T I-I E ETRIE WEEKLY "It's like that twilighty show about that zone... "- Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, 1995 Volume XXXIII, Number 15 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 January 26, 1999 Police Report Chess Team Recaptures Reveals New Pan-Am Championship JESSICA ROTHFUS practice and coaching sessions. Information Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Many members have also noticed the link between physical and men­ The Pan-American Intercolle­ tal fitness, and, as a result pursue on Stabbing giate Team Championship is the activities such as jogging and mar­ World Series of college chess, and tial arts. Matches at Pan-Am can be this year. UMBC's team brought six hours long. and greater endur­ VERGlL BUSHNELL peake 314 home the glory. While many of us ance can often ensure one player's Retriel·er Weekly Editorial Staff (CPK 3l4) were reveling in the bliss of winter victory over another. and mixed the break, the chess team spent the last UMBC has a very strong chess Despite Interim Chief of Police vodka with few days of December locked in recruiting program, and is one of the John Cook's assessment that "gen­ iced tea. competition with 20 other chess only schools to offer chess scholar­ erally, this is a very quiet campus," When all of teams, including those of Harvard ships. The university is also seek­ the violent events of the December the tea was and Stanford. ing to turn chess into a spectator 6. 1998 campus stabbing disrupted consumed, The tournament was held this sport. Since the Pan-Am tourna­ the image of a peaceful residential they substi­ year in Dallas. Texas. Since most ment triumph, both the chess team community. tuted pow­ of the major chess teams are located and the university have received Detailed information in a crimi­ dered grape Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff on the East Coast. only about 20 media attention, including a front­ nal report recently provided to The drink as a Scarred Student: Kevin Blackistone displays two teams competed, as opposed to the page story in the Baltimore Sun and Retriever Weekly by the UMBC mixer. Drink- healed neck lacerations. usual40 or more. Competition was an interview on WJZ's "Coffee police (in compliance with the ing began in lessened, but the Texas location With ... " program. Higher Education Amendments of earnest around II :30 p.m. and con­ Blackstone [sic] stated that the very ensured that the teams who did raise Victory in Dallas marks the 1998 to the Family Educational tinued for several hours. last thing he could remember be­ the funds to get there were truly top­ team ·s second Pan-Am win in three Rights and Prhacy Act [FERPAJ), Blackistone told campus police "he fore the attack was sitting on the notch. years. This time around. they were about the stabbrng in Chesapeake may have had,'' the equivalent of bed ... He stated that he was not In order to maintain their success. by no means surprise winners. Jay Hall early that morning presents a ·'between 10 and I 5 shots of members of the UMBC chess team much more comprehensive picture vodka." see STABBING. page 4 spend many hours each week at see CHESS. page 7 of the incident than the initial press They settled down for a night of releases given to the media last se­ video games, television and casual mester. conversation. Freshman Kelly Campus Police Get New Home, Image Although UMBC police still Warson, an ancient studies major. have not determined the actual mo­ described an encounter with JEN SICILIANO tivation that sparked the early morn­ Keenan on December 6th. Rt>triever Weekly Editorial Staff ing armed attack. the broader scope ·'I saw him earlier that night," of reports, interviews and pictures Warson said. "He seemed like a nor­ The former campus police station create a deeper context for under­ mal drunk; he was a little incoher­ is gone; demolished; ·'history'' standing a crime which has mysti­ ent." even, and along with it the police's fied the UMBC community. Erup­ Watson, who had known Keenan reputation for being unreachable tions of violence are rarely experi­ prior to his enrollment in UMBC. except in cases of emergency, ac­ enced at UMBC, and never in this added: "In high school he was just cording to Manny Lewis, special magnitude. a quiet kid. He didn't bother any­ assistant to the chief of police. According to documents fur­ body." The campus police made the nished by the campus Police De­ switch from their old offices, across partment. Brian James Keenan. 18, "I'm bleeding. Help, Help!" from Student Health Services, in a freshman majoring in English, and Watson was one of several who order to make room for the new Kevin B lackistone. 20, a junior dropped by CPK 314 that night. residence hall in front of the library. majoring in visual arts, supplied Blackistone himself paid a few in­ The new station - formerly $12 for the purchase of a 1.75 liter ternlittent visits to nearby friends, known as the Physical Plant - of­ jug of Gordon's Vodka. A 21-year­ fmally returning to the room around fers more space than the old one, old student, who did not consume 3:20 a.m. which makes a major difference to any alcohol, made the purchase for A report compiled by Detective the officers. Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff the two minors at a local liquor Corporal Eber Greene of the "[With] more room to operate out Room to Move: After transferring into their new space, campus store. The students returned to UMBC police paraphrased an inter­ police are expanding into the community to establish positive Keenan's dormitory room, Chesa- view with Blackistone, stating: "Mr. see POLICE, page 3 relationships and a feeling of security for students.

Plmpln' pirates, eBsy Men's J:'b;itslc:ett•ttll chess champs, Insert add{cts and "UN­ remains uo.cfefitateld your name In our SPEAKABLE In conference pltty, comments on last weekly contest, meet damage" - De­ women avenge month's stabbing in Dreamworlfs' Jeffrey termined to delineate earlier season loss to Chesapeake Hall, and Katzenberg, burn and debunk, the Monmouth to move Jessica Rothfus away those holiday Focus staff dons into third place, the discusses the merits pounds and cook up cybemaut suits and swimmers took on of enviro-friendly something special in descends into the West Virginia, and earthships. digital dives of the Chris Kerner looks at the Survival Skillet. World· Wide-Web. Super Bowl XXXJ/1. PAGE2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS January 26, 1999

THE SCENES

Alcohol Related Deaths Continue The Mystery Man BIG RAPIDS. Mich. - Alcohol has hccn linked to the death of another Yeah. ) ou kno\s. who mire on campus ami v. hy. Michigan college student smcc a Ferris we're talking about. You've No''. hold on one sec­ State Universit) student fell from her seen her on campus every ond This isn't a contest. so third-floor bedroom windov. after a da) in the last semester. don't get so excited. Thi~ is night of drinking. busil) "orking on some your chance to shO\\ ho\\ Adriane Allen. a 20-)ear-old dental project or another. but you much you care about your hygiene student from\\ illiam~ton. had can't quite recall her name. facult) and staff. You v. ill. t\\ icc the amount of alcohol in her You''c read about his hO\\Cver. receive a v.arrn. bloodstream neccssar} to be consid­ achie,cments in the paper fuay feeling inside from ered legaiJy drunk in Michigan. said a couple of times. but the joy of knowing that Kc\ in Courtne). the director of pubhc you're not sure you'd know your nominee v. ill appreci­ safety in Big Rapids. Allen's blood­ him if you saw him in the ate the recognition you're alcohol level was 0.22. hall. She just got promoted giving them. Allen died Frida) afternoon after after fi\c years of hard Students and facult) arc falling the preYious night from the v. in­ work in your department. \\Clcome to submit nomina­ dov. in her off-campus apartment. An but you· ve ne' cr heard of tions. Tel us as much infor­ autops) shO\\Cd Allen died from mas­ her before. mation as ) ou can about the sive head and internal inJunes. The Retriel•er Weekly person. For example. name. Since October. two MSt., students v.ould tile to shine the position and reason for have died after consuming alcohol. spotlight on some lesser­ nomination are all helpful. known facult) and staff II you· re not sure of a name Live Nudes on Campus here at UMBC. In the or position. that's okay. just PRINCETON. N.J. - President Shapiro weeks to come. we hope to as long as you point us in announced Monday he is asking Dean give you a look into their the right direction. of Student Life Janina Montero to ex­ lives and jobs, so that you can appre­ But before we start digging around. Send your submissions to amine the future of the Nude Olym­ ciate the great deal of work these we'd like to give you a chance to nomi­ [email protected] by Tuesday. pics in light of the "serious risks that people contribute to our campus com­ nate someone you think may be under-ap­ February 9 for early consideration. the Nude Olympics pose." munity. preciated. We want to knO\\ who you ad- In a strongly worded letter to the edi­ tors ofThe Daily Princetonian, Shapiro cited the high number of students who were taken to McCosh Health Center and Princeton M edical Center Friday Thanks to you. all sorts of everyday night as an indication of the event's products are being made from the potentially dangerous nature. He also v. rotc that college masters reported you've been recyclmg behavior "that was truly disgraceful But to keep recycling working to and unacceptable." help protect the envtronment. you "The reports of that C\ening sounded. to put it mildly. supremely need to buy those products distressing,'' Shapiro said. ''I have the health and the safety of the students in BUY RECYCLED •. mind. I think it's not the rowdiness I have in mind. It's the severe abuse of Customer Service Professionals - Full-Time alcohol.'' To qualify, you will need 6 months' customer service experience. strong communications USG president-elec t Spencer and computer skills, strong typing skills, as well as the ability to meet monthly quotas Merriweather, who participated in the for J)roductivity and quality. Must be able to work evenings and weekends. Salary is $8.25/ hour with the opportunity to earn up to $500/month in commissions. Top event. said he hopes to see a forum for performers may earn $11..37/ hour. students to express their opinions on Small Business and Consumer Sales- Full- and Part-Time the Nude Olympics. You will be responsible for selling the full range of MCI WorldCom products and "I think there needs to be increased services to residential long-distance prospects. Excellent communications/listening education about it," he said. "When all ; skills required and sales experience preferred. Full-time schedule: Mon.-Fri., 8:30 am ·5:30pm. Part·time schedule: Mon.-Thurs., 5:45 pm·11 pm; Fri., 5:45pm-9:45pm. you know is you're going to run around I Earn $7 /hour plus commission. Top performers may earn up to $60K+j year. naked, then there are going to be prob­ AND SAVE: GENEROUS STOCK OPTIONS AVAILABLE lems." So look for and buy products made FOR ALL FULL-TIME EMPLOYEES! Merriweather said he thought the from recycled matertals. And don't for­ I Our Service/ Sales Professionals Enjoy: students who behaved responsibly en­ get to celebrate America Recycles Day I • Career growth opportunities: "Promote from within" joyed the event. on November tSth • Medical, vision, dental. and investment benefits after 90 days "Students think it's a tradition worth It would mean the world to us. For a I • Tuition reimbursement program for both full· and part-time positions preserving," he said. " I look like an • $500 bonus available within first 6 months free brochure. calll-800-CAI.L-EDFor idiot trying to defend people's right to • 401(k)/100% match up to 5% VlSit our web site at www.edf.org • Awards, recognition programs, and contests run around naked, but if students see Please fax your resume to: (410) 314-2300; or call: (410) 314-2906/4067/4068/ this as a tradition, the administration 4069/4070. Stop by or take the light rail to our Recruiting Office at: 230 Schilling needs to do anything possible to make Circle. Hunt Valley, MD 21031 to fill out an application. and be prepared to interview it safe." on the spot. EOE, M/F/0/V. ~---­ MCI WORLDCOM Go ahead, be a know-it-all -write for News. Call Tracy at x1260. ~· .. .., ... THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS January 26, 1999 PAGE3 SAD.. . BUT TRUE

