<<

"YOUNG "

SCREENPLAY by

GENE WILDER

FIRST DRAFT FADE IN: EXT. A BOLT OF LIGHTNING! A CRACK OF THUNDER! On a distant, rainy hill, the old Frankenstein castle, as we knew and loved it, is illuminated by ANOTHER BOLT OF LIGHTNING. MUSIC: AN EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY begins to PLAY in the b.g. as we MOVE SLOWLY CLOSER to the castle. It is completely dark, except for one room -- a study in the corner of the castle -- which is only lit by candles. Now we are just outside a rain-splattered window of the study. We LOOK IN and SEE: INT. STUDY - NIGHT An open coffin rests on a table we can not see it's contents. As the CAMERA SLOWLY CIRCLES the coffin for a BETTER VIEW... A CLOCK BEGINS TO CHIME: "ONE," "TWO," "THREE," "FOUR..." We are ALMOST FACING the front of the coffin. "FIVE," "SIX," "SEVEN," "EIGHT..." The CAMERA STOPS. Now it MOVES UP AND ABOVE the satin-lined coffin. "NINE," "TEN," "ELEVEN," "T W E L V E!" CUT TO: THE EMBALMED HEAD OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN Half of still clings to the waxen balm; the other half has decayed to skull. Below his head is a skeleton, whose bony fingers cling to a metal box. A HAND reaches in to grasp the metal box. It lifts the box halfway out of the coffin -- the skeleton's fingers rising, involuntarily, with the box. Then, as of by force of will, the skeleton's fingers grab the box back and place it where it was. Now the "Hand" -- using its other hand -- grabs the box back from the skeleton's fingers. The skeleton no longer resists. CORNELIUS WALDMAN 2. whose "Hands" we have just seen, now carries the box to a small table. He takes a tiny key out from his vest pocket and begins to unlock the metal box. NINE PEOPLE watch him closely. They are seated on chairs in the study, waiting to hear the contents of Beaufort Frankenstein's will. Their dress is turn-of-the-century Transylvanian. Cornelius Waldman fumbles with the lock, emitting strange grunts as he tries to open it. With each grunt, the face of a "potential Heir" is SEEN, squirming with frustration or anger. FIRST VILLAGER (WALTER) Fumbling fool! For two kronen I'd rip that box right out of his hands. ILSE (HIS WIFE) Shhh! NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER (HENRICH) Hurry. Idiot, hurry! AGATHA (HIS WIFE) Quiet, Henrich! We've waited seventy years...another three or four seconds won't hurt. NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER Another three of four more seconds? I could be dead by then. AGATHA Shhh! FIFTH VILLAGER (A MAN) What if he's left you out? HELENE (HIS GIRL FRIEND) Just let him try -- I'll take care of him. ANASTASIA (A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN) Oh, Mommy...I hardly remember. Did the Baron really like me when I was a child? MARLENE (HER MOTHER) Like a father! NINTH VILLAGER (WOLFGANG) (muttering to himself) Wenn dieser Bloder kerl sich nicht beeilt verde ich verruckt. Was zum Teufel machte? 3. MARLENE Shhh! Cornelius Waldman finally opens the lock. He takes out an old parchment, puts on his glasses, coughs and sputters a few times, and then begins to read. CORNELIUS WALDMAN 'I, Beaufort Frankenstein, in this my eighty third year of life, do hereby make, publish and declare the following statements as and for my last will and testament, and I direct my executor, Cornelius Waldman, to inform and assemble those persons previously divulged to him, that they may hear -- in my own voice -- the final disposition of my property.' At the words, "In my own voice," the nine "Potential Heirs" exchange curious glances. CORNELIUS WALDMAN (CONT'D) (still reading) 'Such disposition to commerce at the hour of twelve o'clock of my one hundredth birthday. If all the conditions heretofore set forth have been met, now then -- hear once more, and for the last time...the authenticity of my own voice!' Cornelius Waldman nos to a Clerk, HERR FALKSTEIN, who is standing nearby. Herr Falkstein places the needle of an old victrola onto an already spinning record. It SCRATCHES and then begins to PLAY. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) How do you do this thing? Where? In here? Just talk right into it? All right. Am I close enough? All right, all right -- get the hell out of the way. (he clears his throat, then speaks in a deep, majestic voice) The once proud name of Frankenstein has been dragged, by my only son, Victor, into an abyss of shame. There was a time when the name 'Frankenstein' conjured dreams of virtue, of honor and devotion. Now, no guilt, no malignity, no misery can be found to equal mine. (MORE) 4. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) And the catalogue of sins of my once devoted son will not cease to rankle in my wounds until death shall close them forever -- so supremely frightful is the effect of any human endeavor to mock the stupendous mechanism of the Creator of the world. Did you get all that? Are you sure you got 'rankle in my wounds'? I'll kill you if you screw this up. All right, all right. Now as to the disposition of my estate. Everyone in the room sits alert. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) To my cousins, Henrich and Agatha... CUT TO: THE NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER AND HIS WIFE VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...and to my cousin Walter and his wife Ilse... CUT TO: WALTER AND ILSE VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...and to my niece Helene... CUT TO: HELENE sitting with her boyfriend. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...and my dear nephew Wolfgang... CUT TO: WOLFGANG sitting alone. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...and lastly, to my cherished old friend, Marlene, and her charming daughter, Anastasia... CUT TO:

ANASTASIA AND HER MOTHER 5. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...to all of you, in equal shares, I hereby give, devise and bequeath, absolutely and without any restrictions whatsoever, all property of every sort and description, whether real, personal or mixed, to which my estate shall be entitled. HENRICH AND AGATHA are hugging each other. WALTER AND ILSE hugging each other. HELENE AND ANASTASIA hugging each other. WOLFGANG is hugging himself. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) Unless...! GROUP SHOT They all look up suddenly from their hugging. ANOTHER ANGLE SCRATCH, SCRATCH, SCRATCH...the needle has reached the end of the first side. HERR FALKSTEIN lifts the arm off and turns the record over. HERR FALKSTEIN (apologetically) It's a seventy eight. He places the needle on the record. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) ...Unless...my only male heir, my great-grandson, Frederick -- whom I have never seen but who is, at the time of this recording, ten years of age and residing in America with my granddaughter, Katherine -- has, by his own free will, embraced Medicine as his career and acquitted himself (MORE) 6. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) with some measure of esteem. Then, to him I leave...everything! The nine "Potential Heirs" are expressionless. VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D) My castle, together with its laboratory, its public and private library, and all notes and journals contained therein, all acreage surrounding my estate, plus all income and principle thereof...in the fond hope that yet another Frankenstein shall lift our family name to an eminence of dignity, and sanity, that it once enjoyed. As for my dear friends and relations, should this latter improbability come to be...I know that I have your complete understanding. For the road to salvation and repentance must be paved up the avenue of my soul, and not up yours, up yours, up yours, up yours, up yours... Herr Falkstein removes the needle from the finished record. CORNELIUS WALDMAN Herr Falkstein! Did you inform Frederick Frankenstein of this assembly and all the particulars of the time and place? HERR FALKSTEIN I did, sir. He takes a cablegram out from his pocket. HERR FALKSTEIN (CONT'D) But I received a cable only this morning, saying that he could not come. CORNELIUS WALDMAN Was he aware of the importance of this occasion? HERR FALKSTEIN Yes, sir, he was. But he said he was obligated to lecture at Johns Hopkins University. CORNELIUS WALDMAN What lecture could be more important than the will of Baron Beaufort Frankenstein? 7. HERR FALKSTEIN (reading the cable) 'Functional areas of the cerebrum in relation to the skull.' The Ninety-Year-Old Villager passes out. ANASTASIA (very sweetly) Excuse me, Mr. Waldman -- excuse me for interrupting. But is Frederick, then...a medical doctor? CORNELIUS WALDMAN Yes, my dear, he is. ANASTASIA And has he achieved...any special degree of eminence? CORNELIUS WALDMAN He is the fifth leading authority in his field. ANASTASIA (sinking her head into her hand) Oh, shit. CORNELIUS WALDMAN Herr Falkstein -- you must go at once and present Dr. Frankenstein with all the details of his inheritance. The estate will provide for your journey. HELENE I object, Herr Waldman! This is a travesty. If the beloved great- grandson cared anything at all for the House of Frankenstein, he would have shown it by being here with those of us who still have some respect. I think we should completely disregard the afterthoughts of a very old man. CORNELIUS WALDMAN Madam -- the foundation of civilization rests upon adherence to the law. And the Law is the Law. Das Gesetz ist das Gesetz! Wolfgang -- the man who mutters only in German -- CRASHES the back of his head halfway into the wall behind him. 8. CORNELIUS WALDMAN (CONT'D) Herr Falkstein! You have your instructions! HERR FALKSTEIN Yes, sir. CORNELIUS WALDMAN I have taken an oath that each letter of this testament shall be executed...and by God, it shall be done! The lid of Beaufort Frankenstein's coffin SLAMS SHUT by itself. DISSOLVE TO: LEGEND ON THE SCREEN IT READS: JOHNS HOPKINS HOSPITAL, BALTIMORE, MARYLAND INT. MEDICAL ARENA - DAY Herr Falkstein quietly enters into the balcony of an arena packed with young MEDICAL STUDENTS. A lecture is in progress. LECTURER'S VOICE (o.s.) If we look at the base of a brain which has just been removed from a skull, there's very little of the midbrain that we can actually see. Herr Falkstein proceeds, almost on tiptoe, along the aisle towards a vacant seat. He is carrying a briefcase and a small metal box. LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D) (o.s.) Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecture last week, if the under aspects of the temporal lobes are gently pulled apart, the upper portion of the stem of the brain can be seen. Herr Falkstein's footsteps ECHO ever so lightly against the cold stone floor, as he passes the faces of students intense with concentration. LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D) (o.s.) This so called 'brain stem' consists of the midbrain, a rounded protrusion called the pons, and a stalk tapering downwards called the medulla oblongata (MORE) 9. LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D) which passes out of the skull through the foramen magnum and becomes, of course...the spinal cord. Herr Falkstein finds a vacant place and sits down. LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D) (o.s.) Which brings us directly to the demonstration prepared for today. Are there any questions before we proceed? MEDICAL STUDENT (rising) I have one question, Dr. Frankenstein. CUT TO: ANOTHER ANGLE Our first LOOK at the famous Lecturer. FREDDY That's 'Fronkonsteen.' MEDICAL STUDENT I beg your pardon? FREDDY My name is pronounced Fron kon steen. MEDICAL STUDENT Oh! I thought it was Dr. Frankenstein. FREDDY No, it's Dr. Fronkonsteen! MEDICAL STUDENT But aren't you the grandson of the famous Dr. ?... who performed such fascinating experiments in electricity and galvanism? FREDDY That's true! But my grandfather, Victor was, after all, what we might politely refer to as... a cuckoo! Polite laughter. 10. FREDDY (CONT'D) I prefer, by far, to be remembered for my own small contributions to science. Now if we can proceed to your questions. MEDICAL STUDENT Well sir... I'm not sure I understand the distinction between 'Reflexive' and 'Voluntary' nerve impulses. FREDDY Very good! Since our lab work today is a demonstration of just that distinction... why don't we proceed? Behind Freddy is a PATIENT, lying on an operating table. CARLSON, an assistant, stands near the Patient, next to a small table of instruments. FREDDY (CONT'D) What are we actually talking about when we use the term, 'Brain'? We are talking about... a cauliflower! Freddy turns to Carlson. FREDDY (CONT'D) May I have the cauliflower, please! Carlson hands Freddy a giant cauliflower. FREDDY (CONT'D) If we make a small slit, down the center of this cauliflower... Freddy turns to Carlson, who hands him the scalpel. Freddy makes a small slit down the center of the cauliflower. FREDDY (CONT'D) ...and then, ever so gently, gently, gently... pull it apart... Freddy has some difficulty pulling the cauliflower apart. It begins to crumble, but he goes on, professionally. FREDDY (CONT'D) ...we should find, with any luck at all... a stalk of... celery! There is no celery inside the cauliflower. Freddy flushes red. 11. FREDDY (CONT'D) (to Carlson) Where did you get this cauliflower? CARLSON From your office, sir. FREDDY Didn't you prepare it with the celery before my lecture? CARLSON Yes, sir. But I must have taken the wrong one when we came up. FREDDY (in quiet rage) Are you trying to make me look like an idiot? CARLSON No, sir. It will never happen again. FREDDY (handing him the cauliflower) Here! This cauliflower is useless to me. Freddy turns back to his audience. FREDDY (CONT'D) With any normal cauliflower, we would have found a stalk of celery, or... 