Grade 5, Unit 1 Handout 1 Directions

Grade 5, Unit 1 Lesson 1: Empathy and Respect Handout 1

1.Directions Take turns interviewing each other using the following questions about the lyrics of the song “Walk, Walk, Walk.” 2. Write your partner’s responses in the spaces below the questions. 3. Compare your partner’s responses with responses from another pair of students. You see she’s getting angry, you’ve felt that feeling too

Describe a time when you’ve felt really angry:

What did you do?

Embarrassed, jealous, scared: strong emotions through and through

Describe a time when you’ve felt embarrassed, jealous, or scared:

What did you do?

Empathy’s the pathway to recognize and walk So you can dish out some compassion and really walk the talk.

Describe a time when you’ve helped another person or shown empathy:

How did that make you feel?

1.Directions Decide with your partner who will be the speaker first and who will be the listener. Then read the scenario out loud. 2. The listener listens with attention while the speaker describes three things about him- or herself. 3. After the speaker is finished, the listener checks off the skills he or she used. Then the speaker checks off the skills the listener used. 4. Did you and your partner check off the same skills? Discuss the differences, and practice again if any skills were missed. 5. Switch parts and repeat.

PretendScenario that you are going to meet a relative from another town for the first time next week. Describe three things about yourself that you would like this relative to know before you meet. You can include things such as your hobbies and interests, your personality, and some of your favorite things.

Listening-with-Attention Skills Listener’s Check Speaker’s Check Focus on the person’s words n n Don’t interrupt n n Ask questions to find out more n n Repeat what you heard to show you understand n n

1.Directions If you are Partner A, read the first scenario out loud. 2. If you are Partner B, respond assertively to the scenario while Partner A checks the skills you used. 3. Switch parts for the next scenario. Repeat until you finish the handout.

1.Scenarios You are having trouble understanding a test question. Assertively ask your teacher to clarify what it means.

Assertiveness Skills Yes Face the person you’re talking to n Keep your head up and shoulders back n Use a calm, firm voice n Use respectful words n

2. Somebody tries to push in front of you to get on the bus. Assertively tell the person to go to the back of the line.

Assertiveness Skills Yes Face the person you’re talking to n Keep your head up and shoulders back n Use a calm, firm voice n Use respectful words n

3. There is a new girl in your class. Your friend is saying mean things about the way she dresses. Assertively tell your friend to stop saying mean things.

Assertiveness Skills Yes Face the person you’re talking to n Keep your head up and shoulders back n Use a calm, firm voice n Use respectful words n

4. A classmate keeps interrupting you when you are trying to answer questions in a small-group discussion. Assertively tell your classmate to stop interrupting and that it is your turn to answer.

Assertiveness Skills Yes Face the person you’re talking to n Keep your head up and shoulders back n Use a calm, firm voice n Use respectful words n

CopyDirections this page and cut it into strips along the dotted lines. Make enough for one strip per pair of students.

WhenDirections the teacher says “Go,” start laughing in a loud, silly way. Predict what your partner will do (check one):

■ Start laughing with you. ■ Ask, “What’s so funny?” ■ Look confused. ■ Other:

WhenDirections the teacher says “Go,” start laughing in a loud, silly way. Predict what your partner will do (check one):

■ Start laughing with you. ■ Ask, “What’s so funny?” ■ Look confused. ■ Other:

WhenDirections the teacher says “Go,” start laughing in a loud, silly way. Predict what your partner will do (check one):

■ Start laughing with you. ■ Ask, “What’s so funny?” ■ Look confused. ■ Other:

1.Directions For Part 1, ask your partner which descriptions best suit him or her and put a check next to each description that fits. 2. For Part 2, fill in the blanks at the end of each sentence with words from the list of feelings words or words you think of on your own. 3. Have your partner check off how many feelings you predicted accurately.

Part 1 My partner: is easily embarrassed never gets embarrassed likes to play with one good friend likes to play with lots of people likes working with others likes to work alone is serious likes to joke around a lot is talkative is quiet gets angry easily usually remains calm

Part 2 Write your Partner If I . . . feelings word check

complimented my partner on writing a good poem, then he or she might feel... n

asked my partner to play soccer with a big group of kids at recess, then he or she might feel... n

made a funny face while my partner was giving a serious report, then he or she might feel... n

worked with my partner on a difficult math problem, then he or she might feel... n

made a joke about my partner’s new shoes, then he or she might feel... n

invited my partner to a big birthday party, then he or she might feel... n

joined in a conversation my partner was having with one other person, then he or she might feel... n

talked to my partner during silent reading time, then he or she might feel... n

Feelings Words happy, sad, glad, mad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, amused, grateful, respected, nervous, uncomfortable, disrespected

Instructions 1. Read the story below. 2. With your partner, answer to the following questions.

