering fishing general historic new parking problem quaint reads sign signs vacations village welcome 165695 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It says here that you gave a lot of money to both parties and neither expected nor received anything in return. Very nice, but we’ll have to put you in the crazy section.”

J.B. Handelsman (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 852 3

afterlife angel angels campaign cartoonissue cliche cliches crazy death democratic expressions financing gate gates halo heaven language man money nice pajamas party pearly peter peter’s play politics republican washington wings word words 165696 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“At least, we don’t have to sit through some big, prolonged trial.”

Jack Ziegler (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 853 3

adam angel angels angry banished bible cartoonissue catholic catholicism christ christian christianity cloud eden eve garden god hand looking original pointing problems prolonged religion religious sin trials 165697 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Goodbye, Masked Kid, and thanks for all the help!”

Gahan Wilson (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 854 3

boy cartoonissue children’s coin-operated cowboy cowboys family frontier general good-bye help horse into mechanical off outfit riding sidewalk-type sunset superheroes toys waves westerns 165698 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You make me want to be a better man, Olivia. Then maybe I could find somebody else.”

J.C. Duffy (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 855 3

better breakups cartoonissue celebrities coffee cup duffy famous general gets good holding jack line love man movie movies nicholson refers restaurant restaurants scenes table woman 165699 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We blew a fuse.”

George Booth (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 856 3

adjustments annoyed attached blew blown cartoonissue castle dr electricity fiction frankenstein frankenstein’s fuses igor ill-looking laboratory making monster monter nearby obstacles problems scientists shelly sick slab stands tells they’ve 165700 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He’s talking now, but only through his attorney.”

Liza Donnelly (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 857 3

another babies behind boy cartoonissue children cliche cliches couple expressions floor general jabout language law lawyer lawyers legal life modern parent play playing relationships small standing system talk talking word words 165701 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Lee Lorenz (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 858 3

ads affair and or another bill blow campaign campaigning candidate cartoonissue chair civil cliche cliches clinton club clubs dole election except expressions fellatio government group groups job language lewinsky man meetings members monica office official one oral organizations oval platform play political politicians politics pres president refers robert sen sex viagra washington word words 165702 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I can’t decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab.”

Mort Gerberg (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 859 3

another bench cartoonissue center college decide decision decisions drug drugs football game games medical one player problems rehab rehabilitation sitting sport sports students 165703 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

John O’Brien (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 860 3

asks attending bailiff bride brides captionless cartoonissue ceremony court courtroom divorce domestic each groom guest he she life love marriage marry matrimony modern nuptial people person proceedings relations relationships scenes seating ushers wed wedding weddings 165704 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards.”

Harry Bliss (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 861 3

apparently blackened burn burned burnt cartoonissue charcoal charred deer fire fireplace flamethrowers head home hunt hunter hunters hunting incompetents life modern one points torch trophies trophy wall 165705 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This may surprise you, Worthington, but I’m a man who believes that nothing in life is as important as family.”

David Sipress (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 862 3

across board boss business businessman businessmen cartoonissue chairmen child childhood children collar corporate desk desks employee employer employment executives families family framed general kids life members occupation office parent parenting parents photographs piled profession professional rearing relationships surprise white work 165706 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“The special, sir. Shall I spread it out or will you knock it over yourself?”

Charles Barsotti (11/22/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 863 3

beat brings can cans cartoonissue cusine customer dog dogs food full garbage general knock low restaurants special table trash waiter waiters 165707 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Actually, the attraction wasn’t freedom from religious persecution but, rather, the all-you-can-eat buffet.”

Christopher Weyant (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 864 3

all-you-can- american buffet came days dining dinner eat england explains family first food friends general history holiday holidays native new olden pilgrim pilgrims plymouth the politics religion restaurants settlers thanksgiving turkey why world 165710 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“He’s moving his campaign headquarters back to Paris. He wants to be closer to the French people.”

Frank Cotham (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 865 3

american campaigns days fields france general gore gore’s history horseback knee-deep leads military move napoleon napoleonic olden people political politicians politics presidential refers russia snow tennessee through troops vice-pres war washington 1657 1 1 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s our time of Thanksgiving.”

Sam Gross (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 866 3

before birds bow dinner down family god head holiday holidays its large mouth natives out pilgrims religion sticking thanksgiving turkey turkeys volcano volcanoes worship worshipping 165712 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We do all our own parenting.”