'Brain Stem' which brings us to the practical application of our study. Freddy moves behind the Patient on the table. FREDDY (CONT'D) Mr. Hilltop here -- with whom I have never worked of given any prior instructions to -- has graciously offered his services for this afternoon's demonstration. Mr. Hilltop! HILLTOP Yes, sir? FREDDY Have we ever seen each other before this afternoon? HILLTOP No, sir. 12. FREDDY Tell them! HILLTOP (turning to the Medical Students) No, sir -- we haven't. FREDDY (to his audience) Do I lie? (to Mr. Hilltop) Would you be so kind enough to hop up on your feet and stand beside this table. Mr. Hill top gets off of the table and stands erect. FREDDY (CONT'D) Mr. Hilltop! Would you raise your left knee, please! Mr. Hilltop raises his left knee. FREDDY (CONT'D) You have just witnessed a 'Voluntary' nerve impulse. It begins as a stimulus from the cerebral cortex, passes through the brain stem and then to the particular muscle involved. Mr. Hilltop, you may lower your knee. He lowers his knee. FREDDY (CONT'D) 'Reflex movements are those which are made independently of the will, but are carried out along pathways which pass between the periphery and the central nervous system. You filthy, rotten, yellow son of a BITCH! Freddy pokes his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls. Mr. Hilltop reacts accordingly. FREDDY (CONT'D) We are not aware of the impulses, neither do we intend them to contract our muscles. Yet -- as you can see -- they work by themselves. By this time, Mr. Hilltop has lowered his protective thigh ... a little nervously. 13. FREDDY (CONT'D) Now then! Modern research has shown us that by simply applying local pressure of ' blocking' the nerve impulse... which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp... Freddy reaches out his hand. Carlson hands him a bicycle clamp. Freddy holds Mr. Hilltop's head and places the clamp behind Mr. Hilltop's ears. FREDDY (CONT'D) ... Just at the swelling on the posterior nerve root -- for, oh say five or six seconds... A short pause. Freddy looks at his watch. FREDDY (CONT'D) Why you mother-grabbing BASTARD! Freddy once again jerks his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls. This time Mr. Hilltop doesn't move. He is almost ready to pass out. FREDDY (CONT'D) All communication is shut off. Similarly, damage to a nerve will mean that not all the impulses can get through and there will be weakness of a muscle... Mr. Hilltop collapses to the floor. Freddy never looks down. FREDDY (CONT'D) ...or group of muscles, with some loss of skin sensation on the area supplied by that nerve. In spite of our mechanical magnificence, if there is not this continuous stream of impulses... we would collapse like... a bunch of broccoli. A smattering of POLITE APPLAUSE. Freddy reaches down and removes the metal clamp from Mr. Hilltop's head. FREDDY (CONT'D) (to Carlson) Give him an extra dollar. CARLSON Yes, sir. Carlson picks up Mr. Hilltop and places him on the operating table. 14. FREDDY In conclusion... it should be noted that more than common injury to the nerve roots is always serious, because... once a nerve fibber is severed... there is no way to regenerate life back into it. Are there any more questions before we leave? MEDICAL STUDENT Dr. Fronkonsteen! FREDDY Yes? MEDICAL STUDENT Isn't it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extraordinary means, it actually began to move with voluntary motion? FREDDY A piece of what? MEDICAL STUDENT Vermicelli. FREDDY Are you speaking of the worm, or ... the spaghetti. MEDICAL STUDENT Why the worm, Sir. FREDDY Ah! In science you must be very precise -- it can spell the difference between life and death. (to Carlson) I don't want that fellow in class next semester. CARLSON Yes, sir. FREDDY He has a big mouth. (to Medical Student) Yes! It seems to me I did read something about that incident as a student. But you have to remember that a worm -- with very few exceptions -- is not a human being. 15. MEDICAL STUDENT But wasn't that the whole basis of your grandfathers work, sir...? the re-animation of component parts? FREDDY My father was a sick man. MEDICAL STUDENT But aren't you the least bit curious about it, Doctor? Doesn't the secret of life hold any intrigue for you? FREDDY You are talking about the gibberish ravings of a lunatic mind. MEDICAL STUDENT Yes, but, sir... if it could be accomplished, wouldn't that eliminate disease from the human frame and render man invulnerable to any but a violent death? FREDDY How old are you, young man? MEDICAL STUDENT Nineteen, sir. FREDDY Nineteen! My dear young man... once the human organism has ceased to function, nature has deemed that creature to be dead. MEDICAL STUDENT But look at what's been done with hearts and kidneys! FREDDY Hearts and kidneys are Tinker Toys! I'm talking about the Central Nervous System. MEDICAL STUDENT But, sir... FREDDY I am a scientist...! not a philosopher. He holds up his scalpel. 16. FREDDY (CONT'D) You have more chance of re-animating this knife than you have of mending a broken nervous system, MEDICAL STUDENT But your grandfather's work, sir... FREDDY My grandfather's work was Doo-Doo! Dead is Dead! There's only one thing I am interested in... and that is the preservation of LIFE! POLITE APPLAUSE. However, on the word "Life," Freddy has plunged the scalpel into his thigh by mistake. No one but Freddy and the Movie Audience is aware of this. FREDDY (CONT'D) Class... is... dismissed! The students begin to leave. FREDDY (CONT'D) Carlson! CARLSON Yes, sir? FREDDY Bring me some surgical gauze, a little tape and some disinfectant. CARLSON Yes, sir. Do you want the other cauliflower? FREDDY ... No! Herr Falkstein approaches with the metal box. HERR FALKSTEIN Dr. Frankenstein? FREDDY (through his teeth) Fron kon steen! HERR FALKSTEIN My name is Gerhart Falkstein. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. A CITY STREET - DAY

Herr Falkstein and Freddy are walking along the sidewalk. 17. In the distance, a little OLD VIOLINIST, wearing a Tyrolean hat, plays a cheerful tune on his violin. His open violin case rests on the ground beside him. FREDDY One hundred thousand dollars??? HERR FALKSTEIN Oh, at least, sir. The land alone is worth a small fortune. FREDDY But I can't just drop everything and leave. I have responsibilities and obligations. HERR FALKSTEIN Do you have a hundred thousand of them, sir? Freddy looks at Herr Falkstein. The little Old Violinist has finished his cheerful tune. He now plays the eerie Transylvanian Lullaby that was heard at the opening. FREDDY How long will this whole thing take? HERR FALKSTEIN A week. Ten days at most. FREDDY I'll have to think it over. It's not so easy just to pick up and... Freddy stops -- the music seeping into a dark and forgotten corner of his brain. FREDDY (CONT'D) Curious melody! Haunting, isn't it? Freddy, followed by Herr Falkstein, walks back a few steps and stands next to the Old Violinist as he plays. FREDDY (CONT'D) What's that tune that you're playing OLD VIOLINIST Zis is an old Transylvanian Lullaby. FREDDY How sweet! Such a quaint little tune. Freddy rubs his temples with his fingertips for a moment. FREDDY (CONT'D) May I see your violin? 18. OLD VIOLINIST (handing Freddy the violin) It's an honor for me, sir. You play the violin? FREDDY Oh, just a little. Freddy examines the violin. FREDDY (CONT'D) Nice! Nice little balance to it. OLD VIOLINIST Ja, ja. Freddy, without any emotion, smashes the violin over his knee and then hands the two halves back to the Old Violinist. FREDDY Thank you very much. The Old Violinist takes the two halves, open-mouthed. FREDDY (CONT'D) (to Herr Falkstein) Well... if you're sure that I could accomplish everything in a week... I suppose I could manage it. HERR FALKSTEIN Why did you do that? FREDDY What? HERR FALKSTEIN Break that old man's violin. FREDDY I didn't do that. HERR FALKSTEIN The old violinist -- you smashed his violin over your knee. FREDDY I did not do that. Why would I do a thing like that...? Are you insane? LEGEND ON THE SCREEN IT READS: "IS THIS THE FIRST SIGN OF A SPLIT PERSONALITY?" 19. BACK TO THE SCENE Now Freddy and Herr Falkstein are standing on a corner. FREDDY (CONT'D) All right then, I suppose I owe the family that much. You'll have everything ready for me when I arrive? HERR FALKSTEIN Yes, sir. FREDDY One week at the most!? HERR FALKSTEIN One week -- I'll see to it, sir. FREDDY Well, thank you very much for all your trouble. They shake hands. HERR FALKSTEIN Not at all -- a great privilege, Doctor. FREDDY Saturday night then! I'll take the train to New York and fly from there. HERR FALKSTEIN Saturday night, yes, sir. Have a pleasant journey! Freddy walks off. Herr Falkstein looks back at the little Old Violinist, who is playing the TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY on the top half of his violin. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT Freddy, with a large suitcase and a small briefcase, stands next to a lot of steam...behind which, there appears to be a waiting train. With Freddy is his beautiful, flat-chested fiancee, ELIZABETH. ELIZABETH Darling!...you will be careful!? FREDDY Of course. ELIZABETH You have your tickets? 20. FREDDY Yes. ELIZABETH And your passport? FREDDY Yes, don't worry. ELIZABETH Call me from New York before you leave?? FREDDY Yes. ELIZABETH Promise?? FREDDY I promise. ELIZABETH Oh, darling -- I'll count the hours that you're away. FREDDY Oh, darling -- so will I. CONDUCTOR (o.s.) Board! All aboard! FREDDY I'd better leave. They look at each other; then kiss. ELIZABETH Will you miss me? FREDDY Very....very! ELIZABETH Mother's going to help me with the invitations. FREDDY Oh, nice. ELIZABETH I hope you like large weddings. FREDDY Whatever makes you happy. 21. ELIZABETH I've trimmed the list to only our very closest friends...but it still comes to three thousand. FREDDY You're incorrigible! ELIZABETH Does that mean you love me? FREDDY You bet your boots it does. CONDUCTOR (o.s.) All aboard! ELIZABETH Hurry now -- before I make a fool of myself. They kiss quickly. FREDDY Goodbye, darling. Freddy DISAPPEARS into the steam. ELIZABETH Goodbye, Freddy! Hurry back to me! FREDDY (o.s., from the steam) I will! Goodbye, darling! ELIZABETH Goodbye, darling. A long pause, as Elizabeth gazes into the mass of steam. She wipes a tear from her eye. ELIZABETH (CONT'D) (whispering to herself) Goodbye, darling. FREDDY (o.s., from the steam) Goodbye, darling! A TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS. ANGLE ON TRAIN 22. The train starts up. DISSOLVE TO: INT. TRAIN - NIGHT Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book. A FEW PEOPLE sit near him. A CONDUCTOR walks down the aisle. CONDUCTOR New York next! Everyone out for New York! Freddy looks out the window. DISSOLVE TO: A TRAIN - (STOCK) - NIGHT whizzing through the night. CUT TO: INT. TRAIN - SUNSET Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book. A FEW EUROPEANS sit near him. LEGEND OVER THE SCREEN IT READS: "SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE" A CONDUCTOR wearing a Tyrolean Conductor's hat, walks down the aisle. CONDUCTOR Transylvania nachste! Jeder austeigen fur TRANSYLVANIA! Freddy looks out the window. He reaches up and takes his suitcase and briefcase off of the rack above him. Then he raises his window and looks out at: A TEN YEAR-OLD GERMAN BOY dressed in lederhosen, a cap, and a shoeshine kit on his back. 23. FREDDY (calling out to him) Pardon me, boy! Is that the Transylvania Station? GERMAN BOY Ja, this is track twenty-nine. He starts OFF. GERMAN BOY (CONT'D) Oh, can I give you a shine? FREDDY Thank you, no. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT Freddy gets off the ancient train and looks for someone WHO MIGHT BE THERE TO MEET HIM. HE SETS DOWN HIS SUIT- case and briefcase. ANOTHER ANGLE From out of the darkness, , a strange man with a hunched back, walks towards him. Behind Igor is a woman, INGA. IGOR Frederick Frankenstein? FREDDY Fron kon steen! IGOR Are you putting me on? FREDDY No, it's pronounced Fron kon steen. IGOR And do you also say Fro dereck? FREDDY No, Fred ereck. IGOR Why isn't it Frodereck Fronkon steen? FREDDY It's not. It's Fredereck Fronkonsteen. 