BORED ALK

Miss Peggy Failing-Winner Popular Freshman Coed Contest

NOVEMBER 1934 CRAWFORD BURTON, gentleman rider, twice win- ner of the Maryland Hunt Cup, dean of the. strenuous sport of steeplechase riding ... aCamel smoker. Everyone is subject to strain. Hence the importance to people in every walk of life of what Mr. Burton says below about Camels.

Copyright, 1934, R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company HAVE YOU TRIED THIS ENJOYABLE WAY OF HEIGHTENING ENERGY?

As this magazine goes to press, cessant smoker, not only be- reports pour in from all parts cause Camels give me a 'lift' but because they ALL TOBACCO of the country...showing that in energy, MEN KNOW: thousands of smokers are turn- taste so good! And never yet men- "Camels are made COLLEGE STUDENT. "When have Camels upset my nerves." tal fatigue sets in," says John ing to Camels...and that they from finer, MORE Birgel, "I just smoke another do "get a lift with a ." You have heard the expe- EXPENSIVE TOBAC- Camel and soon have the en- Here's a typical experience. rience of others. Science tells COS - Turkish and ergy to concentrate again." Domestic - than any Mr. Crawford Burton, the fa- us that Camel's "energizing other popular brand." mous American steeplechase effect" has been fully con- rider, is speaking: firmed. "Whether I'm tired from So try Camels yourself. You ,f{ riding a hard race or from the can smoke as many as you like. pressure and tension of a For Camels are made from crowded business day, I feel finer, MORE EXPENSIVE refreshed and restored just as TOBACCOS. They never soon as Iget a chance to smoke taste flat... never get on your Ic j a Camel. So I'm a pretty in- nerves. Camel's costlier Tobaccos REX BEACH, famous sportsman, says: "When I've gotten a big game fish landed I light a never get on your Nerves Camel, and feel as good as new." 3 ED WALK

U FROM U HERE and THERE fashions on and off the campus

by mary adeline Clouser

completely satin. Her shallow hat was of felt with a .re the wintry blasts take their similar flounce which went in back. black and white quill perched over one coeds are taking advantage of around the bottom and dragged pink and side. weather and are rivalling nature Two small bunches of French mn tints. flowers nestled in each of the " Madalyn Sheets, Pi Phi pledge, at- Mary Welch, Pi Phi, enhanced of tweeds, plaids and. flounces. tended "Ladies of the Jury" charmingly stiful blends her dark hair wearing crimson velvet. Her afternoon , mellow hen- arrayed in all black, also. the warm The sleeveless gown was very plain ex- with a split skirt and and russets dress was of moire eyed cept for the shirred back which ended rhinestone button trim. Roberta Mardis, nate. in ties at the front neckline that were Z. i. A., danced at the S. A. E. dance this ssories are more important ornamented by rhinestones. in black and . Jayne Foote, D. G. be- id the American woman is " Seen dancing to Charlie Agnew's in- pledge, goes coking in a black and gold more "accessory conscious" every triguing tunes in a lovely black and sil- crepe afternoon dress topped by a black trting at the top of the head, the ver dress was Joan Horton, Theta pledge. tricorn hat. At the Chicago game Portia ation is as important as a revolu- The dress was black crepe. The neck, Adams, A. O. Pi, wore a chautreuse here are high crowns, h i g h low back, and sleeves were trimmed in knit suit with a yellow sweater. and -off ones, peaked, pill-box silver pleating. In contrast was a bright Her hat and short coat were a yellow among the new variations. sash which tied carelessly and the . will be car- d shaking this season ends hung to the floor. Johnson was coking in the in gloves of varied colors and * Charlotte " Isabel Connolly, Pi Phi, dined on Commons in a brown wool trimmed with In addition to the usual browns Sunday in a black and gold taffeta dress. green buttons and a green velvet scarf. ks, there is a deep green, a new Her accessories were black and her " Eunice Toothaker, a dull , seal brown and jewelry was gold. Snuggled in a coat Sigma Kappa, was ux"-a new rich brownish wine of black pony and accented by white also coking in a very chic wool dress in iat is excellent with and lapin was Bernice Adley, Tri Delt. She the popular Carioca shade. It was fash- the shoul- L new, very delightful feature of wore a pert black velvet, piled up, tur- ioned with double epaulets on ter innovation is that the gioves ban decorated solely by a white ermine ders and trimmed with a white stiff wing ;s are being made to match. In tail. Betty Sudbury, Theta pledge, at- collar and small tuck-under cuffs. d, calf and suede vie for honors tended a Union dance in a tile crepe " Dancing at the Union building, newest bag creations. dress trimmed in accessories. Betty Robey, Alpha Chi, wore a lovely a the starting of the pledge dances Mary Ackerman, Kappa pledge, was Prussian blue dress topped by a silver beautiful gowns have been worn. electioneering in a green and brown beaded yoke. Betty Barber, Chi Omega, those were Maxcyne Piowaty, plaid velveteen. The blouse was made was lovely in a dark blue crepe with a amma, garbed very strikingly in on a plain yoke and gathered off. The metallic-mesh cowl, collar and belt. and white combination at the buttons ornamenting the front were of " Entering the library was Mary Ruth dance. Her outfit was a semi- carved brown wood. Whitely, A. O. pledge, clad in a chartreuse cocktail suit of black velvet with " Sauntering out toward the Gables green wool dress with matching cape e of white finely tucked velvet. was Jane Vesey, Delta Gamma pledge, in and trimmed with green, brown and ist length jacket was fastened by a dark green crepe trimmed in leopard white plaid taffeta collar and cuffs 'and-white tie-belt. Sarah Jewett, skin buttons. She wore a brown hat and fringed at the edges. With it she wore >ledge, also wore a lovely black brown swagger jacket. brown accessories. uite tunic ensemble. The long " Jane Malcolm, Kappa Alpha Theta, " Helen Link was seen attending id skirt were well fitted of black appeared very nicely tailored in a wool classes clad in a blue, red and white [he collars and cuffs were white plaid of black and red employing a white plaid high-collared wool dress trimmed pe. The only ornamentation was stiff wing collar and small black bow. with a blue velvet tie. Eloise Lewis, inestone buttons down the front Black accessories completed it. Wilma Kappa, also goes classward in green, grey e collar, and rhinestone cuff links. Lippert, Chi O., hurried about the and black striped knit. It is made in he S. A. E. dance was Jean But- campus in tile wool with black acces- two pieces, with full sleeves tucked in >ha Chi pledge, in a very plain sories and black pony jacket. Emphasiz- at the shoulders. She wears a silver tie 'elvet semi-formal. It was made ing the new demand for black, Wanda pin in the black crepe neck piece. high neck in front supported by Walter, d. g. pledge, appeared in all " Wildas Longcamp, Alpha Chi, goes irge flowers. black. Her dress was of fine black broad- "Quadward" dressed jauntily in a brown ence Woods, Kappa pledge, cloth with a double collar of corded wool suit trimmed with a raccoon collar the light fantastic to the rhythm and brightened by a red plaid silk scarf. Panico, dressed in a white crepe, Her hat was a brown trimmed sport. Her semi-formal suit, fashioned with accessories were brown. eves and a slightly flared skirt. " Pauline Sundsmo, Z. T. A., also goes Hohlt, Alpha Chi, wore one of "Quadward" in blue boucle knit with a shirtwaist dresses. Her skirt was draw string neck, that matches her ansparent velvet and the top was Pliades hat. crepe shot with silver, fashioned " We will guarantee that after "Frills ry full long sleeves and silver and Furbelows" has made its appearance, many new creations and fashion ideas lZ Croxton, Kappa pledge, lancing was a will be adopted by the fairer sex. The in a cream colored velvet fur coat season is drawing near and Pith drop shoulders of a shirred many new and beautiful furs are ex- It was form fitting excepting a pected on the campus. 4 NOVEMBER,

