The Appleton North NOCTILUCA Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol

the appleton north NOCTILUCA Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII State government replaced by supercomputer By Christian Bakken while Democratic Party spokes- man Graeme Zielinski replied In a rare bipartisan move with: “Pure logic and calcula- announced after a heated nego- tion will undoubtedly reach tiating session that lasted well the Democrats’ conclusion that into the night of March 23, the wellbeing of all citizens, 2012, Governor Walker along not just the 1%, is essential to with members of both houses the wellbeing of Wisconsin.” of the Legislature decided Under the terms of this deal, nearly unanimously to trans- the governor would remain a fer the functions of govern- ceremonial head of the state, ment into the able hard drive meeting other dignitaries and of a single supercomputer. speaking to Wisconsin resi- In this announcement, dents, but would lose all law- Governor Walker blamed “hy- making power. The Legisla- per-partisan politics” and the ture would be dissolved, with “immense political gap being the computer that replaces it formed between hard-working being turned on for approxi- Wisconsin residents” as two of mately one week four times a the driving factors behind this year, barring major emergen- unprecedented announcement, cies, during which time it will adding: “It is a sign of our produce a detailed list of new times that only technology can laws and changes to existing laws that will be implemented overcome our differences of Governor Walker points out the new supercomputer system in a news confer- opinion and continue moving by the other agencies of gov- ence. Noctiluca Photo Illustration. Wisconsin in the right direc- ernment. Legislators added tion without acrimony and the are in fear for our jobs from re- ties instead of constantly bat- important reason for the deci- that success of this model may abuse of the political process.” calls and this year’s elections. tling. Besides, implementing sion, with Walker’s assistant lead to a similar replacement Senate Democrat Bob Jauch All of us, Democrat and Repub- this program will create new Cullen Werwie stating “Any of the Supreme Court. At press explained why such a drastic lican alike, want to do what’s jobs for computer technicians computer will be able to deter- time, both the Democratic and decision met with such wide- best for Wisconsin, and if this and for workers at the Cray mine that big government will Republican parties have posted spread support: “With the po- requires us to leave our jobs, facilities in Chippewa Falls.” only harm this state’s potential notices regarding new classes litical atmosphere now, many well; we just get more time for Spokesmen for both parties without being distracted by in hacking they are now offer- of us are considering retiring or our families and our communi- also added perhaps the most misleading left-wing fantasies,” ing. Young boy leads national ignorance movement By Rafe Allen His poker face seemed impen- rance of current events, Bur- as American history, politics realize that they have not tak- etrable until the topic of school dokowski has been praised and foreign affairs. A random en a shower in several weeks As the 2012 republican lunches was raised. “Yeah! I for his, “I don’t know” at- sample of 500 of those pres- and thus return to their tedious presidential campaign con- like macaroni and cheese!” titude towards national and ent revealed that over half did daily routines. Or, in a more tinues like a criminal line in exclaimed the youngster, his world problems. A series of not know whose memorial catastrophic shift, the protests front of an indecisive Ameri- momentarily animated ex- viral videos featuring the they were protesting at or why will dissolve into a jungle- can public, one small boy is pression quickly faded, be- youngster on family outings there was a memorial in the party style riot.” According to brave enough to show that coming pensive as has raised his first place. The associations economists, the latter option he has absolutely no knowl- he looked over his status from with Burdokowski and the ig- is dangerous as it would result edge of what is going on creation. Recently part time norance movement are unoffi- in a nationwide party of indis- with precarious U.S. politics. he has been contact- voice of non- cial, leading followers to ques- cernible length, halting com- Five-year-old Aaron Bur- ed by Scott Walker engagement tion whether he is aware of mercial activity and triggering dokowski is content to sit on after Aaron’s com- to a full time his leadership position. When a severe recession. Most of the hard wood floor of his par- ments during a 60 f i g u r e h e a d asked of this he was unable the nation probably would not ent’s suburban Appleton WI Minutes interview, for those to give a cohesive response, notice though, as they would home and build fighter jets out in which he boldly who simply having just moments prior be too busy dancing in the of Legos. When asked about stated “I don’t like A hero for a new era. do not care failed to convince his mother streets to care. According to his current project and what my teacher, she’s Noctiluca Photo Illustra- about events to purchase the Lego Gen- Yuenicoern the revelry would the cost-to-benefit ratio of his mean.” The Walker tion. outside of eral Grievous action model. only end once all frozen pizza cuboid experimental aircraft campaign was hop- private life. At the moment it is impos- in the country is consumed. was, he dodged the question ing that he would be willing to Across America “We don’t sible to discern the intentions Though there is great un- and chose instead to talk of be a spokesperson for Walker care” rallies are being held; of the groups that call Bur- certainty about the future of his older sister. Earlier in the in the upcoming recall elec- the participants describe dokowski their role model. these demonstrations, it can be week she had taken one of his tion. Despite reportedly be- themselves as Aaronists and Common responses are “I said for sure that what happens favorite Thin Mint Girl Scout ing offered a large amount hold signs of Burdokows- don’t know” or “I don’t care.” from here can be traced back cookies and eaten it, prompt- of money to be the keynote kis grinning face covered in Outside analysts are moni- to one boy who started it all, ing a swift and deliberate re- speaker at a fundraiser din- spaghetti sauce. A rally held toring the situation closely little Aaron Burdokowski who sponse involving unilateral ac- ner for Walker, Burdokowski last weekend in Washing- as support of the movement was unafraid to say “I don’t tion involving “telling mom” respectfully declined. Ac- ton D.C. on the steps of the grows rapidly. Expert on mass know.” Through inaction he and “took(ing) one of her cording to his mother, Aaron Lincoln Memorial drew over non-direction Dr. Michelle garnered the support of mil- taters” at dinner later that day. had a scheduling conflict 5000 non-committal protest- Yuenicoern sees it moving in lions who share his happy-go- His opinions on the cam- consisting of a play-date ers. Those involved tend to one of two directions. “These lucky, ignorance-is-bliss atti- paign remain elusive; blank and being home for dinner. be totally open, and to some ‘happy as I am’ demonstra- tude. For now the young leader stares and personal anecdotes Despite and likely because extent proud of their lack of tions are at a point where they is happy to take each day as it dominated the conversation. of his true and innocent igno- knowledge on topics such will fizzle out as participants comes; he is just a kid after all. NEWS Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Volume XVII Issue VII Page 2 Chamber of Storage opened REAL NEWS Lockhart BULLETIN: rendered useless By Laurel McKenzie Dance Marathon

