Listening Leader Toolkit I CAN’T HEAR YOU Why High-Quality Listening Should Be Every Leader’s Responsibility

Nydia Teter COML 602 | Fall 2019 | Dr. Carolyn Cunningham There is a saying that employees don’t leave jobs — they leave managers.

According to organizational psychologist Liane Davey, author of You First: Inspire Your Team to Grow Up, Get Along, and Get Stuff Done, “We’ve known for years that the biggest impact on an employee’s experience of work is related to their supervisor.

“Although your business card says you work for your company, the immediate personification of that company is the human being that you report to.”1

A 2017 survey from the American Psychological Association found that the top determinant of employee satisfaction and trust in their employer came down to their sense of supervisor support.

This means much of perceived employment experience for a staff member comes down to one person: their supervisor.

The same survey revealed that nearly 80% of those who felt supported by their supervisor also said they trust their employer; 56% who did not feel that support did not trust their employer.2

So, where is the disconnect? Where has the trust gone?

© Andrew Teoh 2 Perhaps a difficult conversation is standing in the way, or Want More Trust? Listen More! maybe a sense of oversight or even betrayal. In the VitalSmarts survey (some results shown at right), 59% of respondents were willing to live with poor productivity 70% avoid difficult rather than have a difficult conversation; 96% were willing conversations with their boss, coworker, or direct report to endure poor morale; and 86% would tolerate a poor work environment.3 38% say the most difficult topics to These findings and others reflect how important workplace discuss are broken promises, violated listening is in building trust between employees and expectations, or competence concerns managers. Findings consistently suggest:

• People will follow a leader they trust. 34% have put off holding a difficult conversation for at least a month • They will trust their leader if they feel understood by that leader.

• They will feel understood by their leader when they 25% have put off holding a difficult 3 feel heard by the leader. conversation for more than a year

While listening is one of several factors that play into Resource: Infographic — Want More Trust? Listen More! employee trust, it also plays a key role in that it has the power to make employees feel cared for, equipped, and capable. Read forward for ways that can help you develop stronger trust bonds with your team through high-quality listening.

3 When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.

— Ernest Hemingway Three Ways Listening Builds Trust

By exploring workplace listening, specifically between supervisor and employee, this resource can help you find ways to become a better listener and gain trust from your team.

We will look at three ways to build trust through listening:

1. Listen to understand 2. Listen to equip 3. Listen to lead

This ebook is part of the Listening Leader Toolkit, which includes:

• An infographic (partially shown on page 3) with a step-by-step guide on how listening to your staff can change the conversation

• A playlist of rich content in the form of podcasts, TEDTalks, articles and blogs, many to help you grow on-the-go

• An assessment to explore with your team to learn about and understand each other’s listening styles

5 © Shane Rounce Let the wise listen and add to their learning.

— The Bible, Proverbs 1:15 Chapter 1 Listen to understand How Leaders Can Practice Better Listening

Research shows good listening has the power to break down barriers by making the speaker comfortable in disclosing more, as they feel free to speak openly. However, as with many traits of leadership, listening with intent is a learned trait.6 A few pointers on better listening:

• Listen without interrupting. If you speak, ask questions. • Abstain from offering counsel, advice or opinion. • Maintain eye contact. • Actively listen: Affirm, nod; show you’re interested. • Ask (more) questions about the speaker’s topic. • Focus 100% on the listener. Turn off or silence devices. • Listen in before listening out. Team or performance issues can be better understood by asking questions of the team before looking for someone to blame or asking others outside the team.6

7 © Markus Spiske © BINGO

A fully engaged listener leans in to hear and understand her companion, offering her undivided attention and interest.

Don’t be afraid to have your mind changed. As you listen Acknowledgment is not agreement. It is merely a sign more, the speaker will open up more, potentially disclosing of respect. If the conversation concerns a difference of things of which you were unaware but that could give opinion, listening more will likely bring you both closer to important context into the employee’s experience. the middle — maybe not to agreement, but to understanding. Because to the speaker, being heard Learn more about listening to understand through high-quality listening allows them to become Audio: Why I’m a Listener8 aware of solutions that would not be available if they were Kevin Sharer, Former CEO, Amgen to feel defensive or competitive.7 Here’s how it works:

8 • You, the manager, begin high-quality listening: You’re • Take care to maintain the speaker’s trust and empathic, engaged, and invite the speaker in. confidence. Anything less “goes against the spirit of the trust, communication, cooperation, and collaboration that • The speaker begins to tell you their idea, concern or — you’re trying to establish.”10 even better — a story.

