Only Slightly More Offensive Than Cable November 2009 FREE! Vol. 1 - Issue 8 In this month’s issue... Check out our interview with Old Crow Medicine Show! Before (On Left) After Shana McCoy’s Makeover see more pics on page 11 The Best of Paducah O Vote On Your O Favorite Spots Around Town Freezor Pop Fest Come The Show You Don’t Wanna Miss! Win A Date With Bella! Get You Some... See Page 7 For Details ‘Cause Momma Does It Best! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 2 2 - Editor’s Note Shana McCoy’s Makeover Pics 3 - Upcoming Events 12 - Momma Does It Best: Mother Duncan’s 4 - Rant ‘N Rave: I Heart Paducah 13 - Mother Duncan’s Cont’d Contents 5 - Movie Going For Morons 14 - Freezor Pop Fest Why Must the Holidays Be Hell-of-Days? 15 - The Season For Giving: Local Charities 6 - Sex In the Sticks and Where To Get Your X-Mas Gifts 7 - Win A Date With Bella 16 - Shana McCoy’s Makeover Check Out Bella Bazooka’s Face- 8 - Old Crow Medicine Show Interview 17 - The Best of Paducah book page, with pics of us being sa- 9 - Old Crow Cont’d 18 - The Best of Paducah Cont’d lacious hussies and everything. And 10 - Around Town Pics 19 - The First Ever Affordable Art Show we now have our very own web- site! www.bazookamagazine.com 11 - Around Town Cont’d 20 - Back Cover Editor’s Note Hey Guys! Welcome to the eighth issue of Bazooka Magazine. Man, this thing is just blowing up! In just the past month I have heard from so many new fans who tell me how stoked they are that there is finally an alternative newspaper in town. If this is your first time seeing our little ‘zine, you’re in for a treat.With the help of some fans in Murray, I got THE hookup, and your very own Bella Bazooka was able to get an interview with Ketch Secor from Old Crow Medicine Show! Trust me, when his publicist wrote me and gave me his cell number, I was so nervous I about puked. But it was awesome, and I think the interview was not only a personal thrill for me but also a great piece with some wonderful quotes that might even make it out of the confines of our little town. Since everyone is in the giving spirit this holiday season, I thought I could have a fundraiser to benefit the paper and a local children’s charity the best way I know how...by prostituting myself! Ah, don’t get too excited. I’m not providing the happy ending, unless you’re a rich old man who’s prepared to keep me in the lifestyle of Bud Light and fried Spam that I’ve become accustomed to. But I am raffling off a date with me that includes dinner for two, after-dinner drinks at a local bar, and two tickets to Freezor cover photo by Brian Steffen Pop Fest, which takes place on December 11th and 12th. Friday is acoustic night and Saturday is the punk/metal show. So I guess which night we go out depends on if a country boy or a headbanger wins the date! And if your significant other objects to the date on the grounds that I’m a bad influence, you guys can have the prizes to go on a date night of your own. I may be a hussy, but I’m an understanding hussy. Contributors, Ad Info, Also in this issue is the first ever Best of Paducah poll! On pages 17 and 18 you can vote on all the things you love in Paducah – everything from the best bartender in town to cheesy Senior Superlatives that if anything will be good for a laugh. I want either Submissions, and best writer or biggest flirt, but I better get sumthin’ if you know what’s good for ya. If there was a category for Best Cleavage, I would have that shit in the bag. Random Crap On a serious note, I do want to sincerely thank all of our fans and advertisers for helping Bazooka get off its feet. It’s you guys Of course, we couldn’t do this without advertisers, who make this all possible. If it all ended tomorrow, I would still feel honored and blessed that so many people have supported so please support them! You can find this issue at my little dream. Shit. Ya’ll are gonna make me cry. But enough of that! There will be enough tears at the end of my date when that 55 places in Paducah, KY - including Roof Brothers poor boy (or girl) has to leave the warmth of my magnificent bosom. Wine and Spirits, Crash Comics, Fat Moe’s, Maiden Until next time, dear readers: hug your kids, kiss your sweetie, grab a beer, and settle in to enjoy the newest issue of Bazooka! Alley Cinema, Smoke Shop in Lone Oak, Flamingo Row, B&G Liquors and many more. Our ad rates start at $50 so please give ne money so I don’t have to work the truck stop. We love contributors, so send all Feedback: work and feedback to [email protected]. Thanks for all the LOVE! “When I first moved here three months ago I was given the impression that the com- munity was fairly stuffy overall (like the town in Footloose, as one of your colum- Bazooka Publishing nists put it). Seeing your magazine