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REDS INVADE CAMPUS!• STORY ON PAGE THREE DOWN WITH THE FAREWELL DEMOCRACY YELLOW PERILP ACHES VOL.3TEEHEE FORT WORTH, TEXAS, FRIDAY, MAY 1. 1936. ~ TE TEXAS CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY
DISCHARGED.STORY ON PAGE THREE
CHAIN GANG REVOLTS! STORY ON PAGE FOUR
CANNED COACHES
Stewdent Speed Demons Arrested
Field Baughman and Clev "Hare a drink" (Editor's note: milk) Bachman were arrested yesterday as they sped down the road back of the campus. The winner was to receive s date with Mrs. Baurice Hove. Dr. Bayle Scott was also in the race in his '27 Rolls Ruff, bat he saw the cops coming, and be must be somewhere near Canada by now.
"Jarvis H*ll" He is quite nice looking with "Is this the girls' dormitory!*' blue eyes and blond hair. He does'rit "Yes" T mind living with a 100 girls in Prof. Marshall "Does Jon Miller live there T" the least. He hails from San An- "Yes, he does." eelo. This is a true conversation that If you should like to know some- took place this week. Yes, Jarvia thing more about him go to Jarvia. Makes Speech hall has a male resident for the and ask for him. He'll be there. Oh, first time in the history of the yes, I might tell you that he is 12 STORY ON PAGE THREE school. years old. MAN LIVING IN JARVIS HALL STORY ABOVE
I ball tut his career was nneT ,;er] on Monday. ■~pmT^i. ■r^^■s»^■»^^■^>^'*^'»■■»»"^ . I of a to* injury received in football Fro™, he Bt •nt »YI the Heath cham- .While in Huntsville this writer ; of the University of Texaa by Conrad [ by the Dana Preaa Club, which will tor nex\ year at me Saturday session den. ry Frances Umbenhour, Billington has been aponaor of the day afternoon in. her camp „,„ u j be held from 4 to 6:30 o'clock Friday of the meeting held laat week-end 'at president ihnpunced Monday. club for many year*. I «ral Wells.
Friday, May I, 193c, Page Two THE YfiLLQW PERIL ANNUAL DESTROYED BY FIRE THE YELLOW PERIL PehHsaul Every Century Vacuum Cleaner Football, Soaps Philomon Bachus ..Chief News Scupper Upper Saul Undertoa Walkings _ .Jipper Outer of Money Travis Griffin must have taken * boy out of Jarvls the other night Born io Blaze Blessing Baloney t .._ ..—. Chief Censor up fencing to defend his virtue. because her "Dallas Man" was ex- Blushing Delirous Columnist ..- —..: Sassy Additor The football and snapshot sec- "Just Gwen" Popinoff ..Our Foreign Correspondent He needs protection 'since he pected. Assault Humble teas . Srror Writer Downer rushes every new gal on the camp- Tillie Manton likes to help Mary tions of the annual were destroyed Liuie Booster Changeable Writer us. How does he know that these Frances Bibbs practice on third by fire Thursday night as this p«. pen went to press. Pass-Out Dairy ..Some Class, Eh What? strange women haven't got de- floor ad building every night Thelf ire started while Bacus was BEST NOSES FOR NEWS signs? . . . Ki Aldrich ditched the Sopho- Horn-in Ohgee, I'm So Skinny Ryan, Lady Esther, Powder, Bah Dorothy Pope can get Margaret mores by taking a screen off Clark completing" the final two sections Raw Bones, I'm Justs Village, I See Plenty, Geery Whatsome. Hadley's man away from her any Halle third story and walking of the yearbook. Being weary, he P.S.—Raymond Miehero . , j_ Outa Town was smoking a camel to give him WE AINT RESPONSIBLE time,' so says Dorothy, Got a car, along the edge. ... I think death Dot? That's all that's necessary, at the hand of the sophs to prefer- a lift when he suddenly became to or to it? able to tiie flowerbeds of Clark. weary that he couldn't hold the Editorial Policy Lady-Killer Hensch was o. k. the weighty cigaret any longer. Being cynical, as ail journalists are supposed to be, we dost be- We wonder how the Soow-Con- The glowing stub dropped on the first of the year, but it seems that nor case is developing and we hope lieve a thing that is printed in this paper. Having worries of our own all of the dames failing around his annual sheets. Bacus Was really we Just cant be bothered about whether you do or do not. If you Pete has^found his ideal girl. concerned, but he Was just too neck has increased his hesdstoe of