£1.00 Welcome to Stag Meadow Windsor F.C. v Burnham F.C. Saturday 25th November 2017 Kick Off 3:00pm Uhlsport Hellenic League Premier Division Good afternoon everyone and welcome to Stag Meadow for todays HLP match against Burnham. I offer a warm welcome to our visitors and trust supporters, players and officials have had a trouble free journey across the Relief Road. I extend that welcome to our match day officials and again hope Messrs Parkinson, Wilkins & Maxwell enjoy their very brief stay with us in The Great Park. We welcome back some very familiar faces today; let’s hope both Jeffers (Kyle Jeffrey) and Rio (Omar Riaz) are on top form. You will recognise other names and faces but with Alan Paris still assessing his squad it’s too risky for me to mention too many names! We have two fixtures this coming week, after today. On Monday we make the trip over to Woodley United for a league cup tie. Next Saturday we have the 3rd Round Vase tie away at Walton & Hersham. Travel information for both games can be found in this issue. Finally, a reminder that fixtures are fairly fluid in the Hellenic League, so as much as we try and keep them accurate in the programme, please refer to the football club Twitter account for to-the-minute updates! @windsorfc Enjoy the game Matt Page 1 – www.thamesmotorgroup.co.uk From the Bench Page 3 – www.thamesmotorgroup.co.uk From the Bench The end of our winning run was inevitable, I just never expected it to end on Tuesday night. The three matches against Abingdon, Burnham and Woodley were/are dangerous fixtures. There was always the possibility of getting bitten on the backside and Ash and I stressed this to the boys. Preparation is the key and I just felt that on Tuesday night we were not right from the moment we walked through the gates. Abingdon showed more hunger and desire to win the match. That said, if Joash’ free kick had nestled in the back of the net at 2-1 up, we probably would have gone on to win the match. Overall, no complaints about the result though. We take it on the chin and move onto today’s match. The message today is the same. Our preparation has to be spot on and we must show that we want to win the match more than our opposition. We will have the opportunity to re-introduce some players into the starting line up today now that suspensions and injuries have cleared, and we would hope anyone coming in would take that opportunity to impress. I’m hoping we’ll all enjoy the game today, Mick Page 3 – www.thamesmotorgroup.co.uk Sat.25 November 2017 Reporting Fake News at your Club PORCELAIN PAPERS SCANDAL ROCKS MEADOW The Meadow Waffle understands a number of high level officials at Windsor Football Club have been quizzed over claims of an offshore tax avoidance scheme. The scheme, possibly relating to the image rights of recluse mascot Scotty The Stag, has seen the club splash the cash in recent weeks on soft-quilted toilet paper and double ply napkins. Journalist Mary Kerry Brockenberry alerted the authorities following a recent visit. “I came to watch my sisters brothers son in a Youth match and couldn’t believe they had azure blue Andrex – I smelt a rat immediately.” When contacted about the allegation, the Accounting Team at Windsor FC Ghostly figure in read out a prepared statement; Club Snap “following an internal investigation Super naturalists have we have concluded there is no been hired to review Accounting Team.” Founding footage and undertake Director Kevin Stott, 1st Team ecto-plasmic tests of the Manager Mick Woodham, home dressing room at Secretary Alan King and Club Stag Meadow after this Legend Malcolm Williams were not ghostly figure was quizzed and have been spotted on camera exonerated. It is believed Scotty during a recent Sky The Stag is in Mauritius having Sports interview. treatment on a recent back injury sustained in a speed boat accident. Seen anything odd at Stag Meadow? Call 0800 555 555 today, you could earn cash. Poppy Pins Available Today From the Club Shop The same figure was Only also seen entering the £4 changing room shortly after the 52nd minute of the recent match against Woodley. Sat.25 November 2017 Reporting Fake News at your Club It seems our Club Sponsor Thames Motor Group, Dealer Principal Sanjay Sobte is diversifying. Paul Coyne spotted proudly wearing the new range of sports pant. When asked about his choice, Coyney commented “Sanj is a man who loves his fashion, why wouldn’t I want to support the new venture.” Story by Miles Betwa Ever wondered how Scotty The Barry loves the Stag maintains his fitness? Ever Grockle Lifestyle wondered why Stag Meadow operates off of a generator set? It’s