THE THE GIRL ON THE COVER Miss Peggy Failing, whose photo graph was selected as the most beau BORED tiful of the three winners of the Pop ular Freshman Coed contest by the NOVEMBER art staff of College Humor magazine WALK 1934 Peggy is a pledge of Pi Beta Phi. ShE hails from Indianapolis and was for Vol. V No. 2 merly a student at Shortridge. . Is an attractive brunette . . . with a thousand volt smile . . . and othe equally commendable characteristics DON HEROLD . .. Likes horses and is a riding en- Godfather thusiast. . . . Intends to major ir Fine Arts. . . . Hopes to become e designer of magazine covers. . SHANNON M. JOHNSON KATHERINE BERG Collects illustrations and drawings a Editor Graduate Mgr. a hobby. . . . Was a member of the cast of Frills and Furbelows. . Thinks Indiana is a grand spot. Board of Editors Is an ardent football and baseba' fan. . . . Especially interested in HUGH DILLON TOM MARTIN baseball. . . Says she isn't interest- Advertising Mgr. LOY BAXTER ing. . . . But seems to be extremely JOHN SEMBOWER TOM O'HAVER Circulation Mgr. so to quite a number of people, par- MARY ADELINE CLOUSER ticularly a well known baseball player. LEDFORD DAY HARVE STACKMAN Publicity Mgr. WILBUR PELL CHARLES SMITHBURN RUTH MERRIFIELD Asst. Circulation Mgr. Mother-Well, Jimmy, do you think your teacher you? STAFF Jimmy-I think so, mummy, because she marks a kiss on all my 'rithmetic. -Exch

JAMES PIATT EVELYN JOHNSON CHARLES RUNYAN ELIZABETH HILLIX EVELYN ROSS CONRAD DOROTHY HAMILTON IT CAME HELEN LIGHT BILL BROWNING Gambler (flipping coin in the air)-Call it! CHARLES FLOWERS AUSTEN ROBINSON R. I. FRIEDLINE MARGARET HORTON Stooge-Yoo, hoo! -Oh MARIANNE SQUIBB FRITZ PURNELL BERNICE ADLEY JOHN CAMPBELL ISOBEL CONNELLEY GORDON STRINGER Bellhop (making lady and gentleman comforta ALICE KUEHN HARRIETT LEE ENDRES "Anything else, Mr. Smith?" DICK MCGAW ANNETTE WALTERS Guest: "No thanks." Bellhop: "Anything for your wife?" Guest (absentmindedly): "Why, yes, bring me a I card." -Rammer Jar Copyright 1934 by the Bored Walk Publishing Co., Inc. Published eight times during the school year from October to May inclusive by students of Indiana University. "Entered as second class matter at Bloomington, Indiana, Father (to daughter coming in at 3 a. m.): "Good n under the act of March 3, 1879. Application for re-entry at Spencer, Ind., pending." ing, child of Satan." Office: Assembly Hall, Indiana University. Daughter (sweetly): "Good morning, father." Subscription rates one dollar the year. Single copies fifteen cents. ED WA LK 5 JOIN THE "GAG OF THE MONTH" CLUB AT THE END OF A WIN A FREE BOX OF LIFE SAVERS

in cn this prize contest and let your pet "grin PERFECT SMOKE catcher" win you more than just a laugh. "Ye eds" BORED WALK want to know who are really the the campus this year. i month a snappy cellophaned box of assorted LIFE RS (eleven different flavors, count 'em) will be ed for the best grin getter submitted by a student. t jokes will be judged by the editors of this publica- rheir decision will be regarded as final. Also the o publish any joke is reserved. 't waste that good joke on your roommate, send it tickle your sweet-tooth with your funny bone.

THIS MONTH'S WINNER: beth Hillix winning original joke: ik here, Waiter, I found a hair in the ice cream, a the honey, and a hair in the applesauce." 11,I can see how the hair got into the ice cream, homes from shaving the ice; and the hair in the When you lay down your cigarette, might come from the comb; but I don't see how pop a Life Saver on your tongue. could be hair in the applesauce, 'cause the boss buys Baldwins." These cooling rings of mint take away the burn and leave only the * . yearn . . . for another cigarette. sudent: Where do you stand in your school work? THRILL YOUR TASTE WITH SPEAR-O-MINT LIFE SAVERS...THEY'RE NEW ditto: Oh, a little below sea level.

e 0 o The boys all called her arrow collar because she was NOT SO INSANE around everyone's neck. On what grounds do you ask for a divorce? Insanity, your honor. I put crackers in his bed, te them. Is that all? Christopher Columbus: Listen, Queen, all I need to dis- 1o, your honor. After he had eaten the crackers, cover America is - - - d to know who stole his soup. Isabella: Now, Chris, let's not talk ship. -Carolina Buccaneer

" ".

SO HAVE I! FRED G. HITCHCOCK Coach (to player stretched out on ground): ARNOLD BERG a contortionist?" "No." "Well, then, you have a broken arm."

-Exchange

S - - Located

to bartender)-Hey, gimme a horse's neck. People's Insurance & Realty Co. Drunk--I'll have a horse's tail-no use killing Kresge Bldg. Phone 2754 -Froth 6 NOVEMBER, 1

JORDON GRILL Mrs. Williams Cooking - FLICK TIPS " Phone 5356 Money. of good shows be- GIB SA d-"'Come out to see me sometime" is to enjoy a feast F LOOMINGTONtween now and the holidays for some of the most im- B "Private Life of Don Juan" with Douglas Fairbanks, portant releases from Hollywood are scheduled to be Live Again" with Fredric March and Anna Sten, "G shown here in the very near future. The outstanding event Expectations," the Charles Dickens' story with a sple and; no doubt the most important one in the history of cast and which will be shown as a benefit for theatricals here, will be the appearance, on Thursday eve- A. A. U. W. alumni association. All of these pictures ning of this week, Nov. 15th, of the original "The Green booked for early showing at the Princess Theatre ex Pastures" company. Coming here by special train with sively. three coaches and three baggage cars required to trans- .O e and the mammoth stage port the personnel of 106 people AFTER MARRIAGE equipment, Bloomington will have the privilege of enjoy- Songs of deep love are played and sung, ing the stage treat of all time. The engagement here will Until the wedding bells are rung; not be a profitable one to the company even with the Har- Then comes a change in bride and groom. ris Grand completely sold and which it will be, but it Little troubles begin to loom. is the desire of the owners of "Green Pastures" to have Wifey and hubby start to see this wonderful stage production seen in every college town Love is not what it ought to be, of this country. For who can be thrilled and all of that, A wealth of splendid pictures are booked for the Prin- Changing diapers for a bawling brat. from now on to the Christ- cess Theatre to be shown -Les Whadcock mas holidays. It is the Princess theatre that has given us many fine shows already this season and the future book- Six two ings show that there is to be no let-up in the coming of Lotsa weight fine attractions. Today, the Princess is showing "Mrs. Pledge pin Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch" and it is a classic. Nothing Blind date. that has been seen here this year has been complimented so highly for its entertainment value. A timely booking Homer McSark Ph.d is scheduled for Friday and Saturday in "Gridiron Flash," Smoked a pipe of T. N. T. a college football story with fun that includes Eddie Quil- Then said Homer with a grin, lan in a role in which he steals the watch of the campus I'll never face my folks again. cop and the heart of the campus beauty. Next Sunday at the Princess will come "The Count of Monte Cristo" which played a week at the Apollo at Indianapolis and was then Bloomington Theatre Attractions brought back again for a second week. Following the en- PRINCESS TODAY UARDIt DRAMI gagement of "The Count of Monte Cristo," splendid shows I at the Princess will follow one another in rapid succession and these will include such outstanding releases from six of the major film companies of Hollywood as "Down to ,. their Last Yacht," "College Rhythm" with Joe Penner, Greatest theatrics "Peck's Bad Boy" with Jackie Cooper and Thomas Meig- event in Bloomingt< han, "Hell in the Heaven's" with Warner Baxter, "Music History. in the Air" with Gloria Swanson, "Captain Hates the Sea" roaring comedy with Victor McLaglen, "Marie Galante" with Spencer Tracy, "The White Parade" with John Boles FRIDAY & SATURDAY with W. C. Fields, "Kid and Loretta Young, "It's a Gift" He stole the watch of the campus Millions" with Eddie Cantor, "Limehouse Blues" with cop and heart of the campus queen George Raft, "Pursuit of Happiness" with Francis Lederer,

" Company of 106 The R.L. COOLER Co. EDDIE QUILLAN Original New York BETTY oURNESS Cast. far Including the CHOII FRATERNITY NOVELTIES STARTS SUNDAY HEAVENLY BOOK BINDING LEATHER GOODS Good seats availabl of quality .75-1.00-1.50-2.0( Bloomington, Indiana I SEASON'S FINEST SHOW IU 7 RED WALK i After class, after the game, the dance or the show - It's Always THE GABLES

for delicious fountain drinks & really good meals. Don't miss the GABLES Frolics

III, jim ~

Blonde baby. ude: "Gonna' bum home?" No study. Otto: "Naw, I'll get a lift with a Camel." Quizzes come. * *.* Face ruddy.

