DNR REP should wear a business suit or plaid pants, hat, tie, clipboard and briefcase. MOTHER wears an apron. KING, YOUNG QUEEN and EVIL QUEEN wear crowns and royal garb. SNOW WHITE and YOUNG SNOW WHITE wear a typical fairy-tale costume, such as an elegant dress or gown. LADIES IN WAITING wear dresses and carry hand mirrors. MIRROR wears a shiny costume and carries a large, oval mirror frame. If a full-length mirror frame is used as a set piece, the actor playing the MIRROR simply enters and takes his place behind the frame. He can move about freely as desired. SEVEN DWARVES and DWARF VILLAGERS have big feet and ears. Book by Barbara Lennon COMBAT HERO, ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and their MEN wear Music by Bill Francoeur camouflage or some other type of army garb. Lyrics by Bill Francoeur and Barbara Lennon DOCTOR wears scrubs, a dangling face mask and a stethoscope. HUNTSMAN is a Grizzly Adams-type in a big coat and beard. He carries a bow and arrow. © Copyright 2010, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc. DEVIL HUNTSMAN should dress like HUNTSMAN but with devil ears and tail. He should also carry a pitchfork. Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should ANGEL HUNTSMAN should dress like HUNTSMAN but with angel wings, be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155. white robe and a halo. RIBBON PEDDLER should wear tattered clothing. All rights to this musical—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign COMB PEDDLER should be well dressed and wear a dress or gown. languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission FRUIT PEDDLER should dress plainly. no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given. ANIMALS dress as a variety of animals, such as a bird, sheep, rabbit, These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America wild pig, bats, etc. and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and FLOWERS and TREES need visible faces and flexible arms with the all nations of the United Kingdom. ability to grab. APPLE could be a small child wearing an apple costume. Alternatively, ONE SCRIPT PER CAST MEMBER MUST BE PURCHASED FOR PRODUCTION RIGHTS. an oversized apple prop could be used. COPYING OR DISTRIBUTING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK WITHOUT PERMISSION IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. SOUND EFFECTS On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear: Wind, owl hoot, wolf howling, creaking branches, mysterious forest 1. The full name of the musical sounds, voices speaking to Snow White in the forest. 2. The full name of the playwright, the composer, and the lyricist 3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with LIGHTING Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Denver, Colorado” Dimmed lights, dark blue light and spotlight.

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1 ZIP: Let’s cut the strings instead! (Mimes cutting and the scarf is 1 JOSH: Red as blood?! Cooooool! loosened and comes off. SNOW WHITE sits up breathing.) PEGGY SUE: You are so immature. SNOW WHITE: Oh, what has happened? MOTHER: Would you two listen?! (Continues reading.) “Soon after that, KIP: You have fallen victim to the evil queen. she had a little daughter…” (LIGHTS SHIFT to KING, standing alone.) 5 SNOW WHITE: But I didn’t see her, only an old peddler woman. 5 DOCTOR: (ENTERS UP RIGHT with a baby in his arms.) It’s a girl! TIP: That was her, no doubt, in disguise. Congratulations. (Gives baby to KING.) This should be a joyous PIP: Thank goodness we arrived in time! (BLACKOUT.) day, but… (Dramatic pause; to AUDIENCE.) I have bad news, sire. End of Scene Three KING: Bad news? What is it? DOCTOR: I’m sorry, your majesty. But the queen… (Dramatic pause; ACT TWO 10 to AUDIENCE.) …has died. Scene Four KING: What?! No, it can’t be! Why didn’t you save her? LIGHTS UP: On the QUEEN in her workroom, DOWN LEFT. The DOCTOR: Darn it, your majesty! I’m just a country doctor. I’m not a workbench now conceals COMB PEDDLER. BATS and MIRROR are in magician. 10 workroom. KING: Nooooo!! (Falls to his knees.) Alas and alack! My beloved wife MIRROR: You didn’t expect to get away with it that easily, did you? 15 lost! (Gets back on feet.) But here is my beautiful daughter, with QUEEN: Yes! Well, no. Well, oh, I don’t know! She fell for it easily skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as enough. How was I to know those meddling dwarves would know ebony. I shall name her Snow White to remind me of my wife’s how to remove the spell? wish. (BLACKOUT. Rocking chair is removed.) 15 MIRROR: Corset ribbons are so obvious! She wasn’t breathing. Of End of Scene One course they were going to loosen them. ACT ONE QUEEN: Hey! Don’t get smart with me, Mirror, or I’ll break you into a thousand pieces! Scene Two MIRROR: That’s seven years bad luck, you know. I’m just trying to LIGHTS UP: On MOTHER, JOSH and PEGGY SUE, who are still sitting 20 on the floor DOWN RIGHT. 20 help! QUEEN: Well then, be helpful and not so critical. Now here I am, back MOTHER: (Continues reading.) “After some time, the king took at the drawing board. himself another wife. She was a beautiful woman, but she was proud and arrogant, and she could not stand it if anyone might MIRROR: Hey! How about those poison combs you used a while surpass her in beauty. She had a magic mirror… ” (LIGHTS SHIFT back? They worked pretty well. 25 to the castle room again, revealing an empty room with MIRROR 25 QUEEN: Yes! Yes, the combs! Wonderful. Oh, I’m so smart. (Brings up [an ACTOR dressed in silver who stands behind or holds up a mirror the basket of combs.) frame], covered by a blanket, UPSTAGE. [NOTE: MOTHER and KIDS MIRROR: You’re so smart? I’m the one… (Trails off as QUEEN glares may EXIT DOWN RIGHT in darkness if desired or they can remain at him.) ONSTAGE and join in any songs throughout the play at the director’s QUEEN: No girl can resist brushing her hair with a lovely comb. I shall 30 discretion.]) 30 present her with such that she cannot resist, and that will be the EVIL QUEEN: (ENTERS UP LEFT, walks over and uncovers MIRROR. She end of our pretty little Snow White! Hah! (Claps her hands. MUSIC poses a few times.) Hello, Mirror! What wonderful things do you CUE 8c: “A Pinch of This—Reprise.” Speaks.) But first to disguise have to share with me today? (Clears throat.) myself. Hmmm, the right spell is needed. (Flips pages in the big Mirror, mirror, on the wall, spell book. She begins to mix ingredients. Sings.) 35 Who in this land is fairest of all? (Waits expectantly.) 35 A pinch of this, a pinch of that… MIRROR: You, my queen, are the fairest of all. (QUEEN breaks into a An ear of dog , a toe of bat… huge smile and EXITS UP LEFT. MOUSE ENTERS with time sign that A squishy bug from where I sat! reads “SIX YEARS LATER…” LADIES-IN-WAITING ENTER UP LEFT

28 5 THE ROCKIN’ TALE OF SNOW WHITE Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) Basket of combs (COMB PEDDLER) Book by BARBARA LENNON • Music by BILL FRANCOEUR Lyrics by BILL FRANCOEUR AND BARBARA LENNON BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Six Workbench containing the following: tin cup, various shaped CAST OF CHARACTERS glasses with stuff in them, little tins or canisters, rubber spiders, rubber lizard, jar of apple sauce, big old spell book, FRAME STORY CHARACTERS big bottle with a skull and crossbones on it of lines Mirror frame (MIRROR) PEGGY SUE ...... 10-year-old big sister of Josh 24 Fruit cart (FRUIT PEDDLER) JOSH ...... typical 8-year-old 24 Huge kettle (can be a basket with papered sides or an empty trash can), small apple (EVIL QUEEN) MOTHER ...... a June Cleaver-type mom 20 Time signs [Six years later, many years later, two hours later, four hours later, six hours later] (MICE) PRINCIPAL STORY CHARACTERS SNOW WHITE ...... pretty and kind; speaks very 36 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Seven: sweetly and moves very lightly Glass coffin with large apple core hidden behind it Flowers, white veil (CAST MEMBERS) EVIL QUEEN ...... very beautiful, cold and spoiled; 31 Chains (MEN) strident and commanding MEREDITH ...... lady-in-waiting to the queen 5 THE GLASS COFFIN AND THE WORKBENCH MARTHA ...... another 6 In the original production, the glass coffin was made out of clear MARY ...... another 5 plastic in a wood frame. It was decorated with beautiful designs and MOLLY ...... another 5 draped with flowers. If constructing a glass coffin is not within your budget or expertise, a simple frame can be used and the glass can be MAUREEN ...... another 5 imaginary. For a completely bare bones set, SNOW WHITE can simply JUDY ...... another 7 lay on a rectangular table, and the AUDIENCE can use its imagination. MIRROR...... shiny person who has a 17 The workbench should be tall and wide enough so that each PEDDLER, jaded outlook on the world then the QUEEN, can hide inside of it for Scenes Four through Six in HUNTSMAN ...... burly kind of guy with a big heart 26 ACT TWO. If the workbench is on casters, the PEDDLERS may be rolled ZIP ...... one of the seven dwarves; a 17 on already inside the bench, and the QUEEN can be rolled off. If this good guy with big feet and ears is not an option, PEDDLERS simply enter in darkness and take their KIP ...... another 18 place inside the bench. When QUEEN ducks down, they switch places and QUEEN is rolled off in the bench or exits in darkness when the TIP ...... another 18 scene is over. PIP ...... another 16 The flats can double as backdrop for multiple scenes, so they can be FLIP...... another 15 painted on one side with stones and on the other with a forest. If a CHIP...... another 15 brace is added to the back of the flat, the flats can be laid lengthwise BIG MIKE ...... the smallest dwarf, but has 15 on the stage with the stone side facing downstage to create the village the biggest voice walls. DNR REP ...... dorky government official from 19 the Department of Natural COSTUMES Resources In general, principal characters and ensemble should wear typical fairy-tale, medieval apparel. Frame characters should dress in normal contemporary clothing.

ii 39 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only

1 and RIGHT carrying hand mirrors. They move to CENTER as MOUSE 1 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. EXITS UP RIGHT.) HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) You’re kidding, right? MEREDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, a limerick for your enjoyment. DNR REP: (Speaks.) ’Fraid not, sir. Now, if you’d come with me. MARTHA: There once was a queen so vain, HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) But I didn’t know they were protected. 5 MARY: Her mirror could not call her plain. 5 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ignorance is not an excuse, sir! It’s people like you MOLLY: If he didn’t say… that give me job security. MAUREEN: …you’re beautiful today… (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) Have you hugged a tree JUDY: …her anger would cause him great pain! (ALL LADIES laugh.) today?! (Leads confused HEAD VILLAGER OFF RIGHT. MUSIC OUT MEREDITH: But wait! We have more! (LADIES pair up and dance and 10 as RIBBON PEDDLER ENTERS UP LEFT.) 10 move through the recitation of this poem.) RIBBON PEDDLER: (Hawking her wares, calls out.) Pretty things! Pretty MARTHA: Our wit you’ll adore. things! Pretty things for pretty girls. (Pretends to bump into SNOW MARY: So give us your full attention. WHITE, who’s been shopping around the stage.) Why, my child! You MOLLY: Just lend us an ear, certainly are pretty. Would you like to look at my pretty things? 15 (Shows her the corset. [This can be a long, wide scarf with ribbons MAUREEN: But have no fear… and flowers sewn on.]) The lovely flowers on the strings of this corset 15 JUDY: …your problems we will not mention. seem just the right thing for your skin. Would you like to try it on? MEREDITH: When I look in the mirror I am happy to see… SNOW WHITE: Oh, thank you, but I simply couldn’t. MARTHA: …that no one is nearly as pretty as me! (ALL LADIES titter RIBBON PEDDLER: Oh, why not? Just for fun? It won’t kill you. (As an with laughter.) 20 aside to the AUDIENCE.) That’s what she thinks. Ha ha. MARY: As a lady-in-waiting I am lucky to wear… SNOW WHITE: It is awfully pretty. Maybe just for a minute. 20 MOLLY: …the latest in fashion and stylish hair. RIBBON PEDDLER: (Helps wrap the scarf around SNOW WHITE.) There, MAUREEN: A look in the mirror reveals what is true… see for yourself. Look into my mirror and see how lovely you are. JUDY: …that I am so much better looking than you. (Starts to pull the scarf very tight.) ALL LADIES: (Titter with laughter.) We’re pretty and lovely, so charming, 25 SNOW WHITE: Oh, it’s lovely! But, oh, why do I suddenly feel so faint? you see, and we are the envy of all we see. (MUSIC CUE 2: “Ladies- I can’t breathe. I… can’t… (To RIBBON PEDDLER.) Help… me… (Falls to the ground.) 25 in-Waiting.” Sing.) We are the ladies, ladies-in-waiting. We represent the finest in the land. RIBBON PEDDLER: Ha ha! I have won! (EXITS LEFT while VILLAGERS We’re cute! We’re hot! It’s so humiliating, gather around SNOW WHITE.) Waiting on the queen with this stupid mirror in my hand. 30 VILLAGER 1: Oh, look at Snow White! Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! VILLAGER 2: What has happened?! 30 Every day we wait, wait! VILLAGER 3: (To the ANIMALS.) Quick, go fetch the seven! Tell them Every night we tuck her in, there is trouble for Snow White! (ANIMALS EXIT UP LEFT.) Wake up again and… VILLAGER 4: She’s barely breathing. (DWARVES and more ANIMALS LADIES ONE: (Sing as melody with LADIES TWO singing backup vocals.) 35 come running ON UP LEFT.) We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. ZIP: What is it? 35 It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. KIP: Trouble with Snow White? Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game! TIP: (Rushes to SNOW WHITE’S side.) Oh, dear! Is she dead? LADIES TWO: (Sing backup vocals to LADIES ONE’S melody.) PIP: She’s barely breathing! Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! 40 FLIP: Quick! Loosen this corset! Untie the ribbons! 40 Every day we wait, wait! CHIP: I can’t. It’s as if it won’t let go!! Every night we wait, wait! BIG MIKE: Ah-hah! Evil magic from the queen, no doubt. 6 27 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT Fabric, needle, thread (YOUNG QUEEN) ENSEMBLE Doll wrapped in blanket, stethoscope (DOCTOR) PRINCE CHARMING ...... tall, suave, handsome and heroic 4 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Two: PRINCE CHARMING’S MEN...... as many as desired 2 Blanket covering (MIRROR) COMBAT HERO Hand mirrors (LADIES IN WAITING) SOLDIER PRINCE ...... handsome, heroic and macho; 4 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Three: wears camouflage or army garb Handkerchief box (MARTHA) COMBAT HERO Bow and arrow (HUNTSMAN) SOLDIER PRINCE’S MEN ...... as many as desired 2 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Four: ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE ...... combination of Prince Charming 9 Bouquet of flowers (SNOW WHITE) and the Combat Hero—handsome, Bow and arrow, handkerchief box (HUNTSMAN) heroic and macho with army garb Clipboard, briefcase (DNR REP) ROMANTIC HERO BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Six: PRINCE’S MEN ...... as many as desired 4 Lanterns, tools [buckets, brooms, hammers, blocks of wood, etc.] (SEVEN DWARVES) YOUNG QUEEN ...... Snow White’s mother; sweet, 4 pretty and calm BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Seven: Hand mirrors (LADIES IN WAITING) KING ...... older than the queen; very serious 9 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene One: DOCTOR ...... wears scrubs, dangling face 3 Milk and snack (KIDS) mask and stethoscope Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF DEVIL ...... same as the Huntsman, but with 11 VILLAGERS) red horns, tail and pitchfork Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) ANGEL ...... same as the Huntsman, but with 9 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Two: wings and a halo Workbench (big enough for someone to hide behind) containing LITTLE BIRD ...... seeks to warn Snow White of her 3 the following: tin cup, various shaped glasses with stuff in impending death them, little tins or canisters, rubber spiders, rubber lizard, DWARF VILLAGERS ...... very animated, bouncy and 22 store receipt, big old spell book (old phone book with a fake dorky with big ears and big feet; cover would work.), basket with corset (scarf with ribbons) at least four; as many as desired BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Three: HEAD VILLAGER ...... tallest dwarf; sells flowers 10 Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF RIBBON PEDDLER ...... ugly, haggish old woman 4 VILLAGERS) Clipboard, briefcase (DNR REP) COMB PEDDLER ...... evil, pretty, young and charming 3 Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) FRUIT PEDDLER ...... evil, tall, normal-looking man 4 Corset with ribbons, hand mirror (RIBBON PEDDLER) Pocketknife or scissors (ZIP) NON-SPEAKING ROLES BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Four: YOUNG SNOW WHITE ...... about age seven Workbench containing the following: tin cup, various shaped SHEEP* ...... cute and little; follow Snow White glasses with stuff in them, little tins or canisters, rubber WILD PIG ...... panicked at the thought of the spiders, rubber lizard, hair brushes and scrunchies, hairspray, Hunstman running him down big old spell book, basket of combs WOODLAND ANIMALS 1-4 ...... such as bears, foxes, rabbits, BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Five: squirrels, bunnies, birds, deer, Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF VILLAGERS) chipmunks, wolves, bees, etc.

38 iii RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only

1 ALL: (Speak.) And together we are the seven dwarves. 1 LADIES TWO: (Sing as melody with LADIES ONE singing backup vocals.) ZIP: (Speaks.) See— We got the hair. We got the looks. We could be in all the glamour books. KIP: (Speaks.) —you— The woman ain’t got nothin’ on us. TIP: (Speaks.) —real— 5 So why the drama, why the fuss? 5 PIP: (Speaks.) —soon! LADIES ONE: (Sing backup vocals to LADIES TWO’S melody.) FLIP: (Speaks.) Have— Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! CHIP: (Speaks.) —a— Every day we wait, wait! BIG MIKE: (Speaks.) —great day!! (DWARVES march OFF UP LEFT. Every night we wait, wait! MUSIC OUT. SNOW WHITE waves good-bye, turns and starts 10 ALL LADIES: (Sing.) Bewitching and bedazzling, 10 shopping. Scene’s focus turns to DNR REP, who ENTERS LEFT and The boys all fall at our feet. starts poking around the dwarf village. He spies HEAD VILLAGER, We’ve got the zoom, we’ve got the zing! who is selling flowers from his cart. MUSIC CUE 8b: “Natural A cute little dolly, sugar sweet! Resource Man Jingle—Reprise.”) Drop dead gorgeous head to feet! DNR REP: (Speaks.) Excuse me, but may I take a closer look at your 15 We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. 15 flowers? It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Be my guest. Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game. DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ah-ha! Just as I expected. You are selling the showy lady slipper (or insert state flower here). This is a flower Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! rarely seen in the wild and is now federally protected. This is an 20 Every day we wait, wait! Every night we tuck her in, 20 illegal activity. Wake up again and… HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Who are you? Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! DNR REP: (Speaks.) I’m Mel Merman, representative for the Every day we wait, wait! Department of Natural Resources… (To AUDIENCE.) …otherwise 25 Every night we tuck her in, known as the D-N-R. Wake up again and wait! 25 HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) You’re who? From the department of Wait, wait! (MUSIC OUT. LADIES stop as the QUEEN RE-ENTERS UP what?! LEFT.) DNR REP: (Speaks.) Mel Merman is my name. Natural resources are JUDY: (Goes DOWN CENTER, leans toward the AUDIENCE and whispers my game! (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. 30 loudly.) The queen is a beauty, I’m yer natural resource man! (TO AUDIENCE. Speaks.) Yes, folks, But make no mistake, 30 once again, it’s all about natural resource protection. This beautiful Her heart is just rotten, and delicate plant became the state flower of(Insert state name Her stare makes you quake. (The REST of the LADIES and the and information about the flower here.) Minnesota in 1902, and QUEEN join JUDY at CENTER.) it became protected by state law in 1925. It is illegal to pick or 35 MOTHER’S VOICE: (From DOWN RIGHT or OFFSTAGE. Reads as YOUNG uproot a showy lady slipper flower in Minnesota. This rare plant SNOW WHITE ENTERS LEFT and frolics across the scene, followed 35 has vanished from much of its historical range due to habitat loss. by her herd of pet SHEEP.) “Snow White grew up and became ever (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. more beautiful.” (YOUNG SNOW WHITE and SHEEP cross the stage I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) So now you know, sir. You and EXIT RIGHT. The LADIES titter and coo. QUEEN watches her are participating in an illegal activity. 40 walk past, rather disinterested.) “When she was seven years old, HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Illegal? she was already as beautiful as the light of day.” (QUEEN crosses 40 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. to RIGHT. MOUSE ENTERS with time sign that reads, “MANY YEARS HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) In this village? LATER…” then EXITS.) “Her beauty continued to grow until one day she was even more beautiful than the queen herself…” (OLDER 26 7 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT FOREST TREES...... have limbs that grab at Snow White 1 We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. FOREST FLOWERS ...... colorful, with green bodies Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic BATS ...... for queen’s “spell” scenes over hill and dale. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little MICE ...... mark the passage of time with signs 5 rockin’ tale! APPLE ...... small actor or actress pulled from Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ queen’s large cauldron (this could tale! (ACTORS begin stepping forward for BOWS.) also be a large prop.) We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nailbitin’ mystery. *NOTE: Sheep have been incorporated into this play because the We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. costumes exist at the school where the original production took place 10 Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic and can be reused every year. Feel free to substitute other more over hill and dale. foresty animals if you desire. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! SET DESCRIPTION Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little There are several locations in this play—a living room, a castle room, 15 rockin’ tale! a forest, the dwarves’ house, the dwarf village and the queen’s (ENSEMBLE takes one final GROUP BOW. GUYS bow from the waist, workroom—all of which can be represented simply. Several locations GIRLS curtsey. LIGHTS FADE to BLACK, FINAL CURTAIN or DIRECT will appear onstage simultaneously for ease of production. There is SEGUE into MUSIC CUE 9b: “Optional Choral Finale/Exit Music,” in a living room DOWN RIGHT which consists of a bookshelf, optional which case LIGHTS DIM.) chair and a rug. The castle room is on the MAIN STAGE, represented 20 Star bright, soon will be glimm’ring down. by a rocking chair, wall flats and a window. For later scenes, the Nighttime will soon be ‘round bringing its peace and quiet. dwarves’ house is on the MAIN STAGE with a small table and seven Treetops singing their lullaby, whisp’ring to you and I, small chairs along with a bed with seven small pillows. The forest can “There will be love and joy someday.” be represented by a bare stage with an optional backdrop of trees END OF PLAY and flowers. For the dwarf village scenes, the castle flats are turned around to become the village walls. For the queen’s workroom, a large workbench is rolled onstage along with a large kettle. A “glass coffin” is rolled on for the first and last scenes of the play. (See PRODUCTION PRODUCTION NOTES NOTES for details.) See set designs on page viii. PROPERTIES SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ONSTAGE: ACT ONE LIVING ROOM: Bookshelf with a few books, optional chair, rug Scene One: The living room, castle room and coffin display. CASTLE ROOM: Rocking chair (for scene one only), window (frame must be black), optional castle wall flats Scene Two: The living room and castle room. FOREST: Optional backdrop of trees and flowers Scene Three: The living room and castle room. DWARVES’ HOUSE: Tiny table set with seven place settings with Scene Four: The forest. tiny food on them, seven tiny chairs, bed with seven tiny Scene Five: A different part of the forest. pillows DWARF VILLAGE: Castle wall flats Scene Six: The dwarves’ house. QUEEN’S WORKROOM: Large workbench and kettle Scene Seven: The living room and castle room. BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene One: Glass coffin (CAST MEMBERS) Princess doll (PEGGY SUE) Soldier action figure (JOSH)

