RESERV IMICAIF VOLUME 74, NUMBER ) WWW.HURRICANE.MIAMI.EDU TUESDAY, APRIL 22,1997 in this issue Family blames UM lor Barnes' death The Barnes' family blames this Dec. I, 1969, and later modified condition of anonymity, said the as a result of this unequal protection • Lawsuit cites agreement between Coral Gables that agreement in February of 1977 allegations about the partnership from the police. UM police officers and UM, and the alleged lack of in order for Coral Gables to provide between UM and Coral Gables are are not as equipped to deal with lack of police police supervision in the area, for police protection to the University true. emergency situations, the lawsuit presence at UM the death of Barnes. area. "Everything the lawsuit alleges is alleges. Barnes and friend Timwanika The Bames lawsuit alleges that true," the officer said. "[The part­ "In fact, the police officers work­ By KELLY RUANE Lumpkins were beaten to death the agreement called for the nership] has existed because it ben­ ing for the University of Miami News Editor with a shotgun in the early morning University to "hire, maintain, pay, efits both partners [UM and Coral were paid at a lower pay rate and Citing a lack of campus security, hours of April 13, 1996. The direct, control, deploy, discipline GablesJ. The only ones losing here without benefits available to City of the family of slain University of University settled lawsuits in and supervise their own private are the UM officers and the stu­ Coral Gables police officers," the Miami football player Marlin December with the two families for police force." dents." suit said. Barnes said the University and the $1.9 million each. The contract, according to the The Bames family said because In a petition written last semester, Coral Gables Police are partly This lawsuit, filed by Charlie suit, is an "illegal delegation of the University is within the munici­ the UM officers seemed to fore­ responsible for Bames' death. Mae Postell, Barnes' mother, and municipal police power to a private pal boundaries of Coral Gables, shadow the Barnes family's com­ The lawsuit, filed in federal court, Miami attoiney John Leighton, entity." UM students and employees are plaint. alleges that the Coral Gables Police alleges that the CGPD does not pro "As a private university, the owed the same level of police pro­ Officers said they were not being Department improperly subcon­ tect the students, but instead relies University of Miami is not permit­ tection as Coral Gables residents. treated like real police officers, tracts police officers to provide on a partnership with UM for the ted by Florida Law to own, main­ The lawsuit alleges that because even though they were deputized by police protection at UM. University to have its own private tain, control, direct or operate a of the partnership, UM students, Coral Gables. XTREME GAMES HIT MIAMI This contract has allowed the police officers. police department or police force," employees and users are treated as The suit said the University's • Competitors came from far University to provide a minimum The Univei sity and the City of the suit said. lesser citizens. and wide to compete in this amount of protection for students. Coral Gables signed a contract on A police officer, speaking on the Bames' family said he was killed See BARNES • Page 2 weekend's ESPN2 Xtreme Games on South Beach. SPORTS, page 5 International Week comes to close

MISSING THE X-f/ifS? • Fox's #! hour long mys­ tery/drama has become an addictive weekly routine for many UM students. Are you an X-Files junkie? ACCENT, page 7 I.J. CAMA-LOBO / Hurricane Photographer CELEBRATION: Emerson Mompremier dances in front of the Haitian flag on the UC A WHOLE NEW WORLD Patio. • As science and technology theme days according to regions of the blossom to new heights, what • Week combines world. impact will such Students had a chance to go to the developments have on the culture, culinary Middle East, Asia, India, Europe, Latin world of tomorrow. delights for UM America, the Far East, the Caribbean and OPINION, page 10 Africa before I-Week came to a close. By JOSE DIAZ During the week, the student groups Hurricane Staff Writer involved presented ethnic dances and cos­ news briefs After a struggle for student support and a tumes on everything from African music to colorful array of cultures. International a Caribbean carnival with stilt performers. COMMENCEMENT PLANS Week at the University of Miami ended The weather affected student turnout, ANNOUNCED Saturday. organizers said. Commencement ceremonies Awards were given to student organiza­ Mavis Gyamfi, I-week chairperson, said for the University of Miami tions who participated at the Closing she thought the week was successful, will take place May 9 at 8:30 Ceremonies on Saturday night at the Hotel despite the weather. a.m. on the University Green, Sofitel. "Considering we had bad weather to the central lawn next to the The winners were: French Club, Most contend with, I think we were pretty suc­ Ashe Building and the Otto G. Original Display; Latin American Students cessful," Gyamfi said. "International Week Richter Library. This year's Association, Best Cultural Display; Indian is about sharing cultures." guest speaker is Garth C. Students Association, Most Outstanding Gyamfi said she hopes next year's Reeves, reporter, editor, Performance; African Students Union, International Week will be better. banker and publisher emeritus Most Original Performance; French Club, "Like anything, everything can always of 77ie Miami Times. He will Culinary Excellence; Filipino Students he better," Gyamfi said. "We always hope receive an honorary doctorate Association. Most Enthusiastic Preparation for bigger and better as the years progress." of journalism from UM. Also for 1-Week; Trinidad and Tobago Cultural Ariel Hurst, a freshman, tried many of Association, Best Embodiment of the I- receiving honorary doctorates the ethnic foods available to students on Week Theme; Filipino Students the University Center Patio on the different from the University this year Association, Most Outstanding will be: days. f. HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor Organization for 1-Week. • Denise Scott Brown, urban "I really enjoy ethnic food, but I love planner, doctorate in architec­ ETHNIC DANCE: Nathalee Dayl dances on the Patio with performers from Untouchable Throughout the week, many students ture Mocko lumhics for International Week's Caribbean Day. participated in activities and events on See WEEK • Page 2 • Sarah Caldwell, producer, conductor and founder of the Boston Opera Company, doc­ Faculty recognized for torate in music • William H. Gray III, presi­ Students bringing dent and chief executive offi­ cer of the United Negro excellence in teaching College Fund, doctorate in law • Arthur Komberg, Nobel lau­ • UM honors Teaching Award recipients ners of last year's awards. Cuba to UC Patio reate, doctorate in science were Maryann Barber, School Some of the materials that of Business, Computer the committee reviewed were tomorrow at 4 p.m. • Benjamin Spock, pediatri­ seven teachers • FEC's goal to To recognize what the Otto G. Richter cian and author of the Information; Shirley Dennis- letters of recommendation, Escoffier, School of Business, student evaluations, course Library has to offer to spread Cuban Common Sense Book of Baby this year educate University culture, there will be a reception on the and Child Care, doctorate in Accounting; Alan Goldman, syllabi and personal stale By SARAH GUARNACCIA 8th floor of the library on Thursday at 7 humane letters College of Arts and Sciences, ments written by the teachers. about culture Assistant News Editor Philosophy; Thomas Nolen, "They are looked at very p.m. • Robert Venturi, architect and By SARAH GUARNACCIA The library has full resources for founder of post-modernist The 1997 Excellence in College of Arts and Sciences, seriously. A love of teaching Assistant News Editor Teaching Awards were given Biology; Thomas Steinfatt, comes through, especially Cuban American sludies, and an architecture, doctorate in To further the University's quest for archives section complete with pictures, architecture. to seven different teachers School of Communication, through the personal state­ cultural awareness, the Federation of who have demonstrated hooks and other documents outlining the The individual schools will Speech; Linda Taylor, College ments," Giroux said. Cuban Students (FEC) will sponsor exceptional teaching at the Cuban expenence in the United States hold their own commence­ of Arts and Sciences, Most of the judging was "Three Days of Cuban Culture" from University of Miami. Members of FEC said they wani stu­ ment ceremonies throughout Anthropology; and Michelle done on an individual basis tomorrow until Friday. Regardless of their amount Wright, College of Arts and The eight judges were denls to leam about the various pieces the day as well. The yearly event is the result of a of literature, art and information ahout of years in the teaching field, Sciences, Foreign Languages. responsible for studying the 32 proclamation issued by the Dade County old and new professors were Teachers were nominated packets that consisted of all Cuba that the library has in its archives. Commission, which said Dade is in Emilio Gonzalez, a UM professor in today's weather recognized for (heir inspiring for the distinguished award the material the teacher's sub­ observe three days in April during and creative teaching. either by the dean of their mitted. the political science department, will which Cuban culture is to be celebrated spe.ik at Thursday's event. PARTLY CLOUDY "It's ahout being there for schcxil, colleagues or sludents. The committee then nar­ "It is understood year after year that the students usually beyond Once a teacher is nominat­ rowed the list down to the top Friday's activities, which will take Expect conditions to remain we will educate people of what Cuban the; classroom, working with ed, il is by that teacher's dis seven teachers. place on the UC Patio, will focus on the much the same, with a gener.il culture is," said Raiza Garcia, chairper­ students outside of classes and cretion that they follow From the committee's lesiival aspect of the Cuban culture. It warming trend to continue. son lor the event and member of lie the openness to student's through with the requirements responses, Giroux created a will include the music of radio station El Today will be partly cloudy The event will begin with speaker ideas," said Valerie Manno- of the award. short list. Sol, 98.3 FM. with highs in the upper 80s. Jose Cancela, president of the Spanish- Giroux, chair of the Thirty-two nominated teach­ "We [then] had a meeting The festival will also include native Winds will be out of the south­ language television network Telemundo. dances, art exhibits and typical and tra- Excellence in Teaching com­ ers submitted their qualifica­ and discussed each of the can Cancela will be speaking at the west at 10 to 15 m.p.h. in i ttee. tions to a panel of eight University Center International Lounge See CUBAN • Page 2 —National Weathet Sen it • The 1997 Excellence in judges, which included win­ See AWARDS • Page 2

Cvan Magenta lll.li K f V PAGt 2 • THt .ll IHI If KM! WE • TUESDAY, APRIL 22,1997 eaiiv, calendar LJ UM students learn about • ALTERNATIVE I SPRINO tion, call Valissa at 689-5328. BREAK: ASB executive commit­ • BAPTIST STUDENT UNION: tee applications are now available Don't miss the end of the semester in the Volunteer Services Center banquet with free food, fellowship (UC 224) and are due back on and fun! Kick off the summer world poverty, hunge^ Fridav. For more information, call right. For more information, call BUzabSk al 284-GIVE. Girard at 667-1066. • MINORITY ASSOCIATION • STEP/LINK 'Global OF PRE-HEALTH STUDENTS: To post your events in our The Minority Association of Pre- Dinner' successful Health students will be having campus calendar, stop by our their annual recognition banquet office in University Center, Rm. 221. organizers say on Friday at the Holiday Inn by Also visit Jhe Hurricane Online for UM at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $8. additional postings By VANESSA RODRIGUEZ Dress is formal. For more informa­ Hurricane Staff Writer Studenls learned whal it meant to live in devel­ oping countries Thursday night at the Rock. Price leaving UM The Global Dinner, sponsored by LINK and STEP for World Hunger Days, took place at the Rock to educate students about life in underde­ veloped countries. to become mayor Cecil Williams, an electrical engineering stu­ Graduation Excellence." dent, said, "The Global Dinner gave you a basis • Anna Price "I finally got that statement al the for comparison between developed and underde­ bottom," she said. "I've been fight­ veloped countries that you normally would not elected South ing for that statement." have." Her entire life is focused around Williams said the Global Dinner gave him a Miami mayor, making statements, or rather help­ different outlook on poverty. ing those with a timid voice make "This was our goal," said Melissa Rennella, will leave UM Global Dinner coordinator, who said she feels the statements. F. HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor event was successful in expanding students' By LEE NESSEL When Price is not leading a City WHATS ON THE MENU?: Senior Laura Sanchez, Sophmore Alex Llossas, Director of Volunteer Services, Opinion Editor of South Miami Commission meet­ knowledge of hunger throughout the world. and Chapeline Tom Cordaro were selected to be in "First World" and enjoy all of its immenities unlike Lula Benjamin held the Bible as ing or teaching a class at the As students arrived, they were asked to pick a the third world to the rear and left and the second to the back right her daughter, UM professor Anna University, she spends her time at bean out of a bag. The bean had a small descrip­ Price, rested her right hand upon it, church. tion of what a typical person's life-style would be Students who chose developed countries were event to speak on the hunger issues in South fed chicken, and had excellent service. The stu­ Florida. and took the oath of office as mayor Price is a minister in training for in a specific country. dents who chose underdeveloped nations were of the City of South Miami on the New Thought Church, a denom­ This would determine how the students' Mason stressed the issue of government cut­ served poorly. Wednesday, April 9. ination of practical Christianity. evening would go. backs and how they will affect South Florida in The 25 students who attended matched the per­ regard to the many immigrants who live in "I tell people I can't control my One can draw a parallel between Williams picked a cattle herder from Algeria. centages ofthe world, with 15 percent represent­ Miami. mother, and it's true." •Price said in the church's philosophy of unity He said the people who chose the developing ing first-world countries, 25 percent second- "The students who attended the dinner had her first speech as mayor. and the wide appeal of Price to the countries would eat white rice with no utensils on world and 60 percent third-world. never been involved with World Hunger Days, so It is evident that Ihe energy which community. a bamboo leaf. Jeff Mason, a UM alumnus who works at it was interesting to see how they reacted," said pervades Price's life endeavors and "A new thought is a term used to To drink, they were given water with a splash Camillus House in downtown Miami, came to the Erin Jacques, organizer of World Hunger Day. the manner in which she interacts cover a wide range of approaches to of iced tea to give the illusion that it was dirty. with her community comes from life, the world and its problems," her mother. Price explained. How apropos that Ms. Lula Belle Benjamin, as she is intent on committing herself Price so affectionately refers to her to becoming a minister and carrying mother, is 73. At the South Miami out such a philosophy. Debate team closes season Sheraton Four Points post-election Price will take leave from UM, celebration. Price was busy greeting complete her ministerial training • Season ends break into the elimination round by ment. debaters. supporters, while Benjamin talked and work with her church full-time losing to a team from Wake Forrest Prieto and Mitchell won four out At the largest tournament of the about her next workout at Spa Lady. by January of 1999. University. of eight rounds, but did not advance. year, the Great Salt Lake with tournament The team ranked 26th out of 145 Tournament hosted by the While later thanking her mother Currently, she is director of com­ Prieto represented the Southeast varsity debate teams. University of Utah, Anderson and as her first order of mayoral busi­ munity missions for the church successes region as an elected student repre­ Wulkan compiled a 7-1 preliminary ness. Price told the crowded City which includes a prison ministry, a "Their dedication to debate, dis­ sentative to the CEDA executive round record and advanced to the Hall chambers of politicians, press, credit union, membership and evan­ By PUJA SATIANI played by their achievements, board at the competition. semifinals. citizens ofthe City of South Miami, gelism. Hurricane Staff Writer placed them among the elite in Mitchell received an award for and colleagues and friends from the national debate competition," said being one of 20 of the Academic At the Southeast regional tourna­ Prior to being elected for the The University of Miami debate I niversity of Miami, her church David Steinberg, director of the UM All-American Debate Team, honor­ ment, Prieto was named fifth speak­ unexpired term of the recently team, after over 20 years of trying, and the community that they had no Debate Team. ing students who excel in both er and Paulose was named fourth deceased Tom Cunningham, she qualified for the National Debate idea how special her mother is The University team's final com­ debate and academics. individual speaker at the junior var­ said. Tn all likelihood my slogan Tournament this year. petition of the 1996-97 year was the sity level. "She never said to me that there will be: Anna Price—she's a person Though previous attempts failed, Since the award was established, Cross Examination Debate *M any _^^__^_—^_^_ not a politician." the determination of the team final­ a UM student has earned this recog­ "Participating in tournaments limits ly gained them a place at the nation­ Association (CEDA) National nition each year. allows me to improve my debating Her close friendship with Mayor lion, "In this busy al tournament, and helped members Championship tournament hosted "The activity of debate is an skills and helps me realize the high Cunningham was one of the main Price said environment, excel at several other tournaments by Wichita State University on honor to participate in, allowing me level of competition in the reasons she chose to run. this spring. March 27-31. to not only sharpen my debate Southeast region," Prieto said. •There's wnaf would be "When he died on a Saturday book. The . . . The UM team, composed of The teams of Anderson and skills, but also tu meet students from Tlie UM debate leam, throughout evening and I talked to his sister on r, i, Mine draining to me Geoff Anderson and Larry Wulkan, Wulkan, along with the team of various regions of the country," the fall and spring semesters, has Sunday, one of the last things he qualified for the national tourna­ Debbie Prieto and Yari Mitchell, Mitchell said. experienced low membership. The Prophecy, would be was talking about was having to that says . . ment by placing as one of the top participated in this tournament. Other than these two successful team sreks to recruit members for come back to South Miami and get you invigorating to teams at the NDT regional qualifier As a team, Anderson and Wulkan tournaments, the UM debate team the upcoming year of competition. me elected." choose her." hosted by the University of Georgia advanced to round 32 out of a total has participated in other tourna­ "The UM debate students have your par Her respect for Cunningham and on March 1. of 220 teams, losing to a team from ments, such as the California State been wonderfully successful, and the fact that it was only a two-year ents I BARBARA At NDT, Anderson and Wulkan the University of Missouri. University debate tournament, at the experiences they have gained remaining term drove her to enter realize I KNIGHTON, compiled a record of four wins and Anderson was named one of the top which Wulkan and Anderson ranked through participation are invalu­ the race. Cho* my p . four losses, narrowly missing a 20 out of 440 debaters in the tourna­ sixth and seventh in a field of 150 able," Steinberg said. mother tor Price said even after years of her ten­ supporter being approached to run for office, derness, — she had not considered entering the political arena until three people Family alleges University to UM closes but also something else people don't convinced her to run for the vacant know—this is the source of Commission seat Cunningham left 'I -Week' strength. Thai's what I saw. When in order to become mayor in 1996. blame in murder of Barnes limes were hard, Lula Belle Smith She originally refused lhe idea, From WEEK • Page I Bcniamin was there, always with but followed through with her inter­ From BARNES » Page 1 Despite this, the suit alleges the ment, citing a recent rash of break- me and always supporting me." est in the community issues of University collected federal funds ins as an example. Indian food the best," Hurst said. police force operated separately and to provide protection for the stu­ "If you have a robliery in Coral Price brings a unique and refresh­ youth and empowerment. Students were welcome to try or independently from the CGPD, in dents. Gables, they (CGPD] immediately ing energy to the office of mayor of Price has a special twinkle in her buy different treats. International "areas including, but not limited to "All resident students are listed start a task force of plain-clothes South Miami. eye when she encounters small chil­ patrol assignments, disciplinary for federal state funding, but police officers," the officer said. souvenirs, T-shirts, jewelry and "She's always been that way. She dren. She teased youths at her polit­ actions, equipment assignments, officers never see a cent," the officer The officer said that does not hap­ other goods were available to stu­ wears many hats," Benjamin said. ical gatherings about becoming luture mayors. human resources, deployment and said. pen at the University of Miami. dents, while music filled the Patio "I'm very proud of her; she's been weapons assignments." thai way since she's two years old." Having been involved with youth The Bames family is also alleging "How many things have we had on the different days. The officers who signed the peti­ that before Barnes and Lumpkins stolen from the Apartment Area?" Pnee is an assistant provost and her whole life, she always speaks of Although organizers said last tion in November asked CGPD to were murdered, there had been the officer said. 'There's no task assistant professor at the School of the potential and the power of peo­ year's participation was higher, I- give them the necessary weapons other crimes in or around the force here." Education. ple, of human capital. week did represent the different Speaking to supporters the night they needed to be able to properly Apartment Area. The officer said he is worried Pnee is also the supervisor of the prutect the campus, because Ihey cultures on campus. Supplemental Instruction Program of her oath, she said she followed The CGPD and the University did because students have a false sense felt they were not properly armed. "It is all about expression, I and previously worked as an asso­ the vision of our nation's first lady. nothing to provide police protec­ of security on a dangerous campus. The officers who wrote the peti­ ciate athletic director for Academic- "When Hillary Clinton cited the tion, training or supervision .around "Students have the idea that the think," said Mike Danes, who tion said they did not even have fire Support in the Athletic Department. African proverb of 'it takes a village that area, the suit said. campus is Candyland," the officer stopped by the Patio to see differ­ extinguishers in their ears. Her list of honors, awards, civic to raise a child,' I leiok at the City of The officer agrees with this state­ said. "It's not." ent events during the week. activities, public service and profes­ South Miami in thai same way," sional involvements is longer than Price said. "We can be a model city most family's credentials com­ for all of Dade County, for the state UM recognizes its bined. and for, I think, the United States." FEC celebrates "She is a role model for kids, it Price addressed her new city doesn't matter color—red, green, resourcefully proposing an integra­ excellent teachers blue, it doesn't matter," said tion of her various commitments. Benjamin of her daughter. "The University has courses and "It encourages nol only those who Cuban heritage Price started at the University in programs that require internships," From AWARDS * Page 1 are awarded," Giroux said. 1973 as a part-time math tutor in Price said. "I would like to see our "Some of us weren't bom in didates. Throughout the consensus, "We have a great number of real­ From CUBAN •» Page 1 Upward Bound—a national pro­ marketing task (ence assign an Cuba, but we can still maintain our we came up with the award," ly excellent teachers." gram designed to motivate under­ intern from either communication culture," Garcia said. Giroux said. Giroux said good teaching is also ditional Cuban food such as achieving high school students go or marketing and I understand that lechon, Cuban-style pork, and rice Garcia said she hopes non- on to college and graduate Ihe business schoeii has an absolute­ The committee also observed the vital to the procurement of tenure. Cuban sludenls will leave with a teachers in the classroom setting. Teachers can never stop improv­ and black beans Becoming director of the pro­ ly fantastic internship program.'' better understanding of Cuban cul­ "We also talked lo students. ing their skills, even if they have lor |4, students will be able to gram in the same year, she wrote a Price said she will be: content purchase a drink and a plate of ture. "I hope they will cross the [They] tell us what's good and whal been recognized with lhe nationally-recognized proposal that making a difference in her commit­ authentic Cuban food. bridge and become more educat­ could be improved," Girouz said. Excellence in Teaching award, said led to proposal consulting and IS ted spirituality. ed," Garcia said. Wright was surprised to receive Giroux. There will also be a cigar maker years of service. Barbara Knighton, who support­ on hand lo demonstrate the rolling Despite the name, FEC does nol this award after only teaching for a To help good teachers become Immediately after earning her ed Price despite not being a resident technique used in manufacturing only consist of Cuban students, total of four years. excellent teachers, Gireiux said the doctorate in the administration of of South Miami, said Price is a role cigars. said Garcia. "lis gratifying. I work very hard Instructional Advancement Center higher education from UM in 1978, model for all. "We have Jewish Americans, at whal I do," Wright said. Garcia said she hopes that by the she was recruited by the Athletic has made sludenl evaluations avail­ African-Americans, Muslims, etc "In this busy environment, what The Excellence in Teaching end of this celebration, the person­ Director for her expertise in acade­ able to all faculty. It is not just restricted to Cubans," would be draining to me, would be awards were broadened lasl year by alities of Cubans will be evident to mic support services "Very often, faculty will come to (iateia said. invigorating to her. She feeds off of recognizing two teachers Ireim lhe lhe enlire University. Alter helping create a nationally us and say they wani to improve (iarcia said she will not be it," Knighton said Graduale School faculty. "People don't really see the recognized Academic Support pro­ their teaching No one has lo know nsiticted by the tact she cannot Price said she is proud of every According to Giroux, lhe award whole aspect of us," she said. "We gram and becoming assistant athlet­ they are coming in," Giroux said. lake ihe entire University to Cuba one of her 54 years, and is excited makes il clear that teachers who are very upbeat, we enjoy our ic dneelor. she split her time and Giroux said the awards are given in order to teach them about her abeiui starting a new life in her polit­ work hard and teach well at UM are drums. We love to have a greal became assistant provost. to recognize Ihose teachers trying to country. ical career. recognized. tune " Price proudly points out a small make a difference. Regardless if a Cuban student is Instead, she said is pleased to "In lerms of being mayor," she Yet, while these seven teachers caption on the bottom ofthe Miami Nc-cemd- or third-generaiion, bring Cuba to ihe University. said, "I'm one. I was jusi born. were awarded for their good work in "|Allheiugh| seune are looking to football poster hanging in her all Cubans will be reminded of "We can spread our culture even "So many lives out here lo live, the leaching field, olhc'i leae'hers are improve and they want their deans oil ice: "Five Straight Years of where they come from, Garcia though we don't have our country," it's just willing to get out of our encouraged tei continue excelling as lo know li is saying, 'I care about College Football Association saul (iarcia s.ml comfort zone to live them." teachers, teaching, "Giroux s.nel TUESDAY, APRIL, 22 1997 * THE Hi IHI Hi HUH HE • PAGE 3. UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI LOCATION 6701 BIRD RD 669-8800 MONDAY • THURSDAY: 11AM-1AM FRIDAY & SATURDAY: 11AM-2AM SUNDAY: 11 AM-12:30PM Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. 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r \ HURRICANE WARNING The University of Miami baseball team has won eight Tiomiiiiiiiiiiim: of its nine games versus QTUESDAY, APRIL 22,1997 teams in the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC).