Evidence gathered last Tuesday has confirmed the comes to Fox Cities existence of a basilisk that has in fact been prowling the By Catie Edmondson halls of North for the past two weeks. Upon the discovery of The first annual Fox Cities Rodney’s beloved cat para- Dance Marathon (FCDM) hit lyzed and hanging from the Appleton North April 21 and ceiling of the main stairwell, 22. The dance event will be authorities have announced Another close call for an anonymous North student held in the gym from 8 p.m. their conclusion that a giant as he defends himself from the mysterious beast. to 12 a.m., and is open to the serpent is preying on North’s Photo from www.warnerbros.com. community. All the money inhabitants. drawn by curiosity about this ished up in Clintonville, re- raised will benefit the Chil- “It is at this point that we enormous beast and its back- ported later that day that they dren’s Hospital in Neenah. advise everyone to start car- ground. were quite nearly certain that Sophomore Janice Wu is rying around hand mirrors,” Said one source in the the basilisk may or may not one of the organizers of the event, which is headed up by stated one unnamed source in school’s library, “All of our be residing in the theatre’s the Appleton Career Acad- the administration. “For those copies of Fantastic Beasts prop room or wishing a five- Yeng Yang breakdances emy, with help from a small without mirrors we’ve de- and Where to Find Them have mile or so radius. Ish. during the FCDM kick- group at Appleton East High cided to leave large puddles off event held in North’s been checked out – it’s ridic- In addition, a grainy video School. North is the first on the floor, for the sake of ulous, almost as bad as the has surfaced showing an omi- high school to ever organize commons. Photo by Nate reflection. At the very least, time there was that horcrux nous note, apparently written a Dance Marathon without Correia. students and staff should start craze.” When asked for a fol- by an enabler of the basilisk, the help of a college, she The event doesn’t just of- walking around with their low-up on the horcrux state- in red whiteboard marker. said. fer the opportunity to dance phone camera’s up. Bans on ment, the source declined to The note briefly details that “The most popular Dance for a good cause: “we have mobile devices are being lift- comment and vanished into a furtive room has been un- Marathons are organized by comedians lined up, there ed at this time.” the Restricted Section with a locked and that adversaries University of Iowa; they’ve will be areas partitioned off The dreaded basilisk, a box of candied pineapple. of the successor had better been doing them for about so people can play sports or creature of largely fantas- Local authorities had been watch their backs. Mr. East- thirty years. Denise Hajos just hang out,” and the food tic derivation whose direct trying for days to locate the man, whose room was the lo- from the Children’s Hospital will be plenty, Wu said. glance can cause instant death basilisk’s lair, but to little cation of this warning, simply approached us and asked us Radio station KISS FM and venom is reputed as the avail. Finally, however, a new laughed and began writing in to [organize and host the mar- is DJing the event, and has most deadly in the world, is search technique called look- a battered, 50-year-old diary, athon]. So far about eighty pledged to support the event a rare occurrence though not ing was applied with mixed after which he made creative people have confirmed, and “every single year,” as the entirely unheard of. As cures results. use of an unhinged stapler to we’ve had people getting ex- organizers at North hope to with draughts of mandrake Wading through the yards scratch his own back. cited about it,” Wu said. make the Dance Marathon an potion are difficult to come of snakeskin in the music Authorities are still hot on Patients will be attending annual event. by, the administration recom- hallway, the leader of the in- the trail of this elusive preda- the marathon to share their The goal is to get one thou- sand people to attend. The mended that prevention is the vestigation’s only comment tor, and they’re pretty inter- stories about the help they received from the Children’s participation fee is twenty best medicine. of the search was, “Some- ested in Mr. Eastman’s suspi- Hospital in Neenah. dollars, which includes a “Stay away from drains, thing tells me we’re almost cious journaling as well. And Wu emphasized that be- ticket to the dance and a T- corners, and open spaces,” a there.” finally, if they can’t solve this cause the event focuses on shirt. different authority figure ad- Sadly, he was not able to the fun way, they’ll give up solely aiding the local hospi- The dance was originally vised. “The basilisk could ap- act on his hunch because he and simply play rooster crows tal, the patients are “people advertised as a twelve-hour pear anywhere.” went around the corner alone through the PA system until from your neighborhood, event, with a participation While questions on how to and was mysteriously para- the fat snake keels over. people from my neighbor- fee of $100. Wu said the conduct classes without the lyzed. Mandrake potion is This is investigative re- hood…what the community event was recently revamped benefit of anywhere being being brewed directly. porter Laurel McKenzie, re- gives is going to directly to better fit the schedules of safe are being raised, most A team of malicious-anom- porting from AP Psych after help others in their commu- the patients and dancers at- of the public’s attention is alies locators, having just fin- a test. nity.” tending. Grades really don’t matter, study shows should one choose to at- looking for in applicants.” friends and pictures. The more actually communicating with By Jon Hidde tend college, do not matter Professor Pullman’s assis- friends and pictures that they another human being. It’s A recent study performed at all in the business world. tant, Dr. Henry Smyth of the have online, the more suitable obvious to our HR depart- by the University of Phoenix One university, in addition research department, even they are for the job. Dr. Smyth ment that the most important has definitively proven that to filling out the one-page went so far as to interview stated: “Businesses used to thing a new applicant can be grades, in fact, do not matter. questionnaire that was sent multiple businesses in regards check college transcripts for qualified in is wasting time The study, performed by out with the study, even pro- to what they were looking eligibility, but have decided on the Internet. The value of Professor Richard Pullman, vided Professor Pullman with for in potential employees. that aptitude and face-to-face this skill is above all others.” has performed surveys of more insight. They said: “The Dr. Smyth discovered that communication skills are no The clear message to take various colleges and em- three characteristics we really businesses have been us- longer necessary for success.” from these quotes and the ployers across the coun- look for in students are what ing a new technique, called A representative of a busi- study performed is that try, and has determined that we find to be the most im- the “Facebook Check,” to ness in Chicago was quot- grades and aptitude truly do grades in high school do portant. Active tweeting on- determine a prospective em- ed in the research paper as not matter in such a technol- not play an important role line, spending a great deal of ployee’s merit. This process saying: “Intelligence and a ogy driven world. It has be- in gaining entrance to col- time on Facebook, and hav- is performed by checking on good attitude won’t get you come apparent that no mat- lege, or the business world. ing an extremely nice smile the applicant’s Facebook, and anywhere in this world, and ter what, you will win. At Similarly, college grades, are all things we are actively finding a ratio between their don’t even get me started on least a participation medal. OPINIONS Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 3 Let your voice A time to kill time Ssssssssome complaintssssssss does not fit them, so why do we reflect no By Raphael Allen Dear Noctiluca Editorial for thesssssssse totally unrelat- still try to fit unique people into Ssssssssstaff: ed instanssssssssss of paralys- a rigid and impersonal time individuality As a member of the human ssssissssss? Why immediately measurement systems? This is race and a participant in the I am writing with cons- asssssssssssume it issssssssss Disclaimer un-intuitive. Burger King gives shared illusion of time, I see sssssern about the amount the work of a mythic, sssssss- Almost all content printed in me what I want: if I ask for a it fit to make a few observa- of dissssscrimination to- satanical creature? While I this issue of the Noctiluca is hamburger with everything tions. Throughout life we are wardsssssss ssssssome can relate to the conssssssern in the happy, facetious nature constrained by our duties be- except the mustard and pickle, of April Fools, unless explic- sssssspessssific members of for persssssssonal well-being, cause they must be executed that’s what I’m getting. If we itly stated otherwise, usually the sssssssstudent body. I musssssst protessssssst the all were to dance to the beat of by labels on stories and pages in a timely fashion. According While I prefer to remain method of correction. I beg our own drum we would look that say “Real.” All jokes and to some, a universally accepted annonymousssss, I refusssssse the adminissssssstration to be ridiculous, but that’s a topic for punch lines are done with the standard for time-keeping is a to keep my opinionssssssss in more cautiousssssss when it another time, which happens lightest of intents. Any resem- necessity to a working society. the dark. The attackssssssss, comessssssss to pointing fin- blance you may find between to be now, because a sufficient In this modern age, where free- unprovoked attackssssss, gerssssss. the fictions we create and amount of it has passed accord- thinking and drum circles reign I might add, that are be- On a totally unrelated sssss- the realities of your life are ing to my preferences. supreme, individuals are not al- ing directed towardsssssss subject, I would alssssso like purely coincidental. In truth, The argument has been lowed to conduct their lives to sssssssstudentsssssss of the to assssssesssss the nesssesss- we share with you a good their own schedules. raised that if we were all to laugh and a jovial slap on the sssssssserpintine perssssssua- sity of roossssssster callsssssss We are unnaturally persuad- abide by our own ways of back. As Shakespeare’s Puck sion are incredibly offensssss- to be played in the ssssss- measurement, +nothing would would say... “Give me your ed into adopting a calendar and sive. Sssssssnakes, ssssssser- choool. Roosssssterssssss are get accomplished, that chaos hands if we be friends, and a 24 hour day. I find this restric- pants, and basssssilisssskssss foul creaturessssss, unfit to be would ensue and an exciting Robin shall restore amends!” tive, if not overtly fascist – our are just asssssss much a part of heard by the resssssssssst of yet dangerous Mad Max sce- big government telling us, the this vibrant, multi-fassssseted the world. Alsssssssso, ssssss- The Hourly Radio staff dili- nario would occur. To this I people, how to regard the pass- ssssschool asssssss anyone some of ussssss may have an gently ignores any submitted raise a philosophical point that ing of something as personal as elsssssse. Never before have I aversssssion to the noissssssse. letters that are not entirely will likely take the reader on a our own interpretation of time. felt ssssssso inssssssssulted in It issssss grating and may in consistent with accepted wild ride called a tangent. If the Personally, I run on the Martian my long life. fact indussssssse death. Ple- views. Please limit submis- day, Plutonian year, the spar- ultimate goal of life is selfish sions to no more than 250 I undersssssstand the assssssssse think about the row minute and the orange sec- happiness, then it is sound log- words. Lower caste submis- pressssssent ssssssituation, little people before playing the ic to draw the incontrovertible sions will not be printed, and ond. If I were using commonly of coursssssse. It would not dessssspicable roossssster’s and empirically proven point all writing will be heavily accepted measures I could say do to have a threat of any de- call in classssss. Livessssss that only by completely ignor- edited as per society mores. that my system runs like clock- mographic in the building. may be at ssssstake. ing other people will true con- All letters to the editor can work, except the orange second However, it appearssssssss be submitted to the Hourly tentment arise. Now more than is sinusoidal in nature, thus to me that conclusionssssss I thank you for your time Radio offices in the Bureau ever we need selfish motiva- rendering interval based mech- have been jumped to in the and publishing thissssssss of Propaganda at 666 Fleet tion, to do things for ourselves anisms obsolete. I use these casssssssse of the ressssss- humble letter, Street, floors 0-2. and by our own time. Time flies highly precise systems because sent attackssss. Why are we when you’re having fun, espe- they fit me. One would not be so not blaming a converssssssion Sssssslytherin’sssssssssss Mission Statement careless as to wear a shoe that cially if it’s not linear. To publish news, informa- dissssorder or tentanussssss Monsssssster tion, entertainment and soci- etal views for and about Al- phas and Betas, with the twin Fears and Deers Editorial Staff goals of consistency and or- Laurel McKenzie...... Editor-In-Chief thodoxy. Our goal is to main- Image by Andy Barta Abbey Edmonds...... Editor-In-Chief tain high ethical standards and provide a forum for care- By Laurel McKenzie, who hangs her head in shame at the Christian Bakken...... News Editor fully monitored content, with improper grammar of the above headline but is still really Catie Edmondson...... News Editor which readers can become amused by the fact that there is a list of phobias and ungu- Austin Herrling...... Opinions Editor further acquainted with the lates in the paper. Arpita Wahal...... Features Editor processes that facilitate their Sarah Dalgleish...... Centerspread Editor lives. The newspaper strives Fears Deers Andrew Vanden Boogaard...... Sports Editor for a high level of compe- Ephebiphobia – fear of youth Elaphodus cephalophus – Tuft- Sean Lyons...... Culture Editor tency and welcomes only a Nate Corriea...... Photography and Graphics Editor single dimension of scope, Xenephobia – fear of strangers ed Deer Aaron Ramponi...... Staff Advisor depth and breadth of cover- Androphobia – fear of men Dama dama – Fallow Deer age in order to heighten sta- Coulrophobia – fear of clowns Panolia eldii – Eld’s Deer bility and obediency through- Nomophobia – fear of being Elphurus davidianus – Peré out Western Europe. out of cell phone reception David’s Deer Omphalophobia – fear of bel- Hyelaphus porcinus – Hog Contributors Policy Statement lybuttons Deer Published once a week, the Phobophobia – fear of having Cervus elaphus – Red Deer Raphael Allen Whitney Shapiro upper caste newspaper of a phobia Capreolus pygargus – Siberian Joey Jandecek Paul McCartney Western Europe is a forum in which its carefully selected Agyrophobia – fear of crossing Roe Deer Jerry Seinfeld Max Edwards editorial board engineers con- roads Axis axis – Axis Deer Sam Allen Rodney tent to match conditioning. Tetraphobia – fear of the num- Rusa alfredi – Visayan Spotted Joy Poole Andy Barta Unsigned editorials ex- ber four Deer Bono Your Mom press the views of Utopia and Trypophobia – fear of small Hyelaphus calamianensis – Matt Hendrickson Isabella Lucas all of its residents. Letters to holes Calamian Deer The basilisk Maya Murzello the editor must be signed, as Turophobia – fear of cheese Hydropotes inermis – Chinese Trent Tetzlaff all should aspire to contribute Spasmenagaliaphobia – fear of Water Deer John Hidde to the world of their fellows. broken glass Cervus maral – Maral Deer Consumption Katie Fleming The paper reserves the Stygiophobia – fear of Hell Hippocamelus antisensis – right to edit letters for their ideas, and all letters are sub- Automatonophobia – fear of North Andean Deer ject to laws governing pro- humanoid objects Dama mesopotamica – Persian active censorship, as are all Ipovlopsychophobia – fear of Fallow Deer The Noctiluca is also available online. contents of the paper. having one’s photograph taken Hyelaphus kuhlii – Bawean Community, Identity, Hippopotomonstrosesquipeda- Deer Visit us at www.aasd.k12.wi.us/north. Stability. liophobia – fear of long words L. laurelicus - Awesome Deer FEATURES Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 4 STUDENT SPOTLIGHT: North to open petting zoo Profiles of Students at Our School By Arpita Wahal and Katie Fleming

