We are emerging from a dreadful age of darkness, cruelty and greed. Rare has been the who has striven for union with . Like the dawn of a new day we are witness to tremendous The Cross and The taking incarnation and parents suited to the noble task of bringing in such souls. Take heart—a new day has begun. Lotus Journal Yogacharya David Hickenbottom

Unless conjugal love has a Ram Nam (the chanting of spiritual basis it can never last. If God’s name) kept in check June 2013, Vol. 14 No. 2 husbands and wives are to live in the activities of the mind, es- friendship and harmony, they pecially those activities that must be of spiritual service to made it run after external ob- Dedicated to the Realization of God and Service to Him in All Forms each other…when two Souls are jects. Afterwards, the mind ideally mated, their love becomes was so calm that it would not spiritualized and is registered in go out even when the chant- eternity. ing stopped.

Paramhansa Yogananda Swami Ramdas

Drawn by Artist Lakshmi, Anandashram Lakshmi, by Artist Drawn

Mother Hamilton (1977)

Babaji’s Remembrance Day, July 25 The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 35 The Cross and The Lotus Journal is published by Christian- and Paramhansa The Cross and The Lotus Publishing Yogananda’s Praecepta Lessons Mount Vernon, WA, U.S.A. We currently have two monthly classes: Christian-Yoga and Website: www.crossandlotus.com Master’s Praecepta Lessons. Topics in the Christian Yoga Class E-mail: [email protected] have included “God-Divine Incarnations & ,” “Baptism,” and “Purification and Temptation.” Tracing the storyline of Je- sus we continue to go deeper to discover the blueprint for every individual’s spiritual growth and development embedded in these sacred texts. We also have been delving into Master’s les- sons on such relevant topics as “The Law of Divine Healing,” “Overcoming Temptation” and “How to Cure the Disease of Jealousy”. Through Ustream you may join us live online or contact Carla ([email protected]) to receive a link for an online re- The cross and lotus symbolizes the unity between East and West. The lotus is the sign of cording and the writings that go with the class. Here is the com- illumined consciousness, the thousand petal lotus of the crown chakra. The cross is the ment of one devotee participating on Ustream: “I loved experi- symbol of the body surrendered to the will of God. Following the way of the cross results in the of illumined consciousness. encing the arising love and happiness in all class members who shared from Bellingham—it was priceless!” The Cross and the Lotus, symbol of man. East and West blended, join hand in hand. Marching toward the infinite light and life divine. Calendar of Events Lift up your eyes and see the star, June 16 Father’s Day descending from heaven where e’er you are. 20 Summer Solstice (9:59 p.m. PDT) Be filled with the peace and ecstasy of God’s almighty love. Aum-Amen. July 1 Canada Day The Reverend Yogacharya Mother Hamilton 4 Independence Day 8 Ramadan (sundown)–ends sundown on August 7 22 Purnima © 2013 The Cross and The Lotus Publishing is dedicated to the publication of materials that 25 Babaji’s Remembrance Day promote God-realization. Our spiritual lineage begins with Jesus Christ and Babaji and flows down to us through , Swami Sri Yukteswar, Paramhansa Yogananda and Aug. 11 Papa’s Mahasamadhi Day (1963) Yogacharya Mother Hamilton. Sept. 4 Rosh Hashanah (sundown)–ends sundown on Sept. 6 The Reverend Yogacharya David Hickenbottom continues this lineage with the help and 22 Fall Equinox (1:38 p.m. PDT) support of many sincere devotees. We are dedicated to realizing God and serving devotees of 26 Lahiri Mahasaya’s Mahasamadhi Day (1895) every race, color, creed and . 30 Lahiri Mahasaya’s Birthday (1828) Mother Hamilton often said she was the product of two fully illumined Masters, her own Oct. 4 Mother Krishnabai’s Birthday (1903) Guru, Paramhansa Yogananda, and Swami Ramdas. We therefore feature articles about 12 Swami Satchidananda’s Mahasamadhi Day (2008) Swami Ramdas and Anandashram. We bow to the feet of Saints and realized Masters of all . Journal Editors: Larry & Cate Koler Page 34 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 3 From the Master’s Kitchen One of the recipes originally published in Master’s Lessons Baked Macaroni with Asparagus Dear Friends, Macaroni: 1 c. whole wheat (or gluten free) Mother Hamilton once said, Cheddar Cheese: 3 oz “When you are in business with Butter: 4 tbsp. God, you are in business with all of Mayonnaise: 1/2 c. fresh (I life!” And this is absolutely true, for use Trader Joe’s) the Author of all of life must be in- Flour: 3 tbsp. whole wheat (or tensely interested in every aspect of gluten free flour) it. Bread crumbs: 3/4 c. whole wheat buttered (omitted) The universal nature of God is Salt: 1tsp. (omitted) sometimes misinterpreted; at times Asparagus: 2 c. cooked fresh, cut in one inch pieces (quick it is done so deliberately. It is true stir fry in frying pan with tiny bit of oil & salt) that everything created is from God; Milk ~2 c. (this was not on the paper work I had, so I guessed otherwise there would be two crea- what the amount should be) tors, not one. But, from a human perspective, we would not say Cook macaroni in boiling salted water until tender; drain. Melt that everything thought up by man or creation is equally repre- butter, add flour and salt; mix well. sentative of God. That is, from our experience there are things that lift up the soul to feel closer to God, and other things that Gradually stir in milk. Cook until thickened, stirring con- create more separateness from the purity of the supreme . stantly. Add cheese; stir until melted. Remove from heat; add mayonnaise, stirring constantly. Arrange alternate layers of As aspirants for realization you most definitely are influenced drained macaroni and asparagus in greased casserole dish. Cover by certain thoughts, emotions and outer conditions. When you with cheese sauce, then with buttered are in a sacred place, in the presence of a divinely realized per- sonage, or you read something uplifting and purifying, you are crumbs. Bake in slow oven, 300°F, brought into closer attunement with your spiritual nature. And until brown. Serves 8. when you encounter a sensually charged environment, sur- Comments from our C&L chef, rounded by crass individuals, or find yourself in a spiritually Angela Victory dark place, then, unless your mind is very strong, you will be

This cheese sauce was amazing— drawn into a greater sense of separation from God. gluten free—and then mayonnaise When the mind is purified of all sense of separation from God, whisked in at the end. It was some- the universal vision enlightens your mind; Spirit is seen through- thing I could eat as is but considered out creation. The delusive idea of isolation and the downward other uses, like poured over any turn of mind have no hold on you, and a pervasive experience of steamed vegetable. The recipe says peace and joy resonate not only throughout your being, but this feeds 8 but I think it could only throughout all creation; which is not seen as separate from your feed 4 plus a side salad. Victory Mike Photosby Page 4 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 33 greater Self. This universal vision results in complete spiritual others. Instead of worrying about having the “right answers” or freedom. trying to “fix” someone, I focus on staying connected to however From this enlightened state Papa can rightly proclaim that the I’m experiencing God in the moment. This allows me to be a world is God, and Mother can perfectly know that to be in busi- conduit of God, allowing God’s light, love, joy, and peace to ness with God is to be in business with all of life. When you have flow through me. I’m connected to my intuition, which guides paid the complete price of realization, total surrender to God, me to call the right people at the right time to best serve them. then you too may live in this world without any attachments that By seeing and experiencing God in them, I can help awaken binds your mind to the senses. them to that experience also. However, before this final liberation occurs you must strive to The chanting and singing are also a powerful part of the have a spotless mind. In speaking to Swami Satchidananda, retreat. This song best sums up the experience and is my wish for whose state of spiritual attainment was tremendous, he said that you: he had not yet reached that perfect state of Sahaja (what May the long time sun shine on you Master called Brahma Nirvana). This highest state of Sahaja All love surround you Samadhi, he explained, meant that you do not need any effort to And the pure light within you stay perfectly attuned to God; he noticed in himself that, no mat- Guide you all the way home. ter how little it required, he needed to extend effort to draw the Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram. mind away from some idea of separation and put his full atten-

tion upon God.

