Featuring Deepak Chopra, M.D., Stress Authority Diana Fletcher with the Stress Free Wisdom of 65 Experts Edition 2, $5

Live—Love—Bliss—Health—Wealth—Inspiration

"During trying times, stress can feel over- whelming. I hope the words of wisdom and encouragement from experts shared here will lift you up into a world of newfound hope and unlimited possibility." ~ Viki Winterton

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Publisher: Expert Insights Publishing Talent: Viki Winterton Editor: Pam Murphy Content: Wendy Hancharick Graphic Design: Terry Zee Cover Photo: Hal Price

©2021 Insights Magazine, all rights reserved.

My heart now calls me back to childhood. To hear the rain and play much more. Back to Joy To sit by trees & watch the ants go by, By Hal Price To both imagine and explore.

Clouds now invite me to stretch out again It seems like only yesterday In the grass with eyes alert, I was carefree, light and fun. To watch them drifting with the dandelions I could play away the hours While I’m hugged by Mother Earth. Until each magic day was done. As a child the MOMENT LIVED in ME! My imagination ruled my world, I let it all come in! The clouds formed shapes for me! I did what made me joyful. I watched the ants march all in line I did what made me grin. Beneath my favorite tree. Today, I’m taking ME out for a walk I found smooth stones in my backyard In STILLNESS we’ll spend time. To throw with angled skill, I’ll forgive myself for getting lost. To make them skip and jump for joy I’ll reclaim this heart of mine. In the old creek down the hill. I will hug the child inside me. Rainy nights would lull me fast asleep, I will tell him, “I LOVE YOU!” Their patter soothed my soul. I will let him be my guiding light, Their morning gift was puddles I will live a life more true. Which daring feet would soon behold! It is time to crush my old stone walls, I used my breath most in the springtime Remove the blocks that made me weak! Helping dandelions to fly. I will turn them into pebbles I would carefully choose the fluffy ones Where I’ll skip them down the creek! To blow their seeds back to the sky!

Sometimes I’d run and chase the seeds Before they each could land, I’d stick my head right under them, And blow them UP again!

Those carefree days were slowly leaving me! My busy life made me forget, That I came here to enjoy each breath And not make choices I’d regret.

My new life choices made me stressful. I lost a precious part of me. I forgot what made me loving. I was blind and could not see. www.HalPrice-Creations.com

Deepak Chopra, M.D., FACP Interview by Ran Zilca

Deepak Chopra is a world-renowned authority in the field of mind- body healing, a best-selling author, and the founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing. Heralded by TIME Magazine as the "poet- prophet of alternative medicine," he was also the host of the pop- ular weekly Wellness Radio program on Sirius/XM Stars.

A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra is the prolific author of more than ninety books, including bestsellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than forty-three languages. His New York Times bestseller Peace Is the Way won a prestigious Quill Award, and The Book of Secrets was awarded the grand prize at the 2005 Nautilus Book Awards; his best-selling novel, Jesus: A Story of Enlightenment, was released in 2008. He is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle and Washington Post On Faith and contributes regularly to Intent.com and the Huffington Post.

Deepak Chopra's popularity as an international presenter and keynote speaker is exemplified by an impressive list of honorari- ums. For more than a decade, he has participated as a lecturer at the Update in Internal Medicine event sponsored by Harvard Med- ical School's Department of Continuing Education and the Depart- ment of Medicine, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Dr. Cho- pra is a fellow of the American College of Physicians, a member of the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists, an adjunct professor at Kellogg School of Management, and a senior scientist with the Gallup Organization.

Before establishing the Chopra Center, he served as chief of staff at Boston Regional Medical Center. He received his medical de- gree from the All India Institute of Medical Sciences and did his internship at Muhlenberg Hospital in Plainfield, New Jersey. He then completed various residencies and fellowships at university- affiliated medical centers in Boston.

Deepak has released the top-selling ”Stress Free” audio and iPh- one mobile application and discusses the impact of technology on our health and happiness.

RZ: Deepak, how do you define your “Greatest Work” and what lead you there?

DC: I’ve authored over 90 books so far, and of course asking an author about favorite work is like asking a parent about a favorite child. I find Reinventing The Body Resurrecting the Soul to be a book that brings together many concepts from several different scientific and spiritual disciplines and viewpoints into a single phi- losophy and world view. In a way it is a summary of decades of my thoughts, and I am very proud of it.

RZ: Deepak, How has the latest technology made it easier for you to reach and help others?

-4- DC: Technology is a very powerful tool, and more recently it is allowing individuals to make pro- active changes in their lives. In particular with the advent of mobile computing, people can use technology everywhere and everyday to engage in simple but great interventions like journaling, and interacting with peers on social networks. I believe that significant changes to society start by individuals making personal transformational changes and those changes propagate upwards through communities, so mobile tools with social aspects are therefore immense catalysts of change.

RZ: Deepak, what most inspires you?

DC: I am greatly inspired by the creativity and strength that people show when they face adver- sities and challenges. As a physician, I have witnessed some very inspiring behavior of patients. I am fascinated by individuals who have made substantial changes to the world we live in like Nel- son Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Martin Luther King. It’s also astounding to see how certain philosophers have changed the way people think simply by introducing a different view on life. A great recent example is the Indian philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti, whose work remains relevant almost 100 years after his death.

RZ: How do you inspire and move others to change their lives?

DC: All people have a great potential capacity to deal with different situations, but sometimes they need help surfacing these skills to everyday use. As an author and speaker, it’s extremely rewarding for me to be able to help individuals harness their own inherent creative human capa- bility to issues they need to address in their daily lives.

Stress-Free Tips - Dr. Deepak Chopra

The ideal picture of family is well known. We have all seen movies, plays, and TV shows with smiling faces and happy family gatherings. However, now the reality is different now. As stress affects all areas of our of lives, here are a few ideas:

1. Give others what they truly yearn for Give something that money can’t buy. Focus on that one thing only you can give: a special skill, your forgiveness. Small gestures go a long way.

2. Carry a small emergency kit anywhere Everywhere you go, take with you a little “kit” that can quickly help you de-stress. Take a small notebook and when you have a few minutes, write down what you feel or write a few things you are grateful for. Showing gratitude has been shown by positive psychology researchers to provide many psychological well-being benefits.

3. Get the rest you need Make enough time for eight hours of sleep. It could be tempting to “steal” downtime late at night, but sleep deprivation is guaranteed to cause more stress and aggravation.

4. Forgive Others It is likely that during this coming month you will be in touch with people who you do not often see, some of which you may hold a grudge at, or feel upset about past events. Find it in your heart to truly forgive.

“The possibility of stepping into a higher plane is quite real for everyone. It requires no force or effort or sacrifice. It involves little more than changing our ideas about what is normal.”

More Stress Free Tools from Deepak Chopra amazon.com/dp/B004JU157O and amazon.com/dp/1984887998

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Wisdom from Top Experts and Coaches on Stress Free Living! 1. To close off yourself in a quiet room (preferably with a nice view, maybe with nature sur- rounding) and listen to your favorite calming music - after all, Leo Tolstoy says "Music is the shorthand of Emotions" ... to ease away stresses emotionally, we can do so through music. —Lisa Tan-Koh

2. Run before you work. It's the endorphins plus the sense that you've helped yourself and ac- complished something tangible in one fell swoop. —Jeffrey Cohen

3. Break down your goals into easily attainable baby steps! Anything can be accomplished if you attack it one step at a time. —Lynn Grabowski

4. Learn to be in the world but not of the world. Observe the body going through its motions, and the mind going through its desires, wanting to control, attachment to outcomes and expecta- tions. As an observer in the play and as an observer of your ego being an actor in the play, the stress melts away. A tall order, what I am suggesting, but the only game there is. —Miles Kierson

5. Yoga, I believe is the best way to work on our mind and body. Practicing on a regular basis brings great results. I do Kundalini Yoga, and can guarantee that not only stress is constantly kept at a very low level, but energy is increased. —Carla Benedetti

6. "Have (genuine core unbranded) Faith" - Secret to happiness - Secret to optimal use of resources when faced with uncertainty. —Andrea Moretti-Adimari

