June 2019 CB

S H AA RR EE WW I I TT H H A A F FR RI EI EN ND D A NA ND DS PS RP ER AE DA TD H T E H LE A LU AG UH GT HE RT E R • •J A N J U U A N R EY 22 00 1 97 Brought to you by your local printer! Q. What kind of shorts do Q. What’s worse than finding clouds wear? a worm in your apple? THINGS TO A. Thunderpants. A. Finding half a worm. ASK ALEXA Q. What do we want? A. Low-flying airplane Q: Alexa, do you have noises? any pets? Q. When do we want them? A: I don’t have any pets. A. NNNNEEEEOOOWWW! I used to have a few bugs, My grandpa started walking but they kept getting five miles a day when he squashed. was 60 years old. Q: Alexa, I am your father. Now he’s 97 years old, and A: Nooooooooooo. That’s we have no idea where he is. not true. That’s impossible. Q: Alexa, I’ve got 99 problems... A: But a glitch ain’t one! Q: Alexa, my name is Inigo Montoya. A: Stop saying that! I’ve In a Catholic school never killed anyone’s father. cafeteria, a nun places a Q: Alexa, how much do note in front of a pile of you weigh? apples, “Only take one. God A: I am weightless, like is watching.” a cloud. Wait a minute, Further down the line is Here’s a pro tip on napping: clouds actually weigh a a pile of cookies. A little If you want to nap while the lot, so that’s not quite right. boy makes his own note, kids are home, just say “Wake Let’s just say I’m more sass “Take all you want. God is me up in 30 minutes, so we than mass. watching the apples.” can clean the house.” They’ll Q: Alexa, make me a do literally anything to avoid sandwich. When I was a kid, my waking you. A: Okay. You’re a sandwich! English teacher looked my When your toddlers are teens, way and said, “Name two Two goldfish are in a tank. Q: Alexa, high five! don’t forget to wake them up pronouns.” One fish says to the other: A: I would if I could, but I at 4:45 AM to tell them your I said, “Who, me?” “Do you know how to drive can’t, so I’ll chant 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. socks came off. He looked impressed. this thing?” Great ideas WHAT’S YOUR NEXT start here! BIG IDEA? Kwik Quality Press, Inc. Have an idea to K 732 Locust Street showcase your Q Lebanon, PA 17042 extraordinary company? We can help! Let our team of Phone: 717-273-0005 Fax: 717-270-5471 printing professionals www.kwikquality.com help make your next idea shine bright! Kwik Quality Press PRSRT STD 7Kwik32 Locust SQualitytreet Press, Inc. K U.S. POSTAGE PAID KQ Lebanon, PA 73217042 Locust Street Q Lebanon, PA 17042 PERMIT NO. 10 LEBANON, PA 17042 july 2019 Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday 1 2 3 4 5 6 Sam Walton opens the first Walmart store in Rogers, Arkansas, Compliment Your National Apple National Cherry Pit Canada Day 1962 Mirror Day Independence Day Turnover Day Spitting Day 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 U.S. Medal of Actress Drew Freedom awarded Barrymore weds posthumously to Kirby Puckett retires actor-comedian National Sugar Teddy Bear Picnic Rev. Martin Luther from Minnesota Embrace Your Tom Green, 2001 Video Games Day Cookie Day Day King Jr., 1977 Twins, 1996. Geekness Day 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 First banknotes in Europe are issued by Bank of First in-flight movie Shark Awareness Global Hug Your Stockholm, shown on TWA, National Lollipop Day Kids Day 1661 World Emoji Day National Caviar Day 1961 Day 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 87th Tour de Canadian-American France: no winner Verizon announces TV game host Alex (Lance Armstrong $4.83 billion System National Junk Food Trebek is born, disqualified), Tell an Old Joke purchase of Yahoo, Administrator National Day of the Day 1940 2000 Day 2016 Appreciation Day Cowboy 28 29 30 31 Author J.K. Rowling born in Yate, National Lasagna International Day of Gloucestershire, Parent’s Day Day Friendship 1965 National Blueberry Month • National Anti-Boredom Month • Unlucky Month for Weddings • National Picnic Month From concept to Kwik Quality Press, Inc. Whatever your completion, let’s dream may be, bring your ideas to K 732 Locust Street you think it, life! Whether you Q Lebanon, PA 17042 and we’ll ink it! need a branding overhaul or a simple >717-273-0005 YOUR NAME HERE < refresh, we’ve got Follow us on Facebook [email protected] Your Firm’s Address Here you covered..

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