David Sipress (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 867 3

blocks brags child childhood children families family fathers floor friends general household husband husband’s kids leisure mother mothers parent parenting parents playing rearing son style yourself 165713 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go.”

William Haefeli (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 868 3

after background club gym dressed exercise getting guys gym gymnasiums health lifting locker men pumped relationships room their trainer walks weight weightlifing workout 165714 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

J.C. Duffy (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 869 3

animals apartment apparently buildings captionless cat cats city discovers donald duffy estate extremely feline felines general luxury manhattan mice mousehole neighborhoods new nyc owned pet pets real regional rodent rodents tall trump urban york 165715 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’m pretty sure it’s a jaybird.”

Danny Shanahan (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 870 3

bald bird birdhouses birds catchphrases cliches couple eats expression feeder feeders general jaybird langauge looks naked nude people plucked naked refers skin slogans their through time-worn window 165716 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Why is it that they always go around talking about how they earned their stripes?”

Ed Fisher (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 871 3

africa animals catchphrases cliches commenting earn field jungle jungles language monkeys nature savannah slogans stripes two variations wild zebras 165717 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“A red-figure volute krater attributed to a painter of the Syleus sequence! Maynard, you shouldn’t have!”

George Booth (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 872 3

antique antiques art artists artsy box collectors couple foot gift gifts history holidays husbands inside just krater circle kraters mansion marriage obscure opened painter painters people relationships rich staircase vase vases volute wealthy woman 1657 18 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 873 3

business captionless cents chain charts choice choosing clothing diagrams diphtheria don’t dressed dysentery ethics events examine fashion forget garment getting guts have hour hate label labels made men’s mexico thailand morning multiple one people politics probably put read realize results see shirt stupid sweatshops three was where while worse earned yankee 165719 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women.”

Leo Cullum (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 874 3

acting age doctor doctors examination finding fitness general get health hollywood life m.d. medical medicine middle modern movies not nurse odds off organs parts patients physician plays roles shortage soon surgeon surgery tells transplants well woman 1657 2 0 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I wish you’d get into the spirit of this thing, Brewster!”

Gahan Wilson (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 875 3

annoyed appreciate asking cell condemned convict correctional crime criminals death escape escorting ethics execution executions facility gravity guards happily incarcerate incarcerated incarceration jail man penalty prison prisoners prisons situation sm iling spirit two warden 165721 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Please be patient with me, Christopher. The arts are an important part of my life!”

Edward Koren (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 876 3

above apartment art artist artistic artwork beatniks block float general hippies humanities ideas longhaired man muses music musicians plastic problems theatre theatre oratory them woman writer’s writers writing 165722 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“This séance may be monitored and recorded for quality-control purposes.”

Michael Maslin (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 877 3

ball crystal customer disclaimer fortune general gypsy into life line modern parlor peer phone predict prediction pseudo-science quality-control séance service technology telephones tellers 165723 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich.”

Michael Crawford (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 878 3

being class daddies daddy dares date dating digger fashionable gold hungry limo man men money older opulence people relationships rich sugar upper wealth wealthy woman women 165724 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“As we all know, the Christmas party is coming up. Are we all thinking about fun spaces?”

Richard Cline (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 879 3

board boss business chairmen christmas cocktail collar corporate employee employer employment events executives four fun gatherings general holidays leisure meeting meetings members men mingling occupation office offices parties party presents profession professional season social socializing think thinking white woman work 165725 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You can’t keep living in the past. Maybe it’s time you started killing other people.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 880 3

advises burial cemeteries cemetery crime dark death divorce ethics friend funeral grave graveyard humor husband husbands kill killed killer live living meet meeting mourning murder murderer not plot stands tomb tombstone wake widow woman 165726 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Careful, kiddo. A lot of junk mail looks first class.”

Charles Barsotti (11/29/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 881 3

bar barroom bars bartender beer booze class drinking envelope envelopes fake fakes female first flirtations fraud general house junk leisure letter letters life love mail men modern office pickups post postage postal postman psychology pub public relationships scenes tavern two women 165727 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s the millennium, so maybe we should plan something special for New Year’s Eve.”