Scenario During silent reading time in class, the teacher asked Garrett to close the window shade by his desk. When he pulled on the string, the entire shade tumbled down. The class laughed. The teacher said to leave it. Garrett was really embarrassed.

Later, as everyone was going to recess, Dylan walked up to Garrett and said in a friendly way, “Hey…that was so funny when you pulled on the window shade and the whole thing came down!” Garrett snarled back, “Shut up!” and stomped away. Dylan didn’t understand why Garrett sounded so angry.

Questions How do you think Garrett feels about what just happened?

How can you tell?

How do you think Dylan feels about what just happened?

How can you tell?

How might Garrett act differently if he understood Dylan’s perspective?

How might Dylan act differently if he understood Garrett’s perspective?

Name:

What do adults and kids really know about what the other thinks? Let’s find out! You and an adult family member are going to try understanding each other’s perspective.

First, answer the questions on the left side of the page. Try to identify the other person’s perspective and the reasons he or she has that perspective. When you’re done, fold the page in half so your answers can’t be seen. Next, have your adult answer the same questions on the right side of the page. Then open the page and compare your answers to find out how well you understand each other’s perspective!

Student’s Perspective Adult’s Perspective

How many household chores should I do each week? My How many household chores should my student should do perspective is: each week? My perspective is:

My reason(s) are: My reason(s) are:

I think my adult’s perspective is: I think my student’s perspective is:

I think my adult’s reason(s) are: I think my student’s reason(s) are:

Were you right about each other’s perspective?

What did you learn about the other person’s perspective?

This homework assignment was completed on | (DATE) (ADULT SIGNATURE)

1.Directions Complete the handout by yourself. Then, follow your teacher’s directions to get into two circles. 2. Ask the person facing you one question from the handout. If his or her answer is the same as yours, put an “X” in the box. If the answer is different, do nothing. 3. When the teacher signals, if you are in the outside circle, move toward the right to the next person, ask any one question that does not have an X, and repeat. 4. When you get three Xs in a row (vertically, horizontally, or diagonally), shout “The same!” 5. As time allows, continue until you have Xs for all the questions.

What is your How many siblings Do you speak favorite food? do you have? another language?

Where were Do you have What is your you born? any pets? favorite sport?

Do you play Are you from a What is your a musical different state favorite hobby? instrument? or country?

1.Directions With your partner, read the scenarios below and choose one to practice. 2. Decide who will be Character A and who will be Character B. 3. Stand up and practice disagreeing respectfully with your partner. Follow the suggestions on the checklist. 4. After practicing, put a check by the skills your partner did well. 5. Remember: You do not need to solve the disagreement. You can agree to disagree.

Scenarios

CharacterRules A: ofYou thinkthe the rulegame of a game is that you can only hold the ball for ten seconds before you throw. Character B: You think the rule of the game is that you can hold the ball as long as you want before you throw.

CharacterLunchtime A: You are having lunch with Character B. You want to invite your little brother to sit with you. Character B: You are having lunch with Character A. You do not want Character A’s little brother to sit at your table.

Skills for Disagreeing Respectfully Checklist Assertiveness Skills Yes Face the person you’re talking to n Keep your head up and shoulders back n Use a calm, firm voice n Use respectful words n

Listening with Attention Skills Yes Focus on the person’s words n Don’t interrupt n Ask questions to find out more n Repeat what you heard to show you understand n

1.Directions Read each scenario. 2. Write your responses in the spaces below each scenario.

Scenarios

Lunchtime It’s lunchtime. A girl in your class goes to her backpack to get her lunch but realizes she left it at home. She is very upset. What is one compassionate thing you could say? What is one compassionate thing you could do?

Say:

Do:

Freeze tag You are playing freeze tag at recess. The person chasing you trips and skins both knees. You don’t want to stop playing, but you can see the other person is hurt and embarrassed. What is one compassionate thing you could say? What is one compassionate thing you could do?

Say:

Do:

The playground teacher The playground teacher yells at your friend for something he didn’t do. He tries to stand up for himself, but the teacher won’t listen. Your friend is frustrated and angry. What is one compassionate thing you could say? What is one compassionate thing you could do?