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1 SNOW WHITE ENTERS RIGHT, frolicking across the stage, followed 1 now to finish the task… (Grabs the basket with the corset [scarf] by her herd of pet SHEEP.) and ribbons and EXITS LEFT. BLACKOUT. [NOTE: Workroom set SHEEP: Snow White is so baaaaa-oootiful. (QUEEN does a double take pieces do not have to be removed from the stage until after ACT this time. SNOW WHITE and SHEEP EXIT LEFT.) TWO, Scene Six.]) 5 MEREDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, another limerick for your End of Scene Two enjoyment. ACT TWO MARTHA: There once was a girl named Snow White. Scene Three MARY: And she was a very pretty sight. 5 LIGHTS UP: On dwarf village on MAIN STAGE. VILLAGERS ENTER LEFT MOLLY: Her stepmother, the queen… and RIGHT and begin milling about doing their little dwarf village things 10 MAUREEN: …was really quite mean. again. Several ANIMALS, TREES and FLOWERS are scattered around JUDY: I think Snow White should take flight!( ALL LADIES smile and the stage. SNOW WHITE and SEVEN DWARVES ENTER UP RIGHT. titter again, but when the QUEEN scowls at them, they quickly scurry SNOW WHITE: All right! I hear you, but I’ll be fine! Really, I will. OFF UP RIGHT. QUEEN walks UPSTAGE to the MIRROR.) 10 ZIP: I know you think that, but you don’t know how crafty she can be! QUEEN: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, KIP: We only say this for your own protection. 15 Who in this land is fairest of all? (Waits expectantly.) TIP: And we ask this of our friends in the village, as well. MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair—it is true. But Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. PIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Please watch out for Snow White. QUEEN: What?! I… I… what did you say?! FLIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Keep a sharp eye out for the evil queen, coming 15 to do Snow White harm! MIRROR: Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. ALL VILLAGERS: We will. 20 QUEEN: What?! CHIP: Enjoy your day shopping, but when you are home alone, lock MIRROR: (Yells and speaks very slowly.) I said, Snow White is a the door! thousand— SNOW WHITE: She would never try anything in front of all of these QUEEN: I heard you the first time! 20 people! MIRROR: Well then, why did you ask again? BIG MIKE: Probably not, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful. 25 QUEEN: You’re lying! And just for that, I’m going to hit you with a SNOW WHITE: I promise. (MUSIC CUE 8a: “The Seven Dwarves’ Work hammer and break you into a thousand pieces! How would you Song—Reprise.”) like that? ZIP: (Speaks.) Well then, we’re off to work! MIRROR: Go ahead. It is impossible for me to lie to you, your majesty. You know that. I’m a mirror, for heaven’s sake. I can only reflect 25 SEVEN DWARVES: (Sing.) Get up in the morning, before the break of day. 30 what I see. So go ahead, wreck me. See if I ever talk to you again. Head into the mountains, dancin’ all the way. QUEEN: (Whines.) She is a child! There is no way she is prettier than All the day we’re workin’. Come home late at night. me. Workin’, workin’, workin’ till the sun is out of sight. MIRROR: Look, I call ’em like I see ’em. (QUEEN makes a sound of 30 We are the seven dwarves! anger and disgust and EXITS UP RIGHT. MUSIC CUE 3: “I’m Just a ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! 35 Mirror.” Raps to AUDIENCE.) Hey, look! I’m a mirror, and I can really see ya. KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! But check it out now, I wouldn’t wanna be ya. TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! She thinks she’s pretty, the best in the city. PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! She got no heart. She got no pity. 35 FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! 40 She the queen, a bad scene. CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! She the queen. The queen of mean! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! 8 25 1 QUEEN: (Looks at DNR REP, fairly confused.) What? (The chains start ACT TWO to work their magic, and the QUEEN starts to dance.) No! Scene One: The living room and dwarf village. DNR REP: Ma’am, you’ll have to come with me to answer some Scene Two: The queen’s workroom questions. Scene Three: The dwarf village. 5 MEREDITH: (To DNR REP.) Sir, may we have a moment before you Scene Four: The queen’s workroom. take the queen away? (DNR REP nods. To AUDIENCE.) Ladies and gentlemen, a final limerick. Scene Five: The dwarf village. MARTHA: There once was a queen so pale, Scene Six: The queen’s workroom. MARY: As the soldiers took her off to jail, Scene Seven: Coffin display. 10 MOLLY: We were happy to say… CHARACTERS IN EACH SCENE MAUREEN: …good-bye and good day. JUDY: And I don’t think she’ll ever make bail! ACT ONE ALL LADIES: (To QUEEN.) Bye-bye! (PRINCE’S MEN take QUEEN OFF as Scene One ...... Josh, Peggy Sue, Mother, Prince she dances, with the DNR REP following on her heels. EVERYONE Charming and Men, Combat Hero 15 FREEZES. MOTHER and KIDS step DOWNSTAGE. The KIDS sit at and Men, Young Queen, King, her feet.) Doctor, Snow White MOTHER: (Finishes the story.) And they all lived… Scene Two ...... Evil Queen, Mirror, Mother, Josh, KIDS: …happily ever after! (MUSIC CUE 9a: “Epilogue/Curtain Call.” Peggy Sue, Ladies-in-Waiting, Young BLACKOUT. ENSEMBLE UNFREEZES and again files across the Snow White, Older Snow White, 20 FRONT OF THE STAGE as in the top of the show. LIGHTS UP on the Sheep ENSEMBLE.) Scene Three ...... Evil Queen, Huntsman, Mother, ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Josh, Peggy Sue, Martha, Judy We got a tale, a magical, marvelous, song-filled serenade. Scene Four ...... Huntsman, Angel and Devil We got a tale, a fun-packed escapade. Huntsmen, DNR Rep, Snow 25 Yes, we’re gonna wail, singin’ and a shoutin’ and a dancin’ till my White, Little Bird, Wild Pig, Sheep, feet both fail. Woodland Animals, Flowers, Trees Yes, it’s Snow White’s, hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! Scene Five ...... Snow White, Woodland Animals, GIRLS: (PRINCE steps forward and shows off muscles. Sing.) Trees, Flowers 30 We got a prince, a muscle-bound, handsome, buff and studly Scene Six ...... Snow White, Seven Dwarves macho guy! Scene Seven...... Evil Queen, Mirror, Mother, Josh, GUYS: (SNOW WHITE steps forward, smiles and curtseys to AUDIENCE. Peggy Sue, Ladies-in-Waiting Sing.) We got a girl, a sugar and spice and-a everything nice little ACT TWO cutie pie! Scene One ...... Josh, Peggy Sue, Mother, Dwarf 35 ALL: (QUEEN steps forward and gives the audience the evil eye. Sing.) Villagers, Snow White, a few We got a queen, an evil-eyed, funkified, lean and mean total Woodland Animals, Tree, Flower wicked machine! Scene Two ...... Evil Queen, Ribbon Peddler, Bats DWARVES: (Step forward. Sing.) Scene Three ...... Snow White, Seven Dwarves, Ribbon And we got dwarves, feisty little dwarves. The rockinest you’ve Peddler, Dwarf Villagers, a few 40 ever seen! Woodland Animals, Trees, DNR Rep, ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Flowers We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nailbitin’ mystery.

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1 An ear of dog, a toe of bat, 1 She the queen, a drama queen. A squishy bug from where I sat. She the queen, oh, yeah, the queen of mean! Mix ’em all together! (Turning another page, speaks.) Hmmm, let’s And now there’s another who’s beauty is above ‘er. see what else this recipe calls for. And she just can’t stand that she’s her stepmother. 5 (Sings.) A pinch of this, a pinch of that, 5 Snow White’s a beauty, A spider leg, a tail of rat, I’ve done my duty by tellin’ the truth. A hairball from an old black cat, The queen thinks she’s sweet, but she ain’t no Baby Ruth. Mix ’em all together! (Stirring the mixture, speaks.) Awww, it’s lookin’ good. (Sticks her finger in the concoction and takes a taste.) She the queen, a bad scene. 10 Tastes good, too! She the queen, the queen of mean! (Sings to AUDIENCE.) Can I take it to the bridge? 10 She the queen, a drama queen. BATS: (Trying to elicit a response of “Yeah” from the AUDIENCE, speak.) She the queen, uh-huh, the queen of mean! Yeah! (Sing.) Take it to the bridge! Everyone needs a mirror, to see a little clearer. QUEEN: (Sings.) Can I take it to the bridge? I see you, but do you see me? If you’re not real, then how can I be? 15 BATS: (Speak.) Yeah! (Sing.) Take it to the bridge! 15 And how can perfection be in a reflection? QUEEN: (Sings.) Can I take it to the bridge? Don’t ask me, it’s a mystery. BATS: (Speak.) Yeah! (Sing.) Take it to the bridge! I’m just a mirror! Yeah! (MUSIC OUT. BLACKOUT.) QUEEN: (Sings.) Let me take it to the bridge! End of Scene Two. BATS: (Sing.) Yeah! Boom cha-ka-la-ka-la-ka, take it to the bridge! 20 QUEEN: (Shouts.) Hit me! ACT ONE BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down! Scene Three QUEEN: (Sings.) That girl is goin’ down! LIGHTS UP: On MOTHER, JOSH and PEGGY SUE, who are sitting on She’s goin’… the floor DOWN RIGHT. BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down, 20 MOTHER: (Continues to read.) “From that hour on, whenever the 25 QUEEN: (Sings.) Don’t want that girl aroun’! queen looked at Snow White, her heart turned over inside her BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down! body, so great was her hatred for the girl. The envy and pride grew ever greater, like a weed in her heart, until she had no peace day QUEEN: (Sings.) That girl is goin’ down! and night.” She’s goin’… 25 JOSH: What does that mean? BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down, 30 That girl is leavin’ town! PEGGY SUE: It means the queen was really jealous and every day it got worse. QUEEN: (A grunt.) Hah! (Speaks.) Lookin’ funky, lookin’ fine! That prissy girl is mine! (Sings.) A drop or two of piggie slop, JOSH: I didn’t ask you, I asked Mom. Mom, what does that mean? A sales receipt, she’ll wanna shop. MOTHER: (Sighs.) It means the queen was really jealous and every BATS: (Sing.) Lacy ribbons’ll make her drop. 30 day it got worse. (LIGHTS SHIFT to MAIN STAGE. MOTHER and KIDS EXIT DOWN RIGHT. We find the QUEEN pacing back and forth in a 35 QUEEN: (Sings.) Mix ’em all together! crabby mood.) BATS: (Sing.) Mix ’em all together! QUEEN: (Stops and snaps her fingers. MARTHA immediately ENTERS QUEEN: (Sings.) Mix ’em all together! (Speaks.) Whooo! (MUSIC OUT.) UP RIGHT to do her bidding and curtsies.) Fetch me my fine That should do it. (Takes a big gulp and starts choking. Falls to handkerchief box from my room. knees behind the big workbench.) 35 MARTHA: Yes, my lady. (EXITS UP RIGHT. QUEEN continues her pacing. 40 RIBBON PEDDLER: (After a short pause, comes up gasping for air.) Ha Stops and snaps her fingers again. JUDY ENTERS UP LEFT to do her ha ha! She’ll never recognize me as an old peddler woman! And bidding and curtsies.)

24 9 Scene Four ...... Evil Queen, Comb Peddler, Mirror, 1 SNOW WHITE/WOMEN/PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing as a duet Bats with the CHORUS.) There’s gonna be a celebration. Scene Five ...... Snow White, Seven Dwarves, Comb Tell all the people on your way. Peddler, Dwarf Villagers, a few We’re gonna have a celebration. Woodland Animals, Trees, Flowers 5 There’s gonna be a wedding day! Scene Six ...... Evil Queen, Mirror, Apple, Fruit CHORUS: (Sings as a duet with SNOW WHITE and PRINCE.) Peddler, Bats, Mice Come on and celebrate, celebrate. Scene Seven...... Entire Cast Come on and see them on their way. Come on and celebrate, celebrate. SEQUENCE OF MUSICAL NUMBERS 10 There’s gonna be a wedding day. PROLOGUE ALL: (Sing.) Way, hey, time to dance and play. Gonna be a night beyond compare. MC 1 SNOW WHITE’S HIP-HOP, Way, hey, everybody sway. DOO-WOP, BE-BOP, FUNKY Can you feel the magic in the air? LITTLE ROCKIN’ TALE...... Ensemble 15 Feel the love and magic in the air! ACT ONE Can you feel the magic in the… MC 1a PRINCE CHARMING FANFARE ...... Instrumental SNOW WHITE/WOMEN/PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing.) …air?! MC 1b COMBAT HERO SOLDIER CHORUS: (Sings.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate! PRINCE FANFARE ...... Instrumental Come on and celebrate, celebrate! MC 1c PRINCE CHARMING FANFARE ...... Instrumental 20 ALL: (Sing.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate! MC 1d COMBAT HERO SOLDIER Come on and celebrate, celebrate! (MUSIC OUT.) PRINCE FANFARE ...... Instrumental KING: (Welcomes his daughter.) I have been told your tale, Snow MC 2 LADIES IN WAITING ...... Ladies in Waiting White, and I am horrified at the actions of your evil stepmother, MC 3 I’M JUST A MIRROR ...... Mirror the queen. (EVIL QUEEN ENTERS LEFT with her LADIES-IN-WAITING. 25 ALL boo.) MC 4 SOMEDAY ...... Snow White, Animals ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Grab that evil woman and put her in MC 5 THE RIGHT WAY...OR MY WAY ...... Huntsman, Devil, chains! (PRINCE’S MEN grab the QUEEN.) Angel ROMANTIC MAN 1: For attempting to hurt this child with your evil MC 5a NATURAL RESOURCE MAN JINGLE ...... DNR Rep magic— MC 5b THE ENCHANTED FOREST ...... Instrumental/SFX 30 ROMANTIC MAN 2: —you will be made to suffer at the hands of your MC 6 THE SEVEN DWARVES’ own evil magic! WORK SONG ...... Dwarves ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Bring forth the magic chains! (PRINCE’S MC 6a THE SEVEN DWARVES’ MEN bring forth the chains and show them to everyone.) WORK SONG—Reprise ...... Instrumental ROMANTIC MAN 3: These enchanted chains will cause you to dance ACT TWO 35 forever! MC 6b ENTR’ACTE–SEVEN DWARVES’ ROMANTIC MAN 1: And you will regret the day you used your magic WORK SONG ...... Instrumental for evil! (MEN fasten chains to QUEEN’S wrists and ankles.) MC 7 HAVE YA HEARD? ...... Villagers ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: You will never hurt anyone ever again! MC 8 A PINCH OF THIS ...... Queen, Bats DNR REP: Uh, ma’am. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mel MC 8a THE SEVEN DWARVES’ WORK 40 Merman, and I work for the Department of Natural Resources. May SONG—Reprise ...... Dwarves I say it is a pleasure to meet you. Now, on to business. Is it true that you ordered the destruction of a wild pig?

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1 QUEEN: Summon my huntsman. 1 VILLAGER 1: But don’t they realize they must be in danger? JUDY: Yes, my lady. (EXITS UP LEFT. MARTHA RE-ENTERS UP RIGHT VILLAGER 3: She must have enchanted them! with the box, hands it to QUEEN, curtsies and EXITS UP RIGHT. JUDY VILLAGER 2: What shall we do? RE-ENTERS UP LEFT with the HUNTSMAN, who carries a bow and VILLAGER 3: Our village is not safe! 5 arrow. JUDY curtsies to QUEEN and EXITS UP LEFT.) 5 VILLAGER 4: (Sees SNOW WHITE approaching down the aisle through QUEEN: You are my loyal servant? the AUDIENCE.) Look out! Here she comes! HUNTSMAN: Of course, milady. VILLAGER 2: Quick, hide yourselves! QUEEN: And you will do whatever I ask? VILLAGER 3: Hide the children! (ALL the VILLAGERS try to hide HUNTSMAN: Of course, milady. themselves or their faces.) 10 QUEEN: Take Snow White out into the woods. I never want to see her 10 SNOW WHITE: (Moves up ONSTAGE.) Excuse me. again. Kill her, and as proof that she is dead, bring her lungs and VILLAGER 1: Oh, can I help you, miss? her liver back to me. Deliver them to me in this box. SNOW WHITE: Could you show me the way to the market? HUNTSMAN: Kill her?! But, milady, surely not! (Drops to one knee and pleads.) Do not ask me to do such a thing. Snow White is so HEAD VILLAGER: Surely, miss. Down the road and left at the general store. 15 gentle, so kind, so lovely. I cannot kill such a delicate flower. QUEEN: You will do as I say, or you yourself will die! 15 SNOW WHITE: Thank you, kind sir! (Walks away and then stops and turns back.) Aren’t you kind of tall for a dwarf? HUNTSMAN: (Stands up and bows rather stiffly.) Yes, milady. (BLACKOUT.) HEAD VILLAGER: As a matter of fact, I hold the record for the world’s tallest dwarf! End of Scene Three SNOW WHITE: Really?! Wow! Impressive. ACT ONE 20 HEAD VILLAGER: Thanks. Scene Four VILLAGER 2: She seems nice. IN DARKNESS: The forest—a bare stage. (Stone wall flats for castle VILLAGER 4: Yes, she does. 20 can be turned around for forest background, or forest can be achieved VILLAGER 3: And I didn’t see any horns! (BLACKOUT.) simply by live actors as TREES and FLOWERS.) End of Scene One MOTHER’S VOICE: (Reads from OFF DOWN RIGHT.) “The huntsman obeyed and took Snow White into the woods…” (MUSIC CUE 4: ACT TWO “Someday.” LIGHTS COME UP, revealing optional forest background, Scene Two 25 some FLOWERS and TREES. SNOW WHITE ENTERS LEFT, holding LIGHTS UP: On QUEEN in her workroom, DOWN LEFT. MUSIC CUE a bouquet and gathering flowers with the herd of SHEEP following. 25 8: “A Pinch of This.” We see a cauldron on top of a large workbench LITTLE BIRD ENTERS LEFT. The WOODLAND ANIMALS start to sneak (should be large enough to conceal RIBBON PEDDLER, who is hiding ONSTAGE. SNOW WHITE greets them.) inside, along with all the props. See PRODUCTION NOTES.) TWO (or ANIMAL 1: (Speaks.) Oh, Snow White, you are so gentle. How can you more) BATS are perched on either side of workbench. 30 stay so kind and gentle? QUEEN: (Speaks.) I must think of a way to get rid of Snow White. I SNOW WHITE: (Speaks.) As a child, my father told me, “Blessed 30 simply must be the most beautiful woman in the entire land. But are we. Remember this—life’s not that long, it is but moments how? Ah-hah! I have it. No girl can resist beautiful clothes. Well, I to be savored, filled with bliss. There are treasures around us shall present her with such that she cannot resist! (An evil laugh.) everywhere for us to behold.” One quick pull on the corset ribbons to cut off her breath, and 35 ANIMAL 2: (Speaks.) Treasures? I see no treasure. I see rain. it’s “Sayonara, Snow White!” Hah! (Claps her hands.) But first, to SNOW WHITE: (Speaks.) I see silver. 35 disguise myself. Hmmm, the right spell is needed. (Flips pages in a big spell book. Begins to mix ingredients.) Let’s see… ANIMAL 3: (Speaks.) I see sunshine. (Sings.) A pinch of this, a pinch of that,

10 23 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT 1 EVERYONE: Hooray!! (MUSIC CUE 9: “Wedding Day.” The ENTIRE MC 8b NATURAL RESOURCE MAN CAST—except MOTHER, KIDS, QUEEN and LADIES-IN-WAITING— JINGLE—Reprise ...... DNR Rep ENTERS from all directions. SOME carry flowers. SNOW WHITE is MC 8c A PINCH OF THIS—Reprise ...... Queen, Bats draped with a white veil so it looks like a wedding.) MC 8d THE SEVEN DWARVES’ 5 CHORUS: (Sings, a soft chant.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate. WORK SONG—Reprise ...... Dwarves Come on and see them on their way. MC 8e A PINCH OF THIS—Reprise ...... Queen, Bats Come on and celebrate, celebrate. There’s gonna be a wedding day. MC 8f PRINCE CHARMING FANFARE ...... Instrumental (CHANT continues softly under solo verses.) MC 9 WEDDING DAY ...... Ensemble 10 PRINCE: (Sings.) Another happy ending to a fairytale. EPILOGUE/CURTAIN CALL SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) MC 9a SNOW WHITE’S HIP-HOP, Seems that all is well, the kingdom will prevail. DOO-WOP, BE-BOP, FUNKY PRINCE: (Sings.) I can’t believe I get to spend my life with you. LITTLE ROCKIN’ TALE—Reprise ...... Ensemble SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) MC 9b SOMEDAY—Reprise (optional 15 I just can’t believe my dreams have all come true. chorale finale or exit music.) ...... Ensemble SNOW WHITE/PRINCE: (Sing as a duet with CHORUS.) There’s gonna be a celebration. Tell all the people on your way. We’re gonna have a celebration. 20 There’s gonna be a wedding day! CHORUS: (Sings as a duet with SNOW WHITE and PRINCE.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate. Come on and see them on their way. Come on and celebrate, celebrate. 25 There’s gonna be a wedding day. ALL: (Sing.) Way, hey, time to dance and play. Gonna be a night beyond compare. Way, hey, everybody sway. Can you feel the magic in the air? 30 CHORUS: (Softly chants under the following verse.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate. Come on and see them on their way. Come on and celebrate, celebrate. We’re gonna have a wedding day. 35 PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing.) It’s only the beginning of the fantasy. SNOW WHITE/WOMEN: (Sing.) Together we will share a life, a destiny. PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing.) 40 A new and bold adventure’s only just begun. SNOW WHITE/WOMEN: (Sing.) I know we’ll be together when our journey’s done.

