Emotional Regulation: What is it and how does it develop? By Danielle Boaden Speech-Language Pathologist and Clinical Program Assistant, The Hanen Centre

All of us experience and express emotions in a variety of ways throughout our daily experiences. We may get frustrated when we are stuck in traffic, disappointed when something we hoped for doesn’t happen and excited when our favourite sports team wins. Depending on life’s circumstance, some of us may be better at controlling how we react and express our emotions, while others may feel emotionally overwhelmed and allow their feelings to control their actions. The ability to regulate our emotions in emotionally arousing situations is the result of a set of processes that work together to reduce our emotional response in order to accomplish a specific goal (Vohs & Baumeister, 2016).

How is emotional regulation related to self-regulation? Self-regulation consists of biological, cognitive and emotional processes working together to achieve and maintain a calm and alert state in order to respond and participate in goal-directed actions (Bins, Hutchinson & Oram Cardy, 2019; Shanker, 2013). Each of these processes needs to do its own “work”, as well as work in tandem with the others in order to achieve and maintain a calm alert state. The process of emotion regulation is tasked with reducing emotional responses that may control our behaviour and impact our ability to achieve a specific goal, which in turn facilitates self-regulation (Koole & Kuhl, 2007).

Why is emotional regulation important? By managing our emotional responses effectively, we can control behaviours that sometimes accompany an emotional reaction (Vohs & Baumeister, 2016). For example, instead of giving in to our anger and yelling and honking at the motorist going slowly ahead of us, we may just take a deep breath and keep driving. The ability to regulate, especially in relation to emotions, is not only helpful to us as adults, but is critical to children’s long term academic and social success (Houseman, 2017).

Emotional regulation has to be learned During the preschool years, children regularly experience situations that trigger emotional responses, but their reactions to these experiences can vary. Another article in this month’s Wig Wag Minute titled “Supporting children’s self-regulation, the Hanen way!” outlines several of the stressors that children can be confronted with such as:

© Hanen Early Language Program, 2019. This article may not be further copied or reproduced without written permission from The Hanen Centre®. • biological stressors (e.g. hunger, fatigue) • cognitive stressors (e.g. sustaining attention) • emotional stressors (e.g. change in routine)

Some children cope with these stressors more easily than others, and the ease with which a child reacts to stressors can impact how well she or he is able to learn (Bins et al., 2019). But emotional stressors are much more than just stressful experiences; they are important opportunities to learn about emotions. These emotional experiences provide children with opportunities to learn about how emotions feel and how to react to them (Cole, Dennis, Smith-Simon & Cohen, 2009). This is especially true when a parent is responsive to their child’s emotional expressions. The responses that parents provide during a child’s emotional experience helps to build the child’s understanding and ability to manage their emotions (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall, & Turner 2004).

How are language and emotional regulation related? As we know, children use language to both comprehend what is said to them and to express how they are feeling. When children have adequate receptive and expressive language skills, they are able to express their emotions using language instead of resorting to challenging behaviours to express how they feel. This is because children can draw on their language to regulate and express their emotions. They do this by using feeling and mental state words (e.g. think, feel, know, expect, etc.) to think about and manage what they are feeling (Bins et al., 2019).

When a child has a language delay, they are more likely to use challenging behaviours to express emotions, mainly because they have limited vocabulary to express how they are feeling. Children who are having difficulty with emotional regulation are often categorized as demonstrating:

• Internalizing behaviours: include acting fearful, sad, irritable, withdrawn or panicked. • Externalizing behaviours: include hyperactive, impulsive, disruptive and aggressive (Thurm, 2018).

Studies have shown that children with language delays often present with internalizing and externalizing problem behaviors (Chow & Wehby, 2018). Specifically, several studies have shown that:

• Children with specific language impairment are twice as likely to develop internalizing and externalizing related behaviours (Yew & O’Kearney, 2015). • Thurm and colleagues (2019) found that children with significant receptive and expressive language delays demonstrated a greater amount of internalizing and externalizing behaviours than children with less severe language delays.

The relationship between language and emotional regulation is bi-directional. For example, an emotionally overwhelmed child will likely have difficulty engaging and interacting which, in turn, limits opportunities for language learning. For children to be in the optimal state for learning, they need to be calm and alert, in order to respond and participate in the interaction (McGill & Boaden, 2018). However, if children are having difficulty managing their emotions, this may limit their ability to interact because they have a harder time remaining calm and alert enough to learn from the world around them. Research consistently highlights the important role that language learning plays in the acquisition and use of emotion regulation strategies, but the reverse is also true. Gains made in the child’s ability to engage in emotion regulation can make it easier for the child to learn language.

How can parents promote their child’s emotional regulation skills? When parents participate in parent-implemented language intervention to support their child’s language development, they are learning how to provide high quality responsive interactions. It is during these high quality responsive interactions that parents can also support their child’s emotional regulation development. By encouraging parents to engage in responsive interactions with their child, we are encouraging them to acknowledge and respond to the intent of their child’s messages, helping their child feel heard and understood. When children feel listened to, they are less

© Hanen Early Language Program, 2019. This article may not be further copied or reproduced without written permission from The Hanen Centre®. likely to use challenging behaviours to express emotions, allowing them to be more open to learning about and managing their emotions.