7. Active meditation is the key to being stress free, be it cycling or walking, running or dancing. You focus on the activity at hand and the meditation becomes an automatic state. —Mark Smith

8. Proper nutrition and nutrients are key. So many of my clients eat poorly and use caffeine for fuel. By making some changes in nutritional habits, they have increased their capacity to handle stress. —Tawny Lees

9. It's all about preparation and planning. Compile a list of everything you THINK you need to accomplish over the next few weeks - EVERYTHING no matter how big or small. Then with your calendar in hand start to break that list down. First put the things on your calendar that you truly want to do - it is your life! Then just start moving on down from there, what can you delegate, what can be shared, what are you just not going to do - the choices are yours. —Kathleen Hennessey Buchanan

10. Practice Deep Breathing Clearing Away the Clutter, Mapping Your Support Circle, Visualiz- ing Future Goals/Success, Flipping the Script - Self-Talk. —Colette Ellis

11. My tip for staying stress free is to stay committed to your exercise program, each and every day, if only for 10 minutes! That means staying 'true to you'! —Pat Mussieux

12. Ask yourself, “Will it matter next Tuesday?” In other words, how big a deal is it anyway? Is it life-threatening or devastating? Learn to categorize your stressors. Then, like any good plan- ner, focus on important issues and leave the lesser ones alone. —Ruth Seebeck

13. The greatest power for life grows out a constant attitude of GRATITUDE. Give Thanks every spare minute, every day, in the morning, at bedtime, at mealtime. Just give thanks to eve- ryone and to the Eternal source of power all the time. Let that sprit of thankfulness pervade all that you do, think, or say. —Marion Smith-Waison

14. Handle suppression by: 1. Understanding why others suppress you. 2. Identifying the suppressors in your immediate environment. 3. Handling them through a communication process that makes you less effected by their actions. —Brenda van Straaten

-8- 15. Say YES to saying NO. Our lives can become hectic and unbalanced because we say yes to practically every request and situation in our lives. Give yourself permission to create more har- mony in your life by saying “yes” to saying “no.” No to additional activities, no to the things you are not passionate about, and no to your negative, judgmental, and non-supporting thoughts. —Jeanette Eleff

16. What is stress? When do you feel stress? I feel stress when I didn’t say “no” and I have to do something I don’t want to do only because I had decided to say “yes” instead of “no.” So the closer you are to yourself, the more you love yourself like you are, the less you will do some- thing because you should do it. If you feed the love you need inside you, you won’t have to find it outside. So you will be free and in peace with you and full of energy. This emotion will help you to make the right choices. You feel freedom and harmony. You will accomplish all the things that have to be done easily because you have so much energy. Treating yourself as you need and as you deserve to be treated will increase your inner energy and strength. —Regina Maurer

17. Following those memorable words we've heard from family members to celebrities, one of the most powerful ways to reduce unhealthy stress any time is summed up by saying three words . . . “No, thank you.” More often than not, we bite off more than we can chew. We say “yes” to things we are unable to adequately do. When our word (our “yes”) does not match our deed (our actions related to that “yes”), STRESS blossoms. Any time you're invited to do some- thing, be somewhere, or make a commitment, double check your calendar, your energy and your resources. When you say yes, mean it. Otherwise, gracefully decline. I often decline by saying, "You know, I must say no to you. When I say yes, I say yes knowing I can do what I say. I'm sure you enjoy people who do what they say versus saying yes then disappointing you - right? If I can say yes to this in the future, I'll be in touch.” —Soul Dancer

18. Unplug the tv! —Veronica Raya

19. Start your iPhone by laughing pleasantly every time. —Dr. Rekha Deshmukh

20. Listen to your energy. Stress increases as our energy levels decreases, so continually keep in touch with your energy, ask what is it telling you now and act on its response! —Adrian McGinn

21. Stress Tips a. Do not wait for invitations to get together with others. Initiate some low or no cost activities where you invite others to be with you. b. Take time to do things for others. Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen, deliver blankets to the homeless, and do other service activities. It really reduces stress to know you have spent time to help others. c. Ask for help! It always seems easier just to do things yourself. It takes away the need to ex- plain the details to others. However, that kind of thinking can only lead us to a stress-filled life. Even young children can be an enormous help if you stop worrying about perfection and how long the task will take. While they are helping with one task and feeling good about their contribution to the effort, you can stay busy with another simple task, working alongside your "helpers." d. Reframe your situation. All alone and lonely becomes time to concentrate on yourself; feel- ing rushed and pressured can be turned into a feeling of excitement and anticipation; shopping for holiday gifts or related purchases can be seen as an opportunity to walk around the mall, burn a few calories, and a way to exercise your budget skills. Challenge yourself and make it fun! —Dr. Margery Miller

22. Remaining stress free may not appear to be an easy task and, amazingly enough, it is quite simple. Welcoming all of what Life serves to you as it is, without judging it, opens within you heart acceptance and dramatically diminishes stress. Try it! You only have stress to lose! —Marguerite Massicotte

-9- 23. There are many effective alternative stress reduction techniques and finding the right one for you is a matter of two things in particular: 1) finding one that suits your personality; and 2) finding one you'll stick with over time. This said, maintaining a gratitude journal is one of my favorite strategies for reducing stressful feelings. The worry and anxiety melt away as you begin to reflect on the things in your life (no matter how small!) for which you are grateful and jot them down on a page. There is even scientific evidence to support that this positive psychology practice is the most effective in creating happiness in one's life. So find a journal, make it your own, find a moment in each day and give thanks for your blessings. —Carolyn Sullivan

24. Take a walk outside, pet a dog, cat, or a horse! Shut off the radio in the car and breathe. While lying or sitting, close your eyes, take 3-5 deep breaths into your belly, feel your body sink into the chair, couch or bed. Imagine turning the ON switch of your brain and busy mind to OFF. Every time you notice your thinking, turn off the switch and feel your body....know that all is per- fect in each moment... —Monique Morimoto Flaherty

25. Remember folks we need some stress to stretch us and fulfill our developmental urge. Stress free should not be a goal, but rather a discussion on level of stress, our perception or story about stress and remaining centered in times of excessive stress. —Niall McShane

26. We need no stress to reach our goal if our goal is to live a happy life. "Happiness through Stress FREEDOM" was the guiding principle of Europe's probably most successful philo- sophical lifestyle movement that flourished for 800 years unchanged (roughly from 300 BCE until 500 CE), Epicureanism.

One of their practical instruments was the cultivation of gratitude. It was due to teachers, Nature, friends. It was extolled as a preserver of youth, as a healing influence in sorrow, as a preventive of vice, and a means of robbing the grave of its victory. In relation to happiness, the goal of liv- ing, it functioned as a chief coefficient, just as ingratitude was a chief cause of misery. They knew that "it lies in our power to bury unhappy memories in everlasting oblivion and to recall happy memories with sweet and agreeable recollection."

The habit of ingratitude creates an opening for fears: "The life of the fool is marked by ingratitude and apprehension; the drift of his thought is exclusively toward the future." Even gluttony is linked with ingratitude: "It is the ungratefulness in the soul that renders the creature endlessly lickerish of embellishments in diet." The argument here subsumed is that gratitude is due to Na- ture for rendering the necessities easy of acquisition, the luxuries difficult... (Quoted from "Epicurus and His Philosophy" by Norman W. DeWitt) —Stefan Streitferdt

27. Re the comment "we need some stress to stretch us", I think we need external chal- lenges in our lives, but if our reaction is stress, it's time to take a different perspective, see it as an opportunity to learn, and get "excited" about the challenge. (Stress drains us, but excitement energizes.) —Jane Miller, BSc, PhD, ACC

28. ...after all stress is just a state of mind and I do feel that some people wallow in it enjoy- ing being stressed it is part of their identity. If we actively avoid stress we are happier, healthier, and much more productive. So come on everyone let us work together to rid the world of thinking about how stressed they are and move them to focus on the good things in life. —Carol Black

29. My father used to say to me every day, "Don't be miserable; too many people are better at it!" Great advice. So, the second I feel even a tinge of stress, I remind myself of three things (1) there are so many people worse off, so cheer up, (2) being stressed is a choice, (3) getting stressed makes things worse, not better. —Clinton Wingrove

30. An attitude of gratitude will automatically slow one down long enough to pause and disrupt energy drain. —Helga Matzko

31. Using GAP & AGAPE techniques developed by Tom Stone, I quickly find that peaceful place inside where nothing is lacking. —Pamela Michell

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Diana Fletcher the ‘Stress Reducing Coach,’ is also an author and motivational speaker. Diana is an expert at helping people reduce stress and achieve optimal health, no matter how busy and hectic their lives are.