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1 GROUP 3: (Sings.) ’Bout the house. 1 SNOW WHITE: (Speaks.) I see gold. GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) Have ya seen it? ANIMAL 4: (Speaks.) Leaves? GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep! SNOW WHITE: (Laughs gently. Speaks.) Emeralds! (Looks around.) (Sings.) Dark and dirty ’n’ gross! Isn’t it lovely here? 5 GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Oh, my! 5 (Sings.) Sunshine, I feel it all around, Brilliantly shining down, smiling so warm and friendly. GROUP 1: (Sings.) The girl must be crazy! GROUP 2: (Sings.) Desp’rate! Blue skies, far as the eye can see, Calling to you and me, time for a new beginning. GROUP 4: (Sings.) Or mean! Someday, I’ll find my true love. I pray he won’t delay. ALL: (Sing. To AUDIENCE.) What kind of tutti frutti mean thief 10 ANIMALS: (Sing.) Moonlight… SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) Ah, ah. 10 would break into a house! Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? Shines on the woods we roam. Ah, ah. This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. This is our forest home, Ah, ah. Where we all live together. Ah, ah. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round that’s been givin’ me a fright, And all I can do is lie and pray for daylight SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) Someday… ANIMALS: (Sing.) Ah, ah. 15 15 Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! …I’ll find my true love. Ah, ah. I pray… Ah, ah. GROUP 1: (Sings.) Have ya heard? ALL: (Sing.) …he’s on his way. GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what? Star bright, soon will be glimm’ring down, GROUP 1: (Sings.) The girl has two heads! Nighttime will soon be ’round bringing its peace and quiet. GROUPS 2, 3, 4: (Speak in rhythm.) Two heads? 20 Treetops, singing their lullaby, whisp’ring to you and I, 20 GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep! And horns! “There will be love and joy someday.” (MUSIC OUT.) GROUP 2, 3, 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Oh, no! SHEEP: It’s a baaaaa-oootiful day. (SHEEP and ANIMALS wander OFF GROUP 3: (Sings.) Could be part goat, could be part devil! UP RIGHT.) ALL: (Sing.) Goodness gracious, we hope you’re on the level! SNOW WHITE: Hello, pretty bird! How are you today? GROUP 2: (Sings.) That’s cool! 25 LITTLE BIRD: Better than you, I fear. 25 GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Not cool! SNOW WHITE: Why, little bird! How can you say such a thing? It is GROUP 1: (Sings.) That’s weird. such a lovely day, and the huntsman yonder has been kind enough to be my protector as I gather these lovely flowers. GROUP 3: (Sings.) It’s scary. LITTLE BIRD: Yonder huntsman means to harm you! GROUP 4: (Sings.) Heard she’s tall and hairy. 30 SNOW WHITE: What?! (Laughs.) Oh, I am sure you are mistaken. I ALL: (Sing.) So there’s a crazy, mean, two-headed, tall demon girl, have known him since I was very young. He is a good and kind 30 Livin’ with the seven dwarves… think I’m gonna hurl! man. GROUP 4: (Speaks.) And don’t forget… she’s hairy too! LITTLE BIRD: Listen to me, Snow White! I speak the truth. The word ALL: (Sing.) So there’s a crazy, mean, two-headed, has traveled through the forest, carried on the wings of my brothers Tall ’n’ hairy demon girl 35 and sisters. He intends to kill you!! (SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD Livin’ with the seven dwarves… think I’m gonna hurl! (To AUDIENCE.) FREEZE. LIGHTS SHIFT to SPOTLIGHT on the HUNTSMAN, who is 35 Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? now walking ON LEFT.) This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. HUNTSMAN: (Carries bow and arrow and handkerchief box, obviously There’s a rumor goin’ ’round ’bout a demon in the woods, very troubled by the task awaiting him. MUSIC CUE 5: “The Right Livin’ with the seven, really gross little hoods! 40 Way… Or My Way.”) What should I do? Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! ANGEL: (ENTERS UP RIGHT and moves to one side of HUNTSMAN. Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! (MUSIC OUT.) Speaks.) What should you do?! Shame on you!! Why, let her go, of course! 22 11 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT 1 CHIP: We have lost our fair Snow White. Set Design — The Rockin’ Tale of Snow White ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: The beauty in the case of glass? Yes! I’ve heard of her. May I see her? Dwarf Village Scenes BIG MIKE: Yes. Let the prince approach. (ANIMALS and DWARVES 5 back away and allow him to see SNOW WHITE.) ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (Gasps.) I have never seen such beauty! Even in death. Please, let me bring her to my castle. I will build a shrine and protect her always. I will give you all the gold you want. ZIP: Take our Snow White?! 10 KIP: Well, I don’t know. TIP: We couldn’t part with her for all the gold in the world. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Please, I will honor her and respect her as my most cherished one. FLIP: Really? 15 CHIP: Men, let’s huddle! (DWARVES huddle up.) BIG MIKE: Okay, Prince. We agree, but only if we can accompany you. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Yes, of course. Men, the coffin—and lift it with care. (MEN go to lift it. One stumbles and mimes fumbling his end.) 20 ROMANTIC MAN 3: Watch out!! (SNOW WHITE jerks her body as if the coffin has been dropped and starts to cough. She sits up.ALL gasp.) ZIP: Snow White! Snow White is alive! The Queen’s Workroom KIP: But how?! TIP: She has coughed up this chunk of apple. (Reaches into the coffin 25 and lifts out a very large apple core and shows it to the AUDIENCE.) PIP: Snow White, are you all right?! SNOW WHITE: Yes, I think so. I feel like I’ve been sleeping. Where am I? I remember talking to a fruit peddler and taking a bite of a juicy red apple, but it got stuck in my throat and then nothing… 30 ROMANTIC MAN 1: It must have been when we dropped the coffin. ROMANTIC MAN 2: It dislodged the apple from her throat. ROMANTIC MAN 3: Bringing her back to us! SNOW WHITE: Good heavens, where am I? ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (Flies to her side.) You are with me. I am 35 the prince of this land. I love you more than anything else in the world. Please do me the honor of coming with me to my father’s castle. You shall become my wife. SNOW WHITE: Oh, my goodness! This is all so sudden, but… (Trying to make up her mind, she looks at the DWARVES, who smile, then 40 the ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and his MEN, who smile, then back to the DWARVES and back to the PRINCE.) …okay!

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1 HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Who are you? 1 GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what? DEVIL: (ENTERS UP LEFT and moves to the other side of the HUNTSMAN. GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) ’Bout the girl? Speaks.) What should I do?! I can’t believe you’re hesitating! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) What girl? HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Who are you? GROUP 1: (Sings.) There’s a girl. 5 ANGEL: (To DEVIL. Speaks.) Hey! Who invited you here? Butt out! (To 5 GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) What girl? HUNTSMAN.) I’m your good conscience. And I’m here to remind GROUP 3: (Sings.) A tall girl! you that no matter what, you must choose the good path. She’s a beautiful, good and gentle child. You must let her go. GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) Oh, my! HUNTSMAN: (Nodding, speaks.) See! That’s what I was thinking! GROUP 4: (Sings.) What about her? 10 DEVIL: (Speaks.) Don’t listen to him! He’s obviously forgotten that GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) She’s tall. the queen said she would have you killed if you failed to carry out 10 GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) We all know that! this task. ALL: (Sing.) Good golly, Miss Molly, I think I smell a rat! HUNTSMAN: (Grabbing throat, speaks.) That is something to consider, GROUP 1: (Sings.) Now, the seven. too! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) The seven? 15 ANGEL: (Speaks.) But you’ve known Snow White since she was a GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) The seven in the woods? child. She’s done the queen no wrong and harmed no one. 15 GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) That’s a good point. GROUP 3: (Sings.) What about the seven? DEVIL: (Speaks.) But you’re gonna die if you don’t kill her! GROUP 1: (Sings.) The girl. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) That’s a good point, too! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) The girl? 20 ANGEL: (Sings.) Before you choose a path, better stop and think. (Sings.) We’re talkin’ ‘bout the seven! Going down the wrong trail could land you in the drink. 20 GROUP 4: (Sings.) What about the seven? DEVIL: (Sings.) I recommend you kill the girl and save your neck. GROUP 1: (Sings. Admonishing GROUP 4.) HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) But if I kill her I will lose my self-respect. Rama lama ding dong, she’s livin’ with the seven! DEVIL: (Sings.) You should take the low way. ALL: (Sing to AUDIENCE.) 25 ANGEL: (Sings.) I would take the high way. Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? DEVIL: (Sings.) Think about the free way… 25 This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. ANGEL: (Sings.) …or possibly the byway. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round that’s been givin’ me a fright, HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) This could be a good day, And all I can do is lie and pray for daylight. Or this could be a bad day! Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! 30 ANGEL: (Sings.) You can choose the right way! GROUP 4: (Sings.) Have ya heard? DEVIL: (Sings.) Or my way! 30 GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what? HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) How will I know? GROUP 4: (Sings.) She’s a thief. Which way to turn? GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) What?! Please show me which way to go! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) A thief? 35 What should I do? What will I learn? GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep! (Sings.) I’ve reached the point of no return, 35 She broke into the house! The point of no return! ALL: (Sing.) Great balls of fire, good Lordy up in heaven! DEVIL: (Sings.) HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) Why would anyone break into the house of the seven? 40 If I were you I think that What should I do? GROUP 3: (Sings.) Have ya heard? I would take the low way. GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what?

12 21 1 And I’m the fairest chick in the land!! (MUSIC OUT. Moves to THE ROCKIN’ TALE OF SNOW WHITE cauldron and pulls a very large apple out of the kettle. Speaks.) Now to disguise myself. (Scoops some “liquid” from the kettle and PROLOGUE takes a drink. Falls to her knees behind the big workbench. After a 1 BEFORE LIGHTS UP: MUSIC CUE 1: “Snow White’s Hip-Hop, Doo- 5 beat, FRUIT PEDDLER comes up gasping for air.) Wop, Be-Bop, Funky Little Rockin’ Tale.” ENSEMBLE ENTERS in the FRUIT PEDDLER: Ha ha ha! She’ll never recognize me as a man!! dark from STAGE LEFT and RIGHT. They file across the FRONT OF THE (Grabs a fruit cart, loads up the large APPLE and rushes OFF LEFT. STAGE. LIGHTS UP on ENSEMBLE. LIGHTS DIM and the MICE ENTER UP RIGHT and perform a little 5 ENSEMBLE: (Sings, in a Renaissance style.) dance with their time signs to mark the passage of time—two Once upon a time in a legendary kingdom, 10 hours, four hours, six hours, etc. LIGHTS COME UP again as FRUIT Lived a royal princess, fairest in the land. PEDDLER runs back ON LEFT.) Mirror! Quickly! Wake up!! She would meet a prince. They’d fall in love and then some. MIRROR: (Wakes.) What now?! Such a noble story told for your delight. FRUIT PEDDLER: It went like a charm! At first she was afraid to take 10 ’Tis a little rockin’ tale of pure Snow White! a bite! But then I said, “If you are afraid, then I will cut the apple in (With sudden “rock” edge. The ENSEMBLE takes on a whole new 15 two and eat half of it. Here, you eat the half with the beautiful red personality, from “Renaissance” to “Rock.” [NOTE: GUYS could walk cheek!” Now, the apple had been so artfully made that only the or pose with an attitude. GIRLS could take pins, ribbons, bows out red half was poisoned. When Snow White saw me eating my half of their hair and let it fall down, etc.]) she figured it must be safe! She barely had the bite in her mouth 15 We got a tale, a magical, marvelous, song-filled serenade. when she fell to the ground dead. What do you say to that?!! We got a tale, a fun-packed escapade. 20 MIRROR: You, my queen, are now fairest of all. Yes, we’re gonna wail, singin’ and a-shoutin’ and a-dancin’ till my FRUIT PEDDLER: (Laughs in triumph.) Yes! (BLACKOUT. All set pieces, feet both fail! except possibly the castle walls, are removed.) Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little 20 rockin’ tale! End of Scene Six GIRLS: (PRINCE steps forward and shows off muscles. Sing.) ACT TWO We got a prince, a muscle-bound, handsome, buff and studly macho guy! Scene Seven GUYS: (SNOW WHITE steps forward, smiles and curtseys to AUDIENCE. LIGHTS UP: On bare stage with coffin display. SNOW WHITE is in the 25 Sing.) We got a girl, a sugar and spice and-a everything nice, little glass coffin along with an oversized apple core, which is concealed at cutie pie. 25 the moment. DWARVES and ANIMALS are gathered around. ALL: (QUEEN steps forward and gives the AUDIENCE the evil eye. BIG MIKE: She’s still so beautiful. Sing.) We got a queen, an evil-eyed, funkified, lean and mean, KIP: I can’t believe she’s dead. total wicked machine. TIP: I keep hoping someday… somehow… 30 DWARVES: (Step forward. Sing.) PIP: Maybe the magic can be undone? And we got dwarves, feisty little dwarves. 30 FLIP: Ah! Look yonder—someone approaches! The rockinest you’ve ever seen! CHIP: Why, it’s the prince and his men! (MUSIC CUE 8f: “Prince ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Charming Fanfare.” ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and MEN ENTER We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nail-bitin’ mystery. LEFT. The MEN bring on shackles or chains, which are concealed. 35 We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. DWARVES and some ANIMALS stand in front of the glass case Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic 35 protectively.) over hill and dale. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (MUSIC OUT.) What is this? Why do you Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little mourn, my good men? rockin’ tale!

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1 MOTHER: (Reads.) “When the evil queen heard that Snow White was 1 ANGEL: (Sings.) alive and well and living with the dwarves, she thought and thought If I were you I’d really How will I know? again about how she could kill her…” think about the high way. JOSH: Isn’t that against the law? Her life’s depending on Please show me 5 MOTHER: What’s against the law? 5 which ever way you Which way to… choose today. JOSH: Killing someone. Isn’t that against the law? DEVIL: (Sings.) PEGGY SUE: Of course, it is! Okay, now shut up and listen. Forget the right way. …go. JOSH: Mom, Peggy Sue told me to shut up! Better travel my way! MOTHER: Peggy Sue, there is a nice way to tell someone to stop 10 If I were you, I wouldn’t Which path to take? 10 talking. Give her any leeway! PEGGY SUE: But Mom, it doesn’t work with him. ANGEL: (Sings.) MOTHER: Yes, it does. Josh, yes, it is against the law. And Josh, hush If I were you, I’d take Which way to turn? now. Now, I was saying… the “solve-it-peacefully” way! JOSH: Can I ask one more thing? 15 It’s always better to be I’ve reached the point Faithful, good and kind. Of no return, 15 MOTHER: Fine. What’s up? JOSH: Didn’t some of the dwarves seem kind of tall to you? DEVIL: (Sings.) The time has come You best make up your The point of no re- PEGGY SUE: You’re kidding, right? Josh, this is your imagination. You mind. turn. can make them any size you want using your imagination. 20 (MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER DIALOGUE.) JOSH: Oh, yeah, you’re right. ANGEL/DEVIL: (Speak.) So what’s it gonna be? 20 PEGGY SUE: You are so stupid. ANGEL: (Speaks.) The right way? JOSH: Mom, Peggy Sue just called me stupid! DEVIL: (Speaks.) Or my way? MOTHER: (Heavy sigh.) Do you two want me to keep reading? (KIDS HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) But you’re not the one to pay the price! Look… nod yes.) Then no more fighting.(Reads.) “In the meantime, the 25 I’d like to live another day, and no matter what, at least I’ll be able word about Snow White’s arrival was starting to fly around the local to say… I did it my way! (MUSIC OUT. LIGHTS UP FULL as he walks 25 dwarf village.” (MUSIC CUE 7: “Have Ya Heard?” LIGHTS SHIFT to toward SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD, who UNFREEZE.) MAIN STAGE where we find the dwarf village. Several ANIMALS, TREES and FLOWERS are scattered around the stage. MOTHER SNOW WHITE: (Sees him approach and drops to her knees.) Oh, and KIDS EXIT DOWN RIGHT. DWARF VILLAGERS are milling about please, dear Huntsman, let me live. I will run into the wild woods 30 doing little dwarf things with an assortment of tools. HEAD DWARF and never come back. 30 is selling flowers at a cart. There is a general feeling of uneasiness HUNTSMAN: (Helps her to her feet.) Forgive me, little princess! Save and subdued panic. [NOTE: GROUPS/CITIZENS may be divided yourself. The evil queen hates you and wants you dead! Run away, according to the age and ability of the performers. For younger you poor child. (SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD run OFF RIGHT. The performers you may want to consider dividing into two large groups ANGEL and DEVIL watch SNOW WHITE run by and then approach of citizens.]) 35 the HUNTSMAN.) 35 ALL: (Sing to AUDIENCE.) DEVIL: Now what are you going to do? What are you going to tell the Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? queen? This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. HUNTSMAN: I’ll lie. Even you can’t have a problem with that. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round, got me stayin’ wide awake, DEVIL: But how will you prove it? She asked for proof, remember? And all I can do is lie in bed and shake. 40 Delivered in her box. 40 Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! HUNTSMAN: (Thinks for a minute.) I shall kill a wild animal in her GROUP 1: (Sings.) Have ya heard? place, perhaps a wild pig.

20 13 1 Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ 1 TIP: (Rushes to SNOW WHITE’S side.) Oh, dear! Is she dead? tale! (ENSEMBLE EXITS LEFT and RIGHT in a regal manner. PIP: She’s so still! MUSIC OUT.) FLIP: What has happened to her? End of Prologue CHIP: Look at her hair. Where did that comb come from? (They take ACT ONE 5 the comb from her hair, and SNOW WHITE sits up breathing.) Scene One SNOW WHITE: Oh, what has happened? LIGHTS UP: On JOSH and PEGGY SUE playing with dolls on the rug in BIG MIKE: Ah-hah! It must have been the queen who tried to kill you. 5 the living room. PEGGY SUE has a pretty princess doll and JOSH has SNOW WHITE: But I didn’t see her! You told me to watch for an old a soldier action figure. The stage is divided into three sections—the peddler woman. This woman was young and pretty. living room DOWN RIGHT, the coffin display DOWN CENTER and the 10 VILLAGER: Well, next time don’t talk to any peddler women at all! castle room on the MAIN STAGE. VILLAGER: (To DWARVES.) Thank goodness you were in time! PEGGY SUE: …and the prince falls in love at first sight, and now he End of Scene Five 10 has to kiss her. JOSH: Gross! No way! He’s not gonna kiss her! ACT TWO PEGGY SUE: Yes! He has to. Scene Six JOSH: No! LIGHTS UP: On QUEEN in her workroom, DOWN LEFT. BATS stand on PEGGY SUE: He has to! He loves her. either side of the workbench, which now conceals FRUIT PEDDLER. There is a big kettle (can be a basket with papered sides). ONSTAGE 15 JOSH: He does not. He just met her. 15 concealing a small child in an APPLE costume. (Alternatively, a large PEGGY SUE: It’s love at first sight. apple prop can be used.) JOSH: There is no such thing. QUEEN: Well, Mirror? What say you now? PEGGY SUE: There is, too! It happens all the time! MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair—it is true. JOSH: Like when? But little Snow White with the seven dwarves 20 PEGGY SUE: Like in all the fairy tales. 20 Is a thousand times fairer than you. JOSH: Name one. QUEEN: No way!! That cannot be true!! Aaarrrggghhh! Snow White will PEGGY SUE: Snow White! (LIGHTS UP DOWN CENTER revealing the die if it costs me my life! (Pulls out a little apple.) With this little glass coffin displaying SNOW WHITE. MUSIC CUE 1a: “Prince apple, Snow White will meet her end! (MUSIC CUE 8e: “A Pinch of Charming Fanfare.” PRINCE CHARMING and his MEN ENTER LEFT. This—Reprise.” Flips pages in the big spell book. She begins to mix 25 CHARMING approaches the coffin. KIDS watch the scene.) 25 ingredients and throws in apple. Sings.) PRINCE CHARMING: (MUSIC OUT.) I am the handsome Prince A pinch of this, a little pest… Charming! A scream of fright… A hornet’s nest… PRINCE CHARMING’S MEN: And we are his handsome men! We have A mummy’s curse—the final test. climbed the highest peaks and fought the fiercest dragons to be 30 30 here. QUEEN/BATS: (Sing.) Mix ‘em all together! CHARMING: Oh, behold the fair Snow White! I love you more than QUEEN: (Speaks.) Those collagen injected, pouty little red lips are anything in the world. (LIGHTS OUT on CHARMING and MEN, who going to be closed for good! (Raps.) quickly EXIT LEFT.) Gonna kill Snow White, that’s what I’ll do. With a poison apple ’n’ witch’s brew. JOSH: No way! He wouldn’t say that! Especially not to a dead person! 35 She’ll fall asleep, 35 PEGGY SUE: Well then, what did he say? Huh? What did he say? Won’t that be grand, (LIGHTS UP again on the glass coffin. MUSIC CUE 1b: “Combat Hero When the girl is dead,

