The Clockmaker
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The Clockmaker Thomas Chandler Haliburton The Clockmaker Table of Contents The Clockmaker........................................................................................................................................................1 Thomas Chandler Haliburton.........................................................................................................................1 ADVERTISEMENT......................................................................................................................................2 SLICK'S LETTER.........................................................................................................................................2 THE CLOCKMAKER................................................................................................................................................3 No. I. The Trotting Horse...............................................................................................................................3 No. II. The Clock Maker................................................................................................................................5 No. III. The Silent Girls.................................................................................................................................6 No. IV. Conversations at the River Philip.....................................................................................................8 No. V. Justice Pettifog...................................................................................................................................9 No. VI. Anecdotes........................................................................................................................................10 No. VII. Go Ahead.......................................................................................................................................12 No. VIII. The Preacher that Wandered from His Text.................................................................................13 No. IX. Yankee Eating and Horse Feeding..................................................................................................15 No. X. The Road to a Woman's HeartThe Broken Heart..........................................................................17 No. XI. Cumberland Oysters Produce Melancholy Forebodings................................................................19 No. XII. The American Eagle......................................................................................................................22 No. XIII. The Clockmaker's Opinion of Halifax.........................................................................................24 No. XIV. Sayings and Doings in Cumberland.............................................................................................27 No. XV. The Dancing Master Abroad.........................................................................................................29 No. XVI. Mr. Slick's Opinion of the British................................................................................................31 No. XVII. A Yankee Handle for a Halifax Blade........................................................................................33 No. XVIII. The Grahamite and the Irish Pilot.............................................................................................36 No. XIX. The Clockmaker Quilts a Blue Nose............................................................................................38 No. XX. Sister Sall's Courtship....................................................................................................................40 No. XXI. Setting up for Governor...............................................................................................................42 No. XXII. A Cure for Conceit......................................................................................................................46 No. XXIII. The Blowin Time.......................................................................................................................48 No. XXIV. Father John O'Shaughnessy.......................................................................................................51 No. XXV. Taming a Shrew..........................................................................................................................53 No. XXVI. The Minister's Horn Mug..........................................................................................................55 No. XXVII. The White Nigger....................................................................................................................58 No. XXVIII. Fire in the Dairy......................................................................................................................60 No. XXIX. A Body without a Head.............................................................................................................62 No. XXX. A Tale of Bunker's Hill...............................................................................................................64 No. XXXI. Gulling a Blue Nose..................................................................................................................66 No. XXXII. Too many Irons in the Fire......................................................................................................69 No. XXXIII. Windsor and the Far West......................................................................................................71 i The Clockmaker Thomas Chandler Haliburton This page copyright © 2002 Blackmask Online. http://www.blackmask.com • ADVERTISEMENT. • SLICK'S LETTER. • THE CLOCKMAKER • No. I. The Trotting Horse. • No. II. The Clock Maker. • No. III. The Silent Girls. • No. IV. Conversations at the River Philip. • No. V. Justice Pettifog. • No. VI. Anecdotes. • No. VII. Go Ahead. • No. VIII. The Preacher that Wandered from His Text. • No. IX. Yankee Eating and Horse Feeding. • No. X. The Road to a Woman's HeartThe Broken Heart. • No. XI. Cumberland Oysters Produce Melancholy Forebodings. • No. XII. The American Eagle. • No. XIII. The Clockmaker's Opinion of Halifax. • No. XIV. Sayings and Doings in Cumberland. • No. XV. The Dancing Master Abroad. • No. XVI. Mr. Slick's Opinion of the British. • No. XVII. A Yankee Handle for a Halifax Blade. • No. XVIII. The Grahamite and the Irish Pilot. • No. XIX. The Clockmaker Quilts a Blue Nose. • No. XX. Sister Sall's Courtship. • No. XXI. Setting up for Governor. • No. XXII. A Cure for Conceit. • No. XXIII. The Blowin Time. • No. XXIV. Father John O'Shaughnessy. • No. XXV. Taming a Shrew. • No. XXVI. The Minister's Horn Mug. • No. XXVII. The White Nigger. • No. XXVIII. Fire in the Dairy. • No. XXIX. A Body without a Head. • No. XXX. A Tale of Bunker's Hill. • No. XXXI. Gulling a Blue Nose. • No. XXXII. Too many Irons in the Fire. • No. XXXIII. Windsor and the Far West. This etext was produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from Charles Franks and Distributed Proofers. The Clockmaker; or The Clockmaker 1 The Clockmaker The Sayings and Doings of Samuel Slick, of Slickville, Garrit aniles ex re fabellas Horace. The cheerful sage, when solemn dictates fail, Conceals the moral counsel in a tale. Halifax, N. S. 1836. ADVERTISEMENT. The following Sketches, as far as the twenty−first No. originally appeared in "THE NOVASCOTIAN" newspaper. The great popularity they acquired, induced the Editor of that paper, to apply to the Author for the remaining part of the series, and permission to publish the whole entire. This request having been acceded to, the Editor has now the pleasure of laying them before the public in their present shape. Halifax, December, 1836. SLICK'S LETTER. [After these sketches had gone through the press, and were ready for the binder, we sent Mr. Slick a copy; and shortly afterwards received from him the following letter, which characteristic communication we give entireEDITOR.] To MR. HOWE, SIR.I received your letter, and note its contents; I aint over half pleased, I tell you; I think I have been used scandalous, that's a fact. It warn't the part of a gentleman for to go and pump me arter that fashion and then go right off and blart it out in print. It was a nasty dirty mean action, and I don't thank you nor the Squire a bit for it. It will be more nor a thousand dollars out of my pocket. There's an eend to the Clock trade now, and a pretty kettle of fish I've made of it, hav'nt I? I shall never hear the last on it, and. what am I to say when I go back to the States? I'll take my oath I never said one half the stuff he has set down there; and as for that long lochrum about Mr. Everett, and the Hon. Alden Gobble, and Minister, there aint a word of truth in it from beginnin to eend. If ever I come near hand to him agin, I'll larn himbut never mind, I say nothin. Now there's one thing I don't cleverly understand. If this here book is my "Sayins and Doins," how comes it yourn or the Squire's either? If my thoughts and notions are my own, how can they be any other folks's? According to my idee you have no more right to take them, than you have to take my clocks without payin for 'em. A man that would be guilty of such an action is no gentleman, that's flat, and if you don't like it, you may lump itfor I don't valy him nor you, neither, nor are a Blue Nose that ever stept in shoe leather the matter of a pin's head. I don't know as ever I felt so ugly afore since I was raised; why didn't he put