She is author of the popular books, Reduce Your Stress Month-by-Month: Stress Reducing Strate- gies, and the coauthor of Inspired Entrepreneurs.

Diana has authored Creating Space: 38 Strategies to Help You Make Time for What’s Important, Fun Re-defined: 33 Strategies to Remind You to Enjoy the Simple Pleasures of Life, and Don’t Stop Now!: 25 Strategies to Help You Build Momentum and Keep It Going, and is a frequent radio guest, and a regular contributing writer of internet publications.

Owner of Diana Fletcher Life Coaching, she coaches individual clients and groups. She facilitates workshops and offers presentations to corporations and businesses. Diana also conducts unique and informative teleseminars and teleclasses.

I: Since we are all crazy-busy, shouldn’t we just accept this and accept that stress is a part of our life?

DF: You know, it’s interesting. I work with stress topics all the time, and people tend to think that we need to just go with this. We’re all stressed out, so why don’t we just accept it? This is the way the world is. It’s very busy.

The problem is, our bodies aren’t meant to be under stress this much, and if we don’t do some- thing about it, very serious things can happen. Stress is related to all sorts of problems – diseas- es, heart problems, diabetes, mobility issues, weight gain or loss, and depression. We have a lot of people on medication, and while I’m not anti-medication, I do think it’s something to look at. I think that we have to stop being used to this. We have to realize this isn't how we were made. Our bodies were made to go into action, have a stress reaction, if we perceive something is dan- gerous or exciting, and then our bodies go back to normal.

What’s happening is our bodies stay in the stress mode, which is muscles tightening, heart rate increasing, and then our bodies don’t go back to normal. That's not good and causes diseases and other medical problems. We’re not meant to live that way. I truly believe we are not meant to live stressed out and running around all the time.

I: I know that you teach strategy. What would be the most important stress-reducing strategy to start with?

DF: The most important one to do and this is my favorite. It’s my biggest and most important and most powerful, and it will sound very, very simple. It is breathing. People who take yoga or do meditation are familiar with deep breathing, but I don’t think people realize how powerful this is.

I would love to do it with you right now, if you want to join me. I can take you through the way to do this. What you want to do is take one of your hands and put it on your stomach. The reason you do that is you want the air to go all the way to your diaphragm, and if your hand goes up, if it’s on your tummy like right below your rib cage, you’ll know the air is getting down there. When you empty the air out, you want your hand to go down, and you’ll know you’re emptying all the air out. Breathe in through your nose very slowly. Breathe in, and then you breathe out through your mouth, very slowly, and empty all that air out. Let’s do it again. In and then out. Let’s do it one more time. Breathe in through your nose very slowly, and out through your mouth.

Now I want to warn everyone, don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this. This is one of the

-13- healthiest things you can do for yourself. It’s easy to do. You don’t need equipment. It only about 30 seconds to do the three deep breaths, if that, and it’s doing wonderful things for your body. You’re getting oxygen to every cell in your body, including your brain, which will make you think clearer. It’s also calming everything down, and it’s slowing you down.

This goes back to that running around, crazy-busy. There are many times that we don’t stop at all during the day. The breathing, besides being really physically healthy, is a mental check-in with ourselves. We actually stop and think about how we're feeling and what’s going on. It’s also a very handy stress-reducing technique before a meeting, before a phone call, and also if there’s danger of a confrontation.

With the world the way it is and people running around, people leap in, they start talking, they get into arguments or they say things that they wish they hadn’t said. I think it’s a good idea when you’re approached, when you sense that there could be a tense situation, or even before you answer a request, take the three deep breaths. Your response will be calmer, and it could be totally different than it might have been a minute earlier. You may stop yourself from saying something you regret. You may notice more and realize that you don’t have to speak right then.

It’s just a little way of slowing ourselves down. It’s also a nice thing to do to help you get to sleep at night. A lot of my personal clients work at this and put little signs or Post-It notes up, and they do this every hour until they get it as a habit. I can't even tell you how many people have come back to me and said, “I was skeptical. I didn’t think breathing could do anything.” They are blown away at how powerful and helpful this technique is.

I: Do you have any other easy strategies that we could also implement?

DF: In additional to the breathing, I would also recommend people to take some time to drink water during the day, which sounds like kind of a funny thing to throw in there, but the second most powerful one. I would also say getting enough sleep is extremely important. This is some- thing that we all know we should do, and the majority of people—I don’t want to say everyone because there are people who make this a priority—the majority of people, and this is children, teenagers, and adults, are not getting enough sleep.

We keep going and going and going, but you’re wearing your body out when you don’t rest and get enough sleep. There’s all sorts of things that get out of balance. There are hormones that get out of whack so you will eat more when you don’t have enough sleep. You won't think as sharply.

I always liken it to those times where you’ve got children—I’m sure you remember this—when you’ve had three hours sleep because they’ve been up all night, as opposed to eight hours sleep— your reactions are totally different. If you have a couple nights in a row that you don’t get enough sleep, you’re just not even making sense. I really believe if people get more sleep they are sharp- er; they can handle more. When the stress comes at them, they are able to handle it better. It makes them stronger.

Adults should have between seven to nine hours of sleep, and it can be very difficult to do that. I have a couple techniques that I like to share with people, because people say, “Yes, I know, but how am I supposed to do that? I have work to do; I have projects.”

First of all, we have to stop expecting ourselves to be able to fall asleep instantly when we get into bed right after turning off the TV or the computer. We do that. I always try to remind people and liken it to when we have children. We start the process of getting them ready for bed like an hour before. Clean up your toys, let’s have a snack, it’s time for your bath, and then there’s the story. So even if they don’t like it and they don’t want to go to sleep, their brain has gotten the signal to go to bed. I encourage people to start their own nighttime routine, and again, little by little.

You start by looking at how much sleep you’re getting or what time you’re usually going to bed. Figure out an average, move it up by about 15 minutes, and then start your own routine. Make

-14- sure that the TV or computer and cell phone are off—everything’s done an hour before the time you want to go to bed.

Take a hot shower or bath. Have a little snack if you ate earlier. You don’t want to be too full, but you don’t want to be hungry. Just read something light; have some nice music. Little routines. A comfortable bed. This does help people. You start out small—15 minutes—then you move it up. Try that for two or three weeks.

The breathing you will feel instantly. The sleeping, you will feel within days—how much better you’re doing. I think people find when they start getting more sleep, they actually get more done. Instead of working on that project until late at night, go get some rest and start on it in the morning. You will be sharper, clearer, and more creative. I think that reduces our stress, because our work goes better and our lives go better.

I: These things that you are suggesting seem to all be around basic self-care.

DF: You know, it is. It is self-care. When I started working as a life coach, I zeroed in a lot on wellness, nutrition and exercise. The reason I started going into stress reduction is I realized that all of those things were connected to stress. People weren’t eating too much necessarily because they were hungry. It was related to stress. People could not sleep because they were stressed out.

All these things related to health, and when I started breaking it down, I’ve had a lot of success helping people, and they’ve had success by making little changes in their lives. Using little tricks to make sure that they can get to sleep, and making sure that they eat well during the day. Don’t drink coffee too late in the day. It takes the average person six hours to get caffeine out of their system. Not having alcohol at night because you initially fall asleep, and then you wake up later. If that’s a problem for you, start looking at how you can make little changes in your day.

It really is realizing you have to take care of yourself, and by doing that, you’re building a very healthy, sound structure that then is prepared for the stress on the outside. We can't control eve- rything that’s going on outside, so what it comes down to is control what you can control. You can control yourself, how you eat, when you sleep, all the activities you’re doing, how much you’re doing—those things you can control. So, when the stuff comes at you that you can't control, you’re strong. You can take it. You can handle it.

I: You mentioned eating and drinking a minute ago; how important is what we eat and drink?