The following Hanen strategies help parents promote language learning by becoming more responsive in the interaction, but these strategies also support the development of emotional regulation in young children. The responsive interaction strategies include:

1. OWL and respond immediately with interest: • Observe her emotional expressions • Wait and give her space to express her emotions • Listen and empathize with her feelings: By listening, you are showing the child that you recognize and care about her emotions. This provides a feeling of acceptance and provides an atmosphere where she feels free to express a range of emotions. When children are encouraged to express emotions, they can build a greater understanding of emotions and how to regulate them.

2. Follow your child’s lead: • Interpret her emotional expression, by labelling the emotions she is expressing. For example, if a child is crying about separating from her mother for daycare, you could say “You are sad mommy is leaving.” By giving her the vocabulary for the emotions she is experiencing, you are helping to further build the understanding and potential for later expression of emotions.

Clinical Implications As a Hanen member offering parent implemented language intervention, whether in a group or with individual parents, you’re offering an intervention that supports a child’s language development as well as emotional development. Since we can support a child’s development in multiple ways through one intervention, we are potentially reducing the burden on families, as well as the cost for services. Most importantly, when challenging behaviours are reduced, parent-child interactions become more positive and enjoyable, which promotes greater opportunities for language learning and family well-being.

If you are interested in learning more about regulation, you can find additional information in the following resources: e-Seminar:

• Pathways to Promoting Self-Regulation in Young Children - An Introduction

Articles for Professionals:

• Pathways to Promoting Self-Regulation: What can SLPs do? • Sociodramatic Pretend Play: A vehicle to emotional self-regulation, language learning and school success • Supporting children’s self-regulation, the Hanen way!

Articles for Parents:

• Why Self-regulation is Important for Young Children • What is Behaviour Regulation? And What Does it Have to Do with Language Development?

© Hanen Early Language Program, 2019. This article may not be further copied or reproduced without written permission from The Hanen Centre®. References Binns, A. V., Hutchinson, L. R., Cardy, J. O. (2019). The speech-language pathologist’s role in supporting the development of self-regulation: A review and tutorial. Journal of Communication Disorders, 78, 1-17.

Chow, J. C. & Wehby, J. H. (2018). Associations between language and problem behaviour: a systematic review and correlational meta-analysis. Education Psychology Review, 30, 61-82.

Cole, P. M., Dennis, T. A., Smith-Simon, K. E., & Cohen, L. H. (2009). Preschoolers’ emotion regulation strategy understanding: Relations with emotion socialization and child self-regulation. Social Development, 18, 324-352. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9507.2008.00503x.

Houseman, D. K. (2017). The importance of emotional competence and self-regulation from birth: A case of the evidence based emotional cognitive social early learning approach. International Journal of Childcare and Education Policy. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s40723-01700038-6#citeas.

In K. D. Vohs & R. F. Baumeister (2016). (Eds.), Handbook of self-regulation: Research, theory, and applications (pp. 64-82). New York, NY, US: Guilford Press.

Koole, S. L. & Coenen, L. H. M. (2007). Implicit self and affect regulation: Effects of action orientation and subliminal self-priming in an affective priming task. Self and Identity, 6, 118-136.

McGill, F. & Boaden, D. (2018). Pathways to Promoting Self-Regulation in Young Children. Retrieved from http://www.hanen.org/MyHanen/Professional-Development/Online-Training/PPS/on-demand.aspx.

Shanker, S. (2013). Calm, Alert and Happy. Retrieved online from: http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/childcare/shanker.pdf.

Spinard, T. L., Stifter, C. A., Donelan-McCall, N., & Turner, L. (2004). Mothers’ regulation strategies in response to toddlers’ affect: Links to later emotion self-regulation. Social Development, 13, 40-55. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467- 9507.2004.00256.x

Thurm, A., Manwaring, S. S., Jimenez, C., Swineford, L., Farmer, C., Gallo, R., & Maeda, M. (2018). Socioemotional and behavioural problems in toddlers with language delay. Infant Mental Health Journal, 39(5), 569-580.

Weitzman, E. (2017). It Takes Two to Talk: A Practical Guide for Parents of Children with Language Delays, 5th ed. Toronto, Ontario: The Hanen Centre.

Yew, S. & O’Kearney, R. (2015). The role of early language difficulties in the trajectories of conduct problems across childhood. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 43(8), 1515-1527.

About The Hanen Centre

Founded in 1975, The Hanen Centre is a Canadian not-for-profit charitable organization with a global reach. Its mission is to provide parents, caregivers, early childhood educators and speech-language pathologists with the knowledge and training they need to help young children develop the best possible language, social and literacy skills. This includes children who have or are at risk for language delays, those with developmental challenges such as autism, and those who are developing typically.

For more information, please visit www.hanen.org.

The Hanen Centre is a Registered Charitable Organization (#11895 2357 RR0001)

© Hanen Early Language Program, 2019. This article may not be further copied or reproduced without written permission from The Hanen Centre®.