Say:

Do:

1.Directions On your own, come up with a stop signal for when you are feeling strong emotions and need to calm down. Write your signal in the space below. 2. With your partner, choose and act out one of the scenarios below, including saying your stop signal and naming your feeling.

My stop signal:

Scenarios

StudentThe 1 ballset aside one of the class balls to play with at recess. She is late leaving class. She sees Student 2 taking the ball.

Student 1: “Hey! Hey! That was my ball!” Student 2: “No it’s not! It doesn’t have your name on it!”

Student 1: “But I was saving it there!” Student 2: “There’s no saving! That’s the rule!”

Student 1: Say your stop signal, then name your feeling. Student 2: Say your stop signal, then name your feeling.

It’sThe Student kickball 1’s turn to be captain captain of the kickball team at recess. But Student 2 says it’s his turn.

Student 1: “It’s my turn to be captain!” Student 2: “We didn’t finish yesterday’s game, and I was captain yesterday, so I should be captain again today!”

Student 1: “That’s not fair!” Student 2: “Yes it is!”

Student 1: Say your stop signal, then name your feeling. Student 2: Say your stop signal, then name your feeling.

ItFree is free reading reading time in class. time Student 1 has been choosing the same reading book off the back shelf all week. Today, Student 2 takes the book before Student 1 has a chance to get to it.

Student 1: “Hey! That’s the book I’m reading!” Student 2: “Not today! You’ve had it all week. I want a turn.”

Student 1: “But I was right in the middle of it! You can’t just take it away!” Student 2: “You need to share. Go get another book!”

Student 1: Say your stop signal, then name your feeling. Student 2: Say your stop signal, then name your feeling.

1.Directions Read the scenarios below and choose one of them to illustrate. 2. Create your own cartoon strip showing how you can calm down in the scenario you chose. Draw pictures and add words to the boxes below each Calming-Down Step.

1.Scenarios Your good friend just told you that two other friends don’t like you anymore. They didn’t say why. 2. Your younger brother colored all over your favorite book. Now you can barely read the words on most of the pages.

1. Stop—use your signal. 2. Name your feeling.

3a. Calm down: Breathe. Count. 3b. Calm down: Use positive self-talk.

AnswerDirections the questions below.

What can make you feel anxious?

What are some ways your body tells you that you’re feeling anxious?

1.Directions Read the scenarios. 2. Write at least one positive self-talk statement below each scenario. 3. Try creating your own scenario and writing one positive self-talk statement for it.

Scenarios

YourReading teacher calls onout you to loudread a paragraph from your book out loud to the class. You don’t like to read out loud. You think your voice sounds funny. You feel anxious about making a mistake. What are some things you can say to yourself to calm down?

YouThe get ahaircut haircut that you think is too short. You don’t want to go to school the next day because you are anxious about other kids making fun of you. What are some things you can say to yourself to calm down?

YourFriends best friend has started hanging out more with another friend. They recently watched a movie together and didn’t invite you. You feel anxious about losing your best friend. What are some things you can say to yourself to calm down?

TomorrowSports is SportsDay Day. You’re assigned to a relay team with people who are all faster runners than you. You are anxious about losing the race for the team and having your teammates get mad at you. What are some things you can say to yourself to calm down?

Your own scenario

What are some things you can say to yourself to calm down?

AnswerDirections the questions below.

During the activity you just completed with your classmates, how frustrated did you get? Check the answer below that fits best. Not frustrated at all A little frustrated Frustrated Very frustrated

Which of the following did you do to handle your frustration? Check all that apply. Deep, centered breathing Counting Using positive self-talk

If you used positive self-talk, what did you say to yourself?

Which of the Calming-Down Steps or Strategies we practice in class are most useful to you?

Describe an activity or situation you find frustrating and what you can do to calm down.

1.Directions Decide who will be Partner A and who will be Partner B. If you are Partner A, read the first scenario. 2. Together, discuss and write answers for the two questions following the first scenario. 3. If you are Partner B, imagine yourself in that situation. Practice walking away and calming down. 4. Switch places and repeat the directions above for the second scenario. 5. If there is time, write and practice your own scenario.

Scenarios

YouThe are walkinglunch past a trayclassmate while holding your lunch tray. You accidentally brush up against her. She doesn’t like it, and she turns around and knocks your lunch out of your hands. You are furious. You start thinking negative things to yourself: “I can’t believe she did that. She’s so mean. I’m going to get her back.” You feel like taking her lunch and throwing it on the floor. Instead, you decide you need to calm down.

What Calming-Down Steps could you use?

