Safely on Your Way
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Safely On Your Way Child Custody and Access Information for Women Leaving Abusive Relationships and Their Service Providers Safely On Your Way Child Custody and Access Information for Women Leaving Abusive Relationships and Their Service Providers Project coordination, research, and writing: Rebecca Atkinson Project management: Maria Franks, Legal Information Society of Nova Scotia Steering and editorial committee: Maria Franks, Denise Moore, Rhonda Fraser, Pam Rubin, and Annabel Bruce Design: Communications Nova Scotia We gratefully acknowledge the financial contributions of the following: Law Foundation of Nova Scotia; Department of Justice Canada; IWK Foundation; Status of Women Canada, and the Nova Scotia Advisory Council on the Status of Women. We are also grateful for the in-kind contributions of the Nova Scotia Department of Justice, the Nova Scotia Advisory Council on the Status of Women (NSACSW), the Legal Information Society of Nova Scotia (LISNS), the Transition House Association of Nova Scotia (THANS), and the Women’s Innovative Justice Initiative (WIJI). ISBN: 0-88648-416-2 © 2008 Legal Information Society of Nova Scotia This guide provides legal information, not legal advice This guide contains general legal information only and is not intended to replace professional legal or other advice. The general information and tips in this guide may not apply to or be suitable for your specific situation. You should not rely on this information without first consulting a lawyer to learn how the law applies to your situation. The Family Law Information Project for Abused Women (FLIPAW) is not responsible for any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use or application of any information contained in this guide. We have made every attempt to ensure that the information in this guide was accurate as of the publication date; however, laws and policies frequently change and different circumstances can lead to different legal outcomes. A note about woman abuse Statistics show that it is women who most often experience abuse in family relationships. This guide is written from the perspective that the abuser is a man and that the person being abused is a woman who is the abuser’s present or former partner or spouse. We acknowledge that there are also situations where men are abused by women, and that abuse also occurs in same-sex relationships. Safely On Your Way v A note about family court Depending on your circumstances and where you live in Nova Scotia, your family law matter may be heard in the Family Court, the Supreme Court, or the Supreme Court (Family Division). However, in this province the term family court generally refers to any court where a family law matter, including child custody and access, is heard. Throughout this guide Family Court is capitalized where we refer to the specific court, whereas family court without capitals is a All legal terms in bold general reference to the family court process, are defined in the Legal which could take place in the Family Court, Terms chapter, page 230. the Supreme Court, or the Supreme Court (Family Division). vi Safely On Your Way Contents Introduction 1 Chapter 1 – Leaving an Abuser 12 Tips for Women with Children 3 Chapter 2 – Domestic Abuse and the Family 25 Chapter 3 – Preparing for Family Court 43 Chapter 4 – In the Courthouse 70 Chapter 5 – Custody 85 Chapter 6 – Access 113 Chapter 7 – You and Your Lawyer 148 Chapter 8 – Child Protection 174 Chapter 9 – Self-Care 202 Chapter 10 – Information for Service Providers 215 Legal Terms 230 Resources 253 Safely On Your Way vii Acknowledgments Thank You We extend our deep gratitude to all those women who shared their stories and experiences and provided valuable feedback at various stages of the project. Their voices appear in quotations throughout this guide. We acknowledge the following for their kind permission to reproduce material contained within this guide: the Ontario Women’s Justice Network, the Centre for Children & Families in the Justice System of the London Family Court Clinic, the Legal Information Society of Nova Scotia, the Nova Scotia Advisory Council on the Status of Women (Making Changes), Mental Health Services Halifax County East, the National Clearing House on Family Violence, Susanne Litke, Dalhousie Legal Aid Service, and the Disabled Persons Commission of Nova Scotia. We also gratefully acknowledge the expert contributions of the following: Maria Franks and Wendy Turner, LISNS; Pam Rubin, WIJI; Rhonda Fraser, Pamela Harrison and Lyn Barrett, THANS; Denise Moore and Brigitte Neumann, NSACSW; Joanne Bernard and Susan MacPhee, Alice Housing; Debbie Boyd-Crowther, Mi’kmaw Family Healing Centres; Ginger MacPhee; Doreen Paris, Pictou County Women’s Centre; Carmen