* * * certain ZTA pledge thought that a coed who was d "off in the upper-story" was sound asleep in the Englishman-"Waita!" nitory. Waiter-"Yas sah." Englishman-"What's this you just served?" Waiter-"That's bean soup." ae girls who "Wouldn't think of being kissed" are Englishman-"I don't care what it's bean-What is it illy those who don't think very often. now?"

Definition of a practical man- One who buys dandruff colored suits. Index of ADVERTISERS ... of a pacifist November Definition A man who won't even accept military brushes for a ;ouquet Shop ...... ------present. ;amel ...... ------2 ;hesterfield ...... ----- 17 dgeworth...... ------.25 ables---...... ------.... 72 Definition of a worm- arris Grand------...... 6 A caterpillar who played strip poker. . U. Bookstore.....-..------27 . U. Commons ...... ------. 22 * * * ohnson Creamery ...... -...... ------20 ordon Grill.-...... ------... . 6 "Pardon me-you look like Helen Black!" ife Savers-----...... ------. 5- "Don't I know it, but you should see me in white." AUcky Strike ...... ------... . . 28 'eoples Insurance & Realty Co...... 5 'rince Albert ...... ------...... 19 rincess ...... ------6 There was a young man from Sandusky, t. L. Cosler & Co...... -..------6 Who crooned in a voice soft and husky, tobbins - ...... ------. 21 Till ideas operatic Samuel R. Guard & Co...... ------...... 26 Made him fouler than static, sullivan's, Inc...... ------...... 23 Now he's shoveling coal for McClusky. varsity Beauty Shop ...... 22 Washington Hotel ...... ------...... 26 words fail BORED WALK ADVERTISING PAYS When BOUQUET SHOP Flowers Prevail 8 NOVEMBER,

NOVEMBER 20, 1497. Vasco da Gama rounds Cape of Good H 1934. Phi Delts find shorter route to university BY THE 21, 1915. Caruso's recording of vesti la giubba f Pagliacci is first heard. A LMA NACKE 1934. Recording of Annie's cousin Fannie hf from Phi Psi house. Next was November; he full grosse and fat 22, 1882. Queen Victoria reviews British troops f As fed with lard, and that right well might it seeme; Egypt. For he had been a fatting hogs of late 1934. Col. Standiford and Adley review R. O. ' That yet his browes with sweat did reek and steem. unit from I. U. -Spenser 23, 405. Ostrogoths invade Italy. November 1934. 3000 Indiana students leave for Purdue. 1, 1500. Benvenuto Cellini born. First Joe College. 24, 1915-17 World War. 2, 1755. Marie Antoinette born. Cellini born 255 years 1934. Purdue-Indiana game. too soon. 25, 1934. One month until Christmas. Hope t] 3, 55. Roman army crosses Tiber river on way to aren't as many headaches in a month. Rome. 26, 1934. Students start coming back from LaFay 1934. R. O. T. C. unit crosses Jordan river on way 27, 54. Claudis is poisoned by his w.fe Agrippir to Military ball. 1934. 600 fraternity men go on a strike against 4, 1934. Church attendance decreases 50 per cent. meals. 5, 1605. Gunpowder plot revealed in England. 28, 1917. 11 o'clock is zero hcur as soldiers prepare 1934. 5 boxes of firecrackers found in S. A. E. go over. dorm. 1934. 11 o'clock is zero hour as students prepaid 6, 1934. Dreams do come true. Holiday for election. go home. 7, 1934. 3000 students make preparations for week- 29, 626. Mohammed brings to an end a 3 month end. 1934. 3000 students really eat and give Tha 8, 1862. Bismarck assumes administration of Purssian but mainly eat. affairs. 30, Anytime-All good things come to an end, like 1934. Alpha Chi freshmen take charge of house. November and this Almanacke. 9, 45B.C. Antony meets Cleopatra. -Wilbur Pell. 1934. Phi Gain freshman has blind date with Theta pledge. 10, 30B.C. Death of Antony and Cleopatra. 1934. Phi Gam freshman puts pledge button on Theta pledge. 11, 1918. Armistice Day. 1934. Freshmen don't have to wear green caps. 12, 1933. Joe Bailey puts pin on Martha Day. 1934. Family doing nicely. 13, 1934. 3000 students wonder why they came to col- lege. Faculty also wonders. 14, 64. Great fire in Rome. Christians are perse- cuted. 1934. Fire drill in A T O dorm. Freshmen take a beating. 15, 1911. Lambda Chi Alpha founded. 16, 1717. Jean le Ronde d'Alembert, encyclopaedist, born. 1934. Freshmen have excuse to go to library as a result. 17, 69. Insurrection of Batavi under Claudius. 1934. Beta freshmen refuse to bend over. 18, 1248. Erection of cathedral of Cologne is begun. 1934. New blue prints drawn for Sigma Nu house. 19, 1600. Charles I born. He just couldn't keep his "Ho Hum, I'm sleepy. Guess I'll go to class early.' head. 9 ED WALK

BORED WALK

17o NOVEMBER, 1934 No. 2 Vo.1 V Knotholes in the walk

chapeau DLING in front of Assembly the )VEMBER, dear reader, is the GAIN we toss our building and other day, a complexity of air month between October and over the Union of sheer currents wafted and subjected the December. It is the month turn a cartwheel out of Owen hall, the flowers do not grow, when jubilance at the fact that there is odor of Attar and the de- s cease to sing, when the last still a scarcity of extreme socialists fragrance of Chemistry, the powerhouse leaves flutter down to the and communists in the student body lightful perfume of s and change to a nasty and faculty of I. U., which means smokestack to the delicate sensitivi- Dish . It is the month of to us that the average brain power ties of our apparently adequate rms, of Homecomings, of Pow is still at a fairly high level. Al- proboscis. Just than a member of of Thanksgiving; and the though we're tempted to go into cur in which one awakens from favorite subject at great length, we nad fantasy of the hither- realize it's hardly the type of tcpic -I- , r fluttering of the first few for this page. But just to get it off of the college year. And-it the chest we'd like to bet that the '\ -' ns, surprising as it may seem average I. Q. of communists is only e the month in which the No- about three times lower than the t-. er issue of Bored Walk is pub- average I. Q. of sane people (includ- ing professors on both sides) ...... And we'll bet three lollypops and EAKING of Homecoming, it a toy balloon our uncle can lick :curs to us that there were a your uncle, too. >odly number of freshmen the Ping-Pong team, one obviously :ame to the conclusion during E WERE sitting there under unimpressed by some of the better week end that the time cal- a half-tent of three ply can- magazine ads, walked by. And like I line "You've made your bed; vas; wearing two suits of a flash we realized why the wooded ie in it" might well be changed rubberized underwear, a fireman's center of the campus has never been you've made your bed; now lie helmet, hip boots, a trench coat, two inhabited by a skunk. After all, even e floor."-And we might add, slickers, a macintosh. A ten foot a skunk, we suppose, has some pride. 3 twitch of a twisted vertebra, square of oilcloth served as a lap :oesn't entirely apply to the In each hand we held a pair of robe. ND then there were the two wings. In the left pocket of water somewhat befuzzed home- trench coat was a collapsible life our comers, who, upon seeking boat...... We were attending an information as to the whereabouts of I. U. home football game. one of the better local taverns, were directed to Westminster Inn. Some- ''iTMAP1E;LK ; HIS is the season that causes how the idea of blowing into the T the campus yokels to lose inter- Inn and calling for a couple of steins est in coed sports on Dunn strikes us a being giggle material. Meadow and buy Paris Model ...... We understand that the Inn magazines instead. doesn't have its license yet. 10 NOVEMBER, 1

cylinders needed grinding, that we the local poultry shop, postma had a short in the ignition system or retired farmer. and a few other things. But most She came to COLLEGE. of all, according to the pill distribu- She became one of the b tor, we needed a lot of sleep. Being girls. strong supporters of the "Health- She learned to smoke in no 1 Comes-First Club," we immediately at all. became Morpheus' favorite son and She learned the difference stretched the usual 4 or 5 hours of tween a pink lady and a Manhal nightly snore to about 8. With the She read Night in a Moc Harem. HE bicycling fad of the past few immediate result that instead of be- And anything else of a sin weeks has had a number of ing our old wide-awake self in Sey- nature that she could get her h< amusing aspects for us. We got a classes, we've become a Sleepy today in our 10 o'clock on. whale of a kick out of seeing a mour. Only just She learned a few other thi couple of plumpish coeds doing a we attained semi-consciousness She developed a blase, world tandem duet. We got quite a bang in time to catch the professor subtly wise manner that would make ( out of seeing one of the lads turn a bo look like Maud Muller (o corner on his ear. And then-we particularly hot summer's day). broke down and threw in the nec- She was as shallow as a ran essary two bits-just to be one of spread evenly over the fieldh the kiddies-our pant leg became floor. undetachably a t t a c h e d to the She had no more sense of va sprocket . . . Zoom . . . over the than a half-witted tumble bug. handlebars. And the big bang! We're She wouldn't be able to recog still nursing a skinned shin, we've in this as a description of herself. joined the Anti-Bike Society, and crack, "As far as a certain person it's either And so, she made one hell we wish some kind soul would take the back row's concerned, just good coed. up a collection to pay for replacing wake up or smoke up." And we would keep us out a pair of trousers irrepairably split knew something in the danger zone. of Phi Bete again this semester. ER name wouldn't really mat- FEW days ago we took a ter. headache, a bad appetite and She was awfully cute. a set of troubled tonsils to She came from a little village that the favorite doc. The medic was couldn't be seen if passed through good enough to inform us that our at a swifter rate than 15 per. differential needed greasing, o u r Her old man was the manager of * * *