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1 ANGEL: Now you’re thinking. (WILD PIG ENTERS UP RIGHT and runs 1 market, and she could only think that she was again the first and across stage. The HUNTSMAN draws his bow and chases him down most beautiful woman of all…” (LIGHTS SHIFT to castle room. EVIL and captures him. MUSIC CUE 5a: “Natural Resource Man Jingle.”) QUEEN, LADIES-IN-WAITING and MIRROR are ONSTAGE.) DNR REP: (ENTERS LEFT, carrying a briefcase. Speaks.) Excuse me!! QUEEN: Ladies, ladies, your attention, please. 5 But did I hear someone mention something about killing a wild pig? 5 ALL LADIES: Yes, your majesty. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Uuuhhhhh… well… yes. QUEEN: Anything you wanted to say to me today? Hmmm?? (LADIES DNR REP: (Pulls out clipboard. Speaks.) Can I have your name? at first look a bit confused. Then they look at each other [as if a light HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Horatio the Huntsman. Why? Who are you? goes off] and gather together in a group looking like a small chorus.) DNR REP: (Speaks.) I’m Mel Merman. Representative for the MEREDITH: Why, yes, your majesty. Ladies, are you ready? Ahem! A 10 Department of Natural Resources… (To AUDIENCE.) …otherwise 10 limerick for your enjoyment. known as the D-N-R. MARTHA: There once was a queen so exquisite… HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) You’re who? From the department of what?! MARY: That people from afar came to visit… DNR REP: (Speaks.) Mel Merman is my name. Natural resources are MOLLY: Just to behold… my game! MAUREEN: …looks fairer than gold. 15 (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. 15 JUDY: Not a bad poem, now is it? (ALL LADIES and QUEEN laugh.) I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks to AUDIENCE.) Yes, folks, QUEEN: (Turns to MIRROR.) Mirror, mirror on the wall, you heard me right—natural resource protection. My department Who in this land is fairest of all? is an offshoot of the Department of the Interior, which was established by the 30th Congress back in 1849. Even back then MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair, it’s true, But Snow White, beyond the mountains with the seven dwarves, 20 they realized that we had to manage and protect this great nation. That’s where I come in! 20 Is still a thousand times fairer than you. (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. QUEEN: (Shrieks.) No!! That cannot be! (LIGHTS SHIFT to MOTHER and I’m yer Natural Resource man! (Speaks to HUNTSMAN.) Are you KIDS.) aware, sir, that the hunting of wild pigs in this forest is illegal? MOTHER: (Puts down the book.) And now I think… (MUSIC CUE 6a: 25 These pigs are federally protected. (WILD PIG wipes his brow in “The Seven Dwarves’ Work Song—Reprise.”) relief.) 25 JOSH: Mom, what are you doing?! HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Illegal? PEGGY SUE: You can’t stop now! DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. JOSH: C’mon, Mom! It’s just getting good. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) In this forest? PEGGY SUE: Please! Read on. 30 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. MOTHER: I will. I just thought it would be nice to stop for a snack. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) You’re kidding, right? 30 JOSH/PEGGY SUE: Yay! (MUSIC OUT. CURTAIN.) DNR REP: (Speaks.) ’Fraid not, sir. End of ACT ONE HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) But I didn’t know they were protected. DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ignorance is not an excuse, sir! It’s people like you ACT TWO 35 that give me job security. Scene One (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. MUSIC CUE 6b: “Entr’Acte.” I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) Have you hugged a tree CURTAIN UP: JOSH and PEGGY SUE are DOWN RIGHT finishing their today?! (Back to HUNTSMAN.) Now, if you’d come with me, I have snack. MOTHER sits down and picks up storybook. Stage is now divided some questions I need you to answer. (He and HUNTSMAN walk into two sections—the living room and the dwarf village, represented 40 OFF LEFT with DEVIL and ANGEL trailing. WILD PIG follows, jumping 35 by the village walls and a flower cart.(NOTE: The village walls can be for joy. MUSIC OUT.) created by laying down lengthwise the stone walls for the castle.) End of Scene Four 14 19 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT 1 Grab the tools and the lunch bag, salsa down the trail. 1 Soldier Prince Fanfare.” COMBAT HERO SOLDIER PRINCE and his All across the valley you can hear us wail. MEN ENTER LEFT. COMBAT HERO approaches the coffin.) ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! COMBAT HERO SOLDIER PRINCE: (MUSIC OUT.) I am brave Combat KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! Hero Soldier—and one prince of a guy! 5 TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! 5 COMBAT HERO SOLDIER PRINCE’S MEN: And we are his brave men! PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! We have snuck behind enemy lines and slashed our way through the deepest jungles to be here. FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! COMBAT HERO: Whoa! Is she really dead? It says here her name is CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! Snow White. I’ll say. She’s pretty pale. I should bring her home to BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! 10 my castle and show my friends. (LIGHTS OUT on COMBAT HERO 10 ZIP: (Speaks.) See— SOLDIER PRINCE and MEN as they quickly EXIT LEFT.) KIP: (Speaks.) —you— PEGGY SUE: Uh-uh! That is not what happens! (LIGHTS UP, revealing TIP: (Speaks.) —real— glass coffin. MUSIC CUE 1c: “Prince Charming Fanfare.” PRINCE PIP: (Speaks.) —soon! CHARMING and his MEN ENTER LEFT. CHARMING approaches the FLIP: (Speaks.) Have— 15 coffin.) CHARMING: (MUSIC OUT.) I am the handsome Prince Charming! 15 CHIP: (Speaks.) —a— BIG MIKE: (Speaks.) —great day! (DWARVES march OFF UP LEFT. CHARMING MEN: And we are his handsome men! We have climbed MUSIC OUT. SNOW WHITE waves good-bye, turns and starts the highest peaks and fought the fiercest dragons to be here. shopping.) CHARMING: Oh, behold the fair Snow White! I love you more than COMB PEDDLER: (ENTERS LEFT, carrying basket full of combs.) Pretty 20 anything in the world. (LIGHTS OUT on CHARMING and his MEN, who ALL step aside to make room for COMBAT HERO and his MEN.) 20 combs! Pretty combs! Pretty ribbons for pretty hair. (Pretends to bump into SNOW WHITE.) Why, hello! What’s your name? Ahhh! JOSH: No way! He wouldn’t say that! (LIGHTS UP again on glass Look at your lovely hair. Would you like to look at my pretty combs? coffin.COMBAT HERO and MEN ENTER LEFT again. MUSIC CUE 1d: Your hair is so lovely. May I brush it for you? “Combat Hero Soldier Prince Fanfare.”) SNOW WHITE: Oh, thank you, but I simply couldn’t. 25 COMBAT HERO: (MUSIC OUT. Sarcastic.) I am brave Combat Hero Soldier—and one prince of a guy! 25 COMB PEDDLER: Oh, why not? Just for fun? Here, let me help you. SNOW WHITE: Well, they are awfully pretty. (To AUDIENCE.) And this COMBAT HERO’S MEN: And we are his brave men! We have snuck isn’t the same peddler woman as the last time, so I’m sure it’s all behind enemy lines and slashed our way through the deepest right. (To COMB PEDDLER.) Oh, okay, if just for a minute! jungles to be here. 30 COMB PEDDLER: (Sits SNOW WHITE down and starts to comb her COMBAT HERO: Whoa! Is she really dead? It says here her name is Snow White. I’ll say. She’s pretty pale. I should bring her home to 30 hair. SNOW WHITE immediately faints and falls to the ground.) Ha ha! That will keep you lying there! (EXITS UP LEFT while VILLAGERS my castle and show my friends. gather around SNOW WHITE.) PEGGY SUE: Uh-uh! That is not what happens! VILLAGER 1: Oh, look at Snow White! JOSH: Is too! VILLAGER 2: What has happened?! 35 PEGGY SUE: Is not! 35 VILLAGER 3: (To the ANIMALS.) Quick, go fetch the seven! Tell them JOSH: Is too! there is trouble for Snow White! (ANIMALS EXIT UP LEFT.) PEGGY SUE: Is not! (While KIDS argue, CHARMING, COMBAT HERO VILLAGER 4: She’s so pale. (DWARVES and more ANIMALS come and their MEN start to look pretty impatient with the way the story running UP LEFT.) is going.) ZIP: What is it? 40 SNOW WHITE: (Sits up in the coffin, looking very irritated.) Look— KIP: Trouble with Snow White? would you two make up your minds?!

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1 BIG MIKE: Let’s sneak up on it and attack it! ACT ONE ZIP: Let’s not and say we did. Scene Five KIP: Oh, for heaven’s sake! Let’s get a grip. We don’t even know what 1 A different part of the forest. STAGE is cast in a DARK BLUE LIGHT. we’re dealing with here. MUSIC CUE 5b: “The Enchanted Forest.” The TREES and FLOWERS 5 TIP: Well, what do you suggest? ENTER and scatter around stage with ANIMALS hiding in little groups PIP: It’s not moving anymore—maybe it’s asleep. behind them. (SOUND EFFECTS: SOUND OF WIND, an OWL, a WOLF, 5 CREAKING OF BRANCHES and OTHER MYSTERIOUS SOUNDS one FLIP: Might be… should we sneak up and have a look? would only imagine come from an enchanted forest [on CD].) SNOW CHIP: Yes—I think you should. WHITE runs ON RIGHT and comes to the first group of ANIMALS, who BIG MIKE: If one goes, we’re all going together. jump up. SNOW WHITE calls out “help me” and the ANIMALS return 10 ZIP: Do we have to? those words in a sighing echo—“heeelllp mmmeee.” She continues to KIP: C’mon, let’s go. Be ready, men. Slowly… slowly… (DWARVES 10 run from place to place on stage, always encountering either a face or sneak up, surround the bed and raise their lanterns.) a tree grabbing at her, etc. SOUND EFFECT: “RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, SAVE YOURSELF, SAVE YOURSELF” is whispered from OFFSTAGE TIP: Good heavens! or over the sound system. This scenario will continue until finally SNOW PIP: Good heavens! WHITE falls to the ground sobbing. The SOUND EFFECTS FADE and the 15 FLIP: She is so beautiful! 15 LIGHTS COME UP. (MUSIC OUT.) The ANIMALS come out and gather CHIP: Where did she come from? around her. Slowly SNOW WHITE lifts her head and looks around. BIG MIKE: She’s really big, isn’t she? SNOW WHITE: Oh! Look at all of the animals! ZIP: Only to you. ANIMAL 1: Do not be afraid, Snow White. KIP: Should we wake her up? ANIMAL 2: We know who you are and of your plight. 20 TIP: No, let her sleep. We’ll find out her story in the morning. (DWARVES 20 SNOW WHITE: But how do you know? try to make themselves comfortable around different places on the ANIMAL 3: Our friends the birds brought us your story. stage and go to sleep. LIGHTS FADE.) SNOW WHITE: Then they will have told you I have nowhere to go. I’m End of Scene Six so frightened and all alone, and I don’t know what to do. ALL ANIMALS: We will help you, Snow White! ACT ONE 25 ANIMAL 4: There is nothing to fear. Scene Seven ANIMALS 5/6: We will guide your steps… LIGHTS UP: On MOTHER, JOSH and PEGGY SUE, sitting on the floor ALL ANIMALS: …to a safe place. (They point to a small image of a DOWN RIGHT. The dwarves’ house has been removed, and the stage house in the distance. [This can be tacked onto the forest backdrop 25 is back to the castle room and the living room. and highlighted by a SPOTLIGHT.] BLACKOUT.) MOTHER: (Continues to read.) “When Snow White woke up, the End of Scene Five dwarves asked her who she was and how she had found her way to their house. She told them how her stepmother had tried to kill ACT ONE her, how the huntsman had spared her life and how she had run Scene Six 30 the entire day, finally coming to their house. The dwarves pitied her and invited her to stay.” 30 LIGHTS UP DIM: Inside the SEVEN DWARVES’ house. The house is set with a bed and seven small pillows, a table with seven chairs and PEGGY SUE: Ohhh, wasn’t that sweet? a few lamps or lanterns. SNOW WHITE ENTERS. JOSH: Oh, brother. SNOW WHITE: Oh, my goodness! Look at this cute little house! MOTHER: (Reads.) “Now the queen believed that the huntsman had Everything is so little… really, really little. And look at this table! 35 brought her the lungs and liver of Snow White. The queen didn’t 35 Seven little chairs, seven little plates and spoons. Whoever lives know the huntsman had bought the liver and lungs at the farmer’s here must be very small! Perhaps it’s children! This food looks

18 15 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT 1 MOTHER: (ENTERS DOWN RIGHT.) What’s going on here? 1 QUEEN/BATS: Mix ‘em all together! BOTH KIDS: (Look surprised.) Mom! QUEEN: (Speaks.) That girl’s not going to make an old bat out of me. PEGGY SUE: He said that the prince didn’t love Snow White at first (BATS react, insulted. To BATS.) Sorry. (Raps.) sight because she was dead and— Gonna put that nuisance girl to bed, 5 A strand of hair from ‘er coal black head, 5 JOSH: She said that the prince totally loved Snow White at first sight and then wanted to kiss her and there is no way that’s true! A poison comb and she’ll be dead! Mix ‘em all together! (PRINCES stand there with arms folded, tapping their feet.) BATS: (Sing.) Mix ‘em all together! MOTHER: Whoa… whoa… whoa! What’s this about? The story of QUEEN/BATS: (Sing.) Mix ‘em all together! Snow White? QUEEN: (Speaks.) Whoooo! (MUSIC OUT.) Hahaha! Oh, yes, one last 10 KIDS: Yes! (They quiet down.) 10 thing… a scrunchie. Mix it together. That should do it. (Takes a big MOTHER: Well, there is one way to resolve this. Let’s see what the gulp and starts choking. Falls to knees behind the big workbench.) Grimm brothers have to say, shall we? COMB PEDDLER: (Comes up gasping for air, young and pretty.) Ha KIDS: The who? ha ha! She’ll never recognize me. They’ll all be expecting an old peddler woman! Now to finish the task.(Grabs the basket of combs MOTHER: The Brothers Grimm. They wrote the story. (PRINCE CHARMING 15 and EXITS LEFT, laughing. BLACKOUT.) 15 smiles and nods his head with his MEN. COMBAT HERO and MEN shrug their shoulders and shake heads to AUDIENCE. CHARMING, End of Scene Four COMBAT HERO and ALL MEN EXIT LEFT, rolling coffin OFF with them. ACT TWO LIGHTS OUT DOWN CENTER. MOTHER looks at bookshelf and pulls down a book.) Here it is! (YOUNG QUEEN ENTERS UP RIGHT and Scene Five 20 sits in rocking chair UP CENTER. MOTHER and KIDS sit down on rug. LIGHTS UP: On dwarf village, which is on MAIN STAGE. VILLAGERS MOTHER reads.) “Once upon a time, in the middle of winter, when are milling about doing their little dwarf village things again. A few the flakes of snow were falling like feathers from the sky…”( LIGHTS ANIMALS may be roaming around and several TREES and FLOWERS SHIFT to MAIN STAGE revealing the castle room. YOUNG QUEEN sits may be scattered around stage. SNOW WHITE and SEVEN DWARVES in a rocking chair by the window sewing.) 20 ENTER UP RIGHT. 25 KING: (ENTERS UP LEFT.) What are you doing, my dear? SNOW WHITE: All right! I hear you, but I’ll be fine! Really, I will. YOUNG QUEEN: (Smiles at him.) Sewing… and wishing. ZIP: I know you think that, but look what happened last time! KING: Wishing? Wishing for what? Tell me and I will buy it for you. KIP: You’ll recognize her again, if she comes back, won’t you? YOUNG QUEEN: It is nothing you can buy. I wish for a child of our own. SNOW WHITE: Yes, of course. KING: Oh, my dear! (Goes to hug her and bumps her sewing. She pricks 25 TIP: How about the rest of you? Will you watch out for that old peddler 30 her finger.) woman? YOUNG QUEEN: Ouch! ALL VILLAGERS: Yes, we’ll watch. KING: What’s wrong? PIP: You can’t miss her. She’s old and ugly. YOUNG QUEEN: I pricked my finger. (Sticks her hand out the window FLIP: Take care of yourself, my dear. and lets the blood drop on to the snow below. Looks at it out the 30 SNOW WHITE: I will. 35 window for a minute and then turns back to the AUDIENCE.) Look CHIP: Promise? at how red my blood is on the white snow. Would that I had a child SNOW WHITE: I promise. with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black ZIP: (MUSIC CUE 8d: “Seven Dwarves’ Work Song—Reprise.”) Well as the wood of the window frame. then, we’re off to work! KING: (Puts his arm around her.) Someday you will, my dear. (LIGHTS 35 SEVEN DWARVES: (Sing.) Marchin’, we go marchin’ singin’ hey hi ho! 40 SHIFT to JOSH, PEGGY SUE and MOTHER. YOUNG QUEEN EXITS UP Got to keep the rhythm when off to work we go. RIGHT.)

4 29 For Preview Only

1 awfully good. I am so very hungry. Perhaps they wouldn’t mind if 1 Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! I had a little nibble. (Eats some tiny food.) And a bed with seven We work real hard from dawn till dusk until the task is done! little pillows, oh how cute!! (Holds up a tiny pillow.) This bed looks (Sing.) When I’m workin’, workin’, is when I’m feelin’ best. so comfortable. Perhaps I could just sit down on it and rest while Gonna keep on workin’ until I’m laid to rest. 5 waiting for the people who live here to come home. (Lies down and 5 When I’m gone and buried deep down in the sand, goes to sleep. MUSIC CUE 6: “The Seven Dwarves’ Work Song.”) They’ll write it on my tombstone, DWARVES: (ENTER, marching from the back of the auditorium and “Here lies a workin’ man!” BEATING OUT THEIR THEME on their tools. [NOTE: The dwarves’ We are the seven dwarves! theme is a simple beat played out (or MIMED along with the rhythm ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! 10 on the CD) on tools, buckets, brooms, hammers, blocks of wood, 10 KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! etc.] Chant.) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! All good workers everywhere, they gonna go to heaven. TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! We work real hard from dawn till dusk until the task is done! (When FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! 15 they reach the stage, they split and move up onto the stage on CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! either side. Sing.) 15 BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! Get up in the morning before the break of day. ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! Head into the mountains, dancin’ all the way All the day we’re workin’. Come home late at night. KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! 20 Workin’, workin’, workin’, till the sun is out of sight. TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! We are the seven dwarves! PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! 20 FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! (MUSIC OUT. DWARVES 25 PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! “ENTER” the house and LIGHT their lanterns. LIGHTS UP FULL.) FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! ZIP: What’s going on here? CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! 25 KIP: Something’s definitely going on here. (They surround their dinner BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! table.) DWARVES: (Sing.) Marchin’, we go marchin’, singin’, hey hi ho! TIP: Who has been sitting in my chair? 30 Got to keep the rhythm when off to work we go. PIP: Who has been eating from my plate? Grab the tools and lunch bag, salsa down the trail. FLIP: Who has been eating my bread? All across the valley you can hear us wail. 30 CHIP: Who has been eating my vegetables? ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! BIG MIKE: Who has been sticking with my fork? KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! ZIP: Who has been cutting with my knife? 35 TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! KIP: Who has been drinking from my mug? (DWARVES move to the PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! beds.) FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! 35 TIP: (Starts to sit down.) Holy cow! What is that? (SNOW WHITE makes CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! a noise and rolls over but continues to sleep.) BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! PIP: It’s an animal! 40 ALL: (Chant.) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! FLIP: Quick hide! All good workers everywhere, they gonna go to heaven. CHIP: Aaaaahhhhhh! (DWARVES huddle together DOWN LEFT and whisper among themselves.) 16 17 DNR REP should wear a business suit or plaid pants, hat, tie, clipboard and briefcase. MOTHER wears an apron. KING, YOUNG QUEEN and EVIL QUEEN wear crowns and royal garb. SNOW WHITE and YOUNG SNOW WHITE wear a typical fairy-tale costume, such as an elegant dress or gown. LADIES IN WAITING wear dresses and carry hand mirrors. MIRROR wears a shiny costume and carries a large, oval mirror frame. If a full-length mirror frame is used as a set piece, the actor playing the MIRROR simply enters and takes his place behind the frame. He can move about freely as desired. SEVEN DWARVES and DWARF VILLAGERS have big feet and ears. Book by Barbara Lennon COMBAT HERO, ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and their MEN wear Music by Bill Francoeur camouflage or some other type of army garb. Lyrics by Bill Francoeur and Barbara Lennon DOCTOR wears scrubs, a dangling face mask and a stethoscope. HUNTSMAN is a Grizzly Adams-type in a big coat and beard. He carries a bow and arrow. © Copyright 2010, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc. DEVIL HUNTSMAN should dress like HUNTSMAN but with devil ears and tail. He should also carry a pitchfork. Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should ANGEL HUNTSMAN should dress like HUNTSMAN but with angel wings, be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155. white robe and a halo. RIBBON PEDDLER should wear tattered clothing. All rights to this musical—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign COMB PEDDLER should be well dressed and wear a dress or gown. languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission FRUIT PEDDLER should dress plainly. no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given. ANIMALS dress as a variety of animals, such as a bird, sheep, rabbit, These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America wild pig, bats, etc. and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and FLOWERS and TREES need visible faces and flexible arms with the all nations of the United Kingdom. ability to grab. APPLE could be a small child wearing an apple costume. Alternatively, ONE SCRIPT PER CAST MEMBER MUST BE PURCHASED FOR PRODUCTION RIGHTS. an oversized apple prop could be used. COPYING OR DISTRIBUTING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK WITHOUT PERMISSION IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. SOUND EFFECTS On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear: Wind, owl hoot, wolf howling, creaking branches, mysterious forest 1. The full name of the musical sounds, voices speaking to Snow White in the forest. 2. The full name of the playwright, the composer, and the lyricist 3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with LIGHTING Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Denver, Colorado” Dimmed lights, dark blue light and spotlight.

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1 ZIP: Let’s cut the strings instead! (Mimes cutting and the scarf is 1 JOSH: Red as blood?! Cooooool! loosened and comes off. SNOW WHITE sits up breathing.) PEGGY SUE: You are so immature. SNOW WHITE: Oh, what has happened? MOTHER: Would you two listen?! (Continues reading.) “Soon after that, KIP: You have fallen victim to the evil queen. she had a little daughter…” (LIGHTS SHIFT to KING, standing alone.) 5 SNOW WHITE: But I didn’t see her, only an old peddler woman. 5 DOCTOR: (ENTERS UP RIGHT with a baby in his arms.) It’s a girl! TIP: That was her, no doubt, in disguise. Congratulations. (Gives baby to KING.) This should be a joyous PIP: Thank goodness we arrived in time! (BLACKOUT.) day, but… (Dramatic pause; to AUDIENCE.) I have bad news, sire. End of Scene Three KING: Bad news? What is it? DOCTOR: I’m sorry, your majesty. But the queen… (Dramatic pause; ACT TWO 10 to AUDIENCE.) …has died. Scene Four KING: What?! No, it can’t be! Why didn’t you save her? LIGHTS UP: On the QUEEN in her workroom, DOWN LEFT. The DOCTOR: Darn it, your majesty! I’m just a country doctor. I’m not a workbench now conceals COMB PEDDLER. BATS and MIRROR are in magician. 10 workroom. KING: Nooooo!! (Falls to his knees.) Alas and alack! My beloved wife MIRROR: You didn’t expect to get away with it that easily, did you? 15 lost! (Gets back on feet.) But here is my beautiful daughter, with QUEEN: Yes! Well, no. Well, oh, I don’t know! She fell for it easily skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as enough. How was I to know those meddling dwarves would know ebony. I shall name her Snow White to remind me of my wife’s how to remove the spell? wish. (BLACKOUT. Rocking chair is removed.) 15 MIRROR: Corset ribbons are so obvious! She wasn’t breathing. Of End of Scene One course they were going to loosen them. ACT ONE QUEEN: Hey! Don’t get smart with me, Mirror, or I’ll break you into a thousand pieces! Scene Two MIRROR: That’s seven years bad luck, you know. I’m just trying to LIGHTS UP: On MOTHER, JOSH and PEGGY SUE, who are still sitting 20 on the floor DOWN RIGHT. 20 help! QUEEN: Well then, be helpful and not so critical. Now here I am, back MOTHER: (Continues reading.) “After some time, the king took at the drawing board. himself another wife. She was a beautiful woman, but she was proud and arrogant, and she could not stand it if anyone might MIRROR: Hey! How about those poison combs you used a while surpass her in beauty. She had a magic mirror… ” (LIGHTS SHIFT back? They worked pretty well. 25 to the castle room again, revealing an empty room with MIRROR 25 QUEEN: Yes! Yes, the combs! Wonderful. Oh, I’m so smart. (Brings up [an ACTOR dressed in silver who stands behind or holds up a mirror the basket of combs.) frame], covered by a blanket, UPSTAGE. [NOTE: MOTHER and KIDS MIRROR: You’re so smart? I’m the one… (Trails off as QUEEN glares may EXIT DOWN RIGHT in darkness if desired or they can remain at him.) ONSTAGE and join in any songs throughout the play at the director’s QUEEN: No girl can resist brushing her hair with a lovely comb. I shall 30 discretion.]) 30 present her with such that she cannot resist, and that will be the EVIL QUEEN: (ENTERS UP LEFT, walks over and uncovers MIRROR. She end of our pretty little Snow White! Hah! (Claps her hands. MUSIC poses a few times.) Hello, Mirror! What wonderful things do you CUE 8c: “A Pinch of This—Reprise.” Speaks.) But first to disguise have to share with me today? (Clears throat.) myself. Hmmm, the right spell is needed. (Flips pages in the big Mirror, mirror, on the wall, spell book. She begins to mix ingredients. Sings.) 35 Who in this land is fairest of all? (Waits expectantly.) 35 A pinch of this, a pinch of that… MIRROR: You, my queen, are the fairest of all. (QUEEN breaks into a An ear of dog , a toe of bat… huge smile and EXITS UP LEFT. MOUSE ENTERS with time sign that A squishy bug from where I sat! reads “SIX YEARS LATER…” LADIES-IN-WAITING ENTER UP LEFT

