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AN EXPLORATION OF THE DATING ATTITUDES, BELIEFS AND BEHAVIORS OF SINGLE ARMY SOLDIERS AND THEIR PERCEIVED READINESS TO MARRY A Thesis Presented in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Science in the Graduate School of The Ohio State University By Morgan C. Van Epp, B.A. * * * * * The Ohio State University 2006 Master’s Examination Committee: Dr. Ted G. Futris, Adviser Dr. Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan Approved by Dr. Jerelyn Schultz ___________________________ Adviser Graduate Program in Human Development & Family Science ABSTRACT Variations in readiness to marry as a function of one’s demographic background, past relationship experiences, dating attitudes and beliefs and relationship behaviors has yet to be examined. Using data from a study designed to evaluate the effectiveness of a relationship education program for singles, this study explored these associations by evaluating 248 single Army soldier’s perceived readiness to marry their past dating partners. Analyses were conducted examining four readiness to marry groups including respondents who never felt ready to marry and were also conducted including only those respondents who felt ready to marry at some time. Overall, findings suggest that single soldiers tend to pace their relationships quickly and hold moderately constraining beliefs and attitudes toward mate selection. Specifically, single soldiers differed the most on how they behaved in their past relationships, while, overall, few statistically significant differences were found among the other variables of interest. These findings provide a foundation for future research to examine how dating behaviors more specifically affect readiness to marry and how behaviors may overtime influence one’s attitudes and beliefs toward mate selection. ii Dedicated to my mother, Shirley, my father, John, and my sister, Jessica iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I wish to thank my adviser, Ted Futris, for his editorial support, encouragement and his patience. I also would like to acknowledge his incredible and most helpful ability to think outside of the box regarding statistical presentation and analyses and for inspiring me to embrace the process of writing a thesis. I would also like to thank Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan and Jerelyn Schultz for serving on my committee and for providing me with their invaluable insights and suggestions. I would also like to thank Ron Thomas and Pete Frederich from the United States Army for making the research project that provided this data possible. Finally, I would like to thank my family who provided me with unconditional support and the motivation to persevere through my frustrated moments. iv VITA June 19, 1982………………… …………………Born – Medina, Ohio 2004…………………………………………….....B.A. Psychology, Miami University 2003-2004…………………………………..……Undergraduate Research Assistant Department of Psychology Miami University – Oxford, OH 2004-present………………………..……………Graduate Research Assistant Human Development & Family Science The Ohio State University FIELDS OF STUDY Major Field: Human Development and Family Science v TABLE OF CONTENTS Page Abstract…………………………………………………………………………………. ……ii Dedication…………………………………………………………………………………….iii Acknowledgments…………………………………………………………………………...iv Vita……………………………………………………………………………………………. v List of Tables…………………………………………………………………………………ix List of Figures………………………………………………………………………………... x Chapters: 1. Introduction………………………………………………………………………….. 1 The Stability of Marriage………………………………………………………. 5 The Impact of Divorce on Children and their Future Relationships……. …6 Challenges in Forming Relationships……………………………. ……7 At Risk Premarital Attitudes and Behaviors toward Marriage. ………8 Divorcee’s Future Relationships ……………………………………………...8 Predictors of Relationship Stability and Quality…………………………… 10 Length of Courtship and Age…………………………………………. 10 Attitudinal and Behavioral Factors…………………………………….11 Personality and Compatibility………………………………………….12 The Current Study……………………………………………………………. 15 2. Review of the Literature………………………………………………………….. 17 Attitudes and Beliefs About Mate Selection………………………….. ……17 Love in Relationships………………………………………………………… 18 Defining Love and Styles of Loving…………………………………...19 The Process of Falling in Love……………………………………….. 19 Early Bonding Experiences and Future Relationships…………….. 23 Intimacy and Close Relationships……………………………………. 25 Summary of Past Perspectives………………………………………. 26 The Relationship Attachment Model……………………………………….. 28 Feeling Known and Knowing About Your Partner………………….. 30 Family Background……………………………………30 The Conscience………………………………………. 31 Compatibility…………………………………………... 32 Past and Other Relationships……………………….. 33 Relationship Skills……………………………………. 34 The Process of Getting to Know a Partner………………………….. 