A GORGEOUS CREATURE McPherson's condition was critical and his wife, F soul, was much anguished at having to leave him to g She is 'indeed a gorgeous creature, the neighbors to call a doctor. As she looked dowr Those legs of hers are quite a feature. his shrunken form, her hard face softened and tears spi Pretty, I might even add, and strong, over her cheeks. Pulling herself together with an efl Although her neck is a trifle long. she put on her old bonnet, dabbed at her eyes with In all, she has a very nice form. back of her hand and went over to say goodbye to She probably takes them all by storm. husband. "Now remember Angus, no extravagance. A'top her there could be no remorse. yer feel yerself going, blow out the light." Yes Sir! my friend, I will buy the horse.

-Les Whadcock " "*"

* * * Lady animal trainer (when told to go on with her a Many a coed is blamed for making a fool of a man, Pleathe, thir, I can't find my panther. when he is really self-made. Manager: Never mind your clothes, get on' with the gED WALK 11

FOILED AGAIN

'HEIR heads were very close together as they sat g there, conversing in muted tones, the girl leaning back against the cushions' of the car. The man, who I just picked her up a short time before, was evidently ing to overcome her resistance. He had driven to the t the moment she had entered the car, confident of his ver. 'here was no denying the fascination the man had for . As he bent tenderly over her, his lips just brushing hair, and poured out his impassioned plea, she felt self weakening, in spite of the fact that she knew that father would disinherit her if he found out. But Mary," he was saying, his handsome features aglow h anticipation, "what does it matter? No one will

I-I can't," she faltered, biting her lip to repress her Dion. "Father-grandfater-the family pride-no, I just

Don't be a fool," he cried impatiently. "After all i're of age now. A woman should be able to make her n decisions." He drew closer. "And you would like to ke me happy, wouldn't you?" That's enough, Tom!" she cried. "Let me out of here instant!" She raised her hand as if to strike. You wouldn't scratch, would you," he inquired Hell no!" she snapped back, getting out of the car and ng a sample ballot from a man standing outside ihe. Is, "I'm voting the straight Democrat ticket just like nd-pa, even if you are a candidate." -Hugh Dillin "Pardon me, Joe, But may I use the phone?"

NERTS!

People are so crazy -s I surely can't be wrong, At least those pompous papas are, ;;; Who fatly play ping-pong.

People are so crazy I'm sure you'd think so too, ' .;If you saw a prissy prim _- Gobbling egg-yong-foo.

People are so crazy They are that no end, , Even your best friend never tells If you by chance offend.

= _People are so crazy Oh, I am sure that's true. "Step on it, boys, it's the nudist colony again." You really must believe me, 'Cause I'm a people too.

______-ERH 12 N OVEMBER, 19

:: II' - ,/ . , , .:.. J,,.,.

' BORINGS ... i

EVEN the chill autumn wind and the rustle of blue (pifi) Tindall, who coyly informed Dean Wells, after books in the air can't stop biology, so here we are with latter had been discussing Martinelli, that she had another pile of personality piffle...... The scouts known "that Morton Downey played here." ...... rise in unison to scream the news that Bob (columnist's of the slicker new couples on the campus is the joy) Keck has culminated the courtship of Clouser by dealtt frosh) Stewart and Ann (aopi blonde venus) Bat pinning the blonde with Everett (brother) Morton's pin. combination.. ... Loy (sigpi pride and joy) Bay Last year's pinnee, Palmer, is out a man, Clouser is out was seen with the Swaim girl again last week.... . in front, and Morton, the victim of it all, is out of his Now is the time of year that Robert Rhine-pot sees mind trying to decide ,whether to claim the pin or the last blanket hooked by a paddle-wielder, and wishes girl...... To illustrate the complexity of it all, con- had gone to Alabama.. ... And now that Berg sider the happenings out at the Beta house the other night, (tridelt) Purcell and Paul (d. u.) Culp have decidec following the pinning of Thelma (a'faki prex) Hohlt by form a closed corporation, both are wondering when John (the spectator) Sembower. The brothers first sang D. U.'s are going to hold fall initiation...... Marge the ZTA song to Sembower, for obvious reasons, and then (zeta) Houghland is said to be causing sig alph Re the alfaki ditty to Chuck (prexy) Schaab, who had been Black to add blue to his makeup...... Seen coh dating Thelma prior to the entrance of Sembower. But in the Commons-Florence (kappa) Woods and Wes (i the climax came when the cunning, cunning rhines pre- 'lil Buzzy) Busbee. Oh, by the by, Florence would h sented Sch"aab with a paper sack and retired; you know- it noised about to her public that she is a junior in sch left him holding the bag...... The dope is that Jean and not one of those horrid freshmen, my dear.... . (kappa) McGriff will be wearing Orville (fisi, little Bob (sae) Cook was seen leaving the Pifi house and C brother) Fox's pin out just as soon as she finishes up the nolly on the night of the Beta pledge dance...... list of dates she has already made...... Larry (delt) you by chance one of those venturesome devils who Verplank, after a season of strenuous pitching, has suc- been patronizing the local steeple-clipper and his airpl . ceeded in winning first place in the 1ife of theta Horton, or did you go down to Nick's to get looped? . displacing a phidelt squire of years' standing.. ... Another of Cupid's casualties to occur since our las Joe (signu, Butler transfer) Macy had been having a bit the Al (sae Milner-Dorothy (deegee) Leigh pinn. of civil strife with the Naptown Alfaki, who now wears . Clouds of cigar smoke have been billow his five-armed star. Imagine his embarrassment when he steadily from the Sigpi house lately as a result of no had to phone her the other eve and tell her not to wheel than four of the brethren planting the old enamel. I down for the week-end because he had sprained his ankle (a. o. pi, mortar board) Greenawalt and Kate (for when the frosh tubbed him for cigars...... Speaking of d. g.) Harris were the only local lasses involved in capital city dolls, Larry (sig) Willson did a hasty exit wholesale wave of sentimentality...... And our s5 through the rear portals of the block-house to avoid one, pathy to Ruth (tridelt) Barr, who had a perfectly w yowsah. But later she captured him at the Commons, thus nerful time Wednesday nite dating it with Ralph ( proving that crime does not pay, or wall you have a cauli- Zoercher, only to read in a nasty colm that the fel had flower? ...... Pifi Pettinger's phisi pin (piffle, Philbert, pin out on one of those home town girls...... Hor phawt a pile of P's) doesn't seem to keep her from having Hangover was noted at the Armory on last Tuesday ni other dates. But, of course, when the captain of the foot- supporting a somewhat wobbly town girl. When ball team beckons ...... Bob Porter celebrated last couple slid down the banister, Horace was still hc his pinning of theta DeSchipper by putting out two-for-a- ing the bac...... A kappasig rhine was so spell-boy nickel cigars at the tenth street hotel. Incidentally, gob by Mary (kappa) Biggs at one of those kaygee help-t has not yet broken the news to the inevitable home town poor-freshmen tea dances that he immediately retori girl. . ... The look-of-the-month goes to Margaret an oil portrait of one of the ex's...... Listerine W ALK 13