Van Patric freslrfrom the hills have any complaints to make, make them to the faculty as they forced tote. tired to pnt the fire out of Arkansas has a lot of what it The editor felt sure that the stu- as to edit this gossiper. There's a "contented cow" takes to get along. Van works all dents Would not care if these two President Waits is to blame. His birthday just didn't agree with among the fish since dara Shel- night, goes to school all day and sections of the annual were miss- him at all. He demanded that such a paper be issued. We're all outa ton known all the answers and tells courts all evening. . . . how do ing. After a short conference with town anyway. all the teachers what to do. these Arkansas boys do it? Pete Wright and Dean Hall, it was What to that Hidden Charm that Paul Ridings is slipping or decided to publish' the annuals Doris Roberts has for Melvin Tay- Faculty Mistreated ' falling. He used to think nothing without the football and snapshot Matters have gone TOO far. The condition has become worse every lor T of going to McKinney, but now be section*. ' day. Something must be done. It must be done NOW—TODAY. Proxy Roberts has said, when has her come over. . Sorely we think dust it is all right for the students to have some weuns tried to collect a little hush, Tom Pickett calls Bill Hudson control, but when things reach the point where a faculty member money, that he would just be only the Jeep and we can see a resem- trembles every time that a student looks him in the aye, the time too glad vo have bis name in our blance. 3?iK tWhotas has come for action. famous publication. Now we all know that little Hairy is a nice Mildred Weekly made the W. A Teachers are afraid to give less than an "A." This is fine for A' camp but she hasn't- forgiven sweet boy but we ask him WHO IS the students, bat it is inhumane for the teachers to have to fear the Mabel???? We have a Mabel all tho guy that almost kspt her at students in the great way in which they do. bur own on the campus bat Un- home under the CAMPUSED ban. And poor little Miss Major. Ah, that is a most pitiful case. The less she resides at the elite Pal- Don MeLeland seemingly can't big boys *a her class bully her so, that she is afraid even to assign ace Hotel then our little Mabel to keep up the speed these football a lesson. Tiny Godwin even threw a book at her when she was so not the- one. captains use. He made Esther Tur- bold as to tell him to recite a poem. It seems that Hairy forgot to ner forget Capt Joe Coleman but Since students have taken matters into their own bands, Miss call so Mabel calls and leaves the it seems Walter Roach, the new Shirley has been deprived entirely of the charming society of Leroy message on, of all places, the bully- .captain, hits the spot Tough luck, Gideon and Russell Hensch. These two men about town have even tin board. Woe is Hairy! . . . Don. taken the key to the English office from this ooy, golden haired, lit- It would seem, fellow imbeciles, Frank .Floyd doesn't believe that tle school num. They are even threatening- blackmail. _, that Tigrahs are running around blondes can burn your fingers be- The Pattoa-Wyaa House- Dr. True has been informed most rudely by his history students loose over the campus. This one cause he even risks his arms with hold as the. newly marrieds that he is a punk teacher. Male students are keeping girls out until is harmless but his mouth wags at the Parrot (Anne). have their daily chat all hour* vi the morning. both ends and he gets oh so mad Bob Barrel, as Poss was giving We beseech the Student Council to help the down trodden fac- when he misses those little white him a rub down, said Helen Martha ulty! balls that just will go past him on Green gave him a better rub down the old diamond. He immediately than that every night Students Demand Rights begins whimpering and goes to Thad Gregory can't decide be- papa who has already had one ar- tween blondes and brunettes. With gument due to the pink cast on his blondes on his mind this week he News(?)Putos dome. has dated with Mary Frances Hut- Jimmy, of the House of David, ton and Grace Matthews. It'll be to an ardent