Spousal Abuse Among Immigrants from Ethiopia in Israel

LEA KACEN Ben-Gurion University of the Negev

Spousal Abuse Among Immigrants From Ethiopia in Israel

This ethnographic study obtains first-hand infor- ‘‘domestic violence’’ in his native Amharic. My mation on spousal abuse from Ethiopian immi- informer replied that there is no such term in their grants in Israel. Data include 23 interviews with language. ‘‘Then how do you describe situations male and female immigrants of various ages and in which a husband beats or insult his wife’’? I 10 professionals who worked with this commu- asked. He answered, ‘‘There is no reason to speak nity as well as observations and documents. The about it.’’ The conversation aroused my curiosity, findings, verified by participants, show that dur- as language is a means used by cultural groups to ing cultural transition, the immigrants’ code of transmit knowledge and shape social norms honor, traditional conflict-solving institutions, (Green, 1995). I asked myself whether there and family role distribution disintegrate. This was no need for the concept because violence situation, exacerbated by economic distress, toward women was nonexistent in Ethiopia, or proved conducive to women’s abuse. Lack of perhaps because there is another term with a sim- cultural sensitivity displayed by social services ilar meaning, or was it that the phenomenon is an actually encouraged women to behave abusively accepted, self-evident norm that need not be dis- toward their husbands and destroy their fami- cussed judgmentally as it is in Western cultures. lies. Discussion focuses on communication fail- Something else troubled me as well. If there is ures in spousal-abuse discourse between no term for domestic violence in Amharic, how immigrants from Ethiopia and absorbing soci- do immigrants from Ethiopia understand this ety, originating in differences in values, behav- concept as used in Israeli society to describe neg- ior, social representations, and insensitive ative situations of violence between husbands culture theories. and wives? What is the term’s meaning to them? I decided to find out what the immigrants themselves have to say about these issues, interview- Over the past few years (1999 – 2004), I was ing men and women of various ages who fulfill involved in evaluating an experimental program a variety of functions in their community. to prevent spousal abuse among immigrants from Two additional factors motivated examination Ethiopia in Israel (Kacen & Keidar, 2006). In of the topic: the high rates of violence toward a conversation with an educated man from this women among immigrants from Ethiopia in community who participated in the program, I Israel and the failure of social services to prevent asked how to say ‘‘violence toward women’’ or and treat the problem, particularly within this population group.

The Spitzer Department of Social Work, Ben-Gurion Spousal-Abuse Rates Among Immigrants University of the Negev, P.O. Box, 653, Beer-Sheva From Ethiopia 84105, Israel ([email protected]). Key Words: community, couple violence, culture, ethnogra- Twenty-five percent of all cases of murder of phy, family roles, immigration from Ethiopia. women by their spouses in Israel each year 1276 Journal of Marriage and Family 68 (December 2006): 1276–1290 Spouse Abuse Among Israeli Ethiopian Immigrants 1277 involve immigrants from Ethiopia, a rate consid- changed, the application rate declined from 7% erably higher than their proportion in the general in 1995 to 3% in 2000. In this article, I will at- population (1.5%). Although murder of women tempt to reveal the nature of spousal-abuse dis- by their husbands is an extreme indicator, it does course between immigrants from Ethiopia and reflect a problem that requires special investiga- social welfare agencies, as well as to understand tion. According to an Israel police report, why communication failures occur. This discourse 13,592 spousal-abuse complaints were registered analysis will contribute to our understanding of in 2004, of which 1,956 were filed by new immi- similar cases in which communities immigrate grants of various origins, including 226 immi- from traditional societies to modern ones. grants from Ethiopia (1.67% of all files and 11.6% of all those involving immigrants). This Domestic Violence: A Theoretical Review percentage, too, is higher than the share of Ethio- pian immigrants in Israel’s population (http:// The theories that dictate social service responses www.ynet.co.il/Ext/comp/articlesLayout). The to spousal abuse in Israel are primarily Western figures do not reflect the full extent of violence social theories that consider nuclear families toward women, as only 10% of all battered and the individuals comprising them to be the women (Fishman, Eisikovits, Mesch, & Gusinsky, focus of intervention. Key examples of such theo- 2001) – especially immigrants from countries ries are summarized below. with traditional societies (Bui, 2003) – inform Gelles (1997) reviews a variety of theoretical the police of their situation. Despite this high attempts to explain spousal violence, recalling rate, spousal abuse among immigrants from the psychiatric model, stress and coping theory, Ethiopia has only been on the Israeli agenda for social learning theory, resource theory, the eco- 5 years, and the taboo imposed on the subject logical approach, sociobiological theory,exchange was only lifted about 2 years ago when members theory, feminist theory, social psychology, and of the community began speaking openly about culture. He claims that each of these theories the phenomenon, seeking to reduce its incidence. sheds light on the phenomenon from a different This study reveals, for the first time, the immi- angle, and no single theory explains it completely. grants’ own point of view regarding problems According to these theories, violent spousal re- of spousal abuse. lations may be classified into three intercon- nected types of relationships, separated below for sake of clarity only: control, emotional ambiv- Social Service Failure to Prevent and Treat alence, and dependence. Violence Toward Women Among Immigrants From Ethiopia Control. Most cases of spousal abuse are charac- The mass immigration of the Jews of Ethiopia terized by men’s aggressive control of women, (known as Beta Israel) to Israel took place dur- the increasing literature on women’s abuse of ing 1984 in three major airlifts: Operations men notwithstanding (Crowell & Burgess, Moses, Sheba, and Solomon. Others arrived 1996). Aggressive control may be accompanied between these campaigns, and the influx contin- by violence of a physical (Straus, 1990), psycho- ues to this day. There are over 100,000 Jews of logical (McGee & Wolfe, 1991), or sexual nature Ethiopian origin in Israel (Shabtay & Kacen, (Riessman, 1994) or any combination thereof 2005; Swirsky & Swirsky, 2002). Their immi- (see Follingstad, Rutledge, Berg, Hause, & gration to the ‘‘Jerusalem’’ for which they had Polek, 1990; Walker, 1979). Domestic violence, yearned constituted religious and spiritual ful- as described in this article, conforms with the fillment that did not consider the material above description. changes entailed in the transition to a modern society (Freund, 2001). For the women, ‘‘arrival Emotional ambivalence. Spousal relations in Jerusalem’’ symbolized a kind of new free- between partners in a violent relationship are full dom and equality (Shabtay & Kacen, 2005). of conflicting emotions, such as love-hate or Indeed, during