It's amazing ho'' many of the true sto­ Weekly and Student ~ledia employees. '' ith a baseball bat and attempting to ries we hear today "ound as though they Super Glue his penis to hi" leg after he came '>traight from a sitcom. You've Springer Strikes Back allegedly admitted he wa. mtercsted in heard them all tx·forc: the man who rec­ In May. \\hen New York City sixth grade her only for sex. tally massages elephants to collect spcnn: teacher Ms. Ai~hah Ahmad, 44. declined to the restaurant that was closed down be­ switch the classroom TV set from educational Necrophilia in Blue cause a certain talented stripper shot un­ programming to "The Jcn·y Springer Show," In June. retired Missouri Highway Pa­ sanit:u; ping pong balls acro!is the room: four girls aged II and 12 pounced on her and trol investigator Jack Merrill told report­ Bin Laden Suspected Behind Bomb Plot the criminal that \\as so stupid he at­ beat her up. sending her to the hospital. ers he had si nee destroyed the 1994 pho­ Indian police say su~pccted teJTOrist 0sama tempted to drive a car with no wheels in A month before that. Joseph Calorc. a high tograph he admitted pia) fully taking of bin Laden wa.., behind a plot to bomb the U.S. order to outrun the polrce. school student in Stratford, Connecticut. li led Christian County sheriff Steve WhitnC) Embassy and two American consular offices Here's our challenge to )ou: four of a lawsuit agatnst the school because it kept touclung a murder\ ictim's breast during in the country. local newspapers reported the Springer shtm on in the cla-.sroom dur­ an autopsy. the five reports below an: totally tn1e. The Wednesday. ing an exam. Accordmg Calore, fight on Mark Calebs. 31, was arrested in July other little ttdhit wa' mastcrfull) created to a 111e State Department expressed grave con­ by our ,taff member.- in an attempt to sec the sho"' provoked another student to punch in London, Ky.• and charged\\ ith break­ cern \\cdnt:..-.day 0\cr the reported threat. and just hov. many lies the pres" can feed you Calore and break his jaw. ing mto the House-Ra'' lings Funeral an emba."y :.pokeswoman said U.S. counter­ before you notice. Each \\cek. we ''ant Home to steal the underpants from the terrorism expcrb were in the Indian capital as­ )OU to tell us '' hich story you think is The Power of Suds body of a 9-year-old girl who had died ~"'ing the alleged plot. just too much to believe. If you guess cor­ In February. the Kloscr hrcwer} 1n of cancer. The rcporb said teJTOrists had targeted the rectly, you'll be entered 11110 that week's NueLClle. Germany. announced it would soon U.S. Emba.•;sy and con:.ulates in the southern dra\~ mg to \\in various pnzcs. begin selling dark beer <.:oncentrate for foam Stop, Drop and Spit city of ~ladras and the eastern city of Calcutta To enter. \\rite d()\\ n the headline of baths and eczema treatment. ·111c nc\\ prod­ In Lucketts. Virginia. local volunteer The attacks were reportedly to have taken place the stor) you belic\e to be false. your uct differs from beer only in that the yeast is firefighters \\ere momentarily ~tartled before a national holiday on Jan. 26. name, class rank (if) ou'rc a student. al­ left in, creating its skin-soothing quality. when a trash can containing cigarette though you arc not required to be) and a "You can bathe in it or drink it. Whoever wants ashes. located in the firehouse. caught Search forM/As in Southeast Asia number or e-mail address where we can to, can do both," owner Helmut FtiLc;chc said. fire. Fire Captain Lewis Murdock. 34. U.S. and Laotian experts will excavate reach you. Entries must be received by was the first to respond to the emergency 10 sites over the next three weeks where the remains of American servicemen miss­ Friday at noon each week. Entries can Sticky Business and, using his critical thinking skills de­ ing in action from the Vietnam War are be e-mailcd to [email protected] or As a follow-up to several older reports of veloped at the local training academy, believed to be buried. dropped off in person at The Retriever husbands Super Gluing their wives' genitals quickly doused the flames with the first There arc 2,076 Americans still unac­ Weekly office. This week's winner will together in retaliation for alleged extramari­ avai !able reservoir of liquid -- his chew­ counted for in southeast Asia. including 446 receive first dibs on next week's free tal affairs, News of the Weird recently re­ ing tobacco. lost in Laos. Most were airmen bombing ported on t.he continuation of this trend. Using mark.<:manship skills developed mo\ ie passes. That means no having to the Ho Chi Minh Trail - which ran in part fight the crowd during free hour on In April 1998, Richard McDonald. 32, was from long hours of spitting practice. through Laos to stop North Vietnam from Wednesday. arrested in Rock Island. Ill.. for Super Glu­ Lewis said he doused the blaze in only moving troops and supplies to the south. As usual. the contest is open to all of ing his girlfriend's genitalia. fn July. in East two squirts. our readers in the campus community Hampton. Mass.. Ms. Kim M. Bonafilia. 34, "This job takes a lot of hard work.'' NATO Warns Serbs to Stop Fighting with the exclusion of The Retriever was charged with assaulting her ex-boyfriend Murdock said. Serb forces battled ethnic Albanian rebels in northwestern Kosovo last Wednesday as both sides ignored KATO warnings to halt the fighting. At least two guerrillas were killed and a Police Strive for Greater Visibility Serb mother and her two children were re­ ported injured. from POLTCE, page 1 sues that affect the university at large." Lewis more on the business at hand__: getting an Each side blamed the other for starting the said. education. fighting. Serb police said the Kosovo Lib­ of," Lewis explained, "people aren't walk­ With their priority being to ensure the se­ In order to create a new public image, the eration Army rebels began shooting when ing on top of each other." curity of those who work at and attend campus police are attempting to be more vis­ officers entered a nearby village to search for "Organizationally, we can actually feel like UMBC, Lewis noted the implications. ible and in constant contact with the campus guenillas who wounded five policemen two a police department," he added. "We have a "I put myself in the parents' shoes; the par­ community. days earlier. station ... [and) we have the administration to ents entrust the safety of their children in our "It's a whole new philosophy... [to) out­ There has been concern that the 750 or so thank for that." hands. It's an awesome responsibility." he reach more into t.he UMBC community," international monitors could be held as hos­ The officers moved to the new station last said. Lewis said, noting that t.he police plan on tages if NATO carries through with threat­ November, and the Physical Plant relocated Additionally, by making students feel more being more visible in t.he residential areas, ened airstrikes. A French-led NATO rapid reaction force is stationed in Macedonia to to a larger building behind the warehouses secure, Lewis added, they are able to focus the administrative buildings and throughout execute the mission if necessary. on Poplar Ave. the cam us as a whole. There are sti ll renovations to be made to China Charges Distributor of E­ the police station. Plans are being made to The NeuroBehavioral Unit (NBU) of the Mail Addresses refurbish a workroom for the officers, the Kennedy Krieger Institute is seeking appli­ China extended its crackdown on dissent conference room will be refurnished and cants in the fields of Psychology, Special into cyberspace for the first time Wednes­ some restrooms are being modified. Addi­ 1 ~K-enn-e•d•yliiKrillilllll'ege._.rlillns-....ti.tu.te• Education or Early Childhood Education for day, sentencing a software entrepreneur to tionally, the officers intend to install lighting two years in prison for giving e-mail ad­ outside the station, and to mount the sign let­ the position of Clinical Assistant. dresses to dissidents abroad. The accused was ters from the old facility. Clinical Assistants provide patient supervi­ arrested last March after he gave e-mail ad­ "Something old, something new," noted dresses of30,000 Chinese computer users to Detective Corporal Eber Greene. "It will take sion 24 hours a day and are responsible for implementing behavioral and "VIP Reference," a pro-democracy journal time to g~t it 100 percent," he added. educational protocols, data collection, assisting with self-care activities, published on the Internet by Chinese dissi­ However, this cosmetic facelift is only a and ensuring patient safety. dents in the United States. small part of the campus police's overall Subversion is among China's most seri­ change. An attempt is being made to change This is an excellent position for individuals interested in gaining experi­ ous crimes and is normally used against po­ their image in the eyes of the campus com­ ence needed to be competitive for graduate school. The Kennedy Krieger litical dissidents. Lin Hai, 30, was convicted munity as well, according to Lewis. This in­ Institute also offers full-time employees comprehensive benefits which of subversion in a case that highlighted cludes what Lewis described as "community China's conflicting efforts to include tuition reimbursement, medical and dental insurance. promote Internet use for business and edu­ partnerships with the