poetry lover but he brunets next week he hopes—var- has his moments. He almost made iety to spice or something. a fatal mistake, however, in the) Barbra Ann Arnold and Paul army game Monday and the big Tsnkersley were playing "Wahoo1 guy with the wad of tobaccy dis- at the Drug Store last week—By torting one side of his face resent- the way—have you heard the one Raymond Upacoab—with ed. Wonder what the cherubic about "wahoo?" ' •mile he never ha*. James called him ??? ? Charles McDonald cam* all the If students cant do there court- Too bad that the "Clean up the way to T. C. U. to be near Ann ing on the benches on the campus, campus campaign" never got under Parrott and then decided he liked where are they expected to do it? way. Guess they couldn't get any- Maxine Cutter better—in fact, so Someone had the idea that it one to pay for their flit artillery. njuch better that he sends, her gar- would be a good thing for couples Any ho Martha (I never wash my denias. not to be allowed to sit on the face) Michael and her partner in benches at night. Donkey Roberta as he la- crime Maty Elizabeth Mummycon- Well, this hasn't proved to be bors amidst cans of beans and naU would afford real material for a good idea. It only means that sacks of potatoes. the crusaders. Wonder what they couples are going to sit In park- really do look like without the war ed cars or are going to sit on the' paint?? TT curb at the side of the library. Lennon Blackmon to always The benches were such a lovely looking, for someone to play house place to alt at night. ' It is a with him. Careful girls, he to a Little Willie Groaeclose do- shame thst the students have been dangerous man. Jean FalHs Stow winning driven from them. Imogens Townsley has trouble her way hubby's heart via his ing hi* Saturday night work- We demand that the students with T. C, U. sheik* when the stomach. out be given the privilege of courting years home town boy friend arrives on any time, any place, anyhow. the scene. She practically pushed MEN'S STYLE NOTES 50 STUDENTS EXPELLED Long famed for immaculate cording te the campus rule. dress and Chesterfieldian manners, The ties that they don't wear T. C. U. male* have recently been are always in harmony with their Oh, the shame, to* disgrace! to hall monitor and also a vicious ability that within the next week elected "Beau Brummels of Amer- costume. Golf' sox . or the more Fifty students expelled for gross history paper grader (his tost the case, may be appealed to the ica" in a recent ballot which was popular fashion of bare legs are crimes from our great and majestic name to Toler) has been booted out highest Court for Courtin'. judged by stars of stage and ill the rage. Murder hss been Texas College for the Unbalanced. of the Criminal University for The other cases are being wprk- screen, as well as fashion design- committed for lea* than accusing The names of these unhappy vic- holding a Birdie's foot, ed on by that famous criminal law- ers. » boy o' owning garters. The boys tims are being kept for obvious -Two famous Ail-American lovers yer, J. B. Trimble, who to manng A T. a U. boy has never been refusn to allow their record to be and unmentionable reasons. ,Ons have finally been reprimanded for every effort to bring about justice known to attend classes without smugfed. poor wretch (who looked lute Ped mugging in public, drug store, and free the innocent as wetl as being drosaed in the height of J. :Huh-huh Smith Is acknowl- journalism office, and main hall Rarea) was caught touching a fair the guilty that the fair name of fashion. Baggy corduroys, always edged to be the only sloppy b«v and told to leave at enc*. maiden's Illy white band with his our Tsxas College for the Unbal- on the campus, appearing often in There has been much done to get impressed to the proper mode. Chic big repulsive hairy paw. Ugh! the anced may once again be unsmirch- sweat shirts, sneakers and house silk shirts and suede shoes. His their sentences commuted and conservatism and old fashioned Brute! ed by the blot of crime of courtin' shoes form the nucleus of every though the hope for pardon seems style* make hbu the campus out- A young unfortunate chap who a|d foot holding. very-slim, there to a slight prob- well-dressed man's wardrobe, ac- cast