24. IGOR I see. FREDDY You must be Igor. Igor thinks a moment. IGOR No, it's pronounced Aye gor. FREDDY But they told me it was Ee gor. IGOR Well, they were wrong then, weren't they? FREDDY You were sent by Herr Falkstein, weren't you? IGOR Yes, that's right. My grandfather and your grandfather used to pal around together. You and I should have a lot of laughs. FREDDY I'm sure we will. IGOR (indicating the large- breasted woman behind him) This is Inga. They thought you might need an assistant temporarily. FREDDY How do you do? INGA Extremely well. FREDDY How nice. IGOR Are these your bags? FREDDY Yes, just the two. Igor takes the small briefcase and walks OFF. Freddy takes the large suitcase and follows with Inga. 25. INGA Did you have a pleasant trip? FREDDY Yes, thank you. It wasn't bad. They follow Igor past two men -- and Wolfman -- who are sitting quietly on a platform bench. One of the men wears a huge black cape and has two enormous eye teeth. The other man's face and hands are covered with wolf's hair. IGOR (singing to himself) Sun -- rise... Sun -- set! Dee -- dum... Dee -- dum. Freddy, struggling with his suitcase, stares in polite horror at the two men as he and Inga walk past them. FREDDY Good evening. DRACULA Good evening. WOLFMAN Good evening. Freddy and Inga continue on, walking under a dangling sign: "TRANSYLVANIA STATION" DISSOLVE TO: EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - A FEW MINUTES LATER - NIGHT A cart, drawn by two horses, travels up a lonely road. Igor is at the reins. In the back, sitting in mountains of hay, are Freddy and Inga. INGA Did you ever have a roll in the hay? FREDDY (a little nervous) I'm not sure I...get your drift. Inga begins to roll herself over and over in the hay. INGA You should try it -- it's fun. Somewhat embarrassed, Freddy leans over to speak to Igor. 26. FREDDY Incidentally -- I don't mean to embarrass you in any way, but I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump. IGOR What hump? Freddy tries to recover. FREDDY Well...perhaps we can talk about it later. He turns back to Inga for relief. Just then: a BOLT OF LIGHTNING! Inga comes close to Freddy. INGA Sometimes I'm afraid of the lightning. FREDDY Just an atmospheric discharge. Nothing to be afraid of. A HORRIFYING CRY OF A WOLF! FREDDY (CONT'D) (making a joke) Werewolf. IGOR There. FREDDY I beg your pardon? IGOR (pointing to the woods) There wolf! (pointing up the road) There castle! FREDDY Why are you talking like that? IGOR I thought you wanted to. FREDDY No. IGOR Suit yourself...I'm easy. (MORE) 27. IGOR (CONT'D) (confidentially, indicating Inga) Better watch out for the wockers. FREDDY What wockers? IGOR The wockers with the knockers. FREDDY Wockers with the knockers??? IGOR Go ahead, play dumb! You'll lose your sockers and then be fockers. A BOLT OF LIGHTNING. IGOR (CONT'D) (pointing to the top of the hill) Well, there it is... CUT TO: THE CASTLE - NIGHT illuminated by the lightning. IGOR (CONT'D) (o.s., as we see the castle) Home! FREDDY (to himself) Home. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. THE CASTLE As they approach the gigantic front door, FRAU BLUCHER opens a smaller door, within the giant door, and stands on the front stairs to greet them. She holds a lit candelabra. FRAU BLUCHER Welcome! I am Frau Blucher. At the sound of her name, the HORSES REAR. IGOR Down! Down! Steady!! 28. Freddy takes his suitcase and helps Inga out of the cart. He approaches Frau Blucher. FREDDY How do you do? I am Dr. Fronkonsteen. This is my assistant. Inga -- may I present Frau Blucher. The HORSES REAR. IGOR Down! Get down, you beasts! FREDDY I wonder what's got into them? FRAU BLUCHER Your rooms are ready, Herr Doctor. If you will follow me, please. She indicates the small door. FREDDY (calling to Igor) Aye-gor! We'll wait for you inside. Hurry, please! He turns to the door. FREDDY (CONT'D) After you Frau Blucher. The HORSES REAR. Freddy, Inga and Frau Blucher have disappeared through the small door. Igor struggles with the rearing horses. IGOR Easy. Easy! What's very sticky and rhymes with shoe? The horses calm down. IGOR (CONT'D) That's better. Igor takes Freddy's briefcase and heads for the door. IGOR (CONT'D) (to the horses) I'll be back shortly. Just think of model airplanes. Igor shuns the smaller door and pulls the handle that opens the giant door. He walks into the castle. CUT TO: 29. INT. RECEPTION HALL Frau Blucher is waiting on a large staircase with Freddy and Inga. Igor comes up to them. FRAU BLUCHER Shall we proceed? They all follow in the aura of Frau Blucher's candlelight. From outside there is a: LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. When they reach the top of the stairs, Frau Blucher starts down a corridor. Igor walks up to a light switch and tries it. ANOTHER ANGLE as ALL THE LIGHTS COME ON. Igor turns the lights off again, gesturing to Freddy not to say anything because Frau Blucher might be a little bonkers. Inga, Freddy and Igor turn into the corridor and disappear. DISSOLVE TO: INT. FREDDY'S BEDROOM A fire is going in the fire place. Candles are lit in wall sconces. One wall is devoted to books. FRAU BLUCHER I hope you find this comfortable. This was Baron Victor's room. FREDDY It seems fine. FRAU BLUCHER You'll fine the keys to all the rooms in my cas... all the rooms in your castle on this ring. I'll leave it on the table here. FREDDY Does that include the key to the laboratory? FRAU BLUCHER You mean... the laboratory?? FREDDY Yes!... the laboratory. FRAU BLUCHER No! Dr. Frankenstein always kept that separate. FREDDY May I have it, please? 30. A pregnant pause. FRAU BLUCHER Of course. She pulls up on a chain around her neck. At the end of the chain is a key that had been resting against her bosom. She takes it off, kisses it quickly, and sets it on the table. FREDDY (examining the bookcase) There seem to be quite a few books. FRAU BLUCHER Yes, this was Victor's... the Baron's medical library. FREDDY I see. And where is my grandfather's private library? FRAU BLUCHER I don't know what you mean, sir. FREDDY well, there was a public and a private library -- he said so in his will. these books are all very general -- any doctor might have them in his study. FRAU BLUCHER This is the only library I know of. FREDDY Surely he kept his notes -- his private papers and records in some other place? FRAU BLUCHER I think you must be mistaken, sir. FREDDY Well... we'll see. FRAU BLUCHER Will there be anything else? FREDDY I don't think so. Is my assistant taken care of? FRAU BLUCHER I put her in the guest room, just down the hall. 31. FREDDY Good. She leaves. Freddy starts back towards the bookcase and pulls book. ANOTHER ANGLE Door opens and Inga enters. INGA Are you busy? FREDDY That's quite all right. What is it, dear? INGA Could I lie down in your bed for a little while? I just can't sleep. FREDDY We only arrived a few minutes ago. INGA I know, but usually I can fall asleep right away. It must be the strange room. FREDDY Well... INGA Oh please -- just till I get sleepy. Then you can force me right back to my room. FREDDY Well.. I suppose it would be all right, for just a little while. Inga gets into Freddy's bed. FREDDY (CONT'D) Would you like a sandwich? INGA No, thanks! I want to get right to sleep. FREDDY Well... I'll just finish unpacking. As Freddy continues to unpack, he hears a STRANGE "BLOWING" 32. SOUND coming from outside. He goes to the window and looks up. CUT TO: A TURRET AT THE TOP OF THE CASTLE Igor sits in the window, trying to blow a ram's horn. He tries and tries, but can't get one good sustained not. Finally, he throws the ram's horns away and picks up a trumpet. He blows some "SWEET" BLUES. CUT TO: FREDDY lying in a chaise lounge near the bed, reading. He wears his robe over his clothes. Freddy looks at Inga, who is sound asleep. Now he drains the last of his glass of fruit juice and sets it down on an end table. he turns over to sleep. The CAMERA BEGINS TO PAN SLOWLY to the bedroom window. On its way, we SEE: A FEW DROPS OF FRUIT JUICE dripping down the inside of the glass that Freddy has just put down. ANGLE THROUGH THE BEDROOM WINDOW (STOCK FOOTAGE) CLOUDS PASS ACROSS A FULL MOON. DISSOLVE TO: LATER THAT NIGHT Deadly silence! As the CAMERA PANS from the clouds, SLOWLY BACK ACROSS THE ROOM, suddenly -- from the deep recesses or the castle -- A VIOLIN IS HEARD PLAYING: THE EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY. As the CAMERA reaches Freddy, he is tossing restlessly in his sleep. FREDDY (CONT'D) Stop it. Stop it, I tell you I don't want to be perfect. Can't you understand that? I don't want to be perfect! Freddy wakes with a start. He sits up and listens to the MUSIC. Then he stands and crosses to the bed. FREDDY (CONT'D) Inga! INGA (in her sleep) Yes, you may... but don't make any noise. 33. FREDDY (shaking her) Inga, wake up! INGA (slowly waking) What is it? Is something wrong, Doctor? FREDDY Listen! Don't you hear that strange music? INGA (listening) Yes! What could it be at this hour? FREDDY I don't know. It just woke me up. Freddy goes to the bookcase; Inga follows. FREDDY (CONT'D) It seem to be coming from behind this bookcase. He puts his ear against the books and then fells for some hidden button or handle. FREDDY (CONT'D) Hand me one of those candles! Inga takes a candle from a wall sconce and hands it to Freddy. He looks closely at the books, examining some of the titles. One title reads: INSERT - TITLE "SEX AND HAIR GROWTH: IT'S UP TO YOU" FREDDY out of amazement, pulls the book from the shelf. ANOTHER ANGLE A SMALL DOOR OPENS IN THE BOOKCASE. INGA Dr. Fronkonsteen -- look! FREDDY (listening through the open door) Whatever it is, it's coming from down there. I'm going down to see. INGA Let me come with you, Doctor, please! I don't want to stay up here alone. 34. FREDDY All right then, quietly! Close your robe and stay right behind me. Don't make a sound! They enter the secret passage. INT. SECRET PASSAGE Freddy, holding the candle above them, follows the MUSIC down a narrow, winding stairway. The source of the MUSIC GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER, AS THEY FOLLOW THE YELLOW CANDLE- light down, down, down... brushing against the cobwebbed walls. As they pass one section of wall, an ancient sign can just barely be made out in the after glow of their light. It reads: CAPACITY: NOT MORE THAN 3 PERSONS BY ORDER OF: FIRE DEPT. Finally, they reach a landing. A door separates them from whatever lies beyond. Freddy takes hold of the handle... it crumbles in his hand like dust. He gently pushes against the door. It CREAKS slowly open. The VIOLIN MUSIC STOPS! INT. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN'S LABORATORY Freddy and Inga walk into the now famous room. A strange light comes from around a corner. As they walk towards the light, they pass a shelf lined with skulls. They look at each ancient head as they pass. Inga shudder with horror. The forth head is Igor. It looks as if his head is on the shelf, but actually he is standing just behind the shelf. He smiles. FREDDY Aye-gor! IGOR Fro-derick! FREDDY What are you doing here? IGOR I got frightened all alone upstairs, so I came down here. He leads them around the corner, where a glass bowl filled with water is being heated by small flame. 35. FREDDY But what you were doing? IGOR Just putting up some tea. FREDDY Did you hear that strange music? IGOR What? FREDDY Did you hear that strange music?? IGOR What? FREDDY Did you hear that strange music? IGOR No, not sound. INGA There must have been someone else down here then. FREDDY It seems that way. (to Igor) You didn't hear any music at all? IGOR What? FREDDY You didn't hear... nothing! Aren't there any lights in this place? IGOR Two switches over there, but I wasn't going to be the first. Freddy walks over and throws the first switch. OPEN ENDED ELECTRICAL CURRENTS SHOOT OUT ALL OVER. IGOR (CONT'D) Well, it's all right for atmosphere. Freddy turns off the first switch and then throws the other one. "NORMAL" LIGHTS GO ON 36. Now the lab can be SEEN in all its old splendor, but thick in dust and spiders' webs. INGA Ooh! FREDDY What a filthy mess. IGOR I don't know... a little paint, some flowers... FREDDY Did you see anyone else down here? IGOR No, but when I first came in, there was a light coming from behind that steel door. A huge steel door is open a few inches. Freddy goes to the door and listens, then opens it and they all walk in... hesitantly. INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY By the light of Freddy's candle, they see a small, creepy room, filled with musty books. There is a table in the center of the floor. On the table there is a large book, an ashtray, and a VIOLIN AND BOW. INGA (seeing the violin) Look, Doctor! FREDDY Well, this explains the music. INGA But who was playing it? There is a smoldering cigar in the ashtray. FREDDY I don't know, but whoever it was barely finished putting out his cigar. It's still smoldering. (to Igor) Let me smell your breath. Igor exhales in Freddy's face. Freddy nearly passes out. FREDDY (CONT'D) Well, it wasn't you.