police department." cation at the same time it is stamping out po­ By attempting to establish relationships litical activity. with the community, instead of showing up Individuals interested in this Kennedy Krieger Institute Lin was fined $1,200 and "the tools of his only when something goes wrong, the police important opportunity should Departrtunt ofHuman Resources crime" were ordered to be confiscated: two are working to break the stigma surrounding forward their resume and a cover 707 North Broadway desktop computers, one laptop computer. a uniformed professions, he explained. letter to the address provided. Baltimore, MD 21205 modem and a telephone. "[We] work to solve the concerns and is- PAGE4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS January 26, 1999 ''Excessive Consu01ption of Alcohol'' Linked to Stabbing from STABBING, page 1 A large amount of blood had collected and Neal's hand­ congealed on the lobby floor. written supple­ aware of the time. Blackstone [sic] stated that Blackistone appeared to be unaware of the mental report everyone appeared to be in a good mood." full situation, but wa<> able to mention "aliens" indicated that Blackistone, himself, does not remember and direct the policeman to the third south the two officers a sizable portion of the evening. High levels hallway. Both Keenan and Blackistone had backed off after of alcohol, loss of blood and shock may have watched Alien: Resurrection that evening and Keenan came contributed to his incomplete recollection. several days before, Keenan had allegedly down from the "l was able to remember up to the event," viewed the entire Alien saga during a "mara­ sill into the he said. "I remember running down to the thon" showing. poorly lit room, lobby afterwards." Witness accounts fur­ A distinct blood trial wound from the lobby reached for an nished by the campus police provide a lim­ up a staircase to the top floor hallway. and unidentified ob­ ited view of the events during Blackistone's soon after climbing the stairway to the floor. ject and said: memory lapse. Lee and Private First Class Becky Neal heard "I'm going to Between 4 and 5 a.m. on Dec. 6, one wit­ the sounds of screaming, shattering glass, up­ kill you, ness in the report noted hearing evidence of ended futniture and obscenities coming from fucker.'' a violent struggle and voices yelling, "'You the interior of room 314. Neal and Lee or­ L 0 r i e n Jason Putschc I Retriever Weekly Staff stabbed me!', 'Are you the Devil!', 'I'm Satin dered the resident to emerge, in vain. The Walley, a fresh- Grisly Remnants: Blood-spattered glass was flung from the [sic]!', 'I'm bleeding, Help, Help!"' The police discovered the room's external door man art major, window of 314 Chesapeake. same observer opened his door and saw locked and barricaded, preventing entry. A was in one of the Blackistone crawl on all fours from room second door leading into a bathroom shared third floor rooms as the situation occurred. shaJiow cuts on the back of his hands. He 3 l 4, dripping blood on the floor and "en­ with room 312 was also locked. "[I heard] someone screaming in the hall, was treated for his injuries and released on tangled in the lamp" that Keenan allegedly Neal was able to kick the hallway door but thought it was just some drunken fools," January 7. hurled at him as he fled. open wide enough to view Keenan perched she said. "When it didn't stop I finally got up Keenan was treated at St. Agnes Hospital Also crawling on his hands and knees, on the sill of a shattered window. The fresh­ to go out and yell at them to shut up, but there for a L 1/2" cut to his left hand and a more Keenan, still armed with the knife, entered man was soaked in blood and visibly enraged. was a cop in the hallway with a gun. She was serious 2 112" laceration around his right wrist the hallway shortly after Blackistone. Keenan He chattered about aliens. A Criminal Inves­ crouching behind a protruding wall. She (figures are approximate). He was placed spotted the witness, "and said 'Fuck!'" ac­ tigation Report filed by Corporal Maurice Lee yelled at us to get back in the room.'' under sedation due to his violent and com­ cording to the reports. mentions Keenan threatened harm to himself Baltimore County Police officers, bative behavior at the hospital, in addition to Shortly after, campus police received a call and the officers. prompted by a complaint that officers were the previous sedation administered at the as­ about an injured individual in the Chesapeake "The suspect made the statement, 'Before "being held at gun point," joineq the campus sault scene. As of 6:30a.m., Keenan's blood dormitory. Corporal Maurice Lee arrived at the aliens get me, I will kill myself!' ... leaned police gathered outside room 314. Their com­ alcohol level was recorded as being ex­ the residence hall around 5:11 a.m. and saw backwards toward the outside, appearing bined strength proved enough to dislodge the tremely high. Blackistone lying in the lobby, near the front close to falling out the third floor window. barricade and bash open Keenan's door. The lobby. south wing stairwell, the 3rd desk. Blackistone was bleeding copiously "The suspect then leaned forward and be­ Keenan was coaxed from the bathroom, sub­ South hallway and rooms 312 and 314 in from two neck lacerations, while several sru­ gan throwing shards of glass ... at Cpl. Lee dued, restrained and sent via ambulance to Chesapeake were designated separate crime dents, one an Emergency Medical Techni­ and Pfc. Neal." A frre/rescue unit was then St. Agnes Hospital. scenes, cordoned off with tape around 7:15 cian, attempted to staunch the flow of blood. called. Watson, who lives three doors down from a.m. and guarded by police officers. The Bal­ Keenan also witness the commotion. timore County Crime Lab arrived at Chesa­ "(I] peeked outside and saw the cops. It peake Hall to process the scene and gather took about four cops to bold him down," she evidence. stated. "It was forcible, definitely. At that "Everything was completely messed up." point he was not at all mentally stable." remarked Walley, who caught an early morn­ ing glimpse of the inside of room 314. "Glass The Aftermath shards and blood were everywhere. Brian's A Baltimore County Police officer accom­ bed was pulled out He had taken the clothes panied the ambulance escorting Keenan to out of the closet and strewn them around. St. Agnes. According to statements made by There was blood smeared on the walls ... Brian the officer and included in the Criminal Re­ overturned the desk to barricade the door. port: "Keenan ·s eyes appeared glassy and the Basically, everything was trashed.'' pupils were dilated.,. He continued to behave A Baltimore County Police Department in a loud and violent manner, trying to spit document lists as evidence recovered from on the officer while making vehemem excla­ room 314: one bloody Gerber lock back mations about the slashing in terms consis­ knife; the aforementioned vodka bottle con­ tent with the Alien films, in which the lead taining a "small amount of pinkish liquid character refers to aliens living within hu­ wiU1in;'' three nearly empty beer bottles, and mans and bursting their way through the rib a variety of prescription and non-prescription cage. pills. "I had to cut out the alien in him and me!" UMBC Interim Police Chief John Cook the report quoted Keenan having said. "They blamed Keenan's behavior solely on alcohol are all over the place, they've impregnated abuse. us aU ... Are you the man, or are you an alien "To point at anything other than the exces­ Domino's® Pizza Serving: in disguise ... I had to cut it out ... The aliens sive consumption of alcohol is wrong," he are going to kill us-me!"' said. According to reports, Keenan also stated: All five felony charges against Brian WE ACCEPT UMBC "You don't understand ... I had to cut it out Keenan were recently upheld in a prelimi­ COMPmTOR'S of him before it was born ... The alien is nary hearing. The charges include first de­ COUPONS! 410·1112·3030 within him and me ... The aliens are here." gree attempted murder. two counts of reck­ Keenan informed the medics and police of­ less endangerment, a weapons charge and ficer that he "was not human," and had "been first degree assault. Both charges of reckless rl~~:~~~-~~~~~r~~~~~l on other planets." Additionally, Keenan de­ endangerment stem from the bloodied glass : ~ : ' • : ! clared his intention to '"kill all of you fuckers shards Keenan flung at campus officers. L ··. · i Jl ••• • ~ ~ ~ ·:. i I for what you are doing to me!"' The total cost for the crime scene cleanup Blackistone was taken to the University of and restoration was estimated to be $ll ,000 Maryland Medical System Shock Trauma by Greene, lead investigator on the case for ~ ~ S5''~~ro. i~ ~ S6''~~ro. 11• · ~ S9''~u•T•• i 1I U unit in Baltimore City. His elbows and knees the UMBC police department. UMBC has not I; ANY MEDIUM I 0 ANY LARGE ·~ ANY ll were marked with rug burns. Besides the lac­ determined who will be held responsible for I i 1-TOPPING J ~ 1-TOPPING l•i TWO MEDIUM I, erations to his neck, Blackistone also had six the damages. A PIZZA f PIZZA .. : ~ l-TOPPING PIZZASf I~ Dlf•rExpirw~ June 1999~ OlferExplrw~ June1ggg ~ ~ OlferExplrw• June 1999! I " ! - s 1- ! I I \ 00 r r~ I~ m!H .______I 7"'-w~I'Q~.,._.,....,.tMI:J/..L ------~~...,'*"".f'O~ ...... "I' L'~~l'l()~.-..."""'"Wd.,______. I January 26, 1999 PAGES