Celina Moncayo, Metropolitan Immigrant Settlement Association (MISA); Sheri Lecker, Adsum House; Anne MacRae, the Disabled Persons Commission of Nova Scotia; Staff Sergeant Barb Saunders, Halifax Regional Police; Verona Singer and Susan Ivany, Victim Services, Halifax Regional Police; Monique Safely On Your Way ix Auffrey, Family SOS; Angela Connors, Nova Scotia Sexual Offenders Treatment Program; Denise Smith, Nova Scotia Public Prosecution Service; Susan Wilson, Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners Program (SANE); Janice Beaton, Coady Filliter; Linda Neilson, University of New Brunswick; Marie Claude Rioux, L’Association des juristes d’expression française de la Nouvelle Écosse (AJEFNE); Susanne Litke, Dalhousie Legal Aid Service; Kathleen Jennex, Coverdale Centre; Heather Kearney, Child Welfare, DCS; Pro Bono Students Canada, Dalhousie Law School; Kaireen Chaytor, Chaytor Consulting. We extend our appreciation to the Transition Houses of Nova Scotia and Alice Housing for hosting focus groups, and to the women’s centres of Nova Scotia for hosting introductory workshops. The Family Law Information Project for Abused Women (FLIPAW) is the name of the project that created the Safely On Your Way guide. FLIPAW partners include: the Legal Information Society of Nova Scotia (LISNS), the Nova Scotia Advisory Council on the Status of Women (NSACSW), the Transition House Association of Nova Scotia (THANS), and the Women’s Innovative Justice Initiative (WIJI). x Safely On Your Way Why this guide? Each year, thousands of women leave abusive relationships with their children and find themselves in what can be a long and painful process of working through ongoing custody and access issues. Dealing with an abusive partner in family and criminal court, and perhaps even in child protection proceedings, can take its toll on women who just want to move on with their lives. One of the greatest challenges faced by women in this situation is the fact that most family law information about custody and access does not address the unique concerns and dangers that women leaving abusers face. As a result, women are often alarmed and confused by issues that arise, for example, when abusive partners with criminal records apply for child custody, or when family court orders require direct contact despite criminal no-contact orders. Women may have no idea how to handle illegal contact from ex-partners during access visits or how to obtain criminal court evidence relevant to their children’s safety. Time and again women dealing with abusive ex-partners must balance their responsibility to allow court-ordered access with the responsibility to keep themselves and their children as safe as possible. In the past, it has taken women a long time, sometimes even years, to gather the information they need to navigate the Safely On Your Way xi family law system. Yet there has been no way to share this knowledge among women in order to increase awareness. The purpose of this guide is to help women by giving them access to relevant family law information: information that examines child custody and access issues from a domestic abuse perspective and addresses the risks and challenges faced by women and children during the post-separation period. With the input, support and expertise of many organizations, legal and justice professionals, women’s and children’s advocates, and, most importantly, women themselves who have lived or are still living the experience, this guide has been created to help you “safely on your way.” Thank you for reading. Rebecca Atkinson Project Coordinator, Researcher and Writer xii Safely On Your Way Introduction When a couple separates, in most cases both parents continue to have legal rights and obligations to their children and property. Ongoing family court matters such as custody and access, divorce, and child support can keep the parents in contact with each other for years after separation. This post-separation contact can be difficult and dangerous for abused women with children if it provides opportunities for the abuse to continue. For example, an abusive ex-partner may threaten or harass the victim during child handovers, may file excessive family court applications, may make false allegations to child protection authorities, may refuse to return the children after an access visit, or may even harm the children directly in an effort to maintain control. If you are a woman with children who has left or who is thinking about leaving an abusive partner, this guide is for you. It contains important information about many of the custody and access issues that abused women with children face as they attempt to balance safety concerns with their family law obligations. Use the guide as you need it, and don’t worry about the parts that don’t apply