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UNCENSORED Double-Awwww Give It Five Years Erm E8 H TORONTO STAR H SUNDAY, JANUARY 23, 2011 ON ON0 ON ON0 SUNDAY, JANUARY 23, 2011 H TORONTO STAR H E9 ENTERTAINMENT STARGAZING POP GOES THE WEEK Specs, dregs, hexes & vexed vixens l Really old things come back to life 1) Scientists at Kyoto University say they will clone a If you’re looking for fashion tips, relationship advice and insight into deeper emotional well-being, you’re in the wrong place mammoth within the next five years. 2) 34,000-year-old salt-encased bacteria BY MALENE ARPE spontaneously begins breeding. 3) Hugh Hefner takes to Twitter and says that “age is still just a number” after Ricky Gervais makes fun of him at the Globes. l Steven Tyler reveals that he used to snort Lunesta But since he has had to sit through the CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY American Idol auditions of 397 Sarah Jessica Parker is filming I Don’t Know How She Does It, in which she sensitive singer-songwriters the apparently plays someone who gets unfortunate hand tattoos while drunk and need for any kind of sleeping aid then punishes herself by hitting her head with a cell phone. Looks promising. has completely disappeared. l MATT SAYLES/AP PHOTO FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY IMAGES Julianne Hough and Christina Aguilera may or may not have Steve Buscemi and his once beloved, now estranged, protege, Skeletor, had a nasty cat fight Possible narrowly avoided running into each other at the Golden Globes. points of contention: 1) Who has the better and cuter fake boyfriend. 2) Who has the KIYOSHI OTOA/GETTY IMAGES better fake hair colour. 3) Who Seth Rogen’s improved hypno-glasses was worse in Burlesque. cast a beauty spell over everything CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY l Octomom Nadya Suleman except Adam Lambert’s outfit. If Zac Efron concentrates hard enough maybe his hair will grow back sooner. stars in a fetish video in which she whips a diaper-wearing grown man with a tattooed forehead You know, Nadya, JASON REDMOND/REUTERS when they say that your children CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY Adam Lambert, even if the designer are going to love and respect Jack Black will bring back cuffed has a box full of deeply incriminating you no matter what, as long as jeans even if he has to stand there photos of you, there’s no excuse for you try your best to provide for all day and all night and all next day. wearing that. Whatever that is. CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY them, they totally lie. l Keith Urban and Nicole Free advice time, Chris Hemsworth! You may want to have that thing looked Kidman call their baby Faith PATRICK SEMANSKY/AP PHOTO after before you start promoting Thor. Unless it’s some kind of angry, rude Their other daughter is named Coming to a theatre near you: Samuel L. Jackson and Luke Wilson in the gesture directed at the photographer. In which case you should probably still Sunday. Now all they need is a dramedy, I Have No Idea What’s Going On And You Look Lost Too. have it looked after before you start promoting Thor. You’re VERY welcome. boy named Collection Plate Pete and they’ll have the hottest trio on the church circuit. l Keanu Reeves doesn’t think that gun violence in his movies has led to gun violence in real life He does, however, admit he JASON MERRITT/GETTY IMAGES KATY WINN/GETTY IMAGES JOHN SHEARER/GETTY IMAGES DAVID LIVINGSTON/GETTY IMAGES may have contributed to Claire Bloom, Lindsay Pulsipher, Julia Stiles and Julianne Hough present a new category: Necklace Or Incendiary Device. widespread moping, a rash of sad-face and a marked increase in questionable grooming. l This week in hair 1) Robert Pattinson dyes his hair red. 2) Jennifer Aniston says that the “Rachel” was, “the ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen.” 3) E! makes Khloe Kardashian change her red locks back to brown. 4) An L.A. company wants to open a Justin Bieber concept store. l Anne Hathaway will play Kurt’s lesbian aunt on Glee She’ll be singing the classic “Please stop with the guest stars on a show that was once sweet and funny and has now become an annoying parade of celebs awkwardly shoe-horned into non-sensical story lines.” MIKE COPPOLA/GETTY IMAGES CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY l A movie based on Angry While Andy Samberg is out having a Jessica Alba and her husband Cash Warren gave the help a day off Jared Leto, recipient of the world’s first CENTRAL IMAGE AGENCY What is Steven Tyler doing? A) Promoting American Good morning, class. Today we’ll be talking about the classic Birds is reportedly in wonderful time, back in 1977, a freezing and went shopping themselves. Unfortunately they never quite Barbie-to-human hair transplant, shows no Eric Bana is A) Having a better time than you. B) Having a better time than Idol. B) Saying no to drugs. C) Wondering where he is painting Matt Damon In A Window: Sunrise. Note how the development Mel Gibson, teenage boy is missing his winter coat. managed to figure out how to make the groceries appear in the cart. adverse effects from the treatment. you. C) Fleeing the Tentacled, Double-Toothed Mammoth Eel of Doom. and why the dancing, glowing tulips speak only French. smudges put the contemplative smirk-sorrow in stark relief. Christian Bale, Sean Penn, Eminem and Russell Crowe are already steamingly irate that they haven’t been offered a role. l Apocalypse watch 1) Jesse James and Kat Von D get engaged. 2) Two-hundred cows drop dead in Wisconsin. 3) George Lucas believes the world will end in 2012. 4) Starbucks introduces the Trenta cup, a size bigger than the Venti. 5) Lindsay Lohan’s younger brother wants to be an actor. 6) Dave Navarro is dating Tila Tequila. 7) Owen Wilson’s baby is named Robert. l Celebrity math Question: If Charlie Sheen spends $26,000 PASCAL LE SEGRETAIN/GETTY IMAGES on Vegas hookers and you can rent Orlando Bloom’s house for I wondered what happened to Matthew Fox, $18,000 a month, how long did RAY STUBBLEBINE/REUTERS but it looks like he’ll next play a hardened CHRISTOPHER POLK/GETTY IMAGES Mila Kunis’ $7,000 facial take? Ethan Hawke! If something is icky, you JASON REDMOND/AP PHOTO JOEL RYAN/AP PHOTO criminal - perhaps an eastern-European Jennifer Lawrence remains oddly unimpressed JOHN SHEARER/GETTY IMAGES JASON MERRITT/GETTY IMAGES FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY IMAGES TOBY CANHAM/GETTY IMAGES PHIL MCCARTEN/REUTERS Answer: Five million dollars can just let it go. Throw it on the floor! This week in People Who Can (And Really, Really Want To) Hurt gangster - just out of prison and trying to go as Quentin Tarantino offers to give her a very If you’re looking for glasses that will make you appear serious and contemplative, then come on down to Half-Off Full-On Spectacles just like worth of borrowed Harry Come on. It’ll be fine. Just. Let. It. Go. You Just By Looking At You: Joe Jonas and Dominic Cooper. straight by becoming a delivery boy. special private tour of his secret VHS vault. Annette Bening, Elijah Wood, Guy Pearce, Tim Daly and Helena Bonham Carter did. PS: Yes, Guy Pearce and Tim Daly are two different people. Winston diamonds for J.Lo. UNCENSORED Double-awwww Give it five years Erm . yes? No? Is it “I started acting to be possible there is no Nice. What am I supposed “I just can’t go to the included in a group, right answer? to do with 10 years worth mall. It bothers me that I And the TV-viewing of fan fiction now? because I felt excluded can’t be outside very "Do people think that public misses decency, in school . I just often. And also to not somewhere in my brain I “I have heard speculation that wit and talent. We all liked being in a group ever be ’some girl’ again. think Derek [Jeter] can save Sam and Frodo might be an have our crosses to bear of people that didn’t Just being some chick at me from someone telling me item, but I don’t think Tolkien "I miss my real name. I miss kick my shin.” some place, that’s gone.” my dog can’t fly?" really saw it that way.” people calling me Nicole." JESSE EISENBERG KRISTEN STEWART MINKA KELLY IAN MCKELLEN SNOOKI.
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