Appleton North staff and students have been pre- paring to open Appleton North’s very first petting zoo. When the zoo opens, students will be given the opportunity to rent a llama. •Name: Tinky-Winky •Name: Laa Laa Llamas will be available to •Siblings: La-La, •Hobbies: sliding down ride during passing time if Dipsy, Po the Tubbytronic Super- students feel their backpacks •Hobbies: eating Tub- dome; bouncing her are too heavy. The elevators by Toast; carrying a red big orange ball; enjoys are under construction so purse; enjoys dancing jumping that they may accommo- •Quote: “Big hug!” •Quote: “Again! Again!” date llamas and other furry Furry creatures are to arrive soon at North’s campus. creatures. The llamas will also be trained so they may increased likelihood of es- be the new parking lot for be of assistance in case any- caping lions. Students must North students. Students on one gets lost during the first keep in mind that teachers the tennis team will be sent week of school. are not responsible for any by bus to the tennis courts “The Appleton North Zoo damage done to students by located at FVL High school will be an opportunity for hungry elephants, penguins, during their season to prac- students to get involved and or monkeys. tice. learn about responsibility,” During lunch period, stu- Due to a banana throw- one junior states. dents may eat their lunch ing incident which was ob- “Future Zoo Keepers of out near the zoo, but may served when the students of not offer any of the food to the Career Academy visited •Name: Po America” will be the extra- •Name: Dipsy the animals. However, if a the monkeys at the local •Hobbies: saying curricular activity for stu- •Hobbies: vacuuming, zoo thirty years ago, stu- hello (“eh-oh”), using her dents interested in pursuing student does not wish to fin- dancing; giving big hugs; dents must keep a distance shiny square belly to see a career in veterinary medi- ish their veggies they may encouraging Noo Noo to of at least eight feet from happy children; speak- cine. Students of the new place them in the panda’s clean Tubby Custard the orangutans. ing Cantonese; riding her club will be responsible for cage for him to enjoy. •Quote: “Run Away! North students and staff scooter; blowing bubbles chopping the bamboo im- North staff has agreed to Run Away!” are working hard to create with her antenna ported from Japan regularly use the student parking lot to house the animals. Con- a welcoming environment •Quote: “Boo!” so that the bears don’t go hungry and try to escape. struction workers have been for the new guests who are Intruder drills will be done working to tear down the to arrive soon at North cam- on a weekly basis due to the tennis courts as this will pus. North to become full charter school By Maya Murzello