sports briefs UM nukes Duke with home run barrage UM DIVERS FINISH WELL IN NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS 9-5, Saturday night. University of Miami junior • German The Devils took a 4-0 lead in the Doris Glenn Easterly captured first inning after second baseman the women's 3-meter champi­ Alvarez breaks Frankie Chiou hit a grand slam. onships at the U.S. Spring Shortstop Vaughn Schill led off National Diving game open in the inning with a single, followed Championships at Auburn with walks by Becker and catcher University in Auburn, Ala. seventh with Ed Conrey. With the bases loaded, Easterly claimed the title Chiou took Darin Spassoff's pitch with 493.77 points and fin­ two-run double over the wall in left-center. ished fifth in the 1 -meter com­ By JONATHAN SANTUCCI The Hurricanes were held score­ petition. Freshman Janel Benda less until the bottom of the third, Assistant Sports Editor finished 20th in the 3-meter when catcher Mike Lopez-Cao was The Miami Hurricanes baseball diving event. knocked in on a sacrifice fly by team continued its domination of For the men's team, juniors Hill. Tyce Routson and Bryan Atlantic Coast Conference oppo­ nents by sweeping the Duke Blue Miami tied the game in the fifth Gillooly placed third and fifth, inning. With two outs, Lopez-Cao respectively, in the 10-meter Devils in a three-game series this weekend at Mark Light Stadium. hit a home run. Shortstop Brad platform final. Brewer and Grimmett followed with The Canes have now taken eight Routson finished with singles. Hill knocked in Brewer and of nine games against teams in the 568.80 points in the platform Grimmett with a double and scored ACC and earlier placed fifth in the after Michaels hit a double—tying Head coach Jim Morris said that 3-meter competition. Gillooly, the game, 5-5. who placed fourth in both the Miami received strong starting and relief pitching over the weekend. Miami took the lead in the seventh 1 - and 3-meter events, totaled when Walker walked with the bases "I thought we pitched very well 553.59 points in the platform. loaded. Pinch hitter German Alvarez overall. The one inning we gave up lunior Chris Mantilla fin­ doubled down the third baseline four runs, but overall our pitchers ished eighth in the platform scoring two rans. ARMANDO BONICHE / Editor in Chief pitched well," said Morris. "The event with 526.44 points. HIT ME HARDER: Hurricane third baseman Pat Burrell (11) makes solid contact with the ball during bullpen's starting to come together "German came in and got a big hit and I think that's very important." and we were able to relax. When we Sunday's game. Burrell also smacked his 16th home run ofthe year in the game. relax, it allows us to hit and really NFL'S FIRST ROUND DRAFT On Sunday, Miami crushed Duke, CLAIMS THREE FROM MIAMI score some runs," said Morris. it 4-2, after center fielder Adam 17-1. Miami got strong starting Geis, who led off the inning with a Three players from the Relief pitcher Eddy Reyes was pitching from Alex Santos, allowing double, was knocked in on first University of Miami football credited with the win, pitching one one mn in six innings and seven baseman John team were drafted in the first and a third innings, allowing just strikeouts Benik's single. round of this year's National two hits and striking out four. Tlie Hurricanes opened the scor­ In the bot­ Football league draft in New ing in the first inning on a single by Friday night, Miami defeated York City over the weekend. Duke 6-2. Senior J.D. Arteaga tom of the sev­ Aubrey Huff, which scored right enth, Miami Wide receiver , pitched seven strong innings, allow­ fielder Jason Michaels. put the game who elected to bypass his ing two runs on seven hits and strik­ The Canes blew the game open in away after senior year, was the second ing out five batters. the sixth inning when they scored Burrell hit a receiver taken in the draft, The Hurncanes opened the scor­ seven runs. two run shot selected by the Miami ing in the first inning. Grimmett led First baseman Aubrey Huff tripled over the center Dolphins with the 15th pick. off with a single and then stole sec­ to lead off the inning, and was field wall. Defensive end Kenard Lang ond base. Michaels then doubled, FLORIDA ATLANTIC knocked in on a double by designat­ In the series, was selected 17th overall by driving in Grimmett. Mark Light Stadium ed hitter German Alvarez. Grimmett the Washington Redskins. Lang Miami struck again in the second Wed., 7:00 p.m. Alvarez scored on a double by extended his also chose to leave school a inning when first baseman Lale Brewer, followed by a single from hitting streak Radio: WVUM 90S FM year early to enter the draft. Esquivel singled and was later center fielder Ryan Grimmett. to 20 games Senior , also a knocked in on shortstop Oscar Second baseman Bobby Hill and has racked up 43 steals on the defensive end, was selected Cartaya's single. knocked in Brewer and Grimmett on season. 18th by the Houston Oilers. a single. Michaels cleared the bases Duke scored their first run in the "He's got to set the table for our This draft marked the first with a home ran. fourth inning on a home ranb y third baseman Jeff Becker, but the Canes offense," Morris said of Grimmett. time since 1987 that three Third baseman Pat Burrell countered in the sixth inning, scor­ "It's hard for us to win if we don't players from Miami were increased the lead to 10-1 by hitting ing a pair of rans. Esquivel led off have a leadoff hitter who makes selected in the first round. a home run over the left-field wall. the inning with a home run to left- things happen. He's been playing Other players selected in the Miami hit four homeruns on the very well." draft were: Safety Tremain center and designated hitter Mark afternoon coming from Brewer, With the sweep, the Hurricanes' Mack, in the fourth round by Walker scored on a Grimmett single. Burrell, Jacomino and Michaels. record improves to 32-13 on the sea­ ARMANDO BONICHE / Editor in Chief the Cincinnati Bengals; defen­ In the top of the sevenlh inning, The Canes came back from a four- son. They look to extend their streak HEATER: Starting pitcher Alex Santos (44), worked a solid six innings sive back Marcus Wimberly, in Duke closed the lead to two, making run deficit to beat the Blue Devils, tomorrow against Florida Atlantic. in Miami's 17-1 win over Duke on Sunday. Santos is now 7-1 this year. the fifth round by the Atlanta Falcons; and linebacker , in the fifth round by Washington. Wide receiver Arteaga Tony Gaiter, in the sixth round by the New England Patriots; WVUM Sports breaks new waves and defensive back Carlos lones, in the seventh round by • Campus radio station back on the Seattle' Seahawks. breaks new ground during HURRICANES SOCCER TEAM track TAKES TOUGH LOSS 1996-97 athletic seasons The UM soccer club lost, 3- By JEFF MUDDELL • Improvements 2, on sunday to the Miami Hurricane Sports Writer Islanders at Hallendale High. Last August, WVUM Sports Director Jason have spelled disaster Seniors Colin Seaman and HURO Galeano each scored Solodkin knew his department was going to do for opponents goals for Miami. Friday's great things this year. mak h was canceled because But, he never would have guessed that, in By BRYAN DOLGIN the referee did not show up for January, he would be traveling to Honolulu, Hurricane Sports Writer the game reading baseball pre-game notes on the beach­ J.D. The Canes record this season es of Waikiki and broadcasting live from the These initials are synonymous in the Gold Coast League is University of Hawaii. with the success of the University of 12-6-5. "We've come a long way, both geographical­ Miami Hurricanes baseball team ly speaking, and in terms of coverage," said over the past four seasons. The senior pitcher. J.D. i\rteaga, BEACH VOLLEYBALL CLINK Solodkin. "lt was a treat and a reward for a lot of hard is in his final campaign in the HOSTED BY JOSE L0I0LA orange and green. work that we've put into the program." On Thursday, April 24, from His success continued on Friday Consider this amazing fact: WVUM Radio 5 p.m.- 7 p.m. the No. 1 beach night. He won the first of the three volleyball player, Jose Loiola, was the only broadcasting outlet sending sig­ J.J. CAMA-LOBO / Hurricane Photographer game set against Duke. will be hosting a clinic at nals of the game back to the mainland of the PLAY BY PLAY: Assistant Sports Director Bryan Dolgin calls Sunday's baseball game for Arteaga pitched seven innings Penrod's in Miami. Other top United States and gave up seven hits, two runs and WVUM, 90.5 FM. This year, WVUM will call every game during the Hurricanes' season. AVP (Association of Volleyball No, this was not your run-of-the-mill college struck out five Professionals) players will also baseball game, either. Blue Devils. be on hand for the clinic. The This was the First Pitch Classic, the firstcol ­ "It's difficult being a not-for-profit station Mark Light Stadium. The numbers cost to participate is $20 per lege baseball game of the 1997 season, pitting said Dolgin. "With baseball, you can get up close and read that he person and is open to the pub­ the almost-defending national champion Miami "Businesses ——————— personal—we're at every game and we're very had a good lic. For more information call Hurncanes against the Hawaii Rainbows. want informa­ 'We just visible in the stadium," said Solodkin. outing, but... 932-3665. "It was one of the most remarkable things I tion on ratings This year's big pitch to their listeners "1 think this have ever had the chance to do," said Randy and listeners nevef gdVe involved WVUM Sports T-shirts. Adorned with one I had to Wehofer, assistant sports director. when they want Wehofer's now-patented "Get out of my yard" work the hard­ this week's sports home run call, the shirts have been given away est for. I didn't This has been a year of firsts for WVUM advertising We Up. We Were ARTEAGA WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23 Sports. just don't have .• -. _-J during trivia contests and are now on sale at All have very good The staff broadcast every football game, Sports. stuff tonight Baseball vs. Florida Atlantic that information 3S ettlVe t3/7< home and away, for the first time. "We decided we wanted to do something to [Friday] and I had to battle for seven 7 p.m., Mark Light as a studeni sta­ determined Add a bowl game, the men's and women's tion." remind people of WVUM Sports and the fact innings." W Track @ Penn Relays basketball Big East Tournament, every baseball "We just that we're the only station broadcasting every The victory was his seventh of the and we got season. This performance moved All Day, Philadelphia game, and countless men's and women's bas­ never gave up. game," said Wehofer. him closer to achieving several ketball games to that list, and you've got a big we were tne funding "It's really nice to see our shirts in the year for WVUM broadcasting. stands." Hurricane career pitching records THURSDAY, APRIL 24 assertive and Y „ Arteaga finds himself two starts, "It's a credit to all the dedication and hard The three senior staffers of WVUM, M Track @ Penn Relays determined and We needed, three victories and 47.2 innings work we've put in since early last year," *>aid Solodkin, Dolgin and Wehofer, will be graduat­ All Day, Philadelphia we got the fund- away from tying records in these ing in May. Bryan Dolgin. assistant sports director. "We ing we needed," BRYAN DOLGIN. three categories W Track @ Penn Relays said Dolgin. , . . Junior Matt Greenstein will lake over as knew last summer that we would have to dei a There is at least tour starts kit in Ml Day, Philadelphia For the 15 assistant sports sports director. He is already looking forward lot of fund-raising and planning to cover all the regular season to accomplish these events." •-tall members director 10 next year. FRIDAY, APRIL 25 these feats, which are more than an The success hasn't come without a price. of WVUM "We have some behind the scenes improve­ individual effort. Baseball vs. Coastal Carolina WVUM has received lots of support from the Sports, the true ments to make—newer equipment, more plan­ "I think the greal thing, and I 7 p.m., Mark Light UM athletic department and several local busi­ enjoyment of broadcasting conies when they ning and such," said Greenstein. thank God for it every day, is that are able to interact with their listeners. W Track @ Penn Relays nesses "We also want to broadcast the UM-FSU every time I move up into the record "It's always a treat when we are able to do All Day, Philadelphia "We were responsible for raising all the road game for the first time ever. But, the beHiks I am helping the team out," funds necessary," said Solodkin. "This year we one-on-one with our loyal listeners," said seniors will leave some big shoes lo till." said Arteaga. "Especially when I M Track @ Penn Relays tailed more than $10,000 from the support of Solodkin. "We feel we can provide a service to WVUM's next broadcast will be Wednesday win, the team wins and that is some All Day, Philadelphia local businesses, as well as donations from our them and entertain them at the same time." evening al 7 p.m. when the Canes take on thing I am real grateful for. lt is nol supporters" And there is no better place to interact than at Florida Atlantic at Mark Light Stadium. M- Men's; W- Women's See ARTEAGA • Page 5 ruESMr.jr>PEU».i«/ .THI Hill lllllllll lit > PAGES Men's tennis wins Big SPORTS TAKEN TO THE NEXT LEVEL East Championships "We have young players, but they have • Coach Rodney played internationally and at the highest Harmon named Big level," Harmon said. To get to the finals, the second-seeded East Coach of the Year Hurricanes defeated third-seeded frovidence, 4-0, in the semifinals round on Saturday. By MICHELLE YEE Notre Dame swept fourth-seeded Rutgers, 4- Sports Editor 0, on their way to the finals. After a stormy week, the University of The Hurncanes were helped with strong Miami men's tennis team came out on a sun- play from freshmen Russell, Ivan Rodrigo and kissed weekend lo win the Big East Tennis Roberto Suarez. Championships. "We weren't healthy. Suarez had knee The Championships, hosted by Miami, surgery in the middle of February. He was began on Thursday and finished with the title gone when we were trying to move up in the match on Sunday morning at the Neil Schiff rankings," said Harmon. "He clinched the Tennis Center. match for us today. So far prospects for Other Big East matches were held at the regionals look good." Crandon Park Tennis Center in Key Biscayne. Russell is currently the No. 6 player in the The Hurricanes beat the No. 1-ranked team nation and Rodrigo is No. 28 in the Rolex in the Big East, the Collegiate Rankings. University of Notre "Anytime you have a Michael Russell and Dame Fighting Irish "/ think it Ivan Rodrigo on the team, we have a tough in finals action, 4-1. one and two at the top," said Harmon. "They "I wasn't sure we will help us are the hardest workers on the court; they set would win, we lost the tone for the rest of the team." the doubles point, confidence In the second round, Miami also beat no. we had to win four seven West Virginia, 4-0 on Friday. wise." Going into the tournament, Notre Dame singles," said fresh­ F. HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor man Michael was ranked 11th in the nation, while the MICHAEL RUSSELL, RIDING THE HALF-PIPE: Elmer Pillon from Toronto competed in the skateboarding competition during this year's ESPN2 Russell. Hurricanes were ranked 33rd. UM tennis player Xtreme Games on South Beach. "We haven't won "The team played really well because they four singles in a row [Notre Dame] were ranked higher. It's our all season. A couple of guys played their best biggest win of the year," said Russell. "I think matches of the year." it will help us confidencewise." An added bonus for the men's tennis pro­ Captain looks to team for help This was also the second consecutive year gram was the Big East Coach of the Year that Miami and Notre Dame have played each From ARTEAGA * Page 4 "He has been more a father figure to me Arteaga has become a significant element other in the championship finals. Last year, award that Harmon won. It was the second than a coach. I owe everything lhat I have in postseason play, as well. He is 3-0 in the Fighting Irish came out on top. time in as many years that Harmon was hon­ an individual thing, it's a team thing." got, to him," said Arteaga. "He has taught regional play and 2-1 in the College World "For us, it was a chance to realize the poten­ ored. Arteaga has been the symbol of consis­ me a lot about life as well as pitching and I Series. Arteaga has progressed over the tial I felt we had, but weren't able to realize "It's weird because for a while I felt I was a tency and improvement throughout his think that is important." years and so have the Hurricanes as a team. it," said Miami tennis head coach Rodney bad coach because we had good talent, but we career. In addition to the victory over Duke this He has pitched the team to fifth-, third- and Harmon. weren't winning," said Harmon. Each season, his victory total has gone weekend, Arteaga has posted victories this second-place finishes in the CWS. "We have lost in close matches against the "It was definitely difficult for us to get up, from nine to 11 to 12. This year, season over a couple of highly-ranked In addition, Aneaga has been named to top 10 to 15 teams where we had a chance to going." Arteaga started the season 0-2, but has teams. Florida State and Georgia Tech. several All-American teams throughout his win, it's vindication for us." Even though Miami had a chance to host bounced back by winning seven of his last "The biggest key that J.D. does is keep career and was a preseason second-team The Hurricanes lost their first doubles such a major event, not many fans came out to eight outings. [opponents] off balance because he can All-American selection this season. match against Notre Dame, but stepped up watch the matches. "This is the best pitching I have done in throw so many pitches for strikes," said "Everything I have accomplished, I have and won four straight singles to capture the "I wish we could have more people from my four years. My walks (22) are down and Collazo. "Sometimes when they are look­ worked really hard for, I have done the win. the UM community to come out and support ERA (2.91) is down." ing for a breaking ball he throws them a most I can with the little I have," said "It's a confidence booster for us going into us," Harmon said. "It's difficult with so many Arteaga credits the development of his fastball or when they are expecting a fast­ Arteaga. regionals. It'll move us up in the rankings." options." pitching skills to Hurricanes pitching coach ball, he throws them a breaking ball." Arteaga has been a catalyst for the said Harmon. Next up for the Hurricanes is a match Lazaro Collazo. Arteaga's veteran leadership is invaluable Hurricanes success. He takes his 7-3 record The win was more impressive considering against Louisiana State L'niversity on Collazo works with the Hurricane ace as for this team. He was named the co-captain, and 69 strikeouts to lhe mound, once again, that seven out of the 10 members of the Saturday in Baton Rouge. La., and the NCAA well as the other pitchers between starts and along with fellow senior and center fielder on Friday night in the lirst of a three game Hurricanes are freshmen. Regional Championships in May. assists them in their improvement. Ryan Grimmett. for the 1997 season. sel against Coastal Carolina. Women's tennis lose to Fighting Irish, 4-0 The tournament was played the best out Mountaineers Christina Walker, 6-1,6-1 at "I was really surprised and very hon­ • Senior Caroline of seven. number one singles, while Nassi beat West ored," said Hora. "I forgot there was lhat In the doubles match, freshmen Selin Virginia's Jodi Firestone, 6-3, 6-0. award. I was really proud 1 got it. 1 didn't Hora wins Big East Nassi and Meredith Laughlin lost, 8-4, Hora also won her first match on Friday expect it at all." Most Outstanding while Miami lost all of its singles matches. against Rutgers' Cynthia Conat, 6-0, 6-1. Fighting Irish head coach Jay "Everybody really played all out today. 1 In that first match, Miami came out on top, Louderback was named the 1997 Big East Performer in the think the team will mature in a couple of 4-2, against Rutgers. Coach of the Year. years," said Miami senior Caroline Hora. "I'm really happy with my performance. THE FINAL STANDINGS Of THE BIG Tournament "Everybody played well, tried their hard­ The first two matches I stayed concentrat­ EAST TOURNAMENT: est. I'm very proud to play with them." ed the whole time," said Hora. "I worked By MICHELLE YEE Hora, ranked 26th in the nation, and on the mental aspect of my game." 1. Notre Dame Sports Editor junior Victoria Hunt did not finish their The first doubles team of Hora and Hunt 2. Miami Like the men's tennis team, the matches. won all three of their matches: 8-5 against 3. Boston College University of Miami women hosted the "I'm sorry I couldn't finish the match. I Rutgers, 8-3 against West Virginia and 8-1 4. West Virginia Big East Championships. Like the men, was happy with my play," said Hora. "I against Notre Dame. 5. Seton Hall the women played the University of Notre feel good about the NCAAs." Their last match against Notre Dame did 6. Rutgers Dame for the second consecutive year in Nassi also lost at number two singles, 6- not count toward the team total because 7. Syracuse the finals. 4, 6-3, to Notre Dame's Marisa Velasco. Miami had already lost. 8. Providence Unlike the men, the women fell short, 4- Top-ranked in the Big East, Notre Dame Hora and Hunt are ranked 27th in the 9. Georgetown 0, in a tough match on Sunday. blanked No. 4 Boston College in the semi­ nation as a doubles team. 10. Pittsburgh F. HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor The Hurricanes, ranked 42nd in the finals, 4-0, and No. 2 Miami topped No. 6 Even though the team lost, Hora was 11. Villanova HITTING THE RETURN: Caroline Hora pre­ nation, were also the runner-up last year to West Virginia, 4-1. named the 1997 Big East Tournament 12. St. John's pares to serve during Sunday's competition. the I7th-ranked Fighting Irish. Against West Virginia, Hora slid past Most Outstanding Performer. 13. Connecticut