28 5 For Preview Only THE ROCKIN’ TALE OF SNOW WHITE Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) Basket of combs (COMB PEDDLER) Book by BARBARA LENNON • Music by BILL FRANCOEUR Lyrics by BILL FRANCOEUR AND BARBARA LENNON BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Six Workbench containing the following: tin cup, various shaped CAST OF CHARACTERS glasses with stuff in them, little tins or canisters, rubber spiders, rubber lizard, jar of apple sauce, big old spell book, FRAME STORY CHARACTERS big bottle with a skull and crossbones on it of lines Mirror frame (MIRROR) PEGGY SUE ...... 10-year-old big sister of Josh 24 Fruit cart (FRUIT PEDDLER) JOSH ...... typical 8-year-old 24 Huge kettle (can be a basket with papered sides or an empty trash can), small apple (EVIL QUEEN) MOTHER ...... a June Cleaver-type mom 20 Time signs [Six years later, many years later, two hours later, four hours later, six hours later] (MICE) PRINCIPAL STORY CHARACTERS SNOW WHITE ...... pretty and kind; speaks very 36 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Seven: sweetly and moves very lightly Glass coffin with large apple core hidden behind it Flowers, white veil (CAST MEMBERS) EVIL QUEEN ...... very beautiful, cold and spoiled; 31 Chains (MEN) strident and commanding MEREDITH ...... lady-in-waiting to the queen 5 THE GLASS COFFIN AND THE WORKBENCH MARTHA ...... another 6 In the original production, the glass coffin was made out of clear MARY ...... another 5 plastic in a wood frame. It was decorated with beautiful designs and MOLLY ...... another 5 draped with flowers. If constructing a glass coffin is not within your budget or expertise, a simple frame can be used and the glass can be MAUREEN ...... another 5 imaginary. For a completely bare bones set, SNOW WHITE can simply JUDY ...... another 7 lay on a rectangular table, and the AUDIENCE can use its imagination. MIRROR...... shiny person who has a 17 The workbench should be tall and wide enough so that each PEDDLER, jaded outlook on the world then the QUEEN, can hide inside of it for Scenes Four through Six in HUNTSMAN ...... burly kind of guy with a big heart 26 ACT TWO. If the workbench is on casters, the PEDDLERS may be rolled ZIP ...... one of the seven dwarves; a 17 on already inside the bench, and the QUEEN can be rolled off. If this good guy with big feet and ears is not an option, PEDDLERS simply enter in darkness and take their KIP ...... another 18 place inside the bench. When QUEEN ducks down, they switch places and QUEEN is rolled off in the bench or exits in darkness when the TIP ...... another 18 scene is over. PIP ...... another 16 The flats can double as backdrop for multiple scenes, so they can be FLIP...... another 15 painted on one side with stones and on the other with a forest. If a CHIP...... another 15 brace is added to the back of the flat, the flats can be laid lengthwise BIG MIKE ...... the smallest dwarf, but has 15 on the stage with the stone side facing downstage to create the village the biggest voice walls. DNR REP ...... dorky government official from 19 the Department of Natural COSTUMES Resources In general, principal characters and ensemble should wear typical fairy-tale, medieval apparel. Frame characters should dress in normal contemporary clothing.

ii 39 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT

1 and RIGHT carrying hand mirrors. They move to CENTER as MOUSE 1 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. EXITS UP RIGHT.) HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) You’re kidding, right? MEREDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, a limerick for your enjoyment. DNR REP: (Speaks.) ’Fraid not, sir. Now, if you’d come with me. MARTHA: There once was a queen so vain, HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) But I didn’t know they were protected. 5 MARY: Her mirror could not call her plain. 5 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ignorance is not an excuse, sir! It’s people like you MOLLY: If he didn’t say… that give me job security. MAUREEN: …you’re beautiful today… (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) Have you hugged a tree JUDY: …her anger would cause him great pain! (ALL LADIES laugh.) today?! (Leads confused HEAD VILLAGER OFF RIGHT. MUSIC OUT MEREDITH: But wait! We have more! (LADIES pair up and dance and 10 as RIBBON PEDDLER ENTERS UP LEFT.) 10 move through the recitation of this poem.) RIBBON PEDDLER: (Hawking her wares, calls out.) Pretty things! Pretty MARTHA: Our wit you’ll adore. things! Pretty things for pretty girls. (Pretends to bump into SNOW MARY: So give us your full attention. WHITE, who’s been shopping around the stage.) Why, my child! You MOLLY: Just lend us an ear, certainly are pretty. Would you like to look at my pretty things? 15 (Shows her the corset. [This can be a long, wide scarf with ribbons MAUREEN: But have no fear… and flowers sewn on.]) The lovely flowers on the strings of this corset 15 JUDY: …your problems we will not mention. seem just the right thing for your skin. Would you like to try it on? MEREDITH: When I look in the mirror I am happy to see… SNOW WHITE: Oh, thank you, but I simply couldn’t. MARTHA: …that no one is nearly as pretty as me! (ALL LADIES titter RIBBON PEDDLER: Oh, why not? Just for fun? It won’t kill you. (As an with laughter.) 20 aside to the AUDIENCE.) That’s what she thinks. Ha ha. MARY: As a lady-in-waiting I am lucky to wear… SNOW WHITE: It is awfully pretty. Maybe just for a minute. 20 MOLLY: …the latest in fashion and stylish hair. RIBBON PEDDLER: (Helps wrap the scarf around SNOW WHITE.) There, MAUREEN: A look in the mirror reveals what is true… see for yourself. Look into my mirror and see how lovely you are. JUDY: …that I am so much better looking than you. (Starts to pull the scarf very tight.) ALL LADIES: (Titter with laughter.) We’re pretty and lovely, so charming, 25 SNOW WHITE: Oh, it’s lovely! But, oh, why do I suddenly feel so faint? you see, and we are the envy of all we see. (MUSIC CUE 2: “Ladies- I can’t breathe. I… can’t… (To RIBBON PEDDLER.) Help… me… (Falls to the ground.) 25 in-Waiting.” Sing.) We are the ladies, ladies-in-waiting. We represent the finest in the land. RIBBON PEDDLER: Ha ha! I have won! (EXITS LEFT while VILLAGERS We’re cute! We’re hot! It’s so humiliating, gather around SNOW WHITE.) Waiting on the queen with this stupid mirror in my hand. 30 VILLAGER 1: Oh, look at Snow White! Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! VILLAGER 2: What has happened?! 30 Every day we wait, wait! VILLAGER 3: (To the ANIMALS.) Quick, go fetch the seven! Tell them Every night we tuck her in, there is trouble for Snow White! (ANIMALS EXIT UP LEFT.) Wake up again and… VILLAGER 4: She’s barely breathing. (DWARVES and more ANIMALS LADIES ONE: (Sing as melody with LADIES TWO singing backup vocals.) 35 come running ON UP LEFT.) We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. ZIP: What is it? 35 It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. KIP: Trouble with Snow White? Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game! TIP: (Rushes to SNOW WHITE’S side.) Oh, dear! Is she dead? LADIES TWO: (Sing backup vocals to LADIES ONE’S melody.) PIP: She’s barely breathing! Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! 40 FLIP: Quick! Loosen this corset! Untie the ribbons! 40 Every day we wait, wait! CHIP: I can’t. It’s as if it won’t let go!! Every night we wait, wait! BIG MIKE: Ah-hah! Evil magic from the queen, no doubt. 6 27 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only Fabric, needle, thread (YOUNG QUEEN) ENSEMBLE Doll wrapped in blanket, stethoscope (DOCTOR) PRINCE CHARMING ...... tall, suave, handsome and heroic 4 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Two: PRINCE CHARMING’S MEN...... as many as desired 2 Blanket covering (MIRROR) COMBAT HERO Hand mirrors (LADIES IN WAITING) SOLDIER PRINCE ...... handsome, heroic and macho; 4 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Three: wears camouflage or army garb Handkerchief box (MARTHA) COMBAT HERO Bow and arrow (HUNTSMAN) SOLDIER PRINCE’S MEN ...... as many as desired 2 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Four: ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE ...... combination of Prince Charming 9 Bouquet of flowers (SNOW WHITE) and the Combat Hero—handsome, Bow and arrow, handkerchief box (HUNTSMAN) heroic and macho with army garb Clipboard, briefcase (DNR REP) ROMANTIC HERO BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Six: PRINCE’S MEN ...... as many as desired 4 Lanterns, tools [buckets, brooms, hammers, blocks of wood, etc.] (SEVEN DWARVES) YOUNG QUEEN ...... Snow White’s mother; sweet, 4 pretty and calm BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Seven: Hand mirrors (LADIES IN WAITING) KING ...... older than the queen; very serious 9 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene One: DOCTOR ...... wears scrubs, dangling face 3 Milk and snack (KIDS) mask and stethoscope Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF DEVIL ...... same as the Huntsman, but with 11 VILLAGERS) red horns, tail and pitchfork Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) ANGEL ...... same as the Huntsman, but with 9 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Two: wings and a halo Workbench (big enough for someone to hide behind) containing LITTLE BIRD ...... seeks to warn Snow White of her 3 the following: tin cup, various shaped glasses with stuff in impending death them, little tins or canisters, rubber spiders, rubber lizard, DWARF VILLAGERS ...... very animated, bouncy and 22 store receipt, big old spell book (old phone book with a fake dorky with big ears and big feet; cover would work.), basket with corset (scarf with ribbons) at least four; as many as desired BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Three: HEAD VILLAGER ...... tallest dwarf; sells flowers 10 Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF RIBBON PEDDLER ...... ugly, haggish old woman 4 VILLAGERS) Clipboard, briefcase (DNR REP) COMB PEDDLER ...... evil, pretty, young and charming 3 Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) FRUIT PEDDLER ...... evil, tall, normal-looking man 4 Corset with ribbons, hand mirror (RIBBON PEDDLER) Pocketknife or scissors (ZIP) NON-SPEAKING ROLES BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Four: YOUNG SNOW WHITE ...... about age seven Workbench containing the following: tin cup, various shaped SHEEP* ...... cute and little; follow Snow White glasses with stuff in them, little tins or canisters, rubber WILD PIG ...... panicked at the thought of the spiders, rubber lizard, hair brushes and scrunchies, hairspray, Hunstman running him down big old spell book, basket of combs WOODLAND ANIMALS 1-4 ...... such as bears, foxes, rabbits, BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Five: squirrels, bunnies, birds, deer, Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF VILLAGERS) chipmunks, wolves, bees, etc.

38 iii RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT

1 ALL: (Speak.) And together we are the seven dwarves. 1 LADIES TWO: (Sing as melody with LADIES ONE singing backup vocals.) ZIP: (Speaks.) See— We got the hair. We got the looks. We could be in all the glamour books. KIP: (Speaks.) —you— The woman ain’t got nothin’ on us. TIP: (Speaks.) —real— 5 So why the drama, why the fuss? 5 PIP: (Speaks.) —soon! LADIES ONE: (Sing backup vocals to LADIES TWO’S melody.) FLIP: (Speaks.) Have— Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! CHIP: (Speaks.) —a— Every day we wait, wait! BIG MIKE: (Speaks.) —great day!! (DWARVES march OFF UP LEFT. Every night we wait, wait! MUSIC OUT. SNOW WHITE waves good-bye, turns and starts 10 ALL LADIES: (Sing.) Bewitching and bedazzling, 10 shopping. Scene’s focus turns to DNR REP, who ENTERS LEFT and The boys all fall at our feet. starts poking around the dwarf village. He spies HEAD VILLAGER, We’ve got the zoom, we’ve got the zing! who is selling flowers from his cart. MUSIC CUE 8b: “Natural A cute little dolly, sugar sweet! Resource Man Jingle—Reprise.”) Drop dead gorgeous head to feet! DNR REP: (Speaks.) Excuse me, but may I take a closer look at your 15 We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. 15 flowers? It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Be my guest. Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game. DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ah-ha! Just as I expected. You are selling the showy lady slipper (or insert state flower here). This is a flower Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! rarely seen in the wild and is now federally protected. This is an 20 Every day we wait, wait! Every night we tuck her in, 20 illegal activity. Wake up again and… HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Who are you? Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! DNR REP: (Speaks.) I’m Mel Merman, representative for the Every day we wait, wait! Department of Natural Resources… (To AUDIENCE.) …otherwise 25 Every night we tuck her in, known as the D-N-R. Wake up again and wait! 25 HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) You’re who? From the department of Wait, wait! (MUSIC OUT. LADIES stop as the QUEEN RE-ENTERS UP what?! LEFT.) DNR REP: (Speaks.) Mel Merman is my name. Natural resources are JUDY: (Goes DOWN CENTER, leans toward the AUDIENCE and whispers my game! (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. 30 loudly.) The queen is a beauty, I’m yer natural resource man! (TO AUDIENCE. Speaks.) Yes, folks, But make no mistake, 30 once again, it’s all about natural resource protection. This beautiful Her heart is just rotten, and delicate plant became the state flower of(Insert state name Her stare makes you quake. (The REST of the LADIES and the and information about the flower here.) Minnesota in 1902, and QUEEN join JUDY at CENTER.) it became protected by state law in 1925. It is illegal to pick or 35 MOTHER’S VOICE: (From DOWN RIGHT or OFFSTAGE. Reads as YOUNG uproot a showy lady slipper flower in Minnesota. This rare plant SNOW WHITE ENTERS LEFT and frolics across the scene, followed 35 has vanished from much of its historical range due to habitat loss. by her herd of pet SHEEP.) “Snow White grew up and became ever (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. more beautiful.” (YOUNG SNOW WHITE and SHEEP cross the stage I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) So now you know, sir. You and EXIT RIGHT. The LADIES titter and coo. QUEEN watches her are participating in an illegal activity. 40 walk past, rather disinterested.) “When she was seven years old, HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Illegal? she was already as beautiful as the light of day.” (QUEEN crosses 40 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. to RIGHT. MOUSE ENTERS with time sign that reads, “MANY YEARS HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) In this village? LATER…” then EXITS.) “Her beauty continued to grow until one day she was even more beautiful than the queen herself…” (OLDER 26 7 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only FOREST TREES...... have limbs that grab at Snow White 1 We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. FOREST FLOWERS ...... colorful, with green bodies Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic BATS ...... for queen’s “spell” scenes over hill and dale. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little MICE ...... mark the passage of time with signs 5 rockin’ tale! APPLE ...... small actor or actress pulled from Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ queen’s large cauldron (this could tale! (ACTORS begin stepping forward for BOWS.) also be a large prop.) We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nailbitin’ mystery. *NOTE: Sheep have been incorporated into this play because the We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. costumes exist at the school where the original production took place 10 Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic and can be reused every year. Feel free to substitute other more over hill and dale. foresty animals if you desire. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! SET DESCRIPTION Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little There are several locations in this play—a living room, a castle room, 15 rockin’ tale! a forest, the dwarves’ house, the dwarf village and the queen’s (ENSEMBLE takes one final GROUP BOW. GUYS bow from the waist, workroom—all of which can be represented simply. Several locations GIRLS curtsey. LIGHTS FADE to BLACK, FINAL CURTAIN or DIRECT will appear onstage simultaneously for ease of production. There is SEGUE into MUSIC CUE 9b: “Optional Choral Finale/Exit Music,” in a living room DOWN RIGHT which consists of a bookshelf, optional which case LIGHTS DIM.) chair and a rug. The castle room is on the MAIN STAGE, represented 20 Star bright, soon will be glimm’ring down. by a rocking chair, wall flats and a window. For later scenes, the Nighttime will soon be ‘round bringing its peace and quiet. dwarves’ house is on the MAIN STAGE with a small table and seven Treetops singing their lullaby, whisp’ring to you and I, small chairs along with a bed with seven small pillows. The forest can “There will be love and joy someday.” be represented by a bare stage with an optional backdrop of trees END OF PLAY and flowers. For the dwarf village scenes, the castle flats are turned around to become the village walls. For the queen’s workroom, a large workbench is rolled onstage along with a large kettle. A “glass coffin” is rolled on for the first and last scenes of the play. (See PRODUCTION PRODUCTION NOTES NOTES for details.) See set designs on page viii. PROPERTIES SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ONSTAGE: ACT ONE LIVING ROOM: Bookshelf with a few books, optional chair, rug Scene One: The living room, castle room and coffin display. CASTLE ROOM: Rocking chair (for scene one only), window (frame must be black), optional castle wall flats Scene Two: The living room and castle room. FOREST: Optional backdrop of trees and flowers Scene Three: The living room and castle room. DWARVES’ HOUSE: Tiny table set with seven place settings with Scene Four: The forest. tiny food on them, seven tiny chairs, bed with seven tiny Scene Five: A different part of the forest. pillows DWARF VILLAGE: Castle wall flats Scene Six: The dwarves’ house. QUEEN’S WORKROOM: Large workbench and kettle Scene Seven: The living room and castle room. BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene One: Glass coffin (CAST MEMBERS) Princess doll (PEGGY SUE) Soldier action figure (JOSH)

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1 SNOW WHITE ENTERS RIGHT, frolicking across the stage, followed 1 now to finish the task… (Grabs the basket with the corset [scarf] by her herd of pet SHEEP.) and ribbons and EXITS LEFT. BLACKOUT. [NOTE: Workroom set SHEEP: Snow White is so baaaaa-oootiful. (QUEEN does a double take pieces do not have to be removed from the stage until after ACT this time. SNOW WHITE and SHEEP EXIT LEFT.) TWO, Scene Six.]) 5 MEREDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, another limerick for your End of Scene Two enjoyment. ACT TWO MARTHA: There once was a girl named Snow White. Scene Three MARY: And she was a very pretty sight. 5 LIGHTS UP: On dwarf village on MAIN STAGE. VILLAGERS ENTER LEFT MOLLY: Her stepmother, the queen… and RIGHT and begin milling about doing their little dwarf village things 10 MAUREEN: …was really quite mean. again. Several ANIMALS, TREES and FLOWERS are scattered around JUDY: I think Snow White should take flight!( ALL LADIES smile and the stage. SNOW WHITE and SEVEN DWARVES ENTER UP RIGHT. titter again, but when the QUEEN scowls at them, they quickly scurry SNOW WHITE: All right! I hear you, but I’ll be fine! Really, I will. OFF UP RIGHT. QUEEN walks UPSTAGE to the MIRROR.) 10 ZIP: I know you think that, but you don’t know how crafty she can be! QUEEN: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, KIP: We only say this for your own protection. 15 Who in this land is fairest of all? (Waits expectantly.) TIP: And we ask this of our friends in the village, as well. MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair—it is true. But Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. PIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Please watch out for Snow White. QUEEN: What?! I… I… what did you say?! FLIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Keep a sharp eye out for the evil queen, coming 15 to do Snow White harm! MIRROR: Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. ALL VILLAGERS: We will. 20 QUEEN: What?! CHIP: Enjoy your day shopping, but when you are home alone, lock MIRROR: (Yells and speaks very slowly.) I said, Snow White is a the door! thousand— SNOW WHITE: She would never try anything in front of all of these QUEEN: I heard you the first time! 20 people! MIRROR: Well then, why did you ask again? BIG MIKE: Probably not, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful. 25 QUEEN: You’re lying! And just for that, I’m going to hit you with a SNOW WHITE: I promise. (MUSIC CUE 8a: “The Seven Dwarves’ Work hammer and break you into a thousand pieces! How would you Song—Reprise.”) like that? ZIP: (Speaks.) Well then, we’re off to work! MIRROR: Go ahead. It is impossible for me to lie to you, your majesty. You know that. I’m a mirror, for heaven’s sake. I can only reflect 25 SEVEN DWARVES: (Sing.) Get up in the morning, before the break of day. 30 what I see. So go ahead, wreck me. See if I ever talk to you again. Head into the mountains, dancin’ all the way. QUEEN: (Whines.) She is a child! There is no way she is prettier than All the day we’re workin’. Come home late at night. me. Workin’, workin’, workin’ till the sun is out of sight. MIRROR: Look, I call ’em like I see ’em. (QUEEN makes a sound of 30 We are the seven dwarves! anger and disgust and EXITS UP RIGHT. MUSIC CUE 3: “I’m Just a ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! 35 Mirror.” Raps to AUDIENCE.) Hey, look! I’m a mirror, and I can really see ya. KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! But check it out now, I wouldn’t wanna be ya. TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! She thinks she’s pretty, the best in the city. PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! She got no heart. She got no pity. 35 FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! 40 She the queen, a bad scene. CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! She the queen. The queen of mean! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! 8 25 For Preview Only 1 QUEEN: (Looks at DNR REP, fairly confused.) What? (The chains start ACT TWO to work their magic, and the QUEEN starts to dance.) No! Scene One: The living room and dwarf village. DNR REP: Ma’am, you’ll have to come with me to answer some Scene Two: The queen’s workroom questions. Scene Three: The dwarf village. 5 MEREDITH: (To DNR REP.) Sir, may we have a moment before you Scene Four: The queen’s workroom. take the queen away? (DNR REP nods. To AUDIENCE.) Ladies and gentlemen, a final limerick. Scene Five: The dwarf village. MARTHA: There once was a queen so pale, Scene Six: The queen’s workroom. MARY: As the soldiers took her off to jail, Scene Seven: Coffin display. 10 MOLLY: We were happy to say… CHARACTERS IN EACH SCENE MAUREEN: …good-bye and good day. JUDY: And I don’t think she’ll ever make bail! ACT ONE ALL LADIES: (To QUEEN.) Bye-bye! (PRINCE’S MEN take QUEEN OFF as Scene One ...... Josh, Peggy Sue, Mother, Prince she dances, with the DNR REP following on her heels. EVERYONE Charming and Men, Combat Hero 15 FREEZES. MOTHER and KIDS step DOWNSTAGE. The KIDS sit at and Men, Young Queen, King, her feet.) Doctor, Snow White MOTHER: (Finishes the story.) And they all lived… Scene Two ...... Evil Queen, Mirror, Mother, Josh, KIDS: …happily ever after! (MUSIC CUE 9a: “Epilogue/Curtain Call.” Peggy Sue, Ladies-in-Waiting, Young BLACKOUT. ENSEMBLE UNFREEZES and again files across the Snow White, Older Snow White, 20 FRONT OF THE STAGE as in the top of the show. LIGHTS UP on the Sheep ENSEMBLE.) Scene Three ...... Evil Queen, Huntsman, Mother, ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Josh, Peggy Sue, Martha, Judy We got a tale, a magical, marvelous, song-filled serenade. Scene Four ...... Huntsman, Angel and Devil We got a tale, a fun-packed escapade. Huntsmen, DNR Rep, Snow 25 Yes, we’re gonna wail, singin’ and a shoutin’ and a dancin’ till my White, Little Bird, Wild Pig, Sheep, feet both fail. Woodland Animals, Flowers, Trees Yes, it’s Snow White’s, hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! Scene Five ...... Snow White, Woodland Animals, GIRLS: (PRINCE steps forward and shows off muscles. Sing.) Trees, Flowers 30 We got a prince, a muscle-bound, handsome, buff and studly Scene Six ...... Snow White, Seven Dwarves macho guy! Scene Seven...... Evil Queen, Mirror, Mother, Josh, GUYS: (SNOW WHITE steps forward, smiles and curtseys to AUDIENCE. Peggy Sue, Ladies-in-Waiting Sing.) We got a girl, a sugar and spice and-a everything nice little ACT TWO cutie pie! Scene One ...... Josh, Peggy Sue, Mother, Dwarf 35 ALL: (QUEEN steps forward and gives the audience the evil eye. Sing.) Villagers, Snow White, a few We got a queen, an evil-eyed, funkified, lean and mean total Woodland Animals, Tree, Flower wicked machine! Scene Two ...... Evil Queen, Ribbon Peddler, Bats DWARVES: (Step forward. Sing.) Scene Three ...... Snow White, Seven Dwarves, Ribbon And we got dwarves, feisty little dwarves. The rockinest you’ve Peddler, Dwarf Villagers, a few 40 ever seen! Woodland Animals, Trees, DNR Rep, ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Flowers We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nailbitin’ mystery.