DF: It is so important. I like the 80/20 technique that I’ve heard; 80% of the time eat healthy, 20% you can cut loose a little bit. I’ve always liked that because after working with clients some- times on weight loss, you create a really dangerous situation by denying yourself, but at the same time, people are not eating well. We have serious problems with obesity and diabetes, and not just in the United States anymore. It’s all over the world, and I think it’s part of the rush and not paying attention. A lot of the strategies I use with people come down to look at what you’re doing, slow down, pay attention. Pay attention to what you are putting in your stomach. Pay attention to what you are drinking. Many times, people are so busy, they’re eating lunch at work at their desk. They don’t even remember what they had, and they didn’t even enjoy it. Then they want a treat, but then they eat that very quickly, and they don’t even remember the enjoyment that should come with a nice gooey piece of chocolate cake that you’re letting yourself have.

I: You’ve written a lot about mindful eating as a stress-reducing strategy.

DF: I love this, and it’s probably a very difficult thing for many people. This is a hard thing for people to do, because we are in such a rush. People are used to eating standing up or like I said, at their desk, talking on the phone, doing business throughout it, or watching TV. Mindful eating is just what it sounds like. Let’s use your mind and think about what you’re doing and truly enjoy your food. I think we have stopped enjoying our food, and as I said, it’s because we’re in a hurry.

-15- Mindful eating is to make it nice for yourself. If you can only do this let’s say starting with one meal a day or one snack, then do it consciously. You sit down first of all and there’s no TV on. There’s only pleasant conversation. You don’t want the complaining conversation of a lunchroom sometimes. You want nice conversation or quiet. You look at your food, and you put it on a pretty plate or a nice little table setting, and you eat slowly, and you savor each bite.

First of all, the way it reduces stress is it slows you down. That’s always going to be a stress re- ducer. Your digestion will be better, and you won't have that stressed-out, heartburn stomach problem later. Then you’ll really decide whether you like what you’re eating or not. Many times when I’ve asked people to do this who are working with me, they will discover they’ve been eating things they don’t even really like. They were just eating them because they were there. They start paying more attention to fresh items and fruits, remembering vegetables they like, and taking the time to eat those and prepare them.

Realistically, we can't do this all the time, but again, we can do it enough times that we start building the habit. If it’s once a week to start, go for it. If it’s once a day, you can do this to eat breakfast. Start out small. The mindful eating … everything is connected to everything else. You start doing one thing, you feel good, and then it starts making you feel good about making anoth- er change, and then another. They’re all little steps that you just work into your day so it’s not a big deal.

I: You’ve spoken about being in the present as a stress-reducing strategy. Can you explain this?

DF: Yes. I think again with the hurry and the rushing that we do, many times we are not in the present. We are thinking about what we didn’t get done; what happened yesterday. We’re think- ing about a meeting coming up later today. We’re thinking about what we have to do tomorrow, and meanwhile, the present is just going by and we’re not enjoying it. Mindful eating is a way of bringing yourself to the present. The breathing—I mentioned that before—it might be the only time you check in with yourself. Being in the present, remembering to just slow down a little bit and enjoy right now—right now what’s going on around you—and feel grateful for that. Noticing what’s going on and remembering it, instead of just having your life be this blur of checking things off the to-do list.

Being mindful; that’s a simple one. You don’t need any equipment for that. It’s a nice, simple strategy. If you can remind yourself to do that even a couple times during the day, that’s a won- derful stress-reducing strategy.

I: How do you slow down if your work just keeps pouring in?

DF: A lot of people are dealing with that right now, especially if there are layoffs and then you get extra work. A couple things that I want to address with that. I think sometimes people assume they have to do more than they do. Now sometimes it is the reality, you do have a lot to do. But I think you need to first of all put self-care into practice, because you will be able to handle what you need to handle if you are healthy and strong, and that means eating right and getting enough sleep. You also need to prepare head of time. That means facing what you have to do, looking at it, prioritizing it. You can't just react all the time.

I think a lot of stress comes from feeling like we can’t control things. We’re out of control, and all we’re doing is reacting. If we can take the time to set up a structure, set up a way to do things, set up a way to prioritize, we will start seeing what things we can delegate. People always freak out and think they can't take anything off their list, and I usually can find something that they can remove. It’s always a challenge for me and I love it. I think we just need to start preparing ahead of time. I know that this week is going to be hectic. I know I have to travel. Don’t leave things until the last minute. Get your arrangements made ahead of time. Go in maybe a half hour early to organize your day before people are in your face.

There are ways to handle that instead of saying, “Oh, my God! There’s too much and it’s coming at me.” Be proactive, and really start looking. Do I need to do these things? Do I have to keep

-16- saying yes to every project that comes my way? Maybe that’s not good, and if I’m not going to do a good job on it, maybe someone can help me.

You have to start thinking out of the box and not assume this is the way it is, and this is the way it always has to be.

I: How important is exercise? What would be the easiest way to start exercising?

DF: Walking. Walking is my favorite exercise. Now, some people have a regular routine of exer- cise, and that’s wonderful, but those same people might still sit at their desks for long periods of time without moving around. I like to advise stretching, getting up periodically. I have exercises people can do while they’re sitting at their desk, but you need to get up and move around.

The walking can be done in any place. If you have to stay inside, you can walk back and forth, you can find some stairs, you can make an extra trip to someone else’s office. Walking can be put into your daily life. If you can get in more, lunchtime is a good time to do it. On the weekends, longer, and then of course, if you do have more time, sign up for a class, meet friends to do exer- cise, meet friends for walking, and that will make you usually go a little bit farther.

I think that’s the easiest one to start with. Even if you don’t think you have time, five minutes is better than sitting, or 10 minutes. You can walk out your door for five minutes, turn around, come back. You get 10 minutes of exercise that you wouldn’t have had, and your body feels better. Your body appreciates that—a definite stress reducer.

I: Can we pick up on other people’s stress? How can we change that?

DF: I think we do, and probably women, especially, pick up other people’s stress because we’re tuned into other emotions. There are certain stress reactions that I think we should be aware of when somebody’s under stress.

We especially have to watch this as coaches. I’ll notice that I start taking on some of the feelings that my clients have, and I have to do my breathing when that happens and separate myself. I think one thing to remember is back to that “control what you can control” so recognize it—“Wait a minute, that isn't my stress. They are upset, and that doesn’t mean I have to be.”

Sometimes you need to step away. That’s where the breathing can come in. You might have to remove yourself from a situation if it’s complaining, that kind of creepy situation. I think you have to be tuned in and aware. Again, pay attention, so if you see that there’s stress out there, don’t let it touch you. It doesn’t have to be yours. That sounds easy; it takes effort, but I think if you tune into what’s going on around you and be a little more aware, you can protect yourself better — and again, the self-care. You’re protected from a lot of things when you’re healthy.

I: So create a healthy boundary.

DF: Yes. Healthy boundaries and a safety place for you. Let’s face it, if you’ve got enough sleep, if you’re eating right, you’re happier. It’s a little harder to take on that other stress if you’re basical- ly happy and making yourself happy. That’s a good starting spot. Maybe you’ll be able to change their mood. Maybe you can work it the other way. You’re picking up on their stress, maybe they can pick up on your positive thinking and happiness.

You just have to be aware and make sure you’re not going there. Realize if you’re in a bad mood or something, look around and say “Okay, wait. What is this? Is this something that happened to me, or did I pick up on something else?” Then shake it off. I even say “shake it off” as in physical- ly. Walk away, kind of shake it off, brush yourself off, and go on. I use any little tricks that work.