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MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER the following ooii Tour dates have been announced for award-winning By LEE NESSEL singer/songwriter Mary Chapin Opinion Editor Carpenter's A Place In The ith giaduation looming and the World Tour. A combination of days of actual academic classes theater, outdoor amphitheater diminishing. I have been inex­ and festival dates the tour W plicably bus) marks her first major outing I didn't realize just how busy I was since 1995. The much antici­ though, until I missed an episode of The X- pated tour will begin in filft two Sunday*] ago Sunrise, Fla. on Friday, April This was • wake-up call It was almost 25, and eonelude in late equivalent to someone forgetting lo eat din­ August; more dates will be ner or walking mil lhe door without any announced soon. While on elolhes on. It |usi eleiesn't happen. tour, Carpenter will once again I concluded ili.it lince it was not written travel coast to toast perform­ down in my dale book wilh all my olher ing in more than 60 major Special Agent Fox "Spooky" appointments, I was loo preoccupied to episodes over a period of weeks. same to the viewer cities. Mulder was ori a fast track in the FBI remember. But lately, each hour has had its The great balance of opposing when he took a detour into the paranor­ But, I've learned thai there are people even own independent idea and story. poles represented by Mulder's more obsessive than I am when it comes Io Each show explores a possible spiritual desire lo believe and accent murks mal. Convinced through hypnotic regres­ watching The X-Ftiet X-file from the FBI—a case with Scully's medically scientific sion that his sister was abducted fay- I set aside an hour each Sunday for my no logical explanation. While train of thought appeals to every­ • Daniel Day-Lewis is work­ some unknown power when they were weekly fix of mystery, intrigue and David some at first appear completely one ing on the film The Boxer. Duchovnv unbelievable, the dark film noir Often one character will sway being filmed in Ireland Iim children, he is now obsessed with dis­ Like Duchovnv s character. Fox Mulder. appeal always seems lo drag out toward the other end of the Sheridan is directing and covering the truths hidden in the X - The X-Files allows us lo believe tn Ihose for­ lhat desire to believe what we believabilily spectrum, tugging Breaking the Waves si.ir Emily Files, a repository for the extraordi­ bidden dreams of aliens and paranormal phe­ see. or at least shiver at the pos­ us all along. Watson t o-stars. nomena. Still others may be more apt to fol­ sibility. The characters have developed nary, the unexplained and the supernat­ low the balancing skepticism of Gillian Carter and his writers make eivei the seasons and have elicit­ • Ming-Na Wen will be the ural. Anderson's character. Dana Scully valiant efforts to appeal to a ed a greater fascination from reg­ voice of Fa Mu Lan in Disncv I Special Agent Dana Scully is ded­ I believe the show is such I success diverse audience. ular viewers. new animated film. The because it explores all those things that Even though the show has "The truth is out there," "we Legend of Mulan. She will co­ icated to objectivity and common sense, humans cannot always explain, yet it always enough substance each week to are not alone" and "I want to st, ir opposite Wesley Snipes in but open to extreme possibilities. She is piesenls the possible with Ihe skeptical and not need a love story line, the believe" are the underlying, sub­ One Night Stand Snipes plays improbable not only a medical doctor with a spe­ relationship between Mulder and tly interjected themes which her husband, who cheats on X-Files and Millennium creator Chris Scully keeps viewers guessing. allow us tei more or less draw our her cialty in forensics, but a firm believer Carter toys with our trust in lhe government, These two have flirted with own conclusions. in reason who thinks there is a scientif­ plays with our faith in religion and pushes disaster, death and each other We are also prompted to won­ • Robert Urich will host ic explanation behind every X-file. our ability to consider the unexplainable countless times. They rescue, der just how many more secrete Boatwork on PBS. It premieres Certain story lines, usually surrounding enlighten and question each out there are being kept from us nationally this month extraterrestrial life forms, consume several other—while also doing the

• Wes Craven's acclaimed horror movie Scream was re- released Friday the 11th It will be released to video sometime me in )une.

• Gary Sinise has recently completed filming the televi­ sion movie George Wallace, in which he played the title role. By SHANE WEAVER unimaginable to us today. men were forbidden from getting on The Iilm will premiere on the Chronology Copy Edilor And the dignity of the sinking pas­ the boats by the crew. TNT network August 24, 1997. sengers is legendary. Guggenheim And it has been said thai when the Emmy-winner )ohn April 14, 1912. traded his life belt for a sweater, say­ ship hit lhe iceberg, passengers were Frankenheimer {The Island of April 14, Sunday: Seven ice warnings are received ing that if he was going to die, he out on the decks, playing with Ihe ice. Eighty-five vears after it sunk on its Dr. Moreau Andersonville) during the day. wanted to do it like a gentleman. In Adding lo the disaster was the con­ maiden voyage, the Titanic, still fasci­ directed Sinise and eo-stars 11:40 p.m.: The lookouts see an iceberg dead ahead. another famous example, the Titanic \ fusion back in Ihe U.S. Reports at first nates us today The "unsinkable" Mare Winningham, Angelina band played on as the ship sank. were vague and insufficient, as there The Titanic collides with the iceberg on the starboard side ship's demise has been the subject of lolie, )oe Don Baker, Clan The romanticism of doomed love were obviously no advanced forms of of her bow Hull plates are buckled and pierced over a 300- two TV minisenes. a Broadway musi­ Williams III and Steppe-nwolf among the blue-bloods has been a media to update those who had friends foot long area. cal, a Noel Coward play, and numer­ co-tounder Terry Kinney Sinise favorite angle of auteurs, from Coward or family aboard the ship. 11:50 p.m.: Water has poured in and risen 14 feet in the ous documentaries and lilms. wiH also appear as Stanley to Cameron (who will feature When the Carpathia, Ihe first ship The latest screen version. Jame's Kowalski in Tennessee front part of lhe ship. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet to respond to the Tilanic's distress call, Cameron's Titanic, has reportedly sur­ Williams < l.issie , A Streetcar April 15, Monday, 12:00 ajn.: The captain is told in the latest incarnation of the siar- reached New York wilh 705 survivors, passed Watenuirltt as the highest- Named Desire, at the e. tossed-lovers theme). the lirst tales of the disaster became that the ship is sinking and cannot last long. He gives the budgeted film ever, anel will do batik- Steppenwolf Theatre And then there is the mystery of that known. Initially, it was thought that all order for a radio distress signal lo be sent out. over Ihe summer with the likes of The Company in (hie ago. night, the strange and bizarre accounts passengers were safe But eventually, 12:05 a.m.: Orders are given to uncover the lifeboats !.ti\l World and Batman mui Rohin for that have been passed down through the full, grisly truth became clear. box-office Hipremacy. And expedi- and to get the passengers and crew ready on deck the years. l ie ms to uncover Ihe location of Ihe Conversely, the lack of media also 12:25 a.m.: The order is given lo start loading the It has been said lhat the night of top ten songs doomed liner .mel later to recover arti- allows our imaginations room to roam lifeboats with women and children first. The Carpathia, April 14 was a moonless mghl. The lacts from it wea* media sensations. Our curiosity and need for details Top ten songs from the southeasl of the Titanic by about 58 miles, picks up a dis­ lack of moonlight may have been a where so few are provided enables the So why does the British liner's Billboard chart: tress call and immediately heads full speed to the rescue. lacttir in the Tilanic's crew not seeing Tiiiiiiu's legend to live on sinking captivate us' To put it simply, the iceberg. It may also have prevent­ 12:45 a.m.: The first ofthe lifeboats is safely lowered, lis slorv is lhe stult of fiction With the 1985 discovery of the ed the rescue of more people—the undersea grave of the Titanic, we were 1. Life After Death li pulls away Ifom the Titanic carrying 28 people, though At 11:40 p.m. on April 14, 1912, lack of reflection on the water would given a glimpse inlo the past; the it can carry 65. The first of eight distress rockets is fired. four days alter is sel sail, lhe 882-foot, The Notorious B.I.G. have made it extremely difficult for ghosts of the disaster made concrete. 1:15 a.m.: The tilt of the deck grows increasingly steep­ 46.000-lon ship (later found to be 2 Spice responding ships to spot the bobbing Eighty-five years later, our minds er. Lifeboats now begin to leave more fully loaded. travelling loo last in icy seas) crashed passengers. into an iceberg Seven iceberg warn­ still race, lutilely trying to fill in the Spice Girls 1:40 a.m.: Most of the forward lifeboats have been low­ One ofthe biggest mysteries is what ings had been received lhat day and details of what really happened on the ered. Passengers now move toward the stem of the ship. actually happened to the ships' cap­ 3 Soundtrack from Space lam were sent to the Titanic dark night of April 14, 1912. 2:05 a.m.: The last lifeboat leaves. There are now over I tain, E. J. Smith. Various Artists And because ot outdated British 1,500 people left on board the sinking ship. The lilt on lhe While some survivors said they salety policies, ihere were only heard Smith shouting to come 4. Falling Into You Titanic'- decks grows sleeper and steeper. enough lifeboats leir three-fourths of alongside the sinking ship, the Celine Dion 2:17 a.m.: The last radio call for help is sent out. j the passengers and crew. more accepted version is that 5. Bringing Down The Horse Captain Smith lells his crew "It's every man for himself!" Beyond the extraordinary number Smith swam to an over­ Tht Titanic* bow plunges under. Many passengers pimp ol deaths — 1..ISO people perished in turned lifeboat to give the The Wallflowers —there is more aboul that fateful overboard. The forward funnel collapses, crushing a num-' people on top of it a baby; he night that grips out souls and piques 6 Pieces of You ber of people. then swam a short distance our imaginationi before slopping. Jewel 2:18 a.m.: The ship's lights blink once and then go out. The Titanic was carrying manv of America's most powerful and influen­ 7. Soundtrack from Selena Several survivors see the ship break in two. The bow sec­ And ihen there's the story ol tial people tm its maiden voyage. chief baker Charles Joughlin. Various Artists tion sinks. Among the dead were millionaires who had drunk so much alcohol n Baduizm 2:20 a.m.: The Thanh's stem section settles back into leihn Jacob Astor, Isadoi Slums and belore the sinking that he was able the water, becoming level for a few moments. Slowly it Benjamin Guggenheim, as well as Erykah Badu to swim around in the icy water, fills with water and again il tilts ils end high into the air. Maj Archibald Hull, military advisor oblivious to the cold, until he was 9 Unchained Melody/The before striking into the sea Those struggling in the icy to Presideni William Tall These peo­ picked up by another lifeboat. ple had been viewed as untouchable; water slowly freeze lo death. There are also the more macabre Early Years invulnerable to the tragedies that aspects ofthe sinking. As the survivors 3:30 a.m.: The Carpathia- rockets are sighted by the befell society's rank-and-file, and LeAnn Rimes on the lifeboats floated away, they survivors' lifeboats. their sudden mortality was and still is could hear the mostly male passengers 10. Another Level both intriguing and lIHHIIIIl ,4:10 a.m.: The first lifeboat is picked up by Carpaihia. remaining on the sinking Titanic Blackstrei'l [8:50 a.m.: The Carpathia leaves the area hound for New \ Proof of this latter aspect is in thai singing "Nearer My God to Thee," arryuig 70 survivors ol the approximate!) 868 people res­ awaiting their imminent deaths cued, mosl weie women and children Join The Miami Hurricane April 18, 9:00 p.m.: The Carpathia readies « But Ihe lifeboats were not nearly lhal so manv men would obey the full; some carried as lew as one-third York Call: 284-2016 unwritten rule ol the sea seems nearly capacity. According to some, many TUBOn. im 22,1997 • TllE Willi Ul IIRIIUf - IMC7

l , , (not the magazine)