Swamiji’s was the highest veracity. There were many around him who would think he had attained that complete liberation, however he was clear—at least at that time—that he was not in the highest state of realization. He is a tremendous example to us

all for complete honesty and integrity in our spiritual odyssey. Peter Christine and Attachment acts like Velcro for the mind; certain things of the and Jonni Tiffany world stick to it and can be easy or hard to tear away. The easiest way to rid yourself of attachment is to lovingly keep your mind upon God. Meditating deeply, chanting God’s Name, feeling His Presence, loving Him, and serving Him in all forms purifies the mind of all separation from the One. God’s very nature is ever-new joy, freedom, enlightened thought and great peace. These virtues do not allow attachments. So, in your meditation, your chanting of the divine Name, unless you are feeling these virtues, you are not going far enough in your sadhana (spiritual practice). You can say you are on the spiritual path, but if you are not experiencing increasing close- ness to God, then you are only fooling yourself. Page 32 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 5 Why do we not make progress? It is because the ego-mind has Loon Lake Spring Retreat a great sense of self-preservation and going to God makes the by Joy Putnam ego-mind feel it will lose control, even die. So you work to pre- I’m so grateful for the opportunity to partici- serve the life you have, even if you are unhappy with your cur- pate in the spring retreat, because it’s so up- rent state. lifting to be around David and the other devo- You must make your mind become single focused. Jesus said tees on the path, while learning key distinc- that you cannot serve two masters, you must choose; you must tions that guide me home to God. love God more than this world or your self. This total dedication The topic was “New Dimensions of Peace”, to breaking through the shell of ignorance that keeps you in a and we focused on how to connect to that state of separation is what allows you to enter the much greater, spiritual peace within us. This is so important, more expanded realm of the kingdom of heaven. because in that peace and stillness we are connected to God and In this final emergence you are in the realm of pure light, an- God can reveal Himself to us. anda-bliss; knowing that you and your heavenly Father, divine We explored a new way of working with the fear, anxiety, Mother, are ever one. Now you see the sacred splendor spread shame or doubt that pulls us out of our natural place of peace. In- throughout this creation; every atom of space scintillating with stead of trying to resist or push through the fear, we focused on the aura of love and enlightened intelligence. You experience the hearing the message behind the fear, aligning with the positive world as God. intention, and painting a new picture to gain the cooperation of With this enlightened state of being you continue in service to that part within us. the One, which is in all creation, and you continue to explore the Personally this process helped me transform my anxiety about vast nature of God. From this realization you may truly say that my spiritual practice. Now I focus on experiencing God however being in business with God is being in business with all of life; He shows up, trusting that He is in charge of the process and will for there is nothing but one life, one religion (that religion is the lead me home. realization of God, by whatever name you may call Him), and T h i s h a s one Creator (which is one, without a second). moved me out A practice we may utilize to great effect along the way to the of my head emergence into oneness is to practice seeing God as our all and trying to fig- all in all. However, let us not confuse the practice of seeing God ure it all out, in all with the total liberation that comes with actually having the and into my universal vision. Let us practice the utmost integrity, following heart feeling in the steps of Swami Satchidananda, and bend every effort to the peace and enter into this great and highest state, Sahaja Samadhi. joy of God in this moment. Then, like Mother, you will spontaneously and continuously be in the divine Presence, every part of you will resound with the This trans- name of God and the Light of God, and you will know that you formation also are ever one with Him, enlightened with the universal vision. benefits my service to Peter, Ric, David, Carla, Christine, Judy, Joy Page 6 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 31 Letter to a Devotee Yoga and Health Dear ______, Modified Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana) By Briana Jones Receiving an angry letter from a family member like the one ______sent will in most cases cause a reaction of hurt, fear and A gentler version of down-dog for a more luxurious elongation anger. The key is to discharge those feelings quickly, honestly of the spine. analyze the truth of what is said and take only what is yours, let- Props: a sturdy, ting the rest go—see it going into a flame of Light. level surface around It is understandable that there will be emotional charges in knee height to press your family, especially considering there was no opportunity for hands against, such siblings to have a place to release those natural feelings earlier. as a couch, the back While you were not directly responsible for what happened, you of a chair set can understand such feelings. When you depersonalize the situa- against a wall, a tion and say, “Well, if I were in their shoes I might have some of counter, or a table. those feelings myself,” then you can have compassion for the Practice: Open charged emotional field of the family. your fingers wide That said, the letter from _____ was not clean and clear. When and press your you are clean and clear you take responsibility for your own hands against your prop, shoulder width apart. Step your feet emotions and you do not project your thoughts onto others. Such back to a distance that allows you to tip forward from your hips projections result in inaccuracies and assumptions in what be- and release the torso through your arms, creating a nice long di- come verbal “drive-by assaults.” agonal with your spine. Reach your sit bones up to the sky, and set your feet slightly wider than the hips. Rotate the shoulders Having a clear mind you may have compassion for others and outward, feeling the arms reaching deep into the shoulder sock- it allows you to recognize what is true; not taking on another’s ets. Feel the life force flowing in the arms connecting into the venom. Clearly the ugliness and tone of the letter you received heart, torso and all the way back to the hips and heels. Allow for does not belong to you and it is not the truth. deep, calming breath. This should feel wonderful! In India the supreme swan (paramhansa) is seen as a divine Benefits: This pose is both energizing and mood lifting as an symbol. In legend it is said that a swimming swan is able to inversion, and restorative as a separate out milk from lake water, taking in only the sweet milk. forward bend. Releases tension This ability to separate “what is mine versus what is yours” is throughout the entire spinal col- essential for knowing the truth. And you, being a seeker of truth, umn. Builds strength in the arms must learn to not only separate truth from untruth, but then im- and shoulders, and opens the bibe only that which belongs to you; rejecting another’s poison- backs of the legs and hips. Re- ous projection. laxes