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1 An ear of dog, a toe of bat, 1 She the queen, a drama queen. A squishy bug from where I sat. She the queen, oh, yeah, the queen of mean! Mix ’em all together! (Turning another page, speaks.) Hmmm, let’s And now there’s another who’s beauty is above ‘er. see what else this recipe calls for. And she just can’t stand that she’s her stepmother. 5 (Sings.) A pinch of this, a pinch of that, 5 Snow White’s a beauty, A spider leg, a tail of rat, I’ve done my duty by tellin’ the truth. A hairball from an old black cat, The queen thinks she’s sweet, but she ain’t no Baby Ruth. Mix ’em all together! (Stirring the mixture, speaks.) Awww, it’s lookin’ good. (Sticks her finger in the concoction and takes a taste.) She the queen, a bad scene. 10 Tastes good, too! She the queen, the queen of mean! (Sings to AUDIENCE.) Can I take it to the bridge? 10 She the queen, a drama queen. BATS: (Trying to elicit a response of “Yeah” from the AUDIENCE, speak.) She the queen, uh-huh, the queen of mean! Yeah! (Sing.) Take it to the bridge! Everyone needs a mirror, to see a little clearer. QUEEN: (Sings.) Can I take it to the bridge? I see you, but do you see me? If you’re not real, then how can I be? 15 BATS: (Speak.) Yeah! (Sing.) Take it to the bridge! 15 And how can perfection be in a reflection? QUEEN: (Sings.) Can I take it to the bridge? Don’t ask me, it’s a mystery. BATS: (Speak.) Yeah! (Sing.) Take it to the bridge! I’m just a mirror! Yeah! (MUSIC OUT. BLACKOUT.) QUEEN: (Sings.) Let me take it to the bridge! End of Scene Two. BATS: (Sing.) Yeah! Boom cha-ka-la-ka-la-ka, take it to the bridge! 20 QUEEN: (Shouts.) Hit me! ACT ONE BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down! Scene Three QUEEN: (Sings.) That girl is goin’ down! LIGHTS UP: On MOTHER, JOSH and PEGGY SUE, who are sitting on She’s goin’… the floor DOWN RIGHT. BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down, 20 MOTHER: (Continues to read.) “From that hour on, whenever the 25 QUEEN: (Sings.) Don’t want that girl aroun’! queen looked at Snow White, her heart turned over inside her BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down! body, so great was her hatred for the girl. The envy and pride grew ever greater, like a weed in her heart, until she had no peace day QUEEN: (Sings.) That girl is goin’ down! and night.” She’s goin’… 25 JOSH: What does that mean? BATS/QUEEN: (Sing.) Down, down, down, 30 That girl is leavin’ town! PEGGY SUE: It means the queen was really jealous and every day it got worse. QUEEN: (A grunt.) Hah! (Speaks.) Lookin’ funky, lookin’ fine! That prissy girl is mine! (Sings.) A drop or two of piggie slop, JOSH: I didn’t ask you, I asked Mom. Mom, what does that mean? A sales receipt, she’ll wanna shop. MOTHER: (Sighs.) It means the queen was really jealous and every BATS: (Sing.) Lacy ribbons’ll make her drop. 30 day it got worse. (LIGHTS SHIFT to MAIN STAGE. MOTHER and KIDS EXIT DOWN RIGHT. We find the QUEEN pacing back and forth in a 35 QUEEN: (Sings.) Mix ’em all together! crabby mood.) BATS: (Sing.) Mix ’em all together! QUEEN: (Stops and snaps her fingers. MARTHA immediately ENTERS QUEEN: (Sings.) Mix ’em all together! (Speaks.) Whooo! (MUSIC OUT.) UP RIGHT to do her bidding and curtsies.) Fetch me my fine That should do it. (Takes a big gulp and starts choking. Falls to handkerchief box from my room. knees behind the big workbench.) 35 MARTHA: Yes, my lady. (EXITS UP RIGHT. QUEEN continues her pacing. 40 RIBBON PEDDLER: (After a short pause, comes up gasping for air.) Ha Stops and snaps her fingers again. JUDY ENTERS UP LEFT to do her ha ha! She’ll never recognize me as an old peddler woman! And bidding and curtsies.)

24 9 For Preview Only Scene Four ...... Evil Queen, Comb Peddler, Mirror, 1 SNOW WHITE/WOMEN/PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing as a duet Bats with the CHORUS.) There’s gonna be a celebration. Scene Five ...... Snow White, Seven Dwarves, Comb Tell all the people on your way. Peddler, Dwarf Villagers, a few We’re gonna have a celebration. Woodland Animals, Trees, Flowers 5 There’s gonna be a wedding day! Scene Six ...... Evil Queen, Mirror, Apple, Fruit CHORUS: (Sings as a duet with SNOW WHITE and PRINCE.) Peddler, Bats, Mice Come on and celebrate, celebrate. Scene Seven...... Entire Cast Come on and see them on their way. Come on and celebrate, celebrate. SEQUENCE OF MUSICAL NUMBERS 10 There’s gonna be a wedding day. PROLOGUE ALL: (Sing.) Way, hey, time to dance and play. Gonna be a night beyond compare. MC 1 SNOW WHITE’S HIP-HOP, Way, hey, everybody sway. DOO-WOP, BE-BOP, FUNKY Can you feel the magic in the air? LITTLE ROCKIN’ TALE...... Ensemble 15 Feel the love and magic in the air! ACT ONE Can you feel the magic in the… MC 1a PRINCE CHARMING FANFARE ...... Instrumental SNOW WHITE/WOMEN/PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing.) …air?! MC 1b COMBAT HERO SOLDIER CHORUS: (Sings.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate! PRINCE FANFARE ...... Instrumental Come on and celebrate, celebrate! MC 1c PRINCE CHARMING FANFARE ...... Instrumental 20 ALL: (Sing.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate! MC 1d COMBAT HERO SOLDIER Come on and celebrate, celebrate! (MUSIC OUT.) PRINCE FANFARE ...... Instrumental KING: (Welcomes his daughter.) I have been told your tale, Snow MC 2 LADIES IN WAITING ...... Ladies in Waiting White, and I am horrified at the actions of your evil stepmother, MC 3 I’M JUST A MIRROR ...... Mirror the queen. (EVIL QUEEN ENTERS LEFT with her LADIES-IN-WAITING. 25 ALL boo.) MC 4 SOMEDAY ...... Snow White, Animals ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Grab that evil woman and put her in MC 5 THE RIGHT WAY...OR MY WAY ...... Huntsman, Devil, chains! (PRINCE’S MEN grab the QUEEN.) Angel ROMANTIC MAN 1: For attempting to hurt this child with your evil MC 5a NATURAL RESOURCE MAN JINGLE ...... DNR Rep magic— MC 5b THE ENCHANTED FOREST ...... Instrumental/SFX 30 ROMANTIC MAN 2: —you will be made to suffer at the hands of your MC 6 THE SEVEN DWARVES’ own evil magic! WORK SONG ...... Dwarves ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Bring forth the magic chains! (PRINCE’S MC 6a THE SEVEN DWARVES’ MEN bring forth the chains and show them to everyone.) WORK SONG—Reprise ...... Instrumental ROMANTIC MAN 3: These enchanted chains will cause you to dance ACT TWO 35 forever! MC 6b ENTR’ACTE–SEVEN DWARVES’ ROMANTIC MAN 1: And you will regret the day you used your magic WORK SONG ...... Instrumental for evil! (MEN fasten chains to QUEEN’S wrists and ankles.) MC 7 HAVE YA HEARD? ...... Villagers ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: You will never hurt anyone ever again! MC 8 A PINCH OF THIS ...... Queen, Bats DNR REP: Uh, ma’am. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mel MC 8a THE SEVEN DWARVES’ WORK 40 Merman, and I work for the Department of Natural Resources. May SONG—Reprise ...... Dwarves I say it is a pleasure to meet you. Now, on to business. Is it true that you ordered the destruction of a wild pig?

vi 35 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT

1 QUEEN: Summon my huntsman. 1 VILLAGER 1: But don’t they realize they must be in danger? JUDY: Yes, my lady. (EXITS UP LEFT. MARTHA RE-ENTERS UP RIGHT VILLAGER 3: She must have enchanted them! with the box, hands it to QUEEN, curtsies and EXITS UP RIGHT. JUDY VILLAGER 2: What shall we do? RE-ENTERS UP LEFT with the HUNTSMAN, who carries a bow and VILLAGER 3: Our village is not safe! 5 arrow. JUDY curtsies to QUEEN and EXITS UP LEFT.) 5 VILLAGER 4: (Sees SNOW WHITE approaching down the aisle through QUEEN: You are my loyal servant? the AUDIENCE.) Look out! Here she comes! HUNTSMAN: Of course, milady. VILLAGER 2: Quick, hide yourselves! QUEEN: And you will do whatever I ask? VILLAGER 3: Hide the children! (ALL the VILLAGERS try to hide HUNTSMAN: Of course, milady. themselves or their faces.) 10 QUEEN: Take Snow White out into the woods. I never want to see her 10 SNOW WHITE: (Moves up ONSTAGE.) Excuse me. again. Kill her, and as proof that she is dead, bring her lungs and VILLAGER 1: Oh, can I help you, miss? her liver back to me. Deliver them to me in this box. SNOW WHITE: Could you show me the way to the market? HUNTSMAN: Kill her?! But, milady, surely not! (Drops to one knee and pleads.) Do not ask me to do such a thing. Snow White is so HEAD VILLAGER: Surely, miss. Down the road and left at the general store. 15 gentle, so kind, so lovely. I cannot kill such a delicate flower. QUEEN: You will do as I say, or you yourself will die! 15 SNOW WHITE: Thank you, kind sir! (Walks away and then stops and turns back.) Aren’t you kind of tall for a dwarf? HUNTSMAN: (Stands up and bows rather stiffly.) Yes, milady. (BLACKOUT.) HEAD VILLAGER: As a matter of fact, I hold the record for the world’s tallest dwarf! End of Scene Three SNOW WHITE: Really?! Wow! Impressive. ACT ONE 20 HEAD VILLAGER: Thanks. Scene Four VILLAGER 2: She seems nice. IN DARKNESS: The forest—a bare stage. (Stone wall flats for castle VILLAGER 4: Yes, she does. 20 can be turned around for forest background, or forest can be achieved VILLAGER 3: And I didn’t see any horns! (BLACKOUT.) simply by live actors as TREES and FLOWERS.) End of Scene One MOTHER’S VOICE: (Reads from OFF DOWN RIGHT.) “The huntsman obeyed and took Snow White into the woods…” (MUSIC CUE 4: ACT TWO “Someday.” LIGHTS COME UP, revealing optional forest background, Scene Two 25 some FLOWERS and TREES. SNOW WHITE ENTERS LEFT, holding LIGHTS UP: On QUEEN in her workroom, DOWN LEFT. MUSIC CUE a bouquet and gathering flowers with the herd of SHEEP following. 25 8: “A Pinch of This.” We see a cauldron on top of a large workbench LITTLE BIRD ENTERS LEFT. The WOODLAND ANIMALS start to sneak (should be large enough to conceal RIBBON PEDDLER, who is hiding ONSTAGE. SNOW WHITE greets them.) inside, along with all the props. See PRODUCTION NOTES.) TWO (or ANIMAL 1: (Speaks.) Oh, Snow White, you are so gentle. How can you more) BATS are perched on either side of workbench. 30 stay so kind and gentle? QUEEN: (Speaks.) I must think of a way to get rid of Snow White. I SNOW WHITE: (Speaks.) As a child, my father told me, “Blessed 30 simply must be the most beautiful woman in the entire land. But are we. Remember this—life’s not that long, it is but moments how? Ah-hah! I have it. No girl can resist beautiful clothes. Well, I to be savored, filled with bliss. There are treasures around us shall present her with such that she cannot resist! (An evil laugh.) everywhere for us to behold.” One quick pull on the corset ribbons to cut off her breath, and 35 ANIMAL 2: (Speaks.) Treasures? I see no treasure. I see rain. it’s “Sayonara, Snow White!” Hah! (Claps her hands.) But first, to SNOW WHITE: (Speaks.) I see silver. 35 disguise myself. Hmmm, the right spell is needed. (Flips pages in a big spell book. Begins to mix ingredients.) Let’s see… ANIMAL 3: (Speaks.) I see sunshine. (Sings.) A pinch of this, a pinch of that,

10 23 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 EVERYONE: Hooray!! (MUSIC CUE 9: “Wedding Day.” The ENTIRE MC 8b NATURAL RESOURCE MAN CAST—except MOTHER, KIDS, QUEEN and LADIES-IN-WAITING— JINGLE—Reprise ...... DNR Rep ENTERS from all directions. SOME carry flowers. SNOW WHITE is MC 8c A PINCH OF THIS—Reprise ...... Queen, Bats draped with a white veil so it looks like a wedding.) MC 8d THE SEVEN DWARVES’ 5 CHORUS: (Sings, a soft chant.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate. WORK SONG—Reprise ...... Dwarves Come on and see them on their way. MC 8e A PINCH OF THIS—Reprise ...... Queen, Bats Come on and celebrate, celebrate. There’s gonna be a wedding day. MC 8f PRINCE CHARMING FANFARE ...... Instrumental (CHANT continues softly under solo verses.) MC 9 WEDDING DAY ...... Ensemble 10 PRINCE: (Sings.) Another happy ending to a fairytale. EPILOGUE/CURTAIN CALL SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) MC 9a SNOW WHITE’S HIP-HOP, Seems that all is well, the kingdom will prevail. DOO-WOP, BE-BOP, FUNKY PRINCE: (Sings.) I can’t believe I get to spend my life with you. LITTLE ROCKIN’ TALE—Reprise ...... Ensemble SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) MC 9b SOMEDAY—Reprise (optional 15 I just can’t believe my dreams have all come true. chorale finale or exit music.) ...... Ensemble SNOW WHITE/PRINCE: (Sing as a duet with CHORUS.) There’s gonna be a celebration. Tell all the people on your way. We’re gonna have a celebration. 20 There’s gonna be a wedding day! CHORUS: (Sings as a duet with SNOW WHITE and PRINCE.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate. Come on and see them on their way. Come on and celebrate, celebrate. 25 There’s gonna be a wedding day. ALL: (Sing.) Way, hey, time to dance and play. Gonna be a night beyond compare. Way, hey, everybody sway. Can you feel the magic in the air? 30 CHORUS: (Softly chants under the following verse.) Come on and celebrate, celebrate. Come on and see them on their way. Come on and celebrate, celebrate. We’re gonna have a wedding day. 35 PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing.) It’s only the beginning of the fantasy. SNOW WHITE/WOMEN: (Sing.) Together we will share a life, a destiny. PRINCE/ROMANTIC MEN: (Sing.) 40 A new and bold adventure’s only just begun. SNOW WHITE/WOMEN: (Sing.) I know we’ll be together when our journey’s done.

34 vii RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT

1 GROUP 3: (Sings.) ’Bout the house. 1 SNOW WHITE: (Speaks.) I see gold. GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) Have ya seen it? ANIMAL 4: (Speaks.) Leaves? GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep! SNOW WHITE: (Laughs gently. Speaks.) Emeralds! (Looks around.) (Sings.) Dark and dirty ’n’ gross! Isn’t it lovely here? 5 GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Oh, my! 5 (Sings.) Sunshine, I feel it all around, Brilliantly shining down, smiling so warm and friendly. GROUP 1: (Sings.) The girl must be crazy! GROUP 2: (Sings.) Desp’rate! Blue skies, far as the eye can see, Calling to you and me, time for a new beginning. GROUP 4: (Sings.) Or mean! Someday, I’ll find my true love. I pray he won’t delay. ALL: (Sing. To AUDIENCE.) What kind of tutti frutti mean thief 10 ANIMALS: (Sing.) Moonlight… SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) Ah, ah. 10 would break into a house! Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? Shines on the woods we roam. Ah, ah. This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. This is our forest home, Ah, ah. Where we all live together. Ah, ah. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round that’s been givin’ me a fright, And all I can do is lie and pray for daylight SNOW WHITE: (Sings.) Someday… ANIMALS: (Sing.) Ah, ah. 15 15 Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! …I’ll find my true love. Ah, ah. I pray… Ah, ah. GROUP 1: (Sings.) Have ya heard? ALL: (Sing.) …he’s on his way. GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what? Star bright, soon will be glimm’ring down, GROUP 1: (Sings.) The girl has two heads! Nighttime will soon be ’round bringing its peace and quiet. GROUPS 2, 3, 4: (Speak in rhythm.) Two heads? 20 Treetops, singing their lullaby, whisp’ring to you and I, 20 GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep! And horns! “There will be love and joy someday.” (MUSIC OUT.) GROUP 2, 3, 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Oh, no! SHEEP: It’s a baaaaa-oootiful day. (SHEEP and ANIMALS wander OFF GROUP 3: (Sings.) Could be part goat, could be part devil! UP RIGHT.) ALL: (Sing.) Goodness gracious, we hope you’re on the level! SNOW WHITE: Hello, pretty bird! How are you today? GROUP 2: (Sings.) That’s cool! 25 LITTLE BIRD: Better than you, I fear. 25 GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Not cool! SNOW WHITE: Why, little bird! How can you say such a thing? It is GROUP 1: (Sings.) That’s weird. such a lovely day, and the huntsman yonder has been kind enough to be my protector as I gather these lovely flowers. GROUP 3: (Sings.) It’s scary. LITTLE BIRD: Yonder huntsman means to harm you! GROUP 4: (Sings.) Heard she’s tall and hairy. 30 SNOW WHITE: What?! (Laughs.) Oh, I am sure you are mistaken. I ALL: (Sing.) So there’s a crazy, mean, two-headed, tall demon girl, have known him since I was very young. He is a good and kind 30 Livin’ with the seven dwarves… think I’m gonna hurl! man. GROUP 4: (Speaks.) And don’t forget… she’s hairy too! LITTLE BIRD: Listen to me, Snow White! I speak the truth. The word ALL: (Sing.) So there’s a crazy, mean, two-headed, has traveled through the forest, carried on the wings of my brothers Tall ’n’ hairy demon girl 35 and sisters. He intends to kill you!! (SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD Livin’ with the seven dwarves… think I’m gonna hurl! (To AUDIENCE.) FREEZE. LIGHTS SHIFT to SPOTLIGHT on the HUNTSMAN, who is 35 Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? now walking ON LEFT.) This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. HUNTSMAN: (Carries bow and arrow and handkerchief box, obviously There’s a rumor goin’ ’round ’bout a demon in the woods, very troubled by the task awaiting him. MUSIC CUE 5: “The Right Livin’ with the seven, really gross little hoods! 40 Way… Or My Way.”) What should I do? Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! ANGEL: (ENTERS UP RIGHT and moves to one side of HUNTSMAN. Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! (MUSIC OUT.) Speaks.) What should you do?! Shame on you!! Why, let her go, of course! 22 11 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 CHIP: We have lost our fair Snow White. Set Design — The Rockin’ Tale of Snow White ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: The beauty in the case of glass? Yes! I’ve heard of her. May I see her? Dwarf Village Scenes BIG MIKE: Yes. Let the prince approach. (ANIMALS and DWARVES 5 back away and allow him to see SNOW WHITE.) ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (Gasps.) I have never seen such beauty! Even in death. Please, let me bring her to my castle. I will build a shrine and protect her always. I will give you all the gold you want. ZIP: Take our Snow White?! 10 KIP: Well, I don’t know. TIP: We couldn’t part with her for all the gold in the world. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Please, I will honor her and respect her as my most cherished one. FLIP: Really? 15 CHIP: Men, let’s huddle! (DWARVES huddle up.) BIG MIKE: Okay, Prince. We agree, but only if we can accompany you. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Yes, of course. Men, the coffin—and lift it with care. (MEN go to lift it. One stumbles and mimes fumbling his end.) 20 ROMANTIC MAN 3: Watch out!! (SNOW WHITE jerks her body as if the coffin has been dropped and starts to cough. She sits up.ALL gasp.) ZIP: Snow White! Snow White is alive! The Queen’s Workroom KIP: But how?! TIP: She has coughed up this chunk of apple. (Reaches into the coffin 25 and lifts out a very large apple core and shows it to the AUDIENCE.) PIP: Snow White, are you all right?! SNOW WHITE: Yes, I think so. I feel like I’ve been sleeping. Where am I? I remember talking to a fruit peddler and taking a bite of a juicy red apple, but it got stuck in my throat and then nothing… 30 ROMANTIC MAN 1: It must have been when we dropped the coffin. ROMANTIC MAN 2: It dislodged the apple from her throat. ROMANTIC MAN 3: Bringing her back to us! SNOW WHITE: Good heavens, where am I? ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (Flies to her side.) You are with me. I am 35 the prince of this land. I love you more than anything else in the world. Please do me the honor of coming with me to my father’s castle. You shall become my wife. SNOW WHITE: Oh, my goodness! This is all so sudden, but… (Trying to make up her mind, she looks at the DWARVES, who smile, then 40 the ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and his MEN, who smile, then back to the DWARVES and back to the PRINCE.) …okay!