there boost with the news that Roggie (signu) Ehrhart Herold and the ghost of the mimicked Moenkhaus- -. been coke-dating Mary Estell Compton with the money ...... Betty (pifi) King and Ronny (thetaki) Friedline has saved by using his brothers' Pepsodent...... have been hand-in handing it since the first of school." use fail to suit: (1.) Midterms. (2.) Drunks at football ...... Another perpetual team is that of Gordon (deltaki) ies who start performing just as the team gets in scor- Parks and Lucille (phiopi) Boyer...... And the prize position. (3.) Kappasig Strong's continued use of the for the whirlwind courtship of the year goes to Don r tie...... John (figam chief) Grimsley is yet telling (lambdaki) Miller, who made himself eligible for the pass- how, while at the Blackhawk after thie Chi game, out-cigars-or-get-tubbed club after a Sunday to Friday nine Grey (Kay Kaiser soloist), descended from the acquaintanceship with Mary (chi-o) Sharp...... South ;e and sang to him...... If all the old grads who Bend develops some pretty fine gents in the estimation of spiffed at the Homecoming Game had been laid end Elizabeth (zta) Hillix. Crabb and Rasmussen, for example. end they would have felt better...... The ultimate ...... Rachel (deegee) Shull is fast getting to be the fisi romance is rumored to have been reached by Ray sweetheart, George Adams, Jim Meier, and Jack Sanders idelt) Rogers, who is so Matthews-minded that he de- all referring to her as "our girl." Brigham Young had a rds the singing of at least one Kappa song at each word for it...... And now that hot and ear d, including breakfast...... Marjorie Lee (kappa) muff time is here again, we presume that these 'ere muffs :en has changed Burl (delt Adonis) Hefflin's mind who have been bicycling hither and thither will take up ut the superiority of the home town flame. Thank skiing down the uni steps...... Although Bill (beta) rd there's one of those Anonymous Alices who won't Scott has his pin on a Smith College girl, his ardor for taking pins off the campus...... Health note: Mary Lib (theta pledge) Dugger doesn't seem to be damp- 1 (sig) Kemmer is Stillwell, tenk youse...... Mary ened. Great Scott!...... Stan (figam) Atkinson, of Le (deegee pledge, innocence abroad) Irwin has Bulldog, Bender, and Dodo fame, now has a new nose. iced an interest in Bored Walk contributor Carl Mop- Its thin, archlike countours are a revelation to at least fifty n, and would like to meet him. We'll see if it can't be frenzied females...... Ettie (ato, football) Antonini is nged, Janey, old dear, and perhaps we can have staff again spending his evenings with Eleanor (chi-O) Dodson. nber McTwiff on hand, also...... Ray (honey boy, ...... One by one the Purcells go by. I Haskell was bounced out of an upper in the Sig " ® . m the other nite. The lads just luffed and luffed, be- "Where've you been?" se they knew he'd have a black eye...... On "At the electrocution." aunt of something or other, Bernice (tridelt) Adley "How was it?" surprised at the tea dance with Dick (sae) Johnson "Shocking." n the fisi from Purdue strolled in ready for the tridelt " " " stle. Poignant, these little affairs, ...... n'est-ce pas? "Did he make a fraternity?" Stuprich put up a good fight for the hand of kappa "Yes, for every thing but the house charter." mas, but, as usually happens toward the first of the 1th, along came a Bill. Thereon hangs a Long tale. ... The advent of Jack Frost and company has not n welcomed by the two Mississippi frosh at the Sigpi se. One of the rhines, Luke Lucas, has been wearing first overcoat to bed, while the other, Malcomb Hicks, > has the pleasant task of feeding the fraternity boiler, applied himself with such vim that the eggs in the .igerator have been hatching...... Bouquets and 1 to the anonymous Laws who hurled themselves on ground to block the charge of the Meds, intent on ob- ing Sirois' wig...... Woody (lambdaki) Hill has ast regained possession of the jewelry from last year's and only, Hazel (pifi) Dikeman...... Don (du, 1 Veller's rendition of the "Three Little Rabbits" to -o Brindley is said to be simply too cunnin' for words. . . Kenny Hill has been keeping the lovers' bench m at the Alfaki house, Soph Treasurer Stinson being attraction. Stinson, however, was seen at the Delt ce in the company of Ray (quarterback, skull and cent) Fox, who also made a Homecoming Week date. haps it's just the bench for Hill...... Cordelia (zta) iton, has joined Bus Purcell's Along I U Paths staff "What'll we use this time, Joe? ... Hemstitch?" woman's editor. Now if he could only sign up Don 14 NOVEMBER, 1 WE PULL OUT A SPLINTER |IIII AN ESSAY ON THE cTWIFF, who is not only an explorer, scientist, thor, et cetera and et ditto, is also a play-wrig] CORSET MENACE incomparable skill. Among his most famous works Written By Romeo and Juliet, Lady Windermere's Fan, Ben Hur, Nights in a Bar Room and the Motor Boat Boys in PROF. LOY McTWIFF BAXTER Sahara. Last night after funneling down a snifte (While under the influence of a straight jacket Panther Sweat on top of a bowl of Ancient Tripe, he and a padded cell) a cerebral vibration which resulted in his writing a while he was hanging by his heels from a study 1 / / cSMURK," I said one morning to my worthy col- The title of this stupendous work is "From Pick-Pc to Secretary-Treasurer" ts league as I took down my favorite bolo knife from or "Foul Play in the Henho a stirring drama in four the wall and began hacking huge pieces of muscle from milk-curdling episodes. Scene: A fraternity his arm, "What are those 25 trucks doing in front of our house chapter room. People mansion?" dance committee. "Why those," replied McSmurk pinning me to the wall Episode 1. with three zulu war spears, "are special means of bringing Chairman: Six is your fan mail from your huge host of admirers." J'p, :point,/' Pay me or / ir' -. turn. Just then 25 government employees rushed in amid a // cloud of telegrams, and said that they were putting in /6 ! First member: If air lines, telegraph, cablegram, steam lines and the boys ; > :y .- ; keeps up, you'] bicycle patrol directly to my door for the purpose of rush- able to pay a ing to me from all parts of the world and Bloomington house bill. the messages of thousands, aye, even hundreds of ap- Second parasite: ( preciative persons who find that something in the column. ~ tlemen, why are "McTwiff," said one of these gentlemen, "A man that ,, here? has done what you have done deserves a just reward. '"" Third moron: Hai Give it to him boys." Thus saying they emptied the con- you heard? We're the dance committee. tents of their automatics into my heaving abdomen. And Fourth chiseler: Oh, you mean that it's our turn to n left. a little cash. "Don't you feel a bit bored?" asked McSmurk, who Chairman: Exactly. Now it's up to us to plan a d has been given several degrees including Fahrenheit, which will be unequalled on the campus, and Centigrade and the Third degree. through careful deliberation can this be attained. "Such Prattle," I said as I picked up all of my letters- about the dance- both of them. Hacking open the first letter with a small First lug: Yes, about the dance- fire ax, I found this note: Second lug: Yes, we'll have a dance. Dear McTwiff: Chairman: Now about the orchestra- . Your column "We First lug: Yes, about the orchestra- Second lug: Yes, we'll have OH ;EC/ TE Pull Out a Splinter" is an orchestra. Pto',cO fu.r marvelous, c o lo s s a 1, Chairman: About the programs HAVr -O irlN ,stupendous and incom- First lug: Yes, about the programs Tfus To- parable. In fact, it is Second lug: Yes, we'll have programs. aeRRW quite putrid. A f t e r (Curtain) reading your stuff, I (Three mighty huzzahs and a tiger from McTwiff shot my wife with a knife and strangled two T HE guy who is continually running off at the face al of my children, little the heigh-ho life of the much-talked-of collegiate shy Wattlesputtle, aged 3, be bopped on the noggin with a small anvil, say, size and Asthma, aged 2. I To hear this misplaced mass of humanity bellow, w o ul d have finished would gather that college life consists of a fur coy them all today but the quart flask, and four coeds who would make Jean Ha telephone rang. Tomorrow I will finish up. There was a look like a gob of hot glue. time when I wondered whether you were balmy; now, Alongside of the average college town a ceme there's no question. would take on the appearance of the Cotton Club. Signed- most exciting thing the social successes of the can Rockmush McSnarph. can do is to kick over ash cans or drop underwear but 15 y the tin cups of blind men. "But," pipes up the tley herd, in rasping gurgles, "What about the coed?" ell," we smirk back, "What about the coeds?" low that the coeds have thrust their presence into the we come to the great dilemma, what to do on a date. ire is a problem that will fleck your raven locks with wy patches and cause you to take on the appearance a tired octopus. Of course, you can always hook up h a pulse quickener and try to pick a route which will ,p you away from Nell's Deluxe Tea Room and Ye anky Soda Shoppe, for if you lower the body into one these dives, it means that you either hock your top t or rub down platters in payment for the hash which bim has pushed down her esophagus to the tune of gut one samoleon. (Three cheers for the Rover boys.) >y some chance you are able to blind-fold the Passion wer, and are able to slip by these aforementioned is of kickinity, you can barge into Klaude's Kollege Kokery where you can drop the quivering carcass into a "I'm taking Maizie, Garbo or no Garbo!" stable-like affair which would make a stone slab feel like - " Aunt McSnoop's best feather bed. All that one has to do to start the fire-works is to men- Psych. Prof.: What is the most wonderful thing in the tion Lizzie McTwitch, I Psi world? If the desired Pride and joy. Stude: The most wonderful thing in the world, profes- effect is obtained, one will get sor, is . self clonked over the bucket with a coke glass. (Oh, v cut she do such a thing.) Prof.: No. The most wonderful thing in the world is

