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Montana Kaimin, 1898-Present (ASUM)

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Montana Kaimin, 1898-Present (ASUM) University of Montana ScholarWorks at University of Montana Associated Students of the University of Montana Montana Kaimin, 1898-present (ASUM) 10-1-1996 Montana Kaimin: Eye Spy, October 1-8, 1996 Associated Students of the University of Montana Let us know how access to this document benefits ouy . Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.umt.edu/studentnewspaper Recommended Citation Associated Students of the University of Montana, "Montana Kaimin: Eye Spy, October 1-8, 1996" (1996). Montana Kaimin, 1898-present. 8944. https://scholarworks.umt.edu/studentnewspaper/8944 This Newspaper is brought to you for free and open access by the Associated Students of the University of Montana (ASUM) at ScholarWorks at University of Montana. It has been accepted for inclusion in Montana Kaimin, 1898-present by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks at University of Montana. For more information, please contact [email protected]. The Montana Kainun Weekly Arts and Entertainment Guide • October 1__8,1996 Toilet talk with Andy Page 3 First Wives Club Page 4 Fifteen reasons to love your pet Page 5 All-new calendar! Page 7 P a g e 4 music from ties CUypool and. Jllnda P etty P lu s a live set by TOAtsonvllle P atio 2 Eye Spy, Tuesday, October 1, 1996 Baby, you can drive my car about driving to try and figure myself to my car. issoula is 25 miles out some rational solution to Tm even going to (gasp) sell surrounded by real- the problem. my bicycle. M Evidently, they forgot where See, I’m a fanatic. I froth. I have the gleam, the disheveled It’s extremely difficult to live they’re living. There are no rational solu­ clothing. in this town if you aren’t some lean kind o f frothing fanatic. Scoff if Column by cause trouble you want, at City but it’s true. M organ Sturges Council with Brian H urlbut I have the the best of Eye Spy Editor Eye Spy Writer meager col­ them. Time lection of The Wandering Eye to start Justin Grigg middle-of- printing out A ndy Smetanka the-road tions to anything in Missoula, flyers and having meetings. Eye Spy Writer Eye Spy Designer friends to especially when you’re talking Car drivers of Missoula prove it. unite! I know you’re out there. It’s damn near impossible to about cars.) Lee Douglas Ross Jeffcoat All those who advocate safe, make any friends in this place The way people act about On-line Guru efficient fast travel with mini­ Eye Spy Writer if you don’t have some kind of cars in this town provokes in mal exercise and absolutely no cause to use as a basis for seri­ me the kind of oppositional defiant fury that makes me pedaling, come ye unto me. Dave Steele ous bonding. I am the epicenter of the Photography Intern Tragically, I don’t have a want to trade in my catalytic New Wave. Venturing boldly cause. Eye am Nothing. converter-equipped fuel effi­ into the unknown, braving the But I want more friends. I cient foreign vehicle for one of elements (from inside my car), eye spy is a publication of the Montana Kaimin, also want to irritate all the peo­ those rusted-out diesel jobbies flying in the face o f eco-fanati- ple trying to solve Missoula’s that rivals Stone Container in and is distributed every Tuesday, except holidays cism as only the truly wingnut transportation problems by terms of sheer noxious-fume when we decide to put it out any time we want to. ran do. Call me. We’ll bond. banning all vehicular travel, output. We’ll make change in this crazy We’U gladly accept any letters, suggestions or com­ though, so I have decided to Barring that, though, Fve place. ments, although we reserve the right to do nothing knock off both objectives by decided to just plain drive They can’t hurt us if we with them. For further information contact us at becoming a fanatic about my everywhere. I mean every­ travel in packs. car. where. Room 206, School of Journalism, University of (The Wandering Eye would (For the not-so-up-to-date, Tm going to drive so much I Montana, Missoula, MT 59812. (406)243-4310. like to inform the general pub­ the general consensus in have to fill my tank every half Reach us on the internet at brianhtgselway.umt.edu, lic that the letters TGV, as in Missoula is that we have a an hour. I’m going to drive so the supersonic French train, or check out our ultra-cool web page Traffic Problem that is soon much I start to get sores on my stand for three words that