35 Feeling Trusted and Trusting Your Partner………………………………... 37 Feeling Relied Upon and Relying Upon Your Partner……………………. 38 vi Feeling Your Partner is Committed and Feeling Committed to Your Partner…………………………………………………………. 39 Forming a Sexual/Physical Bond…………………………………………… 41 The Current Study ……………………………………………………………….. 42 Focus on Army Soldiers………………………………………………………….. 46 3. Methods……………………………………………………………………………. 47 Procedure…………………………………………………………………….. .47 Sample……………………………………………………………………….... 47 Measures……………………………………………………………………… 49 Dating Experiences……………………………………………………. 49 Attitudes and Beliefs…………………………………………………… 50 Relationship Behaviors……………………………………………….. .50 Readiness to Marry……………………………………………………. 52 Analysis………………………………………………………………………... 53 4. Results……………………………………………………………………………... 54 Demographic Characteristics……………………………………………….. 54 Demographics 4 Groups………………………………………………. 56 Demographics 3 Groups………………………………………………. 56 Dating Experiences…………………………………………………………... 57 Dating Experiences 4 Groups………………………………………… 57 Dating Experiences 3 Groups………………………………………… 60 Dating Attitudes and Beliefs…………………………………………………. 61 Dating Behaviors………………………………………………………………61 Dating Behaviors 4 Groups…………………………………………… 64 Getting to Know a Partner……………………………………. 64 Family Background……………………………………65 Interests and Personality…………………………….. 65 Relationship Skills……………………………………. 66 Past and Other Relationships……………………….. 66 Developing Trust in a Partner………………………………... 66 Developing Reliance on a Partner…………………………... 67 Developing Commitment to a Partner………………………. 68 Developing a Sexual Relationship with a Partner………. …68 Dating Behaviors 3 Groups…………………………………………… 69 Getting to Know a Partner……………………………………. 69 Family Background……………………………………70 Interests and Personality…………………………….. 70 Relationship Skills……………………………………. 71 Past and Other Relationships……………………….. 71 Developing Trust in a Partner………………………………... 71 Developing Reliance on a Partner…………………………... 72 Developing Commitment to a Partner………………………. 72 vii Developing a Sexual Relationship with a Partner…………. 73 5. Discussion…………………………………………………………………………. 74 Variations in Readiness to Marry by Demographics……………………… 74 Variations in Readiness to Marry as a Function of Relationship History.. 77 Variations in Readiness to Marry as a Function of Relationship Attitudes and Beliefs…………………………………………………… 78 Variations in Readiness to Marry as a Function of Dating Behaviors…... 79 Beliefs vs. Behaviors………………………………………………….. 80 Never Ready to Marry vs. Ready to Marry………………………….. 83 Limitations and Directions for Future Research……………………………84 Conclusion…………………………………………………………………….. 85 List of References…………………………………………………………………………. 88 Appendices: A. IDs with missing variables……………………………………………. 98 B. Mean (SD) and Frequencies of Timing of Dating Behaviors for Overall Sample (n=228)………………………………………………………… 100 C. Mean (SD) and Frequencies of Timing of Dating Behaviors for Never Readies…………………………………………………………………… 101 D. Mean (SD) and Frequencies of Timing of Dating Behaviors for Those Ready within 4 Months …………………………………………………. 102 E. Mean (SD) and Frequencies of Timing of Dating Behaviors for Those Ready within 5-12 months ……………………………………………... 103 F. Mean (SD) and Frequencies of Timing of Dating Behaviors for Those Ready after a Year ……………………………………………………… 104 viii LIST OF TABLES Table 2.1 John Lee’s Love Styles……………………………………………………………… 22 2.2 Sternberg’s Types of Love………………………………………………………….. 29 3.1 Demographic Characteristics of Program and Comparison Group Participants…………………………………………………………………… 48 3.2 Dating Behaviors Scale……………………………………………………………... 51 4.1 Demographics of the Readiness to Marry Groups……………………………….. 55 4.2 The Past Dating Experiences of the Readiness to Marry Groups……………… 58 4.3 Group Mean (SD) Scores on the Attitudes about Romance and Mate Selection Subscales…………………………………………………………... 62 4.4 Dating Behavior Means and Significance. ……………………………………….. 63 ix LIST OF FIGURES Figure 2.1 Reiss’s Wheel Theory of Love……………………………………………………… 20 2.2 The Relationship Attachment Model………………………………………………. 24 x CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION Love, dating, mating and marriage have long been a mystery and have thus generated massive amounts of research and literature (Berscheid, 1986; Merrill, 1949; Simpson, Campbell, & Burgess, 1953; Whyte, 1990). Throughout the decades there has been a common theme in the literature on these subjects: that courtship practices are different than those of the past and that marriages today are less stable than those in the past (Surra, 1990). In 1949, Merrill made statements about our society’s dating and mating practices that would still apply today. He stated that “Americans are a marrying people. They marry early and often…and the high divorce rate in this country is well known...Americans
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