The Superintendent of the Appleton Area School Photo from Google Images. District, Lee Allinger, has announced that Appleton Teletubbies Crossword North will fully become a charter school. Appleton East was considered; however, the idea was met by criticism from parents. The board will implement the changes next school year Students will be taught using inquiry-based learning. 2012-2013. Our principal Photo from Google Images. could not be contacted for giving students a better un- The Post-Crescent reported comment as this is break- derstanding and experience about the controversy about ing news. on a variety of career op- East becoming a charter The charter school will portunities. school. Parents have had be project and inquiry A meeting will be held a mixed reaction to the an- based where students work for parents on May 7th at 7 nouncement. Supporters in groups and help teach p.m. The school board will say students will gain a each other. There will be answer any questions con- better understanding of the no tests; however, grades cerning the new transition. workplace. Critics counter will be assigned based on East was in the talks for be- that not all students learn the group outcome. In ad- coming the charter school. better this way and North is dition, the new system will However, North will be the only high school close focus more on careers and the test school for the idea. to home. FEATURES Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 5 March sudoku solutions North to provide school with iPads At present, teachers are will serve as planners and Y 3 4 O 5 7 U using Moodle and Edmodo and a device for everyday 5 3 6 to communicate with stu- readings. On the iPad, stu- 9 5 3 8 dents and to remind them of dents can keep their sched- A 4 8 R E assignments and upcoming ule, takes notes, and write tests. Students can only ac- down any homework they 4 1 6 3 7 ccess these websites on their have. Photo from Google Images. computers at home. How- The school will save 6 A 3 9 W 2 8 By Maya Murzello ever, with the iPad, students money by having textbooks will be able to work on all available on iPad apps. The 6 3 8 9 5 1 3 With technology becom- of their homework at any school also won’t have to 4 S O ing second nature to us, the time in school such as while frequently buy books be- E 2 8 school has decided to give waiting for an extracurricu- cause of wear and tear. 7 M E 2 5 9 4 iPads to all North students lar activity to begin. In addition, the students’ and staff. In May, the staff The money for the iPads backpacks will be lighter. 7 4 9 8 3 6 will be receiving iPads while was donated by a sponsor. With the new iPads, North the students will receive The principal, Mr. Huggins students will have all their their iPads the following says that the iPads will be textbooks at arm’s reach. Copper Rock to install school year, 2012- 2013. multipurpose device. They coffee fountains at North Horoscopes: April Fool’s Cancer (June 22- July 22-December 21) By Katie Fleming The caffeinated beverages 22) Bigfoot is real, and he Try to catch the Easter Bun- ny, but be careful because he are expected to boost the knows where you live. bites.. Students are excited about energy of students and al- Leo (July 23- August 22) North’s new “water” foun- low them to power through This would be a good month Capricorn (December tains. To help students stay the remainder of the school to wear a monocle and talk 22-January 19) awake and focus in class, year. But don’t worry. For with a British accent. Whatever you do, don’t step especially during the final those who like good old- on any of the red tiles in the quarter of the school year, fashioned H2O they will still Virgo (August 23- hallways. the school management and be able to access it from the September 22) staff have agreed to install same fountain. For water, By Isabella Lucas Show your teachers some Aquarius (January 20- new coffee fountains in all students will simply have to love, give ’em a hug. February 18) Aries (March 1- April 29) of the North hallways. push the button on the front Be sure you knock four Instead of walking, skip to times on your locker before As North students have of the machine. For coffee, Libra (September 23- all of your classes. opening to scare away the been providing a steady students will push the red October 23) Clean your room when you gnomes. stream of income to the cof- button located on the side Taurus (April 20- May 20) get home, it needs it. fee shop, Copper Rock has of the machine. North stu- Every time someone says Pisces (February 19- agreed to sponsor the new dents frequently go to the your name, you must do the Scorpio (October 24- March 20) coffee fountains and has neighboring business, Cop- chicken dance. November 21) Every day you’re shufflin’. provided North with a com- per Rock, before and after Do Rodney a solid, give him plimentary one-year supply school to study and hang Gemini (May 21- June 21)] a piece of candy. To Everyone (Jan. 1- Dec. of coffee. out with friends. Every fifteenth sentence you 31) All kidding aside, take say must be sung in opera Sagittarius (November the time to tell the people in voice. your life that you love them. Heard in the Hallway By Katie Fleming

“Rodney, got any candy?”