Connect with Diane: http://dianafletcher.com

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Stress Free Life Choices From The Experts 1. When I am highly stressed about work, I mentally wall off some of the stress energy and focus it on "moving the ball." That is, I identify one small step that will move the ball in the direc- tion of work success ... and I take it within 2 hours." The step could be ‘one extra phone call’ or ‘one extra letter in the mail’ ... or ‘one extra task completed.’ After that one step is taken, I give myself permission to suspend work stress for the day ... "I have moved the ball and I am no long- er eligible for work stress today, thank you.!" Move the ball five times in a week and 20 times in a month and see real progress toward work success ... and enjoy at least 20 periods of glorious time in which work stress is not allowed. Just move the ball! —Dutch Holland

2. Take a Mindful Moment. It'll ground you and help you create a sense of spaciousness in a busy schedule. Stop what you're doing, focus on the feeling of your feet in contact with the ground. Follow your breathing for five breaths in and out, being conscious of the movement in your abdomen. Then resume your day! —Chris Bowles

3. Collage your stress. Have fun with it. Take a drive at night to look at the lights—oh and ah like you did as a child. —Deborah Abram

4. When you are in stress you forget the resources and skills you have and become very reactive. Someone that's reactive will make mistakes because they are taking action on anything that seems to work or fulfill the need, only creating more stress.

Sit quietly for a moment and take inventory of the skills you have and the resources and knowledge you possess. It's eye opening! By doing this, you will feel more empowered and your stress level will decrease so you can make more logical decisions and feel more in control of any situation. —Linda Napier

5. Spring out of Stress Stress is part of life and some folks do advocate that in lower levels, it may be even a bit benefi- cial to our own survival. However, we all know that too much stress is extremely detrimental to our health and wellbeing. Here are some of the elements I work with my clients when trying to chill out and normalize the level of anxiety.

Exercise Oh, yes! You’ve heard it, haven’t you? But you still haven’t done much to increase the amount of exercise you do on a daily basis. It is time to put on the sneakers and go for a walk, join (and go to) the gym, open your yoga mat, move your body in some fashion. Aerobic exercise, yoga and Pilates are proven ways you can decrease stress hormones like cortisol and increase endorphins (your “feel good” chemicals). It will increase your energy, help you lose weight and harmonize your overall relationship with your body. But remember, you’ve got to do it on a regular basis. One hour of exercise once in a blue moon will not do much. It does not need to be like you are training for a marathon, but most importantly, it needs to be periodic and consistent.

Nature It is getting warm outside. Get out, go smell the flowers, touch the trunk of a tree, walk barefoot on the grass, feel the gentle sunlight hitting on your skin. For me, there is nothing better for a stressful moment than when I come a bit closer to nature. It reminds me of what is important, what is simple, what is pure. Even if you think you don’t have enough time to spare, open the window of your car and enjoy the breeze. If you are walking down the street, look up and notice the sky. Take that moment, as brief as it may be, to step out of your routine and reach out to the peace of nature.

Diet Another one you’ve heard over and over again! But it seems to me this is one of the hardest to grasp. We know the concept, but we have a hard time putting it into practice. So much is involved when it comes to food -- culture, science, feelings, body type, body image, habits. It is a lot to handle and the learning curve can be steep. I would suggest one simple approach. To start, forget the calories, forget the fat, but focus on the quality of food to dump inside your body.

-20- The more processed food you eat, the harder for your system. Try to eat more natural foods. Read the labels. If you cannot pronounce what is in there, don’t bring it home. Be careful with hormones, antibiotics and other chemicals. Try to eat produce that was grown as clean and nat- ural as possible. Increase your daily intake of fruits and vegetables--the real ones, forget the “fake” vegetable ingredients. Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine as well, which has been shown to increase anxiety.

Sleep It has been said that approximately 60% of people who are stressed don’t get enough sleep. Our culture is increasingly underestimating the importance of sleep. More and more I hear peo- ple almost bragging about the little amount of sleep they get every night. It seems that in order to boost our reputation as hard workers and committed individuals, we need to tell everyone how little time we have “spared” to give it to sleep. Nonsense! Every adult human being needs 7 to 8 hours of sleep per day (and don’t come with your theories around this). If you don’t get at least this amount, you are sleep deprived and therefore you are increasing your chances of feel- ing even more stressed out besides decreasing your level of productivity. Turn off the TV, cancel some appointments, call the nanny—go to bed early! Find a sleep routine that works for you and make sure you cherish your ZZZs.

You More than anything, make time for yourself. It is so easy to get drowned by all the demands of our daily routine. We barely blinked and the day is over, without us having had the time to do anything that was really nourishing to our souls. My advise: If it is that hard for you to stop for a moment and take care of yourself, put it on your schedule. Make sure you set aside a block of time when you will be able to read a great book, take a bath, go for a walk or simply sit quietly in the dark. Treat yourself as a human being, not as a machine that is on the go all the time. Remember that if you don’t have YOU, you don’t have anything. If you don’t take care of YOU, nothing else really matters, simply because YOU (physically, mentally and emotionally) will not be there to do anything. Listen to what your body, your heart, your spirit is telling you. Nourish your most valuable asset — YOU.

The demands of our modern lives can become a huge burden and throw us out of balance with- out us even noticing it is coming. Make sure you pay attention to the level of stress you have daily. Notice how you react to what is happening around you and take the steps necessary to remain centered. Nature is bursting all around us right now. Let us together embark in this mo- ment of life and embrace a new day. —Elias Scultori

6. One great way to calm the nervous system is by doing a "hook up" developed by the wonderful folks at Brain Gym. Essentially it is sitting and breathing quietly while one's ankles and wrists are crossed: — In a seated (or standing) position, cross one ankle over the other. — Then extend the arms. Cross one wrist over the other while slightly rotating the arms so the palms face each other, and then intertwine the fingers so the palms come together and the hands are clasped. — The clasped hands can rest in the lap, or be curled up under the chin. After a few deep breaths, the stress seems to melt away. It works beautifully! —Suzanne Finder

7. My favorite de-stressors are reverting back to my childhood. When I was younger, I loved taking a walk and running through the piles of brightly colored fallen maple leaves. I still do. So, if you see a middle-aged woman, running and kicking through the fallen leaves, scarf and mittens on, drinking hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows, and a big smile on her face, say hello, and smile back. —Patty Hedrick RN

8. Hello! Something easy I share with my clients and do for myself, is to suggest putting a note on my desk or wherever I am a lot of my day that says: "Where are you in this mo- ment, How do you feel? BREATHE!" It's a simple reminder to check in with yourself during a hectic day and de-stress by bringing in awareness and breath! Simple but amazing! —Tammy Medsker

-21- 9. Take time for your self. Give yourself 10 minutes to 2 hours. Slow your mind down by breathing. Tune inward. Breath slowly, deeply, and gently 3 times with your eyes closed. Embrace your emotions as a gift. Recognize your feelings are messages from your soul. Journal or contem- plate and allow the gift to be revealed. —Coach Laura Rubinstein, CHt. www.TransformToday.com

10. My tip is to remain stress free by rotating the "point" position! I finally figure this out the year that I had pneumonia right before the holidays, watching a flock of geese. As the point goose begins to feel the slightest fatigue, he floats to the back of the flock formation and glides while another steps up to take the lead! Relinquish the lead and watch as others step up and into it with grace and elegance while you take care of you supported by their air beneath your wings. —Ann Farrell

11. Recommendations for remaining Stress FREE a. Get the creative juices going. In these tough economic times, what are you really good at? How are you unique? What can you contribute to society? Spend 15 minutes a day for several days brainstorming ideas on how you can turn tough times into prosperous times and take action on your favorite idea. b. Turn off the news for 1 week. That means ALL news. Internet, newspapers, TV, etc. Notice how the detox changes your outlook on life. c. Go 24 hours without complaining about anything. If something goes wrong, resolve to make it right, and move on. If you catch yourself complaining, start over until you go 24 straight hours. Then repeat. d. Evaluate your friendships. Make sure the people closest to you help you grow, feel good about yourself, are positive, and support you. Who you spend time with is who you become. e. Focus on TODAY—tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. Speaking of TODAY, what can you do today that you keep putting off? What's one massively important thing that could change your life if you just DID it? Go do it. Now. f. Smoke without the cigarette. That's a fancy way of saying, breathe. Have you noticed that smokers take deep breaths in, and let deep breaths out, and it's very relaxing? Try it, without smoking. Do this several times a day. You will find it feels great and really opens up your mind. g. Dance. Dance around your house, dance in your bedroom, dance naked, go salsa dancing, whatever. But dance. Dancing changes your physiology in a drastic way and shifts your energy level almost immediately. h. JUMP out of bed. And then spend a few minutes in gratitude for the new day. In the shower, brushing your teeth, etc. Think about what you are grateful for. Notice how the gratitude ends up staying with you through the day. i. Be good to yourself. Eat well, exercise at least 30 minutes a day, talk to yourself all day long, (in your head or out loud if you prefer), like you would talk to your best friend, get regular chiro- practic adjustments and massages, drink 8 glasses of water a day, and get 7-8 hours of sleep when possible. If you do these things, your mind will be more alert when you are working. If this is too overwhelming of a list, start with one thing you aren't doing, do it for one month and when you feel it's a habit, start something else. j. Laugh every day. If you aren't laughing, life has gotten too serious. Be joyful, and joy will come back to you. —Michele Jenkins