• f making u a pleasure andtfw p,000,000 Union Building To Be Erected By Students [Hewatt Accused SKurly Donates Of Murder Two Bite (25c) Prof Willis Hewatt has been I dinged with murdering, nine pec- A tremendous enterprise is at present getting under way on this ,le in the biology Ub yesterday. He was last seen with the nine most famous of campuses in the I people an hour before the bodies entire Southwest. The students of I were discovered. The mangled con- this up and ooming University are I dition of the bodies made it impos- raising money to build a gorgeous, sible for them to be identified. •olossal edifice on the side of the Mrs. Hewatt was in a bereaved campus where the beautiful Mary [■condition and their children will Couts Burnett library now stands. (probably be tent to an orphans' They have set as their goal II,- I home- Mm. Hewatt, stated that OQO.OOO and plan to call it The I the would start taking in washing Union Building. This thoroughly original idea is I to P»y 'or ***• *H*t kwye™ in the [country to defend her hus- still more original when one comes I band. The damaging evidence to think that these students are [■gainst her husband has Hot les- planning to erect this building | sened her trust in him. with their own hands. The serv- President B. Bf. Waits said that ices of the most famous of archi- | under the conditions school would tects has been obtained. Bill Scott | have to be dismissed for the re- and Travis Griffin, working in p*er- [mainder of the year. Full credit fect harmony, as usual, are rap- I will be given in all classes, how- idly completing the blue prints for lever.' The president said that he the students. Work will begin im- mediately upon the completion of | regretted the incident and that the _i« flag would, remain at half mast the plans. [for the rest of the school year. These students are really doing the parents of the massacred a wonderful work. The members students have taken up a petition of the committee for raising the to burn T. C. U. to the ground for money reported that the faculty, the tragedy and preparing to hang as a whole, have been exceptional- Prof. Hewatt themselves if the ly generous. That most generous I courts find him guiltless. of all faculty members Miss Slor- Prof. Hewatt was released yes- raine Lerrley contributed the ! terday on a bond of friendship and amazing sum of two bits (26 refused an Interview with report- cents to the unenlightened) to our ers who swarmed around his house. noble cause. Dr. Gayle Scott and Dr. W. M. That most enterprising of hot Winton are to be the chief wit- air dispensers, that master, master nesses for the plaintiff. The law- mind among midgets, K. O. (Knock- yer for this side is said to have a out) Toler will lead the workers. surprise witness who will appear He Will tell them when and when at this trial. not to strike and who and when to -The lawyer for the defense is picket His voice from the side- valiantly trying to uncover clues lines of anything has always been that will lead to further evidence awe inspiring and that accounts in the case. for^ his selection for this important It is believed that the nine peo- DEATH AND DESTRUCTION FACE Coaches Fired post ple murdered belong to that fa- The building will be used irt mous family, Pussy Oat. dances and other social events CAMPUS AS REDS INVADE! Coaches L. D. "Dutch" Meyer which will take place In the future. and Raymond "Bear" Wolf were It will be a modernistic structure Death and destruction are lurk- Gym for ^he leader of the army, fired last week for breaking the and will be painted in delicate ing in every corner of the campus. who is rumored to be a giant and rules of the University. hues of red, black and white. A vast army has been leaving a More Marshall very found of human meat. Coss Wolf waa accused of smoking Foe Jinley has been appointed streak Of red behind it from Jar- Plark is giving his track team in the main hall of the Administra- head of the construction end of the vis to Brite College. Bull daily workouts up and down the tion