was a good sign that Paducah’s not all banks and Bellablue: Owner and Editor churches.” Jessica: Layout, Cover Art, and Graphics Ginny: Photos, Graphics and Bella’s Bitch “Hey, just wanted to let you know that there are a couple of us down here at P.F.D. All opinions expressed in this paper are entirely the edi- Station X that can’t wait for the newest edition of Bazooka. We’ve only been lucky tor’s bad judgment and she begs you not to sue her. It’s enough to come across a couple of issues which means we’ve missed out on your entertainment. Please do not take it seriously. genius. If we could get a heads up so we can look out for the next issue I’m sure we would love you in a variety of ways.” Special Thanks To: photo by Jessica Brian Steffen, Ginny Harris and Jill Tanner for “What’s up? I like your outspoken mag. I like the way you’re presenting Paducah as you see it and not the way the Chamber of Photography Commerce sees it. I do video profiles for FB, sites, whatever. When you want some new vids on your site talking about the mag Karen Myrick for Research or your behind-the-scenes, I’d like to work with you. Can’t wait for the next issue.“ “Hey just saw on Facebook that you did an interview with the Old Crow boys, sounds fun indeed. Thanks for doing the Bawn in For Ad Info Call Bella the Mash story this summer, it was great and I love reading Bazooka. Keep up the good werks.” 270-366-9565 “You should be my MILF for Christmas.” [email protected] 3 If you want to have your show or venue listed here, it’s free! Please send them to us at [email protected]. Also, for a much Upcoming Events more complete and diverse list of events in and around town, check out our partners in party pro- motion, Mary and Nikki, the hot gals at ilistpad- ucah.com - they know where it’s AT! Friday, Nov 20 Fat Moe’s — National Poker Tour Di Fratelli — Ladies Night Wine Pro — Little Black Dress Wine Tasting Tuesday, Dec 1 Etcetera Coffeehouse — Paducah Writers Group 45 Downunder — Lincoln Hawk Carson Center — Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers KC’s Rec Room – Open Mic Mother Duncan’s - Wither Under Water Nick’s - Constant Calling Fat Moe’s — Dirty Cherry Pure Country — SOL Band Wednesday, Dec 2 The Hilltop - Syndicate 4 45 Downunder — Open Mic Friday, Dec 11 The Keg - Piano Man Terry Humphrey Fat Moe’s — Cornhole Tournaments Di Fratelli — Ladies Night Mother Duncan’s – Open Mic Night Etcetera Coffeehouse — Paducah Writers Group Saturday, Nov 21 426 Broadway — Freezer Pop Fest Paducah Expo Center - Roller Girls Scar Wars: Return of the Thursday, Dec 3 Mother Duncan’s — Midlife Crisis Jammer Buckets — Kerry-O-Kee Fat Moe’s — Darling Parade Mother Duncan’s - Roller Girls Scar Wars After Party Club Plush — Rhythm and Poetry Pure Country — Southern Express Lovett Auditorium - Old Crow Medicine Show Pasta House — Celebrity Bartender Bob Tumbarello The Hilltop - Shipwreck Fat Moe’s — The Anythings Philosophy Gallery — Affordable Art Show The Keg—Piano Man Terry Humphrey Pure Country — SOL Band The Keg – Tony Louge Friday, Dec 4 Saturday, Dec 12 Doe’s Eat Place – John Tate Di Fratelli — Ladies Night 426 Broadway — Freezer Pop Fest The Hilltop - Greysin Etcetera Coffeehouse — Paducah Writers Group Mother Duncan’s — Midlife Crisis Mother Duncan’s — Adam and the H Bombs Fat Moe’s — CJ Vaughn and HWY 58 Monday, Nov 23 The Dairy — Willy Porter House Concert Pure Country — Southern Express Fat Moe’s — National Poker Tour Fat Moe’s — John Sutton Band The Hilltop—Wolfman and The Pack Pure Country — Tabatha and Southern FRY’d Tuesday, Nov 24 The Hilltop - Tony Logue Monday, Dec 14 Big Apple Cafe – Bawn in the Mash The Keg - Piano Man Terry Humphrey Fat Moe’s — National Poker Tour KC’s Rec Room – Open Mic Nick’s - Halo Stereo Saturday, Dec 5 Tuesday, Dec 15 Etcetera Coffeehouse - Sorry, Michigan KC’s Rec Room – Open Mic Wednesday, Nov 25 Mother Duncan’s - The Cruisers 45 Downunder — Open Mic Fat Moe’s - Mozley Rose Wednesday, Dec 16 Fat Moe’s — Cornhole Tournaments and DJ Chester Hack Pure Country - Tabatha &Southern FRY’d 45 Downunder — Open Mic Harrah’s Casino - Top Tier K.C’s - Don Gibson Benefit and Fundraiser 1-5pm Fat Moe’s — Cornhole Tournaments The Hilltop - Greysin Mother Duncan’s – Open Mic Night Thursday, Nov 26 Buckets — Kerry-O-Kee Sunday, Dec 6 Thursday, Dec 17 Club Plush — Rhythm and Poetry Four Rivers Covenant Church — Show Your Heart Concert Buckets — Kerry-O-Kee Club Plush — Rhythm and Poetry Friday, Nov 27 Monday, Dec 7 Di Fratelli — Ladies Night Jasmine — 40/50 Group Friday, Dec 18 Etcetera Coffeehouse — Paducah Writers Group Fat Moe’s — National Poker Tour Di Fratelli — Ladies Night Fat Moe’s — August Christopher Etcetera Coffeehouse — Paducah Writers Group Pure Country - The David Ivey Band Tuesday, Dec 8 Carson Center -