http://www.umt.edu/Kaimin. going to be out of hand. So all ass from sitting in my seat. Fm translate into “Really Fast the assorted car-haters and going to drive so m uch... hell, gadflies got together with all Fm going to flat-out chain Train.” Vive la France!) the folks who don’t have issues RUBES ™ By Leigh Rubin T h e D e e p Cedi by: Chad Strawderman T h e D e e p E n d by: Chad Strawderman Access us on the Net: Frequent on-the-job injuries continue http://www.umt.edu/kaimin/eyespy.html to plague the banana wine industry. eye spy online Eye Spy, Tuesday, October 1, 1996 3 Subliminal messages a sublime farce frat’s a rrpHif.credit tnto thetho 1 1 1 _ eye spy mailbag how lead to some sort o f psy American justice system chological trauma in small chil­ that no aging British Gentleman's I dren who think they are seeing rockers have ever been convict­ water closet digest the real thing. It gets pretty ed in the occasional deaths by hot in those outfits, and the suicide of suburban American by Andy Smetanka employees tend to pass out wastoids who pop their clogs from time to time and even BECAUSE ROCK AND ROLL vomit in their own meshy TOLD THEM TO. Remember breath-holes under extreme the Judas Priest trial, in which circumstances. For the sake of sagging castrate Rob Halford the characters who don’t make was alleged to have subliminal- it to a discreet back alley in The opinionated shouldn’t ly commanded two Nevada time, there are patrollers hired teens to shoot themselves? hide behind masks of to retrieve fallen Mickeys and Satanic lyrics, subliminal mes­ Minnies and bring them back anonymity sages, backwards A throneside almanac of all things arcane, mundane, and just for resuscitation. Anna goes on masking...can’t anyone take a Ah ... Bagels! plain inane. to say that once, during a JOKE anymore? In lawsuit Who is the wandering eye anyway? Is it an —--------------------- parade in which Chip and Dale after lawsuit, nobody has yet “insidious capitalist takeover” that’s threatened to were supposed to wave from a managed to conclusively prove take over the Kaimin? It was with mixed emotions motorized float, Disney officials that I read the latest installment (Sept. 17) of the that hidden messages cause anything more were terrified that Chip would pass out in the anonymous “The Wandering Eye.” grievous than the occasional urge to scratch. heat and plummet to his death. To rectify the sit­ “Why is it anonymous?” I asked one of the con­ That’s not to say they don’t exist, though. Pink uation, builders constructed wooden supports tributors and she informed me that she was not at Floyd, the B-52’s and the Artist Formerly Known inside the costume, anchoring Chip to the float, liberty to answer that question. That’s a new one As Prince have all included innocuous backwards so that even if he was out cold he’s at least on me. I think that if a publication has a policy of messages on their recordings, with no reported appear to be standing, Christlike, nailed to the ill effects (other than the nausea attendant to lis­ float. making opinion pieces anonymous then at least it tening to the B-52’s). Geek-pop casualties They has the responsibility to tell us why. veryone’s heard of Nostradamus. You But I digress from the original intent of this Might Be Giants utilized the Twin Peaks “dwarf- know, that addle-pated French swiz speech” technique on one o f their records. After letter. I am disappointed that the writer(s) chose E i artist whose “prophesies” get trundled to slam one of this small community’s successful learning to mimic their own speech played back­ out every 10 years or so to “predict” events that businesses by calling their expansion activities a wards, they then recorded the imitations and have already happened? This snail-eating bunco “capitalist takeover.” Huh? One of the biggest reversed them on one of the vocal tracks, result­ artist is getting more and more attention these pluses about the expansion is the fact that it cre­ ing in an eerie approximation o f human speech. days as the world wallows in millenialist hyste- a te s jobs for people||mostly college people. Too hip O f course, there are persistent rumors that ria, and it just goes to show you that there is a for you? Food for Thought, Second Thought and - : “Stairway to Heaven” will summon the Dark One way to turn a profit from anything, even the irra­ Headquarters are successful because they cater to if played backwards and suchlike, and this old tional human fear of round numbers.
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