simple really. Club electrician Alextrician Sparkle explains; “we found the three-phase supply to be unreliable and on top of that the power companies insisted on invoicing us every month. Something had to change so we decided to try a generator and measure our usage more Following his recent accurately. Diesel is so expensive revelation that he loves and we therefore decided to caravanning, Windsor’s power it using an old style Barry Hayles is being dynamo. It was unethical to targeted by The Caravan expect 8-year old Filipino boys to Club to head up its latest work the dynamo so Scotty marketing campaign. stepped in and the rest is history. Commenting, Barry said We’ve not paid a bill since.” “If they call, I’ll answer. It’s a lovely caravan and I enjoyed my stay”. A spokesman for the Caravan Club declined to comment on the speculation. Trade Your Trade In May 2016 the Football Club launched its Trade Your Trade Scheme. The following are now our local business partners and we are very grateful for their continued support; Page 6 – www.thamesmotorgroup.co.uk Where in the World Paul Smithson has been appointed the Football Club’s Brand Ambassador and we thank Paul for volunteering his time. Paul has been tasked with driving the Windsor FC “Union” brand and you will see various initiatives over the next few months. To start with, we’d like to see you, or your Windsor FC Union shirt, in, on, next to or under landmarks of the world! Send your photographs to [email protected] and we’ll make sure they get proudly displayed on the website gallery page and in the match day programme. Can you work out where Paul is pictured below? You are correct if you guessed the Colosseum in Rome! An extra point for guessing the lady next to Paul is wearing the Coventry City away shirt from 1988. Page 7 – www.thamesmotorgroup.co.uk “Landlord’s doing well” The Crown Estate confirms purchase of future phases of Rushden Lakes. The CE have today (17th November 2017) confirmed the unconditional purchase of three further phases of Rushden Lakes from LXB Retail Properties Plc, the specialist retail developer. With this agreement, the CE have committed to an additional 215,000 sqft of space at the ground- breaking retail and leisure destination. Delivered over three additional phases of development, this will bring the total size of Rushden Lakes to more than 445,000 sqft. £100m Regent Street redevelopment confirmed – The Crown Estate have confirmed plans to redevelop Morley House, a £100m mixed retail and residential block at 314-322 Regent Street, north of Oxford Circus. The redevelopment forms part of our ongoing £1bn regeneration of Regent Street and will be taken forward in collaboration with main contractor, Kier Construction, and development manager, Walton Wagner. The Crown Estate to consider new leasing for offshore wind projects. The CE announced on 7th November 2017 that they will be working with the offshore wind sector and stakeholders to consider making new seabed rights available to offshore wind developers. The Crown Estate is responsible for managing the seabed around England, Wales and Northern Ireland. The announcement follows the Government’s backing for offshore wind in the Clean Growth Strategy and recognises the industry’s on-going development of an ambitious Sector Deal for offshore wind. It also follows the recent ‘Contracts for Difference’ auction which demonstrated significant cost reduction. Any sign of a new lease for Windsor FC at Stag Meadow? Any progress in the negotiations on a new long-term lease for Windsor FC? Answers on a postcard to… Page 9 – Kindly Sponsored by The Prince Albert Away Days Walton & Hersham v Windsor Saturday 2nd December 2017 Kick Off 3:00pm FA Vase 3rd Round Tie Address: Walton & Hersham FC, Elmbridge Xcel Sports Hub, Waterside Drive, Walton-on-Thames, Surrey KT12 2JP. Web: www.waltonandhershamfc.org.uk Colours: Red & White By Road: Head out through Old Windsor and Runnymede. Turn left at the hotel and rather than join the M25, go under and follow the A308 Staines. At the Sainsburys roundabout join the A320 Chertsey Lane. Follow signs to A244Shepperton & Walton, crossing bridge over M3. Proceed on A244 following signs to Walton until you cross Walton Bridge over the Thames On leaving bridge, follow sign to Hampton Court (A3050), keeping in left lane at traffic lights. Bear right and go through traffic lights in town centre, keeping in left lane. Go through pedestrian lights, straight over mini-roundabout and through another set of pedestrian lights by shopping parade. Turn left at next roundabout (school on right). Turn right just before leisure centre.