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T it wasn't supposed to happen this way, you know. But now no, husband has died, Jackie won't talk, and Lady Bird isn't giving interviews. hi,allthere is. I'm it.' — Nellie Connally, widow of former Texas Gov. John B. Connally

Special to The Dctlat Morning Newt Adrees Latlf The N xt Chapter

By Maryin Schwartz Nellie Sluff Writer of The Dallas Morning News HOUSTON — Nellie Connally Connally, can tell you exactly how horrifying it was to be in the same car where President John once the P. Kennedy was assassinated and her husband gravely wounded. Part of her hair consummate almost instantly turned white. Thirty years later she's handling a checkbook and who says her husband always spoke for both of them, "sometimes even finishing my sentences because I would stammer if I had to talk publicly." But don't discount this woman as fluff. Her very public life, both in and out of the political arena, has never been easy. She has stood tough through talking about that fatal day, this fame and fortune, a daughter's political time safely tucked away in her suicide, breast cancer, political elegant Houston high-rise. scandal and even public Although, after Nov. 22, 1963, humiliation. Only this is the wife who Nellie Connally wasn't sure she first time she's had to do it all would ever feel totally safe alone. again. "This wasn't supposed to stayed in the Today she is dressed in a happen this way," she says. "But chic yellow suit, looking much now my husband is dead, Jackie younger than her almost 75 won't talk, and Lady Bird isn't background, years. Her husband, former giving interviews. I'm all there Texas governor and former U.S. is. I'm it." secretary of the Treasury, died The phone keeps ringing is now just last June. with calls from Good Morning Now, Nellie Connally finds America, Today and thrust in herself in the somewhat lesser known shows from bewildering position of being around the world. Everyone in the total spotlight for the wants to hear Nellie Connally's the spotlight first time in her life, Rather remembrances of the awesome, for a woman who assassination. IMMIIIIMM■11111111E once was so protected that she She takes a deep sigh and never even had to worry about Please see NOV. 22 on Page 3C. Continued from Page IC. once more starts to remember. Immediately after the shooting, she says, she was stoic. She was going to hold herself together for her husband and her children. They needed her. It wasn't until she got back to Austin a few weeks later that she saw a vivid sign of the personal toll the assassination hor- rors had taken. "When John got out of the hospi- tal," she says, and we returned home, I went to have my hair done. The hairdresser looked at me in amazement. "She said, 'Mrs. Connally, you've got a 2-inch streak of white hair In your head that wasn't there when you left here.' "I asked my doctor to explain this," she says. "He said if I had yelled and screamed I would have gotten some of that anxiety and ter- ror out. But I didn't. The body re- acts. I got that streak of white hair." Her husband, too, was haunted for months afterward. "John had constant nightmares — someone was chasing him, some- Declaring bankruptcy and one was trying to rob him. The nightmares just wouldn't stop. They holding an auction in the kept corning again and again. Some- Late '80s were the most hu- one was out to get him " miliating moments of their They got through this together, a lives, Mrs. Connally says. pattern for their lives. The Connallys were married for almost 53 years. She says her hus- band never thought he would die. "It's been so difficult," she says. • there supporting and backing up "I .spend half the day crying, half her husband. Before his death, he the day not crying. But I'm crying wrote In History's Shadow (Hyped- less every day." . on:. $24.95). She is doing his book But no one who knows Mrs. Con- tour and answering all the tough nally ever doubted that she's tough questions she just used to sit and and strong. :watch the governor tackle. "Nellie has always been a class now, for the first time, she's act," a friend says. "John Connally :speaking in her own voice. A voice would have never been what he that's surprisingly strong and can- . ;did. • On Jacqueline Kennedy Ones- was if it wasn't for Nellie. She - tiS: doesn't even know how tough she • "I have never seen her or heard is. She would be angry with me for . from her after the funeral. John . saying this, so don't use my name, Was still ill. We sent our 17-year-old . but she was every bit as important son John to represent us at the fu- :to John as Hillary is to Bill. neral for President Kennedy. My "Only Nellie came up through a son insisted that I write a note to different generation. She didn't go Mrs. Kennedy. I didn't think I could . to Cabinet meetings, and she didn't do that. My husband was alive; her take on Cabinet positions. But she husband was dead. I told my son I had a strength that kept her man didn't know what to say. But