By ZACHARY UNTERMAN oser the most desired women in the universe. True. Pat entertainment, no more, no of the week Accent Editor Riley is one of the greatest coaches in the NBA. But less e live in a world haunted with undeserv­ still, a case must be made. I am not judging their tal­ What do you want, a ing celebrities. A counlry mad from ent, their obvious gifts. "Winner of the Week"1 Wsearching for the ultimate hero, driven by What I am judging is their ability to be good role So be it!!! the concept of having something, someone io look up models, good heroes. lo, to obsess over. And are they? We choose some sports figures, who spend a good What exactly makes a hero? percentage of their lives in the gym, pumping iron Does a hero mean you have to save a life an hour, and steroids into their veins, boozing their way to or teach people to do something more than sloth championship rings. about, sit around in a dirty T-shirt, ripped shorts, cut­ r The idea of the "Loser of the Week" was created off socks, hair a mess, breath reeking of skunk beer during the first week of this semester. It was an idea and eyes so dilated you can't see your favorite that took as much thought as risk. It was an idea that wrestling show on TBS. I felt needed to be developed, one that would not fade 1 guess, right? Wouldn't most agree with that defi­ away. So, each Tuesday, along came a new "loser." nition. Each week I delved into newspaper after newspa­ And that's a good start. per, magazine after magazine, entertainment tabloid In a world immersed in pornography, crushed by news show after entertainment tabloid news show, drugs, violence and sex, why not utilize someone searching for the perfect loser. There were always who's brilliant in something, anything? There are so plenty to choose from. few of us who are. Hey, he's a really good singer. He That's richt, Our society has proven to be an embarrassing one. seems like a gentleman, more or less. Label him a But beyond that, a society of marching ants. Meaning hero. us, of course. Alfred Hitchcock once said of his And why not? Who wants lo acknowledge all the actors that they were "cattle" and you must "prod pain and suffering this world has to offer. them like cattle." Again, us. An estimated 8.500 people in the world are infect­ If Nike says. "Michael Jordan. Wayne Gretzky and ed with AIDS every day. Approximately 1,700 chil­ Ken Griffey. Jr. are heroes," ihey must be, right1 And dren died of cancer this year, about one-third of them the same goes for MTV If they spread (he weird from leukemia through that little black box that Beavis and In 1990 alone. 109 per 100.000 people in the Butthead. Jenny McCarthy and Simon Rex are gods, United States fell victim to some form of homicide, then, so be it! a rale that has almost tripled since 1960, when it was Yes, this is our world. 44 per 100.000. Sad, but true. A sea of human skeletons slowly dying, living out US For some it's not so sad at all, though. on the cold streets, starving, crying. / Some people need that somebody, that something And yet, our president lakes a tax write-off on his to look at, and say, "Geez, now there's a hero; there's underwear. someone I want to be like." Some heroes, huh? But then again, look at it this way: Is Jim Carrey Over the past four months I have going to pay for your meal plan next semester? Is Cindy Crawford going to pay your gas bill? received plenty of remarks on my Will Pat Riley get you a summer job? as in we, as in pieces, both positive and negative, both Probably not. unless they happen to be connected ego boosting and slaughtering. to you in some sort of relationship, or happen to be in debt to you somehow, somewhere down the line Still, if anything, what I did accomplish was to get Otherwise, you'd be lucky to get an autograph, let you to read, lo think, to feel. alone a down payment on your donn room. Its main objective was to make you enjoy what I'm not saying they should either All I'm saying is you're reading. society. wake up. True, Jim Carrey is one ofthe funniest peo­ A weekly spoof on society A malicious cry against ple alive. True. Cindy Crawford is probably one of one of our culture's idols li was supposed to be pure Happily Ever After By JAMIE SEGAL the ground. Theater Critic Jeffrey Phipps, the costume designer, created hat do you get when you find magnificent and elaborate costumes for the cast. Into the Woods at the Ring flies Cinderella. Jack. Rapunzel. Link- Red Cinderella's ball gown was exquisite, enhanced Riding Hood, two Prince Charmings beautifully with gold leaves. However, her wed­ W 1 ding gown is simply extraordinary, replete with and a witch in the same forest Stephen Sondheim's musical spectacular Inlo the Woods, of gold flecks and intricate stitching. course. The beauty of Little Red Riding Hood's red Into the Woods tells the hilarious, intertwined cape was magnified by the addition of white satin tales of Cinderella. Jack and the Beanstalk. Little lining. The peasant costumes ofthe baker, his wife Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel. and The Baker and and Jack combine and blend interesting colors and His Wife. patterns. Director Paul W. Mockavak creates an intriguing The cast, as a whole, was amazing, especially in plot surrounding lhe baker's lather who has been ensemble numbers such as "Inlo the Woods" and fated to bear no more children. The witch, por­ "Ever After." Luckner Bruno proved his agility, trayed excellently by Nell Gwynn. passes the curse bolh physically and physique-ly. as the wolf and to the baker, but explains how he can reverse the Cinderella's stepmother. Rita Dolphin brings Little spell: He must obtain a cow as while as milk Red Riding Hood to life in "I Know Things Now," (Jack's cow Milky White), a cape as red as blood w ith strength in voice and character. Mamie Klar (Little Red Riding Hood's cape), hair as yellow as paints herself splendidly as the picture-perfect com (Rapunzel's hairl and slippers as pure as gold Cinderella (Cinderella's slippers.) By the end of the first aci. The sweet nature of the baker's wife is displayed everyone is happy. in Kate Besterman's heart-filled voice. Juan However, the mood changes in the second act. Rodriguez and Jorge Maldonado are wonderful as lhe two princes and create laughter with their ren­ Sondheim feels he must have a moral to his tale ditions of "Agony." David Fraccaro flourishes with and turns his light-hearted comedy into a somber this boyish charm as Jack. Kimberly Kirklm's silly soap opera soprano makes her a perfect Rapunzel. The plot twists anel Incuses on several charac­ Nell Gwynn is Ihe epitome of the evil witch Her ters In one scene, the giant's wife elescenels a sec­ deep, throaty speaking voice and excellent acting ond beanstalk to wreak havoc on fur) Ilk land. produce an almost flawless witch. However, it is Other scenes include lhe Prince Charmings finding slightly disconcerting thai she is the only part of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, and the narrator. the ensemble that does not sing. All of her solos, Jack's mother. Rapunzel and lhe baker's wile such as "Lasl Midnight," are spoken. A duet falling victim to Ihe giant's wife's rage. between the witch and Rapunzel, entitled "Our The set overwhelmingly creates the fairy' tale Little World," was even stricken from the produc­ aura—intricate tree structures, well-defined leaves tion. and a castle backdrop fomi the dramatic forest. Photo courtesy of KENT LANTAFF Each home is filled with elaborate details. The Paul W. Mockavak has created a masterpiece baker's home has pictures on the wall that move lhat will certainly live happily ever after. DONT COME AROUND HERE NO MORE: (l-r) Luckner Bruno, Rita Dolphin and Nell Gwynn in The Ring Theatre pro­ with the witch's speech and a roof support beam Into the Woods will be showing at the Jerry duction of Stephen Sondheim's musical fantasy Into The Woods, about how the classic fairy tales go astray. thai cracks as the giant's footsteps reverberate on Herman Ring Theatre until April 27.

A full page of Jorge's Amazing Facts arGcCreZit ts y That's right kids. A full page of worthless facts. You can wallpaper K your rftom with it. You can use it to clean your windows. You can rr *i donate it to bums on 1-95 so they can clean your car windows with it You can line your cabinets with it. Your dog can use it as a Silky come home (1,472 miles, that is) Shaun Philips lost his cat Silky at Gin Gin, about 200 miles north of Brisbane, potty You can wrap a fish in it. You can amuse children for hours Australia. That was in the summer of 1977. On March 28, 1978, Silky r^mmam^m I by using it with Silly Putty®. You can stuff your shoes with it. You turned up at Mr. Philip's house in a Melbourne suburb. According to his • _ can do lots of things with my page. It's all up to you. Thanks, pal. owner, "He was as thin as a wisp and stank to high heaven."

SINcerely, Jorge Miranda Co-Art Director and Author of Jorge's Amazing Facts PACE8 • THEMlttltHiRRIItVE • IUBDIUTOUIIW 2nd Floor open 5pm till 3 pm HAPPY HOUR _p>-W^ piaj kiM-f^ Monday-Friday-8 PM HtVioK>1 * OST*fc o*v G * ^^ Billiard & Sushi Bar <£•?£ fib«? UM Advantage Courses also ree J2 Hour Pooi available for with $20 puKiSn.t of tusln • Comprehensive review ;U/ Expert Instructors SAT ..0% off with • Test-tsklng stretegies V Competitively priced UNIVERSITY OF anyo»C.aif

ACADEMIC IOTKGWRITTT WaSJaK ilJMRIIa 21-25 CALL NOW TO AVOID THE RUSH!!!!! DONT CHEAT! REASONS WHY The cons outweigh PEOPLE CHEAT •Pressure for the pros... Grades CONSEQUENCES •Inadequate Study OF CHEATING UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI'S FIRST CHOICE FOR 12 YEARS! Skills •Removal from the Call (is fit: •Fear of Failure and University For as Little as : Lack of Confidence 'Damaged Integrity •Problems with Ruined Reputation 251-9872 Time Management •Diminished Learning •Wasted Tuition "^••L^^,,. T^ P»» mo«t* fam. . Located at : S774 SW 129th Terrace Miami. Fl. 33176 Open 7 Doyi a Week (fwi/iMy at/ HOURS: fteeweuittf at/ gett-(n~-T>4UiU (•Convenient Indoor Mini-Storage MON.-SfTT 9:00am - 6:00pm SUM. 12:00 noon • 6:00pm •Inexpensive Violation of standards of academic conduct include, but are not limited to, the following: l-Totally Air Conditioned! • Plagiarizing, i.e. failure to indicate the source of borrowed words and ideas • Using during an examination any materials other than those permitted by an instructor •25 Sizes to choose from • Receiving or providing assistance on examinations unless such irYKCxr. •Electronic Security assistaticc is authorized by the instructor i* \. '\

•Close to Campus (Near the Falls) If you observe or have knowledge of someone cheating, please report it to the Office of the Dean of Students, Bldg 21-H or call 284-5353 COUNCIL

April 23rd • 11am~4pm • UC Patio

Rise and I YOUR O Attitude!

is lookiiviq fern: -PiHOTOqRAphERS 'SECTiON EdJTORS • Arboretum 'GRAphic ctesiqrMERs Tours 'WRITERS

.iT.£. X.!/ -54V ____.___. 1 lam &. 2pm

foRTk FAII 1997 SEMESTER. •Music! If yOU ARE RETURINliNq TO UM ttmiflr • Booths NEXT SEMESTER AN(J ARE .NTERESTEd, PIEASE STOP by UC221 TO fill OUT AN AppliCATiON. • Tree Planting at 3pm DEAdliNE is MAV 9. 1997.

FOR MORE iNfo CAU CONNJE UckEy AT 284^4401.

(These ARE pAid posmoNs!) Presented by Earth Alert along with the friends of the Gifford Arboretum TUESDAY, APRIL, 22 1997 • THf Hi tHI III lillH IU • PAGE 9 LAUNDRY AND DRY CLEANING WWW.HURRICANE.MIAMI.EDU call us now at: PACIFIC COIN LAUNDRY South Fork GRILL • 8 A R 443-7151 Big Money COMPLETE SERVICE: WASH, DRY, and FOLD SERVICE Big Fun A/C Storage Yes! We specialized in Dry Cleaning, Alterations, and Shoe Repair South Florida's Best Tex Mex |PICK UP and DELIVERY FREE OF CHARGE from your dorm Restaurant & Waterfront room Entertainment Bar, South Fork... $8.00 per month OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 7:00 TO 11:00 Now Hiring We accept Visa, Master Card, and Discover Friendly and Energetic Servers, Hosts/Hostesses, Bartenders, Airport Mini Storage Prep & Line Cooks. Apply in Person 3333 N.W. 38 St. Mon - Fri 9 - 5 3301 Rfckcnbakcr Cswy. Call Phyllis @ 633-3330 Key Biscayne Tlie 1997 365-9391 CANES Film Attention Festival Students! 'RESENTED BY THE UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI FILM ASSOCIATION THURSDAY, APRIL 24TH COSO Reception from 7:00 • 7:30 PM & Festival starts at 7:30 PM SAFAC THE COSFORD CINEMA

First come first served. For more information call Ari Pitchenik at 689-3595. Positions are available for the DON'T LET CANES PASS YOU BY! 1997-98 school year. Tae Kwon Do is offering Summer Classes Tuesday & Thursday 6pm-8pm I iaturday 2pm - 2pm Pick up an application in UC 209. Applications are due April 25. Multi Purpose Room Wellness Center Any questions call Beth at All levels of experience welcome 284-6399 fl Celebration of Cuban Culture April 25,1997 Presented by: 10 am - 4pm at the The Federation of Cuban Students F6XTUPJNC... University Center Patio Food Sculptures •Home Cooked Cuban Cuisine •By: Rodolfo Garcia and Ana Leal •Croquettes and T^males from Las Milpas Historic Documents Music •Provided by Ramiro O. Casanas •98.3 FM Ttopical Dancing Art •Salsa Lovers Casino Dancers •By: Teok Carrasco, Tina De Carlo, Alberto •Dance and Body Studio Rumba Dancers Fernandez, Iradia Fernandez, Alena Guest Appearances Fresquet, Lazaro Fresquet, Ana Leal, Ana •Jessica Diaz from Sabado Gigante T. Mendoza de Guerra, Olga Sorondo •Authentic Cigar Maker Sponsors. Academia Poetiea de Miami-Babalu-Blaya International Ramiro O Casanas Dane* .md Body Studio The Gambrinas Co - Global Projects-Great Eastern Bank of FL-Hurricane Productions-Jonker Navigation Corp.-Kiwanis of Key Biscayne-LSY International- Las Milpas-Multicultural Student Affairs-Placencia Cigars-South Florida Courier-Student Affairs-Student Life- UM Art Department- Versailles & Vails Management Group-Zubi Advertising-98.3 FM Tropical WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? Who would you like fo have speak im; MIAMI ill HUH m; at your college graduation (alive TUESDAY, APRIL 22,1997 or dead)and why? OPINION Respond online at: www.miami.hurricarie.edu student speak up Recent advances pose questions about future lf you -could hove front row practicing my lightsaber skills. No, sands of years. He said the bright clump of light along the spiral now twice as far from the sun as tickets to ony event, who! I'm generally interested in our direc­ "Kingdom of Heaven through its may be a piece of the comet's icy Pluto. wouWitbeondwhy? tion as a society. Representatives can open to you the crust that was ejected." Now your wondering: "What's so E Will we ever unite? How many of opportunity to become a new crea­ Whether the object was ice or an special about a lost satellite?" There today's modem dilemmas will we be ture, one of the Next Evolutionary alien spacecraft, it raises a frequent­ is a gold anodized plaque that car­ able to solve? Most importantly, will Level." ly asked question: Who else is out ries a message to whatever intelli­ Speak Up answers are we make any new friends? Applewhite gave people answers there? gent life form happens to bump into edited for doritv, brevity When I look around me I'm not to questions they were dying We've found water, the building it. It's a map showing the Earth's ondtxcurocy BEN FERGUSON alone; I find people grappling with (excuse the pun) to have answered. block for organic life, on Jupiter's position in the galaxy. • these questions everyday. Some As I searched further, I struck upon moon Europa, we know that Mars It also has a computer picture of n this new age of blossoming spend their lives at 5ror Trek con­ some sad irony—one of the chapters once held vast oceans, but we're still the average human being, and a technological advancements, one ventions, interpreting Nostradamus' in the Website is entitled "Our not sure whether or not we're alone symbol showing that we understand Ican only wonder what new ideas, predictions or even just watching the Position Against Suicide." in the universe. hydrogen. experiences and opportunities will latest blockbuster movie. The Heaven's Gate cult believed It would be one thing if we could The message is in the bottle. Let's "I'd like to manifest themselves in the years to Some of us have even gone that a spaceship, trailing the Hale- pick up the intergalactic PA. and go just hope it washes up on the right hear Mozart come. beyond the pale. Thirty-nine bright Bopp comet, was coming to pick "Hey, is there anybody out there?" beach. What if instead of contacting play live." I sometimes become disappointed young brothers and sisters took their them up and take them to another However, the spans of the galaxy are the ET. aliens we reach the I.D. when I ponder what the lives of my lives recently in order to discover level. so astronomical that a flea in aliens, and they're hungry? great-great-grandchildren will be­ what the future holds. When researching Hale-Bopp on Hialeah has a better chance of get­ Who knows what the future will like. Where is this civilization Many people are asking the ques­ NASA's home page, I found that ting a message to the president of hold? You could worry about it all going? Where will we end up? tion: "How could these intelligent government astronomers were, in Japan. Yet it can't hurt to try. your life, try and kill yourself to find MELISSA DIAZ • JNR. I am disappointed, not because I people be brainwashed into believ­ fact, seeing more than just the comet A satellite named Pioneer 10 was out faster, or you could just accept fear the worst, but because the ing this nonsense?" But when you ihrough their telescope lenses. launched by NASA in 1977. It was the fact that you'll never know and answers to these questions will analyze the message Marshall The first paragraph on the Hale- the first spacecraft to go past the concentrate on more important never be revealed to me. Applewhite (Do was sending, the Bopp press release reads: "Hubble great asteroid belt and the first to things, like what's for dinner. I'm not just upset because ITI situation becomes clear. Space Telescope pictures of comet leave the solar system. No longer Ben Ferguson is a sophomore never be able to ride to school on a Applewhite offered instant evolu­ Hale-Bopp show...a blob of free-fly­ sending back signals, the satellite is majoring in international studies "Watching hoverboard or spend an afternoon tion, without having to wait thou­ ing debris near the nucleus. The traveling at over 28,000 mph and is and English. the Declaration of Independence South Beach like trip to the zoo because Rats can be there are things I'd tbe good news: "It's absolutely like to add." gorgeous today!" I suddenly felt the need to MIKCA NAKO • JNR. pause. "...Especially since a rat has so kindly chosen my window sill to spend his last waking moments on." I raised such hell that Unico LEE NESSEL STEPHANIE HAMRICK was there within half an hour. The poor little guy, I truly hated orget tlie fact that I'm drown­ f there's one thing I've to see him pass away. I will ing in work, papers and prepa­ learned at UM, it's this: You admit, though, that is pretty sick. "Open seats At least he was put out of his to the 2000 ration for finals, not to men­ Ijust know that when you're F misery. Olympics in tion trying to find a place to live in a accosted by a rat, the rest of die Sydney." different city and prepare for my day is going to be interesting. The final rat instance occurred new job. I've heard tons of complaints while walking my equally near­ I promised to buckle down and about the problem of critters on sighted friend home at 3 a.m. I said in the middle of our giggles, take care of what is important, I can campus and surely this newspa­ "Call me crazy, but there's a baby have all the fun I want after gradua­ per could use some positive squirrel just ahead of us." KYli GALLAGHER • SOPH. tion (although some friends already energy for a change. "Well, if you were wearing out there in the business world have I first realized that there were your glasses, you'd know that it's warned me otherwise.) rats living among us my sopho­ more year while arguing with a really just a giant leaf." Then it This meant no more late nights at friend outside of Eaton. moved. My friend kept walking the Beach or the Grove. No more Out of the corner of my eye, I as I stood there, staring intently wasting hours hanging out with could swear that something was at the foreign object four feet */ would friends, doing absolutely nothing. moving past me at a pretty fast from my toes. prefer to see But, when asked a few times to pace. I shut up and allowed my It leapt from the grass and Phantom of make the trek down to South Beach, friend to voice his side, while I charged me. I did an oily in the the Opera, I realized why I had such a lack of scanned the premises for air to dodge it as I let out a yell hopefully in enthusiasm to even bother trying. bustling leaves, a rolling ball or that traveled across the lake. New York." I can only think of two clubs/bars, a prying cat. The rat fled right up the nearest off the top of my head (but things "Did you see anything run by tree, the same one I was warned are changing all the time), that do us just now?" I asked. Now he to depart from a year earlier. not have a cover charge, and one was definitely annoyed. "No, "What are you, cursed?" my SINDY OKUNG • FRSH. does sometimes for the "back room" seriously," I continued, "there's friend stammered, totally exas­ where bands play. It all depends on big bugs crawling all over the perated. someone needs to drive all the pay­ who you are. ular and schmooze with owners, walls." On the contrary, my life hasn't door guards and other revelers. ing customers home. This is the reason for my article. "Oh my gosh, those aren't been the same since. In fact, I Money is the obvious other Also, if a club is going to charge can't imagine how it could be South Beach, I believe, has gotten bugs," he concluded. Then I saw expense - when I last went out, I admission, it should at least be pro­ any better. Coincidence? I'm out of hand in trying to be the "in" for myself, a rat running franti­ paid so much for a club that I wasn't portional to the size of the place. cally from bush to bush. We were going to have to say no. place, and perhaps embodies the lit­ going to leave until I believed I had You have to love paying ten dollars inside the building within sec­ Id like to take a moment now eral meaning of "tragically" hip. "7 would like gotten my money's worth. to be smushed in a sardine can onds, and the fight was forgot­ *o say thank you to all of the rats What happened to bar and club tickets to the Unfortunately, I could never get among hundreds of sweating peo­ ten. out there. You know who you hopping, having fun, drinking and 1970 World my money's worth at any of these ple. The next time I heard about are. My encounters with those dancing along the strip—without Cup final to places. They were at their best as I don't need to pay ten dollars just the rats, 1 had left a party with a crazy things have all been fol­ paying a cover charge at each place? watch Pele." free admission clubs, where money to "be seen" in a cluh on South friend because I was suddenly lowed by good luck. The rates also keep climbing— was made from drinks sold at the Beach overwhelmed with the urge to Sure, having them running what used to be $5 is now $10, and bar. Anyone trying to flaunt their climb. We found a beautiful tree rampant on our campus probably what was $10 is now up to $15. next to the lake and climbed its isn't the most sanitary thing. Another tragic thing that occurs at money or possessions is quite a The answer to all of this? Just get branches. And surely the Rathskeller's DAVID BARRY • GRAD. clubs is the bartender-look-from- tumoff, but we all have our prefer­ your name on the guest list, or be a Two obviously wasted people mascot is the only rat our univer­ hell one receives when they request ences. beautiful person. passed by on the sidewalk and sity really needs (if we even need a cup of water. Many interesting people think the I now know why most people debated whether or not they were him at all). don't take meeting someone in a bar Of course, they are consumed same way. We love to go out and hearing voices. So what do we do about them? with making money on the drinks, spend the night dancing, burning or club on South Beach seriously. One of the guys stopped dead Ogden didn't get rid of them; and It's a huge costume party where but if the bartenders just stopped some calories, flirting and then in his tracks and looked all they've multiplied feverishly "I would like hardly anyone is really him or her­ giving all the pretty girls free alco­ leave. around until he found us chatting under the reign of Unico— tickets for self. hol, it wouldn't be such a concern. But since South Beach has in the tree. Then he informed us maybe it's time to call in Mega Maid. any final in It seems that the whole scene is Also, the bartenders should real­ become such an investment—of that rats were known to party in the Olympic being carved into an "if-you're-rich- ize that those asking for water are time, money, energy and putting those trees. This time, it took me But then again, if you know M Games." or-beautiful" clientele only. usually the designated drivers, and oneself on parade. It is more like a even less time to disperse. who Mega Maid is, you're prob­ I've been on "lists" before, and it's they should gladly refill their glass­ treat to visit once in a while—kind Little did the rat know, he had ably silly enough to agree with me that the rats should stay. no big deal, and I don't just mean for es all night if so desired. of like going to the zoo and observ­ prevented a kiss from my buddy I like 'em. the parties thrown by UM students. There should never be a question ing all the animals. (a kiss that my boyfriend would­ n't have liked). RIGOMRTO HERRERA • GRAD. Being on the "list" in South or hesitation in giving someone free Maybe it's time I make another Stephanie Hamrick is a junior majoring in international Beach is an investment for most water. visit. A few months later, I woke up and pulled the blinds exclaiming finance and marketing. people, in more than one way. It The key is to keep the customers Lee Nessel is a senior majoring in compiled by LUCIANO BLOTTA takes time to be recognized as a reg­ happy (and paying of course), but journalism and religion.