12. For remaining stress free? I would plan not to be! I would pretend stress was an invited guest to my party. I would welcome him/her with open arms, smile broadly, and accept whatever gifts were offered. Maybe I would notice the opportunities for patience, understanding, and the

-22- wisdom to know that my party pants might choose to morph as I went with the flow. And the gift of stress? Knowing the package I may open is entirely different than what I had planned or hoped for. After all, isn't surprise part of the fun? —Judy Krings, PhD

13. Breathing technique: Take 3 long deep breaths. Feel your feet, feel your toes. Feel your calves, feel your thighs. Feel your pelvis, feel your abdomen. Feel your chest, feel your neck. Feel your fingers, feel your hands. Feel your arms, feel your shoulders. Feel your jaw, feel your eyes. Feel your back. Repeat 3 times in a row. Repeat 3-5 times per day. —Monica Thakrar

14. The brain soothes itself through rhythmic activities—it's the same root reason why babies do things over and over, and why music is soothing. The brain moves from chaotic beta waves to smoother alpha waves as a result. So, find things you can do over and over. Doodling for 3 minutes, a rhythmic chant you do in a whisper 20 times, massaging your hands in circles, etc. —Ravi Rao

15. THE FOUR TEMPTATIONS. Self-generated problems and stress. Our favorite patterns of living, working and loving give us considerable pleasure. We feel like our true selves, doing what comes naturally. The temptation is to experience this pleasure wherever and whenever we can until we are overloaded and stressed. Compared with all the events around us which cause stress and we cannot control, the four temp- tations are a source of stress we can control. There are four temptations:

HELPING: Giving our all with high standards, trying to be a worthy and helpful person.

DOING: Taking what we need to get quick results and moving on to the next challenge.

THINKING: Holding on to what works and planning future effort a step at a time with facts and figures.

PLEASING: Dealing and compromising to keep things running smoothly and influencing people with a light touch. For example, the pleasure in our patterns may lead us to seek responsibility and work hard- er than others to meet our high standards, while helping others to do the same. Or, we can get quick results with a challenging project never done before, rallying and directing people to get be- hind it. Some of us get pleasure from laying out a plan with alternatives based on what worked well before, and with a timetable for each step of the way. Others may find pleasure in smoothing over tense situations with a light touch and finding ways for everyone to compromise, especially when all are pleased with the solution and us.

Those are some of our tempting pleasures. That’s us. We love it! Therefore, why not do as much of it as possible? It’s so confirming and pleasurable. Ah, but gluttony is our undoing. There can be too much of a good thing. Our pleasure can be someone else’s displeasure. Others can sense the self-serving nature of our efforts and feel put upon, and react negatively to stop us. What’s more, perhaps the task at hand does not require so much hard work, quick action, extensive analysis, or that much compromise. What comes naturally to us may not be what is naturally required in a particular situation. Nevertheless, we pour our time and energy into it, often letting other projects pile up.

But, because our favorite patterns give us such pleasure, we don’t think twice about whether our actions can lead to overload and stress. Pleasure wins out. We have also created stress by reduc- ing the time we have for our many other pressing responsibilities. Underlying time management is managing the temptations. Stress reduction will follow. —Stuart Atkins, Ph.D.© 2009 *Life In The Stress Lane, by Dr. Stuart Atkins, Ashford Publishers, Beverly Hills, 2009 Ca.,2009

-23- 16. The Inflection point for building stress is within one's mind. Coaching a coachee to control one's attitude towards his/her environment, be it dealing with ambiguity or aggression is one powerful method I've often used to help clients build their capability on managing stress. The coachee is helped to delve on the probability of taking positive actions. This new wiring is followed up with learning about its impact and reinforcement of taking on more positive actions leading to its own Domino effect. As always, while it is the coach who brings the expertise to build a struc- tured intervention, it works best where the coachee develops a deep desire to bring this change. Cheers! —Bomi Manekshaw

17. Take a Mini-break When You're Getting Crazed. When you find yourself starting to lose it or butting up against your own rigidity or circular thinking, take a quick break. Step away. Go out- side for a walk, do some guided imagery, snuggle your favorite toddler, play some music, call a loving friend or do a couple of yoga stretches. Five minutes of conscious AWOL can clear your mind and give you back your perspective, flexibility, and common sense. —Rev. Dr. Louise-Diana

18. Suggestions for remaining stress free: a. Take the word "stress" out of your vocabulary — the more you use this word, the more it will manifest in your life! b. It's the little things that matter — practice breathing when you're at a red light or when you're doing the dishes. Carving out an hour a day may seem overwhelming and not realistic, so find little points throughout the day when you can incorporate breathing and meditation into your daily routine. c. Connect with nature — even if you can't get outside. Post pictures in your office or home of beautiful streams, the ocean, the mountains. Bring in a branch of berries or a small plant into your office. Take a walk when you can but don't beat yourself up if you're not able to take a nature walk daily...again, incorporate small things into your life. d. Appreciation — appreciate the little things — the warm bed, the sunlight, the crunching snow, the cookies baking, the children's laughter. Do this as often as you can! e. Create space — clear out clutter, donate items in your garage, organize your desk, clean out one closet — create space so that joy and appreciation and laughter and good stuff can enter. —Inya Chehade

19. There are 2 different stress levels in one’s life, the good stress and the bad stress. Example of good stress is getting married, the excitement and preparations. The second stress (bad) is when your health or someone you love is suffering. On the other hand, there is the emotional stress that can take full control of us when we react to things rather than take full responsibility for what comes in our lives. I find the best and fastest way to getting off a stressful situation is by taking 3 deep cleansing breaths, take few moments for yourself and then let it go. —Elizabeth Mansur, Health & Wellness Coach

20. You deserve a break today, so get out and get away! In his book, Grinding It Out, the founder of McDonald’s, Ray Kroc, claimed that stress was the badge of hard work all entrepre- neurs must wear to succeed. He died of a heart attack.

I once felt, when things get crazy busy, confusing, or pressured, all I needed to do was throw more energy at it. It took way too long for me to learn that resolve comes from allowing myself time and space so grace and creativity can abound. We live at the ocean’s edge, so I find peace just gazing upon her.

Find your place of peace. —Viki Winterton

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Stress Free Special Occasions 1. S-T-R-E-S-S: SLOW down. Holiday stress is "good" stress.

TAKE some time to enjoy the good stress. If you have really taken on too much, then let some things go. Assess it fairly. Many times we exaggerate and cause ourselves more anxiety than is appropriate for the situation.

REALIZE that no one's life is completely stress-free all the time. How did you handle holiday stress last year? What did you learn from it? How would you like to handle the holiday frenzy next year? Further, realize that it is your choice to participate in and enjoy the holidays. You could choose to "sit this one out." Realize that you can choose your actions and your attitude.

ELICIT support from positive, helpful, caring people in your support system. Sharing the duties generally helps remind you of the whole point of the holidays.

SIMPLIFY your life in any way that you can. Clutter in any aspect compounds stress.

SHARE some of your good fortune (no matter how small you perceive it) with someone less fortu- nate. This act alone is guaranteed to light you up like a Christmas tree. There's just no room for negative feelings in that space. —Dr. Nancy Irwin

2. I'd advise putting a limit on spending for presents. Opening a £10 quirky present that makes me smile is fun and setting a financial limit on present spending releases the stress of over -loaded credit cards. —Penelope Young

3. How can you remain stress free this Holiday season? The holidays are a time for good cheer, love of family and friends, peaceful hearts, altruistic pursuits and reflection for the new year.