He looks around the room. 37. FREDDY (CONT'D) What is this place? IGOR Must be the music room. INGA There's nothing but books and papers. FREDDY I wonder... He looks at the large book lying on the table. He puts his candle over the cover. A LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER as we SEE: CLOSE SHOT - BOOK "HOW I DID IT" BY VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN. Camera pulls back. FREDDY (CONT'D) It is! This was my grandfather's private library. Look at this! IGOR (reading the cover of the book) 'How I Did It.' Good title! FREDDY Funny it should just be lying out here on the table. I wonder what kind of dribble this is? He opens to the first page. FREDDY (CONT'D) (reading aloud) 'Whence, I often asked myself, did the principles of life proceed? To examine the causes of life... we must first have recourse to death.' God, what a looney bin! ANOTHER LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. Freddy's candle almost blows out from a draft. INGA Oh, doctor! FREDDY Perhaps we'd better leave. IGOR Taking the book along? 38. FREDDY Yes, I think we could all use a good laugh. DISSOLVE TO: INT. LAB Freddy is convulsed with laughter. FREDDY This guy is too much. Inga and Igor stare passively. The three of them are drinking tea. More water is boiling in a test tube. FREDDY (CONT'D) (reading) '...and as soon as the dazzling light vanished, the oak tree had disappeared. I knew then that electricity and galvanism had changed my life.' He howls. FREDDY (CONT'D) This guy is bonkers! Did you ever hear anything like this?? ANOTHER LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. As Freddy goes on reading, the CAMERA TRAVELS UP, UP, UP... THROUGH the giant laboratory... as if to seek the source of the THUNDER we HEAR, as the CAMERA MOVES UP: FREDDY'S VOICE (o.s.) 'When I look back now, it seems to me as if this almost miraculous event obliterated any last effort by the spirit of preservation to avert the storm that was even then hanging in the stars.' MORE THUNDER. FREDDY'S VOICE (CONT'D) (o.s.) He kills me! This guy kills me. The CAMERA FINDS a large opening in the ceiling -- an opening through which bodies might be elevated during an electrical storm. THUNDER CLOUDS CAN BE SEEN as the CAMERA PASSES THROUGH the opening into the night air. 39. FREDDY'S LAUGHTER is still HEARD from below. there is a GIANT CRACKLE OF LIGHTNING - as if in reply. Now the CAMERA TRAVELS DOWN. Time has passes and Freddy's voice is hoarse, and more intense, and as the CAMERA TRAVELS DOWN: FREDDY'S VOICE (o.s.) 'Until, from the midst of this darkness, a sudden light broke in upon me -- a light so brilliant and wondrous, and yet so simple!' The CAMERA has reached Freddy. His eyes are burning; he reads almost feverishly. Inga and Igor are half asleep. FREDDY (reading) 'Change the poles from plus to minus and from minus to plus!' Freddy howls insanely. FREDDY (CONT'D) (reading) 'I alone succeeded in discovering the cause of generation of life.' He doubles over in laughter. FREDDY (CONT'D) 'Nay, even more -- I, myself became capable of bestowing animation upon lifeless matter.' He laughs, he laughs, he laughs... then SMASHES his tea glass against a wall. FREDDY (CONT'D) It could work!! A TUMULTUOUS CLAP OF THUNDER. CUT TO: IGOR'S FACE Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. He has a quizzical smile. CUT TO: INGA'S FACE 40. Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. Frightened, yet in awe. CUT TO: FRAU BLUCHER'S FACE - IN A ROOM Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. She is SMOKING A CIGAR. CUT TO: BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN'S COFFIN Illuminated be a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. THE LID SLAMS OPEN AND SHUT, OPEN AND SHUT. CUT TO: FREDDY'S FACE Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. The dark circles under his eyes suggest that he is IRREVERSIBLY INSANE. LEGEND It reads: "IRREVERSIBLY COMMITTED TO THE DARK DESTINY OF ALL THOSE WHO BEAR THE NAME OF 'FRANKENST' NAME OF 'FRANKENSTEIN' 'FRONKONSTEEN.'" FADE OUT FADE IN INT. LABORATORY - MORNING A work space has been hastily prepared. Freddy, dressed quite properly in riding boots and tweed jacket, is reading from "the great book". Inga, dressed in her Lab gown, is taking notes. Igor is drawing on a large pad. FREDDY 'As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed, I resolved to make the Creature of a gigantic stature.' Of course! That would simplify everything. INGA (pointing to another paragraph) And look at this, Doctor! 41. FREDDY (reading) 'Dilation of his sacral parasympathetic impulses would cause an increase in flow of blood and the erection to approximately nineteen inches of his apparatus genitals.' IGOR His what?? INGA His schwanzstucker. IGOR Whew! A nineteen-inch drill. FREDDY Now then! What we're aiming for, is a being about eight feet in height, and all features proportionably large. Igor shows his drawing. IGOR Something like this? They all look at the drawing. They, and we, SEE a crude but impressive sketch of THE MONSTER, and as we look at the drawing: FREDDY'S VOICE (o.s.) You've caught something there. Yes! As a matter of fact -- I think -- that this -- might -- be -- our -- man! As our eyes travel from the top of the drawing to the feet: MATCH DISSOLVE TO: A PAIR OF VERY LARGE, REAL FEET Now the CAMERA MOVES from the feet, BACK UP. EXT. GIBBET - DAY A gigantic BODY is standing on a scaffold. when we reach the head, it is somehow incongruous: A sweet, boyish face -- with a rope around its neck. The "Body" is about to be hanged. next to it stands an EXECUTIONER. 42. EXECUTIONER Have anything to say? THE BODY (in quiet anger) MMmmmgrrrrrrrrr! EXECUTIONER Anything else? THE "BODY" THINKS. THEN: THE BODY Go shove it up your -- The Executioner throws the lever and THE TRAP DOOR FALLS OPEN. The "Body" hangs, lifeless. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT LEAVES BLOW ACROSS A COLD CEMETERY. A coffin is carried by FOUR PALLBEARERS to a deep grave. RELATIVES are waiting by the grave site. Through an iron gate surrounding the cemetery, TWO DARK FIGURES peek through the rails and observe the funeral. One of them has a hunched back. SOFT MOANING is HEARD from one of the Relatives. A MINISTER mumbles Latin under his breath. The Pallbearers set the coffin down on ropes placed over the gravesite. A short distance away are a FATHER and a MOTHER, standing next to a weeping DAUGHTER. FATHER He was a good man. MOTHER He was an angel. FATHER He was a saint! A pause. MOTHER She had to marry this rotten pig instead. 43. FATHER Hanging was too good -- they should have soaked him in lye. The minister nods and TWO GRAVE DIGGERS lower the coffin. The Daughter throws a bouquet of flowers onto the descending coffin. The Minister throws a handful on dirt on top of the coffin -- representing "Ashes to Ashes." CUT TO: INSIDE COFFIN We SEE the FROZEN FACE of "The Body," and HEAR the sprinkled dirt as it HITS the coffin lid. A little dirt seeps in through the lid and lands on the lips of the frozen face. Ever so subtly, the lips make a spitting motion to clear the dirt away. CUT TO: EXT. GRAVEYARD The Grave Diggers are shoveling dirt into the grave. The Relatives and Minister are leaving. FIRST GRAVE DIGGER What a filthy job! SECOND GRAVE DIGGER Could be worse! DISSOLVE TO: FREDDY AND IGOR Knee-deep in the grave, shoveling the dirt out. FREDDY What a filthy job! IGOR Could be worse! FREDDY How? IGOR Could be raining! A CRACK OF THUNDER. 44. Freddy stares at Igor. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. A STREET Freddy and Igor carry the coffin down a street in the POURING RAIN. DISSOLVE TO: INT. LABORATORY Freddy and Igor are just setting the heavy coffin down on an operating table. they take the lid off the hinges and set it aside. FREDDY Wait! Let's tip the coffin over, then just lift it off. It'll be much easier. They tip the coffin over, upside down, like a cake pan. Now... They lift the coffin up... but the operating table remains empty. FREDDY (CONT'D) Set it down! They set it down on the table again. Freddy gives the bottom of the coffin (which is now on top), a big WHACK! They lift the coffin up again and there is the "Body." It had been struck. FREDDY (CONT'D) (looking at the "Body") Magnificent! He checks its nails. FREDDY (CONT'D) Very little decay. With this magnificent specimen for a body, all we need now is an equally magnificent brain. (he looks at Igor) You know what to do! IGOR I have a pretty good idea. Igor glances at the movie audience for a moment. 45. FREDDY Do you have the name I wrote down? IGOR (looking at his sleeve) Yes. Dr. H. Delbruck. FREDDY I want that brain. IGOR Was he any good? FREDDY Was he any good??? He was the finest natural philosopher, internal medicine diagnostician and chemical therapist of this century. IGOR Hmm! FREDDY And he wrote seventeen cookbooks. IGOR That's not bad. FREDDY Can you imagine that brain in this body? IGOR I'm getting excited just thinking about it. What if he's not there? FREDDY He only died two weeks ago -- I'm sure they'll still have him. Hurry now. I'll prepare the body. IGOR (starting to leave) Oh! May I call you 'Master'? FREDDY Why? IGOR It's always been one of my favorite names. FREDDY If you like -- just hurry! IGOR Thank you, Master. 46. Freddy rolls up the "Body's" right sleeve. He gazes at the immensity of the hand in amazement and awe. FREDDY Look at this hand! Look at these fingers! A sudden thought twists through his brain. He sets the dead arm up on its elbow, intertwines his own right hand with that of the "Body's," and gets set for an "Indian Arm Wrestle." Freddy forces the dead arm down -- not without some difficulty -- and then gives the "Body" a triumphant sneer. DISSOLVE TO: A HOSPITAL DOOR The upper half of the door is made of glass. On the glass is printed: B R A I N D E P O S I T A R Y AFTER 5:00 P.M. SHOVE BRAIN THROUGH SLOT IN DOOR The SHADOW OF A MAN can be SEEN silhouetted from inside the Depository. The Man has a large hump on his back. CUT TO: INT. DEPOSITORY - NIGHT LOW THUNDER! A row of brains in jars, under glass domes, rests on a long, narrow table. Igor tiptoes slowly, examining the labels on each glass dome that he passes. ALBERTUS MAGNUS CORNELIUS AGRIPPA LAWRENCE TALBOT (Physicist) (Natural Philosopher) (Hematologist) THEN HE COMES TO: HANS DELBRUCK (Scientist & Saint) Igor approaches the glass dome, lifts it off, and takes the jar containing the brain of Hans Delbruck. As he turns to go, he sees himself in a Full-length mirror. He drops the jar in fright. He looks down and sees the gooks mass of brain and glass.

He looks at the Movie Audience. 47. IGOR Funny thing is... I tried! He sweeps some of the mess under the table with his foot. IGOR (CONT'D) (muttering to himself) Freud would have a heyday with this. Well... He looks quickly at the "Brain table," grabs a jar from under the glass dome nearest to him, and leaves. On the glass dome, whose contents Igor has just taken, is printed: DO NOT USE THIS BRAIN! "ABNORMAL" CUT TO: THE SKY An ominous BOLT OF LIGHTNING! CUT TO: THE FACE OF THE "BODY" He has a few cute stitch marks. Electrodes stick out from both sides of his neck. INT. LABORATORY Freddy, wearing a long, white surgeon's gown and surgical mask, stands over the "Body," which is strapped across the chest and thighs. Freddy has a thimble on the finger of one hand -- a needle and thread in the other. FREDDY Finished! The "Body" is on an operating table, which is in the center of a platform directly below the opening in the ceiling. Inga stands nearby. INGA What a beautiful job! Freddy looks up to the opening in the ceiling. FREDDY (shouting) Ready?? (MORE) 48. FREDDY (CONT'D)

CUT TO: EXT. ROOF Igor stands on the roof, flying two kites in order to attract the lightning bolts. He is wearing rubber boots, rubber gloves, and a rubber whaler's coat and hat. IGOR (shouting down) You're sure you know what you're doing? FREDDY Yes! It's all written down in the notes. Tie off the kites and come down! IGOR Yes, master. Just don't turn on any radios. INT. LABORATORY Freddy hands Inga the needle and thread. Then he grabs an electrical plug, connected to a "battery indicator," and plugs it into two small slits in one of the electrodes in the "Body's" throat... as you would plug in a lamp. He reads the indicator. FREDDY Soon, all the electrical secrets of Heaven shall be mine. INGA Oh, Frederick... you're not only a great doctor, you're a great... you're almost a... FREDDY A god? INGA Yes! FREDDY I know. A CRACK OF THUNDER! Igor comes down a small, spiral staircase from the roof. IGOR You'd better hurry -- I think it's going to rain. 49. FREDDY (to Inga) All right... elevate me! INGA Right here? FREDDY Raise the platform, hurry! INGA Oh! Yes, Doctor. She turns a giant wheel on the wall. The platform rises towards the opening in the ceiling, with Freddy and the "Body" on ,it. FREDDY (as he is going up) The ancient masters promised impossibilities and performed nothing. We shall penetrate into the recesses of nature. We shall ascend into the Heavens. We shall command the thunders of Heaven, mimic the earthquake and even mock the invisible world with its own shadows. IGOR Tonight? FREDDY Yes! When I give the word -- throw the first switch! IGOR You've got it, master. The platform rises higher and higher. RAIN starts to come down on Freddy. FREDDY Get ready! The platform nears the opening. FREDDY (CONT'D) Get set! The platform rises through the opening and then stops. Now Freddy is out in the open air, on the roof. EXT. ROOF A BOLT OF LIGHTNING and a CRACK OF THUNDER! 50. FREDDY Go!! INT. LABORATORY Igor throws the first switch. SPARKS, CURRENTS, DIALS capture our eyes. EXT. ROOF Freddy is getting drenched. He tries to check the "battery indicator" plugged into the "Body." FREDDY (shouting down) Throw the second switch! INT. LABORATORY IGOR (throwing the switch) This guy means business. Igor looks up in awe. EXT. ROOF MORE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING. FREDDY It's not enough. More! More, do you hear me? IGOR What? FREDDY More, do you hear me? IGOR What? FREDDY Throw the third switch! IGOR (throwing the switch) Wait till he sees the bill. INT. LABORATORY The Laboratory is an electrical circus. 