and was given his walking work- • He will be second only to At Jarvis several brave knights steps, in an effort to keep the orders without any argument on Toler in authority. such as Rester Lickman, K. 0. team from fainting from fright his part or that of Pete Wright, Students who will attend T. C. U. Flash—Dr. Alphalpheus Field- (Knock Out) Toler, Way Rester Brite College has been vacated who had the honor of canning the in the future will be able to look Marshall, renowned lecturer, holds and Bon Bossey have barred the and the students and faculty mem- coaches. proudly upon the building and say class without bringing his book. doors against the angry. They bers have fled to higher ground, Meyer was accused of using pro- that someday they will be great The famous reader decided to have resolved to let no one either helpless in the power of the rag- fanity. It is rumored that Dutch men and maybe a* great as the change from the regular order of leave or enter the Hen House. ing band. Prexy Waits is held said "darn" in the presence of a men who built the magnificent the class and give the students a Clark Hall is the most terrified captive by the bend and the brave couple of ladies who were passing structure. break by-reading one of his own building. The freshmen have fled little Horned Frog is making a the gymnasium Tuesday. Students, we salute you on this compositions rather than reading home to mother. The disappear- valiant effort to save him for the The members of Goode Hall your great "undertaking." Good from the text book. ance of" Hi Kaldrich is due, not to school. If he succeeds he has been threatened lynching, but were de- The' students were overcome luck in all of the rest of similar the annual banquet, but to this promised the hand of little Miss feated in their attempt when the *ith Joy. The attendance in^Jlle achievements. threatening invasion. Minnie Lizard in holy wedlock. coaches' wives appeared with dou- class waa excellent for the day O ■u.J.i.ii, The teachers are having food Take a tip and flee for your ble-barreled shot guns to defend and at least'three-fourths of the dropped to them f-om airplanes life, for the red ant army is march- their husbands. class was there for the 9 o'clock and are marooned in the Main. ing on toward the school and has The "Yellow Peril" is for the class by 8:46. Building. Prof. Few D. Lallis has gained ground as far as the Field side that wins. Our slogan is "WE The lecture was all about the bounced up to aid the campus and House. PRINT THE NEWS BE IT BIG new deal andifrom the paper read, pledged himself to the aid of the Ant life grand 1 OR BAGGY." the students surmised that' the faculty. Miss Sholaine Lerly was Doctor is an'ardent follower of seen reading poetry. Such Amo- Lots Atkinson leading the W. A. A. Hike. Ely Culbertaon. zanish women as Miss Maple Eng- lish and Miss Slide Braggins have Nearest taken up arms. (Whose arms we Stand on :ST ARTS ; are not allowed to reveal). Park Place MAJESTIC Goode is the best protected of all »»« SATURDAY M# ~gxr- WILL the buUdings. Big Brave Joe Find- America's Motor Lunch GINGER ROGERS ley is protecting such poor scared All Kinds of Sandwiche» students as Larrell r>ister, Gilson ROGERS FREDASTAIRE Wroscecloae,-4ima>y Jarence and IN Linny pitching hard. IN Ganuel Modwin. Through the brav- Be Sure twirly—bad ball. A Connecticut ery shown by this valiant son of "FOLLOW THE T. C. U., It is hoped that these Yankee scared students will realize their FLEET' weakness and fight shoulder to John Jones and his gal at their annual session at the HARRIET Hl'ixiARD head with-their leader. Grade-A Pasteurized Milk Hollywood . RANDOLPH BCOTT Prof. Sprbuse is gunning in the drug.
l„,s jurirur 'year '*<" v»tvea»wit*< ..Ar.r- tu ueai Jacinto Battle Grounds in Houston1 WhileYT I|11C in111 Austinnusiiii thevtiv gleejKirv iiuvclub mem-mciii- luwan 'to near nowit ball but bis career was brief because ture." . . i ■ :- r~~tu.ll Vvnm tk. fi«., nf the i4««fh hou««. had been visiteff on Monday. k,.''« were conducted.over the campus scnotasuc society, win noia a pitmt annual [iinm LUI VW nmiii™i» w* »..» / *AJ-iV id
FT ing is a pleasure and ijve