Jack Ziegler (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 882 3

celebrate celebrating celebration cell convict convicts correctional crime criminals discuss escape facility general holidays incarcerate incarcerated incarceration jail millennium plans prison prisoners special their two y2kholiday 165728 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If there is anyone who objects to this union, either here or on the Internet, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

John Caldwell (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 883 3

cameras ceremonies ceremony computers general hats head live minister novelty over performs piece technology television webcam webcams wedding weddings 165729 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Stop complaining. Who isn’t broke?”

Marisa Acocella (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 884 3

bags broke complain complaining consumerism down expensive fashion fashionable loaded money people rich shopping stores two women young 165730 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Tom Cheney (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 885 3

all around brokers computer computers falling geek globe globes inside instead internet market money sits snow stock stocks 165731 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I’ll say a normal word, then you say the first sick thing that pops into your head.”

J.C. Duffy (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 886 3

activity association couch crazy does duffy insane insanity normal patient problems psychiatrists psychologists psychology psychotherapist sanity sick therapist therapy word 165732 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“No, we are not twins.”

Marisa Acocella (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 887 3

age aisle baskets gay glasses holding homosexuals identical life look-alikes looking men modern shopping supermarket supermarkets talking twins two wearing woman 165733 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It was just that one time that you won the Nobel Prize, wasn’t it, dear?”

Mort Gerberg (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 888 3

award chair discusses friend general honor husband husband’s husbands marriage medal newspaper once one pipe relationships seats wife 165734 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“All these people you invited— are they friends or just inventory?”

Richard Cline (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 889 3

cliche cliches cocktail events expressions gatherings introductions language leisure man mingling parties party play relationships social socializing talking two women word words 165735 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 890 3

arithmetic benches best blinds books bread bucks buy change children clean couple english experiment find four general get go grimy grocery guide home ‘homeschooling’ hours house kid leave lessons like long make math mathematics milk observe pack park parks part people read reading return right room scenes school schooling schools science social staying store stores studies sure tareytons teachers ten them till tv venetian way 165736 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Unfortunately, my crime spree occurred just before today’s level of incompetence set in at the F.B.I.”

Jack Ziegler (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 891 3

above armed bureau bureaucracy cell convict correctional crime crimes criminals discuss discussing escape facility federal guard incarcerate incarcerated incarceration incompetents inmates investigation jail prison prisoners them two watchtower yard 165737 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Gosh, I wish somebody would tell me to take early retirement.”

Charles Barsotti (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 892 3

age been businessmen early envies executive fire firing general just management older retired retirement tells unemployment young 165738 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I know he’s in here somewhere!”

Gahan Wilson (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 893 3

around babies baby baptise baptism baptismal baptisms both ceremony children churches clergy clergyman drown drowning fishing font hands incompetents infant missing priest religion religious somewhere water 165739 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mick Stevens (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 894 3

above accidents assembly days factories general group gun guns hardhatted job line lines making on-the-job postal reads shoot shooting shot sign signs violence weapon weapons widgets without workers 165740 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit.”

William Hamilton (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 895 3

brings cocktail conversation crime criminals date dates death dinner family fathers kill killer murder murderer parents parties party relationships slow social woman young 165741 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either.”

Robert Weber (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 896 3

any discuss dollar earn failed failure father fathers internet life make modern money multibillion people problems profit refers rich son son’s startup wealthy web website which yet 165742 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Purchase or lease?”

Bernard Schoenbaum (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 897 3

approaches automobiles autos car cars children cliche cliches consumerism drive driving expressions father full-size general language lease play refers sale salesman salesmen shopping son store stores toy toys word words 165743 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (12/6/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 898 3

all chast children general grain home internet links page pages related roz sand’ shows topics universe ‘welcome 165744 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Ziegler (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 899 3

coffee crime demonstrations foreign full gear general organization police protest regional riot seattle starbucks stop trade trashed two wake washington world wto 165746 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’re about ready to play ‘Meet Your Maker,’ but, first, let’s meet the recently deceased.”

Michael Maslin (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 900 3

afterlife angel angels appear called cliche cliches compete death expressions game gates guests halo heaven heavenly hosted language ‘meet pearly peter play show shows television three wings word words 165747 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’re still a damn good race when it comes to catching a cab.”

William Hamilton (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 901 3

around being cabs cats club clubs controversy ethnicity fat four get group groups meetings members men’s minorities obstacles organizations over people problems race racism racist recent refers rich sitting stop taxis them unable urban 165748 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“But we’re not homeless. We’re on a camping trip.”