Emily Bernstein thinks that Cngress Read someone's diary, Jessica 6 needs to re-evaluate its priorities Rothfus tells you how to do it 8 Ray Dubicki disagrees ... and that's Seven people were at UMBC last 7 what the opinion section is all about OPINION week, we talked to five of them 9

~I-I E ETRIEVER Six Ye'ars Aso in WEEKLY C)Fte ~triever Editor-in-Chief Opinion Editor General Manager Jennifer Siciliano Emily Bernstein Raymond Dubicki

nre New RetrieverWeekly With the new semester and the new year. we at The Retriever Weekly have made some changes to improve the quality of the newspaper and our relations with each other and with our readers. We hope that you enjoy the fruits of these changes. The new Retriever Weekly shall strive to engage the campus community with exciting new features such as student and faculty profiles, guest columns, environmental updates, time-saving tips and comprehensive investigations of University policy and operations. The newspaper bas united with UMBC Student Media to facilitate our interaction with other campus media organizations and with the outside world, and to provide more employ­ ment opportunities to interested students. This cooperation enforces a strict division of edi­ torial and business duties, enabling us to focus on quality journalism with a larger staff of writers. We have imposed a strict production schedule to assist us in providing you with an excellent student newspaper in a timely manner. Lastly, we have elected new management to ensure that we remain devoted to the realization of these goals. The Retriever Weekly you knew last semester is no more. It has been reformed, restruc­ tured and rededicated to its purpose: to inform the public honestly of current and relevant events. to offer cogent commentary on these issues, to stand vigilant against injustice and to provide students with a voice in the campus community. We are committed to upholding these principles in the upcoming semester with the support of an attentive and active reader­ ship. As always, we welcome your opinion and thank you for the time and thought you invest in this publication. A Little Bit Louder Now Amidst the wide variety of opinions on Clinton, there is one thing that is certain in all our minds. Only one president has been impeached since the constitution was written back in 1787, and chances are you won't see this happen again during your lifetime. Unless you were just beamed down from Mars, you have some idea of what's going on and you probably have some opinion on it. If you're like us, you've been doing one of two things to deal with this whole Clinton issue. Either you've been spouting off to you anyone that will listen how much you agree/disagree, or you're whining about how sick all the press coverage is making you. If you belong to the ftrst category, why not put this passionate energy to good use by writing to your congressmen and letting them know how you feel. Remind them what the word "constituent" means. If you fall into the second category, why not look at this event as a chance to learn something you may not have known about our government. How many of you knew the true definition of impeachment before this all happened? How many of you are now clear on what an impeachable offense is or where you can lind a list of them (you ... This photo was on the front page of this newspaper. may be surprised when you discover the answer)? Welcome to the new Retriever Weekly. As long as you are a citizen of the U.S., you have a responsibility to ensure that our democratic republic maintains a standard set by the majority. Whether or not you choose to act on this responsibility and help set that standard can be decided right now. Elaine Elgamil ...... _Managing Editor The Retriever Weekly staffeditorials reflect Trdcy Soltesz ...... News Editor the views of the editorial board: signed col­ Bacl~ So Soon? Gabe Marcus ...... Asst. News Editor umns represent the opinion£ of the individual Welcome back, students, faculty and employees! A new year is dawning at UMBC and so Jessica Rothfus ...... Asst. Opinion Editor writers and do not necessarily reflect those far, the slate is clean. That doesn't mean the year is going to stay pristine and unmarred; Vcrgil Bushnell ...... Focus Editor of The Retriever Weekly or the University of however, there are steps you can take to ensure your year continues with as few bruises as Christina Sabato ...... Features Editor Maryland Baltimore County. possible. Begin the semester by going to all of the classes you actually registered for. If a John Roemer ...... Asst. Features Editor Letters to the editors are printed verbatim. class was closed when you tried to register. go to it anyway. to see if the professor has pity on Chris Kerner ...... Sports Editor although the editors reserve the right to edit you. Many students drop classes in the first few weeks. leaving seats open for others. Andy Smullian ...... Asst. Sports Editor any lener deemed lengthy. repetitive. libel­ ' Even if you're set to graduate several semesters from now, don't put off what you can take Amy Banowetz ...... Photography Editor ous or otherwise in need of revision. The care of now. There's nothing worse than finding yourself at the beginning of your last se­ Dave Chen ...... Asst. Photo. Editor editors further reserve the right not to print mester with two gym classes left to take and a foreign language to learn. Chances are, you'll Kim Brossard ...... Production Manager any letter for any reason. Letters to the Edi­ have too hectic a schedule your senior year to worry about classes not pertaining to your Jamie Peck ...... Production Assistant tor must be typed or written legibly and in­ major, and you'll kick yourself for not taking GER or GFR requirements sooner. Carl Gehrman ...... Production Assistant clude the author's name and telephone num­ Get involved on campus now. Learn to shoot pool and shark everyone at the Gameroom. Autumn Patterson ...... Production Assistant ber. Letters must be received by 3 p.m. on Join a club and discover a slew of people who share your interests. Join the radio station and Rabiah Mayas ...... Production Assistant Wednesday and may nol exceed 400 words. become a world-renowned OJ. Join The Retriever Weekly and become the next Woodward Amber Aurich ...... Copy Editor The Retriever Weekly subscribes to U-Wire (we already have a Bernstein). Stephen Lctschin ...... Technology Manager You're at school in Baltimore. If you're new to the area. get to know your town. If you're and publisheli weekly on Tuesdays during the a hon to begin with. take renewed interest in Charm City. Visit the Inner Harbor. check out Rose Tipitino ······---···---· Adverti£ing Manager regular school year. Editors can be reached Port Discovery. revel in the glory that ts ESPN Zone. Go to the aquarium. Take an interest in Maricle Gormley ...... Ad Representative at 455-1260 during normal business hours the world around you. Pick up a newspaper. Watch the news. Tunc in to C -SPAN and find Deb VanDercedt ...... Business Manager or at University Center 214. 1000 Hilltop out if we have a president. When someone asks you what you think about the crisis is the John Smtth ...... Circulation Manager Circle, UMBC. Baltimore, MD 21250. The Middle Ealit, have an answer other than "Why? Whafs going on in North Carolina?" It'll Cameron Slayden ...... Cartoonist Retrierer ~~·ekly is an equal opponuniL} em­ make you smarter, more conversational and you'll get all the pie pieces in Trivial Pursuit. Christopher Corbett ...... Faculty Adviser ployer. This semester. resolve to make changes. You don't have to be a completely different per­ son in May. Just have fun between now and then. PAGE6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION January 26, 1999 The American People Don't Want It - and Rightfully So All National Opinion Polls Stand By Ending Impeachment; The Senate Should Be Listening sexual harassment and was actually guilty of and citizens of myriad other nations are gap. and come to a speedy resolution that is Emily Bernstein it (which I don't believe Clinton was in the laughing at us. not because they think Clinton in accord with the wishes of the American Jones case) he could lie and say he didn't, is a bad guy, but because they're amazed public. then get convicted anyway. After he was con­ we're paying so much attention to all of this. We can saiCl) assume that Clinton will not It was almost exactly one year ago that the \ icted, he wouldn't be charged with perjury. Former President of France Francois be thro\\n out of office because it is increas­ allegations that President Clinton asked even though the nature of the decision would Minerand had a mistress and at least one ingly unlikely that the Senate will be able to Monica Lewinsky to lie under oath about necessitate the conclusion that he had lied un­ i lligitimate child, and no one seemed to mind. muster the necessary two-thirds majonty. their relationship first surfaced. Whitewater der oath. If he was not convicted, the only Britain's foreign secretary Robin Cook actu­ Still, this needs to end as quickly as possible Special Council Ken Starr, when he couldn't reason then to go after him for perjury would ally left his wife for his mistress, but he con- so the nation can move on to more important find anything else to usc against Clinton, kept ti nued in office with no matters li ke social securi ty, education and for­ digging and digging with shovels made of hassle. eign affairs. our tax money to find something-anything "The constitution is vague on the 'high crimes Moreover, Shortly after the articles of impeachment - to bring him down. According to the Gen­ Clinton is not the first were delivered to the Senate by Henry Hyde eral Accounting Office, a total of$53,135,650 and misdemeanors' that merit impeachm-ent, United States president and other House Judiciary Committee Repub­ has been spent investigating Clinton, culmi­ and the framers made it that way for a reason. involved in a sex scan­ licans. Clinton-with his vice president and nating in the infamous 453-page Starr report. Values change, and the values ofthe American dal - about one-third his wife at his side- vowed to serve "until That's $117,297.24 per page. of the presidents have And now here we arc. The United States people right now put having an effective had affairs, actuaJiy, in­ Senate is in the process of conducting a trial president above the moral concerns ofhaving cluding Washington, to decide if the president should be removed Lincoln and Kennedy. from office for obstruction of justice and per­ a president who had an affair." Clinton is also not the jury before a grand jury, the two articles of only person currently impeachment that survived the House vote be as an attempt to catch him for anything holding national office who has had a fling on December 19. However. there is no con­ possible. That would not happen to an ordi­ on the side. The double standard here is clear. crete evidence of obstruction of justice, and nary man: it would only happen to a man yet the trial continues based on an alleged lie the charge of perjury all comes down to ter­ holding a high position such as the presi­ about something that shouldn't even have minology. That in mind. a reasonable doubt dency. been investigated in the lirst place. exists, and therefore this trial should be laid Bob Livingston. next in line to be Speaker In the Senate, the debate has been framed by the House managers as a criminal one. And now they have to stick by it. even though it really became an issue under the guise of moral policing. The job of the Senate in this trial is not to decide guilt or mnocence- that has already been done by the Republican party (alone) in the House. The job of the Senate, with very little prccident to follow. is to determine if the articles of impeachment warrant removing Clinton from office. The constitution is vague on the "high crimes and misdemeanors" that merit impeachment, and POINT the framers made it that way for a reason. the last hour of the last day of my term." Values change, and the values of the Ameri­ But "Can He Still Lead?" asked a headline can people right now put having an effective across the top of a recent issue of Newsweek. president above the moral concerns of hav­ The answer, according to the American ing a president who had an affair. people, is an overwhelming yes. As of De­ Seventy percent of Americans believe the cember 20, 72 percent of people polled be­ primary consideration of our representatives lieved that Clinton could be an effective presi­ should be the desires of their constituents. dent for his last two years. He has already Why then, was the impeachment in the House proven he can work under extraordinary pres­ done so staunchly along party lines? In ana­ sure. Presiding: Chief Justice Rehnquist of the Supreme Court overlooks the Senate chamber. tional Gallup poll from November I, only 27 In an interview on National Public Radio percent ofAmerican adults believed that Con­ on January 21. 1998 Clinton said, "I just have to rest as quickly as possible. which is what of the House, resigned because he claimed gress should impeach Bill Clinton. Oddly to put this distraction in a little box and get the majority of Americans hope will happen. he wanted to tell the truth about his marital enough, 52 percent of the members of the on with doing the work of the nation."That's In fairness. though. there are many Ameri­ transgressions. It was clearly a tactical move House voted in favor of impeachment. ff our what he needs to do, and he has proven. de­ cans who do believe Clinton ""iUfully lied - amid rumors that he would be one of the congressmen and women were really con­ cisively. that he can. Now it's up to the Sen­ under oath about his relationship with the politicians whose flings were featured in Hus­ cerned with representing the opinions of their ate to let him. former White House intern. The real ques­ tler- made in the hopes that his oh-so-noble constituents, this sort of gap would not exist tion, then, is does this warrant removing act would be recognized as an example to and the impeachment never would have hap­ Emily Bemstein is the opinion editor ofThc Clinton from the office of president? Cer­ Clinton and, more subtley, as a show of the pened. It is up to the Senate to bridge this Retriever Weekly. tainly, it does not. dignity of the Republican party. Thanks to these recent events, impeach­ The tactic was not effective. TheRe­ ment has now become a tool that the major­ publican party is still widely seen as ity party in congress can use against a presi­ handling the whole matter the wrong dent of the other party. This is ridiculous. way. trying to be too high and mighty Impeachment should be reserved for only the and moral. blind to the wishes of the most serious of offenses - those which put American people. AJso disappointing our nation in jeopardy. Clinton may or may to the Republicans is the fact that not be a player, but he is undoubtedly a fine Livingston's action did nothing to president. change the minds of 84 percent of A huge number of Americans have had af­ population about whether Clinton fairs, and have lied about them, and would should resign. Also consider that if have lied about them had a lawyer badgered Livingston had been in line to be them about the affairs in a court of law. Most speaker four years ago. he wouldn't people recognize this, which can explain. in have said a word about his affairs. It part, the results of every recent opinion poll simply wouldn't have been an issue that show that on the whole Americans are in over which one could lose everything, favor of letting the matter go. and he'd have had no reason to think The argument that any ordinary citizen it would become a big issue. would be charged with perjury if he or she And if the rest of the world is any lied about something like this is bunk. Face kind of example, sexual exploits it. if any ordinary man was charged with should not be such an issue. Leaders THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION January 26, 1999 PAGE?