the nervous system and When you encounter pain in the family you may justly mourn. relieves anxiety and depression. Jesus said, “blessed are those who mourn: for they shall be com- Enjoy the calm and bliss. forted.”1 What is essential in mourning is that you give it to God, Namaste. Page 30 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 7 Her autobiography is a touching account of a young woman all of it: your sorrows, your fear, your shame, whatever is associ- whose devotion to the child Jesus echoes his own words; to be- ated with grief, give all to the Supreme Lord. In giving it to God come as little children. In her writings she stresses God’s love you will be comforted and the old emotional charge is neutral- and mercy. Her absolute love for God lives on in her book and ized. letters and inspires us to also open our hearts and feel His love Another lesson comes to mind from the great Galilean Master: for us. She reminds us that great love, not great deeds is the es- He instructed his disciples that “whosoever shall not receive you, sence of sainthood. nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, If you have never read her little book I urge you to do so. [The shake off the dust of your feet.”2 You also may shake off the dust Story of a Soul: The Autobiography of Saint Therese of Lisieux] of someone when you offer truth and peace and it is not re- This book has been translated and published all over the world. ceived. In one of her last letters she wrote: “I’m not really going to die. When you are clean and clear you will find peace and healing; I’m just entering another life—one I can’t exactly describe here. rest assured of this. When you are on the receiving end of an- I’ll tell you all about it from heaven!” other’s hatred, it can seem like a crucifixion. Turn then to God, tell Him everything; be humble and surrender it all at His feet. The Silence of Love Not everyone is willing to work out his or her anger and fear in this life-time because they will not surrender the situation to Sister Genevieve tells of this incident a few days before God. However, leave those recalcitrant ones to God’s care; shake the death of Therese: the dust off your feet and continue your journey to God without “I got up a number of times during the night, in spite of hindrance. her requests. On one of these visits, I found my dear sister My heart goes out to you. Be brave and stand fast in the Light, with her hands joined and her eyes raised to heaven: and let the Divine Light be your sword and shield. — What are you doing? I asked her, you should be With all love and blessings, asleep. — I cannot, I am in pain, so I pray… — And what do you say to Jesus? 1. Matthew 5:4 — I don’t say anything, I just love him!” 2. Matthew 10:14 -Therese of Lisieux Many picture God as an old man sitting up in heaven on His golden throne, dispensing His laws, dispensing favors To enter the contemplative life truly, you have to go and punishments. Now, God is not that. He is every old through a narrow, lonely place in your being, where you man, sitting on the throne of everyone’s consciousness! face all your fears and selfish patterns, even when you And as Christ came to teach us so beautifully, God and the don’t know what these are. kingdom of heaven are to be found only within ourselves. - Mother Delores Hart Mother Hamilton Page 8 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 29

St. Therese of Lisieux By Lorraine Bourcier Therese Martin was born on Janu- ary 2nd, 1873 in Alencon, France into a devout Catholic family. St. Therese, the Little Flower, lived a short life but one totally filled with love for God. When she made her first communion at age 11, she described it this way: “there were no demands made, no struggles, no sacrifices; for a long time now Jesus and poor little Therese looked at and understood Hidden Power each other. That day, it was no An Excerpt from a Talk Given by longer simply a look, it was a fu- The Reverend Mother, Yogacharya M. Hamilton sion; they were no longer two, in Seattle on November 2, 1980 Therese had vanished as a drop of water is lost in the immensity of the ocean. Jesus alone remained.” [Bible Reading: 1 Corinthians, Ch. 2, 1-16.] Her desire to join the Carmelites was so intense that at the age Only the Tip of the Iceberg of 14 she and her father travelled to Rome so she could petition I want to speak to you this morning about hidden power. This Pope Leo XIII to let her enter at the age of 15. She was given title was inspired by… [a devotee]…who was telling me a story permission. Her ideal was simple and direct: “I want to be a of his own experience. He…was taking a music lesson and he saint.” was trying to get his voice out. But he was singing just from the The rest of her short life was, on the outside as uneventful as surface of the power that he had within himself, and his teacher her early years. In 1895 in obedience to her Superior, she began said to him, “That is the tip of the iceberg. Why do you not go to write the story of her childhood which expanded into her auto- below and open up, and bring forth this tremendous power of biography “the Story of a Soul”. She died at the age of 24. Pope God, and let it flow through you? It comes from within you.” Pius XI decreed that Therese of Lisieux was to be the equal pa- And he learned a great lesson. tron with St Francis Xavier, of all the missions and the secon- This is true of each and every one of us. We’re dealing with dary patron of France with St. Joan of Arc. the tip of the iceberg. And when you stop to think about it, that How did an obscure nun reach such an exalted honor so soon iceberg is very solid; it is very deep. It is hidden under the after her death? Her sanctity was very ordinary: she wanted to do ocean—much of it—and it stands there, sometimes a threat to the most for everybody and she wanted to do everything with the ships. But also, it stands there so that when a change love. Page 28 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 9 They are called the ‘slayers of the Self.’ Ye ke cha atma hano comes—a change of weather perhaps—the iceberg will melt and jana—‘Those who are slayers of the Self.’ Actually, the atman become a part of the ocean. And this is what all of us have to cannot be slayed. But people, for whom the most important think of, the power, the tremendous power of God which is things in the world are those seen through their senses, who be- within us. And that power is expressed not by God in the sense lieve that there is nothing beyond their senses, are called ‘slayers of His absoluteness, but by God who manifests as the Christ of the atman,’ ‘slayers of the Self.’ within each and every one of us. In another meaning, they are also ‘slayers of their own Self’ The Hidden Power because they are metaphorically killing themselves, shutting out But we are born the sons of man. We are all that it describes of the immortal light of the inner being and believing that they are here, in the human sense, with our attachments to worldly de- only physical bodies. They are successfully slaying themselves! sires, worldly things, worldly possessions, worldly goals. And Such people go into worlds of enveloping darkness, layer upon yet we must go beyond those things. We must go within the layer of darkness. So what the rishi is saying is, ‘Please wake up sanctuary of our own souls, and discover that hidden power. and look; there is something beyond this physical body.’ There is a whole universe inside of us, waiting to be explored. The famous sage of Tiruvannamalai defined We have the power to travel through the air. We do not concen- the whole of in a nut-shell, in one sentence which he trate on power to be used for such a purpose, but we have that used to oft repeat—deham naham koham soham. This is the es- power within us. We have the power to go to the heart of some- sence of Vedanta. If you know this, not just theoretically but ex- thing, to discern it, to know what is within each and every indi- perientially, you have known all the , the entire Ve- vidual, within each and every atom of space. That hidden power danta. Deham—‘this body,’ naham—‘I am not.’ Just as, when I manifests every moment of our lives. It manifests in the universe am wearing clothes, you can separate me from my clothes— outside of ourselves when it brings the sun up in the morning these are my clothes and I am different from my clothes. In the and puts it to bed at night, when the stars twinkle in the sky, same way, Vedanta says, the Inner-Self is the atman, and the when the moon is there to light the way for us in darkness. That clothes that one wears is the physical body and that which be- power is hidden in the roar of the ocean. It is hidden in every longs to me cannot be me. Therefore, I am separate and what creature that is beneath that ocean, and the whole land. And belongs to me is separate. there is a whole world underneath that ocean surface. So, deham naham—if ‘I am not the body,’ koham?—then, The waves come and they lap on the shore, and then they re- ‘who am I?’ If somebody says, ‘I am just a bundle of flesh and turn again to its bosom. And we are like those waves. We come bones,’ it is fine. Let them be content with this feeling. But if from the ocean of God, sent by Him for a purpose, to touch the someone says, ‘Let me go deeper into this matter; I may not be shore of earth in order that we might become one with His Infi- just a bundle of flesh and bones, I may be something different. nite Love, His Infinite Consciousness, His Infinite Will and Be- But who am I?’ Ramana Maharshi said that when one is asked ing and Power. But we waste our time, and we cannot do this. this question, koham! ‘Who am I?’ koham? Soham is the an- We must wake up and realize who and what we are! We must swer—‘I am not different from That Supreme Being.’ ‘That Su- wake up and use that hidden power within us.… preme Self is not different from that Supreme Being.’ ‘That Su- preme Self am I’ is similar to the Upanishadic statement ‘tat I Was with You in Weakness twam asi’— You are That!’ …I am reminded in this first verse: And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, Page 10 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 27 declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness, and in fear and in much trem- bling. And that is the way I started out my ministry because I was down south with my Guru and asking him to send a minister up to help us, (I was merely a Center Leader) because we needed somebody to—that was far more capable than I, I felt—to per- form marriages and to officiate over baptisms, and burials (hopefully, we wouldn’t have any). But nevertheless, I felt we needed a minister because we were developing a crowd of peo- ple and we needed that service. So all of a sudden, out of the clear blue, he said to me, “I’ll make you a minister.” And I thought, ‘Oh, no’ and I wished that the ground would open up before me and that I could sink six feet under it. And I said, “But sir, you cannot do that. I haven’t been with you like your other devotees down here. I never gradu- who denies the Self.’ So, asurya nama te loka means ‘Those ated from any school in my life. I am uneducated insofar as the who deny the Inner Reality, who think that this world is all that standard educations go. I cannot do that.” And he said, “Mildred, is real, that there is nothing more than what they see around I look in the heart and if I see that the heart is pure, then I make them—they go into worlds of darkness.’ that one a minister.” Even without going into the philosophical aspect, one can un- Well, I have lived with me from the beginning of my sojourn derstand this. There are people who think that all that there is, is on earth, until that time, and I couldn’t look in my heart and see this world. There is nothing else, there is no inner-world, there is it was all that pure! You know, I was human. I had done all of no atma. We had such believers in ancient India—the . the things that other human beings had done, and I was strug- They said, ‘Any time you may die—so eat, drink and be merry gling. But there’s one thing I had above all others, and that was a as there is nothing else.’ Atheists and agnostics are not only love and a trust for God in this man, this great God-man, who found in modern times—they have existed since time immemo- had one evening, after twenty years of my life, changed my life rial. Such people are in utter darkness and misery when they get completely, my whole outlook—who had taken my conscious- a disease or when they lose something, which they consider to be ness from looking for God and the Christ outside of myself, in most precious. They have no one to depend on, no place to put the skies up above, to the place where he told me that Christ was their in, nothing to go back to, no solace, because whatever to be found within myself, that He was that intelligence, that they think is real, is finished. power, that will, that presence, everything that was life within Such personalities who do not have any understanding, who myself, that He surrounded me. And all of a sudden I was lifted do not even give a thought to the idea that there might be some- up and wrapped in the bliss of His infinite presence. thing other than this world, finally go to worlds of absolute dark- I Come not with Excellency of Speech ness. That is one meaning. And that is the condition in which I started my ministry, just a The other meaning is that ‘without the knowledge of the Self, poor, uneducated fool, you might say. And in the beginning it one keeps wandering in the darkness of ignorance.’ Page 26 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 11 was very, very difficult. Believe me I came not with excellency Wisdom of the Rishis of speech or of wisdom. Today, perhaps, I am somewhat differ- By ent than I was then because I have been through tremendous I have recently been reading some of Sri M’s teachings, both spiritual experiences, and many, many experiences in life which his autobiography, Apprenticed to a Himalayan Master: A have brought me to whatever I am now. Only God knows that. Yogi’s Autobiography, and this book, Wisdom of the Rishis. But in the beginning I tried to give sermons and I would work Phyllis had been to one of his talks in India where she had the over them for hours. And I did a passable job. opportunity to meet him and recommended his books. (After The first time, as I think I’ve told you before, I thought I reading about him, I think I may have heard him give a talk at would just get up and talk about this Master whom I loved with Anandashram, but I did not meet him face to face.) Both books everything I had, and whom I would have followed to the ends have very much inspired me and reading these discourses is of the earth! There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for him, even really the first time I have approached the Upanishads, having to give my life—which finally I did—because of my great love being drawn more to the Gita in the past. for God in this man. But I talked about him, and all of a sudden I Sri M’s (Mumtaz Ali) story is rather unique. He was born