What positive self-talk could you use to help you calm down?

YouThe told asecret friend something really personal about your family. You told your friend it was a secret. You find out that your friend told your secret to half the class. You feel embarrassed and betrayed. You start thinking negative things to yourself: “What a jerk! He’s always doing things like that! I’ll show him!” You feel like telling a secret about him to everyone you know. You feel like screaming in his face. Instead, you decide you need to calm down.

What Calming-Down Steps could you use?

What positive self-talk could you use to help you calm down?

Your own scenario

What Calming-Down Steps could you use?

What positive self-talk could you use to help you calm down?

1.Directions Decide who will be Partner A and who will be Partner B. If you are Partner A, read the first scenario out loud. 2. Partner A listens as Partner B practices a Way to Calm Down and an assertive statement in response to the scenario. 3. Switch parts and repeat the directions above for the next scenario. 4. If there is time, write your own scenario and repeat the directions above with your partner.

Scenarios

YouThe just gothaircut your hair cut. It’s a little short, but you still like it. During recess, you hear a classmate making insulting comments about your new haircut. 1. Choose and practice one or more of the following Ways to Calm Down: n Breathe n Count n Use positive self-talk 2. Choose one of the following statements and practice doing or saying it with your partner: Ignore the comments and turn away. Say, “Stop it. I don’t like that.” Say, “That’s your opinion. I like my haircut.” Say a different assertive comment:

YouThe studied test really hard for a math test. When you took the test, you raced through it. When you got the test back, you realized you made several careless mistakes. A classmate is making fun of you for not doing well on the test. 1. Choose and practice one or of the following Ways to Calm Down: n Breathe n Count n Use positive self-talk 2. Choose one of the following statements and practice doing or saying it with your partner: Ignore the comment and turn away. Say, “Stop it. I don’t like that.” Say, “I made some mistakes. So what?” Say a different assertive comment:

Your own scenario

1. Choose and practice one or of the following Ways to Calm Down: n Breathe n Count n Use positive self-talk 2. Choose one of the following statements and practice doing or saying it with your partner: Ignore the comment and turn away. Say, “Stop it. I don’t like that.” Say a different assertive comment:

1.Directions Read the scenarios with your partner. 2. With your partner, write one positive self-talk statement the person could say to calm down. 3. Write one question the person could ask to get more information. 4. After completing a scenario, practice taking three deep breaths and repeating the positive self-talk statement for that person. 5. If there is time, write and practice your own scenario.

Scenarios

TerrellThe just new got a new coat coat. As he walks by a group of kids in the hallway, they start laughing. Terrell assumes they are laughing at him. Terrell feels embarrassed, then angry. He takes three deep breaths. Terrell then thinks to himself:

Terrell could ask:

GabriellaThe sleepoveroverhears three of her friends planning a sleepover. She assumes they are deliberately leaving her out. Gabriella feels upset. She takes three deep breaths. Gabriella then thinks to herself:

Gabriella could ask:

SebastianThe soccer is playing soccer ball at recess with a group of kids. The ball goes out of bounds. A player from the other team throws the ball back in and hits Sebastian on the head. Sebastian assumes the other player threw the ball at his head on purpose. He feels angry. Sebastian takes three deep breaths. Sebastian then thinks to himself:

Sebastian could ask:

Your own scenario

then thinks to him- or herself:

could ask:

1.Directions With your partner, read each scenario and pair of blaming statements below. 2. Together, describe the problem in a statement that doesn’t blame either person. 3. Take turns reading each non-blaming statement out loud to your partner. 4. If you have time, write and practice your own scenario and non-blaming problem statement.

Scenarios

There’sThe onecamera camera in the class that all students can use. Student 1: “It’s my turn to use the camera. You’re always going over your time with it!” Student 2: “You’re always bugging me! I’m almost done with this project.”

S: Say the problem without blame:

TwoThe students cookie are late getting to lunch. By the time they get to the front of the line, there’s only one cookie left, and Student 2 takes it. Student 1: “Hey! Give me that cookie! You’re always grabbing things from people!” Student 2: “I didn’t grab it! I got it first. You’re always accusing me of things I don’t do.”

S: Say the problem without blame:

TwoThe students science are doing a scienceexperiment experiment. Student 2 is pouring liquid into a beaker. Student 1: “You never let me do any of the fun stuff!” Student 2: “That’s because you never pay attention to the directions!”