the first years after their immi- attraction-repulsion (Denzin, 1984; Lempert, gration, many of the women applied to social 1997). Such ambivalence engenders emotional services for assistance, claiming they were vic- confusion and unstable relations. One reflection tims of spousal abuse. Although all signs indi- of emotional ambivalence is the cycle of vio- cated that violence toward women had not lence, described by Walker (1979) as a process 1278 Journal of Marriage and Family in which anger builds up within the violent man anything that disrupts this meaning. According as a result of various events and eventually explo- to Ferraro, battering men are more threatened des as acute battering of his spouse, who serves as by harm to the self than by any other type of harm, victim. Once the anger is discharged, there are a situation that Lempert (1997) calls the principal feelings of regret and requests for forgiveness, reason for violent outbursts. often accompanied by a ‘‘honeymoon’’ and ex- In summary, these theories appear to focus on pressions of love, until the cycle begins again. spousal dynamics, ignoring environmental and The longer the violent relations continue, the cultural factors. At their foundation is the as- shorter the honeymoon periods and the more fre- sumption that spousal relations epitomize nuclear quent the violent outbursts. As a result, the families in modern society. Consequently, spou- women may develop learned helplessness syn- sal violence is a problem that is spousal in nature drome (Walker, 1988), posttraumatic reactions and can be solved by rehabilitating or breaking up (Star, 1980), or survival responses (Dutton, the couple and primarily by providing individual 1996). Men, in turn, develop feelings of isolation therapy for each partner. As the social services and separation anxiety (Holtzworth-Munroe & designed to treat spousal violence in Israel are Hutchinson, 1993). The daily encounter between based on these assumptions and as these services the battered woman’s learned helplessness and fail to provide appropriate solutions for the Ethi- the man’s separation anxiety creates communica- opian immigrant community, even 25 years after tion problems accompanied by negative feelings their arrival in Israel, the time has come for (Denzin, 1986). In such situations, any disagree- reevaluation of these theories in terms of their ment is liable to deteriorate rapidly into a quarrel ability to understand spousal violence among and violence. communities in transition from a traditional soci- Another kind of emotional ambivalence relates ety to a modern one, such as the Ethiopian immi- to feelings of guilt among both partners. Violent grant community in Israel. men attempt to conceal their failure to control their wives and their behavior, and battered Spousal Violence Within Communities in women feel guilty, first for not satisfying their Transition From Traditional husbands and later for not leaving them (Balcom, to Modern Society 1991). Cycles of guilt lead to concealing violence from outsiders. The resulting isolation renders re- A review of the literature relating specifically to lations even more tense. Feelings of guilt, spousal violence among people who immigrated together with emotional ambivalence, create from traditional to modern societies indicates a maelstrom of emotions that powerfully under- a correlation between the undermining of their mines spousal relations without the partners hav- old social order and the rise in incidence of vio- ing any control over it. lence within their communities. This correlation gains in intensity when the original culture was Dependence. Married couples who have a violent fundamentally patriarchal (Bui & Morash, relationship develop mutual economic, social, 1999; Rianon & Shelton, 2003). Researchers and psychological dependence (Dutton, 1996). point out cultural differences in defining vio- Economic dependence results when one partner lence: Modern societies refer to spousal violence is not employed or when the violent partner con- as domestic violence, although in some tradi- trols all families’ resources and withholds them tional societies, such as that of Ethiopian from the other. Social dependence originates in Jews, everyday affairs were largely conducted the couple’s feelings of guilt and often in the vio- in huts open to the community or in the open lent husband’s, prohibiting his wife from social- space between them. Life within the framework izing with others, reflecting his emotional of extended families also included violence dependence on her and his jealousy of any exter- perpetrated by a mother-in-law or uncle toward nal social ties she forms (Barnett, Martinez, & a daughter-in-law or niece (Taylor, Cheers, Bluestein, 1995). Weetra, & Gentle, 2004). Another difference is Psychological dependence is essentially the inherent in the definition of social identity: In tra- violent man’s dependence on his wife for his ditional societies, the behavior of a couple is eval- self-identity. Ferraro (1988) defines the self as uated according to its consistency with the the meaning individuals’ accord to their exis- collective identity (Erchak, 1984). Battered tence. Accordingly, a threat to the self would be women who consider applying for institutional Spouse Abuse Among Israeli Ethiopian Immigrants 1279 assistance in the Western countries to which they Their dream of spiritual fulfillment was shattered. immigrated have to evaluate the implications of The Kessim (clergymen, singular: Kes) were not their appeal regarding their status within their cul- recognized by the Israeli establishment, and tural community and the effects on the commu- their status was weakened. They found them- nity as a whole. Consequently, in many cases, selves unlike others because of their culture, they will choose to forgo applying for help. Other dress, and dark skin color. The community’s tra- factors affect such reluctance as well, including ditional institutions declined in status and were language problems, suspicions, and responses no longer effective in solving problems. For that do not suit expectations (Bui, 2003). example, the Shmagaleh (elders), who were Often, immigrants from traditional societies, involved in solving families’ conflicts in Ethio- including immigrants from Ethiopia in Israel, pia, lost their standing, especially among the become impoverished after immigrating to mod- younger generation, who preferred the Israeli ern countries because they lack vocational training establishment to the traditional one. Balance and language proficiency. Most Israeli families was disrupted in both nuclear and extended fam- of Ethiopian origin are in difficult economic ilies: Children, who learned the language and straits: 50% of families have no breadwinner, norms of the surrounding society quickly, be- 65% of adults aged 45 and older are unemployed, came the ‘‘foreign ministers’’ and thereby were and more than 80% of Ethiopian immigrant empowered and stopped respecting their parents. women do not work for pay (Swirsky & Joseph, Young men and women began acquiring higher 2005; Swirsky & Swirsky, 2002). Furthermore, education and leaving home while still unmar- the positive correlation between poverty and ried. They married at a later age and by free spousal abuse (Fishman et al., 2001) also ac- choice (Shabtay & Kacen, 2005). In this study, counts for the rise in incidence of violence in this I attempt to ascertain whether the increase in community. spousal violence reflects these transitions.

Ethiopian Immigrants in Israel METHOD in Cultural Transition The ethnographic tradition in qualitative research, In Ethiopia, the Jews lived in small communities as selected for this study, enables perception of in villages or cities, where they conducted a tradi- culture through the eyes of study participants, tional lifestyle and were led by spiritual leaders revealing the cultural code that dictates their who derived their power from the Jewish faith behavior (Spradley & McCurdy, 1972). The (Abbink, 1984). Each village or community num- database includes interviews, observations, bered 8 – 10 families. Families had a patriarchal and documents (published and unpublished). structure and were part of an intergenerational families’ community whose members were responsible for one another. Division of functions Interviews within families was very clear: The man has Semistructured interviews were conducted in authority and represents his family before com- which participants were asked to talk about life munity members and leaders. As the most re- in Ethiopia and in Israel, their spousal relations, spected family member, he is responsible for and methods of resolving conflicts. When the in- the financial situation of the family, assigning terviewees agreed, the interviews were recorded tasks, education, tradition, religion, and spiritual- and transcribed verbatim, or minutes were taken ity. The woman, who married at a very young as precisely as possible by a research assistant age, is considered her husband’s property. She who also served as an observer. Most interviews works at difficult physical chores and is responsi- were conducted in Hebrew and a few in Amharic, ble for cooking and raising children. Children are using an interpreter. the most inferior in a family’s hierarchy and were permitted to speak only with permission from Observations their parents (Freund, 2001). On their immigration to Israel, efforts were We observed about 25 sessions of a course for made to preserve the communities’ intact, but volunteers of Ethiopian origin and a similar num- their exposure to a Western lifestyle in Israel led ber of meetings at a course for community elders to many changes in their traditional way of life. (Shmagaleh) on the subject of spousal violence, 1280 Journal of Marriage and Family both offered as part of the prevention program. Data analyses were accomplished in the original The volunteers’ course sessions were summed language of most of the data (Hebrew), and only up in minutes, whereas those of the elders were the excerpts appearing in this paper were trans- videotaped with the consent of participants. lated into English by a professional translator. Finally, we collected documents, including published and unpublished papers, about the Trustworthiness community and its history: in Ethiopia, en route to Israel, and settled in Israel. These documents Two procedures were conducted to reinforce were analyzed as data and therefore appear as the trustworthiness of this study (Lincoln & references in the Findings section of this article. Guba, 1985): triangulation of data retrieved from interviews, observations, and documents, and participant validation achieved by presenting partic- Research Population ipants individually and in focus groups with the Twenty-three participants from the Ethiopian research conclusions. When they had thoughts immigrant community were interviewed, most on issues raised, we discussed them and together of whom had participated in courses in the exper- decided how to present them in a manner that imental domestic violence–prevention program, reflects reality accurately while remaining accept- as well as four who were proposed by professio- able to their communities. I believe this verifica- nals. The rationale for their selection was as fol- tion of conclusions is of key significance because lows: When we conducted the interviews, open I am an outsider and bear a grave responsibility discourse on domestic violence was taboo in this in publishing material the community considers community, and only those who participated in so sensitive. Participant review reinforces the the program were ready to share their knowledge study’s trustworthiness and is especially important and experiences. Note that the chief contribution in intercultural research (Lincoln & Guba, 1985). of the prevention program was the breaking of Before detailing the findings, it is important to this taboo. Once discourse became more open, note that the study does not shed light on personal we were able to collect data of even greater characteristics of the partners involved in spou- relevance. sal-abuse incidents, as there are still barriers to The sample consisted of six young women and exposure of such intimate details among immi- seven young men (most of them single); three grants from Ethiopia. Even the battered women older married women, two of whom were bat- avoided speaking about themselves. These bar- tered women who separated from their husbands riers are reflected in the quotations cited below, and are now single mothers; three older married in which it is evident that men prefer speaking men, one of whom was a batterer; and three about women and women about men, or in certain young unmarried and one married social workers, instances, about their mothers. all from the Ethiopian immigrant Beta Israel communities. It was impossible to gain cooperation from married couples for the reasons mentioned FINDINGS above. These communities immigrated with their Data analysis reveals three main themes that con- leaders and preserve the traditional community tribute to an understanding of the differences structure (Levin-Rozalis, 2000). We also inter- between the Ethiopian immigrant community viewed 10 professionals with cultural knowledge and the surrounding Israeli society concerning about immigrants from Ethiopia but who were spousal violence: the immigrants’ outlook on life, not parts of the community: three social workers spousal relations before immigration to Israel, who determine policy at the nationwide level and and spousal relations after immigration to Israel. seven involved in direct community and individual intervention who had extensive experience in Immigrants’ Outlook on Life working with the community. Three key values define the traditional way of life among the immigrants from Ethiopia: holism, Data Analysis collectivism, and a hierarchic code of honor. An The extensive data gathered were analyzed the- understanding of these values, as described in matically, with attention to content and structure documents and publications and reflected in data (Lieblich, Tuval-Mashiach, & Zilber, 1998). collected from the interviews, is essential for Spouse Abuse Among Israeli Ethiopian Immigrants 1281 comprehension of the context of the two other the authority ladder, followed by his wife, with themes. the children at the bottom. Functionaries in the public establishment and government officials Holistic view of life. The holistic conception were perceived as high on the hierarchy accord- maintains that the values that determine the ing to this code. Behavior that deviated from course of everyday life cannot be separated and the code entailed social sanctions (see Excerpt selected among by the individual (De-Jasay, 2.1, below). 1992). This view prevails among immigrants from Ethiopia (Kacen, Soffer, & Keidar, 2005). Spousal Relations Before Immigration to Israel For example, domestic violence, work, education of children, livelihood, and religion are interwo- In Ethiopia, girls married at a very young age (9 – ven so closely that one loose thread may cause 12) and moved in with their husbands’ parents. A the entire fabric to unravel. Consequently, when wife and children were considered the man’s I asked participants to talk about domestic vio- property. It was the man who determined what lence, I often found myself involved in a discus- they were to do and when, as indicated in the sion about education, religion, livelihood, and so following statement by one of the older male on. Much patience and attention were required interviewees: until the interviewees ultimately reached the topic of violence. Only after analyzing the data, Excerpt 2.1: What was accepted? A man is did I understood that all these issues are part of a man. His word is law. The man dictates and the woman accepts. He will honor her to the same the discourse on violence. extent, but the last word is the man’s. The man earns a living and the woman is at home . There Collectivism. In Ethiopia, ‘‘their point of depar- is honor between father and child. One may ture was that every individual is an inseparable notice it even today, although not to the same . extent. A child lowers his head and will not dare part of families and social unit One’s self- look [his father] in the eye. Only if the father asks image is derived from powerful identification something does the child open dialogue and with families’ good name and honor and respect speak to him. for elders’’ (Shabtay, 1999, p. 53). Individual identity is assessed according to the collective identity Deviation from expected behavior by a child or components it embodies. As collective identity is wife was perceived as a blow to the father’s essentially monolithic, it emphasizes common honor. In spousal relations, rules of preserving features and condemns deviation (Bar-On, 2005). the hierarchy of honor were clear: A woman must Consequently, exposure of one’s personal prob- not say ‘‘no’’ to her husband; obedience to one’s lems to the public was unacceptable (Ben-Ezer, husband, whose authority is higher than her own, 2002). The Shmagaleh (elders) told us that com- was absolute. At most, she could refuse by re- munity welfare and maintenance of the prevailing maining silent (Ben-Ezer, 1989). Even when social order were the primary factors taken into she did not agree with the man’s decisions, she account by community institutions in solving was not to suggest alternatives or express nega- families’ conflicts, whereas personal well-being tive feelings about them such as anger, jealousy, was deemed less significant (see also Excerpt hostility, or a desire for revenge. These conditions 2.2, below). precluded open dialogue between partners. Inter- viewees told us that the woman was expected to Code of honor. One key norm at the focus of the welcome her husband on his return home by traditional social order among immigrants from going out to meet him, kissing his knee and wash- Ethiopia is the granting of respect according to ing his feet, having his meal ready, and lowering a hierarchy of authority. This code dictates and her eyes in submission. Modest, shy women were defines the community’s normative behavior to considered good women. The husband, as the this day (Ben-Ezer, 1989). ‘‘There are rather clear authoritative figure, was expected to keep his criteria that determine the hierarchy, such as age promises to his wife, accord her all due attention, (elders), families’ authority (father, mother, or and avoid offending or humiliating her. big brother), ethnic function (Kessim, clergy- The combination of a collectivist outlook and men, or Shmagaleh, elders)’’ (Ben-Ezer, 1989, code of honor practiced in Ethiopia shaped spou- p. 20). In the patriarchal family structure that sal relations with an asymmetric division of obtained in Ethiopia, the father was at the top of power between man and woman. The woman 1282 Journal of Marriage and Family was obligated to preserve the honor of her hus- 3. Seeking the help of Kessim: ‘‘The Kessim band, family, and community. Unable to speak mediated all quarrels within families and her mind in her relationship with her husband, among neighbors, as well as issues concern- she ‘‘kept it all inside the belly,’’ as in this state- ing the community’s religious and social life. ment by a young man with a key function in the They wielded extensive authority over reli- prevention program: gious and traditional affairs, determined dates of holidays and new months, conducted mar- Excerpt 2.2: Sometimes people can die of shame riage, divorce and burial [ceremonies] and . She may be beaten incessantly but she will not imposed sanctions on those who violated the say so because of family values, because of community’s religious and social principles’’ honor. She will even sacrifice herself, to maintain the family unit . In Ethiopia, there’s a very, (Shabtay, 1999, p. 57, see also Excerpt 2.5). very vast belly. The wisdom of Ethiopian Jewry 4. Appeal to Shmagaleh: ‘‘The Shmagaleh, the is inside the belly. Everything is kept inside the wise men of the community, fulfilled a vari- belly. Even if I have reservations about professio- ety of functions, primarily in the sphere of nals, our culture educates us towards emotional restraint and not at all towards candor. In Israel human relations – marital issues, friction in as well, the women suffer both mentally and the extended families, capital offenses and physically but will not say so. financial disputes’’ (Shabtay, 1999, p. 57). Elders informed us that there are several Shame and ‘‘keeping it inside’’ are intended to stages of arbitration in handling cases of preserve families’ values and honor, two key wife beating (Ben-David, 1999): The parties values in the traditional culture of the Jews of involved or those who referred them would Ethiopia (Ben-Ezer, 1989). According to the select an elder acceptable to both sides, as interviewee, many women continue this practice well as an external party to guarantee pro- in Israel as well, despite their severe suffering. ceedings and ensure that agreements are car- Notwithstanding expectations of restraint among ried out. During arbitration, the parties women, traditional Ethiopian Jewish society would undertake to stop quarreling and