into couldn’t think of another word to say. And I’m sure that I could a Muslim family in south India and as a child was attracted to have gone on for months and years, speaking about everything Sufi and Hindu saints. At nineteen he felt an irresistible call to that was in my heart for him. But everything stopped still, and I the Himalayas where he was reunited with his guru, a disciple of was just about to say, “Well, that’s all there is, folks. There isn’t the peerless Babaji. He was initiated into , spent a any more,” when I got another thought and I was able to con- few years with his master in the high Himalayas and then was tinue on. sent back to live in the world, where he familiarized himself with Forget Myself and Remember Him varied spiritual and religious traditions, adopted the life of a married householder and when prompted by God, began his life But gradually, as I went on in my ministry, I found that if I as a teacher. Perhaps because of his background, he is very uni- would forget myself and open myself to God, and let Him speak versal in his approach. He says: “Spiritual evolution is not di- through me, that I didn’t even need to prepare very much. I had verse from regular living. Intervals of solitude are necessary but to have a sermon subject, it’s true, and perhaps something to you cannot shut yourself totally. The world around you is your read from a good book, or something that someone had written, touchstone to spiritual practice.” Cate Koler and certainly a chapter out of one of the scriptures—but I learned to get up there and just let God speak through me.

In the beginning I prepared more. But as the years went by and Ishavasya Upanishad: Shloka 3 I went through the experiences, and finally the one great experi- asurya nama te loka andhena tamasaurutah tams te pretabhi- ence of the transformation of ‘the son of man’ within myself, to gacchanti ye ke cha atma hano janah the ‘Son of God,’ then the Christ-within-me took over. And then Asurya nama te loka andhena tamasa. This means, ‘There are it came about: But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he some worlds which are enveloped in darkness to which those of himself is judged of no man. [1 Corinthians 2: 15] And I took demonic nature go.’ ‘Demonic’ does not mean people who look that within myself. And I knew that having paid the tremendous like devils or monsters. It means demonic nature. Demonic price I had, that I had paid the full price under the law; therefore, means ‘one who denies the performance of the Inner Self,’ ‘one I was no longer subject to it and I had risen above it. Page 12 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 25 I Am not Always What You Would Expect her answers satisfied my mind, but although uplifted, I left not Many who see me in everyday life, see the fun and the gai- thoroughly convinced. ety—sometimes the wisdom and sometimes just plain foolery— The next day Althea told me that al- wonder, ‘is this woman really God-realized? Is she really?’ I though she had planned to return home have done some strange things to test people. I remember meet- that week, she felt that she should not ing one individual who sits in the audience now and a relative of leave until I saw Mother again. So it his had brought him to me and was lauding me with praises was arranged that Mother’s daughter, which, at that time, in no way did I deserve. But anyway, I went Billie, would pick me up after I taught upstairs and I wondered what I should wear to meet this person my Sunday school class at the college whom she told me was a great soul, and who was searching, but Free Methodist Church. he was very orthodox. And so I had a kelly-green skirt and it was I was impressed and inspired with the power and spirituality of all woven with gold thread around the bottom, a border. I had on Mother’s sermon and stayed afterward to talk with her further. I a very sheer, beige blouse, a see-through blouse, if you will— knew then that she was the guru for which I had prayed and that very high heels—and then to top it off, I had long, green, leather this path was to be mine with her as my guide. From then on I earrings that were in hoops! And that’s the way I came down to attended all of the services that I could and often stayed after- meet this future man who was going to be my disciple. I’m sure ward on Wednesday evenings to talk into the wee hours with he remembers it well. Mother. (Actually, she did most of the talking.) Always in these So he sat there, and he was a great follower of Saint Paul and sessions the room would be filled with a soft golden light and he said, ‘Well, what do you think about what Saint Paul says from the incense burner on the altar below Master’s picture about this?’ And, ‘Saint Paul says that’, and so on and so on. We would sound a “ping.” Mother said that this was a sign of his started from there. And he fought me because he was very ortho- presence. During one of these sessions Mother gave me the same dox in his thinking. And I don’t remember what I said to him, pledge of her undying love that Sri Yukteswar gave to just whatever God directed—I hadn’t gone through this tremen- Yogananda. I was speechless to be so blessed! dous experience at that time so I was still a neophyte. But any- It wasn’t until recently that I learned from “The Cross and The way, it came to pass that although I had the church open—our Lotus” magazine that Mother was experiencing a “dark night of home was the church—every single Thursday evening and every the soul” at this time. It was not at all evident from the way she Sunday, sometimes he was the only one who came. And I was in expressed herself so positively with her dynamic and loving per- the position sometimes when no one came, perhaps because of sonality. weather conditions. In those early years sometimes only I or a few others would be I Begged God to Lift Me Up attending the evening services. There was never a large number. And in the beginning I blamed myself. I thought, ‘Well, I’m No matter how few or many came, the talk she gave she deliv- not worthy. I told the Master that I wasn’t worthy and he should ered with the same dynamics. Sometimes she would be so weak have listened to me.’ But anyway, I would sit and meditate. I and in pain that she had to drag herself out of bed to lead the ser- would meditate, asking God if I was not worthy, to please make vice, she was so dedicated to God. But always, as the Spirit filled me fit to be His vessel, that I might help those that were seeking her with Its presence, power and inspiration flowed through her Him. And gradually the people started to come. And I venture to as if nothing had been wrong. say that by now there have been thousands of people who have Page 24 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 13 and anything contrary to these laws doesn’t last long. It contains come before me, and I have been before thousands. But gradu- within itself the seeds of its own destruction. The good in every ally, through the experiences which came to me through my min- human life always makes it possible for us to obey these laws. istry, I came to the point where I was opening my heart totally to We do have free will about all this, and therefore how soon we God, where I cried for Him. I reached for Him. I yearned for obey and thereby find harmony, both within ourselves and Him! And I knew that no earthly person, no earthly possession, within our world, is up to us. no earthly dream could ever fulfill that tremendous longing I had within myself. MEMORIES OF MOTHER I had to reach out. I had to go