John- going." ny was determined. He insisted I do . The former Idanell Brill of Aus- it. He told us later, Mrs. Kennedy fin has always been the consum- mate political wife. She is still out took his hand ano said, 'John, the "I remember at the beginning, only good thing to come out of this the first time John stepped off a was that your father is alive.' She plane with his briefcase, striding was very warm and kind. She sent confidently ahead. I was behind me a note. It was very warm also. with all the bundles. No one noticed I've never made it public." me. Finally someone said, 'Who are you?' I said, 'I'm the live-In.' " But years later, Mrs. Connally She says political wives have to read an interview that Mrs. Kenne- get used to being in the background dy had given to William Manches- and never really knowing if there's ter. "She said I was behaving badly going to be someone to take them in that car," says Mrs. Connally, home. "that I was screaming. That's not Then there are women who flock around handsome, charismatic and people. They never responded. powerful men like her husband. true. There were few words said in "Yes, they were always there. It's that car. She said, 'What have they What a waste. John could have real- ly helped." irritating. It's not nice. But you done to Jack?' After I could hear the have to make peace with it. You third bullet fired, she said, 'I have A humiliating moment have to trust. I just said I could part of his brain in my hand.' I handle it if John came home at leaned over to my husband after he Mrs. Connally says a very public night — and John always came bankruptcy was the most humiliat- had been hit and said, 'Hush, it's home." going to be all right.' Other than ing point of a very public life. The She also says these groupies those words, there was absolute si- former governor had debts of S93 weren't always so appealing. lence. 1 think Jackie's early warm million and assets of St3 million In "They were always spilling response was what she really felt. 1987. The couple held a public bank- drinks on John or dropping their Later, I think some people were ruptcy auction that was even cov- cigarette ashes. John was a very managing her and telling her what ered on TV. to say." "I was the one who said we On John Connally's becoming should do the auction," she said. "It a Republican after being a Demo- was wrenching. We were right crat: there. When they brought a couch fastidious man. That didn't appeal "Our leanings were more with by to take on the auction stage, I to him." the Republican philosophy, but the would reach over and fluff the pil- She now says she was wrong not Republicans never really accepted lows. When they weren't explaining to know their business affairs. us. They didn't treat us well. You the background of some of our "I know John wanted to protect have to be born a Republican to be things correctly, John would call me," she says. "But it's not right." accepted. A lot of our Democratic up the information from the audi- Her son John is now a lawyer friends would have turned Republi- ence." who helps with her legal matters. can, too, if they had treated John She admits that many friends Son Mark and daughter Sharon live and I better, but they didn't." bought the items and saved them to in Austin and help with her busi- ■ On George Bush: return to the Connallys later. ness affairs. Another daughter, "We were never close to the This and the fact that the Con- Kathleen, committed suicide at age Bushes. I think George never for- nallys left the bankruptcy proceed- 16. It's a tragedy neither parent ever gave John for supporting Lloyd ings in a chauffeur-driven limou- recovered from. There are still no Bentsen when Lloyd was running sine caused talk and criticism. answers. She does not discuss it against George for Congress. We "I don't recall that we did leave publicly. Her husband talked of it helped beat George Bush. He never in a chauffeur-driven limousine," for the first time in his book. He forgot, even though we were Demo- she says. "But if we did, I can assure said it would be the last he would crats at the time. The Bushes were mu it wasn't ours." ever speak of it. never warm to us. During the last Fortunes have since reversed. Mrs. Connally says this book was election and Republican conven- Her lifestyle in Houston is cush- just meant to be her husband's first firm, John wanted to help out. We ioned and comfortable. But she book. In the next one he would "re- made many overtures to the Bush does not soften her account of how ally take the gloves off." brutal the life of a political wife can Now she is the only one who can be. do it. "I remember at the beginning, Would this excite or frighten the first time Jahn stepped off a her? plane with his briefcase, striding "You know," she smiles, "1 really confidently ahead, I was behind just might do it." with all the bundles. No one noticed me. Finally someone said, 'Who are you?' I said, 'I'm the live-in' " She says political wives have to get used to being in the background