51. EXT. ROOF FREDDY All right -- turn everything off and bring me down! INT. LABORATORY Inga turns the giant wheel the other way. Igor throws back the three switches. THE LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL. Inga and Igor watch Freddy and the platform descend. When it reaches the floor, Freddy stands soaked to the skin. ALL EYES ARE ON THE "BODY." FREDDY Nothing! THEY ALL STARE AT: THE FROZEN FACE of the "Body." DISSOLVE TO: INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT Freddy, Inga and Igor sit at a long dining room table, set with food and wine. Freddy stares into space. FREDDY Reputation. Reputation! INGA I thought it was wonderful. FREDDY I don't understand -- I followed the notes to the letter. IGOR You can't win 'em all. FREDDY But there must be a reason. This is science, not art. INGA Pass the Wildschweinbraten mit Gewurzgurkensosse, please. 52. Igor looks at Inga, then passes the meat. CUT TO: INT. LABORATORY The FROZEN FACE is still frozen. The chest is not breathing. The arm is motionless. The FINGERS...... MOVE! CUT BACK TO: DINING ROOM FREDDY Let's look once more. I can't stand just sitting here doing nothing. Maybe we left to soon. Freddy and Igor set up. Inga goes on eating. CUT TO: THE LABORATORY Freddy and Igor walk into the Laboratory and stand next to the "Body." FREDDY (CONT'D) Cold! Cold and dead! IGOR You mustn't take it so hard. Bucharest wasn't built in a day. Freddy leans his head down, in anguish, and rests it on the chest of the "Body." The "Body's" FINGER pushes against Freddy's behind. Igor doesn't see it. FREDDY (to Igor) Don't try to cheer me up that way. IGOR Well, I don't like to see you mope. Igor stands next to Freddy. IGOR (CONT'D) You'll be getting me sad next. 53. FREDDY I'm sorry. I don't mean to take out my frustration on you. You've been a great help to me, and I've let you down. The "Finger" rubs against Igor's behind. IGOR (looking up suddenly) I'm not that sort you know. I appreciate you feelings, but try to show them some other way. FREDDY (lifting his head) You're right! Self-pity never got anyone anywhere. Let's go back and finish our dinner. They leave. The "Finger" OPENS AND CLOSES ITS HAND. CUT TO: DINING ROOM Inga, Igor and Freddy are eating dessert. IGOR What is this? FREDDY Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte. Seeping in from the laboratory, we HEAR: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!" FREDDY (CONT'D) (to Igor) Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts, but this is excellent. IGOR Who are you talking to? FREDDY To you! You just made a 'yummy' sound, so I thought you liked the dessert. IGOR I didn't make a 'yummy' sound -- I just asked what it was. FREDDY But you did -- I just heard it. 54. IGOR It wasn't me. Freddy looks at Inga. INGA It wasn't me. FREDDY Look here - if it wasn't you, and it wasn't you, and it wasn't me... Their eyeballs meet in the center of the room. then they all tear downstairs to the Laboratory. CUT TO: INT. LABORATORY They burst into the room. What we may at last call THE MONSTER is straining, tentatively, against the straps across his chest and thighs. his head is raised. MONSTER MMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNmmmmmmmm?!? FREDDY It's alive! INGA Oh, Doctor! IGOR I think you've done it, master. FREDDY Alive! Look at it. I have defeated death! IGOR Better not get too close, master. This guy could kill you. FREDDY I suppose you're right. Inga! Prepare a sedative, just in case. Inga goes to a medicine case and prepares a hypodermic. The Monster raises its head and makes little circles with its hands, asking to be "free." FREDDY (CONT'D) It's trying to talk. it wants us to take off the straps. 55. IGOR Don't fall for that one. FREDDY But don't you see...the brain of Hans Delbruck is inside this grotesque hulk -- pleading with us. I've got to untie it. IGOR careful, master -- you never can tell with these chaps. FREDDY All right...stand back! Freddy carefully walks up to the Monster and stands over him. The monster is silent, feeling his way. FREDDY (CONT'D) Hello there. MONSTER MMMMMmmmmmmm. FREDDY How's everything? MONSTER (just a suggestion of "not so good") MMMmmmmmmmm. FREDDY I'm going to untie you -- can you understand that? MONSTER (a soft, "crying" SOUND) MMMmmmm! MMMmmmm! FREDDY Yes, I'm going to set you free. (to Inga) Is the sedative ready? INGA Yes, Doctor. Freddy takes the strap across the Monster's thighs and unties it. Then he unties the strap across its chest... and steps back. ALL EYES ARE ON THE MONSTER. TINGLY MUSIC. The Monster looks at them all for a moment while he is still lying down. A slightly sly grin comes to his mouth. He rises...slowly, carefully, to a sitting position. 56. MONSTER (a low, suspicious groan) MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm. FREDDY It's alive. It's -- moving! It's -- breathing! It's -- standing! What is your name? MONSTER (thinking for a moment) ... It's. IGOR Original. FREDDY (holding out his hands) Give -- me -- your -- hand! The Monster slowly extends his hands to Freddy. Freddy takes them and leads the Monster into his first steps. PRODUCTION NUMBER - "ALIVE" ... in which Freddy, the Monster and Igor do a SONG and DANCE that teaches the Monster how to move. Occasionally, Inga and an unseen FIFTY-PIECE ORCHESTRA join in. The Monster tries, in his own special way, to imitate the gentle, "Soft Shoe" examples of Freddy and Igor. But where they "Ping" and "Clink" ... he "PONGS" and "CLONGS." ANOTHER ANGLE After a big finish, the Monster beams ecstatically. he bows out of instinct: "Show Business" is in his blood. FREDDY (CONT'D) Whew! I'm glad that's over with. IGOR You can say that again. FREDDY Yes. IGOR You're just supposed to repeat what you said. FREDDY Why? IGOR What's the point of my setup? (MORE) 57. IGOR (CONT'D) It's not funny unless you repeat exactly what you said. FREDDY I'm not trying to be funny. Igor looks at the Movie Audience. IGOR Repeat it anyway -- it's a wonderful cue. FREDDY ... I'm glad that's... IGOR No, no! That whole thing! FREDDY ... Whew! I'm glad that's over with. MONSTER MMMMmmmmmmmmm! They all look at the Monster. IGOR See what I mean? Freddy gives Igor a dirty look. MONSTER (signifying "More!") MMMmmm! MMMmmm! INGA I think 'It' wants to do it again Doctor. FREDDY It looks that way. INGA What do you think we should do? MONSTER MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! FREDDY Oh...let's do it a little more. ANOTHER ANGLE They all SING and DANCE a short encore of "ALIVE." The Monster gets violently carried away in his search for dance perfection. 58. ANOTHER ANGLE Freddy, Igor and Inga drop from exhaustion after another, even bigger ORCHESTRAL finish. The Monster immediately asks for: MONSTER MMMmmm! They all stare at him in horror. MONSTER (CONT'D) (signifying "More") MMMMmmmmm! MMMMmmmmm! Freddy walks boldly up to the Monster. FREDDY Stop that! Now just stop that this instant and listen to me! The Monster stares at Freddy in fascination. FREDDY (CONT'D) I have given you one of the finest minds of this century. You are a brilliant endocrinologist. You are a superb scientist. And you are making naughty! Now that's enough. Finished! From now on, you will behave like a man, and not a spoiled, snot-nosed, sniveling brat who thinks he can get anything he wants by bullying people with sheer brute force. The Monster gives Freddy a W H A C K you wouldn't believe unless you were there. Inga SCREAMS. IGOR This fellow's got great timing. The Monster picks Freddy up in his two hands and then holds him high over his head. INGA Oh, Doctor -- be careful! The Monster is about to dash Freddy to pieces, when: MUSIC: A VIOLIN is HEARD PLAYING the EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY. The monster FREEZES -- still holding Freddy over his head. MONSTER (soft, pathetic cries) Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm! 59. INGA Doctor! There's that strange music again. what could it be? IGOR It seem to have stopped the big fellow in his tracks. FREDDY (from over the Monster's head) Ayegor! Find out where that music is coming from as quietly and as blindingly fast as you can. IGOR Yes, Master! FREDDY Act casual! Igor casually takes out a box of jujubees from his pocket and eats one. He walks over to the Monster, who is still holding Freddy over his head. IGOR (to the Monster) Care for a jujubee? The Monster lowers one hand -- holding Freddy up with the other -- and takes the box of jujubees. He sniffs them. FREDDY Clever ploy! The Monster drains the box of jujubees in one gulp, then hands the empty box back to Igor. IGOR (looking at the empty box) NO movies together for us -- that's for sure. Igor MOVES OFF in search of the MUSIC. The Monster -- deeply affected by the LULLABY -- slowly sets Freddy down. INGA It's almost as if he were afraid. he loves that music. The Monster begins to hug Freddy and snuggle him. he behaves like a frightened, loving child, as he holds his arms out to Freddy. 60. INGA (CONT'D) I think he wants you to carry him, Doctor. Freddy nods agreement. INGA (CONT'D) What are you going to do? FREDDY I think I'll...carry him. Freddy prepares to lift the Monster. Suddenly: THE MUSIC STOPS! The Monster's eyeballs float menacingly towards Freddy. MONSTER MMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! INGA Doctor! The music has stopped. The Monster's hands creep around Freddy's neck. FREDDY Do you think you can sing it? INGA Me? Sing? FREDDY Yes -- quickly, dear! The Monster is really choking Freddy now. INGA I'd be so nervous. FREDDY This is not the finals -- just sing! INGA (singing) It's some-thing dar-ing, 'The Con-ti- nen-tal,' A way of danc-ing that's real-ly ul-tra new; It's ver-y sub- tle, 'The Con-ti-nen-tal.' The Monster is temporarily distracted. then he gives Inga an angry look. The is not the music that he wants. INGA (CONT'D) (singing) Be-cause it does what you want it to do. 61. MONSTER MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! The Monster's hands tighten around Freddy's neck. INGA (singing) It has a pas-sion, 'The Con-ti nen- tal...' FREDDY Stop -- singing!!! Igor WALKS IN, holding a violin and bow. He sees the Monster choking Freddy. IGOR How's it going? FREDDY What did you find out? IGOR Someone was playing this in the music room. FREDDY Where is he? IGOR How do you know it was a 'he'? FREDDY All right -- where is she? IGOR How do you know it was a 'she'? FREDDY (gasping his last breath) Bring -- me -- the -- violin! IGOR Can you play it? FREDDY Maybe...if you get here on time. Igor goes to Freddy and hands him the violin and bow. Freddy plays the TRANSYLVANIA LULLABY to the best of his ability. The Monster's hands begin to loosen. INGA It's working! Oh, Doctor -- 62. you play beautifully. IGOR Do you know the theme from 'Doctor Zhivago'? FREDDY Get the sedative ready! MONSTER (soft and loving) MMmmm! MMmmm! The Monster hugs Freddy's face. Freddy, still playing the violin, pats the operating table for the Monster to "lie down." He does -- holding onto Freddy's face. INGA I think he wants to be tucked in. FREDDY Get a blanket from under that shelf! Inga gets the blanket. The Monster holds Freddy's head onto his chest, as Freddy continues playing. Inga and Igor spread the blanket over the operating table, then gently tuck the Monster in "bed." The Monster pulls Freddy into bed with him and snuggles against Freddy's shoulder. Freddy continues playing the violin under the covers. FREDDY (CONT'D) (to Inga) All right -- give it to him! INGA Are you serious?? FREDDY Give him the sedative! INGA Oh! Yes, Doctor. She prepares the hypodermic, then lifts up a small section of the blanket -- AWAY FROM OUR VIEW -- and pulls down the Monster's pants a short way. IGOR He's got quite a tush. She puts the needle in. FREDDY Did you do it? INGA I think so. 63. FREDDY Good! It shouldn't take more than a few seconds. Freddy gradually stops playing. MONSTER (quietly, angry) MMMMmmmmmmmm! Freddy starts playing. The Monster kisses him. INGA I'm getting tired. IGOR Why don't we all turn in? It's been a long day. FREDDY Wait -- I'm sure he's out by now. That shot was strong enough to stop a horse. Freddy gradually stops playing. One of the Monster's hands sleepily closes around Freddy's throat. IGOR See you at breakfast, then! Freddy continues playing. INGA Good night, Doctor. FREDDY (afraid to disturb the monster) Good night! IGOR AND INGA LEAVE NEW ANGLE Freddy is left alone with the Monster, still playing the violin. FREDDY (CONT'D) (sarcastically) Thanks...for all your help. IGOR (o.s., from behind a wall) That's what we're paid for. 64. Freddy looks at the Monster -- whose contented face nestles against Freddy's chin. FREDDY (as he plays the violin) This song. This haunting melody. This ancient, quaintly atonal folk tune...is driving -- me -- crackers! I can't go on -- do you understand?? Can NOT go on playing this pathogenically rotten song. If you're not asleep yet, then kill me if you have to, but at the count of three...I stop! One!...... Incidentally, I was thinking of making a big breakfast tomorrow -- blueberry waffles and crisp bacon. Two!...... By the way, I'm sorry I yelled at you before -- I must have been over-tired. Anyway, I meant to apologize and just forgot. Two!...... Maybe tomorrow would be a good day just to relax -- go for a swim, maybe do a little water skiing. Well...we'll see after we finish a nice breakfast. Three! Freddy stops playing. The monster is sound asleep. Freddy puts the violin down, throws off the blanket, then ties the straps that bind the Monster to the operating table. FREDDY (when the Monster is firmly tied) Spoiled Sissy! Freddy picks up the violin again and stares at it. FREDDY (CONT'D) The song is over! He looks at the sleeping Monster. FREDDY (CONT'D) Das lied ist aus! He breaks the violin in half. Immediately, he feels a sense of relief and lightheadedness. FREDDY (CONT'D) Oh! Oh my! What a strange feeling that was. My head -- I felt such a pressure, splitting my head apart. I feel so relieved and lightheaded. (MORE) 65. FREDDY (CONT'D) That horrible pressure...like voices...all calling to me, imploring me...swearing at me. Well, it's over now, thank goodness. (he turns to the Monster) Oh...my poor Doctor Delbruck. (he strokes the Monster's head) Doctor, Doctor...what have I done to you? Was habe ich von Dir gamacht? Your magnificent brain, locked in this...pile of... Forgive me, Doctor. I thought -- for science only. I couldn't stand the thought to mankind. I was a fool! How dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge, and how much happier is that man who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow. Con you ever forgive me? He puts his head down in silent prayer. MUSIC: ANOTHER VIOLIN PLAYS: THE EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY. Freddy's body tenses. We cannot see his face, but his fingers go to his temples. He slowly raises his head. FREDDY (CONT'D) That's a knockout tune! That tune is a winner. You can't call it 'wishy- washy' ... like some people I know. That song is going places. (he looks at the Monster) And so are we -- Blubber Boy. With your body, and the brain of that kraut -- we'll be 'Number One' in no time. The MUSIC is PLAYING LOUDER and FASTER. FREDDY (CONT'D) Right, voices?? I hear you skipping away in there. 