through what was necessary, and Meeting Mother I begged God to lift me up, with every bit of strength I had within myself. And it was then that I went into spiritual experi- by Herlwyn Lutz ences. They were the preliminary ones, and some of those were [It seemed fitting to reprint this article because in Mother’s really something. And it brought me to the point where, after my talk this edition (Hidden Power) she speaks about the very inci- Master’s passing, and Swami Ramdas had come to America and dent Herlwyn describes here. Our dear Herlwyn left the body had invited my husband and myself to return there and be with almost a year and a half ago. He was the first of Mother’s stu- him, that I was directed to go over there. And I went with the dents to become a disciple and is surely with her now.] idea that I was going to help my own Master, my Guru. And it A sister of a professor for whom I did garden work was visit- didn’t turn out that way, in one sense, because I wasn’t able to ing her. She bubbled with joy as we talked, describing how she change a thing of that which was being done to his works, to his followed her inner leadings each moment. I had read of teachings. Yogananda in his autobiography. She said that he was her guru. But what did happen was that God lifted me up and He put me While in Seattle, she had been attending the services of his cen- through all of the experiences that are in this New Testament. I ter leader and minister, Yogacharya Hamilton. She suggested had lived the ones in the Old Testament because that’s the story that I should meet her. Mother had told her several things about of the son of man and all of the things that he does—his begin- me. So an appointment was set up. nings in this world and the beginning of the universe, and man’s Greeting me at the door of her home was a beautiful middle- beginnings, and all of the things that he goes through until he aged woman wearing Gypsy earrings, heavy makeup and a sheer comes to that point where he is ready to really realize that the blouse. (Mother later told me that God had asked her to do this Christ is within him. as a test of my rising above my fundamentalist training of how a The Hidden Glory woman should dress. Apparently I passed the test.) Cordially welcoming me we went into her living room to talk. I told her So I went through this tremendous experience of the ‘mystical about my search for a deeper spiritual life since the age of 12 and crucifixion,’ and I know what every bit of this Bible [means], how at age 17 Yogananda confirmed what I reasoned and intu- although to this day I have never read all of it. I have lived it! ited about the ultimate nature of the universe and humanity, but I And I can go to any chapter and I know the truth behind the par- was still unsure about certain doctrinal matters. I quoted several ables that are written because I lived them, not through my own verses from the New Testament that, according to my Christian will, but through the will of God. But it was through opening education, seemed to contradict some of what she and myself up that I discovered this hidden power within myself, that Yogananda said. (She later used to tease me about this.) Some of power that has the ability to work ! And yet I of myself Page 14 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 23 do nothing. It has the power to raise man from the dead—and yet Then there is the third relinquishment, and that is the relin- that has happened through this form, but I myself have done quishment of all attachments. No one is truly free who is still nothing—the power to heal, the power to change man’s con- attached to material things, or to places, or to people. Material sciousness, the power to help him discover within himself all of things must be put into their proper place. They are there for use. the hidden talents and the hidden glory, and to bring it forth and It’s all right to use them; that’s what they’re there for. But when to change himself from a groveling human being sometimes, to they’ve outlived their usefulness, be ready to relinquish them one who walks with a tall, broad stance and holds his head high. and perhaps pass them on to someone who does need them. Any- And there’s a great light in his face and he knows that he can be thing that you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its useful- counted! ness possesses you, and in this materialistic age a great many of I have tried to dig within each one who has come to me, and us are possessed by our possessions. We are not free.… find out where they kept this hidden glory, what their special tal- Now the last: the relinquishment of all negative feelings. I ents were, and then to encourage them to develop them so that want to mention just one negative feeling which the nicest peo- they might become themselves. It’s terrible to walk in fear, to ple still experience, and that negative feeling is worry. Worry is live in fear. If God is directing you to do something within your- not concern, which would motivate you to do everything possi- self, for heaven’s sakes, do it! And stop fearing the result be- ble in a situation. Worry is a useless mulling over of things we cause if He is directing you, He will also take care of it. He will cannot change…. take care of everything and everyone, about that particular cir- One last comment about negative feelings, which helped me cumstance, if you will only have faith in Him. There is no hold- very much at one time and has helped others. No outward ing back, none whatsoever. thing—nothing, nobody from without—can hurt me inside, psy- The Supreme Intelligence Within chologically. I recognized that I could only be hurt psychologi- And yet what do we do? We try to do everything ourselves! cally by my own wrong actions, which I have control over; by We’re never willing to let go and let God, to let this power, this my own wrong reactions—they are tricky, but I have control tremendous ice that has developed under the tip of the iceberg, over them too; or by my own inaction in some situations, like the melt and flow and work for us! When something is finished, let present world situation, that needs action from me. When I rec- it go! It is finished. It was brought into your life for a purpose, ognized all this, how free I felt! And I just stopped hurting my- and when that purpose is finished, to hold yourself in such a po- self. Now someone could do the meanest thing to me and I sition is to retard your spiritual progress and the progress of would feel deep compassion for this out-of-harmony person, this those around you. You must release yourself and stand straight psychologically sick person, who is capable of doing mean and tall, and say, I Am That I Am. And you’re also I Am That I things. I certainly would not hurt myself by a wrong reaction of Am, as I told you a few weeks ago, because God is not only the bitterness or anger. You have complete control over whether or Supreme Cause, the Supreme Intelligence, the Supreme Every- not you will be hurt psychologically, and any time you want to, thing of the universe, but He is every individual thing within it, you can stop hurting yourself. which can be called, I Am That I Am. These are the steps toward inner peace that I wanted to share And so everything flows together. Everything works together with you. There’s nothing new about this. This is universal truth. in this hidden power, the power that helps you to move and live I merely talked about these things in my own everyday words in and breathe and have your being, the power that takes one seed terms of my own personal experience with them. The laws which govern this universe work for good as soon as we obey them, Page 22 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 15