The Case Should Be Open and Shut, Clinton Is No Longer Fit for His Office tards were. The Constitution. in the Dubicki Democrat's eyes, is a dynamic and changing Ray document, subject to the cultural norms of the day. Now, when a strict interpretation of Through Whitewater, Travelgate , "high crimes and misdemeanors" can save Troopergate. Filegate, Gennifer. Paula and their Party's president, the Democrats return Kathleen. William Je!Terson Cli nton has wea­ Thomas Jefferson and George Washington to seled himself out of one sticky spot after an­ their station as visionaries. l suggest instead other. Teflon just doesn't describe it. a strict interpretation of right and wrong. Of Now Monica hangs as the knife that could course that would end with Clinton out of slice through the thread that's holding Clinton office. u1 office. But. if the trend continues. Cli nton will slide out of this one too. His aquittal or censure would be a miscarrage of justice. The "Clinton has courted and facts of the case are clear. Clinton parsed cajoled and manipulated the phrases and manipulated words to circum­ Pointing Fingers: Senator Phil Gramm (left) and House Judiciary Committee vent any discovery of his deeds and to cover media so often during his term Henry Hyde are adamantly in favor of removing President Clinton from office. further the extent to which he attempted to in office that the media finaUy hide them. He did so in two sworn deposi­ got him back. He made his tions. This is perjury and obstruction of jus­ Any Less Would Be Unjust tice. personal life public as often as Perjury Is Perjury, No Matter How You Slice It The Senate has seen in the past that per­ it served his interests. Clinton from office and/or disqualification from fu­ jury is grounds for impeachment of a federal ture office - while saying not a word about judge. Now is time to prove that the presi­ acted shocked when that George C. Kiser censure or a flne. dent is not above the Jaw. But there are a openness about personal Attempting to head off ouster by the Sen­ handful of half-truths being propagated by matters bit him on the rump." If the Senate falls to remove Bill Clinton ate, Clinton enthusiasts have noted that he Clinton's handlers on his staff and within the from office, is it in effect saying that presi­ may be punished by the regular courts once Democratic party. These false perceptions Additionally, this is not a Constitutional dential perjury is acceptable? Of course not, he's out of office. This option offers virtu­ stand in the way of justice being served. crisis. This is the Constitution at wotk. When say his supporters, for, with or without re­ ally no prospect of punishment, although, to First, Democrats would have us believe an individual in a leadership position per­ moval, his punishment will be severe. A be sure, the Constitution provides that even that all of these problems are caused by a vin­ forms some wrongdoing, he or she should closer look suggests that these lesser punish­ a President removed by lhe Senate is "sub­ dictive little judge named Ken Starr. This is be removed. Such a problem has arisen and ments are so unlikely or so non-punitive that ject to indictment, trial, judgement and pun­ wrong. Clinton brought much of this on him­ it is being dealt with as prescribed in law, not the only meaningful remedy is removal from ishment according to law." But even if the self. Just like Gary Hart did when he dared with bloodshed or riots or looting. The Con­ office. Senate deal doesn't ignore this constitutional the press corps to follow him, then went on a stitution will survive so long as it is adhered Somethmg akin to a plea agreement ap­ principle, with Clinton's immense popular­ tryst with Donna Rice, Clinton himself swung to. That means that such piecemeal and un­ pears to be a real possibility. The Senate ity and mass of angry supporters. there is vir­ wide the doors on his personal life for all to constitutional antidotes like censure are out would censure and, perhaps, fine the Presi­ tually no chance !hat any jury would convict see. Does anyone remember the famous of the question. dent. He might be expected to admit lying him. And if it did, courts just don't deal "boxers or briefs" question? Finally, the Democrats make the argument under oath, which could subject him to later harshly with first-time, non-violent offend­ Clinton has courted and cajoled and ma­ that the people support the president. as prosecution, but there has reportedly been ers. nipulated the media so often during his term shown in his high poll numbers. Once again, talk of the Senate forbidding the courts to try Many Clinton supporters would retort that in office that the media flnally got him back. this is a case of the Democratic party twist­ him. my arguments ignore the fact that impeach­ He made his personal life public as often as ing the truth to make it palatable to them­ There is no tough punishment here. Impo­ ment in and of itself is a terrible punishment, selves. If poUs ran the coun­ sition of even a huge fine would be essen­ a badge of shame that will forevertamish Bill try, late term abortions and tially meaningless. The President, after all, Clinton and his presidency. But this appar­ taxes would be illegalized as is a legendary fund-raiser. and angry support­ ent truism may. in fact. be more misleading per the citizen's wishes. Both COUNTERPOINT ers would undoubtedly contribute, enthusi­ than informative. The fact is that Clinton is register over 80 percent ap­ astically, to his cause. far more popular than the Republican domi­ proval each time the polls are As for censure, it is really a non-punish­ nated House that impeached him. If impeach­ run. At last count, Clinton approval stood ment designed to make the public thillk offi­ ment brought disgrace to the President, why around the 70 percent mark. Who is he to cials are held to the same standards it is. was he recently found to be the most admired stand in the way oftbe wishes of the people? While Joe Six pack could get up to five years man in the country? Why has his public ap­ Time and time again, the same people that ill prison for each count of perjury, Clinton proval soared with each new revelation, while are coming to the President's aid lament ab­ would just be told that be bas violated the lhe Congress has grown increasillgly unpopu­ sence of conviction among our elected offi­ rules of the game and the Senate, at least for lar? cials. Now, when a group of those leaders do the record, disapproves. In other words: ''Mr. Tn sum, we are on the verge of"getting this resolve to do the right thing for this country· President, you did wrong and got caught." matter behind us"- by letting Clinton walk and remove Clinton from office, they fall into Even if one accepts the premise that cen­ free and, in the process, establishing the prin­ the crosshairs of one of the most vicious and sure is tough medicine, it is not necessarily ciple that perjury by any President, not just mean-spirited attacks in this nation's history. permanent. There is precedent for a later Con­ this one, is no big deal. Mill ion-dollar bounties are put on their heads. gress reversing censure imposed by an ear­ High-priced lawyers are loosed upon !hem lier one - in the case of President Andrew Dr. George C. Kiser is an associate profes­ on national television. Jackson. While one might naturally expect a sor of political science at Illinois State Uni­ The Republicans did not ask for Clinton to later De mocratic Congress to rescind versity. drop his pants for Monica. That was Clinton's Clinton's censure, even a future Republican own doing. The Republicans did not ask for Congress might decide it's time to cut its Clinton to perjure himself in front of the losses and join the national consensus to "get grand jury. That was also his own doing. And this matter behind us." iL served his interests. Just like Gary Hart. the Republicans did not ask to be put in the Courts, too. might erase <.:cnst1re. Clinton Clinton acted shocked when that openness position to remove a sitting presidcm from forces have already noated the argument that about personal matters bit him on the rump. office. But Clinton ·s actions and his refusal impeachment by the outgoing House andre­ Instead of realizing that it \\as hi~ mvn do­ to take responsibility for them have forced moval by the incoming Senate would be un­ ing, Clinton blameu Ken Starr. just such a decision. constitutional. That's not so different. is it, Se<.:ond, the Democrat'> argue that we It is time for Congress to act in a "spirit of t'rom arguing that impeachment in one ses­ shouldn't C\en be hm ing this debate. If we bipartisianship." Democrats should stop SIOn of Congress and censure m the next 1s hat! hc.:cn foliO\\ in!! \\hat the l·ounding Fa­ stone \\::tiling and join\\ ith the Republican .. also unconstitutional'> thers \On' ision~.:d. \\ e \HHJid not be 111 thts to oust ('I nton Btll (linton conspir d to An addltJ0'1al concern that mtght convtncc Con lll1lion tlln 1s. 11us t bl I n hd

ORL Needs Work in Crisis Manage01ent Sending out a call to all those involved in campus organizations seen on the balcony. I Iuman to speak out about their issues ... Robin Elgamil blood streaked the othel'\vise blank walls as Y.ell as the cold tile 11oor. Al though I After spending a mther unexciting evening knew that the situation was at my parents' house. I returned to rn) dor­ anything but planned. I felt mitory. Chesapeake Hall. around noon the as if I had interrupted the S.O.S. next day. A pillow tucked under my arm and filming of Homicide. a laundry bag full of clean clothes in my "What happened? h ev­ (Student Organizations Speak) hands, I walked toward the front of the build­ erything okay? Is unyonc ing with a friend of mine who had greeted hurt?" I asked one of the The Retriever Weeki\' is looking for submis­ me at my car. desk staff members. Having sions for SOS. the new student organizations "Can you believe what happened?" he been instructed to offer no column in the Opinion section. We welcome asked as I admired the proximity of my park­ details. she only calmly ex­ submissions from all student organizations. ing space to the building. Noticing the blank plained that the situation was clubs, teams, associations, coalitions. councils. societies. commissions and so forth. expression on rn) face, he proceeded to ask under control. that everyone a series of questions, "When were you last would be okay and that we Submissions should be between 600 and 950 here? Have you been here this morning? Did were in no danger. words and should represent the position of the you hear what happened?" I heard a variety of con­ organization as a whole, not just of the person A few minutes earlier I had noticed a po­ trasting yet credible rumors, writing. Pieces should focus on a particular is­ lice car parked in front of the dorm, but it but no one would provide us sue of interest to the organization and the cam­ was anything but unusual. With the police with information on what pus community as a whole. For example, the station located on campus. police are often had really happened. Resi­ Students for Environmental Awareness could seen patrolling around, ensuring the safety dents as well as concerned write something about new recycling coming of residents and commuters alike. I explained parents turned to the media to campus; the Muslim Students Association to my friend that I had spent the previous for answers, learning that could write an opinion on how current turmoil night at horne, doing laundry and relaxing. two students were injured in in the Middle East affects students on cam­ I pus; the English Council of Majors could dis­ and that I had not been in the dormitory since an alcohol-related dispute in- the night before. volving a knife. one in stable condition at the ing Residential Life Staff, finally cuss the funding inadequacies in the English The parked police car once again in sight, Maryland Shock Trauma Center, and the come to realize that it was inappro­ department at UMBC. These are just some I stopped myself mid-sentence. "What hap­ other being treated for minor injuries at St. priate to have students witnessing the ideas we put forth to get the wheels turning. pened?" Refusing to address my question di­ Agnes Hospital. evidence scattered about? If you have any questions about what your rectly, he shook his head and responded, "You I do not feel unsafe living on campus nor Even though the circumstances of organization should write, how to tum in an will sec for yourself." I was completely un­ do I blame UMBC officials for the incident this incident were extremely unusual, article. the format or anything else, please call prepared for what I was about to see. that occurred; however. ram disturbed by the the Residential Life staff should have The Retriever Weekly office during normal I took no more than a few short steps into way in which the situation was handled. Resi­ been better prepared to handle the business hours at (410) 455-1260. Emily the building before I noticed that the lobby, dents of Chesapeake HaJJ had no choice but situation. It was inconsiderate to resi­ Bernstein. the opinion editor, or Jessica normally void of people and sounds during to walk through the lobby every time they dents and police officers alike to keep Rothfus, the assistant opinion editor. will be the early hours on a Sunday afternoon. entered and exited the building until the lobby the lobby open until the late after­ able to answer any questions you may have. seemed unusually busy. The front desk was was finally closed off, nine or 10 hours after noon. By the time the emergency Also, please feel free to stop by the office in unoccupied, the carpet behind it tom, the the stabbing occurred. Instead of using the exits were used in place of the lobby UC 214 to pick up a copy of the Opinion glass window shattered, yellow police tape main entrance, emergency exits were opened entrance, most of the lobby had been Guidelines or to speak to one of the editors hanging loosely in its place. The front desk and desk staff stationed to prevent students cleaned up, and most of the investi­ directly. had relocated to the immediate entrance of from entering the lobby. Furthermore, no gating was finished. While this sort Again, we encourage members of all stu­ the building. I flashed my yellow identifica­ guests were admitted into the building until of incident is not common at UMBC, dent organi7..ations to submit to get the word tion card and took note of the surrounding the following day. ORL must now realize that it has to out about your club and your issues. Have a chaos. Officers spoke to one another, their I question the motive behind this. Was this be prepared for anything. great semester, and be sure to look for SOS in voices low. stem faces scanning the room, done simply to keep residents out of the way future editions of The Retriever Weekly. while a few teary-eyed residents could be of the police or did UMBC officials, includ- Robin Elgamil is a freshman. Online Journals- Connecting in an Unconnected World