Editor in Chief Armando P. Boniche Business Manager Gregory S. Kantor Advertising Policy THE MIAMI HI IIIIII W: Senior Adviser Sigman Splichal Financial Adviser Raymonde Bilger The Miami Hurricane's business utti,,, Founded 1927 is IIK .iiesl .il 1 106 Slanleire) Dr., Norman A Whilten University Center, K.Kim 221 An Associated Collegiate Press Hall of Fame Newspaper News Editor Photo Editor Chris Candelora Coral Galilcs I l.i 11 124-6922. Classified Kelly Ruane F. Hunter Carey Elizabeth Costa advertisements may be placed al that IIK , The Miami Hurricane is published semi-weekly during the* regular acadeni Assistant News Editor Corey Schwarz lion Monday through Friday, 9 am in i ie year and is edited and produi ed by undergraduate students al Ihe University Copy Editor p.m. except ein holidays The Miami of Miami. This publication does neit necessarily represent trie views anrl optn Sarah Guamaccia Hurricane is published Tueselays and ions of advertis«?rs or the University s trustees, tae ulty or administration. Shane Weaver during the University's f || ,„H Unsigned editorials represent Ihe? opinion ol The I turrit arwA filitori.il Board Distribution Manager a Sports Editor Assistant Copy Editor soring academic teims. Newspaiiers AZ Commentaries, letters and cartoons represent only the* views nl their ri*s|ii*i Uve Nigel Gooden ifrsliil.in.sl Ire,. ,„ ehaig.i on ihV ( , 2 authors The newsroom and business eiliu nil lhe Hume ane ire located in the* Michelle Yee Ivye Goldberg Classifieds Manager Cables campus, the Seh,K,l ,,i Medi, ™ Norman A Whitten University Center, Room 221. Assistant Sports Editor Online Editor Amy Bishop and lhe* Kosensliel S,h,K,l of Marine JZ Jonathan Santucci Aiiiiusphi'iu Se ii.iie IK. in Key Biseayne Letter Policy „ , Wendy Dibean Staff Assistants Oeadlinei: Al! rlawtlj and display ads The Miami Hurricane encourages all readers In v. me their opinions on Opinion Editor Assistant Online Editor mux in* waived .cash wnh eop in r/»e issues iclated to the University or in res[Kinst* In any report published in The Lizabeth Arnold V Lee Nessel Doug Berger Miami Humcane husiness office Whiiten I Man to the edilor may be submitted typed or handwritten (please make Amy Bishop University Center, Room 221 by noon your handwriting legible! to the Whitten University Cenler, Room 221, or Tuesday 1*,. I ,„I.,* s issue and nexm Friday Accent Editor Stephanie Hamrick Ioi the Tejesday issue r mailed lo P.O. Box 240132, Coral Gables, 1 It 11124-6922. BUSINESS OFFICE Letters, with a suggesii>d length ol WO words, must be signed and ine lude a Zachary Unterman Melissa Linden Suh7!f,,0m: .The MianU Hurricane is eiiny ol your student ID eard, phone number and year in school. Anonymous Ad Designer Davika Persaud iiv.iil.ihl,. l,„ Mb), „.,,„„, d| |ht, « leners will not he aeeepted. Names may lie withheld upon requesl ,u Ilu dft Co-Art Directors ,M lason A. Buehler l«er year. ' , ol The ritirrj, ane The paper reserves the right to edit letters lor t larity Emily Reid Kehe Staff Associate brevity and aei uracy. Brian Kirmse Jorge Miranda Connie V. Lackey Newsroom: 2.94-2016 BmlneM Office: 284-4401 Fax:284-4404 Sales Representatives cM^oToVfa^. ©1997 University ol Miami lason A. Buehler at 284 4404. TUESDAY, APRIL, 22 1997 .IMlWI Hi nriH i\C > PAGE 1T Date Local Singles Money for College We can help you obtain funding. • Call and leave a voice mail greeting. CALL Thousands of awards • Thousand, will hear your local ad. available to all students • Call back to voice mall, retrieve 1 (900) 7725383 Immediate Qualification messages/phone #. call 1-800-e51-3393 $2 99/min (18-e) Per call (619)6458434 EXT. 3872

As part of Amnesty Internationa.ernational'l s 1 REFUGEE CAMPA IGN 1997 j It's a tough We are proud to present... road to travel... STMHT 4CTI0W BAY

Fortunately, you're planning for her future. Please join us on •TIAA's individual life insurant * (min ies offer dear benefits: Wednesday, April 23 • Um-rtutt term life insurance for vnu and your spmisc • High coverage amounts .ivail.ihlc in the UC Breezeway • Highest |MISSiWc ratings hased M financial slain! ity • Portability, so you can Imp your policy even if you change professions • laving Choices^' allnws tho (H.liry ownrr In receive de,ill» hrttrftl Come and sign postcards to help fight human rights proceeds while i hr insured is still living • .Salaried professional I nunselnrs In axsisl you in planning H abuses world wide. Call for nfive planning guide at 1 800 842-1924, Dept. B2K. Also, look for TIAA on the Internet: http://www.tiaacn'f.or^insurr.hlml "...better to light a candle than to curse the darkness...

KiKurinx thr future for thon*? whofthapc U_ m

l>«-tMTR InursiKT anrl Annuity AMOTMIKMI V-TAW* feOmnrnt E^UIUM Fund, 7.10 Third Awtiw. Nn* ,»rk. NY imil 7 l2f»

•H.tihil~\ TIPi. ml I- o-rmUrt, ,*j/ ikt rem -wt>*mi **•! Ttrm- * .. r. nmrin. r*rmrt. tm rktiMr ••>, mm iDr . •ertw .tf *VW« ra,.. utMki Wiraj JaWtif ffmtWnia^aVt. inatnwnrvS irv Mlmm in •nm*. _m4 • »j. —ranf iv. •«•*- hfrattyr .« ufvi—ar» wmn /laru »**iuala.-'i *«V wwlli -n< mutflltt-m \ 1* Hru I •• WnnA i laimaiVnr *.jwM,aW at /•.»»' M ( reen e.ttrmt ('- fVir .••ytmafi _nr ji.frjajfia* w aim wi ikm .>nr iniimai f '-•aa/ajaaaaa*, tkiu-,1 em «a»a*»*«i uwarf imrusiriax i-nill l*-H-tmil IJT«(1* aw •M/ •*** . kfMM aHiMf 4«N'«i /flaW "* aHarjaauHi, nf .1 an* miam" iljtarai IMW .a Wr i-i/anwaa. r aa/ f] n.Mti •* JV.a *•• i-aa" • < l4Vu .» 1 ririmr.1 laVwf* ". rHjaiaaVhri f,w jmNu .riuiMMir ttj.aajriami Waw> JV Nf<«Mr ft iter luman Maw' •we *«iatF •• Ml Q*e> Wajw—ajw f wi*. r.iM

ADGROUP & PRSSA IYMEZM0Z EAAHNQN Q0ITHTQN The Hellenic Students Association MEMBERS! at the University ofMiami on the occasion ofthe Greek Orthadox Easter on Sunday, April 27th Don't miss the end of wants to wish all ofthe students a fhe semester social! Happy Easter.

Tuesday, April 22 at Dan Marino's Good Luck with exams and have a happy in the Grove trom 5:30 to 7:30. summer vacation!

For more information on Greek-Orthodox Easter Festivities in -Appetizers will be served- South Florida, and the Association's Easter Activities, call Angelos at 689-3559. lust Present Cane Card at the door

Spring Break lasts one week... Alternative Spring Break lasts .a life time

; .

Applications are available in the Volunteer Services Q I Center (UC 224) ond ore due back Friday,April 25! [ji

For more information, stop by UC 224 or coll the Volunteer Services Center or 284-GIVE! IHKZ2HHKZ2H 111

«• . • The Classified Section is the fastest way to reach TIIK V1IW1I ill KISH WK 10,000 people on this campus. TUESDAY, APRIL 22,1997 To place a classiiied ad in The Hurricane call our m office at 284-4401 or come by UC 221 during regular business hour*.