“Just eight weeks until summer!”

“I’m so cold in my flip- flops!”

“Hey, new licensed driver right over here!”

“I know, I know, I got sun burnt..” CENTERSPREAD Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 6 Humans seek more knowledge on mythical creatures junk in their everyday lives, ask ‘Why?’ and then rage out Gremlin population us gremlins like to do our part of the room they’re in,” said responsible for daily by destroying that last bit of a the gremlin. disturbances person that’s not completely To explain this peculiar be- full of rage and anxiety,” said havior, cutting edge scientists By Sam Allen one of their population, pos- have come to the conclusion ing as a freshman at Appleton that gremlins are an evolu- If we have learned anything North High School. This par- tionary offshoot of college from this economic crisis of ticular gremlin also happens roommates, citing their similar ours, it’s that some people just to be the one responsible for practices of borrowing things love to live off of human suf- snapping off the keyboard legs but having them returned with fering. This is never any truer at every computer in the LMC, peculiar scents, and “acciden- than with Appleton’s grem- nuggeting your backpack, tally” throwing away things lins, also known to us as those and rearranging everything that you cherished. It’s a cruel small, evil folk that make ev- in your bedroom exactly one world, but these gremlins, just inch from its previous posi- like that kid that accidentally erything askew. Pictured is a Hollywood representation of a Gremlin from tion. These rearrangements are spits chunks of food at you “In these times when peo- the 1990s movie Gremlins 2. ple can afford little more than simply meant to “make people when he talks, will always be to hang on to the decaying throw their arms up in the air, there to make it even crueler.

Rare unicorn spotted lifetime of bad luck. This was not the first time that Luckily, they didn’t scare a unicorn was thought to have in Appleton him. Fischer recalls her mem- been seen. ory: “I was extremely shaky A senior at Appleton East By Joey Jandacek because I have never seen a High School, Shelby Tarr, unicorn before.” After these believes to have seen one of March 29 marked the first events took place, a rabbit these rare unicorns while go- time that a rare purple spot- jumped out and sent the uni- ing for a run on the Thrivent ted unicorn was ever caught corn flying into the sky, leav- Trail. Although she couldn’t on camera. Alumni Julie Jan- ing a rainbow trail. The girls get any footage of this, she still dacek, 20, and Courtney Fis- next went to explore to see if believed what she saw no mat- cher, 19, were out on a picnic any others were around. They ter what anyone said. “I know when they heard a rustle in had to be careful to not step on what I saw!” she shouted at the the bushes behind them. As anything the unicorn dropped. authorities, “It WAS a unicorn!” they went to check it out, they “I remember seeing a pile of Now, it doesn’t seem like such couldn’t believe their eyes. gold lying on the ground,” a far fetched idea. There will There it was; the glowing says Jandacek, “we decided it be a mass request to come for- purple spots on a shiny white would be best to leave it.” ward with any information on coat of this unicorn greatly Unicorns are very unique the location of these unicorns. surprised them. creatures. As they age, they The government is in dire Artists have tried for eons to capture the majes- “I didn’t know what to do at grow a spot for every year un- need of a unicorn to estimate tic beauty of this creature. Here one artist depicts first,” says Jandacek “I quick- til they become full of spots. whether or not these majestic the unicorn after he has shed his spots and starts ly told Courtney to get out When they reach the point animals will go extinct. One anew. There is no way to tell how old this unicorn her phone and take a picture.” where there’s no more room thing that helps is looking for a is for all we know this could be the same unicorn Courtney made sure she was for spots, they shed their skin rainbow and finding its end for painted in pictures aging back hundreds of years. quiet enough as to not scare it like a snake and start anew. this is where a unicorn landed. away. If you don’t know this, The skin that sheds then va- scaring a unicorn gives you a porizes and becomes rain.

Bigfoot spotting: finding this marvelous beast. How to catch a One of the BSG’s headquar- Sasquatch in a few ters is located in downtown Appleton on College Avenue, easy steps unfortunately to gain access to the group you must have expe- By Joy Poole rienced a Sasquatch encounter yourself. Yes, you heard it here first: So here’s your chance, take a the infamous Sasquatch has few hours this week and drive been spotted in Northern Wis- up to a nice spot of wilderness consin. Locals are on the look in Northern Wisconsin and get

out for the Chewbacca- resem- ready to meet the most elusive All Images from Google bling creature and are on high king of the forest. alert for any sudden attacks/ Here are a few tips to ef- When hunting Big Foot make sure your picture is as blurry as the one pictured here. sightings/friendly or frighten- ficiently capture or lure a Big- ing encounters. foot into your proximity: You be mistaken for any other crea- car in the middle of the wilder- and don’t forget to pack food The BSG (Bigfoot Spotters need the right equipment, such ture in the forest. ness somewhere. In my exten- and water, you wouldn’t want Group) have set up spontane- as a large poking stick and a Another necessity would be sive research on the behaviors to be in a dire situation in case ous research camps all over camera. If you spot the beast, a base camp, but if you can not of Sasquatch, howling in a something happens… Well, Northern Wisconsin, hoping to make sure the picture you take swing the cash to buy a new deep, husky voice will bring happy Squatching! catch a glance and get closer to is very blurry and could almost tent and such, just park your the Squatch right to you. Oh, CENTERSPREAD Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 7 Which Mythical Creature are you?

Run away Check it out You are walking alone outside and hear a noise in the bushes. You…

Watch TV Leave it When you look into When you get home you… bushes you see a puppy. You ...

When you encounter stress during your day the best way to relax is… Find its owner Go to sleep

There is a power outage Eating dessert Exercising in your neighborhood. When you encounter a You… bully you...