developed social systems that offered them pro- accept the elder’s decision. After hearing all tection and places of refuge in situations of arguments, the elder would offer compro- extreme distress. Data analysis reveals that social mise suggestions. If any were accepted, an systems included escape to the kitchen, flight to agreement ceremony would be held. Agree- one’s family of origin, and appeal to Kessim ments could be appealed within a designated and Shmagaleh: time period, but violation thereof would entail a predetermined penalty. If the recon- 1. Escape to the kitchen: Ethiopian men never ciliation did not go well, the elder would rec- entered the kitchen because they believed it ommend dissolution of the partnership and was beneath their dignity to do so. Conse- divorce (see also Excerpt 3.4, below). quently, the home kitchen served as a kind of protected space for women. An elderly single The overall feeling derived from interviews mother said, ‘‘I ran into the kitchen and then with immigrants revealed that life in Ethiopia everything stopped .’’ (Excerpt 2.3). had a well-defined social order with highly effec- 2. Escape to the family of origin: In cases of tive mechanisms for solving problems such as excessive violence, the woman was entitled spousal violence, as expressed in these comments to return to her family, where she usually by one of the older men, who immigrated to Israel was offered shelter and support. Handling of few years before the others: the problem was discreet and kept within the family to whatever extent possible. A Excerpt 2.5: There, in the Ethiopian community, woman who had no family could flee to the everything was very well defined, very clear. The father’s function was well-defined, the mother’s patron assigned to her at the time of her mar- function was well-defined, the child’s function riage. As a young woman described, ‘‘My was well-defined, everything was well-defined. If mother took us and we walked for a few something extraordinary happened, it was reason- days to her parents for shelter. Only my big able to assume that they would institute some kind of somewhat unacceptable measures to halt brother stayed at home. After her father normative deviance among women, but these did talked with the Kes and the Shmagaleh, we not violate the cultural norms of the Ethiopian returned .’’ (Excerpt 2.4). community. There, all the authority is vested in Spouse Abuse Among Israeli Ethiopian Immigrants 1283

the Kessim, who are the unchallengeable arbiters God, there are many concepts that one may use. at all religious and social levels. So this entire Conflict, in the final analysis, is violence, even if issue of violence is not out of proportion. If there we just call it a ‘‘dispute’’ or ‘‘disagreement.’’ In were highly extraordinary cases, they knew how Ethiopian [sic], ‘‘violence’’ means being extreme to take care of them. towards others, aggressive, ‘‘a bad man.’’ . I use terms such as ‘‘conflict,’’ ‘‘disagreement,’’ . A more intense reading of the above quotation re- ‘‘intercultural errors,’’ ‘‘transition’’ veals that the speaker emphasizes that the importance of community mechanisms, especially There is a tendency to refine and paraphrase direct those that restore order among women who com- reference to domestic violence and to use con- plain, is ‘‘to halt normative deviance among cepts such as ‘‘argument,’’ ‘‘misunderstanding,’’ women .’’ He accuses such women of upsetting and so on. Such semantic refinement defines the the social order. Another older male interviewee phenomenon in a manner enabling discreet han- was even more outspoken in blaming the battered dling within families and communities without woman for her own distress: imposing a near-permanent stigma on the parties involved. Excerpt 2.6: If a woman was slapped or did something bad and was beaten, she might even have to be ostracized. If it got that far, she had to Spousal Relations After Immigration to Israel have done something extraordinary, meaning it was all right for her husband to slap her because When Ethiopian Jews immigrated to Israel, their she deviated from all accepted norms . Whether extended traditional family structure almost the case was extraordinary or not, there was entirely disintegrated. Some families’ members authority! . Violence in Ethiopia was not the remained in Ethiopia or did not survive the long same as in Israel. It was not defined as a phenom- trek from Sudan to Israel (Abbink, 1984; Ben- enon. Not at all. But I would be lying if I said there were no extraordinary cases. There were Ezer, 1992). In Israel, housing assignment some- extraordinary cases of blows, beatings, divorce. times separated extended families. Each nuclear family received separate accommodations that Perception of women as guilty of causing men to were too small to house extended family mem- strike them originates in an outlook declaring that bers. The extended families’ economic units maintenance of families’ hierarchy was essential broke up as well, and nuclear families had to find to preservation of the overall traditional social independent sources of livelihood. Israeli social structure. As such, application of ‘‘instructive institutions, which work on the basis of Western force’’ to uphold this hierarchy is deemed legiti- economic and social culture, accelerated disinte- mate and accorded holistic educational signifi- gration of the traditional community economic cance. Men speak of the phenomenon in the structure. For example, National Insurance Insti- present tense as well as the past, probably hinting tute child allowances were remitted to mothers that this conception has not disappeared even rather than to fathers who were traditionally after 20 – 30 years of life in Israel. responsible for family’s financial management, Another reflection of the normative character unemployment benefits were paid to individuals of violence toward women in Ethiopia is the rather than families, and so on. The resulting absence of a special Amharic term to describe changes gave rise to forces that intensified spou- violent relationships between spouses, hinting sal abuse, including reversal of family roles, that there was no need for such a concept because undermining of the traditional establishment, use of instructive force was not considered and poor handling by Israeli social institutions. socially deviant. When such force is applied excessively, it is addressed through allusion Role reversal within the families. Women and indirect remarks. Even when speaking became the principal breadwinners in many fam- Hebrew, that does use the term ‘‘violence,’’ Ethi- ilies of Ethiopian immigrants in Israel. They opian immigrants tend to avoid such direct refer- learned Hebrew and became the foreign ministers ence. One social worker of Ethiopian origin of their families (Soffer & Kacen, 1993). At the indicated as follows: same time, they demanded partnership in decision making and equality in spousal relations. Excerpt 2.7: I . avoid saying ‘‘violence preven- For example, one interviewee said that many tion’’ or ‘‘violence’’ to immigrants from Ethiopia. women started to refuse their husbands’ demands I say ‘‘misunderstanding,’’ ‘‘conflict.’’ Thank for sexual relations whenever they liked, insisting 1284 Journal of Marriage and Family that their feelings be taken into account as well. ity and modernization. Men now have to partici- This was unheard of in Ethiopia. pate in household chores, including kitchen The situation proved most confusing for the work, to gain esteem in the surrounding society. men. Most had difficulty in learning Hebrew, Furthermore, homes that were previously open could not hold jobs, and did not meet the burden and inviting to neighbors are now enclosed of supporting their families. Although they real- within hi-rise buildings where no one can see ized that the behavioral norms that applied in what goes on inside (Erchak, 1984; Menjivar & Ethiopia were not valid in Israel, they were not Salcido, 2002; Rianon & Shelton, 2003), as familiar with the behavioral patterns that did suit summed up by a single mother who separated the new culture’s norms and with its laws con- from her violent husband: cerning domestic conduct. Family roles thus became reversed. Although, as one male inter- Excerpt 3.2: In Ethiopia, homes are open. You viewee stated, ‘‘some men understood that they are never alone. But here, people are busy. had to forgo honor and total responsibility for Neighbors don’t drop in all the time. their households and to exercise greater caution in their behavior,’’ others reverted to patterns Recently, a new phenomenon developed in familiar from Ethiopia, forcing their authority which married men who feel that their honor on their wives and children, as one older male within their families in Israel is being trampled community leader explained as follows: go back to Ethiopia and set up new families that accord them honor in the traditional way. There Excerpt 3.1: In Ethiopia, the woman suffered. are two violent consequences to such behavior: She worked at home and was beaten. Here, she First, men take their Israeli families’ money to realizes she has rights. The man signified all support their other families in Ethiopia, and sec- power and control to her [in Ethiopia], while ond, some of them contract AIDS in Ethiopia here, the opposite is true. Men say that it’s a coun- and infect their wives when they return to Israel, try of women and children . One of our most difficult problems is that we are not familiar with as attested to by several participants, immigrants, the culture, the laws. We’re in the dark. We do and external professionals alike. not understand the language. A man in Ethiopia was responsible for his home, property, children, Undermining the traditional establishment. In wife. In Israel, a man is not worth anything. Women object to everything that men do. The Israel, the status of Kessim, and especially the law does not understand the man’s side. This is Shmagaleh (elders), declined because the Israeli how things that start from something small, from religious establishment did not accept their func- a misunderstanding, soon bring about violence tions and traditional authority. Young people and even murder. raised in Israel and women who learned the ad- vantages of relying on the Israeli establishment These remarks reflect extreme distress. All the in- avoided using their services. Nevertheless, these terviewee’s knowledge about families’ manage- traditional functions did not disappear entirely, as ment has now become useless, and he has no explained by one young female participant: idea how to run his life in the new situation. He realizes that the reversal of household roles is Excerpt 3.3: The younger generation does not use supported by Israeli society’s preferences, main- the Shmagaleh at all, but adults and the elderly taining that even if he still can do something to would rather go to them than take things outside improve his status at home, he is still ‘‘not worth and tell all the secrets of their homes to ‘‘offices.’’ anything’’ in Israeli society. He perceives a direct There is also a language problem. They prefer going to the Shmagaleh than to bringing along connection between Israeli law’s failure to under- someone to translate who will learn their secrets. stand the status of Ethiopian men and the rise in The Shmagaleh also usually keep secrets. domestic misunderstandings and violence. Along with the change in family role distribu- The key issue is the adults’ refusal to expose their tion, traditional support systems disappeared as problems to the community because of the possi- well and with them mutual assistance. A battered ble threat to their families’ honor. On the one woman can no longer find shelter at her generally hand, they bring their domestic issues before the small and crowded parents’ home. The protected community elders, who are known for their dis- space she once enjoyed in the household kitchen cretion, instead of applying to official institutions has also been taken from her in the name of equal- for which they will require interpreters who might Spouse Abuse Among Israeli Ethiopian Immigrants 1285 expose their secrets. On the other hand, the tradi- how to cope with it in terms of his inner respect. tional process may prove extended (Ben-David, How can he accept all these directives from a woman if such a thing is unacceptable in his 1999). Women largely prefer establishment bod- culture? He knows that there [in Ethiopia] the ies because they are quick to prescribe interven- woman is the ‘‘interior minister’’ of the home tion that may include economic benefits, such as but is not in command positions. But here, that housing for single mothers. A young male volun- same man has no choice . He goes out of his teers’ course participant said as follows: mind because in Ethiopia the clerks are all men . This exerts a very powerful effect. He doesn’t know how to take it because it’s some- Excerpt 3.4: In Ethiopia, disputes are brought thing new for him . The many, many mistakes before the Shmagaleh. These elders would assess that were made gradually gave rise to frustration both sides, the husband’s and the wife’s, and then among men and led to all these crises, depres- say ‘‘you have to give in’’ to either of them. This sion, divorce, beatings and whatever . As is lacking in Israel. Women prefer ‘‘offices’’ to a result of this whole mess, the men became the Shmagaleh because the Shmagaleh do not op- very frustrated. They could not tolerate social erate according to law, but rather according to services and social workers and said that they tradition. Here, women prefer going to the police simply cause separation. because they have more rights. The above citation indicates that men blame the Comparisons made by research participants – female social workers for encouraging their especially men – reveal several differences in wives to leave them. As an older married man handling of domestic disputes by ‘‘offices’’ and noted: elders: The elders hear both sides before making decisions, conducting lengthy proceedings Excerpt 3.6: When a young woman applies to involving couples and their families. Their default social service social workers, what do they tell choice is always peacemaking. Only when it has her? She says she has no refrigerator, no gas. been proved that domestic peace is not feasible, ‘‘Why? Is your husband unemployed?’’ ‘‘Yes, he’s unemployed.’’ So as long as there’s a hus- will they decide to dissolve a marriage. The inter- band around, you won’t get anything. What viewees maintained that Israeli institutions are should I do? If I were a single mother, a widow, usually satisfied with hearing one side and are a divorcee, I would get something. So what do too quick to encourage dissolution of marriages. women do? Automatically [they say to themselves]: ‘‘What do I care? So what? A man? It’s because of this man that I have to suffer. He Culture-insensitive treatment. Since its founding, doesn’t bring me anything.’’ So she says ‘‘Fine, the State of Israel has sustained a multicultural I’ll go and find something to blame on him. Then society, having accommodated immigrants from I’ll get things easily.’’ all over the world representing a wide variety of Jewish ethnic groups. This constant influx gives The interviewee claims that a woman will per- rise to tension between the need for standardiza- form a cold economic calculation, accuse her tion of family services and the flexibility required spouse of abuse, and have him banished from to ensure culture-sensitive provision thereof their home. The speaker points directly to the (Bustin, 2004). Treatment and prevention of social workers as the source of information and spousal abuse among immigrants from Ethiopia blames them for shattering their family integrity. is an excellent example of such tension. The ease with which families may be dissolved Data analysis reveals culture insensitivity of has increased the incidence of single-parent fam- the Israeli establishment to the Ethiopian Jewish ilies among these immigrants to proportions immigrants. The first trauma experienced by male far exceeding those that prevailed in Ethiopia Ethiopian immigrants to Israel is the discovery (Swirsky, Krauss, Connor-Attias, & Herbst, that most family services are run by women 2002; Weil, 1991). (Ben-Ezer, 1989), as echoed by a young, unmar- Men complained that fabricated accounts of ried male social worker who coordinated the pre- violence to have husbands banished from their vention program: homes and gain economic benefits are a kind of spousal abuse perpetrated by women against Excerpt 3.5: Here is his first trauma, for example: them, abuse learned as a result of their finan- When he [an Ethiopian man] comes to the Absorption Center, he does not know how to cial distress and the establishment’s cultural react to the female social worker who processes insensitivity. One male interviewee expressed him and tells him what to do. He does not know the men’s distress in harsh terms: 1286 Journal of Marriage and Family

Excerpt 3.7: When you let a dog off its leash, it observations, and documents revealed that there starts to bite! In Ethiopia, a woman was like have been no changes in traditional life values, a tied-up dog, she would clean, she would cook, she was under your shoe . including holism, collectivism, and the code of honor. In family and spousal relations, however, I believe this abrasive statement captures the dramatic changes took place, some of which are extreme frustration and helplessness that men incompatible with these traditional life values. experience as they face change. The resulting disparity between community and Men also complain of cultural insensitivity families’ values engendered spousal tension that evident in police behavior. When a violent man was intensified by the cultural insensitivity of is removed from his home by police officers Israeli establishment employees. In spousal- and taken away in a police car, the damage to violence discourse between the establishment his honor and that of his family and community and the community, the study uncovered failures is irreversible, as clarified by one young man: in intercultural communication regarding values, behavior, social representations, and theory that Excerpt 3.8: In families, for example, a woman are also reflected in spousal relations. phones the police and suddenly they arrest the husband. The question is: How much does this help? It doesn’t help at all! It causes extraordi- Values nary damage within families. The father is frus- Several disparities were noted. First, the collec- trated, nervous . Not only does he not understand the significance and implications of it tivism and holism espoused by immigrants from all but he essentially experiences much anger, Ethiopia ascribe importance to the community hatred, and bitterness, affecting his entire family context in which spousal relations take place, circle. This whole idea of police . Before arrest- whereas Israeli society as a whole emphasizes ing the husband, that same policeman . should try to understand all the cultural aspects. When the individual within these relations (Freund, he comes to arrest an Ethiopian, he should at least 2001). Consequently, when intercultural dia- be aware of how to behave toward him. He logue took place regarding spousal violence, the should understand this cultural system, but in Ethiopian immigrant community seeks to pre- practice, he does not. serve its collective identity and order even at the expense of individual well-being, whereas When the police, judicial system, social services, the institutions representing Israeli society or prison service is involved in treatment of strived to maintain individual well-being despite domestic violence among immigrants from any possible adverse effects on collective Ethiopia, the problem almost immediately be- integrity (Bui, 2003). comes a public issue and at times may even gain media coverage. The man accused of violence feels humiliated; his honor has been damaged. Behavior He finds himself in a situation in which he feels The findings reveal a gender gap in tendencies there is no way back and he has nothing to lose. toward preservation and change among immi- This situation exacerbates violence and is liable grants from Ethiopia. Men tended to maintain tra- to lead to murder and suicide. ditional customs and values in all that concerns spousal violence, including use of instructive force and appealing to the Shmagaleh to solve SUMMARY AND CONCLUSIONS domestic quarrels. Even those who understood This study sought to obtain first-hand informa- that preserving old customs does not suit