• The more you listen, the more the speaker feels safe and understood and continues to open up to you. If they tell you a story, be ready to be more engaged, as stories help us relate to one another and can help establish a bond.

• Manager: Maintain the safe space you’ve created. It demands respect and reverence, as together you create shared meaning. One philosopher considered this encounter so sacred as to be like “a meeting with God.”9

• As you continue to protect the listening environment, the speaker will become more aware of the pros and cons of their attitude, realizing multiple perspectives and that they might be wrong.

• Manager: Keep the moment alive.

• It is possible the employee, the speaker, will arrive at positive attitude changes all on their own, potentially even inviting your feedback. Lord, grant that I may not so much seek to be understood as to understand.

— Prayer of Saint Francis Chapter 2 Listen to equip How Different Leadership Styles Affect Team Trust Through listening, good leaders can help create what Judi Brownell, an expert in hospitality management and corporate culture, calls a strong listening environment — “characterized by a concern for the individual employee and his or her values, needs, and goals.”11 Once that environment is built, establishing and growing trust also call on specific leadership skills to make a team successful.

Because a team's success is determined by its ability to deliver against organizational expectations, the type of leadership in place can dramatically affect its performance. Next, we look at how two forms of leadership can equip your team in different ways for success.

Servant Leadership Servant leadership was conceptualized in the 1970s by Robert Greenleaf in response to what he considered a leadership crisis in the United States. According to Greenleaf, servant leadership focuses primarily on the growth and welfare of others, the product of one who is first a servant and then bestowed leadership.12

11 © Jeremy Yap How Servant Leadership Earns Trust environments that empower teams by building up their One result of servant leadership is affect-based trust, a collective self-confidence and faith in each other’s ideas. shared emotional bond between individuals. When this Research shows this type of atmosphere can bring about type of connection forms in a team or with a leader: improved team performance, as teams believe in their ability to deliver their best work together. • A psychologically safe environment takes shape. • The safe environment enables team members to share More About Affect-based and Cognitive-based Trust openly and without fear of recrimination. • Cognitive-based trust, which is more skills-based, assures team plans align with organizational strategies and plans. • The increased information-sharing promotes team More skills-based, it is most effective in times of rapid confidence and performance.13 change and uncertainty. Transformational Leadership and Trust • Affect-based trust tends to create a more emotionally Another, more pragmatic style of leadership leads to a based connection and is most helpful for groups in different kind of trust. The transformational leader seeks stable environments. to align follower interests with a collective agenda, It is important to note that a leader can be or become equipping the team to reach goals. This type of leader competent in servant- and transformational leadership, plans the work and works the plan. shifting as needed with circumstances.13

Transformational leadership also has been linked to cognition-based trust, which is based largely on a leader’s competence, earning favor with the team as being knowledgeable and reliable.13 Learn more about listening to equip. Podcast: The Importance of Listening14 While these leadership styles produce different results in Dr. Henry Cloud team settings, they can build open, safe, and trusting work

12 Chapter 3 Listen to lead Bringing It All Together For Good Research shows listening is often perceived as a leadership trait — specifically, a trait of transformational leadership.15 This charisma-based leadership style inspires and motivates, changing the status quo in pursuit of a better future and bringing followers along in a way that transcends their own interests.

To create an effective listening environment, Brownell advises the following approaches:

1. Encouraging information sharing. Get to know each employee and tailor your communication to their needs. Employees who feel heard are more likely to also feel empowered and loyal. This personalized approach also helps reduce misinformation that can travel through informal channels. At the same time, it opens up the flow of information through the

Learn more about listening to lead. Podcast: Listen, Learn and Lead16 Andy Stanley, Pastor, North Point Church