David Sipress (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 902 3

bag bedraggled beggar beggars box bum bums camping city confronted cop corner environment general giuliani hobo hobos homeless homelessness landscape landscapes life mayor nature new outdoor outdoors people police poor poverty quality rudolph sleeping street tramp tramps two york 165749 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Mort Gerberg (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 903 3

bells church dame fitness guys gym gyms health hunchback notre other pull quasimodo rings weightlifting weights while 165750 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Maybe you could make the hunter more likable.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 904 3

acting art artist artwork cavemen critic critical criticism director general hunting likable like liked liking one other painted publishers scene two wall writers 165751 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Roz Chast (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 905 3

bitch cap caps child classroom cliche cliches corner dunce education expressions ‘in just language play pupil says school schoolroom schools sits stool student students teach teacher teachers teaching wears word words world 165752 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Bad sex! Bad, bad, bad sex!”

Danny Shanahan (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 906 3

animals bedroom being best canines cliche cliches dog doggie dogs expressions female friend general language lover male man's pet pets play pooch puppies puppy scenes scolds sex talking word words 165753 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“His life was hanging by a thread, and then somebody fed him the bean burrito.”

Frank Cotham (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 907 3

attempts bean bereaved burial burrito cause cemetery comfort cuisine death doctor doctors food funeral general grave graveyard hospital hospitals husbands low medical mourning plot room tomb tombstone waiting wake weeping woman 165754 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s good for my image.”

Charles Barsotti (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 908 3

another behind cliche cliches dog dogs expressions general health highness image king language majesty master mediaeval medieval monarch monarchy one owner pet pets play pooper regal royal royalty ruler sanitation scooper sire trails walking word words 165755 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“My only regret in life is that I never had a brainchild.”

Leo Cullum (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 909 3

babies brainchild businessmen career children cliche cliches executives expressions general ideas intelligence language office play regret smart two women word words 165756 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“We’re in H.M.O.s—the closest to legit we’ve been in years.”

Bernard Schoenbaum (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 910 3

business crime criminal criminals crook doctors gang gangster gangsters general guys health insurance latest legal mafia mob mobster mobsters o’s restaurant rob robber robbery talk their thief thievery thieves ventures wise 165757 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Alex Gregory (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 911 3

askance baseball beer bring brother brother-in-law cans cap daughter daughters day’ downs drinking fitness general law looks man national office smokes t-shirt work workers 165758 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Is this it? Are we going to spend the rest of our lives flailing around in the growing gap between rich and poor?”

William Hamilton (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 912 3

around back bottle class economics fights flailing glass holding man marital middle money people relationships rich sits stands table wife wine 165759 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Don’t knock over the frozen embryos.”

J.B. Handelsman (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 913 3

babies donors egg embryos food freezer frozen general husband husbands infertility not refrigerators reproductive rummages technology through warns wife 165760 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Now that I’ve wiped him out, I kind of miss the little peg-legged bastard.”

Gahan Wilson (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 914 3

ahab alongside captain characters dick fictional harpoons herman literature melville miss missing moby other reminiscing stuck swims whale whales 165761 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.”

George Booth (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 915 3

carols christmas claus frankenstein frankenstein’s general halloween hat holidays igor lyrics monster monsters presents santa season sing song wearing 165762 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Jack Medoff (12/13/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 916 3

box bureaucrat cathedral cliche cliches executives expressions inski language office outski play red regional russia russian square st vasily view word words 165763 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Peter C. Vey (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 917 3

alcohol alcoholic alcoholism approaches army beggars bell blood captionless christmas claus don’t drink drinking drunk for general give have holding i inebriated intoxicated liquor man money” “please poor reads: reindeer ringing salvation santa santa’s s ell sidewalk sign signs so street to wine winter 165764 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

Robert Mankoff (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 918 3

boss build businessmen captionless damn davis desk employee general images inertia just lazing mental momentum office offices pick starting thinking was workers yells 165765 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Get some of the firm’s other deadwood and form a carolling group.”

Leo Cullum (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 919 3

board boss business businessmen carollers chairmen christmas claus collar corporate deadwood employee employer employment executives expendable general holidays members occupation office ‘other presents profession professional santa season singing song songs tells white work 165766 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“Sorry I’m late. I had a bug.”

Mort Gerberg (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 920 3

arrives baby because bug cliche cliches computer computers day expressions father illness internet language late new play sick sickness time word words y2k year year’s 165767 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I always wondered who got my transplant.”