E you do not care for this hilarious form of entertain- sleep. nt, you always have two other evils from which to Stude: Yes, sir, next to Mae West. pose. One may take the Frau to a two-bit Flick and en to some ion-brained nilwit chomp on a jitney sack peanuts, while on the screen, Lizzie Love and Harry artbreak put on a far from tepid smutzle scene. a case this pastime does not come up to the old stand- '/l , the only thing for you to do is to go to a shuffle I i swish to the captivating music of Snark's Syncopating enaders or Mac's Melody Murderers to the whistle of and a half iron men per ducat. After the drop-and- g-it is no longer in progress, there aren't enough kels in your jeans to buy a free ticket. Oh, for the care-free life of a collitch!" 'o this we award the well-known gesture and say, [JTS!i"

!ditor's Note: Funny what a little dementia praecox do to a guy, isn't it?

" " " -4 dttle Joe College come get on the books, 'he semester's about over, your dad's in the hooks, "Yeah, I'm using it to crack." Ih where's the young man whose judgment's so sound? [e's out in his roadster, a'hellin' around. 16 NOVEMBER, 1 NOT OF THE COMMON HERD

Henry Snyder

Verlin Stephens Robert Cook

A director of amateur musi- made Phi. Eta Sigma and E cal shows of professional qual- Ul Ul Key. He was chairman of ity, a polished actor, and a 1933 Junior Prom, and the S friend who will tear hair from ior Invitation Committee, his own beard to complete the is now settling into the gr make-up of a fellow-actor are Wendel for an L. L. B. Another Blo one: VERLIN K. STEPHENS, Walker ingtonian, and a Sigma Chi. director of the University Thea- LEWIS WENDEL WALK ter for 1934-35. He directed started his career at Indi "Good News" last year, and University by winning his fre will have charge of the 1935 man numerals in Football, E musical production. Along with dent of Sigma Delta Chi, Jour- ketball, and Track - the lIa Helen Fulk as leading lady, he nalism honorary for men, a as a shot-putter. Last year turned out a performance in member of Dragon's Head, and passing ability netted hirr "Ladies of the Jury," first Uni- Sphinx club. He was Junior football monogram, and his versity Theatre play of the sea- president of the class of 1935, tance shots a varsity basket son, which critics rated as and led the 1934 Junior Prom. berth. This fall his scholars "truly professional in quality." As conductor of "Along I. U. one of the highest standings STEPHENS is a member of Paths" last year, he organized a the Physical Education dep Theta Alpha Phi, dramatic hon- pledge-ridden espionage system ment, won him the Sphinx C orary, and appeared in "The never before equalled. A mem- scholarship. When WEN[ First Mrs. Frasier," "Twelfth ber of Sigma Alpha Epsilon. WALKER jogs onto the fc Night," "Behold This Dream- When a pre-Law makes Phi ball field, few except er," and "Mrs. Bumsted-Leigh." Beta Kappa, becomes president referees know what position A Delta Upsilon from Marion. of Sphinx club, a campus po- is playing, for under Bo McN ROBERT A. COOK, editor- litical boss, and wins two mono- Ian's system he calls quari in-chief of the Daily Student for grams in golf, where stand the back signals from the full-be the first part of the first se- critics of a socialized educa- position, and carries the ball mester, is a Bloomington boy tion? WILLIAM HENRY SNY- what ordinarily would be h who made good. He is presi- DER is the man and he also back plays. tm no dirt farmer but I was brought up on a tobacco farm and I know mild ripe tobacc

have es. .1

Down where tobacco is grown folks say .. . "'It's no wonder that so many people smoke Chesterfield cigarettes. "To begin with they buy mild ripe tobacco ... and then they age it. "It costs a lot of money .. but it's the one way to make a milder, bet- ter-tasting cigarette."

, Co.

JiGGETT & MYERS TOBACCO Co. 18 NOV EM BE R, 19, * FOOTBALL AS A PROFESSION

An Interview with CHARLES "Chuck" BENNETT by John Sembower

I T won't be many months now before spring will arrive, if quiring a college education, or advancement in the bus winter comes in the meantime, and along with spring ness or social world. Although not classed as a profe will come another Commencement and its contingent evils. sional, to my notion, he is as guilty of professionalism One of the rank evils of this ominous time of year will be the fellow who receives his livelihood directly from at) the flock of articles in all sorts of publications from the letics. Sunday School newspaper to the national weekly on the For many years now men and women have been pa theme of "choose a career." openly for their skill and ability in different branches Some great industrialist will outline the advantage of athletics. Fortunes have been made by many athletes ai going into production supervision, or some other high hundreds more have made enough money to lave modes sounding term. Newspapermen will cuss and discuss their ly and independently throughout their whole life. profession, the lawyers and doctors will laud their chosen I do not see why any fair-minded person can condemn lines of work and bring in the inevitable warning of hard man for participating in professional sports. He is earnir effort, and a dozen other vocations and professions will be an honest living; he is doing something that he can do w< covered. and at the same time he is giving some one recreation ai Some occupations are never covered, however. Among pleasure just as the paid musician does. the ditch-diggers, the street sweepers and the these are Professional sports offer to the exceptional athlete jt professional a t h 1e t e s. By out of college a chance to cash in on the publicity ar spring, however, the latter may fame which have bef be farther up the line if pres- accorded him while ent trends continue. It was -/; school. This appli with this in mind that the %/ / more to football th Bored Walk contacted that old 4'any other sport b warhorseof the Indiana grid- cause of the immen ron, Charles "Chuck" Bennett, amount of publici at his gridiron stronghold in given to college foc the LaPorte high school. ball stars. Outstan With Chuck's co-operation ing examples of m we are able to scoop the na- who were highly pu tion on the 1935 analyses of licized in college a] prospective professions. Chuck ~~~~~accepted- is a good person to discuss the topic with. He knows it offersro-fob to plmdr modern pro - foot~ from all sides, both as an amateur and as a professional, are "Red" Grange, "Benny" Friedman, "Ernie" Never as well as from the viewpoint of the coach and player. "Ken" Strong, Harry Newman, Joe Zeller, "Red" Cag He doesn't mince any words. He thinks that boys just "Father" Lumpkin, "Herb" Joesting, and many, mar out of college have a perfect right to go professional with- others. out any blame being cast upon them, and he goes to the Are these boys to be blamed for turning professiona classics for his authority. Here are Chuck's own words: I think not. They have a chance to earn as much in 0] Athletes since very ancient times have been admired in three or four years in the ordina and honored, and if we accept the true meaning of an year as they could jobs offered college graduates. amateur athlete (one who plays for the love of the game itself), some of these heroes of old were as gu lty of pro- By accepting a professional offer he has an opportune fessionalism as are almost all of our present day athl etes. to repay loans, start a bank account, and altogether estal A sweeping statement perhaps, but there is no doubt lish himself on a sound financial basis. that the athletes of old had ulterior motives in participat- If the athlete retains his popularity, physical fitness, ar ing in the ancient type of athletics. Granted, perhaps, they invests wisely, it is possible for him to become financial might not have expected monetary payment for their abil- independent. Too often, however, after a few years, I ity but they used this same ability to gain respect and no loses his skill and a new star comes along, takes his pla doubt advancement in military and civic affairs. A read- and he becomes (truly) a forgotten man. ing of a history of the Old Olympic games will reveal how If a person should investigate the financial affairs handsomely the winners were rewarded after returning many of our professional stars today, he would f nd th to native cities and villages. All this is auite comparable they are investing their money and trying to buy a bus to the athlete who is using his ability to assist him in ac- (Continued on page 22) 19

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&AN LANGAG IN ANNY LANGUAGE , A COOL, MELLOW SMOKE MEANS -- PRINCE ALBERT * MMM~

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LL AFTER EVERY CLASS IT RINGS THE BELL!