13 organization, which can increase receptivity to new The Power and Potential in Listening ideas and improve organizational agility and Listening is a complex, multidisciplinary interaction that, adaptability. while difficult to measure, tends to produce stronger 2. Modeling effective listening. It's important to “walk relationships through the reception of the Other. the talk” of creating a listening environment because The philosopher introduced in Chapter One, Martin Buber, employees are always watching for alignment between believed “all living is in meeting,”17 meaning that we were a leader’s words and actions. To build a listening created to be in community, and that we need each other. environment could mean rethinking how you go about His approach to the Other was one of openness not just to your everyday business practices, so consider the what his companion was saying, even if went contrary to implications of this important commitment. Buber's own persuasion or belief, but to what could 3. Being a symbolic leader. Everything we do or say transpire as a result of that meeting and of genuine dialog. communicates something — from daily rituals like saying good morning to staff in the office, to open Buber coined the phrase “I/Thou,” ascribing the high- office doors, to regularly working through the lunch language “thou” because these meetings — where one hour or eating in the dining room with other staff. enters the space of the Other to listen and understand — is Nonverbal communication speaks volumes about our so special, so sacred, when we regard one another as a values and priorities, so make sure the messages you reflection of our Creator. To hold each other in high regard send tell others — verbally and nonverbally — that you in this way can lead to new understandings. Modern are listening to them. As opportunities arise, hire staff thought leaders suggest promise in corporate productivity with good listening skills. Taken together, these efforts as openness and trust increase within teams and with can add contribute to a healthy listening environment. leaders. Perhaps finding that place of safety and trust comes as much from listening to stories as telling them. References

1. Fessler, L. (2017, October 30). A new study shows how managers can double employee satisfaction and trust. Quartz at Work. Retrieved from https://qz.com/work/1108444/employee-satisfaction-and-trust-is-tightly-linked-to-manager-support/

2. American Psychological Association. (2017). 2017 Job skills training and career development survey. Retrieved from Center for Organizational Excellence website: http://www.apaexcellence.org/assets/general/2017-training-survey-results.pdf

3. VitalSmarts Research. (n.d.). Employees fear crucial conversations. Retrieved from https://p.widencdn.net/ipnmjb/Employees-Fear-Crucial- Conversations-Research-Summary

4. Itzchakov, G., & Kluger, A. N. (2017). The listening circle: A simple tool to enhance listening and reduce extremism among employees. Organizational Dynamics, 46(4), 220-226. doi:10.1016/j.orgdyn.2017.05.005

5. Spears, L. (2005). Practicing servant-leadership. Leader to Leader, 34. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1002/ltl.94

6. Greenleaf, R. K. (2008). The servant as leader.

7. Itzchakov, G., & Kluger, A. N. (2019). Changing the other party's attitude with high quality listening. In Negotiation essentials for lawyers.

8. McKinsey Quarterly. (2012, April). Why I'm a listener: Amgen CEO Kevin Sharer. Retrieved from https://www.mckinsey.com/featured- insights/leadership/why-im-a-listener-amgen-ceo-kevin-sharer

9. Friedman, M. S. (1960). Martin Buber: The life of dialogue. Religion Online.

10. Harvard Business Review. (2015, August 13). Become a better listener. HBR Ideacast [Podcast]. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/ideacast/ 2015/08/become-a-better-listener

11. Brownell, J. (1994). Creating strong listening environments: A key hospitality management task. International Journal of Contemporary Hospitality Management, 6(3), 03-10. doi:10.1108/09596119410059182

12. Greenleaf, R. K. (2008). The servant as leader. 15 References (continued) 13. Schaubroeck, J., Lam, S. S., & Peng, A. C. (2011). Cognition-based and affect-based trust as mediators of leader behavior influences on team performance. Journal of Applied Psychology, 96(4), 863-871. doi:10.1037/a0022625

14. Simios, K. (2018, July 2). Ep 028 Dr. Henry Cloud with Kim Simios. The Global Leadership Summit podcast [Podcast]. Retrieved from http:/ https://globalleadership.org/podcast/leading-others/ep-028-dr-henry-cloud-with-kim-simios/

15. Kluger, A. N., & Zaidel, K. (2013). Are listeners perceived as leaders? International Journal of Listening, 27(2), 73-84. doi: 10.1080/10904018.2013.754283

16. Stanley, A. (2013, February 8). Listen, learn and lead. Andy Stanley leadership podcast. Retrieved from https://podbay.fm/podcast/ 290055666/e/1360326420

17. Buber, M. (1937). I and thou.

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