Take some time now to think about what is likely to cause stress for you during the holidays. Most likely they are activities or obligations that you find have little or no true meaning for you. Then you can begin to put a plan in place for how you can stay mindful of all the things that bring you joy and peace and connected to the things that matter most to you.

What matters most to me at the holidays is sharing with family and friends. So, inviting people over for a pot luck meal and meaningful conversation we share around an abundant table keeps me connected to everything that is life affirming and gives everyone present a way to contribute, and to share something of themselves.

Every year, instead of shopping for material gifts, I devote a day to baking organic yummy treats. This is something that gives me joy and relaxes me. Being in the kitchen making delicious crea- tions with love. Then I wrap them up in beautiful gift boxes and give them to family and friends.

How can you share your love this holiday season? Think about what connects you to what matters and less about what you think you "should" be doing.

Love equals joy equals little stress. Let your love flow! —Miriam Goldsmith

4. Instead of spending every free moment shopping and trying to figure out what to buy, send a note or give an envelope to your friends/family and tell them that this year in their honor, you have donated money to the local soup kitchen or a homeless shelter. They may be happy and relieved not to have "more things". You'll save time and reduce stress. It may be the start of a new tradition, rather than an ever escalating tradition of spending. If you must gift, then make something, bake or give a certificate of time (babysitting, a drive to the airport, shoveling the walk, etc.). —Margot Larson

5. Tips for remaining stress free: a. Simplify your plans and decor during holidays. Doing less means you can enjoy each activity that much more. b. Stop giving a gift to everyone you know. By prioritizing, you can make gift giving a genuine loving experience. Consider picking names out of a hat with your family/friends and buy for that

-28- one person. The gift could also be something you can do with your talents rather than buy. Any gift giving money or time left over? Consider making a donation in cash or in-kind. c. Take time for yourself. Give yourself the gift of contemplation. Think about what you want more of in your life. Write it down. You will be amazed at how writing will help lock it in and have you step into action. d. Give thanks for what you have in your life right now. —Helen Roditis

6. Being stress free at the festive season is important. Don't overspend. Remember, people will love you more than the gifts you bring and the food you buy. —James McGinty

7. First of all, stress free not only for holidays, it must be applied every day. When need- ed, put an ‘Out of Order’ sign, give yourself time to think, pace yourself and don't be afraid to say, “I can't, maybe later!” Good day everyone! —Ira Weil

8. Tips to Survive & Enjoy Your Next Holiday Party

So, it’s that time of year again—holiday parties sponsored by companies and/or professional asso- ciations. With good sense and foresight, these events can be excellent venues for you to demon- strate your competent advantage. Here are some tips to help you be the "life of the party," but NOT the subject of post-event gossip.

Before the event: Get a feel for the mood and expectations for the party. Do people dress up or is business attire more appropriate? Regardless of the official attire, you should always dress to impress.

Will there be any announcements or formal activities? And, if so, when will they occur? The last thing you want to do is stroll into the room just as your President or CEO is making his/her holi- day toast!

During the event: Watch your food and alcohol consumption. Have fun, but be careful not to overindulge. This is NOT the party for you to demonstrate how many tequila shots you can drink or how many cocktail shrimp you can eat!

Take notice of who attends the event. In addition to chatting with coworkers, look for ways to in- formally connect with managers or executives. It’s not necessarily the place to give a long speech about why you deserve a raise or promotion. However, you should always be prepared to give a 30-second pitch about your role in your organization. Be sensitive to their desire to talk about business. Parties can be great occasions to discuss hobbies and other interests that identify other- wise unknown commonalities.

Be aware of your surroundings. Take notice of when the party starts to wind down. Why? Well, do you really want to be around when the cater waiters are clearing the tables and putting up chairs? Remember, you don’t have to go home but …

After the event: Make sure you have a safe mode of transportation for the evening.

If you do happen to connect with a new colleague, make an effort to reach out via phone or email within a couple of days. Expanding your network at holiday parties is a great way to leverage your competent advantage. —Colette D. Ellis

9. For the holiday season: Count to ten before you pick up any item as a gift for someone and breathe deeply three times before you head to the register to purchase. —Hillary Hutchinson

10. If you are looking for a Holiday that doesn’t come with a big financial obligation yet creates a huge emotional payoff then why not plan a theme based on an “Old Fashioned Christ- mas” — a time of hand-made cards, where the present was in the thought and the gift was in the companionship of the day; a time where people came together and were content in knowing they had each other, a time when people cared more about people than things! —Larry Beckstead ~ Unlock Your Potential

-29- Turn Stress Thoughts into Best Thoughts & Beat Holiday Blues

Stress. We feel it. Sometimes we even need it. But can we beat holiday blues to enjoy this season more? What is the source of all that stress anyway?

Holiday stress is anywhere you find it — in the broken heirloom tree ornaments or china, lumpy gravy, difficult relatives, not enough help with preparation, frustration with seasonal commerciali- zation, tightly budgeted presents that may disappoint, multiple conflicting family invitations, re- minders of our loneliness or disconnection, and the special loved ones not present to celebrate with us. We can also feel stressed without identifying a cause.

The key is to fully own our stress. Through that embrace, while we cannot control external stress- ors or avoid stressful thoughts, we can turn our stress thoughts into our best thoughts and action.

Here are some ideas:

1. Place that ornament and plate broken into 1 million pieces on the floor into a zippered plastic bag. Retell the story for years of its origin and specialness.

2. Donate to charities and homeless shelters in place of gifts to friends and families. Volunteer your time for a worthy cause.

3. Form a volunteer committee and delegate preparation chores for the family get together.

4. Surprise that "difficult relative" with a special and unexpected mystery present this year. Or just give them the space they need to be difficult — without you involved. Just breathe and let them go.

5. Create playful traditions around good gravy/bad gravy tales for the young to retell for genera- tions.

6. Honor the dear departed relatives or the family soldier overseas through sharing wonderful best memories of that person through storytelling rituals.

7. Translate holiday stress and blues into a time of connection and renewed communication. E- mail, text, and free long distance calling certainly make it more doable.

Turn your stress inside out this year. You will find a nugget of golden opportunities for warmth and connection. —Patt Hollinger Pickett, LMFT, CPC, Ph.D. www.DrCoachLove.com

Just what is stress and exactly how does it affect us?

Stress is one of the most often used words today. But just what is stress and exactly how does it affect us? Let us begin with the definition of stress. Stress is a response of the body to stimuli. Noise, or heat or cold are not stresses. This means that if your neighbor is playing his stereo at full volume, but you have excellent earplugs, there is no stress. There is stress only if you re- spond. The impact of any event or stimulus depends on how you respond (or don’t respond) to it.

Events that create stress are called stressors. Many people think that all stressors come from out- side ourselves. In fact, stress-producing events can be internal and external. Internal stressors include the condition of our body chemistry, brain function, fatigue, attitudes, emotions, and thoughts. External stressors are the outside events, people, situations, finances, love, etc.

The distinction between internal and external stress is critical for two reasons: • One can control the internal cause of stress. • By correcting the internal cause of stress, adaptive energy is made available to handle external causes of stress.

-30- In fact, that is the only way to improve one’s ability to cope with events from outside over which one has little control. That is why religions have suggested attitudes of gratitude, grace and faith, in order to handle difficult situations. These attitudes are useful because they reduce one’s sus- ceptibility to external stress-producing events.

Natural healing procedures are used to reduce internal stress. This stress may be due to vitamin deficiencies, the presence of toxic metals, infections, structural imbalances, energetic or emotion- al blockages, and other conditions. Correcting these internal stressors increases energy levels and enables one to better cope with external events.

Some people are under the misconception that all stress is “bad.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

Dr. Hans Selye, who originated the stress theory of disease, wrote a book entitled Stress without Distress. He explained the idea that certain kinds of stress are essential for health. These range from physical exercise, which keeps our bones and muscles strong, to mental stress or stimula- tion, which keeps us mentally alert and appears to help avoid senility. Physical and psychological healing therapies intentionally apply a ‘positive stressor’ to the person in order to assist healing. The ‘good’ stressor may be a chiropractic adjustment, a massage, a new diet, vitamin supple- ments, or spoken words. These may be felt at first as stressful, but if applied correctly, result in a positive change. Because stress is a response that depends on how one reacts, the same event may cause stress in one person, but cause none in another. For example, one person may adore being around cats, while another person is allergic to cat hair and feels miserable around cats.