Gahan Wilson (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 921 3

cliche cliches cocktail events expressions female gatherings gender head heads introductions language leisure male man medical medicine meets men mingling parties party play sexes social socializing transplant woman women word words 165768 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“And will you, Lee, take Mimi for granted as long as you both shall live.”

William Hamilton (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 922 3

affection anglican bride catholic ceremonies ceremony christian churches cliche cliches domestic episcopal expressions groom language lawfully-wedded love marriage marry matrimony men minister ministers nuptial performs play propose protestant relations relationships religion romance taken wed wedding weddings wife women word words 165769 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“I was once a very beautiful woman, but forty years of reading the ‘Times’ has taken its toll.”

Robert Weber (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 923 3

age bar bars baseball beautiful cap drinking elderly end general haggard heavily journalism life made-up man medial modern new newspapers other robert talking ‘times’ weber women york 165770 THE COMPLETE1999 CARTOONS OF THE NEW YORKER

“You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here’s a little toe-tapper.”

J.C. Duffy (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 924 3

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Roz Chast (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 925 3

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“It’s so silly. Now I can’t even remember why I killed him.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 926 3

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“Only time will tell whether this merger makes sense or not.”

Peter Steiner (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 927 3

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“If we’re being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendations that cost you money.”

Leo Cullum (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 928 3

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“I got married—I finally realized I’m event-driven.”

Richard Cline (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 929 3

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“Oh, look, dear—crime’s back!”

Danny Shanahan (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 930 3

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“We found the spare key under the welcome mat.”

Frank Cotham (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 931 3

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“All this talk of Viagra and penile implants reminds me of a charming story about my own penis.”

Jack Ziegler (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 932 3

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“Do your owners treat you well? Mine are very kind.”

J.B. Handelsman (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 933 3

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“But why can’t we question authority together?”

Barbara Smaller (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 934 3

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“You tell me if the roast beef is fresh.”

Harry Bliss (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 935 3

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“Your Honor, has anyone ever told you what a wry, sensuous mouth you have?”

Michael Crawford (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 936 3

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“Do you have any idea who it is you’re talking to?”

Peter C. Vey (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 937 3

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Matthew Diffee (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 938 3

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“I come from the future.”

David Sipress (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 939 3

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Victoria Roberts (12/20/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 940 3

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“What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?”

Alex Gregory (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 941 3

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Jack Ziegler (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 942 3

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Peter C. Vey (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 943 3

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Mick Stevens (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 944 3

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“If you would, Peter, please stand and point to the person you know as Mr. McGregor.”

Michael Maslin (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 945 3

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“Oh no, not homework again.”

Arnie Levin (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 946 3

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Michael Shaw (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 947 3

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“Something this big.”

Gahan Wilson (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 948 3

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“You’ve been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone.”

William Haefeli (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 949 3

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“What do you think sitting around being bored out of your mind will be like in the new millennium?”

Robert Mankoff (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 950 3

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Tom Hachtman (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 951 3

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Michael Crawford (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 952 3

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“Hi. I’m Wendell, Jr. I’m six and I’m fully invested.”

Bernard Schoenbaum (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 953 3

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“Haven’t you got anything a little more, like, ironic?”

William Hamilton (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 954 3

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Roz Chast (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 955 3

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“I’d better bring in my plants.”

Frank Cotham (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 956 3

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Peter Steiner (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 957 3

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“Trophy husbands.”

Marisa Acocella (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 958 3

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“I’ve cleaned out the garage—now may I file for divorce?”

Victoria Roberts (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 959 3

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“They never should have allowed us to be free-range.”

Benita Epstein (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 960 3

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William Steig (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 961 3

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“She’s registered at Salomon Smith Barney.”

Mort Gerberg (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 962 3

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“Try falling down and scraping your knee. Then you can talk to me about pain.”

Bruce Eric Kaplan (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 963 3

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“I think what I miss most is robbing people.”

David Sipress (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 964 3

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“We believe that in a former life she was an editor.”

Sam Gross (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 965 3

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“Funny, funny, funny, but we’re going to pass on ‘How to Drink and Drive.’ ”

Robert Mankoff (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 966 3

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“I start every diet with the best intentions, but it goes to hell as soon as I sense blood in the water.”

Charles Barsotti (12/27/1999) Return to Main Menu 3 7 967 3

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