Announcements For Rent For Sale Help Wanted I Typing Tutoring

Tike a Leadership Claw!! Emerging lewiers. 1 nuking for UM student for room in 4bed $600+ WEEKLY PmsiMe! Possible mailing our Professional Writer/Editor helps with person ji GOVT FORECIOSED homes from pennies on WORDPROCESSING $8/DOUBLE-SPACED Advanced Leadery Service Ie\irle*rihip, vVomen room 2 1/2 balh house in Kendall, 15 minutes $1 Delinquent Tax. Repo's, REO's. Your Area. circulars. Begin now. 770-908-3469 statements, resumes, papers, manuscripts. and leadership. Slr.iteeiu c areer Planning aft* PACE ACROSS FROM UM 669-3877 from campus Available lune 1, Toll Free II1800-218-9000 Exl. H-1760 fear cur. (954) 455-3760 or (305) 460-3121 lhe* e IMM lor Fall 1997 Applications available $ 14(lmoyi year lease. Freewaler/1/4 utilities, rent listings. Retail Salet |W. Cooper now has full time in UC 209 and due April 24. pool Mennis murts available Call 270-1145 and part lime Sale*. Positions at the Cocowalk F*(>ert instructions for Windows 95, Word 7 Call 284-6399 tor more into or beep 729-7572. liK.itnin Salary*commission health insurance Personal FOR SALE Nissan Maxima 89. Gold Excellent Excel 7, Powerpoint 7. 20/Hour, "Learn and other benefits. Apply In person or call Roommate wanted lo share 2 bedroom 2 1/2 Condilion, only 67 k miles I oaded, Leaving lhe frombe Pro." Call Boris: 662 9044 Free autographs trom your favorite* celebrities! 441-1380 IUST FOR YOU BEEPERS AND CELLULARS Inin |(iM, 1 Celebrity Blvd #H Atlanta, GA balh townhouse with graduale student In Country. Only $6,500 Call: (3051 445-8237 ATTENTION TO UM FACULTY AND STU­ 30339-4425 Dadeland Cove. Non-smoker preferred. IIOOO's POSSIBLE TYPING, Part Time, At DENTS Activate your Beeper For Free. $3.95 $325/mo • 1/2 utilities. Call 598-5043 SEIZED CARS FROM $ 175. Porsches. Home Toll Free (1) 800-218-9000 Ext. T-3760 Per Monlh!!! We Come To You! Call 305-516- Cadillacs, Chews, BMWs, Corvettes Also for listing Lost & Found fllie ieney near UM. pool cabana A/C. tlie 4539 Now And Save. leeps, 4WDY Your area Toll Free 1-800-218- Roommates floor W/D. private home $375 Call Ed 662- 9000 Exl. A-1760 for current listings 4861 fREE T-SHIRT 4 $1000 Credit Card Fund rais­ LOST! PLEASE HELP! I LOST MY WALLET Roommate wanted- 2 bedroom, I hath, living, WERE THERE CHRISTIANS IN AMERICA ers for fraternities, sororities A groups. Any MONDAY MORNING. IT IS AN OLIVE kitchen, AC, washer/dryer, S minutes Irom BEFORE COLUMBUS f WRITE TO S.W FOS­ Efficiency near LIM pool cabana. A/C. tile Dishwasher for sale works great- $25 Call Campus Organization can raise up to $1000 GREEN UM WALLET WITH A KEY RING UM, non-smoker, $350+ Call Derek «529- TER, PO BOX 9161, CORAL GABLES FL floor W/D. private home $175 Call Ed 662 Connie 284-4401 by earning a whopping S5.00/V1SA applu -iiion CONTAINED SEVERAL ID'S, KEY & MONEV 6650 33124 4861 Call 1 -800-932-0S28 ext. 65 Qualified callers II I ()t IND PLEASE RETURN! PLEASE CALl rouivo FREE T-SHIRT SHARE SUMMER LEASE - 2BR/2RA LUDLAM Townhouse neat UM, Gables Point; 2-1 1/2 ; 665-5011 t oe rinut Grove lownhouse Available 10 May. •POINT APARTMENT $400/MO • 1/2 UTIl New; AC, Carpeting, Kitchen, Blinds ft. WANTED: Motivated leaders for LINK IXEC 3bd, 2 balh. WD, Central AC secure parking, CALL PAUL 669-8108 Appliances; Alarm ( AL, CLDSET, 24 hrs sec. Apply now for the 97-98 Aiademic Year, Work Committee. Apps. availahle in VSC: UC 224. pet OK, 50 FT pool use $800/mo Call lose Losl: White Maltese 10+lhs : short hair $85,000 Call 669-8926 study (obs available at the Rathskeller, Come Due April 25 For more informalion call 284- 529-9508 REWARD. Please Call 448-4419 or 444-771, Female roommate wanted to -.han* nice new 2 by Rathskeller apply NOW! GIVE hed 2 hath apt 5 min fmm UM Call 598- i"e.M - Be*auli»ul Garde-' V»'a* ao MOVING SAIE Epson Computet, silverware, Film Production. Talent Management, and 3279 or 750-6600 t.*mveo,ih An Wj^her.farye*. fenced. Onleyo stereo syslem, dishes, sconce, crafts­ Internships available Call Creative Artists A black electronic organizer was losl on Available lone eir Rih $900 mo. fc*i * man sandet, halogen floor lamp w/ dimmet Management (800*401-0545 Greek Forum Wednesday April 9th at noon by the snack Roommate Wanted!! Neat & responsible per switch, wood display box, and more CaU 750- machines at Memorial. If found please tail son lo share large new 4-hedroom home. A/C Beautiful furnished house. Lease in advance 4 2204 (bpr) for Info and prion. Campus Manager: $1,500-$5K p/t f/t. Student Disc lockeys & Lighting - Big Screen Videos- 443-3435 (Alex) reward offered washer/dryer, Cable and pool just $375/mo. bedrooms, 3 balh. A/C Washer/Dryer. 3 mil. Advantage seeks individual to develop local also video taping. We play the stuff you like. Please Call 251-6398 or page 716-43h9 from UM 666-1718 Verbalim 5 1/4 Disks - New in sealed box. area Sales/mktg. a plus. For more info go to 555-5629 ROOMMATE WANTED FOR NICE CORAL Lease* in ad^nncv inr ladies and men. Share ,50t Call Connie at 284-4401 our 'teb site at www studentadvantage.com. beautiful furnished house. A/C, Pool, or call 800-333-2920 GABLES HOUSE, 4 MILES FROM UM Kappa .the legacy lives on! Classified Policy Washi>r/Drver 1 min, from UM 666-1 718 NORTH OF BILTMORE HOTEL, $417 A WINDSURFING EQUIPMENT FOR SALE! 3 MONTH a) 1/3 UTILITIES CALL MIKE OR Womens Basketball looking for student man­ Ne*ed a place to Slav for the summer? Sutilrase FANATIC BOARDS, SAILS, BOOMS MASTS The Hurricane Classified ROB 8 461-8591 agers tor r,rnnnlh; Anrxher 3 beri- MOVING SALE: TV. VIDEO. HI-FI APPLE, Friday's issue, and by noon Rejommale wanted for a year long le-ase start­ mom 2 hath $1700 month. 667-3694 COMPUTER, FUTON. TABLES DESK AND Students Embassadors to Britain: Build your KAPPA KAPPA GAMMA and LAMBDA CHI Friday if they are to run in ing in May. Great 2 bedroom at Horizons East MORE! GREAT PRICES! 673-6837 resume through promoting Britain Free tickets ALPHA - GREEK WEEK '97 CHAMPS! $375/month Call Rick al 689-5667 2 heitroom, 2 bath apartment across UM. to Britain in 1998 and training in New York, Tuesday's issue. Prepayment $ 1250/mon 2 months deposit Now or Fall. August tq-^7 Send resume (include phone is required for all classified Need a plan lo *d.i\ tor lhe summeri Sublease WALL ST INVESTMENT BANKING/ Taltr a Leatdmhip Cbw!! Emerging Leaders, Ne*l 669-9223 numoer). 200 wf»rds on why you should be & share huge home with 4 female sludenls. 2 BROKERAGE FIRM LOOKING FOR STOCK /Advanced Leaders, Service Le.adership, Women ads. Rates are $.25/word for pi( ked First hand Britain knowledge helpful, blocks trom UM, pool. jaeu«i. huge yard, 1/1 APARTMENT AVAIIABIE IULV 1 $585 BROKER TRAINEES THAT POSSESS THE SAME and leadership, Strategic Career Planning are not essential 'Student Ambassador' British UM under-graduates and washer and dryer, large kitchen, cold AC, PER MONTH -f UTILITIES MINUTES AWAY DEDICATION. DESIRE & WORK ETHIC AS the c lasses tor Fall 1997 Appl ieat ions available Tourist Authority, 551 Fifih Avenue. New York, $.**0/word for all others. cable, large, lighl living room with hard wood FROM UM IN GREAT LOCATION CALL 667- THE NEW 1997 FOOTBALL TEAM HARD in UC 209 and due April 24. NY 1017h by May 1 Fax: 212-252-8427 Tbe On-Campus rate is only flour*. Available in May. $300/monlh • utili­ 1658 FOR MORF INFO WORK AND LONG HOURS WILL LEAD TO Call 284-6399 for more info ties Call Emily. 666-0215 UNLIMITED EARING POTENTIAL THIS IS for undergraduate UM stu­ 2 Bed/1 bath avail lune 1. $660/mo. Walk tn NOT FOR THE WEAK AT HEART! CALL MR Get paid giving away free brochures. Free $10 Dadeland Mall, 10 minutes from UM. Only dent, Faculty and staff. AH looking for a UM atudent IIK room in a 4- BOWMAN (800)969-8505 calling card. Dcpt-CA, 5.708 Hadrian, Durham To Fred and the Brothers of Phi Delta Theta. hed. .' 1/2 hath house in Kendall, available' $ 100 see urity deposit + 1 st monlh rent to NC 27703 Thank you for your help, encouragement and advertising under this rate lune 115 minules from campus: $340 a move in. Call 669 Wt I support during organized cheer. Support during must be non-commercial in month/1 year lease Water free, 1/4 utilities. EARN $15 AN HOUR organized cheer Low the Sisters of Zeta Tau APARTMENT FOR RENT, WAtK TO UM BOO Companion needed for a cultured although nature. Special layout or ponl/tennis courts available Call 270-1145 or Make your own hours. Need a people person. Alpha S. Dixie Hwy, 2 Bedroom/2 Balh avail May frail women of 50 years old Reading, lunch, placement of ads is not guar­ btep 729-7572. 3857087 15.3 hedroom/2 bath avail Aug. 15. Parking, movies, and shopping, Male or Female wel­ anteed, nor are cancellations Pool, washer/dryer-Dishwashei, Gam. disposal, comed. Sensitive, psychology, social worker, or COLLEGE STUDENTSI Alaska Employment. arts major preferred. ($9.00 Hour) Please Call or changes of copy after ACete Call lei al (5611 416-1999 Sigma Delta Tau has blue ribbon week April For Rent Excellent pay fishing 1 monlh salmon season Wi5-5500 21st 24th. Please come to cwr table that will be deadlines. NO refunds will Plus e construction, canneries ev oil fields. Call luxury 2/2 Condo ft, Awesome 4/2 penthouse in the breezeway be given if ad does not run loday lor info. 1504)429-9223 Ext 5028 S16 Do you like music? Do you want to make FOR RENT or SALE! For Sale money? Own your own business. Make HUGE on scheduled date. Ad will WHY PAY RENTevhen you tan pay much lesst PROFITS \ Receive FREE CD'S A CD ROMS Run on next available date. lo own and build $21,0110 tquily in 3 years 24" Color TV with remote $50 OBO Call 1989 HYUNDAI EXCEL 4dr A/C ONLY 61K Call 4 minute recording (716)453-1524, then ONIY 2 BLOCKS Irom UM! 19541763-7935 6891625 Runs tine $2250 689-4892 Tutoring In the event of an error, we call Laura (305)252-2500 are responsible for the first ENGLISH/ $3tl/HR ACROSS FROM UM 669 86' VolltswagiMi lella. Ail, power. Sun nxil incorrect insertion, if and CAMP CANADENSIS, POCONO MTNS. 3877 New Transmission, tries, tunc runs greal likes PENNSYLVANIA. EXCELLENT RESIDENTIAL only ff, in our opinion, there greal Asking $1500, Will talk 661-1984 COEO SUMMER CAMP COUNSELORS TO is a toss of value. In this TEACH TENNIS, SCUBA, WATERSKIING, UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI OFFERS TEST GREAT SALARIES. 6/21/97-8/18^7. CALL PREPARATION COURSES FOR CMAT, case, no responsibility is Help Wanted (800) 832-8228 FOR AND APPLICATION. LSAT, GRE, MCAT, SAT, AND CLAST. assumed beyond tbe cost of INDIVIDUAL TUTORING ALSO AVAIL­ the ad itself. Identification ABLE. CALl 284-2727. Phone sales near 127th Ave SW and 8th Sl SVJMMLR JOBS Work a Fabulous Hawk's Cay REQUIRED in order to place Good English Skills ft, Exp. Salary ft. Comm Resort in the Florida Keyes. STAFF Housing an advertisement. variable hours 551-6926 Availabel, We're Looking for outgoing, ECONOMICS MADE EASY. MITCH 665- friendly people to serve in a variety of position 7591 doc k hand pool servers, F&B servers, reception W.S.I, certified swim instrui lor wanled ior STAFF. Contact Kathy Fry at 305-743-7000. West Kendall Summer Camp. Please call Gerri at 162 1668 or 388-2194 COLLFGE STUDENTS! Summer Cruise Line positions Excellent pay/tenefits Call today for Well established Real Estate Ceimpany has a more inlormation. (504)429-9225 Ext 5028 CI 5 position lor Administrative Assistant with poten­ tial to be the Administrator College degree in (reative, athletic, jwtienl individual needed to Business aixl rxtensive Computer knowledge is help four brothers ages 5-10with homework required. Please lax >our resume to 445-8559 Monday through Thursday 3PM until 7PM. Some Saturdays for help driving to sports ONGOING-STRONG GUY WITH CAR TO events Call 61 3-1022 HELP MOVE BOXES AND FURNITURE FOR & r> HOME AND STORAGE AREA 669-3877 MUSIC INDUSTRY INTERNSHIP Hi Fretjjuem y is < urrently accepting resumes for U _Z2 major label field reps. Internship candidates must BABYSITTING- Coconut Grove family seeks be energetic and creative. Excellent way to t#A warm, responsible studeni with car lor steady started in the music biz Work with hands like weekend job Phone evenings 858-65156 Sneaker Pimps, David Bowie, The Samples, and •Voted Best Pizza in Miami [ verc lear College c redit available. Fax resumr- (AMP CANADENSIS, POCONO MTNS. and (over letter lo: trmexm tmtl - a» travel apacJaJJata, IncorporMmt PENNSYLVANIA. EXCELLENT RESIDENTIAL 800-375-6991 attn.Stephanie ats inc. by New Times, 1996 ( ( ll I) SUMMER (AMP COUNSELORS TO •Summertime in PARIS from $249* one way TEACH TENNIS, SCUBA. WATERSKIING, Non-Stop B747 service from MIAMI Reliable handyman wants work- carpentry, gar LAKEFRONT, MOTORCYCLES, GYMNASTICS, dening-in Spanish home live in cottage or •Hotels from $38 per night based on double •South Florida Magazine, ARTS ft, CRAITS, WSI, AND MORE. GREAT wing of house. References 666-1718 SALARIES. 6/21/97 - 8/18/97. CALl (8001 812- occupancy/flexible voucher program go aa you please. 8228 FOR AN APPLICATK IN •Phone Cards-Youth Hostel ID Cards-Metro Passes- 1997, Reader's Choice EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY Sales Keprosent.itive Needed To Train and Help Museum Passes-Rail Passes - ALL ISSUED ON THE SPOT I ileguard-weekends must have Life saving Explain South Florida Market. Fxlremely Good •Car Rentals also available Training and CPR. 361-2813 Commission Structure. Come Work For The Restaurant Awards •Credit cards welcome - no fees Fastest Growing Private Company in the $1 500 WEEKLY POTENTIAL MAILING OUR USXDocumented in Inc. Maga/ine) Call Mike •20%-25% DISCOUNT to all students on scheduled CIRCULARS. FOR INFO CALL 301-429-1326 at 559-6027 or 518-9364 For more details carriers, with service to Spain, luly, Germany & France. Domestic travel also included. PIZZA SPECIAL PASTA SPECIAL AIR TRAVEL SPECIALISTS Buy 1 at regular Apartment For Rent Phone: Toll Free (%8-837-«448 1 Large 18" Fax: (310) 937-6587 Walk to UM!!! Internet: http://www.h-Mixetravel.ciim w/1 Topping FREE price and get a 2nd 800 S. Dixie Hwy. 'Sateclxl date* $38 lax not Inciixk-el 0/P oontraot raqulrsd C8TU20212283 of equal or lesser 2 b«Hlroonv/2 bath w/ 6 Garlic Rolls available May 15. Medical Sciences-i\ll Levels and 2 Cans of Soda value for 3 bedroom/2 bath Egg Donation available Aug 15 South Florida Institute for Reproduction Happy Hour at the Rat Medicine seeking young, healthy women ages 21-32 to donate eggs tor infertile cou­ Parking, pool, wash/dry, dishwasher, $9.95 50% off ple* Totally confidential. Appropriate finan­ Friday April 25th gaiti disposal, A/C, etc... cial oompenaatlon For more Information please call 306-271-7142 and leave mes­ Call Jet at: (561) 416-1999 sage and phone number 4:00pm to ??

PUCCI'S 1 he Miami Hurricane Party Special Bulk Rate PIZZA & PASTA University of Miami U.S. Pustage Paid 1 Stromboll P.O.Box 248132 Miami, Florida Coral Gables, Florida 33124 Permit * 438 6 Garlic Rolls 9537 S. Dixit Hwy. Retraction: 1 Large Pizza Dadeland Plaza k Cans of Soda Please be advised that The Party Special Price was missed printed by The Miami $15.99 Hurricane on the April 18th advertisement for '"•irV&iMir 662-1113 Pucci's Pizza, The correct rate was $15.99 for the Party Special.Sorry for the inconvenience.

FREE DELIVERY For Authorized Use Only BANNED IN THE U.S.A.: "WHATEVER!" "GET A LIFE!" "AS IF!' 1-800-859-6543 HANDS UP OR MIND YOUR WE'LL SQUIRT "E"S AND "Q»S YaleU. U. of New Mexico Twenty-five Yalies clad in black The U. of New Mexico's grabbed Super Soakers, donned Human Resources Department pantyhose masks and ambushed a got reprimanded in the school's high school Model United Nations student newspaper. The Daily session at a lecture hall. Posing as Lobo. \ Lobo staffer lambasted Irish Republican Army terrotists, the department after spotting a Ill.USTRATIONS BY KtN PKRKINS, WAKK FORES! U., N.C. the students occupied the room for misspelled word in a want ad. 10 minutes — turning of} lights, The ad, placed in the Chronicle broomsticking the doors shut, of Higher Education, was for a throwing balls of paper and blow­ WRITING MISSION: UNM "Director of Financial ing cigarette smoke in the air. POSSIBLE SIGNS OF THE TIMES Aide." The student was infuriated Before the cops showed up, the Carleton College, Minn. U. of California, Berkeley when an administrator told her, students blasted the British for After-hours emergencies pop Remember when you used flash cards to learn math? Well, profes­ "It can be spelled either way and "800 years of occupation in Ire­ up constantly on college campus­ sor (ieorge Bergman is urging his muttivariablt- calculus class to use neither is wrong." Au contraire, land." All but one ofthe IRA es: flat tires, barroom brawls, flash carat during lectures to increase feedback. Baffled students can mon frere, says the student jour­ poseurs got away. That student was falling out of dorm lofts and ... hold up sheets of paper with messages like, "You nalist, citing Webster's New arrested for disturbing the peace writer's block? At Carleton, writ­ erased too soon," or World Dictionary. An "aide" is an and fined $25. Talk about night of ing assignments are life and-death "What are you talking assistant; "aid" is assistance. the living cd. priorities, which is why the school about?" That way, Sounds like UNM's Human has decided to keep a tutor on call Bergman can slow down Resources could use both. BUS STOR GIG who carries around a beeper for or repeat aspects ofthe U. of Georgia those writing emergencies. That's lesson without MO MORE GAMES right — just dial a tutor with much interrup­ Riding the campus bus was Texas, Florida your split infinitives or run-on tion. Upon writ­ never much fun until U. of Geor­ Quarters, Thumper, Asshole sentences, and they'll phone to ing "maximize gia senior Brent Arrington took the and drinking cheap to your your rescue. Wonder if rhey make xyv subject to wheel. It's always open—mike heart's content may be things of in-class house calls? zxz+zyz+xy=l 2," night on Arrington s "Karaoke the past in two Southern states. Bergman saw Bus," where passengers can come Texas Representative Tony one student raise to the front and strut their stuff. IT'S IN THE BAG Goolsby filed House Bill 73, a flash card that Arrington keeps a wide selection of Kansas State U. which would make it a misde­ said it all — tapes on hand — everything from For Minh Iran, one of life's meanor if anyone "arranges, "La Bamba" to the "Oscar Mayer most pressing questions is "Paper "<»#$%8c*r conducts or participates in a Wiener Song" — but the Karaoke or plastic?" The chemical engineer­ [drinking] game." And Florida Bus isn't limited to musical acts, he ing sophomore and Dillons Super­ Senator Fred Dudley is making says. "If you've got a joke or story, store employee is trying ro take SRIN CYCLE BEEDIES BABIES his second attempt in four years a dramatic monologue or just some bagging groceries to new heights. Humboldt State U., Calif. Hampton U., Va. to dry out happy houts m Flori­ issues you ve got to work out, Since winning the state bagging Students at the hiumboldt The administration at Hamp­ da by sponsoring a bill banning please come and share with us." competition against a Price Chop­ Campus Center for Appropriate ton wants the beedies trend to go happy hour specials at restau­ But if you want to do stand-up, per clerk, he's off ro Houston to Technology are putting the pedal up in smoke and has banned the rants and bars. When asked if you still have to hold on to the compete for the national title. To to the Maytag to get their clothes the Indian ebony-leaf cigarettes. she would support such legisla safety handles. win, he must fully pack two paper Downy fresh. In an effort to Although rhe cigarettes do not tion, one student's response was and three plasric make students healthy and envi­ contain hallucinogens, they will fail simply, "I never." bags in as little as ronmentally conscious, 40-year under the cam­ 30 seconds, tak­ old inventor Bart Orlando pus' existing ing note of attached an exercise bike to a drug policy weight, tech­ washing machine. He threw in a because beedies nique, appear­ few pulleys, chains and sprockets look and smell ance, distribution and — voila — clean laundry and like marijuana. A and speed. Now a workout rolled into one. Maybe rose by any other that's fast loud. someday tags will read, "Wash by name might be foot only." an illegal weed.

THAT DARN CAT U. of Texas, Austin Things are out ot con­

trol on the comics page of -g The Daily Texan. Ever since the paper ran senior Tim Beynart's comic, "Nutty: The FASHION VICTIMS Kitten With Testicles for legs" Kent State U., Ohio (it's exactly what it sounds Students in the Women's Movement Net­ like), the paper has received a ROLL TARE work at Kent State got catwalk-y over the flood of letters to the editor U. of Kansas, Lawrence spring fashion tryouts. Ihey responded with from outraged readers. Some see th When a Lawrence resident won tickets to a signs, fliers and protests aboui the show's humor as a trom tor the Commu­ Kansas vs. U. of Missouri basketball game "unhealthy and discriminating" model nist Party; others find it from a local radio station, he probably thought requirements: Women had to fit sizes tour downright disgusting. In he il [list breeze in and out ot the station with through 10 and stand between 5-foot-*) and 6- protett, one studeni dc'iidcd the free CK beta, I.tsier said than done. The toot 1. Visiting professor Morris Arrari, who is to leave it to beaver and sub­ in.in had to pkk up the tickets from a Kansas also a designer in Paris, didn'i understand the mitted her own comic strip, fraternity, where the radio show was being hullabaloo. '< >nlv in America do I see this "Beaver: The Walking broadcast to promote the big game. Brothers nonsense Designers look foran ideal th.u liis Vagina." What ever happened at the house didn t take kindly to the man's what they're designing lor. What are we sup­ to Garfield and Marmaduke? confession that he was i Missouri fan, so they posed to do, design dothes tor tat people?" diKi taped li mi tOI wall And wc thought that Nope, |usi real people. only happened to pledges I "~ May 199*7 • LJ. Magazine 3 Kingpin amEH OY, THAT GUY HAS SOME BALLS. AT LEAST that's the general consensus among the pins at BSun Valley Lanes in west Lincoln, Neb., since Bad Jeremy Sonnenfeld waltzed through in February. Game after game after 900, Sonnenfeld thought it was Words? game, the U. of Nebraska, Lin­ time to return the favor. During coln, sophomore the American Bowling Congress f threw strike celebration in his honor — where he was awarded a diamond-stud­ Whatever! ^k after strike ded gold ring — Sonnenfeld pro­ ^k after strike posed to his lady luck. F YOU RESPOND "WITH ATTITUDE" -.-W — making "I thought it was kind of when people berate you for doing I I persohim thne firsint appropriate that if I was getting a "La Macarena," steer clear of Lake v,th e world ring, she should, too," he says. I (that's right ... Just one question: Will they Superior State U., Mich., because you've been banished. school some attention. When some­ in the world) to bowl a perfect walk down the aisle or the alley? Lake State included "with attitude" and "La Macarena" one started making fun of the 900-point, three-game series at queen's honor list, he got the idea a sanctioned tournament. By Lynda Twardomkl, Michigan among oft-repeated phrases like "phone tag" and "as if" for a 'dishonored' list." "I just couldn't do any­ Stata tl. I Photo by Matt Bruggeman, in this year's List of Words Banished from the Queen's Ironically, the claim to fame thing wrong," Sonnenfeld says tl. ot Nebraska, Lincoln English for Misuse, Overuse and General Uselessness. goes largely unnoticed by the stu­ of his super dents. "I've been here three years bowl experience. The list of the most annoying List's wrath until now. The Clueless- and I didn't even know we had the A dedicated words takes nominations from stu­ inspired "whatever" led the pack, but List until this year," says junior pinhead since age dents and teachers at colleges and political buzz phrases like "building a Tammy Goss. "Actually, I've never 12, Sonnenfeld high schools from across the coun­ bridge" irked respondents, too. seen it before today." says until this try. The public relations office fur­ So how did the smallest public Goss says one more catchphrase competition, the nishes the list to the media on New university in Michigan come to should have made it: touch base. "You Junior Husker Year's Day and posts it on the guard the queen's English!' can only have your base touched so Tournament, 826 school's Web site (www.lssu.edu). According to Tom Pink, director many times before it gets annoying." was his highest Thirty additions made the list of Lake State public relations, the series tally this year, including "you go, girl," idea struck the former director in By Maggie Berry, U. of California, The source of "aromatherapy," "downtime" and 1976. "Bill Rabe was great at com­ Davis/Illustration by Dwayne Wright, the streak? Son­ "get a life," which had escaped the ing up with wacky stuff to get the East Carolina U. nenfeld claims it was a ring that brought him good U.S. treasurer in Washington, D.C. luck. His girl­ Designs ranged from wacky, col­ friend bought him Funny Money orful collages of modern images like the ring in Las subways to bills that resembled Vegas last sum­ OUG CLARICE HAS NOTHING AGAINST DEAD PRES- comic strips. Others chose to stick mer, and he won to more traditional notes with $30,000 gambling idents, but he'd rather not carry them in his American icons. Senior Sandra while he was wallet. "Our money is so unattractive," says the Gayle Wade used old standby wearing it. D George Washington but added a One week Virginia Commonwealth U. senior. "My professor always twist — Martha. "There have after the ring always been powerful women says were going into the 21st century with 19th century helped him nab Botevlod behind out presidents, but they nev­ money in our pockets." er get recognition," Wade says. Clarke's pro­ Senior Erickson Digt'f dollar fessor, Philip focused on making love, not war. Meggs ofthe com­ Me added the symbol ol peace, a munication art white dove. "Green is now .associat­ The Buz; and design depart­ ed with greed and crime. I hope » Just when you thought being a student was the most expensive thing in ment, feels so we're moving toward thai kind