tween more stressful job situations. obses­ the late 1990s from a variety of perspectives. do they provide benefits to writers. but read­ Jessica Rothfus sions with material consumption and the gen­ Thts outlet also provides adolescents the ers also gain knowledge a'ld insight. These erally mind-numbing eltet'l!-. of such stifling perfect forum for ranting about issues that journals. which can be searched by sex, age, Over the past 50 years. communities and entertainment a!> tcle\ isi '"and' ideo games. specifically affect them. Locked in the geographic locmion and titles on the "Dial) indi \ iduals in America have become im:reas­ Americans arc retreating further into shells struggle to find thcmsches, adolescents arc Registf) ·· ~ite, often deal with ... trugglcs of ingl) disconnected. In spite of increa!>ing of isolation and anonymity. usually able to act naturally and exprcs!'. them­ all SOrt!>. People ro~t journals that focus on transportation tcchnology. the potential truly The Internet as a Y.hole has increased the sehes in an Internet journal. The) arc also dealing with tenninal illnesses. diseases of to kno"" other individuals who live outside potential for people to create virtual commu given more freedom to assume various per­ all types. death and many other struggles. our diminishing spheres (workplace. school, nities, as well us get to know individuals from sonas without the fear of negative rcacuons Despite the ol'ten sad subject matter. the writ home. etc.) is limited. all over the world. More specifically. online from family members. ers (who generally update daily. or at least For the most part. neighborhoods of the journals have increased the ease of getting to There are. of course, negative aspects to weekly) find hope in many events and inter· past were more tightly-knit. and people felt know others. creating an online joumaJ. Often if a person actions. These types of journals help those comfortable in pulling some amount of trust suffering with the same illnesses to feel less into others they had just met. However. indi­ "The online journalprovides writers with an opportunity to reach alone and can even provide ideas for treat­ viduals today possess more of a fear response ment options. to other people. The use of various modem beyond their own worlds and into the lives of others. In many Journals also focus on other topics. includ­ technologies reflects this lack of trust in hu­ journals, names ofthe writer and the people he or she mentions ing travel. workplace experiences. pets. col­ mankind as a whole. For example. the cellu­ lege and sex. They arc both entertaining and lar phone ensures that stranded motorists can are changed, but the words still speak volumes about life in the enlightening. and readers have a diverse se­ call for assistance. In the past. however, late 1990s from a variety ofperspectives." lection to choose from. people could feel more comforatble in seek­ Certainly. readmg online journals cannot ing help from other drivers. The prolifera Most online journals arc written by women. uses his or her real name. discovery by fam­ compete with actually meeting neY. and dif­ tion of crime and violence has slowed hu­ mainly adolescents and college students. but ily or friends may somettmes occur. In this ferent kinds of people throughout one's life­ man interaction. men do create journals. Usually. male jour­ cuse. people usually move their journals. Of­ time. HO\vever. in a \\oOrld "'hich continue~ Typically. in order to maintain a reason­ nals arc less detailed, and less artisueally de­ ten journals arc written with a disclaimer to expand ;.~nd gro"' more fast-paced "'ith able ... wndard of li' ing. a household requ•rcs veloped. The onlme JOUrnal prO\ ides \\ ntcrs Y.hich urges those Y.ho think they know the each day, thc~t: joumal:. sene to increase .t t\\0 salaries \Vhen t\\o adults .1rcn't ,1\ail­ \\ ith an opportunit)' to reach beyond thear person to discontinue rcadmg Alter d1sco'­ feeling of connct.:llVll) \\ ithm the world com .tblc for employment. a 'itll• lc parcnt must 0\Hl world and mto the hves of other.;. In cry by acquaintances, .m onhnc JOUm.tl w1ll munity. \\>Oik C\en longer hours 111 orde1 to cn.:;~te a many JOUrn.tls. IHilllC'> of tht: wntcr and th lose us •cnume feel eomfort.tblc em ironment. It m.•y seem th.u people he 01 she mcntwns arc C'hanoed. but Dcspuc these polcntt.•l pll .111 th ·tc 1s Je~,ira Rotlaflo 11 the 1111~tm1 rm r 11 cell Amcncans ha\1.: more le1surt· tun... · but be the

Basem Awad, 19 Philosophy and English "I'm working for the computer science department."

Reiko Matsuo, 20 Michael Wright, 20 VPA Social Work "Feeding the birds." "Trying to find a way back to my apartment."

Chris Schab, 2 1 Melinda ClaveiL 33 Political Science and Economics Ancient Studies "Gettil '::~ ready for the rowing season." "I'm buying books." -PAGElO January 26, 1999 Join the Web page craze for free: Learn three nutrition myths andJ8 n John C. Roemer shows you how get ~en Foot Pole's Insider sco~p Contemplate the soul of casserole D1scover DreamWorks' dynam1c20 12 and meet the "Subway General" FE~TURES team and walk that Thin Red Line [insert name here]

appy Semester, and welcome to [insert name here]. For those among you who are new to the contest. here's a brief run-down: Each week, I present you, the campus community. with an original contest (or what passes for originality, anyway). Upon reading the contest, you take it upon yourself to enter. and 1 choose the winner from a throng of entrants, each having submitted a witty and thought-provoking en­ try to the contest. Once a winner is chosen, the winning entry is printed in the following issue, and the next comest is proposed. The winner and runners-up receive prizes of dubious cleanliness and questionable legal origin. Note that these pri7..es are valued for their kitsch, and any attempt to extract meaning or actual value from these prizes\\ ill be met with derisive laughter, an incredulous look and a stem "You knew what you were gelling into read the fine print." Contest One is actually somewhat original-ish. 1 must give credit to my best friend from 7~~> grade. and to Mike the Intern. Janice, my Prince of Egypt: Dream Works Pictures I Katzenberg: courtesy Prem1crc best friend from 71h grade, once despaired that people often begin Two Princes: Moses commands attention in a scene from the animated Biblical epic The Prince of maxims and leave them hanging, unfinished. l believe her example Egypt, produced by Jeffrey Katzenberg (inset) and the team from DreamWorks SKG. was "A bird in the hand .. .''which led to "I hate when they don't finish it! A bird in the hand WHAT?" Now, older and wiser, we know that a bird in the hand is just plain unsanitary. MIRACLE WORKERS I must also thank Mike the Intern for assisting in dragging this to the forefront of my mind. While both of us were falling asleep at An In-Depth Interview With Jeffrey Katzenberg and our computers one day, we overheard someone say, "Well, idle hands... " and leave it hanging. This caused Mike the Intern to query, the Team Behind the Biblical Epic The Prince of Egypt "Idle hands what?" To which I replied something brilliant, like "Idle hands are bad" or something. Well, in our sleep-deprived states, VICTORY MARASIGAN thus began a round of endings for the unftnished adage. The only Retriever Weekly Staff 'Writer Editor's noti~ J$~'8~e.was published in incomplete two I can remember are ''Empty minds are the devil's dollhouse" fonn in IIH!FDIII liibllr.':B: 1998 issue of The Retriever and "Idle hands are the devil's Playstation." After removing our­ ress junkets are a necessary Weekly. selves from the floor and composing ourselves (as this was the fun­ evil in the film industry. niest thing we'd ever heard -and it sometimes still is), we had PSince publicity tours are usu­ market an animated movie that fea­ concoctions, Dream Works SKG co­ some coffee to wake up. ally run by the marketing depart­ tures death, slavery and more death? founder (and Prince of Egypt pro­ So this week's contest is for you to ftnish those maxims. You ments of the movie studios them­ As I entered the Sequoia Restaurant ducer) Jeffrey Katzenberg made his may use these, or you may come up with others. Here arc some to selves, the press who are invited for in Georgetown to meet with the entrance. He wasn ·t hard to spot. lin ish: interviews with the filmmakers are filmmakers, I got the sense that this Dressed all in black, with wire­ really just free messengers meant to was a question they still weren't rimmed glasses and thinning black D Haste makes ... spread "the good word." sure how to answer. hair, the diminutive bigwig practi­ 0 Nice guys always ... In the case of DreamWorks This leg of The Prince ofEgypt's cally had a sign on him that said 0 The grass is always greener ... SKG's tour for the animated film wqrldwide PR tour began, in true "I'm one of the most important 0 Waste not. .. The Prince of Egypt, there was a industry fashion, with a quick but people in Hollywood." (That, by the 0 A penny saved ... definite sense of urgency in the pro­ tasty wine-and-dine. After the way, is the truth. Katzenberg has n Don't count your chickens ... ceedings. The film is, after all, a $70 guests had taken in a generous meal 0 A watched pot. .. million dollar gan1ble. How do you of chicken, roast beef and potato see EGYPT. page 19 rJ Don't put all your eggs ... n A teaspoon of sugar ... r'J Curiosity killed ... Ultimate Cerebral Fitness Test These arc jumping off points for you. but feel free to think of from CHESS. page 1 your O\\'n maxims as well. You rna} submit as many as you like. but each maxim \\ill be treated as a separate entry. Beale. the team·, vice president, The \\inner of this contest \\ill receive a polka album (that"s describes the trophy as one that ALBUM. as in '"not-so-compact disc'"). entitled'"Stan Wolo\\tC and \\asn't created to go home on a the Pollm Chips" and supplied b} The Great Sabato. \\hO has the plane. "At about five feet tall. it luck or stumbling over these things from time to time. The runners \\Ouldn't fit in one of the overhead up 'A-ill, uh. rccctve bags of buttered microwave popcorn. (Yeah. bins on the plane ba(;k. We tried to that's tl. Then they'll come a-runnin'.) hu) it a scat on the plane .. :· \ et the team's goals stretch be­ Entric~ must be received by next Friday at 10 a.m. in The Retriet·u Wt•ekl,\ yond the destrc to bnng home tO\\­ office, UC 214. or via e-mail at jsicill @gl.umbc.edu. Please include your cring trophies. Many of the top real name, and your phone number or your e-mail address, and $100 for players at:e very serious about mak­ me. because T'm broke. Oh, all right. T"tl waive the $100. But that's only ing cbcss their career. In addition, because it's the first contest. In case you're not familiar with the fine print. thc team hopes one day to have an this is where I rant. and only a select group of people actually read it, on-campus office, and a place to lx:causc they expect to find legal jargon. I don't do legal jargon. because it's prohibited in Nevada Funhennore. children under the age of 10 arc store their cquipmcnt. 1 not permitted. No livestock allowed. and you must be this tall to enter the With an incr':'~ ;'-1c amount of contest. 'Jiw Rl'tril'l'l'f l\h... kfy b not responsible for any injuries sustained support f1 he admit.istrat