In a bubble bath Stand up to them Light a candle Embrace the darkness Tell a figure of authority You are a vampire. You You are a fairy. You are intelligent and witty, are recognized for but many never get to see You are an elf. You are shy your beauty both this side of you because and unassuming but have on the inside and it is masked behind a a fun and mischievous outside, though be mysterious façade. People side to you whenever careful because your are often intrigued by you are around your best confidence is often your cool and indifferent friends. You are in good mistaken as vanity vibe, but deep down company with famous and arrogance. You’re you are compassionate elves such as Legolas from among famous fairies and caring. Your persona Lord of the Rings and like Tinkerbell from resembles other famous Dobby from Harry Potter. Peter Pan and Sookie vampires such as Edward from True Blood. Cullen from the Twilight series. CULTURE Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 8 Today’s Sir Paul McCartney is actually a hipster jerk headlines By: Sean Lyons tically means that you’re roy- Tom Cruise to alty. The band’s influence is Two weeks ago, Sir Paul paramount. star in Ray Charles McCartney came to our Biopic. office for a brief interview McCartney: “Yeah, what- See page 24 concerning his controver- ever.” sial statements made at a press conference last week Noctiluca: Right.... so in re- in which he renounced his gards to your press confere- participation in the Beatles, his reasons being that they McCartney: “Have you ever were “too mainstream.” He listened to the nylon noise ba- bies? walked in carrying a long- board. That day he dressed Photo from www.realsea.net Noctiluca: No, Paul, I can’t in a flannel button up shirt, say that I’ve ever heard of President Mahmoud Levi Skinny jeans, and a them. Now, can we please Ahmedinajad attempts pair of Doc Martens. Smell- get back to your comments of Jedi mind trick on ing vaguely of patchouli, your renouncing your- he sat down with me for an President Obama interview that spanned the McCartney: “I went to their See page 17 next hour. first concert ever, saw them before anyone else had the Noctiluca: Thank you for chance. Their style is like a sitting down with me today, mixture of the Ashford Wings Paul. I really must say that and the Stylo Dryers. Their so it’s an honor, having an op- unique, I’m positive that they portunity to sit down with a Photo from www.beatlesnews.livejournal.com will never reach commercial Beatle. les started in your childhood? success, and I love that about them. McCartney: (cringes) “No, McCartney: “Yeah, exactly, McCartney: “Yeah, I bought Photo from the whole store actually, but www.huffingtonpost.com no, the pleasure’s all mine, re- now as I was saying; I was sit- Noctiluca: Paul, seriously, ting in my kitchen last week, that’s besides the point.” I’m behind my deadline. No Captain Kirk and ally.” watching the football (soccer) one knows about those bands Spock killed in Noct: Are you alright, Paul? game on the tube (T.V.), eat- Noctiluca: I am not even go- because they aren’t worth bizarre catering ing fish and chips, when sud- ing to ask. knowing. Their names are accident McCartney: “Oh, I’m good, denly I realized that I didn’t stupid. just, it’s nothing, nothing.” enjoy getting my bi-weekly McCartney: “Very well See page 5 royalty checks.” then.” (nods head up and McCartney: “Yeah, fine, fine. Noctiluca: Right... So the big down) What do you want to know?” question that our readers are Noctiluca: Wait, just a mo- wondering about, I mean, the ment Paul, did you just say McCartney: “And then I Noctiluca: Why you quit the comment section of our web- that you were eating “fish and realized that being in the Beatles, Paul!! site is really being filled up chips?” Beatles cased my misery that with questions about it, is re- we’re talking about today. I’m McCartney: “Well, Mr. regarding your statements to the McCartney: “Yeah, well a rich old man, and I hate it. porter man, let me just say that BBC last week. It appears that what the big deal with me say- I’d like to go back to the ba- they were getting boring. The Photo form: you’ve denounced ever being ing that?” sics; everyone knows my work image, and let me tell you, I’m www.justjennrecipes.com in the Beatles. and I can’t stand it.” all about maintaining my own Bob Dylan: “This Noctiluca: You’re also fa- self-image, was something of McCartney: “That’s correct, mous for being an avid sup- Noctiluca: But why does a non-underground image.” coffee sucks.” yes.” porter of PETA. You’re a your popularity disturb you? strict vegetarian, Paul. You’re recognized! Noctiluca: That’s all I wanted Noctiluca: But why? It’s just to know, Paul. astounding that you would McCartney: “Oh, balder- McCartney: (shudders) erase yourself from your dash! Could you edit that McCartney: “Alright... say, egregious accomplishments. out? Me saying that about the Noctiluca: What? What is it? you know who used to be my fish? favorite band before they sold McCartney: “Oh yeah? And McCartney: “That word...” out? why is that? (stands up, main- Noctiluca: (sighs) Yeah, I tains a threatening stance) suppose, Paul, we’re really Noctiluca: What word? Rec- Noctiluca: Paul, I don’t care. getting off topic here. ognized? Noctiluca: N-no Paul! N-n- McCartney: “Phish, I saw McCartney: “Oh yes, posi- Photo from: www.lastfm.com nothing of the sort, we’re all McCartney: “Yes, yes, right, them while I was attending just curious about your rea- well as I was saying, before tively disturbing, I must ad- art school, majoring in Cray- ALIENS! sons for quitting the Beatles you interrupted me, I was out mit, that this title is really put- ola © studies.” indefinitely, about your insist- clothes shopping with my wife ting a damper on my outlook ing that you were never actu- and daughter when I real- socially.” Noctiluca: In what sense ally in the band. ized that I could open up my are they sellouts? No, wait, I wallet and from the money in Noctiluca: What do you don’t care enough to stay here McCartney: “Oh yeah, there I could buy every article mean, Paul? any longer. (stands up, walks right… (sits down) well, it of clothing in the store if I out of office, slams door) started when I was a lad liv- wanted to. And that made me McCartney: “I mean that the ing in Liverpool,” feel disgusting, I felt lazy and Beatles are passe, a flop, a McCartney: (Sits and looks washed up.” crusty, old, undesirable fad.” around the office, notices that Noctiluca: Your denial of I left my wallet, looks inside your participation in the Beat- Noctiluca: Did you buy any Noctiluca: Paul, that’s hardly and steals my library card). Photo from www.mememaker.net clothes? the case. Being a Beatle prac- CULTURE Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 9 Jack White says no to White Stripes Psychic Rodney amazes with reunion, has nothing else to do By Matt By Sean Lyons his candy choosing skills Hendrickson Out with the old, and in knows Rodney. But you may can read minds. I’ll take a mo- with the zilch. This is the not know everything about ment to let it sink in. I know I course that Jack White is evi- Rodney. For example, one day was shocked when I realized dently taking. Recently, sit- Everyone who goes to I asked Rodney for candy. As it. I mean come on; it’s scary ting down for an interview Appleton North knows usual, Rodney’s response was enough that Rodney’s an ex- with NME magazine, Jack Rodney the janitor. Rodney “Rodney’s out.” But despite Marine drill sergeant that can White, the former front man wanders the halls speaking his words, Rodney reached make football players cry. But for the White Stripes, insisted in third person, Rodney Rodney can that there is “absolutely no into his hands out candy to people read minds chance” of the White Stripes pouch to who ask for it (unless Rod- too? We’re getting back together. give me ney’s out), Rodney sings all doomed! The news saddens many. some candy happy birthday in a ridicu- Where did For some, it’s the simple fact (remember, lously loud voice at least these powers that the band is now extinct, freshmen, if five times a week during come from? but for all, that White, since Rodney tells the lunch hours, and Rod- Was Rod- breaking up the band five you Rod- ney rants for a considerable ney a part of years ago, hasn’t done any- ney’s out of Photo from www.lastfm.com amount of time on the an- some secret thing. candy, Rod- Jack White arriving at nouncements (by the way, government His usual ambitious and ney’s lying the Grammys this year. those rants have gotten a conspiracy hard-working personality has to you). I lot longer since my fresh- to give peo- deteriorated over the past five injuries, leaving Thorton to thought to man year). Love Rodney ple psychic years since the band’s breakup chase after White for the rest myself that or hate Rodney, you defi- powers? Or into a lazier, more borderline of the night, brandishing an it would be nitely know Rodney… or did Rodney psychotic persona. White was unidentifiable weapon. “Some awesome if do you? spend years recently hospitalized after his folks call it a sling blade, I call the candy No, you do, everybody of harsh very public nervous break- it a Kaiser blade, mmmmmh- R o d n e y Photo by Nate Correia training and down at the Grammy’s this hhm!” said Thorton. River’s dress, White man- gave me was meditation with some ancient year, where he arrived look- After running away from aged to shock only Rivers, a grape flavored jolly rancher, order of monks to achieve this ing gaunt, cradling a Stoog- Thorton, a handful of eye- who was the only one at the because I was really in the telepathic ability? Perhaps es single, and muttering the witness testimonies say that Grammy’s who thought she mood for one. And when Rodney is actually from a fu- words: “Search and Destroy” White then made it to the didn’t deserve it. Even securi- Rodney put the candy in my ture where everyone has psy- repeatedly. Despite his admi- bar inside and hit on the bar- ty guard John Levenson, who hand, it was a grape flavored chic powers. I don’t know, all rable fandom of the Stooges, tender. She had this to say of was called to escort White off jolly rancher, exactly like I I know is that I’ll need to be White’s behavior that night the experience: “I thought he of the premises was hesitant. had been hoping for. careful around Rodney from was extremely bizarre. Taking was rather charming, actually, “I just thought, “who cares?”” I was flabbergasted. How now on. And so do you. Your off his shoes and putting them although he ate all of the bar said Levenson, regarding Ms. could Rodney possibly give secrets aren’t safe around on his hands, he proceeded napkins. He was here for only River’s third degree burns. “I me the exact kind of candy I Rodney. to walk on all fours down the about a minute, and then he know that Jack has been up- wanted? It shouldn’t be pos- Then again, I discovered red carpet, pushing himself ran off.” tight lately, but starting Joan sible; Rodney carries around Rodney’s psychic powers be- through the legs of stand- White’s activity from that Rivers on fire is hardly an of- at least five different kinds cause Rodney used them to ing unsuspecting celebrities. point until when he sprung fensive to be banned from the of candies at any given time. give me the candy I wanted. Adele, Bruce Springsteen, back up an hour and a half premesis.” Despite popular What are the odds that Rodney That was a pretty nice thing to and Tom Jones were some later is poorly documented. demand, White was hospital- would hand me the exact kind do. Maybe I’m just overreact- of the recipients of White’s Several people say that he ized, where he was diagnosed I was hoping for? You don’t ing. Rodney is a nice guy after odd prank. Among these ce- went out to put more change with paranoid schizophrenia, need to answer that question, all. In fact, yeah, I am over- lebrities was Billy Bob Thor- in his parking meter, whereas and this has many fans wor- because I’ve already figured it reacting. There’s no need to ton, who after experiencing others insist that he spent the rying about his already-sham- out. There is only one logical be afraid of Psychic Rodney. White’s horseplay, reverted time arguing about religion bled career. “I don’t think explanation: Rodney has psy- He is a benevolent being who back to his character Karl with Bill Maher. Whatever Jack’s disorder will be any chic powers. gives us candy. Respect Rod- Childers from the 1996 dra- the cases may be, the final sort of hinderance to his mu- It’s the only way Rodney ney. But… Maybe you should ma “Slingblade.” It was then event that took place that eve- sic,” stated his agent, Roscoe possibly could have known say please the next time you that the two men started scuf- ning solidified his status as the Jones. “Perhaps it will even to give me that type of candy. ask Rodney for candy. fling, White managed to wea- newest piece of celebrity gos- make him more creative.” That’s right readers, Rodney sel away without any serious sip. After setting fire to Joan Photo from www.woman’sday.com Stephanie’s Photography