'Do better than your father!' You're telling me I will. 'Do better than my grandfather!?' I'll make my famous grandfather look like a part-time nurse. He rises. FREDDY (CONT'D) There's no stopping now. Destiny is too potent. I -- want -- perfection! 66. A BOLT OF LIGHTNING! FREDDY (CONT'D) I want a lot of it...and the best there is. He grabs the Monster's head and hits it. A CRACK OF THUNDER! FREDDY (CONT'D) Because from now on... CUT TO: INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY Frau Blucher is insanely playing the violin and watching Freddy through a crack in the door. CUT BACK TO: INT. LABORATORY FREDDY ...the only act we follow is the creation of fire. I'm going to explore unknown powers...I'm going to unfold to the world the deepest mysteries of creation...and I'm going to make -- my -- mommy -- proud! FADE OUT FADE IN MONTAGE - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY Mirrors and a warmup bar run along three walls. Throughout the Montage, the Monster is dressed in leotards and lederhosen. INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM The Monster is at the warmup bar, doing ballet exercises to the MUSIC OF CHOPIN -- which is being PLAYED on the PIANO by Igor. Inga -- also in leotards -- is at the bar in front of the Monster, so that he may follow her example. Freddy sits on a chair in the middle of the floor, pounding out the "count" with a long stick. FREDDY And one and two and three and four and lift -- lift , three and four (MORE) 67. FREDDY (CONT'D) and don't look sad for sympathy; you know we only stop to pee. And lift -- lift, three and four and try and not to break the floor. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM Freddy and Inga are wearing different clothes -- to denote change of time. Inga only watches this time, as the Monster tries a few "points" and "turns" across the room on his own. Igor plays Chopin. FREDDY (CONT'D) And one and two and point your toes and two and two and stretch you thighs and three and two and lift your knees and watch that nasty temper, please. The Monster is getting angry. FREDDY (CONT'D) And one and two and point your toes... Igor stops playing the piano, but continues speaking with the "count." IGOR And Oh-oh, Oh-oh...there he goes. The Monster's hands are around Freddy's neck. FREDDY And oopy, not so hasty, please, and stretch your legs and lift your knees. The monster, involuntarily, continues his footwork while he is trying to choke Freddy. Freddy picks up a violin from under his chair and plays the EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY -- BUT IN THE SAME RHYTHM THEY HAVE BEEN USING, so that not a "count" is missed. FREDDY (CONT'D) And even though we're nose to nose, Always, always point your toes! Don't knot your fists like monsters do, but light-ly, gently, pas de deux. A grateful boy who has a chance would never kill if he could dance. (MORE) 68. FREDDY (CONT'D) So take your fingers off my throat and two -- remove them from my chest and three and two, continue please; I didn't say 'It's time to rest.' Don't stand flat footed; point your toes! Don't hang your hands like some dumb clod; Always lift them gracefully, like little chil-dren praying to God. That's the way an angel grows but first he learns to POINT his TOES! Igor continues playing Chopin. The Monster goes back to his exercises. FREDDY (CONT'D) And one and two and stretch your thighs and two and two and lift your knees... DISSOLVE TO: INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM The angelic face of the Monster sits in perfect concentration, as he prepares to play the harp. He lightly ripples the strings: his face lights up! He ripples the strings a second time: he is in ecstasy. On the third ripple: ALL THE STRINGS COME OUT in his hands, like a mass of spaghetti. Freddy, Igor, and Inga try not to look at each other. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM MUSIC: a phonograph RECORD PLAYS TCHAIKOVSKY. The Monster is dancing "reasonably" well with A YOUNG BALLERINA. Freddy, Igor and Inga watch with great expectation. The Monster lifts the Ballerina up, and sets her down. He lifts her up, and sets her down. Now he takes her hand, prepares for the "big Twirl," lifts her up, and twirls her through the air. 69. The Young Ballerina sails out of the open window. CUT TO: EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY An ELDERLY COUPLE are driving their horse and wagon to town. A YOUNG BALLERINA SAILS PAST THEIR EYES. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHERSAL ROOM Freddy and the Monster stand over two enormous xylophones. Each holds his two wooden hammers. Freddy -- at his xylophone -- passionately laces into Rimsky Korsokov's "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLE BEE." The Monster strokes -- in perfect time -- the LAST NOTE of each phrase. The crowning glory is a slow bridge of SEVEN PERFECT NOTES BY THE MONSTER. When the piece is finished, Freddy, the Monster, Igor and Inga all hug each other in triumph. TRIUMPHAL MUSIC. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT A POSTER READS: BUCHAREST STATE THEATRE TONIGHT ONLY DR. F. FRONKONSTEEN IN "THE GREATEST DISCOVERY SINCE FIRE" PRESENTED IN COOPERATION WITH T N S (TRANSYLVANIAN NEUROLOGICAL SOCIETY) A "SOLD OUT" sticker is pasted across the poster. CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT The audience is filled with ELDERLY SCIENTISTS, their WIVES, and THE CURIOUS from the upper crust in society. All are elegantly dressed in cheap movie studio wardrobe. INGA in a formal, and Igor -- in "something" -- wait excitedly. 70. FREDDY stands on a stage, dressed in tails. FREDDY And now, my fellow scientists and neurosurgeon...I must ask you to ...suspend belief. For up until now, you have seen the Creature perform the simple mechanics of motor activity. That this Creature was an inanimate blob, which I endowed with the secret of life -- yes!...in all honesty -- that showed some measure of skill on my part. But for what you are about to see next...we must enter -- quietly -- into the realm of genius. I say this modestly, only because I am, myself, as in awe of the gifts I possess as if I were observing them in some other person. I think of them, only, as a loan. Grateful, of course...that my credit is good. Thus, with the accumulated knowledge of Chemistry, Electricity, Neuro- surgery...and art...I now present what was once an inarticulate mass of lifeless tissues. Ladies and gentlemen... Mesdames et Messieurs... Damen und Herren...The Creature! Freddy sits down at a beautiful grand piano. He plays a short trill up the keyboard. ANOTHER ANGLE as A SPOTLIGHT hits the darkness next to him. And there -- IN AND TAILS -- stands the Monster. he is heavily made up. FREDDY (CONT'D) (playing the piano and singing) If you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you... The Monster accompanies the music with short, simple "Soft Shoe" steps. FREDDY (CONT'D) ...go where fashion sits...... MONSTER Poo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz! 71. FREDDY Diff'rent types who wear a day coat, pants with stripes and cutaway coat, perfect fits...... MONSTER Poo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz! FREDDY Dressed up like a million dollar trouper Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper. MONSTER Soo -- pah doo -- per. The Audience's faces are absolutely blank. Inga and Igor are thrilled. FREDDY Come let's mix where Rock-e -- fellers walk with sticks or 'um-ber- el-las' in their mitts...... MONSTER Poo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz! The Monster gets a tomato right in the face. He stops cold. FREDDY Dressed up like a million dollar trouper Trying hard to look like Gary Coo -- per. An EMBARRASSING PAUSE. FREDDY (CONT'D) (to the Monster) That's your cue. Go on! MONSTER MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm. FREDDY (trying to cover) ...Su-per du-per. Come let's mix where Rock-E-fellers walk with sticks or 'um-ber-el-las' in their mitts...... The Monster knows it's his cue: he just looks at Freddy. MONSTER MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm! 72. FREDDY For God's sake -- go on! Are you trying to make me look like a fool. Sing, you amateur! Sing!! The Monster gets a raw egg in his face. AUDIENCE Booooo! Get him off! Fake! What else can your toy do? FREDDY Fake?? You stupid idiots...you call my creation a fake??? What do you know about truth? You're the fakes! All of you! I wouldn't come to you with a hang-nail. The monster gets another tomato in his face. MONSTER MMMMMMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMMMM! FREDDY (running to him) Wait! Stop! Don't give them the satisfaction. I know it's tough, but look at how far we've come! Are you going to throw it all away now?? The Monster thinks, as the tomato drips down his face. He is touched by Freddy's reasoning, but still burning with resentment. MONSTER MMMmmmmmm. FREDDY Don't you think I know that? But what are you judging by? Bucharest??? This was always a hick town. They can't get a 'Bus and Truck' company to come in here. Are you going to let these idiots get the best of you? ...Or are you going to stand up like a man and show them that you've got more dignity in your little finger than they've got in all their beer-bloated bodies put together? The Monster considers this plea for a moment. Then gives Freddy a colossal W H A C K and jumps into the Audience. THE AUDIENCE screams and scatters for the exits. 73. PANDEMONIUM. FREDDY (CONT'D) (as he picks himself up off the stage floor) I chose the wrong song. CUT TO: EXT. STREET - NIGHT PEOPLE run in all directions. The monster comes bursting down the street, with his arms flailing. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CASTLE DINING ROOM - NIGHT Freddy sits dejectedly -- still dressed in his theatre clothes. Igor and Inga sit near him. Frau Blucher stands nearby. FREDDY I'm a failure. IGOR Come on, Froderick -- none of that. INGA Look how far we've come. IGOR You can't expect to iron out all the kinks in one night. INGA I think the doctor is a genius! Don't you, Igor? IGOR Why certainly. Don't you, Frau Blucher? FRAU BLUCHER He's a failure. Freddy gives her a cold stare. FREDDY What are you waiting around for, pickle puss? 74. FRAU BLUCHER (handling him a cable) This wire came while you were gone. Your fiancee will be arriving any moment. FREDDY Elizabeth!?! (he reads the cable) 'Can't waits any longer. Arrive in your arms at ten tonight.' Oh, God! Not tonight. INGA Why, doctor...how wonderful for you. FREDDY Wonderful? It's terrible! Terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible! Freddy storms out of the room. IGOR She sounds fascinating. CUT TO: EXT. COBBLESTONED ALLEY - NIGHT A SIX-YEAR-OLD GIRL walks innocently along the narrow, menacing alley, lit only by moonlight. Behind her, there slowly appears a growing, TWENTY-FOUR SHADOW. When the shadow is almost upon her, the Girl turns around and faces her pursuer. It is her BABY BROTHER, holing a long balloon in each hand. SIX-YEAR-OLD-GIRL (grabbing him) Mit kommen, mit kommen. Du bist immer eine schlafmutzigem Blind- schleiche. She gives him a slap on the behind and pulls him along. CUT TO: A GRANDFATHER CLOCK It is ten o'clock. GONG. 75. INT. RECEPTION HALL The front door opens and Elizabeth comes in. Frau Blucher and a COACHMAN can be SEEN in the b.g. Freddy stands in dressing gown and ascot. Inga and Igor wait politely in the rear. ELIZABETH Darling! FREDDY Darling! They embrace. ELIZABETH Surprised? FREDDY Surprised! ELIZABETH Love me? FREDDY Love you! ...Well, why don't we turn in? ELIZABETH Darling!?! FREDDY I mean, it's been a long day. I'm sure you must be as tired as I am. Oh! These are my assistants: Inga and Ayegor. Freddy turns to get some luggage from the Coachman. ELIZABETH (stepping up to Inga) How do you do? INGA Very well. So nice to meet you at last. Elizabeth steps up to Igor. IGOR Darling! ELIZABETH Hello...? 76. IGOR Surprised? ELIZABETH Well... yes. IGOR Miss me? ELIZABETH I... Freddy approaches them with Elizabeth's two suitcases: One very large, and one very small. FREDDY Ready, darling? ELIZABETH Yes. I am a bit tired, after all. FREDDY (to Igor) Give me a hand with these, will you, Ayegor? IGOR Certainly, master. Igor takes the small suitcase, and, with Inga, leads Elizabeth and Freddy up the stairs. Freddy struggles with the large suitcase. Frau Blucher follows behind. ON THE STAIRWAY ELIZABETH What a strange fellow. FREDDY Yes, he's a little bit... tilted. Harmless, though. ELIZABETH Why does he call you 'master'? Freddy stares at her. FREDDY Are you suggesting I call him master??? ELIZABETH No, of course not. I just meant... 