JOHN C. ROEMER Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff

College kids seem to have quite an inter­ est in building Lheir own web pages. It's a way to reach out to the millions of people surfing lhe internet on any given night. These five sites provide ways to build your own free Web page. But first, a quick translation guide: 0 URL: the address of a site on the Inter­ net. 0 HTML: Hypertext Markup Language, the common programming language for websites. 0 Spam: unsolicited e-mail. 0 Megabyte: a measurement of storage space for information. 0 Java: a popular programming language. 0 Warez: downloadable programs. usually pirated programs. www.angelfire.com Angel fire claims to alJow a user to make a page more quickly by eliminating all of the blather. Angelfire also claims to offer easy­ to-remember URLs, the fastest creation tool and the fastest Web server technology. Al­ though these claims are made for obvious marketing reasons. they don't hold true. The service isn't particularly fast or special. Photo Courtesy of the UMBC Chess Team Angelfire employs Lycos for power and Check Mates: The 1998 champs proudly pose with their teammates and trophies after taking the title. promises unparalleled Web page design fea­ tures in the near future. One of the best things Angelfire offers is its quick registration. Creme de Ia Creme of the Chess World Again Angelfire is apparently interested in getting as many people through the door as possible. from CHESS. page 11 gram,' very similar to one already operational The Retriever Weekly for the detailed They even challenge users to find a better in Philadelphia. that would serve to assist in­ story of the team's journey to the 1998 site. love of chess, as well as the game's ben­ ner-city youth in fully developing their creati v­ Pan-Am victory, the chan1pions' stats and The host only allows for a mere five mega­ efits, by reaching out to communities. As ity in the realms of mathematics. critical think­ strategies. and the scoop on their com­ bytes of drive space The catch is that if a Derrick Longo. chess team president. states. ing. and complex value-weighted judgments." petitors. If you're looking for a way to user sticks to images from Angelftre's library, "Above all else, we view [our win] as an Many of the team's top players are cur­ have fun and show the team some well­ the images don't count against the five mega­ opportunity to further our other endeavors. rently involved in tournaments out of state deserved support, attend the victory party bytes allocated. such as a 'Baltimore Chess In Schools Pro- or overseas. Check out next week's issue of on Feb. 5th in the ECS atrium. A downside of the Angel fire offer is the all too common pop-up box that appears when entering the index of a site. The pop-up boxes is its URL names. Geocities divides their host most other free sites'. There are 26 themed districts, ranging in topic are separate windows that usually advertise site into various famous landmarks around from music to movies to spo11s to science fic­ something relating to the site. The pop-up America, like Broadway or The Strip. They www.tripod.com tion. boxes get really annoying when one reverses even have subsections of each landmark. Tripod's "Homepage Studio" is much like The Terms of Service are also protective one's surf and that same old box pops up all These subsections are dubbed as places you other free offers for web pages. There are of the easily offended and minority groups over again. would find in those areas, like a "booth" or common levels of difficulty as far as design in America. Fortune City strictly prohibits Angelftre is not a place for lhe perverse; an "alley." Geocities has created very realis­ experience goes. Right off the bat, Tripod "the use of bigotry, racism, hatred, or pro­ all sites containing nudity, sex. pornography, tic city street addresses in the end. offers design ideas and new features that in­ fanity." Of course, they also ban "pornogra­ foul language, hate propaganda, anything il­ There are some unattractive aspects of clude a Web pages console, smart ads and phy, tasteless images. foul language, hate pro­ legal, mail fraud or pyramid schemes are Geocities. When one logs into a Geocities private pods. The Web pages console allows paganda, anything illegal. illegal software. se­ banned. The rest of the rules serve as protec­ site. an entirely different window pops up designers to put a control panel on their page; rial numbers, mail fraud. pyramid schemes tion for the innocent from unsolicited e-mail. with an ad in it that not only takes up screen the private pods allow users to build their own or insults to another person(s) or Company." space. but also gets in the way of viewing communities online. The design of the page is very professional. www.geocities.com the page. AJso. Geocities employs a water­ Tripod also offers a huge section on de­ perhaps indicating that more advanced Geocities offers Web pages for all and is mark at the lower right hand corner of every signing Web pages. There are many tutorials HTML users would be interested in moving probably the most familiar site to most people screen, and that can get quite obnoxious. to answer all of your questions. They cover into Fortune City. because of its size. Geocities offers 11 free every aspect of design. from basic HTML to megabytes. If you need more. you have to www.xoom.com Java to Stylesheets that help beginners learn pay. There are three levels of pay member­ Xoom offers ll megabytes of free space to be experts. This may be the place to go ship: GeoPius (the only one really relevant to all those who wander in. Xoom claims to before building anywhere else: the educa­ lttp reeycllq workllg. to college students). which costs $4.95. of­ offer more space and features than any other tional section is very large and simple to use. fers 25 megabytes and additional tools and a site. and also offers different levels of design ! sv.r rtOJClt4. unique address. This program allows users directly correlating with HTML experience. www.fortunecity.com to become Web publishers. One may wonder why Xoom offers l1 Fonune City offers a whopping 20 mega­ I The free interface offers a few options for megabytes of space. To this, Xoom com­ bytes of free space. So much for Xoom's C.lttrt,t rl I"J'In 1Q design. Beginners without HTML knowledge ments, "We11. we heard that another site was claims. huh? Fortune City offers quite a spa­ talmmhfU~. have the option ofjumping right into design­ offering 10 and we wanted to let the Web cious area for those who like to incorporate a ing a page (GeoBuilder). The downside of world know that XOOM.com will always go lot of graphics into their pages as well as the ftt l '"' b'l!ii!l~c this is that the pages won't look as good as the extra megabyte to serve its members." extremely verbose, or just those who care to ~ the results an experienced HTMLer can These II megabytes are actually a fairly com­ incorporate a lot of information into their achieve with a higher level of design. Basi­ mon amount for a free provider to offer. pages. cally, people of all levels of experience are Xoom's Terms of Services are very simple: The start-up interface is much like that of welcome here. no porn, no warez and no Spam. The Terms Geocities: Tt assigns web surfers to a "'dis­ One of the things about Geocities that Tlike of Service are very similartoAngelfire's and trict" to move into, using an "estate agent." PAGE12------THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES January 26, 1999 Travels With Anna ... Medieval Cathedrals and Other Urban Oddities

ANNA KAPLAN would have been run over if we had not Relriever Weekly Staff Writer stopped her. Times like these almost make you wish None of us really need a reminder of you were a criminal, or, rather, make you how strange and bizarre people in this happy that you are not one. because the world can be, but if you want this. re­ woman was clearly on the verge of being minder. a trip to New York City should badly mugged. It's rather disconcerting provide it. One wonders, riding the sub­ to sec a native New Yorker, as she claimed way during msh hour, how some of those to be, display the type of behavior every people managed to escape the system and tourist is warned against. So here's a stay out of padded cells. I mean no of­ travel tip: Don't ever act like that woman, fense to any New Yorkers reading this; whether you are in New York or else­ the city has its share of perfectly sane where. I never deemed it necessary be­ people. 1 will not even start on the bums, fore to specifically advise people to keep bag people and other such characters bank account information confidential. roaming about, but focus on the people because I thought this was a given, but I who- at first glance- appear to be per­ guess not. fectly ordinary and productive members Now we go from the benevolently odd of society. and the dangerously odd to the simply One type you may encounter is the crazy. I had to go to Brooklyn to drop "subway general." One fine afternoon. an sometbing off at the apartment of some elderly man boarded a Manhattan train. friends of my family, but when my friend The car was only half-full, and he could and I arrived, they were not at home. The easily have taken a seat, but opted to stand doonnan of the apartment house was ha­ instead. Balancing on the ceiling hand­ rassing us, insisting that the apartment rails on either side of the car. he rocked was vacant, and we were saved by an old back and forth, humming, his head held woman who lived down the ball and as­ high and ills back straight: a military pos­ sured him that she knew the people who ture. As more people filed into the train lived there. She let us come into her apart­ at each stop. he directed them where to ment to use the phone, and promised to sit, pointing a decisive finger ftrst at a give her neighbors the package I had bewildered passenger, then at an empty brought. seat Evidently, he felt it was his personal As I was writing a note to leave on the duty to ensure that the seating arrange­ door, she questioned my friend, who has ment was correct. As doors closed, he around a dozen earrings in each of her surveyed the car with a look of approval ears, about her motivation for getting so and accomplishment on ills face. many piercings. "I've been reading this The subway general's behavior, al­ book about medieval cathedrals," said the though quite strange, was at least safe. woman, picking up a book from her din­ This was not the case with an old lady ing room table. "Medieval cathedrals my friend and I met at a Greenwich Vil­ have lots of bells. So in that way your lage Automated Teller Machine. This lady ears are like medieval cathedrals,'' she was having problems sliding her card concluded, and proceeded to tell us her through, and turned to us for help. life story. She went on and on about how When the card did not work, she pro­ she liked to feed stray cats. Her apartment ceeded to pull out three more cards, tell­ smelled like sour milk. She offered to ing us all the willie how much she dis­ feed us, but we declined for fear that she liked that particular bank because the one might give us cat food. that had been there before was better. Although all three of my examples of When we finally managed to pull up her strange people are perfectly harmless, one account information, she had no reserva­ should still remember the old advice tions about giving us her Personal Iden­ about not talking to strangers. Granted, tification Number, then telling her entire nottalking at all is a bit extreme, so please life story, complete with where she was just use caution and common sense. And born, what her father did for a 1i ving, and once again. keep ATM cards to yourself; what street she currently lived on. not everyone is as nice as I am. After the three of us left the bank, she Please share your travel stories! E-mail boldly began crossing the street, and them to [email protected]. Like to write? Get paid. Retriever Weekly writers get $10 per story a~d the satisfaction of knowing ·· the. news first ..