PIPE SMOKERS! Here is a fact to bear in mind about Prince Albert. Prince Albert is blended by a special process which removes every hint of "bite" or harshness from the tobaccos. So try this mild, mellow tobacco. Discover for yourself why Prince Albert is known among men everywhere as "The National Joy Smoke." INEE ALBERT 20 NOVEMBER, 1

--.-

Energy.... 911 E Watch the fords go by. Drink Bottled COUNSEL

If, along your college way, You find locks that entice You, and you think of falling, Lad Remember this advice: Do you sometimes suffer from fag? Drink a Blue eyed blonds are fine as silk glass of Johnson's Pasteurized Milk. Taste its For men to call their own; delicious flavor and see how quickly you feel But vanity may turn their heads. like yourself again...... fit and fresh and Lad, leave the blonds alone! clear. Soft brunettes may rule your heart That's because it's a perfect blend of vitamins, With smiles and soulful pleas; minerals and proteins...... natural energy- building, life-giving substances. Yet once aroused they're terrors, Lad. You'd best beware of these. And, remember, too - pasteurization is only one of the many precautions that Johnson's Girls with tresses hued take for the protection of your health. In- Inspire when on the level, spected cows and milkers, sterilized containers, But guile may bind their foolish hearts. laboratory examinations of all milk, a steam- Lad, shun them like the devil. scoured plant...... all these assure you of Auburn, fair and dark alike safety, freshness, superior flavor. Scheme to make you fall; Listen to my words of wisdom, Lad. Avoid them all ! ! -Charles Flowe

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The fundamental trouble with a college education is even a math major can't pay $32.62 worth of debts $9.08.

A quiet young man from Racine, Pasteurization is just as important to Shunned women and drink to extreme, the other dairy prod- nets as to the milk Then he came to college you drink. Demand Johnson's Pasteurized In search of some Ice Cream and all knowledge, other foods that come Now to see him from milk and cream raise hell is a scream. . .then you KNOW you are safe. " " " Cowboy: How's the ranch? Dude Rancher: Bully. 21 )RED WALK I BAND NOTES /

°1 .. by "PEP" CALVERT

)IANA UNIVERSITY, after suffering the throes of a dance Chooses Shoes from Robbins season, when "big time" band leaders ad depression last "I think they're the best looking shoes I've ever cited the campus and made off with most of the available of icians, seems to be making a comeback in the business worn, and I've had loads of compliments on them." of those ter music" for the campus eds and coeds. Many Betty Ann Brown were ibers of the A. F. of M., who at this time last year eling about the wide open spaces playing one nghters, are r in school this year. Out on the road they found out that That's the way most college girls feel about our ana university was the farm for "big time" bands, but it shoes . . . the college crowd like "lots of style," long for any of them to convince you that they are 't take know they can always get it at I to be back on the "farm." Chief among the bands with a and they vy roster of "formerly withs" is the band playing at the versity Commons under the able direction of Jimmy Cath- "Monk" a former member of Otstot's band, and more recently with A decidedly smart shoe Sanders and his Kansas City Night Hawks. Jim, a Kappa very moderately priced. 4 i ,' pledge, returned to school this fall bringing four members ISham ganders' band with him, all of whom formerly attended school $4.00 e. Other bands represented in the outfit include men from k Crawford, Carelton Coon, jr., and Slim LaMarr. From the er band also comes Helen Marie Fulk, Tess'e to you, who is featured vocalist. This band has met with outstanding suc- in its two months as an organization and has broken all >rds at the Commons for Sunday night audiences. The band >eing run along the same line employed by Casa Loma, in tit is run on a co-operative bass. NOTHER familiar face returning to school this year, and L a leader who was also with Sanders, is Amos Otstot. Ot- stot's band consists of seven members, all of whom are mak- The young girl came in to kiss her mother good night. their first appearance on the campus. Ray Williams and his As this function was being performed, the mother agitated legions, who held sway at the Costas' Nook last year, are again n Garbering" their way along this semester. Another band to her nose in rabbit-like fashion. Then she asked, "Have you ke its appearance in the last week is a band led by Al been drinking?" -sons, a musician from Jimmy Cathcart's home town of Michi- "No." City. This band made its first appearance at a recent un- anized dance. "Your breath smells of liquor." BAND WAGON "Oh, that's because I just kissed Dad good night." ESS FULK, featured with Cathcart's co-ops, has finally made doesn't drink." up her mind to open her own school on how to be a girl "What do you mean? Your father singer. Recently Miss Fulk has had no less than three people "But the ice man does, and he spends a lot of time with toting her at the Gables Frolics and Tessie thinks it would the French maid." -Skipper a great idea to open up a school on how to imitate her and n present them all at the Frolics...... Here's the choice " " " ce of news of the month-Jim Johnson, formerly with Bud nt's band on the campus and later with Herble Kay, has left neck. y to join up with a harp ensemble...... Jack Cathcart, I know two girls on this campus that don't Sanders' first trumpet man, and more recently of Tweet Well, tell me who they are. gan's and Jess Kirkpatrick's orchestras, is back in Chicago and give them a bad name! twill open soon at the Chicago theater with Leonard Keller, What, tone-poem maestro...... Herbie Kay, after a few more -Penn State Froth eks on the road and a location job at St. Louis, will again urn to the Edgewater Beach hotel...... Hal Kemp still itnues to hold his popularity, picking up in New York where left off at the Blackhawk in Chicago..... '...., OH ag's brother, is following in his brother's footsteps, now ap- Irate Co-ed-Hey, what're you following me for? Didn't fling on a national hook-up with the Dorsey brothers. .Slim. LaMarr, former campus maestro, is finally hold- you ever see anyone like me before? sway in St. Louis after convincing union officials he just Frosh-Yeah. But I had to pay a quarter. rely wanted to play there, not to buy the local...... -Cornell Widow qy Carmichael, pride and joy of the University and the Kappa ;ma fraternity, still continues to write those popular tunes, and * * * "Judy" is now taking the country by storm...... Freddy aver, Cathcart trumpeter, is the newest composer on the nd and Editor: "Did you ever write anything before?" has written several fine tunes that at present are in man by several band leaders...... His "Reefer's Dream" Authoress: "Oh yes, I wrote a confession story once." d "Rhapsody in Love" have made big hits with campus it back?" diences Editor: "Did the editor send and his latest tune is "My Alpha Chi Sweetheart," seems to Authoress: "No, he came all the way from New York have been prompted when his girl became a ge at that house. to California to meet me." -Burr 22 N( NOVEMBER, 19

FOOTBALL AS A PROFESSION VARSITY BEAUTY SI (Continued from page 18) Phone 3030 ANICE DAVIS ness that will offer some sort of a career Look Your Best to them aft er Phone 4910 they are through with athletics. Since tenure in athletics is so short, I would suggest to the college athlete that he take an early opportunity to Papa: "What was your college average last year, s use his athletic ability. However, I would not plan to Son: "The best in my fraternity, father." depend upon professional athletics as a career but would Papa (pleased): "And what was that?" use it merely as a stepping stone to a more stable profes- sion. Son (proud): "Seven dates per week, and no wo twice!"

IT'S NOT TOO LATE

TO SUBSCR IBE Frosh: "I guess you've gone out with worse loo fellows than I am, haven't you?" The Six Remaining Issues of the (No answer). Frosh: "I say, I guess you've gone out with worse 1 ing fellows than I am, haven't you?" Co-ed: "I heard you the first time, I was trying think." -Poi for 7 cents

... Mail or bring this coupon together with the shekels to Bored Walk, Assembly Hall. "He's a fraternity man." Name ...... "How do you know?" "He answered to four names in class this morning." A d d ress .. .- ...... - ...... -...... -Texas Ra

U U THE PLACE TO MEET THE PLACE TO EA~T "THE COMMONS"

Students, faculty and visitors find the utmost satisfaction in the finest food, the best of service at the cafeteria, soda shop and grill

Jimmy Cathcart's Orchestra Every Afternoon INDIANA UNIVERSITY COMMONS 23 RED WALK