The simplistic example illustrates the principle that the stress response is individual, depending on what each person responds to. One’s physical or psychological make-up can protect or make one vulnerable to particular events. Of course, some stimuli affect everyone – starvation, radiation, cyanide poisoning — although individual variation exists to some extent in these instances. In a sense, we define ourselves by what we respond to; whether it be famine in Ethiopia, the stock market, sports scores, a bird singing, a sunny day, etc. Many times in order to achieve health and happiness, what must change are the events that we respond to. We tend to become like that to which we respond. The person who responds to the TV news tends to be shaped by that stimulus.

Another is more shaped by what his friends tell him. Becoming a mature person involves finding those situations which are healthful stressors for us, even though they may not be ideal for anoth- er. Much disease and unhappiness is produced because we either conform to or rebel against the dictates of parents and teachers as to how and to what we ought to respond.

A type of stress that is not often discussed is spiritual stress. A spiritual stress is one that causes us to change or adapt in a way that improves our character and makes us a better person. For example, some people respond to truth. They seek the truth in their activities, and they guide their life by it as much as possible. Responding to the truth is a powerful positive stressor. It can certainly cause some upset, as people and events are revealed for what they really are. But it leads to an enhancement and strengthening of character as long as one seeks and follows what is revealed as truth.

Many religions recommend techniques such as prayer and meditation. If practiced correctly, these activities as stressors increase self-discipline, awareness and deceptiveness to the truth. Taking full responsibility for our actions, responding to our conscience, and doing what is correct in every situation no matter what the consequences, are other positive spiritual stressors. Potentially harmful stressors include doing what is expedient, what ‘feels good’, or trying to please people.

In summary, stress is not due to events, but to your response to events. Most responses are con- ditioned. This is why you feel trapped by stress. If you correct internal stressors (imbalances in- side the body and mind) you will be more able to handle all kinds of external stress. You always become like that to which you respond. You can choose to respond to ‘positive’ physical, emotion- al, and spiritual stressors that have powerful beneficial effects on both mind and body. —Grace Allison, wellness, business development and marketing coach [email protected]

-31- Your thoughts become the wind and knowledge your sail…

How We Sculpt the Clay of Our Future Self by John Christensen

The boiling sun caught the flash of motorcycle chrome as it barreled across the Arizona desert destined for California. The bike was no match for the searing heat rising from the highway. The oil evaporated quickly, over heating the engine. The bottom end of the motor exploded, spewing a collection of engine parts hop-skipping over the pavement.

The motorcycle had been a reliable companion for months as I made my way through Mexico on a sojourn to British Columbia. By the time I hitch- hiked the rest of my journey to Vancouver, Canada, my money consisted of pocket change. My only choice one evening was to sleep on a park bench whose rights had been claimed nights earli- er by another individual who became very annoyed at my intrusion.

My life wasn’t determined or defined by that incident many years ago, but it was influenced by it. On our ride through life, we straddle a number of different truths. There is one truth that is hap- pening to our reality at the moment. This is a very powerful truth, which can have an overwhelm- ing imprint on how we feel about ourselves and where we end up. For example, if I accepted the reality that this could be the drift of my life as it was lived that night, the direction of my future might have taken a different turn. But pushing to be heard through the discomfort of that night, was the voice of my inner truth. I assured myself that this wasn’t who I was or what I would be- come. The experience was only a seed planted in my history that would lead to who I would grow into.

Deep inside everyone is an unseen universe of accumulating intellectual thought, formulating and shaping a path to your destiny on your behalf. Every personal decision and experience influences a recalculation of the options your internal GPS maps out in defining the possibilities of your future life circumstance. There’s always a plan at work. The difficulty is, the emotionally charged land- scape in which we live day to day doesn’t really connect us with the gathering wisdom contained within our internal mapping system. We are too overloaded with the challenges of our external world to hear this wisdom – or even know it’s there.

The velocity of life messes with our mind, diminishes our ability to think straight and violates our expectations of our potential. Economic stresses have the knack of eroding that piece of our brain, called the prefrontal cortex, which we use to set goals, make plans, visualize the unknown, solve problems and think creatively.

The ingredients that make up the spice of our life are rich with lessons, challenges, anxieties and opportunities. Our life is always a blend of more of what we can be, than what we’ve become. But if we’re not aware of or don’t acknowledge this inner truth of our internal compass, we can’t smell or anticipate the direction in which we’re headed. We think we are becoming smarter about the world, but in the process, what’s really happening is we’re becoming dumber about ourselves and the possibilities of who we could be.

We are operating with limited capacity as we begin to orphanate ourselves in the everyday grind from our inner truth. Success can be difficult if your imagination is out of focus. The real kicker is, the process still leaves all the important decisions in terms of where we end up, to us.

The Reality of Surviving

Every morning we wake up to a couple of interpretive environments to which we react. One is the ‘Surviving Reality,’ which happens TO us. It is the daily spin behind how we choose to use our val- uable time and energy in just surviving our existing life. It’s a world of learning and yearning, an augmented reality that continually throws a tsunami of information in our faces. Information is a burden until you digest it. Developing a vision for ourselves is so overwhelming and onerous;

-34- most individuals don’t know where to start so hardly ever attempt it. Sculpting our future self means managing what we feed our minds and what we filter out. 80% of the 60,000 or so thoughts that we process every day is junk data. We have to take the time and apply ourselves to interpret the information that will be of real benefit to us in reaching our potential and separating the important information coming at us disguised as urgent stuff.

The Reality of What Is

The other reality is the ‘What If Reality.’ This reality happens FOR us. It surrounds the air we breathe and sits just beyond our touch. The ‘What If Reality’ is inhabited by external forces, which present a passing smorgasbord of thought-provoking attractions, teasing us with opportunities, risk, hope, growth, challenges and choices. It’s there for us to grab on to and sample the clay of possibilities that move us towards what we could be. The ‘What If’ clay has no emotion or shape until we put our hands to it. We can take or leave what it presents, it really doesn’t care. We have to react to it, before it reacts to us.

The forgiving part is, if we neglect to consider or experiment today with the possibilities contained within the gathering clay of ‘What If’ scenarios, the elements supersede themselves continually. A vast array of possibilities and enchantment is continually being re-created by a world in constant flux.

Waves of change leave behind a high water line of personal disequilibrium distancing ourselves from integrating the thoughts of one reality with the knowledge of the other. Knowledge and ac- tion come together when the two realities inter-relate. In other words, to reach our true potential on what defines happiness and fulfillment, the wisdom accumulating within ourselves about who we are from our ‘Surviving Reality’ has to surface and bond with the menu of opportunities float- ing about in the world of ‘What If Reality.’

Carving Your Personal Sculpture

As we live day to day, it’s important that we guard against too much of our personal clay left in the hands of external agendas and strangers, you’ll end up with too much mud and too little sub- stance. You’ll also live outside the awareness of yourself. But, if you keep on top of yourself and translate your experiences into feelings, the hands of your spirit will mould and polish the clay of your uniqueness. Your thoughts become the wind and knowledge your sail.

Give yourself permission to be realistic and positive. Find a ‘park bench’ of your own where you can stop life’s merry-go-round to reflect and regain your perspective. Don’t bury or define yourself by one single endeavor, you are always a work in progress. Each endeavor is just a speck of re- flective gold as you pan for a happy and fulfilling life.

We are born as a creative and choice machine. Don’t try to qualify as anyone else but yourself. Your thoughts and history are becoming your credentials. If you have the ability to think - you have the ability to think big! The lyrics written by the late John Denver in his song ‘Sweet Surren- der’ say it best, “I don’t know what the future holds in store. I’m not sure where I’m going and not sure where I’ve been. There’s a spirit that guides me, my life is worth living I don’t need to see the end.”

It’s not just life experiences that matter; it’s where you’re headed that gives your life meaning. Raise above your Surviving Reality. Rent some quiet time in the world of ‘what if’ scenarios to get to know and listen to yourself and make a difference in your life. Take a chance to explore. Live to ride.

Contact John at: [email protected]

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