Capturing precious family moments since 1993 REAL SPORTS Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 10 Improvement main theme for Girls’ Track Team

By Whitney Shapiro Ontaneda and Jenny Jones leading the pack. On March 5, this year’s Coach Meyer enjoys work- Appleton North Girls’ Track ing with all of her throw- Team began practicing regu- ers and names senior Kadie larly. With a fresh start to the Flynn to go far this year, season and a new head coach, considering she placed fifth Jessie Schroeder, the team is at the State Track and Field looking forward to rebuild- Championships last year in ing what they lost in the re- the discus. cord breaking senior class of As the younger athletes last year. Their main goal is begin to get used to the high very basic; just continue to school track experience, their improve. abilities become greater and greater. Another team cap- As the younger tain, Mary Kate Ontaneda, adds, “I have no doubt that athletes begin to our younger athletes will be get used to the high stepping up when we need them to as the season goes school track experi- The Girls’ Track Team has achieved a wide range of accomplishments over the on.” ence, their abilities years, and they hope to continue that trend with this upcoming track season. Coach Schroeder is ex- Photo by Max Edwards. become greater and cited for the outdoor season greater. in the 800, 1600, and 3200 upperclassmen. One of the freshmen such as Kaitlin ahead so the team can reach run as well as pole-vaulters, team captains, Jenny Jones Squier and Kendra Jensen their full potential. After a A skilled coaching staff Coach Stephanie Van Lanen states, “We have a very young into great triple jumpers this strong showing in the first works toward making these is an assistant coach to all team but are looking forward year and has found great po- few indoor meets of the sea- female athletes the best that long distance runners, and to a strong season ahead. We tential in McKenzie Clemons son, such as a second place they can be. Head Coach Coach Paula Meyer instructs have improved in every event after her performance at the finish at the Manitowoc Lin- Schroeder specializes in all athletes participating in and hope to continue improv- Manitowoc Lincoln Invita- coln Invitational out of eigh- training all of the long, triple, the shot-put and discus. ing throughout our season.” tional. teen teams, Coach Schroeder and high jumpers, sprinters, The number of freshmen As far as talent goes, this Coach Howard is anxious and the coaching staff have and hurdlers, Coach Jerry and sophomores on the Girls’ Girls’ Track Team has no to continue developing his nothing but confidence in Howard shares his expertise Track Team this year is far shortage; Coach Schroeder young distance team with the Girls’ Track Team for the with all athletes participating greater than the number of is hoping to transform a few veteran runners Mary Kate outdoor season. March Madness comes and goes, wins and losses for all