GAB-BAG U

FALL days again-feel silly I with a topcoat, and chilly without one. Spend most of ' my moments wandering from 1 ! ' the Commons to Gables and versa-vica. Waiter spills tray and inquires mildly-"Mind if / I cuss?" Such control! Or- chestra spends more time tun- / ing up than it does playing- -3 .- '< like cranking a Model T. This jmn makes it almost a necessity to be among the gath- igs every day when the ding-dong hits four-only trou- is finding ways and means. Any tall blond ways-and- ans please be near the door. Odd-how everyone in- .ctively reaches for a cig. whan Smoke Rings is banded aspiration, no less. Think I'll put a number on that and it to some cigarette turner-outer-afraid they might be re inclined to put the number on me tho. Wait'n wait for rs--dying of thirst-finally, by combination of flying kle and half nelson succeed in coralling waiter long ugh to beg for coke-please-and immediately every ter in room makes a concentrated dash for your table- booth, as the case may rest. Ever notice? Call waiters terms because they wait on the students, but what do y call the students who wait on the waiters? Fancy consternation that should have been the lot of the HE arrival of corduroy as an accepted campus who dashed up to the couple on the lawn and humann fashion is logically in line with the "note of rug- uested the girl to call her when the 10:30 bulbs flicked s she "just couldn't be bothered to watch for them."- ged individualism" that has crept into the university knowing that the masculine profile beside the active wardrobe...... was addressing belonged to her English Comp. teacher! ve found a purpose in Fulk's drowning-man's- Somehow, of all fabrics, corduroy seems to tune in tch on the mike-easy to adjust the screws. Wonder most harmoniously with the serene charm of at the vital statistics are on coke glasses? One of my secret ambishes-to trip a waiter as he ambles by with academic life. It goes well with pipes and books, and1 apacity load of glassware. You too? By the way-if aspirations . .. and even with girls! . ladies on the aisle will just half mast those elbows asionally, a waiter's life will be less of a case for the The leading university shops in the country are now urance co. Season of the dance 'n prance is again with featuring tailored outfits of Crompton Corduroy -nothing like a dance for making ends meet! Bashful iu takes long drink-of water-before trying to disen- in models that are as keen as they are authentic. gle Only One from table of girls-memories of the old The model illustrated is currently featured by ing--"And the prisoner ate a hearty breakfast." Cute le night cap Jimmy tenderly removes from the mike 'ry aft. Campus bridge-four dummies and forty kibit- SULLIVAN'S, Inc. s. Homeward wending over another kind of campus dge--reminding me of nothing so much as safety zones the middle of heavy traffic. So long-see you when the CROMPTON-RICHMOND COMPANY-INC. on's spinning his usual silver alibi-for-anything. 10 7 IsixTH AVENUE AT 41IST STREET, NEW YORK CIT Y ______-- Evelyn Ross Conrad * 1984 C-a co. inc. ______

" e "

'he nurse entered the professor's room and said softly: s a boy, sir." 'he professor looked up from his desk. "Well," he said, hat does he want?" -Exchange 24 NOVEMBER,

FRESHMEN AT THE FLICKER, 1. Funeral parade in England. S or 2. .Russian calisthenics. ETTIQUETTE FOR THEATRE GOERS 3. Italian mass singing (children). 0 BEGIN with you arc Gus Gulli~le of the Mu Nu 4. Political impressions of several laymen. (If the r Mu house and you have just asked your fraternity reel company is Democratically owned the Demo father to get you a date for Saturday night. (It is now observers will give fairly intelligent prepared spe 5:30 Saturday afternoon.) Of course he acquiesces as The Republican laborer will be an uncouth illiterate gracefully and pleasantly as possible and proceeds to call gurgles disjointed jiberings.) the Tri Tau house. He is told, strangely enough, that You will naturally win 1st in the contest but fi their finest freshman had a date broken and would just get your quarter. love to go. (Greta Guthead to you, Gus, you lucky fel- After disposing of topic "B" and banana-split mon low.) the way home you hurriedly escort her to her door. Anyway you thrash up to the Tau house and put the There with a sickly grin on your face you offer: " customary half hour on the waiting bench. She's so night." To which she replies: " - - - excited at having her first date that she dresses at 6:30 (You think of something funny-I'm tired.) but since it would look funny to come down when you -Fritz Purne call, she waits the other half hour before giving you a " " " break. She is automatically a bespectacled hag. INCONVENIENT Her feet aren't mates Stout Woman: "I want to return this washing macl She has Franklin teeth (air-cooled; git it?) Salesman: "Why, what's wrong with it?" But she wears her clothes well, and reads good books. Stout Woman: "Every time I get in the thing the She also has a bird bath in her back yard. dles knock me off my feet!" (Apologies to Bugs Baer) You wor.der how well the headache gag would go over but decide to stick it out. During the 5 mile hike Q. E. D. to town you lead off with a breath-taking conversation Math Professor: If there are 48 states in the L' about the time you almost got to play football at Steam and superheated steam equals the distance from Bo: Corner, whereupon she will retaliate with an awe inspiring to Paris, what is my age? description of the horticulture exhibit at the state fair. Frosh: Forty-four, sir. you can't stretch out this conversation until you get. Professor: Correct, how did you prove it? to the show you will have to walk the rest of the way in Frosh: I have a brother who is twenty-two and silence in order to save topic "B" for the trip back. only half nuts. You will arrive in the exact middle of the show which * * * makes it impossible for you to understand the plot, if any. GAME Because her eyes are bad you must sit in the third row Es-"Got something and the only remaining seats in front are on the extreme in your eye?" left, which makes Eugene Pallette look like Slim Sum- Vern-"No, I'm just trying to look through my thu merville. You are surrounded by 9 year old unbathed -Sage boys and girls who would rather see Hoot Tyler in "The Fightin' Sheriff." They show their disapproval by stamp- ing their feet and making bird calls. When you find out the leading lady is Zazu Pitts you rarnp also. Finally the cartoon comedy comes and you relax for the only inter- esting part of the program. The brys like this part too- in fact, that's the only reason they've sat through three shows. However, they are beginning to get hungry; and so, take out their lunches. The paper rattling episode is over in time for the newsreel. This part of the entertainment is very interesting since you can accompany it with a de- lightful little guessing game. You have your date pick out several news items which she thinks will appear on the screen and then bet her a quarter that you will pick more of them correctly than she can. She will pick: 1. The winner of the freckle face contest. 2. The battleship scene. 3. The eyewitness to the bank robbery (speaks broken English). 4. The rodeo scene. (Which isn't bad guessing for a first try at the game.) The Return of the Native. However, you being an old hand at it will select as fol- lows: 25 RED WA LK

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I I U I 26 NOVEMBER

A sweet young thing, whose parents were IN INDIANAPOLIS themselves of things so she could get a college was telling of some of her inexperiences. Ideally located in the heart of " S. Y. T.: In the evenings we usually have dat downtown shops HOTEL to some lonely spot and neck. That ain't nice bu WASHINGTON is just a step from everything worth while. Dad: A whole year in college and you still s

Single Rooms, W ith bath ...... :...... $2.00 W ithout bath ...... 1.50 OFFICIAL DUTY

Lady-So you are on a submarine, what do y Double Rooms, Sailor-Oh, I run forward, ma'am, and hold With bath .-...... $3.50 up when we want to take a dive. -Anne

Tablecloth Cafeteria . . . from 7 A. M. to 2 P. M. '1MM6||BIE Beginner (who had never fished before): "O Cafe Service from 5 P. M. to a bite. Now what do I do?" 8 P. M. 50 & 75c. Fisherman: "Reel in your line." Beginner: "I've done that, the fish is tight a; Garage Service At end of the pole. Now what do I do?" Hotel Entrance Fisherman (disgusted): "Climb up the rod an Get the Washington ,truthfully a H abit. good hotel"

"Hello! Is this Mr. Goldfarb?" "Yes." "This is Mr. Schneck's office. Will you please hold the wire?" AMUEL R. GUARD & CO. (Pause). to students and student organic "Hello! Is this Mr. Goldfarb?" a thorough and sympathetic understanding of "Yes." printing and publishing problems. "This is Mr. Schneck's private secretary. Hold the line a Fraternities and sororities will find a helpful minute, please." (Pause). ice in the issuance of chapter or national pi "Hello! Is this Goldfarb?" tions. "Yes." It will be a special privilege to help work "Well, this is Schneck. Goldfarb, you stink!" -Log format on prospective publications.

You are invited to visit our plant or to s She-I suppose you'll want me to give up my job, honey. your problems for suggestions and quotations. when we are married. He-How much do you make? She-Fifty dollars a week. He-That's not a job. It's a career. I wouldn't want to interfere with your career, darling. -Rice Owl Samuel R. Guard & Co. I

SERVICE Printers and Publisher Customer: "Have you any wild duck?" Spencer . Indiana Waiter: "No sir, but we can take a tame one and irri- tate him for you." -Burr