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1 HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Who are you? 1 GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what? DEVIL: (ENTERS UP LEFT and moves to the other side of the HUNTSMAN. GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) ’Bout the girl? Speaks.) What should I do?! I can’t believe you’re hesitating! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) What girl? HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Who are you? GROUP 1: (Sings.) There’s a girl. 5 ANGEL: (To DEVIL. Speaks.) Hey! Who invited you here? Butt out! (To 5 GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) What girl? HUNTSMAN.) I’m your good conscience. And I’m here to remind GROUP 3: (Sings.) A tall girl! you that no matter what, you must choose the good path. She’s a beautiful, good and gentle child. You must let her go. GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) Oh, my! HUNTSMAN: (Nodding, speaks.) See! That’s what I was thinking! GROUP 4: (Sings.) What about her? 10 DEVIL: (Speaks.) Don’t listen to him! He’s obviously forgotten that GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) She’s tall. the queen said she would have you killed if you failed to carry out 10 GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) We all know that! this task. ALL: (Sing.) Good golly, Miss Molly, I think I smell a rat! HUNTSMAN: (Grabbing throat, speaks.) That is something to consider, GROUP 1: (Sings.) Now, the seven. too! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) The seven? 15 ANGEL: (Speaks.) But you’ve known Snow White since she was a GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) The seven in the woods? child. She’s done the queen no wrong and harmed no one. 15 GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) That’s a good point. GROUP 3: (Sings.) What about the seven? DEVIL: (Speaks.) But you’re gonna die if you don’t kill her! GROUP 1: (Sings.) The girl. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) That’s a good point, too! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) The girl? 20 ANGEL: (Sings.) Before you choose a path, better stop and think. (Sings.) We’re talkin’ ‘bout the seven! Going down the wrong trail could land you in the drink. 20 GROUP 4: (Sings.) What about the seven? DEVIL: (Sings.) I recommend you kill the girl and save your neck. GROUP 1: (Sings. Admonishing GROUP 4.) HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) But if I kill her I will lose my self-respect. Rama lama ding dong, she’s livin’ with the seven! DEVIL: (Sings.) You should take the low way. ALL: (Sing to AUDIENCE.) 25 ANGEL: (Sings.) I would take the high way. Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? DEVIL: (Sings.) Think about the free way… 25 This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. ANGEL: (Sings.) …or possibly the byway. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round that’s been givin’ me a fright, HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) This could be a good day, And all I can do is lie and pray for daylight. Or this could be a bad day! Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! 30 ANGEL: (Sings.) You can choose the right way! GROUP 4: (Sings.) Have ya heard? DEVIL: (Sings.) Or my way! 30 GROUP 3: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what? HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) How will I know? GROUP 4: (Sings.) She’s a thief. Which way to turn? GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) What?! Please show me which way to go! GROUP 2: (Speaks in rhythm.) A thief? 35 What should I do? What will I learn? GROUP 4: (Speaks in rhythm.) Yep! (Sings.) I’ve reached the point of no return, 35 She broke into the house! The point of no return! ALL: (Sing.) Great balls of fire, good Lordy up in heaven! DEVIL: (Sings.) HUNTSMAN: (Sings.) Why would anyone break into the house of the seven? 40 If I were you I think that What should I do? GROUP 3: (Sings.) Have ya heard? I would take the low way. GROUP 1: (Speaks in rhythm.) Heard what?

12 21 For Preview Only 1 And I’m the fairest chick in the land!! (MUSIC OUT. Moves to THE ROCKIN’ TALE OF SNOW WHITE cauldron and pulls a very large apple out of the kettle. Speaks.) Now to disguise myself. (Scoops some “liquid” from the kettle and PROLOGUE takes a drink. Falls to her knees behind the big workbench. After a 1 BEFORE LIGHTS UP: MUSIC CUE 1: “Snow White’s Hip-Hop, Doo- 5 beat, FRUIT PEDDLER comes up gasping for air.) Wop, Be-Bop, Funky Little Rockin’ Tale.” ENSEMBLE ENTERS in the FRUIT PEDDLER: Ha ha ha! She’ll never recognize me as a man!! dark from STAGE LEFT and RIGHT. They file across the FRONT OF THE (Grabs a fruit cart, loads up the large APPLE and rushes OFF LEFT. STAGE. LIGHTS UP on ENSEMBLE. LIGHTS DIM and the MICE ENTER UP RIGHT and perform a little 5 ENSEMBLE: (Sings, in a Renaissance style.) dance with their time signs to mark the passage of time—two Once upon a time in a legendary kingdom, 10 hours, four hours, six hours, etc. LIGHTS COME UP again as FRUIT Lived a royal princess, fairest in the land. PEDDLER runs back ON LEFT.) Mirror! Quickly! Wake up!! She would meet a prince. They’d fall in love and then some. MIRROR: (Wakes.) What now?! Such a noble story told for your delight. FRUIT PEDDLER: It went like a charm! At first she was afraid to take 10 ’Tis a little rockin’ tale of pure Snow White! a bite! But then I said, “If you are afraid, then I will cut the apple in (With sudden “rock” edge. The ENSEMBLE takes on a whole new 15 two and eat half of it. Here, you eat the half with the beautiful red personality, from “Renaissance” to “Rock.” [NOTE: GUYS could walk cheek!” Now, the apple had been so artfully made that only the or pose with an attitude. GIRLS could take pins, ribbons, bows out red half was poisoned. When Snow White saw me eating my half of their hair and let it fall down, etc.]) she figured it must be safe! She barely had the bite in her mouth 15 We got a tale, a magical, marvelous, song-filled serenade. when she fell to the ground dead. What do you say to that?!! We got a tale, a fun-packed escapade. 20 MIRROR: You, my queen, are now fairest of all. Yes, we’re gonna wail, singin’ and a-shoutin’ and a-dancin’ till my FRUIT PEDDLER: (Laughs in triumph.) Yes! (BLACKOUT. All set pieces, feet both fail! except possibly the castle walls, are removed.) Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little 20 rockin’ tale! End of Scene Six GIRLS: (PRINCE steps forward and shows off muscles. Sing.) ACT TWO We got a prince, a muscle-bound, handsome, buff and studly macho guy! Scene Seven GUYS: (SNOW WHITE steps forward, smiles and curtseys to AUDIENCE. LIGHTS UP: On bare stage with coffin display. SNOW WHITE is in the 25 Sing.) We got a girl, a sugar and spice and-a everything nice, little glass coffin along with an oversized apple core, which is concealed at cutie pie. 25 the moment. DWARVES and ANIMALS are gathered around. ALL: (QUEEN steps forward and gives the AUDIENCE the evil eye. BIG MIKE: She’s still so beautiful. Sing.) We got a queen, an evil-eyed, funkified, lean and mean, KIP: I can’t believe she’s dead. total wicked machine. TIP: I keep hoping someday… somehow… 30 DWARVES: (Step forward. Sing.) PIP: Maybe the magic can be undone? And we got dwarves, feisty little dwarves. 30 FLIP: Ah! Look yonder—someone approaches! The rockinest you’ve ever seen! CHIP: Why, it’s the prince and his men! (MUSIC CUE 8f: “Prince ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Charming Fanfare.” ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and MEN ENTER We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nail-bitin’ mystery. LEFT. The MEN bring on shackles or chains, which are concealed. 35 We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. DWARVES and some ANIMALS stand in front of the glass case Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic 35 protectively.) over hill and dale. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (MUSIC OUT.) What is this? Why do you Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little mourn, my good men? rockin’ tale!

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1 MOTHER: (Reads.) “When the evil queen heard that Snow White was 1 ANGEL: (Sings.) alive and well and living with the dwarves, she thought and thought If I were you I’d really How will I know? again about how she could kill her…” think about the high way. JOSH: Isn’t that against the law? Her life’s depending on Please show me 5 MOTHER: What’s against the law? 5 which ever way you Which way to… choose today. JOSH: Killing someone. Isn’t that against the law? DEVIL: (Sings.) PEGGY SUE: Of course, it is! Okay, now shut up and listen. Forget the right way. …go. JOSH: Mom, Peggy Sue told me to shut up! Better travel my way! MOTHER: Peggy Sue, there is a nice way to tell someone to stop 10 If I were you, I wouldn’t Which path to take? 10 talking. Give her any leeway! PEGGY SUE: But Mom, it doesn’t work with him. ANGEL: (Sings.) MOTHER: Yes, it does. Josh, yes, it is against the law. And Josh, hush If I were you, I’d take Which way to turn? now. Now, I was saying… the “solve-it-peacefully” way! JOSH: Can I ask one more thing? 15 It’s always better to be I’ve reached the point Faithful, good and kind. Of no return, 15 MOTHER: Fine. What’s up? JOSH: Didn’t some of the dwarves seem kind of tall to you? DEVIL: (Sings.) The time has come You best make up your The point of no re- PEGGY SUE: You’re kidding, right? Josh, this is your imagination. You mind. turn. can make them any size you want using your imagination. 20 (MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER DIALOGUE.) JOSH: Oh, yeah, you’re right. ANGEL/DEVIL: (Speak.) So what’s it gonna be? 20 PEGGY SUE: You are so stupid. ANGEL: (Speaks.) The right way? JOSH: Mom, Peggy Sue just called me stupid! DEVIL: (Speaks.) Or my way? MOTHER: (Heavy sigh.) Do you two want me to keep reading? (KIDS HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) But you’re not the one to pay the price! Look… nod yes.) Then no more fighting.(Reads.) “In the meantime, the 25 I’d like to live another day, and no matter what, at least I’ll be able word about Snow White’s arrival was starting to fly around the local to say… I did it my way! (MUSIC OUT. LIGHTS UP FULL as he walks 25 dwarf village.” (MUSIC CUE 7: “Have Ya Heard?” LIGHTS SHIFT to toward SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD, who UNFREEZE.) MAIN STAGE where we find the dwarf village. Several ANIMALS, TREES and FLOWERS are scattered around the stage. MOTHER SNOW WHITE: (Sees him approach and drops to her knees.) Oh, and KIDS EXIT DOWN RIGHT. DWARF VILLAGERS are milling about please, dear Huntsman, let me live. I will run into the wild woods 30 doing little dwarf things with an assortment of tools. HEAD DWARF and never come back. 30 is selling flowers at a cart. There is a general feeling of uneasiness HUNTSMAN: (Helps her to her feet.) Forgive me, little princess! Save and subdued panic. [NOTE: GROUPS/CITIZENS may be divided yourself. The evil queen hates you and wants you dead! Run away, according to the age and ability of the performers. For younger you poor child. (SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD run OFF RIGHT. The performers you may want to consider dividing into two large groups ANGEL and DEVIL watch SNOW WHITE run by and then approach of citizens.]) 35 the HUNTSMAN.) 35 ALL: (Sing to AUDIENCE.) DEVIL: Now what are you going to do? What are you going to tell the Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? queen? This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. HUNTSMAN: I’ll lie. Even you can’t have a problem with that. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round, got me stayin’ wide awake, DEVIL: But how will you prove it? She asked for proof, remember? And all I can do is lie in bed and shake. 40 Delivered in her box. 40 Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! HUNTSMAN: (Thinks for a minute.) I shall kill a wild animal in her GROUP 1: (Sings.) Have ya heard? place, perhaps a wild pig.

20 13 For Preview Only 1 Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ 1 TIP: (Rushes to SNOW WHITE’S side.) Oh, dear! Is she dead? tale! (ENSEMBLE EXITS LEFT and RIGHT in a regal manner. PIP: She’s so still! MUSIC OUT.) FLIP: What has happened to her? End of Prologue CHIP: Look at her hair. Where did that comb come from? (They take ACT ONE 5 the comb from her hair, and SNOW WHITE sits up breathing.) Scene One SNOW WHITE: Oh, what has happened? LIGHTS UP: On JOSH and PEGGY SUE playing with dolls on the rug in BIG MIKE: Ah-hah! It must have been the queen who tried to kill you. 5 the living room. PEGGY SUE has a pretty princess doll and JOSH has SNOW WHITE: But I didn’t see her! You told me to watch for an old a soldier action figure. The stage is divided into three sections—the peddler woman. This woman was young and pretty. living room DOWN RIGHT, the coffin display DOWN CENTER and the 10 VILLAGER: Well, next time don’t talk to any peddler women at all! castle room on the MAIN STAGE. VILLAGER: (To DWARVES.) Thank goodness you were in time! PEGGY SUE: …and the prince falls in love at first sight, and now he End of Scene Five 10 has to kiss her. JOSH: Gross! No way! He’s not gonna kiss her! ACT TWO PEGGY SUE: Yes! He has to. Scene Six JOSH: No! LIGHTS UP: On QUEEN in her workroom, DOWN LEFT. BATS stand on PEGGY SUE: He has to! He loves her. either side of the workbench, which now conceals FRUIT PEDDLER. There is a big kettle (can be a basket with papered sides). ONSTAGE 15 JOSH: He does not. He just met her. 15 concealing a small child in an APPLE costume. (Alternatively, a large PEGGY SUE: It’s love at first sight. apple prop can be used.) JOSH: There is no such thing. QUEEN: Well, Mirror? What say you now? PEGGY SUE: There is, too! It happens all the time! MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair—it is true. JOSH: Like when? But little Snow White with the seven dwarves 20 PEGGY SUE: Like in all the fairy tales. 20 Is a thousand times fairer than you. JOSH: Name one. QUEEN: No way!! That cannot be true!! Aaarrrggghhh! Snow White will PEGGY SUE: Snow White! (LIGHTS UP DOWN CENTER revealing the die if it costs me my life! (Pulls out a little apple.) With this little glass coffin displaying SNOW WHITE. MUSIC CUE 1a: “Prince apple, Snow White will meet her end! (MUSIC CUE 8e: “A Pinch of Charming Fanfare.” PRINCE CHARMING and his MEN ENTER LEFT. This—Reprise.” Flips pages in the big spell book. She begins to mix 25 CHARMING approaches the coffin. KIDS watch the scene.) 25 ingredients and throws in apple. Sings.) PRINCE CHARMING: (MUSIC OUT.) I am the handsome Prince A pinch of this, a little pest… Charming! A scream of fright… A hornet’s nest… PRINCE CHARMING’S MEN: And we are his handsome men! We have A mummy’s curse—the final test. climbed the highest peaks and fought the fiercest dragons to be 30 30 here. QUEEN/BATS: (Sing.) Mix ‘em all together! CHARMING: Oh, behold the fair Snow White! I love you more than QUEEN: (Speaks.) Those collagen injected, pouty little red lips are anything in the world. (LIGHTS OUT on CHARMING and MEN, who going to be closed for good! (Raps.) quickly EXIT LEFT.) Gonna kill Snow White, that’s what I’ll do. With a poison apple ’n’ witch’s brew. JOSH: No way! He wouldn’t say that! Especially not to a dead person! 35 She’ll fall asleep, 35 PEGGY SUE: Well then, what did he say? Huh? What did he say? Won’t that be grand, (LIGHTS UP again on the glass coffin. MUSIC CUE 1b: “Combat Hero When the girl is dead,

2 31 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT

1 ANGEL: Now you’re thinking. (WILD PIG ENTERS UP RIGHT and runs 1 market, and she could only think that she was again the first and across stage. The HUNTSMAN draws his bow and chases him down most beautiful woman of all…” (LIGHTS SHIFT to castle room. EVIL and captures him. MUSIC CUE 5a: “Natural Resource Man Jingle.”) QUEEN, LADIES-IN-WAITING and MIRROR are ONSTAGE.) DNR REP: (ENTERS LEFT, carrying a briefcase. Speaks.) Excuse me!! QUEEN: Ladies, ladies, your attention, please. 5 But did I hear someone mention something about killing a wild pig? 5 ALL LADIES: Yes, your majesty. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Uuuhhhhh… well… yes. QUEEN: Anything you wanted to say to me today? Hmmm?? (LADIES DNR REP: (Pulls out clipboard. Speaks.) Can I have your name? at first look a bit confused. Then they look at each other [as if a light HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Horatio the Huntsman. Why? Who are you? goes off] and gather together in a group looking like a small chorus.) DNR REP: (Speaks.) I’m Mel Merman. Representative for the MEREDITH: Why, yes, your majesty. Ladies, are you ready? Ahem! A 10 Department of Natural Resources… (To AUDIENCE.) …otherwise 10 limerick for your enjoyment. known as the D-N-R. MARTHA: There once was a queen so exquisite… HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) You’re who? From the department of what?! MARY: That people from afar came to visit… DNR REP: (Speaks.) Mel Merman is my name. Natural resources are MOLLY: Just to behold… my game! MAUREEN: …looks fairer than gold. 15 (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. 15 JUDY: Not a bad poem, now is it? (ALL LADIES and QUEEN laugh.) I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks to AUDIENCE.) Yes, folks, QUEEN: (Turns to MIRROR.) Mirror, mirror on the wall, you heard me right—natural resource protection. My department Who in this land is fairest of all? is an offshoot of the Department of the Interior, which was established by the 30th Congress back in 1849. Even back then MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair, it’s true, But Snow White, beyond the mountains with the seven dwarves, 20 they realized that we had to manage and protect this great nation. That’s where I come in! 20 Is still a thousand times fairer than you. (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. QUEEN: (Shrieks.) No!! That cannot be! (LIGHTS SHIFT to MOTHER and I’m yer Natural Resource man! (Speaks to HUNTSMAN.) Are you KIDS.) aware, sir, that the hunting of wild pigs in this forest is illegal? MOTHER: (Puts down the book.) And now I think… (MUSIC CUE 6a: 25 These pigs are federally protected. (WILD PIG wipes his brow in “The Seven Dwarves’ Work Song—Reprise.”) relief.) 25 JOSH: Mom, what are you doing?! HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) Illegal? PEGGY SUE: You can’t stop now! DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. JOSH: C’mon, Mom! It’s just getting good. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) In this forest? PEGGY SUE: Please! Read on. 30 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. MOTHER: I will. I just thought it would be nice to stop for a snack. HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) You’re kidding, right? 30 JOSH/PEGGY SUE: Yay! (MUSIC OUT. CURTAIN.) DNR REP: (Speaks.) ’Fraid not, sir. End of ACT ONE HUNTSMAN: (Speaks.) But I didn’t know they were protected. DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ignorance is not an excuse, sir! It’s people like you ACT TWO 35 that give me job security. Scene One (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. MUSIC CUE 6b: “Entr’Acte.” I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) Have you hugged a tree CURTAIN UP: JOSH and PEGGY SUE are DOWN RIGHT finishing their today?! (Back to HUNTSMAN.) Now, if you’d come with me, I have snack. MOTHER sits down and picks up storybook. Stage is now divided some questions I need you to answer. (He and HUNTSMAN walk into two sections—the living room and the dwarf village, represented 40 OFF LEFT with DEVIL and ANGEL trailing. WILD PIG follows, jumping 35 by the village walls and a flower cart.(NOTE: The village walls can be for joy. MUSIC OUT.) created by laying down lengthwise the stone walls for the castle.) End of Scene Four 14 19 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT End of Script Sample FOREST TREES...... have limbs that grab at Snow White 1 We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. FOREST FLOWERS ...... colorful, with green bodies Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic BATS ...... for queen’s “spell” scenes over hill and dale. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little MICE ...... mark the passage of time with signs 5 rockin’ tale! APPLE ...... small actor or actress pulled from Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ queen’s large cauldron (this could tale! (ACTORS begin stepping forward for BOWS.) also be a large prop.) We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nailbitin’ mystery. *NOTE: Sheep have been incorporated into this play because the We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. costumes exist at the school where the original production took place 10 Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic and can be reused every year. Feel free to substitute other more over hill and dale. foresty animals if you desire. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! SET DESCRIPTION Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little There are several locations in this play—a living room, a castle room, 15 rockin’ tale! a forest, the dwarves’ house, the dwarf village and the queen’s (ENSEMBLE takes one final GROUP BOW. GUYS bow from the waist, workroom—all of which can be represented simply. Several locations GIRLS curtsey. LIGHTS FADE to BLACK, FINAL CURTAIN or DIRECT will appear onstage simultaneously for ease of production. There is SEGUE into MUSIC CUE 9b: “Optional Choral Finale/Exit Music,” in a living room DOWN RIGHT which consists of a bookshelf, optional which case LIGHTS DIM.) chair and a rug. The castle room is on the MAIN STAGE, represented 20 Star bright, soon will be glimm’ring down. by a rocking chair, wall flats and a window. For later scenes, the Nighttime will soon be ‘round bringing its peace and quiet. dwarves’ house is on the MAIN STAGE with a small table and seven Treetops singing their lullaby, whisp’ring to you and I, small chairs along with a bed with seven small pillows. The forest can “There will be love and joy someday.” be represented by a bare stage with an optional backdrop of trees END OF PLAY and flowers. For the dwarf village scenes, the castle flats are turned around to become the village walls. For the queen’s workroom, a large workbench is rolled onstage along with a large kettle. A “glass coffin” is rolled on for the first and last scenes of the play. (See PRODUCTION PRODUCTION NOTES NOTES for details.) See set designs on page viii. PROPERTIES SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ONSTAGE: ACT ONE LIVING ROOM: Bookshelf with a few books, optional chair, rug Scene One: The living room, castle room and coffin display. CASTLE ROOM: Rocking chair (for scene one only), window (frame must be black), optional castle wall flats Scene Two: The living room and castle room. FOREST: Optional backdrop of trees and flowers Scene Three: The living room and castle room. DWARVES’ HOUSE: Tiny table set with seven place settings with Scene Four: The forest. tiny food on them, seven tiny chairs, bed with seven tiny Scene Five: A different part of the forest. pillows DWARF VILLAGE: Castle wall flats Scene Six: The dwarves’ house. QUEEN’S WORKROOM: Large workbench and kettle Scene Seven: The living room and castle room. BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene One: Glass coffin (CAST MEMBERS) Princess doll (PEGGY SUE) Soldier action figure (JOSH) iv 37

