Iowa State University Capstones, Theses and Retrospective Theses and Dissertations Dissertations 1989 Across the grain Bret A. Ross Iowa State University Follow this and additional works at: https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/rtd Part of the Fiction Commons Recommended Citation Ross, Bret A., "Across the grain" (1989). Retrospective Theses and Dissertations. 16. https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/rtd/16 This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Iowa State University Capstones, Theses and Dissertations at Iowa State University Digital Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Retrospective Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Iowa State University Digital Repository. For more information, please contact
[email protected]. ----------------- -- --- Across the grain by Bret A. Ross A Thesis Submitted to the Graduate Faculty in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of lASTER OF ARTS Department: English Major: English <Creative Writing) Approved: Iowa State University Ames, Iowa 1989 ----------------.--~--- ·- ~~~~- ii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page REVENGE OF THE FIFTY THOUSAND POUND MAN 1 FOR APPEARANCES' SAKE 24 HECKLERS 43 MISDEMEANORS 80 1 REVENGE OF THE FIFTY THOUSAND POUND MAN I sell bull sperm. I travelled the crazy international circuits out of Wisconsin where dairying is king and prize bulls give their all for one hay-filled room and three square meals a day. If bulls had brains they'd nearly be humans and would reap the benefits of their animal enthusiasms. They could have my job. Then they would make unjustifiable amounts of money moving five hundred thousand units of their own freeze-dried futures daily.