There is one more purification, and that is purification of mo- and develops it into a child in the mother’s womb, and brings it tive. What is your motive for whatever you may be doing? If it is forth. And then that power is still in the child and it continues to pure greed or self-seeking or the wish for self-glorification, I grow. Why? Does the mother or the father have anything to do would say, Don’t do that thing. Don’t do anything you would do with that? No! It is the God within, the intelligence within, that with such a motive. But it isn’t that easy because we tend to do keeps that body growing and growing and developing and devel- things with very mixed motives, good and bad motives all mixed oping, which puts thoughts in the mind and helps the child to together. Here’s a man in the business world: his motives may speak and to think and to walk and to gradually become a whole not be the highest, but mixed in with them are motives of caring human being but for one purpose, and that is to find that indeed for his family and perhaps doing some good in his community. you have the presence of God, the power of God within you, Mixed motives!…I’ve met a few people who had to change their every moment of your lives, if you will only use it.… jobs in order to change their lives, but I’ve met many more peo- You Must Put your Mind on Him ple who merely had to change their motive to service in order to change their lives. …I am not God, but God is within me, and it is He who speaks to you, who thinks through you, who acts through this form to do Now, the last part. These are the relinquishments. Once you’ve for all of you. And I am like what the Master said. That is an ex- made the first relinquishment you have found inner peace, be- act description of my life. I am totally surrendered to God and I cause it’s the relinquishment of self-will. You can work on this live only for the purpose of serving Him in each one of you. But by refraining from doing any not-good thing you may be moti- I cannot get inside of you and do the work for you. You must vated toward, but you never suppress it! If you are motivated to take the techniques that have been given to you. You must take do or say a mean thing, you can always think of a good thing. time out from your busy world and sit and commune with God You deliberately turn around and use that same energy to do or and meditate upon Him and listen to His voice of direction, and say a good thing instead. It works! raise yourselves up from the sons of man to the Sons of God be- The second relinquishment is the relinquishment of the feeling cause each one of us has that power within us, that power and of separateness. We begin feeling very separate and judging eve- that intelligence which, if we will open our hearts—if we will go rything as it relates to us, as though we were the center of the beneath the tip of the iceberg, if we will tap that hidden power— universe. Even after we know better intellectually, we still judge has the power to change our whole lives and our whole world. things that way. In reality, of course, we are all cells in the body And we will never be the same again. of humanity. We are not separate from our fellow humans. The You know how much you have developed since first you whole thing is a totality. It’s only from that higher viewpoint that came, the changes that have taken place in your life. But you are you can know what it is to love your neighbor as yourself. From still in mid-stream, many of you, and you still have a way to go. that higher viewpoint there becomes just one realistic way to But it can happen overnight because there is within you a greater work, and that is for the good of the whole. As long as you work than you will ever find anyplace. And that miracle is the for your selfish little self, you’re just one cell against all those all-powerful God. And He will guide you. He will direct you. He other cells, and you’re way out of harmony. But as soon as you will take care of you. He will supply your needs. But you have to begin working for the good of the whole, you find yourself in go above your human consciousness, above the idea that you are harmony with all of your fellow human beings. You see, it’s the doing something, and let God do it. Just relax! Get at peace with easy, harmonious way to live. yourself. Open your whole being to Him and put your mind on Page 16 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 21

Him. Imagine yourself being lifted up into the arms of God.… There is also a fourth preparation and it is the simplification of Your Destiny in God life to bring inner and outer wellbeing—psychological and mate- …You have a responsibility as a child of God, to go within rial well-being—into harmony in your life. This was made very yourself, to find out what your destiny is in God, and to take the easy for me. Just after I dedicated my life to service, I felt that I necessary means to let go of the past, to let go of anything and could no longer accept more than I needed while others in the everything which is retarding your spiritual progress, and make world have less than they need. This moved me to bring my life the Christ your sweetheart, your lover, your constant companion. down to need-level. I thought it would be difficult. I thought it Go forth in the knowledge that you were brought here but for would entail a great many hardships, but I was quite wrong….I one purpose, and that was to be the bride of Christ. And you will discovered this great truth: unnecessary possessions are only un- find such light, such satisfaction, such peace, such wonder, such necessary burdens. love, such power starting to develop within you and around you Then I discovered that there were some purifications required that you will never be the same again. of me. The first one is such a simple thing: it is purification of Know ye not that ye are ? You have the son of God in the body. This has to do with your physical living habits. You’d you. He is your light, your love, your everything. Go to Him. Be think this might be the first area in which people would be will- one with Him. And you will abide in His bliss and in the power ing to work, but from practical experience I’ve discovered it’s and beauty of His Presence forevermore. often the last because it might mean getting rid of some of our bad habits, and there is nothing that we cling to more tena- ciously. There is a second purification I cannot stress too much be- Out of the Mouths of Babes cause it is purification of thought. If you realized how powerful Over the years I have noticed how little chil- your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. dren respond to seeing the pictures of the saints They can be a powerful influence for good when they’re on the we have hanging in our home. Some adults (who positive side, and they can and do make you physically ill when are not devotees) will kind of advert their eyes they’re on the negative side….If you’re harboring the slightest when they see them but our grandchildren re- bitterness toward anyone, or any unkind thoughts of any sort spond with delight. They have no mental barriers whatever, you must get rid of them quickly. They aren’t hurting to the love and joy they see in the eyes of the mas- anyone but you. It is said that hate injures the hater, not the ters. hated. It isn’t enough just to do right things and say right things, A