4 U. Magazine • May 1997 ME CAN NON MAKE $65,000 OF YOUR STUDENT LOANS DISAPPEAR. It's not magic, it's the Army's Educational Loan r "• — — — —"-" 1 I YES, I'd like more information on the Repayment Program. If not in default, federally ARMY EDUCATIONAL LOAN REPAYMENT PROGRAM insured college loans up to $65,000 can completely • ACTIVE • RESERVE • BOTH | 12LRPT**017LP IBLRPT"017LS A2e.RPT~C.17LR disappear after three years of active Army service. SENP TO: Army Opportunities, P.O. Box 3219 The amount and duration of repayment varies for the Warminster, PA 18974

Army Reserve. Narr Your college experience may allow you to enter I I Addri the Army at a higher rank and pay grade. And you I may also qualify for sophisticated skill training. I City- -State. .Zip- For more information, call 1-800-USA-ARMY, I Phone . Birthday-. Ext. 440, visit our website at www.goarmy.com or mail | Circle last year of college completed in the coupon today. I Sexial Security numberl

I "Tliii inlormation n voluntary, and will be uwd Ioi recruiting purpotti only The price of free But a federal judge ruled against Supreme Court "Censorship is the bastard speech the professor. justice? child of technology." Chris Landers never thought of Loving says some of the blocked Still, the most concenttated himself as a First Amendment newsgroups contained political dis­ effort against Internet censorship is Robert Corn-Revere* activist, but the California State U., cussions and that the university was the ongoing attack on the CDA. Northridge, seniot sued his school instituting ptior restraint on a pub­ Btiefs filed by organizations like the BY JAMES HIBBERD after administrators yanked his Web lic forum. Student Press Law Centet and the Ametican Asseieia ASMM4.NI EDITOR site ofF the university server. Accord­ Despite the set­ tion of Univctsity ImsiKAiieiN BV JOHN I 111 IMI I BHICHAM YOUNG (J. ing to Landers, administrators back. Loving plans objected to his site's endorsement of to appeal the deci­ Ptofessots a Democratic candidate lor state Sen­ sion. Why is Lov­ "Itmmt (A.A.U.P.) are urg­ I OR LEGISLATORS, THE INTERNET IS A NIGHTMARE. ate after the candidate's Republican ing, who's current­ ing the Supreme opponent ceimplained. "It wasn't like ly awaiting a Court to throw out The communications network cannot be con­ I was larry Flynt," lenders says. university decision the law. strained to a jurisdiction, it isn't controlled at a cen­ In court, the university argued that on whethet he'll One of the btiefs tral location and it gives any individual with a com­ lenders' site represented state funds teceive tenute, was signed by being used lor political purposes. determined to put- Boston U. med stu­ puter the power to reach millions. "li seemed ahsutU io lunii se ei sue the case? in what th By dent Tri Dang Do, But last spring, when the government attempted ro, eicnts in wh.ii thev put on theii Web "It's very simple: who created a Web page about sexually paj^s or vine n their e mail," Lan- The university vio­ putontheir ban "indecent" material on the Web with the Bill Clin* transmitted diseases diis says, "li ' eined cokctaoietoty lated the First (http://med- ton-backed (Jommunicatinns Decency Act (CDA), stu­ to iiu whole i i ic.pt ol a university. Amendment. I Weh pages nr www.bu.edu/peo- dents and f.*Luln at colleges across the nation began * tfc.ilefieis.ib. nt anything, it's sup teach the Firsr Amendment," Lov­ ple/sycamorc/std/). pos. .1 tei be ab< ntislea*. movement to fight Internet censorship. ing says. "If I don't Targeted towatd A I us Ang lei Superior Coun stand up for the fj high school stu Some of these Internet battles may seen insigiiiti- judge 4igiecil i\ nil', that »hcn the First Amendment dents, the page uses "iient. r ates a publii (brum. cant, such is a student fighting to keep his Web in the face of this hi nonclinical language 11 i .moot rtsi ih. ments nl page. Others, like the ongoing tally against the CDA, sort of action, then CHRIS LANDERS, SENIOR, (the wotds "up the the spcirch. ass" instead ol "anal ihr 'int miiority ul I'm a big hypocrite CALIFORNIA STATE U., are commanding the .mention ofthe Supreme Court. Although um icourse," foi land.it, has and I don't deserve NORTHRIDGE Web liters, lik. instance) and But all au being closely watched by trie-speech mit, the Internet to teach." — benign motisatu unhides graphic advocates, religious groups. Internet users ,md educa­ lree-spc«ch issue i* .-(implicated !>> Iiennett Haul tors. These observers suspect thai the e.ises being individuals who uis ! die Web as an inn, a juniiar at \ III. I ledical phiuu nutlet for the elarket impulses 11 ng, would ccrt.il lis gfke. Mosl Ihis liiturr Is nee. sary, fought by students and academic* may write the Individuals like k. \ Hiker, i I i\ antapitiijts s.u software tka ' says. I oo pcopl hive operating rules for the greatest communications In early 199 a I .4 MiclniMii blnckt out euRtrOVersi.il Web sites I inefited Irom i •V liit." siudent, baker (real name: Abnibam prcteikblc to tjcivernniciu ecnKKihir J wenty-fivc go. the ( ourt invention since the printing press. l.icub Alkhaba; seas arretted I.u Inn nor Ha*, lum. His urgank^H utejll thtf .1 eiillcgf .ampu* is a riiling .i story through tl»* Intciuct iv.u erne, pt... ott. rest ii. n sfjitwar. in.iHketpeket nl ideas In the e mn- .ilnmt raping and totturink a fellow (hup Vsvww |K»cefi*t.org ig tnonths. ti mav ic |ip tO stll- . I.i-smate lint a cum i ilismlaed the I I

May 1997 • U. Magazine 7 •No Downpayment When You Purchase •Special Eaty Financing For Grads ih^eChoice isYours... om Any New REWARD YOURSELF! Pontiac Vehicle Graduates Get $400 Off From GM! If you are about to graduate, have recently graduated from a two-or four-year college, or are a graduate student, simply return this card for a $400 certificate good toward the purchase or lease of any new Chevrolet/Geo or Pontiac vehicle, when you qualify and finance through your participating dealer and GMAC See your participating dealer for details GM reserves the right to change or withdraw this offer ©1996 General Motors Corporation All rights reserved am information, return Mr. • Ms. • LAST NAME u lis publication, or call: PERMANENT ADDRESS IAD CITY rad.com PHONE What college or university dcvdict you attend' 1

College City State Do you presently own a car or truck9 • Yes • No FINANCIAL SERVICES IAC If so, what year, make, and model is your vehicle7 When will/did you graduate'' Month vear year Make Model D1996 GM Corp. Allrights reserved. When do you plan to be in the market for a new car or truck' [ Return this card today or call 1-800-964-GRAD J • No •1-3'nos •4-6mo5 • 7 12 nnos Q 1 year or TO'e visit our web site www gmgrad com UM .I..II..1.1.11.11.1.1,.1,1.1.,1.1..1,1.II.lllllllll is Yqur&+~ om Any Hew Chevrolef/Geo or Pontiac Vehicle Grads, for your $400 certificate and program information, return the postage-paid reply card enclosed in this publication, or call: 1 •800 *964 •GRAD visit our web site: VfVfw.3m3rJjd.COn1 GMAC FINANCIAL SERVICES CHEVROLET. PONTIAC See your participating Chevrolet/Geo or Pontiac dealer for details. ©1996 GM Corp. All rightsreserved . Rating System RADIO, RADIO 1. Pavement, Brighten the Comers, Matador a. Built to SpIN, Perfect from How On, Wamer Bros. 3. Helmet, Aftertaste, Interscope A. Aphex Twin, Richard D. James, WARP/Sire S. Wally Pleasant, Wally World, Miranda BY CARRIE BELL 0. Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Let's Face It, Mercury AM of tha above 7. The Lunachicks, Pretty Ugly, Go-Kart 8. Clbo Marto, Super Relax, Wamer Bros. Pocket Anl DiFranco •• Various Artists, Violent World: Tribute to the Band Uving In Clip Misfits, Caroline Highiroui Habe 10. David Bowie, EarthHng, Virgin Two hours ot recordings map her musical Chart baled solelv on ...liege* radio plav. ('oiitrihiitiiig radio .eiaiions: KFSR, e'alitornia State U., Fresno; WNYU. manna from rhe early days of "Anticipate" to the New York U.l KWVA. U. ol Oregon; KTRU, Rice U.. NI DIFRANCO, HIGH priestess most current entries off Dilate. Living In ('lip Tceai; KUelM. U of Minncaou; KCMU. U. ol Waihinj strips down the genius of DiFranco to its barest ion; WXJM, Jamc* Madiaon V . Va.; WWVU. Wrei Vir­ of punk-folk, continually state, capturing versions and monologues. Her ginia U.i KeSB I . ,,l California, Sama Barbara; KTF.K, A New Mexico li-ch; KRUI. U. ol Iowa; KJHK. U. oi winsome blend of urban grit doesn't suffer from updates old-guard feminism with Kaunas; KRNl', 11, of Ncbtariu, Lincoln; WHRIl. Harvard overproduction or overcontemptation, often the V.: WCBN, U. of Michigan; KALX, If. rf California. intimate vignettes disguised as songs. downfall of studio projects. Berkeley; WW V, U. of Vermonl; Kl :R. San Die,*,. Siale U„ Call!.; KhV'R, Oregon s.air l ' She plays "music for people, not pos­ Like all concert LPs, annoying audience shrieks, Hubs and instrument hum are included. terity." So the only surprising thing But all is forgiven upon hearing a magnificent TTie Lighweights about this live two-CD set is that it crescendo in an orchestral "Amazing Grace" or the Get the groove on u.'s music page: powerfully eerie echo vibrating in "Both Hands." No one tolel The Light­ comes so late in her career. http:/'www.uniagazine com/rocks weights how pros handle fame. Instead of cool will find enough psychedelic breakbeats to sink Rap is in transition. finesse, the boys bicker The Chemical their teeth into. Artists are trading in gats, over the phone and exude Brothers trW-ten? A month ago, a sexually confused single called girls and Gucci for peace, no bad-boy bravado. Saxo­ Dig Your Own Holm "Your Woman" stormed up alt-radio playlists. politics and relevance. For phonist Tom Weber, 17, is Astralwerk, You didn't really get it, but you could dance to it. Spearhead and KRS-ONE, almost too nervous to chat. Now White Town wants to charm disco biscuits new albums are an evolution, The innocence is as with its full-length reincarnation ot '80s synth not a departure. refreshing as their music — pleasure a la Bronski Beat, Erasure and Depeche Hero of Hiphoprisy a blend of funky bass lines, Mode. Jyoti Mishra even croons in a unisex tone Michael Franti and Spearhead cruise down the horns, rock sensibilities and White Town Woman In Technology similar to Yazs Alison Moyet. Chocolate Supa Highway armed with skillful a mad rapper. "We wanted Amidst the knob-turning and looped keyboards wordplay, funky bass and a conscience. Ras I to couple our interests in lies some actual guitar. Yet experiments with Mid- Zulu's reggae chants, Trina Simmons' silky rap and ska," says drum­ cUc I astern ambience and schmaltzy ballads can't vocals and layered production fuse soul and mer Skully "We started as top the aural fixation the single induces. technology without losing the one-love groove a five-piece band, but With everyone jumping on the techno bandwag­ theory. San Francisco's rhythm collective took added horns tor flavor." on, it's hard to decipher the superb from the Spearhead time to hone their craft since the '94 debut, Interview finesse aside, schlock. The Chemical Brothers and White Town Chocolate Supm Highway and it shows. Crossover confidence and talent the gang has the business travel different paths to salvation in electronica. climax on duets with Stephen Marley and mastered. They financed Dig Your Own Hole holds iht- unfortunate title Joan Osborne. their demo, A Bit of Lite. of one of I997's most anticipated t I K. I ortun.m-lv Blastmaster KRS-ONE also uses nostalgic "We hit up local stores to England's dynamic duo doesn't let fans of siudio tricks to hit retro paydirt, although / Got Next is carry the tape, and they're wizardry down. The record is an hour-long fusillade more in the emcee and gangsta vein. His available at shows," says of rave whistles, remix madness, hip hop samples freestyle assault is as vicious as ever, but the trumpeteer Matt Scheiner. KRS-ONE and rock guitar squalor / Oot Next melody-based rhymes melt into boogie down The band (with bassist Vocals by Beth Orion and Oasis' Noel Gal­ productions. Nexts rants are peppered up with Joe Baptista, rapper Josh lagher hreak up rhe noise before monotony sets guest appearances by Redman, Joe, DJ Muggs, Kolenik, trombonist David in. Lovers ot the Beastie Boys' wordless excursions Keva and Angie Martinez. Dominique and guitarist Mikal Britt) also knows how important a good live Adrians Evan* desire and emotion rivaling Peter Xscape, Dionne Farrls and Groove act Is. "We have to prove Adriana Evanm Gabriel's Passion and provide a perfect Theory flow into Jazz fusion care of we aren't punk-ass kids," Our Picks PUP/Loud/RCA setting for Mira Nair's controversial film. Cassandra Wilson, Duke Ellington and Britt says. "Crowds quick­ Indigo The string and horn sections sur­ The Hang Ups John Coltrane, putting everyone in the ly realize we're serious •Hi rounding Evans' feathery vocals make So Wa Oo mood for love. about music. Then we go Shaming it easy to mistake her for an airy- Restless Kinnie Starr sounding crooner of her parents' gen­ crazy on stage." ofthe This Minneapolis quartet dishes out Tidy eration, like Roberta Flack or Diana The craziness is catch­ Sun some ot the fiercest iiberpop this side of Violet Inch Ross. But she's a bona fide '90s soul ing, with everything from Epic the Atlantic Ocean. The 12 tracks on Need a new pro-grrrl hero to singer with electronic drums to prove campus gigs to a "ska Amy Ray their second effort will have you bobbing throw adoration at since Ms. Love it. The lilting, upbeat tunes take you mitzvah" scheduled. "We're and Emily your head and humming the infectious cleaned up her act for Hollywood? Try back to happier limes. hot little muffins in Sailers deliver yet another guitar- melodies for days. Canadian TV-hater and performance frenzied, country-folk product demand," Skully says, Various Artists Various Artists artist Kinnie Starr. The mixing is raw, embedded in sexual ambiguity. adding that Scheiner has Kama Sutra Soundtrack Lova Jones Soundtrack the attitude tough and the final out­ three groupies. Despite an abundance of fast TYT Columbia put refreshing. pieces, the duo doesn't forsake "Yeah, but they're all Prepare to be hypnotized by the pas­ Such erotic urban reverie is con­ any of the lyrical introspection or about 10," Britt scoffs. sion of the sitar and sarangi and the tained here that you'll be left with the The assistant editors think these CDs pristine harmonies. One step For a demo, send $4 to: powerful playing of India's most same desirable effect the movie title will give you a reason to get up in the "Closer To Fine." The Lightweights, 817 Linen respected musicians. The tracks exude suggests. Slow Jams by Maxwell, morning. Hire., Baldwin, NY ll5tu. :i i. IOU. Magazine • May 1997 Playing God Romy & Michele's High Buena Vista School Reunion After performing an operation while high on amphetamines, a famed L.A. surgeon (David Mira Duchovnv) is stripped of his medical license. Des­ Sorvino and perate for work, he takes a job treating gunshot Lisa Kudrow Nowhere wounds and drug overdoses for a criminal ganglord are two un­ Sex, T.V., aliens, drugs, (Timothy Hutton). Mulder look out! derachieves S&M, murder, religion, Los who get a case Angeles, suicide, pop cul­ Boogie Nights of makeover ture, more sen and Gibby BY JAMES HIBBERD madness Haynes litter the psychedel­ when they're ic landscape of Nowhere, Call it invited to the third film in Gregg ITTINC, IN THE LOST WORLD, MY Marky Mark their 10-year Araki's "Teen Apocalypse" and the soul is nowhere to be found * high school trilogy. "I like my movies to Humpy reunion. have a real impact on you What Commandments did I break on Bunch. Mark Janeane Garo­ Wahlberg, — an impact that you don't Father's Day? # Have I been playing falo plays a Julianne soon forget," says Araki, incline, and God on my boogie nights? * Perhaps Moore and who wrote, directed and Kudrow is in Burt edited the film. • But it's not my fault, I cannot help familiar terri­ Reynolds star The press notes aptly tory, having that I'm addicted to love * So I sit on in this dark comedy about an extended family of describe Nowhere as a starred in porn filmmakers in the '70s. Sex, drugs, bell bot­ "Beverly Hills 90210 my nightwatch, waiting for the fifth Ladies Room, toms, disco — this one has it all! episode on acid." It's a sur­ element: you the play on which if is based. real soap opera chronicling a day in the life of thrill- seeking LA teen-agers Warriors of Virtue Brassed Off Miramax punctuated with gobs of MUM cameos by pop culture Young Ryan Jeffers is transported to the Land of That thing the Grimcthorpe Brass Band doesn't touchstones like Shannon Tao where he becomes Yee, a Warrior of Virtue. do is let the closing of the local coal pit bring em Doherty, John Ritter and Together with his comrade Roo Warriors, Yun, lai down. "Brassed otT* is Yorkshire for "pissed off" — Charlotte Rae. and that they are. Ewan McGregor, Tara Firzgerald and 1 sun. they battle the evil warlord Komodo for "I like to use the cameos {Sirens) and Pete Postelthwaite (Romeo and Juliet) control of the Land of Tao's Lifesprings. Once the — not ki a cheesy way, but acid wears off, will Ryan be transported to the Land are bandmates who inspire a community to hang in there by blowing their own horns. to underscore the surreal of Rehab? qualities of the movie," says the U. of Southern California Nightwatch Father's Day grad. "It's like a dream, Warner Brm. Ihmemton when you have familiar Trainspottings Ewan McGregor stars as a law Robin Williams and Billy Crystal team up for faces from your subcon­ student moonlighting as a hospital night watch­ this remake of the French comedy Les Comperes. It's scious pop out" the story of a woman (Nastassja Kinski) who con­ The Lost World man, Instead of bunting down some juicy malprac­ Araki, whose previous vinces two ex-boyfriends to search for her runaway films include The Doom Universal tice suits, he finds himself the lead suspect in a series of grisly murders. Nick Nolte and Patricia son by telling each that he's the boys father. Generation and The Living This movie is big — real big\ Big stars! Big direc- Arquette co-star in this thriller, and the word on End, says groups like Nine tOfl Big dinos! Big action sequences! Big box office the street is "creepy." Masterminds Inch Nails and Portishead grosses! Big advertising campaign! Big fast-food tie- / numph have been a greater influ­ ins! Big stuffed dino dolls at toy stores! Big! Big! Commandments The "lone hero against a hostage-taking criminal ence than filmmakers Big! There's nothing about this movie that's small! Qmn mastermind and his gang" formula is dying hard. such as Spielberg and (Except for maybe the plot and character develop­ Scorsese. Perhaps punk When And Masterminds is yet another entry. But this one ment, but who really cares about that?) and new-wave nihilism are Manhattan has a rwist: The lone hero is a 14-year-old kid. The the reason for the yuppie Seth youngster faces off against Patrick Stewart, who's Addicted to Love omnipresent feeling of Warner taken hostage the entire student body of his school. Warner Bros. doom in his films? ( A i d a n Even cooler than an assembly, huh? Something to Tali About, Till There Was Vou, Pret­ Quinn) loses "I definitely have a ty Woman, One Fine Day, When a Man Loves a his wife, job You'll find everything but the Raisinets on U.'s feeling of impending ... Woman, Addicted to Love ... are you seeing a trend yet? and home, he movie page: http:/'www umagazine.com something." Inr the love of Gexl, isn't there one studio exec with decides to get enough neurons tiring to think of an original title-?! even with Anyway, Meg Ryan and Matthew Brodeiick play two God by breaking each of the len Command­ spurned lovers who team up 10 spy on their former ments (right, as it a Manhattan yuppie wouldn't males, who arc moving in together. 1 linm. how ahout have already blasted through at least eight ot The Reel Deal calling it... Tainted Love? Darn, this is tough. 'em). Starting with the lesser inttactions and Austin Powers wotking his way up the scale of sin, Warner is A lascivious secret agent in a groovy velvet suit, The Fifth Element COfllolcd by his late wife's sister, played by Austin Powers has it all: chicks to shag, money to blow ('outteiiey Cox. Apparently the Commandment, and a swinging pad. But according to Mike Myers, his "Thou shalt not cast Irtends actors in a feature The plot character's political incorrectness is part of his charm. film," was also broken. of this $90 "I'm not into mean humor. I'm not into racist or million sci­ sexist stuff that isn't ironic," he says. "Austin Powers is kinda like [Saturday Night ence-fiction Twin Town liver's] Czech Brothers — you can't really be mad at them because they're so innocent fantasy is 11 r.tmeriy in their inappropriateness." being kept Finally, a film about I workman s comp claim Austin Powers is a '60s fashion designer/British secret agent cryogenically frozen secret until its gone had. A wealthy roofing contracror in Swansea, to chase his nemesis, Dr. Evil (also Myers), into the '90s. Myers says the film was Cannes Film South Wales, refuses to compensate one of his inspired by movies like Casino Royale and Peter Sellers' Pink Panther films I • 1 * 1 I V .1 1 workers who took ,i tumble oft a ladder. But the "I was fascinated by that whole world of the jet-setter playboy, I thought I would debut. But injured handyman and his wayward sons. The love to wear those clothes and be in that world." the preview, which ran during the- Super Bowl, did I 'wins, devise a wickedly comic way ot getting even. Between playing the film's title role and working with co-stars Elizabeth Hurley, reveal impressive- sets and llllllll III! We also know Another hl.uk .omedy trom Andrew MacDonald Mimi Rogers, Tom Arnold and Carrie Fisher, Myers says making the film was the most lhat Bruce Willis stars as a cab driver, while Gary and Danny Boyle, ihe duo behind Shallow Grave fun he's ever had. So will Powers return for another adventure? "Oh my God, I would Oldman plays his nemesis (a bad tippet?). .uul luuii-potting. love that"

May 1997 • U. Magazine 11 have been held in the spring in served as more than 300 universities and a great communities every year since it advertis­ started in the '70s. ing tool Rebecca Peatow, a senior at the for the U. of Oregon, has helped organize mssM events at her school for two years. "It's really empowering, especially since you're marching with a large Night group of women. It's fun to partici­ pate and see people getting involved." A sister movement to Take Back Moves the Night, the Clothesline Project, provides a strong visual reminder of violence in the same vein as the AIDS quilt. The traveling project, started in OULD-BE ATTACKERS I990i allows victims of violent crimes to deco­ and abusers beware! rate T-shirts with messages and drawings of Students across the courage, anger and loss. They are color-coded W to match the crime committed; for example, country are doing a little march, orange symbolizes rape. The shirts, which making a little noise and taking numbered nearly 40,000 last year, are strung up for display on campuses and then exhibited back the night. in Washington, D.C. "It was a good visual way to express what happened to me and to let others know that it sample can happen to anyone," says Rhonda Andet- of .he- son, a sophomore at the U. of Idaho who group made a shirt for last year's clothesline. "It before I Take Back the Night is a fitting descrip­ helped to release some of the emotions that I buy an tion for the event, which aims to raise aware­ had inside." bum," ness about increasing incidents of violence Lauren Onkcles, a senior at the U. of Wis­ says against women. The U.S. Department of Jus­ consin, Madison, says the project brings Kevin tice reports that more than 1,400 women die crimes to a human level. "Art therapy seems to Shade, a and another 170,000 are hospitalized as a work a lot better than talk therapy. It brings fresh­ result of violent crime. out things that wouldn't normally come out." man at Each year, thousands of activists sound As support increases for both events, Take Indiana U. whistles, ring hells and shout slogans as a Back the Night and the Clothesline Project "CDs arc too show of support for victims. The event continue to air society's dirty laundry and expensive sends a clear message: "Women won't be hang violence against women out to dry. these days to held captive by fear." Bootleg justify buy­ ing b e f o r e According to the National Organization By Christopher Clancy, U of Idaho/ Photo by Lisa trying." for Women, Take Back the Night marches Barroso, Virginia Tach Connection Slow transmission speeds are HEN U 2 DEC- the only thing hindering free trade of ille­ ided to catch up with gally copied CDs across the Internet. With technology by going the current hardware, it can take over an W hour to download an entire song in CD- more electronic on their new- quality stereo. album, Pop, technology caught up "Even (the fastest] mejdems don't have as good quality as my gexxl old CD player," says with the Irish rockers — and the Billy Jacobs, a junior at the State U. of New band discovered that it moves in York, Buffalo. mysterious ways. But the ability to download entire music- collections in the time it takes to play one song — without the artists or labels seeing a penny — is just a matter of time. Recordable CDs are now available, and drastic improve­ ments are being made in modem speed and digital storage technology. Months before the scheduled release of And the record industry is nervous. Pop, clips from two unfinished tracks off the The Recording Industry Association of record found their way onto a Hungarian America (RIAA) uses its pirating division to fan's home page. U2's label, Island Records hunt down illegal music on the Internet and UK, tried to stop the spread of the stolen in stores. tracks. But within days, the clips were "We have a staff of full-time investigators exchanged by thousands of U2 fans across the — people who do nothing but search the Net globe, and "Discotheque" and "Wake Up for illegal material," says Frank Creighton, Dead Man" were on the streets. RIAA's vice president and associate director of Although the illegal copying of music has anti-piracy. long been a problem for record companies, But the RIAA will never get all the pirates the availability of free, CD-quality music to walk the plank, Jacobs says. "It's virtually duplicated illegally on the Internet is a totally impossible to stop the spread of copied new can ol cyber-worms. music. If people don't want to spend money "[The Internet] gave me a sneak preview of on an album, they can find others who have it my favorite band's new work," says Michael and copy it." McAllister, a U. of Arizona freshman who lis­ tened to U2 on the Web. "Since the (song] By Brian A. Gnatt, U. of Michigan/Illustration by Fight for thm night. snippets were only 30 seconds in length, it Mlkey Giba, Northern Illinois U.

12 U. Magazine • May 1997 TTie Sth Annual U. Photo contest!

ROM FLYING FOOTBALL PIAYERS TO STUDENTS FLYING ACROSS the Grand Canyon, thousands of fantastic photo contest entries flew into our office this year. And now ... drumroll, please ... we present this year's four $1,000 Grand Prize winners. And if you can't get enough student photos, you can find more oFf them on our Web page (http://www.umagazine.com).

Sl.OOO GRAND PRIZE WINNER: ALL AROUND Sl.OOO GRAND PRIZE WINNER: FUNNIEST SPORTS: Alicia Chang, Virginia Tech SIGHTS: Aaron Gavoaie, U. of Naw Mexico "Who turned off the gravity?" "Fending off killer trees."

S 1,000 GRAND PRIZE WINNER: CAMPUS $1,000 GRAND PRIZE WINNER: TRIPPIN': LIFE: Elizabeth Brown, U. of Notre Dame Paul Aziz, U. of Colorado, Boulder "The Irish Guard marching to the stadium." "Excited to be alive!"

May 1997 • U. Maga/ine 13 fl n —^ -• -^ M ait*—. _ _ m Do youyou planplan tofo attendatten d gradgre school? u • yes PliBLISHER & EDITOfllAL DIRECTOR • no IM i^x, If mo, do you plan to work while GMU MSMINRMD attending grad school? PUBLISHER 4 EDITOR \_fKMHmm We want to know what makes you tick. Fill • yes ASSOCIATE EDITOR out the survey and fax it to (310) 551-1659, • no hn BHKNUIU.'W or mail it to: U. Magazine Reader Survey, Oo you own a computer? ASSISTANT EDITORS 1 800 Century Park East, Suite 820, (AMit Bui ttaaOM SUIT.U."96 • yes • IHD U fl MH'HiiaAN*96 Los Angeles, CA 90067-151 1. AMI HUM X-ui.ki. % • no HMB I'OI TIJIAS. AUSTIN '96 ff so, what kind? Check all that apply. ART DIRECTOR Where do you plan to live aftor • Mac DM Dm graduation? ADVISORY COUNCIL Q with parents • IBM compatible DR. DAVID I. ADAMS INDIANA U. • desktop \f.\\ Om U O IOWA • with roommates DR.JAMT.CHUm 11 w- TH H I • alone • laptop Mom CM nwQuMtoi ff so, do you uma Windows 'BB? •MAKKtaH^MHUS S It DIM I*RF S.S |A* C.ENTER How much do you spend on food Du. IAHVM ItfTBM luivhl' at thm grocary store par week? • yes KOM UMN I I "i h\>.\ A^IP, MCHMPCLmi Ifl IMIHS MMHDDISTU • 0-$25 • no iMUBtUtKMIO NK MJUlfSAltU. Oo you hava a CD-ROM? DR. FRANK KM.i i M\I OmamttXItV. • $25-$5() D«. I D*MD Rm1 IAMIRS IIIIMHS UL • $50-$75 • yes TOM RIIMI H ^imiirOniiinwi ftm RHHARDStWHH IVl I*RIMDIM.CMA • $75 + • no M 11 m N-'NIIICAIIOIINA How much of that Im spent on Do you hava a modem? Uttft WlDMFR NiWIHIOM MlWH'Rl ST. U. mnack foods? PEER COUNCIL • yes Ku nB" • WADO STATE U. • 10% • no HA/HIM I' Ko*i\ (MMM I • 25% UMwrj r Cwn I Do you plan to purchaae a laptop? BRIAN MOMMM MARSHAII U, • 35% DOUG Km u*. I a NMMW Leam • yes HIAIHJRtui ONDIMIU. • 50%+ • no Mi u Mnaw tran u. What's your favorite mnack food? '•nm GnkiiRn Do you use birth control? GBUI ftmen UTAHSTAHU. • potato chips • yes GnC WIIMR Arm RS U • pretzels • no ADVERTISING SAliS OFFICES • popcorn ff so, which mathod(m) do you uma? Main Office • candy bars Chack all that apply. lliRi. rata Sen\& Min. Anxi Gnaw • tortilla chips • condom IMOjMTUn 1'AH.Iesi.srill 820. [_J other In* Avail*. I.A9tll>ir • the pill lll illlll SM 1181 How kvfff you mpand your summer IAX(3IO)«ll6S9i»WaD«36 • IUD vacation? Hew York • implant 1 Me..e/iNi.. I70E.61STST.,SIIH40II • working • none NliYnak. NY 10021 • volunteering In 1JI2I98O-28O0 FAX(212)980-2811 • other Fins kiK.HiiN.t.e.im*. AIMRINM.DIIIHTO* • traveling Do you worry about your mkln? laaiauiNAToa • summer school Muwtst« Detroit • other • yes |oi 1,1 1 MillK I'l UK I,I INTHE*. • no Ill H12! 11S-9001 FAX(3l2)HV»"j78 Whmn do you prefer to maa a new movie 7 Oo you uma regular mkln cara products? hill l.w/ Neso Willi* • opening weekend • yes Til. (214) 991-1994 FAX 1211)991-499') ^ a- i • _ . tat; , || || i • within the first two weeks of opening • no rfanCnCwriCfTiC NOnnweil • after the first two weeks of opening ff mo, which products do you uma? tamxDamt T«.HI5)777-«B FaAX{4!5)777-43«5 What type(s) of movle(s) do you enjoy? • cream EntoftMoment Ad Sites (Check all that apply) • soap PwnwGonuB In [SI-VIM 'HUM I" AX . MU) N41-6607 • action • sequels • toner American Collegiate Network, Inc. • murder mystery Q drama I'RiMhiM MARIA SriHUi'- • moisturizer VK i I'RISIDIM I'M IAI'IRIMI • thriller/suspense • romance • other | KI\A.IH\ R>\\ QKUAUN M.ANAi.i* TR,V 1 MAi'iwivHoiaWjn • other Do you hava a savings plan? M*,Rkl MMiCOilRDISAIOR MARII Ml MflCADO Upon graduation do you plan to • yes ASSISMM ( uvikoniR I uvtUA HAYDON IKLVKM iMM Bimi • buy a car • no iNTtRN KAslYSlYMiH'R • lease a car ff so, what mathod(m) do you uma? WmMii: HI IT (tm imwiiiT fiiM Check all that apply. E-MAJI: tiHTOk U»IH)R^tMA>.A/IM H'M • get a car from parents tor. him H>IIVVM.M,A/IM.I OM • other • mutual funds ADMIIIIMV, if Mn>Mm—mw ff you plan to purchase or lease • bank savings account • {'.Wit lAlhiN:OM^UIMGAZLM I OH a car which will It ba? • stocks VUftmbkkkitmtmntnMMfnmLin^l ^ en • American • CDs iWtitp^ Si^i^mKSIUaflfn^MC19r.*t/. iinJ I IIII NflUUtCbUJl I M«.A/M« • Japanese • bonds ftpuniij iridcinavki ol Ammun I iiilcpiit Srnwiti, IIK Q European • other. tfRj(huRiwd

Jf\ABC 14 U. Maga/int* • May 1997 _f^Jfl^\__-t\m BY AMY HELMES AsslsUM l-lil n IK llli SI RATION BVCHHIS SlIBlim, U Ol TlSMSSIt, KNOXVILLE

OOK OUT — THE CREATIVE REGURGITATION MORE commonly known as the sequel is coming to a theater near you. This summer, the dinosaurs will seem even more lifelike, Batman will sport a Clooney cut and Sandra Bullock will have to prevent another speeding Lvehicle from careening off course. In the meantime, here are a few other sequel suggestions that have yet to be picked up for production.

Babe II: The Bacon Years — Babe's hurt-kissing cute- ness begins to grate on the other farm animals' nerves. No longer a spry young piglet, the hog can t keep the sheep in line. This leaels to his tragic demise and some damn fine pork chops. Pulpit Fiction — Samuel L. Jackson reprises his role as Jules, whose love lor spouting off Bible verses leads him ro the seminary. Quentin Tarantino casts himself as the Pope, and John Travolta plays an angel named Michael who's kind ol rough around the edges. Jerry Maguire: (Jmrry'm Kids) — Jerry ditches his "I care" philosophy when he realizes he can prostitute his adorable child co- star, Jonathan l.ipnicki, to casting directors everywhere and keep most ofthe profit for himself Everything's going fine until the cherub demands, "Show me the candy." Double StalnblOttlng •— Renton and his gang have cleaned up their act — literally. They're off drugs and in rhe laundry business after they discover a Take little club soda will remove excrement stains nicely. The English Corpse — While the English patient was With student elections upon charred to a erisp from the- plane- explosion, Katharine's perfect corpse remains us, here are some college unse.itht'd and as beautiful as ever alter lying in a cave for a week or two. Her candidates who deserve a body becomes an exhibit in a traveling circus and is touted as "The woman who second look: llceer ele'COIlipiisi's. der plot. Does hilarity ensue, thanks to the actors' quirky Scandinavian-tinged Seventeen — Alter finding a string of teenage girls murdered. Brad Best name for student body accents? You betcha. president: Jim Hendrix, Clemson Pitt and Moffnfl freeman look lor clues by peering rhrtieigh hack issues of a Thm Man In thm Mirror Ham Tmn Fmcmm — U., S.C. popular teen tasliion maga/ine'. ft.irhra Streisand directs this biopic about the King or Pop's many excur­ Mankato — Ilie Cohen brachen return to a frozen-over town in sions under the knife. Michael and Babs collaborate on a heartfelt song tor Best political party name: U. Minnesota, where seime quirky little fellas are embroiled in a quirky little mur- the soundtrack. of Nebraska's KEG party Best party platform: Kansas Leaf People, Brad Norman, Western Michigan State U.'s Rafferty-Hock presi­ dential ticket vowed to take all the oat pieces out of Lucky Ul! I'MKWSTeN Charms and promised never to 'M HERE Ft« fifty J» bring Tony Danza to campus as IMTCRNIieVJ a guest lecturer.

The Rollerskate Party at the U. of Texas, Austin, called for longer recess, no more home­ work and massive pizza parties to be paid for using student government stipends.

Best write-in candidate: The Madagascar Revolutionary Council at Penn State U. encour­ aged students to write in THE COCK (a large replica of a penis and the MRC's "illustrious leader'') for the Undergraduate Student Government ballot

May 1997 • U. Magazine 15 Funny how much free time costs these days.

I Tnally. After working tor what seems like forever, you nave some time to yourself. To do

whatever you want. Problem is, doing whatever you want costs more than you want. Enter

the Chevy" Cavalier? It can go up to 100,000 miles before its first scheduled tune-up."

Best of all, Cavalier fits your budget. Making it truly easy to own. So even though going

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