77. FREDDY All right then! DISSOLVE TO: INT. ELEGANT RESTAURANT - NIGHT The Monster walks in cautiously. No one seems to take any particular notice of him. He walks up to the MAITRE D' and taps his back. MAITRE D' Yes, sir, name, please? MONSTER Food! MAITRE D' Do you have a reservation? MONSTER Food!! MAITRE D' I'm sorry, sir. We only seat by reservation. MONSTER Drink! MAITRE D' Oh, no sir-ee. If yo don't have a reservation you can skip to ma-loo. The Monster grabs the Maitre D' by the lapels MONSTER Foooooood! MAITRE D' Now just one moment. There's no need for roughhousing. Have you ever tried a tip? MONSTER GRRRHMMNNNJKJMMMNN! MAITRE D' Franz! Help! Lunatic! NEW ANGLE As the monster picks up the maitre D' and throws him into a crowd. 78. The Monster attacks the restaurant. LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND WAITERS scream. PANDEMONIUM. DISSOLVE TO: INT. ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Elizabeth -- in a long, satin robe -- stands over Freddy, who sits staring into a fire. FREDDY Poor Delbruck! There must be some way to reach him -- to control that body. ELIZABETH Darling, you mustn't worry so. FREDDY But there's a genius inside that body -- crying out for love and understanding and normal human relationships. I just have to find some way to re-establish his communications system. ELIZABETH But you can't do that at night. And even if you could -- it would cost a fortune. Come to bed, darling. FREDDY Oh, Delbruck, Delbruck. Was will dien tachlas von Dir? ELIZABETH You've done everything that's humanly possible, Frederick. Oh, darling, I'm so worried about you -- you need rest. FREDDY I suppose you're right. ELIZABETH Of course I am. Now come along like a good boy. He gets up. FREDDY What would I do without you? They kiss. 79. ELIZABETH Is your room just down the hall? ... in case I get frightened during the night? FREDDY Yes, but... I thought, perhaps tonight, under the circumstances, I might... stay here with you. ELIZABETH Oh, darling! Don't let's spoil everything. FREDDY I don't want to spoil anything -- I just want to top it all off. ELIZABETH Would you want me, now, like this, so soon before our wedding? ... So near we can almost touch it? Or wait a little while longer, when I can give myself without hesitation?... When I can be totally and unashamedly yours?? FREDDY That's a tough choice. ELIZABETH Is it worth taking a chance? FREDDY I suppose you're right. ELIZABETH Of course I am. Now give me a kiss and say good night like my good boy. They kiss. FREDDY Good night. ELIZABETH That's my good boy. FREDDY STEPS OUT INTO THE: INT. HALLWAY Elizabeth blows him a kiss and slowly closes her door. Freddy stands for a moment, then walks to the door next to Elizabeth's room and knocks. 80. ANGLE ON INGA She is wearing a flimsy nightgown, opens the door. INGA Why, Doctor... is anything the matter? FREDDY Just passing through the night. INGA What's wrong, Doctor? You seem... lonely. FREDDY Oh, a little. But it's not just physical loneliness. It's the pangs that come from missing someone intellectually... as I have you. INGA I've missed you intellectually, too, Doctor. He stares at her almost "see-through" nightgown. FREDDY It's terrible -- the price society demands in the name of fidelity... ultimately? INGA Not fooling around. FREDDY I know, but I mean -- not fooling around physically?... Or not fooling around intellectually? INGA I see what you mean. FREDDY There can never... ever... be anything physical between us. You know that, dear. INGA I know Frederick. He is staring at her breasts. FREDDY It wouldn't be fair to Elizabeth. INGA Of course not. 81. FREDDY For that matter, it wouldn't be fair to you, or to me. On the word "you", he touches Inga's breast to emphasize his point. On the word "me", he touches his own chest. Pause. INGA What? FREDDY I say, it wouldn't be fair to you... or to me. INGA Nor to Elizabeth. FREDDY No. Nor to Elizabeth. INGA We all have our feelings. I know that I have mine. And... I wouldn't want to hurt yours. On the word "mine", she touches her chest for emphasis. On the word "yours", she places her hand on Freddy's chest and rubs it a little. FREDDY Yes, I do have my feelings. And, of course, you have yours. He rubs her chest. INGA And Elizabeth has hers. FREDDY Yes, Elizabeth has hers. INGA But, after all, you have yours. She unbuttons a button of his pajama top so that she can touch his chest better. FREDDY Yes, I have mine. INGA And I have mine. FREDDY Yes...yes, you have yours. 82. INGA Why don't we talk inside? FREDDY (keeping one hand on her chest) Well... (he looks at his watch) ... perhaps for a few minutes. They go into Inga's room. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. BURGOMEISTER'S HOUSE - NIGHT VILLAGERS, with torches and DOGS, stand on the street, in front of the Burgomeister's steps. FIRST VILLAGER Burgomeister Krempen. SECOND VILLAGER Burgomeister Krempen! THIRD VILLAGER (pounding on the door) Burgomeister Krempen! FOURTH VILLAGER Mayor Krempen! BURGOMEISTER (opening the door) What is it? What's going on? FIRST VILLAGER The monster, sir. The Monster is loose. BURGOMEISTER Do you realize it's after eight o'clock??? SECOND VILLAGER Yes, sir, but the monster. He's escaped! THIRD VILLAGER He's running through the countryside, terrorizing the villagers. No one is safe. BURGOMEISTER What do you mean 'the' monster -- as if this happened every Sunday. You mean 'a' monster. 83. FOURTH VILLAGER No, sir, it's 'the' monster. The Frankenstein monster. BURGOMEISTER Oh, Tommy Rot! ASSORTED VILLAGERS Yes! Frankenstein! The Frankenstein monster! BURGOMEISTER Now wait a minute! Just wait a minute! They quiet down. BURGOMEISTER (CONT'D) Now see here! There'll be no more wild accusations bandied about while I'm still Burgomeister of this village. If there is mischief afoot, the way to find out is to confront the man with the charges brought against him. It's the only decent thing to do. And as long as I'm Burgomeister of your village -- a man's name is still his honor. FIRST VILLAGER But it's true, sir. Young Master Freddy -- he's come from America and read all of his grandfather's secret notes. They've started the whole business all over again, sir. BURGOMEISTER That swine! SECOND VILLAGER It's in the blood, sir. The whole family is insane. THIRD VILLAGER He's got to be put away. FOURTH VILLAGER And the monster destroyed! ASSORTED VILLAGERS Yes! The monster! Kill the monster! The monster must be destroyed! 84. BURGOMEISTER Now see here! Before we go running about, killing people, we'd better make damned sure of our facts. A riot is an ugly thing... and once you get one started -- there's little chance of stopping it short of bloodshed. "Groans" of disappointment from assorted Villagers. BURGOMEISTER (CONT'D) So the first thing we'll do, is march calmly up to the Frankenstein castle and have a nice little chat with our good doctor. Now then! Who doesn't have a torch and a dog? All right -- follow me! ASSORTED VILLAGERS Yay! Down with Frankenstein! Kill the monster! They all run off ahead of the Burgomeister. CUT TO: INT. INGA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Freddy and Inga are under the sheets. Only their faces can be SEEN. FREDDY It wouldn't be right... you know that. INGA Yes, I know. FREDDY It wouldn't be fair to her. INGA Yes, I know. FREDDY You've got to help me to remain faithful. INGA Yes, I will. FREDDY ...But an intellectual relationship, like this -- we could have as often as we wanted. (MORE) 85. FREDDY (CONT'D) Three times a day -- anything! CUT TO: EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT The angry Villagers are marching and shouting, gathering up steam on their way to the Frankenstein castle. CUT TO: INT. ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Elizabeth is just finished brushing her hair, humming quietly to herself. She stands up and blows out the candles near her mirror. She walks to some French doors that open onto a small balcony. She opens the glass doors and looks at: ANGLE ON MOON Bright and full. BACK TO SCENE She takes a breath of fresh air, then closes the doors and walks to her large double bed. She slips off her robe -- revealing her thin body in delicate nightgown. SUDDENLY SHE HEARS: "MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm." She turns towards the French doors and listens. She decides that it was nothing and gets into bed. CUT TO: EXT. THE CASTLE - NIGHT The Burgomeister and the Villagers are at the steps of the castle. the Burgomeister pounds on the front door. CUT BACK TO: ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM Elizabeth lies in bed, illuminated be the flames from her fireplace. There is the soft SOUND of CURTAINS FLAPPING. The French doors have been opened -- the silk curtains flapping from a breeze outside.

CUT BACK TO: 86. EXT. CASTLE The Burgomeister pounds louder and louder on the front door. Finally the door opens and Freddy appears in his robe. he looks at the angry mob. BURGOMEISTER Frederick Frankenstein? FREDDY You have the wrong house. BURGOMEISTER And who might you be? FREDDY Dr. Frederick Fronkonsteen. BURGOMEISTER The grandson of Victor 'Fronkonsteen'? FREDDY No! BURGOMEISTER What was your grandfather's name? FREDDY Victor Frankenstein. Pause, as the Burgomeister tries to fit the pieces together. CUT BACK TO: ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM Elizabeth has a contented smile on her face. Her eyes are closed. A LARGE SHADOW grows against the wall behind her. The shadow crosses her face and blots out her key light from the fireplace. She opens her eyes and looks ahead. Her face freezes in terror. CUT BACK TO: EXT. THE CASTLE BURGOMEISTER Forgive me for intruding so late at night, Herr Baron. (MORE) 87. BURGOMEISTER (CONT'D) But an ugly rumor has it that there are strange goings on in this castle. These good citizens are ready to rip you from limb to limb unless you can offer some rational explanation for their fears. How say you? FREDDY Ugly, vicious rumous. A BLOODCURDLING SCREAM! ASSORTED VILLAGERS What was that? Listen! Did you hear that? BURGOMEISTER They say, also, that you have recreated the horrible monster who, for so many years, has haunted and terrorized the God-fearing people of this village. What say you to that? FREDDY Poppycock! Igor comes running out from inside the castle. IGOR He's back! He's back! The monster's back! Everyone looks at Freddy. FREDDY What monster? IGOR What d'ya mean "What monster?' You remember...the one we made in the basement. EVERYONE LOOKS AT FREDDY FREDDY I think we all need a good night's sleep. Why don't we meet next week and thrash this thing out? BURGOMEISTER Now wait a minute! IGOR You don't understand, Master. The big fellow's broken in and kidnapped your fiancee. 88. FREDDY What??? IGOR He's carrying her off now through the woods. Freddy, the Burgomeister and Igor run around to the side of the castle. The Villagers follow. CUT TO: EXT. SIDE OF CASTLE The Monster can just be SEEN, far below, disappearing into the woods (SEVEN TREES AND A BACKDROP). Elizabeth is slung over his back. ASSORTED VILLAGERS There he is! That's the monster! After him! Kill him! The Burgomeister and all the Villagers run off after the Monster, leaving Freddy an Igor alone. IGOR What now, boss? A little something to eat and then join the chase? FREDDY No! The only hope now is to get him back here. If I can just find a way to relieve the pressure on his cerebellum... IGOR That sound good, boss. FREDDY ... and equalize the imbalance in his cerebrospinal fluid... IGOR I like your style, master. How do we get him here? FREDDY There's only one way. IGOR I'll bet it's a doozy. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

The Burgomeister and the Villagers are on the hunt. 89. The Burgomeister is being pulled along by a GREAT DANE. THE VILLAGERS climb little hills and rocks. OTHER DOGS are BARKING ferociously. BURGOMEISTER There he is! The Burgomeister's Great Dane is making so much noise, it's difficult to hear. 1ST VILLAGER What? BURGOMEISTER There he is!! 1ST VILLAGER What? The Burgomeister gives his leash a yank and the Great Dane finally stops howling. BURGOMEUSTER (pointing) I said -- there he is! Several Villagers look up and then start SHOOTING at a TALL VILLAGER, who is peeing on top of a distant rock. He has his back turned to the other Villagers. TALL VILLAGER (turning around in terror) Don't shoot! Don't shoot! It's ME! CUT TO: INT. CAVE - NIGHT The Monster enters the cave slightly out of breath and stands the "fainted" Elizabeth on her feet. He shakes her. MONSTER MMmmm. He shakes her again. MONSTER (CONT'D) MMmmm! Elizabeth slowly opens her eyes. 90. The Monster smiles sweetly. Elizabeth smiles sweetly in return -- forgetting for a moment where she is. Then her smile turns to growing horror. She starts to scream, but the Monster quickly covers her mouth. After a moment, the Monster tries to make a "Shhhh" sound with his finger, but as he releases her mouth to use his "Shhh" finger... her SCREAM is still going on. He covers her mouth again and shakes her. MONSTER (CONT'D) MMMmmmm! He gradually takes his hand from her mouth. She is silent; but her eyes are filled with terror. The Monster starts to unbutton his pants. ELIZABETH What...... ? The Monster holds up his hand for her to "Wait a minute." MONSTER MMMmmmm! He goes on unbuttoning his pants. ELIZABETH What in God's name are you doing? MONSTER Baack! ELIZABETH What? MONSTER (motioning for her to move back) Baack! She moves back a foot. MONSTER (CONT'D) Morrr! She moves back another foot... fascinated. We cannot see what she sees, but what ever it is...she is suddenly filled with awe. 91. ELIZABETH Oh my goodness! Nineteen if it's an inch. The Monster smiles. CUT TO: EXT. WOODS - NIGHT The Burgomeister and the Villagers make their way through the rocks and hills, alongside a stream. Row boats -- with Villagers, torches and Dogs -- travel up the stream alongside the Villagers who are on land. CUT TO: INT. CAVE - NIGHT Elizabeth and the Monster are lying on a bed of leaves. ELIZABETH Penny for your thoughts. The Monster's eyes twinkle lasciviously. ELIZABETH (CONT'D) You're incorrigible!... Aren't you? MONSTER MMMmmmm. ELIZABETH All right then... seven's always been my lucky number. They are about to kiss, when suddenly the Monster's ears perk up as he hears: MUSIC: THE EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LILLABY He doesn't know where it is coming from. ELIZABETH (CONT'D) What, dear? What is it? The Monster gives a pathetic little cry. MONSTER MMMmm! ELIZABETH Is it that music? MONSTER MMMMM! MMMMM! 