their tion about spousal abuse among immigrants from new surroundings had no idea how to change Ethiopia in their cultural transition from a tradi- them or what the alternatives are (Bui, 2003). Par- tional society in their country of origin to a mod- ticipants in this study claim that this situation ern one in Israel. The study was motivated by the partly results from the Israeli establishments’ care absence of an Amharic term for ‘‘domestic vio- of women and neglect of men. Empowerment has lence,’’ the high rate of spousal violence among given women more options than men. In domes- immigrants from Ethiopia compared with that tic quarrels, for example, women can decide of the general population, and the assumption that whether to apply for assistance from traditional social services failed to prevent and treat the authorities or the Israeli establishment (Shabtay & problem. A thematic analysis of interviews, Kacen, 2005). Men’s preference for the former Spouse Abuse Among Israeli Ethiopian Immigrants 1287 and women’s for the latter impel men toward regarding spousal relations are not relevant in tra- preservation of traditional customs and women ditional society. The feelings that were identified toward aspiration for change. These differences in research on spousal relations among immi- exacerbated spousal tension and increased the grants from Ethiopia are confusion and helpless- risk of violent outbursts in spousal relations. ness, nourished by inability to fulfill their traditional function as heads of households and by failure to understand the culture of the sur- Social Representations rounding society. As the establishment represent- Social representations reflect a social group’s ing this society is based on Western theories of everyday knowledge through language, images, domestic violence, most professional responses values, positions, norms, and behavior (Wagner, are directed individually at victims or perpetra- 1998). According to Wagner, one may only tors and not at their cultural environment. This understand social representations through the disparity creates a serious breakdown in intercul- eyes of the group itself; moreover, such represen- tural communications and adversely affects the tations may be explained only in their appropriate establishment’s ability to help prevent and elimi- social context. Levin-Rozalis (2000) claims that nate violence. social representations of time, function, bureau- Considering these conclusions, a theoretical cracy, group, social status, and community orien- understanding of domestic violence among im- tation among immigrants from Ethiopia differ migrants from Ethiopia is to be approached pri- substantially from those of Israeli society as marily in terms of the social psychology of a whole, causing misunderstandings and commu- immigration. Bar-On’s theory (2005) of social nication failures between them. As indicated in identity development may serve as an appropriate this study, the Amharic language has no social framework, as it defines three key stages in its representation for concepts of violence between development: monolithic, monolith disintegra- married couples. The findings suggest that break- tion, and multivoicedness. Immigration of a soci- downs in discourse about domestic violence ety with a monolithic identity into a multivoiced between Israeli society and the Ethiopian immi- one is liable to disintegrate the monolith, engen- grant community originate in differences in dering social discord and violence. social representation of the concept by the two respective cultures. Although in Israeli society, Research Implications domestic violence is a judgmental concept that perceives violence as a negative phenomenon Although this study examined only a few partic- demanding punishment of its perpetrator, in the ipants involved in domestic violence, it remains culture of Ethiopian Jewry, the term ‘‘education’’ of major significance because it provides the first most commonly describes the phenomenon. comprehensive ethnographic picture of the phe- Education has a different meaning in the Israeli nomenon of domestic violence among immi- society. grants from Ethiopia in Israel. Its conclusions have immediate implications for policy and praxis alike. Theory In determining policies, efforts should be made Western theories summarized at the beginning of to help the community cope with changes result- this study do not supply an adequate conceptual ing from immigration, including preliminary framework for understanding spousal violence work before the immigrants’ arrival, explanation among immigrants from Ethiopia in Israel, as of the anticipated changes, and provision of infor- they focus on spousal and personality dynamics mation about Israeli law (Lee, 2004). Further- and almost entirely ignore the cultural compo- more, professionals should be equipped with nent. In the culture of immigrants from Ethiopia, the tools and knowledge they require to under- power and dependency relations between men stand domestic violence within the context of cul- and women living together characterize the cultural transition (Lee & Greene, 1999). They tural definition of normative spousal relations should be encouraged to prevent violence at the (Ben-Ezer, 1989; Levin-Rozalis, 2000), whereas community level by developing dialogue skills in Western society they typify pathological rela- as a means of resolving spousal conflicts, pre- tions (Dutton, 1996; Ferraro, 1988; Lempert, serving male honor by providing men with work 1997). For this reason, ambivalent feelings skills, finding them jobs, and developing their 1288 Journal of Marriage and Family leadership qualities as well as those of women. shoneh be‘Israel’, motza adati ve’min be’tipul For this purpose, we recommend creating frame- be’Israel (pp. 273 – 282). Tel Aviv, Israel: Ramot – works in which professionals and immigrant Tel Aviv University. community members may form a ‘‘common dia- Ben-Ezer, G. (1989). ‘‘Kod ha’kavod’’: Dfusay tik- logue space’’ in which problems and cultural shoret ben-tarbutit shel oley Ethiopia be’Israel issues will be resolved through reciprocal learn- [The code of honor: Patterns of intercultural com- ing, cooperation, and equality. It is also advisable munication among immigrants from Ethiopia in to train professionals to improve their cultural Israel]. Sugiyot be’noseh mishpacha shel yehudey sensitivity to this community and to help them Ethiopia, 4, 17 – 36. understand the reciprocal connection between Ben-Ezer, G. (1992). Kmo or ba’cad: Aliyatam ve’- micro and macro. klitatam shel yehudey Ethiopia [Like light in a jug: Insofar as praxis is concerned, we still have to The immigration and absorption of Ethiopian respond to victims individually. Professionals Jewry]. Jerusalem, Israel: Reuven Mass. should have the means necessary to locate people Ben-Ezer, G. 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