1 SNOW WHITE ENTERS RIGHT, frolicking across the stage, followed 1 now to finish the task… (Grabs the basket with the corset [scarf] by her herd of pet SHEEP.) and ribbons and EXITS LEFT. BLACKOUT. [NOTE: Workroom set SHEEP: Snow White is so baaaaa-oootiful. (QUEEN does a double take pieces do not have to be removed from the stage until after ACT this time. SNOW WHITE and SHEEP EXIT LEFT.) TWO, Scene Six.]) 5 MEREDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, another limerick for your End of Scene Two enjoyment. ACT TWO MARTHA: There once was a girl named Snow White. Scene Three MARY: And she was a very pretty sight. 5 LIGHTS UP: On dwarf village on MAIN STAGE. VILLAGERS ENTER LEFT MOLLY: Her stepmother, the queen… and RIGHT and begin milling about doing their little dwarf village things 10 MAUREEN: …was really quite mean. again. Several ANIMALS, TREES and FLOWERS are scattered around JUDY: I think Snow White should take flight!( ALL LADIES smile and the stage. SNOW WHITE and SEVEN DWARVES ENTER UP RIGHT. titter again, but when the QUEEN scowls at them, they quickly scurry SNOW WHITE: All right! I hear you, but I’ll be fine! Really, I will. OFF UP RIGHT. QUEEN walks UPSTAGE to the MIRROR.) 10 ZIP: I know you think that, but you don’t know how crafty she can be! QUEEN: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, KIP: We only say this for your own protection. 15 Who in this land is fairest of all? (Waits expectantly.) TIP: And we ask this of our friends in the village, as well. MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair—it is true. But Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. PIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Please watch out for Snow White. QUEEN: What?! I… I… what did you say?! FLIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Keep a sharp eye out for the evil queen, coming 15 to do Snow White harm! MIRROR: Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. ALL VILLAGERS: We will. 20 QUEEN: What?! CHIP: Enjoy your day shopping, but when you are home alone, lock MIRROR: (Yells and speaks very slowly.) I said, Snow White is a the door! thousand— SNOW WHITE: She would never try anything in front of all of these QUEEN: I heard you the first time! 20 people! MIRROR: Well then, why did you ask again? BIG MIKE: Probably not, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful. 25 QUEEN: You’re lying! And just for that, I’m going to hit you with a SNOW WHITE: I promise. (MUSIC CUE 8a: “The Seven Dwarves’ Work hammer and break you into a thousand pieces! How would you Song—Reprise.”) like that? ZIP: (Speaks.) Well then, we’re off to work! MIRROR: Go ahead. It is impossible for me to lie to you, your majesty. You know that. I’m a mirror, for heaven’s sake. I can only reflect 25 SEVEN DWARVES: (Sing.) Get up in the morning, before the break of day. 30 what I see. So go ahead, wreck me. See if I ever talk to you again. Head into the mountains, dancin’ all the way. QUEEN: (Whines.) She is a child! There is no way she is prettier than All the day we’re workin’. Come home late at night. me. Workin’, workin’, workin’ till the sun is out of sight. MIRROR: Look, I call ’em like I see ’em. (QUEEN makes a sound of 30 We are the seven dwarves! anger and disgust and EXITS UP RIGHT. MUSIC CUE 3: “I’m Just a ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! 35 Mirror.” Raps to AUDIENCE.) Hey, look! I’m a mirror, and I can really see ya. KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! But check it out now, I wouldn’t wanna be ya. TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! She thinks she’s pretty, the best in the city. PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! She got no heart. She got no pity. 35 FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! 40 She the queen, a bad scene. CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! She the queen. The queen of mean! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! 8 25 Fabric, needle, thread (YOUNG QUEEN) ENSEMBLE Doll wrapped in blanket, stethoscope (DOCTOR) PRINCE CHARMING ...... tall, suave, handsome and heroic 4 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Two: PRINCE CHARMING’S MEN...... as many as desired 2 Blanket covering (MIRROR) COMBAT HERO Hand mirrors (LADIES IN WAITING) SOLDIER PRINCE ...... handsome, heroic and macho; 4 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Three: wears camouflage or army garb Handkerchief box (MARTHA) COMBAT HERO Bow and arrow (HUNTSMAN) SOLDIER PRINCE’S MEN ...... as many as desired 2 BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Four: ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE ...... combination of Prince Charming 9 Bouquet of flowers (SNOW WHITE) and the Combat Hero—handsome, Bow and arrow, handkerchief box (HUNTSMAN) heroic and macho with army garb Clipboard, briefcase (DNR REP) ROMANTIC HERO BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Six: PRINCE’S MEN ...... as many as desired 4 Lanterns, tools [buckets, brooms, hammers, blocks of wood, etc.] (SEVEN DWARVES) YOUNG QUEEN ...... Snow White’s mother; sweet, 4 pretty and calm BROUGHT ON, ACT ONE, Scene Seven: Hand mirrors (LADIES IN WAITING) KING ...... older than the queen; very serious 9 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene One: DOCTOR ...... wears scrubs, dangling face 3 Milk and snack (KIDS) mask and stethoscope Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF DEVIL ...... same as the Huntsman, but with 11 VILLAGERS) red horns, tail and pitchfork Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) ANGEL ...... same as the Huntsman, but with 9 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Two: wings and a halo Workbench (big enough for someone to hide behind) containing LITTLE BIRD ...... seeks to warn Snow White of her 3 the following: tin cup, various shaped glasses with stuff in impending death them, little tins or canisters, rubber spiders, rubber lizard, DWARF VILLAGERS ...... very animated, bouncy and 22 store receipt, big old spell book (old phone book with a fake dorky with big ears and big feet; cover would work.), basket with corset (scarf with ribbons) at least four; as many as desired BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Three: HEAD VILLAGER ...... tallest dwarf; sells flowers 10 Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF RIBBON PEDDLER ...... ugly, haggish old woman 4 VILLAGERS) Clipboard, briefcase (DNR REP) COMB PEDDLER ...... evil, pretty, young and charming 3 Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) FRUIT PEDDLER ...... evil, tall, normal-looking man 4 Corset with ribbons, hand mirror (RIBBON PEDDLER) Pocketknife or scissors (ZIP) NON-SPEAKING ROLES BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Four: YOUNG SNOW WHITE ...... about age seven Workbench containing the following: tin cup, various shaped SHEEP* ...... cute and little; follow Snow White glasses with stuff in them, little tins or canisters, rubber WILD PIG ...... panicked at the thought of the spiders, rubber lizard, hair brushes and scrunchies, hairspray, Hunstman running him down big old spell book, basket of combs WOODLAND ANIMALS 1-4 ...... such as bears, foxes, rabbits, BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Five: squirrels, bunnies, birds, deer, Baskets, big axe, anvil, wash tub, hay bale, etc. (DWARF VILLAGERS) chipmunks, wolves, bees, etc.

38 iii RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT

1 ALL: (Speak.) And together we are the seven dwarves. 1 LADIES TWO: (Sing as melody with LADIES ONE singing backup vocals.) ZIP: (Speaks.) See— We got the hair. We got the looks. We could be in all the glamour books. KIP: (Speaks.) —you— The woman ain’t got nothin’ on us. TIP: (Speaks.) —real— 5 So why the drama, why the fuss? 5 PIP: (Speaks.) —soon! LADIES ONE: (Sing backup vocals to LADIES TWO’S melody.) FLIP: (Speaks.) Have— Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! CHIP: (Speaks.) —a— Every day we wait, wait! BIG MIKE: (Speaks.) —great day!! (DWARVES march OFF UP LEFT. Every night we wait, wait! MUSIC OUT. SNOW WHITE waves good-bye, turns and starts 10 ALL LADIES: (Sing.) Bewitching and bedazzling, 10 shopping. Scene’s focus turns to DNR REP, who ENTERS LEFT and The boys all fall at our feet. starts poking around the dwarf village. He spies HEAD VILLAGER, We’ve got the zoom, we’ve got the zing! who is selling flowers from his cart. MUSIC CUE 8b: “Natural A cute little dolly, sugar sweet! Resource Man Jingle—Reprise.”) Drop dead gorgeous head to feet! DNR REP: (Speaks.) Excuse me, but may I take a closer look at your 15 We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. 15 flowers? It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Be my guest. Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game. DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ah-ha! Just as I expected. You are selling the showy lady slipper (or insert state flower here). This is a flower Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! rarely seen in the wild and is now federally protected. This is an 20 Every day we wait, wait! Every night we tuck her in, 20 illegal activity. Wake up again and… HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Who are you? Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! DNR REP: (Speaks.) I’m Mel Merman, representative for the Every day we wait, wait! Department of Natural Resources… (To AUDIENCE.) …otherwise 25 Every night we tuck her in, known as the D-N-R. Wake up again and wait! 25 HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) You’re who? From the department of Wait, wait! (MUSIC OUT. LADIES stop as the QUEEN RE-ENTERS UP what?! LEFT.) DNR REP: (Speaks.) Mel Merman is my name. Natural resources are JUDY: (Goes DOWN CENTER, leans toward the AUDIENCE and whispers my game! (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. 30 loudly.) The queen is a beauty, I’m yer natural resource man! (TO AUDIENCE. Speaks.) Yes, folks, But make no mistake, 30 once again, it’s all about natural resource protection. This beautiful Her heart is just rotten, and delicate plant became the state flower of(Insert state name Her stare makes you quake. (The REST of the LADIES and the and information about the flower here.) Minnesota in 1902, and QUEEN join JUDY at CENTER.) it became protected by state law in 1925. It is illegal to pick or 35 MOTHER’S VOICE: (From DOWN RIGHT or OFFSTAGE. Reads as YOUNG uproot a showy lady slipper flower in Minnesota. This rare plant SNOW WHITE ENTERS LEFT and frolics across the scene, followed 35 has vanished from much of its historical range due to habitat loss. by her herd of pet SHEEP.) “Snow White grew up and became ever (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. more beautiful.” (YOUNG SNOW WHITE and SHEEP cross the stage I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) So now you know, sir. You and EXIT RIGHT. The LADIES titter and coo. QUEEN watches her are participating in an illegal activity. 40 walk past, rather disinterested.) “When she was seven years old, HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) Illegal? she was already as beautiful as the light of day.” (QUEEN crosses 40 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. to RIGHT. MOUSE ENTERS with time sign that reads, “MANY YEARS HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) In this village? LATER…” then EXITS.) “Her beauty continued to grow until one day she was even more beautiful than the queen herself…” (OLDER 26 7 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT THE ROCKIN’ TALE OF SNOW WHITE Flower cart (HEAD VILLAGER) Basket of combs (COMB PEDDLER) Book by BARBARA LENNON • Music by BILL FRANCOEUR Lyrics by BILL FRANCOEUR AND BARBARA LENNON BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Six Workbench containing the following: tin cup, various shaped CAST OF CHARACTERS glasses with stuff in them, little tins or canisters, rubber spiders, rubber lizard, jar of apple sauce, big old spell book, FRAME STORY CHARACTERS big bottle with a skull and crossbones on it of lines Mirror frame (MIRROR) PEGGY SUE ...... 10-year-old big sister of Josh 24 Fruit cart (FRUIT PEDDLER) JOSH ...... typical 8-year-old 24 Huge kettle (can be a basket with papered sides or an empty trash can), small apple (EVIL QUEEN) MOTHER ...... a June Cleaver-type mom 20 Time signs [Six years later, many years later, two hours later, four hours later, six hours later] (MICE) PRINCIPAL STORY CHARACTERS SNOW WHITE ...... pretty and kind; speaks very 36 BROUGHT ON, ACT TWO, Scene Seven: sweetly and moves very lightly Glass coffin with large apple core hidden behind it Flowers, white veil (CAST MEMBERS) EVIL QUEEN ...... very beautiful, cold and spoiled; 31 Chains (MEN) strident and commanding MEREDITH ...... lady-in-waiting to the queen 5 THE GLASS COFFIN AND THE WORKBENCH MARTHA ...... another 6 In the original production, the glass coffin was made out of clear MARY ...... another 5 plastic in a wood frame. It was decorated with beautiful designs and MOLLY ...... another 5 draped with flowers. If constructing a glass coffin is not within your budget or expertise, a simple frame can be used and the glass can be MAUREEN ...... another 5 imaginary. For a completely bare bones set, SNOW WHITE can simply JUDY ...... another 7 lay on a rectangular table, and the AUDIENCE can use its imagination. MIRROR...... shiny person who has a 17 The workbench should be tall and wide enough so that each PEDDLER, jaded outlook on the world then the QUEEN, can hide inside of it for Scenes Four through Six in HUNTSMAN ...... burly kind of guy with a big heart 26 ACT TWO. If the workbench is on casters, the PEDDLERS may be rolled ZIP ...... one of the seven dwarves; a 17 on already inside the bench, and the QUEEN can be rolled off. If this good guy with big feet and ears is not an option, PEDDLERS simply enter in darkness and take their KIP ...... another 18 place inside the bench. When QUEEN ducks down, they switch places and QUEEN is rolled off in the bench or exits in darkness when the TIP ...... another 18 scene is over. PIP ...... another 16 The flats can double as backdrop for multiple scenes, so they can be FLIP...... another 15 painted on one side with stones and on the other with a forest. If a CHIP...... another 15 brace is added to the back of the flat, the flats can be laid lengthwise BIG MIKE ...... the smallest dwarf, but has 15 on the stage with the stone side facing downstage to create the village the biggest voice walls. DNR REP ...... dorky government official from 19 the Department of Natural COSTUMES Resources In general, principal characters and ensemble should wear typical fairy-tale, medieval apparel. Frame characters should dress in normal contemporary clothing. ii 39 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT

1 and RIGHT carrying hand mirrors. They move to CENTER as MOUSE 1 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Yes, sir. EXITS UP RIGHT.) HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) You’re kidding, right? MEREDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, a limerick for your enjoyment. DNR REP: (Speaks.) ’Fraid not, sir. Now, if you’d come with me. MARTHA: There once was a queen so vain, HEAD VILLAGER: (Speaks.) But I didn’t know they were protected. 5 MARY: Her mirror could not call her plain. 5 DNR REP: (Speaks.) Ignorance is not an excuse, sir! It’s people like you MOLLY: If he didn’t say… that give me job security. MAUREEN: …you’re beautiful today… (Sings.) Here I am to protect your land. I’m yer natural resource man! (Speaks.) Have you hugged a tree JUDY: …her anger would cause him great pain! (ALL LADIES laugh.) today?! (Leads confused HEAD VILLAGER OFF RIGHT. MUSIC OUT MEREDITH: But wait! We have more! (LADIES pair up and dance and 10 as RIBBON PEDDLER ENTERS UP LEFT.) 10 move through the recitation of this poem.) RIBBON PEDDLER: (Hawking her wares, calls out.) Pretty things! Pretty MARTHA: Our wit you’ll adore. things! Pretty things for pretty girls. (Pretends to bump into SNOW MARY: So give us your full attention. WHITE, who’s been shopping around the stage.) Why, my child! You MOLLY: Just lend us an ear, certainly are pretty. Would you like to look at my pretty things? 15 (Shows her the corset. [This can be a long, wide scarf with ribbons MAUREEN: But have no fear… and flowers sewn on.]) The lovely flowers on the strings of this corset 15 JUDY: …your problems we will not mention. seem just the right thing for your skin. Would you like to try it on? MEREDITH: When I look in the mirror I am happy to see… SNOW WHITE: Oh, thank you, but I simply couldn’t. MARTHA: …that no one is nearly as pretty as me! (ALL LADIES titter RIBBON PEDDLER: Oh, why not? Just for fun? It won’t kill you. (As an with laughter.) 20 aside to the AUDIENCE.) That’s what she thinks. Ha ha. MARY: As a lady-in-waiting I am lucky to wear… SNOW WHITE: It is awfully pretty. Maybe just for a minute. 20 MOLLY: …the latest in fashion and stylish hair. RIBBON PEDDLER: (Helps wrap the scarf around SNOW WHITE.) There, MAUREEN: A look in the mirror reveals what is true… see for yourself. Look into my mirror and see how lovely you are. JUDY: …that I am so much better looking than you. (Starts to pull the scarf very tight.) ALL LADIES: (Titter with laughter.) We’re pretty and lovely, so charming, 25 SNOW WHITE: Oh, it’s lovely! But, oh, why do I suddenly feel so faint? you see, and we are the envy of all we see. (MUSIC CUE 2: “Ladies- I can’t breathe. I… can’t… (To RIBBON PEDDLER.) Help… me… (Falls to the ground.) 25 in-Waiting.” Sing.) We are the ladies, ladies-in-waiting. We represent the finest in the land. RIBBON PEDDLER: Ha ha! I have won! (EXITS LEFT while VILLAGERS We’re cute! We’re hot! It’s so humiliating, gather around SNOW WHITE.) Waiting on the queen with this stupid mirror in my hand. 30 VILLAGER 1: Oh, look at Snow White! Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! VILLAGER 2: What has happened?! 30 Every day we wait, wait! VILLAGER 3: (To the ANIMALS.) Quick, go fetch the seven! Tell them Every night we tuck her in, there is trouble for Snow White! (ANIMALS EXIT UP LEFT.) Wake up again and… VILLAGER 4: She’s barely breathing. (DWARVES and more ANIMALS LADIES ONE: (Sing as melody with LADIES TWO singing backup vocals.) 35 come running ON UP LEFT.) We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. ZIP: What is it? 35 It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. KIP: Trouble with Snow White? Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game! TIP: (Rushes to SNOW WHITE’S side.) Oh, dear! Is she dead? LADIES TWO: (Sing backup vocals to LADIES ONE’S melody.) PIP: She’s barely breathing! Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! 40 FLIP: Quick! Loosen this corset! Untie the ribbons! 40 Every day we wait, wait! CHIP: I can’t. It’s as if it won’t let go!! Every night we wait, wait! BIG MIKE: Ah-hah! Evil magic from the queen, no doubt. 6 27 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT DNR REP should wear a business suit or plaid pants, hat, tie, clipboard and briefcase. MOTHER wears an apron. KING, YOUNG QUEEN and EVIL QUEEN wear crowns and royal garb. SNOW WHITE and YOUNG SNOW WHITE wear a typical fairy-tale costume, such as an elegant dress or gown. LADIES IN WAITING wear dresses and carry hand mirrors. MIRROR wears a shiny costume and carries a large, oval mirror frame. If a full-length mirror frame is used as a set piece, the actor playing the MIRROR simply enters and takes his place behind the frame. He can move about freely as desired. SEVEN DWARVES and DWARF VILLAGERS have big feet and ears. Book by Barbara Lennon COMBAT HERO, ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and their MEN wear Music by Bill Francoeur camouflage or some other type of army garb. Lyrics by Bill Francoeur and Barbara Lennon DOCTOR wears scrubs, a dangling face mask and a stethoscope. HUNTSMAN is a Grizzly Adams-type in a big coat and beard. He carries a bow and arrow. © Copyright 2010, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc. DEVIL HUNTSMAN should dress like HUNTSMAN but with devil ears and tail. He should also carry a pitchfork. Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should ANGEL HUNTSMAN should dress like HUNTSMAN but with angel wings, be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155. white robe and a halo. RIBBON PEDDLER should wear tattered clothing. All rights to this musical—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign COMB PEDDLER should be well dressed and wear a dress or gown. languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission FRUIT PEDDLER should dress plainly. no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given. ANIMALS dress as a variety of animals, such as a bird, sheep, rabbit, These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America wild pig, bats, etc. and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and FLOWERS and TREES need visible faces and flexible arms with the all nations of the United Kingdom. ability to grab. APPLE could be a small child wearing an apple costume. Alternatively, ONE SCRIPT PER CAST MEMBER MUST BE PURCHASED FOR PRODUCTION RIGHTS. an oversized apple prop could be used. COPYING OR DISTRIBUTING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK WITHOUT PERMISSION IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. SOUND EFFECTS On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear: Wind, owl hoot, wolf howling, creaking branches, mysterious forest 1. The full name of the musical sounds, voices speaking to Snow White in the forest. 2. The full name of the playwright, the composer, and the lyricist 3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with LIGHTING Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Denver, Colorado” Dimmed lights, dark blue light and spotlight.

40

1 ZIP: Let’s cut the strings instead! (Mimes cutting and the scarf is 1 JOSH: Red as blood?! Cooooool! loosened and comes off. SNOW WHITE sits up breathing.) PEGGY SUE: You are so immature. SNOW WHITE: Oh, what has happened? MOTHER: Would you two listen?! (Continues reading.) “Soon after that, KIP: You have fallen victim to the evil queen. she had a little daughter…” (LIGHTS SHIFT to KING, standing alone.) 5 SNOW WHITE: But I didn’t see her, only an old peddler woman. 5 DOCTOR: (ENTERS UP RIGHT with a baby in his arms.) It’s a girl! TIP: That was her, no doubt, in disguise. Congratulations. (Gives baby to KING.) This should be a joyous PIP: Thank goodness we arrived in time! (BLACKOUT.) day, but… (Dramatic pause; to AUDIENCE.) I have bad news, sire. End of Scene Three KING: Bad news? What is it? DOCTOR: I’m sorry, your majesty. But the queen… (Dramatic pause; ACT TWO 10 to AUDIENCE.) …has died. Scene Four KING: What?! No, it can’t be! Why didn’t you save her? LIGHTS UP: On the QUEEN in her workroom, DOWN LEFT. The DOCTOR: Darn it, your majesty! I’m just a country doctor. I’m not a workbench now conceals COMB PEDDLER. BATS and MIRROR are in magician. 10 workroom. KING: Nooooo!! (Falls to his knees.) Alas and alack! My beloved wife MIRROR: You didn’t expect to get away with it that easily, did you? 15 lost! (Gets back on feet.) But here is my beautiful daughter, with QUEEN: Yes! Well, no. Well, oh, I don’t know! She fell for it easily skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as enough. How was I to know those meddling dwarves would know ebony. I shall name her Snow White to remind me of my wife’s how to remove the spell? wish. (BLACKOUT. Rocking chair is removed.) 15 MIRROR: Corset ribbons are so obvious! She wasn’t breathing. Of End of Scene One course they were going to loosen them. ACT ONE QUEEN: Hey! Don’t get smart with me, Mirror, or I’ll break you into a thousand pieces! Scene Two MIRROR: That’s seven years bad luck, you know. I’m just trying to LIGHTS UP: On MOTHER, JOSH and PEGGY SUE, who are still sitting 20 on the floor DOWN RIGHT. 20 help! QUEEN: Well then, be helpful and not so critical. Now here I am, back MOTHER: (Continues reading.) “After some time, the king took at the drawing board. himself another wife. She was a beautiful woman, but she was proud and arrogant, and she could not stand it if anyone might MIRROR: Hey! How about those poison combs you used a while surpass her in beauty. She had a magic mirror… ” (LIGHTS SHIFT back? They worked pretty well. 25 to the castle room again, revealing an empty room with MIRROR 25 QUEEN: Yes! Yes, the combs! Wonderful. Oh, I’m so smart. (Brings up [an ACTOR dressed in silver who stands behind or holds up a mirror the basket of combs.) frame], covered by a blanket, UPSTAGE. [NOTE: MOTHER and KIDS MIRROR: You’re so smart? I’m the one… (Trails off as QUEEN glares may EXIT DOWN RIGHT in darkness if desired or they can remain at him.) ONSTAGE and join in any songs throughout the play at the director’s QUEEN: No girl can resist brushing her hair with a lovely comb. I shall 30 discretion.]) 30 present her with such that she cannot resist, and that will be the EVIL QUEEN: (ENTERS UP LEFT, walks over and uncovers MIRROR. She end of our pretty little Snow White! Hah! (Claps her hands. MUSIC poses a few times.) Hello, Mirror! What wonderful things do you CUE 8c: “A Pinch of This—Reprise.” Speaks.) But first to disguise have to share with me today? (Clears throat.) myself. Hmmm, the right spell is needed. (Flips pages in the big Mirror, mirror, on the wall, spell book. She begins to mix ingredients. Sings.) 35 Who in this land is fairest of all? (Waits expectantly.) 35 A pinch of this, a pinch of that… MIRROR: You, my queen, are the fairest of all. (QUEEN breaks into a An ear of dog , a toe of bat… huge smile and EXITS UP LEFT. MOUSE ENTERS with time sign that A squishy bug from where I sat! reads “SIX YEARS LATER…” LADIES-IN-WAITING ENTER UP LEFT

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