S: Say the problem without blame:

Your own scenario

Student 1:

Student 2:

S: Say the problem without blame:

1.Directions Select one scenario and non-blaming problem statement from Handout 16. Write the name of the scenario and your problem statement below. 2. With your partner, write three possible solutions for the problem. 3. Write possible consequences for each solution. Remember to think of positive and negative consequences. 4. Pick the solution you think is best and write it in the space below.

Say the Problem Without Blame:

Think of Solutions: Think of Solutions: Think of Solutions: Solution 1 Solution 2 Solution 3

Explore Explore Explore Consequences: Consequences: Consequences: + + +

- - -

Pick the Best Solution:

Problem: The dog is hungry. Solution: Give the dog a bone.

WriteDirections a three-step plan that the dog could follow (if he could read!) for how to get to the bone shown on the map below.

Steps to Get to the Bone

1.Directions Read the scenarios and select one. 2. Write a three-step plan to carry out the solution. 3. Trade papers with your partner and read your partner’s plan. 4. Use the checklist to see if each plan works. 5. If there is time, write your own scenario and repeat the directions.

Scenarios

Problem:Homework You have forgotten to turn in your homework twice this week. Your teacher won’t let you turn in late work. Solution: You need to remember to turn in your homework every day.

Plan for getting homework in every day: 1.

Problem:The rumor A friend tells you a rumor about a new kid at school. Solution: You know it’s just a rumor. You decide to ignore it and make friends with the new kid.

Plan for making friends with the new kid: 1.

Your own scenario

Homework The rumor Your own scenario Checklist for Making a Plan Yes Yes Yes The order makes sense. n n n There is enough time to do it. n n n It’s not too complicated. n n n It’s realistic, and you’re able to do it. n n n

1.Directions Think about a problem you’ve had in the past or one you have now that you need help with. This problem might involve school, friends, family, sports, or another activity. It should be a problem that you tried to solve on your own, but couldn’t. 2. Write a short description of your problem. 3. Write a short statement about what you need help with.

My problem is:

I need help with:

Can you help me?

1.Directions With your partner, read each scenario below and select the one you want to practice. 2. Go through each of the Problem-Solving Steps on the back of this handout for the scenario you selected and write your responses in the spaces provided.

Scenarios

YouThe have note to go to the office and deliver a note from your teacher to the vice-principal. Someone sees you going in there, and now everyone is saying that you are in big trouble.

DaltonThe isnew a new boyboy in school. At recess, Julian and some of his friends told you that Dalton was kicked out of his other school. You don’t know what to do because you are just getting to know Dalton. You’re unsure whether or not to believe what Julian and his friends told you about Dalton.

The scenario we chose:

Say the Problem Without Blame:

Think of Solutions: Think of Solutions: Think of Solutions: Solution 1 Solution 2 Solution 3

Explore Explore Explore Consequences: Consequences: Consequences: + + +

- - -

Pick the Best Solution:

1.Directions Write an outline for a true or fictional story about a time when you were pressured by peers to do something that wasn’t safe or respectful or that you knew was wrong. 2. Use the Problem-Solving Steps on the back of this handout to solve the peer-pressure problem. 3. Turn to your partner and practice saying no assertively about something in your peer-pressure story.

Outline of Your Story 1. Where did it happen?

2. Was anyone being pressured with you? Who?

3. Who was doing the pressuring?

4. What were they pressuring you about?

1.Directions Read the following Second Step Skills and Concepts Checklist. 2. As you see skills being used in the video, check them off.

Second Step Skills and Concepts Checklist Skills and Concepts Yes Empathy Feeling or understanding what someone else is feeling. Having empathy helps you respond respectfully and/or in a caring n way to others. Respect Treating others the way you want to be treated n

Skills for Learning • Listening with attention n • Being assertive

How to Calm Down Stop—use your stop signal. Name your feeling. Calm down: n • Breathe • Count • Use positive self-talk

Avoiding Assumptions n

Problem Solving S: Say the problem (without blame). T: Think of solutions (safe and respectful). n E: Explore consequences (what could happen?). P: Pick the best solution (make a plan).

Making a Plan n

Directions 1. With your partner, write and act out a script for a story about a problem between two people and how they solve it using some of the Second Step skills (use the checklist on Side 1 as needed). 2. Have your characters use the T, E, and P steps to solve their problem.

Script Say the problem without blame:

Think of solutions and Explore consequences Think of at least two solutions and briefly explore the consequences of each.

Character 1:

Character 2:

Character 1:

Character 2:

Character 1:

Character 2:

Pick the best solution Have the characters pick the solution they want to try first.

Character 1:

Character 2: