Conrad High School by David F. Pendrys

Conrad High School

David F. Pendrys

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jasper Oglethorpe, of London. I'm the story's narrator. Dave apparently believed he had a weakness for description so he brought me in to make things sound more legitimate I suppose with my accent. The pay is good, at least. What follows is only the beginning of a tale about a bunch of people with strange lives going through life at a suburban high school in the United States. At times you will find this story absurd, pathetic, poorly written, and just downright annoying, but don't worry, things will get better. At least that's what I've been promised. Still, if there comes a time when you want to set your computer on fire…don't. When you see italics that generally means I'm speaking. Now let's begin the story. You know, I've been thinking. About what, Dave? Maybe we should do something different. Different? Sure. We have to do something that's never been done in a novel before. Like what? I don't know. So why are we discussing this? Just brainstorming. Isn't the time for that past? You've published this! I suppose you're right. Dave, might I remind you that the story hasn't started yet, and you've taken up a great deal of space with your ramblings. Stories aren't supposed to start with the author and the narrator having a conversation. Ah hah, now we're unique! Bam! You can start the story now. Ahem. Yes. We present without further delay, Conrad High School Hi! What? Sorry, just excited! Okay. Here we go. I present to you, CONRAD HIGH SCHOOL.

"Missile impact in ten seconds," a female voice said. The Vice President of the Student Council looked around worriedly. There seemed to be no options left. He contemplated his existence and that of all those around him as the projectiles drew closer…

Several Days Before The Prologue. In a magical place known as the Solar System, there sits a planet spinning on its axis as it rotates around the sun. However, this story is not about the planet Mars. Ehh…what? This story is about the planet Earth, or more specifically, a town nestled in the northeastern corner of the United States of America. I'm growing uncomfortable with this. Shouldn't I be doing the opening narration? Probably. This town was situated in Connecticut, a good distance from the state's three major metropolitan areas, Hartford… "The capital city." Bridgeport… "The slightly better than New Haven city." …and New Haven, "The 'up yours Bridgeport' city." Say, isn't Stamford a… Stamford's gone man. What? It's gone. Eh? Proceed. It is the late nineties, and this town is named Conrad.

Conrad, Connecticut. A squirrel ran through a field of dandelions only to be hit by a yellow sports car which had veered off the road in an attempt to avoid a pack of ferrets who were sauntering across a nearby street. The ferrets let out a little laugh and pounced on the squirrel carcass. They had done it again. At this time in the year, colorful flowers bloomed and gave most of the Eastern seaboard severe sinus congestion. A stream flowed majestically over a natural waterfall into a shimmering pool filled with old car parts, and just downstream one could find the rest of the car. Yards away sat Conrad High School. The building was a well planned mess of painted blue metal siding, a brick lobby, and a large cement network of hallways. The architect of this example of artistic impotence interestingly enough has since become the non voting delegate from Guam to the U.S. Congress, but that was how things usually worked out when Conrad High was involved. The large student body came from a variety of backgrounds. There were the Preps, Jocks, Nerds, Vims, Zips, Jets, Turds, Punks, Freaks, Jugs, Ahabs, and the mysterious Unforgotten…How absurd…

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 4 Conrad High School, Lobby. As most of the students had gone home for the day, the standard issue school lobby was relatively quiet and empty. No one leaned against the cold, gray wall, or tossed fish at the black and red girders that held the whole structure together. A cricket chirped…several crickets chirped…the heating system clinked. The quiet ended swiftly as two students emerged from the adjoining cafeteria shouting in harmony as they held a third over their heads and ran down a corridor atypically named Hallway A. All three were clad in red and gray football uniform shirts. Complexity was a stout and very bald African American and his partner in the effort was Lucio, a pale Caucasian, who stuffed most of his curly hair inside a ball cap. The person they conveyed was Vaux, an Asian whose nationality was still unknown at his own insistence. Complexity and Lucio continued at high speed through the hallway another sixty feet before letting go of their teammate. Vaux soared into the wooden doors of the school gym with a giant thud. He slid to the ground, unmoving, but hopped up within moments. "I am the man!" Vaux shouted happily. "Did it hurt?" Lucio asked. "Kinda," Vaux replied. "Ey! Everyone's gotta do the 'Hail the Door' exercise before the big game against Welles High. It's tradition," Complexity said. "Yeah yeah. I'm tough," Vaux asserted. "I've eaten a lot of wood splinters!" The three began to shout and throw random punches at each other. When that was finished, they took turns head butting the wall. The trio took little notice of the other occupant of the hallway who leaned against a locker clad in a dark pants, a t-shirt and a black blazer. He looked over the scene with peculiar curiosity until the three finally noticed his presence. "Hey Dave!" The three shouted with no particular thought behind the action. Dave sighed and began to clean his glasses. "I'm curious. Just when has being thrown into a wooden door been anyone's tradition?" Dave asked. "Coach Pitt doesn't tell us when the tradition starts," Complexity said. "Yeah, like that time he told us jumping off the roof was a tradition," Vaux added. "Hey, but if Coach Pitt says it's tradition, it is," Lucio explained. "Yeah! You don't mess with Coach Pitt…or he'll kill ya," Complexity threatened. "That's right," said a husky voice. The four turned to see Coach Pitt himself walk up. The football coach spat an entire pack of gum, wrapping and all, onto the floor. "Hey Coach!" the three football players exclaimed. "Hello gentlemen," he said to the players and then turned. "Hello you pathetic specimen of human existence," he added, glaring at Dave. "Salutations to you coach," Dave responded with a polite bow. "Ya know ya talk like you're someone out of that novel…Jane Austen," Pitt spat. "Jane Austen was an author…she wrote several books," Dave replied in surprise. "That's a goddamn shame," Pitt answered. "Anyway! Have you guys finished the 'Hail the Door' exercise?" Pitt asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 5 "We're working on it sir," Complexity reported. "That's good. You know one time I when I was in the Coast Guard, we dove into this pit and there were snakes and mud, and a bunch of junk like diapers and stuff…and the Sergeant says, 'clean this up with your teeth!' and we did it!" Coach Pitt recounted. "Yeah!" the three players shouted enthusiastically. "See you guys in practice," Pitt said and walked off. "Teeth. Ok," Complexity muttered. "Right whatever, wanker," Lucio sneered sarcastically. Any further contempt was interrupted by a high-pitched squeal. The four turned to see a somewhat shorter student running down Hallway B, the corridor adjacent to Hallway A…what a strange layout and hallway designation. "He's coming!" the scruffy brown haired student shrieked and skidded to a stop. "Who's coming Vic?" Lucio inquired. "The Lord of Darkness, the Ruler of Pestilence, the Thane of Cawdor! Skole Plague!" Vic shouted and raced away. There was a flash of greenish light as a cloud of smoke drifted through the hallways. Several small impish goblins ran down the hall, bounced off the walls, and disappeared in puffs of colorful gasses. "He was right," Dave muttered as the smoke cleared. Standing in front of them was a figure dressed in a charcoal colored tunic, modest shoulder armor, and a dark cape. The new arrival removed his helmet revealing a satanic ponytail of demonically shaded brown hair trailing down behind his head…What does "demonically shaded" even mean? Scary colors…ya know? You're breaking the narrative, this is a big reveal. It's a big something "Where is the being known as Vic? I seek his assistance for a glorious experiment," Plague questioned the four. "He went that way," The four answered as they pointed down Hallway A. "Hmm….he can wait then!" Plague bellowed. "Is Connery here?" "He's in the Electronics room," Dave responded. (MUSIC RISES) What music? Are you putting stage direction into this novel? Sort of. Stop it! "Your assistance will be taken into account at the time of the Reevaluation," Plague announced before spinning on his heel and heading down back down Hallway B. "Wonder what kind of experiment it was," Vaux said. "I'm sure the less we know about it, the better," Dave remarked. "Well…back to work," Complexity declared. "I'll go next!" Lucio and Vaux picked him up and the three made for the cafeteria. Dave sighed and moved to follow Plague. The far doors at the end of Hallway B swung open quickly and yet another Caucasian member of Conrad's student body arrived. He scampered across the dingy black tiles and awkwardly slid to a stop in front of Dave. His red hair remained nicely organized despite his harried scramble.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 6 "Dave…uh…can…you hide me for a while?" the student begged gasping for breath. "Why exactly Stiegg?" Dave queried calmly. "I didn't do anything. There's some people that think I did though!" Stiegg nervously answered. "This happens a lot to you doesn't it?" "More than it should!" "All right, but I'm running out of favors," Dave admitted. "Go north to an inn on Township Road. Tell the proprietor you are like the Pope and that you almost met him once. He'll hide you." "Thanks Dave," Stiegg said with appreciation and scurried out the way he came. "Just what's his problem anyway?" Dave muttered, though his thoughts were interrupted by a piercing battle cry. Complexity flew through the air, smashed into an art class display case, and shattered it. A cascade of deformed pottery pieces fell on top of him. "You imbeciles! You gotta watch where you aim!" he snapped. "Sorry Complexity," Vaux and Lucio replied weakly.

Conrad High School, Office of the Chief Executive. It simply didn't make sense to call the room the Principal's office. Conrad High School had had twenty-five different permanent and acting chief administrators in the past two years. There was just something that no one liked about the position. Any time a permanent replacement was hired, they usually left office faster than the interim educational leaders did. The current Acting Principal, W.A. Curtiss had served the extremely long term of seventeen days at this point. Her office wasn't very special. It had been formerly a broom closet. The walls were an ugly shade of tan and the metal desk at the center of the room was a putrid shade of green. The chairs, born in the sixties, should have remained there as the orange fuzzy cushions were not meant for the modern era. The ActPrince, as no one called her…except me I guess…starred out the window of her office at the three trees barely blooming in the courtyard. She contemplated everything from tonight's meal to the life journey that had placed her in this pitiable position. A knock on the door drew her attention. She turned and recognized the face through the small pane of glass marked with those little x'ey thingies…really…this is what you're giving me?…x'ey thingies…you were doing so well. Sorry. She waved the figure to enter and in came Chief of Security Fak McGowen…Oh great. McGowen? Way to be creative with the names there. Why not straight out call him McGoon? Some people like this kind of thing. They think it's cute. But isn't this a bit lame? What do you think reader? Feel free to email me at… Oh never mind! "Chief, what is this I hear about ferrets?" Curtiss asked. "I don't know where the ferrets came from ma'am," McGowen answered. "You should know," Curtiss replied.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 7 "Ma'am I do run a tight ship but…." "But nothing! The Archbishop of Canterbury arrives for a visit and we greet him with a pack of ferrets running through the halls carrying the impaled corpse of a chipmunk with them as if it was some sort of prize! That can't be tolerated!" The ActPrince stood for effect. McGowen paused and adjusted his uniform slightly. "Ma'am? Have you ever tried to catch a ferret?" McGowen asked. "No." "It's not easy. I know from my experience in 'Nam." "Really?" "Ma'am we can't just track them down. We gotta lure them out." "And how do we do that Chief?" "We get the man," McGowen suggested.

Conrad High School, Electronics Room. The Electronics Room was not particularly impressive but nonetheless important. The E-Room was filled with various work tables, and a bank of somewhat obsolete computers. Various devices were stored in mediocre cabinets all around the perimeter. A giant white board at the far end was filled with various formulas as well as three lines of an unfinished poem. Plague stood waiting in the apparently vacant room. One of the cabinets opened and Connery Scotz, the mahogany haired genius, emerged dressed in a lab coat of the finest material. "Connery," Plague greeted. "Lord Plague, welcome. I hope the conquest went well," Connery answered with a grin. "For the most part," Plague growled. "Fighting a war can be so annoying though. My minions were especially incompetent this time. That hero and his stupid sword of light almost interfered." "Gotta watch those guys," Connery replied. "How is your progress on the device?" Plague asked. "Better than expected," Connery responded. "We have found a seller of the necessary Plutonium. When it arrives we will be able to install it." "Excellent," Plague said. What exactly is going on? Well this is the introduction. I've introduced the characters and set the story moving. Doesn't that work for you? It's so strange though. It only gets stranger. I find that hard to believe. The author grinned. I don't think you're supposed to do that. Do what? Provide the reader with information on what you're doing as you're writing the novel.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 8 Doing that makes the novel edgy. I see. Do you know what else is edgy? No. What is? A switchblade. The author glanced at the narrator to show he was unimpressed.

Chief Executive's Office. The ActPrince looked up at the young girl and the startling shade of pink hair that trailed down her back in a well tied pony tail. The girl sat across from her desk smiling peacefully. "Strika Addendum…that's a fascinating name. It's not often we get transfer students in the middle of the year. Where did you say you moved from?" "Different places," the girl answered. "So be it," Curtiss said. "Welcome to Conrad High School." "I'm so glad to be here." "That makes one of us," Curtiss answered. "Is Skole Plague a student here?" Addendum asked. "Yes why, friend of yours?" the ActPrince asked. "Oh no. He and I share a mutual interest. This will be delightful," Addendum responded with a broad smile. "That's a bit scary, but I doubt you'll make anything worse. Report to classes at 7:30 tomorrow." "Sure, thank you," Addendum said and exited the office. She entered the adjacent vacant hallway and vanished in a puff of Tellurium.

Japan. As all this was happening, something else was happening in Japan…that line will win you the Caldecott for sure! The wind swept across a field. The skies were gray as the sun slowly rose behind clouds early in the morning. A tall teen by the name of Jameson slowly moved across the ground with deliberate steps. His boots crunched…yeah…like boots crunching on the leaves hasn't been done before…like all the time… Fine. His boots rumpled the dirt and grass beneath him…what? Jameson could see his opponent dressed all in red standing several feet away. "So you've come again finally," Jameson said as he came to a stop. The red clad man replied with silence. More gusts whipped at their flowing outfits. "Well?" Jameson asked. "Oro?" his opponent asked in Japanese. "Cut that out!" Jameson shouted. "Sorry," his opponent replied in English.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 9 "Now it is time!" Jameson declared and let his black trench coat fall to the ground as he pulled his sword out of its sheath simultaneously. His opposite hesitated. "Uh see…this isn't a good time. I just came to tell you that I have some work to finish up, and so I cannot fight you. Bank crisis and all," his opponent said. "That's just great! How many times do I have to come out here to get a fight anyway?" Jameson snapped. "Sorry…Jameson-San," the red dressed man said and withdrew into the rapidly forming morning mist. "What an annoyance," Jameson muttered as he sheathed his sword. He pulled the trench coat back on and took a small vial out of his pocket. The small label stuck to its side read: Portal to Serpent's Cavern Jameson threw the vial onto the freshly rumpled ground…dammit! The jar exploded up forming a glowing circular cyan and black vortex. He sighed and stepped inside.

Elmweed, A Section Of Conrad, Connecticut. Almost instantly the vortex deposited Jameson at Serpent's Cavern, a store that had gradually consumed the entirety of the shopping plaza it was in after starting as a pretty small dispensary of geek amusements. The store served as a haven for the vast social grouping of people known as Role Playing Gamers, or Rogers…What the? How'd you get Rogers from that? Creative letter usage. Like hell. Rogers are a strange breed. They are capable of spending twenty hours a day playing video, role playing, and card games while consuming little, or alternatively a lot of food. The giant store was filled with tables of varying size designed for gaming. Various computers and televisions were in good supply, and the walls and aisles were stocked plentifully with products as expected. At this point in time, numerous games were underway, three separate anime programs were being screened, and internet related activities were being attended to on the nascent World Wide Web. It was just a typical hangout. Of course there were several actual mages, warriors, rogues, footpads, magic-users, Halflings, and Dwarves that frequented the place. Some of these very same characters were sitting around a table as Jameson entered. "Ho…I see that Jameson hath returned," one of the warriors said raising a cup of ale. "Did you perhaps cleft your opponent in twain as you had so longed to do?" another warrior asked. "No," Jameson said. "He refused battle again." Most of the store's occupants groaned. "Someday you shall have the victory you so desire," one of them said. "Yes, it will be a great day," a second said. "Perhaps," Jameson muttered. He wandered amongst the scores of players to a specific contest. Sitting at the head of a thirty person table was a short Conrad student, and the only female in the store, Tamrisu. "So. You all think that you can defeat me," Tamrisu said. "You will soon learn that this is impossible, even for all of you," she boasted.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 10 "You're not so tough," one of the players responded. "You shall be the first to die," Tamrisu asserted weakly. Following this exchange she finally noticed Jameson awaiting her attention. "Jameson, have you succeeded in your quest yet?" she asked. "No, Tamrisu. The great swordsman of the east, Akira Tenchi Himura will not fight me," Jameson said. "Then he is a coward, but no matter, I have my own business to conduct with these fools," Tamrisu said. Plague appeared in a puff of Rubidium. "Am I too late to join the game?" he asked. "Just in time," Tamrisu said. "Excellent," Plague said. "Someone approaches!" one of the armored men shouted from the doorway. "Eh?" Tamrisu muttered. The door opened and three teen guys walked in. The apparent leader wore a strangely designed brown blazer and kept his hair neat and tidy. Another of the visitors wore a t-shirt that concealed the light suit of armor under it and had devices wrapped around his wrists clearly designed for offensive purposes. The third visitor just had a cool looking headband. "Greetings outlanders!" Tamrisu called. "A disrespectful greeting I chose to ignore!" the leader of the group snapped as he adjusted his glasses and leapt atop Tamrisu's table. "As you all know I am Sebastian Mapps, ingenious emissary from the Realm of Comics store carrying a message!" he blustered. "You're also a freshman," Tamrisu muttered. "That too!" Mapps snapped from the table. "I know of your foolish store. I would imagine your message is requesting permission for all the girls who currently game at your lowly establishment to be allowed entry to game here in our spacious facility," Tamrisu replied coldly. "Request denied." "How can you deny it to your own!" the headband clad person cried angrily. "Hold it Nei. We are guests," Mapps said. "Though it is an interesting question." "You think people of one gender are all of one mind? How simplistic. I enjoy the company of people here, and I do not want all of your people filled with their shojo goodness to interfere with the darkness we have spent so much time working to build up. The female gaze can look elsewhere!" Tamrisu snapped. "Bastard!" Nei shouted. "Yeah jeez, what an asshole," most of the group around Tamrisu muttered. "Maybe so!" Tamrisu snapped and rose from the table. "The answer…is no…" she muttered with a yawn and sat back down. "So be it for now," Mapps replied. "It is inevitable you will regret this decision. Our friends are not as reasonable as we are!" With that he jumped from the table and headed out followed by the other two. "Wait, they totally are more reasonable than we are," the armored figure said. "Facts and threats are two separate matters. You'd be wise to remember that Prim," Mapps said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 11 They climbed into a nearby Ford. "So who's going to tell Seru?" Nei asked. "Thank you for volunteering, your application has been accepted," Mapps responded and started up the car. The vehicle soon exited and was on its way. Tamrisu watched from the doorway as Jameson joined her. "Are you sure you're right about this?" Jameson asked. "I don't want what we have corrupted. Besides, there is immense power in being the only woman among 700 male geeks you know," Tamrisu responded with as much of a grin as she felt the energy to produce. They returned inside and took their seats. At the other end of the table sat the game master or DM who essentially controlled the game and explained to everyone what was going on. He described the scenario. "You see a very large dragon," he said. "I'll attack it with my sword of eternal life," Tamrisu said. "And I'll hit it with my Kill Dragon spell," Jameson added. "I'll just blow everyone up with my Armageddon spell," Plague announced. "Aw shit!" the entire table yelled. Plague grinned evilly. One of Plague's single greatest joys in life was destroying hope and crushing dreams. Killing off thirty questing Rogers at the same time was all part of it…No I'm not saying Rogers anymore. "Plague, why did you do that?" Jameson asked. "Because it was in my power to do so," Plague responded. "That's always a good reason," Jameson admitted. "Let me put it this way. If someone lets me have the ability to destroy the world how can they blame me if I just go and blow everything up?" Plague asked. "Good point," Jameson said. "Why do I get the sense that you're not just speaking about this game?" Tamrisu muttered drowsily. Tamrisu had a habit of not sleeping for days. The permanent layer of bags under her eyes was quite a sight. Still they were nothing to be proud of. "I've got to go to work now," Jameson announced not letting the usual antics of his friend phase him. "Work? Oh…that's right…I had forgotten that some people actually work," Tamrisu said. Tamrisu also had an interesting work ethic. Ignoring work makes it very easy to enjoy yourself. Now if only the rest of the world did the same thing. As Jameson headed to the door he was momentarily delayed by the odd sight of Vic and Vaux covered in bruises and drenched with water entering the store. "What the hell happened to you?" the swordsman asked. "Vaux drove us over here again," Vic explained. "Dammit, if they're not going to put that river in a different part of town I'm not going to be responsible!" Vaux shouted. "Took the corner too fast again ey?" Jameson muttered. "We didn't take the corner at all," Vic said. Vaux shrugged. "Vaux. Go check the water temperature in the Atlantic Ocean," Plague muttered and Vaux disappeared in a

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 12 mist. "I'll bring him back when I see fit," Plague muttered. "Now. Does anyone else want to play a game?" Everyone in the store shook their heads.

Elsewhere. The computer dinged as the message arrived in the inbox. It read: TO: seru FROM: Nei4262112432 Subject: So here's the deal… Dear Seru, Guys at store said no…kinda not nicely either. Well actually they were assholes about it. Sebastian and Prim afraid to tell you. We compromised on this email. Threats did no good. Sebastian says I shouldn't have said we were afraid to tell you. He's trying to grab the keyboard but Prim is fighting him off. Don't know what you want us to do next. Nei The recipient quickly hit reply and typed a message. TO: Nei4262112432 FROM: seru Subject: So here's the deal… Dear Nei, I will deal with Sebastian… in… due… time. Please go back to the store tomorrow and try again. I'm sorry that I am swamped at this second but this is really important to everyone, and it's not cool what they're doing. I appreciate it. Seru She hit send. A message popped up a few seconds later. TO: seru FROM: Nei4262112432 Subject: So here's the deal… Dear Seru, Sure we will try, assuming that Prim and Sebastian don't kill each other tonight…egad…that was close… they've got the weapons out again…you know how they are…I gotta go. Something's on fire. Seru sighed, closed Netscape Navigator, and returned to her work.

Conrad's West Side.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 13 In the western part of Conrad was the large area known as the Mansion District. Most of Conrad's upper class gentry resided in the several square mile district surrounded by a well guarded stone wall. Much of the district had been carved out of the steep thousand foot tall Mount Conrad at considerable, and downright unjustifiable, expense. Rising above all the homes sat Castle Conrad atop the geologic spire. The castle, though a product of the seventies, was made of luxurious stone imported from Europe by a fleet of fast ships. It consisted of multiple towers and turrets surrounding a large chateau. On the balcony of the chateau portion stood a figure in a Napoleonic War style uniform, complete with a plumed hat atop his head. His eyebrows were large and obnoxious and his brow furrowed as the door opened. "My lord Viceroy?" a voice said. The Viceroy turned to face the short speaker who was clad in rags. "Yes. Speak." The Viceroy commanded. "The Mayor is here," the short man replied. "Send him in," The Viceroy ordered. "Hmm…You! Wait! Come forward a moment," he said. The servant slowly approached. "You are from the lower classes aren't you?" The Viceroy inquired. "Of course…sir…or else I wouldn't be serving you," the servant stammered. "And what did you do before I brought you here?" "Oh…sir…I was…a veterinarian." "BAH! Away you miserable rotten scum of the Earth!" The Viceroy shouted. The short man bowed and headed out. Another man entered and slowly rubbed the slicked back hair on his head. "Viceroy," The Mayor said and bowed. "Mayor Crossgrave," The Viceroy said sternly. "I have summoned you here for a reason." "Yes?" the Mayor asked. "I have learned you are building a public pool over on the East Side of the city," The Viceroy conveyed. "Yes, many citizens asked for one," Crossgrave explained. "You did not consult with me," The Viceroy responded coldly. His eyes narrowed making his awful eyebrows even more apparent. "I thought it was a minor matter," Crossgrave answered as the anxiety grew within his stomach. "It is not!" The Viceroy snapped slamming his gloved hand onto a nearby oak table. "Perhaps you have forgotten who really runs this town." "No, you do of course," The Mayor said. "I just…they asked for it." "They asked for it…" The Viceroy sneered. "Where do you live? On the West Side or the East Side of town?" "The West Side of course," the politician responded meekly. "So you're a patrician then?" The Viceroy queried. "Yes." "You are a member of the upper class. Correct?" "Yes."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 14 "Yet you go serving the East Side like it is your home! They are not worth your time and effort! The East Side is a hive of vermin. It is a nest of middle class and lower class peasants! They are meant to do our bidding. They are Podiatrists, Grocers, Librarians, Pilots, Mathematicians and the like! This town was created by the upper classes. Our founder, the leader of the Byzantine Sons, the organization the Masons wished they were, blessed this land for us. We rule here!" "You're right of course," The Mayor conceded. There was a knock on the door. "WHAT?" the Viceroy shouted. "Uh…sir…" his servant said meekly. "The Superintendent of Schools." "Ah yes. I will speak to him now as well," the Viceroy said. The Superintendent walked in. He was an older man than the Mayor, clearly balding but seemingly unconcerned about that. The chief educator was dressed in a fine suit, including one of those uppity yellow pocket scarves. "Superintendent Radisson, how nice of you to come to see me," the Viceroy said. "It's always a pleasure." Radisson lied. "What's the problem?" "I have been keeping a close eye on this town," The Viceroy answered. "I watch for anything that might challenge the hold the Byzantine Sons and the patricians have. There have been very few such problems, and they have been dealt with…all but one." "One?" the two administrators asked in unison "Conrad High School," The Viceroy responded. "Yes sir, but surely it's not a problem. It's just a high school," the Superintendent said. "Is it?" The Viceroy asked warily. His eyebrows flickered.

Conrad High School Area. It was morning yet again…Fancy that. Cease the commentary. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and the ferrets were all hiding behind a bush preparing to ambush another squirrel. Connery sped down High School Access Road A headed toward the entrance to Conrad's student parking lot. He slowed down quickly and moved to turn in only to be cut off by a brand new shiny black Mercedes. The luxury car narrowly avoided hitting several students and slid across two parking spaces before stopping. The driver hopped out of the car, brushed himself off, and grinned slightly. Connery pulled in nearby and stared at the driver. "Clayton Cooper," he said. "I will remember this." The object of Connery's scorn was Clayton "Clay" Cooper, the Student Council President and the richest student in school. As Connery watched, Cooper waltzed toward the entrance paying no mind to the vehicles which almost slammed into him as the parking lot slowly filled. Plague's silver '87 Lincoln Town Car, Mac Daddy One, drove into the space next to Connery's and the driver emerged dressed as he always was. He took great care to not entangle his cape in the seat belt as he exited his steel chariot. "What is it that has grabbed your attention?" Plague inquired. "Cooper. Is he worth it?" Connery wondered. "Worth what?" "My wrath of course," Connery responded. "I'd say no," Plague determined. "Perhaps you're right," Connery said. "Your wrath is much more useful when directed at large groups of people," Plague reminded him. "So true," Connery agreed. Further conversation was interrupted by a minivan tearing at high speed into the lot right near them. It fishtailed, missed the spot it was aiming for, and narrowly avoided collision with three other cars. Slowly it backed into a spot a few rows from them. Emblazoned on the side of the van's back window was a giant stylized V. Each front car door had "VAUX" written in gold lettering. Complexity, Lucio, Vic and of course Vaux emerged from the Vauxmobile within moments. Connery and Plague watched as the four got into what looked like some sort of point-counterpoint debate. The debate concluded with Vic being pounded on by the other three. "This is nothing less than I'd expect," Plague said. "Let us go." "Yeah," Connery muttered. "My pants are still not wrinkled!" Vic shouted. Complexity kicked him again.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 16 Lobby. "Ah Dave," Clayton Cooper said appearing beside his subordinate. "What is it?" Dave muttered caught off guard by the smarmy surprise. "Listen buddy. We gotta push through some new legislation at today's meeting. You know…to set up the smoking room and such," Cooper responded. "A smoking room? Here? Are you serious?" Dave asked in near shock. "Of course, but look, what I need you to do is just shut up and stop being that sniveling jackass you are for the meeting today so we can do everything quickly. See I've got things to do, and if I don't get to do them, I'll hold you personally responsible," Cooper barked. "Do I care?" Dave muttered. "You have no idea of what I could do to you!" Cooper snapped. "Heck you're not even worth my time, but my friends could do a number on ya!" "Good for them," Dave remarked. Cooper spat and headed into the school's central area up a flight of stairs. He passed Stiegg on the way. "Hey, Stiegg, way to be a piece of crap there," Cooper gleefully said and gave him a thumbs up. "I hate him, I really do," Stiegg growled as he approached Dave. "I take it you cleared things up with the authorities?" Dave inquired. "They couldn't hold me, lack of evidence," Stiegg explained. "Good to hear," Dave said. "Ready for Chemistry?" "Am I ever ready for Chemistry? Are any of us?" Stiegg retorted.

Room 214. Of course Conrad High was a high school, which meant that classes were to be held and learning was to be done. The research is still being conducted to find just how close Conrad has come to that goal. Among the classes taught in the fairly standard issue science room was Chemistry. This section of the course just happened to have Lucio, Connery, Stiegg, Complexity, and Dave in it. Their teacher, Mister Rakjaw, was partially through another in a series of his incredibly mind numbing lectures as he mixed chemicals in a frying pan over a Bunsen burner. "So if the chemical is added to the base we can…" Mr. Rakjaw trailed off realizing that no one in the class was actually awake. He paused and cleared his throat. No one stirred. "Well that's okay, I was just frying up some eggs anyway," he muttered and started to eat the contents of the pan. "Too much Einsteinium," he noted in reaction and reached for the pepper that waited silently beside the hydrochloric acid.

Math Building. The Math Building was a peculiar light blue shed of a building attached to the rest of the school by a large aluminum tunnel which was named creatively…the Math Tunnel. In one of the shed's many classrooms was Mister Eyena's math class. The well meaning and well-liked teacher faced an uphill battle from his Pre-Calculus students every day.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 17 "Mr. E, do you think that we'll ever make it to the moon again?" a spindly student named Daman asked. "Good question, but it has nothing to do with reciprocals," Mr. E responded hurriedly. "Daman. Do I have to slap you silly?" Daman's closest friend and associate, Seth Chafer asked. She matched him height wise but possessed even shorter blazing red hair. "I think so," Daman said. Chafer smacked him. Daman pitched backward and gave everyone a thumbs up. "Now that's karma," Daman said. "Will you all calm down?" Mr. E said. "We're doing math here." "But I need to go to Tosche Station to pick up some more power converters!" yet another member of the group, Goshin, replied, channeling a sci-fi movie he enjoyed. "You can't go this year. It's the harvest," Daman replied. "But you've got more than enough droids!" Goshin shouted. "Guys!" Mr. E snapped. From the row behind them, another student, Maka Penguin, spoke up with an on topic statement. "Hey. Mr. E! Wouldn't you just use the inverse ratio?" Penguin asked. "You could, but only in this case," Eyena explained. "Why?" Penguin questioned in response. "Because we can't isolate the reciprocal." "Yes you could," Penguin responded. "No, you couldn't." "Yes." "No." "No." "Yes." "No!" Mr. E shouted. Daman stood up and walked to the board. After standing there for forty five seconds he returned to his seat. "I think they're selling calzones in the cafeteria," he announced. "That's wonderful. How bout doing some math here?" Eyena asked. These four were collectively known as "The Hooligans" in the school vernacular. Daman, the ringleader, was smart enough to just not give a crap about his formal education. Chafer had her own agenda but no one could figure out what it was. Penguin, the most on task of the group was dedicated to her studies, but couldn't resist the chicanery of her friends. As for Goshin, well Goshin just liked to laugh. "All of this is irrelevant!" came a shout. The eyes of the class turned as the seven-foot Alan Tesla, IQ 256, rose from his seat. "You have a different opinion?" Mr. E asked. "The very use of numbers in this equation is superfluous!" Tesla emphatically stated. "It is not you overgrown fool!" came a squeaky voice. Onto a desk leapt the four foot eight Rocky Rhodes, IQ 256 as well. He glared at Alan.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 18 "You've been trying to push an end to numerical calculus for years! You have no concept of what you're talking about!" Rocky shouted. Alan bent down to meet his gaze. "I wouldn't be so quick to discount a theory you don't even understand, shrimp," he hissed. "Shrimp huh? That's not a very clever insult for a someone supposedly intelligent," Rocky retorted. "I'm not impressed. And your calculations are all wrong." "Guys…." Mr. E tried to interject. "Calculate this!" Alan yelled throwing a punch. Rocky laughed and leapt into the air delivering a drop kick to Alan's head. The tall genius fell backward onto a row of desks. The class scattered. Rocky lunged at Alan and began pummeling him. "It's a devastating blow to the solar plexus!" Daman shouted. "He can't take much more of that," Chafer said. "Guys, cut it out!" Mr. E urged. Alan picked up Rocky and tossed him straight into the blackboard. Rocky whirled and growled. "It's time for END GAME!" the shorter genius howled and charged forward. "I think it's time," Daman announced standing atop a chair in the left corner of the room. "Time for…what?" Mr. E asked dejectedly, but received his answer as the "The Hooligans" began a rousing chorus of "Macho Man." as Alan and Rocky continued to throttle each other.

The Roof. There wasn't much one could say about this roof except that it was flat and provided good standing space… Really? Anyway, Security Chief McGowen stood peering over the roof's edge. Acting Principal Curtiss approached cautiously. "Why am I up here?" she asked. "We've got him," McGowen responded with delight. "Who?" "Jeffrey L. Neely. We've suspected for weeks that he's been sneaking out to his car during fifth period to go get fast food. It is a clear violation of school policy so we've set a trap!" "You seem to really enjoy your work," Curtiss observed. "Today I do!" McGowen cried. "Binoculars?" he offered. Curtiss accepted them. "The yellow mustang with the green frogs painted on it…that's his car," McGowen pointed out. "But there are two of them!" Curtiss said in surprise. "Oh, you're right. This one has the bear rug draped across the top of it." "I see it." McGowen pulled out his walkie talky. "This is Alpha Leader! Is everyone in position?" "Yes sir!" a voice replied over the device.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 19 "Excellent!" McGowen exclaimed. "I think you take this a little too seriously McGowen," Curtiss remarked. "Sir we've spotted him," the voice on the other end of the walkie talky reported. "Prepare…yourselves," McGowen ordered. Curtiss watched through the binoculars and McGowen used his twenty-twenty vision to watch a lone figure, Jeffrey L. Neely himself, creep across the student parking lot toward his car. "Wait for it…just a little more…" McGowen directed. They waited tensely. Neely opened up his car door and climbed inside. "NOW!" McGowen shouted. Curtiss expected to see a couple of McGowen's best people rush out into the parking lot. Instead he saw at least twenty Ford Crown Victorias, complete with flashing red lights and "CONRAD HIGH SECURITY" written across their sides, race into the lot and block Neely in as dozens of guards surrounded the car. "All right! Out!" one of the guards shouted. Neely speedily got back out of the car and surrendered. Curtiss looked on in astonishment. "Where'd you get all of this?" she asked. "Oh, here and there," McGowen replied. "Yeah! We got you, you bastard!" he screamed down at Neely. "Maybe this time McGowen! But I'll be back!" Neely cried back at him. "Oh yeah!" McGowen shouted and leapt off the roof. To everyone's surprise the Security Chief landed safely on the ground and ran the extra twenty feet to face down Neely. "Now what were you saying punk!?" McGowen roared. "I'll be good," Neely promised weakly. "Damn right," McGowen said. The guards soon dragged their new prisoner into the lobby. Curtiss had since made her way down from the roof. "Unusual but excellent work McGowen, but what about the other thing?" Curtiss asked. "Actually ma'am I expect the answer to that very problem will be walking through those doors any second," McGowen responded. Conveniently the doors opened and a regal Latino gentleman with a fine mane of grayish white hair strode in. McGowen approached him and Curtiss hurried to follow. "I am…Ricardo," he announced in a beautiful accent. "Ricardo, thank you for coming. This is Acting Principal Curtiss," McGowen said. "Honored," Ricardo said taking her hand and kissing it. "Why…am I here?" "We're paying you eighty thousand dollars, does it matter?" McGowen responded gruffly. "I would just like to know," Ricardo stated. "We have a ferret problem," Curtiss answered. "Ferrets," Ricardo snarled as his eyes narrowed. "I shall handle…your ferret problem," Ricardo said stiffly and moved on into the school.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 20 "You shouldn't have told him about the ferrets!" McGowen hissed urgently. "Why?" Curtiss replied. "He goes insane when ferrets are involved. I had hoped to handle the matter more delicately," McGowen explained. "How exactly would we get him to handle the ferret problem if we didn't tell him about the ferrets?" The ActPrince questioned with exasperation. "My plan was to let him find the ferrets accidentally, and then we could go from there," McGowen said. "But now…see he doesn't like to be told about ferrets that's all. If he finds them fine, but uh…it's just one of his quirks." "Are you shitting me?" Curtiss asked. "So what now?" "He'll stop the ferrets. I just don't know what other damage he'll cause in the process." "Couldn't you get someone else?" Curtiss asked. "No," McGowen said. "There is no one else."

Cafeteria. In the middle of the day came the exciting period known as lunch. Complexity, Dave, Connery, Plague, Stiegg, and Lucio all occupied a faux wooden circular table in a far corner of the cafeteria. Like most of Conrad, there was little special to say about the architecture. The giant room was lined with windows and the tables occupied most of floor space. It was a cafeteria, not the Worcester Art Museum. "So in theory it would be possible to go back in time, but you take the chance of altering history before you actually get there, thus destroying yourself and the universe in the process," Connery was in the process of explaining. The others, excepting Plague, all looked at Connery in awe. "Gee Connery, you know a lot about science," Stiegg observed. "As much as you know about physical and temporal laws, you have little concept for how easily I might break them!" Plague thundered. "In fact, I have listened to this exact conversation seven times in a row now." "That's what you claim," Connery replied. "I don't doubt your power, but without scientific proof of what you say I remain…" "Unconvinced?" Plague interjected. "Keep in mind that in five seconds, the United States Air Force will mistake this building for a refugee camp and drop several tons of food onto these very school grounds." As if on cue the entire cafeteria could hear the engines of the large prop plane flying overhead at low altitude. Crates began to slam into the grass and parking lot, as well as ricochet across the previously mentioned roof. "Fucking Chair Force," Complexity sneered with a small laugh. "Well played, but you could have made that happen," Connery said. "True. Here's another example," Plague said. Lucio appeared on the table. This surprised everyone including the Lucio who was still sitting in his chair. "Woah…hey…this is strange," the Lucio on the table said. "See? I have brought Lucio from the future!" Plague blustered. "How far in the future?" Stiegg asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 21 "Two minutes," Plague said. The Lucio on the table disappeared. "Uh…isn't there something wrong with meeting yourself in the whole time space continuum?" Dave wondered aloud. "Eye contact is not a meeting!" Plague snapped. "However, this Lucio's knowledge of the future might cause him to change history," Connery theorized. "STOP LUCIO!" Complexity yelped. "Wha…?" Lucio said caught off guard. "You were tucking in your shirt," Complexity said. "The future Lucio's shirt wasn't tucked in!" "Oh, sorry," Lucio responded. "I don't particularly care for where this is going," Connery muttered. "I'm going to the lab." He stood up quickly, tossed his tray of food at Stiegg, and headed for the door. "Not a bad idea," Plague admitted. He stood up and followed Connery, his cape flapped behind him as he walked, pausing only halfway through the sea of tables. "I feel something…something I haven't felt since…" he uttered under his breath. He looked around, but given the sheer number of people present he couldn't place the source of the feeling. He exited quickly now very curious about what was occurring. "That's pretty weird stuff," Dave noted back at the table. "Yeah," Stiegg agreed. Lucio disappeared. "Now where'd he go?" Complexity muttered. Lucio popped back in landing on the table. "Hey guys you wouldn't believe where I was," Lucio said. "Yes we would," they said in unison. "Look Lucio's shirt is tucked in!" Complexity shouted in surprise. "You changed time Complexity!" Stiegg yelled. "Ah well. It just adds to my mystique," Complexity responded calmly. "Hey! Hey you there! Keep it down!" someone shouted. The four all looked at the speaker, Clayton Cooper, who now approached them. "You're disturbing our lunch," he said gesturing to the seventeen tables of preps scattered about the cafeteria. "Ehh…you're not so tough Cooper!" Complexity shouted as he rose from the table. "What would you do without an epiglottis!?" "You imbecile! What are you talking about?" Cooper asked incredulously. "Hey! No epiglottis and everything goes down the wrong pipe," Complexity said. "Let me tell you something," Cooper said. "You would never get close enough to me to even disturb a hair

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 22 on my arm. So don't delude yourself…and you suck Lucio," Cooper added before returning to his table. "He'd better watch it," Complexity said. "They never realize just how valuable their epiglottis is until they don't have it… and I have it…and I'm waving it in front of them." "You tell 'em Complexity," Lucio urged. "But Cooper better watch it, he's messing with the wrong bunch of people. Smegging wanker." "Who else would he mess with?" Stiegg asked. "Switzerland," Complexity answered. "Switzerland?" the other three exclaimed. "Hey come on, they've got it coming!" Complexity said. The others sighed.

Conrad High Student Council President's Office. After an eventful lunch, Clayton Cooper sat at his desk trying to think of a way to neutralize his enemies. The President's Office was the size of a classroom and occupied prime space on the second floor of Conrad's central section. On the wall hung several paintings of which he had no comprehension of but thought looked important, and the bureau behind the desk was stocked well with liquor and cigars. The thing was that although Clay Cooper was in fact the leader of the upper class at Conrad, he wasn't particularly well liked either. That came from the inherent paradox of throwing together several hundred rich, ambitious, pompous asses, and expecting them to cooperate for the good of the whole. It was true that effective leaders could achieve control, but Clay Cooper was not one of them. He had climbed the social ladder without a clear way of figuring out what to do when he reached the top. The end result was a very inept leader. His thoughts were interrupted by the door swinging open. Vaux entered quickly. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Cooper snapped. "You're President of the Student Council right?" Vaux asked. "Of course you ingrate!" "So you're the most powerful man in the school right?" "That is also true, but I will treat you no better for your flattery, what do you want?" "Look at this," Vaux said and placed a piece of paper on Cooper's desk. Cooper glanced at it. "It's a placemat! What of it!" "It's not just any placemat. It's a rare one from the turn of the century," Vaux explained. "The placemat is laminated you simpleton!" "I don't expect you to understand, but look I represent the Placemat Society, and we've constantly been passed over for funding by the student government. We want some," Vaux stated. "If you honestly think I'm going to give you a cent, you're mistaken. Instead I'm going to give you an ass whipping right now!" Cooper snapped. "No need to get hostile," Vaux responded calmly. "Hmm…perhaps not," Clay replied reconsidering. "I'll have you dealt with later." "Ah! Vaux what are you doing in there?" Vic asked nervously as he hurried into the office.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 23 "Just talking to him," Vaux said. "Vaux, you don't just talk to him, he's dangerous!" Vic implored. "That's right I am," Cooper agreed and promptly scored a direct hit on Vic's head with an empty vodka bottle. Vic stumbled backward and crashed to the hallway floor. "I see my time is up," Vaux said and hurried out. "What a jerkwad," Vic spat picking himself off the ground. "Yes I guess he is a dillgravy," Vaux agreed. "A what?" Vic asked. "Hey you two!" came McGowen's voice. The two turned. McGowen and several members of the security staff stood around him glaring at them. "What is it?" Vaux queried. "Do you have anything to do with this?" McGowen snapped. Several more guards arrived holding a skeleton. "What about it?" Vic asked rubbing his head. "It's a skeleton isn't it? Albeit a fake one," McGowen said. "But there's nothing wrong so far…until…" McGowen made a gesture. One of his officers pressed a button on the skeleton. It started walking, right towards them. They both tensed at its approach. "Greetings comrades, I am the Skeleton of the October Revolution," it said. "You were right to suspect us," Vaux admitted. "But this isn't one of ours." "I saw something like this in Mister Grusikov's class though," Vic added. "Perhaps there is a connection," McGowen responded. "Very well, I guess we let you go this time." "It must be a historic occasion then," Vic said in reply "You getting fresh with me son?" McGowen growled angrily. Vaux had since struck up a conversation with the skeleton. "Let's go men, and bring that stupid skeleton along too!" the Chief ordered. "What'd you call me?" Vaux shouted and began to throttle the skeleton. "Just what do you expect to accomplish there comrade?" the skeleton wondered. "You'd be surprised!" Vaux shouted. The guards grabbed the skeleton and hauled it off leaving the two boys alone for the moment. They were soon on their merry way. "What a bunch of pathetic morons," Cooper muttered from his desk after listening to the exchange. He stared at the desk and started to wonder why he was in this accursed place. "How interesting," came another voice. "WHAT NOW?" The President yelled and looked up. "That's no way to treat a fellow Byzantine Son," said the man standing in the doorway. "Richard Samuels, what brings you by?" Cooper asked regaining his composure.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 24 "The organization is becoming concerned," Samuels responded entering the office and slamming the door. "The organization," Cooper sneered. "You'd be wise to respect it!" Samuels said. "The Byzantine Sons have run this town since its incorporation. We are the social leaders of this era." "You forget I'm the President here," Cooper replied. "Indeed you are, but only because we allow it, and might I add, that it is your arrogance that has left us open to attack. What of that Vice President of yours, how did he get elected?" "The senior prank vote. What could I do?" Cooper asked. "Apparently nothing, but that only showcases your ineptitude!" Samuels declared. "We maintain power by being better than everyone else. You are a disgrace." "Just what are you talking about?" the President asked rising from his chair. "As the upper class society of this town we are supposed to be above reprove. Oh we may do things unethical, immoral, and downright rude, but no one is to know about it outside of our circles. You however have made it abundantly clear to everyone just how flawed we are. Your drunken behavior, and the accidents, and your failed attempts at promiscuity have drawn attention away from the fact that we are superior and more toward what an ass you are!" Samuels yelled. "So?" Cooper asked. "SO! If the common people get it into their heads that we're not the great leaders we appear to be they will move against us, as is happening here. Everywhere else in town things are the status quo. We are in control, but here we are challenged! You are counterproductive! You flaunt yourself and have made it difficult for all of us." "And just what are you going to do about it?" The President challenged. "That depends. It would save us face if you were to shape up rather than having to replace you," Samuels admitted. "Is that all?" Cooper hissed. "That's right," Samuels said. "Either you start behaving like a true patrician should, at least in public, or else!" Samuels turned and strode for the door. He opened it and slammed it behind him, then opened it again and slammed it a second time. "Ingrate. Who does he think he is?" Cooper said. "I don't listen to anyone." The door swung back open. "Oh now what!" Cooper screamed. The skeleton popped his head in. "You know comrade, it is not too late to abandon the evils of a free market system and embrace true communist philosophy," it remarked. Cooper scowled as security guards grabbed the skinless Soviet and carried it off…Oooooooo look at what we have here. Intrigue! Wow! This will really pick the story up out of the slop filled ditch it had sunk into. Our author has saved the day, oh yes look at all the dramatic intrasocial politics! Yippee! I grow tired of your opinions. Not as tired as your audience must be. Wow just what will happen next?

Football Locker Room. Every high school has a football team and despite all that Conrad still managed to have one…Strange logic. Complexity and Lucio were on the team, and they always gave one hundred and fourteen point eight-two percent…What? How can they give that exact percentage? I have learned not to ask those sorts of questions. Coach William Pitt walked into the team room and let the one light bulb suspended from the ceiling illuminate his buzz cut topped head. He looked over the assembled young men. His eyes were filled with fire. "All right then!" Pitt shouted. "Now because we're a team! A team that needs to cooperate! We're going to go to the bathroom together." "Yeah okay coach," the whole team groaned. "WHAT!" the Coach screamed. "Yeah, we're going!" the team urgently agreed. "Let's go," Pitt commanded and the group all headed into the bathroom. "We only have four urinals…" one of the guys pointed out. "Oh," Pitt replied. "Double up or something." "Uh…that'll only let eight people go coach," another player explained. "Fine! Eight of you go! The others watch!" Pitt shouted. The team all glanced at him. "Aw come on! Cooperation! Team unity here!" Pitt said and began to chew on a role of masking tape. Everyone sighed. "It could be worse," Lucio tried to convince himself. "Hey I don't know what everyone's problem is," Complexity said. "This isn't the first time I've urinated in front a crowd." "It isn't?" Lucio asked regretfully. "No remember last year at the March of Dimes assembly?" "Oh that," Lucio remembered. "Twenty-eight feet they measured," Complexity said proudly. Measured what? Don't ask. I mean I know that's a cliché, but really do not ask. It's just not somewhere anyone should go. It's… beyond crude…it's I don't know…it's just vile and disgusting beyond the realm of even a sadistic psychoanalytical satanic Santa's imaginative process. That was gratuitous. Yet it was the right thing to do.

Conrad High School, Auditorium. The once white left wall of the auditorium was dingy and gray, stained with water damage and a rare burn mark. It's counterpart to the right was long gone. The cement had been knocked down by many a calamity, and instead a temporary aluminum structure was hastily fastened to pilings spread throughout. In a strong wind the wall would creak and squeal and attempt to escape its captivity, though it had yet to succeed. The rows of seats culminated in a large open area like…all auditoriums do… and there sat the Student Council leaders behind a fold up table of low quality. Cooper sat in the center, Secretary Sagacity Lewiston sat to his left, and "Chalky" Burrows, Quarterback and Treasurer, sat to his right. Dave was sitting over in the front row with Stiegg…OH WOW. A football quarterback in a high school novel? YOU FUCKING REBEL. "Okay guys. We've got a big dance coming up," Clay announced. "Sagacity, would you care to comment?" "No," Sagacity said. "How about you Chalky?" Clay asked. "Hey…you know…let's…you know…hey!" Chalky yammered and started clapping. A bunch of students joined in…You watch too much Daria. Hey hey hey hey woah woah. Different characters, totally different. "Doesn't anyone have anything to say?" Clay asked honestly surprised that no one had anything to add. "Mr. President," Dave said standing. "Dave," Clay muttered and shook his head. "I'd like to know why we're having another dance when the last one resulted in a small riot started by a group of drunken jackasses which lead to their eventual arrest." "That is an insult. We're not jackasses, and the charges were dropped," Clay shouted. "Yeah. It didn't go on our records, court said," Lewiston added. "You tell 'em! We were out of jail that night! I was rocking the interstate at two A.M.!" Chalky shouted. "YEAH!" He got up and did the "yes" motion before sitting back down…You against drinking there captain white bread? Not at all. I'm against assholes. Give an asshole a beer and the world sighs, but all the good people should enjoy their libations. Cheers! Well then… "All I see this as is spending money to buy trouble," Dave stated. "Noted…soup can…" Cooper spat. "Let the record also state you're just jealous because you can't get a girl to go out with you," Clay continued. "That fact doesn't produce jealously, it produces relief," Dave answered. "He's got you there," Chalky said. "Hey!" he said happily and started clapping. "Eghhhhhhhh," Clay exhaled and pointed in Dave's direction. "Listen you ingrate! I'm richer than all of you, and what I say goes, got it?" "Say Clay, I have a nicer car than you do," Chalky responded. "Hey!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 27 "Oh do you Chalky?" Clay snapped. "Sure you've got a Mercedes. I've got a Jag. Go! Go! Go!" "You had a Jag until you crashed into that tree, and the tree behind it," Clay said coldly. "Wanna go?" Chalky asked as he raised his fists. "Hey guys. Stop fighting. We all know Chalky's the only real man around here," Sagacity said. "What?" Clay shouted. "I can have you all bought and paid for!" As a conflict erupted among the rich kids on the council, Dave and Stiegg slipped out a side door into Hallway A. "Our meetings always end this way," Stiegg observed. "That's what you get for living in the suburbs," Dave replied. "I have to go…business…uh…elsewhere," Stiegg said anxiously. "Why are you so nervous?" Dave asked. "Oh…you know…ring around the collar," Stiegg answered weakly and hastened from the building.

Electronics Room. Plague smiled as he connected two wires. Sitting in front of him was a large device covered with various warning labels. "Danger: Radioactive." "Warning: Poison Gas." "Noxious Fumes Alert." "Wuan Is Cooking." "Hmm…how did that one get there?" Plague muttered and snapped his fingers. In a puff of smoke five feet away, Wuan, a popular television cook, appeared. "Greetings, Wuan," Plague said in a very scratchy sadistic voice. "Uh hi. What am I doing here?" Wuan asked. "To be perfectly honest, I am hoping you can explain this label to me," Plague said. "Oh…um…that label? Say is that a Veseteron Mark Eight Nuclear Fission Destruction Device by any chance?" Wuan questioned. "NO! It is not!" Plague bellowed. "But you are close," he added calmly. "This is the Scotzatron Mark Four Nuclear Fission All Purpose Destruction Device. Not only does it contain a nuclear weapon, but it will soon contain a poison gas to kill whoever's left after the fallout, and to top it all off we will add a form of living napalm also present to make sure everyone dies." "Very creative. Have you made sure to account for the thermodynamic principles involved in combining these weapons?" Wuan asked. "Why yes Wuan, we have. Now about the label." "I don't know how it got there, maybe one of your friends visited my show or something," Wuan said. "Perhaps…." Plague growled. A second later Vaux appeared next to Wuan. The new arrival wore a scarlet robe. Atop his head sat a crown

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 28 with a trapezoid sticking out from the top of it. "What the hell?" Wuan asked. "That's what we usually say," Plague said. "Vaux. This is Wuan." "You're my idol!" Vaux shouted. "Hey I remember you, you bastard! I told you not to touch that chicken! I've got a restraining order for you," Wuan exclaimed angrily and handed Vaux a piece of paper. "Wow!" Vaux said happily. "Vaux! Are you responsible for this?" Plague asked pointing at the label. "Um…no?" Vaux lied hesitantly. "Wrong answer!" Plague cried and blew Vaux apart into each of his constituent atoms. "Say…if he had admitted it…what would have happened?" Wuan asked. "Let me show you," Plague replied with a brief smile and reconstructed Vaux. "Wow! Thanks for reviving me," Vaux had the chance to say before exploding into his each of his constituent atoms again. "So there was no difference…" Wuan realized. "I'm just evil," Plague confirmed. "Can I go back home now?" "Sure," Plague said and Wuan disappeared. Seconds later Vaux reappeared yet again. "Vaux! Stay away from the weaponry or I will replace your blood with hot sauce," Plague threatened. "Right…Sorry." "Fine. Now go," Plague commanded and Vaux disappeared. Plague was a dimensional being. As a result of this he had some very cool powers, which were only made more powerful by his possession of the Stone of Kuc, one of the five mystical Stones of Rhigarr. He was enrolled at Conrad as a high school student, but he really had minimal need of education. The dark master was merely studying the humans to educate himself about future potential conquests. Plague did put a lot of work into his electronics studies though as that was one area he needed training. Knowledge of that field was very useful to his plans. He couldn't just conjure up a working Scotzatron Mark Four Nuclear Fission All Purpose Destruction Device with his almost godlike powers, he needed technical skills for that. One of Plague's few weaknesses is that he cannot not exist in one dimension constantly. This requires him to return back to his own realm after several hours. This is likely the only reason the world hasn't fallen to his conquests already as he just hasn't had the time… This is insane…are you serious? Oh… Connery entered. "This is really coming along," Connery noted examining all the nooks and crannies of the awful device. "Indeed, soon, we can set the plan into motion," Plague said. "That sounds so cliché." "True, however it is also true we have a plan, and it's a good one, and once implemented…our days are coming," Connery responded patting the device. "A new order is at hand."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 29 Locker Room. After the team unity bathroom exercise was complete the football players reassembled in the team room. "That exercise was done ok, but it still needs some work," Pitt declared. "Anyway…This week we're playing well and we've been all pumped up, but I want us to be tough. Real tough! You guys know what that means!" The group whooped in reply. "NOW! To make us tough what we're going to do is run straight into a wall!" he wailed. "Isn't that like the 'Hail the Door' exercise coach?" one of the players asked. "No! Because this is a wall! You know the difference between a door and a wall?" "Yeah," the player responded. "Damn right! Let's go!" The coach shouted. "Finally we're getting somewhere," Complexity said as they hustled out the door. "Uh…have you seen Vaux?" Lucio asked. "No, I haven't. He said something about Trapezoids, and some coronation or something. You know how he is," Complexity remarked. After a short walk, the entire team found themselves outside standing in front of the large metal blue temporary auditorium wall. "Now conveniently there is a wall here," Coach Pitt stated gesturing with a hammer. "On three, you're all going to run into it." "Aren't you going to as well coach?" a player asked. "As well?" Pitt asked. "As well? Come 'ere." The player slowly moved forward. "Yes coach?" the kid asked. Pitt hit him over the head with the hammer. The player fortunately was wearing his helmet. "Got me?" Pitt growled. "Hey yeah coach," the kid replied and slowly moved off. "Coach, I'm here!" Burrows cried running up in uniform. "My meeting got over with." "You're just in time for the wall," Pitt announced. "Aw…wait coach…the wall…is uh…not…uh…hmm…I don't want to run into the wall coach." "Oh…okay," Pitt relented. "The rest of you then!" "Hey coach. You didn't tell us why you weren't going to run into the wall," Lucio said. "Oh that. Listen you guys must think I haven't run into a wall before? The hell I haven't! I run into walls all the time! My wife left me because instead of kissing her, I ran into a wall! Hell I ran into a wall on my wedding day, then I kicked the best man's ass! Any other questions?" "No," the team said urgently in unison. "All right then! 1…2…3!" Pitt shouted and the team rushed toward the wall. Now this is where I sort of have to draw the line. Oh?

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 30 Yes, people just don't take the blunt trauma sustained from doors, walls, and hammers as well as you suggest they do. I suppose you have some fancy "statistics" or "figures" to "back" you "up." I believe that was an excessive use of quotes.

Electronics Room. "Listen Colonel Gonzalez, your revolution won't succeed without guns," Plague was saying staring at the uniformed figure whose projection floated in vapor in front of him. "Señor, I realize my position, but the Emerald of Malaises is a sacred object to my people," Colonel Gonzalez answered. "I need it. Otherwise, no deal," Plague said. The Colonel hesitated. "Very well Señor, but the Emerald is said to be cursed if it is in the hand of a foreigner." "Don't worry about that. I'll worry about that," Plague responded. "Very well, when can we expect delivery of the arms?" Gonzalez asked. "As soon as I get the Emerald of Malaises," Plague indicated. "Understood, farewell until then," Colonel Gonzalez said. The vapor vanished at Plague's insistence. "Excellent! I will soon be one step closer to obtaining the key to the Library of the Ancients!" Connery walked in seconds later. "Did I miss anything?" he asked grabbing a lab coat from the wall. "Nothing important to you," Plague replied. "Oh I dunno," a voice interjected. "It seemed very important." The two stepped back worriedly as Strika Addendum shimmered into view. "Strika Addendum!" Plague shouted and readied his powers. His hands glowed green and his brow furrowed. "Now now, I'm not here to fight. You know we'd obliterate half the town," Strika responded. "My support for that idea depends on which half," Connery mentioned. "Where your standing would be ground zero," Strika said with a giant smile. "Then I'm opposed," Connery said. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Plague bellowed. "To defeat you of course," Strika said with a smile. "Build all the weapons you like. The Stones of Rhigarr are what matter." "I will get the Stones," Plague snapped. "Sure, sure," she said with a grin. "I just thought I'd drop by and say hello." With that she vanished in a puff of Phosphorous. "Infernal creature," Plague hissed.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 31 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! EXCITING! WOOOAH, GET ME SOME FLUIDS! Hey I'm trying to end on a cliffhanger. I'll hang you. With that…the narrator fell out a window.

I'm coming back up! You just wait! I've got a butterfly knife! Put down the knife. The hell I will. It was an accident. I'll just keep this with me. You kill me and you don't get paid. I know that. You can trust me. No I can't, but then again, I created you. I can destroy you, now sit down. Right. Hey! I was just stretching. I saw that. It was nothing. It had better have been.

Serpent's Cavern. Jameson pulled open the front door to the massive gaming store to find the only occupant was Tamrisu. The short gamer was leafing through a Dragon Ball Z manga with little indication of satisfaction. "Slow day?" the swordsman asked. "A bunch of our players are preparing for the Dragonlordian game later. The rest are off on a quest," Tamrisu answered slowly placing the comic on the table. Dragonlordian, the world's hottest role playing game sensation, was a game in which players utilized cards with various characters, magic spells, weapons, foods, air conditioner parts…ahem…strange…and other such things to attack and try to kill each other essentially. "We expect two hundred people at least. It'll be a brawl," Tamrisu said drowsily. "But it will also be quite exciting." "Tamrisu, have you realized you barely show emotion?" Jameson asked. "Do I care?" Tamrisu questioned in reply. "Probably not. Plague gave me a message for you. The hens have left the caboose now." "Oh. The nuns fly at midnight," Tamrisu responded. "I see. We must move quickly," Jameson realized. "Yes," Tamrisu agreed. Care to explain that scene to me?

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 33 I'm afraid that's just not possible. Why not? I don't really understand it myself. May I remind you that you did write it? I've done many things I'm not proud of. I don't doubt it. What? Haven't you ever made an ass of yourself? There was this one time over on Baker Street, but that's not really important. It's quite embarrassing and I'd rather that it didn't get out. Why do I get the impression that those rumors that you were deported from your native country are indeed true? They're all lies! I left my country on my own free will! That's not what The Times said. What did they say? They said that a well-known British narrator, known for his work on several education videos, was deported by authorities for an embarrassing attempt to play "God Save the Queen" on a kazoo in her presence. Where did you get that? So it is true. It is not. The Times is a tabloid. Since when? It's always been that way. That's not true and you know it. You got deported. Hah hah. Shut up about it you bloody peasant! Hah hah. I was warned about Americans. Let's just forget about it and get on with the story. Fine. Where were we? Right here. In the meantime, a pizza had arrived at Serpent's Cavern. "This thing looks like it has got spore molds on it," Jameson said examining the cheese. "Jameson. I really don't think you need to worry about spore molds when eating pizza," Tamrisu answered with a yawn, but then proceeded to examine it. "Where'd it come from anyway?" Tamrisu asked. "I don't know." "That's your problem," Tamrisu said. Vic and Vaux entered the store and managed to trip and crash into an aisle full of miniatures from the HAMWARRIOR 30K gaming system.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 34 "Dammit be careful!" Jameson snapped. "It was his fault!" Vic shouted and threw five 20 sided dice at Vaux. Vaux responded with a well aimed barrage of 4 sided dice. The triangular dice embedded themselves all over Vic causing him to cry out in pain and collapse to the floor briefly. "Stop that!" Jameson barked. "Now listen up. Do you want free pizza?" "Of course," Vaux said and approached as Vic remained on the floor clutching his skin. "Each of you can have a slice," Tamrisu explained. Vaux reached in and grabbed one. Vic slowly rose and staggered over to the table. Soon he also had a slice in hand. They sat at the table eating slowly while Jameson and Tamrisu glared at them waiting for the verdict. "Tasty," Vaux expressed as the last of the slice was consumed. "I feel tingling," Vic said. "It was spores," Tamrisu quietly concluded. "What? Hey! Did this pizza have spores in it?" Vic asked with disappointment. "Yes," Tamrisu replied drowsily. "Oh well," Vic muttered before collapsing to the familiar ground and twitching. Vaux continued to stand. "How come Vaux is still standing?" Tamrisu wondered. "Spores have different effects on different people," Jameson replied. "I don't feel so good guys. I feel like I'm about to throw up," Vaux said. "Don't say that. We just had the table washed," Jameson said. "Don't worry. You may die before you get the chance," Tamrisu added. "Real comforting. Here it comes," Vaux said. As he made the usual motions to throw up, all that came out was a small black object which landed on the table. "Woah. What was that?" Tamrisu asked. "There. On the table. He threw up Garth Vedder," Jameson said pointing. Sure enough a small fully poseable black helmeted Garth Vedder action figure was standing on the table. Who is Garth Vedder? Just a random evil villain parody. "I am your brother," Vedder announced. Vaux meanwhile had joined Vic on the floor in a state of twitching illness. "So what do we do with it?" Tamrisu asked. "I wouldn't know," Jameson admitted. "You were the student, now I am the student," Vedder said. A large group of armored warriors stormed in the door carrying a large scaled carcass with them. "We slew the golden dragon!" they shouted. "Bring on the mead and the ale!" "They finally got it!" Jameson exclaimed with amazement.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 35 "Hmm…impressive," Tamrisu said with as much admiration as she could ever muster. "You are no match for our skill Tamrisu," one of the fighters said. "We will beat you at your Dragonlordian game and take home the spoils." "There are no spoils," Tamrisu stated. "We get a T-shirt don't we?" the fighter responded. "Well…yes." "Huzzah!" the warriors shouted. "Um Tamrisu?" came a voice from the door. The origin was an axeman who was peering out the window. "What is it now?" Tamrisu muttered. "The emissaries have returned," the axeman said. "Have they now?" Tamrisu responded with disgust and slowly walked to the door. She pushed it open as the others followed out in the parking lot. The green Ford sat there. Sebastian stared at them flanked by Nei and Prim. "You are wasting my time," Tamrisu asserted weakly. "Depart or face consequences from whoever feels up to it." "Aye!" shouted several of the pikemen beside her. "An unfortunate answer," Sebastian remarked. "If violence is what you want, we practically barrel it and sell it." "Not your best line," Prim whispered. "However!" Sebastian added ignoring the critique. "Seru's patience is renowned so I ask you again to reconsider hostilities. For honestly your own good as opposed to ours." No one noticed Strika Addendum appearing on the rooftop above and watching the proceedings with a grin. The various store denizens swung their weapons into position. "The answer is still the same," Tamrisu stated. "Leave now." "Bastard!" Nei shouted. Sebastian grinned. "I was hoping you would say that. I will enjoy the consequences of your response." Tamrisu shrugged. With that the three got back into Sebastian's car and drove away. "You really really really sure this is the right answer?" Jameson asked. "Was yesterday. I am today, please stop trying to reason with me," Tamrisu answered tiredly and walked inside the store. The dragon corpse was spread across multiple tables. "Uh Tamrisu, we smashed your action figure by accident," one of the warriors said nervously. "It was for the best," Tamrisu responded. "Let's get the game going…and put that dragon out back! You just going to leave it lying there!?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 36 Conrad High School. Stiegg ducked out a side door. He glanced in his pocket to make sure he had all the materials he would need to construct a fake passport, and then assured himself he was ready. He moved across the relatively vacant parking lot to his minivan and climbed inside the driver's seat. He started up the car with a flick of his hand. His radio immediately turned on, and the sound of the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra erupted through the car. The sound was an interesting cacophony of bagpipes and violin combined with the sounds of forks being dug into the stage. The minivan had traveled ten feet before a body slammed into the windshield. Stiegg swiftly hit the brakes. As he climbed out he found Complexity lying on the pavement. "Complexity. What's going on?" Stiegg asked in surprise. "We're all getting kicked over the goal post because it builds team unity. See if we all know what it's like to be the ball, we'll be even more mentally prepared," Complexity responded weakly and slowly rose. More football players went flying by and hitting the pavement. Lucio smashed into Stiegg's hood and rolled off to a standing position…Pain! Do you have any concept of what that is?! Of course, let me show you. URGHHH NO. "Are you okay Lucio?" Stiegg questioned with further surprise. "I am a football player," Lucio answered and headed back toward the field. "Bullocks. My spine," he groaned. "Hell yeah!" Complexity wailed and followed him. Stiegg just sighed, but he had a problem. His windshield was completely destroyed, and the van had been hit several more times by errant players. He realized he required different transportation. The Vauxmobile sat nearby unscathed. It wasn't technically wrong to steal it. Vaux was always letting people borrow his van, and for some reason they always brought it back in one piece. Plus Vaux wasn't there. Stiegg didn't know where he had gone, but that was hardly the point. He pulled out the key to the vehicle that Connery had stolen, copied, and distributed and entered. "Hello Vaux," came a voice as Stiegg turned the ignition key. "Oh, it's just the on-board computer," he reminded himself after being momentarily startled. "You're not Vaux," the computer said. "No. He's just letting me borrow the car," Stiegg lied. "And you are?" "Stiegg." "Welcome Stiegg. I hope you will enjoy the use of the Vauxmobile." "Yeah, sure," Stiegg replied and started pulling out of the parking lot. "Uh computer? Can this van go one- hundred-seventy?" "Theoretically yes." "Good, the police cars can't go that fast." "I see. Where are we going?" "You'll see." "I have no eyes." "Guess you don't," Stiegg said. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 37 "Oh it's nothing. I mean why would they want us to have eyes anyway? I'm just a computer." "Still, it does seem a little unfair. The only thing that makes you different from me is that instead of being a flesh and blood human, you're a small electronic thing sitting on a car dashboard." "I try to make the best of it," the computer expressed. Stiegg merged onto Interstate 84 using a nearby ramp. "Uh…Stiegg?" the computer asked. "What is it?" Stiegg asked in reply. "I was just curious." "Yeah?" "Have you ever found yourself questioning whether a woman could really give you all that you wanted in a romantic partnership?" the computer inquired. "I uh…don't know. Why?" "I was just asking," the computer stated awkwardly. "Are you coming onto me?" "No…no. Of course not," the computer answered. "No no no…" Stiegg sighed. There's no turning back now. He thought.

Interstate 84. Vic and Vaux had recovered from their spore attack and now perched on the divider of the four lane highway with a couple of buckets of soap and water, as well as some rags. "Vaux, this is a bad idea," Vic observed. "What's wrong with being entrepreneurs?" Vaux responded. "Vaux! We're standing in the middle of the highway waiting for the chance to wash people's windshields! They don't stop! That's why it's the highway," Vic said with great exasperation. "But if they do stop we'll have the market cornered." "I can't believe I agreed to this and for that matter how'd we get out here anyway?" Vic wondered. "Vic. Try and envision the big picture," Vaux implored. "What big picture?" Vic said. "There is no big picture! We're just standing out in the middle of a highway trying to wash cars, but it won't work. I can assure you of that!" "That maybe true…" Vaux conceded. He began to pace back and forth on top of the divider. "…but you're not seeing the larger goals of this operation," he continued. "Gum?" He held out a pack towards his friend, but Vic waved it away. Vaux shrugged and began to chew on a piece. "I mean, just what could this possibly accomplish? AND HOW DID WE GET OUT HERE!" Vic exclaimed. Vaux held up his hand and continued to chew. "I mean no one's managed to cross this highway before…just the thought of getting through four lanes of traffic…Leonard did it sure…but…Leonard was an idiot…he didn't even hold out for twenty bucks…he went for

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 38 ten…wait no…that was someone else…and he didn't make it. Leonard…no he was the guy who crossed the street and then realized he had to come back, but…he died," Vic rambled as his panic grew. Vaux blew a bubble. "But he did it. Still, we only made it to the center and it baffles the mind. It's as if my consciousness left me as I was crossing the road. Perhaps it was trying to escape. I really don't blame it," Vic continued. Vaux continued to blow. "And what was going on with that Council of Trapezoids? I'm sick of your polygonal cults!" Vic shouted. Vaux's bubble popped spraying gum all over a car's windshield. The car skidded and hit the divider resulting in a gigantic chain reaction accident. Vehicles collided and the pileup stretched back a half mile. "AND LOOK AT THAT!" Vic shrieked. "We got them to stop," Vaux responded and grabbed the washing materials. Methodically he began to scrub the cars in their various states of destruction. "Oh. This one's dead…he won't pay," Vaux muttered. "This is gruesome," Vic said. "Then again it's like I always said. The dead can't get angry and kick your ass." "Especially when they don't have legs anymore," Vaux remarked "Or rather, legs no longer attached to their bodies. Woah hey I had a car like this once…then they blew it up." "Who's they?" Vic asked. "I don't remember," Vaux realized. Plague appeared next to them in a cloud of Nitrogen. "What the hell? I heard there was a large amount of chaos of destruction down here and that I wasn't responsible for it! What happened?" Plague snapped. "It's a long story," Vic answered. "I don't want to hear it," Plague growled. "Still…souls without bodies, this could be quite productive," he admitted glancing at the brutal carnage. "Yeah, souls, there you go," Vic said nervously. Plague scowled at him. "Take this," he said and handed Vic a baseball bat he had just created with his powers. "Oh…uh…thanks," Vic said. Plague blinked and the bat began to hit Vic in the head. "You should always be wary of dark demonic lords of darkness giving out baseball bats, and I don't like to do my own dirty work when it concerns such a Homo Inferior as yourself," Plague snarled and headed off to collect souls. "Hey Vic! Where'd you get that cool bat?" Vaux asked. "Can't remember…memory centers…destroyed by head trauma," Vic stammered before collapsing. The bat fell out of his hand and clattered to the pavement…Oh, so now head trauma can kill someone! "Wow," Vaux said and picked up the bat. It sat motionless in his hand.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 39 "Strange," Vaux noted. "It was pretty active with Vic a second ago." He crumpled to the ground a second later. Plague strode up and kicked Vaux. "It's also wise to beware of wooden bats with the ability to transmit to you the anthrax virus," he mused and made the bat disappear before returning to his soul catching. At the edge of the accident Stiegg was tensely watching the total lack of movement. "Come on, come on, no no not right now," he said between gasps. "What is wrong Stiegg?" the computer questioned. "We need to get out of here!" Stiegg exclaimed. "Very well," the computer responded. In an instant the tires of the van had inflated to a giant size and in cartoonish fashion the van lifted off the ground held aloft. The Vauxmobile floated majestically over the accident zone and set itself down beyond it. "That was amazing!" Stiegg shouted. "Thank you," the computer answered. "Onward!" A black SUV with lights and sirens flashing darted off a ramp and gained on the van quickly. "No no no no no no! How did they find me already?" he cried and hit the gas.

Elsewhere. Much later that night, The Sheriff of Conrad County, Jethro Hill pulled his '78 Plymouth to a stop. The flashing beacon atop the car illuminated the scene in front of him with an eerie glow of red and blue light. He stepped from the car pulling out his flashlight as he did. The car wreck was extensive as the Mercedes was overturned in a ditch. Oil was streaming down from the obliterated engine area and pooling into a beautifully multicolored puddle. As Hill got closer he made out the seal of the Conrad High Student Council emblazoned on the door. In the seat beyond the door frame, the President of the Student Council, Clayton Cooper, sat lifeless. "Fuck…" the Sheriff exclaimed as two more squad cars rolled up. He turned as his top deputies, Gofer and Gunch hurried up. "Call the Coroner," he ordered. "This could be an accident…but I reckon it's not."

Conrad High School. Vic didn't like beaches, and that's why he was no where near one. Instead, he was standing on Conrad High School's roof. He was trying to look calm and collected despite the fact that fire arrows were flying by him at a rapidly increasing rate. "Hey! Are you done yet?" Vic shouted. "No!" Plague yelled from the parking lot below as he lowered his bow. "But this is dangerous!" Vic exclaimed. "There's nothing else up there to aim at!" Plague replied. "But what if you hit me?" "I'll simply use my powers to heal you!" "You'd better," Vic wailed as another arrow flew over his head. "And if I didn't?" Plague asked. "Oh…I don't know," Vic realized. "Exactly."

Lobby. Leaning against a bare concrete wall was none other than Complexity. He glared at anyone who passed by. A few chose to glare back. "Jackass…" Complexity spat. Another student passed by and stared at him. "What you looking at? You want some of this?" Complexity snapped. "So Complexity, out for your early morning scowling again?" Connery asked as he sauntered up. "You know what? You can go to hell," Complexity replied. "Complexity, you must have to have figured out by now that I'm immune to your ramblings," Connery replied smartly. "Oh…really?" "Yes." The two turned and stared at each other. Their glaring increased as they continued looking eye to eye. Minutes passed until finally Complexity blinked. "Hah! My undefeated streak continues," Connery said. "Hi Complexity," someone said walking by. "Oh hey," Complexity answered managing to smile. The person turned the corner.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 41 "Assbutt," Complexity muttered. "Have I missed anything?" Stiegg asked emerging from the men's room. "You prick!" Complexity shouted. "Complexity's being himself again," Connery explained. "I am not! You bastard!" Complexity howled. He then proceeded to run off and circle the school once before returning. "You know it's nice outside," Complexity observed. "The rose in bloom, will soon predict the doom," Connery recited. "How poetic," Stiegg commented "I got your poetic stuff right here," Complexity grunted. "Where?" Connery asked. "Um…here," Complexity answered. "Where?" Connery pressed. "Here!" Complexity screamed. "I don't think so," the mad scientist answered. "Well you can go to hell!" "You already said that," Connery said. "Oh…well…you know what…you can go to hell!" Connery wound up for a witty rejoinder only to be interrupted by a cartilage curdling scream from outside as a flaming Vic descended from the roof with great rapidity. He smashed into a picnic table and lay prone. "Plague you hit me!" He hollered. "Embrace your pain! It is all you have!" Plague roared.

Chief Executive's Office. Acting Principal Curtiss was attempting to sip down some mediocre green tea when McGowen rushed in. "Ma'am, I think we gotta do something about Mister Grusikov," he declared. Curtiss put the tea down but managed to dribble some onto her paper work. She cursed and wiped it up with some other less important paper work. "Why exactly?" she finally asked. "Because he's a Soviet agent," McGowen responded. "What the fuck?" she asked. "The Soviet Union collapsed years ago," the Acting Principal reminded him. "That's what they all want us to think. Look I'm telling you this guy is a red, and if we don't deal with him there's going to be consequences," McGowen responded. "Do you have evidence?" "Evidence is entirely overrated. Instinct is what matters," McGowen. "You've said such things before, but I need hard facts."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 42 "All right, let me look into it then." "Fine, but be discrete all right?" "Of course…" "Any word on the ferrets yet?" Curtiss asked solemnly. "No ma'am, but we have discovered another problem," McGowen admitted. "Which would be?" "Come with me, please." The Security Chief led the Acting Principal out of the office. They reached a row of lockers. McGowen used a master key to open up one of the lockers at the end of a row. "Is there a weapon in there or something?" McGowen asked. "Worse," McGowen said. He pulled a grenade out of his pocket, took the pin out, tossed the grenade in the locker and shut the door. "What did you do?!" Curtiss shouted. "Stand back," McGowen said. They each took a step back swiftly. The resulting explosion swung every locker door in the row open. "You see?" McGowen asked. "That just shouldn't happen." "And what exactly should happen when you toss a grenade into a locker!" Curtiss shouted back. "Not that, I can tell you," McGowen said. "But don't worry. I've sent for an expert on it." "Oh? And where are you getting the money for all this?" the ActPrince asked still totally baffled by what had occurred. "The same place I got the money for my security staff," McGowen replied. "So who is this expert?" "Ahem…" a voice interrupted. The two turned to see Ricardo standing behind them. "The ferrets have been…dispatched," he said. "I will depart." He spun and found himself starring right into the eyes a dark haired individual. They both starred at each other. "Walter…" Ricardo said in surprise. "What's Walter doing here?" Curtiss asked recognizing the new arrival. "He's our grenade-locker-chain-reaction expert," McGowen said. "Why?" Curtiss asked. "You'll see." "You…I know," Ricardo was saying. "I never forget a face." Walter said nothing in reply and merely closed his eyes. Ricardo crumpled to the ground seconds later. Walter smiled. "How did you do that?" Curtiss asked. "I am quite talented," Walter explained sinisterly. "Now what is this problem you're having with the

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 43 lockers?" "Allow me to explain…" McGowen began. "Wait," The Acting Principal interrupted and pulled her Security Chief aside. "Are you sure about this?" Curtiss whispered. "You've gone along with everything else I've done," McGowen replied. "Why do you think I'm asking?!" "Neely's in prison. The ferrets are gone." "Fine." The two returned to where Walter stood. He grinned again. "Proceed Walter," McGowen said. Walter nodded. "This will be a mundane task, please let me work," Walter requested. The two administrators returned to the Acting Principal's office. The phone was ringing wildly. Curtiss reached over and grabbed it. A brief conversation followed. "You don't say…" Acting Principal Curtiss exclaimed in shock speaking into the phone. "Thank you," she concluded and hung up. McGowen looked her over curious as to the news. "Apparently, Clayton Cooper is dead," she reported. "I see." "They suspect foul play of some sort." "I never liked him," McGowen admitted. "He was an asshole, though I'd rather look up a goat's butt than see that kid." "We will have to make an announcement or something. Also who is the new President anyway?" the ActPrince rambled. "That'd be Dave. You'll hate him," McGowen asserted. "You want me to have him killed?" "No McGowen, be serious. He's the least of our problems," Curtiss responded. "In one sense you're correct, in another…you're not," McGowen said. "I had better tell him," Curtiss said sinking into her chair as the weight of her position grew on her. "Do you want me to find him and beat him up?" "Except for the beating part, yes…" Curtiss answered and turned towards the window. "Bring him to me," she demanded.

Cafeteria. "Ah Stiegg, where have you been?" Dave asked catching up to his friend's hurried walking towards the table. "Long story," Stiegg answered. "I still have some uh things to clear up." "What's that hole in your jacket from?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 44 "Oh. That's a bullet hole…been there for years really," Stiegg uttered nervously. "I hadn't noticed it before." "You know you never were any good at seeing bullet holes in clothing." "True enough," Dave said. "You all right?" "Positively fine," Stiegg remarked. "But look if the Customs asks for me, I'm not in. Okay?" "Like all the other times you've told me that, I'll listen," Dave said. "Thanks." The two sat down at their customary table. The rest of the rogues were already at their seats. "The game is Gow," Connery announced dispensing the contents of a 52-card deck to the group surrounding the lunch room table. Gow? Yes, it's a very large and complex game which I cannot tell you anything more about. Why? I can't tell you that either. Plague, Connery, Complexity, Lucio, Dave, and Stiegg all stared at their cards. A four of spades sat on the table. "Hmm…" Connery contemplated and placed a four of diamonds on the table. Lucio sighed and stared at his cards. He took one. "Hah!" Complexity cried placing a four of clubs on the table. Drat…" Stiegg groaned. "Uh…" He placed a five of diamonds on the pile. "Wrong!" Plague shouted flinging that card and another from a draw pile in Stiegg's face. "Ehh…what?" Stiegg asked. "Asking questions!" the table shouted throwing another card at him. "Hey!" Stiegg yelped. "I hate this game," he added. "Five second rule," Plague said placing another card in front of Stiegg. "Just play this!" Complexity snapped placing a six of clubs from Stiegg's hand onto the table. "Hah!" Dave yelped playing a seven of clubs on the table. "Have a nice day." "What? You dare!" Plague shouted drawing two cards. What is happening? Asking questions, the author replied handing the narrator a card. WHAT? You did it again, the author said handing the narrator another card. I will remember this… Connery grinned and placed the seven of diamonds on the table. "Have a nice day," he sneered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 45 Lucio sighed and took two cards. "Heh heh…have a nice day Stiegg!" Complexity said with glee as he played a seven of hearts. "WHAT!" Stiegg shouted. "Asking questions!" The table shouted. "Additional penalty for being a dumbass!" Plague growled throwing seven cards at Stiegg. The cafeteria fell into silence. Security Chief McGowen marched in followed by a good part of his security force. They began the long walk to the table. "All right," Stiegg said hesitantly and put a card down. "Wrong turn!" Plague bellowed. "AHH! COME THE FUCK ON!" "My turn," Dave declared and put a seven of hearts on the table. "Have a nice day." "You will pay for this," Plague promised and drew two more cards. "I think I'll play an ace," Connery mused putting down the ace of hearts. McGowen and company stopped at the table. Lucio played a card. "Wrong turn!" Connery snapped and gave him a card. "Wanker," Lucio spat. "You and your bloody aces! You do this every time!" "Ahem," McGowen uttered trying to interject. Plague played the ace of diamonds. "Hah," Connery said and played the ace of spades. "Well played," Plague responded and played the ace of clubs. "Hah…so there," Connery replied and played the eight of clubs. "Now!" Lucio cried and played a card. "Wrong turn!" Plague and Connery said and gave him another card. "AH! Not again!" Lucio yelped. "Welcome to my world!" Stiegg shouted. This game defies all logic. Everything in this story defies all logic. Quit your complaining. "Hah! So there," Complexity proclaimed and played a nine of clubs. "AHEM!" McGowen roared. The table turned to look at him. "Dave, ya scum! The Acting Principal wants to see you," McGowen reported. "Uh…okay," Dave answered and stood. "Five seconds," Complexity said as he handed Stiegg a card. "Dammit!" Stiegg screamed. The game continued as Dave marched out followed by the various guards…I'd imagine this will not be the only time you are lead out of a room surrounded by law enforcement Dave.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 46 Probably not. "You're just making these rules up!" Stiegg shouted. "Do not desecrate the traditions of Gow!" Plague responded. "I hate this game," Stiegg declared. "I'm sick of it too," Lucio agreed. "I don't like saying, 'have a nice day.' I hate everyone," Complexity added. "Fine, fine, we'll play spoons," Connery suggested. Plague grinned. "Yes! Let there be spoons!" Plague commanded making several appear in a cloud of vapor. The utensils clattered onto the fake wood in a pile. Complexity stood atop his chair. "SPOONS!" he called. The words cut through most of the conversations of the cafeteria and most of the students turned their attention to the table. Soon many had gathered around to watch.

Conrad Town Hall. At the edge of the center of town rose the impressive brick structure that was Conrad Town Hall. Ironically the building was the town's former high school and filled with offices of all kinds. At a far corner was the palatial suite belonging to the mayor. Superintendent Radisson stepped through the doorway into the outer office and nodded politely at the secretary. "Ella, how's the affair going?" Radisson asked. "Seven weeks and counting," Ella responded happily. "The Mayor is waiting for you," she added. Radisson grinned and strode into the giant inner office. The Mayor's sanctum was lined with lightly colored oak paneling. Crossgrave sat behind a desk constructed from other desks masterfully by the town's craftsmen. The Mayor was speaking into a phone as the Superintendent approached but gestured for his colleague to sit. "Yes, yes. Look, if they don't find the cement they can't prove that we received it, and then more cement for us! Dumbass! Look, just keep quiet about it." He hung up and reached out a hand to the new arrival. Radisson took it. "Ah, Superintendent," he greeted. "Mayor, how's the affair going?" "Which one?" "Ah…silly of me…with the Romanian?" "Pretty good," The Mayor answered. "How are you doing?" "Could be better, I get the strong suspicion the Viceroy is close to finding out about the AP phenomenon," Radisson stated. "I see…" The Mayor responded worriedly and shifted in his chair. "Just what is the AP phenomenon?" "Let me explain it to you," the Superintendent responded solemnly. "Ten years ago, before I arrived, the Board of Education faced a problem. Each of our two high schools was designed for one thousand four hundred students. Originally, anyone living on the West Side went to Welles. This included the people living in the Mansion District, the rich but not rich enough people living on the edge of the district, and the six figure families who made

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 47 up the rest. Soon there was about 2000 students floating through Welles, while only 800 went to Conrad. The result was that Welles couldn't handle the large amounts of students. The grades of the students there dropped. Meanwhile at Conrad High, there was plenty of staff and facilities to go around and so grades went up." "I see…" the Mayor followed. "That's the AP phenomenon?" "No. You see…" "Would you like some Crack?" the Mayor asked interrupting. "Sorry I should have offered at first." "No no. I'm good," Radisson answered. "Do you mind if I…" Crossgrave responded. "No no of course," the Superintendent replied. Crossgrave proceeded to get out his Crack. The Superintendent continued. "With all this grade fluctuation the West-Siders got angry and ordered a solution. The only one my predecessor could come up with was to move several hundred students from Welles to Conrad High, despite the status stigma. They did that by transferring over eight hundred students. Basically, anyone who didn't live in the Mansion District itself had to go to Conrad. So now Welles was under capacity and Conrad was above capacity. Conrad also had two diametrically opposed groups of equal size. Test scores at Welles soared and Conrad's began to decline. How they manage to turn out A students I still don't know." "So now Conrad had a group of the patricians and the rabble too?" Crossgrave asked commencing his drug use. "Essentially. Now what began to happen over these ten years is that while the B.S. and the upper class took over everything in the school that was important, something began to happen. Many of the West Side students were beginning to act differently," Radisson explained. "Differently?" "Yes. It's hard to describe what happened. Some day I'll take you by Mister Eyena's math class. That will give you a better idea. Just bear with me," the Superintendent said. "All right so they were changing. I'm guessing not for the better," Crossgrave posited. "You got it," Radisson confirmed. "The West-Siders began to act more and more like…well…the East- Siders." "So you're saying that the AP phenomenon is the gradual elimination of any class distinctions at all in the school?" Crossgrave asked happily as the Crack did its work. "More like an amalgamation of everyone into one class…that of student, which has now chosen to turn to its one commonly shared trait…wiseassiness," Radisson rambled. "You're the Superintendent of Schools for God's sake! Come up with an actual word!" Crossgrave snapped. "You know what I mean! Anyway, I think the Viceroy is worrying that his grip is finally going to slide. The West-Siders still seem to follow the B.S. philosophy, but they seem less interested in doing it for the sake of the Viceroy and more for themselves." "But this middle class student taking control of the Student Council still seems like a big deal to the Viceroy then." "Yes, but that's just actually the least of the B.S. problems," Radisson replied. "Still, I'd worry about that kid's associates. What is this I hear about something called The Vaux?" "Actually it's just a Vaux. You'd best know as little as you do," the Superintendent reasoned. "I'm worried!" the Mayor yelped rising anxiously. "This used to be a peaceful town. Sure it was because the

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 48 upper class controlled everything and we as their faithful servants gladly accepted the scraps. However, times are changing. The concept of equality is beginning to show up more and more. I'm worried, because with equality comes chaos. Equality is good, but not here, not in Conrad. Why do you think I play along with the Viceroy and his lackeys? Because for better or worse it is the system of peace and prosperity in this town. I like it here, and yet I get the sense that its people like those troublemakers at Conrad High School who are going to ruin it all." He sat back down and laughed with joy as now the Crack and his emotions were at cross purposes. "I think everyone's exaggerating. At worst the high school becomes a little more egalitarian. Aside from that, I doubt that Conrad High is going to do any damage to anything else though," the Superintendent said reassuringly.

Cafeteria. "Begin," Plague ordered and the five players furiously passed cards around to each other while all keeping an eye on the spoons in the center of the table. I'm not familiar with this game either. Simple concept. The players pass cards around until someone gets four of a kind. That person grabs a spoon. Everyone else tries too as well. There is one less spoon then there are players. So someone won't get one. That person is out for the next round. Ah. Sounds simple. The crowd observed intently as they anticipated the first move towards the spoons. They all cheered as the pace picked up and everyone tried to get as many cards as possible around the circle. Connery's hand shot out and grabbed a spoon. The other hands shot out. Plague, Lucio, and Complexity got a spoon as well. "Hah!" they shouted. "Actually," Connery said with a grin. "I didn't have four of a kind, but, you know…" He cackled. "Keep going!" Plague demanded. The game continued. "Ah!" Connery said and grabbed a spoon. The others went for them. A blackened crackling bulb flew from Plague's fist into the other side of the table and knocked Stiegg, Complexity, and Lucio from their seats. The villain grinned and took a spoon. Stiegg clambered up but Complexity tackled him. Lucio reached forward and grabbed a utensil as Complexity reached up and grabbed another…Is it supposed to be this violent? Of course. "I hate this game," Stiegg whined. Dave emerged from the crowd. "Everyone, I have an announcement," he said standing atop Stiegg's old chair. "Do we care?" Connery asked. "This might interest you," Dave replied. "Not likely," Connery guessed. "Anyway, Clay Cooper is dead, so I'm the new President," Dave announced. "Yeah, we totally don't care," most of the crowd revealed vocally. "That's what I figured," Dave replied dropping into the chair.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 49 "Though admittedly this might have value to us," Plague whispered to Connery. The genius nodded in return. "Wait a minute," Chalky Burrows said pushing his way through the scrum of student bodies. "Hey!" he said and clapped his hands over his head. The crowd cheered. "Look if you're President…that means…that you, a nerd in the middle class income bracket with no car to his name, and the fashion style of…ALF…uh…hey! Anyway, what I mean is that you…are the leader of us?" he worked through aloud. "Why yes, that's right," Dave replied with a grin. The West Side preps all cried out in horror. "I'm beginning to like this," Connery remarked. "Indeed," Plague replied.

Chief Executive's Office. Not long after the news broke at lunch, the ActPrince pulled a microphone from under her desk and placed it atop the desktop. She hesitated and built up her inner strength before turning it on. "Students of Conrad," she began. A large clamor seemed to come from every part of the building. "WHAT?" "Don't do that!" she shouted back. "OKAY!" Her inner strength left her. "Ehh….Clay Coopers is dead," she weakly announced. "SO?" the school asked. "What did I just say?!" Curtiss howled. "CLAY COOPER'S DEAD!" the students replied. "No…before that…never mind!" She shut off the microphone and threw it to the ground angrily. "McGowen!" she shrieked. McGowen happened to be lurking nearby and hastened inside. "Ma'am?" he asked hesitantly. "Make an example of some of our students!" she commanded. "Yes ma'am!" McGowen responded with vigor and turned to leave. "Actually no! I have a better idea," Curtiss thought aloud. She stood up and headed to the window. She stared out at the unimpressive scenery and sighed. "McGowen. Wouldn't you say this tragedy has had a negative effect on the students?" She asked. "Not really," McGowen answered truthfully. "And wouldn't you say that school spirit has suffered?" Curtiss continued ignoring his reply. "Nope." "Then there's only one solution. We will have a pep rally," The ActPrince concluded. "Are you sure?" McGowen said with trepidation. "What better excuse to put the fear of God into the students like a pep rally usually does? Make preparations!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 51 Room 325. The American History room was quite large. For reasons unknown, Dave and all of his friends had their desks along the back. The rest of the class sat in two rows running down each side of the room. Mister Raisin put down the book he was leafing through at his desk and rose to address the class. "Okay, ladies, gents, and the back row…let's begin our studies of the pilgrims." "Mister Raisin, it's October already and we're not past the first chapter in the textbook," Alan Tesla remarked. Raisin laughed slightly. "That's what you get," he said. "But…" Tesla pleaded. "Now moving on…hey…what's with those signs?" the teacher inquired pointing at the back. Each main character had a hastily assembled paper sign in front of them. "Everyone joined my Cabinet today," Dave responded proudly. "Manly because it annoys other people…" Connery explained. "…and in the pursuit of the destruction of those who are not worthy to remain in their current states," Plague added. The rest of the class booed them. "Ehh…stick some corn stalks down your throats you pricks!" Complexity snapped. "Allow me to introduce them. My ever competent Chief of Staff Stiegg," Dave began. The students all nodded understandingly. "My Press Secretary, Complexity," Dave said. Complexity leapt atop another student's desk. "NO FUCKING COMMENT!" he screamed with the force of a million supernovas. "You the king Complexity," the student replied meekly. "The head of Space Division…Connery," Dave continued. "Science is the cause and solution to all of our problems. It is also your problem, and my solution as you will soon see," Connery declared. "My Minister of War, High Lord of Eternal Pain, Chancellor of Suffering, Messiah of Evil et cetera… Plague." "I will preside over the Reevaluation, remember that," Plague asserted. "My Secretary of Football, Lucio…" "My position is that Conrad Football Rules!" "YEAH!" Chalky Burrows yelled bounding into the room. He high-fived several students before exiting. Raisin watched the spectacle with abject horror. Dave moved to continue. "Enough," Raisin cut him off. "I'm Secretary of Doormats!" Vaux announced. "His request, not mine," Dave added.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 52 "I will serve doormats and man alike," Vaux promised. "That's impressive," Mister Raisin muttered. "Now let's begin. The pilgrims were still five days out from Plymouth when we last left off." The class sighed and the back row immediately ceased to pay attention. Plague created several six inch tall gremlins and ordered them to start battling each other. Connery took out a piece of a computer chip and started working with it. Jameson and Tamrisu began to play each other in Dragonlordian and Complexity passed the time randomly hitting Vaux, Vic, and Lucio with a doormat. "Hey Mister Raisin, why do you let them get away with this?" one of the West Side preps asked. "Because they're beyond help," Raisin answered. "Now! The seas were calm on the Atlantic. Remember that." The class moaned again. Relief came when a loud shout from the hallway echoed throughout the room and broke the monotony. "GRUSIKOV! Hold it!" "Ah…they finally found him out," Connery observed.

Hallway E, Right Outside Room 325. Mister Grusikov looked around hurriedly. McGowen's Security force blocked both ends of the hallway. "We know the whole story Comrade Grusikov. Your Russian friends can't help you now!" McGowen boasted. McGowen has been very busy this chapter… "We're stronger than you can possibly imagine. Someday there shall be a new Soviet Union, and it'll be in North Dakota!" Grusikov shouted before swallowing a suicide pill. "Damn it! They always do that. In all my years in school security I've encountered far too many of these suicide pill swallowing types!" McGowen snapped. "Yeah! Well we all got problems. I'm not convinced my neck is really on my side anymore!" Complexity shouted popping his head out of room 325. McGowen glared at him.

Japan. Later on, Jameson once again stood in the field. The wind blew slightly as leaves swept by him. The only sound was the insects buzzing as if their lives mattered. Himura approached and stood across from him. "So…you've come again?" Himura asked. "I have," Jameson replied clutching his sword. "I have a dentist's appointment," Himura responded and started to walk off. "You will fight me!" Jameson demanded. "Dental hygiene is more important than honor," his would be opponent responded and kept walking. "Goddammit" Jameson muttered and tossed another bottle to form a portal.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 53 Serpent's Cavern. Jameson emerged out of the portal in time to watch the entire table of gamers staring at a knight clutching two dice in his hand. "You going to throw or what Argron?" Tamrisu grumpily demanded. "I am summoning my luck!" Argron responded and finally tossed the dice. "EIGHT! FUCK!" he shouted. "Eight…your roll failed, the rabbit eats you," Tamrisu reported. The room broke into laughter. "What'd I miss?" Jameson asked. "Argron here got himself beaten by a level 2 Rabbit. Something that has never occurred in the history of the game," Tamrisu said. "That's impressive," Jameson responded with sarcastic praise. "I must go on a quest to regain my honor," Argron confessed humbly and headed for the door. He hesitated as he noted movement outside. "Oh…Tamrisu…your favorite people are here." Tamrisu sighed and slowly made her way to the door yet again. "Sebastian you are such….a…" she began, but trailed off as she realized that Sebastian, while present, was not who he was addressing. Standing in front of an SUV tinted in a beautiful shade of green, much nicer than Sebastian's greenish filth, was a trio of young women. Sebastian, Prim, and Nei stood by the Ford trying to look cool but failing in the attempt. A breeze rippled dramatically across their hair and outfits. "Seru…you finally show your face," Tamrisu grumbled. "Some of us have responsibilities," Seru replied. "Wouldn't know what that's like," Tamrisu answered. "I can do the dramatic posing too," she responded and took a fighting stance while pushing pieces of her hair from side to side. "That lacks the same gravity," Jameson conceded moving to stand beside Tamrisu. "Why do you insist on bothering us in our native habitat? You have your own store," Tamrisu grumbled. "It's far too small and you know that. We should all be on the same side," Seru said. "I have given my answer repeatedly to your henchmen," Tamrisu stated. "I am no…hench…man!" Sebastian shouted tossing a rock at her. Tamrisu vaporized the projectile with a flick of her finger. "Go away. There will be no further discussion," Tamrisu declared quietly but firmly. "Burn it down," one of Seru's friends, clad in a gray cloak trimmed in purple, snapped to her right. "We're not burning anything down Tarusia…yet…" Seru said. "That would kinda screw up the plan to use the place anyway wouldn't it?" the white cloaked friend to Seru's left said. "I just want to see Tamrisu on fire, Melody," Tarusia said slowly unsheathing a wand topped with a double bladed scythe while keeping it hidden beneath the folds of the cloak.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 54 "Maybe we can make that happen and still save the building," Melody suggested gesturing with the large mage's staff in her hand. "This is a good brainstorming session. We're getting somewhere," Tarusia replied. Seru grimaced. "We don't have to have everything we do end up with something on fire," she said. Unknown to all involved, Strika had once again appeared on a rooftop to observe. "Oh my they do make things interesting in this town," she said smiling to herself. "If you want violence you can have violence!" Tamrisu shouted. A battle cry rose from the customers. "It annoys me to waste the energy though…" she added. "So depart. You gain nothing by staying." "Just remember we came to you first peacefully," Seru said. "Sending assholes to speak with us is not a peace offering," Tamrisu muttered. "Hey hey hey now," Prim said. "What's with the plural? I assure you Nei and I are upstanding human beings." "Et tu, Prim?" Sebastian asked. "Sorry…" Prim said. "No no, it's fine. In the same position I would do the same," Sebastian admitted. Seru responded with only a glare at Tamrisu before getting into the vehicle emblazoned with Tokyo-1 license plates. Tarusia and Melody joined her. She drove off and Sebastian's Ford followed. "They're not going to give up," Jameson said. "Why not? Giving up is as American as not baking an apple pie and sleeping in," Tamrisu grumbled. "Did you fight the guy?" "He had a dentist's appointment," Jameson recounted. "What a loser," Tamrisu said and headed back inside. She perched herself back on a seat. "I don't know what's going to happen next, it may be annoying. But spread the word. We need all the stout men in the land available should we call." "Huzzah!" the customers cried. "Now where were we?" Tamrisu asked. "The rabbit," Jameson responded.

Conrad-Hartford Border. While the Capitol City of Hartford was in the midst of a stunning rebirth, the border between it and Conrad was slightly seedy as some of the more run down elements of the localities converged as a result of years of neglect from the societal power structures. Still, on a busy street rose an elegant movie theater, and across from it, a small comic store crammed next to a hot dog restaurant. This store was named Realm of Comics, a strange reference to something which I am not familiar with. Realm of Comics was well stocked but completely dwarfed in size by the enormous Serpent's Cavern. At any one time a various mix of comic and anime fans of every gender were trying to make the small area

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 55 work for them. Among these customers were the women barred from entry to their rival store. Some were in armor, others inexplicably in sailor schoolgirl uniforms, though plenty were dressed you know…in everyday clothes… What the hell is going on? The various customers all parted as much as they could in the crowded setting as Seru and her friends entered. "We've got candy!" Seru said tossing the sugary goodness amidst the group. "I also have candy, but I'm eating it myself," Sebastian added. The six moved to the rear of the store amidst the back issues. "So what do we do now?" Seru asked. "Murder," Sebastian and Tarusia answered in unison and quickly exchanged glances and then nods. "No," Seru responded. "I'll blast 'em with my eggplant gun," Prim volunteered. "Isn't that just a gun that shoots eggplant?" Nei asked. "They'll surrender in embarrassment!" Prim replied happily. "You might want to just use the weapons that can actually hurt people," Nei suggested. "We could sue them?" Melody asked. "It's aggressive but not violent." "How boring! There's only so much fun you can have with a court case," Sebastian said. "Manipulating jurors, that's about it," Prim agreed. "No, no, there's always threatening witnesses," Nei reminded them. "Right right," The other two agreed and nodded. "We won't need any of that," Seru said. "I like this plan. If we can't convince the lunatics over at Serpent's Cavern, we can convince a judge." "Oh hey we can bribe the judge," Prim suggested. "Hard to do, but the benefits are many as I've learned in my short life," Sebastian said. "Let's just try…to do this without cheating…for now…" Seru muttered. "Such pure sentiment, as if you haven't used the Konami code!" Sebastian sneered. "I…use it…sometimes," Seru conceded. "Yeah but when you use it it's not even on a Konami game, how did you get it to work on Final Fantasy Ten? I've never understood that," Melody added. "I'm never telling," Seru answered. "Three summons at one time…badass…" Tarusia recalled. "Yes so let's all remember that the next time Sebastian is asked to not bend the rules, shall we?" Sebastian snapped. "Yeah because comparing cheating in a video game to your extra legal activities is totally valid. Oh hey, yeah I kidnapped those orphans but Nei used Game Genie once," Prim countered. "Don't say it like that. You make it sound like I broke into an orphanage. The orphans were in their thirties and a threat," Sebastian said in retort. "Enough, we need to focus, we have a court case to win tomorrow," Seru said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 56 Tomorrow? Wow your court system is fast when you completely detach it from reality. And yours has wigs. I win. The wigs are important!

Castle Conrad. The Viceroy stood on his balcony looking across the entire skyline of town. He clutched the balcony wall. "All of the masses sitting in their quaint little three bedroom houses…and there amidst it all…that….high school!" he snapped. "You sent for me sir?" came a voice from behind him. "Samuels…" The Viceroy muttered. "The Conrad Student Council is no longer in our hands," Samuels said. "I know that! How did it happen?" the Viceroy asked. "Senior prank sir," Samuels said. "WHAT?" The Viceroy barked. "Well…uh sir," Samuels began slowly unsure that he wasn't risking his life. "Last year's outgoing class thought it would be funny, if uh…well, while electing one of our own to the Presidency, they also, ahem…well elected a nerdy, unpopular, troublemaker with no future to be the Vice President…ahem…and given that…now we are left with this embarrassing situation." The Viceroy whirled at him. His eyebrows went diagonal. Embarrassing situation?" he snarled. "Samuels, your job is twofold. Find out who killed Cooper, and regain power at Conrad. I do not relish that a plebeian is in the Presidency," the Viceroy growled. "Use whatever means that you have to." "Violence sir?" "No, not yet, though I assure you if violence is needed, we are well prepared, but leave that to me for now." "Yes sir." "Go Samuels. Fix this." Samuels nodded and hurried from the chamber. The Viceroy returned to his glaring. "This is all ours, forever," he said defiantly.

Conrad County Courthouse. Conrad County had a small caseload given that most cases were either settled out of court or covered up. Needless to say despite my earlier skepticism, when Seru and her compatriots wanted to bring a case, the Judge was available the next day to consider if the case should go to trial or not. Soon the six were standing in the courtroom waiting. A variety of store customers filled in rows of seats behind them. "You think it's ok if we miss school for this?" Nei asked. "How are they supposed to argue if we say we're in court?" Melody responded. "They don't need to know why." A Bailiff walked into the courtroom. "I am the Bailiff, welcome to Court. Frozen yogurt is a bad idea. The honorable Judge Zap is presiding." Judge Zap entered through a saloon style door. He was resplendent in a black robe. His hair was golden and trailed down to his shoulders. The judge looked out at the litigants with piercing blue eyes…what is this? Oh yeah I kinda borrowed from the romance novel I'm working on for this description…whoops… Romance…novel…good god. "Zap," the Judge began. "Ok, so this case says here…" he murmured as he read the brief. "That…hmm…I see…where are the defendants?" "Uh well sir, we called Serpent's Cavern, apparently, everyone was in the middle of some sort of game," the Bailiff reported. "At 9:30 A.M. on a school day?" Zap inquired. "Apparently it started last night. It's called a Vortex Dungeon Battle and the players can't leave unless they hit some sort of saving throw because otherwise they could only move 2D6 meters away or something…I think I heard that right," the Bailiff explained. "The Vortex Dungeon Battle will do that," Seru, Tarusia, Melody, Sebastian, Prim, and Nei confirmed in unison. "Whatever. If they don't want to come by fine," Zap said. "According to this you say that you've been barred from this store?" "Not just us your honor," Seru said. "Anyone who's female other than Tamrisu, and not just girls…" "Us too!" came a shout. The group all whirled to see a variety of Ogres, Goblins, and several similar creatures clamber into the room. Following them were several dark clad wizards and even a few members of the undead. "We want file court brief!" an Ogre yelled. "Ahem…" one of the sorcerers said. "What he means is we want to file a friend of the court brief in support of our position." "Uh…ok…why not?" Zap agreed and shrugged. "Who told them about this?" Seru quickly asked her friends. "I did," Tarusia said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 58 "You know we can't trust them," Seru responded. "If it gets us in, we can deal with them later," Tarusia surmised. Seru contemplated the situation and then turned back to the judge. "While I personally don't trust these characters, admittedly they've also been unfairly excluded from going to the store," she stated. "Except for Sissiphor back there, he's been banned from anywhere with any standards of morals, and this is me talking!" Sebastian emphatically added. "I just don't value human life, why can't you all live with that concept? Am I so out of tune with the current congressional mandate?" Sissiphor bellowed from the back. "Enough," Zap said pounding his gavel. "This is clear cut. There can be no further ban on anyone from Serpent's Cavern unless it comes through this court! Next Case!" "Yes!" Nei shouted and launched into a video game RPG style victory dance. The others all watched worriedly.

Auditorium. At the first Student Council meeting of Dave's Presidency, only about seven members of the forty eight member council had decided to attend. Chalky Burrows and Sagacity Lewiston were nowhere in sight either. "All right, I call this meeting to order," he finally said as the lone occupant of the front table. "Where's the gavel?" "No gavel, we have a phone," one of the representatives said holding it out to him. Dave looked over the phone and accepted it. He slammed the receiver down into its holder. "Any new business?" Dave asked. "Yeah is the dance still on?" someone asked. "The dance is not on. It is cancelled," Dave declared. "What?" the seven shouted. "We need to reevaluate…" Dave began. "You're just a square man!" one of the council members shouted. "You don't even know how to dance!" another shrieked. "That has nothing to do with it…" Dave tried to explain. "We should have a dance right now!" one of the people shouted. A boombox was hastily acquired. Most of the Student Council began to dance to the less than high quality music they had on hand. Dave sighed and leaned against the table. In the back hovering in the shadows stood Richie Samuels and Chalky Burrows. "What a mockery," Samuels remarked with strong annoyance. "He must be taken down and quickly before he can do permanent damage." "Do you want me to off 'em?" Burrows questioned. "And risk a criminal investigation? We don't work that way," Samuels quickly responded. "Besides, killing him would only make him a martyr…no…we need to do this cleanly without resorting to violence. We simply must disgrace him…no…wait…he already is in disgrace. In fact no one likes him at all….hmm…then we'll just

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 59 have to impeach him somehow." "Yeah! Woo!" Burrows shouted. "Keep it down dumbass!" Samuels snapped. "Could you guys do your plotting somewhere else please?" Dave said suddenly from beside them. "What!" Samuels shouted. "Ah come on Samuels, go plan your evil schemes out of sight will ya? I've got stuff to do!" Dave urged. "Uh…ok…" Samuels muttered. "Come Chalkeford." Burrows glanced at him and the two headed out. The dance party continued. "I will destroy him," Samuels vowed as he exited into the lobby. "Yeah…rock that Kasbah!" Burrows shouted. Samuels stopped abruptly as he realized what was unfolding in front of him. Complexity, Lucio, and others were burning an effigy of Lenin. "Hah hah! Burn you dead communist bastard!" Complexity shouted. "I have to get out of this stupid school," Samuels said in realization. "Yeah!" Burrows said and raised his hand ready to accept a high five. Samuels sighed…Can I ask you something? I guess. Why did you even bother to add a plot? You're really no good at it. Well you're no good at your…face…not…looking like that…

Serpent's Cavern. "Can I have your attention please?" Jameson shouted standing atop a chair. "Yeah listen up," Tamrisu said weakly and spit a fire ball onto one of the tables. All the gaming stopped and attention turned to the pair of truants. "When did you learn to do that?" Jameson asked. Tamrisu spit a fire ball into his face. Jameson screamed out in pain. "Grudolf! Heal him!" Tamrisu shouted. A grey haired old man clambered up from the back and threw some powder onto Jameson's face. It returned to normal quickly. "Tamrisu…why did you do that!?" Jameson shouted and bonked her on the head. "You do not understand, but you will," Tamrisu responded cryptically. "So whadya want?" A third level fighter in the back said. "As you know, Serpent's Cavern, is a place where students, fighters, magicians, Elves, Halflings, as well as forty-two year old men can play games, read comic books, and have real duels…" Jameson said. The crowd roared. "…as well as a place for said people to watch Japanese animation…" Tamrisu added.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 60 "Hai!" the group yelped in Japanese. "…but in accordance with civil rights legislation we are not allowed to discriminate against anyone. So it will also be a place for certain other groups to do these things…" Jameson continued. "…like girls other than myself…" Tamrisu muttered. The crowd growled. "…and Orkes…" Jameson added. The crowd growled again. "…and the Dark Necromancer of Sissiphor," Tamrisu said. "But he feeds on human souls!" an elf in the back shouted. "What's your point?" Plague asked appearing momentarily in a cloud of Gallium. "Now, I know this is a problem," Jameson said. "But girls have cooties!" several soldiers shouted. "Yeah!" the crowd shouted. Tamrisu blasted them all with a fireball. "We do not," she muttered. "That is not the issue!" "Anyway…" Jameson said. "It's something we'll have to live with. I mean we had to deal with the same thing when we let the Dwarves in." The group moaned. "At least the Dwarves swing an axe better than anyone!" someone shouted. "Aye, and we still can!" A Dwarf shouted cutting a table in half. "I assure you though, as soon as I figure out a way out of this, we will get back what was ours," Tamrisu said and yawned. She soon fell asleep on the table.

Hallway B. Connery waited until no one was in the corridor before he positioned himself in front of a specific part in the wall. He glanced from one side to the other again before placing his hand on the cement. The section parted and he slipped inside to the small elevator beyond. With a quick motion he thumbed the down button. The elevator hummed and rumbled for a few seconds before the doors on the opposite side of the car slid open revealing the large underground…command center…what the fuck? Built over the past three years, the cavernous area was filled with banks of control panels and the customary metallic hallways leading to other subunits. Spread across the far wall was the always necessary giant view screen flashing all sorts of information…How the fuck…seriously? A trio of students were hard at work as the nefarious scientist completed his entrance. Mysterious Zak was Plague and Connery's most trusted assistant and he spent most of his time down in the center keeping watch. He got out of class due to forged paperwork he printed himself in a mill down the street from a chicken farm. Zak as usual was clad in a cardigan with an unnecessary but still stylish scarf. Beside him, one of the few good students left in Conrad High, Zaee, was intently looking at the Biology textbook she had spread across her console. Also present was Edgea, the goth, who sipped some coffee out of a skull and laughed as her tape of Nosferatu played on her own computer.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 61 "Greetings all," Connery said. "Ah, welcome Connery," Zak greeted in return. "What's our status?" the evil genius questioned. "All conditions normal at the moment," Zak reported. "Though we have potential trouble spots appearing in sectors 7, 22, and 38." He gestured to a large map of the town projected on the view screen and several indicator lights upon it. "I see. Continue monitoring," Connery ordered. "They've completed testing on the V-7," Zaee said. "But we have class," she added. "Excellent news," Connery said. "Also, I wish to get an update on Project Cerulean this afternoon." "You'll have it. I do enjoy Project Cerulean," Edgea answered with a laugh. "So much pain." "We also expect Nhightman back soon," Zak informed him. "Nhightman…fascinating I await his…" Connery began. "Actually I'm right here. I was in the bathroom," the bald Asian pugilist named Nhightman said from beside him. "Ah so you are," Connery recognized. "Biology class Connery, come on, don't make me late," Zaee said hurriedly. "As you wish," Connery assented and followed her to the elevator. "What's Project Cerulean?" Nhightman asked. "Oh it is wonderful," Edgea responded. "So much carnage." "Typical goth, enjoying carnage," Nhightman said. "Not at all. Most goths are quite peace loving. I'm not," she responded with glee. "Don't stereotype karate master." "I don't use karate…I just throw hands…oh I see your point," Nhightman responded. "Project Cerulean is the plan that Connery and Plague have developed if the five other plans don't work. So if we're lucky it won't actually be implemented, but if it is, oh my…it'll be joyous." "Will we survive it?" Nhightman asked. "Probably not," Zak admitted. Edgea smiled. "I think we will, but we may be the only ones," she guessed. So if they've got a massive underground command center why the hell are they working on a nuclear weapon in the Electronics Room? An interesting and inconvenient question. "Say Nhightman…don't you have class too?" Zak asked. "Crap forgot! I got used to not doing anything during my trip to Estonia," he muttered and hurried for the exit.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 62 Biology Room. Many of the juniors like Connery and company were in Biology as well as Chemistry. Normally Biology is taken sophomore year, but for circumstances largely related to the actions of both Daman and Plague, Biology classes were canceled that year and the teacher, Mister Scientz, went on "sabbatical." Now he was back and Biology began anew. Dave and most of his nest of allies took this class, "The Hooligans" were in the corner, and Alan and Rocky were at opposite ends of the room as well. Mister Scientz entered into the classroom carrying a roll of toilet paper under his arm. "Good morning everyone," he said and beaned Vaux in the head with the toilet paper. "What I have just demonstrated is Physics, not Biology, so we won't cover it, but I think many of you are getting many things confused on several levels." "At least we're consistent," Penguin suggested. "Indeed," Scientz agreed. "You see Biology is a very powerful science. It means knowing the internal workings of life itself. I mean sure Physics allows you to plot trajectories and make things go fast, and Chemistry does lead to most explosions, but Biology…..wow…" Scientz trailed off as he normally did. The class just stared at him. "So let's talk about mitochondria," Scientz said. "Mito!" Seth shouted. "Chondria!" Penguin, Daman and Goshin replied. "Glad you're in the spirit of it," Scientz said. "Heck ya! Mitochondria will do that you know," Daman replied. "Yeah, now who can tell me what the purpose of mitochondria is? It's in the reading I assigned." Dead silence followed for thirty seconds. "No one read did the reading?" "I did," Connery said. "Then why didn't you answer?" Scientz asked. "It's not sporting of me to answer all the questions I know the answer too," Connery explained. "Given the lack of any other volunteers though?" "Especially then," Connery confirmed. Scientz glanced at him. "I did the reading but I had some questions," Zaee mentioned. "Ok you can ask them in a sec. Believe it or not when I think of mitochondria I think the most about water creatures. It's because I used to be in the Navy," Scientz said. "Will that be on the test?" Vic asked. "Possibly," Scientz said. "Was there a lot of mitochondria in the navy?" Goshin inquired. "So to speak," Scientz responded. "I mean you can't have a navy without mitochondria." "That is something I will attempt to disprove," Plague muttered. "Which leads me to my next point," Scientz said continuing. "In every cell there's something called a vacuole."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 63 "Vacuole! Vacuole! Vacuole!" The Hooligans shouted. "Foolish mortals," Plague growled. "Now the vacuole is important for several reasons," Scientz began. "He takes vacuoles," Daman said. "To the extreme!" Maka, Goshin, and Seth shouted. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm not solid on mitochondria yet," Zaee reminded him. She paused and stared down the Hooligans to prevent interruption. "What did your analogy mean, with the water creatures and all that?" she asked. "Ok, good question, see in the Navy we were underwater a lot, and as you know a lot of things live underwater…" Scientz explained. "My family did back in the seventies," Vaux interrupted. "Not the example I would have brought up," Scientz said. "A better example is you know fish, algae, and sharks, that sort of thing." "Sharks!" Seth shouted. "Yes Sharks!" Scientz responded. "Sharks! Nooooo!" Seth cried. "You have something against them?" "Yes, all of them, they have to die!" Seth yelled. "Hmm….she might be useful," Plague noted. "You'd think that but I wouldn't go that far," Connery said. "She's just reacting to Number Forty Nine no doubt." "Oh yes Forty Nine, indeed, whatever happened to him?" Plague asked. "That is an interesting question," Connery said. "Maybe for clarity's sake we'll move away from the sharks," Scientz said. "They all need to die, all of them," Seth repeated. "Kill them, then kill them some more, and the light the oceans on fire!" "Now I'm convinced," Plague concluded. "Seth do you want to go see the nurse?" Scientz asked. "Yeah sure why not," Seth said and jogged out the door. "Sorry Mr. Scientz. Seth had an interesting encounter with a shark once," Penguin said. "That does not surprise me. Now where were we?" "Germ warfare," Plague asserted. "Right, now most people don't know how to make a toxic strain that can hold its consistency when encased by ice, but I've found a way. It starts with…" Scientz lectured. "Mister Scientz, that wasn't the topic we were covering," Zaee interrupted casting an angry glance at Plague. "Yes you're right, but Plague does have a point in raising the issue," Scientz said. "Germ warfare is a growing career field. But look we can discuss that later, we were talking about mitochondria, and apparently things

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 64 are getting needlessly complex. So let's back up and start from scratch." "You're not going to tell us where the word comes from are you?" Alan inquired. "I hadn't planned on it," Scientz answered. "Good," Alan responded. "Typical pomposity from him, Mister Scientz, I apologize for his outburst," Rocky said. . "I'll apologize for severing your larynx in a minute," Alan threatened. "You don't have the velocity or the precision," Rocky responded dismissively. "Perhaps not, or perhaps I perchance will just eviscerate you." "A challenge I do expect to be the least bit fearsome." "Indeed," Alan said before lunging at his often opponent. Rocky awkwardly dropped out of his seat and rolled to the floor. Fisticuffs soon followed between the geniuses. Scientz sighed and sat down as the two brawled into the hall. "Someone close the door and we'll move on to the chloroplasts," Scientz requested. "Good thing we're taking notes," Dave muttered. "Hey this will be useful someday," Complexity said. "Nothing we've heard so far, aside from the possible existence of a way to freeze germs successfully, is of any importance," Plague asserted. "If you listen to him real closely you'll see a pattern," Complexity persisted. "Yep, it's really there," Vic agreed "Sure the words he says are just words with no real inherent meaning, but if you listen…really listen you'll see that he's the biggest crackpot scientist we've ever heard!" Complexity snapped and banged his head on the desk. "It kills! It kills! He continued to bang his head on the desk for a good fifteen seconds before ceasing the behavior. "I'm all right," he declared. "We were so worried," Connery remarked. "Ok now where were we?" Scientz asked. The entire class just shrugged.

Earth Science Room. Across the hall from Biology was a nearly identical room that hosted Mr. Gerry's first year Earth Science class. The ninety year old teacher perched on a stool in front of the white board and gazed out at the class with a perturbed look on his face. Seru, Melody, Tarusia, Nei, Sebastian, and Prim sat together in the back of the room after having returned from the courthouse. Nhightman also sat nearby…Whoopdie doo. "You kids and your rap music," Gerry complained. "What's wrong with ya!" He tossed an eraser at Nei who dodged it easily. "Young bastard, back in my day when an eraser was thrown at me, we took the hit and liked it!" "Sorry," Nei muttered. "Anyway. Today we're going to be discussing the Moon. Back when I was growing up, we had a lot of trouble understanding the Moon. Some people even thought it was made of green cheese…" Gerry began to

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 65 lecture. "Was that back when they had no cure for scurvy?" Sebastian interrupted. "Bastard!" Gerry said throwing another eraser his way. Sebastian ducked and it sailed into the far wall. "Sebastian, you know better than to do that," Seru whispered. "Ducking erasers breaks the monotony," Sebastian whispered back. "Now anyway, the Moon is composed of a variety of different minerals. We learn more and more about it every day or so those so called scientists down at NawSaw say," Gerry said. "I remember back when we first landed on the moon. Well not me personally of course but those guys, you know Neil Armstrong and Buzzy Aldrin. I call him Buzzy for a reason…" Gerry stopped and thought. The class waited about thirty seconds. "And that reason is?" Prim asked. "Like I'm going to tell you!" Gerry snapped. "Now let's get back to the Moon you bastards. I've assigned the readings on the various characteristics of the Moon. There's gravity, orbit, how it's usually always dark over there, et cetera. I expect you to read it, because the Moon is important. Probably all of you with your fancy video games don't realize how amazing the Moon is, but I do." "In defense of video games, they're quite well animated and developed right now and therefore tempting," Sebastian said. "Eh…back when I was your age we threw rocks at fire stations for fun," Gerry said. "None of this pixelized Mortal Death Game Five! You bastards are consumed by what isn't real! The Moon is real! It's filled with rock and craters…things you all should take great note of." "The Moon is fine. I'm just saying that life is not really a choice between the Moon and video games. We can have both in today's society," Sebastian argued. "You are always trying to get me sidetracked Sebastian, but not today, we're going to talk about the Moon even if I have to hit you in the head with an axe handle," Gerry warned. "That's how we used to do it in the fifties, but enough about that, we're going to continue with the lesson." Gerry did indeed manage to lecture. The class listened as he droned on in a futile attempt to keep track of all the details he was mentioning. Unlike many other classes, it just wasn't possible to get Mister Gerry off track for long despite Sebastian's efforts. Even when the now junior class had passed through they had difficulty dealing with the elderly teacher. Gerry was one of the few teachers in Conrad capable of holding off the unyielding river of sarcasm that many of their most prominent students kept flowing at the staff every day. What did interrupt Gerry though was Alan and Rocky. The flimsy door gave way and collapsed inward as the two grappled. Gerry in an unexpected display of agility jumped onto a desk and dashed from one to another before leaping off of Nei's and drop kicking Alan in the head. The student hit the ground hard and Gerry spun towards Rocky. "Rule one of breaking up a fight. Kick one guy in the head then beat the other guy…you want to be the other guy?" Gerry said. "I'm finished," Rocky said smartly and returned across the hall. Alan collected himself and did the same, though Gerry followed the pair out to make sure they were done. Seru meanwhile ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook that was covered with writing and handed it to Melody. Her friend read it over and grimaced a few times. "I'll never understand how you can describe…uh…it…like that. That's skill. I'm sure they'll like this, and its

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 66 uh…imagery," Melody said giving a brief review. "Good good," Seru said and took the paper back. Sebastian hopped out of his seat and headed for the front of the room. With great alacrity he replaced all the erasers with different ones of similar design, and headed back to his seat. He narrowly made it before Gerry returned. "If not for the students, education might stand a chance," the teacher growled. He took his place back on the stool. "Now pay attention, because we need to talk about craters," he said. "Need seems an extreme word for any crater discussion," came Sebastian's retort. Gerry grabbed an eraser and flung it only to be shocked when it dropped downward instead and exploded spewing chalk all over him. "TREASON!" Gerry shouted. "Everyone out!" The classroom emptied.

Gym. Not long after the Science classes collapsed the entire student body was herded into the pep rally for punishment. The setting was Conrad's incredibly mundane gym. There was a floor, there were bleachers, and there was a stylized Goat painted on the wall, which was strange because that wasn't the school's mascot. If you wanted to hear a pin drop on a gym floor, the pep rally was the place to be. All of Conrad's pep rallies had a history of anti-pep. Few cared that the freshman Bocce Ball team had a match tomorrow. That's always been the problem. As Curtiss watched from a chair nearby, the Pep Captain stood at a podium. The school had done away with the cheerleading team and instead relied on a variety of Hawaiian shirt clad boys and girls to cheer on the sports teams and the Pep Captain was their leader. He was a dashing figure in his shirt trimmed with gold reflective of his rank…What a fever dream this is. "Let's give it up for the Soccer team!" the Pep Captain shouted to a resounding lack of response. Connery, Lucio, Complexity, Jameson, and Tamrisu continued to be involved in a game of cards they were playing on the bleacher nearby. Plague had managed to avoid the rally by dematerializing. Vic and Vaux were sitting peacefully. Dave however found himself sitting down by the podium, trying not to show how bored he was. "With that let's turn things over to our President!" the Pep Captain cried. "Uh oh," the majority of Dave's friends said as a loud chorus of boos rang through the gym. Dave approached the podium and immediately ducked as seventy-eight thousand hastily made paper balls and a sprinkling of rowboat oars rained down from the audience. He popped back up. "We will overcome. Thank you," he said and returned to his seat. The brevity of the speech led most to start clapping. "Oh by the way," Curtiss said approaching the lectern. "Apparently it's in the rules that we have to have a memorial service for Cooper, so let's get that going…I just found it out fifteen minutes ago." The student body looked at her in surprise. "So many questions here," Jameson said. "I've been to tons of excellent memorial services held in gyms," Connery added snidely. "All right. This is the first eulogy I've ever delivered so I'll try and keep it short," Curtiss said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 67 "Good!" most the students replied in unison. "You know I hate you all," she muttered. "Feelings mutual!" most the students replied. "Clayton Cooper is gone, and now so are his parents. When they learned that he was dead, they both got into their Ferrari, drank several quarts of whiskey, and smashed their car into a tree." The crowd went wild. "Unfortunately two chipmunks that lived in the tree are now homeless, and with the ferrets running around…whom we can't seem to ever kill…the chipmunks aren't expected to live long," Curtiss said. "Those bastards, someone should kill those Coopers!" Vic shouted. Everyone looked at him with disgust. "Uh…well I meant…someone should go back in time and murder them…before they died I mean!" Vic tried to explain. "Security," the ActPrince calmly beckoned. "Come on Vic. Time to introduce you to our new pit," McGowen said hurrying up the bleachers. All the students parted to make room and the chief was at Vic's side within moments. He pulled the poor bastard outside followed by the rest of his security staff. "Now that we have removed Vic we can get on with this," Curtiss continued. "What was his crime!?" Vaux bellowed. The crowd pelted him with radishes. "Now what did I say about pelting students with radishes!" Curtiss yelled. Dave walked up next to her and whispered something. "What do you mean it's allowed?" she asked. Dave pulled out a ragged copy of the Conrad High Student Handbook which listed all the rules and regulations the school had. "Page 34. Radish throwing is allowed, when the target is among these students…he's on the list," the Acting Principal realized. "Okay sorry. Let's get on with this. Now I've been ordered to say a few kind words about Clay Cooper, but they aren't coming. Now I hear he has a younger brother who will be coming here next year. Let me promise you this. If that brother steps inside this school, he will be persecuted from day one! As far as I'm concerned, he has no future!" The crowd erupted into applause. The ActPrince gave a dignified wave. "And now here is Clay's close friend Rod Macho to give an alternative viewpoint," The ActPrince said suppressing a laugh. A spindly student walked onto the stage. "I was Clay's friend," Macho began. Most booed. "It's wrong to treat him this way," Rod continued. "This isn't some joke. I mean…sure he was a jerk, but he was my friend…" He was interrupted by Daman wandering up to the front of the stage, standing there for a minute, and then wandering back.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 68 "Ahem…But…in retrospect I should never have associated myself with him. I have a promising career in British Literature and pesticide research awaiting me," Rod said. The crowd let out a roar. Rod walked off the stage glad that he had been saved from any more embarrassment. Curtiss returned to the stage. "And now…the President of the Student Council." "Wait again?" Dave asked in shock. Curtiss glowered at him. He returned to the podium. The crowd's response to his arrival was a barrage of radishes. "Hey, guys, the radishes are for Vaux. Remember?" Dave admonished him. Ears of corn started flying at him. "Um…he…sucked?" Dave awkwardly said. Uncharacteristically most of the audience rose into a standing ovation. "Relish it, your life has peaked," Curtiss told him. "Yeah," Dave admitted.

Student Council President's Office. After surviving the pep rally Dave utilized a free period to retire to his office. "This has been an annoying day," Dave muttered behind his desk and pulled out a copy of Card Captor Sakura. The office door swung open hard and fast. He tossed the comic on a drawer. Seru retracted her leg from the kick she had just delivered and stormed into the office followed by Melody and Tarusia. "Ah welcome," Dave said and hurriedly opened the trap door next to the desk. He succeeded in reaching it but was caught before he could descend by Melody and Tarusia. "Wow you're fast," he muttered. The two nodded and placed him back on the floor. He returned to the chair behind his desk. "I know what you're doing," Seru said. "Please be more specific. I'm sure the list of things I'm doing that would cause complaint is incredibly large." "You are funneling money away from clubs to fund those projects of those friends of yours!" Seru replied. "That's where you're wrong. They're not my friends, in fact if they knew they were being referred to that way they would probably be none to pleased at the reputation hit," Dave answered. "Don't care. Look the Drawing Club needs supplies, and we can't get them if you keep taking the money away and giving it to strange nefarious projects," Seru said. Dave sighed. "I honestly didn't think there was any club that actually deserved the money in the first place, I had forgotten there was still a few notable exceptions…I believe I have a solution." He pressed a button. Within seconds a window behind him smashed as Complexity surged through it. "Complexity…this room has a side door, you don't need to do that," Dave grumbled. "Yes…I do," Complexity said glancing back and forth swiftly. "Hey…who are the dames?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 69 Tarusia kicked him in the face. He slammed into the wall, bounced off, did a split, leapt up and spun. "All right!" he shouted. "Rockin'." "Forgive that display of hypermasculinity," Dave said. "You deserved that Complexity. Now we need more money. Get Vic and Vaux and go down to the center of town and set up a fake dance battle." "Wouldn't we make more money with a real dance battle?" Complexity asked. "Yes…so do that." "Got it," Complexity said and lunged back out the window. "You must be so proud," Tarusia said with mighty snark. The accidental President shrugged. "So how much do you need?" Dave asked. "I don't entirely know if this…is ideal…but so be it," Seru said and handed him a sheet of paper. Dave glanced at it. "This is excellent writing but does not appear to be related to…" "Crap!" Seru blurted and snatched it away. She pulled out the correct list and handed it to him. Melody chuckled. "You familiar with that type of fiction?" the white mage asked. "Am now," Dave muttered. "We will see what we can do about this list." "This went better than we might have expected," Melody admitted. "How did you get any votes?" Tarusia questioned. "Fortunately for me, most of the voters aren't as smart as you are," Dave admitted. "Apparently so," the three agreed shaking their heads and heading for the door. Seru turned back. "Your pacing could use improvement," she said. Her friends grinned as they departed. HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH! Can it.

Serpent's Cavern. The rest of the class day passed quickly for the heroes, villains, and all those in between. Tamrisu, Jameson, and a contingent of warriors and wizards waited outside in the parking lot. "The busses carrying Orkes, girls, and various other troublemakers from other areas will be arriving shortly," Jameson said in between bites of a sub. "I really hate this," Tamrisu grumbled. The others didn't hide their displeasure. Jameson took another bite and swallowed. He really enjoyed the luscious chopped lettuce. "Of course you could think about it this way…" Tamrisu continued. "Yeah?" everyone growled.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 70 "We are very experienced at the games, as well as real fighting. We know more about anime than they do. Our veteran mages are at seventieth level. We literally beta tested forty seven different games and Drinmor over there is literally a Wizard on the Coast. So we shouldn't have any trouble defeating anything they throw in front of us. Probably, in time they will grow annoyed at our mightiness and leave on their own," Tamrisu said. "He's right of course," Jameson agreed. "Our anime knowledge is indeed unsurpassed. We watch all the tapes and Master Maviok over there possesses the entire set of Dragonlordian cards." "Ah…I have heard such misguided words before," Grudolf said advancing. "What do you mean Grudolf the grey?" Tamrisu challenged. "I fear that our prejudices will lead to our downfall. We must be careful," Grudolf advised. "You always say that. You said that when we varnished the tables!" one of the other patrons said. "That's true," Jameson realized "Aye, I know, but I'm sure of it this time," Grudolf responded. "We shall see," Tamrisu said. In a puff of Cadmium, Plague appeared. "Hail Plague!" the group all shouted. "You are most welcome," Plague bellowed. "Have they arrived yet?" "Clearly not," Jameson "I shall return momentarily then," Plague announced and disappeared. The green Ford came around a corner and into view. The group watched in annoyance as it parked and Sebastian emerged alone. "Greetings King of the Assholes! How goes it in your domain!" Tamrisu called. "I will ignore your attempts at mockery and accept the rightful title of King," Sebastian responded advancing towards them. "Two orders of business. First, everyone will be arriving within seconds…" Sebastian began. "I hear the buses," one of the Dwarves stated. The sound indeed was reaching the entire group of motors in motion. "Second…" he added and gave them two middle fingers in salute. "Remember…always remember!" With that he returned to his car, awkwardly jumping on the hood and climbing to the roof. The buses rounded the corner…why are there buses?…anyway…Tokyo-1 was in the lead and soon had parked beside Sebastian's dumpy ass car. Seru and her full contingent of friends stood watch as the buses pulled in. Goblins, Ogres, demonic looking necromancers, and girls clad in all sorts of outfits exited and the two groups soon stood opposite each other. "Pathetic," Argron growled. "Pathetic this!" Tarusia shouted. Her violet bladed wand appeared in her hand and she drew a large mallet out of energy with her magic. She grabbed the glowing purple weapon she had created with her free hand and swung hard smashing Argron to the ground. One of the warriors tossed a boomerang which connected with Nei and dropped him to the pavement. The situation escalated as everyone's weapons were drawn. Sebastian held an oddly designed ray gun in his hand, Prim's wrist devices glowed, Melody's mage staff shimmered into her grasp. Seru drew a silver wand topped with a majestic looking aquamarine crystal. Jameson held his sword aloft. Each side tensed.

Still at Serpent's Cavern. "Everyone chill!" Prim urged though he didn't lower his weapon. "Agreed, commence chilling!" Tamrisu muttered emphatically. Plague appeared in a puff of Actinium. "I leave for five seconds and we start to lose! What the hell?" he snapped. "Still…this does not appear to be much of a threat." "Oh yeah!" Tarusia replied and spun swinging the wand around ferociously. A purple crescent slashed across the parking lot. "Don't bother," Plague shouted and deflected the attack away. A Honda Civic nearby exploded "Is that the best you can do?" "You're about to see what we can do," Seru threatened advancing towards him. Plague looked at Seru curiously and the wand in her hand. "Aren't you supposed to be the one calming things down?" Melody questioned grabbing her arm. "Yeah…yeah…" Seru realized and stepped back. "If we get into a fight aren't we going to get into trouble?" Jameson whispered to Tamrisu. "What were we doing building ourselves up mentally if we were just going to battle?" "I don't know, it's just in our nature to fight," Tamrisu answered. Strika took this opportunity to materialize in a puff of Lutetium. "Strika Addendum!" Plague, Jameson, and Tamrisu exclaimed. "Hi there," she said. "This complicates matters further, are you taking an interest in this?" Plague growled. "I am," Strika replied. "How annoying," Plague spat. "All right…looks like we're going to have to learn to live with this!" Jameson shouted. "Come on, let's stop being so threatening and get back to gaming." "And no one had better have taken my seat," Tamrisu added. The two sides went into the store leaving only Strika and Seru outside. "Are you sure you want this?" Strika asked. "It's bigger and there's no reason we shouldn't get to have fun too," Seru said. "I know, I know," Strika said. "But you've made some enemies." "It's for a good cause." "I suppose. I'm sorry I had to jump in back there, but even as powerful as you are, there's no way you could have beaten Plague if he had chosen to fight you or your friends."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 72 "I'm not afraid of him," Seru responded. "Nor you." Strika grinned. "You are wise," Addendum said with a smile as she realized Seru was as wary of her as her enemy. "Still, I'd watch out for him. I'm not sure what his true goal is yet, but he is dangerous. That's an intricate wand you have there…" "I'm very proud of it, but I've got some gaming to do," Seru responded and headed inside to enjoy the fruits of her efforts. "Do you even know what you possess?" Strika said to herself.

Student Council President's Office. Though it was after school Dave understandably had nowhere to be. He sat in the President's office, which had been stripped of all of Clayton's decorations. It was barren for the moment, but not empty as Vic and Vaux now sat in front of the desk. "Come on Dave, help us out here," Vic implored. "No," Dave responded. "Would it help if we said please?" Vaux asked. "No it wouldn't. Come on guys, I'm just not about to give you money because you're my friends." "But you gave Connery and Plague some money," Vic pointed out. "Of course I did, I'll give money to anyone who has a worthy cause or can kill me if I don't give them what they want. Connery and Plague covered both criteria," Dave explained. "How can you call what they do a worthy cause, compared to what we want to do?" Vic questioned. "Let me outline it for you," Dave answered. "Your plan is to buy a farm in the country. Correct?" "Yes," the two replied in unison. "And once you have this farm you intend to breed tarantulas?" "So far so good," Vaux said. "Now for now, I'm going to ignore the fact that you do not need seventy-eight acres to breed tarantulas. There is still the third part of your proposal that gets me. You plan to use these tarantulas to attack a rival gang of tarantulas on another seventy-eight acre farm which is owned by your arch rival who you only will refer to as 'Stigmata-for-hire.' Now guys, it's nothing personal, but this is ludicrous." "But if we don't do this he'll have the advantage!" Vic cried. "The blood of innocents will be on your hands!" Vaux threatened. "I doubt it," Dave said. "Look, there's a place for you to get funding for stuff like this, it's called the Federal Government. Leave me alone okay?" The two stood. "We'll remember this!" Vic shouted. "Yes, for all time," Vaux added. Complexity leapt in the office door and tackled both of them. "RANDOM ASSAULT!" he shouted and began stomping on both of them. "Hey, Complexity. You had something you wanted to ask me about?" Dave asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 73 Complexity gave Vic a last stomp and sat down. "Oh yeah, see I need some money," Complexity stated. "For what?" "T-shirts mother fucker! Mother fucking t-shirts." "T-shirts?" "Yes, let me explain to you the concept," Complexity said. The wounded Vic and Vaux crawled out the door in the meantime. "Now everyone wears t-shirts right?" Complexity began. "Yes," Dave agreed. "Now, what if they bought shirts from me?" "I'm guessing that you'd make money." "Yeah, but that's only part of it. What it means is that people would be wearing stuff they bought from me." "True." "Now what if the shirts could change color depending on how warm your body was?" Complexity continued. "It's been done," Dave reminded him. "Of course it has. Now, what if the shirt changed size depending on how warm your body was?" "Ehh what?" "Yeah look, in the summer, you want a small shirt, one that doesn't keep in the heat, right?" "Yes." "In the winter, you want it large so you don't get cold?" "Sounds right, though your thought processes continues to remain at the edge of sanity," Dave noted. Complexity stopped and stared at him with an angry grimace. "Rock candy?" Dave offered holding out the bag. "Sure you prick," Complexity answered taking the bag and breaking out of his stupor. "Now look, if I get the patent for this thing…well," he jumped on the desk and started dancing. "Complexity, your idea makes sense…sort of…but what happens when someone gets really hot? Wouldn't the t-shirt evaporate or something?" "Dave, the only time someone would get that warm is if they were sitting inside of a stove." "What about if they had a fever?" "Okay if they had a fever too. It's really the same when you're me," Complexity admitted. "Fine, fine, but why are you doing this?" Dave asked and sighed. "So once the idea catches on I can make an evil batch of shirts." "Oh?" "Yeah, I'll send them to the West Side. And you see they're also regulated by how warm your body is. When you're hot, acid is released." "And if you're cold?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 74 "A different acid is released!" Complexity exclaimed. "Oh…so this is ultimately just a way to maim people?" Complexity nodded with a brutal smile. Plague appeared in the chair nearby in a cloud of Radon. "We also will need several of those evil t-shirts," Plague announced. "$19.95 each," Complexity quickly answered. "Bastard," Plague said and disappeared again. Connery wandered in the door. "How are you gentlemen? Just where did the Student Council get a room this size?" he asked. "When it's a status symbol to be President, the gentry goes all out," Dave theorized. "Jerkasses," Complexity growled. Connery arrogantly strode across the office and dropped into the chair next to Complexity. "We are grateful for your financial contributions, though we were hoping you could do us another favor," Connery expressed. "Better watch it/ You think my acid shirts are trouble…he'll probably have some acid tunnel or something, shady bastard," Complexity said. "Acid shirts? Interesting idea," Connery responded. "Acid tunnel? I hardly see a call for that." "So what are you asking for?" Dave asked. "We need hall passes. Dozens of them," Connery answered. "What for?" "For our people…to do things…rather than waste their time in class," Connery explained. "What you ask is difficult," Dave admitted. "However looking through some of the old files it does appear in the past that it was doable so let's see what we can do." "Excellent," Connery said smiling. "This is proving to be a very fruitful development. But I must return to the command center. There is business to conduct." "Strawberry cider asshole," Complexity growled lapsing into insanity and followed the genius out.

Town of Conrad. Board of Education Building. Conrad's Board of Education headquarters sat across the street from town hall. The building was of unremarkable design but did feature a fairly decent clock tower atop it. The architecture was somewhat irrelevant to The Viceroy as he stormed into the Superintendent's Office, bypassed the Secretary, and flung open the inner office door. Radisson leapt up from his fancy desk. "What the hell is going on at that high school?!" The Viceroy roared furiously. "Sir it's just a high school," Radisson answered. "It is far more than that! I've looked into this on my own, and despite your effort to cover it up I've found the truth," The Viceroy yelled recognizing that Radisson's anxiety was growing. "Yes, I have learned about the downhill trend that has been taking place for ten years!" "I don't know what you mean," the Superintendent responded nervously. The sweat began to exit his pores at a disgusting rate. "I mean the AP phenomenon!" The Viceroy snapped.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 75 "Oh…that. Uh…well…sir we are evaluating…" Radisson stammered. "I am also evaluating…you…" The Viceroy said slowly and dangerously. Just what is with this anti-rich sentiment? Are you jealous or something? Or perhaps you're a socialist? Absolutely not on both counts, but for plot purposes I have created a class of pompous snots to be the villains of the story. Ah villains. I see. As opposed to the demonic Plague, his bomb building friend Connery, and the rest of their merry band of friends? Oh yes and let us not forget Plague's rival villain and for that matter the new group whose motives are still unclear. But yes, the rich are the problem. You fucking liberal. Go smoke some grass and ride your bike to the recycling center. If you're quite finished, we'll continue. "Radisson, the epicenter of every element of opposition we have observed recently centers in that one damn building. It must be dealt with swiftly," The Viceroy stated. "Sir, I'm sorry, I just can't believe that we have anything to fear from a high school. I just can't believe it," Radisson responded.

Conrad High School. Command Center. "Target acquired," Connery said. "Those Welles High School bastards," Complexity shouted from beside him. "Keep it down, you'll ruin the moment. Ten seconds to launch," Connery responded. Plague appeared in a cloud of Mercury. "What's happening?" he asked. "The electronics club at Welles High School said that their BMW equipment made them much better students than us, so I took it personally, and in a moment of weakness I decided to carry out a vendetta. The result is that I made this thing," Connery said pointing at the screen. "What is it?" Plague asked unsure of what he was looking at. "A mini submarine, which will shoot along the sewer lines until arriving under Welles," Connery explained. "Then, it gets really, really ugly?" Lucio guessed. "Beyond ugly. Possibly on the level of Medusa without the stone part," Complexity said. The others looked at him. "Launching!" Connery exclaimed. Below Conrad, the mini submarine dropped into the water. The propeller started and it zipped through the sewer system. "Guys, honestly, I know I can be a little strange, but think about this for a minute. The economy is collapsing. I mean it's based entirely on coffee shops. Have you seen the figures?" Complexity asked. "Of course we have," Connery acknowledged. "And it's more complex than just coffee shops. The entire coffee industry is the standard now." "Refining and production as well as distribution," Plague agreed. "But taking control of that conglomerate will take real effort." "So what's going on in here?" Lucio asked pointing at the outer casing of a missile sitting on a counter

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 76 nearby. "Don't you hate those commercials for fabric softener?" Plague inquired. "I guess," Lucio responded hesitantly. "We're going to take care of that," Plague said with a sadistic smile. "I uh didn't know a missile was the best answer for that," Lucio admitted. "You'll learn," Edgea said turning to face him and laughing. "Though I prefer a more personal approach, but you can't have everything." "Three minutes to target," Mysterious Zak reported from his station. "Welles…you're mine," Connery said emphatically.

Welles High School. Conrad High's cross-town rival sat encircled by a giant metal wall guarded by a security force even more oppressive and hardcore than McGowen's forces. The submarine however negated the wall's defense and slid under the perimeter stopping precisely under the Welles High School Electronics Lab. It was a much more modern and extensive facility than Conrad's at least on the surface. A drill emerged from the submarine and created a hole in the sewer ceiling. Once the hole was created the submarine sprouted a small pair of helicopter rotors and flew upward. As it encountered more floors and ceiling, the drilling was repeated. Finally after fifteen minutes, the small craft flew through its created hole into the large lab. The students all gazed at the submarine, but no one moved. A small projection of Connery shimmered out from the ship. "Greetings fools! You have underestimated us once again!" he declared joyfully. "Big deal Connery, you've managed to get a submarine here. Like we care," one of the Welles students snorted "Oh, but there's so much more," Connery responded. The hull of the submarine opened and Vic and Vaux tumbled out. "Enjoy," Connery said and cackled as the projection faded. The two Conrad students stood up. "Hi guys," Vaux said. "Let me tell you a story about this rat I met once, it was a talking rat, how do I know this? Because it talked to me." "Don't tell this story, it sounds so stupid," Vic admonished him. "Yeah well, they probably like this kind of thing," Vaux countered. "Anyway, so this rat…he was pretty big…maybe bigger than me…in fact I'm not sure he was a rat, he might have been Vic's grandfather." "He was my grandfather dammit!" Vic shouted. "Well, anyway," Vaux continued. "Vic's grandfather is the closest thing I've seen to a talking rat in years, but that's okay. Say what nice stuff you got over here. I don't have anything like that, if I do I break it, but not because I'm clumsy, more because, I'm Presbyterian, at least that's what they say. Oh I can see you don't want to hear this. Let me show you something…" The group all stared mystified and mesmerized by Vaux's existence. He did a little dance and then ripped off his shirt. "AH!" Vic howled in disgust. "Don't do that!" "But the shirt was squirting acid on me!" Vaux cried.

Command Center. The events were unfolding through a video link on the view screen. "We stole Complexity's idea. It was just too good," Plague revealed. "I'll always have new ideas," Complexity replied "That's…frightening," Lucio remarked and shifted in his chair worriedly. "This is getting good," Connery noted. Nhightman entered and realized the operation was underway. "This looks sinful," he noted. "Sin is a construct of those who require morality," Plague bellowed. "No argument here, still if there's a hell we're likely all going to find the inside of it," Nhightman guessed. "There is a hell," Plague answered. "But it's under different management than everyone has been lead to believe. Though you are likely destined for it all the same." "Yay," Nhightman said.

Welles. "Uh…you guys should all leave now," one of the students said. "Leave?" Vaux asked. "Hey, I'll tell you what…pick a card," he said quickly producing a deck from his pocket. "No," the student answered. "You made the right choice," Vaux answered "These cards are all the five of clubs, oh wait…no…twelve of clubs…sorry about that." Every Welles student collapsed and began mumbling to themselves.

Command Center. "He got them!" Connery cried. The various people in the room all exchanged handshakes. "All right you two, get out of there, I need to use you for target practice later," Connery demanded into the communications system. "Will it be moving target practice?" Vaux asked. "Please say yes," Vic begged. "Sure until I hit you once or twice," Connery replied. The two climbed inside the submarine and it began lowering back towards the sewer. "Slightly inefficient but well done all the same," Plague observed. "Thank you Lord Plague. Prepare for submarine recovery!" Connery ordered. "Aye aye," Zak said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 78 "So what's happening with you?" Complexity asked Lucio as they sat nearby. "Not much, you know, the same." Complexity smiled and nodded politely, before grabbing Lucio by the neck. "Don't think I'm not onto you," he hissed. "Wha…what Complexity?" Lucio stammered. "Ah…how curious," Connery said noticing the altercation. "Say Complexity, why you strangling Lucio there?" Connery asked with a grin. "Quiet you prick!" Complexity shouted and lifted Lucio up still holding him by the neck. "Now where are those plans?" he asked. "What…plans…?" Lucio gasped. "Hah! Worthless!" Complexity howled and flung Lucio into a corner. "I'll find out what you're about someday," Complexity vowed. "But it's urinal time!" "There was no need to announce it," Connery said. "Ehh…you're all a bunch of prickholes!" Complexity shouted. With that he headed down a corridor in search of the bathroom. Lucio picked himself off the ground. "He's doing that more often now, and I have no idea what he's talking about," Lucio said. "Aren't you worried he just might kill you inadvertently one day?" Connery asked. "No, if he was going to kill me, it would be on purpose," Lucio said. "He's careful like that." Plague looked over at him and with a flick of his fingers transformed Lucio into a flag pole. "What's that about?" Nhightman asked "I'm evil. I do as I please," Plague answered. Complexity returned from the bathroom holding a pipe. "Hey hey! Perfect!" he exclaimed and started whacking the pole with the pipe. "Stop that," Plague ordered. Complexity relented and Plague returned Lucio to human form. "I depart…now," Plague declared and vanished in a cloud of Erbium. "So what was being a flag pole like?" Complexity asked. "Not much different than usual," Lucio conceded. "Hey Connery?" Zak asked. "What is it?" Connery replied. "We've got a signal 10," Zak said. "Really?" Connery asked curiously.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 79 Fecicorp World Headquarters. Purchase, New York. Why we've made an abrupt jump into the world of industry I'm not sure, but regardless…Fecicorp was the world's largest fertilizer manufacturer and supplier. On the top floor of an incredibly white building, sat the Chief Executive Officer, Quince Feci. Around him sat numerous faceless minions. "Gentlemen," Feci began to the room of men. "Our plans are moving forward at a quick pace. Soon we will be in a position to eliminate all competition and begin our conquest of the world!" You mean you managed to squeeze yet another set on taking over the world into this novel? What's that bring the total to now? You're interrupting the flow. Flow this. That's one heck of a middle finger you got there. Never mind that. The CEO continued. "Once we are the world's only supplier of fertilizer, the world's food supply will be dependent on us. That bargaining power along with our immense private military will make us unstoppable." "Sir, what if we are discovered before our plans can be put into action?" one of the minions asked. "Who would suspect a fertilizer corporation of making a bid for world dominance," another minion answered. "Exactly, even as we've purchased weaponry and equipment, no one has paid any attention. After all, it is only fertilizer," Feci said. "No one will suspect anything until it's too late." With that he began an evil villain laugh and his minions all joined in the celebration of their impending victory.

Command Center. "Wow," Connery said. "It's just as we suspected. I'm glad I bugged the place." "Indeed," Plague said reappearing beside him. "Unfortunately we will have to speed up our plans to deal with them as well. So many enemies at once. How frustrating." "We will succeed," Connery responded. "As long as we are careful." Complexity began to swing his pipe at Lucio. The submarine flew back into the command center and ejected Vic and Vaux to the floor. They both bolted up and started dancing back and forth as if they were in a M.C. Hammer video. Connery sighed as he realized the comedy of the situation. "My confidence is slightly shaken," he admitted. "Not for long, I promise you," Plague responded.

Castle Conrad. The Mansion District. Samuels straightened his ascot as he waited outside the door. The servant banged on it and pushed it open slightly. "Mister Samuels is here sir," he said. "Send him in!" The Viceroy called from deep within the chamber. The servant pushed open the door further and Samuels stepped inside. The door soon swung shut behind him and startled him for a brief second. He didn't particularly enjoy these meetings. They were the only thing that ever unnerved him. The Viceroy was sitting behind a desk carved out of gold. A giant lion was the primary

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 80 decoration on its front. It shined in the light of the chandelier that Samuels realized was different from the one the last time he had visited. The leader of the Byzantine Sons turned his attention to the new arrival. Samuels tried to avoid focusing on his eyebrows, but failed. "Tell me you know what to do," he demanded. "We did some reading in the school rules and we know what will work. We have a plan sir!" Samuels quickly replied. "Then carry it out," The Viceroy growled. "No one seems to understand the seriousness of this situation. It is our top priority to take care of it. That…and destroying everyone's fascination with Slim Jims!" "Sir?" "Samuels…are you questioning me?" "Our forces are about to take care of it sir," Samuels vowed. "We will not allow a further spread of this infection!" "You had better not," The Viceroy threatened. "I will not fail you sir," Samuels said. The Viceroy said nothing more, and instead walked to his balcony. Samuels excused himself. A strong wind was blowing into The Viceroy's face. He didn't mind as his cape flapped behind him. "This feels powerful…as if the heavens themselves are supporting us," he said to himself. The breeze carried sounds as well, and a disorganized harmony of sirens reached his ear. In the distance he could make out the source as little dots of flashing lights were all moving in unison. "What is that all about?" he muttered.

Several miles away… The Vauxmobile, with Stiegg once again at the wheel, roared off the exit ramp from I-84. Behind him several cars marked Border Patrol, Federal Marshal, and State Police followed quickly. "Drat and double drat! This is so annoying!" Stiegg shouted with exasperation and guided the van around a curve. The van skidded around Conrad High's parking lot entrance and slammed into a tree. He jumped out and dashed for the door. Down the road the law enforcement vehicles all skidded to a stop as a horde of ferrets jumped into the street in front of them. The officers jumped from their cars and drew their weapons. The ferrets glowered back at them, but the standoff was momentary as they soon scattered. The multi-agency task force looked at each other and started to give chase to the awful animals.

Electronics Room. Stiegg rushed into the room to find Connery and Plague striding towards the exit. "Ah hi, what's up?" he asked nervously. "Do you like infomercials?" Connery asked in response. "Sure." "Too bad. Because they are over," Plague declared. "Ah how'd you manage that?" Stiegg asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 81 "It was easy compared to trying to out those annoying pledge drives for public television. You wouldn't believe what kind of intelligence network they have. They always see us coming," Connery said with frustration. "Couldn't this get you into trouble?" Stiegg said. "Trouble is the cost of doing glorious business," Connery stated. "Speaking of which…" Plague boomed. "Connery, is that Plutonium here yet?" "Sadly no. I can't understand what is keeping our supplier," Connery answered. "Uh about that…" Stiegg began. The two scowled at him. Stiegg could not determine which one scared him more. He backed slowly towards the wall. They followed. "Ex…plain…" Plague demanded. "I um…I may have heard…a…story about…some…oh god…corn smuggling…and when I just happened to be walking by…um…I…" He sank to the ground petrified "I might have seen…some…of the agents…who responded…stop another shipment…they were talking about…" "YOU FOOL! Your stupid games have interfered with the grand mission!" Plague shouted. He flung out his arm and Stiegg vanished in a cloud of locusts. "This is very distressing," Connery said. "Where'd you send him?" "He will feel so much pain!" Plague thundered. "Pit of Flaying again?" "No…Rochester, New York." "Oh damn…oh damn…you fiend," Connery said in a mix of admiration and fear. "We need more Plutonium, and we need it fast," Plague said angrily.

Room 264. Mister Nikler looked out of the classroom and waited. The half Irish and half Native American Science teacher was known for his quick temper and stern defense of the scientific method. As well as his eye patch, he was definitely known for the eye patch. "THE ANSWER IS PROTON! YOU IDIOTS!" he finally shouted. "Does he not understand that just because we do not answer his questions, it is not necessarily because we don't know the answer?" Plague muttered. "How does he not understand the science of not caring?" Jameson wondered. "Actually I neither know it…nor care to know it," Tamrisu said. "Why is an electron so negative? I mean does it run in its family or is it something else?" Vaux inquired from beside them The others contemplated grisly unspeakable murder, but held off. "What's going on back there?!" Nikler asked. "Nothing," Plague said. "Which I assure you is the best possible outcome to the current situation. You should be thankful." "I don't buy that! You and your mystical magic stuff," Nikler said. "You can't disprove science!" "Is that a challenge?" Plague responded with a grin.

Cafeteria. The usual group of troublemakers assembled around the lunch table, though Complexity was absent. The air was filled with the stench of low quality meat and shattered dreams. "So apparently one of the Chemistry teachers was turned into a gas only to retain his mental consciousness today. Strange huh?" Lucio asked. "You're not entirely right there Stiegg. Mister Nikler was made to be highly reactive with pure air molecules causing a bizarre chemical reaction that can only be described as being very close to asexual reproduction," Connery explained. "To add insult to injury, Mister Nikler was disseminated into his constituent molecules down to the quark, and reconstituted as a large frog with the exact same molecular composition. This is something science could never do," Connery continued. "Something's going on," Dave said. "What gives you that idea?" Connery asked. "I don't know. Something just doesn't seem right," Dave replied. A musical fanfare filled the room. Everyone turned to the cafeteria entrance. Richard Samuels strode in followed by an entourage. The preps all stood at attention as Samuels passed by. A falling ceiling tile took out several of his followers, but he continued. "Richard Samuels, what an ass," Connery spat.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 83 Samuels stopped at their table. "I have something for you plebeian," Samuels said. He snapped his finger. A student ran up, bowed and held up a letter. Samuels pointed to Dave. The obsequious student moved to him and handed him the letter. "Read it," Samuels said. Dave grinned slightly, picked up the letter, and ripped it to pieces. "Now what'd you do that for!" Samuels shouted. "Pirate Time!" Complexity shouted dropping out of a hole in the roof clad in an eye patch and black 18th century era hat. He jumped on the table, did a little dance, and sat down. "Wow! If we had any more preps, we could open a preptorium," he sneered observing the situation for the first time. "Shut up!" Samuels demanded. "I'm here to…" "Yeah, and then you could pay two bucks to get in," Complexity continued. "What you'd do is go through the preptorium and look at all the preps, and if you paid extra you could stab them with various sharp objects." "Enough you!" Samuels howled. "I mean, I guess knives, bottles, razors, just random pieces of glass…" Complexity continued. "Acid tipped swords?" Connery asked. "Sure," Complexity said. "Rotary telephones?" Lucio asked. "What?" the rest said. "Sharpened rotary telephones?" Lucio asked. "Hell yeah!" Complexity shouted. "I'll let that one slide, at least your heart is in the right place," Connery commented. "Do you all mind!" Samuels shouted. "I am trying to say something. You rebellious lower class types are not worthy to keep me waiting!" "Don't patronize us Samuels. The rich have all the lawyers, but we have all the crime!" Lucio snapped. "Yeah," Complexity grunted. "This is degrading faster than expected," Connery observed. "Look!" Samuels wailed. "I am here to deliver this notice of impeachment to you Dave!" "On what grounds?" Dave asked in shock. "The fact that you suck might be a reason," Connery suggested. "That's possible," Dave replied dismissively. "It has to do with a provision in the constitution relating to qualifications," Samuels said. "I'm the only one qualified in this school to be President of the Student Council," Dave said. "Which makes you a prime candidate for impeachment from any other student organization," Connery sneered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 84 "Look, the constitution says clearly that to be President of the Student Council you must take at least one music class here at Conrad," Samuels said. "We have," the mass of preps said. "But he hasn't," Samuels said. "What a stupid rule," Dave said. "I've been down that road. Look, the idea of three hundred untrained vocalists singing rounds is not for me." "Ah, but that's not our problem," Samuels said. "We will vote you out of office. So much for you! Pissant!" The preps all headed off to the fanfare. "That figures Dave. You don't even listen to music do you?" Connery inquired. "I've got Billy Joel tape at home," Dave said. "Storm Front…" "On the plus side, looks like The Viceroy isn't pleased," Connery realized. "Hey hey hey," Complexity said. "What was that?" Connery wondered. "I'm just a soul man," Complexity added. "Complexity. Are you all right?" Lucio questioned. "REEEEEEKOLA," Complexity howled. "Is he all right?" Dave asked. "They tell me to take them up the river. I tell them no. What are they crazy? It's all rough and narrow up there. No way am taking them up that way, but they don't listen. They go up that way anyway…haven't seen them since," Complexity said. "Disembowelment is too good for any of you," Connery muttered. "Keep my dog out of this," Stiegg demanded. "You have a dog named Disembowelment?" Connery asked. "We just call him that because he has no butt," Stiegg explained. "You know there are many reasons why one person might feel hatred for another…I think that within this conversation, we've covered about all of them," Connery said. About a dozen men and women in blue suits had entered the cafeteria and were surveying the room. "Oh shit!" Stiegg shouted and raced out the back. The suited figures noticed and pursued…I don't know why I took this job. I gave you a great contract. Remember? I'm just beginning to doubt the legitimacy of your imagination. How is that possible? Anything's possible. Then it's possible for what I'm saying to be true. I guess I have to concede that point. Do you realize how much time we've wasted? All because of your doubts? Sorry.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 85 Let's get back to the plot if you don't mind. We now join this story in progress. "I think he might have syphilis," Complexity was saying. "Tough luck for him," Lucio said. "The truth is he's going to die anyway," Dave said. Who is? What did I miss? Hah. You complain about the book, miss a plot point, and now you expect me to tell you what happened? But is it important for the reader to know? If it was, don't you think I'd tell them? Maybe. However, I'm now beginning to doubt your competency as a writer as well as your imagination. Are you? Yeah. Care to take this outside? Let's go. Well I showed you who the man is. You did not. I kicked your ass. I hardly call one jab an ass kicking. Your nose is still bleeding. Hah. No it's not. Don't believe him. He's lying. I am not. Can we just get on with this? Not until you admit you lost. Fine. Fine. I lost. I've got to do my narration now. See everyone? The stuffy Englishman lost! Quit bragging you American dog! Let's rejoin the story. "Oh my god it's…it's…him!" the group shouted as an ice cream man walked in the door, threw an ice cream sandwich at the wall and promptly exited. Well that was positively stupid wasn't it? Does this have any further meaning? Mayyyyybe. "Someday that ice cream man is going to get what's coming to him," Complexity vowed menacingly.

Room 311. Lunch ended eventually and Conrad unfortunately offered foreign language classes like Spanish. One expects our author will be incapable of comedy regarding this without relying on common stereotypes. "He takes stereotypes…" Seth Chafer began. "To the extreme!" Maka, Goshin, and Daman shouted from somewhere. The third year students were under the care of Mister Salti, the slightly grey haired kook who had an interesting way of teaching. So interesting in fact that fewer than five percent of all his students have any concept for the language. This has drawn many students to take his class just for kicks, but also lead to frustration among

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 86 those who actually want to learn the language…Several of the main characters are in this class but numnuts didn't give me a list of who. Salti waltzed into the room and spun. "Hola, class," he said. The class just glanced at him blankly. "Is everyone doing well?" He asked in Spanish. "No," the class replied in English. "I see," he continued in Spanish and turned towards the board. Plague took the opportunity to vaporize the empty desk next to him. After writing several words down Salti spun around and laughed. "Today we shall talk about action verbs in conversation!" Salti bellowed in English. The class moaned, since Salti hadn't particularly taught them much up to this point and moving on to actual conversation was quite a stretch. "Where is that desk?" Salti asked in English immediately noticing the absence of it. "What desk?" Plague asked. "The desk, where did it go?" "It's not like it is capable of leaving or anything," Plague said. "Yes sir, as open minded as I may be, desks just don't walk off," Connery added. "I sense trickery here," Salti said. "Trickery…." He walked up and down the aisles menacingly. "Vic! It was you wasn't it!" the teacher accused forcefully. "Eh…huh?" Vic asked. "Confess!" Salti demanded. "To what? I'm over here. I'm nowhere near the desk," Vic said. "Yes, interesting isn't it? You are over here, to hide yourself from suspicion!" Salti said. "I will not have sedition in my class. When you disobey me, you disobey the Spanish Empire!" "That's an interesting take on his authority as a teacher," Jameson remarked. "Heh, he can bring his Spanish Empire right over here," Complexity said flexing his muscles. "The Spanish Empire versus Complexity. That's about an even fight I'd say," Tamrisu groaned more out of exhaustion than annoyance. "Nah I have the advantage! I've got the inner fire that most empires don't have any more," Complexity boasted. "Where exactly is that inner fire located Complexity?" Jameson inquired. "Which one?" Complexity asked. "Not what we wanted to know," the rest of the group said in shock "Hey! What's going on over there?" Salti shouted in Spanish as he whirled towards their group of chairs. "Uh…Si?" Complexity said. "Si…indeed…" Salti hissed with a glare. "I see we have much to do, but first, Vic shall hang tomorrow!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 87 "WHAT?" Vic shouted. "Yes, I will have discipline! You shall hang! Upside down from the ceiling!" "Oh…..then I'm alive, good." "Señor shall we hit him with baseball bats?" Plague asked. "Not again!" Vic shouted. "Hmm…no…I think hitting him might kill him and I've got too many black marks on my record already. One more mysterious death in my file and I'm probably headed on a boat back to España," Salti said. "Vic we call upon you to make the ultimate sacrifice for us all," Plague said rising dramatically. "Yeah!" the rest of the class said whirling towards him. "Peer pressure to die for my classmates…oh the angst of teenage life!" Vic moaned. "Enough!" Salti shouted. "We shall begin the lesson." "Not so fast Salti!" a figure dressed in white said swinging through the classroom windows on a rope and landing on the desk. "Zero," Salti said. "Indeed it is I! Zero! Rejoice peoples!" The class just looked at Zero blankly. "You students live in fear, but no more!" Zero shouted and drew a sword. "So it has come to this once again!" Salti cried leaping atop his desk with a saber of his own. The two men lunged at each other swinging and parrying throughout the classroom. Students scurried out of the way to avoid being caught by the dangerous blades. "Zero was late today," Tamrisu noted. "Yep, he must have gotten held up in traffic," Jameson theorized. "It happens to everyone eventually," Connery agreed.

Room 313. Across the hall another Spanish class was in progress. Sebastian, Prim, Nhightman, and Nei all were in attendance. For reasons somewhat unknown Vaux was also hanging out in the class as well. Senorita Kitchell stood at the front of the room quickly writing a series of phrases on the board. "Ok, the betting is open," Nhightman whispered. "Three minutes," Sebastian replied. "Five minutes," Nei answered. "Seven minutes," Prim said. "I chose two minutes myself," Nhightman added. "Brave man," Sebastian said. "Now class, today we will begin with a quick review of some phrases, and then move onto some history of Spain, which as you know is rich in culture. Many things you take for granted you can thank Spain for, and if not Spain than some of the many Spanish speaking countries." "Like Colombia?" Vaux asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 88 "Uh…yes…well Colombia does make its contribution," Kitchell admitted. "A very white contribution," Sebastian said. "Ah, the white mountains of Colombia," Prim sang. "Anyway class, first we will review the kind of vocabulary you will need if you visit a Spanish speaking country," Kitchell continued. "I don't see the Spanish word for bathroom up there anywhere," Prim observed. "That's the most vital word in any language," Sebastian said. "Without it we'd have to fall back on the word commode." "I don't want to live in a world like that," Nei said. "Boys, could you be quiet?" Kitchell asked. "Sorry," they replied. "I really wish you would speak Spanish more," Kitchell complained. "That's a good attitude for being our teacher," Sebastian replied. "And we respect you immensely for it." "You know Latinas like me are known for our quick tempers," Kitchell said with a slight edge in her voice. "I'm shocked that you would perpetuate a stereotype like that," Sebastian retorted. "Especially in this stereotype ridden climate." Mister Salti backed into the room swinging his sword wildly at Zero. "You'll pay for this Salti! All your crimes against the people will be avenged!" Zero shouted. "You'll never defeat the might of the Spanish Empire Señor Zero!" Salti shouted and lunged at his enemy sending the battle back into the hallway. "Oy, Señor Zero," Kitchell swooned. "So much for dealing with stereotypes," Sebastian muttered. "All right, now that the disruptions are over we shall continue the vocab!" Senorita Kitchell said. "Aye! Continue the vocab!" came a voice and in strode three members of a mariachi band holding guitars. "Four minutes thirty two seconds," Nhightman reported looking at his watch. "I win," Nei said. The band began to play a tune as the Senorita proceeded to dance. Once the dancing finished the senorita continued her lesson. "Can I dance next time?" Vaux asked.

Some Road. You aren't even trying anymore…the stolen Vauxmobile shot down a town road, as federal agents raced after it. "They just don't give up do they?" Stiegg remarked. "You know Stiegg, since we've spent a lot of time together I thought I should let you know about the other form this car can take," The computer volunteered. "Oh tell me it can transform into a robot!" Stiegg exclaimed. "Uh…no. But if you press that red button, it turns into a sports car."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 89 "It does?" "Yes." "All right then!" Stiegg pressed the button. "Go go Vauxmobile!" the computer shouted. The van bounced and stretched becoming a sleek vehicle in the process. "All right!" Stiegg cheered and hit the gas. The Sheriff's car skidded onto the street right behind him. "Better pull that thing over boy!" Sheriff Hill yelled into a megaphone. "That's all I need," Stiegg said in a panic and piloted the car onto a side street. He shifted gears. "I gotta find a place to hide," he reasoned. Behind him the Sheriff had other plans. "All right, this is the Sheriff," Hill said into his radio. "Now…get the posse and get rolling! We're going to set up an old fashioned road block!" "Roger that Sheriff," Deputy Gopher replied. "Sheriff, we must catch him. He has several outstanding warrants," a federal agent said through the radio channel. "He's also got an ass whipping coming," Hill answered. Stiegg was losing his cool. He noticed Conrad Middle School was looming to his left. He veered off the road and raced across the middle school's large athletic field. "This'll give me room to work with," he said as his body shook with anxiety. The Sheriff and Federal cars raced after him, he spun the wheel and tried to get around them. "Not this time nugget!" the Sheriff shouted and headed him off. Stiegg swerved to avoid the Sheriff and found himself barreling straight towards the school itself. "Uh oh!" he shouted. "Engage the armor!" the computer shouted. "This car has armor? What was Vaux thinking?" Stiegg asked. "All right….where?" "Blue button." Stiegg pressed it. The car was surrounded by steel. "What the hell is he doing?" The Sheriff asked mystified by the result. The Vauxmobile rocketed into the air and slammed through the school wall with the force of eighty sugary juice mascots. It coasted into the cafeteria. The middle school students all looked at it. "Hey! That car sucks!" one of them shouted. "You suck!" A second student shouted. "No you do!" A third shouted. "But the car sucks more!" the first shouted. "It does not, you suck more!" the second shouted.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 90 "Hey, you suck more than sucking is possible! You suck!" the third shouted. "You suck!" a fourth student yelled. "Stop all this talk about sucking you all suck!" yet another student yelled. "Hey, jackass, you suck!" a sixth added. Stiegg quickly piloted the Vauxmobile around the students and smashed through the far wall back out to the road on the other side of the building. "The wall sucks!" the first kid shouted. "Dammit, he's used the oldest trick in the book!" the Sheriff shouted into the radio back on the athletic fields. "Smashing through a middle school?" a fed asked in shock. "Hey, city boy, we have different ways out here," the Sheriff said. "Now let's catch that bastard!"

Student Council President's Office. Dave climbed under his desk and started messing with it. There was a knock on the door. "Come in," came Dave's voice. Lucio strode in. "Uh Dave…" Lucio began. "Where are you?" "Under the desk," Dave answered. "Uh…okay." Dave popped up. "You didn't seem like the under the desk type," Lucio said. "Oh I'm not, but I'm sticking gum under the desk so my successor will put his hand into it." "Soddin' clever that is." "Oh anyway. Look I've done some investigating about this whole Cooper disappearance thing and…" Lucio began. "Why would you investigate it? Who gives a crap?" Dave interrupted. I wonder that myself. "Weren't you worried about the person coming after you?" Lucio asked. "No, because I know who he is and that it's not like that," Dave revealed. "Remember I'm the author." "Oh you are, that's right," Lucio answered and drew a crossbow from concealment. "Oh please…" Dave groaned at the revelation that Lucio had an agenda. "I'm afraid my superiors would very much like to hear what you can tell them," Lucio said menacingly pointing the crossbow at him. "And I'm afraid the next paragraph involves several killer moths," Dave declared. A swarm of killer moths flew down the hallway, surrounded Lucio, and stung him repeatedly and quickly. He fell to the ground hollering in pain. Seconds later he lay motionless and the moths flew away in formation. Dave returned to his work sticking gum under his desk.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 91 Conrad County Outer Limits. Stiegg hit the gas. "Now approaching the border," the computer announced. "Obstruction in road." "What!?" he exclaimed. A pickup truck was parked in front of the border. "Hah hah, better give up boy, or the posse's going to get ya," Sheriff Hill shouted into a megaphone as his cruiser was just feet from the Vauxmobile. "No way!" Stiegg screamed and pressed the armor button. "Armor disabled," the computer reported. "Why!?" "Armor disabled." "Fuck." The car raced towards the pickup and the posse opened fire. The Vauxmobile slammed into the pickup truck, flipped, rolled, and slammed into the street skidding to a stop right before a sign that read: "Welcome to Massachusetts, we're glad you finally decided against staying in Connecticut." Stiegg crawled out of the car and was immediately surrounded and subdued. "Hah, nice try dung heap," Sheriff Hill said. "He's a Federal prisoner now!" one of the agents asserted. "Oh no you don't desk jockey! He's going to spend the night with me down at the County Jail. You and your stuffed shirts can come take him away in your paper pushing inbox-outbox cars later." "Ehh…whatever," the fed groaned. Elmweed. Later that afternoon, the Vauxmobile Two careened around the corner and slammed into a house…That was ahem…abrupt. Wait…Vaux has a second car? "Vaux! The light was red!" Vic squealed from the passenger seat. "Isn't it always?" Vaux replied. "Ehh…" Vic muttered. A siren wailed. "Oh no not the Sheriff!" Vic blurted. Sheriff Hill approached the van. "Well craphead…looks like you're in a heap a trouble," the Sheriff announced walking to the side of the car. "Where you headed?" he asked. "Other than in to the side of a fine citizen's residence?" "Home from school, that's all," Vaux answered. "You've just found yourself a ride," the Sheriff said snidely. "Come on."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 92 Conrad County Jail. Not long after they were arrested the pair were dragged down a corridor in the cell block. "I can't be thrown in jail! They'll beat me up!" Vic yelled hysterically. "Don't worry, we're going to put you in a cell with your friend Vaux," the Sheriff said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!" Vic shouted. "Okay, okay, I'll put you in a cell with someone else." Vic breathed a sigh of relief until he realized what cell he was being lead into. Sitting on a bed was Complexity. A pretzel rod stuck out of his mouth like a cigar, and he was humming the French national anthem. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vic screamed.

Main Street. Mac Daddy One drove along. Plague not surprisingly was at the wheel. Dave sat in the passenger seat. "Now Dave, before you officially get impeached I was hoping you could…" "I've already transferred the rest of the Student Council's funds into your Swiss bank account," Dave replied. "The consequences will be the next person's problem." "Excellent work. You may have a use in the new order," Plague said. "I have to pick up Connery. Apparently they confiscated his car again, and I can only assume you're going to try to get the others out?" "Seems like the thing to do," Dave admitted. Mac Daddy One parked in front of the Sheriff's office which was a small building attached to the larger courthouse behind Conrad Town Hall. Connery was actually walking out as they pulled up. "Hah! Even you can get caught," Dave said. "It was only for a speeding infraction," Connery muttered. "How fast were you going?" Dave asked. "25," Connery said. "How could you be speeding?" Dave asked. "It was inside a shopping mall. It's a long story, but needless to say I was acting in the best interest of myself at least." "Hmm…enough of these worldly matters. I'll be back in a few minutes," Plague bellowed and drove away. "What brings you here?" Connery asked. "Considering half of my acquaintances are in jail I thought I'd come down and see them and maybe get them out," Dave said. "That's noble," Connery said. "Even if it is also stupid."

Inside The Conrad County Jail. "Guard!" Complexity shouted. "Yeah what?" the Sheriff said walking down the cell block. "I want a metal cup, this plastic cup just stinks," Complexity said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 93 "Now you look here! You just want a metal cup so you can bang it against the bars! I've dealt with your type before," Hill yelled. "Aw…come…on! Just one little metal cup?" Complexity begged "No!" "Sheriff, has my family made my bail yet?" Vic asked. "You have a family? I figured you were one of those 'in vitro' whatever they are," the Sheriff said. "Yes, but I have a family too," Vic said. "Haven't seen 'em," the Sheriff said. "SHERIFF!" Gopher shouted down the hallway "Visitors!" "Fuck," Hill snarled. Several minutes later Stiegg was brought out and put behind a glass wall. Dave and Connery sat on the other side. "So. Stiegg. How's life in jail?" Dave asked. "I get good food here," Stiegg replied. "Hah hah," Connery said. "That was the whole reason you came in with me wasn't it? Just to laugh?" Dave asked. "Yeah," Connery admitted and kept laughing. "You really bug me sometimes," Dave replied. To their surprise Lucio came in a side door followed by Complexity and the Sheriff himself. "What's going on?" Dave asked. "Hmm…well it seems that Complexity here was able to give us a lead on another case we're looking into. Plus Lucio here vouched for him," Sheriff Hill. "Remember, the third headstone is hollow," Complexity said. "But the fourth headstone is really a fire station." "Uh yes, well anyway," Hill muttered. "How did you survive?" Dave whispered to Lucio. "We train for these types of things," Lucio answered back. "You and I will settle things…someday…there is no time now." Lucio turned to the Sheriff. "Sheriff Hill. Stiegg here is now a Federal witness in a larger case. I worked it out with the FBI, there will be no charges." "Maybe from you," Sheriff Hill snorted. "And from you too," Lucio said sternly. The Sheriff glared at him and stormed off. Deputy Gopher led Stiegg out the door to them. "Thanks Lucio, I owe you," Stiegg said. "Yes, you do," Lucio agreed. Seconds later Vaux and Vic were tossed out the door as well. "These two aren't worth the trouble! Fuck it!" Hill howled.

Conrad Center. The center of town was lined with dozens of stores and eateries, most of which were not worth the time. Seru sat outside of one of many of Conrad's overpriced stores drinking a soda. What could be keeping Melody and Tarusia? She thought. A young girl, definitely no more than six plodded down the street alone. "Hey," Seru said with concern. "Hello," the girl said. "Where are your parents?" "Dunno, I ran away." "Oh, well we need to find them," Seru said worriedly. "Oh." As Seru was trying to figure out the next move, the street went dead quiet. Clouds began to swirl unnaturally all around and it grew dark. "This isn't normal," she said in realization and drew her wand. "What's happening!" the child shrieked. A blackish wave swam down the street knocking everyone it touched to the ground. She shielded the child with her body. A silvery trimmed white shield shimmered around them. The wave passed by her and the child harmlessly. Sadistic laughter filled the air as the fairly old Lincoln Town Car of a light blue tint screeched around a corner and stopped. The driver's door opened and Plague stepped out one boot at a time. "You had a good entrance going until the car!" Seru shouted at him. "You are in no position to be insolent," Plague spat. "Now give me your Stone of Rhigarr!" "What Stone of Rhigarr?" Seru said backing up as the girl backed with her. "That stone in your wand! Give it up and no one has to get hurt!" Plague demanded. Seru's eyes widened and she started to contemplate her options as he drew closer.

Still Conrad Center. Plague advanced on Seru methodically. He angrily uprooted the numerous trees from either side of the street and knocked them onto parked cars as he walked. Each step seemed to bring another pair down sending metal and glass debris over the sidewalk. "Do not make me repeat myself!" he shouted. "I'm not going to give you the crystal," Seru replied stubbornly. The young girl clung to her. Plague laughed as a ball of black and grey gaseous power swirled in his palm. "Come on. Can't you see you'll hurt this girl?" Seru asked. "I do not wish to harm children. However, if my dark agenda is not successful, all children will face far greater horrors. Let her seek shelter and surrender the stone!" Plague thundered. "Go! Go! Hide," Seru implored quickly. The girl scampered down an alleyway between a toy store and a likely doomed restaurant…or bistro if you will…a joint… "Now…the business!" Plague barked. Seru's crystal glowed in a way it hadn't before. The familiar light was present, but dozens of sparkles rose from the stone at a rapid rate and golden auras circled the gem. "What?" she exclaimed. "EH?" Plague muttered. Before either could react further, energy exploded out from the crystal with the color and force of a whirlwind of rainbows. The surprisingly potent response propelled Plague backwards into a nearby traffic light pole. He sank to the ground. Seru looked at her wand dumbfounded by the increase in strength. The wand shimmered and crackled, and became a long sword, with the crystal embedded in the hilt. The sword wand was surrounded by the same flickering golden circles and it shined brightly. "Nice!" she shouted in amazement. Plague's recovery was nearly immediate, but as he tried to rise the sound of a beautiful harmony swept across the street and with it a succession of yellow glowing circles as a purple phoenix simultaneously dived at him from above. The villain blocked each threat with hastily formed shadow shields. The circles instead crashed into a bakery for mollusks resulting in a cascade of strange looking food pouring out on the sidewalk. The phoenix hit a sweater vest emporium and took out several racks of clothing before hitting the cashier's desk and denting it dramatically. Tarusia and Melody quickly dropped from the toy store roof to land beside their friend. "Sorry we're late," Melody said. "Please don't tell me you were late because you had to climb onto the roof," Seru said. "No, we were already doing the rooftop thing before the battle started we'd guess," Melody answered. "It's a shortcut," Tarusia added. "Fools!" Plague shouted as his hands crackled with energy. He punched the ground uprooting the sidewalk and throwing Melody and Tarusia back down the street. The

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 96 assault also totally wrecked the outside dining area of the bistro…the joint…the hangout...causing Seru to duck as artsy metal chairs flew at her randomly. Four trees were flung upward and collided with the toy store. Stuffed mollusks…what is with the mollusks…sigh…stuffed mollusks tumbled out the now destroyed windows and exploded…exploded…what…I…what… "Fucking really?" Tarusia muttered landing awkwardly. Melody also managed to keep her balance though the landing was not smooth. A pulsating beam launched out from Seru's sword. Plague grinned and held up a hand to block the new assault. It dissipated though he winced slightly at what he had to expend to thwart her attack. He flicked three fingers unleashing a trio of crackling lightning bolts. Seru braced herself and built up for a counter strike. "What's going on!?" came a scream. Seru turned and saw the child was running back towards her in a panic. She leapt and tried to release her power all while diving towards the girl. Plague's lightning bolts exploded when it hit her energy and she narrowly avoided feeling the impact as she pushed the child away and slammed into the pavement. "Dammit, dammit, dammit," she muttered standing hurriedly and wincing. "You can't keep that up!" Plague taunted. "You have to run! Hide over there in the parking garage!" she said urgently to the child pointing to the garage across the parking lot at the end of the alley. The child nodded and headed in that direction despite the fear. Seru spun to see a much larger and menacing globe of black and grey flying towards her. Instinctively she twisted her sword up in front of her. The blade slashed through the ball splitting it, though the two forces coming into contact created a small explosion which threw her backwards. She managed to land on two feet and attacked again immediately. The beam of light was joined by two other energy surges from the returning Melody and Tarusia. Plague scowled and waved his hand blocking the combined attack. This time the impact knocked him into his car. He bounced off it slightly. "Impossible," he uttered and headed for the driver's seat. The three watched carefully. He swung open the driver's door and scowled. "You managed to stop me this time, but not next time...next time!" Plague vociferated before leaping into his car. Mac Daddy One started up as metal wings slid out of each side of the vehicle. It gained speed and lifted off the ground flying skyward at high speed barely missing the giant trees overhanging the road as it did ...ok...what? "You ok?" Tarusia and Melody asked. "Just a little bruised," Seru said noticing the scorch marks on her shirt. She noticed the child peering around a wall. "You can come back out," she said gently putting aside her frustration that the child still hadn't gotten that far. The child hesitantly did so. "That was a little unnerving. He wants my crystal," Seru said. The three looked over the streetscape now filled with calamity. Dozens lay unconscious and multiple stores were damaged. Not a car along the road had been spared plus trees were scattered about as if a tornado had passed through. "Well…shit," Tarusia muttered. Sebastian's Ford bounded over a hill at the end of the street at high speed and skidded up, narrowly

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 97 missing three or four other damaged cars in the process, as chiptune fight music blared from a CD player. Sebastian, Prim, and Nei all leapt out quickly. "We heard what was happening over the police scanner," Nei said. "No we didn't," Prim countered. "I know but it's kinda cool to say we did," Nei said. Everyone glanced at him. "Hey, don't give me that look! I'm far more grounded than most of the characters!" Nei shouted. Strika Addendum appeared in a flash. The six friends all looked at her warily. "What just happened?" she asked in surprise. "Did Plague attack you? That was unexpected. He rarely moves openly so quickly." "Whatever you expected of him, he did the opposite, but Seru drove him off," Melody responded. "You did? How?" Strika asked in shock. "I'm sorry that sounds rude, but even with you possessing a Stone of Rhigarr, he is a demigod." "Perhaps you've forgotten how this works," Prim answered. "Ya know…good heart plus hopes and dreams…et cetera…lead to power buildups unexpectedly." "Oh, yes I guess I had forgotten that part of it. It's been a long time since…" Strika trailed off. "Be wary though, hopes and dreams do help, but in the end…power…is everything." She and Seru exchanged a serious stare. "You've made yourself a very difficult target. Plague's desire to take over the world may keep him busy and override his desire to get your crystal for awhile though. You had better hope," Strika continued. "Yeah, that's the normal pattern with those who wish to dominate the world. Narrow focus." Sebastian stated. "Does it happen with you?" Prim asked. "Absolutely, after all, I haven't attacked Seru yet have I?" Sebastian asked. "That's not exactly what I meant," Prim said. "Were you planning to attack me?" Seru asked glaring at him. "The short answer to that question is no," Sebastian replied "You bastard!" Nei shouted. Melody looked over Sebastian cautiously. "Did it get weird just now?" Sebastian asked. "Watch yourself," Tarusia warned gesturing with her blade. "As I was trying to say, I will keep an eye on Plague and help when I can," Strika said. "I'm not sure we want your help," Melody responded instinctively inching her way between Strika and Seru. "You will have it anyway…for now," Strika said as her smile disappeared followed by her vanishing seconds later. "Let's just get this kid to safety ok?" Seru suggested weakly. The strain had caught up to her and she felt very tired…Wow, a character with redeeming moral value. This is a first.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 98 I'm full of surprises. You're really not. "Let's just get her to the Sheriff's Station. I need a nap," Seru implored. "We can't all fit in the car," Sebastian said. "Prim, Nei…I invite you to enjoy the roof."

Sheriff's Station. As the various characters emerged out onto the sidewalk in front of the Sheriff's Station they were surprised to see Mac Daddy One flying down and coasting to a stop in front. Plague emerged angrily. "I am growing tired of all these obstacles!" he shouted. "What obstacles?" Connery asked. "Never mind! I expect gas money from all of you!" he screamed. The six shrugged and climbed into the car. "This is a tight squeeze," Stiegg observed. "No complaints, in fact no one talk at all," Plague ordered and started moving his winged car. As this was happening, Seru and her friends were rounding the corner behind them in the Sebastianmobile. "Fuck those guys," Prim said from the roof and raised his arm. He hesitated. "You're not going to stop me?" he asked through the sun roof. "Not today," Seru responded coldly. Prim shrugged and launched a small missile from the wrist device. It slammed into the right wing of Mac Daddy One and knocked it off balance during its takeoff roll. The car swerved out of control across a nearby lawn and through the parking lot of Conrad Town Hall. The Lincoln smashed into several cars, missed the town's war memorial by a smidge, and slammed into the front entrance to the building. The 'C' and the 'O' from 'Conrad Town Hall' which was written in block lettering over the entrance, fell down and dented the hood. "What the fuck!" an enraged Plague shouted. The rest of the group piled out of the car. "Is everyone all right?" Lucio asked responsibly. "If you are, I'll make it not that way!" Plague snapped. "What is the meaning of this!" Mayor Crossgrave hollered running out the door. "It was a traffic accident clearly," Connery answered snidely. "HOW?" Crossgrave shouted. "You are perturbing me," Plague hissed. "Careful, it's the Mayor here," Dave cautioned. "Wait…you're him!" Crossgrave said. "You're the Student Council President that's got The Viceroy all upset!" "Uh…hi?" Dave responded.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 99 "Was this an attack!?" Crossgrave asked in shock. "Are you coming after us!?" "Er…no…this was an accident," Dave said. "I don't believe you! I'm calling the…" A second later he was a potted plant. Plague picked up the plant and placed beside the automatic doors of the entryway. "He will regain human form in a few days. I can't deal with any more nonsense right now!" Plague snapped kicking his damaged car repeatedly.

Sheriff's Department Lobby. The relatively benevolent characters, other than Sebastian, waited. Deputy Gopher emerged from the bathroom and moved behind the desk. "What's goin on?" Gopher asked. "We found this kid alone on the street," Melody volunteered as Seru was already leaning against a wall fast asleep. "Strange," Gopher said. "What's your name little girl?" "Ajax," the girl replied. "AJAX?" everyone conscious responded in shock. "Yes Ajax mo-fos," the girl said. "You shouldn't know that phrase," Nei said. "Don't patronize me shi…" "Ok ok!" Tarusia interrupted. "Ajax is a lovely name." "Where are ya parents?" Gopher asked. "Don't know. I ran away." "Where do ya live?" Gopher pressed. "Why would I tell you? I ran away!" "How old are you?" "I don't have to answer your questions!" the kid snapped and ran for the door. Tarusia snatched her quickly. "Let me go you annoying cleric!" Ajax screamed. Tarusia carried her over to the desk and placed her atop it. "Good luck!" she snapped and the five moved to exit. Nei nudged Seru awake and the six hurried out. Gopher looked at the kid suspiciously. Another door swung open and Sheriff Hill raced into the lobby. "Some sort of fucking accident at Town Hall! We gotta...who is the kid?" "Ajax," Gopher replied. "What the…whatever…I'll take care of this myself!" Hill cried.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 100 Japan. Jameson stood once again in the appointed meeting place. There was no wind this time. No insects either. There was barely any sound at all. Himura approached and stood across from him. "Jameson, I am sorry for wasting your time so much, however life is not a tightly written novel. I must depart, I am needed at the farm. It is the harvest." The man turned to walk away. "Himura…interesting how you should mention that things are not tightly written," Jameson said with a grin. The ground exploded all around Himura as dirt and fire soared upward enveloping the procrastinating warrior. He managed to turn weakly at Jameson and gave one last look at his foe before falling to the charred earth…lifeless. "I win," Jameson declared. "You missed your chance for a fair fight." Himura's sword had been blasted free of its owner in the tumult. Jameson examined the weapon, which was not a Katana, as stereotypes would suggest, but instead a broadsword with a scabbard decorated with Katakana characters and roses. The hilt was clearly hand carved and textured with designs. The student clutched his prize and threw a portal jar.

Serpent's Cavern. Jameson arrived, as he usually did, in a corner of the store as some ruckus was going on. Though this time, the two opposing factions were engaged in an intense game of some kind. Jameson approached to find that it was a gigantic game of Ladders and Tubes. "Why…are…you playing that?" he asked in shock that the kids game had made it into the rotation. "It's Sebastian's rules. They're complicated and dark," Tamrisu remarked. The room nodded in agreement. "Yet he is not here," Jameson noticed. "He was called away. Plague made a move on Seru," Tamrisu explained. "How is this place still standing?" Jameson asked. "Because we made a deal; We wouldn't go to Plague's aid if all these people here didn't go to Seru's," Tamrisu said. "I approved of this deal because it involved less work. What is that in your hand?" "Himura's sword," Jameson replied holding up the ash covered weapon. "You finally went with the land mines then?" Tamrisu asked. "I...uh…how did you know?" Jameson responded in surprise. "It's what I would do…if I cared. Still…congratulations." "Huzzah!" the Tamrisu faction shouted in unison. "You blew up a swordsman with land mines?" Sissiphor hissed from the other side of the table. "I did," Jameson confirmed. "Not bad, not bad," Sissiphor said and the eviler elements of Seru's faction all clapped as well. "I'm glad we were able to find common ground on me dishonorably using land mines in a swordfight," Jameson said and waved.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 101 Conrad Town Hall. Sheriff Hill sprinted across the grass towards Town Hall. As he passed by the wrecked cars in the parking lot he drew nearer to the entrance. But as he got even closer he realized that no one was there. All that was left was severe damage to the doors and brickwork outside. "That plant wasn't there before," he noted.

Conrad High School Parking Lot. Mac Daddy One materialized in a cloud of smoke and winged walruses. "What a dramatic waste of energy!" Plague growled as he pushed open his damaged door and the various protagonists got out. Zaee and Edgea stood close by looking at the undignified entrance with amusement. "Having trouble boys?" they asked in unison. "Let's try not to speak in unison," Zaee quickly added. "Agreed," Edgea said. "Why are you here?" Plague and Connery both snapped at them. "Zak called us in after you were attacked. Figured we'd have to plan a new strategy," Zaee answered. "He was right. Clearly you weren't prepared." "I wasn't ready to move against them," Connery replied. "This is Plague's decision." "I took the opportunity when I had it!" Plague shouted. "I knew Strika was occupied elsewhere albeit briefly and Seru's forces were scattered. Can you blame me?" "Probably not," Edgea admitted. "But now what are you going to do? Clearly you didn't expect her to kick your ass." Edgea and Zaee both laughed quite a bit at that. "She did not kick any...ass! I surmised that the situation was unpredictable and showed rare caution" Plague hissed. Edgea and Zaee just continued to smile at him. "Sure," they finally said in unison. "Dammit," they added again in unison. Plague said nothing further and stormed into the building. Connery, Zaee, and Edgea followed. Vic, Vaux, Stiegg, Complexity, Lucio, and Dave remained outside all somewhat unsure of what to do next. "Let's go get some hummus," Vaux suggested. "All right," Vic agreed. "You guys in?" Vaux asked. "I'm in," Stiegg said. The other three shook their heads. Vaux, Vic, and Stiegg got into the Vauxmobile…which was mysteriously there and not…at the Sheriff's station you continuity challenged psychopath Dave… "HUMMUS!" the three cried happily and drove away. Within 2.1 seconds Complexity had grabbed Lucio and pushed him up against a car holding him roughly by the collar.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 102 "NOW AS FOR YOU MOTHER FUCKER…" he shouted. "EH?" Lucio asked. "…HIDALGO! WHERE IS MY ITEM!" "WHA?" Dave watched with a mixture of concern and amusement. "HIDALGO!" Complexity screamed. "So you're not mad about the…other stuff? You're just going crazy?" Lucio asked. "Oh…yes…that actually is what I'm pissed about! Thank you for the reminder good sir!" Complexity howled banging Lucio into the window of the vehicle. "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? IS IT THE DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR!? GOING ON SECRET BISON MISSIONS! TRYING TO TURN THINGS INTO NATIONAL PARKS! WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE NATIONAL PARKS!" "I can't tell you!" Lucio shouted back in fear. "Complexity…release him," Dave urged. "What are you…fucking Grand Moff Tarkin now…Quotey McQuotenstein?" Complexity snapped and tossed Lucio to the pavement roughly. Lucio adjusted himself and stood back up. "You owe him one," Dave reminded Complexity. "Yeah…all right…" Complexity muttered and kicked Lucio in the shin sending the boy to the ground hard. "Thank you for your assistance!" Complexity cried. Lucio sighed and winced. "I could really use some help. What do I need to provide in exchange?" Dave said. "Help? From us?" Lucio asked. "Yes, provided you don't plan on crossbowing anything," Dave said. "Or else I'll have to moth your ass again." "Moths? Why not use something more dangerous like bees?" Complexity said. "That was in the first draft but I was beaten to the punch on that one," Dave explained. "By whom?" Complexity asked. "No need to get into that," Dave responded. "I think we can come to some arrangement," Lucio responded. "I want a nacho gift certificate," Complexity demanded. "Done," Dave said and handed him one. "Nice!" Complexity said pocketing it. "I need to know what the Byzantine Sons are actually up to. I need your skills and brutality," Dave announced. "Let's roll!" Complexity said and hurried for his yellow 1984 Pontiac station wagon. "Gentlemen…climb inside Yellow Thunder!" Lucio and Dave reluctantly did so. Complexity took the front seat and put on a fighter pilot's helmet which read "HEAD LEADER" in block lettering across the front.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 103 "You have any idea where to start?" Dave asked. "Oh…yes…" Complexity answered and hit the clutch.

Serpent's Cavern. "We'll skin ya all ya weaklings!" one of the warriors shouted. "You won't get within five feet of me before I blast you into a mess no one will recognize," one of the armored girls replied. "Guys, take it outside!" Tamrisu shouted. "I though you had an agreement!" Jameson yelled. "The agreement was that they didn't aid allies, not that they didn't launch into a brawl here," Tamrisu said. "Listen, you all can have a fight to the death, but do it in the parking lot all right?" The two sides looked at each other. "Fine," they all said and headed out. Half a minute later the two armies were at each other's throats. The warriors all let out a battle cry and charged. The Orkes rushed at them waving their implements of pain high. The Dwarves threw battle axes into the melee. The sailor suited, armored, and conventionally dressed girls…that is a mouthful…really…anyway they were throwing bursts of energy around and wizards were blocking them with magic shields. "This could do some damage," Tamrisu observed from the doorway. "Just a bit," Jameson agreed. Over the sounds of battle came the whir of a siren. The Sheriff's Plymouth rolled up. The battle stopped and everyone tried to look innocent. Sheriff Hill climbed out of his car and walked toward them. "Now what exactly is this hootenanny supposed to be about?" he asked. He caught site of one of the Orkes. "You're not from around here are you boy?" he asked. "What are you? Some kind of Ogre?" "Orke," the thing growled. "Mister Orke, welcome to Conrad County. The road outta town is thataway. I suggest ya take it." The Sheriff groaned and turned toward the whole group. "Now, I'm not going to have this kind of fightin' in my county! All of you disperse! And if you ever start somethin' like this again, I'm gonna haul you all down to the lockup! Go on now!" At the Sheriff's insistence the warring factions all went their separate ways. Soon there was no one in the lot. The Sheriff, satisfied, drove back to the office to process the paperwork on the town hall being attacked and a still as yet unexplained magical showdown in the center of town. "I hate everything," Hill admitted to himself.

Main Street. Yellow Thunder struggled its way down the town's central road back into the former battle zone. "Wow, hat rack store got fucked up," Complexity observed slamming on the brakes ridiculously hard before pulling into a spot. "I'm new at this whole info acquiring game. How does it work?" Dave asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 104 "Watch and learn," Complexity directed. He and Lucio walked up to a boom box toting homeboy who was leaning against an intact fashionable light pole. "What up Chester!" Complexity said punching him the face. "You're gunna tells us what you know!" Lucio shouted. "Ok ok," The hood conceded. "Some guys from the mansion district have been seen over in Little Croatia. They were talking to Welles High guys, sugar sniffers themselves." "And what have they been doing?" Lucio asked. "I dunno, but normally anytime we see a Welles guy he's either trying to find a girl, or up to something. You know?" The hood said. "Thank you kindly," Complexity said tossing a five dollar bill at the guy's feet. "Let's go." "Wow," Dave said. "I'm impressed," he lied. "It takes a while to build that kind of skill up," Complexity said. "Takes a lot of practice," Lucio said.

Conrad High School Command Center. Plague, Connery, Zaee, Edgea, and Zak looked up at the projection of the ID photos of the six members of the Seru Faction that were displayed on the view screen. Nhightman looked at the scene worriedly as he entered. "What's going on?" he asked. "Plague tried to take on Seru and found he was not up to the task," Edgea answered as she and Zaee started laughing again. "Cease this mockery!" Plague thundered. "Lord Plague, are you sure you should be doing that?" Nhightman asked. "You dare question me?" Plague snapped. "My life is pretty disposable anyway, but yes," Nhightman replied. "In the great battle that is to come, don't we need as many allies as possible…or at the very least not enemies?" "He has a point, I am reluctant to admit," Connery noted. "They challenged Tamrisu and our allies! They fired upon my personal chariot!" "The Town Car's his chariot?" Zak whispered in amusement. Zaee and Edgea chuckled. "These acts cannot be ignored. They will submit to us or there shall be no mercy," Plague responded. "In theory, but this is complicated by Strika running around too," Connery admitted. "We will not act hastily," Plague responded. "But we will act." "With your sausage fest of an army, how can you fail?" Edgea added and cracked up as Zaee joined her. "I am not responsible for Dave's horrible writing, pacing, and flawed character designs!" Plague snapped. "Do you know how often I have tried to literally melt the words with my divine power?" "Twice?" Zak volunteered. "Your answer bothers me. You all bother me," Plague hissed and teleported away.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 105 "You had all better be careful," Connery warned. "You know Plague is quick to lash out…even against allies." "I'm not going to stop living just because we work with a Dark Lord of Pestilence, Famine, War, and Death!" Edgea snapped, though she quickly regained her sinister grin. Zaee nodded in agreement. Nhightman just looked at the screen fearfully and the six grinning faces starring back at him.

Little Croatia. The ethnic neighborhood was at the west end of the Conrad-Hartford border whereas Realm of Comics was at the east end. It was, as the name suggested, known for its Croatian culture and cooking. "I know just where to get information in this place," Complexity said. "I really need to learn more about dealing with the streets," Dave admitted. "It's a good skill to have," Lucio agreed. Complexity pulled the car in front of a seedy looking place called "Iglaw's Bar." "Don't worry they don't serve alcohol in here. It's basically just a place people go to drink soda and fight," Complexity explained "We'll be right back." He and Lucio went inside and up to the bar. "Ah it is Complexity and Lucio, two of my favorite Americans," the mustached Iglaw said warmly. "What can I do for you boys today?" "You seen these guys?" Complexity asked holding up a picture. "No," Iglaw answered. "Good that was just a test," Complexity said flinging the picture to the ground. "Now the real questions." "You seen any Welles High School Students?" Lucio asked. "Absolutely. There's about fifteen of them sitting behind you," Iglaw said. The two spun. The Welles High School students noticed them and stood. "All right! I didn't even need to ask you to stand up to get your spleens kicked," Complexity taunted. "Complexity, the odds are a bit uneven," Lucio pointed out. "That's never mattered to me." "You don't win many fights." "Obviously," Complexity confirmed as he took a fighting stance. Dave heard the noises of the fight as he stood outside. Several minutes later Complexity and a Welles high prep went smashing through the door of the bar. "Uh Dave, Lucio's getting beaten on by about 14 people, could you call for help?" Complexity asked pummeling his opponent. "Right right," Dave said picking up the convenient CB radio installed in Complexity's car. "This is Dave, over." "What's up Dave?" Zak asked. "Over." "Complexity and Lucio are in over their heads at Iglaw's Bar in Little Croatia." "Correction! Lucio's in over his head, I'm fine!" Complexity shouted elbowing the Welles student.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 106 "Right right, just send some help please," Dave implored. "Do you mean like Vic?" Zak asked. "I mean whoever you have!" Dave yelled. "All right, this'll be interesting," Zak said. "You asked for it." Thirty seconds later a Toyota Tercel skidded up to the bar. The Hooligans hopped out, and slammed their doors in unison. "We intercepted a transmission that said there was a fight and we decided to show up for no other reason then it is random to do so!" Daman shouted. "Let's go to town!" The four hurried into the bar. "That was unexpected," Dave admitted. "All right cake sniffer, talk!" Complexity demanded punching the Welles High student in the face. "I have nothing to say to your middle-class sorry behind," the student spat. "Oh yeah?" "Complexity I've got this one," Dave said grabbing the student. "Oh yeah?" Complexity asked. "Yep," Dave said and poked the kid in the eye. "TALK DAMMIT!" Dave shouted. "OK! OK!" the student shouted. "You learn quickly," Complexity noted. As the Welles student related the information that Complexity and Dave wanted to know, the Vauxmobile rounded a curve, fishtailed and rammed into a telephone pole. Vaux, Vic, and Stiegg climbed out. "That's some excellent driving there Vaux," Stiegg muttered. "Never mind that! It's time for a beating!" Vaux shouted running into the bar. Vic shrugged and walked in. The Welles High student continued to relate information. "Looks like this is the break we're looking for," Dave said. "Now just what to do about it." "Heh…well you suck so what options are there?" Complexity asked. "A valid question," Dave admitted. Sirens sounded in the distance, but they were getting closer. "It's the cops! Beat it!" Stiegg shouted running back out of the bar carrying a bloodied Lucio on his back. The rest of the Conrad group fled as the Sheriff pulled up. Yellow Thunder was blocks away within a minute. "So what did you learn?" Lucio weakly asked leaning against the back seat trying not to think about the pain. "I've learned that we've been betrayed," Dave responded from the front seat. "I just need to prove it."

Chemistry Room 219. A recovered Mister Nikler stared down at his desk. His students waited silently. "HYDROGEN!" He shouted as his head rose. "ELEMENT NUMBER ONE! YOU DUMBASSES!" "Hmm…I'm in a bad mood. I have justification," Plague muttered and shocked the teacher with a lightning bolt. The teacher let out a scream and crumpled dead on the tile floor. Most of the class watched in horror as a minute passed. Plague waved his left hand. "Revive…" he said quietly. Nikler rose. "I give up…." the teacher groaned and pulled out a magazine. "I'm just going to study this. Talk amongst yourselves." "Plague, just what are we going to do about all the new people at the store?" Jameson asked. "Yes…it is annoying. They insisted we watch….Pokemon….then….Digimon. I AM GETTING MAD!" Tamrisu shouted. "This is really bad," Jameson stated reacting to Tamrisu's emotional outburst. "True, however… Strika Addendum is right. If I were to meet her in combat, no one would survive," Plague responded. "However, there are further complications beyond that, and also frankly, your dilemma doesn't concern me that much right now." "Why?" Tamrisu questioned. "Our other operations are quite time consuming. At this moment I have far more urgent issues at hand. It is an annoyance no doubt. I was initially all for preventing the arrival of the others at the store, but it is just not a priority anymore." "So now what?" Tamrisu angrily asked.. "You're on your own," Plague said. "If I feel like involving myself I will. I support you goals but I am very occupied." "Great," Jameson groaned. "This will require some effort." "Indeed," Tamrisu agreed. "Hey guys?" Vaux said leaning over. "I was looking for some 'getting fired out of a cannon action'. Do you know where I could get some?" The three stared at him in shock, awe, and hatred.

Chief Executive's Office. Acting Principal Curtiss looked at the variety of teas she had stashed in her file cabinet and considered what she would brew. She eventually chose some Lady Grey, and plopped the tea bag in the hot water she had recently warmed. McGowen wandered in continuing the narrative pattern.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 108 "So did Walter fix the lockers yet?" the ActPrince asked. "Yes he did, I tested it yesterday, and we sent him on his way," McGowen replied. "Our long nightmare is over then," Curtiss muttered. "Say…McGowen? How come ninety percent of the school's teachers are men? I can't get an answer out of the Board of Ed," the ActPrince asked. "I could chalk it up to centuries of societal injustice…" the Chief began. "…however in all honesty, most of them got better jobs over at that private school Queensford Forest." "That's…lovely…at least it makes sense," Curtiss responded. "Plus women aren't any good at science and math so…" McGowen continued. Within a second he transmogrified into a salamander. Strika Addendum wandered in the doorway. The ActPrince looked on in shock. "Uh…watch it!" Curtiss managed to utter. "Why?" Strika said landing her boot inches from the creature. "Uh that salamander…he is…" "He? How do you know it's a he?" Strika asked, edging her boot even closer to the salamander. "Uh I…uh…why are you here?" Curtiss asked in confusion. "Oh…I'm sorry…I thought I heard a commotion and was worried you were in trouble," Strika lied. "What possible commotion could you have heard?" Curtiss asked. "I don't know…I must be hearing things…I'm really quite embarrassed," Strika responded and moved her boot towards the salamander again. "I'm sorry I'll go." She strode out. McGowen appeared again in human form, though naked. "Good god!" Curtiss snapped. "UH! UH!…I…" The Security Chief stammered. Curtiss rushed to her coat rack and tossed him her overcoat. "Put it on dammit!" she cried and sank into her chair weeping. "Ahem…" The sound of a third voice startled the two participants in this awful life event. They both slowly turned to realize that Sheriff Hill stood tall in the door frame. "This a bad time?" he asked. "Clearly," Curtiss replied. "Sorry, can't wait," Hill said and took a seat unbidden in front of Curtiss. McGowen tightened the overcoat around him and remained crouched on the floor. "I will be stopping by when I have time to investigate the murder of this Cooper sucker," Sheriff Hill said. "Any cooperation you darn near can provide is welcome." "Of course Sheriff. Do you have any leads?" "Can't say consarnit," the Sheriff answered. "However if you have any idea who might want to have killed him, we would like to know." "McGowen?" Curtiss asked hating that she had to ask the nude man for information and that she had sent her resume in for this Acting Principal's job.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 109 "Take your pick. The entire school had it out for him," McGowen responded. "But is there anyone more likely ta' been involved?" Hill asked. "Ya know, one might call them there main characters in our little mystery…if you get ma' drift?" "Nope," McGowen replied. "Nope?" Hill replied in shock. "You're sure?" "Darn sure," McGowen said. "We have no specific leads here." "Strange. Ok then," Hill said and stood. "I'll start from scratch. Enjoy the nekkid." The Sheriff departed leaving the two to their pitiful lives. "You need to get some clothes on," Curtiss said. "Why did you lie to him? Isn't it very likely a handful of students are the most likely suspects?" "You'd think that, but I have a feeling that things are not as well plotted out as they seem," McGowen said. "Besides, Hill's an ass, and I don't like him." "I'll trust your judgment for now," Curtiss answered. McGowen laughed and stood. "Ugh the coat's not big enough!" The ActPrince shouted in horror.

Electronics Room. Dave looked over the computer intently and carefully manipulated the key pad. A vortex of Vanadium swirled signaling the arrival of Plague. The villain looked at him with surprise. "Hail Plague," Dave said weakly. "You lack enthusiasm in your praise," Plague boomed. "I lack enthusiasm in everything," Dave answered. "Explanation accepted. What are you doing here?" "Checking my email." "You don't get any email, you have no friends." "I pretend the spam is a long lost friend who can't speak English but who just wants to tell me how their day went," Dave replied. "Dave, if it wasn't for your usefulness…" Plague began. "I know. You'd cast me into some sort of evil pit of depression." "Depression? Hardly. More like desiccation!" "Whatever," Dave said. "Needless to say I wouldn't enjoy it." "On that you are correct." "It's not a lot but I managed to funnel 50 percent of the Student Council treasury into the Swiss bank account you share with Connery," Dave reported.. "I don't dare transfer anymore right now." "Why?" "Because someone might notice and all your plans might get discovered," Dave said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 110 "Possibly, though we've never had to fear the human authorities before. Still, I guess discretion has its value," Plague responded. "It's not just the authorities. Seru is watching," Dave pointed out. "Seru…" Plague hissed. "Again! I should have suspected. Obstacles are appearing everywhere." "Enjoy the money, I have class," Dave said and rushed past Connery who was entering. "Plague. Excellent," he said pulling on his lab coat. "Skipping class I see. How is your progress?" Plague inquired. "I'll show you," Connery said and moved over to his personal computer. He turned off his flying toasters screen saver and pulled up a file. "Using my hacking expertise I've been able to locate the diary of Quince Feci online," Connery stated. "Excellent," Plague replied. "Read it," Connery urged pointing to the document. "Before I do, isn't Y2K hilarious?" Plague remarked. "Well of course, they really think in a few years all the computers are going to crash?" Connery responded. "Fools. All the computers are going to crash but it will be in 1999, and it will be because we do it!" Plague declared. "No computer is 'us' compliant," Connery mused. "Anyway, take a look." "Dear diary. Fluffy isn't as fluffy today. I dreamed that I ruled the world, but that waffles caused me to die and that the red mist over my head was nothing but mosquitoes. Maybe I should lay off the barbiturates. I am such a pompous ass. Do they hate me because I'm ruining their lives? It's not that I want to be a god. I just am," Plague recited. "This guy has to be committed or something," Connery said. "If he thinks he can compete with me for control of this planet he will be committed…to the abyss," Plague growled. "If Feci's mind is unsound it may affect his tactics. I was just about to download this for future reference," Connery explained. "I don't think you will Connery," said someone behind them. The two spun to find Lucio standing there clad in a black suit and dark glasses. In his hands was a pair of deadly looking crossbows. "Lucio? What are you doing?" Plague asked in disbelief "You will erase what you have found from the computer's data banks and forget you ever saw this. Is that clear?" Lucio barked. "Oh. Okay Lucio," Connery said and set about pulling the diary off the screen…by minimizing the window. Lucio blinked for a second providing an opportunity and Plague blasted him in the head with a pair of beams emanating from his ears. Lucio's face contorted and he shook before regaining his composure. "Woah. Hey guys. How's it going? Woah. I have crossbows here. Where'd I get those?" he said in surprise as he studied his situation. Plague quickly vaporized the weapons with a brown bolt. "You have an attack from your ears?" Connery whispered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 111 "Who would ever suspect?" Plague whispered back. "Lucio, you don't remember what just happened?" Connery asked. "No. What just happened?" Lucio answered "Nothing. Nothing at all," Connery said and continued to save the diary. "A troubling development," Plague whispered. As Lucio was about to pursue the conversation further, he was interrupted by Complexity stumbling in the door. His clothes were ripped to shreds and pieces of pants dragged along the floor. "Complexity. Where have you been?" Lucio asked. "I don't remember. It's all cloudy," Complexity said woozily. "Really? Wow," Lucio replied. Connery and Plague glanced at each other communicating with only a look that this didn't surprise them in the least…Doesn't surprise me either. Who asked you? "So Complexity. Do you remember anything?" Connery questioned. "Some guy stuck this needle in my arm and then I'd sit there. After a little while I'd like start jumping around and hitting my head against the wall and these guys in white coats would watch. That's it," Complexity recounted. "Hmm…that meant they might have given you a drug to test its side effects," Plague theorized. "Side effects? I don't think…" Complexity started to say. As he was about to utter the word "so" he shook his head rapidly. "Ho! We're coming down to the last dance so all you pardn'ers out there find a lady and give her a swing. Okay here we go!" he shouted. He soon rocked his head from side to side. "So, I mean they said it was safe." He finished. Plague and Connery glanced at each other again. "Oh I see…" Complexity muttered and began shake his head, "…icy icy icy…," he said before shaking his head and reverting back to his normal self. "…the Tampa Bay Rays, they suck…heh heh," he finished. "It's good to see you back to your old self again Complexity," Plague said. "What is next Connery?" "We destroy the corporation from within," Connery proposed. "From within? That's so boring," Plague moaned. "Plague. You remember the last time we attacked a corporation outright? I'm not ruling it out, it may be necessary but…" "Okay, okay," Plague said. "Hey, that is kick'n!" Complexity said and jumped through the nearest window. "Complexity? Are you all right?" Lucio asked hurrying over to it. "You Swedish nutbar!" Complexity shouted from the lawn outside. "What? I'm no such thing asshole!" Lucio yelled back.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 112 "No, you're not," Complexity said and stood up. He walked through the broken window pane dusting glass pieces off himself. Connery and Plague glowered at him with one of their looks. "You look like you've just seen a guy jump through a window," Complexity said stoically. "Why haven't I destroyed them yet?" Plague wondered aloud. "They have their uses," Connery said. "Some day, I'd like to know people who have their uses but don't have any strings attached," Plague muttered. What are you on anyway? Ah, I see. You think you I'm doing drugs because the story is so incoherent. Yes, well, can you blame me? I don't need to blame you. What I'm going to do is take the laptop I'm writing this story with, close it up, and then beat you to death with it. You don't intimidate me. I used to get into fights in Liverpool all the time. English twit bastard! Oh, you want to go again then? Nope. What! "I have wronged you Lucio, let me buy you a fresh salad as compensation," Complexity was saying. "Sure ok," Lucio answered gratefully but with grave concern. The two set out in search of fine greens leaving the two villains behind. "I did not expect anyone to have infiltrated our operation," Connery admitted. "Are we sure Lucio is an operative, and not just stupid?" Plague questioned. "Not sure. We should assume he is working for someone though," Connery replied. "So I return to my question about destroying him?" "I think you're memory erasure beam and some more subtle suggestion might work better, besides, if something were to happen to him, whoever is behind this might send someone else," Connery suggested. "I agree with your assessment, but once we find out who is behind this…" Plague said. "Then the 'blood can flow' as you enjoy saying," Connery interjected. "I really do enjoy saying it," Plague conceded.

Room 316. Conrad offered French in addition to Spanish…oh boy…let's begin discussing the French…huhah. Nah. They're fine. What? Ahem…for some reason there was no organization to French classes at Conrad and students from various grades could find themselves in the same period. This created the bizarre combination of the four Hooligans, Zaee, Mysterious Zak, Seru, Tarusia, and Melody all being present.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 113 "BONJOUR Class!" Madame Horowitz called as she swept into the room. "She enjoys herself too much," Seru growled as she wrote on her notepaper. "If it's what you have, you might as well enjoy it," Melody reasoned. "It's too late for her, others can be saved," Tarusia added. "Today we will talk about the impact of French culture on Europe and along the way learn a few helpful phrases." Horowitz said. "Madame?" Daman asked raising his hand. "Yes Daman?" "I'm interested to find out what you define culture as?" "I'm sorry?" "Yes, like what do you define as the boundaries of culture are as compared to other paradigms?" "Oh…uh…well…" Horowitz stammered. "Just the other day me and the guys were wondering about this same question when we were watching Star Wars," Daman explained. "Ah La Guerres D'Etoile," Horowitz replied. "SACRILEGE!" Seth shouted. "Star Wars! Only Star Wars," Maka added. "Yeah you can't call it anything other than Star Wars," Daman admonished the teacher. "It's true," Goshin agreed "If it isn't a law it should be," Daman asserted. "But…all I said was Star Wars in French…" Horowitz explained at a loss. "Yes, but you added apostrophes and stuff," Maka said. "Thus even though you may be saying the equivalent thing, you're not, because Star Warsis much catchier than La Guerres D'Etoile." "Yes and a lot more marketable," Goshin mentioned. "It has nothing to do with marketing!" Seth cried. "It's the fundamental principle of the thing! The French version is a completely different universe, a French speaking universe, and therefore not Star Wars at all!" "Ooo valid point, I hadn't thought about that before," Daman said. "But it's true there is only one Star Wars." "I'm….uh…" Horowitz tried to answer, but eventually just sat down and stared out the window. "What just…happened?" Tarusia asked. "A calculated and planned attack on the psyche of a French teacher," Melody answered. "Those four don't plan anything, but I salute their mighty work," Seru stated and continued to write. Her two friends looked over her shoulder. "Um…" Melody began. "No…no never mind." "What?" Seru asked. "Won't they get really cold?" Tarusia asked. "I'll figure that out later," Seru answered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 114 Horowitz continued to stare out the window and began to sing "Frere Jacque". The students could hear yelling down the hall from the Latin class. "ROME! YOU IDIOTS!" Mister Nikler screamed. "I never understood why Nikler teaches Latin too…" Zaee admitted. "Budget cuts," Maka replied. "Though he is really versatile to be able to teach two subjects…especially after being killed earlier in the day." Zaee grinned. "Suppose you're right," she agreed.

Chemistry Lab. The rest of the school day passed without incident and Mister Rakjaw glared at Connery, Stiegg, Lucio, and Complexity. "Nice of you all to respond to my request to appear after school given you skipped our lab period today. What is your explanation!" "I was…away…" Stiegg admitted telling the truth as vaguely as possible. "I was having bowel problems. You know it was just a gravy train of…" Complexity began. "It's not necessary to continue!" Rakjaw cut him off. "I missed class because I was late to school," Lucio lied finding the explanation better than the real one. "And what about you Connery? Where were you?" Rakjaw asked. "I think you know," Connery answered staring at Rakjaw. The teacher recoiled. "Very well, finish the lab. I shall return in an hour," Rakjaw ordered and departed.

Hallway A. "Hurry come on!" Vic implored as he and Vaux scampered through the corridor holding a mannequin under their arms. McGowen slid into their path. "Hey you two! What are you doing with that?" he barked. "With what?" Vic and Vaux said shoving the mannequin behind them. McGowen walked up to them and took out his nightstick. "What do you think I'm talking about?" he asked hitting the mannequin. They dropped it. "He's onto us!" Vic shouted and bolted down the hall followed at high speed by Vaux. "Bastards!" McGowen screamed and gave chase. "We've gotta destroy the evidence," Vic exclaimed. The two raced into an alcove and pushed open a supply room door. "Quick! Torch it!" Vic commanded.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 115 Vaux grabbed a can of gasoline. The door swung open, and McGowen drew his revolver. "All right jackwipes! Now what the hell is going on!" he shouted and then realized what was in the storeroom. Mannequins were stacked in nearly every corner and the pile rose ten plastic bodies high. Other guards had since arrived and the security team dragged the two out and back down the hallway. "Remember my sacrifices, my fellow students!" Vaux screamed. "Never give up hope!" Vic added. The students that were around looked over with an apathetic glance. McGowen sighed. "Just what were you doing with all those mannequins?" McGowen asked. "We…uh…" Vic began. "We…" Vaux said. "Well?" McGowen snapped. "All right look," Vic began again. "We uh…don't know what we were doing with them, we found them in there, and we felt…hey there must be something we can do with seventy of them. So…that was it…we just didn't want anyone to know we had them." "Yeah…uh…we were just…uh…taking one for a walk and that, uh…well…you saw us," Vaux said. "So you don't know where they came from then?" McGowen asked. "We have no idea," Vic confirmed. "But you know…seventy mannequins show up with no explanation… fair game in my view." "Yeah, I mean…were we wrong?" Vaux pleaded. "I guess not," McGowen muttered. "Hold up." The guards all stopped. "Let them go, but seriously…I will whup you the next time," McGowen growled. "I will tie you to a rocket and launch you into space…fucking…space…" The two boys raced away as fast their human legs could carry them.

Serpent's Cavern. Melody looked up from the game manual and at her five friends who sat around the table. Many of their allies were surrounding them keeping an eye out for trouble from other parts of the store. Given the vast size of the establishment, the new arrivals had been able to carve out a section for their own, though the two sides were still sorting out how to work everything out logistically. Seru was leaning on one arm twirling a pen in her hand trying to hold back her annoyance that she was not in the DM's chair. Sebastian leaned back in his chair with a worry inducing grin. Prim and Nei each were nervously rolling dice in their fingers. Tarusia sat silent awaiting the next move. "You are all at the entrance to a cave," Melody announced. "A cave lovely," Seru muttered. "Seru, you know this is what we agreed to after the night when…" Melody began. "Don't say it, that's the deal…we will never speak of it!" Seru cut her off. "And we also agreed that you'd take a break from DM'ing for awhile," Melody reminded her gently.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 116 "It's just a cave. Come on, the Forest of Knives! Now that was a setting," Seru pleaded. "I like caves. I think this will be fine," Melody answered. "The Forest of Knives hurt…so…much," Prim remembered wincing slightly. Seru grinned with accomplishment. "Just what…er…happened? I missed that game," Nei inquired. "It was the night that…" Sebastian started to reply with a smile. "What did we just say!" Seru and Melody quickly shouted. "Ah well, tried to tell you, oh well," Sebastian responded. "An agreement is an agreement. Though truthfully it was quite ghastly." "No need to use adjectives," Seru grumbled. "Ok I'll drop it, so we're at a cave, we going in?" Nei asked. "I say we go back to town and get some shut eye," Prim suggested. "Good idea. The inn is having a live minstrel band tonight," Sebastian added. "Asses," Tarusia spat. "Let's go in." "You go in," Melody reported. The journey took them through multiple rooms in the cave with some small conflicts, until they arrived in new location. "You are now in a circular room. It is trimmed with crimson curtains and brass embellishments," Melody said. "Also there are three doors…." "FUCK!" the rest of the table exclaimed. "And behind the doors are three…" "Bears," the other five responded knowingly. "Bears," Melody confirmed. "There could be one bear behind each door, there could be three behind one door, and there could be a combination of two and one." "Fucking bears," Seru muttered. "I never led anyone into a room of doors and bears." Melody shot her a glance. "You know what! I'm opening door number 1!" Seru declared. "Wait what! We need to think this…" Tarusia exclaimed. "Seru opens door number 1 revealing a bear wearing chain mail," Melody announced. "DAMMIT!" the table exclaimed. "How is it wearing chain mail? Who puts the chain mail on it? Is that ever explained?" Seru asked. "It's not explained any better than your underwater bees," Melody answered relatively calmly. "They are magical bees…they don't require special clothing. This is totally different," Seru explained. "It could be a magical bear," Prim suggested. "Is it a magical bear?" Sebastian asked. "I uh…yes?" Melody responded caught slightly off guard. "How do the wings of the bees work underwater?" Nei asked. "Like are they magical breathing underwater

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 117 flying in a little air bubble bees or does the magic go further to their entire form of propulsion, and if so…" "It doesn't matter right now! We're fighting this fucking bear!" Tarusia interjected. "I attack the bear with my Sword of Shining Prisms," Seru said. "I'm getting a fire spell ready but not casting it," Tarusia said. "I'm opening door number 2," Sebastian said. "What?" everyone else asked. "Unpredictability keeps me alive!" he answered emphatically. "Sebastian opens door number 2 revealing a bear wearing chain mail and a hat," Melody said. "Dammit!" the table shouted. "I attack it with my ax," Sebastian said. "I'm just going to chill back here," Prim said. "Me too. We'll watch your backs," Nei agreed. The other three delivered a piercing collective stare in their direction. "Get your asses up here please," Tarusia said gently. "Fine fine…" Prim and Nei said. "Roll please," Melody said. Seru did so. "A two? A two! My sword's power is rivaled only by the weapon I actually carry and I roll a two!?" She ranted as her anger rose. "You miss the bear entirely, and it attacks. Roll for damage," Melody said. Seru scowled and tossed the dice. "18…fuck!" "The bear does 18 and knocks you unconscious," Melody reported. Nei, Prim, and Sebastian rolled. "Prim hits the first bear with an arrow in the face causing it to reel back and start stomping around wildly. Sebastian lands a glancing blow on the second. That bear is momentarily knocked backward. Nei's attack fails because of the first two results." "Fire spell on the second!" Tarusia quickly said and rolled. "The fire spell connects with the second and sets the bear with a hat aflame." "Should we roll to see if the two bears stumble into each other in a panic and fight?" Prim asked. Melody nodded. The roll was taken. "Yes, they do, they are now fighting each other even as the pain flows through them," she said. "Lets get through door number 1 right now," Sebastian suggested. "Why not two?" Tarusia asked. "1 feels luckier than 2. I don't know," Sebastian explained. Tarusia shrugged. "I'll carry Seru," Nei volunteered. "So ya know I accomplish something."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 118 "Damn bears. There are no bears in the Forest of Knives," Seru grumbled. "You walk into the next room which is filled with gold and treasure chests," Melody outlined. "Yay!" the table exclaimed. "Get me some gold will you?" Seru said. "But then I'd have to carry you and the gold," Prim responded. "Bastard!" Seru snapped and flung her pen. Prim caught it flung it upward and watched it spin nicely three or four times before dropping back down towards him. "Hah!" he shouted. He swatted it back at Seru who snatched it out of the air and pulled out a piece of paper to start scrawling on. "Let me know when I'm awake," she muttered. "Lets get us some gold," Tarusia said and the conscious characters did so. "What about the treasure chests?" Nei asked. "Go ahead open one," Sebastian urged. "This could be a trap though," Nei stated. "Go ahead open one," Sebastian repeated. "I'm taking half of whatever's inside," Nei said. "Deal," everyone else said. "Nei flings open a treasure chest to find a pile of gems," Melody announced. "NICE!" Nei said. "I take half of them." "We get the rest, oh well," Sebastian said. "I'll open the next. Same rules." "The chest is opened and more gems are discovered," Melody said. "YES!" Sebastian shouted. "I want chest three too!" "You open it to reveal a dragon," Melody said. "A…dragon…" the other five responded in shock. "Yes an enchanted two foot tall dragon which is now growing to be twelve feet high," Melody said. "You guys missing me yet?" Seru asked. "No, not after the night when…" Prim began. "No more!" Seru and Melody interrupted. "I attack the dragon urgently with my axe, aiming for it leg," Sebastian said. "I put Seru down and charge it along with Nei," Prim said. "Aiming for its other leg." "Along with who? Fight your own dragon," Nei asked. "Come on," Prim muttered. "Is this dragon fire breathing?" Sebastian asked. "You'll find out," Melody replied with a small smile.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 119 "I ready my shield to block any flame attacks," Nei said. "I ready my water spell," Tarusia added. "Roll," Melody said. Sebastian and Prim did. "Each of you connect with the dragon's legs, it rears up in pain injured but attacks with steam." "STEAM?" the five players asked incredulously. "Yep…steam…as hot as an inferno," Melody said. "It glides around Nei's shield and towards all three of you because it's steam. Roll for damage." The three grimaced and rolled. "UGH!" all three shouted as the numbers came up high. "Water spells won't work against fuckin' steam," Tarusia realized. "Correct," Melody said. "I ready a lightning spell," Tarusia quickly said. "I fire my bow at the dragon," Nei said. "After I flee backward yelling in tremendous pain." "Roll," Melody said. He did so. "You miss. The dragon notices you and begins to basically hop towards you on its slightly wounded legs," Melody said. "Seru awakens groggily." "I will do my special attack," Seru immediately said. "Roll…" She did. "Success, you spin forward, jump into the air, and spin again slicing off the dragon's neck. You back flip safely back to the ground as the dragon crashes lifeless onto a grave of shiny coins. The third bear arrives from the other room after successfully opening the door it was behind" "Really?" the other five muttered. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" came a titanic sound interrupting the exchange. The building shook as the sound wave flew past it. "Welp. Something just exploded," Sebastian noted. Most of the store emptied and the group could see in the distance, smoke was rising into the otherwise clear blue sky. "Give you three guesses as to what's on fire," Prim said. "A mine?" one of the Ogres responded. "The dungeon of El-Karil?" a Dwarf suggested. "No no my friends, he refers to the blatantly obvious plot contrivance regarding the titular building of this reality," Sebastian replied. The assembled gamers watched further as the smoke plume grew from the direction of the high school…

Conrad High School. What had been the Chemlab was enveloped in flames that were spreading along the science wing. Shrill alarms were sounding throughout the building accompanied by a preprogrammed computerized voice announcement: "FIRE ALARM…THIS IS A FIRE ALARM…LEAVE THE AREA…BECAUSE OF FIRE ALARM… THIS IS A FIRE ALARM…LEAVE THE AREA…BECAUSE OF FIRE ALARM…MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR GOD OR GODS YOU POLYTHEISTIC FOOLS…FIRE ALARM." Connery, Stiegg, Lucio, and Complexity picked themselves up from the hallway floor as the hallway burned behind them. "I suppose this won't be reflected well in our grades," Stiegg remarked. "I'm sure if we find an adequate scapegoat all will be well," Connery said with a smile. "Like me?" Stiegg asked worriedly. "Or…me…" Lucio muttered. "No no, I mean yes, usually either of you would be cannon fodder, no doubt…" Connery responded. "Fod that cannon," Complexity interjected. "…as I was trying to say though, I'm sure she can blame someone else, just give me some time, to figure out whom," Connery finished. A piece of ceiling crashed down nearby, and Vic and Vaux plummeted to the hallway floor landing atop the debris. "What the hell were you doing in the ceiling?!" Complexity yelled. "The skeleton was in there," Vaux answered. "Congratulations gentlemen, you win," Connery announced. "We win? What do we win?" Vaux asked hopefully. Several security guards had since rushed onto the floor. "What's the situation here!?" one of them demanded to know. "Vic…Vaux…Fire…Lab…" Connery, Stiegg, Lucio, and Complexity said with a unified voice. The guards grabbed fire extinguishers to battle the blaze, but one remained behind and looked over Vic and Vaux with a scowl. "So many parts of you are going to crack," he threatened. The two boys ran, but McGowen himself grabbed them both as he arrived on the scene. "Put them in the booth!" he commanded and the two were carried off as he moved to take charge of the fire. Sirens sounded in the distance as the Conrad Fire Department approached. The ActPrince pushed through an exterior door and surveyed the inferno from the grass nearby. Students who had lingered after school were fleeing the building.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 121 The Fire Department was actually quite competent in this awful town and the shiny red engines rolled up speedily. The fairly even mix of men and women emerged in their black and yellow bunker gear and all raised their fists. "Let's fight us a fire!" they shouted and started unfurling hoses. What a nice bunch of people…The fire was put out within a couple minutes. The ActPrince sighed thankful it hadn't been worse. Though now a good portion of the science section was a charred mess.

Conrad County Sheriff's Department. Sheriff Hill sat behind dozens of papers scattered in disarray on his desk. Gofer and Gunch sat opposite him. "Somethin's seriously wrong at that there high school, and I suspected that before part of it exploded," the Sheriff mused. "Yessiree," the two Deputies responded. "Security Chief asshat over at Conrad doesn't have any idea who mighta killed Cooper," Hill continued. "In my experience though it's either some luvuh, or some hater," Hill said. "According to them neighbors, dungholes all of em...Cooper didn't have any girlfriends, or boyfriends," Gunch reported. "Yeah, we talked to his so called friends, they didn't give a shit about him," Gofer said. "Friends are a good place to start. I wonder who his enemies are," Hill said. "Sounds like his friends are his enemies," Gofer said. The three laughed. "Ok look, you two go back to the mansion district and talk to all those shitheads again, tomorrow we'll go over to Conrad High and try to do some digging," Hill said. The two nodded and jumped up to leave. Hill sighed, pulled out his favorite romance novel…no not the Fabio one…and started to read.

Conrad High School Security Basement. McGowen descended into the Security Basement which was one of his many facilities inside the building. Numerous guards were standing around a large glass booth. Inside Vic and Vaux were being flung around by bursts of air. In additions to moving them from side to side it was flipping them over and knocking the pair into each other. "They talk yet?" McGowen asked. "They proclaim they are innocent," the nearest guard to him responded. "HEY!" McGowen shouted. "This is against the Geneva Convention!" Vic whined. "So is your ass!" McGowen barked back. "We were chasing the skeleton we didn't blow anything up!" Vic screamed. "He's right," came a familiar voice. The guards all spun to see none other than the Skeleton of the October Revolution sitting in a chair lit by a

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 122 large light bulb. "You!" McGowen exclaimed. With one gesture from him, the guards rushed the Skeleton and subdued it. "You've yet to build a prison that can hold me," the skeleton said. "Set him on fire," McGowen ordered. "Can we go?" Vic asked weakly. "Five more minutes then cut them loose," McGowen growled. The Skeleton meanwhile was doused with gasoline in seconds and lit aflame. "Good…good," McGowen said with glee. A cascade of foam sailed over their heads and put the Skeleton out. The guards spun yet again towards the source. A woman in a fire uniform stood on the stairwell, a giant fire extinguisher was in her hands. "Fire…is not to be trifled with," she stated. "Fire Marshal!" they all shouted. "No wonder your building is often catching on fire," she said and pointed. "Sorry…uh it's hard to explain," McGowen said. "Are you here to investigate the Chemlab fire?" "I am. Maybe afterwards we can discuss the matter further in your office," she said. "You mean pretend to and do sexual matters, right?" McGowen asked. "Generally the point of veiled statements is to avoid public revelation you goon," the Fire Marshal replied as most of the guards snickered. "It's ok, everyone knows when I do gonad things," McGowen replied. "I'm very proud." "I…uh…" the Fire Marshal responded in awkward surprise. "You're killing the mood…hopefully once my investigating is done you will have…regained it…somehow…" She hurried back up the stairs. The guards and Vic and Vaux all looked at McGowen silently in disgust for a few minutes. "Do you understand anything at all about romance?" the skeleton finally asked.

The Penguin Residence. Maka Penguin and Zaee sat at opposite sides of a kitchen table. Their Biology books were out and pieces of paper were spread across the surface. "Chapter 8 is a bit of a killer. It's so much stuff," Zaee complained. "The whole chapter on invertebrates… some of it just is hard to get." Penguin nodded solemnly. "I've been trying to ask Mister Scientz…but…" Zaee continued. "Class isn't really good for that…we um…make sure of that…" Penguin interjected. "Why do you let yourself run with The Hooligans? They're a massive distraction," Zaee finally asked. "They are fun, and I think you'll learn that class is the least important part of school," Maka responded. "Some of us are trying to learn," Zaee stated. "We don't need teachers to learn," Maka countered. "That's what you believe."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 123 "I'll tell you what. I'll teach you anything. You just name it and we'll study it. I'll prove it to you," Maka suggested. "You're on," Zaee said. "But you also shouldn't judge me on my choices, you're running with the evil villain squad," Maka added. "They're not that bad," Zaee replied. "How can you possibly…" Penguin moved to answer. "I have a feeling Plague and Connery will rule far more effectively than the current world leaders," Zaee explained. "I don't regret helping them." Maka's eyebrows furrowed. "We just distract classes…remember that…you're trying to take over the world," she said. "I'll try to mind my own business then. Sorry," Zaee answered. They sat in silence for a few minutes. "SO…invertebrates," Maka said. "Right right…" Zaee said.

Downtown Conrad. Stiegg sat across from Lucio at a sushi place contemplating whether to start with his ill chosen California Roll or just dive into the eight pieces of Toro sashimi he had chosen in a panic. Lucio looked at him quizzically. "You don't seem to understand the menu much you pillock though Toro isn't a bad choice," Lucio said and snatched up a piece of Yellowtail with his chopsticks. "I guess not," Stiegg said failing to scoop the Toro and shamefully reaching for his fork. "I wanted to thank you for helping me out with all the crime stuff. I really appreciate it." "You're welcome. Though it comes with a price," Lucio responded. "I thought I was helping you build a case," Stiegg said. "True, but there's more to it than that." "Oh." "Don't worry this is easy," Lucio responded and snatched up some Salmon. Stiegg swallowed some Toro quickly. "All I need you to do you duffer is tell me everything you are exposed to that might be suspicious. What Dave does. What Connery and Plague do. You know…" "You're making me your personal spy?" Stiegg asked in surprise. "You could call it that, yeah," Lucio said.

Serpent's Cavern. A battle scarred Mac Daddy One pulled into the parking lot. "Given that the two sides of the conflict can't really stand each other we've carved out times when only one side will use the store. They just finished up their time for awhile, now it's ours," Plague explained climbing out of the Lincoln. "I'm surprised you can come to such an agreement after going after their leader," Connery said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 124 "Strika Addendum nosing herself into it made the discussions…work out," Plague snapped. "Ah," Connery noted. The two headed inside. "Hail Plague!" the crowd all shouted. Plague acknowledged the shout with a nod and approached the head of the gaming table. The various warriors and magicians crowded around. "Where is the scribe?" Plague bellowed. "The scribe has been summoned!" one of the warriors shouted. "Bring forth the scribe!" another called. Out of another part of the complex came a procession of three foot tall elephants walking upright. Some had banners draped from their trunks. A pair of spear wielding three foot tall rhinos followed. Some dinky music played. "Dispense with the formalities!" Plague commanded. A fairly old man in a court uniform scurried out holding scrolls. "Yes Lord Plague?" he asked. "I seek the location of the fourth Stone of Rhigarr." "Yes Lord, the Stone of Tardor is a secret legend, in a secret place far beyond the..." "Do not waste my time with the usual mood setting riddles!" Plague barked. "Ahem...yes...Lord...I have a map," the scribe said pulling it out and laying it on the table. "This is of Chile," Plague realized. "Indeed. Chile, the mystic land of secrets and..." "Where in Chile is the stone?" Plague interrupted. "No one truly knows, some who have voyaged beyond the..." Plague glowered at him. "It's right there I think," the scribe said pointing at a patch of the Andes Mountains. "Excellent, see was that so hard?" Plague asked. He grabbed the map and vanished in a puff of Cesium "All right, now on to the second order of business," Connery stated as he climbed atop a chair. "Which of you men is up to a quest of sorts?" "What type of quest?" one of the warriors asked. "Yeah, what type of quest?" Jameson asked approaching. "That isn't particularly your style." "No it isn't. That is true," Connery conceded with a smile. "However in this case it's kind of an adventure. See gentlemen I am building a super weapon which will allow us power beyond belief!" "Wait is this the nuclear weapon?" Jameson questioned. "Not in the slightest. That is practically a toy. This is far bigger and far greater! The nuclear weapon's use… will become clear. But to build the superweapon I need the expertise of numerous world scientists. They are each experts in a specific component of the weapon. I must collect these scientists, and for that I need the help of strong stout men, or weak, but magically talented men!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 125 "Connery, wouldn't you be better off with ninjas or something?" Tamrisu inquired after taking her time getting to him. "Possibly," Connery replied. "But ninjas don't come cheap and have you ever had a conversation with a ninja? They never shut up, I mean really." "So you wish for us to help you do your dastardly deeds?" a mage asked. "You once again seek to use powers for evil that were meant for good," Grudolf the Grey complained. "Not true," Connery said. "Evil is Good." "Eh?" everyone in the room uttered in a chorus of skepticism. "Think about it. Does not the world face numerous problems? Does not Conrad have its own problems, and by gaining control of it we can correct those problems! We are righteous! Should not the righteous rule?" Connery argued. "Guess he has a point there mates," one of the warriors said. "Besides, is taking over this horrible town really considered evil?" one of the wizards asked. "Exactly! So who's with me?" Connery said. The room let out a "Huzzah." "We start tomorrow!" Connery cried.

Andes Mountains. Plague soon stepped into a cave close to the summit of a mountain. He provided his own light source with a ball of energy and came upon a pedestal carved out of the rock itself. He drew closer only to find the pedestal was empty. "You're too late you know," a familiar voice said. He turned to face Strika Addendum. "I don't have it either," She revealed. "You fiend," Plague said building his energy. "What would you want with such a stone?" "Aside from keeping you from having it, there is this," Strika said holding up a stone of her own. "The Stone of Magnus, of course you would have a stone yourself," Plague muttered. "Uh huh. Anyway, I'd be more concerned about who has the other stones," Strika said. "Now you not only have to worry about me, and Seru, but a fourth person apparently. Things are just not going your way." With that she vanished in a mist of Bromine. Plague spit on the ground and cursed the difficulties he was facing.

Conrad High School. Superintendent Radisson and a healed Mayor Crossgrave stared at the damage to the high school. Acting Principal Curtiss and McGowen stood nervously beside them, though Curtiss held a paper cup filled with some high quality cinnamon tea and that made her feel slightly better. "What was the cause?" Radisson asked. "Still being investigated by the Fire Marshal," McGowen said. "She's a character," Crossgrave said and began to hack uncontrollably. A leaf flew out of his mouth.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 126 "UGH…" he said. "That happen often?" Radisson asked him in shock. "No…what the fuck?" Crossgrave said. "How long will repairs take?" Radisson inquired. "Two days," McGowen responded. "WHAT?" The other three shouted. "We are really good at repairing damage. I know a guy," McGowen said. "Two…days…how is that…" Curtiss stammered. "This school is surprisingly easy to fix, you'll see," McGowen explained. "Have you found Rakjaw yet?" Curtiss queried. "Ever since the explosion he hasn't been seen. Maybe he thought we would blame him?" the Chief posited. "He'd be correct," the Acting Principal confirmed. "Isn't that him?" Radisson asked unsurely. Sure enough, Rakjaw himself was staggering up to the group. "Rakjaw! Where have you been?" Curtiss asked angrily. "We will…get to space again," Rakjaw announced and collapsed to the ground. McGowen dropped to his side and took a pulse. "He's DEAD!" the Chief realized. The ActPrince sighed. There was no horror, no fear, not even curiosity as to what had caused the death of the man. She just looked down at her tea and took a sip as she finally understood that this was how things were going to be. "Call people I guess," she said. Radisson and Crossgrave shared urgent horrified looks.

Math Building, Room 140. "OOOOOOOKLAHOMA!" a small chorus of students sang. "Guys do you mind?" Mr. E pleaded. "There's a bright golden haze on the meadow!" Daman sang. "More like a bright golden haze on your forehead," Chafer snickered. "There's a bright golden haze on my forehead!" Daman and Chafer yelled in unison. "That was funny," Maka Penguin observed. "Will you all be quiet?" Mr. E implored. "Hey, Mister E, do you think Mark Hamill will ever make a comeback?" Goshin asked. "There's no way, it's over," Daman responded instead. "He could still surprise you," Chafer said. "I think he's just positioning himself, it's just a matter of time," Goshin said. "Nope, you're deluding yourself. He's done," Daman asserted. "Actually..." Chafer began. "Enough of this, let's get back to this so called method of doing the equation," Maka Penguin interrupted. "Good idea," Mr. E agreed and turned toward the board. Daman hopped up and approached. Mr. E whirled towards him. "You're really using the wrong chalk for this," Daman said. "I think I know what chalk I should be using," Mr. Eyena responded. "Just thought I'd mention it," Daman replied and returned to his seat. "Yeah putting the chalk aside though...look at that equation. Are you trying to trick us or something?" Maka Penguin asked sarcastically. "I don't see how this is working." "No...look. I'm just saying..." Mr. E tried to explain. "I'm the Lord of the Dance!" Daman shouted. "Do it Daman!" Chafer urged. Daman jumped up on his desk and began to bang his shoes against the hard surface. "Anyone got any alcohol?" Mr. E grumbled. Most of the class raised their hands. "Thought so," he said. "Someone give me some." "Now don't try to duck the issue," Maka Penguin snapped. "Let me explain it again," Mr. E said. "Mr. E, I really think there are bigger issues than this," Alan declared.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 128 "Alan, you have something to add?" Mr. E asked and twitched. "I have a theory about this whole line of thought," Alan responded. "Oh do you?" Rhodes interjected. "Maybe it will lead us into all sorts of dimensional conundrums that even your intellect is incapable of pulling us out of...I wonder if it's like his bout with polynomials," he said snidely. "Now that was a trip." "Hey, small fry, don't knock it, I knew what I was talking about." Alan said. "Yeah, well we both know who the real math champion is here," Rocky boasted. "I think you know better than to challenge me," Alan snorted. The two stared at each other angrily. "Listen shorty, I haven't seen you coming up with any theorems or corollaries lately?" Alan snapped. "I really think the blood just doesn't go high enough to reach your brain...but look, you can't just come up with a corollary with a snap of the finger like you seem to believe," Rocky said. "It takes effort." "Sure it does, and it takes thought processes that you are incapable of!" "Hah, I think you'll find yourself looking at me from the Salutorian's seat at graduation!" "Hardly! Eat my Valedictorian dust!" "Guys...uh..." Mr. E began. Rocky vaulted upon his desk and leapt off attempting a twisting punch. Alan caught the arm in midflight and with a mighty heave flung his diminutive opponent out an open window. "HAH!" Alan cried. "NICE!" the four Hooligans exclaimed. "Not today!" Rocky screamed lunging back into the room and leveling Alan this time with his flying punch. The two grappled, bashing into desks and knocking books and papers askew until they both tumbled out the open window again. "Now this is just missing the point entirely," Maka Penguin challenged between screams outside. "We're talking about too many steps here. We can cut that equation down with simple use of formulas." Mr. E sighed. "Try this," Daman said wandering up again. "It's textured chalk. It'll do the trick." "I don't want your stinking chalk," Mr. E snarled. "Fine, be part of the problem," Daman answered. The bell rung. "Thank God," Mr. E exclaimed. The group filed out, meshing with the other classes including the one Dave had emerged from. "Oh hey Dave!" Daman said hurriedly catching up to him as Chafer followed. "Something I can do for you?" Dave inquired. "Yeah, yeah. We need some Student Council money," Daman revealed. "What for?" the President asked. "So we can acquire the Batmobile," Chafer explained.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 129 "We don't have any discretionary funds for Batmobiles," Dave said. "Ah come on! This is what it's all about," Daman replied. "We can be the only school in the country to have the Batmobile," Chafer pointed out. "And that is what the world wants…my world and everyone else's," Daman said. "And if Damanworld wants it...well there you go," Chafer agreed. "I'll think it over," Dave conceded. "Na na na na...Batmobile!" Daman and Chafer shouted. "Hey! Dave!" Vaux greeted as he and Vic appeared next to him. "Oh...gee...Hi..." Dave said. "Hey Seth, hey Daman, you have a fun class don't you?" Vaux asked. "Norrrrrth DAKOTA!" Vic and Vaux sang "No no. That's...oh...never mind," Chafer muttered. "Guys, you got the wrong idea," Daman said. "It's not about North Dakota! It's never about North Dakota. It's about...worlds...and people in them." "Like Damanworld!" Chafer agreed. "Oh sorry," Vaux said. "But North Dakota is a wonderful state, it deserves its own song too…its own musical even. It could be about the inhabitants of North Dakota and the trouble they go through." "You're not wrong," Daman admitted. "I see where you're going with this. It could be the greatest thing ever, and while I normally don't associate with your kind I can see it..." "We're not that different you know," Vaux said. "Oh yes we are," Daman disagreed. "But we can agree on one thing, possibly the only thing we ever shall agree on, no definitely...the only thing ever...North Dakota needs a musical." "With spark plugs," Vaux suggested. "What?" Daman asked incredulously. "You ruined it!" With that Daman angrily pushed them away and stormed to the building's exit. "You tell 'em!" Chafer said following. "Way to show them your back!" "I should be used to it," Vaux said. "Can't we all be friends?" "Not when you suggest integrating spark plugs into a musical about North Dakota! Even I see how stupid that is!" Vic shouted. Dave sighed as he felt sick from having watched the discussion. The group of students entered the Math Tunnel…oh this again. "PREPARE FOR TUNNEL ACTION," a computerized voice boomed through the weak metal structure. The students readied themselves. A slight wind began to blow the group was all lifted off their feet. They were blasted down the tunnel sliding through a pair of open doors and skidding to the floor in front of the office… You've got to be kidding. It's mass transit, that's what it is. Ehh...

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 130 Chief Executive's Office. Curtiss leaned against her desk slowly stirring some honey into some disappointing chai tea. "I'll never get used to the sound of all those students hitting the floor each time they travel through that accursed tunnel," she uttered. "No one ever does," McGowen responded propping himself up against the window. "Brief me on the Chemlab explosion please," the Acting Principal requested. "Uh...it was just an accident apparently. At first we believed it was a Vic-a-Vaux," McGowen reported. "A what?" Curtiss asked as her eyes narrowed in focused confusion. "A Vic-a-Vaux is what we call any incident involving Vic and Vaux. We thought they were involved. It was a red herring." "The fact you need to have a code for those two is troubling." "They're fucks, but the school is filled with fucks," McGowen relayed. "But yes the Chemlab was an accident. Nothing to be done about it. Students apparently had an experiment go haywire. The Fire Marshal says it's just one of those things." "Unfortunate. How are repairs going?" the Acting Principal asked. "Splendidly, we should have the wing up and running on schedule," McGowen responded. "I still don't know how that is possible." "You're new. We have some experience with explosions," McGowen explained. "And Rakjaw?" "The Sheriff is investigating but we believe he drank from the wrong beaker again…but this time it cost him…everything," McGowen said dramatically. "Speakin' of the Sheriff," Sheriff Hill said entering. "You did your own introduction transition?" Curtiss asked in surprise. "I reckon I did," Hill responded continuing his inconsistent accent. Not sure why I'm acknowledging that. You must hate yourself so much. "Why are you here?" McGowen asked. "We are continuing the investigation. We got ourselves some leads and wanted to talk to the following students," Hill said producing a list. "Oh fine, we'll set you up in the career center. No one ever uses it," McGowen said. "I wouldn't mind getting you out of here as fast as possible." "Much obliged bunghole," Sheriff Hill replied.

Career Center. Conrad High's career center was a small room near the cafeteria crammed with books on how to get into college or get a job. In the corner sat a large suit of armor for no apparent reason. Hill sat himself down at the end of a vintage 1954 era table and waited. He had plenty of time to study the cracks in the faded wood, as well as the numerous angry messages carved into it. A pair of security guards appeared in the doorway and behind them followed Connery. He entered with a smirk and took a seat opposite the Sheriff.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 131 "You again ey…Connery Scotz?" Hill asked. "Sheriff, a pleasure to see you again. Thank you for attending this interrogation. I have many questions," Connery said. "Smartass," Hill spat. "You'll get some serious time someday!" "Calculated risk," Connery said. "Witnesses say ya cursed out Clay Cooper's existence after he cut ya off in that 'dere parking lot," Hill said. "That's hardly motive!" Connery snapped. "He pissed off the entire school that day. Dave just didn't recount the whole thing because he's a lazy pathetic slackass." This is a solid defense. I'll allow it. "Where were you the night Cooper was killed?" Hill pressed. "At home doing homework for once. I have multiple witnesses including my family and their friends the Crustaceans." "The what?" "That's actually their last name I swear," Connery said. "We'll check it. Get out." Connery exited. "Next!" "Complexity jumped through the back window sending shards of glass all over the room. Hill narrowly avoided the debris. "You are awful!" the Sheriff snapped. Complexity took a seat as he wiped himself off. "Where were you the night Cooper was killed?" Hill asked. Complexity didn't answer. "You hear me son?" Complexity stared him down. "You gunna be hostile?" "No…" Complexity answered calmly. "I'm not going to be hostile. Liberty is about freedom. The freedom to exist and go about our lives without fear that the mighty hand of government will swing down like a hammer on an anvil." "You're makin' speeches?" the Sheriff asked. Complexity pulled out a hammer from his pocket and slammed it on the table. Hill bolted out of the chair. "I'm done making speeches!" Complexity shouted. He slid the hammer to Hill. "There's your hammer…you going to use it? Or are you going to find a better way!" Complexity snapped. "What the fuck is goin' on?" Hill asked. "What side are you on?" Complexity asked. "Ask yourself that."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 132 "Get out," Hill growled. Complexity stood, brushed some more small bits of window off of his shirt, and exited. "Who is next?" the Sheriff asked out the door as he sat back down. Vic and Vaux entered. "Are ya ever apart?" Hill asked. "Don't know, that's a good question," Vic muttered. "I like to party," Vaux said. "Asses," Hill said. "Where were you the night Clay Cooper was killed?" "Dead I think," Vaux replied. "Yeah. Pretty sure we were dead," Vic agreed. Hill rose from the table and walked over to where they sat. "What…are…you…sayin'…?" he hissed. "Plague kills us and revives us at will. It's kinda fun," Vaux explained. "It is not," Vic disagreed. "You can't just kill and revive people!" Hill shouted. "Technically you're half right," Vaux countered. "You're bullshitting me! Don't have a better alibi do ya?" Hill accused. "No no seriously we couldn't kill anyone!" Vic desperately exclaimed. "Now that I reckon I believe," Hill responded. "Go." The two fled the room. Hill turned towards his chair to see Plague sitting in it. "How the hell did you…" the Sheriff began. "Hell WISHES it had my majestically dark powers!" Plague boomed. "You wished to question me? Do so…or depart." "FUCK THIS. If they find DNA on that there body, I'll do somethin'. Not before!" Hill screamed and exited. Plague grinned, picked up a copy of the latest "Guide to Taking the SAT" and incinerated it with his middle finger.

Realm of Comics. "I'm glad you could come on such short notice," Sebastian began looking over the various Orkes, Ogres, Goblins, and various dark magic users standing around him in the small store as he sat atop a counter. "I am here to ask for your help because basically you're the only people I know who would be willing to do it." "What you want from us?" one of the Goblins snarled. "I wish to protect several world scientists. But unfortunately, they are unwilling to have my protection. So we must protect them...the hard way," Sebastian responded. "Exxxxplaaainnn," One of the sorcerers hissed. "Basically I intend to collect these scientists and shield them from the evil forces that are trying to get to them," Sebastian said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 133 "Do you mean us?" one of the Goblins asked. "No no, you are all evil, but that is largely due to persecution. It is due to nurture not nature. You weren't born evil," Sebastian said. "I was," Sissiphor admitted. "Yes, you are the exception, but the point basically comes down to this. My sources..." "That's us," Prim and Nei interjected from beside him. "My sources tell me that my rival genius and soon to be arch nemesis..." Sebastian continued. "Arch nemesis if he ever realizes you exist," Prim interrupted. Sebastian let a furious gaze fall upon Prim. "My soon to be arch nemesis Connery is trying to build a super weapon, but if we acquire the scientists first we can keep them from him, and thus protect the world. However, far more importantly than such noble goals is the goal of protecting ourselves, because if Connery had such a weapon no doubt he could use it against us!" Sebastian outlined. "This is for our own defense. Normally I would not gather a group of world scientists but these are drastic times! And besides, since we'll have the scientists we might as well have them whip us up some goodies while they're here right?" The group growled in agreement. "Defensive goodies?" Prim asked sarcastically. "Any form of weapon can be defensive. We have to fight fire with fire! Or fight fire with an equivalent to fire…like a summoning spell to bring forth an ice giant, or an acid botulism cannon, or wave after wave of floating swords!" Sebastian cried. "Now let's get to it!" "Right!" the group all shouted. "You sure we should be skipping class for this?" Nei queried. "The time for common sense has passed!" Prim shouted sarcastically. "YEAH!" the group all called in agreement. "To the Sebastianmobile!" Sebastian ordered. "Sebastian...it's a green Ford, how many people you think we can fit in there?" Prim asked continuing to be somewhat of the voice of reason. "We'll just turn it into an interdimensional device which looks smaller on the outside than it is on the inside," Sebastian answered. "How?" Prim asked. "I've been working on a little concoction just for that!" Sebastian said pulling a test tube out of his pocket. Inside was a blueish green liquid. He tossed it at the Sebastianmobile only to have the car explode and shower debris all over the street. "I didn't even have time to suggest that was going to happen," Prim moaned. "Enough conjecture! To the bus stop!" Sebastian shouted and the small army sprinted up the street.

Command Center. Dave passed through a doorway to find Connery and Mysterious Zak staring at several readouts. A giant world map glowed on the main viewing screen.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 134 "Ah, Dave I have something to show you," Connery said and nodded at Zak. Zak pressed a few buttons. Several blinking dots appeared over the world. "These dots represent where I have sent some messengers to warn several prominent scientists about..." "Connery I am well aware you sent most of Serpent's Cavern out to kidnap them so you can use them to build your super weapon," Dave interjected. "Bully for you…" Connery muttered. "At every point on this map, my forces have run into trouble from Orkes, Goblins, and various dark magicians. Namely everyone allied with the Seru Faction." "Ok...so what exactly am I supposed to do about it?" Dave asked. "You're supposed to explain it. Why did you write these rivals into the plot? I already have enough enemies as it is!" Connery yelled. "Do you think anyone would want to read a story about evil villains conquering the world unhindered?" Dave responded. "Do you think anyone would want to read a story you wrote under any circumstances?" Connery challenged. "By all accounts from the website statistics, NO, but too bad!" Dave muttered and dropped into a chair next to Edgea. "For what it's worth," she whispered. "I agree with you. Where's the fun in just winning all the time? Besides watching Plague pull a nutty over Seru kicking his ass was worth it even if we all die in the end." "Well thank you Edgea," Dave responded. "Don't let it go to your head though, there's a typo in Chapter 9," she said. "Where?" "That's not how the game is played my friend," Edgea responded with a giant smile. "Woahhh, what's going on?" Zaee asked in shock coming from one of the center's many hallways before starting to look over her own console. "How did all these people get all over the world?" "Our forces used a bunch of portals from Serpent's Cavern and some magical teleportation," Edgea informed her. "Their forces on the other hand apparently also used some of their dark magicians, but we're a bit baffled by that, as we didn't think they had that many," Zak said. "We detected a large contingent of them moving by bus earlier, and we still don't understand what happened." "Zak!" Connery shouted. "Yes Connery," Zak answered weakly. "As much as I hate to do it. Call Complexity, Lucio, Vic, and Vaux. And find Nhightman." "Nhightman is hard to find these days," Zak responded. "I've noticed that too," Connery said. "Find him anyway. Zaee? Edgea, you in?" "I have a test tomorrow…" Zaee answered. "And I have to cover for her here since Zak has that thing tonight," Edgea added. "Very well," Connery muttered. "If you're going to be sending people to all over the world, my plane might be useful," Dave suggested. Your…plane?

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 135 "True enough," Connery agreed. "Zak. Notify the hangar at Bradley Airport to have Conrad Force One made ready. "Aye aye," Zak said. "Should we call in Conradine One?" Edgea asked. "It'll speed things up," Connery admitted. What is Conradine One? You'll see.

A Different Setting. Soon the group had been assembled and Connery, Vic, Vaux, Complexity, Lucio, Nhightman, and Dave hurried down the hallway and outside past the parking lot and towards the athletic fields. "Our forces are experiencing heavy resistance everywhere. Jameson and Tamrisu already are in combat," Connery explained. "Tamrisu? Why would she bother?" Nhightman questioned. "I was surprised to, but apparently she felt like some exercise," Connery responded. "Here it comes," Dave reported. Over the roof of the school came the hunter green helicopter with white trim on top. The seal of Conrad's Student Council was embedded on the side and "Conrad High School" was written in nice font in white along the side…This is pathetic. Conradine One came in low and landed delicately on the field right on the giant "C" painted on the field. The door to the chopper opened and stairs extended. "Who pays for this shit?" Nhightman asked as they boarded. "The Byzantine Sons set up a special fund dedicated to Student Council expenses. It's a fixed fund which means the money cannot be used for anything else legally, so I can't divert it. Idiots never thought we might regain control of the council. So now it's all ours," Dave responded. They boarded and settled into leather seats. The two pilots emerged from the cockpit. They both wore flight suits with the call sign "Buzzinator" stitched onto them. Though they were of different genders so it made identification easier. "Welcome aboard Gentlemen," the male Buzzinator said. "I'm told this is urgent so we're going to fly like the wind. Be ready." "He just says that when he means it," the female Buzzinator added with a smile. The two returned to their seats and the engines roared as the helicopter rose from the field.

Bradley International Airport. Nestled in the northern part of Connecticut was New England's second busiest airport…where if you wanted to get to Cincinnati you could…oh yes you could. Anyway a few minutes after departing CHS, Conradine One landed quickly on the tarmac and the group inside disembarked towards the awaiting plane. A glimmering 747 stood in the sunlight. It was white with red paint trailing down the fuselage. Above the trim "Conrad High School" was written in black…So ya know it's JUST FUCKING AIR FORCE ONE…WE GET IT. The boys hurried up some stairs and inside the plane. A pilot stuck his head out of the cockpit in full uniform. "Good evening sirs. We couldn't assemble the rest of the crew so urgently, but we're ready for take off all the same," he said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 136 "Thank you Colonel. Take off when ready," Dave said. The pilot nodded and returned to cockpit quickly. "This is fucking ridiculous," Nhightman admitted as they settled into the plush seats of the cabin. Within a minute the plane was taxiing to the runway, and seconds later began to roll. "Hope this goes better than when Plague tried to take off," Complexity growled. "Where is he anyway?" Lucio wondered. "I think he ran out of time in this dimension for awhile," Connery responded. "Sucks…he'll miss all his favorite shows," Complexity surmised.

Realm of Comics. "What happened here?" Seru said as she, Melody, and Tarusia stared at the debris of Sebastian's Ford. "His car is in pieces, but that's not entirely unusual," Tarusia remarked. "Was there an attack?" Melody asked. "It sure looks like they were attacked, but why not call for help if they were in trouble?" Seru wondered. "No one is around either," Melody noted. "I don't like this one bit." "They haven't been answering when we call them on these stupid communicators Sebastian gave us," Tarusia muttered holding up a small device that resembled a calculator. "They usually work though," Melody noted. "If they don't work when we need them to, they're just stupid," Tarusia argued. "This is probably just another one of Sebastian's crazy schemes," she guessed. "Probably and if so…" Seru began. The three's thoughts were interrupted by the 747 streaking overhead. "Conrad Force One," Melody observed. "Where's are those fuckgoblins going?" Tarusia asked not at all politely. "We should follow it," Seru said pulling a small box from her pocket. She tossed the container skyward and out popped a large wooden ship which expanded to the length of sixty feet. Propellers jutted from its deck and stern and it floated to the ground in front of them. It was a fully functional flying airship capable of traveling at several hundred miles per hour…Ok… "You've been carrying an airship around in your pocket? Wow!" Tarusia exclaimed. "Why couldn't we have taken that instead of Amtrak that one time?" Melody asked. "Can we just go!" Seru implored and the three dashed for the flying machine.

Conrad Force One, Conference Room. The motley crew of students gathered around a conference table…This is bullshit. This is what you're having a problem with? Not the magic using, not the fact there are Ogres running around, not the fact the school is exploding, but no that there's a plane. That's where you draw the line? You make no sense sir! Uhm…oh…well…when you say it like that…

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 137 "All right, so you understand your mission?" Connery asked all of them. "Vaux, I urge you, even if this mission goes well and you're not captured, to take the suicide pill anyway." "I understand," Vaux said and saluted. "As for the rest of you..." The PA system interrupted them. "Sorry to interrupt sirs," came the pilot's voice. "But we're being followed." Connery hit the reply button embedded on the table. "By what?" he asked. "An airship sir," the pilot said. "All right, thank you," Connery said. "Who could be following us in an airship?" Lucio wondered. "It matters not. Prepare to launch countermeasures!" Connery said. Complexity and Nhightman hurried to a closet. The pair pulled out some Christmas lights and draped Vaux with them. "Christmas? Already?" Vaux asked with confusion. "Ho ho ho," Nhightman said in reply. The group moved to the back of the plane, which was equipped with a large cargo area and a tail capable of swinging open. They methodically opened the tail doors as Connery looked at a computer readout. Below they could make out the airship tailing them from a few thousand feet below. "Wait…wait…" Connery said tensely studying the screen. "I wanna fly, I wanna fly, I wanna be a flying guy," Vaux sang. "Now!" Connery finally ordered. The group tossed Vaux out the exit. He was buttressed and tossed by wind as he dropped. The teen gained speed as Seru's airship drew closer. "Seru!" Tarusia shouted looking upward in shock. The black mage had little time to act and tried to fire off some purple bolts, but the urgency of her attempt caused her to miss. Melody did send a few halos of yellowness skyward, and they hit Vaux dead on. Problem was it did not stop his descent and instead only caused him great pain. Seru let go of the wheel of the airship, drew her sword, and fired off a beam, but her aim was off. Vaux smashed into the deck, crashed through several floors, and exploded. The airship listed to one side and started to sink. "Fuck!" the three exclaimed.

Conrad Force One. "When did you have time to put explosives on Vaux?" Lucio asked watching the result from the back of the plane. "Oh I didn't," Connery answered. "This was left over from a previous experiment. It was just a matter of time until Vaux hit wood at that speed. That completed the chemical reaction." "Excellent plan," Complexity remarked. "Indeed," Connery said. "Let's get back on course."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 138 "I'll get the door," Nhightman offered. "Of course," Dave said giving Nhightman a curious look. The rest of the guys left the cargo area. Nhightman waited a bit and watched before thumbing the button to close the back door. He then hurried into the main area of the plane. The doors to the 747 began to close but not before the trio of former airship passengers flew in atop energy birds unnoticed.

Conference Room. A few hours had passed and Connery stood in front of the assembled group again. "Nearly all the battles have been decided. We lost some, we won some, but the conflict rages on in London, where we attempted to snatch a Mi6 scientist," he reported gesturing to a map. "Is it wise to mess with Mi6?" Lucio asked. "I know a little something about Mi6," Connery responded with a grin. "We will be fine, unless of course we lose this battle. Now...Complexity and Lucio you will leap out of the plane in two minutes. Check the read outs for the exact coordinates. Remember to grab parachutes." "We got it," Complexity replied. "Yeah we'll get him," Lucio added. "Nhightman I need you to hit here in nine minutes," Connery said pointing at the map. "Affirmative," Nhightman replied and exited. "Dave I am jumping out in seven minutes. You remain with the plane and wait for our signal," Connery ordered. "I like this not doing anything plan," Dave answered. Connery turned to Vic. "You are inadequate on your own," Connery said bluntly. "I will have to go with you, which annoys me, but it is necessary." "I won't let you down," Vic promised. "Of course you will," Connery said. "Follow me."

Corridor. Nhightman was most indelicately grabbed and dragged into a side room as he walked by. "Yo," he said greeting the three stowaway girls. "What's going on here?" Seru asked. "Basically, Connery is trying to get some scientists together by kidnapping them, but apparently Sebastian and the Goblins and such are trying to keep that from happening," Nhightman explained. "This is starting to make some sense," Seru realized. Melody and Tarusia shot her glances. "Relative…sense," She added. "So this plane is headed to the fight?" "Yes I'm supposed to help them out, but you know I really don't want to take sides in this particular battle. I mean I want to finish the weapon too, but not if it means fighting fellow gamers even if they include Orkes and sorcerers from Hell," Nhightman replied.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 139 "I understand. Can you get away at all?" Seru asked. "Not without arousing suspicion," Nhightman said. "Then you have to fight for Connery's side for now. If Connery suspected you were feeding us information he'd cut you off. He'll suspect if you don't fight." "I guess you're right," Nhightman agreed. "What are you three going to do?" The three looked at each other unsurely. "Let's blow up the plane," Tarusia suggested. "No...bad idea," Seru responded. "You could just follow Connery and Vic down to the battle they're about to fight and interfere with it," Nhightman said. "That's a better idea," Seru concluded. "A much better idea," Melody added. "Sure, sure, sure, when someone else wants to blow things up its ok, but not when Tarusia suggests it…I know how it is," Tarusia complained "You don't have much time," Nhightman pointed out. "We never do," Tarusia remarked. "I have to go, I'll be missed," Nhightman said and hurried out into the hallway. Connery and Vic followed just a few moments behind him. The three girls watched through a crack in the door. Soon Connery and Vic were parachuting towards the Earth. "Looks like they're on their way!" Nhightman shouted awkwardly. Seru and her friends hurried into the cargo area. Tarusia quickly but carefully drew three glimmering birds with her magic. They climbed aboard and glided out of the bay. Nhightman watched and then turned to find Dave standing in the doorway. "You're playing both sides laddie!" Dave exclaimed.

Where the Last Chapter Ended. Nhightman hesitated as the Student Council President looked him over, but that condition lasted only seconds as the boy lunged forward swinging a fist. "That is unnecessary," Dave said sliding out of the way of the punch. "Why?" Nhightman questioned skidding to a halt. "Given my limited abilities to hurt or otherwise threaten anyone, you have little to fear," Dave explained. "I know you've been feeding them info. I know you met with them, I know it all…but, your little secret is safe with me for now, until it gets too annoying." "Why?" Nhightman asked. "I didn't plan for this plot angle, but it can't hurt. People love divided loyalties. I'll try anything at this point. My readership is an exclusive group you might say," Dave said. "I suppose I should accept…or kill you," Nhightman replied. "Hardly worth the effort," Dave muttered. "I guess. But tell me one thing? Did you know all this only because you wrote the book?" Nhightman asked. "Actually, no. You're just a sloppy spy. Oh sure Plague and Connery don't know, but I've got a lot more time on my hands to think about silly things like your alignment." "How embarrassing," Nhightman moaned and noted the computer screen. "There's none of our troops down here…why is Connery sending me?" "Ah it looks like there were troops of ours, but they were all eliminated," Dave observed. "Perhaps you'd better hang out up here instead…besides, then you can avoid fighting the others…this time." Nhightman thought about it. "I guess I can always drop back in if they get in to too much trouble," he reasoned. "Wanna play Nintendo?" Dave asked. "This plane has Nintendo?" Nhightman replied. "Yep, it also has TurboGrafx-16, but who the fuck cares?" The two departed the cargo area.

London. The setting was my hometown of London, England. I would love to describe to you the scenic locations based on the knowledge I have from living there for decades. However, Dave, not knowing a thing about London other than that is where the Queen is, has been unable to tell me where this scene is occurring. So you're basically on your own. I'm sure that if you were capable of viewing this scene, Big Ben would be off in the distance somewhere...Dave is an idiot. Hey I don't get on your case for never having been to Connecticut before!

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 141 You're still an idiot. You could have pulled out a book or something to learn more about England before writing this book. I lost my library card. The internet then. I have slow internet and it uses up the phone line. You are such a wanker! "Hurry Vic! We've got no time to lose!" Connery urged as they hustled down a cobblestone alley past a chemist and a tobacconist. "I'm hurrying," Vic shouted. "I'm not used to being useful to anyone." "If it helps…you still aren't!" Connery snapped. A horde of men at arms and a grey clad wizard hurried past followed by Jameson and Tamrisu. The group all whirled to stand against a large group of Ogres marching up the street with Nei at the head of them. Connery and Vic dashed out of the alley and joined the Serpent's Cavern detachment. "Believe it or not, this is the least of our problems," Jameson said. "There's this barrister giving us a lot of trouble." "A what?" Connery asked. "DUCK!" someone shouted. The whole group dived to the street as a sparkling white beam, a barrage of yellow circles, and a salvo of purple bolts smashed through the air and impacted the ground just behind them blasting stones and small black taxis upward. Seru, Melody, and Tarusia glided towards them still atop their phoenixes. "That's all we need!" Tamrisu screamed in frustration. "Emotion out of Tamrisu? This is bad!" Jameson cried. The trio of girls leapt off the birds and joined Nei at the front of the line of Ogres. "You hanging in there Nei?" Seru asked. "Oh sure, things are going slightly better than average," Nei replied. "The jackasses were reinforcing them so it's good we got here," Tarusia observed. "How big is this battle?" Melody asked. "There was fighting all over the city but things are changing," Nei answered. "Great! The odds are fairly even now! I hate those types of battles," Connery complained across the street. "But Connery, this isn't just about us, there's this crazy barrister and he's…" Tamrisu began. "How can that matter more than them?" Connery said pulling out a highly sophisticated ray gun. The weapon consisted of a translucent tube and glowing rods of light pulsated within the barrel. Connery thumbed a button on its side and lasers crackled across the tube as the weapon let out a little snide cackle. "Hah hah it's battle time!" Complexity yelled as he and Lucio dropped to the ground. "Where'd you two come from?" Vic asked. "Over there," Complexity responded pointing causing Vic look. "Hehe made you look," Complexity said. "All right, now we have an advantage!" Connery exclaimed gleefully.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 142 Prim and Sebastian raced around a corner nearly tripping over each other as they did. "Hah! They've fallen right into our trap," Sebastian stated. "That's interesting spin to put on it," Prim added. "Where were you guys?" Nei asked. "By Big Ben," Prim answered. Goddamit, the city is 607 square miles! And yet no room for you…wawn…wawn... "The whole battle seems to have collapsed into this one neighborhood," Sebastian observed. "DO YOU CARE TO SURRENDER NOW! Mercy…is still available!" Connery shouted. "How about you surrender instead asshats!" Tarusia yelled back. "The negotiations seem to have hit a snag," Prim observed. "Do you really think we fear you…you…you…Seru Senshi!" Tamrisu spat. The six friends looked at each other. "Not a bad name," Melody noted. "It's meant to be an insult!" Tamrisu shouted. "Too bad!" Seru responded slashing the always present London fog aside with her wand sword for effect. "Would have preferred Sebastian Senshi…" Sebastian muttered. "Too fucking late," Seru said. "You take care of your classmates, we shall deal with the Ogres," Grudolf the Grey said to Tamrisu. "Right lads!" "Aye!" the warriors shouted and charged at the army of dark creatures. The Ogres picked up on the challenge and moved to meet them. The melee soon spilled all over the adjoining streets knocking over milk trucks and police constables...My god, Dave you are terrible. In a brief time the street cleared of all but the main characters because our esteemed author loves his formulaic tropes. Yo. Seru looked over the six opponents. "Hmm…Melody you'd probably better take on Tamrisu, Nei deal with Complexity, Sebastian, obviously Connery, Prim…er…that other guy I guess…" "Lucio Dragoon," Prim responded. "A minor footnote in the history of the new world." "Wha?" Seru responded. "Some guy, I got him," Prim responded. "Tarusia, take care of the Vic, try not to kill him then after that five second task is over help Melody out," Seru suggested. "We don't care about the honor of one on one combat?" Sebastian asked. "I don't think honor will ever figure into interactions with them," Seru quickly replied. "Also worthy of consideration is they dropped an explosive Vaux at us wrapped in Christmas lights," Melody added. "That too, that wasn't cool," Tarusia agreed. "That is fascinating, so Connery's chemical reaction experiments worked then," Sebastian noted.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 143 "You guys gunna fight or are you seriously considering the wise surrender choice?" Connery called. "Just waiting for the prefix codes to come through!" Prim shouted back referencing Wrath of Khan for no particular reason. "A good reference from an obnoxious foe! Ready yourselves!" "Who's going to fight Jameson?" Nei asked. "I think I have to…given the…sword thing…not ideal, but…nothing in this messed up poorly written barely spell chicked universe is," Seru muttered. "Spell chicked?" the other five asked. "My point is proven!" she shouted drawing her sword. Dammit. I knew I would miss something. Writing should be licensed, seriously, you should have to take a test…freedom is just abused when you open Word or Open Office. No time for that now, it's time for action! Seru looked over Jameson's ornate albeit stolen sword and his battle stance. "Why are you doing this? You used to be honorable," Seru asked. "Tamrisu saved my life, I owe her mine. You question my honor! Everything I'm doing now stems from honor," Jameson answered ignoring his recent flirtation with killing opponents with land mines. She prepared herself knowing that his sword, though magical and legendary, gave him minimal power. Akira Tenchi Himura's blade was spoken of often. Jameson would have to fight her hand to hand to stand a chance. She had the advantage of a long range attack, however if he got close, she wasn't exactly as handy with a sword as she might have wished, though she wasn't bad either. She preferred that he not get close enough for it to matter. Jameson on the other hand was well aware of all these tactical issues, but had a plan anyway. He was a master swordsman and that skill didn't just mean he could use the weapon correctly, but also that he could position himself for the kill. He readied himself to push off by placing the blade in an attack position. Seru shifted slightly pointing the tip of her wand sword directly at him. A slight wind blew across the street. Jameson leapt forward. Seru's sword sparkled, glowed and discharged its beam. Simultaneously, Connery and Sebastian were facing off. The two knew better than to rush one another given that they were in fact evil geniuses, and used to this sort of thing. Both were confident they would win and each had several tricks up their sleeves. This was only literally true for Sebastian however as Connery kept his surprises concealed all over his outfit. Moreover, he of course felt regret that they had to fight the other, given they were made of the same stuff. The pair had gotten everyone into this mess in the first place and were under a great deal of intrinsic pressure to have something to show for it. Connery clutched his ray gun. It was not the limit of his arsenal, but he hoped it would do a significant amount of damage. Sebastian was not holding any particular weapon as his methods of attack were several whirling sensory controlled razor blades currently floating around him. "I see you finally worked out the levitation balancing problem you had been having," Connery snarled. "Did you think I wouldn't suspect your 'gardening drone' was really something more sinister?" "Indeed," Sebastian replied. "I was about to comment on your apparent solving of the refraction issue in your own weapon…or should I refer it to by its codename, the 'dance party ray'. You failed to divert suspicion as well!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 144 "The refraction issue is quite annoying, but the problem has been corrected," Connery declared. "Then we shall see whose class time has been more productive, won't we?" Sebastian asked with a pompous grin. Connery laughed slightly and fired his weapon as Sebastian's razor blades sliced across the air. As this nonsense was underway, Nei readied himself in a fighting stance. Complexity stood across from him also bouncing from side to side. "All right, if you think this is going to be Street Fighter, you're wrong, this is Complexity Fighter, and that means I'm going to maim you," Complexity taunted. "As long as we're making video game references I prefer to think of this battle in terms of Dead or Alive. You'll be dead, I will be alive. You must see the parallels," Nei answered. Complexity grinned and rushed at him. Nei prepared to block. Prim didn't hide his satisfaction as he pointed two double fisted multi-round arm cannons at Lucio. "I'm a fair guy, do you really want to face these?" he asked. "It's not really a matter of want. I have to do this," Lucio explained. "You don't seem to have too much in the weaponry department there," Prim mentioned. "Don't I?" Lucio asked as his eyes narrowed. Prim discerned something was amiss. He couldn't quite figure it out but looked in all directions as a defense mechanism. This investigation quickly discovered the laser beam dropping towards him. He swore and dived out of the way crashing to the ground roughly as his previous spot was turned into a crater. "You were nearly the victim of a satellite laser cannon. Personally I wouldn't want to die at the hands of an orbiting piece of machinery, so I'll give you a chance to give up!" Lucio yelled and laughed. "Let me think that one over," Prim muttered. Tamrisu yawned as she looked over at Melody. "I could banter, I don't feel like it," she announced and began casting a spell. Melody shrugged and started to do the same. I have rarely ever had to battle a fellow magic-user of this type. Tamrisu thought. It's a bit unnerving, but victory will be mine regardless. I have learned to be disinterested in the face of pressure or crisis before. I wonder how she'll react when I sick a summoned creature on her. Melody thought. Or maybe that's just what she's expecting. No time for second guessing…it's time for guessing! What am I talking about? Focus...yes. Focus good. After a few minutes of build up the two cast their spells at nearly the same time. From Tamrisu's hands flew a large silver dragon. It glided through the air with a scream. Melody had managed to cast a red and yellow version of the same dragon. The two creatures collided midway between their casters and exploded harmlessly. "Well…fuck," both uttered nearly at the same time. Tarusia swung her bladed wand. Vic held a relatively rusted weapon he had found lying on the ground out in front of him weakly. Should have come better prepared for this. Vic thought. But then again, they normally don't invite me to their battles. It's their fault. Oh well, maybe I can stumble through this. I'm not going to waste my magic on him. Tarusia thought. A guy with a rusted sword isn't really worth my time.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 145 "Last chance to give up!" she called over to him. "I Vic, will defend myself and my honor to the last!" Vic answered. "Enjoy your last 17 seconds of life then!" Tarusia yelled leaping forward. Jameson had launched off to his left and kept moving in a zig zag pattern. Seru's first beam had missed him, but a second clipped his left knee. He put his weight on his right foot and vaulted at her. Seru adeptly blocked her assailant with the sword wand, but he recovered, pulled back his weapon and swung again. She dodged out of the way and backpedaled, flinging a weaker strike out. Jameson deftly avoided it and swung at her again. Seru evaded and awkwardly brought her sword up and into her opponent's right arm. As the pain hit he spun back in surprise, but nonetheless gripped his broadsword with both hands and in a masterful maneuver knocked her sword wand away in a quick motion. She gasped as he reset himself and advanced. Connery's first order of business was to blast one of the flying discs out of the sky though the other two continued on seeking to dismember him efficiently. Connery prevented this fate as he pivoted around the discs and fired again turning one of the weapons to debris. The third blade dove in and connected with his ray gun, overloading it. In a slight panic Connery tossed it Sebastian's way. The futuristic weapon exploded well short of the target. "Looks like our primary weapons are done for," Sebastian admitted. "Time for the secondaries! Homing Wrench!" Sure enough it took off out of Sebastian's sleeve and zoomed toward Connery. Scotz quickly pulled a tuning fork from his pocket and threw it into the air. The fork began to vibrate as it flew and smashed into the missile resulting in a great explosion that caused no damage. "Homing Tuning Fork," Connery snorted. They laughed. Complexity and Nei both punched each other in the face repeatedly before stepping backwards to defensive stances. "All right!" Complexity shouted. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Nei shouted back tightening his headband. Complexity bounded forward. "SNAKE BADGER PUNCH!" he cried swinging his right arm with great speed. , "Rolling Inflection!" Nei shouted. He jumped high, landed on Complexity's arm, and flipped forward spinning and kicking as he did so in a fairly unrealistic display of agility. Complexity stumbled forward and winced as his enemy twisted off of him. "So that's how you want it to be?" Complexity said between heavy breaths. "You want to do Fu Kung? You want to Fu Kung all day!?" "I believe it's Kung Fu, but that isn't even the branch of fighting arts I am utilizing," Nei corrected. "Then we shall agree to disagree crapmaster!" Complexity yelled. "TRI-REVOLUTION!" Nei hollered. The headbanded one dashed forward again delivering three kicks to Complexity's abdomen in about two seconds. To his surprise though as he bounced off his victim Complexity grabbed his leg and slammed him into a light pole. Nei rolled to the ground grimacing and came up in a fighting stance while on one knee. "Yeah, see you can hurt me, but eventually I'll just slam ya into a light pole or dumpster or some sort of fence," Complexity taunted with a broad smile.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 146 "So noted," Nei groaned. Prim scrambled along the street firing arm missiles furiously as laser beams fell like rain drops towards him at an absurd rate. Lucio himself had hidden behind a double decker bus in the hopes of avoiding immolation. "Hmm...time for the old surprise in a bucket maneuver!" Prim shouted turning as gingerly as his stout frame allowed. He picked up his pace towards where Lucio was in concealment. "Oh shiteeeeee!" Lucio muttered realizing the flaw in his plan. Prim's charge at him simultaneously aimed the satellite at both of them. Lucio quickly thumbed the satellite controls embedded in his ear and shut off the ray. Prim opened fire as he ran sending Lucio scurrying away from the imminent explosion of the bus. "It's only a matter of time!" Prim howled pursuing him down an alley. "Dink! Dink! Dink!" he cried launching more missiles. "Dink!?" Lucio shouted still running. "If I can't win while making you look stupid, I'm not really winning!" Prim explained. "DINK!" Another missile launched. Lucio dodged the rocket and dived to the ground in the open on another road causing Prim to skid to a stop confused. A black helicopter popped out from behind a building about a quarter mile ahead and unleashed a score of small projectiles. "This happens too often!" Prim yelped firing quickly in return and detonating the opposing missiles before they reached him. The helicopter whizzled at him…Whizzled? Whatever…The flying contraption fired again forcing Prim to take cover. With a wave of her hands, a red and yellow flying unicorn/bear hybrid clad in king's raiments took flight. It was a ridiculous looking creature but Melody couldn't resist keeping it in her spell library. Tamrisu's counter was a giant tree covered in branches. "I don't get it," Melody admitted. The tree in a swift movement swung eighty of its branches together and a spinning ball of green and brown energy coalesced from the wood. The ball bounced forward and ricocheted off the ground at the bearicorn. The hybrid ripped off its horn with its claw and jammed it into the ball. The explosion threw both of magicians to the ground. The tree and the bearicorn disintegrated, but little was accomplished. "Oh great, more summon spells of equal strength," Tamrisu muttered clambering back off the ground. "This has just made things boring." "Time for round three then," Melody answered beginning to cast another spell. For carrying a rusted sword and having no fighting ability, Vic was holding his own, outsmarting Tarusia's parries the best he could. "Why won't you split in half!" Tarusia screamed as she arced her sword downward again only to have Vic block it. "I really don't want to die here!" Vic squealed. "Quit whining and just accept the inevitable!" Tarusia demanded swinging at his head. He ducked and swept his own sword in a circle. It knocked her wand out of her hand and caused his own weapon to shatter. "Hmm...stalemate," Vic said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 147 Tarusia kicked him in the head and flipped back to grab her wand within two seconds. Purple bolts shot from the blade. He panicked and leapt ungracefully away before fleeing down a street. She pursued, building up her next magic assault as she did so. "I hope you wrote a will! Though I doubt you own anything of value! Your life is now being measured in minutes!" Tarusia shouted. Seru did not enjoy the ludicrous evasive maneuvers she had had to engage in to prevent being skewered on the end of the Jameson's sword, but after hopping around unceremoniously she had reached her sword and blocked his urgent swipe. She took advantage of his desperation and guided the sparkling weapon towards an opening. He realized it nearly too late, but stepped aside, sliding backwards out of danger and snapping his sword up to defend. However, a whirring sound and subsequent yells interrupted everything. "Look out!" Lucio screamed. "What in the hellfuck is that?" Tarusia added. Bearing down on them was a blue tornado. The clearly magical creation rapidly twisted through the battlefield uprooting cobblestones and smashing windows with its backwash. The twelve scattered and the black helicopter banked away quickly. "Oh no it's The Barrister," Jameson muttered. "You never did explain the deal with him," Connery said in realization. "Because you kept cutting me off jive turkey! Jive turkey…why would I say that? Anyway…Connery, it's like this. He's kinda all powerful," Jameson explained. "All powerful?" Connery asked. "Seriously?" "Yes." "Like Plague?" "No no, this is different, much different," Jameson responded gravely. "What's going on?" Seru asked her own friends urgently. "The Barrister...he's really dangerous!" Nei said. "Who would have thought our reports on him being THIS powerful would actually turn out to be true," Sebastian thought aloud. The tornado stopped and dissipated revealing a man in a maroon suit. He had a long scarf draped prominently over his shoulders, and a strange grin on his face. He glowed as blue power surged through him… what is happening right now? "Welcome to my home," The Barrister said. "I have been waiting for an opportunity to unleash violence on someone. It is not in my nature, but after 1,000 years of practicing law peacefully I just want to be violent a little… is that so wrong?" The twelve all glanced at each other, unsure of why this was happening, but well aware that they were in trouble. The poorly considered parody readied himself to attack.

London. The Barrister drew closer...This is so stupid. "Now. Who shall die first? I'll let you pick one person," The Barrister boomed. "Oh great, I can just guess how this is going to come out," Vic said and sighed. "Only Plague, myself, and anyone we designate can kill you," Connery responded. "This is no time for killing for comic relief!" The Barrister's scarf flew at them. The twelve dived away as it shattered the ground…The street is really taking a beating. The new arrival retracted it back to him and twirled the long end in his hand as blueish light billowed through the cloth. Without hesitation both groups bolted down different side streets, coincidentally Connery's group hustled past a mosaic of Conservative Party ads, while the Seru Senshi accelerated by signs devoted to the Labour Party...They're all hacks…Liberal Dems are the way to go. No wonder you got your ass thrown out of the country. Liberal Dems are never relevant. "So about getting out of here…" Melody began. "There's always the underground," Nei suggested. "We kinda need to get out of here far faster than that!" Seru responded. "I can't draw anything fast enough that can hold us all!" Tarusia urgently exposited. The Barrister appeared at the end of the street. Melody and Tarusia quickly sent their fastest attacks flying at him but he knocked them aside with the scarf. "We have no choice," Sebastian said coldly. "Prim you have to turn into a truck." "WHAT?" Prim asked in surprise. "Just do it!" Sebastian commanded. "Huh?" the other four asked totally befuddled. "We can explain later, just accept that Prim can turn into a truck!" Sebastian pleaded. "This isn't something you sort out later!" Seru exclaimed. The Barrister resumed his tornado form and gyrated hastily at them. "Prim!" Sebastian yelled. "Yeah yeah, this is embarrassing," Prim muttered and did just as Sebastian asked. In what seemed to be a quite unexpected process he morphed into a red streamlined small tractor trailer complete with cargo compartment attached in the back. In reality he resembled a camper more than a tractor trailer, but go with it. "Everyone on!" Sebastian commanded hopping into the driver's seat. "I...uh...how?" Seru stammered as she took the passenger's seat. "Suspend your disbelief and come on!" Sebastian shouted. The others reluctantly climbed in the back and Prim zipped off. The Barrister whirled in search of the other

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 149 six characters that were fleeing on foot. He found them relatively quickly as their harried scuttle down through a maze of alleys put them back out onto the street they had just exited. "Gorramit," they all muttered and started running again. "You got one of those portals!" Connery shouted. "In a convenient resolution to this, yes I do," Jameson answered and quickly tossed it. The vortex opened only to be obliterated by the scarf flying out of the tornado extending an absurd length and connecting with the energy. "We're in the shite now!" Lucio shouted as the group all turned down another street. The tornado pursued. "You have any more of those!?" Connery asked. "Crap we divided them up among some of our forces, we're running really low…Tamrisu can you do a teleport spell?" "Not while running and not without minutes of preparation!" Tamrisu growled. "Someone carry me." The thundering roar of airplane engines drew their attention as Conrad Force One swept over the city at low height. Rope ladders dangled from several open doors as the 747 awkwardly moved towards them. Windows blew to pieces at the plane's approach and shingles flew off fortunately chimney sweep-less rooftops. The Barrister paused and looked upward at the aircraft with confusion. "There's our chance! PREPARE FOR SOME LADDER GRABBIN' ASSHOLES!" Complexity shouted. As the plane flew over them they each snatched at the nearest ladders they could. Even Vic managed to snag hold of a rung. They hurriedly started climbing as the rope ladders were being retracted. "Climb aboard quick shitheads! We don't have a lot of time to just be skimming the city here!" Nhightman called down from one of the doorways. Prim the Truck barreled around a turn and followed. The tornado whirled after them. "Is this the best plan we have?" Nei asked. "Best as in only!" Sebastian responded. "How are we going to get on board?" Melody asked. As if the gods could hear her, the back cargo area of the plane cracked open and descended to an angle. "Huzzah!" Nei cried. "That can work," Melody agreed. Tarusia quickly drew a ramp with her wand and magically placed it in front of them. Melody summoned a wind gust spell which pushed the truck off the ramp at higher speed then usual. Prim sailed upward and barely reached the back of the cargo bay, it skidded and he hit his brakes hard. The truck narrowly missed the far wall and came to a stop. Everyone hopped out as Prim returned to normal. "We've gotta hide quickly," Seru said stating the obvious. They peered down a hallway and then rushed into the same side auxiliary room in which they had hidden before. "So what happens if someone finds us?" Nei asked. "We blow up the plane," Tarusia suggested. "Again…this is not the right way to handle the situation," Melody answered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 150 "You may not agree now, but you will…someday," Tarusia promised. Nhightman passed by the doorway and headed to the cargo bay. He quickly closed the bay doors with the controls and went back the way he came. He momentarily stopped in front of the door. "The skid marks may give you away, I'll try to keep them from going back there," he said. "There's a map of the plane in one of the cabinets in there. You may need to move a few times." With that he moved back into the main cabin where the assemblage of Connery affiliated jokers were… assembling. "By the way during the battle, we got that guy you were looking for. Dumb luck he was trying to escape and ran into a detachment of our people," Nhightman reported. "Where is he now?" Connery questioned. "In the conference room under heavy guard," Nhightman responded. Edgea appeared on one of the viewscreens in the cabin. "Hello losers. Really? One super powered lawyer was too much for you?" she asked with a smile. "He's not just any lawyer!" Connery snapped. "Where is the rest of the army?" Tamrisu inquired. "Those that survived were brought back by Grudolf and other wizard's spells or by portals to Serpent's Cavern with their prisoners," Zak responded replacing Edgea on the screen. "But there are still scientists in other parts of the globe we haven't recovered." "We need to collect those excess captives for our mighty work," Connery said. "I really have homework can I be excused?" Lucio asked. "You too with the school work! Oh yes…school work…right…" Connery said. "I suppose I should check my assignments at some point in the future. Nonetheless enjoy your…school work Lucio." Lucio backpedaled slightly at Connery's tone. "I also can't go, I'm tired," Tamrisu muttered and started casting a spell. "Jameson go with them though. They need your skill." Jameson nodded. "Wait can you do one of those swap spells?" Edgea asked. "Zak's thing got cancelled I can come help," she said holding up a scimitar. "Uh can I…um kinda useless here…" Dave added. "DONE fuckwards," Tamrisu muttered with frustration and started casting. Two minutes later, she, Dave, and Lucio vanished and Edgea appeared with her scimitar in hand. "This isn't women's work! Woman!" Complexity snapped. Edgea vaulted forward and slid the scimitar towards his throat. Complexity fumbled backwards to avoid the slice and took up a fighting stance. "Do be careful Complexity. Your…neck…is…so…fragile," Edgea said with a grin. "Welcome aboard Edgea," Connery greeted. "Really Complexity, this isn't 1994 anymore. Treat women with respect." "I respect them fine," Complexity muttered. "You might want to read this instructional pamphlet," Vic volunteered before handing him a red folder sheet of paper.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 151 "This is about head lice," Complexity responded. "It's all the nurse's office had. I wanted the sex ed one!" Vic snapped. "I get it! I get!" Complexity snapped. "I'll do the equality thing now! I GET IT! FUCKERS! Ok!" He started banging his head against a bulkhead.

Command Center. When Lucio, Tamrisu, and Dave appeared, Zak was leaning against his console playing a banjo rapidly. Vaux, somehow revived yet again, was dancing in a circle. "What…the hell is happening?" Tamrisu asked. "No never mind." With that she sighed and left. "What's with the banjo?" Dave asked. Zak shrugged and started playing as Lucio began clapping along furiously and Vaux continued to dance.

Side Room, Conrad Force One. "Sebastian just what is going on?" Seru asked. "I am protecting scientists from falling under evil control," Sebastian explained "By capturing them?" Seru challenged. "Protective custody." "Oh I see," she muttered. "That's not the real important thing here though. It's that Prim turned into a truck," Tarusia pointed out. "Ehhehe, let's not talk about that," Prim said with embarrassment. "No, let's. This is bizarre. Why didn't you tell us you could do that?" Melody asked. "One you wouldn't have believed me, and two it's embarrassing. After all you all saw me naked," Prim answered "We saw a naked truck," Melody replied. . "It doesn't matter!" Prim snapped. "Look. Back when I was a younger guy I liked Transformers…still do, but in a much cooler way, but anyway...I wanted to be one and then one day I was just minding my own business when I fell in a small pond behind my house. Ever since then I've been able to transform into a truck in a crisis. It's too embarrassing under normal circumstances," Prim said. "So by falling into a pond..." Tarusia began. "…you can turn into a truck," Melody finished. "Yep," Prim groaned. "It is a curse, or maybe not. It's just annoying if you ask me. Magical ponds are annoying in general." "Has anyone else ever fallen into this pond?" Seru asked. "Sure, my dog did, and he can transform into a helicopter, but you guys all knew that," Prim recounted. "Oh...that's…right," The five said in unison and sudden realization. "Funny how that didn't really draw our curiosity before," Melody commented.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 152 Main Cabin, Conrad Force One. Connery stood gesturing to a computerized map behind him on the video monitor. "We have seven countries left, and we're still picking up some resistance. This will not be easy, but hopefully we can wrap this up quickly," he said. The video screen flickered and the words "INCOMING HOLO TRANSMISSION" streaked across the monitor. Connery pressed a button to accept it. A rudimentary green outlined hologram of a stomach was projected out of the video screen. "What the fuck?" Complexity muttered. "It's Tamrisu I think," Jameson said. "Tamrisu you need to point the camera at your head," Connery directed. "It's over there, I'm not walking over there," Tamrisu responded. "My stomach shall address you." Everyone at the table sighed. "As Edgea said…Grudolf and the others have teleported most of the scientists back here under guard. However he also snatched up four additional ones from Estonia, Latvia, Hungary, and Belarus." "Excellent news," Connery responded to the stomach. "That makes our task so much easier. We just gotta get through Europe and grab the last three." "What do we do with the prisoners?" Tamrisu asked. "Can you get them to our holding cells back at the school?" Connery asked. "Grudolf is too tired so he's gone home to rest. The other wizards are in similar condition. I don't know how we can get them there without drawing attention," Tamrisu said. "We'll just use the school buses fool," Edgea interjected and jumped up. She fiddled with a button on the screen. A 3 inch tall hologram of Mysterious Zak appeared floating over Tamrisu's stomach. "I think we should abandon this technology," Nhightman suggested. "What's up?" Zak asked still strumming the banjo. "PUT THE DAMN BANJO AWAY YOU CRUDFLICKER," Complexity screamed. "No," Zak responded. "Zak, can you arrange for the school busses to pick up a cargo from Serpent's Cavern no questions asked please?" Edgea requested. "Yeah that's simple enough. They owe us so many favors after Thundercade," Zak stated. Thundercade? Number 1 rule of Thundercade…is you talk about Thundercade, but not immediately upon mentioning Thundercade. "Can we wrap up this communication? I'm getting sick looking at this," Complexity spat. "Tamrisu, Zak will have the buses come by. Have the prisoners transported to Conrad High, and bring them in through the Math Tunnel diversion tube," Edgea ordered. "You got it," Zak said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 153 "If you'll excuse me, I need a nap," Tamrisu muttered and she vanished. "We all set here?" Zak asked. "Make it happen Zak," Connery ordered. The three inch tall green man faded from view. "Let's get these other scientists…there's no time…to…," Connery said. "Lose?" Vic asked. "Wrong answer!" Complexity shouted and smacked him with the back of his hand. Vic collapsed to the carpet unmoving. "As I was saying," Connery continued. "There is no time to…fail…"

Side Room. Nhightman slid in the door to find the six doing homework. "Uh ok," he said. "We could have teleported out of here but that would put me to sleep and I have stuff due," Melody said. "Teleporting our homework was easier." "Are they going to pick up more scientists?" Seru asked. "Yeah," Nhightman admitted. "We should try to mess with it," Tarusia determined. "What if we don't get back to the plane on time?" Prim asked. "Oh yeah, maybe this would help you," Nhightman said pulling a bottle from his pocket. "Is that a portal?" Tarusia asked. "Yeah, one of the guards dropped it when he was bringing the scientist on board. First chance I've had to give it to you," Nhightman explained. "Gimme," Seru commanded. Nhightman complied. "So this gives you some insurance if you want to fight but..." Nhightman ventured. "Nope enough fighting for now. It's been a nice trip, but time to go," Seru determined. "Gimme that a sec," Melody requested. Seru handed it to her. The white mage touched the portal jar with her wand. The container glowed for a few seconds then returned to normal. "This will take us back to Realm of Comics instead of Serpent's Cavern," she announced. "You can modify portals? When did you learn to do that?" Tarusia asked. "Yesterday. Had a feeling…" Melody answered. "Seru Senshi Blast Off!" Nei cried. The other five shook their heads. "Catchphrase rejected," Nei conceded. Seru tossed the portal and the six hurried into the opening.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 154 Realm of Comics. The six exited the vortex to find the usual contingent of women all hurrying out of the way of it in surprise. "Why is everyone here?" Seru asked. "Things got a little tense at Serpent's Cavern," the woman behind the counter said. "Oh yeah I guess a worldwide battle will do that," Seru admitted. "Is everyone all right Diusqa?" "Our people got out safely. I can't say the Ogres are ok though. A lot of them were cut down in Budapest especially," Diusqa responded. "Budapest, always Budapest," Sebastian spat. "I don't get it though," Nei said. "Isn't someone going to notice we just fought a gigantic multi-country battle especially in England?" "Good point," Melody agreed. "We have a theory about that," Prim volunteered. "Do tell," Seru responded jumping up to sit on the counter. "So we heard that the President is in a little um…situation…with one of his interns," Prim continued. "Impossible," Nei said. "He would never…" "We'll see how things play out I guess," Prim added. "Rumor is though that Connery and Plague learned of this and so…" "Are you fucking kidding?" Tarusia asked in annoyance. "So…the U.S. Government isn't acting against them because those bastards are blackmailing the President because he couldn't keep it in his pants?" Seru muttered. "Technically he doesn't call it an 'it', but prefers to think of it as a he. Pronouns matter," Sebastian corrected her. "Not in this case they don't," Melody interjected. "This was the day we talked about the President's junk," Prim said. "Hope we all cherish it." "We must be off though, we have guy stuff to do," Sebastian said. "Guy stuff?" Tarusia asked skeptically. "Yes, you have girl stuff, and we have guy stuff," Sebastian answered curtly. "Prim. Nei. To me!" he demanded and exited the store. The other two shrugged and followed. The Sebastianmobile was fully repaired and waiting outside. "You can thank me later!" Diusqa shouted out the door. "You're the best Diusqa!" Prim called back. "To the…cave…" Sebastian said quietly. The three departed rapidly. "Clearly we should be worried about this," Melody stated. "I'm sure they're up to no good, but I guess it's better those scientists are in their hands than Connery's. Still I don't want to encourage him," Seru admitted. "Wise," Diusqa agreed. "Though Prim and Nei won't let him go too far."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 155 "You think so?" Tarusia asked. "I hope so," Diusqa admitted. "Thanks for helping out around here since we're at Serpent's Cavern…or…England…so much now," Seru said. "No problem, gives me time to practice," Diusqa said holding out her hand. Her palm sparkled and a little creature formed on it. The creation was green with a shell resembling a tortoise though with colorful star shapes spread across it. "Cute!" most of the store's occupants cried. "You so good at creating the Monimon's," Melody praised. "It's a gift," Diusqa answered. "Man, I have way too much to do. I need to get home," Seru noted advancing the plot along. "Lemme know if anything strange happens." She turned to the group. "Everyone be careful, things have gotten far worse than I ever could have dreamed," she warned. "Yeah Dave is stealing plot devices from every anime to come out in the past few years, so watch out…one of you could end up as a rose bride," Melody noted. "In that case, just take the damn sword and go apeshit…seriously," Tarusia advised. "Wise words," Diusqa agreed. The three young women then departed in Tokyo-1.

The White House. Washington, D.C. The President sat behind his desk in the Oval Office as Presidents did…You all know what the Oval Office looks like, curtains and rugs and…Dave you slackass at least TRY To describe the setting. There's a statute over there beside the chair, from whence it came I know not where. Heinous rascal! Anyway…The President watched as his staff awkwardly entered through a side door en masse. "What kept you?" he asked. "We were trying to talk while walking and we got distracted and collided. A few of us bled out a bit sir," one of them said. "Well don't walk and talk anymore then," the President said. "But…" they all said. "No buts…well yes buts, but not now," he said. "Sir," one of the aides began. "We're getting a lot of complaints from the governments of Europe over some strange altercations that ensued." "Tell them it was a training exercise for the U.S. Military and that we're sorry for any disturbance. It was counter-terrorism maneuvers," the President responded. "The Prime Minister of the UK was especially miffed sir," another aide noted. "I read the briefing on that one. Remind him that if he didn't have an elemental lawyer running around the damage likely would have been less!" the President barked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 156 "Sir, is there something we should perhaps be doing about all this…especially with so many great scientists seized?" a third aide asked. "Continue monitoring it. Besides, this is in Byzantine Sons territory. They wanted to handle it, let them. Of course they have no clue what they're dealing with, but so be it," the President determined. "Are you sure sir?" his Chief of Staff asked. The President rose from his desk. "As sure as I am that I love my wife," he responded.

A House. A house? Ugh…anyway…later that night the phone's shrill repetitive beep interrupted a piano concerto in progress and not at all politely. The mixture of the low quality harmony mixed with the work of the master combined into a horrid conflict only resolved when Melody gave up her piano practice to dash to the phone. She pulled the telephonic device quickly from its hook on the wall. "Good evening. Hayes residence," she said. "Hey Melody," Tarusia responded. "You busy?" "Practicing. Why?" "There's something I want to check out. It would be better if I wasn't alone in case things go to hell" "That's confidence inspiring. Are we robbing a bank?" Melody asked. "Hope not, but if we did, I'd do it right." "Sure you would, but what is this about? Should I get Seru?" "No no, she's super busy, and it's better if we just do this ourselves," Tarusia quickly answered. Melody considered noting that practicing a complicated piano piece also counted as super busy but let it go. "You sure?" she asked. "Totally sure. I'll be by in a few," Tarusia responded. "I didn't say if I could…" Tarusia hung up. "I should just ditch her plan for that," Melody muttered. "But she knows I won't…dammit." A few minutes later the honk of the horn broke through the beautifully played notes abruptly, causing Melody to once again abandon the instrument and wander to the window. She opened the curtains to see the gleaming familiar purple roadster parked at the curb with Tarusia at the wheel. How Tarusia had acquired such a sweet machine is the subject of great mystery. Why she usually didn't use it and just bummed rides of Seru was even a greater one. Melody grabbed her things and left the house, climbing into the passenger seat gingerly. "Where are we going?" she inquired. "Some guy's apartment," Tarusia responded. "Lovely. Details are our friends, why are you neglecting them?" "I have better friends now. Don't have time for details anymore, it's not fair but it's life," Tarusia said . Melody paused to think of a retort, but failed to find one. "But to be less of a jerk about it…" Tarusia answered. "I want to end this war…tonight."

A Cave. A…cave…Fuck you Dave. Fuck you. Sebastian's Ford pulled in next to a cave…and the three male members of the Seru Senshi stepped out. "Why are we keeping the scientists here?" Nei asked. "Because we don't have enough storage space at Realm of Comics and besides Seru isn't exactly thrilled we're doing this. I don't want her to know where the scientists are." The three reached a set of metal doors. "Are these new?" Nei asked. "Caves don't normally come with metal doors," Sebastian reminded him. "Yes, but normally anytime you end up with a cave things happen. I was wondering how long you've had this thing," Nei said. Sebastian tapped a code into the key panel next to the doors. The sounds of the beeps resembled the theme to The Final Sacrifice though with slower pacing. "ACCESS FUCKING GRANTED." A computerized version of Sebastian's voice announced as the doors began to part. The three were soon standing in a steel lined laboratory area where a large amount of Ogres and Goblins stood guard while the scientists sat quietly "I see Sissiphor was true to his word," Sebastian noted. "What do you want from us!" one of scientists shouted at the three's approach. "Do not worry. You are here for your own protection," Sebastian said. "We mean you no harm." "Uh...I meant them harm," one of the Ogres remarked. "Oh..." Sebastian replied and paused. "I see, well he doesn't speak for the group. We're here to protect you all," he hurriedly clarified. "Yeah trust us," Prim snickered. "I don't think you should be trusted, but admittedly you did save us from those other troublemakers," another scientist said. "But why can't you let us go?" "Because there's no one out there that can protect you like we can," Sebastian explained. "But we can only protect you here." "I'm not so sure about all this," yet another of the scientists said. "Look, either way you're stuck here. You can be cooperative or uncooperative, but like it or not we're the closest things to good guys around here," Sebastian asserted. "You employ some very strange allies," the first scientist said. "They all glanced at a Goblin who was about to eat his axe." "Ahem...sorry!" the Goblin blurted mortified at the attention. Sebastian turned away from the scientists and walked to a computer at the end of the room. He pressed a

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 158 few buttons. The computer responded in his computerized voice. "ENTER PASSWORD." Sebastian did. "YOUR PASSWORD HAS EXPIRED. PLEASE ENTER A NEW PASSWORD." "Dammit," he muttered and started filling in the multiple forms fields. "ACCESS GRANTED DOCTOR MAPPS." "Finally," he muttered. "You just awarded yourself the title of Doctor?" Prim asked from beside him. "You just award yourself a beard, what's the difference?" Sebastian snapped. "It's a fine beard," Prim said stroking it. "But earning facial hair is different than acquiring false academic credentials." "I deserve it. I have taken it," Sebastian stated. A map appeared on the screen. "That was fast, no boot up or anything? Just a map…where's the desktop?" Prim asked. "Enough questions," Sebastian responded. "It appears other than the scientists we now have there are three or four left, and the battle does not go well in any of them. How unfortunate." He watched as little teeny dots on the three battlefield readouts blinked out. "So much for those guys," Prim said. "We will work with what we have," Sebastian said spinning on his back heel and nearly whacking Nei to the ground as he did. "Watch it there hacky sack," Nei said. "You…watch…yourself," Sebastian sneered and strode back to the scientists. "Good news!" He began. "Our ranks are complete and your glorious work will begin now! Food will be provided, but its quality will vary depending on your output!" The scientists all growled. "I don't care if you have a Nobel Prize or not. If the work is not complete, I'm not ordering out to the good Chinese place, but instead…we'll order out to…Jade Garden…" Sebastian threatened. "Not Jade Garden!" Nei shouted. "Don't torture them you monster!" "The monster…lies inside all of us, and if you eat from Jade Garden, much more will lie inside all of you!" Sebastian warned. "Yeah you all might want to work. He uses hyperbole but you really don't want any Jade Garden," Prim said in support as he continued to stroke his beard. "What do you want us to do?" one of the scientists asked. "An excellent inquiry," Sebastian said with glee. "Allow me to explain."

An Apartment Complex. An apartment complex…Dave you're awful. In said Apartment Complex, Tarusia and Melody walked down a dingy hallway. The walls were a putrid shade of brown and stained with the remnants of a decade of rainfalls.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 159 "Seriously, what are we doing here?" Melody asked. She continued to set a longevity record for making sense in this world of the damned. Tarusia ignored her inquiry and glanced at the donut shop receipt she had scribbled the apartment number on and checked doors. "Here," she said and knocked on the wooden door with great force. They could perceive a figure was stepping towards the door, delaying perhaps to look through the peephole or perhaps even plan an attack of some sort. Melody tensed and clasped her wand beneath her cloak. Tarusia though seemed unconcerned. The lock snapped and the door opened revealing Grudolf the Grey. Behind them they could make out a relatively simplistic apartment, with bookcases, bureaus, and strange nick knacks on the wall. A bowl of nachos sat untouched on the kitchen counter. "Ladies?" he asked in surprise. "How may I be of service?" "We need to talk to you," Tarusia declared. "We do?" Melody asked. "Yep," Tarusia said. "Very well," Grudolf said and grabbed his hat and staff from near the door. "Forgive my slowness. I am quite tired after the great battle. I would suggest we go for a walk then as inviting you in might seem strange. People talk." "Good call," Tarusia said. Grudolf grabbed his keys and closed the door before leading them down a hallway. "Why do you stay in a place like this?" Melody asked. "It's affordable. It isn't like I can stay in some hut outside of town or something. We all need proper accommodations. It's not much but it does all right. Some of the paladins live upstairs, though they are loud and obnoxious listening to lute music all night," Grudolf explained. "Sounds awful," Tarusia admitted. "Yes it is, but I can't be too picky, I don't make a lot of money working down at the plant," Grudolf said. "What do you do there?" Melody asked. "I'm a troubleshooter, when they screw up the metal working…I just fix it with magic," Grudolf answered. The two girls shared a glance as they often did. "Somehow you seem to be…underutilized," Melody finally said. "Job market is tough for everyone. It's what you have to look forward to in a few years," Grudolf said solemnly. "Even wizards are underemployed…fuck," Tarusia said with a grimace. "I wouldn't worry! We're in the fine arts. Jobs are always plentiful," Melody added with a smile born from sarcasm. The two girls stopped and sighed. "Sorry to depress you," Grudolf said. "Up here," he added and led them up a less than impressive metal staircase. They went a few flights up and stepped out onto the roof of the complex. A variety of lawn chairs had been set up providing a great view of everything. Hartford's shimmering spires and office towers rose to the east, the center of Conrad was behaving itself to the north, to the south was…nothing of note, but to the west, sat Conrad High in its valley surrounded by nature and such. The football team appeared to be practicing on the field and at

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 160 least one player seemed to be wearing a flaming helmet and was pursued by others with sticks. "Sportsball…" Tarusia muttered. Grudolf plopped into a lawn chair. "Have a seat if you like," he said. "I'll stand," Tarusia responded. Melody decided to follow her friend's lead. "Why have you sought me out?" Grudolf asked. "Grudolf, you're a good man. Why do you side with the bad guys?" Tarusia inquired. "I owe my life to many of the knights in that store, and the knights nearly to a man owe their lives to Tamrisu. It is a matter of honor," Grudolf explained. "I made the mistake of challenging Sissiphor inside his Chamber of Skulls. His power was immense. I was nearly slain, but Tamrisu and others helped me." "I don't get it, when did Tamrisu do anything other than sit on her ass?" Tarusia asked. "She dreamed of better things once, those dreams are gone," Grudolf responded. "You learn things as you age." "She's in high school…" Tarusia pointed out. "She learns quickly," Grudolf answered. "And what about how she treats people like us? Is that honorable?" Melody asked. "It isn't of course," The wizard admitted. "I have tried to get her to see reason, but like the kings and queens many of us used to serve, she will not see beyond her own blindness and prejudice. Though it is not without reasons," Grudolf responded reclining. "Tamrisu does not want to be defined by the actions of others, and that drives her to do bad things. Alas we are bound to her. I have tried so many times to get through to her. I don't think anyone can." "So this is just how it will be?" Tarusia asked with disappointment. "Unless you can somehow find a way to break down the walls Tamrisu has put up, yes it is. It is not like I am the only one who has tried to work this out. The warriors are a mixture of fair minded people and neanderthals, but many see flaws in how Tamrisu carries herself, but she is unreachable." "There must be a way," Melody asserted with optimism. "Doesn't sound like it," Tarusia countered. "Though I was hoping for it to work…" "There probably is a way, but none of us have found it," Grudolf suggested. "I would suggest you look, and look quickly. I don't think a court order will keep the peace for long." "You too huh?" Tarusia asked. "I should have brought the nachos," Grudolf observed. "I think we're done here," Melody surmised. Tarusia nodded and the two headed for the rooftop door. "Thanks for coming. Your goals are noble. Peace would be nice," Grudolf said. "Yeah," Tarusia said with little enthusiasm. "One thing ladies…" Grudolf ventured. They stopped. "Far more dangerous enemies lie elsewhere. All of this…these battles…are but a diversion from the forces

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 161 that would wipe all comic and gaming stores off the planet. Forces that would strike down warriors of light and demons of darkness. Evils so great that they are actually opposed to other evil…which doesn't entirely make sense, but hopefully you get the drift of it." The two paused. "Sure, yeah," they said barely comprehending his strange pronouncement and exited.

President's Office. Conrad High School. An hour after one fateful meeting, Stiegg entered the office to find Vaux lying prostrate on the floor. Dave was reading a book behind the desk. "Uh…" Stiegg began. "Yeah Vaux's there. I think he's not entirely dead, can't figure it out, he was there when I got here," Dave explained. "Didn't he explode?" "He always revives. I heard he was dancing earlier," Dave replied. Stiegg kicked Vaux's arm, but the boy didn't move. "Have a seat," Dave invited. "Why are you here so late?" Stiegg asked sitting. "Why are you?" "I um…am still hiding from the law. Lucio intervened but he suggested I not leave the premises for a few days. They've got me hooked up in the command center with a shower and clothes," Stiegg said. "Logical," Dave responded. "That does explain why you're wearing M.C. Hammer pants." Stiegg frowned and looked them over. "They told me these were awesome guy pants, that would make me awesome…I didn't know they were M.C. Hammer related," Stiegg said. "Well M.C. Hammer is awesome, that's true, but his pants cannot perform miracles," Dave explained. "Guess so. So why are you here?" Stiegg asked. "I thought we finished all the paperwork." "The interesting thing is that when the B.S. controlled the council they let all the things that the council was actually supposed to do slide. There was actually a complicated arrangement of duties set up back in the sixties when students were rioting and the administration gave in giving the students a ridiculous amount of power. The more we work on it, the more I find out," Dave answered. "So we sorted out the club funding, but apparently we actually get to review faculty appointments." "Wha?" Stiegg answered. "Yeah…there's like twenty years of stuff here, I'm looking for anything of use, either legitimately or to our dark masters," Dave exposited. "Wow," Stiegg said. "This is weird," Stiegg said. "Can I ask something?" "I don't know why Axl Rose said those things. I mean Hetfield had caught on fire, you'd think he coulda been the hero…" Dave responded. "I wasn't asking about that," Stiegg said. "Ya know what I think? I think Slash should go solo," Dave continued.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 162 "That'll never happen," Stiegg replied. "But what I actually meant to ask was…you write the story, why doesn't it turn out exactly according to plan and how are you not aware of everything?" "Putting aside that the fact that you asking that works against your question…and just by you asking… creates a paradox that bothers me…there are rules," Dave answered. "Rules?" "Yes, I'm a character in my own story. That isn't allowed unless rules are followed, or things could be abused," Dave explained. "The Grand Council of Literature passed them after the growth of Mary Sues in writing." "What?" Stiegg asked in shock. "Think of the power a character in a story could have if they're also the author. Immense power to shape the world." "Oh…" "So my story has to be reviewed by the Council of Betas." "The what?" "Council of Beta Readers. It's a complicated process I will not explain here." "Convenient." "Damn right it is. Also there are rules that all writers must follow or else face punishment by Literary Court." "Literary…Court…" "Yeah…so it's why I don't know everything and not everything goes right. If it did I would be hauled in front of the Literary Court so fast…" "Wow…this is more fucked up than I thought," Stiegg said. Dave shrugged.

A Restaurant. Now you're just mocking me. Yep. Tarusia sat across from Melody in the booth of the Friedly's restaurant on Main Street staring at the food she already regretted ordering. Friedly's was known for its ice cream and for frying things…frying so…many… things! "What is it? You look like you hate that burger," Melody inquired. "I actually do hate this burger! This is totally not what I want. I guess I'm just distracted," Tarusia said stabbing the burger repeatedly with her knife. "That's scary," Melody quickly noted. "Does this help?" Tarusia asked and started stabbing the burger with her spoon instead. "Slightly." Tarusia put the spoon down, paused and looked up. "We have to take Tamrisu out," the black mage said. Melody dropped a fork full of salad onto the floor. "Dammit, they never replace forks," she muttered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 163 "Did you hear me?" Tarusia asked urgently. "I dropped my fork didn't I?" Melody responded curtly. "And?" "No." "No? How can you say no? I'm not saying we kill her…just some sort of sleep spell or something," Tarusia persisted. "Thanks for clarifying. I assumed that you weren't suggesting assassination, but still we can't do that," Melody stated firmly. "Why?" "Because it'll change the whole dynamic of the war. If we start trying to take out people individually they will come after Seru and we can't let that happen." "Seru can handle herself. Maybe with Tamrisu out of the way we can have some peace. Without an army behind Plague and Connery, they might chill, and the things won't be so awful at Serpent's Cavern," Tarusia reasoned. "You think after we eliminate their leader the other side will warm to us more?" Melody asked. "Maybe…I mean they're all doing this because they are loyal to her," Tarusia said. "Loyalty that likely will continue if she's incapacitated. She'll be a martyr and even if I agreed, it puts Seru at greater risk. Right now we still have some boundaries," Melody responded. "I get what you're saying but I disagree. I think it'll lead to more problems than we have now… especially for Seru." Tarusia sighed. Melody looked her over curiously. "Tarusia, are you doing all right, you've kinda become more…er…cutthroat lately…" Melody ventured. "Because I have to," Tarusia said. "Enemies at the store, enemies at school, and now enemies that Grudolf's talking about. Who knows who else? You think I want to go around like this? You and Seru may think we can get through it without losing ourselves a bit, but I'm not so sure. I want the same thing you do, but I think we may have to be more drastic." Melody awkwardly scooped up some salad with a spoon and swallowed. "I hope you're wrong," she finally answered. "If I'm wrong, great, but I don't want to take that chance. You're all too important for me to get caught off guard or trust the wrong people," Tarusia answered. "I mean of course Sebastian's expendable, but everyone else… hell Sebastian….may be the enemy Grudolf was talking about…" "He's…not!" Melody answered in surprise dropping her spoon. "Goddammit." "I don't know anymore. I thought he was relatively harmless, then he kidnapped a bunch of scientists and I don't even know man," Tarusia admitted. "Damn this burger," she growled. "What else can we do?" As she contemplated the awful meat sandwich and the suspicious looking tomato poking out from beneath the bun, an idea started to come to her. "We should take Dave out then," she finally said. Melody thought for a few moments. "Yeah ok," she agreed.

Still At Friedly's. "Incapacitating the author isn't an easy thing to do," Melody admitted picking up where the last chapter left off. "No, we'll need some help," Tarusia conceded. Strange that this conversation is happening. What conversation? You can't see it? No, what are you talking about? Melody and Tarusia just realized they can't attack Tamrisu and are wondering their next move. Stop interrupting! Fascinating. "Hey narrator you tool! Don't draw attention to us!" Tarusia snapped. WHAT? How are you addressing me? And I'm not a tool! "You're totally a tool, we have magic powers remember?" Melody chimed in. Magic powers granted through the context of the book! Ugh nothing ever makes sense! How does this stupid ass universe operate? "The hell if we know, but go with it," Melody said. "Speaking of which…" In a flash of light…the narrator…appeared in the booth beside Tarusia. WHAT? No no no send me back! I don't want to be trapped in here! "Then you'll…help us out," Tarusia demanded with a sinister smile. The narrator looked over at the more reasonable Melody for aid. "There's no good cop, bad cop here. You're going to help us, or the town just gained a new resident," Melody threatened with a grin. The narrator looked at the two unsurely but slowly nodded. "Excellent, when we're done here we might want to pull other characters out of books. I'd love to talk to Falstaff," Melody said. "Who wouldn't want to talk to Falstaff? Though I have more contemporary targets in mind," Tarusia said. "Ooo good call," Melody agreed knowingly. The narrator sighed unsure if he was better off at the mercy of the teenagers or his current employer. "Do you know where Dave is?" Tarusia asked. He's working late at the school. "To the school then!" Tarusia shouted. "Waiter kind sir, we require the check!" Their waiter slid up, check in hand. "Anything for you Tarusia," he said with a handsome grin and handed it to her.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 165 The pair quickly paid and sent the waiter on his way…Ahem. "Ah yes narrator you rogue. At some point we're going to need you to distract Dave, and then insert our language into the story so we can get the drop on him," Tarusia explained. If it's longer than a paragraph he'll notice. I've been trying to slip shite in all book. "Then we'll make it a paragraph," Melody said. "Back to your personal hell for now," Tarusia said and the narrator vanished. The two left the restaurant to Tarusia's waiting car out on Main Street. Tarusia vaulted up onto the hood and backflipped into the driver's seat. Melody just shrugged and walked slowly to the passenger seat. "You're ruining the whole vibe," Tarusia muttered. Melody shrugged again.

The Penguin Residence. Zaee tossed the Biology book across the room in disgust. "What?" Maka asked her. "I just don't get it!" Zaee snapped. "I read the section over and over and over and over…I just don't get it." "Alleles?" Penguin inquired. "Yeah…" Zaee responded. "They are like my kryptonite." "Ok let's go over it again." "I wonder when we'll get the classroom back," Zaee muttered. "I told you. Don't worry about classes and classrooms, we'll learn it on our own," Maka said. "Now let's do the allele thing." Honking drew their attention. "Oh no," Zaee muttered. Maka looked out the window. Daman was poking his head out of his Tercel. "I told you I need to study tonight!" Maka shouted out the window. "But we're going to the Observatory!" Daman responded. "What could they possibly do at the Observatory?" Zaee wondered aloud. "Bad bad things," Maka responded with a knowing smile. "Wait until tomorrow!" "Tomorrow we're getting McDonald's Pizzas and we're going to race remote control cars at the Reservoir!" Daman cried back. "Damn…damn…I promised…" Maka muttered. "Zaee…you have to tape me to the chair…or else I'll go with them…I don't want to lie to you…I promised…" "WHAT?" Zaee asked. "Please. Don't make me an irresponsible liar. You're a good friend!" Maka said thrusting the duct tape into her hands. "Ok this is really weird…" Zaee said. Daman honked more. "I can't tonight!" Maka yelled out the window. "Hurry Zaee! It's just like Odysseus!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 166 "This is incredibly creepy," Zaee said. "His effect on you AND what I'm doing now." "You need to learn about alleles! I regret nothing in the pursuit of our friendship!" Maka shouted as Zaee wound the tape around. Eventually the car drove off. "Can I let you go now?" Zaee asked. "He'll be back three or four more times," Maka explained. "Let's get started." "I thought my other friends were the crazy ones," Zaee groaned.

Conrad High School. President's Office. Dave slid a piece of paper from his inbox to his outbox and picked up a small spreadsheet. He glanced at it and hummed the theme to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Satisfied with the contents of the spreadsheet he put it in his outbox as well. The door swung open suddenly. "Do it!" Tarusia shouted as she and Melody pushed themselves in the doorway wands drawn. And nothing happened… "I'm afraid the text will deviate from what you expect," Dave replied standing up from behind the desk. "How the hell did you do that?" Melody asked in shock. "The narrator was not as careful as he should have been and now he's facing a dock in pay!" Dave explained. Curses! "Yes I found your changes and with one hit of the undo button. Bam!" Dave recounted. "Ok now I'm kinda with the narrator in totally not getting how any of this works," Melody muttered. "Like is this universe literally an open word document…like always? And if so…that is depressing." "Try not to think about it," Tarusia urged. "I was prepared for your magical assault. Please go," Dave pleaded. "Are you prepared for this!" Tarusia shouted charging at him. "We'll do it manually if magic won't work!" "Fuck!" Dave exclaimed and jumped out the side door. Tarusia sprinted after him. He rushed down a hallway and down the main stairwell, with the mage at his heels swinging her bladed wand as fast as she could. He dodged it narrowly. "Are you actually trying to kill me!?" Dave shouted worriedly. "Things are escalating! What can I say?" Tarusia asked. "You're the one escalating them!" Dave yelled back. A squad of security guards rounded a corner. "Protect the dillhole!" one of them shouted and rushed at Tarusia. Dave slid past them. Tarusia leapt up, drop kicked one guard and spun off using her momentum to lunge and punch a second before continuing on her way. Dave was through an exit door into a courtyard as she raced after him, but more guards gave chase. Melody had found an open window and poked her staff out of it. A smaller sleep spell lanced out from the orb and hit the guards sending them to the ground. Dave's pace quickened in desperation but Tarusia was far more athletic. Bwahahaha he's gunna die. A whirring noise came from above. Tarusia whirled and watched in surprise as a Conradine One swept

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 167 over them. "Dammit no!" Tarusia shouted. A rope ladder dropped from the helicopter as it approached. Dave leapt for it and succeeded in clutching it. The helicopter flew skyward and Dave gingerly climbed aboard. Tarusia contemplated trying to shoot it down but hesitated realizing that just wasn't in her to do…yet. "How did you know I was in trouble?" Dave asked the pilots. "The command center monitors strange activity. They noticed immediately and we scrambled from the field," the male Buzzinator answered. "Wait so you literally just took off and did a circle to pick me up?" Dave asked. "Yes sir, it sounds that stupid when you say it like that," the female Buzzinator said. Tarusia leaned against a bench in the courtyard to catch her breath. She sighed and dropped into it. Melody walked up soon afterward. "Well fuck," Tarusia muttered. "HALT!" came the voice of more guards. Melody whirled and leveled them with a spell. "Maybe in retrospect this wasn't our best idea," Melody noted. "On the other hand we were really close. Someday Tarusia we will successfully incapacitate an author if we keep trying." "Are you mocking me right now or being optimistic? I can't tell," Tarusia wondered. Melody paused. "I'm not sure what I mean," she admitted and sat down on the bench as well. "Were you going to actually kill him?" "No, I was just trying to scare or wound him a little…" Tarusia admitted. "I wonder what he did to protect himself from our magic. What a mess. What do we…" A rumbling of trucks intruded on their contemplation. They looked across the court yard as through the gaps in the Math Tunnel they could make out a convoy of buses dimly lit by yellow and red lights rolling up towards the school. "That's suspicious," Melody observed. "Let's get a closer look," Tarusia suggested bravely. They crept closer and crouched behind a large pile of bushes. A group of warriors climbed off the buses and after them came scientists in various garb. The Math Tunnel shook for a second and a small side tube slid out of one of its sides. "Since when can it do that?" Melody asked. "This is some sort of bullshit," Tarusia surmised. They watched the assortment of people go into the side tunnel and apparently disappear. "So they're keeping those scientists they captured somewhere here then," Melody realized. "Bet Sebastian would love to know that," Tarusia said. "We going to tell him?" "I don't know. I'm torn. On the one hand. I like messing with our enemies, on the other…I like messing with Sebastian."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 168 "We should probably…" Their dialogue was interrupted once again, this time by a loud roar. "The fuck!" Tarusia snapped. Conrad Force One came over the trees of the vast golf course and wilderness adjacent to the school and landed on the athletic fields with a titanic boom followed by the screech of brakes. The plane coasted to a stop well before the perimeter fence and taxied towards the school. "Now what?" Tarusia muttered. "Come on…" "You sure?" Melody asked. "This is getting way out of hand." "I don't know anymore, but whatever, stuff is happening." They hurried across the school grounds and ducked behind a generator. The back of the 747 had opened and a variety of main characters emerged, and with them some lab coated figures. Conradine One meanwhile set down nearby as well. "Even more scientists," Melody said. "I thought Sebastian was fighting them pretty evenly." "Sebastian has been sucking at life a lot lately. I'm not surprised," Tarusia responded. The group passed by them. "Told you the plane could land here," Connery was saying. "Yeah well…it seemed impossible you pompous shyster," Complexity groused. "Shyster? That's a random one…" Connery observed. "You're a random…a random shit kicker," Complexity snapped. And the group all entered the school except Nhightman who paused at the entrance and then wandered towards their spot of concealment. He leaned against the generator, pulled out a cigarette and tossed it on the ground. "Smoking is bad…" he muttered. "I don't think anyone saw you, but this isn't the best hiding place." The two girls stiffened. "You knew we were here?" Melody asked. "I'm paranoid and always expecting attack. I observe my surroundings more than most. White mage capes are pretty obvious." "I told you to just wear the white mage T-shirt," Tarusia hissed. Melody sighed slightly embarrassed. "Anyway…you two were never the covert type. There's a learning curve at being secretive," Nhightman said. "Didn't you already get discovered as a double agent and you've been in the story for practically no time at all!?" Tarusia snapped. Nhightman didn't responded immediately but headed for the door. "I'm going to go," he said. "By the way though, with all the activity here, Tamrisu is basically alone back at the Serpent's Cavern." "Interesting news," Tarusia said. "Wait…where are they keeping the scientists?" Melody asked. "In the command center complex of course," Nhightman replied.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 169 "What command center complex?" the two asked. "Oh that's right, we have a massive underground command center. Thought you knew," Nhightman answered and headed inside. "This is so weird," Melody said. It took her about five seconds to realize Tarusia was no longer beside her. "The fuck?" she asked no one and looked around. She discerned her friend was now racing towards her car in the darkness.. "Dammit," she said and followed desperately realizing what Tarusia was planning.

Command Center. "That was an exciting chase," Zak noted watching the replay of Dave's near miss on the giant screen. Edgea, Connery, and the rest of the group laughed as well. Dave leaned against a console and battled his inner sadness as the laughter continued. The various warriors, Dwarves, and the like came out of a side corridor. "Your scientists are in their 'fun work hotel' as you call it," Argron reported. "We must return to Serpent's Cavern, but as requested we have left a detachment of guards for your use." "Much obliged," Connery said. The small army left. "This isn't good," Zak said studying a data readout as Edgea slid into the chair beside him and placed her red stained scimitar back under the console. "Is that blood?" he asked breaking his train of thought. "Oh so much blood, and entrails, so many entrails," she responded with a smile. "They underestimated me, and I undercut them." "What isn't good?" Connery asked returning to the subject at hand. "I decided to do some checking based on all the scientists we picked up and presumably the ones that our enemies have picked up as you requested, and it turns out that we have a little problem," Zak reported. "A little problem?" "Yes. As it turns out all the scientists you reported you needed for component four are in enemy hands." "Component four...hmmm...oh well, that was just some of the safety protocols. We'll deal." "Are you sure?" "Positive," Connery confirmed "Safety is for the weak."

Iowa. Iowa…well ok… Shut up traitor, we will have words during the next chapter break. I'm going to enjoy tabbing and indenting your face. …Lord Plague materialized in a field of corn. "Yes…of course…the corn…" he grumbled and blasted a half acre of it away with a small slick of his

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 170 middle finger. The exertion revealed a small stone door buried in the dirt. He approached it only to step back suddenly as he sensed danger. Thirty six pink balls of energy hit the ground directly ahead of him and caused a ludicrous explosion. He flew backward forty yards to avoid the shockwave and soared upward in search of Strika. She spun out of cloud cover and launched another barrage in his direction. He shot darkened spiked lances into each of the projectiles and incinerated them. Strika grinned and swept past him before turning to stare him down. "You're not about to get the Binoculars of Krimvo without a fight!" she shouted. "I'll find the Library of Ancients before you!" "You will fail to find the Library! You fail to find the stones! You will fail to live! Your moment of destruction is oncoming!" Plague screamed creating a fifteen foot tall blade of blackened power in his right hand. Aren't they worried about destroying Iowa like they're afraid of destroying Conrad? Nope.

A Roadway. Tarusia put her foot down on the gas and weaved her roadster through traffic. "I need me some driving music," she said and hit the play button on the cassette player. She let out a groan as "Amish Paradise" resonated out of the speakers. "Fine song, just not right now. Dangit Prim leaving his tapes around," she muttered and flicked on the radio. "Heart Shaped Box" blared through the air. "Ok this is not what I'm looking for!" she snapped at no one and turned the car into the Serpent's Cavern parking lot. She pulled to a stop, shut off the ignition and hurdled over the door only to nearly collide with Melody who appeared via teleport in front of her. "Tarusia…" she said with a glare. "I'm doing what I have to! Don't stand in the way," Tarusia demanded. "We agreed to not…" "Fine I'll try to talk to her, but if she doesn't listen I might just get violent. Either way, are you actually going to stop me from going in there?" Melody sized up her friend's intensity and considered her options. With a sigh she moved aside. "We're not done here, and you're paying for dinner after that stunt you pulled," Melody said. Tarusia nodded and headed for the door. The pair soon entered and found that Tamrisu was sitting at the back of the store, though so were a pair of human warriors and a Dwarf. "She's not alone," Tarusia muttered. "Fuck Nhightman…still…this isn't a lot of enemies." "Be careful," Melody whispered. Tamrisu barely acknowledged the arrival of the two girls when they entered the store. Tarusia gave the death glare to the warriors who were looking them over with disdain. "Give me a reason," she threatened waving her sharp wand. "Let's just keep it peaceful," Melody suggested. "Plenty of time to crush each other's skulls if we decide to." "How many skulls have ye crushed?" the Dwarf asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 171 "More than I can count," Melody replied. "Ye be lying," the Dwarf countered. "Unfortunately my proof requires a lot of digging. If you want to get started I'll show you where to stick the shovel," Melody added with a slight grin. The Dwarf seemed caught off guard at that and said nothing more. "What do you want?" Tamrisu growled. "Tamrisu we are here to talk to you," Tarusia said. "Hear us out please," Melody said. Tamrisu looked at them both. "Very well," she answered, but watched with glee as the portal bottle she had just rolled under the table smashed against a chair leg, opened, and a vortex enveloped the two. "Mother fucker!" Tarusia shouted as they vanished.

Japan. The portal dumped the two awkwardly in Jameson's least favorite field. The two crashed onto the ground hard. Tarusia was the first to leap up as Melody stood slowly and brushed herself off. "Oh lovely," Melody muttered as they realized that a dozen swordspeople in red were standing at the ready. "Oh hey," Tarusia greeted. "Where did you come from!" one of the swordsmen demanded in English. "Why do you ask?" Tarusia asked. "You speak English. You are not Japanese," the man replied. "Where are you from? You're from that store aren't you!" "What…is…going on?" the two girls asked in unison. "You all killed Himura!" the man shouted and charged. The others followed. In a second, Melody swung her staff downward. A beautiful song came from it and vibrated into the ground causing a small earthquake. The warriors all fell off balance and hit the dirt. "I need time for a teleport spell!" Melody said. "Wish you hadn't made me use up some power before. We need to get out of here!" Tarusia quickly tried to draw a bird but in her haste it turned out to be a deformed beast. The sword bearing warriors hurriedly stood back up. "Ugh it looks like a Pokemon," Melody said. "I know I know! It's a rush." Tarusia said. The two hopped on the bird and it awkwardly flew away. The swordfighters raced after them. "Not my best work," Tarusia muttered as the bird barely kept ahead of their pursuers. Melody concentrated on her spell. The bird started to falter as it nearly crashed into a drainage ditch and just missed colliding with a shed. Tarusia desperately tried to steer it despite the lack of proper tail feathers. A sword flew at them awkwardly, spinning just by their heads. Melody kept up her concentration despite the brush with death. The orb on her staff finally flickered and they were bathed in energy. Moments later they appeared in the yard of her house. The bird however was still flying, and the two dived from it as it soared into a fence,

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 172 crashed, and sank to the ground. It let out a pathetic cry of "Wauuuuui…" and disappeared. "Poor thing," Tarusia said. "Damn that hurt." "Yeah…well…" Melody muttered and collapsed from the strain of major teleportation. As happens in books with plotting and timing, Seru happened by at that exact moment coming upon the scene of her one friend sitting wincing on the grass and her other friend passed out across a stone pathway feet away from a giant indentation in the fence. She hesitated, blinked, and hesitated some more before finally asking a question. "What happened?" "Villainy," Tarusia answered. Seru's left eyebrow rose.

Command Center, Holding Cells. Connery, flanked by guards, Edgea, and Nhightman, stood in front of the assembled scientists. "I would like to apologize for our methods, but time is of the essence in the battle for freedom," he said. "You call this freedom!" one of the scientists shouted. "I would agree that being locked in a cell or forced to work on a super weapon is not freedom itself, but it is for the greater good of freedom that we needed you," Connery said. "Don't you work with Lord Plague!?" another scientist snapped. "Indeed I do. Though the fact that you know that is troubling, however I will determine a course of action on that…soon enough," Connery responded. "However Plague's actions are also for the greater good." "How can a great lord of darkness be working for the greater good?" a third scientist inquired. "As a super intelligent figure I'm surprised you would resort to stereotypes," Connery responded. "Darkness means evil does it? Are you telling me a crow is more evil than a dove? That Batman is evil even though he is clad all in black? That the night sky is evil even though space is dark and because it is we can see the stars! Do not diminish yourselves," Connery answered. "So many of those who claim to be righteous…lie." He paused for effect. "Our enemies do not show their weapons openly. They carry them in their hearts! They hide in plain sight ready to deprive, you, me, and all who oppose them of so much. The true threats are not here in front of you, but we…stand in their way!" The scientists all looked at him in confusion. "When this task is complete, you will be freed, I promise," Connery said. He turned and headed for the door, the others followed. "You lie so well," Nhightman said. "Where was the lie?" Connery responded. "Compared to our enemies, we are heroes." They headed down a long hallway and back into the command center. Zak still had the banjo out and Complexity, Vaux, and Vic were spinning around. Lucio sat to the side looking bored. "Cease that banjo," Connery demanded. Zak stopped. "Ah Lucio hello," Connery said approaching and cold cocking him in the face.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 173 Lucio crumpled to the metal floor hitting it with an ugly clang. "YEAH! SNEAK POUND THAT FUCK!" Complexity cried. "The serum," Connery ordered. Edgea flitted over to a wall panel and opened it. She removed a syringe and dipped it into a small jar also found within. She returned to Connery's side. He accepted the syringe and injected Lucio quickly. "It's too bad he won't remember getting punched in the face," Edgea muttered. "Nhightman, Edgea. Kindly deposit him upstairs please," Connery requested. The two nodded and dragged Lucio to the elevator. Soon the doors swished shut and they were gone. "Do you have a cover story in mind should he get back down here?" Zak asked. "The scientists agreed to help us with our plant research studies. Be sure to get some plants to show him," Connery responded. "Done. We actually grow plants just for this instance," Zak replied. "Lucio's spying is getting annoying, but it will be manageable," Connery muttered.

The United Nations, New York City. The mood was tense in the UN Security Council Chamber. The diplomats assembled around the circular mediocre wooden table all looked at each other nervously. A pair of doors open and in strode the U.S. Ambassador trailed by aides. She confidently took her seat and faced down the rest of the table. "What do you intend to do about this?" the British Ambassador growled. "Nothing, and that's what I recommend this council does as well," she responded. "Seventeen countries were affected," the Secretary General ventured quietly. "We reserve the right to conduct military exercises," the U.S. Ambassador answered. "This is the nineties. We are the superpower, but aside from the dick thumping talk I could throw out there. It is in all of our interests to do nothing." "Military exercises…" the British Ambassador muttered. "Are you employing…let's see…" he trailed off looking for paperwork. "Children, Ogres, magicians…" "We do what we must," the U.S. Ambassador responded. "This is very irregular," the French Ambassador added. "There was great destruction in Marseille." "Is that near Paris?" the Bolivian Ambassador asked. "Again with the Paris. We have an entire country! It's not just the Eiffel Tower you asses!" the French Ambassador snapped. "Do not lose sight of the matter," the British Ambassador urged. "We hear many rumors." "Rumors can be invented. We don't have to but we're prepared to make it up to you in some fashion. In exchange for letting it go," the U.S. Ambassador said. "Oohh?" the British Ambassador responded. "The damage fine, but what about the kidnapped scientists?" The Ambassador from Spain asked. "Are you trying to suggest that was related to our military exercises?" the U.S. Ambassador asked. "It happened at the exact same time," the French Ambassador answered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 174 "We don't know anything about it. If you tell us what you know we can investigate," the U.S. Ambassador responded already thinking about how to orchestrate a year long "investigation." "By the way," the Ambassador to Madagascar chimed in. "I just wanted to say again how cool it is you guys let me join. Thanks so much, I mean really." "You say that every time," the Russian Ambassador muttered. "I know, I'm sorry, I just…thanks!" The Secretary General sighed and pulled out a copy of the latest issue of "Iron Man". "Another crossover? Dammit," he said and tossed it in the trash.

Elsewhere… Samuels waited in the darkened parking garage tensely, his hand gripped the handle of his Maserati. He rarely was nervous, but these meetings created great unease inside him. Another car approached proving to be the severely damaged Jaguar belonging to Chalky Burrows. The car awkwardly turned, hit a pillar, backed up, reoriented and hit the pillar again. It stopped and Burrows emerged leaving the car running. Lewiston hopped out of the passenger seat glaring at the football star. "Do you even know how to drive?!" She snapped. "I nailed it, and I'm gunna nail…" Burrows began in reply. "Cease this nonsense," Samuels interjected and approached the two. "Here," Lewiston said curtly and tossed Samuels a book bag from her right arm. Samuels tried to grab it with one hand, and realized it was quite heavy, he dropped it in surprise. "How the hell?" he said surprised at his weakness and Lewiston's strength. "Gymnast mother fucker. We're fierce," Lewiston snapped. "Still a woman," Samuels muttered under his breath. You have an agenda here. I see it. Not all men… You just got so many twitter replies you chauvinist. I'm not even on twitter! Well not you personally, but we have an intern running your account. What? I need to look now. real_jasper0: I like pie and Rammstein. Where did you find this intern? Anyway… "So did you hear Iowa is gone?" Lewiston asked. "Iowa is of no interest to us," Samuels muttered. "Yeah but it just vaporized…" she continued. "So be it, what is your progress?" Samuels said. "I talked to everyone I could," Lewiston said. "This is all the information I gathered from everyone in the school." "This is tons!" Samuels said looking through the backpacks contents.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 175 There were pages and pages of print outs still with the holes attached to either side. "I type quickly. Of course almost none of it looked useful. No one knows shit, but see for yourself." "Yeah Sagacity was all over. She even talked to people that sucked!" Burrows added. "And dare I ask what you found?" Samuels asked. "Ok so right…here's the thing…" Burrows began. "You failed didn't you?" "I…" Burrows responded and leapt from the parking garage. The other two rushed to the sidewall to find him standing upright on the pavement below. He ran hurriedly a block away and collapsed to the sidewalk in pain. "What was that about?" Lewiston wondered. "I do not understand him," Samuels responded. "Secret meetings to share information?" came a voice. The two turned hurriedly. "Yet you didn't invite me?" the origin of the voice continued. "I can gather my own information, I don't need to include you. We are part of different operations!" Samuels snapped. "It's all one operation now," Lucio responded pulling off his ball cap and flinging it at Samuels. The target quickly snatched it out of the air and flung it back. Lucio caught it and returned it to his head. "Now, you wankers, it's time to chat," he continued.

Command Center. Conrad High School "I think Ska has run it's course actually," Zak was saying. "Be serious, it's going to last a long time. It's not a fad," Connery remarked with a hint of anger from a chair further back. "That's where you're wrong, people are going to wake up someday and find that they don't want horn sections in their rock," Zak responded. "Then why are popular acts hooking up with orchestras then?" Connery challenged. Zak paused and adjusted his ascot. "We have something on the radar," Edgea interrupted. "It's annoying." "On screen," Connery commanded. A giant blimp had risen from Hartford and was banking towards the town at high speed. It was a cream shade of white covered in pink and pastel blue stripes. A giant mosaic of an ice cream cone, topped with chocolate was emblazoned on the side of it. "It's the damn ice cream blimp," Connery muttered. One of the doors opened and Nhightman entered. "The scientists are getting rowdy again...what the fuck is that?" he asked breaking off his original line of thought as he discovered what was on the screen. "Oh that's right, you weren't here for this," Connery noted. "Here comes that damn song," Edgea added. The sound boomed throughout the stratosphere stretching through three counties. It's Mister Skippy's, the Ice Cream Blimp. It's Mister Skippy's, it's here for you. It's Mister Skippy's, the Ice Cream Blimp. It's Mister Skippy's, you can't escape! "Magnify," Connery said. "It's him," Zak reported. The Ice Cream Man from earlier in this accursed novel of the damned stood in the blimp's gondola. "Mister Fucking Skippy himself," Connery snarled. "I don't understand is he delivering ice cream or…" Nhightman tried to ask. "That's just it, no he's not, he's just advertising with that accursed song, and drawing the masses out to buy the stupid ass things," Zak reported. "Should we open fire?" Edgea asked. "We can't open fire on everyone," Connery admitted.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 177 To their surprise, the blimp imploded in on itself within three seconds, it's gasbag folded and crumpled and the gondola crinkled until with a slight sparkle nothing but a small shard of metal and cloth dropped to the Earth. "Eh?" the entire cadre of miscreants said at once. Lord Plague materialized in the air above them all and floated to the ground. "Hail Plague!" the group all shouted. "What the hell happened in Iowa?" Nhightman questioned. "Look, everyone was evacuated dammit. I don't just ruin lives for no purpose…usually…but yeah the state's gone…so what? There are 49 more...and Canada for that matter if you'd just sign on to my great expedition!" Plague snarled. "You took the blimp out?" Zak asked. "I did," Plague responded. "I know I will hear about it later from his employers, but I will deal with that when it happens." He sunk into a chair. "You're concerned about an ice cream company?" Nhightman asked. "Ignorant fool, his employers are not an ice cream company," Plague snapped. "I have much to learn," Nhightman responded. "So did Addendum beat you again, or maybe Seru appeared and blasted you into a tree?" Edgea prodded. "First of all, there are no trees in Iowa anymore...secondly, no one won," Plague snarled. "Fascinating," Connery replied. "You can defeat anyone but a woman with a Stone of Rhigarr." "It has nothing to do with gender. We can rule this world without resorting to veiled sexism," Plague snapped. "Oh uh...dammit Dave stop slipping messages into the dialogue!" Connery shouted. Yo. "Lets not distract from the issue that Plague here has finally met his match, or matches I should say," Edgea posited. "Victory is not always swift," Plague snapped. "Also, I wouldn't get so bold with someone who just destroyed an entire state." "You half destroyed it, she did the rest," Edgea clarified. "You dare question my power?" "Not at all, destroying half a state is still, ya know, good on a resume," Edgea answered. "I tire of this," Plague spat and vanished. "So Nhightman, what is your view on Ska?" Zak asked. Nhightman reached from his pocket and pulled out a screwdriver sliding it menacingly through the air. "Want to keep asking?" he...asked. "Nope," Zak said. "Oh that's right your family was murdered by a Ska band," Edgea volunteered. "They were not!" Nhightman snapped.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 178 Cafeteria. At their own lunch table, Melody and Tarusia kept glancing over their shoulders while trying to focus their attention on their hobbies. Melody had a pile of sheet music spread out over her part of the plastic faux wood surface. Tarusia took up two chairs worth of space with a long sheet of white paper where she was sketching out a design filled with characters. Seru was scribbling words ferociously, but paused when she noticed the two's apprehension. "If they haven't called you down to the Principal yet you're probably fine," Seru said reassuringly. "How can we be sure?" Tarusia asked. "I guess it makes sense though, if they knew it was us, they would have come after us earlier," Melody said. "The arrival of this many guards suggests otherwise," Sebastian said unhelpfully. His words were true though as about fifteen security guards were approaching the table. "Fuck…fuck…fuck…" Tarusia muttered. Melody contemplated drawing her staff. The guards all stopped and looked the table over carefully. One turned and beckoned. To their surprise Stiegg approached. "Stiegg? They giving you something to do?" Sebastian asked mockingly. "Uh hi…in my capacity as Chief of Staff…and accompanied by these guards…I am delivering a message…" "He can't even do his own dirty work?" Sebastian prodded. "We did try to put a sleep spell on him and stab him with a bladed wand," Melody admitted. "He's gotta man up and take the stabbing if that's what's going to happen," Prim said. "No wait, that sounds incredibly stupid. I'd send a guy too, like Nei." "Of course you would," Nei muttered. Stiegg looked over them all curiously. "Uh…look…here," he said and handed a rolled up piece of parchment to Melody. "He put it on parchment?" she asked. "He loves parchment, perhaps more than the touch of a woman," Stiegg answered. The table cracked up… BWAHAHAHAAHA. How the hell did that get in there? "Looks like you missed one of our additions," Tarusia replied. Apparently so… I don't have any clue how this makes sense, but I like it. ANYWAY! Melody opened up the parchment and read the message. "It's written like a memo…what?" she exclaimed and read. To: Melody & Tarusia From: The Honorable President of the Student Council, Defender of the Realm. RE: Stuff

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 179 I spoke with Chief McGowen explaining that what occurred was a training exercise and that it was a misunderstanding regarding his guards. I'm willing to not say anything further about it if you are. Please check the box next to either OK or NO and return it to my emissary henceforth. "I'll handle this," Sebastian said reaching for it. Melody pulled it away quickly. Seru handed her the pen and she quickly filled in the OK box and handed it to Stiegg. "Uh thank you," he said. "If I may ask…uh…what are you all working on? It looks impressive." "Just a basic symphony, which if I'm lucky I can get into Carnegie Hall by the time I'm fifty," Melody answered. "This is going to be a mural someday, spread across a building in NYC. People will come see it, or not even realize they are going to see it until they come upon it and go wow, that's amazing," Tarusia said. "No comment," Seru said slowly pulling back her writing. "Those are your dreams?" Stiegg asked. The three nodded…What is going on? Is this character development? What is going on? "You have a dream Stiegg?" Melody asked. "Survive until I'm 21," he said. The table went silent. "That's uh…" Melody tried to respond but gave up. "Maybe you shouldn't hang around with the closest thing to Satan the human race has ever known then," Tarusia suggested. "And by the way…while we are on that subject…" She vaulted over the table in a fluid motion. "You know I imported comics from Japan and they got impounded because of you," she said angrily. "You owe me 140 bucks and that's just the shipping, but I'm being generous." "I uh…" "What? Do you know it had just left off on a major cliffhanger? A major super cliffhanger and now the stories are locked in some customs building because of your corn!" "I uh ok I'll get the money…" Stiegg replied. "Will you accept it in gold bars?" "What?" Tarusia asked utterly stunned. "I think I'll go now," Stiegg announced and headed out of the cafeteria followed by the guards. The table sat silently for a few seconds. "So anyway, the wrench was now stuck in the wall, and we had only ten seconds before the fire reached us…" Prim began resuming a story he had yet to start.

Main Lobby. As the guards went on their way Stiegg contemplated what to do next, both with his life and the next half hour. "Stiegg...come here..." came a less than pleasant voice. Stiegg wandered over to Lucio who was standing around a corner leaning against the artless cement work that held the building up. "What have you learned?" Lucio questioned.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 180 "Nothing," Stiegg admitted. "Nothing?" Lucio asked. "They haven't said anything about any plans in front of me since you asked me to start spying" Stiegg replied. "Bollocks," Lucio responded. "I haven't seen any planning either, but why would they hide it from you? You know they're working with plutonium, you know so much of their operations. Why change? The fact they haven't said anything in front of me either…we need to wear a wire." "A wire? Really?" Stiegg asked. "Unfortunately yes," Lucio said. "We will wear it in our encounters with them and if something happens, we will be able to hear it. Perhaps Plague is using a spell of some kind or that Primlethorpe Connery is drugging us. We'll find out." "Primlethorpe?" "It's an insult from the U.K." "No it isn't." "Never mind that, come with me quickly you Grainlantern." "Again not...a..." "Shush..." Lucio said and elbowed him in the elbow. "Dammit my elbow!" Stiegg snapped as the pain flared.

Electronics Room. Four Hours Later. "That's right. I need twenty thousand rocket launchers and ammunition for at least a thousand men. In addition I request two ATV's, a fully loaded Hummer, fifteen mortars, an armored personal carrier, fourteen thousand grenades...better make that fifteen thousand. That is not all, seventy-eight jeeps, fifteen F-16's, and a clock in the shape of a cat...Yes I'll be paying by cash," Plague said into the phone receiver. "You should notice the cash just arrived," he added. "Excellent thank you." With that said he hung up. "What are you doing?" Connery asked not diverting attention from his computer as he did. "You'll find out," Plague responded and laughed heartily. "It's not one of our shared operations. I have interest in Bolivia." "Don't we all," Connery replied. "Actually I have no interest in Bolivia right now…but soon enough. So you're relying on conventional weapons then?" "Our enemies search for patterns," Plague explained. "Changing our methods keeps them from discerning what we are doing." "Heh...having a barbecue?" Complexity asked leaning against a file cabinet blowing bubbles. "No," Plague spat and turned to Connery. "Have you found a new source of plutonium?" "Sadly not yet," Connery admitted. "This is unacceptable!" Plague shouted creating a giant hole in the floor with a Cesium tornado. He frowned and quickly repaired the damage. "Plutonium…" Complexity murmured to himself.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 181 "We will find a new source," Connery vowed. "Come look at this, come look at this. I've gotten into the Fecicorp intranet network." Stiegg wandered in. "Hey Complexity," he said. "Stieggy fresh!" Complexity shouted dumping the rest of the bubble solution on the new arrival. "Right," Stiegg muttered. "What is the status of our operation?" Plague asked ignoring the exchange. "In just this short time I've destroyed the 25% of the company's network infrastructure and 13% of their revenue," Connery reported. "Say Connery. Isn't destroying that corporation a bit illegal?" Stiegg asked. "Only if I get caught," Connery replied. The screen flickered, and a small alarm went off. "Uhhoh," Connery blurted. "Explain," Plague ordered. Connery quickly typed into the computer and stood. "Plague. Let's go pick up those umm...Milli Vanilli CDs you wanted," Connery proposed in a very rare moment of actual concern. "Uh...right," Plague agreed understanding the need for haste. The two rapidly exited. It took Complexity two minutes to realize something important. "Wait a minute. No one likes Milli Vanilli. Wait for me!" Complexity said and hurried out. "There has to be a reason why they ran out like that," Stiegg said trying to figure it out. The windows shattered as figures in fatigues swung through them. Boots pounded on the tile in the hallway. Stiegg jumped behind a table. More people ran in the door. He looked up to see they were all wearing somewhat silly silver hats. The apparent leader of the group looked down at him. "We're the Cyberpolice! You know that you're in big trouble don't you?" he barked. Stiegg froze and couldn't answer. "No, he's not..." came a voice from behind the crowd of cops. They parted to let Stiegg see that Lucio had returned…Returned from where? The bathroom. Nice of you to tell us that. Look you did it again! What are you trying to do to the readers? It's not a matter of what I'm trying to do to the readers. It's what I'm trying to do to you. So this novel is purely about your spite for me. Since page 64. Lucio pulled out a wallet and showed an ID to the leader of the cops. "Let Stiegg go. He's not the one you want," Lucio demanded. "Yes sir," the cop agreed and saluted. "You can go now," Lucio responded.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 182 "Sir? We had a report of a…" the cop tried to explain. "I am already handling this situation. Please direct any inquiries to the appropriate places!" Lucio snapped. "Yes sir," the cop replied hurriedly and the Cyberpolice headed for their hovercraft. There's a hovercraft involved? I guess, sure. "Hey thanks," Stiegg said gratefully. "You're welcome," Lucio answered. They were about to start another conversation when they heard a cry from outside. "It's Connery. Get him!" The mob of cops yelled. Connery dashed in the door. "I did not think they would improve this fast!" he shouted and leapt across a table, before flinging open a cabinet and climbing into it. The mob of police ran back in. "Connery is not here. I suggest you leave," Lucio told them bluntly with a glare. The lead cop hesitated again, but the Cyberpolice eventually left. Plague appeared moments later in a Strontium vapor. "That's strange. I thought you all would have been busted," Plague admitted. "Where's Connery?" The face of the genius appeared on one of the computers. "Thank goodness I got rid of them," Connery boasted. They all looked at him quizzically. "Where are you?" Stiegg asked. "The command center fools, the door is a secret passage. Don't try to use it, it only works for authorized personnel," Connery replied. "But what really stopped those cops?" Plague inquired. "It was Lucio. He knows these guys or something," Stiegg explained. "You okay Lucio?" "I'm fine," Lucio confirmed. "Oh and by the way, none of this ever happened," he added and departed. "Ah...there's my mistake," Connery's face relayed in realization. "There was a small detection system built into the diode link. They won't catch me again. Let the destruction continue."

Art Room. The six Seru Senshi were gathered around an art table. Wow...an art table...in an art room... "What was that commotion about?" Tarusia asked. "I'd imagine that our enemies ran afoul of the Cyberpolice for their dark deeds," Sebastian answered. "Thought the Cyberpolice were a myth," Melody said. "We don't hear about them a lot," Tarusia added. "Not because they're nonexistent, but because they are really bad at what they do," Prim explained. "Speaking of which, we really need to talk about you two and your lack of skill at assassination," Sebastian

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 183 said. "Two magicians go up against a...powerless guy...and..." "He's not powerless, he is the author. Whatever rules he's working under...he's still the author," Tarusia responded. "Still...you had a clear shot," Prim said. "We will train you ladies in the fine art of..." Sebastian began before Tarusia leveled him with a swift kick. "Our technique is fine!" Tarusia snapped. "Ah...a surprise," Sebastian said and stood up rubbing his stomach. The door opened. The six whirled ready for ambush. Instead of their mortal foes, another nefarious character arrived as Richard Samuels walked in trailed by a few sweater vested goons. "Dickie Sams, what up?" Prim called in greeting. "The name is..." "John Cen..." Nei began. "It's the nineties," Prim cut him off. "Richard Samuels!" Samuels snapped. "I seek an audience." “So does the novel. Unlikely either will succeed in getting one," Sebastian said. "What do you want?" Seru asked. "We have a mutual enemy," Samuels stated. "You're fighting with the National Association of Plumbers too?" Prim asked. "That what?" Samuels responded incredulously. "You're trying to ally yourself with us?" Seru asked. "It is a matter of temporary expedience for both of us..." "Dink..." Prim said. "Dink?" Samuels replied. "Dink," Prim answered as the bottle rolled up and exploded under Samuels and his crew. They vanished in a cloud of smoke leaving nothing behind. "An interesting interlude, but now we should return back to normal programming," Sebastian said. "They must be getting desperate," Melody observed.

Serpent's Cavern. "Unhand me you miscreants!" Samuels demanded as several armored warriors dragged him and his goons forward to the throne of grain based tabletop games that Tamrisu sat atop of. "Intruders..." she hissed. "How dare you? What is this awful place!" Samuels snapped. "If you don't cease your speaking it will be your tomb," Tamrisu replied. "Arrrrr!" most of the warriors and Dwarves who crowded around shouted. "If you wish I can take him...off your hands..." Sissiphor said from the other side of the store. "We're not giving you freebies!" Jameson snapped from nearby.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 184 "Put them in the dungeon," Tamrisu commanded. "The what?" Samuels asked in surprise. The three were roughly pulled to a doorway marked "Maintenance" and down a flight of stairs into a room lit with just a few torches. Cells lined the walls and a few men clad in dirty tunics paced back and forth. At the approach of the others they swung into action and opened a cell up. The three B.S. Members were tossed inside. "I will destroy all of you!" Samuels shouted as the door swung shut. "It is of no use," came a voice within the cell. They turned to see a man dressed in rags. His beard quite long and tattered. His hair however was well managed somehow. "Who are you?" "I'm the fucking guy in the cell that provides exposition, that's who I am!" the man shouted and drop kicked Samuels in the face. The other two men rushed him but were easily dropped with a spin kick. "I run this prison...I am the law down here," the man added. "Who the fuck are you!" Samuels shouted wiping the blood off his chin. "I am Rab Iener!" the man shouted. "Rab Iener..." "I've been down here a long time..." "Why?" "Fuck you that's why." "Give me some answers or..." "I'll kick your ass again...far enough!" Iener shouted and flung Samuels into a wall. The other two wisely held off from intervening. "Now as I was saying...I've been down here a long time, you apparently are going to endure the same fate. I would start the process of accepting it."

A Remote Warehouse Usually of No Consequence. "This is interesting…" Stiegg noted sitting down at a card table in the middle of a warehouse. "It was cheap," Lucio responded. "Let me see the tape." Stiegg handed Lucio an audio tape and Lucio deposited it in a tape player. The pair listened to the playback. To their surprise, Plague wasn't even speaking English. "This is all garbled like another language in itself," Lucio realized. "How does he do this?" "I don't know, but nothing he says makes sense, but Connery is reacting to it, as if something is happening," Stiegg noted. "They clearly did something. Must have been a spell or drugging like I suspected. The fact he is covering up his words probably figures into it as well. Sodding demon," Lucio surmised. "So now what?" "NOW WHAT?" came a shout as Complexity dropped from the ceiling and landed on the card table.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 185 "Complexity!" Lucio shouted in surprise. "What were you doing there?" "My duty!" Complexity snapped and pulled a small gardening tool from his pocket. "What's…" Lucio began before Complexity delivered a killing blow with the implement usually used to plant nice perennials. Lucio sank to the floor. "Stiegg…you didn't see anything," Complexity said calmly before kicking the subject of his demand in the face. Stiegg fell to the ground unmoving. Complexity bent down over Lucio. "Story ends now for you bucko," he hissed and walked out the door. Stiegg slowly recovered and hurried in search of a phone. He ran out of the warehouse only to find that a black sedan was rolling up and three figures in black leapt out. "The hell!?" he shouted. "Swearing is a sin!" one of them shouted and grabbed him. "Come with us my son," one of them said and dumped him in the back of the sedan. The car roared off as Lucio continued to die on the wood shaving covered floor.

Conrad High School Command Center. "Who's more likely to end up in jail first, the hooligans, or us?" Zak was saying as he leafed through a binder of some sort. "The way things are going right now, them," Zaee responded not looking up from her textbook. A set of shrill alarms went off as an absurdly sized red graphic appeared on the giant screen which read: INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER FUCKIN' ALERT. "Eh?" Zaee asked and flung the textbook to the floor so her fingers could glide across the keyboard in search of more information. "Intruders ey? It's been a while," Connery remarked lounging impressively in his chair behind them. "It's in section 8-A...one of the energy cores," Zaee noted. "Nhightman! Take a security team down there and get that intruder!" Connery commanded. Nhightman, who stood a few feet away smoking a cigarette, nodded grimly and headed through one of the stereotypical metal doors into a steel lined hallway. Another door opened and a pair of Connery's security people emerged. "Sir!" they both bellowed. "You're actually wearing red shirts?" Nhightman remarked in surprise as he ran down the hall and they followed. "This is more orange than red," one replied. "Definitely orange! The color spectrum provides all sorts of opportunities," the other said. "It looks red," Nhightman persisted. "Assure you it's not," the first said. "Definitely. I'm a graphic designer, it's not," the second stated. "Graphic designer? What the hell are you doing here?" Nhightman asked. "Usually...graphic design...but ya know, guards gunna guard," he replied. "What are your names?" Nhightman asked not breaking stride. "Bellows McTubes," the first revealed. "Bullshit," Nhightman spat. "No, really," the first responded strenuously. "I'm Leon Fist," the second volunteered. "You two are either trolls or you lead horrific lives," Nhightman responded. "As opposed to your lovely existence?" Fist countered. "Yeah! Don't judge asshole. Of the three of us you're the most likely to end up face down in a puddle of undetermined liquid!" McTubes added. Nhightman stopped abruptly. The other two slid to a stop as well.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 187 "How are you having those dreams too?" he asked. "Dreams?" the two Orange Shirts answered. "No, never mind...let's go," Nhightman said and resumed his running.

Back Up In The Main Control Room. "Well, we've been condemned by the United Nations," Dave remarked walking into the room with a light blue packet of papers under his right arm. "Excellent!" Connery reacted. "Excellent?" Zak asked. "Yes Zak, because it means we're in the clear," Connery explained. "They had to do something, but thanks to our temporary allies within the government, we have been able to prevent anything tangible. Our grand work can continue unimpeded!" The doors slid open again and Complexity entered with the bloody trowel in his hand. "What's that about?" Edgea asked. "Lucio. He won't have to worry about cooking any more Thanksgiving turkeys anymore," Complexity said. "You fool! We need him alive!" Connery snapped. "What happened?" "Stabbed him with this...thought that was obvious?"Complexity responded holding up the trowel and spinning on one leg. "Is he dead for sure?" Connery asked. "Probably not yet, but soon," Complexity surmised. "We need to recover him! We can handle him. If he dies they'll send someone, or send ten people for all we know! Then we'll have to figure out who they are and things get more complicated. Take us to him!" "Well ok but..." Complexity started to answer. "Here's your fucking intruder," Nhightman said tossing Vic onto the floor as he and the orange shirts returned. "What? We have to go! Figure out what the hell was going on," Connery said and he headed for the elevator followed by Complexity and Dave. Edgea vaulted over a console with her scimitar in hand. "I'm coming with you," she said. "Marvel as Dave tries to correct the gender imbalance of the main cast in midstream," Connery said snidely. "I'm right here," Dave muttered leafing through the U.N. sanctions. "When has that ever stopped me?" Connery responded. "Butthead." "Butthead?" Dave asked in surprise. "I know that doesn't seem very creative, but it's the image you evoke," Connery said. "A lot of ladies like butt so it might work out for you," Edgea noted. "Usenet ey, hah! It's like Wikipedia for...the...happening of skin," Complexity said. "What the fuck is Wikipedia?" Connery asked. "I don't...know..." Complexity realized. "56K mother fuckers." "Enough of this! To the vehicles!" Connery directed.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 188 The small group departed through one of the many exits with a clang of metal doors signaling their departure. "That was exciting," Vic said from his position on the floor. "Who sent you!" Nhightman shouted kicking Vic across the room. "No one! I just like climbing into things!" Vic shouted back. "Maybe you shouldn't beat him this early in the interrogation," Zaee suggested. "Vic what were you doing in the core?" She asked approaching him. "I just like climbing around things, I do it all the time. Does it hurt anything?" Vic asked. "How often? This is the first time the alarms went off," Zaee asked. "I guess I took a wrong turn," Vic said. "Stay out of the damn restricted areas!" Nhightman shouted. "Guards put him in the strobe dome for ten minutes just for good measure. You will learn..." "As you command! Asshole," the orange shirts cried. "Not the strobe dome!" Vic shouted as he was lead off. "Enjoy the miracle of light pain," Nhightman snapped and sank into a chair. "You seem to be more of a tool right now than usual, something up?" Zaee asked. "Bad dreams," Nhightman admitted. "Are they the naked in a high school ones?" Zak asked. "No." "I have those a lot." "Zak, those naked dreams you describe actually happened," Zaee muttered. "Why do you think you're down here all the time?" "Oh," Zak said. "Did I pass that test I didn't study for then?" "You did not," Zaee reminded him. "I've got to get to Serpent's Cavern," Nhightman realized bolting back up. "Have then strobe him for awhile then let him out." "I'm in command here," Zak responded. "Technically none of us are in command, we just hang," Zaee countered. "Well then I suggest you strobe him, kick him in the knees for all I care," Nhightman said and jumped into an elevator.

Elsewhere. After a relatively brief drive, Stiegg was pulled from the car by the black clad men who had abducted him. He didn't recognize where he was, but could see a large stone wall lined with ivy and ferns. The men carried him roughly through a wooden door that sat conveniently in a door shaped outcropping of the wall. The opening of the door revealed an immaculate garden of beyond. The melodic voices of a choir could be heard echoing out of the stone structure attached to the garden. Stiegg perceived it was either a church or a fake church of some kind. The garden had perhaps dozens of varieties of flowers from roses to daisies, to two pompous looking tulips. Standing in the middle of the array of plants was a man in crimson holding a dove. He turned at Stiegg's approach. "Ah, Stiegg, welcome," he greeted.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 189 "Who are you?" Stiegg asked. "He's the damn Cardinal you idiot," one of the others said. "Forgive me Cardinal.” "You are forgiven," The Cardinal said. "The system works." "Cardinal? Here? Where am I? There's no Cardinal in Connecticut!" Stiegg cried. "Of course there is. We would be foolish to reveal our true strength," The Cardinal said. "Fathers you may go. Just keep an eye on the doors in case our guest decides to flee unexpectedly," The Cardinal requested. Stiegg at this point finally realized that the black clad men with white colors and crosses on their collars were likely priests rather than mafia undertakers. "I do apologize for the manner in which you were brought here, but frankly most people don't usually come when I send them letters," The Cardinal said. "Perhaps it's the numerous sca..." Stiegg began. "Silence!" The Cardinal bellowed causing the dove to fly off. "Sister Margarenette tells me you have committing crimes to help try to save her orphanage. She just learned of this and is aghast." "I was hoping she wouldn't figure it out," Stiegg said. "You can't hide anything from the Lord," The Cardinal said. Stiegg laughed earning a glare from The Cardinal. "You have yourself multiple problems," the church leader continued. "First of all you need to atone for your sins, or else the Sister will have you transferred to Saint Hephaestus Academy..." "Wait..." Stiegg responded. "Since when can I just be transferred to a catholic sounding school that actually has a Greek god dropped into the name?!" "Ignoring most of what you just said...we have great power and influence," The Cardinal said. "Secondly, you still have to find a way to save the orphanage that doesn't involve sinning!" The dove swept in from the sky and started pecking Stiegg's head. "What!" Stiegg snapped waving the dove away. "We can help with both, but you have to do something for us first," The Cardinal continued. "We want you to report back to us everything that has been going on at the accursed secular school of yours." "I was already trying to do that, but they have found a way to hide stuff," Stiegg said. "The last person to ask me to do it got stabbed with a gardening implement!" "I am very adept with gardening implements. I do not fear them," The Cardinal said picking up a scythe from the wall and sliding it over a group of flowers viciously. "That was gratuitous," Stiegg noted. "You will do as I say," The Cardinal demanded. "In the meantime we will keep the orphanage open. When we are satisfied with your work we will grant you confession and give you your chance to save it for good. The alternative is an eternity in Hell." "Plague says Hell isn't that bad," Stiegg said. "How would he know? Has he been!" The Cardinal shouted. "I'm fairly sure he has." "Lucifier would parlay with such a demon," The Cardinal said and spat, before immediately praying for forgiveness. "You will do this."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 190 "I'm telling you," Stiegg weakly replied. "I'm not unwilling despite the fact you're kind of an ass, but I'm ineffective." "You will try anyway," The Cardinal ordered sharpening his glare. "Fine whatever," Stiegg said. The Cardinal snapped his fingers and priests emerged from various alcoves in the church structure. "Return him to that haven of sacrilege," he directed. The priests grabbed Stiegg and carried him away as The Cardinal turned back to his flowers. "This is my best plan ever," he remarked to himself.

Serpent's Cavern. Nhightman rushed in the door on the Seru friendly side of the building and found the six Seru Senshi arranged around a gaming table. "You're late," Sebastian responded thrusting a character sheet into his hand. Nhightman quickly grabbed the necessity for the game they were to play. "I got held up at the..." Nhightman began. "Subterranean evil command post?" Prim queried. "Laundromat," Nhightman lied. "Subterranean evil laundromat?" Nei asked. The others gave him a glance. "It sounded like something Prim would say that was funny..." Nei responded weakly. "Yet I neither said it, nor was it funny," Prim answered. Melody looked over the table, gingerly lifted a 20 sided die and rolled it on to the table. "Wait…what are you doing?" Tarusia asked in surprise. "16," Melody reported. "The pencils are warming up." "WHAT THE FUCK!?" the other six players shouted in a sweet chorus of vulgarity. Melody blinked slightly. "Hey, you want to be surprised right? Especially after you hated the bear adventure. You want things to be different, than deal," Melody asserted. "I'd suggest finishing. Saving throws to prevent damage start in two minutes," she added. The six swiftly started writing things down faster on their character sheets. "Dammit dammit dammit," Nei stammered in a panic trying quickly to roll for his attributes as quickly as he could. "You know it takes me awhile to settle on a character class," Seru growled. "Seru, this is your fault, if you hadn't gone and…" Sebastian sneered. "Silence!" Seru bellowed. "Probably better to finish up rather than arguing," Melody suggested. Five of them finished but Nhightman watched in shock as his pencil flew off the table as he tried to scrawl

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 191 down a 9. "Another pencil, hurry!" he demanded. "Oh no, we don't know what we might need these pencils for," Sebastian responded. Nhightman hurried to the other side of the table and snatched his pencil up. "You need to roll 3D6," Melody said. "It's burning your hand." Nhightman quickly did so and rolled an 18. "Are you serious?" he snapped. "Better finish, the heat is increasing," she said. He hurriedly tried to finish it up. "Done done done done, fucking done," he answered and dropped the pencil. "The searing pencil drops to the floor and sets the rug aflame at your feet," Melody reported. "WHAT?" Nhightman shouted. "Your legs are on fire. You need to roll to see if you put the fire out," Melody said. Sebastian, Prim, and Nei began cackling. "My view of this game is turning around quickly," Sebastian admitted. "Crap on a log!" Nhightman spat and rolled. "12. The flames envelop you and your dead," Melody said. "You really should have tossed the pencil farther away." "BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!" exclaimed Sebastian, Prim, and Nei with magnificent laughter. Seru held her own glee back and tightened her mouth to hold off any expression of joy. Tarusia chuckled slightly but also was worried about the next thing to go horribly wrong, which dampened her elation. Nhightman sighed, crumpled up his character sheet and searched for another game at one of the other tables. "All right, you all ready?" Melody asked. The others nodded. They spent some time "in town" equipping and then ventured on their way. "You head down a narrow path along a ravine, I'm afraid you'll have to roll for balance checks just once," she explained. "The only way to fall is to roll doubles twice." The five rolled, only Nei came up with doubles. "Double fours," Melody noted. "You're slipping towards the edge, but you reach out to grab the ledge. Roll please." Nei did and watched as snake eyes appeared. "You tumble to your death wailing as you think of all the unfinished pottery projects you have left in your cabin," Melody announced. "If only that time had been spent practicing to step gingerly." "My fake life was a waste. Hopefully I won't go to fake hell for my sins," Nei said. "Roll," Sebastian urged. "There's no need for him to roll," Seru disagreed. "No no, I will," Nei said and did so. Melody looked at the roll.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 192 "You just made it into fake life heaven, though, I'm leaving it at that. Imagine your own deity or deities," Melody said. "I think the closest thing to a god I know is the announcer from Dance Dance Insurrection," Nei responded. Melody was at a loss upon hearing that. She tried to form words. "Never mind all this, the living characters are what matters...not you dead filth! Lets get to the ravine bottom," Sebastian demanded. The others shrugged. "You reach the ravine bottom and find a large forest…of knives," Melody told them. "NICE!" Seru exclaimed. "But hey that's my thing!" "I thought you'd…like it anyway…?" Melody responded now unsure at her course of action. "It's fine it's fine," Seru said glad to be away from the Cave of Bears for once. "You are walking along a path, when suddenly a tree full of knives crashes towards you." "Lets evade, just to make things interesting," Prim said cracking a sarcastic smile. The four remaining players rolled the dice. "Oh hey we all managed to not die on this roll," Sebastian noted. "The tree falls harmlessly in front of you but the source of the tree's collapse is walking into your path," Melody explained. "It better not be a fucking bear," Tarusia snapped. "It is not," Melody responded. "It's a human giant, rising about twenty feet tall. It has emerged from concealment holding an ax whose double blade is larger than Sebastian and sharp enough to cut through diamond." "This is the first thing we find?" Tarusia muttered. "No no, I like a good challenge," Seru said. "Sebastian, you distract it while we sweep around." "Oh I see, so Nei and Nhightman are dead so I become the designated target? Forget that!" "I attempt to pick up and throw Sebastian at the giant," Prim announced and rolled. "Attempt succeeds," Melody said. "Sebastian sails at the giant, and slams into his chest, bouncing off and hitting the ground hard below. The giant's attention turns entirely to the pompous ass." "I'm going to cast fire while aiming for its eyes," Tarusia quickly said and rolled. "Prim, fling me at it if she succeeds," Seru suggested. "Tarusia succeeds. The flame shoots right into its retina singeing it and causing it to run around in agony." Prim rolled. "The throw succeeded. Seru flies at the giant." "I'm hoping to swing my sword and knock it backwards with the force of the impact too," Seru declared. "Ok ok," Melody said quickly and looked at a sheet of paper. "Let's see...that's going to require a 2D6, 1D4, and a 1D20." Seru rolled. Melody looked at the result. "I'm going to need to graph this out," she admitted. Three minutes later she reached her conclusion. "Seru spins towards the giant and delivers a blow though not a full on blow as it is deflected slightly by the

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 193 giant flailing as it reacts to the intense pain. The sword will do 1D12 of damage, but that may prove irrelevant as the force of impact does indeed knock it backward right onto a tree of knives…which if we could actually see it happen...it would probably make us throw up." "Maybe you," Prim responded. "I only throw up when I eat Sebastian's cooking." "You threw up…because I wished for you to throw up!" Sebastian snapped. "The giant is very dead," Melody explained and distributed experience points and the like. Seru brightened as she finally was getting over her banishment from the DM's chair. As Seru's game was underway, Plague was deep in discussion with Grudolf the Grey in another section of the store. "You know the location of the fifth Stone of Rhigarr?" he asked. "Indeed I do," Grudolf answered. "It is a legend passed down to me, and you'll listen to the whole story or I won't tell you where you can find the Stone of Ahab." "Very well," Plague agreed "Back in the times of old, in an era of men before this one...the gilded times as we called them...there lived a man named Chang," Grudolf relayed. "He came from the land of the green hills and sparkling seas. It is said that he did battle with the dark lord of evil himself, Ling. Ling lived beyond the mystic mansion along the banks of the river of yellow. It was an epic battle, and Ling was slain. His stone of power fell into the river and drifted southward, where it was recovered and enshrined by the people of the valley." "Yellow River Valley got it," Plague said. "No no, there's more to the story!" "Unless it's the specific location of this stone I'm done." "But you need more mood setting background!" Grudolf implored. "There is no time for that! Jameson! Tamrisu! With me!" "Eh?" Jameson muttered. "What is this madness?" Tamrisu inquired wandering up with no particular alacrity. "No questions, let's go!" and the three disappeared in a cloud of Livermorium. "Kids..." Grudolf muttered. "I have to go anyway, Chaz is waiting." With that the great wizard headed out the door of the store, got onto his 10 speed bike and pedaled off. "Where the hell did Plague and the wonder twins just go?" Tarusia asked from thirty feet away. "What?" Seru asked growing concerned. "You didn't see them vanish?" her friend queried. "I was rolling," Seru answered. Sirens grew in intensity from the distance and were clearly growing closer. "What could that be about?" Melody wondered. "The Sheriff finally going to shut this place down?" Prim asked. "The siren type matches that of Conrad High Security not the Sheriff," Nei pointed out. "True," Sebastian agreed. "What could they want?" Tarusia muttered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 194 "We have guests at the main gate!" one of the warriors shouted. "Main gate...it's a goddamn mediocre glass door with stickers on it," Prim noted. Everyone could see out the windows that about a dozen Conrad High security vehicles had pulled into the small lot. Sandwiched between them was the small hatchback emblazoned with a peeling Conrad High Student Council seal, as well as Connery's snazzy car freed from the impound yard, and also the Vauxmobile. The moroncade...OW! Dave just hit me with Volume C of an encyclopedia! Well what else are we going to use encyclopedia's for now? I wouldn't wish knowing you on my worst enemy. I thought I was your worst enemy... Eh. A detachment of Conrad High security guards emerged to form a perimeter. Dave, Connery, and Edgea got out of the vehicles as Vaux and Complexity dragged a limp Lucio out of the back of the Vauxmobile. The guards flanked them as they entered. "Oh good grief, it's the dillhole brigade," Tarusia said. "Where is Tamrisu?" Connery asked the various warriors on the other side of the store. "Tamrisu is away," a sleazy figure in black silk robes said sliding up. "In her absence, I am the Viceroy. I rule here." "Your name is Stan and you are a LARPer with no real authority here," Connery responded. "We require a healer!" "No one here is a healer," Argron volunteered. "Half of them were experimenting with a new cure spell and well...it exploded...so they're kinda healing themselves you might say...the rest are at dinner, and Grudolf left to go bike with Chaz." "Hmm..." Connery said. "Conventional medicine won't save him...come with me..." Connery led the group towards the Seru Senshi's table. Instinctively the various allies of Seru on their side tensed. "I come in peace," Connery said and started to laugh. "That sounds ridiculous when I say it." "What business do you have here you diabolical fraud?" Sebastian asked. "I'm here to bargain," Connery said with a half grin as Vaux and Complexity dropped Lucio onto the far end of an unused gaming table. "Keep in mind you guys kind of owe me one for not pressing charges," Dave added. "Really? Because I think you all owe us far more for putting us into this awful novel?" Tarusia quickly responded slowly pulling her bladed wand from its sheath beneath her cloak. "That is admittedly a good point," Dave said. "Yeah it is asshole," one of Tamrisu's warriors snarled. Every single being in the store gave Dave the finger. "I'm glad I bring everyone together on something," Dave responded and left out a side door trailed by the guards. Much of the motorcade soon left in a cacophony of howling. "Name your price to revive Lucio," Connery said. "Why? So he can just fight us again?" Prim snapped.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 195 "That is a danger," Connery said. "Though our interests are colliding, we share enemies too and there may come a time when we'll need each other, assuming we don't obliterate each other first." Seru mulled over what Connery was saying. "We can offer you Vaux! He will entertain you!" Edgea cried. Vaux ripped off his overcoat to reveal black suspenders and a striped shirt. "I'm a MIME!" he shouted. "How could we resist such an offer?" Seru muttered. "Tell us what Plague is up to," she added. Connery grinned. "Argron!" Connery said. The warrior walked up. The two conversed in whispers and Connery returned. "Plague, Jameson, and Tamrisu are going to China to find one of the Stones of Rhigarr," the scientist stated. "Get her the exact location." "Is Plague going to like that you're giving away his plans?" Edgea asked. "Plague will understand...eventually, that things are not as simple as he wishes they were," Connery responded. "To save Lucio he will understand." "Wow, Lucio getting to actually be important," Complexity said. "Maybe you'll be important someday too Vaux." "I'm trapped inside a glass room," Vaux responded. "Fine, we gotta get going then. Melody, please heal him," Seru said. "Uh...you sure?" Melody asked. Seru nodded slowly. Melody quickly readied her wand and cast a healing spell surrounding Lucio with light. "He also has a mole on his back he'd probably want gone if you want to do anything about that," Complexity said. "Pass," Melody said and the light dimmed. Lucio slowly rose from the table, tried to stand, and because he was on a table and not the ground, promptly fell onto the floor causing everyone present to laugh vigorously. "That was kinda worth it just for that," Tarusia said. "We've gotta go," Seru urged. "But if I teleport us, I'll have no energy at all," Melody pointed out. Strika Addendum appeared in a cloud of...something...but jackass forgot to tell me what. "I need your help! Plague's gone to China, we need to follow him," Strika implored. "You couldn't have been five minutes earlier!" Tarusia shouted. "What?" Strika asked in confusion. "We just traded for that information! We revived a piece of shi-" "Never mind that now, we need to go!" Seru exclaimed. "I can take two of you with my power," Strika said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 196 "Take Melody in case you need to get healed," Tarusia said. "You sure?" Melody asked. "No, but..." Tarusia said. "Let's go to China!" Strika said and she, Seru, and Melody disappeared in a giant crackling cloud. Everyone else remaining...the warriors, their gamer allies, Connery and his ilk, Tarusia and the Senshi, their various friends from Realm of Comics, and Sissiphor and some ogres...all looked over the store cautiously...then the inevitable melee began.

Streets of Conrad. The motorcadinal procession...I don't think that's a damn word. Hold on I spilled some soup. What? Just go with it I have to clean this up. The motorcade of the damned rounded a corner and started approaching the high school area. "Not a great reception for you at the store ey?" the guard driving the small Vice Presidential hatchback said. "Typical. Better to be feared than loved," Dave responded. "Are you feared?" "Not as such no." "Yet you created the universe?" "It's not that simple." "I just don't get why you don't just make people like you." "You can't just make people like you...you have to earn it..." Dave responded looking out the window thoughtfully. "The hell?" the guard exclaimed as the motorcade entered the parking lot. It was filled with security vehicles. The train of cars stopped and the security forces all started hurrying out. "What happened?" one guard asked of another. "Damn Lydar Faction! Ya know those environmentalists who are so extreme the other extreme environmentalists think they're nuts?" the other guard replied. "Yeah," his conversational partner answered. "They chained themselves to a podium in the auditorium, demanding, the school stop using wood for things." Dave meanwhile took the opportunity to get to the command center while this situation was unfolding.

Conrad High School Lobby. Acting Principal Curtiss pushed through the doors of the lobby. "I was meeting with the Superintendent when I got this call. What is the situation?" she demanded to know hurriedly. "Nothing's changed since we called," McGowen said. "Sir, also we believe the Sheriff is on his way. These jerks apparently released a statement to the media," another guard said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 198 McGowen looked at him. "Then…prepare…" he said gradually. "For things….to…suck…" About two minutes later the Sheriff and his deputies pulled up outside the school. Sheriff Hill jumped from his car and pulled out a megaphone. "Ok you damn hippies! This is the Sheriff. Come on out!" He put the megaphone down. "Get the tear gas!" he shouted. "Sheriff would you mind?" Chief McGowen said jogging up. "The situation is inside, tear gas is not necessary." "Listen you local yupper! I know how to do law enforcing. I've been doing it for thirty years," the Sheriff growled. "I've been doing it for thirty five if you count the military, and anyone who doesn't think I knocked heads in the military needs their head knocked," McGowen responded and pounded his hand into his fist. "Look Military Hat, I'm the duly elected Sheriff in this here county and I'll do things my way," Hill declared. "I'm going to go inside with the rest of my men and keep an eye on the situation in there, if you don't mind," McGowen snarled and headed in the door. "All right boys tear down the wall!" the Sheriff said. Seconds later his deputies pulled down the flimsy auditorium wall revealing the scene inside. "You country baked yokel!" McGowen shouted. "Bring it on you underachiever!" the Sheriff howled in reply. "Chief McGowen isn't there anything you can do to get them out of there?" Curtiss asked. "Plenty of things, most of them violent," McGowen answered. "But the State Oversight Board has been watching us fairly closely lately, and I don't particularly want to get them more interested in us." "We just need to nip them in the ass," the Sheriff said storming up. "How do we do that?" the ActPrince asked. "I hit them in the head one by one," Hill spelled out. "I can't let you do that on school property," McGowen said. "Have you thought of negotiating with them?" Curtiss questioned. "Negotiate with them? Are you serious?" McGowen and Hill responded simultaneously with equal disgust. "I hate to do it, but maybe they'll leave the podium if we give them something else," Curtiss theorized "How about we give 'em a few hours to give up before we storm 'em?" the Sheriff suggested. "After all if they refuse then it's their fault, I like it," McGowen said. "Your country bumpkin form of law enforcement may be useful sometimes, though somehow I think it will only be when storming something is the only answer." "We'll see rent-a-cop," the Sheriff said. "All right that's it!" McGowen shouted lunging at the Sheriff. Hill blocked the attack but the two were soon rolling on the floor trying to strangle each other.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 199 "Uh...shouldn't we do something?" Curtiss asked urgently. "Nope," the Security Guards and Deputies answered.

China, Yellow River Valley. The scene was a relatively barren field on the edge of the Yellow River. Occasional patches of grass popped up from the dirt, but other than that not much of the surrounding area was too exciting. A small wooden house sat back from the river. Plague, Jameson, and Tamrisu appeared in a puff and surveyed the scene. "Excellent, we're here. Now based on Grudolf's description, the Stone of Rhigarr should be close," Plague bellowed. "With it I will be the most powerful being in Conrad." "Can't wait," Jameson replied with a tinge of snark. The three noticed a small wooden house situated a few feet back from the river bank. The trio approached the dwelling. Jameson walked forward and banged on the door with the hilt of his sword. After the customary dramatic pause, the door parted and the boys found a tall white man in a white undershirt looking back at them. "Yo," he said. "The fuck are you?" Tamrisu snapped. "You are...Americans?" the guy asked. "That much is obvious," Plague responded. "You are...here…for the stone?" the guy asked cautiously. "Yes. Do you intend to resist?" Plague boomed. "No no, it's about time somebody came to get it. It's pretty annoying, having this stone for hundreds of years and no one coming by. It's right here. I'll go inside and get it," the guy responded pleasantly and headed slowly back to the house. "Uh…thank you," Plague said. "This is going well," Jameson remarked. The sky flickered purple and pink as droplets of glowing bright violet mist rocketed in all directions. "Eh?" the three responded and whirled. "Insolence..." Plague snapped as three female figures shimmered into view several feet away. "Oh my…are you going to fight a battle?" the guy asked as he exited the house again. "Yes a very big one," Plague admitted. "Ok, well I'll just be over there with the stone and you guys have fun. It should keep me from getting hurt. It's been awhile since I've seen a good fight," the strange Caucasian explained and sat on the stoop clutching the Stone of Ahab. "It's time to end this," Strika declared. "I will get that stone!" "You are deluding yourself! Prepare for your imminent banishment from the living world!" Plague roared. Seru and Melody meanwhile sized up Jameson and Tamrisu who were preparing themselves. "At least you're getting your exercise Tamrisu," Jameson said. "I don't want to hear it," Tamrisu growled. "Um…if you two fight aren't we all going to die?" Jameson asked Plague and Strika.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 200 "Oh fine we'll fight in the air then," Plague muttered. "Sure," Strika agreed with a laugh. The two demi-gods soared upward flinging attacks at each other. Tamrisu flicked two fingers sending glowing energy daggers at her enemies, Melody slid in front of Seru and popped a magic shield up quickly. The daggers thunked off harmlessly and vanished. Jameson vaulted forward at Melody, but it was Seru's turn to defend spinning in front of her friend and deflecting the enemy's sword away with a clang. The two pairs of combatants backed away from each other carefully. Plague launched a volcanic burst from his palms spewing a cone of flame and lava outward across the air. Strika countered it with a massive pink globe which she then let fly at her rival. It knocked the lava aside and continued on towards him. A black lance coalesced into Plague's fist and he stabbed the globe causing its destruction. Strika dived down and came up under him hurling magenta jagged spikes. He met each spike with a cluster of lightning bolts dispatched from his fingers. Strika kept coming, and with fists of bursting with power she attempted to just connect a punch to his face. He responded with a similar approach. On the ground Jameson and Seru were running along opposite each other looking for an opportunity. "Watch out!" Melody cried drawing their attention. A giant yellow bear rumbled at them, causing both to lunge to other positions. The bear barreled past them and tackled the silver dragon Tamrisu had deployed. Unlike the last time the two energy creatures kept their form and battled as their creators strained to keep the power together. A jar sailed across the battlefield, catching Seru momentarily by surprise. She managed a quick beam attack shattering the jar. A portal harmlessly formed in the air above the battlefield. The two creatures faded as the strain of the battle finally caught up to the two mages. Each hesitated and tried to catch their breath. Jameson stormed across the dirt shedding his stylish though somewhat cumbersome jacket as he did so. Seru charged her sword up and awaited him. As he grew closer she tensed, only to be surprised again as he threw yet another portal from his pocket and tossed it at the weakened Melody. "Shit!" Seru cried and blasted the portal to pieces. Jameson pounced on the chance and took off swinging his sword in an upward motion. Seru urgently deflected it, but it skimmed her arm all the same. She whirled back as the pain burned, but Jameson didn't give her any break as he parried further. Each attack nearly landed and she finally took a risk and dived under him smacking the hilt of her sword against his knee. As an unintended bonus the sword blade awkwardly hit his other leg as well. He let out a yelp and dropped, lashing out with the special weapon as he fell. Seru stepped back effectively, even though she felt the blade slip past her narrowly. Four strands of hair drifted towards the ground. "Oh fuck," Jameson said, realizing based on the amount of anime he'd watched that he had likely done more harm than good. Seru quickly snatched the strands with her hand and glared at him. Her sword wand glowed red. The swordsman rolled backwards and stood even as the pain shot through both his lower appendages. "I'm not superficial; I don't care how I look," Seru said bluntly. "However, no one gets to touch my hair without permission. I am opposed to involuntarily haircuts of all kinds...for all peoples." Jameson sighed. "He's going to die now," Tamrisu surmised before whirling to block the harmonic rings Melody had sent flying at her during his second of distraction. "Damn they aren't stealthy," Melody muttered rising again to a full standing position. "I grow so weary…of everything," Tamrisu admitted. "I wish you would all just go…or die…or at least go." "It's not going to happen," Melody assured her.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 201 "You are all very perturbing," Tamrisu responded as multiple primary colored lights swirled around her. Melody powered up her staff awaiting their next likely meaningless round. Jameson meanwhile was trying to decide whether fleeing was an option or whether he had to run into the mouth of danger. Seru's sword wand was sparkling red and now orange and the crystal was pulsating. Little bursts of power were drifting off and flying in odd directions. The swordsman sighed, contemplated whether his life had had any meaning, and charged at Seru. In the skies above, Strika and Plague each had dispatched attacks about the size of a city block at each other. The massive expulsions of power crashed together and detonated filling the skies with a quasi-pink and black hue and detonating clouds for miles.. "You won't beat me ever!" Strika shouted. "It won't take me very long to prove otherwise!" Plague roared back. Lightning crackled in the darkened skies as both drew in even more power. Typhoon force winds buttressed them in their aerial arena. "I'll destroy this entire area to kill you!" Strika yelled as the thrill of battle started to overcome her restraint. "You'll have to destroy more than geography," Plague hissed. "Far more!" The wind continued to pick up, the lightning intensified. Snow and rain began to fall beside each other, though the snow flakes were not beautiful and instead the stuff of a modern artist's nightmares...or dreams actually...some of those artists are really really odd. "I will rip the stratosphere apart to see you bleed," Strika vowed. "You may see me bleed, but I will see you die!" Plague answered. Jameson's suicidal charge had been productive in one sense in that Seru could no longer build her power. In another sense though he paid for it dearly when the sword wand glided at him. The fiery energy slashed across him and his sword though in an uneven pattern. He was propelled at high speed back the way he came and slammed into a relatively beautiful looking bush that was forever ruined. He rolled weakly out of the plant life to learn to his horror that his sword had melted. He lay on the ground struggling to rise. Seru, fighting off the exhaustion of so much power being used, slowly advanced still wondering how the Stone of Orgel had been activated in such a way. "If she had hit me dead on I'd likely be...well dead," Jameson muttered to himself. "Get...up..." he willed himself and rolled to try to stand. The two demi-gods continued to float high above the chicanery below. "Why do you waste your time? You may get close, but in the end you shall die," Plague said. "I am the supreme master of the mortal realm." "You're just jealous because I'm prettier than you," Strika jeered. "I don't even know what that's supposed to mean!" "Oh my," Strika said glancing downward. "Armageddon Phalanx!" Tamrisu shouted. "Radiant Tapestry!" Melody cried. The two had produced giant colorful walls that slid across the battlefield. The walls rose 5 stories tall and were as wide as fifteen Sydney Opera Houses…what a strange reference…anyway…the attacks were both far more volatile than previous ones, as the incendiary energy looked as if it was trying to escape the boundaries of the wall and just go wild. The silver and yellow barriers met between the pair and ignited sending a shockwave in all directions. Melody and Tamrisu were both hit hard and knocked to the beautiful Chinese sod. Seru noted the oncoming wave and hurriedly whirled her sword wand up. The crystal reacted and a small shield materialized in

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 202 front of her blunting most of the wave. Jameson flattened himself against the dirt and winced as the wave narrowly missed him. "This was almost inevitable," Melody muttered weakly fighting to stay conscious. Tamrisu, always in a constant battle to remain awake, was unable to win this time. A horrific boom drew Seru and Jameson's attention away from their current conflict. The air was filled with explosions. In addition to the weather chaos that had already been initiated, the snow that fell was now catching fire as it touched the ground. The frequency of the lightning grew and saturated the sky with electricity. "Jameson," Seru said directly. "How about we get the hell out of here and settle this some other time?" Jameson hesitated. "Yeah all right," he said. Seru rushed to Melody's side. Her friend was trying to stand with little success. Seru started to help pull her up. "Come on, it's time to go," Seru urged. "Five more minutes," Melody responded weakly. Jameson had since reached Tamrisu and was kicking her gently. "Get up!" Jameson demanded "Nmmmumm," Tamrisu murmured "Get up! Everything's going explode!" Jameson shouted. "Oh...good idea," Tamrisu groaned. They reached the decision to run too late as the ground cracked and a massive mountain of earth rose into the air, the lightning crackled all around them as the four scurried to safety. The white guy, still clutching the stone, was knocked off balance as the mountain formed below him; the stone fell from his hands into a massive chasm that formed within the mountain. He fell to the ground and rolled down the mountain, arriving safely at the bottom. Lava shot up from the newly formed volcano and enveloped the stone inside the chasm. Plague and Strika both stared down in shock. "The stone!" they shouted predictably as their energies reached critical mass. It was fortunate they both became distracted however as their energy output dropped slightly before it discharged flinging them both several miles from where they had hovered. The people on the ground were enveloped and thrown in every direction. The volcano itself exploded at the point and sank into a lava filled pit in the ground. The skies began to clear.

Serpent's Cavern. Back at Serpent's Cavern the fungus was hitting the fan. The store was being torn apart by the warring sides as warriors and mages fought off the dark forces and their Goblin allies. Complexity and Nei were grappling with each other and had knocked over several shelves of videos seconds before they collectively smashed through some of the store's front windows. Tarusia was hurriedly trying to figure out what to do. "I don't want to hurt you but it's my duty!" Vaux shouted leaping off a gaming table at her. She ducked and watched as he flew into a rack of comic books and fell to the ground unconscious. "Idiot…" she muttered. Prim knocked aside a knight and grinned. His arm cannons were fairly useless in a melee setting so he resorted to using high impact metal fists which were quite damaging. He delivered an uppercut to a passing ranger and laughed.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 203 "Look out Prim!" Tarusia shouted. Prim whirled but too late as he was slammed into by an artillery shell about the size of his stomach. He was flung against the wall and stood up weakly. Lucio appeared in the broken window holding a cannon that just shouldn't be portable, but nonetheless was. "Surplus weaponry is readily available for me," He boasted. "Uh...right..." Prim said bolting up and firing off small missiles towards the parking lot. Lucio dived out of the way. "Tell you what? Why don't we just step outside and do this!" Prim shouted rumbling out the door. Lucio pulled himself up and backed away defensively. "Bring it," Lucio taunted. Nearby Complexity and Nei were now sparing on top of some cars. "I've always been waiting for the chance to slam someone into a car!" Complexity howled. "You're going to have to keep waiting!" Nei shouted lunging. Complexity punched him and followed it by flinging him onto roof of a Plymouth Sundance. "Not good with the trash talk are ya bucko?" Complexity asked snidely. Nei rolled off the car and into a fighting stance. "Now you've made me mad! Prepare to face my burning fists of courage," Nei shouted punching the air with great rapidity, so fast in fact it blew Complexity off the car he stood on. "All right...so you're going to get hokey! I can fight hokey too!" Complexity screamed. In a vacant lot behind the store Connery stood staring down Sebastian. "Won't this attract the authorities?" Connery asked. "Our ally Sissiphor cast a spell dampening all the phones and radios in the area. People may see it but they can't call for help," Sebastian responded. "Excellent. I've got a surprise for you," Connery gleefully informed his opponent. "How fascinating, as I also plan to surprise you," Sebastian replied with a laugh. Their surprises arrived simultaneously as large objects dropped behind each of them respectively sending pavement fragments in all directions. Connery laughed and climbed inside his own personal gray mechanized battle machine or MechBat. It came complete with Gatling gun, several missiles, thick armor and a large white fedora sitting atop its head, which was really just a sensor platform. Sebastian in the meantime had climbed into a similar machine, though it was crimson and hatless. "Ah I see you had a similar idea to me," Sebastian said through his MechBat's speaker. Sebastian's MechBat was a different design, but came with similar features. Connery also suspected it may be more lightly armored, and more agile. "Just going to have to have better aim I guess," Connery told himself readying the weapons. Sebastian stared at the cross hairs lining up on Connery's mech and grinned. "It's time to feel the power of Sebastian," he blustered menacingly and fired. Back in China, Seru and Melody slowly awoke to find themselves bruised, and covered with debris. The two surveyed the landscape. It was a wasteland, seemingly devoid of life. Melody knocked some dirt out of her hair and winced.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 204 "This is not particularly the sort of outcome I look for in a battle," Melody groaned clinging to consciousness. "That's an understatement," Seru responded and pulled a small device from her pocket. "One of Sebastian's few good ideas," she muttered. In an era before widespread cell phone use, Sebastian had developed a mini communicator which sometimes worked and sometimes totally didn't. Seru flipped it open and tried to contact Tarusia. Thirty seconds later Tarusia's face appeared on a small view screen. "Uh...Seru this isn't a good time!" Tarusia answered anxiously. "What's wrong!?" "Uh…ah!" Tarusia shouted before the transmission ended. Seru looked at Melody worriedly. "I'm feeling pretty good about this day, how about you," Melody groaned. "Do you think you have the strength for a teleport spell?" Seru asked. "Back to Conrad? Hmm...that's going to be rough. I'll be asleep awhile," Melody responded. "Oh..." Seru said cursing herself for not bringing a portal in her rush. "But we gotta get back there so let me start it up," Melody declared with determination and started spell casting. About a mile away, Jameson was stirring. He was covered in ash though Tamrisu was fine. "How did you manage to come out looking spotless?" Jameson wondered. "It happens. I work with powers indescribable to you," Tamrisu snorted "Yeah yeah. So you say," Jameson muttered. "I can say no more, hence the indescribable part," Tamrisu said. "Whatever you say Tamrisu, let's just get back to Conrad," Jameson advised pulling out a portal potion from his outfit. "Where do you possibly keep those?" Tamrisu asked. "I could tell you, but it's indescribable too," Jameson answered. "Sure sure it is," Tamrisu muttered. Jameson tossed the potion and the vortex opened up. The two walked through and of course stepped right into the fracas at the store. Both ducked as a mace flew at them. "Good to see things are just as we left them," Jameson remarked. "I blame you," Tamrisu spat. Jameson glanced at him. "Face the wrath of Cormorant!" screeched a demon leaping at them, "Not today!" Jameson cried punching the malevolent creature. "Ugh I'm going to need a sword…" he realized.

Back in China. Strika also emerged from the battle relatively unscathed. She was bruised, and exhausted. She picked

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 205 herself out of the dirt. I guess we're more evenly matched than we thought. She thought to herself. This makes things all the more difficult especially with the last stone being swallowed up in that volcano. She stood and wondered what her next order of business would be. She soon realized however that Plague was moving across the ground. He was out of eyesight but she could sense him, moving closer and closer. He was still miles away, but she knew he was after her. "Might as well oblige him," she said to herself and also started to walk. Neither of them was in much condition to fly after the last battle. Of course they were miles apart, but that wasn't going to stop them. Not this time. This battle was going to end there if either of them had anything to say about it. She knew that. She tensed and mentally prepared herself for the confrontation.

Conrad. Connery and Sebastian both let out battle cries as they launched a hail of bullets and missiles at the other. Both MechBats dived out of the way leaving explosions in their wake. "I'm just too smart for you to kill," Sebastian said. "I think that saying is also correct for me," Connery replied. "Indeed," Sebastian said. "It probably is, but that's not going to stop me from trying to terminate you. It's nothing personal. You're just in the way." "For me it is personal, because while this started with you just being in our way, now I feel the need to defend my rightful place as the greatest evil genius in Conrad. I do not fear defeat because it is an impossibility, however, my thirst for your destruction is above average and so you will feel a slight upturn in pain before your demise," Connery threatened. "You're about to find out how inaccurate that statement is!" Sebastian shouted as each of them launched another barrage blowing apart most of the street they were occupying and propelling both MechBats to the ground. "How annoying this stalemate is," Connery groaned. "Oh well. Patience will lead to my inevitable victory." "What? No satellite's to back you up this time?" Prim goaded. "You are fortunate that it is orbiting in a different area. For…the…moment," Lucio answered. "However I possess more government surplus weaponry than I could possibly need," he added. "Eh...we'll see." Lucio fired off another mega shell. Prim replied with a barrage of small projectiles as he dodged out of the way. Lucio dived behind a car and fired another shell. Prim was able to evade the attack this time and watched as the metal hit a wall and bounced off harmlessly. He was thankful the shell wasn't packed with gunpowder. "Too slow!" Prim exclaimed. "Yes apparently that's true," Lucio admitted throwing the cannon aside and pulling out a grenade. He pulled the pin and lobbed it at a surprised Prim who opened fire hastily blasting the grenade apart before it detonated. He let loose a dozen bullets into the car Lucio was hiding behind. Prim advanced, but Lucio pulled out another grenade and rolled it along the ground. "Yowzers!" Prim shouted and leapt away as it ignited taking most of the cars in the lot with it. Lucio rolled out of the way of the exploding vehicles and stood up, another grenade was in his hand. He threw it forcefully. Prim destroyed it, but then promptly ran out of ammo. He withdrew the arm cannons and let the metal fists become his primary weapon again. Lucio drew another grenade.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 206 "So it's going to be that way is it!" Prim shouted charging at him. Lucio threw the grenade. Prim grinned as a suit of armor encased him. The grenade blew up knocking him backward, but he landed on in a stable stance. The armor retracted slightly revealing only his face. "Surprise!" he shouted and ran at Lucio again. Lucio grinned as a laser beam smashed through the sky. Prim swore and leapt back as the laser narrowly missed him. The heat of the weapon still managed to singe him slightly through the armor as the breastplate was cut through. "Take that you wanker. The satellite is back in position!" Lucio shouted.. Another laser blast descended from the heavens. Prim retracted his armor and dived. "This isn't going to work…no way I can get close unless...I…!" he shouted and became a truck. Lucio's eyes widened as the truck rumbled at him. The lasers flew at Prim, but he easily avoided them in vehicle mode. Lucio hustled out of the way of the speeding Prim and started running hoping to find a way to deal with it. "Hahahaha, run in terror from the living truck that is Prim!" Prim shouted caught in the moment.

Command Center. By this time the battle had attracted a great deal of attention. While the poor citizens of Conrad were in little position to spread the word, the allies of the various combatants were well aware of what was happening. The girls, with their varied wardrobes who normally hung out at Realm of Comics had hurried to the scene of the conflict. More and more goblins and similar forces were rushing to the store as well. In a further bizarre twist, warriors and knights from several kingdoms had also popped up and the pandemonium was soon growing into combat all over the east side of Conrad. Mysterious Zak, Vic, Nhightman, Zaee, Edgea, and Dave stood watching the situation unfold, as more and more combatants were appearing. "This is beyond chaotic," Nhightman observed. "There are groups arriving I didn't even know about like the Orange Dwarf Legion for instance. The legion's supposed to be only a legend, and yet there it is." "It looks like the two sides for the most part are falling back to safe positions," Zaee said punching some numbers on the control panel. "In fact by now it seems only the Conrad students we know are fighting in the Serpent's Cavern area itself." "But what are the other sides massing for?" Nhightman wondered. "That's a good question, though it seems that our side is headed towards the Hartford border," Zak reported. "You're right," Zaee agreed. "And then the baddies seem to be trying to mount a defense in front of them." "They're heading from Serpent's Cavern to Realm of Comics," Nhightman said in realization. "Maybe I should go help them," Vic suggested. "No no Vic, you're far too valuable to lose," Mysterious Zak said quickly before the laughter followed. "This is wondrous," Dave commented. "Wondrous? This is bedlam wrapped in a madness tortilla, with no cheese!" Nhightman exclaimed. "This Tolkeinesque battle will put this novel over the top!" Dave declared grinning. "Time to use the bathroom!" "Ooh good idea!" Vic shouted. "I'm not opposed to you using the bathroom, just use a different one," Dave remarked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 207 "So many bathrooms to choose from!" Vic responded with joy. The two headed out. "We know too many morons," Nhightman groaned. "Oh come on," Edgea interjected with a smile. "This is great fun." "You're right," Nhightman admitted.

Conrad High School Auditorium. The stage is made entirely of particle board as I understand it. Officially the Board of Education denies it, but we got a hold of the construction records that prove it. That time the entire school orchestra fell through the floor was a good indicator too. What was amazing was they kept playing. They must be a good orchestra. Didn't say they played well... Oh. Then again...they don't play the right notes when the stage is intact either. At least they're consistent. Agreed! You should see what happens when they try to play "Queen" songs. It's scary. "You capitalists can't even agree upon a way to oppress us!" the four students shouted. "That's it!" Deputy Gopher shouted. "Get 'em!" With that, the deputies started launching tear gas. "Hey! That's our job!" the security guards shouted and rushed the stage. The four guys although still chained to the podium had been resisting arrest far more capably than one would have expected and the security guards and Sheriff's deputies were struggling to extricate them. Tear gas was everywhere. "There's something about this that's worrying me," McGowen admitted watching things degrade. "Only one thing?" Curtiss asked. "Yes...something...oh...hell!" McGowen screamed as seconds later the ceiling caught fire. "I forgot they built this auditorium with fire causing asbestos," he explained. "Fire CAUSING asbestos!" Acting Principal Curtiss shouted in shock. "It was cheaper than the other kind of asbestos," McGowen replied. "When was someone going to tell me that!" Curtiss screeched in shock as the auditorium caught fire, even as the tumult with the protesters continued on the stage. "What is going on here?" Superintendent Radisson asked as he pushed open the auditorium doors. He looked at the answer to his question, spun and strode back out nearly colliding with Mayor Crossgrave. "Join me in retreat!" Radisson shouted. Crossgrave shrugged and did so.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 208 Serpent's Cavern Area. Lucio raced through an adjoining parking lot of The Weed which was a popular second run movie theater. Prim pursued at high speed. Lucio zigged and zagged to avoid giving his opponent a clear run at him. There was little he had left to work with given he hadn't planned on fighting a truck. He leapt atop a car only to have Prim ram it. Lucio leapt off of it at the last minute and landed on another one. Just have to find the right poorly made gas tank. He thought and jumped to another car. Prim rammed that one as well. This time the expected explosion resulted as the gas tank blew. Prim was thrown upward and slammed into the roof of the theater on his way back down. Lucio grinned as the next satellite beam flew from the sky. Prim turned human and barely rolled out of its path. "Tally ho wanker!" Lucio cried. Nei and Complexity were both bleeding from their noses and bruises covered their bodies as they stared each other down. "As they say in Portugal…prepare to taste defeat," Complexity blustered. "That's hardly exclusive to Portugal," Nei corrected him. "It is if it's in Portuguese!" "Not true, Brazil also..." "Shuddup!" Complexity snapped and charged at him. Nei kicked him in the head in reply. Complexity stepped back and began to dance wildly. "Oh no you're in for my dancing combat fighting method. I call it Dance-Jitsu!" "Oh hell," Nei groaned. Tokyo-1 raced up and narrowly avoided hitting him. "We gotta regroup Nei, get in!" Seru demanded urgently from the wheel. Nei leapt into the passenger seat as the SUV circled around the parking lot. "Wait for me!" Tarusia shouted fleeing the store. Vaux pursued her with a battle ax. She whirled her bladed wand, knocked the ax away and blasted him with a few purple bolts. Vaux stumbled back hit the a glass window and shattered it with his posterior before collapsing hard to the concrete. "I had it handled," Tarusia lied jumping into the back seat. "Ah hah! Action!" Prim shouted leaping atop the roof of Tokyo-1. "Where's Sebastian?" Seru asked. "Right there," Nei answered pointing. Sebastian and Connery had forgone the long range attacks and were now dueling with energy sabers in the adjoining lot. Seru hit the gas pedal. "Sebastian! Back to Realm of Comics!" she shouted out the window as she drove by the MechBat "But I'm in the middle of dramatic battle!" Sebastian yelled back. "Save it for later!" she shouted back. "Awww." Sebastian said. "Sorry, Connery, our violent conversation is over." He hit the jet pack attached to the suit, blasted into the air, spun, and skimmed away following Seru.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 209 "Laser!" Prim blurted. "Laser?" Seru asked. "Change lanes!" Prim shouted. A beam smashed into the other lane. "You're gunna have to keep zig zagging if you want to get us there in one piece, they've got satellite weapons," Prim advised. "The…..fuck…." she answered slowly but did as he suggested. "Hmm...that is frustrating," Sebastian said through his speaker. "I'm going to take care of that right now. Be right back." He turned the jet pack on a higher level and the MechBat rocketed upwards. "Running away isn't very brave!" Connery screamed as his MechBat followed. "Oh so you want to make this a sky battle, I'm all for it, but first you have to catch me," Sebastian responded and the two mecha shot even further skyward.

China. Plague had just come into view. Something was different about him, something Strika couldn't quite place yet. She kept walking ready to renew the conflict and then it hit her as he came within fifty yards. Plague was nearly completely nude. Strika shrank back in horror. "Expected reaction!" Plague exclaimed and fired off a bombardment at her. Strika hurriedly blocked it, but also stumbled backwards. Plague leapt forward firing energy left and right at her. She ran for it asthe sight of him had broken her will. In a puff of Berkelium she disappeared. Plague laughed. "Victory!" he shouted and vanished in a cloud of Chlorine.

Space. Sebastian's MechBat broke through the atmosphere. Connery followed quickly with his energy sword at the ready. Lucio's satellite floated in orbit as the seemingly ridiculous laser cannon was deployed below its superstructure. "It would have been useful to have some long range ammo left over, but ah well I guess I'll have to this with some degree of finesse," Sebastian muttered to himself. A volley of fire smashed into him knocking the battle mecha off course. "Whadya know, one more round left," Connery said grinning swinging his sword. Sebastian blocked it and soon the two were sparing. "My mech is fully capable of fighting in space," Connery boasted. "That's not hard, you just have to adjust for gravitational imbalances," Sebastian answered. "Elementary design in fact." "Yes well I wouldn't expect you to have a conception for elementary designs let alone know what a socket wrench is," Connery retorted. "I don't need to know what a socket wrench is. I have an unimaginable amount of specialized wrenches!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 210 Sebastian yelled. The two swung their swords together again but Sebastian also delivered a punch to Connery's mech sending it drifting towards the satellite. "You're not going to manage to push me into it, no way, do your own dirty work," Connery snapped twirling his sword and slashing the left arm off of Sebastian's mech. Sebastian spun his weapon up and smashed through the white mech's right leg. The two were now both off balance without gravity. Sebastian hit his rockets and pivoted towards the satellite. Connery swung his sword again and knocked the opposing mech's sword-holding fist clean off. Momentum however carried the fist and sword into the satellite causing minor damage. The cannon spun awkwardly towards the both of them. "Now you've done it!" Connery howled. The satellite fired just as Connery tried to preemptively slash through it. The orbiting platform exploded, but not before the burst hit both mechs and knocked their stabilizers out while pushing them back. The two MechBats lost their orbit and plummeted towards Earth.

Command Center. "Holy fuck!" Zaee shouted watching the two dots representing the MechBats descend on the gigantic view screen. Alarms started to blare as was expected at times such as these, and red and blue lights flashed off rhythmically. "Atmospheric incursion detected," a monotone voice reported. "Atmospheric incursion detected." "Crap," Nhightman said. "That's not good." "Not good is the understatement of the quarter century," Mysterious Zak criticized. "Quarter century?" Nhightman and Zaee asked in surprise. "I'm being conservative." "I didn't know we had blue lights too," Nhightman noted. Edgea laughed. "Whether they live or die this will be special," she mused. A grinding sound accompanied the opening of a hatch in the right wall and Stiegg tumbled through it and slammed into some especially well polished flooring. "What is happening?" he asked. "Welcome back," Edgea asked. "Where have you been?" "I can't talk about it," the Chief of Staff responded. "To answer your question, in summary, two giant mechanized battle suits are descending rapidly through the atmosphere," Zaee explained. "Heh...sounds like a party..." Stiegg responded awkwardly. The group all looked at him with varying degrees of annoyance. "What exactly do you do here anyway?" Nhightman finally asked.

The Sky. The two mechs passed through re-entry and plunged towards Conrad. Several hundred feet from the ground Connery and Sebastian both wisely ejected. "Let this be a lesson to you! I'm just better than you are!" Connery shouted as his parachute deployed. "With that kind of logical summation how can I possibly hope to win?" Sebastian asked sarcastically as his own chute flew open. "I choose to ignore your query," Connery remarked looking down at the other end of Conrad on the Hartford border. "Wow, interesting developments down there it seems." "Egad!" Sebastian exclaimed.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 212 Dungeon, Serpent's Cavern. The chaos that was going on upstairs did not go unnoticed, but Richard Samuels and his various were in little position do anything about it. Rab Iener cackled. "Why are you laughing! It sounds like World War 3 went up there!" Samuels snapped. "It very well might be," Iener said looking through the bars of the cell at the ceiling. "But now it is quiet and so any minute now..." "What?" Samuels asked. The ceiling collapsed in on them.

Castle Conrad. The Viceroy emerged from his chamber, and from the relative little attention his character had been getting recently, and clacked onto the balcony. "What is this nonsense?" he sneered noticing the smoke rising from the high school in the distance as well as the dust being kicked up from the melee at the gaming store. "Hammershim!" he bellowed. One of his various attendants scurried in, approached, tripped ,and fell from the balcony. "Dammit..." the Viceroy muttered. "Whacken!" Another attendant rushed in and managed to avoid an exit downward. "My lord?" Whacken asked. "Where in the name of Osmond's ghost is Samuels?" The Viceroy asked. "He has apparently not reported in for some time. We have Burrows and Lewiston looking for them, but they are who they are," Whacken responded. "I would have expected the Mayor and the Superintendent to inform me of what is happening as well," The Viceroy sneered. "The situation at the high school is apparently somewhat out of control," Whacken said. "What the hell is going on over there then?" Samuels asked pointing at Serpent's Cavern. "Unknown," Whacken said. "We've intercepted no emergency calls regarding it." "This is a screwfuck," Samuels said. "I can't even get information in a town I dominate! Whacken, go personally find Burrows, and Lewiston, and on my authority find out what the hell is going on." "Sir, shouldn't we mobilize more of our people?" Whacken asked. "Are you questioning my wisdom?" "Only for exposition purposes!" Whacken quickly said backing away. "What?" "Never mind sir, your judgment is correct! Apologies!" Whacken said and hurried out. Hammershim meanwhile climbed over the balcony edge and collapsed awkwardly to the floor, gasping for breath. The Viceroy whirled. "There was a ledge," the servant sputtered. The Viceroy kicked him.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 213 "Call over to the Board of Education and find out if anyone there knows what is happening. I'm going in search of the Mayor," the Viceroy commanded. Hammershim nodded weakly and crawled toward the phone.

Board of Education. A nervous male secretary answered the phone recognizing the number. "Yesssss?" he asked. "Where is the Superintendent?" Hammershim hissed half for effect and half because he was probably dying from his injuries. "The Superintendent is at Conrad High dealing with the situation there." "What is the situation there?" "Some students apparently were protesting something and then a fire started. That's all I know." "Page the Superintendent, have him call us here," Hammershim said. "Of...course..." "Does anyone know anything there?" Hammershim added. "I don't know..." The secretary paused as another figure had entered the outer office beckoning for the phone. "One moment," the secretary said and handed the phone to the new arrival. "This is the Assistant Superintendent. Let me inform you of the entire situation. It may interest you," the new figure said with a slight grin.

Conrad High School. The fire was put out quite quickly by the talented Conrad Fire Department however the flames had done quite a lot of damage. Nonetheless, the four protesters were led out the front door of the school in handcuffs and not the fun kind either. "That's some great work there," Chief McGowen muttered as the four Lydar faction members were loaded into a paddy wagon. "Shush you hallway guardian! This is real police work," Sheriff Hill snapped. "Is this all over?" The ActPrince muttered. Her answer came in the Student Council President's office exploded in a giant fireball. "What the hell!" McGowen shouted. "We claim responsibility!" the Lydar faction members shouted from inside the paddy wagon. The firefighters, though on the verge of leaving, noticed the new job and all looked at each other. "Let's fight us a fire!" they shouted and rushed off to confront the new inferno. "My god," Superintendent Radisson gasped from the parking lot looking at the heavily damaged auditorium and the now burning section of the main building. His pager started beeping violently. "EH?" he said and looked at the message. "Oh no, he must know!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 214 "How could you have let this happen!" Mayor Crossgrave yelled in a panic at Sheriff Hill, McGowen, and Curtiss simultaneously. "SHERIFF SHERIFF!" interrupted the scolding with an urgent cry over the radio as the southern belle they had found to be a dispatcher was hysterical. "Scarlet, what is it?" the Sheriff asked through the radio of his squad car. "Sir! The whole border is a mess, there are all these things fighting each other! I don't even know what they are, Goblins or something, magicians...oh my god it's terrible, we're getting calls all over the place!" The dispatcher shouted as clearly the range of Sissiphor's spell was not infinite. "Those gaming kids," the Sheriff growled. "I'll whip 'em into shape. Come on boys! Scarlet! Call the posse and get backup rolling from other parts of the county!" "Right...sir..." the dispatcher answered trying to hold back her panic. "McGowen, keep an eye on this trash!" Sheriff Hill shouted pointing to the four Lydars in the back of the van. "Let's go boys!" The Sheriff and his deputies hastened away in search of the calamitous conflict. Crossgrave remained in shock. "There's a riot underway...with Goblins?" he stammered. "This is the end isn't it," Radisson muttered. "You guys have good pensions?" McGowen asked unhelpfully. "Hope so." The flames dissipated as the fire department efficiently thwarted them. "I thought this job was going to be easy..." Radisson admitted staring into space. "Me too," Crossgrave said. "Gentlemen!" shouted a familiar voice. The pair of executives whirled to face The Viceroy. "SIR?" they both said in shock. "A word," The Viceroy snarled. McGowen began to laugh.

A Field. In an improbable result, Connery and Sebastian had both drifted down into a vacant grassland in Conrad not far from where they had launched from. The two geniuses had discarded their parachutes and were with great confidence studying each other. "You must be wondering if I'm out of weapons," Sebastian said. "And I must wondering if you are out of weapons. The wrong guess could result in a most certain death." "Quite," Connery agreed. "I'll admit it is quite the quandary. Who knows what we are capable of," Sebastian mused. "I know what you are capable of, which is why you should be careful. I can kill you were you stand if you make another move," Connery countered. "Interesting. Though if you had a ranged weapon, why not use it anyway? What's stopping you? Surely not a sense of good form or mercy," Sebastian questioned.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 215 "My decisions are never as simple as decency," Connery confirmed. "I grow tired of waiting," Sebastian said as a calculator appeared from his sleeve and landed in good position in his left hand. With a fluid motion he let it fly. Connery smiled as he quickly retrieved a small sharpened microchip from under the hair above his ear and flung it. The calculator exploded and dropped to the dirt. "That actually was just a calculator," Sebastian gloated. Connery winced slightly but keep his grin in place.

Roadway. Tokyo-1 skedaddled through...really..skedaddled? Anyway Seru's vehicle moved speedily up the roadway East of Serpent's Cavern. "Seru, while I rarely question your decisions, if we continue on this trajectory we'll end up running right into the back of Tamrisu's army," Nei ventured. "What now..." Seru responded tiredly. "Seriously," Prim confirmed. "They're going to be right in front of us if we don't veer off." "Oh fine," Seru responded and spun the wheel pulling the SUV in a u-turn and narrowly avoiding a Mister Skippy's Ice Cream Truck as she did. "You'll pay for this!" the driver shouted. "I don't understand..." Seru muttered hitting the pedal harder and rushing to get the car onto another main road. "No one understands the Ice Cream Mafia," Prim responded. "Watch out!" Tarusia shouted hurriedly as the Vauxmobile skidded at them from one of the side streets. "Oh...lovely..." Seru muttered. "HAH! THE ENEMIES!" Complexity cried and started to hang out of the passenger seat clutching the door for stability. "Stiegg hold her steady!" "I didn't expect to go into combat ya know!" Stiegg responded. "You're quoting "Star Trek Three" at me you sonuvabitch?" Complexity shouted back. "HEY!" Tarusia shouted and sent a purple crescent blast from her wand whizzing at them. "Gah!" Stiegg shouted speeding out of the way of it. An artillery shell exploded out of the back seat through the open window and well aimed by Lucio. "SHIT!" Tarusia swore and lanced out several more crescents of energy exploding the shell. The impact knocked both vehicles apart and to other sides of the road. Seru managed to stop the skid and hit the brakes hard. The Vauxmobile narrowly missed a parked car and stopped awkwardly. "I have no time for this," Seru snapped and hit the gas again. "PURSUE!" Complexity shouted and the van followed making the momentarily interlude almost meaningless. The two cars raced by the massive golf course located on the hill adjoining Conrad High, narrowly missing oncoming cars as the absurd chase continued. "Launch...countermeasures!" Complexity shouted opening the door and hanging from it. "Countermeasures? In what sense are..." Lucio began to reply.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 216 "Follow my orders!" Complexity demanded. "Ok..." Lucio responded and a pushed a button on the back armrest. The rear of the van parted revealing Vic sitting there obliviously. "Fire one!" Complexity ordered. With that Vic was flung skyward by a strange device and managed to land on the roof of Tokyo-1. "Whadafuck..." Seru muttered. "I'll get him," Nei ventured and stuck himself out of the right side back window. Vic punched downward and connected. "Wait what?" Nei exclaimed as he was knocked off balance and tumbled out the window. "DAMMIT!" Prim shouted grabbing his leg and trying to pull him back in. "Seru you might want to stop!" Tarusia suggested urgently from beside Seru. "NOOO that's what they want!" Nei cried. "Enough of this..." Tarusia said aiming her wand at the roof. "Don't...damage...the family car..." Seru implored fighting exhaustion. "Open the sun roof then..." Tarusia muttered. Seru hit the button. "HAH HAH! ENTRY!" Vic shouted as it slid open. Tarusia's lightest level energy attack flashed through the gap and flung Vic from the roof. "Well..." Tarusia began to say before a cartilage curdling scream interrupted as Complexity leapt through the closed back left window shattering it and colliding with Prim and Nei. The impact pushed them both out of the vehicle with him. "SHIT!" Tarusia shouted as Seru hit the brakes again. "GO!" Prim shouted picking himself up covered in dirt and blood. "Just keep going!" Within seconds he was a van. Nei and Complexity both recovered at similar times and threw drop kicks at each other. Their feet connected and they fell awkwardly to the ground landing on their legs. "ACH!" they both cried. Seru listened to Prim's advice and pulled the SUV away from the scene. Stiegg drove the Vauxmobile at the transformed boy, and Prim narrowly dodged. Complexity, now a hot mess, stumbled up and grabbed a hold of the open passenger door again and clung to it. The van turned in pursuit of Tokyo-1, but Prim immediately followed as Nei leapt into the back. "This really sucks..." Nei observed weakly clutching his stomach. Tokyo-1 had since rushed through a commercial area and rounded a corner at an intersection detouring towards the comic store. The two vans followed. "You got any more ammo?" Complexity shouted into the van. "I'm out," Lucio said. "They'll airdrop me some more stuff when we get to the main battle!" "Fuckin...wonderful!" Complexity shouted. Prim veered towards them. "GAH!" Complexity shouted kicking out and running up Prim's side using the energy to flip to the roof of

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 217 the Vauxmobile before Prim sideswiped them. Despite Stiegg's attempts the van skidded through the intersection. The man-van made the turn to follow Seru, but Stiegg lost control, only regaining it after the van had nearly hit a nondescript building belonging to a really bad phone company. A motorcycle roared by them piloted by Zaee, with Edgea behind her, scimitar in hand. The two hit high speed and bypassed Prim entirely as Tokyo-1 lay ahead. "We gotta catch up!" Nei demanded. "I wasn't built for speed!" Prim conceded but still tried to increase his velocity. "All we need to do is take out a tire, and we've got them!" Edgea noted. "I don't know what we're even doing!" Zaee admitted. A barrage of purple bits flew at them. Zaee expertly dodged. "What's happening now?" Seru asked weakly. "Our enemies actually sent someone good after us," Tarusia said. "Hold on!" She pushed herself out of the sunroof and started drawing with her wand as the motorcycle slid alongside and Edgea readied her sword. Tarusia kept drawing and finally one of her birds sprang to life. It swept out behind the car, glided and dived in at the cycle. "The fuck," Zaee responded and dodged it, skidding away as the bird tried to peck her. Edgea swung her scimitar, but it bounced off the bird's magic feathers. "Looks like I'll have to do this the hard way," Edgea said and punched the bird in the face causing it to shrink back, but another barrage of purple bolts careened at them, and hit the motorcycle's tires, exploding them and flinging the two into the air. "Roll!" Zaee ordered as the two landed. "Dammit!" Edgea snapped slamming her sword into the ground after she came to a stop. Prim hustled by them, pursued by the Vauxmobile, which slid up next to the two. "Get on board ya failures!" Complexity shouted. "I'll fuck you up later!" Edgea screamed and they climbed in. "This is getting annoying," Seru said noticing Prim was close to catching up. "WATCH IT!" Tarusia cried yet again. The Vauxmobile-2 had arrived in their path on the road ahead with Vaux at the wheel. "Surrender you rebel scum!" Vaux shouted pointing dramatically. "I got this," Prim shouted. Tokyo-1 slid to the side as Prim rammed the Vauxmobile-2 sending it into the front yard of a modestly priced house. "FUCKKKKKKK," Prim exclaimed as the pain started and he detransformed, flinging Nei onto a poorly landscaped set of bushes. Seru hit the brakes and looked back to where their original pursuers were just getting back up to speed. Prim and Nei managed to stagger into the back of the SUV despite their growing pain. With the vehicle stopped. Seru grabbed her sword and aimed it at the Vauxmobile. She fired a white bolt of energy which caused Stiegg to dodge right into a telephone pole. She put the SUV back in drive and gunned it.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 218 A field. "We shall settle this with the forehands!" Sebastian shouted lunging at Connery. "No," Connery answered and evaded. "This is hardly dignified." "Dignity ended...a long time ago for me...and now it will end for you," Sebastian answered. "I disagree for you see..." The whirring of helicopter blades interrupted the discussion further. "Eh?" Sebastian said as he was pushed back by the wind storm kicked up by the chopper. "HAH! My sky chariot awaits!" Connery shouted. The genius quickly grabbed a rope that dropped beside him and cackled as he was pulled up through the bottom of Conradine One. "Welcome aboard," Dave said as Connery took a seat. "Your timing was for once...excellent," Connery responded. "The pilots get credit for that." "Yes they do," Connery said. "Nothing for you. So where are we headed?" "Realm of Comics has become the main battle area," Dave said. "Wonderous." The helicopter banked away leaving Sebastian so glare at them.

Realm of Comics Vicinity. "Onward to victory!" Tamrisu shouted riding atop an elephant. Several thousand knights, warriors, rangers, imperial guardsmen, paladins, Dwarves, Halflings, Elves, wizards, Druids, and men-at-arms, moved down the main road closing in on Realm of Comics as they marched. A relatively equal sized army of Orkes, Goblins, Ogres, Trolls, necromancers, sorcerers, Dark Elves, Shady Dwarves, Wolf Men, the various girls, and a vampire backed down the street defensively trying to figure out a strategy. Diusqa emerged from the store trailed by about a dozen small magical creatures. "Uh, this doesn't look good," she admitted. "The numbers somehow are not in our favor," Sissiphor said continuing to backpedal. "Foolish mortals." Tokyo One screeched to a stop in the parking lot of the movie theater nearby. Seru, despite her weariness, leapt from the vehicle. "Hey stop backing down!" Seru shouted causing her troops to all hold position. "Stand and fight them!" The two sides paused to stare across at each other. "I feel it would be impolite not to demand your surrender!" Tamrisu shouted. "Are you kidding! After all you jokers have put us through! We just wanted to play some games you know!" Seru screamed. "For...all this...you will be the first to die!" "Ouch she's lost it," Tarusia whispered as Seru's friends climbed out of the vehicle. "Although it's always fun to watch her snap, I'm also worried," Prim admitted. "You sure showed her Tamrisu," Jameson muttered. "Silence! I have no time for ridicule! Charge!" Tamrisu yelled.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 219 "Charge?" Jameson asked. "CHARGE!" "ARRRRRRR!" their forces all shouted and rumbled across the four lane street they occupied. Seru's forces also raced at them. "Nei you bastard, you always wished you could have been in "Braveheart"! Someone listened to you!" Prim shouted. "Sorry," Nei answered weakly. The two sides thundered at each other, picking up speed and momentum until they met in a clamor of metal and screams. Tamrisu watched from the elephant cautiously. "You going to do anything?" Jameson asked. "My powers are very weakened right now. I'm faking it," Tamrisu answered. "Give me your sword." Jameson shrugged and tossed the damaged weapon up to her. She held it until it started to glow a bright blue. Within seconds a fully repaired sword was being thrown down from the elephant to its owner. "Sweet," Jameson said and hurried into the fray. Seru leaned against Tokyo-1 weakly. "You don't look so good," Tarusia observed. "Really really tired, don't know how much more I can do," she admitted. "Melody's passed out at home. China trip didn't go well." "Then it's up to me then," Tarusia determined. "Damn that's cliché. Meh" She climbed onto the hood of the SUV and then the roof and began to cast a spell. The conflict itself had momentarily paused as each side had backed off yet again trying to figure out a strategy. This interlude allowed Jameson to notice that Tarusia was working on a major spell atop the vehicle. He whirled toward Tamrisu and pointed. The elephant rider shrugged and started her own spell. Jameson himself charged forward, lunging over an enemy soldier and bouncing off of heads all through the enemy army. "Spirits of Darkness and Light. Earth, Wind, and Fire, come forth and join with me," Tarusia chanted. "I accept your gift with the power I possess and you used to possess and now that I'm borrowing! Shadow Glaive!" she shouted as the power billowed from her bladed wand. "NO!" Jameson flew at her and swung his sword. "Unforgivable!" Seru shouted and blasted him back before she dropped out of consciousness. He careened back within his own lines and was caught by some warriors. Tarusia's assault soared at the Serpent's Cavern army and hundreds fell as it impacted. Tamrisu swore but continued to prepare likely her final spell. It was also at this point that Tarusia realized her attack had spewed in all directions and also done great damage to Realm of Comics. The windows were shattered and the top half of the building had been sheared off. She had also knocked the roof off the move theater. "Oops," she muttered glad Seru had been asleep at the time. "Hey they're showing the new Steven Segal movie in there," Prim noticed as he punched a Dwarf. "Yeah I don't go for all those movies which have violence for no real reason," Nei said kicking a paladin to the ground. "Come now, that's the foundation of America. Without meaningless violence we wouldn't have freedom," Prim countered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 220 "Is this really the time to have this discussion?" Nei asked. "Probably not," Prim agreed ducking a halberd. "Wings of Darkness and Fury! COME FORTH AND DO DAMAGE TO ASSHATS!" Tamrisu shouted finishing her spell. Several waves of silver energy flashed from her hands and glided into the opposing line. "HAH!" she shouted. "I may not be a god, but I am as important." Her energy left her at that point and she fell fast asleep atop the elephant. "Great Tamrisu's useless now. That'll make this far more difficult," Jameson muttered. "WOOOO HAHHHH!" Complexity shouted as the Vauxmobile skidded onto the street and emptied out at the front of the Serpent's Cavern battle line. "It's time for things to get ugly!" Complexity hooted only to be tackled by a horde of Diusqa's creatures. "What are these!?" Complexity shouted angrily flailing at the small four legged people. "I will not be beaten by mini dragon horses!" "Way to contribute," Edgea muttered. "Stiegg...you had probably sit this one out," Zaee admitted. "Fine with me!" Stiegg shouted climbing out of the driver's seat. "Ah hah!" Prim shouted limping from the maelstrom. "Sure," Lucio said and hopped into the driver's seat of the van. "I'm going to use this van as a weapon thanks," Lucio replied. "Very well, a game of chicken with captain exposition is fine with me," Prim said turning into a truck. "That's more like it," Lucio said and revved the engine. "You have fun," Jameson said and hurried back towards the melee, Zaee and Edgea trailed after him. The two drove at each other furiously and fastly…wait…The Vauxmobile and Prim barreled at each other. Lucio laughed and pressed the ejector seat. He sailed upward as the car slammed into Prim and exploded. Prim skidded into Realm of Comics and smashed through the front door. He transformed back in shock. "Bastard," Prim spat running out of the store despite the pain he was feeling. Lucio landed safely and grinned as the Vauxmobile Two roared up. "Uh hi?" Stiegg asked from the driver's seat. "Just drive!" Lucio shouted leaping into the van. Stiegg kicked the pedal and the van shot away back down the street. "Now I'm mad!" Prim said in a fury turning back into a truck and motored furiously back into the battle. Conradine One flew overhead as the scene continued to degrade. "This is…horrible," Dave observed out the window. "I think you're entirely to blame," Connery remarked. The road was piled with wounded and dead warriors. Still the free-for-all continued with thousands on either side brawling and the select main characters weaving among them. Prim in a fury was just running over any enemy he saw. "Such carnage. Isn't it wonderful? It's not even my own creation," Connery said in awe.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 221 "You may enjoy carnage that isn't your own, but I do not," came Plague's voice seconds before he appeared in a seat beside them. "I am seriously p'oed," he complained. "Bad day?" Connery asked. "Yes immensely. The crystal vanished into a lava flow after all that trouble!" "That sucks," Connery replied. "I know right," Plague vented. "You planning on getting dressed any time soon?" Connery questioned. "I will…when I desire to," the still nude Plague answered. Nei had actually managed to do well in the chaos with his close combat skills. That still didn't make it any less annoying when Complexity attacked him. "I have escaped the wrath of small animals. Now you can't run from the master," Complexity announced. Nei kicked him in the face. "You were saving that move up weren't you?" Complexity snapped and threw a jab at him. "Yep!" Nei confirmed as the two sparred. At this point Seru awakened slowly to notice the helicopter hovering overhead as she slumped against the door of her car. "That annoys me," she growled and weakly aimed her sword wand upwards. "I suggest you bail out," Plague said as he looked out the window, before vanishing vanished in a cloud of Samarium. "Eh?" Connery and Dave said looking at each other. The helicopter rocked and began to shake. "We're hit!" the male Buzzinator said hurrying from the cockpit as he and his partner rushed to fling open a door. "How pathetic," Connery uttered and the four jumped out of the helicopter, parachutes in hand, as Conradine One dropped downward and smashed into what was left of Realm of Comics. "I should have thought that over better," Seru muttered and fell unconscious again. "I've never had to make a parachute jump twice in one day," Connery said as the four floated downward. "Is it even possible for us to get parachutes open this close to the ground?" the female Buzzinator asked. "If it is within Dave's twisted mind, we're all set," Connery reassured him. "Don't knock my twisted mind," Dave said as the four drifted into one of the movie theater's screening rooms through the nonexistent roof. The battle was getting more intense. Nei and Complexity were once again bleeding and covered with red bruises and welt. "One of us isn't leaving this fight standing," Complexity declared. "It'll be you," Nei responded. "Perhaps you misunderstood me," Complexity said and elbowed him. "I'll repeat." "Oh I gotcha," Nei answered kicking Complexity in the stomach then spin kicking him to the ground.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 222 Complexity back flipped up and grinned. "Bring it buzzkill," he taunted. "Why aren't we shouting out the names of our attacks anyway?" Nei asked. "No time for that right now, we're in the closest thing to a climax you'll ever encounter," Complexity answered. "I doubt that this is a climax," Nei responded. "That's what she..." Complexity began before he was jabbed into the right eye on by his opponent. "AUGHHH you eye jabbing crapmangler," Complexity howled tackling him. Zaee clutched one of Connery's absurdly designed ray guns as Edgea stood beside her readying her sword. A horde of Ogres was closing in on them, but Zaee was gradually picking them off with her marksmanship. Two got in close but Edgea slashed them down speedily, causing others to hesitated and also be blasted down by Zaee. "Cut me an opening maybe I can get through to Seru," Edgea suggested. Zaee fired quickly through the approaching enemies, watching their bodies drop as the goth vaulted forward killing another dozen with a spinning torrent of steel. She rushed onward through a gap noticing the SUV ahead. She picked up her pace only to be hit by a lunging mini-horse which knocked her off balance. She knocked it aside with a fist and spun to see Diusqa approaching surrounded by small cute creatures of varying ferocity. Edgea grinned and twirled her scimitar menacingly. "By all means Diusqa, come at me." Diusqa hesitated but let her pack of magic cuties dash across the field followed by more she was hurriedly creating. Edgea readied her counterattack. Prim had found Jameson and now the living truck boy was sizing the swordsman up. "I'm waiting," Jameson taunted. Prim laughed and drove at him. Jameson ran forward and unleashed a sword technique flinging Prim backwards. The van skidded along the ground upside down and turned human in disgust. "You're all bastards!" Prim wheezed in frustration. Jameson grinned. The great happening was soon upset by a single sentence. "It's the fuzz! Beat it!" one of the warriors shouted as the Sheriff drove up followed by his other deputies. Everyone scattered in all directions. The Conrad group piled into the Vauxmobile and hurried off. Tarusia took the wheel of Tokyo-1 as the Realm of Comics squad departed. "That's right! Run like the wind before I take you out to the proverbial woodshed and hit ya with my not so proverbial club!" Sheriff Hill shouted hopping from his car. He looked over the battlefield covered with dead monsters, knights and such. "Figbucket," he spat and contemplated the paperwork he awaiting him.

The Past. He hurried through the mud, as the ground swelled around him, slowing him down. He fell, and the brown oozed all over him before he pulled himself back up and resumed his rush. The rain poured at a rate he had never felt before and the wind smacked it across his harried body. It was stereotypical, it sucked, but that was where he was desperately trying to get away. He could hear the figures behind him gaining. He turned quickly down another road but dashed into the brush, fighting his way past limbs and bushes. The runner picked up speed tumbling through the leaves and scraping himself on every piece of plant life he encountered. He staggered out into a field but soon found pavement below him. Ahead sat a solitary twin-engined prop plane covered in dirt. He ran faster, his pursuers came out of the brush. A gun shot sounded, then another, but he didn't stop until he reached the plane. A man beckoned him inside. He climbed in and the plane didn't hesitate as the pilot gunned the engine. Bullets whizzed and whuzzed at the aircraft, but few hit, and soon it was airborne. "Are you all right your Highness?" The man who had been at the door originally asked. "Scrapes..." the muddy chasee replied brushing him off. "They moved faster than my family anticipated." "Faster than anyone anticipated. The coup was quick and expansive." "I can't believe it," the hunted responded gasping. "I just can't. I just don't understand how they organized like this." "We believe there were people inside the Royal Family helping them," the man said. "That would have made it easier no doubt," the pursued responded with realization. "Where are we going?" "South Korea has granted us permission to enter, and then we will get you on to the United States." "America? Are you sure?" "No," his rescuer admitted. "It's entirely possible that the U.S. Government had a role in this too, but it's the safest place to hide and we have people there." "I should hide who I am though." "Yes your Highness definitely." "It seems like I'll have plenty of time to think over what my new life will be, but I think I'll call myself Vaux." The plane continued on, crossing his country's border and flying onward to a new existence.

Two years later. Conrad Middle School. A few years before the chase that would smash through the school's cafeteria, a new transfer student approached the doors to columned building trailed by a second student. "You sure you ready for this?" the second asked. "I am," Vaux said. "What was your name again? I'm sorry, I forgot it during the briefing." "Nhightman," the student answered. "That's a strange name."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 224 "It's a code name." "It's a strange code name." "You're an asshole," Nhightman snapped. "That's how you'll address me?" Vaux asked pompously. "You're nothing here," Nhightman replied with a scowl. "You're not an Emperor, you're just Vaux, a random transfer student of little importance. Plus this is middle school, if you're not swearing every fifth word they will eat you alive." "Perhaps you are right," Vaux said. "I will adapt." "You better stop talking like you're from Versailles jackass." "Ok," Vaux said. "I will." "Now listen, there's a group of us that will rotate your security. You'll know who we are, usually it'll be me, but there are others too. Try not to attract too much attention." "I have the perfect plan for that," Vaux responded. The pair were distracted from their entry by the approach of a figure in a modest cape. His hair flared behind him. A sash adorned with skulls ran diagonally across his chest plate. "Stand aside!" he bellowed and approached the doors to the school trailed by a clean cut kid in a lab coat. The pair entered as students scattered out of their way. "Who are they?" Vaux asked. "Bad news," Nhightman said. "That's Lord Skole Plague, and his partner in crime, Connery Scotz. They've been plotting and scheming together since sixth grade. We have a dossier on him, but the organization has decided to work with him rather than against him, though that's...been rough. We suspect he has supernatural abilities, but we haven't been able to prove it, and Scotz, well he just uses science for the wrong purposes..." "He's smart?" Vaux asked. "As smart as I am?" "I think you're fairly equal." "Interesting," Vaux responded. "What are their goals?" "We're fairly sure it's world domination." "Cliche." "Maybe, but that's what they're doing. But like I said be careful, they will destroy anyone they see as a threat." "Then I just have to not be a threat," Vaux responded and hurried through the doors. "Wait what!" Nhightman said in disbelief. "Lord Plague!" Vaux shouted. Plague whirled as did Connery. "You speak...to me..." Plague responded acridly. "Yes Lord," Vaux said. "I am Vaux, I want to be part of the cool crowd, you know, hang with the posse." Plague looked at him in surprise. "Will you submit to testing?" Plague asked. "Testing, you bet! I'm good at tests...well...no..." Vaux said. "I am...they said a horse is better at math, but

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 225 I'm no horse, and horses don't take math so in the end I win!" Nhightman slowly edged closer to the conversation watching with surprise. "After school meet us by the flagpole, we shall see if you're as good at testing as you say," Connery added and the two turned away. "Are you sure about this?" Connery asked as they walked. "Willing test subjects are hard to find," Plague responded. "Could he be up to something?" "Possibly, but we will learn that too if so," Plague added. Back in the lobby of the school Nhightman looked at Vaux incredulously. "What did you just do?" he asked. "Got in with the crowd that's going to get me my country back." "What? And shut the hell up about that here!" "If they underestimate me enough, I will have my homeland back," Vaux said. "Shut up about that!" "Fine!" The end of the school day came quickly. Vaux headed out the front door, trailed by Nhightman and headed for the unimpressive flagpole sitting in a circle of pavement in the middle of the school's expansive lawn. No one was waiting when they arrived. "I can't make it obvious that I'm with you all the time, so I'll keep an eye on you from a distance," Nhightman said and hurried off. Vaux leaned against the flagpole contemplating life and thinking through his new persona. He did not notice the figure with a crossbow standing atop the roof of the school, nor did Nhightman in his effort to conceal himself. The figure tensed and lined up the weapon with Vaux's head. "Of all places to find you...here..." she said to herself taking careful aim. "I thought I'd have to hunt you down, but you came to me, in Connecticut...you have terrible luck Emperor..." "So he is an Emperor then..." came a voice from behind her. She whirled but was hit with a small bolt of light, dropping her to the ground unconscious. The flash drew Vaux's attention and he looked up at the roof only seeing Plague. Plague glared down at him and pointed causing Vaux to avert his gaze. "My idiotic new lackey is apparently an Emperor...how interesting," Plague remarked as his right hand dimly glowed with power. "I wish I had truly grasped memory altering spells, but perhaps I can make this work. The last thing I need is more people knowing his secret..." "Ah exposition, excellent, excellent," Connery said stepping onto the rooftop. "What's going on?" "One moment," Plague said as the power swept over the girl's head. Plague concentrated further but suddenly his eyes opened. "Damn, these spells are annoying!" he snapped. "What did you do?" "This girl...she knows Vaux is an Emperor of some kind..."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 226 "An Emperor?" "Yes...so I have blanked her memories, well...she knows he is an enemy, but not why." "Why was she his enemy?" Connery inquired. "I'm not sure," Plague admitted with a shrug. "The great Lord Plague is not perfect after all!" Connery sneered. "Silence!" "We should probably get out of here before she wakes up." "Indeed. Do you know her?" "She's a sixth grader, name's Tarusia," Connery explained. "She will be have to be monitored. Let's go. Our test subject awaits!" Plague cried.

The Past. He hurried through the mud, as the ground swelled around him, slowing him down...wait a second... Shush. It's artful repetition. He fell, and the brown oozed all over him before he pulled himself back up and resumed his rush. The rain poured at a rate he had never felt before and the wind smacked it across his harried body. It was stereotypical, it sucked, but that was where he was desperately trying to get away. He could hear the figures behind him gaining. He turned quickly down another road but dashed into the brush, fighting his way past limbs and bushes. The runner picked up speed tumbling through the leaves and scraping himself on every piece of plant life he encountered. He staggered out into a field but soon found pavement below him. Ahead sat a solitary twin-engined prop plane covered in dirt. He ran faster, his pursuers came out of the brush. A gun shot sounded, then another, but he didn't stop until he reached the plane. A man beckoned him inside. He climbed in and the plane didn't hesitate as the pilot gunned the engine. Bullets whizzed and whuzzed at the aircraft, but few hit, and soon it was airborne. "Thanks for the lift," the runner said. "Eh, I don't know why I did, you seem like someone I wouldn't like," the man said. "Hey pilot! Step on it! This guy's annoying." "You don't even know me!" "I am starting to. What's your name?" the man asked. "It's Voltrein," the previously hunted said. "Who were those guys?" "MENSA." "MENSA?" "Yes MENSA." "Why?" "They hate me," Voltrein admitted. "Wonder why," his rescuer sneered. "Look I'll get you to Akron, but then I'm letting your ass out ok?" "Thank you, here's some money," Voltrein said and handed the man several hundred dollars. "Money! Well why didn't you say so? I still hate you but I'll keep quiet about it for the rest of the trip."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 227 "That's fair," Voltrein responded. "But what the hell did you do to piss off MENSA." "Caused jealousy." "Jealousy. Of you!?" "I have the highest recorded IQ in existence." "Are you kidding? You seem like a loser." "Maybe I am, but I'm a smart one," Voltrein said. "Wow...the things I encounter parking my plane at the end of random runways," the man said. "Hey pilot! How long until Akron!" "My name is Frank!" the Pilot shouted back. "I don't care you fruck!" the man shouted. "Isn't it fuck?" Voltrein asked. "I don't use other people's swears, shut the fruck up!" the man yelled. "Weird," Voltrein said. "What kind of name is Voltrein?" "I've never liked it." "So is MENSA going to keep trying to kill you?" "That's a good question...maybe I need to lay low for awhile." "I don't know nuthin about getting shot at," the man responded. "I need a less obvious name...how about Vic?" "Vic's a name that suits you, cuz you're going to be a victim someday," the man responded. Vic shrugged.

Two Years Later. "Ah you came," Plague greeted as he and Connery approached Vaux by the flagpole. "Yissireee," Vaux said. "Then we will...what!" Plague shouted as he and Connery stepped out of the way of a bike racing at them. The bike hit the flag pole and clanged to the ground ejecting it's rider into Vaux knocking the two to the grass hard. "Explain yourself!" Plague bellowed. "I um...sorry Lord Plague...sorry..." Vic said hurriedly. "Accident your mightiness." "You will face my wrath as well," Plague said. "Come with us!" "Yes'um yes sir, I was hoping I could be helpful," Vic said weakly. "Walk," Plague said and the four began to walk from the school. "Who are you?" Vaux asked. "I'm Vic, who are you?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 228 "Vaux." "Do you ride bikes?" "I ride...cows," Vaux responded. "Cows...cows are mighty," Vic answered. Connery and Plague exchanged glances. "Silence morons," Plague commanded and the four continued on their way. As they did Tarusia awoke on top of the roof, blinked and rose, watching them approach a road in the distance, dismiss the crossing guard with a wave, and continue on. She scowled and plotted her next move.

Day 10

Conrad High School Command Center. Vaux climbed through a small access way and dropped through it's floor into a larger corridor towards a control panel. He flung it open and started typing into it quickly. The sound of metal clanged near by him and he whirled as Vic rounded a corner, tripped and smashed into the wall. Vaux spun. "What are you doing?" Vic asked. Vaux leapt up and started dancing before dropping next to the control panel and typing the melody "Tainted Love" into the keyboard while humming. "You shouldn't mess with the controls," Vic said. "They'll kill you." "I...love the beeping," Vaux said. "Why are you here?" "I...I...I...am waffle," Vic responded. "Let's get out of here," Vaux said slamming the control panel closed. "Sure," Vic answered and the two hurried towards a door only to have it slide open and a scimitar bearing Edgea stood awaiting them. "So..." she began. "Who talks and who gets kicked?" The two hesitated. "The answer is both of you!" She shouted drop kicking Vaux before spin kicking Vic. "Guards!" Some minions hurried up and dragged the pair off. "Seriously, this random shit has to stop," she muttered.

Realm of Comics Vicinity. Sheriff Hill stood surrounded by deputies in the aftermath of the battlefield. Weapons lay all over the road and the surrounding parking lot. "What happened to the bodies?" he asked. "Word has it that they dissolved," another deputy replied. "Dissolved...Christ," Hill spat. "We're going to be here all night cataloging this shit." "Sir...the Viceroy!" another deputy called pointing. "Like I need that piece o' manure right now," Hill muttered as the Viceroy's car arrived followed by

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 229 numerous vehicles filled with Byzantine Sons. "Hi," Hill said. "Sheriff...what do you make of all this!" the Viceroy shouted. "We're investigatin ri' now," Hill responded. "I should have your head for this." "I'm elected, you can't touch me." "I very well can!" "We'll see won' we?" Hill said with a slight grin. "How did this happen!? Solve this...now...or you're beloved nature among the people will not save you!" the Viceroy snapped. "We'll find out, yes we will," Hill said. The Viceroy spun and returned to his car. The B.S. procession went the way it came narrowly missing a wandering Sebastian who, realizing what they were, hastened by a tree. He waited until they were gone before looking down the street and noticing the law enforcement presence. "This isn't ideal," he muttered pulling his accidentally shattered communications device from his pocket. He turned back the way he came and began the long walk home.

Elsewhere. Richard Samuels waited by the pay phone for seemingly hours before Burrows pulled up in his car. "FINALLY!" Samuels snapped getting in. "What happened to you?" Burrows asked. "I was kidnapped!" Samuels snapped. "Take me to the Viceroy!" "Well all right, but he's kinda busy." "He'll see me!" "All right..." "Where's Sagacity?" "Not sure." "Whatever...just drive!" Burrows promptly merged onto the roadway and collided with a milk truck. "Are you kidding me!" Samuels snapped as the car bounced off awkwardly and hit a light pole. "YOOOOOO!" Burrows said flinging open the damaged car door and staggering into the street.

Command Center Holding Area. "This shit again!" Nhightman screamed into the holding cell. Vaux sat facing him with a blank expression. Edgea stood outside watching curiously. "What the hell were you actually doing in there?" Nhightman whispered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 230 "One of the scientists sabotaged the power core to the main weapon," Vaux whispered back. "I like the beeping!" he shouted. Nhightman smacked him. "Connery's been so busy with the multiple wars that he didn't check it," Vaux whispered further. "Don't hate my music!" "Which scientist?" Nhightman whispered. "Hanson." "Hanson...typical...Hanson is awful...I'll investigate." "WOOOOAHHH TAINTED LOVE!" Vaux shouted maintaining his cover. Nhightman hit him again. He fell to the ground as Nhightman exited. "So..." Edgea began. "He's just wrong..." Nhightman replied and headed into the cell holding Vic. "Listen you have to stop Hanson," Vic whispered. "The fuck?" Nhightman said. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Vic cried. Nhightman raised a fist, but Vic crawled back. Nhightman grabbed his collar. "What the hell?" Nhightman hissed. "Quietly...no one must know my secret," Vic said. "What secret?" Nhightman whispered. Edgea watched even more curious. "I'm smart," Vic said quietly. "The fuck?" "I'm really smart, Hanson messed with the power core, if he succeeded the whole system would blow up. Normally Connery would catch it but he's been distracted," Vic said. Nhightman paused a minute and stood up. "He's...I don't even know!" he snapped. Edgea shrugged from the doorway. "You got this?" She asked. "Yeah..." Nhightman responded. She left and headed back to the control area. "Are you telling me that you're pretending to be stupid?" Nhightman asked. "Yes...MENSA wants to kill me, and I had to blend in. If Connery and Plague knew I was a super genius they'd probably kill me too just to be on the safe side, or force me to do their bidding." "You already do their bidding!" Nhightman snapped. "Yes but I have control over it, they don't think I can do anything complicated," Vic explained. "So your weirdness is an act? A total act." "Yes...it fooled you didn't it?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 231 Nhightman unexpectedly started laughing as the reality hit him. "You are so stupid!" he said and cackled. "We'll take care of Hanson." With that he left and shut the door thinking about everything and continuing to laugh.

Day 11

Conrad Town Hall. The chaos that had ensued the day before had not gone unnoticed. The common people overall were worried about the unrest. Nor was anyone particularly pleased about the auditorium catching fire and being reduced to a charred shell of its former self. Mayor Crossgrave stared out his window nervously at the hundreds of protesters gathered outside. Superintendent Radisson stood beside him shifting with agitation. "They want our heads," Crossgrave said grimly. "And…they're going to be given them," The Viceroy announced from behind the Mayor's desk. "But we had no control over..." Crossgrave began to protest. "Exactly," The Viceroy said cutting him off. "And now undue attention has been drawn to Conrad and when attention is drawn to the town, my causes always suffer. You two have got to go!" "But..." the two said weakly tried to amass a defense. "This is one of the few cases gentlemen in which I agree with the rabble out there. You can leave quietly, take your beating out there, and hopefully gain employment elsewhere, or face the wrath of a destroyed reputation," The Viceroy threatened. Radisson and Crossgrave looked at each other and sighed. "I guess we're done," Crossgrave admitted. "But who will succeed us?" "Assistant Superintendent Tang will take over the Superintendent's job," The Viceroy declared. "General Tang?" Radisson responded in shock. "Are you sure?" "Positive." "All right, you asked for it," Radisson said. "Uh but Viceroy," Crossgrave stated hesitantly. "If I resign…the Deputy Mayor takes over." "So?" "Do you even know who the Deputy Mayor is?" "I don't," The Viceroy revealed. "It's rapper Neopolitan Chill sir." "Neopolitan who?" The door swung open and a dust covered Richard Samuels rushed in. "They said you were here sir!" he said. "SAMUELS! Where the hell have you been?!" The Viceroy said. "I was kidnapped by monsters!" Samuels shouted. "What..." The three others in the room asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 232 Conrad High School. Office of the Vice President. With the President's office now destroyed, the seat of power of the Student Council had returned to the V.P.'s office. Dave sat in the room emptied of any decoration and looked over paperwork. Connery and Complexity each leaned against the desk. "We're still assessing the damages and losses," Connery said. "Feds going to get involved?" Dave asked. "Unlikely. They seem to have a good spin to put on it," Connery responded. "Heh...shady bastids," Complexity muttered. The door swung open and McGowen entered. "You fuckin wads," he said. "Chief," Dave greeted. "You shit pipes," the Chief answered. "Chief, a pleasure," Connery added. "Listen," McGowen said. "You have to chill all this shit out. Now. Viceroy's on the warpath, and their eyes are turning right on you all. So chill it out for a bit." "Thanks for the warning tool shed," Complexity responded. McGowen kicked him through the window. "HEYYYYYY!" Complexity shouted before landing on his feet and walking back into the building. "Needlessly violent," Connery responded. "I'll knee you in the face," McGowen said. "Try me," Connery said. "Oh...really?" "We're in this one together McGowen!" Connery shouted. "You know the deal, you know what we have on you, and we know what you have on us!" "Still!" McGowen shouted bolting up with his knee at the ready, Connery dodged and reached under the knee flipping the Chief to the floor. "Damn you," McGowen shouted standing back up. The door swung open and Complexity entered and resumed leaning against the desk. "Just listen to what I'm saying!" the Chief snarled and stormed out.

Judge Zap's Chambers. The as yet unnamed Prosecutor for Conrad County and Sheriff Hill sat across from the Judge. Zap looked at both of them curiously. "So you're proposing to charge two separate groups of high school students for the riot yesterday?" Zap asked. "Yes sir," the Prosecutor said. "We have evidence to suggest that..." "What evidence?" Zap asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 233 "Well eyewitness accounts of..." Hill interjected. "Of a massive melee involving magic creatures and attacks believed to only exist within fantasy books?" Zap asked. "Sir, they were in your very courtroom arguing for access to that gaming store," the Prosecutor said. "Oh I know they exist," Zap said rising from his desk and pacing. "That isn't the point. How do we handle living under the reign of a bunch of oligarchs up in a tower?" "By keeping our head down, by doing the things that don't bother them, but doing the best job we can," The Prosecutor said. "I hate it," the Sheriff added. "We all hate it but that's how it is," Zap agreed. "Now we have two more factions, with extraordinary power, and we're supposed to challenge them? No, no. We will keep our heads down too and see who comes out ahead. Besides even if we were disenchanted with living. We charge them and that'll draw attention to what happens. No doubt The Viceroy wants this handled quietly. I'd assume at one point he was willing to let civil authority handle it, but it's bigger than us now. He'll want the B.S. to take care of it." "You're right," The Prosecutor admitted. "Dammit," Sheriff Hill ejected.

Cathedral. Stiegg sat in a pew pretending to pray. Within a few minutes the Cardinal appeared at his side and sat. The wooden pew creaked as his rear touched down. "What news do you bring my son?" the Cardinal asked. "What was the cause of this conflict?" "There's just two sides is all," Stiegg answered. "One of them's good, one of them's not so good, the heck if I know which is which." "They are very powerful," The Cardinal said. "Yeah," Stiegg said. "You don't need me to tell you that." "I do need you to tell me about them. Go into great detail," The Cardinal responded. "I...don't think...I should..." Stiegg answered. "No you shouldn't!" came a cry as Plague materialized in the center aisle. "Lord have mercy!" the Cardinal shouted. The room filled with Priests as Plague looked them all over. "Really now, do you expect your mysticism to protect you?" the demon asked. "In this church you are vulnerable," The Cardinal said as his hand began to glow. The Priests rushed Plague but he knocked them all aside with a spinning circle of power. The attack bounced off the Cardinal's hand though. "The power of Christ compels you!" The Cardinal shouted as a white hot beam lanced from his hand. Plague grinned and caught it. He grabbed the beam with both hands and smacked it over his knee shattering it. The Cardinal staggered back. "Stiegg...come here," Plague said. Stiegg bolted up and hurried to Plague's side. In a cloud of just plain smoke the two vanished. The Cardinal

Under Realm of Comics. The white room Sebastian had secretly constructed with the help of his borrowed scientists was circular and filled with various computer terminals. How he acquired all the equipment was an open question. He sat in the middle in a swiveling chair. There was a small control bank in front of the chair and Prim and Nei sat it. This sounds very familiar… "Status report," Sebastian requested. "You're getting way too into this," Prim muttered. "Silence you. I am in command here," Sebastian said. "I personally welcome your Captain Kirkish type ways and encourage you to swagger more," Nei volunteered. "Damn right," Sebastian said. A door to the room swished open and Seru, Tarusia, and Melody entered. "Really? What…the fuck…" Tarusia muttered. Sebastian turned to face them. "Welcome to The Sebastian Room!" he said proudly. The three hesitated. "This is how Dave's ending the chapter?" they asked in unison.

Office of the Mayor. Neopolitan Chill, the new Mayor of Conrad, sat in his new chair clad in his traditional outfit of a one piece outfit made of shiny material. He adjusted the tie he had quickly put on over the bare-chested portion of the outfit. The Viceroy stood across from him trying desperately to understand just what was going on. "Now Mister Chill, I wanted to meet with you to discuss the situation here in Conrad," The Viceroy began. "Right on," Mayor Chill replied. "Who are you again?" "I am The Viceroy. I live in Castle Conrad." "I live on the streets, of the streets, and by the streets," Ice replied. "Word up yo." "Yes you see there's basically an unwritten agreement between the people I represent in the mansion district and town hall that we have a role in all that goes on." "Huh?" Chill asked. "I'm saying is that it has been traditional for me and the Mayor to share power in town," The Viceroy explained. "Why?" "Because I am rich and powerful as is everyone in the mansion district." "Oh, word," Chill said. "Word what?" "Word." "Uh, yes, anyway..." "You seem like a pretty uptight dude, whazup over in the districk anyway." "Maybe we should talk another time," The Viceroy said. "It's all good," Chill responded holding out his hand for a high five. The Viceroy just coughed and strode out. "Funky," Chill said to himself.

Conrad High School. Chief Executive's Office. Acting Principal Curtiss was just glad that the general public had forgotten to blame her for the incident in the auditorium the day before. Still Curtiss felt uneasy about the chaos and the results. Chief McGowen rushed into the office. He looked ashen and unkempt. "Ma'am, General Tang as Superintendent is bad news." "I don't even know who he is, and why does everyone call him General?" Curtiss asked. "Apparently you haven't been here long enough to know," McGowen said. "Ma'am, General Tang was the one who lead the coup to overthrow the Emperor of a small Asian country that no longer exists, but our government kept it hush hush. But you see Tang then fled from the country in fear of his own military. He was an

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 236 awful dictator. He didn't particularly persecute people or anything, he was just incompetent. Somehow he ended up as an Assistant Superintendent, but Ma'am he's bad news. His ambition has no end, nor does his cruelty." "Coming from you, I'm seriously worried now," the ActPrince admitted. "You should be. We all should be." "Ma'am," her secretary said poking her head in the door. "The Superintendent's Office just called. The new Superintendent is planning on visiting the school today." "TODAY?" Curtiss blurted in surprise. "Yes Ma'am." "We don't have time to cover up all the school's liabilities!" Curtiss shouted in a panic. "We can try Ma'am," the Secretary responded. "Damn right," McGowen said. "We'll get right on it!"

Math Building. Poor Mr. Eyena once again was in hell. "You know Mr. E you really should learn to relax more," Maka Penguin suggested. Eyena glowered at her. He crushed the chalk he held and then compressed the dust particles he had created in one motion. "Math...where infinity is just a way of life," Chafer mused. "I have a question for everyone," Daman said. "Aren't you going to come up here to the front?" Eyena muttered. "Nah. It's been done," Daman replied. "Here's the thing, would all of you consider spending your summer at Math Camp? Honestly." "Enough! Math camp wasn't my idea," Mr. E barked. "So let's get class started." "I thought we'd start out with a number that most people remember, and we can just sort of set the mood," Daman said speaking into a hand held microphone he had just produced. "Where did you get that!?" Eyena snapped. "You'd probably prefer to know where I got the spotlight," Daman said as it covered him with light and the classroom lights switched off. "Oh hell," Mr. E said. "Joining me for the song will be the Pre-Calculus Girls Choir, hello girls." Hi," many girls in the class all said filing in behind him. "This shall be in the key of G," Daman declared. "Guys...please...don't," Mr. E urged. "Hey, Mr. E we had a discussion about today earlier, it was either this or the Macarena," Goshin explained. "It shouldn't be anything!" Mr. E exploded. "I agree, in a perfect world," Daman remarked and sang. "I came this way from Lexington…"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 237 The girls backed his singing up for some reason and class predictably collapsed.

Command Center. The elevator snapped open and Connery stepped out of it. Zak turned towards him from his console. "Ah there you are," Zak said. "The scientists report that stage one of the project is complete, though they added their numerous moral objections as usual." "Of course they did," Connery replied and laughed. "How is the status of our defensive measures?" he asked. "Also proceeding well," Zak reported. "However, Dave informed me that Superintendent Tang is expected to arrive in an hour." "Uncharacteristically pertinent information from him," Connery said. "We need to make sure Tang doesn't discover anything. He is far more dangerous than Radisson was. When I depart, add extra camouflage to the exits and seal them off with more security measures. I will work from upstairs to avoid suspicion." Zak nodded. "We have too many enemies," Connery admitted.

Conrad High. Office of the Vice President. The door swung open hard and slammed against the wall. Seru strode in trailed by Sebastian. The new arrivals stood opposite the desk. "Where do I begin?" Seru said as she tried to control her rage. "You and your cronies are responsible for the destruction of our store, never mind that weapon of unnecessarily mass destruction you're building," Seru said. "It was actually your own person who destroyed much of Realm of Comics, not my allies, and you did further damage by shooting my helicopter down I might add," Dave answered calmly. "So...we did all that fighting you and your people!" Seru responded with fury. "They are many things but they are not my people, you continually overestimate my importance to them." "Ah, but you have some value or else they would have no doubt destroyed you, or at the very least sterilized you for the good of humanity," Sebastian suggested. Seconds later a trap door opened under Sebastian and he let out a gasp as he fell in. A second after that Seru had her sword wand out and pointed at him. "I won't be fooled so easily," She declared. "How can you even come up here and blame me for all that's happening? It's all of your foolish wars. I just embezzle money, fly around, and ridicule things. I don't hurt anyone, whereas might I add, your associate there is also working on a weapon of his own. Don't get righteous with me, I merely exist. If you've got a problem with my friends, kill them, not me." She lowered her sword. "This isn't over," she promised and headed for the door only to turn back briefly. "You use too many commas," she said and exited to a stairwell. Sebastian was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "What happened?" She asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 238 "I fell down this tube and narrowly avoided being impaled on top of the sewing machine in the home economics room," Sebastian responded. "Ouch," Seru remarked. "Yes, ah well, comes with the territory. Did you get anything accomplished?" "Less than I would have hoped…there's still a home economics room in this day and age?" Sebastian shrugged.

Music Room 2. Melody was sitting at a small piano in the center of the room. Nei leaned against it while lying staring at the ceiling. "You realize you're doing the peanuts thing right?" Melody asked. "Peanuts are good," Nei responded missing the point and started eating some from a bag in his hand. Melody was surprised at this turn of events but returned to her playing. As she did, Prim resumed drilling a hole in the wall. Music Room 2 was next to the Electronics Room and thus it was a possible way for the group to spy on the goings on inside. As Prim drilled, Tarusia watched out the door of the room for any interference from enemies, teachers, or otherwise. Melody continued to play a relatively loud piece she had composed herself as Nei ate his peanuts and contemplated the many holes in the ceiling tiles above. "Can't you go any faster?" Tarusia asked. "Absolutely, all that was holding me back was being asked whether I could. Now I have the inspiration, it flows through me with the force of a tidal wave," Prim responded holding the drill aloft. Following an exchange of glares, he resumed the drilling.

Electronics Room. "Essentially, the angle of attack is what matters," Connery was saying to an assembled room of troublemakers. "What is that sound?" Plague interrupted. "What? The piano?" Connery asked. "Yes." "Why?" "It is strange to hear practicing right now," Plague growled. "We hear it all the time," Connery responded. "Though…this is abnormally good." Connery approached the wall and listened. "There is literally only one music student in the building who can actually produce music of high quality," he realized aloud. Nhightman tensed nearby realizing the same thing. "So?" Plague asked. "So…that student would be Melody…which means…" Connery moved to explain. "She's probably just practicing… like music students do," Nhightman interjected.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 239 "Perhaps…" Plague said. "OR NOT!" With a swift movement of his arm, the wall blew away knocking Prim to ground. Melody bolted from the piano seat, Nei rolled up into a fighting stance, and Tarusia wasted no time in drawing her bladed wand. "SO!" Plague said. A piece of ceiling bounced off his shoulder and hit the floor raising dust. "Fuck," he said wincing briefly. "SO! This was your plan! Using music to conceal mischief. Shame on you! Now…pain." The door opened and Seru and Sebastian stepped in and immediately noticed the situation. "Well done, you destroyed the wall!" Sebastian exclaimed with a mischievous grin. "Our plan worked." The others grinned nervously as the situation grew tenser. Acting Principal Curtiss came over the PA system breaking the standoff. "All right people, Superintendent Tang is expected to arrive any minute so behave yourselves dammit because it's not only my neck on the line here, he'll screw us all over if he gets mad," Curtiss pleaded. "Ok!" the students yelled back. "AND STOP DOING THAT!" Curtiss shouted. "It would appear…we risk exposure continuing this now," Plague said. "We kind of already risk exposure now that you blew a giant hole in the wall too," Prim responded. "Annoying but fixable!" he muttered and with a wave of his hand. The wall returned to its original state behind him. "Do not test us…the new order will not be generous to you," he said and teleported five feet back behind the wall. The six all looked at each other. "I feel good about our progress today, how about you?" Prim asked clapping his hands together.

Conrad High Front Entrance. Superintendent Tang's motorcade pulled into Conrad's main parking lot. The Superintendent of course was given a chauffeur driven Chrysler and an escort detail of several dark suited bodyguards who preceded and followed the cars. It was not usual for a Superintendent to need this sort of security, but the former dictator of a country turned chief educator for a town had many enemies. Curtiss stood waiting. Chief McGowen and a line of Security Guards stood at attention. Dave and Stiegg shifted unsurely nearby. The school pep band kicked up the slow rendition of "The Final Countdown" they saved for official affairs such as this one as Tang emerged from his car dressed in a khaki uniform arrayed with medals. "Superintendent Tang, it is an honor," Curtiss greeted. "Acting Principal Curtiss," Tang hissed shaking her hand. "I understand you had an altercation here is that correct?" "Yes sir, unfortunately some protesters had to be taken into custody. A slight fire broke out as well but all of these situations are under control," Curtiss recounted. Tang cast a glance over at the low quality front wall of the school building, especially the part that had been hastily reattached to the auditorium again.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 240 "Is that wall constructed correctly?" Tang asked curiously. "It has always lived up to expectations sir," Curtiss said. "I see," Tang said. "Let's proceed inside, I wish to tour this school in detail." "Of course sir," Curtiss agreed. "And who are those two?" Tang asked pointing at Dave and Stiegg. "Ah that is our Student Council President, and his Chief of Staff," Curtiss explained. Tang walked over to Dave. "You are the one they speak of," Tang realized. "Sir?" Dave asked. "Yes...indeed they do," Tang added with a sadistic grin. "Come, let us tour the school!" The group all headed inside. Their first destination was the cafeteria, which caused Curtiss to sweat slightly. At the sight of the group, the students all quieted down and ate as politely as possible. As rowdy and trouble making as they were, the students knew that if Tang canned Curtiss and changed anything about Conrad, their autonomy was threatened, so they behaved themselves. Tang walked among the tables surveying the students. He finally arrived at the traditional table many main characters sat at. Connery, Plague, Complexity, Lucio, Zak, Vic, and Nhightman were placidly staring at each other's hands in a poker game. "You allow them to play this game?" Tang questioned. "It's harmless sir," Curtiss answered. Tang approached them. "Hello Superintendent Tang," the group all said in unison. "Eh?" Tang said. "You kids really should be working on something more productive than cards you know. This is an educational institution." "Yes it is," Connery agreed. "This game teaches us strategy. All of life's careers require strategy whether it be in the public sector, private sector, or in any profession which seeks to overthrow one or the other of these sectors." "Indeed!" Plague declared. Tang looked them all over cautiously. "You speak truth I'll admit," Tang conceded and turned away from the group a bit disturbed. The entourage headed for the exit only to find that Vaux stood in their path. "So we meet again! General Tang!" Vaux cried. "YOU!" Tang shouted in shock conveniently avoiding Vaux's real name. "For the crown!" Vaux shouted charging at Tang seconds before the Superintendent's security detail pinned him to the ground. "Take him away!" Tang commanded. Curtiss cast a worried glance at McGowen who just shrugged. "Let's continue the tour shall we?" Tang said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 241 Room 313. Up in Senorita Kitchell's other Spanish classroom, there was yet another peculiar mix of troublemakers. Daman and The Hooligans had decided Spanish was also a language they wanted to know so collectively they were there, along with Rocky and Alan who apparently could not manage to avoid being thrust into the same class situation. Stiegg would have also been in the class had he not been touring the school with Tang. Kitchell pulled down a map of Spain. "Now today I want to talk about something other than the Spanish language. Today we will talk about the different cultures we can find here in Spain," Kitchell lectured. "Does it really require a map?" Penguin asked. "Yes it does," Kitchell assured her. "Oh leave her alone Maka," Jaka suggested. "Just trying to save time and effort," Penguin muttered. "Now we shall begin with the city of Barcelona," Kitchell announced. "Is that close to the lost cities of gold?" Seth asked. "No no the lost cities were clearly in South America!" Daman snapped. "Like in the cartoon." "That ship was boss, zap!" Goshin said. "I don't know. Danger Mouse could have handled them easily," Goshin remarked. "Didn't Danger Mouse kill Count Duckula?" Daman asked. "Yeah I think it was after Duckula killed Penfold," Goshin replied "There were no Count Duckula-Danger Mouse crossovers!" Seth shrieked. "And I was referring to the OTHER cities of gold." "Students, could you kindly stop talking so I can continue?" Kitchell asked. "Sure, we got it sorted out," Daman agreed "No we didn't," Seth groaned. "You really need to show more respect," Jaka implored them. "We take respect..." Seth began. "To the..." the rest began. "STUDENTS!" Kitchell snapped. "Ex...treme..." the group all whispered. "Where'd the band go?" Daman questioned. "Oh so now you want the band?" Kitchell hissed. "There will be no band unless you all behave." "Ay yai yai!" the band leader said as the band walked in. "Seems like they're a pretty rowdy group ey Senorita?" "I didn't summon you guys," Kitchell said in surprise. "Yes, but we got kicked out of the hall for disturbing another class," The band leader explained. "So now we sing!" And they began to play, which unlike in the other class, led most of The Hooligans to join in the song, much to the band leader's joy and Kitchell's chagrin. About a minute into the song Superintendent Tang strode in.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 242 "Cease this attempt at music!" he demanded. The band stopped quickly. "I am Superintendent Tang! What is going on here!" "Senorita Kitchell was merely introducing us to Spanish Culture sir," Daman said rising. "Was she?" Tang asked in disbelief. "Absolutely sir, and we are learning because of it," Daman answered. Everyone in the class nodded. "Hmm...very well...I don't much approve of your methods, but you seem to run a disciplined class, so I will let it slide," Tang said and strode out followed by everyone else. "Yay!" The band shouted and started up a lively song. Kitchell sighed and pulled a vial of tonic out of her desk.

Gymnasium. Coach Pitt looked over the co-ed class in front of him who were all clad in their gym clothes and clutching dodgeballs. "Usually they play dodgeball with just one or two balls, but I think this makes things far more interesting," Pitt was saying. "Now just a reminder, this game is dangerous, so if you suck, go stand in the corner so you don't get hurt." A few students did just that. "Agility is key in this game, as is skill, as is intelligence, as is not getting hit by the damn ball. I expect all of you to do your best. As the game goes on so will the peril," he continued spouting off the usual things that gym teachers said. "Also…" he added. "Just as a reminder…you're not only facing each other…you're facing Dodge Sniper." A seven foot tall figure dressed entirely in black walked in the door holding dark gray dodgeballs in both hands. "Remember, Dodge Sniper cannot be eliminated unless you hit him with three direct hits at once," Pitt announced. "That seems ludicrous," one of the students responded. "What is ludicrous is the state of our trade gap with China. This is just balls," Pitt quickly replied. "GO!" he shouted and the anarchy began. The students ferociously tried to survive as well as avoid Dodge Sniper. Within minutes 15 students were out. Many of those poor souls were actually wounded and in various states of collapse throughout the gym. Dodge Sniper was circling the survivors. "We may have to work together…" one of the students was saying desperately. "Very well…" the others said and nodded. "I fear…no…balls…" Dodge Sniper taunted. Really? Not thrilled with the concept but I've been working on this thing for 18 years so whatever. The students attacked. Dodge Sniper awaited them and counted throwing his projectiles. Two went down

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 243 but three more leapt and unleashed a unified barrage. They connected. "NOOOOOO!" Dodge Sniper cried and dissolved into a pile of dust. "Wait…is he dead?" one of the students asked in shock before being pelted by a ball. "Dammit!" The game continued as Tang entered trailed by everyone. "Hold up!" Pitt demanded. The remaining players hesitated but all attacked anyway simultaneously knocking themselves all out. Two dropped to the ground hard from the impact. "Ah…well…that works too," the Coach said. Tang's tour group pounded across the gym floor. The Superintendent looked over the aftermath. Curtiss tensed fearful this was it. "Well done Coach!" Tang exclaimed with a smile and shook his hand. "Keep it up."

Electronics Room. When Tang and everyone arrived at the E-Room, an unfortunately mostly male student group greeted him. Nonetheless Zaee, Edgea and some other women were also present. The students all stood awkwardly as Tang inspected the premises. "Where is your teacher?" the Superintendent asked. "He's…sick," Connery answered. Everyone else nodded. Tang looked over scientist cautiously and continued to inspect the room. "They say…" the Superintendent began opening cabinets at random. "…that strange things are occurring at this school, involving unbelievable devices." "Rumors, nothing more," Curtiss herself said. "Rumors…are often true," Tang asserted pulling open another cabinet. "Is there anything in particular you are looking for sir?" Curtiss asked. Tang grinned at her. "This is just the beginning," he said and swung open the cabinet that housed the secret compartment and passageway. He looked it over, and then swung the door shut. Half the room breathed a sigh of relief. "I noticed those sighs," Tang announced. "You would be wise to conceal your emotions better!" With that he strode from the room, and his entourage hurried after him. "Strange fellow," Connery remarked.

Chief Executive's Office. Eventually it was just Curtiss sitting in her office with Tang pacing back and forth. "You seem to run a tight ship here," Tang said. "Thank you sir," Curtiss responded exhaling. "Which worries me…" he added.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 244 "Sir?" "I get reports every day about the strange things that go on in this school. Radisson was apt to turn a blind eye to it or worse. I however have different ideas. The fact that you have concealed what I know to be here is an amazing act…" Curtiss felt her heart pound faster as the anxiety rushed all across her veins. She was about to lose everything. "…which is the only reason you are keeping your job," Tang finished. "Oh, thank you sir!" she said in joyous appreciation. "Yes, I am well aware this school is hardly the pinnacle of educational excellence, however at least you're good at something," Tang stated. "Uh...thank you sir." "Enough 'thank you sirs'. I do not take well to false gratitude. I will be watching you Curtiss." "Yes sir….um sir, what do you plan to do with Vaux?" Curtiss asked. "Vaux?" "The student who attacked you..." "That's what he calls himself? Interesting." "I want him held for the rest of the day as a warning. If he comes near me again, the punishment will be far more severe for everyone involved," Tang growled and strode out. Chief McGowen slowly entered moments later from the outer office. "That could have been worse," he said. "Soooo much worse," Curtiss replied. A ferret leapt into the office through an open window and began to dance. "Bastard!" McGowen shouted and drew his gun. "You can't fire that thing in here!" Curtiss said urgently. The ferret laughed and jumped away. "Call Ricardo, I want our money back. This isn't the only incident!" Curtiss said. "No...it's too late for that," McGowen said. "I'll get someone better though." "I thought there wasn't anyone better?" "There is one man, but I really hesitate to deal with him, I mean, it's just not pleasant." "Who?" Curtiss asked. "Uh...don't worry sir, I'll find him, but uh...I won't like it." "All right, suit yourself," Curtiss said. McGowen starred out the window. The ferrets were in a chorus line dancing across the lawn. "You just wait!" he shouted and hurried out the door. Curtiss sighed.

Castle Conrad.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 245 That evening, the sky was a frightening shade of crimson and The Viceroy barely was able to enjoy it as he one again stood on his balcony. His eyes focused on the white and blue structure far off in the distance and he could find no peace. His eyebrows twitched. "Samuels sir," his servant reported from the doorway. "Send him in," The Viceroy commanded without averting his gaze. "Viceroy sir," Samuels said cautiously approaching. "Given the madness yesterday I expect some good news. What is the situation now?" The Viceroy asked "We impeach our beloved Student Council President tomorrow, from there, a new election will be held. I will make sure our candidate wins," Samuels answered. "You will be the candidate." "Me? But I..." "You," The Viceroy said turning finally. "You have proven your trust, we can take no chances, handle it personally." "Yes sir," Samuels said. "I will not fail you." [My plan worked perfectly. I took care of Cooper, got away with it, and now I'm going to be in charge.] Samuels thought. Congrats, you actually explained a narrative thread. Let me put on my clapping hat. "Yes, it's falling into place," The Viceroy said to himself. "Soon that school will be ours once again. The Byzantine Sons cannot be defeated." He predictably began to laugh maniacally, but stopped almost instantly as a strange whirring sound interrupted. A small submarine, held aloft by helicopter blades, hovered up in front of him. The Viceroy starred at it mystified. Connery's laughter emerged from it as the hull opened. "Hi there!" Vaux said dropping to the study floor. "What the..." Vic exclaimed in shock at the ornate surrounding as he followed him. "Hey, nice outfit," Vaux said. "I had one like that, but it didn't float well, so I couldn't go swimming in it. But you know I like the color. It reminds me of my favorite food, blueberry soup." Vic sighed. The Viceroy gasped. "Sure a lot of people don't like blueberry soup, but it's really most of the time because of the blueberries and the soup and then there are those people who won't try blueberry soup because it has raspberries in it. I can't help that, and it's too bad. Anyway, are you a fan of soup?" "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CONRAD HIGH SCHOOL!" The Viceroy screamed. "Wow, threatening an entire high school there, kinda weird," Vic responded. "Yeah, hate to steal your thunder there, but you're really not making sense," Vaux remarked. "I'll steal your thunder!" The Viceroy shouted furiously. "Now that's just not helping any either," Vaux said. "Come on! You gotta mellow out." The Viceroy swung his leg in a dramatic motion and kicked Vaux straight off the balcony. "Uh oh," Vic said. "He uh...didn't uh...well...I...whoops." The Viceroy punched him several times viciously. "Wow! You're a pretty good evil villain there," Vic noted before being thrown from the castle.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 246 "Our arsenal is vast," Connery said through the sub's com system. "You would be wise to surrender now." "SURRENDER! TO YOU!? NEVER!" The Viceroy hysterically yelled. He then hurried into the study in search of a buffalo gun. The sub however turned and started on its way back to Conrad. The Viceroy turned back towards Samuels. "Anyway, you are sure you then can convince the students to vote for you? Cooper did a lot of damage to our image." "I have an effect on people. They just like me...or at least like me more than anyone else. We high school students don't particularly like people," Samuels explained in confidently. "Very well," The Viceroy said. "Do you hear something?" Samuels asked. "No...what?" "Listen..." The two stopped. They heard a sound resembling an owl's hooting. They both looked around as it built. "What could that be?" Samuels asked. "I have no idea," The Viceroy admitted. Complexity dropped onto the balcony, grabbed the buffalo gun and flung it away. "HOOOO!" he shouted. "I'll destroy you!" The Viceroy shouted. "Hooo," Complexity stated and stared at him. "Be careful sir, he's dangerous," Samuels warned. "I think I know how to handle him," The Viceroy spat. "Ah...ya think so huh?" Complexity said. "Then you are about to enter the realm of Complexity. Pay your admission now and be sure that you're tall enough to be on the ride!" "I will murder you!" The Viceroy screamed charging at him. "Heh heh," Complexity said and did a little dance to dodge to the side. The Viceroy stumbled to the ground. "Get him Samuels!" The Viceroy cried. There was a pounding of footsteps. The door swung open and two Mansion District Security Guards hurried in, guns drawn. "Ah...I see," Complexity said. "Bring it on!" He barreled at the arrivals and leveled one before they could fire. The second tried to bring the weapon to bear, but the football player kicked him in the knee and then delivered an uppercut. "Now! Give me some freaking cereal!" Complexity demanded. "What...what...do you want from us?" The Viceroy snapped. "I want to see marshmallows and Chex combined to produce frosted lucky Chex. They're magically Chexical," Complexity said. "You're insane," The Viceroy said. "Make it happen, or you won't survive," Complexity ordered.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 247 "Complexity, we've gotta go," Lucio said sticking his head out of the second helicopter submarine that was hovering by the balcony. "No! I'm so close!" Complexity bellowed. "There's no time!" Lucio said. The Viceroy grabbed a sword off the wall and rushed him. Complexity booked it to the helicopter as more guards ran in. He leapt aboard and hung from the flying submarine as it sped off. "I am moving up our timetable," The Viceroy hissed angrily.

Cafeteria. In the earliest lunch period of the school day Diusqa put her tray down across from Zaee. Zaee looked up and nodded slightly. "How's your day been?" Diusqa asked pleasantly. "Class has been uneventful but the rest is classified," Zaee responded. "And yours?" "I think I'm finally getting hang of this drawing project, though it wasn't easy. People just don't understand the amount of time and effort, and mistake making it takes to finally produce creative things," Diusqa responded. "I'm not really a creative person," Zaee admitted. "We can't all be," Diusqa responded. The two made dents in their food steadily. "Do you think we'll stop fighting any time soon?" Diusqa finally asked. "Yes actually," Zaee responded. "For a good reason or a bad reason?" "That I don't know," Zaee admitted. "I heard they outran you pretty good," Diusqa teased. "I don't get out in the field much I was rusty," Zaee responded defensively. "Fine, fine, sorry." Zaee angrily chewed her sandwich and swallowed. "I shouldn't be underestimated," she stated. "No matter how little effort has been put into my character." "Good point good point," Diusqa said. "I can relate." "There are real threats out there. The sooner our two sides stop squabbling the better," Zaee said. "But you know Connery, you know Plague. They can't be convinced of anything." "My people can be convinced, but not if Connery and Plague can't be convinced of anything," Diusqa responded. Zaee shrugged. "So there we are," she said.

Electronics Room. Stiegg entered to find Connery was grinning and leaning against a table. Plague stood nearby. "Excellent news Plague, we've acquired a new source of plutonium," Connery was saying. "Finally!" Plague exclaimed with joy. "Who is the new source?" "Complexity." "Complexity?" Plague asked. "Are you sure about all this?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 249 "Yes, trust me, he can be quite reliable in matters such as this," Connery said. "Hey, guys how's the war going?" Stiegg asked. "Ah Stiegg, interesting you should ask that. We have completely neutralized their computer network and the Fecicorp payroll has been safely transferred to our Swiss bank account," Connery boasted. "Wow...what would you do with all that money?" Stiegg asked. "And what have you got against this corporation anyway?" "They have the same goals we do...complete world domination. We cannot allow them to get any stronger," Plague explained. "So we've cut off the head, appendages, and the body of the problem," Connery added. "Oh..." Stiegg said. "Uh...good idea." Any further discussion was interrupted as Vic and Vaux raced in the door and slammed it before holding it shut. "Explain yourselves!" Plague demanded. "There's this weirdo out there, he chased us with an ice pick," Vic answered. "Hey McClintock! I know you're in there! You yellow piece of trash! Come out here and face me before I have to come in there and kick your butt!" The weirdo shouted and pounded on the door. "Ehh...humans with their abnormalities," Plague said. "Normally they're fun, but this time…. Plague waved a hand. The pounding stopped. "He disappeared," Vic said looking out the window of the door. "Yes he did," Plague confirmed. "Where'd he go?" Vic asked. "Another dimension called Creledon," Plague said. "Is that near route 6?" Vaux asked. "Umm...no," Plague said still managing to be surprised by such statements. "So what does one do in Creledon?" Vaux asked while casually sticking his hand in a file cabinet and shutting it. "It is rarely a matter of what one does. It is more an issue of what's being done to one," Plague said. "In Creledon this weirdo shall find himself burning and freezing simultaneously as his skin begins to expand and smother him. As if that is not enough, the serpents of the great pit of Irmydon shall rise up and inject him with a venom that shall cause his innards to literally explode, cell by cell." "I think I'm going to puke," Vic groaned. "Can I watch?" Vaux asked. "There will be no puking in here!" Plague shouted and suddenly both Vic and Vaux disappeared, reappearing a second later. "What exactly did you do there?" Stiegg inquired. "I merely changed the molecular configuration of their bodies and in the meantime transported them into another dimension. Vic did throw up, but because he was in effect a different organism instead of vomiting, he sang three bars of "Sweet Adeline" and cleared his system out," Plague answered "Hmm...that explains the spots then," Vaux said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 250 "There are no spots in that dimension!" Plague thundered. "Oh...then I must be behind on my loan payments," Vaux responded. Everyone in the room turned and looked at him. This was no normal look either. This wasn't just your, "what the hell did you just say?" look. This was a "okay...you ever say something like that again we will rip off your arms and stick them in a blender and then beat you senseless with the blender while it's grinding your arms into paste," look. "Uh...Mentos?" Vaux asked. "Never mind that...there is other business at hand!" Plague shouted. "Speaking of that, Plague I've just come up with a new idea for our operation," Connery began. "Red Dalmatians?" Vaux interrupted. "What?" everyone else snapped. "Don't you think it would be cool?" Vaux replied. "No!" the other people shouted. Vaux began to mope. "You impetuous bastard!" Complexity shouted crashing through a window. He vaulted off a desk and punched Vic in the face. The recipient of the punch wobbled and fell forward landing in a nearby pile of dog kibble. "Hah hah," Connery said. "Shouldn't he have been aiming for Vaux?" Stiegg asked. "I was aiming for Vaux!" Complexity hollered. "What's this doing here?" Vic asked picking himself up out of the dog food. "Oh, sorry, that's mine," Vaux said began sweeping the food into his backpack. "All of you get out!" Connery demanded. Vaux and Vic exited rapidly at his command. "Wait...Complexity, remain," Plague ordered. "Where is this plutonium you promised?" "Ah yes," Complexity said and laughed. "I've got it stored safely in the tool shed." "You fool! Retrieve it before the ferrets get it!" Plague yelled urgently. "Oh drat, you're right!" Complexity yelped and raced out the door. "Reliable is he?" Plague asked snidely. "Well, the shed used to be a safe place to store things," Connery admitted. "Indeed those ferrets are becoming a problem. Even Ricardo couldn't stop them," Plague muttered. "But we have no time to deal with them now. Actually I needed to speak with you on yet another matter." "Go on," Connery said intrigued. "As much as I hate this. I suspect for the moment, we need to cease hostilities with our enemies from Realm of Comics." "Oh?" Connery asked doubly intrigued. "Yes I fear that with this various nonsense…we are being drawn in too many directions."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 251 "I would agree. With a major offensive about to be launched the last thing we need is interference. We should somehow bring these hostilities to an end for now." "How do you propose we make this happen?" Plague queried. "An excellent question that I have no answer to," Connery admitted. "Anyway..." he said and pressed a button his computer. "Commence!"

Purchase, New York. Quince Feci lived quite well down the street from Fecicorp's headquarters. He stood by a giant bay window looking out at his elaborate yard of six fountains and the connecting moat between them. He turned away and snatched a wineglass from the pedestal beside him as he moved swiftly to a CD player. Feci pressed play allowing the harmonies of Kenny G to sift through the room. The well compensated executive smiled smugly as he enjoyed the crackle of his fireplace. As he watched the embers glow he took a seat in a well patterned parlor chair. It was in the second that he reached for the first edition Dickens that rested on the end table beside him that the house exploded in a gigantic fireball viewable as far away as Manhattan. Within seconds, all that was left of the house was a pile of ash, and a two foot shard of bay window.

Cafeteria. "So much for him," Connery was saying as the group at the table toasted. Nhightman had joined the group today as well. "His own fault for making his own house have a self destruct device," Plague boomed. "Won't Fecicorp respond?" Lucio asked. "I'd imagine, but we have a plan in place for that," Connery replied. "I want the message we just sent to be heard." "Let it sink in," Plague agreed. "Hmm…bye," he said noticing approaching figures and vanishing though not in a cloud of anything. "Oh jeez," Dave exclaimed. The Seru Senshi walked across the cafeteria rapidly. Within seconds Tarusia had flipped the table over scattering food everywhere and causing the occupants to bolt up. "Shit, she went all literal," Complexity exclaimed. "This needs to stop," Seru demanded staring them all down. A few seconds passed. "Do you intend to surrender?" Connery asked. "Never," Seru responded defiantly. "Then the negotiations have failed," Connery answered. "Put the table back up! I'll flip it again," Tarusia growled. "Flipping tables changes nothing," Connery responded arrogantly. "Kinda does. That was an awesome lunch I had going on there," Complexity said. "You should reconsider," Seru urged and the six turned away. Dave shot a worried glance at Nhightman who returned it.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 252 "Lunch appears to have been a failure, I'm going to the lab," Connery said and stood up. Dave pulled Nhightman aside quickly. "Just how dangerous are they when they're this pissed?" he whispered. "We're already as good as dead," Nhightman answered. "Maybe I can reason with Connery…somehow," Dave said and stood up heading for the lab as well. "I'll go with you…don't know why," Stiegg muttered. They were soon headed down Hallway A. "So they're going to impeach you today huh?" Stiegg asked. "Yes, well, what can you expect from them? Any challenge to their authority must be pushed down, but they're in for it. Someday, they'll be a revolution, and then..." Dave trailed off. "Oh come on Dave, how long do you think you would last in a revolution?" Stiegg said. "Longer than you! Screw this," Dave snapped and stormed off. Stiegg sighed. "He's right of course," he muttered and headed to the Electronics Room.

Conrad Town Hall. The Viceroy swung open the door quickly to find Mayor Chill asleep in his chair. "Mayor Chill!" he snapped causing Chill to awake. "Word to your mother," the Mayor said. The Viceroy paused caught yet again totally off guard by life. "You wished to see me?" General Tang asked appearing in the doorway. "Yes both of you," The Viceroy sneered regaining his senses. "HEYYY VICEROY," Chill said trying to do a complicated cool "handshake." The Viceroy attempted it but then gave up and knocked him away with a fist. "ENOUGH!" The Viceroy exploded. "I need to speak with you both." "Speak…" Tang invited. "As I understand it, this town's accursed comic book slash gaming stores are in open warfare with each other," The Viceroy outlined. "Whut?" Chill asked. "Do you even pay attention to your own town!" The Viceroy asked furiously. "Hey, law enforcement is the Sheriff's job," Chill answered. "I don't like to mess with the po-po." The Viceroy scowled at him. "Superintendent, these are clearly your students involved, you must take action," The Viceroy said. "We are investigating. We intend to act when the investigation is complete," Tang responded. "What do you need to investigate?" The Viceroy asked. "I can even give you a list of those involved." "Please do," Tang said. "We will act soon."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 253 The Viceroy looked over them. "I will speak to you both, very soon!" he bellowed and stormed out. Tang whirled towards Chill. "Mister Mayor, I suggest you avoid acting now," Tang advised. "Whuh why?" Chill asked overwhelmed by everything. "I suspect this matter will take care of itself, and perhaps, to both of our benefit," Tang explained. "How?" "Would you prefer to run the town with or without being dictated to?" Tang asked. "I want control, I wanna do my own steps," Chill replied. "Then follow my advice," Tang suggested. "Are you gunna challenge, the pompous guy?" Chill asked. "No, I won't have to," Tang said with a sinister smile. Oh yay…

Auditorium. Dave was seated at the front of the burnt out auditorium waiting for the impeachment vote. The entire Student Council had turned out to see him off. The doors swung open and Richard Samuels strode in followed by an entourage of preps and B.S. members. "Ah...look at how you sit there alone. You really thought you could challenge the rightful divine rights of our order," Richard Samuels pompously said. "Rightful divine rights huh," Dave muttered "I can say whatever I want. I am in control here," Samuels replied. "You rock Richie!" Chalky Burrows shouted. "Don't call me Richie," Samuels snapped and moved to the front of the auditorium. "You sir, are a disgrace," he said to Dave. "I have never seen such an annoying specimen of bizarre fashion sense, but most importantly this scum has..." his tone soured. "…completely avoided any alcohol consumption." The crowd hissed. "I assure you all I am quite capable of practicing a lack of good judgment without the need for any foreign substances!" Dave responded defiantly. "All in favor of impeaching him?" Samuels shouted. Most of the council raised their hands. "All opposed?" Samuels said. Two people raised their hands. "And what of you?" Samuels said. The two laughed. "Silly humans," the two said and disappeared in a beam of light. "That was very strange," Samuels said and spun towards Dave.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 254 To his surprise the former President was grinning at him. "Just a reminder," Dave said. "Because of the way our stupid high school constitution is written, I get to be Vice President still." "Really? That's fucking annoying. Now surrender the objects of office!" Samuels shouted. Dave grabbed his backpack and started emptying it. "Here you are…the scepter," Dave said flinging a golden tipped staff into the ground. "The helmet…" He flung a German style World War One infantry helmet into the crowd. "This bowling ball," Dave muttered slamming it onto the table. "NONE OF THOSE ARE OBJECTS OF OFFICE!" Samuels shouted.

Somewhere. Vaux and Vic, revived and healed once again, woke up on a dark soot covered floor. They stood up and brushed the grime off their cheaply constructed clothes. The pungent odor that surrounded them was unmistakably that of dead squirrel. "Where the heck are we?" Vic asked. "No idea," Vaux answered They found that there was a tunnel up ahead lit by torches. An eerie yell echoed down the stone corridor. "Oh great, there's a monster here. Plague put us in one of his lairs or something," Vic groaned. "Great!" Vaux said happily. "Why?" "I love field trips." "But this is some dark demonic dungeon." "Ehh...so what?" Vaux said and headed off in the direction of the yell. "This is a bad idea," Vic asserted and followed.. The yell reverberated down the hall again. "It's coming from down there," Vaux noticed pointing at the end of the hallway. "Then let's not go that way," Vic suggested. "Come now Vic, that's no way to move the plot along is it?" "What plot?" "You don't understand do you?" Vaux asked. "Understand what?" Vic asked in reply. "No, you're still too young," Vaux said. "I'll tell you when you're older." "What?" In the course of the conversation they had reached the bottom of the corridor and were facing a large metal door. The door was fairly simplistic in design but also had runes scrawled all around it. "It must be behind there," Vic stated the obviously. "Well you know how I am with metal doors," Vaux said and grabbed a hold of the doorknob.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 255 Vic tensed. They heard another yell, but Vaux opened the door all the same. They both looked inside. The room was well lit and looked just the same as any normal room. It had four painted walls and several sports posters taped to them. There was one problem. Sitting in the center of the room was Complexity. "ROXXANNNNNNNE! You don't have to turn on the red light!" he sang. Vic and Vaux looked at each other in surprise. Complexity noticed them and stood. "'Bout time you got here assturtles," he said and walked to a closet. He opened it swiftly and grabbed a piece of plywood from inside. He turned to face them and smiled. "Whap whap whap," Complexity recited. The two fled back out the door. He pursued. "I'm going to ply your wood!" Complexity screamed. They quickened their pace.

Downtown Conrad. Edgea lounged on a bench, but noticed she was not alone very quickly. "Well this is a pleasant surprise," she said as Strika Addendum now sat beside her. "Edgea, the one person in this town that seems to have the appropriate attitude," Strika said smiling. "Why thank you, I really do try," Edgea said. "Ice cream?" she asked offering up her cone. "What kind?" "Mint." "Bleh." "More for me," Edgea responded licking it. "So what brings you by my bench?" "Edgea…have you ever given thought to what the right side is?" "Oh my are you trying to turn me?" Edgea asked and laughed. "That's not happening. This is far too much fun." "You sure?" Strika pressed. "Yes," Edgea responded. "Nice of you to ask though. You should reevaluate your choice of sides actually." "You dare?" Strika asked though remaining smiling as she did. "Strika, there are a lot of evils in the world. Fun evil and annoying evil. We're fun evil, the B.S. are annoying evils. The fun evil forces should work together." "Impossible. I will not follow Plague's lead and he will not follow mine," Strika said. "That's too bad," Edgea responded. "Your allies aren't really on the same page." "We have mutual interest." "So how long until you betray them?" Edgea challenged. "What makes you think I will?" Strika asked trying to hold her smile despite her unease. "One of my jobs is to gather information and I'm very good at it," Edgea responded. "You make it difficult, but not impossible," she continued. "Though even without the knowledge at my disposal, it is logical for perhaps more reasons than you realize."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 256 "Try me," Strika dared. "I would be a fool to show all the cards in my hand," Edgea answered. "Though come to think of it if I were you I'd worry more about them betraying you." "Why?" "That I'm happy to answer. Seru may appear to be the heroine of this awfully constructed story…but her two friends recently tried to alter the entire path of the plot line by force and stabbing…also Sebastian has a bunker underground." "We all know about the bunker." "No you don't. Not the Sebastian Room, not the cave where he stashed his scientists, a third bunker that not even Seru knows about." "How do you know she doesn't know about it? What's it for?" "Not telling what it's for, but if Seru knew about it, she would surely destroy it, and likely do something not nice at all to Sebastian…so consider that when you think you know what's going on," Edgea advised with a glare. Strika gave her a last look and vanished.

Parking Garage. Not far away, Samuels waited cautiously as Sagacity's car drove up and parked. She and Chalky exited. Lucio's arrival was by means of dropping from the higher floor and swinging himself in to the lower level through a gap in the outside of the garage. He landed awkwardly and picked himself up. "Bloody hell," he spat and looked them over. "Are you about to make a move?" he asked. "I still don't trust you. I don't care if the Viceroy does," Samuels responded. "Heyyy Lucio's good people. He plays excellent on the bench for us," Burrows said. "Thanks you barmpot," Lucio muttered. "I think we can handle this without your aid," Samuels said. "You can report back whatever you like, but we will succeed." "Bugger! We need to work together on this or we'll probably end up on opposite sides. You know how crazy things have gotten!" Lucio implored. "OH INDEED THEY HAVE!" came another voice. The four whirled. "Bollocks!" Lucio shouted as they realized that not ten feet away stood Sebastian, Prim, and Nei. Sebastian held his nifty laser ray, Prim aimed his eggplant gun, and Nei just stood in a fighting stance as befit his style, though a massive video camera sat beside him. "GOOD GOD!" Samuels shouted. "Well…well…well…" Sebastian said with glee. "This is a truly unexpected development. But really? A parking garage, in the center of town? Did you really not think you'd be discovered?" Chalky made a sudden move. "No sudden moves!" Prim shouted firing an eggplant over his head. Another eggplant replaced it in the chamber of the rifle type weapon.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 257 "Now you are fortunate that I am in a benevolent mood. My silence can be bought," Sebastian said. "You would keep this a secret?" Samuels asked incredulously. "The world is much bigger than your foolish machinations," Sebastian responded. "I will give you an account number and you will have two million dollars wired to it by noon tomorrow." "Two million!" Samuels asked in shock. "I know you have it, so give it to me," Sebastian said. "We have your meeting on film." "FINE!" Samuels snapped. "Two million by tomorrow." "Excellent," Sebastian said. "Do not try to follow us. We have the exits being watched…by fun people!" He lied. The three departed with alacrity. "This is horrible!" Samuels snapped. "It was your idea to meet here BUNGHOLE!" Lucio yelled. "IDIOT!" Sagacity shouted. "Bunghole isn't a British swear…" Chalky noted. "I don't have to swear in Britishy stuff!" Lucio said. "What are we going to do about this! Sebastian cannot be trusted!" "We can't worry about him right now. I will bribe him and if he makes another attempt to extort us I will kill him myself," Samuels responded. "We have our own plans to make." Sebastian's car exited the garage within seconds. "Sebastian are you really sure about this?" Prim asked. "Dealing with them…I mean they're the enemy of enemies here." "I will betray them in due time," Sebastian said. "However the opportunity was there and this money will be very useful." "You go too far sometimes," Nei admonished him. "You would too in my position," Sebastian answered. "What exactly is your position?" Prim queried. "A position that doesn't advertise or explain itself to anyone," Sebastian responded. "Now…let's get tacos." "Tacos approved," Prim replied. The Sebastianmobile moved into a residential area only to be cut off by a purple roadster. "Fuck," Sebastian shouted hitting the brakes. Tarusia vaulted over the driver's side door and walked towards them. "Hey…shithead. Hey Prim, Nei," she greeted. "What do we owe the pleasure?" Sebastian asked. "First of all, you dumbasses didn't notice you were about to be ambushed by about 10 B.S. guards they had placed in various parts of the garage…so you're welcome!" she snapped. "Secondly, what are you trying to pull?" "What we have done is acquired funds from the B.S. to use against them or any of our enemies, eventually, and all for keeping a secret that doesn't matter anyway," Sebastian answered. "How does it not matter?" Tarusia asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 258 "So the B.S. has a spy within our enemies? How does that change what we're doing?" Sebastian said. "We're fighting both of them. Let them destroy each other for all I care," he added. "Yeah I get that," Tarusia answered. "But now you've put a big target on us. For now the B.S. was leaving us alone and focusing on the other stuff. You think that's going to stay that way?" "Samuels probably doesn't want to let his bosses know we got the drop on them, and Lucio is probably in the same position," Prim noted. "Yeah Sebastian is probably fucking this up somehow, but on the other hand…" "I don't need defending," Sebastian cut him off. "Tarusia, hear me out. This could be a good thing. We can use that money to protect ourselves, plus we're messing with people we'd eventually have to mess with all the same." "Do you really think so? The B.S. wasn't doing anything major until the Plague people started moving," Tarusia responded. "If this comes back on you...if it gets Seru or Melody...or even your disappointing accomplices hurt, I will gut you," she threatened. "I should have stopped you but there was no way to really interfere without endangering all of us. You already did it so the cat is out of the bag…but if you fuck this up, I will put you in the bag with cats…so many cats…" "Won't I just feel snugly?" Sebastian asked. "Not these cats…they will scar you up," Tarusia answered. "Repeatedly." "You going to tell…" Nei began. "I should…but that would at this moment cause more problems than it would solve. Come on guys, Seru actually has to believe in you or…what? If we don't have anything positive to do we're just a street gang. That's not what Seru wants. Not what I want either." "Street gangs are growing in popularity," Sebastian responded. She glared at him. "I fell from the sky! Do not question me!" Sebastian shouted. "Night," she snapped and returned to her car.

Chief Executive's Office. Acting Principal Curtiss had made herself a delightful cup of waffle flavored tea and was sipping it swiftly. McGowen, as he seemed to do every few minutes, walked in the door. "So finally we're going to have the ferrets dealt with?" Curtiss asked hopefully. "Yep," McGowen answered. "So where is he?" "Should be here any minute," McGowen responded. Through the portal between the office and the inner office came a woman clad in a gray jumpsuit, knee boots and a large belt filled with gear. "So there's a ferret problem here?" the woman asked. "Are you…The Ferret Hunter?" McGowen asked in surprise. "Ferret Huntress now," she said. "I am who I am. Does that bother you both?" "Not in the slightest! Just want to make sure I address the check to the right person!" McGowen responded shaking her hand. "Now you want some dead ferrets? I got you covered!" The Huntress shrieked and dashed away. A well dressed woman replaced her in the doorway. "Misses Windral?" Curtiss asked. "I resign..." Windral hissed. "This school is doomed!" She pounded the desk and walked out. "Oh...uh...what?" Curtiss said. "She has a point," McGowen said. "I'll have to put her classes into other ones..." Curtiss muttered and started typing at her computer pulling up class lists. McGowen looked over her shoulder. "You don't want to do that," he said. "What? What do you mean? These are the only sections we can put together," Curtiss said. "Trust me you don't want do that." "I don't have a choice."

English Wing. The Hooligans had already taken their seats and were jaw jacking and jibber jabbering away. Rocky and Alan were in the back already gesturing at each other. Zaee and Edgea were beside the Hooligans observing with disdain. Nhightman sat in the middle as well making his seating choice a symbolic irony. Dave's associates came

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 260 out of a stairwell in the middle of the hallway and stomped across the tacky tile, cracking it slightly as they did. The Seru Senshi and Strika emerged from the far stairwell and strode towards the room from the opposite direction. The two sides briefly stared each other down before Seru's group headed in the back door of the classroom and Dave's went in the front door. Plague, Connery and the like all took seats on the right, Seru's group sat at the left. The two sides immediately started watching each other up cautiously. Mister Magec, a moderately tall bearded wise man of a teacher, walked into the room carrying a book under his arm. "Since Misses Windral resigned we have combined two classes. I hope we will be able to make this work," Magec said approaching the board. He turned to face the assemblage for the first time and noticed the tension. "Is shit about to go down?" he asked. "Probably," most of the warring students responded aiming at the other side of the room. "Then let's see how far we get before the carnage ensues," Magec responded and opened up Pride & Prejudice. "Now let's see, where we left off…" he began. A missile streaked from Prim's left arm and flew out the window. Vaux immediately answered the attack by throwing a shoe at him. "Woah woah, accident, be cool be cool!" Prim shouted quickly as the two sides tensed. "You're playing a dangerous game my friend!" Complexity snapped. An explosion could be heard in the distance. "Any idea what that was?" Prim asked weakly. "The seventh hole of the golf course," Stiegg responded looking out the window. "Any…er..casualties," Prim inquired further. "They were assholes," Stiegg revealed. "Ah." "You know who's a real asshole? Wickham. FUCK WICKHAM!" Complexity shouted. "FUCK WICKHAM!" the entire class shouted in unison and looked around in surprise. "Perhaps we aren't all that different," Stiegg posited. "Oh no. We're totally fucking different," Tarusia replied. "Mutual disgust for a disgusting man doesn't wipe away any of the other misdeeds," Melody added. "What they said," Seru added half heartedly not looking up from the paper she was writing on. "What's that?" Melody asked. Seru quickly finished scribbling and handed it to her. She looked it over. "Oh my," Melody said. "That's an interesting angle of...er positioning..." "It just came to me," Seru explained. "So let's talk about some of the class issues in this book," Magec said hopeful the aggression had passed. "Can I have my shoe back?" Vaux asked. "That is a definite no," Sebastian responded. "Not that we want it either, but denying you it is of greater value." "The history of the British Empire is of no matter," Plague bellowed. "There will be only one empire soon enough." "I'm so glad you're coming around to my way of thinking," Strika said with a mischievous smile.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 261 "I am most assuredly NOT!" Plague shouted back. "Get a room you guys," Daman muttered. "Eh?" the rest of the class said in response nearly in unison, followed by imagining and then groans. "Ugh…I just lot my appetite...for writing this…" Seru said folding up the paper and tucking it away. "You dare!" Plague shouted. "Your destiny will face new challenges! Very soon DAMAN!" With that Plague strode from the room. Magec shrugged. "Ya know what, let's just…call it a day, but don't expect this everyday…no matter how violent you get," the teacher said. The two groups fled out off opposite doors as quickly as possible.

Hallway. Another hour passed leading Curtiss and McGowen to held down one of the school's many hallways. "I'm in no hurry to get to this," the Acting Principal admitted. "I grow more and more sick of student government the more I'm exposed to it," Curtiss said walking down the hall. "And now we've got everyone from asshole number 1 to asshole number 27 trying to become the President. When will it end?" "No idea," McGowen answered. "You know my position, just give me those provisions I wanted in the conduct code and things will change." "I will not allow this school to become a police state," she snapped with a glare. "Police states have just gotten a bad rap really," McGowen said. They entered the cafeteria and she approached a microphone set up in front of the crowd. "All right you imbeciles, we've got a lot of candidates to get through so let's get started," Curtiss said. Someone blew on a foghorn. "When I find out who's doing that, you're going down," Curtiss said. Three more foghorns sounded. Curtiss groaned and took a seat nearby. McGowen watched from beside her. The first candidate walked up and adjusted his thick rimmed glasses. "Hello, I am Throckmorten…" the student began. "How unfortunate," Connery said in the audience. "Maybe it's a stage name," Stiegg wondered from beside him. Throckmorten continued. "Anyway...I am in favor of extending school hours so we may learn more," he said. "Rush 'em!" Complexity said. "I second that!" Prim cried from another part of the crowd. Many rushed up, beat Throckmorten repeatedly, and flung him through a window. "Next!" Complexity shouted. "You're not going to stop them?" Curtiss asked McGowen. "I'm sizing up the situation," McGowen responded. "The situation is a student just was flung through the window by a mob!" Curtiss snapped.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 262 "We are monitoring for further developments," the Security Chief asserted. "Yo what up!" the next candidate said picking up the microphone. "You my name is P-Dawg, and I'm in the house. I got a big computer and its gotta mouse. If you wanna go shopping, we can take my car, but not too fast, because I just got it washed...yo what up!" The crowd was silent. "Rush 'em!" Complexity demanded. "Seconded!" Prim yelled again. The same scene was repeated again. Seventeen minutes later... "All right," Curtiss said. "You have all clearly established you are not pleased with the first twenty candidates." She glanced over at the cafeteria windows that were now all shattered. "However, if you will kindly refrain from the window smashing we can finish," Curtiss implored. "The 70's live on in my mind man. So all we're going to do for the next year is party! Disco baby! Vote John Travolta Smith for President." "I don't think he originally had that middle name," Sebastian guessed. "That's my middle name too. Don't knock it," Prim said. He made other movies besides Saturday Night Fever you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, Primary Colors, a Civil Action, but...honestly, he's still the guy from Saturday Night Fever whether you like it or not. Anyway, another candidate had walked up and Smith headed off. "You students are too ignorant to make the right decisions. I am Billy Satan and I will make the decisions for you. Now bow down to me." "Hey! That's my line!" Plague said angrily standing. Billy Satan recoiled. "Oh not you!" he said in shock. "My apologies Lord Plague I...didn't know...uh..." Plague walked up to mic and grabbed Billy Satan by the neck. "You will have an especially painful death," Plague said. "Ehh...I can't think of one though...dammit! Hmm...you will have to wait then!" He waved his hand opening a circular void that dripped bile and screamed the cries of thousands of dead and wandering souls. With his other hand he cast Billy into it and closed the opening with a gracefully swift motion. "How annoying," Plague spat. "What…just...happened?" Curtiss asked. Plague spun at her and McGowen and blasted them. They blinked. "Wasn't there a candidate up there a minute ago?" Curtiss inquired reacting to her lost memory. Aren't you going to get into trouble giving him memory altering powers this much. I already established they don't always work in the previous chapter...

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 263 I'm just warning you. Yet another candidate stepped up to the podium. "Now my fellow brothers and sisters. These are dark times. We must look to god for our guidance and use our Lord Jesus Christ as a stepping stone to prosperity. All God needs is your vote. Vote for Jeremiah Stevens." "No matter where we go there's always evangelists," Sebastian complained. "He's the first to go down when the revolution comes," Prim pledged. "Why wait?" Plague said and Stevens vanished. "Forget creativity." Aren't there any girls running? They're too smart to waste their time on this crap. "How much longer is this gonna go?" Complexity wondered. "Just a few more," Stiegg explained. "Greetings, I am the Skeleton of the October Revolution..." the next candidate said. "NOO!" McGowen yelled and tackled it. "Peaceful resistance is a hallmark of the…" The Skeleton tried to say before McGowen whacked its head off with a swift kick. Security grabbed the head and the rest of the body and dragged it from the room. The next person arrived. "Hey, I'm Funky Charles, that's a nickname. I'm really called Funky Kennely, but hey...who cares right? So let's just do the Student Council thing right...you know what I mean...Funky style. If elected, I will be the man." "You can't be the man, I'm the man!" Complexity howled at him. "I disagree. You both can't be the man, because I'm the man," Connery responded. "So just accept it before you face the consequences." "Peace brothers," Funky said to both of them. "You are fully aware that you are white aren't you?" Connery asked. "Hey...rock on," Funky exclaimed and headed off. Richard Samuels approached the podium. "Oh look who's here, it's Craptain Fucker," Complexity growled. "Craptain?" Stiegg asked. "It's a very special rank reserved for shit Goblins," Complexity explained. "Like the ones Plague uses or…" Stiegg started to ask. "No no, they just work in shit. That is not their clan or species name," Plague clarified. Samuels smiled and began. "I am going to lead this school to greatness because I know what it needs to become great. I've been here for three years. I know this school like the back my hand. We can move forward and do better, but I need your help and your vote," he said. Many in the crowd broke out into cheers. "That isn't good," Stiegg responded. "Agreed," Connery added. "It seems the mentality of the student body has reached a new level of ignorance." "The populace...they deserve my reformation!" Plague boomed. "Now more than ever!"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 264 "Yeah! Reform their asses!" Complexity shouted. "Soon, very soon," Plague promised.

Men's Lavatory. Nhightman found himself with Vic in the vacant restroom. "Ok so we went to the bathroom at the same time. What do you want?" Nhightman demanded. "Nhightmen I need to talk to you," Vic said urgently. "It's Nhightman, now what the hell is it?" Nhightman responded. "You have to get Connery and Plague to call off this attack on Fecicorp." "Are you daft?" "NO! This is a threat to all of us," Vic said with deep concern. "Fecicorp is a part of a larger network. I haven't put all the pieces together but I know it," Vic said. "If we attack Fecicorp it'll be like blowing up a tree filled with bee's nests. We'll get the tree, but we'll also be overwhelmed by bees." "That happen to you a lot?" Nhightman asked. "More than it should!" Vic said. "There's no way Connery or Plague will listen to me, but they might listen to you." "There's zero chance of that," Nhightman responded. "I'll get you more proof," Vic said. "Go ahead, but you know they don't listen to people."

Vice President's Office. The Seru Senshi en masse stormed into the room to find it empty. "Unexpected," Seru lamented. Dave wandered in the now open door past them all and sat at his desk. "Yeah..." he muttered, opened a drawer, and proceeded to leaf through a manga about a trio of high school girls and their flying bear. "I see my successor candidates are all terrible," he added. "We want you to authorize the cafeteria for a club meeting once a week," Seru began. "Cafeteria usage is a special category of request," Dave said continuing to read the manga as if he wasn't in a room filled with numerous enemies at once. "It requires the Principal to agree." "Convince her then," Tarusia urged. "In a few days this will be someone else's problem," Dave responded. "That's why we're threatening you now," Melody pointed out. Dave left them waiting while he finished a page. "Predictable but the art's good," he said and closed the volume placing it on the desk before answering. He thumbed a trap door and watched Sebastian yet again tumble through it. "DAMMMIT!" the genius shouted as he slipped through the portal.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 265 "Now that we've got that out of the way, what club are you planning to have meet there?" he asked. "The gaming club. Since every gaming store in town is rubble right now, we want to meet in the cafeteria," Seru explained. "Fine but one condition. I need a favor from you," Dave said. "Other than us letting you live?" Tarusia asked. "Yes other than that," Dave answered. "What is it?" Seru asked. "I'll tell you and only you," Dave said. "This could be a trap," Melody noted. "Keep watch from outside," Seru suggested. The other four looked cautiously at each other. "Go ahead," Seru urged. The four did so and waited outside. "What is it?" Seru asked holding her sword wand at the ready. "My narrative is out of control," Dave said. "Help me fix it." "Oh no. This is your mess to fix," Seru quickly answered. "Besides if I helped you, there'd be a lot of people making out with each other right now." "Would that increase the readership?" "Immensely," Seru replied. "But no, I'm not going to untangle this for you." "Then help me with one thing," Dave pleaded. "What?" "Lucio is a double agent...actually a triple agent, and I have no clue how to resolve this," Dave added. "How do you even interact with yourself out there?" Seru wondered. "I thought your character inside had limited knowledge compared to your author self." "I don't know, apparently like you can see my punctuation errors #...it's like that but you just said you aren't going to untangle my messes." "I guess. Why is there a pound sign?" Seru wondered. "I don't know!" Dave exclaimed. "Lucio is a triple agent. Who else is he working for?" Seru questioned. "I'm not sure, I think he's working for us, and he's working the government, but I also think he's working for one of the enemies, but I can't prove it, because as you say I don't know everything, except when it's supposed to be funny," Dave said. "This is awful. I'm going to slice your desk apart," Seru muttered and did so with one swing of her sword. "I probably deserved that," Dave responded. "Now that you mention it..." Seru trailed off. "I had suspected Sebastian of ...being Sebastian...and had Diusqa follow him with one of her little creatures. She mentioned that he had followed Lucio to a parking garage. Unfortunately I had too much work to do last night and couldn't look into it more. I'll see what I can find out...and then...maybe just maybe this will resolve itself, leaving you only forty other plot holes. How many chapters do you have left anyway?"

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 266 "After this, three." "Good lord...you're screwed," Seru said and headed out of the office.

Electronics Room. "Now look, when dealing with accountants it is important not to let them see you smile, because then it's all over," Complexity was saying as he walked in followed by Lucio. "But Complexity, what are you talking about?" Lucio asked. Complexity looked around cautiously. Plague and Connery watched the two with annoyance. "Complexity, do you have the plutonium?" Connery questioned. "Ah, that I do," Complexity answered and placed a large lead box on a table. "I'm curious, where'd you get this?" Plague asked. "Like all of my possessions, I found it lying in a ditch," Complexity answered. "That I will believe," Plague said. "Plutonium...I see..." Lucio said looking over everything suspiciously. "But you won't remember!" Connery shouted before chopping Lucio in the back of the head. The boy dropped hard to the floor. "Memory drain time, though perhaps I can try a new technique…and make it impossible for him to figure out anything else about this operation through careful mind suggestion," Plague said. "Good plan. Will it work?" Connery queried. "I'm not sure," Plague admitted. Connery moved to his computer and pressed a few buttons. "I've inserted a virus into the Fecicorp computer system. It will slowly move through the entire network and once that is done will allow us to destroy Fecicorp's perimeter defenses at any time. It will happen so quickly they will not the detect the problem until is already too late." "I thought you were against an outright attack," Plague said.. "I am. However, I've realized that there were very few options open to us that would fully destroy the corporation in the way a full fledged attack would, and none of those options were any fun," Connery outlined. "I can understand your hesitation however. I would not have already made preparations for such an action if I didn't believe it was the best course to take," Plague said. "I agree," Connery said. "But we must let the virus do its work first, then we can strike, otherwise it will get messy." "Indeed, continue with the operation. I must retire to my lair to find out just how to deal with our other problems." Vic and Vaux wandered in. "Hey everybody!" Vaux shouted. "Do you not have anything better to do than bother us with your existence?" Plague snapped. "The Vauxmobile's in the shop…both of them actually. Too much physical contact with roadside attractions you know," Vaux said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 267 "And besides, what you guys do is so interesting," Vic said. "I mean, when it's a choice between paddling down the Connecticut River in oil drums or seeing you guys doing what you do... there's no contest." "I assure you though, that someday you will go down that river in oil drums," Connery said. "Most likely with between seventeen and twenty-four stab wounds in both of you." "That's the seventh time we've heard that today," Vic said in surprise. "From different people?" Connery asked. "Yeah," Vaux said. "Maybe there's something to it." Connery and Plague shared a look. "Ehh...you guys are going to have other problems," Complexity mumbled. "Like recovering from the beating I'm going to give you with this exit sign!" Complexity held out the green object of his description. "Ah, Exit 5D. Wethersfield," Vaux said in reverence. "We shall have no fighting here," Plague muttered. "I grow weary of your linear combat." "Vaux World Order," Vaux said. Vic made a gesture towards him and they started posing and making strange gestures. "Stop that!" Plague shouted and blasted them both with liquid nitrogen he had produced with his finger. The two froze in place. Connery picked up a hammer, flipped it in the air, caught, and smashed the pair to pieces. "Connery, that was hardly creative," Plague criticized. "I'm going to reverse that." The pieces of Vic and Vaux were quickly put back together. "Hmm...harmonics perhaps?" Connery said. "No," Plague said. "Ricochet?" Plague shook his head. "Ax?" Connery asked. "Hmm..." Plague said. "You know there must be some creative way to do this, but I'm having killer's block." "Me too," Connery admitted. "Let's try to walk it off," Plague suggested. "Very well," Connery said. "You two come with us!" Plague ordered Complexity and Lucio. . The four then headed out the door leaving the nitrogenized Vic and Vaux alone.In a flash of pink and black Thorium, Strika Addendum appeared. "What do we have here?" She asked and waved her hand causing Vic and Vaux to revive. "Wow, what happened?" Vic asked. "I don't know nor care, but I'm sure I've interfered in something Plague was doing so I'm happy," Strika replied and disappeared. "Weird," Vaux said.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 268 Seconds later Prim dropped from the ceiling and clubbed both of them over the head. Sebastian and Nei joined him. "Finally we get an opportunity to find out what is going on here," Sebastian said "It only took seven tries," Prim muttered. "Silence," Sebastian said and headed for the secret passage to the command center. He swung open the cabinet door and examined inside. He pulled a small device out of his pocket and fiddled with it. The door to the passage opened. "Did it. Come gentlemen!" he said. The two followed him down the passage entering a surprisingly empty Command Center. It wasn't long before Sebastian found a computer console and quickly hacked into it with a little pluggy device…little pluggy device? I don't know how this stuff works! "You going to do this quickly or what?" Prim asked. "We don't want to get caught down here." "Too late for that!" came a shout. The three whirled. Mysterious Zak, Zaee and Edgea stood at the entrance of the Command Center holding ray guns in their hands. "Looks like the kittens are out without their mittens," Zak taunted. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Nei shouted.

Command Center Still. Sebastian backed away from the console. "Everyone be cool," Prim urged. "We are nothing but cool," Zak said. "You rebel scum!" A colored light hit them from behind and flung them across the room. They all hit the floor and fell unconscious. "You three should be more careful," Tarusia said as she walked in followed by Seru and Melody. "Enough of your critiques! I am into the system," Sebastian said returning to the computer. "This place really gives me a bad feeling," Melody mentioned. "As it should," Prim said. "A lot of bad things go on in here." "Melody, can you wipe those three's memories?" Seru asked pointing to the three unconscious minions in the corner. "Sure," Melody replied and started casting a spell. Oh so she can wipe memories too? Plot holes will follow. SOOO MANY plot holes. "Too bad you can't wipe out the computer scans that said you came in here," Nhightman said appearing in the doorway. The group all spun. "But I sorted that out," he added with a half grin. "No one will ever know you were here." "Ah hah!" Sebastian shouted. "I've found it." "Good. Then let's get out of here," Nei urged. "Right right, all set," Sebastian agreed. "From what I've found I wouldn't be too worried. Connery and his group are merely doing what we were going to do a month from now anyway." "Fecicorp?" Prim asked. Sebastian nodded. "Ah, then that's just good luck then," Nei mentioned. "Let them have it." "What are you all talking about?" Seru asked suspiciously. "Stuff," Nei, Prim, and Sebastian answered in unison. "One thing by the way," Nhightman began. "I don't know if you guys trust me or not…" "Yes," the girls said. "No," the guys said. "The thing is, they're actually thinking of stopping the fighting because shit's about to get real." "How real? When?" Seru queried. "In days, maybe hours, maybe weeks…" Nhightman started to answer.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 270 "Good range you're laying out there. It's good to cover all the bases. Do you want to drop in solar and lunar years while you're at it?" Sebastian snidely asked. Nhightman glowered at him. "I can literally hurt you with just one jab to your elbow. It'll feel like I stabbed your lung," Nhightman threatened. "Impressive, but you won't ever reach my elbow," Sebastian countered. "How about we let him finish explaining," Melody suggested. "Soon…" Nhightman said and grabbed a ruler from nearby and swung it at Sebastian. His ally quickly dodged it. "Soon they will attack Fecicorp HQ in force, and presumably this will provoke some sort of response!" Nhightman shouted continuing to swing at Sebastian who had evaded to a different corner of the room. "What kind of response?" Seru asked. "Depends on how successful the initial attack of ours is, but if they can respond, it could be huge." "Why is this a good idea?" Tarusia inquired. "It's not necessary a good idea. But if we don't get them, they'll get us," Sebastian responded grabbing the ruler. "HAH!" he shouted and sliced the top off of it with a letter opener. Nhightman tried to drop kick him, but Sebastian ducked and scurried to another part of the command center. Nhightman stopped pursuing. "Fine fine…whatever for now, fuck it," he said. "Let's find the villains and sort this out," Seru suggested. "Ah yes…but the villains have found you!" Connery announced with a grin as he and Plague walked in followed by others. The Seru Senshi tensed. "However as we are on the same page, let us begin the negotiations rather than the bloody carnage," Plague bellowed. "I despise that I uttered those words. Fuck my life."

Castle Conrad. Not long afterward the Byzantine Sons were in consultation. "Ah Samuels, what do you have to report?" The Viceroy asked. "Thanks to the lack of any real competition, I won the runoff to narrow down the field of candidates. My only opponent now is Funky Charles, who I assure you I will have no trouble defeating. We debate tomorrow," Samuels responded. "Funky? Charles?" The Viceroy queried with disgust. "Yes, he's white. Don't worry victory is assured," Samuels said. "You had better be right," The Viceroy snarled. "Go." Samuels exited. "Things are worse there than I thought," The Viceroy said. "Perhaps it's best to drop a neutron bomb on the place and start over." "Ah...but where would you get one?" came a voice.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 271 "Where are you?" The Viceroy snapped. "Right here," the voice answered as holographic projection of Connery complete with his trademark sarcastic grin on his face faded into view. "How are you doing that!?" The Viceroy challenged. "Not telling," Connery said. "All this talk about a neutron bomb. Just what makes you think we don't have one?" "You wouldn't dare use it if you did," The Viceroy replied. "Besides our arsenal is stronger than yours." "Perhaps. Perhaps not," Connery said with a smile. "Though I would reconsider tussling with us right now. We're very rowdy people and we're extremely dangerous. I would hate to have your beautiful mansion district sink into the ground if I were to say liquidate the Earth's mantle below you." "Just what do you want?" The Viceroy sneered. "The joy of annoying you is enough," Connery said and the hologram disappeared.

Back at Conrad High. Much later, Lucio crept down a darkened hallway in the largely vacant school. He looked around cautiously and was thus utterly shocked to find Dave slide into his path. "Uh...hi," Lucio said. "Lucio," Dave said coldly. "Dave?" "Come with me." "Why?" "I'll be your best friend." Lucio looked at Dave cautiously. "Are you going to kill me?" Lucio asked. "Or should I say attempt to kill me?" "Lucio, we're friends," Dave said with a sinister smile. "Eh...eh..." Lucio responded. "Come, we have mighty work to do." "Wha?" Lucio despite his hesitation followed the author towards the building exit as the lights thematically shut off behind him.

Day 14.

Auditorium. Most of the students had crammed into the burnt out auditorium for the next stage in the foolish process, the Presidential debate. Stiegg moved onto the stage as the far wall collapsed allowing a gust of wind to sweep across the students. They let out various annoyed shouts but acclimated quickly. The two candidates sat behind the dumpy student council table on stage awaiting the start of the nonsense.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 272 "Uh...hi..." Stiegg said into a microphone. "I'm Stiegg, your moderator for the debate." "Stiegg! Do the Stiegg thing!" Complexity shouted from the first row. "Uh...what?" Stiegg asked. "Come on!" Complexity yelled and gave a thumbs up. "Uh...whatever," Stiegg said. "I...uh...we'll just get started. The two candidates that we narrowed it down to were Richard Samuels, representing the B.S. party...and his opponent Funky Charles...representing the Hot...Sucker...party...for some reason." "Let's give it up for the hot suckers in this house!" Charles hollered. A great many students cheered. "I shouldn't be surprised, but I still am," Connery muttered. "Okay, first question," Stiegg began. "What will be your number one priority as President?" "Ah...excellent question," Samuels said. "My first priority is to restore to this school the respect it has lost under previous administrations. We should be proud to go to Conrad High School!" Many clapped. "Well...you know, I think my number one priority is meeting women...and so I will do whatever is necessary to meet some...cause I know what's it like," Charles said. "You've got to be kidding," Samuels replied. "We need real answers, not stupidity. I'm all for meeting women, but come on! Get your mind out of the gutter." "Uh...let's move on," Stiegg said. "Next question. What is your view on school activities?" "I am a strong supporter of all activities, and the right of students to express themselves," Samuels said. "I am all for more funding of clubs," he added. "Hey...you know...what I like is school activities where I'm the man," Charles said. "Now let's do the wild thing." He stood up as music sounded from somewhere, and he began to dance. Stiegg sighed. "Hey...you suck," Complexity quipped and ran up on stage. He soon began to dance as well. "Oh yeah?" Charles asked and did a split. "Screw you," Complexity answered and matched the split and began to jam. "Uh...Complexity," Stiegg tried to interrupt. "Take this juckheimer!" Complexity shouted and tackled Charles. The two began to fist fight. [Great, my victory is assured.] Samuels thought. It took security a few minutes but they eventually pulled Charles and Complexity apart. "You wanna rumble?" Charles asked. "Meet me at the docks tonight!" "You got it!" Complexity said. "Conrad doesn't have any docks," Plague observed. "I'll be curious to see what happens when they both realize that," Connery remarked. "But not that curious." "Hmm...I must go anyway," Plague announced. "She is waiting," he sneered and vanished.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 273 "Uh...let's try to finish this," Stiegg said. "Right on!" Charles cheered. A car skidded up, jumped the curb, slid in through the now gaping hole in the wall, and came to rest near some seats. It turned out to be the Vice Presidential Hatchback. Dave hopped out of the passenger seat and raced for the stage, bounding up the stairs and sliding to Stiegg's side. "What's going on?" Stiegg asked. "Let me talk for a second," Dave said. "What is this?" Samuels snapped. Dave grabbed the microphone. "Hey Dave's back!" Someone shouted. A barrage of bookcases flew at him. Dave ducked. "Not now people. This is important. Here in my hand is a file which contains proof that not only is Samuels a liar, but an enemy of Conrad High School," Dave said. "What? Impossible?" Samuels said nervously. "Is it? Is it not true that very recently you traveled to Welles High School, to make a little deal with the people there?" Dave asked. "I don't know what you mean," Samuels responded stoically. "Don't you? Is it not true that you stole the school's pasta recipe and gave it to Welles students in exchange for a case of beer?" Dave pushed. The pasta at Conrad High was the only thing that was both safe to consume as well as tasty. The students treasured it. Ok…cool? "You're lying!" Samuels said nervously. "Am I? Hasn't everyone noticed the pasta doesn't taste as good?" Dave asked the crowd. "Yeah!" Most cried back. "You're welcome to look at the invoice here for the beer bought with a fake I.D. by a Welles Student Council member who charged it to their budget. Their records say it was to 'Buy pasta recipe from Richard Samuels.' I have the receipt," Dave continued. "Where'd he get such a ludicrous thing?" Connery asked. "Real long story," Lucio said sitting down next to the others "I mean, most people think Dave is relatively even keeled. He's not, trust me. We were in Albany. It was nuts." "Albany? Never mind that, but just how did he drag you on this trip?" Connery said. Lucio held up beef jerky. "The trip was still worth it," he said and took a bite. "That receipt could have been forged," Samuels shouted defensively. "Ah...but it wasn't," Dave said. And? And what? Well what convinces anyone it isn't forged?

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 274 I don't care. "This is foolish," Samuels said. The crowd advanced angrily. "No! You don't understand," Samuels screamed before much of the student body rushed up onto the stage. Not long afterward an announcement flared across the school. "This is Acting Principal Curtiss. The Student Council election results are in. The top vote getter is Homer Simpson. He will be unable to serve however because he is a FUCKING CARTOON YOU IMMATURE PISSANTS! Ahem, after sorting through all the other votes, your winner eventually is Funky Charles. Here he is..." "HEY!" Charles shouted. "Let's rock Funky style, feel that groove!" "YOU'RE WHITE DAMMIT!" most of the school shouted back. "Hey! Don't be 'dissin the Funky train...it's on the track to soul!"

Temporary Office of the Student Council President. Funky soon looked over what was usually the Vice Presidential office with a mix of disgust and hope. "Yeah they'll rebuild the President's Office someday, in the meantime enjoy this," Dave said. "I…dunno man," Funky said unsurely. "Don't I have a helicopter or something?" "Not anymore," Dave responded. "Oh." "Congrats Mister President, it all goes down hill from here," Dave taunted and exited. He walked down the main stairwell and approached the lobby staring at the ground. "What a frustrating day," he said to himself. "HOLD IT!" came a cry. He searched for the origin and found it in Chalky Burrows and Sagacity Lewiston who now blocked his path. "You may have stopped Samuels but you haven't stopped the B.S.!" Lewiston yelled. "You're attacking me out in the open?" He asked in surprise. "Yes! The B.S. doesn't appreciate this, so we're going to give you an early graduation," Lewiston said trying to sound dangerous. "Right. I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you. YEAHHHH!" Burrows shouted. Who the hell cares? I'm beginning to see your point. Chalky and Lewiston both pulled a couple of swords from their belts because that makes sense… "Ah...so it will be the sabres then," Dave remarked and was handed his own sword by a retainer. Wha... "Dave, stand aside, you'll hurt yourself," Jameson interrupted and strode forward. He tossed his trench coat aside with a mighty heave and drew his sword. "Works for me," Dave admitted.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 275 "So you wish you to test your sword skills," Jameson bantered. "I will prove to be quite the challenge!" "Two on one? You're outnumbered!" Lewiston snapped. "Oh but he's not!" Zero said swinging through the glass lobby window on a rope and dropping to Jameson's side. The two nodded at each other. Burrows lunged at Jameson, but the main character moved with precision, and whapped Borrows with the hilt of his sword dropping him. Lewiston flipped to her right and readied her sword but Zero was more than prepared for her attempt. The Spaniard used her momentum to swing his weapon upward flinging her over him and into a wall knocking her out cold. She lay sprawled across the dingy carpet. "Farewell," Zero said and ran unremarkably out the front door. "Nice work, thank you," Dave said. "But what are you doing here anyway?" "Didn't you hear? Plague and Strika Addendum just started fighting. They blew the remnants of Serpent's Cavern apart before realizing what was going on. After that there was no point in hanging around so they moved to the astral plane or something to settle things…I don't even get it." Well that was great tension wasn't it? I don't know about you, but I was sweating. Wow! What action! Just shut up.

The Astral Plane. Plague and Strika Addendum floated in a swirling whirlpool of green and black mist. Bits of light flickered in and out as if thousands of fireflies were drifting through the ether with the two hated foes. "I assure you I will win. I am more experienced," Plague boasted. "Experience doesn't make up for not having enough power," Strika replied. The two slowly built their power as hours passed. The astral plane was not as susceptible to being affected like the skies in China had been so the mood setting environmental effects were nonexistent. Plague glowed as wisps of dark clouds swished around him. A pink aura surrounded Strika growing every brighter. Another three hours passed. Their godlike powers swelled inside both in a way they never had before. Finally it was time. "Now…" Plague declared. "Sure," Strika replied. This climactic moment was interrupted when a sensation rippled across both of them suddenly. "What?" they both exclaimed losing their focus. "Another stone!" they shouted in unison again. "But where?" "Stop that!" they each shouted. Their energies had weakened due to the distraction. "I don't have time for this!" Plague snapped. "Another time then," Strika said. Seconds later they appeared on a table at Serpent's Cavern. Of course the store was practically nonexistent. Only two or three tables at odd angles existed, and there were no walls, only rubble. Tamrisu and some other players glanced at the two. "Long time no see," Tamrisu growled sitting atop a throne of mangled shelving.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 276 Command Center. "I don't understand, how did you get Lucio to help you with this? It wasn't just beef jerky," Connery pressed. "Thanks to information provided to be by unnamed parties I learned Lucio was working for the B.S," Dave replied. "We already knew that," Connery retorted. "Did you now..." Dave muttered. "Lucio was in a difficult position, his employers with the government apparently needed him to do something that was the exact opposite of what the B.S. desired. His only way out was if I rewrote a paragraph. He had no choice. If he didn't play ball one of the two sides was going to kill him with… murder." "The rules of this damn universe make no sense, you are a terrible person," Connery answered. "Perhaps," Dave responded. "We knew of Lucio's disloyalty, but I suspect it is not his fault. I would imagine that the B.S. have their own techniques to brainwash people. Nonetheless it is far more useful to us to have him right where he is," Connery exposited. "Why? Isn't he reporting back everything you're doing?" Dave questioned. "No, that's the beauty of it. We are using a combination of long term suggestion and short term...er blasts to the head to keep him in line. Obviously if he reports back nothing is happening they will suspect, but we are able to shape his knowledge, making him believe projects are not that far along or targeted in the wrong places, et cetera. Part of the reason we have discussions openly when we absolutely don't have to," Connery explained. "So he reports back misinformation, the B.S. thinks they know what's going on and then doesn't." "Correct." "Brilliant." "It really is. When we moved Lucio through time it was cover. Believe it or not time travel is nearly impossible, Plague had to prepare for a month to exert just that amount of energy to move him minutes, all for the sake of giving others the impression Plague is even more powerful than he is, but while Lucio was in transit Plague was able to mess with him and he didn't notice because his time stream was messed up in the first place." Stiegg entered through one of the many doors and wandered to the desk. He noted Zak, Zaee, and Edgea looked annoyed. "What's wrong?" He asked. "We got our asses kicked," Edgea muttered. "Happens to all of us," Stiegg said. "Maybe to you!" Zaee snapped. "Enough. Your inattention can be remedied in the next altercation," Connery said. "Now the only thing left to do before our next offensive is to neutralize Fecicorp's access to several ICBM launch sites in the U.S." "Uh...wouldn't that be a thing to do first?" Dave asked. "I couldn't get access to it until I have destroyed the rest of their network!" Connery replied. "I'll do my job, and you do yours, whatever the hell it is." Dave shrugged. "There. Done," the scientist added.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 277 "What exactly is a fertilizer corporation doing with access to ICBM codes anyway?" Stiegg questioned. "It's a long story, but they've got them, and they could use them to blackmail the U.S. Government. Well...not anymore," Connery explained. "Why would they want to blackmail the U.S. Government?" Stiegg asked. "JING!" Complexity shouted and jumped up on a console. The others looked at him with minimal surprise. He pointed at each of them and then went and sat in the corner. Plague appeared in a black cloud of Californium. "What is the status?" he thundered. "How'd the battle go?" Connery asked. "Not important...status?" "We just nixed their launch codes. Now Fecicorp is completely vulnerable. And now you can launch your attack Plague," Connery responded smiling sadistically. "I already have. The missiles were launched from my North Dakota facility thirteen minutes ago," Plague said. "Are you going to kill all those innocent people? Stiegg asked. "No one in there is innocent, they are all evil, we checked," Connery responded. "How could you possibly know that?" Stiegg responded. "We looked through their human resources files. Despite our desire for destruction the death of innocents might attract unwanted attention so we were careful. They had a thorough screening process," Connery explained. "O…k…" Stiegg said in horror. "Isn't this exciting?" Complexity asked. "What?" Dave replied. "The attack. Isn't it exciting?" "Yeah, sure it is," Dave muttered and turned back to reading a political magazine. "Ooo...those conservatives," Stiegg said shaking his fist reading over his shoulder. "Now wait just a damn minute! You're telling me that an attack on a corporate headquarters isn't more exciting then reading a liberal political magazine!" Complexity shouted. "Pretty much," Stiegg said. "Yeah, I wrote the plot. Nothing is really that exciting to me," Dave said. Or the readers… "Then you can go to hell," Complexity muttered. "So what about the battle?" Connery pressed. "It is hard to explain. I was about to win, and then I felt something...that I hadn't felt since...no...never mind. I will handle it," Plague muttered.

The Sebastian Room. "It seems that Connery and Plague's forces of evil are about to take out Fecicorp for good," Nei reported staring at a computer readout.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 278 "A pity we weren't involved, but then again, less work for us," Sebastian commented. "If those guys are out to eliminate all of the competition in the world domination field won't we eventually be their next major target for all those forces of theirs?" Prim wondered. "Probably," Sebastian admitted. "Fortunately we continue to be prepared." "Have you seen what they're throwing at Fecicorp though? There is a giant wave of missiles traveling west to east, and Plague himself is lurking," Nei responded. "You forget Fecicorp is nowhere near as prepared for magical and other forms of unconventional combat. We are ready for such attacks. Most of the CP forces would fall before our first wave." "CPs?" his two friends queried. "It simplifies saying Connery and Plague," Sebastian explained. "In a stupid way to do it," Nei said. Prim nodded in agreement. "The point is that we'll be fine," Sebastian said. "If we continue to get ready and use those scientists of ours to full advantage." "Has anyone fed them lately?" Nei asked.

Fecicorp World Headquarters. Purchase, New York. The alarm sounded to warn of the approaching missiles, but it was far too late. Within seconds the building had been leveled. Lord Plague appeared in the air and floated over the debris. A few survivors pulled themselves from the rubble and tried to get away. He swooped down towards them and flicked gray daggers in their direction watching as they dropped and were still. With the matter settled he started collecting souls...

Command Center. "Hey...wait a minute," Edgea uttered. The rest of the group, who were playing Gow nearby, stopped and looked at her. "What is it?" Stiegg asked. "Asking questions," Complexity said and threw a card at him. "I don't need this, I'm going to the Student Council meeting!" Stiegg shouted and climbed into the elevator. "You remember when we hacked in to the Fecicorp computer system and downloaded all that information?" Edgea continued. "Ya know how it was taking us a long time to analyze?" "Go on," Connery said. "One of our algorithms just connected the CEO of Fecicorp to the Byzantine Sons," Edgea said. Wow! Surprise plot twist...way to go you dumb ass. "So what does this mean?" Lucio asked. Alarms sounded throughout the command center. "Perimeter Alert...Perimeter Alert...Watch Your Asses. Asses," it blared. "On screen," Connery said. To their surprise a man in a business suit was walking across the athletic fields. A man who looked exactly like the CEO of Fecicorp.

Command Center. "Impossible," Zak uttered. "Nothing is impossible with science," Connery remarked. Plague appeared in a puff of Darmstadtium. "A clone of Fecicorp's CEO?" Plague muttered looking at the screen. "Of course...that explains it all." "Explains what?" Connery queried. "No time to explain!" Plague responded and vanished in a mist of human tears.

The Roof. Plague reappeared and floated down to the rooftop. He looked out over the surrounding area cautiously. Seconds later Strika Addendum appeared next to him. "So you figured it out too huh?" She asked. "Yes..." "Truce for now?" she asked. He nodded angrily. The two readied some attacks and launched them. Two beams, one black, one pink, shot at their target. The clone glanced at their efforts and then stuck up his hand. The light dissipated. "It's as I feared," Plague said grimly. "He has the Stone of Tardor," Strika added. "With that he has the power to face us!" How's that for plot? Ehh...what? I was brushing my teeth. The two demi-gods dropped to the ground. The CEO clone grinned. "Oh yes, you managed to destroy my company and my original copy, but you won't destroy me!" the clone of Quince Feci declared. He grew to be seven feet tall and his skin turned brown. "I am blessed with the power of this stone AND the power of fertilizer!" Feciclone shouted. Strika and Plague's eyes narrowed.

Auditorium. The wall had yet to be repaired from the day before but the Student Council meeting was underway. "So...uh...okay...this is the meeting," Funky Charles said. "I'm the President. How's it going all you hot suckers?" The Student Council just stared at him. Surprisingly, the entire group, except Dave and Stiegg, had come out for the first day of the Charles administration. "Uh...okay...let's do some stuff," he suggested.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 280 Seconds later the inside of auditorium was hit with a massive stray green wave.

Conrad High School Parking Lot. "See my power!" Feciclone bellowed. Plague and Strika floated off at an angle after avoiding the assault that had just hit the auditorium. "You build up your power, I'm going to keep him occupied," Strika suggested. "Fair enough!" Plague barked. Strika glided downward flinging pink lightning bolts. The Feciclone whirled towards her and let loose a barrage of green balls. She turned and dodged most of them, though one or two clipped her and exploded. She winced as sharp pain, a rare sensation, hit her. The Feciclone spun back to target Plague, but she slid in his path and at close range grabbed a lightning bolt in her hand and jabbed it into his chest. The Feciclone laughed and whacked her backwards with his left arm while pulling out the bolt with his right hand. He winced slightly. "You'll have to do better than that," he growled. She glowed pink and surged at him. He threw her back with another green wave. She tumbled into the auditorium and stood up noticing it was filled with plants where the Student Council had once been. "Ugh, disgusting," she noted, but flew back out only to nailed with a brown lance nearly immediately. "Fucking hell," she exclaimed dropping to the ground consumed with pain. "Enough!" Plague bellowed and unleashed a dark hurricane from his palms. It swirled across the parking lot at the Feciclone. "NOOOO!" the Feciclone screamed and whirled shooting yet another green barrage. The counter attack blunted the cyclone and slowed it. "Dammit," Plague spat pushing the hurricane against the wave. "You are but children and I am a man!" Feciclone shouted. Strika stood back up, the brown lance was still embedded in her side. A giant pink beam exploded from her hands causing her to scream out at the exertion. It crashed through fifteen or so cars but hit the Feciclone in the previous wound she had created. He gasped and lost his focus. The hurricane enveloped him and he shrieked before it ripped him apart spewing brown debris across the parking lot. "We're better than that fool any day!" Strika exclaimed victoriously and pulled the lance out, hoping she could heal quickly. "We apparently vaporized the stone as well," Plague complained in realization. "Guess we'll never prove who is better," Strika said with annoyance. "Maybe not that way, but some way," Plague vowed and headed back inside the school. Strika shrugged and dematerialized. A figure walked out into the lot and waited as one of the Stones of Rhigarr recrystallized out of dust. They picked it up and put it into their pocket.

Command Center. "What was all that hollering about?" Connery asked as Dave and Stiegg walked in. "The auditorium was hit with an energy attack," Plague answered as he materialized. "The whole Student Council except Dave and I were in there, they were all turned into plants by some

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 281 strange attack from that fertilizer guy," Stiegg said. "Why weren't you in there too?" Connery wondered. "I was in the bathroom," Stiegg admitted. "I don't give a crap about those jerks anymore," Dave explained. "But if the entire Student Council was turned into plants except the two of us…and I'm ineligible…guess what Stiegg…you're President!" "Me?" Stiegg asked. "Bring out the sword!" Connery shouted. Mysterious Zak emerged with a sword in his hand. "Kneel!" Connery shouted. Stiegg did as he was asked. Connery raised the weapon and swung it downward. "AH!" Stiegg shouted rolling out of the way as the blade kept dropping. "You learn quickly Mister President," Connery quipped gleefully.

Castle Conrad. "Sir...the Lord Regent is here," a servant announced through a gap in the door. "He is?" The Viceroy asked in shock. "Enough!" came a stern voice. The Lord Regent, the national leader of the B.S., strode in dressed in an immaculate Napoleonic uniform complete with gold lined scarlet cape, and a sword three times the length of any normal blade. His hair was blonde and long, and luscious in fact, too luscious to be wasted on such a villain. "Sir!" The Viceroy shouted springing up and hurrying to bow. "Spare me! What is going on in this town? We just lost Fecicorp. It was a valuable source of B.S. revenue! What's worse is this was caused by students at a mere high school. Not to mention a high school which we have just lost three more of our operatives at...and I have heard of the AP phenomenon..." "Uh...well..." "Well nothing. I am taking over here for the time being!" the Lord Regent growled. "What are you planning?" The Viceroy asked. "We must deal with this Conrad High School. They believe that they've destroyed all of Fecicorp. They missed a few things...and now that's going to lead to their end. However, I have another surprise for them." "You do?" "Yes, now come with me," The Lord Regent demanded. Oh wow, the AP phenomenon makes it triumphant return to the plot. How many chapters has it been? The narrative structure is… Bullshit.

Electronics Room. Connery, Plague, Dave, Stiegg, Jameson, Tamrisu, Complexity, and Nhightman were all sitting around a table drinking birch beer. "To Fecicorp being no more," Plague said raising a glass. "You bet," Connery said raising his own. Everyone partook in the silly toast . "It's good to be back here," Vic commented as he and Vaux walked in the door. "That guy had some helpful information," Vaux mentioned. "Yes he did. I think I'm actually at inner peace," Vic said. "And I know that my purpose in life is to genetically breed the first cross between an alligator and a wombat," Vaux replied. "Where the hell have you two been?" Complexity asked with annoyance. "Receiving spiritual guidance from the CEO of the world's second largest fertilizer corporation FeciInc," Vic answered. "FeciInc," Plague hissed. "Uh guys," came Mysterious Zak's voice as his head appeared on a computer screen. "What is it?" Connery asked. "We have inbound," Zak reported. "Inbound what?" Plague asked. "Show me!" Connery demanded. A read out appeared on the computer. "They have a reserve attack force…dammit, where did this come from? We were so careful!" Oooo...what's going to happen next? The adrenaline's pumping now! "What's the exact force?" Plague asked. "Hundreds of planes, tanks, and infantry," Connery said. "So are we in trouble?" Stiegg asked. "No," Plague and Connery both replied. "All we need to do is execute a modular transformation," Connery added. "What?" Everyone else asked. "Modular transformation," Connery explained. "You know, turn the school into a Ultra Divisional High School and such." Strika Addendum appeared in a puff of Boron. "So...looks like the guys got themselves into trouble," She teased with a grin. "Nothing we aren't capable of handling!" Plague responded dismissively.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 283 "Oh...we'll see, but I'm going to have some fun too," she said. "You can thank me later." "Be my guest," Plague said. "As Student Council President, do I have to do anything?" Stiegg asked. "Declare a state of emergency," Dave answered. "Oh...okay," Stiegg said. "It's a state of emergency." "There...done, we can now take control!" Connery hollered. "Zak! I'm on my way! Begin the modular transformation!" Now what the hell is going on? Stuff. But just what is happening? This is insane. No, it's more than that! It's the climax! Oh...joy. I bet you don't experience a lot of those.

Chief Executive's Office. Alarms rang out all over the school in a symphony of shrill rhythms. "That's not the first bell. What the hell is happening!?" the Acting Principal exclaimed. "Looks like we're having another damn modular transformation," McGowen muttered from the doorway. "Oh," Curtiss said. "A what?!" "A modular transformation. We've got to get to battle stations!" "What in the living fuck are you talking about?" Curtiss exploded. "Ma'am you haven't been here long enough to understand. It's really hard to explain, look, it's like this...please you need to get to the shelter," McGowen said hurrying out of the office, Curtiss followed. The hallway was glowing red as a line of alert beacons flashed. Edgea's voice could be heard through a PA system. "You lucky bastards, we're about to have a really big battle, so get to battle stations or shelter please," she said with glee. "The Electronics students redesigned the school a few years ago to be able to turn into Ultra Divisional Fortress Conrad if there was an emergency," McGowen outlined.. "But why would they do such a thing?" Curtiss asked. "There must be some sort of enemy on its way to attack us," McGowen reasoned. "But who? And why? Just what is going on!" "Ma'am...I think you'd best get to a shelter. We'll take it from here," McGowen assured her. "You two!" he snapped at some guards. "Get the Principal to safety!" "This was not in the job description!" Curtiss shouted as the guards led her away. "It never is," McGowen said and raced down a corridor.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 284 Rebuilt Science Wing. As the alarms went off, Mister Scientz hurried to his classroom. He grabbed a sealed jug marked "Nerve Gas." from below his desk and rushed out in to the hallway. Mister Salti blocked his path. "Put it back Scientz, there are rules in war!" the old man shouted. "Not anymore, there are lives at stake!" Scientz snapped. "Put it back," Salti said clutching an eraser in his hand. "You expect to stop me with that?" Scientz asked. "Yes…it is all I need," Salti responded. Scientz rushed at him. Salti flung the eraser with a fluid motion. It sailed forward and smashed into Scientz's eyes, the corner hit his retina. The Biology teacher staggered back in pain, the dust blinded him. Salti stepped forward and with punch to the gut leveled his foe. He grabbed the canister and slowly moved for an exit as Scientz writhed in agony.

Everywhere. The walls of Conrad began to rise or lower depending on their function. A large metal tower rose from the roof covered with flashing lights and laser cannons. Armor slid across the cafeteria and gym walls. You're sick. You're not letting the spirit take you here. What spirit and where would it take me you American nimrod! Oh never mind. Soon the entire high school had become a fortress bristling with radar dishes and weaponry. In the command center Connery was studying a computer screen intently. Dave was sitting in a large chair. Zak and Edgea were urgently studying data and typing in information. "Why are you in charge?" Stiegg asked. "I'm the Student Council president!" "Ah...yes…I would expect such obstruction from the civilian government. This school is under military control now," Dave answered. "And so why are you the military!" "You need to understand this is a dangerous world, and you need to wrap yourself in the protection that I provide," Dave responded. "Launch the strike units!" "We have strike units?" Stiegg asked in disbelief. His panic was growing by the minute. "Several dozen Conradtech fighters, courtesy of our visiting scientists, but we have no time for explanations," Connery replied. "What!?" Stiegg howled. "All pilots to your planes, all pilots to your planes, scramble, scramble," Edgea announced into the PA system. "Strike units get ready for take off."

Gym/Hangar. What had been the gym was now a state of the art hangar. A large group of white advanced fighter jets, rose out of the floor through giant doors. Complexity, Lucio, Vic, Vaux, Zaee, and Jameson were all heading

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 285 towards them along with several other students. "Why are we the pilots?" Vic asked meekly. "Why not?" Complexity responded. Soon the pilots were all in the cockpits and the planes were slowly rolling out of the gym towards the field. The ground itself was flipping to reveal pavement on the other side. Within a minute a taxiway had been established to two large runways on the former field. Well of course the athletic fields have become runways. It is a high school of course! Hah! Bet you could have used one of these at the Falklands ey? I'm not going to justify that and we won! "This is Head One," Complexity reported from the lead fighter. "Head Squadron is ready for take off." "LAUNCH! WHEN READY!" Edgea shouted. Complexity and Lucio's planes rushed down the runways and took flight. The rest followed. "Good hunting, seriously, hunt…with vigor," Edgea said with great elation and turned. "Strike units are engaging Colonel." "Very well," Dave answered seriously. "Why are you a Colonel! Just what is going on? I demand that my existence make some degree of sense," Stiegg howled. "GUARDS!" Dave said and clapped. A pair of guards in their indeterminately colored shirts appeared. "Remove Stiegg from the command center." "Gladly!" they said and dragged Stiegg out. Dave grinned. "Enjoy it while it lasts," Connery said snidely. "I intend to," Dave replied. "Enemies approaching," Edgea reported. The twin engined Fecicorp planes were brown and marked with giant stylized F's. Dozens streaked across the Conrad sky bearing down on the high school. Head Squadron closed in on their position. "When I say fire…fire," Complexity ordered and waited two seconds. "Fire!" The squadron launched a swarm of missiles upward. Most found their mark and half of the Fecicorp wing vaporized filling the air with puffs of black smoke and fire. The return attack came quickly destroying a few inconsequential characters but preserving the main cast. The two groups of planes soon broke off into dogfights. Complexity was surprised to find a fairly good pilot on his tail. He broke hard and spun the plane around narrowly colliding with his pursuer but lining up the shot to give his enemy a fiery end. Zaee streaked by dispatching a Feciplane quickly before banking up and blasting a second apart. "This is almost too easy," she muttered, though had to quickly dodge as Vaux's plane careened at her. "Stop sucking!" she shouted into her radio. "I just can't!" Vaux screamed and narrowly avoided his own demise at the hands of an opposing missile. On the ground Fecicorp Tanks and Infantry were approaching the school across the adjoining golf course. Conrad's laser cannons opened up with a furious storm of …er…lasers blasting apart tanks and people. A wave of

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 286 missiles shot out from the metal tower and impacted destroying the 15th hole and several dozen armored vehicles. The brown tanks finally opened fire pelting the school's armor with exploding shells and knocking some laser turrets out of commission. The infantry advanced, but not far. At the edge of the school, Chief McGowen, Coach Pitt, and dozens of security guards and brave students stood behind a metal wall peering out at the advancing troops, holding the convenient ray guns that Connery had invented. "You are ordered to set your guns to stun. Great Lord Plague desires workers for the mines," Edgea's voice shouted through the speakers of the school. "I don't know why I'm taking orders from him!" McGowen snapped. "But very well…for now…we'll be sporting. Set for stun!" The small army hit a setting on their futuristic weapons and waited. "Don't fire into you see the white of my ass," McGowen announced and promptly mooned the advancing invaders. The Conrad detachment didn't hold back battering their enemies with a lasered welcome. But as tanks caught fire and soldiers dropped, more and more seemed to fill in their lines. "Feel the pain of the demonic forces of twenty-seven separate dimensions of pure darkness!" Plague shouted swinging a dark blade through a Fecicorp fighter. "Hmm...there may be a better way to do this," he said and waved his hand. Out of a portal to another dimension flowed several large mutant bats. They let out a horrific screech and dived on the Fecicorp planes. A missile flew by him. He ducked it. "Fire a missile at me will they?" he spat angrily and blasted apart a whole wave of enemies with a whirlwind of dark matter. [Careful.] He thought. [You still haven't entire recovered from the last battle.] On the ground Strika Addendum was jumping from tank to tank dropping little pink bulbs onto each and grinning as they incinerated behind her. She also was being conservative having not recovered from the Feciclone battle. A shell flew at her. "Pathetic! Conventional weapons against me?" she asked. "I really don't like any of you!" "Hah...you're just a woman," one of the soldiers shouted back. "Go iron a shirt!" Addendum for the first time in forever, scowled. "Oh I see...you want me to filet your soul as well as deem your physical form unusable!" she shouted and burned the chauvinist with a magenta inferno. "Now learn what a Necromancer of the Black and Violet Order of Massacred Spirits can do!" she shouted as her fists glowed brightly. She pulled her arms out and swung them forward arcing a sharp curved blade of death across the battlefield. One hundred tanks exploded and many soldiers with them. Her smile returned.

Command Center. "Sir, three more fighters have entered the combat zone," Edgea reported. "Friend or foe?" Dave asked dramatically. "You're loving this aren't you?" Connery muttered. Sebastian appeared on the view screen.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 287 "Greetings all, I assure you in this conflict at least Fecicorp is a shared enemy," he said. "You developed a comparable fighter design to my Conradtech fighters, you bastard!" Connery shouted. "Of course. The Sebalkryies," Sebastian answered and disappeared off the screen as planes piloted by himself, Nei and Prim raced towards the fight. "Guess they will be useful help," Dave admitted. "For now," Connery grumbled. "He is such an ass hat."

Conrad High Underground Bunker. "What a mess..." Curtiss said looking at a video screen which showed her the battle outside. She turned back to look into the bunker where most of the students were all waiting the war out. "Everyone's getting a little stressed out," Daman said standing. "Oh no," Mr. Eyena moaned. "Acting Principal, please let me uh...do something about him!" "What? Why?" Curtiss asked. "There's no time to explain it!" Eyena desperately said. "So there's a war going on. Big deal. It's time to mellow out," Chafer said. "So what have you got for us Daman?" "Airwolf," Daman replied "Don't make me hit you Daman," Chafer said. "Come on! Do it!" Daman demanded. Chafer clocked him. "HAH!" Daman said accepting the punch. "All right!" "That was violent," Maka Penguin observed. "Say...you know I think that Star Wars is what really launched James Earl Jones' career," Goshin suggested. "Guys! Don't! Please," Mr. E begged. "Say...the resolution on this video screen is all wrong," Daman observed studying it. "What?" Curtiss asked in confusion. "Just a thought," Daman said and walked away. "He's right! Look we need 320 by 240 on that thing! You've got it all pixelized!" Maka Penguin shouted. "Maybe it would be better if we used a digital imager," Alan suggested. "That's your solution to everything!" Rocky shouted. "Come on, let's do it again!" Alan yelled back. The two drew switchblades. The students all formed a circle. Alan and Rocky stared at each other slowly moving around the circle waiting for a chance to strike. "Now wait a minute...this isn't sanctioned!" Curtiss stammered. "Don't try and stop it. You can't," Mr. E said. "What?" Curtiss asked.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 288 "I think there is only one thing left for us to do," Daman said. "And what's that?" Chafer asked. "Hum the theme to the A-Team!" Daman cried. "You got it!" Chafer shouted. The two started humming. Maka and Goshin joined in. The knife fight went on, the rest of the students cheered for the combatants. "The school's exploding around us and our students are all..." Curtiss trailed off. "It's best not think about it," Mr. E advised. Another impact shook the bunker.

The Battlefield. "HAH! Get em! Let's do it Patton style!" McGowen shouted. He was peering out of the hatch of his own tank. Several more tanks followed. They rounded a turn and came up next to the enemy. "Open fire!" he shouted. Many enemy tanks exploded, but others turned to face McGowen. "Bring it on!" McGowen said. The tanks began to bombard at each other at close range. The Fecicorp infantry still charged the school. "Time to give them a whupping, like we nearly gave to Welles last year," Pitt cried vaulting over the wall. The other guards and students with him followed and quite the altercation ensued between the two sides at the edge of the school. A few Fecicorp soldiers rushed for the Math Building which had been left unprotected, but they were headed off by some guards. The Fecicorp infantry grew in number though, and the Conrad forces fell back inside the school. "Dammit, I don't want to lose anymore," Pitt muttered and tossed his hat on the floor. The Fecicorp forces started pounding on the armor trying to break down the doors.

Command Center. "Their infantry have broken through the second defense perimeter!" Edgea reported. "Great...just great," Dave muttered. "Wait!" Edgea said. "Something's happening." Across the athletic fields towards the breach hurried an assorted collection of wizards, fighters, Ogres, Orkes, Dwarves, and young women in their many many fashionable clothes. Also Diusqa led a small army of little creatures in her wake. "Looks like Tamrisu brought some reinforcements," Jameson said looking out the window of his fighter. "That's a very odd thing for her to do considering his general disregard for everyone else's existence." "Yeah, Tamrisu sucks," Complexity agreed over the radio. Anyway...the new arrivals, somehow convinced by Tamrisu to come to Conrad's aid, attacked the Fecicorp infantry. The wizards cast spells, the Ogres and fighters leapt into action. The girls let loose a stream of magic energy as armored women charged into the fray. The Fecicorp forces wavered and started to break. Soon the rout

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 289 was on as the brown clad army hurried back the way they came. "HAH! Look at them run!" McGowen shouted. "Just like at Stalingrad!" Tokyo-1 at this point was racing along a side street. "I hate being late for school," Seru muttered. "Have you even noticed what is happening out there?" Melody asked. "What do you mean?" Seru asked. "I've been too busy avoiding these crazy drivers." "Ya might wanna look out a side window if ya get the chance," Tarusia suggested. "Yeah I wouldn't worry about us being late," Melody said. A Conradtech fighter roared overhead. Seru hit the brakes. She looked out over the golf course and beyond it, noticing the high school in its transformed state and the battle in its final stage. "Oh…that," she uttered. "What the hell?" Tarusia exclaimed and pointed. Her two friends looked as part of the blue sky over the Mansion District was flickering white in a bizarre manner. The phenomenon increased in size until it began to form a silhouette. There was a flash that momentarily blinded them. "What's this now?" Melody wondered regaining her senses. "That's…" the three all said dramatically but were left speechless by the shock of what they saw.

Command Center. "The Self Defense Forces have stopped the first wave of enemy attacks," Edgea said with joy. "Fecicorp is still coming at us though," Dave noted. "Perhaps we should ready the main cannon," Connery said. "Ready it...but we'll use it only if necessary," Dave answered. "Sure...right," Connery replied grinning mischievously. "Connery, you know that it could take out half the neighborhood," Dave reminded him. "Of course I know. I just don't care," Connery said. "Shit!" Edgea exclaimed. "We've got a massive object appearing." "What?" Connery asked and hurriedly studied the readout. The object was still coming into view on the screen itself. "It's the damn Byzantine Sons Command Ship!" Connery shouted.

Conrad, Connecticut. In the latest fucking example of Dave's poor judgment, a Rolls Royce giant floating fortress had materialized over the town. The polished metal hull shined and stretched back a half mile. Atop it sat a stone and steel castle bristling with turrets and spires in a bizarre architectural choice. The giant engines that held the monstrosity aloft spread a loud eerie monotonous hum across the region. The ship hovered over Mount Conrad and slowly began to creep towards the high school. I think I've had quite enough of this. Then go take a break. I will. Be surprised if you see me again. Whatever... "That's a big ass ship," Edgea said losing her joy in the madness. "No matter, we will win anyway!" Dave declared. "Dave, as much as I share in the joy of overconfidence. We are likely over matched," Connery said reasonably. "Suggestions?" Dave inquired. "The hell if I know," Connery admitted. Edgea and Zak shrugged. Sebastian's face appeared on a monitor. "Let me guess. You didn't know the Byzantine Sons Command Ship could teleport?" he sneered. "I know everything!" Connery lied. Sebastian cut the link. "Get Head Squadron on the line please," Dave requested. "Online," Zak said with a flick of a few buttons. "So what's the deal with The Fuckwadindenberg over there?" Complexity asked. "It's the B.S. Command Ship. I'm afraid you will have to engage it," Dave said. "The enemy is launching fighters!" Edgea shouted. "Lamborghini's at that." On the screen they could see sleek red aerodynamic fighters streaming out of their mother ship. "Ok well, now you've got fighters to deal with to," Dave announced. "Good luck." "Thanks asshole," the entire fighter squadron responded.

The Sky. "Typical," Jameson muttered. "All right everyone, time to use these Conradtech fighters to their best abilities!" He pressed a button in the cockpit. His fighter's design shifted and took on humanoid form. It floated held aloft by the plane's former engines now sitting on the aircraft's back. The transformed plane opened fire and knocked down a formation of enemy aircraft.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 291 "Hell's yeah," Complexity agreed. "Press the magic buttons!" "Hey, that looks like a good idea," Lucio realized and did the same. The B.S. fighters started to break formation and engage. Plague's bats also soared into the battle. The result was a truly epic flying circus. Why don't you describe it you numnut? Thought you left. I forgot my keys. I'm out of here dumb ass.

Command Center. Zak turned in his chair. "Most of the B.S. fighters have been destroyed," he reported. "That's some good news," Dave said. "Here's some bad news. The B.S. Command ship is in firing range," Connery muttered. "Oh crap." A volley of laser light sailed from the enemy fortress and crashed into the cafeteria blowing it apart even through the armor. A second salvo followed "Fire all available weapons!" Dave cried. Conrad High opened up sending the missiles and cannon blasts skyward. They impacted all over the ship. "Damage, but…ugh…only 10 percent," Edgea explained. "It's going to take some time to reload and recharge everything," Zak said worriedly. "You shouldn't have fired everything at once you poser," Connery snapped. "Ready the main cannon!" "AYE!" Zak shouted. "Can we use any of your other weapons Connery?" Dave asked. "The nuclear weapon would be unwise at this exact second and the super weapon is not meant for this type of combat. It has a much…different purpose," he said sinisterly. "B.S. Lexus tanks appearing on outer defense perimeter!" Edgea shouted. They all watched as a wave of really nicely designed high performance armored rolling weapons rolled across the 14th hole. McGowen's tanks rumbled towards them firing wildly. They could make out that the Security Chief himself was standing atop the leading tank gesturing with a sword and clinging to a flag on a pole.

The Air. "We've got to take out that command ship," Strika said flying up to where Plague was floating. "Indeed, though I'm sure my reasons are different from yours," Plague answered. "Whatever they are...let's do it," Strika urged. "Very well," Plague agreed. The two flew towards the target building their limited energy as they did so. Portals on the ship started to brighten. "SHIT!" they both shouted and unleashed all they had as the ship fired again. The black and pink energy

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 292 rippled across the front of the B.S. ship exploding, but the enemy barrage reacted with the two's attack and detonated an even larger explosion flinging them both to the ground hard.

Indoors. "The command ship just took a major hit but it looks like we lost both Plague and Addendum!" Connery exclaimed. "Incoming!" Edgea said. Conrad High was rocked by more explosions as more blasts hit. "Do something!" Dave commanded. "FIRE THE CANNON!" Connery shouted. The large metal tube marked with various Scottish insults that had risen from the center of the school took aim. Particles of matter coalesced and glowed until a unified beam shot out and collided with the Command Ship. More of the ship melted, but a good quarter mile of it remained. Dozens of projectiles emerged from the beast. "Incoming missiles!" Edgea screamed. "Intercept them," Dave ordered. "We've got nothing to intercept them with," Zak said. "What?" Dave said. "Good night everybody," Connery said and dropped through a trap door. "Bastard," Dave spat. "Missile Impact in ten seconds," Edgea said coldly. Dave looked around worriedly. He glanced around the control center. All of his friends and allies were too busy trying to stop the missiles. Dave sighed, reached into his pocket and pulled out a Stone of Rhigarr. Everyone else looked at him with confusion. It glowed radiantly and warmed his hand. "What…the fuck," Edgea muttered. Dave held the stone upward. The sparkling light exploded up through the roof and vaporized the wave of missiles. Connery immediately reappeared out of the hatch. "So, you're still alive," he observed. "Apparently so," Dave replied. "You have one of the stones…how did you…" Connery stammered. Dave shrugged. "Found it in the parking lot," he said. "They're just going to fire again any second," Zak said. "Hmm..." Dave said and waved the crystal around. "Try spinning…" Connery said. "Do something!" Dave shouted and spun. A white dome shimmered into existence and encircled the school. The next B.S. bombardment bounced harmless off of it. "Nice," Zak admitted. "Well this is tiring," Dave muttered leaning against his chair grasping the crystal tightly.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 293 "Guess this is why they normally let women handle the magic. We're stronger than you are," Edgea jabbed.

In The Clouds. "Follow me into this trench!" Sebastian demanded as he curved his fighter in towards the B.S. behemoth. "You really think this trench is going to matter at all?" Prim asked. "I guarantee it," Sebastian vowed. The three fighters streaked in on the B.S. Command Ship and down a large metal canyon. Anti-aircraft fire blasted at them from all over the ship. "This is a really bad idea," Nei said. "Use the rocket-a-rocket," Sebastian ordered. "Is that what you're calling it?" Prim asked snidely. "Admittedly, not my best name, I will modify it at a later date, do it," Sebastian responded. The three launched small canisters upward, they exploded releasing forty other smaller missiles which raked across the ship destroying many of the meddlesome weapons. The three continued along the trench at high speed, finally reaching the end to find absolutely nothing. "You imbecile!" Prim snapped as they banked away. "I can't be right all the time!" Sebastian yelled. "It's just not possible even given my awesomeness!" "Watch it!" Nei shouted. The three spiraled out of the way of a cannonade launched from below them. "Momentary withdrawal!" Sebastian suggested and they shot away from the Command Ship with great haste.

B.S. Command Ship Bridge. The bridge sat in the middle of the castle structure and was filled with wood paneling, chandeliers, and curtains. On the main floor, a circular bank of consoles was manned by various Byzantine Sons in their regalia. In the center of it all atop a raised platform sat the Lord Regent. The Viceroy stood beside him as is common in these situations. I mean it's not like The Viceroy would be off in a corner or something, we have to have the…never mind I'm digressing. Honestly, felt a little cliché but going for it…why am I telling you this? Ugh this has been a tiring process. Anyway, the Lord Regent glared at the window that doubled as a view screen studying the maps of information projected in green and red. He could see their position, the enemy, and the surrounding terrain. "We are still pushing them back. I am surprised at their resistance, but it will be dealt with. No one has ever been able to defeat the Byzantine Sons in battle! I don't know what the energy surrounding the school is but…" The Lord Regent said. "Prepare the next wave of missiles!" "You're going to wipe out the whole school?" The Viceroy asked. "Unfortunately it has come to this, but yes." "Fine with me. One less problem to deal with," The Viceroy muttered. "We are ready to fire," a B.S. lackey said. "Excellent!" the Lord Regent shouted. Missiles poured out of the warship and dropped down at the shield. They exploded in little cool circles of

Nearby. On the hill overlooking the battle Seru tensed. "We can't just stand here, but what will help? Even if they succeed in destroying that ship it'll crash killing thousands maybe," she said. "What are the chances the others care?" Melody asked. A second main cannon blast fired. It smashed through the ship incinerating another portion of it, but piles of debris dropped from the damaged area. "There's our hint," Melody said answering her own question. Sebastian, Prim, and Nei swept down in their fighters and hovered. "You have any ideas!?" Sebastian asked as his canopy opened. "No. You!" Seru asked.

B.S. Command Ship. Alarms howled all over the bridge as the customary red lights flashed on and off. "Sir! They damaged some of our main weapons, we need to get closer!" a B.S. officer reported. "Do it!" The Lord Regent bellowed. "CRUSH THEM!" The rest of the bridge looked at him. "What?" he asked. "A little over the top there sir," The Viceroy remarked. "But I will crush them…underneath this boot," The Lord Regent vowed kicking the floor.

Command Center. "Prepare for another cannon blast," Connery requested. "If we succeed it may crash," Dave said. "If we succeed don't we're all dead," Connery replied. "I'm not sure that's a good enough reason." "Yo," Prim said as he appeared on the screen through a com link. "Are you planning to fire that thing again?" "We have to," Connery replied. "Not cool," Prim said and cut the link.

Outside. "There's your answer," Prim noted from his open cockpit. "Tarusia we need to get up there," Seru determined. "Give us some birds!" Sebastian, Prim and Nei chuckled.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 295 "Oh dammit," Seru muttered realizing how that sounded. Tarusia quickly used her blade wand to draw out three exquisite looking birds. They were the best she had ever designed. The beautiful phoenixes flapped hesitantly as the three girls hopped atop them. "Cover us!" Seru said. "10-4," Sebastian remarked. The six raced upwards towards the looming mass that could be their destruction. "You might want to help us get through here," Prim said into his radio to the others. "I will consider your request," Complexity growled. "I think we're going to blow up the ship now," Prim added. "I agree to your request," Complexity said. "Head Squadron, form up and cover these fucks!" "Much obliged," Prim responded. "We will momentarily assist as well," Connery said over a different com channels. The three birds swiftly approached the ship as the rest of the planes around them and Conrad itself fired at every attack sent their way, clearing a path. Tarusia let loose shards of purple light and Melody's rhythmic circles deflected more dangers out of the way. "This makes a lot of sense given your ability to deal with ships," Tarusia said to Seru. Melody laughed as Seru's gaze intensified on the target. The group of momentary heroes came to a stop under the ship. The Conradtech fighters took their robot forms, Sebastian, Prim, and Nei hovered with their rocket- a-rockets at the ready. Melody and Tarusia balanced atop their phoenixes building up energy. Seru raised her sword wand aloft. "Come on…come on…come…on…" she urged worriedly as it continued to power up. Dozens of weapons on the Command Ship's keel turned towards them and fired. The fighters let loose counterattacks The sword shimmered and sparkled. Another bombardment flew at them. The group stopped it yet again. A colossal discharge flew from the sword as energy spread a half mile. Tarusia and Melody added their own energies as the B.S. ship shuddered and started to disintegrate.

On the Bridge. "Get us out of here!" The Lord Regent shouted. Part of the ship including the bridge broke off into a smaller piece and jetted away from the disintegrating main structure. The rest of the ship vanished on account of fierce energy. All that was left was a downpour of bright glitter sized energy pellets.

Command Center. "Wow, Seru, Tarusia, and Melody are quite the heroes there," Connery said. "I'm hoping that will take their mind off the fact we only raised twenty dollars for the drawing club at the farmer's market," Dave responded. "There's a smaller ship headed straight for us!" Edgea reminded them.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 296 Not The Ground. The B.S. smaller ship raced towards Conrad at a much faster pace then the former megalith they had been aboard. "Ready all weapons…" The Lord Regent ordered. "Look out!" The Viceroy said. Plague smashed through the bridge flinging demonic bolts through them all. "I'm back mortal scum!" he bellowed and floated back outside the ship. "Now with the strength of ninety-seven conquered solar systems and the souls of the billions that have been subjugated to my power...I command you all to die!" he shouted enveloping the ship in a typhoon of horrible magic. Strika with a snap of her fingers let a little pink beam fly from her finger, and the ship vaporized. "Damn it, I was going to crush them slowly for hours and suck out their pain!" Plague screamed angrily. Strika smiled and shrugged.

Command Center. "Fire!" Connery shouted. "Wait! At what!" Dave shouted. The main cannon fired, but with neither previous target in existence, the laser kept traveling and slammed into Mount Conrad. The mountain rumbled and split causing the slope to crash down into the mansion district. Castle Conrad tumbled off the summit collapsing through the wall around Welles High and soon the rubble of the castle and the school was aflame. "Holy…..shit…." every character in the area said as they observed. "Um…um…" Dave stammered in surprise. "Magical," Edgea remarked. "An unintended but most welcome result," Connery said with glee. The moment of victory was shattered as a figure floated to the ground surrounded by a glowing red shield of energy. "FUCK! What's that now?" Zak asked looking at his computer I shock.

Athletic Fields. "Shit it's the Lord Regent!" Strika shouted. The Lord Regent looked burned from Plague's attack, but he was very much alive. Strika knew she lacked energy and sensed Lord Plague was in the same position. She also noted Seru was nearly unconscious on the side of the battlefield after returning from the air. "Form up! AND ATTACK!" Complexity shouted. The Conradtech fighters swept in, but were blasted away by a massive gust of wind dispatched from the Regent's index finger. The pilots all ejected but the planes smashed into the parking lot exploding about fifty cars in the conflagration. Sebastian, Nei and Prim had since landed their own craft beside Seru, Tarusia, and Melody. "Who would like to flee?" Sebastian suggested. The others raised their hand. "No we can't…" Melody admitted. "Still…this is going to hurt I'd guess."

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 297 Command Center. Nhightman hurried in to the command center covered in burn marks. "Where you been?" Connery asked. "Out there…being maimed…" "Cool." "We're screwed," Nhightman observed. Dave stood up and hurried for the exit. "We have no choice, we need to use the nuclear weapon," Connery determined. "You said we couldn't use it!" Zak cried. "Situations…change," Connery responded bluntly and headed for the lab. "Wait! Connery, you can't use that!" Nhightman shouted following him urgently. "You'll destroy half the town." "Acceptable losses," Connery said opening up a large metal door. "No…they aren't," Nhightman responded. The nuclear device sat embedded in a rocket on a large metal table covered in wires. "Your association with the other side has tainted your judgment!" Connery snapped and started pressing buttons on a computer console feet away. The wires dropped from the missile and the platform it sat on began to rise upward. "I can't let you do this," Nhightman said drawing a sword. "Oh…really?" Connery asked whirling after pressing another button. A sword dropped from the ceiling. He caught it with little effort. "Launch sequence initiated," a computer voice announced. The two usual allies faced off. "No need to be all talk," Connery taunted. Nhightman lunged at him. Their swords clanged as the battle commenced.

The Surface. Dave jogged forward gasping for breath. The Lord Regent looked at him angrily. "You are the cause of this," he bellowed. Dave held the crystal aloft. "Oh you have one too I see," the Lord Regent noted with a glower showing off he had somehow ended up with the stone that had been thought lost in China. Seconds later a small energy bird flew by and knocked the crystal out of Dave's hand. Swiftly the avian concoction caught the stone in its mouth and flew it back to Tarusia. "Well…fuck," Dave groaned. "DIE!" The Lord Regent shouted and a torrent of red fireballs flew from his hands. A figure jumped in front of them and was heavily singed before descending to the dirt quickly.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 298 "VIICCCC! NOOOOO!" Dave shouted. "I hate…that…you wrote it this way…." Vic stammered and died. Tarusia meanwhile clutched the crystal and drew with her wand. A giant purple and white phoenix three times the size of her previous works appeared and slashed through the air at the Regent. He whirled, but it stuck the bubble knocking him to the ground, though his shield remained. "Let me try," Melody suggested. "I got it," Tarusia responded. "YOINK!" Sebastian shouted sliding around her and popping it out of her hand. He held it tightly and charged forward before punching the ground with a crystal filled fist. A crevice opened up and streaked along under the enemy. The Lord Regent plummeted into the newly created geologic formation. "Heh…" Sebastian muttered. Tarusia smacked him on the top of the head and he went down, dropping the crystal as he fell. Melody snatched it up quickly. The Regent soon rose out of the hole, his hands crackled with red electricity. He turned towards them, but Melody was faster. A beautiful sound sifted through the air as white and yellow rings rushed towards him. He managed to counter attack at the last minute. The two assaults collided and struggled against each other. "I can't hold it!" Melody exclaimed. Everyone else scrambled out of the way and she ducked as the Regent's attack flew over her and impacted. The earth shook and she dropped the crystal. Across the grass came the repaired Vauxmobile, filled with main characters. They leapt off as the van careened driver-less into the Lord Regent. Prim grabbed the crystal and transformed. Glowing he became a giant flaming tractor trailer and rolled forward. "Arise Optimus Prim!" he yelled to himself and rushed onward. The Lord Regent quickly put up a magic wall. Prim hit it forcefully and was stopped but the collision threw the enemy to the ground yet again. The crystal rolled down a hill as Prim was unable to hold it. "FUCK!" most of the characters shouted. Melody, and Tarusia, and the newly arrived Tamrisu launched magic, though the attempts barely connected. Jameson hurried forward, leapt into the air, spun and swung his sword down. The Regent raised an arm, but Jameson connected all the same slashing into the Regent's limb and delivering a major wound. The Lord Regent angrily yelled and unleashed a torrent of energy in a circle. Everyone was knocked down, except for one person. Vaux had emerged from behind a hill clutching the crystal. "EH?" The Regent asked. "Yes…it's Vaux time," Vaux announced. "Shall we begin!?"

Command Center Lab. The furious swordplay went back and forth as neither Connery or Nhightman could get an advantage as they parried across a catwalk high above the lab. The nuclear device was slowly rising past them. "I don't want to fight you! At least not at this second!" Nhightman shouted swinging wildly. "That is why you will ultimately fail!" Connery replied and swung even harder. Nhightman staggered back off guard. Connery charged forward and kneed him in the face. "Nothing personal," he said as Nhightman fell unconscious.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 299 Back Outside. Vaux glowed, his hair turned bright yellow. "HHHYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he grunted. "He's going Super Vaux!" Nei shouted. Everyone looked at him. "What?" he muttered. A giant golden ball formed in Vaux's hand. It spun and gyrated. The Regent grimaced and stared him down with his power at the ready. He erected a small shield in front of him. It was all he could muster. "WELCOME TO MY HEAVENLY HELL!" Vaux shouted releasing the ball. To everyone's shock it flew… …upward… …and right back down upon Vaux blasting a gigantic crater into the landscape. The crystal was thrown by the impact towards the mix of characters. Complexity rushed forward and clutched it. The Regent shot fire at him repeatedly, but he dodged. "Time to hail the door!" he said. "You know what to do Stiegg?" Lucio asked. "We do it in lacrosse too," Stiegg said. Complexity leapt up and was caught by the pair. They rushed forward as the Regent was distracted with stray attacks from the rest of our beloved cast of miscreants. The glowing football player was tossed and hit his target. The Regent fell to the ground weakly, but stood back up trying to shake everything off. "THE GAME IS NOT OVER!" He shouted and blasted most back with a giant wave. He sank to one knee. The crystal bounced into Nei's right hand causing it to pulsate and throb. A wind blew all around him. He pushed off of one foot and propelled himself forward. The Lord Regent whirled towards him with a fiery glare. A fireball shot out but Nei dodged it. Nei swung his first upward and connected. The Lord Regent to his shock soared upward. "I've knocked you off the screen!" Nei scream. A missile burst up through the lawn of the school in pursuit. Both the Regent and the missile flew 30,000 feet upward. The missile detonated spreading fall out across the sky as the Lord Regent was incinerated.

Command Center. "Warning, environmental hazard. Warning, environmental, hazard," the computer announced. "What have you done!?" Nhightman shouted as he hurried in wincing. "No matter," Connery said. "Launch the environmental bomb!" he said and pressed another button. A second missile launched. It hit 30,000 feet as well and exploded, spreading a strange green mist across the sky. "At lower altitude, the nuclear detonation would have been quite harmful, but up here, I am able to neutralize it with my Scotzatron Environmental Bomb." "People could have been hurt," Nhightman said. "We won, that what's matters," Connery replied. Nhightman stormed out in disgust.

Copyright David F. Pendrys. 2015-Present. 300 The Battlefield. Everyone was trying to get themselves together. Nei approached Seru who was weakly opening her eyes from the exhaustion. "It's probably better if you have this," he said handing her the second crystal. She slowly held it up and it merged into a glowing multi-colored crystal embedded in her sword. She smiled. "Two down, three to go," she said with a suspicious smile. Plague had finally regained his strength and shot skyward in search of the Regent's crystal. Strika pursued. Nhightman walked past the burnt out debris noting Vic's body, and Stiegg and Lucio trying to help the wounded Complexity up only to have him start punching them. Jameson and Tamrisu both looked annoyed but unsure of their next move. When is this damn story going to end? Welcome back. It ends...Now. No fooling? Well ending has a double meaning. What do you mean by that? Apparently your paperwork was not in order. Immigration? FUCK! And then the narrator in a panicked display fled only to be easily subdued by the waiting Homeland Security officials below. Now I don't even have to pay him. At the edge of the burning parking lot, Dave sat fiddling with pieces of pavement. "I hope you're proud of yourself," Nhightman spat approaching him. "Never," Dave responded. "The hell is that?" Nhightman observed as a mob was rushing across the former battlefield towards them. "This novel is terrible!" came a shout as they got closer. "Ah, angry readers," Nhightman noted. "There's the bucketfucker!" one of the mob's leaders shouted. "I suggest we depart," Dave said and the two took off at a run as the mob pursued. "How are you going to get out of this one!" Nhightman shouted. Out of the clouds came a large flying unicorn. The beautiful white animal set down right in front of the two. "You've got to be kidding," Nhightman said. "Well...it's either this or the mob," Dave said. "You would create a dumb dilemma like that. A unicorn or a mob! You piece of hyena crap! Dammit let's go." The two climbed aboard the unicorn. It galloped up the street and took flight leaving the angry readers to yell at the air. It was a few minutes before they gave up and began the journey back to their jobs designing new aerodynamic soda bottles. "I guess the only good thing about all this negativity is that you can't write a sequel," Nhightman added. "Who says?" Dave said and broke into maniacal laughter. The Unicorn began to laugh as well.