92. ELIZABETH Probably just some nearby cottage. Nothing to worry about. The Monster gets up and starts out of the cave... pulled by forces he doesn't understand. ELIZABETH (CONT'D) Where are you going? They've left their F-M station on, that's all. He's gone. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROOF OF CASTLE - NIGHT Freddy stands in the night air, playing the violin -- a handkerchief under his chin. In front of him is a tall microphone on a stand, with two enormous speakers nearby, facing the woods. Igor sits on a chair, near Freddy, like a member of a band waiting for his cue. Now Igor gets up, put his trumpet to his lips, and blows just the "bridge." When he is finished, he sits back down and waits. CUT TO: EXT. WOODS - NIGHT The Monster walks passionately through the woods, fighting the branches in order to get to the music. CUT TO: EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE WOODS - NIGHT The Burgomeister and the Villagers make their way through the rocks and hills, alongside a stream. Rowboats, with Villagers, torches and Dogs, travel up the stream, alongside the Villagers who are on land. The rocks, hills and stream all look vaguely familiar. CUT TO: EXT. ROOF OF CASTLE - NIGHT The Monster can be SEEN, crawling up the side of the Castle, trying to make it onto the roof. 93. Freddy and Igor move close to the edges of the roof as Freddy continues playing. FREDDY (to the Monster) You can do it. The Monster inches closer. FREDDY (CONT'D) You can do it. The Monster inches closer. IGOR Come on, big fellow! FREDDY (to Igor) Is everything ready? IGOR Yes, master. Are you sure you want to go through with it? FREDDY It's the only way. IGOR Okay, boss! But I hope you know what you're doing. CUT TO: EXT. WOODS - NIGHT The Burgomeister stands in water up to his waist -- his clothes all wet and torn. His Great Dane is swimming next to him, BARKING LOUDLY. 1ST VILLAGER Wait a minute! maybe he went back to the castle. 2ND VILLAGER That's right! 3RD VILLAGER He's probably right. 2ND VILLAGER It was all a trick by that lunatic doctor. 94. 3RD VILLAGER Let's go back there and tear them both to pieces! 4TH VILLAGER Now see here. Let's not lese our heads. We've always listened to our Burgomeister in the past. We should have the decency to hear him now. 1ST VILLAGER Well -- what do you say, Burgomeister? BURGOMEISTER Let's go back there and tear them to pieces! ASSORTED VILLAGERS Yay! Back to the castle! Kill them both! DISSOLVE TO: INT. LABORATORY - NIGHT The Monster lies on an operating table. His eyes are closed. From out of his head come ten thin tubes, connecting to one large tube. The large tube travels up, above the Monster's head, then turns across the room for five or six feet, then down again where it connects with ten smaller tubes that are stuck INTO: FREDDY'S HEAD Freddy lies on an operating table. His eyes are closed. Inga operates two "INTAKE" - "OUTPUT" gauges. IGOR It's the waiting I can't stand. CUT TO: INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY Frau Blucher sits in a chair, bare-chested. She is flaggelating herself with a handful of thin branches. She mumbles some mysterious prayer in German -- occasionally looking out through a crack in the door to see what is happening to "her" monster and Freddy. CUT BACK TO: 95. INT. LABORATORY IGOR How do you know they're done? INGA The doctor said to allow seven minutes: no more and no less -- or else they could both become hopelessly paralyzed. CUT TO: A GIANT CLOCK ON THE WALL with a "sweep" second hand. It is FOUR MINUTES AFTER TEN. BACK TO SCENE IGOR How long is it so far? INGA Four IGOR Three minutes to go! INGA Yes. IGOR What d'ya want to do to kill time? INGA Oh, Igor -- I'm so afraid! I just hope this all ends well. Igor looks into the LENS of the CAMERA. CUT TO: EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT The Burgomeister and the Villagers are almost at the front door. CUT BACK TO: INT. LABORATORY Inga and Igor watch over the two bodies. CUT TO: THE CLOCK 96. It is FIVE MINUTES AFTER TEN. CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT The Villagers are pounding on the front door. CUT TO: INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY Frau Blucher is at the height of her self-flagellation. She is almost in ecstasy. FRAU BLUCHER Oh, yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes! CUT TO: THE CLOCK It is FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES AFTER TEN. CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT The villagers are RAMONG THE FRONT DOOR DOWN with a giant pole. CUT TO: INT. LABORATORY INGA Igor -- are you sure the monster has a good brain? Are you absolutely certain that you took the brain of Hans Delbruck that night? IGOR Absolutely! May my mother grow two heads if I'm not telling the truth. CUT TO: A TWO-HEADED OLD LADY rocking in a chair. CUT TO: 97. EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT The front door gives way. The Burgomeister and the Villagers burst into the castle. CUT TO: INT. RECEPTION HALL The Villagers scatter every way, in search of the doctor and the monster. CUT TO: THE CLOCK It is SIX MINUTES AND TWENTY SECONDS AFTER TEN. INT. LABORATORY INGA (looking up as she hears the Villagers What's that noise? IGOR Sounds like visitors. It's all right -- Frau Blucher will show them in. CUT TO: INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY Frau Blucher is dripping wet from the passion of her climax. FRAU BLUCHER Victor. Victor! I'm coming. I'm comming, Victor! CUT TO: INT. LABORATORY Villagers come pouring down the stairs and into the laboratory. FIRST VILLAGER There they are! ASSORTED VILLAGERS Kill them! Kill that doctor! Kill the monster! Tear them both to pieces! INGA (handling the dials) Igor -- what time is it? 98. IGOR Oh, must be around ten... ten-thirty. INGA Igor -- the clock! Hurry! IGOR LOOKS AT IT: THE CLOCK It is SIX MINUTES AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS AFTER TEN. BACK TO SCENE IGOR Another fifteen seconds to go. INGA Do Something! Stall them! Igor rushes up to the charging Villagers. IGOR Now see here! What is the meaning of this? BURGOMEISTER We want the doctor! IGOR What? BURGOMEISTER We want the doctor! IGOR What?? FIRST VILLAGER ... Come on, men! They sweep right over Igor. CUT TO: THE CLOCK It is SIX MINUTES AND FIFTY SECONDS AFTER TEN. BACK TO SCENE SECOND VILLAGER (seeing Freddy lying on his table) Here's that crackpot doctor. Let's get him first! 99. Several Villagers grab Freddy's body and pull the tubes out from his head. THE CLOCK ZOOM TO CLOCK. It is only SIX MINUTES AND FIFTY-THREE SECONDS AFTER TEN. ANOTHER ANGLE INGA No! Please! Inga is standing further back, near the monster, unable to take her eyes off the clock and dials. The Villagers hold Freddy up, over their shoulders, yelling and screaming. They start off with him. A GIANT VOICE (o.s.) Put that man down! Everyone quiets down and turns towards the Voice. There, on his operating table -- holding the removed tubes from his head -- sits the Monster. AN OLD WOMAN Why...it's the monster! BURGOMEISTER No, it couldn't be. THIRD VILLAGER Yes it is. It must be. MONSTER (standing on his operating table) I said: Put that man down! The frightened Villagers carry Freddy back to his table and lay him down. BURGOMEISTER And who are you, sir, that you order these people about? MONSTER I am a relative of the doctor's. I came to visit him a few weeks ago, in hopes that this distinguished member of my family might be able to help me with a problem that I've had since birth...and which has caused (MORE) 100. MONSTER (CONT'D) more sorrow in my heart than I wish on any man. ASSORTED VILLAGERS (whispering) What'd he say? Relative?? MONSTER You see, because of my great size and the somewhat unusual features of my head -- when women look at me, their first impulse is to scream; children often cry, or vomit; and men are inclined to beat me over the head. The Laboratory is silent. MONSTER (CONT'D) I lived in hopes of meeting people who would..overlook my outward appearance and respect me for whatever good qualities I had to offer. If anyone had ever shown a little kindness, I would have returned it, I think, at least one hundred times over. And for that one person's sake...I would have made piece with the whole world. Do you understand what it means -- never to see a kind or happy face? You could imagine then, perhaps, how such bitterness led me, at last, to the brink of another kind or life. I decided that if I couldn't inspire love...which was my deepest hope...I would, instead...cause fear. A quiet shudder runs through the Villagers. MONSTER (CONT'D) But all of that happened to me a lifetime ago. And I paid for my crimes...severely. It was just then that fate, or chance, brought me to our famous doctor. I found this man to be vain; I found him to be driven with ambitions of personal glory, and consumed with an unquenchable thirst for power. But even at the height of his quest -this ego-driven, brilliant and half- crazed scientist..always...always ...held an image of me as something beautiful. (MORE) 101. MONSTER (CONT'D) And then, at the moment of truth, when it would have been easy enough to run and stay out of danger...he used himself as a guinea pig, in order to give me a calmer brain... and a slightly more eloquent way of speaking. Yes! I am 'The Monster"...sometimes known as 'Him,' or occasionally, 'The Creature.' But they're one and the same. I am that tall, peculiarly attractive stranger, with the winning smile. Would you all get the hell out of here! THE VILLAGERS mumble and shuffle out of the laboratory. INGA Oh, 'It's'...you were wonderful. But I'm so worried about the doctor. Igor is listening to Freddy's heartbeat, as Inga and the Monster come to him. They all three put their ears to Freddy's chest and listen. They smile. DISSOLVE TO: LEGEND ON THE SCREEN IT READS: A FEW WEEKS LATER INT. MODERN BEDROOM - NIGHT Elizabeth is sitting at her makeup table, dressed in a nightgown, getting ready for bed. ELIZABETH Darling! I hope you didn't find Daddy's little party too boring. He did it just for you, and he meant well. Tell me you liked it. CUT TO: BATHROOM DOOR A VOICE (o.s.) MMmmm. 102. ELIZABETH'S VOICE (o.s.) I know Mummy's just a scatterbrain without a serious thought in her head, but...you lover her just a little bit, don't you? A VOICE (o.s.) MMmmm. ELIZABETH'S VOICE (o.s.) I'm ready for bed, sweetheart. Almost done?? The bathroom door opens and the Monster steps out. He is dressed in elegant silk pajamas and a handsome robe. MONSTER MMmmm. Even though his electrodes still stick out from his neck, he appears well-groomed. Elizabeth gets into bed and waits for him. ELIZABETH Did you see?...I put a special hamper in the bathroom just for your shirts. the other one is just for socks and poo-poo undies. MONSTER (as he takes off his robe) MMmmm. He gets into bead and turns out the table lamp. ELIZABETH Still happy you married me? MONSTER MMmmm. ELIZABETH Love me oodles and oodles? MONSTER MMmmm. ELIZABETH So this is what it's like to be completely happy! 103. MONSTER MMmmm. WIPE TO: INT. CASTLE BEDROOM - NIGHT Freddy is sitting in an easy chair near the fire, dressed in pajamas and reading a newspaper. (Probably the Transylvania Tribune -- International Edition). From the bathroom comes the SOUND of Inga, HUMING a pleasant tune to herself. INGA'S VOICE (o.s., from the bathroom) Did you have a nice day today? FREDDY Oh, just the usual: sore throats, a few colds. Someone who thought he was a wearwolf, and two bladder transplants. She goes on humming. INGA'S VOICE (o.s.) Did you notice the new drapes I put up in the bedroom? FREDDY (looking up) Yes!...They're very nice. INGA'S VOICE (o.s.) Oh, I'm glad. A short pause of silence, and then Inga begins humming the EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY, quietly unconsciously. Freddy's face is hidden behind the newspaper, but he is suddenly completely motionless. INGA'S VOICE (CONT'D) (o.s.) I was hoping you'd like them. She continues humming the Lullaby. Freddy lowly lowers the newspaper. He touches his fingertips to his temple. His eyes open and close, as if he were trying to focus. 104. Inga comes out of the bathroom, dressed in her nightgown, and folds back the covers of their large double bed. She continues humming. INGA All right if I turn out the lamp, sweetheart? FREDDY (answering) MMmmm. She turns out the lamp as she goes on humming. The bedroom is lit only by moonlight and the glow from the fireplace. INGA (as she is arranging the pillows) Shall I set the alarm? FREDDY MMMmmm. She goes on humming, as she pulls out the stopper on the alarm clock. Freddy rises. his arms hang away from his body, STIFFLY. He walks in fits and jerks. FREDDY (CONT'D) MMMMmmmmm! INGA Yes, sweetie...I heard you. So! I'm ready for you, meine Liebe. Freddy is standing at the edge of the bed. INGA (CONT'D) Are you ready for me? FREDDY MMMMmmmmm! INGA Ready for Fuchsmachen??? FREDDY MMMMMMmmmmmmmmm! INGA I love it when you're excited. Come then, my Apfelstrudel! Come into my arms and let me hold you. Freddy kneels onto the bed.

A long pause. 105. INGA (CONT'D) Sweetheart.....Is this really you??? FREDDY MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! CUT TO: TURRET AT THE TOP OF THE CASTLE Igor sits in the window, blowing his trumpet. ANOTHER ANGLE PULL BACK SLOWLY, until the whole castle in SEEN. FADE OUT THE END Main Page Quentin Tarantino Martin Scorsese John Woo Robert Rodriguez Voting Booth Message Board Coming Soon Movie Sounds Mailing Lists E-mail The Webmaster