few months ago our three year old grand- you must also think right things before your life can come into daughter, Frances, was taking a nap in our bed- harmony. room. She often likes to have Om Sri Ram playing The third purification is the purification of desire. What are while she sleeps. This day I entered the room to the things you desire? Do you desire new clothing, or pleasures, see her gazing up at the beautiful large framed or new household furnishings or a new car? You can come to the photo of Swami Satchidananda. point of oneness of desire just to know and do your part in the “Swamiji loves children,” Frances said authoritatively. “Can I Life Pattern. When you think about it, is there anything else as go see him someday?” -Cate Koler really important to desire? Page 20 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 17 Peace Pilgrim’s 12 Point Plan [from Steps Toward Inner Peace. Peace Pilgrim walked more than Who But You Could Deck the Flower 25,000 miles spreading her message of peace. This material was used in Yogacharya David’s recent workshop at Loon Lake.] with Pearly Dew? …I would like to mention some preparations By Swami Yogananda that were required of me. The first prepara- (Dedicated to all Yogoda Students) tion is a right attitude toward life. This means—stop being an escapist! Stop being a Thy baby bud-flower surface-liver who stays right in the froth of On the breast of Mother Earth, the surface. There are millions of these peo- ple, and they never find anything really Nursed by wind and shower worthwhile. Be willing to face life squarely Opens its lily lips, and in mirth and get down beneath the surface of life Sips Thy milk of sunny rays, where the verities and realities are to be While the cradle of the breeze sways. found. That’s what we are doing here now. …The second preparation has to do with Then it opens its ruby lips, bringing our lives into harmony with the spread with the honey of light and dew, laws that govern this universe. Created are not only the worlds And softly sobs and cries for You. and the beings but also the laws that govern them. Applying both Then You sing your lullaby soft, in the physical realm and in the psychological realm, these laws With the rustle of the leaves aloft. govern human conduct. Insofar as we are able to understand and Who but You could deck the flower bring our lives into harmony with these laws, our lives will be in with color and pearly dew. harmony. Insofar as we disobey these laws, we create difficulties for ourselves by our disobedience. We are our own worst ene- Then your dame nursemaid, Nature, mies. If we are out of harmony through ignorance, we suffer Grows the baby bud’s stature somewhat; but if we know better and are still out of harmony, then we suffer a great deal…. Into a full-grown lady flower, With costume of painted petals. …There is also a third preparation that has to do with some- Then she learns to dance in the hall of bowers, thing which is unique for every human life, because every one of us has a special place in the Life Pattern. If you do not yet know And in joy drops from her silken tassels clearly where you fit, I suggest that you try seeking it in recep- The wealth of fragrance to all and You. tive silence. I used to walk amid the beauties of nature, just re- ceptive and silent, and wonderful insights would come to me. Such beauty and perfumed heart, You begin to do your part in the Life Pattern by doing all the Who but You could start good things you feel motivated toward, even though they are just In the flower with lips of pearly dew. little good things at first. You give these priority in your life over all the superficial things that customarily clutter human lives…. Page 18 The Cross and The Lotus Journal The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 19

In Memorium: Ramamani 1927-2013 mine lit up when she walked into the room; she would enter so very, very quietly. She almost slips around the door frame; her M.K. Ramamani was born on October 6, (Saraswati’s puja own light frame silently appearing. The presence of her body is day) and left the body April 17 in Bangalore. She had been a followed by a gentle smile and then her eyes light up and she teacher of at various institutions, including the National pours oceans of love into you before she ever so slightly lowers Education Society, a musician and singer, and a lover of saints. hers to the floor. She refuses help in the kitchen and a small ex- In 1996, when Larry stepped out of the taxi at Anandashram plosion arises when I try to move the dishes off of the table and for the first time, he met Swami Vishwananda and they were in- into the kitchen. ‘It is my duty’ she says, with her eyes shining stantly bonded. When Yogacharya David, Phyllis, Larry and I invisible beams of light straight into my heart and I know that traveled to India in 1998, Swami V was our tour guide. Devotees she really means it. “It makes me SO happy to serve you…” of this path met him when he came to US and Canada. Later, She drifts in and out of the room as Swamiji tells me story af- when some of us (including David and Carla) visited Swamiji at ter story of his experiences with great saints, but today, at the his home we were attended by Swamiji’s niece, Ramamani end of the second day of stories and pictures, his stories drifted (nicknamed Papu), who served him for 25 years. All of us came into the life of Papu and pictures and stories of her spiritual life away from our time with her feeling like we had just visited a came out to lie on the same table where a lifetime of stories dear mother. One rarely receives such a loving welcome and about great Masters and those who love to be in their presence, witnesses such an example of selfless service. Dear Mother, you had lain. There she was, with Papa and Mataji. Next came a are now in the bosom of the great saints you revered. - C. K. story of Anandamayi Mai and the time that Ma heard this sweet girl (Papu) singing Bengali chants. Ma was captivated by her A Life of Service voice and would always make Papu sing; when By Phyllis Victory came to Bangalore, Papu composed a beautiful song to Ma, right Papu. She is a tiny woman; maybe 5 feet, if she stands on her on the spot. Everyone in the audience was wildly and apprecia- tiptoes. She might be easy to miss if you are not listening or tively clapping. Later I came to learn that she plays the Veena watching for the invisible. and is quite a composer. Papu is about 82, and is Swamiji’s niece (the daughter of Swa- When she visited Anandashram, Papa used to ask her to sing miji’s eldest sister). She lives Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram in the hall. Once when she had with Swami Vishwananda, chanted for over an hour, Mataji brought her buttermilk to sooth looking after his every need. her throat. There is a picture of Mataji and Papa which is very She came to live with him when special to both Swamiji and Papu, as Papu was allowed to stand he got sick many years ago and next to Papa; something that Swamiji himself never had the has stayed. She knows how to privilege to do. serve; quietly, elegantly and And then, in the quiet afternoon, inside the yellow house in whole-heartedly. Bangalore, in early March, with Swami Vishwananda and my- My real relationship with her self, Papu unexpectedly burst into song. For 15 minutes we were began two visits before, when treated to the heartfelt Bengali songs that she had also sung for our love for each other began to Anandamayi Ma. She has stolen my heart one more time. shine in our eyes. I noticed