By Trent Tetzlaff But once again, a Wiscon- ketball this season and had a sin team could not pull out the legitimate shot at winning it Over the last month or so victory, ending a successful all this year. you may have a heard a thing season for the Golden Eagles. Yet, both Syracuse and or two about a little something With the favorites of the North Carolina faced massive called March Madness, oth- tournament by far being the struggles. erwise known as the NCAA Wildcats of Kentucky com- Days before the tournament Division I Men’s College Bas- ing in with only one loss, most opened, Syracuse sophomore ketball Tournament that runs of our brackets banked on the center Fab Melo was ruled all month long. Wildcats to win it all. academically ineligible, which As soon as the brackets Nevertheless, the tourna- led to many people ruling out were released in early March, ment this year has lived up to Syracuse’s possibility at win- many people raced to their its name of March Madness ning the tournament title. computers and printed off thanks to a few surprising up- At the same time, Carolina bracket upon bracket for the sets. ran into a brick wall with star enjoyment of picking our win- For instance, the upsets of sophomore point guard Kend- ners. second-seeded powerhouses all Marshall breaking his left For the few of us who got The final four: the Kentucky Wildcats, the Louisville Duke and Missouri at the wrist and forward John Hen- lucky by choosing the correct Cardinals, the Ohio State Buckeyes, and the Kansas hands of relatively unknown son also injuring his wrist, upsets, this month has been Jayhawks went head-to-head to determine the Divi- Lehigh and Norfolk State have meaning they had to lean on terrific. However, to the oth- sion I college basketball champion this year. Logo from given way to many brackets their talented NBA prospect Harrison Barnes in order to ers who haven’t had quite that Google Images. being ruined. good of luck picking winners, In addition, take a look at advance. their brackets have most likely face some very tough compe- tire country now knows the Ohio University. The Bobcats Furthermore, we know now gone to the paper shredders. tition in Syracuse and, despite kind of hard-nosed basketball were a thirteen seed that up- that both of these events ended Since two of our home a hard-fought game, could not Wisconsin brings night in and set Michigan and took down up adding to the likelihoods of state’s teams reached the pull out the win, which ended night out. South Florida with some out- these teams’ eventual losses in Sweet Sixteen (Marquette and their season. Another popular Wisconsin standing guard play and senior the Elite Eight (to Ohio State Wisconsin) most of us sports Although star Jordan Taylor team, the Marquette Golden leadership. and Kansas, respectively). fans have been glued to our was scrutinized for his lengthy Eagles, also found their way On the other hand, if you Before we knew it, March TV’s for a good part of this shot at the end of the game, all into the Sweet Sixteen and were looking for the smart pick was over and we all had to month. the blame can’t be put upon rode seniors Jae Crowder and in your bracket you most like- snap back to reality and hit Likewise, in the face of him due to the fact that bas- Darius Johnson-Odom along ly chose one seeds Kentucky, the books again, but let’s hope much criticism, the Wisconsin ketball is a team game, and the with a fast-paced offense to a Syracuse or North Carolina. that the last month of madness Badgers somehow found their game was a team loss. matchup with the Florida Ga- Both teams have been the at least kept some of us on our way into the Sweet Sixteen to Plus, from now on the en- tors. strongest in all of college bas- toes. REAL SPORTS Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue VII Page 11 Unity, leadership and confidence key to Girls’ Softball By Andrew Vanden er if they want to reach their Boogaard goals and, perhaps, even new heights. After somewhat of a re- Vandehey clarifies this, building year in 2011 (12-14 saying, “For this year’s team overall, 8-10 in FVA), this we really want to become a year’s Lightning Girls’ Soft- family. We know we have a ball Team is ready to hit the lot of talent, and we want to ground running. Nonetheless, take that to another level. All some spots will need to be teams that are successful act filled in order for this year’s like a family and we strive to team to have an impact. be that team.” “We lost Ali Plamann Yet, Shaffer asserts the (shortstop), Bryanna Stevens team’s expectations in a (1st Base), Destany Calma- broader aspect by stating, “My Birling (3rd Base), and Kim expectations for the team this Konetzke (outfield) [to gradu- year is to be successful. This ation].” says senior infielder means to work hard every day Anna Shaffer. “Everyone on and to leave practice a little this year’s team will need to better each day. step up in order to replace “Obviously the goal is to them, especially since softball be conference champions and is such a team game.” make it to state, but all of that comes from our daily dedica- “To be a leader, tion and effort.” Similarly, these expecta- it’s not all about tions and goals cannot be being vocal. fully realized without solid Yes, I am a vocal Lead- leadership. Shaffer and Van- Senior co-captain Anna Shaffer stresses the importance of both guidance and er but I also try dehey, both captains and seniors on this year’s team, will teamwork this upcoming season. Photo by The Appleton Journal. to lead by example. be looked toward for both ex- and where to throw if the ball I try my best to cheer perience as well as guidance. gets hit to one of us.” people on, and pick Still, both Shaffer and Shaffer adds, “To be a their heads up if they Vandehey will share the role leader, it’s not all about being of leader throughout this sea- vocal. Yes, I am a vocal leader make a mistake. son, which will add to their but I also lead by example. I I have confidence that responsibilities this season. try my best to cheer people we will be a strong Vandehey explains, “For on, and pick their heads up if me, leadership isn’t telling they make a mistake. I have competitor in the your teammates what to do. confidence that we will be a FVA conference.” Instead I try to lead by exam- strong competitor in the FVA -Anna Shaffer ple. Encouragement when a conference.” teammate is down on herself With leadership, and unity, “We did lose a few play- and praise for girls who do this year’s team will also need ers this year that were crucial something right is what I try to be confident that they can to the successes of the team.” to focus on. compete in an always-formi- said senior outfielder Maddie “The outfield is our own dable Fox Valley Association Vandehey. “However, many little family, giving each conference. of our players have been other advice and having each “Oshkosh West, Appleton working hard in the offsea- other’s backs. We even have a East, Kaukauna, and Kim- son to better themselves and handshake we do before every berly are four teams that are it shows.” inning. In the field we’re con- generally good every year. If Accordingly, this year’s stantly talking to one another we meet our goal of being a team will have to band togeth- so we understand the situation family, we will compete with Senior Maddie Vandehey, a 2nd Team All-Confer- ence outfielder last year, will be looked to lead and unify this year’s team. Photo by The Appleton Journal.

them. We have the talent to each player should have to beat them if we work hard and better the team.” have a positive attitude,” says Shaffer finishes by saying, Vandehey. “The coaches are sometimes Finally, as becoming a harsh, but always honest. We family has been something need that in order to improve that both the coaches and re- individually and as a team. turning players have empha- “They really emphasize sized, Vandehey concludes, teamwork, intentness, and “Normally, [becoming a fam- personal improvement. They ily] is hard for girl’s teams to seem to always be looking for do because we can be catty. the betterment of the team, However, our team gets along and that means not focusing great and becoming a family all their attention on the ‘bet- should be effortless. ter’ players. With this, I have “Our coach (Mike Mullen) high hopes for this season and also gave our team copies of a lot of confidence in the team John Wooden’s pyramid to this year.” success, which lists qualities Appleton, Wisconsin April 2012 Vol. XVII Issue XII Page 12

Mr. Parker directs Titanic actors during a rehearsal. Photos by Nate Correia

Titanicbehind the scenes

Drake Borotolameolli works the sound board. David Gansen sets up stage lights.

Costumes fill the green room.

North’s band rehearses backstage.

Chris Loveridge drills support poles in place.

The backstage sits empty.