Call (410)455-1260 for information THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS January 26, 1999 PAGE 13 Focus on

Inte_.__

he Internet is perhaps one of :Building a Yourself a Tiny • the most powerful tools ofthe~Web Page at UMBC

decade. The capabilities that we: VERGIL BUSHNELL l.The title of a Web document is the • The Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff text that appears at the top of a Web-browser. now have to communicate and create are:------So make a title appropriate to your content. • • • : Here's a crash course for the ignorant with- 2. Meta tags are a new innovation for accom­ fathomleSS. The typical male can delight Ill the: out any distracting eulogizing or techno- modating Web based search engines. Al­ • • • • • babble. Follow these elementary steps to es- though they are invisible from the actual docu­ endleSS aSSOrtments of ... Witty pohtlcal Sabre. • tablish a monument in hypenext. Make a ment. meta tags allow for speedier and more . . : World-Wide Web directory from your UNIX accurate ''hits" to your site. Let's say your Women can shop to therr hearts content, especially. account. Type "cd pub'" then "mkdir www". pages include information about the Erasmus­ + h · + } th h · 'T' b : Key in ·'cd www·· to enter your newly cre­ Black family. UMBC, and your political role lOf S 0pp1ng 10f C 0 es-to S Op ffi. ~eeny Oppers • ated directory. Call your first page model Spiro Agnew. A Web user with related Can gaze at their favorite IDUSiC groups' homepages (if: "i~dex.html". It can be m~de th~ough a ~ext interests could easily link to your efforts. • editor such as emacs or ptco. Ptco reqmres 3. The ·'img src" tag is the fundamental for- only we as teenagers could have had a Loverboy: no skill. Simply enter "pico index.html"and homepage!)."There's a place for everyone on the net, but the dan-: set up your form like this: see WEB PAGE, pagel4 gers and restrictions are still unforged areas. It's a case of technoI-: ogy moving faster than the laws. This Focus section is dedicated to the excit- : ing realm of the Internet - to its endless possibilities and to the future it is : creating for us. • The ·'Focus on the Internet" section emphasizes student accessibilty. Because most stu- • dents have limited budgets, no "private," pay or password-required websites have been in- • eluded. Most software programs and utilities referenced are available in UMBC's computer : labs, or downloadable as shareware. A related Features article contained in this edition of • The Retriever Weekly highlights free web domains and home page authoring advice. Several : of the many Internet services named have proven to be psychologically addictive. These and • other habit-forming programs may distance a student from family, friends, and academic : career, potentially subtracting from a student's GPA. Addiction is not glamorous. Digital • addicts may degenerate into pitiful, pale creatures exhibiting poor posture and carpal tunnel : syndrome. You have been warned. • Certain illegal practices are mentioned il} this section. The Focus Editor would like to : remind readers that unethical practices, such as piracy and virus creation are punishable by • gulag incarceration and/or execution in some nations. : ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Web-related Resources for ~ SJ the Student Research Moont Search

VERGIL BUSHNELL clarity, and need not be viewed out of con­ Connections ,i. BlzJouroaf ~ SmartUpdat~ ~ Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff text, as separate files. Sound and video en­ hancements are also compatible. PDF files Adobe Acrobat Reader: This can be down­ can be transferred and linked from the Web, loaded free from Adobe' web site or sent via e-mail. Many federal sites, such www.adobe.com. Acrobat improves the ac­ as the FBI and the DoD, maintain archives cessibility of lengthy documents simulta­ of publicly-available material formatted .in neously saving trees. Rather than reams of PDF. Adobe claims over 250,000 other Web continuous text, digital Acrobat files (denoted pages employ their "de facto standard for Mail me at~ [email protected]# by the ".pdf' suffix, for portable document electronic distribution of documents." format) are neatly paginated. One useful fea­ ture of Acrobat is a columnar listing of"snap­ Alexa: Alexa is a Web-based utility for dig­ shots·• representing each page. The researcher ging up the details while you're surfing. It's can click on a pictorial representation to jump distributed for nothing at www.alexa.com and to any page. Furthermore, a PDF document will pay for itself in no time. If your web tra­ can be enlarged or minimized to allow for vails are halted by an abmpt "404 not found," greater scmtiny or more rapid skimming. chances are Alexa has a copy of the desired Acrobat is hardly restricted to text. Em­ Here's The Result: Your tiny homepage, from pico to published! bedded imag~s are included in their original see WEB RESOURCES, page 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS January 26, 1999 Homepages a Small Slice of Heaven Helpful, from WEB PAGE, page 13

: indents a line of text program called Showcase. You can make simple 3-dimensional pictures on Showcase. mat for displaying images on line. Although Images: Go to room 005 on the ground floor Ten minutes of your busy day will be invest­ Harmless more elaborate options exist, this is the prin­ of the ECS building. If you have a UNIX ac­ ment enough for an attractive textual mast­ ciple method for displaying a picture of your count and remember your usemapte and pass­ head appearing to be wrought of marble, lean­ cohort, Agamemmnon Jackson-providing word, you can use an array of graphics pro­ ing forward in space, lit up and shaded. Nu­ Programs you have a picture titled "aj.gif' in your www grams available from these Silicon Graphics merous pre-set textures and materials rang­ directory. Inc. Irix workstations. These include Show­ ing from reflective glass to psychedelic swirls from WEB RESOURCES, page 13 4. A local link to your page about Mr. Jack­ case, Imageworks, and xv- not exactly avant can complement a lack of imagination. Un­ son is included. Follow the "a href' format to garde imaging, but sufficient for entry level fortunately, Showcase files tend to be a trifle page. The Federation of American Sci­ make any sort of hypertext jump from your Web work. Of course, SGI machines are run large. entists, a group of over 50 Nobel Prize page to an other. For external pages, simply on the UNIX operating system. Screen Captures: Anything and everything winners, successfully used Alexa to ac­ fill in the URL or address of the linked docu­ sitting on your monitor, or deskspace, can cess web pages rescinded by the intelli­ ment. Transparency and simple conversions: The become a picture file thanks to a nifty tool gence community. In addition to archi­ 5. A special sort of "a href' link allows the Imageworks program Jets you define one named Snapshot. Stretch the rectangular val services, Alexa reveals a site's rat­ user to drop an e mail into your inbox. Re­ color of a picture as transparent, i.e. avoiding "rubberband" frame around your quarry, and ings, registered owner (may differ from move James Erasmus-Black's login and fill blocky outlines by letting the home page's save with a single click. The result will be its declared owner, like many "front" in your own. background shows through. Save as a ".gif' called "snap.rgb" by default. pages), and relevant usage statistics. Ref­ To save your document, type Control "o"; file and lmageworks guides you the rest of erence materials - online dictionaries and to save and exit pico, type Control "x". the way. Of course, more comprehensive pro­ CONNECTING TO THE OUTSIDE encyclopedias - are just a mouse click You can access and change the "index.htrnl" grams like Corel's Photopaint and Adobe's WORLD: away. Alexa manifests itself as a floating file anytime after exiting by keying in "pico PhotoShop will tum this trick and many more Webcounters: A Webcounter keeps a numeric button-bar that accompanies your Web index.html". (like animated gifs). tally of all visits to your site. Several years browser, and, if you use a PC, a diminu­ Slightly more advanced homepage tips Imageworks is a fairly useful image conver­ ago, UMBC alumnus Paul Danckaert stayed tive "a" icon in the corner of your desk­ sion tool. Let's say you have a .jpeg (Joint up late and coded a bare bones Webcounter top. Text Tags: : makes a word or words Photographic Experts Group, a standard for­ for use with UMBC accounts. View the source Its' only drawbacks are the blinking blink. A page of randomly spaced, flickering mat enabling image compression, unlike a code at www.research.umbc.edu for the de­ ads. text tends to befuddle, so use sparingly. .gif) picture grabbed off a friend's home page. tails.

: a useful formatting tool which Load it up in lmageworks and save as a .gif; Sponsorships: Many Web pages are embla­ Lexis-Nexis Academic Universe: Most indents and sets apart a chunk of text. the program handles the conversion process zoned with bold advertisements. They are ei­ people shell out big bucks for the privi­

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divides your page with a professional with minimum input. ther a tradeoff for "free" services, such as a lege of using Lexis-Nexis' massive data­ looking horizontal line. 3-D Images: Each Irix machine carries a little Webcounters or contractual arrangements base. You don't have to. The Albin 0 . between companies seeking publicity and the Kuhn Library page site's maintainer. I'm not advising you to rent ( www.research.umbc.edu/aok/main) will out a box to offshore casinos. But I can'tbelp route you to it. Indispensable to the stu­ but recall the kindly credit card hawkers dent researcher, Academic Universe is crowding the UC plaza, the tens of thousands free and anonymous - no password is certain officials may earn from sitting on cor­ required. Lexis-Nexis' breadth is truly as­ porate board of directors, the degeneracy of tonishing. The aptly-named Universe university festivities (like Fall Frenzy) into a sifts through hundreds of current journals, corporate meat-market, and the campus Coke research publications and government monopoly. TfUMBC is a commodity, the stu­ studies from sources local to global. This dent is the bargaining chip. Surely a Web­ includes corporate annual reports, and savvy undergraduate could stand to make a documents filed with the Securities and modest return off his own tuition .... Exchange Commission (such as the ex­ Webrings: Your Web page doesn't have to haustive SEC-lOK form). An Academic stand alone. The Web is a dynamic forum Universe query will deliver entire articles connecting international users. Increase your from otherwise inaccessible or expensive hits and align with like-minded individuals periodicals. For example, articles run by by joining Webrings- clusters of loosely af­ The Baltimore Sun two weeks old or older filiated pages devoted to similar content. The will be provided through The Sun~ online easiest way of tacking your Internet publica­ SunSpot service. Of course, Sunspot tions to a collective is by locating a topically states "you must register and choose a relevant page via search engine. Chances are, payment option." Lexis-Nexis will in­ one of your fellow connoisseurs will have a stantly display the entire text of any Sun Webring form posted. article on your monitor free of charge. Disturbing, Distracting or Just IDegal Internet Applications

These May Seem Fun, nal site. Commercial sites in particular claim ben-· But May Destroy Your efit from the data brought in by their cook­ Academic Career ies. Theoretically, a dynamic Web site can tailor itself to a user's preferences. If a VERGIL BUSHNELL cookie informs a site that a particular user Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff frequents, let's say, automobile pages, the Web site can automatically launch an appro­ COOKIES: So-called "Magic" or persis­ priate menu of car-related products. tent cookies are exalted as the savior of mar­ A bug report released on Dec. 14, 1998 keting, while simultaneously scorned as in­ by www.cookiecentral.com indicates a se­ vasions of privacy. Innocuous nicknames curity loophole in cookie design. "The bug aside, a cookie is a package of data a Web allows cookies to override the current do­ site sends through and stores on your main restrictions enforced on the sharing of browser. cookies," meaning information gathered by Persistent cookie are lodged in your one site's cookie can be transmitted to an computer's memory; digital markers which other site. can later be "harvested" by the posting Web Netscape's "Network Preference" menu site. The cookie may transmit listings of a can be set to announce and give the user the user's Web travels including information the _user typed into Web forms back to the origi- see ILLEGAL INTERNET, page 15 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS January 26, 1999 PAGElS On-line Services of Questionable Worth and Lesser Utility from IUEGALINTERNET, page 14 online. Since the format is not beholden to whose wife actually bid on the "antique map" Now, I realize that the eBay system will any commercial entity, evolutions in program print sofa. And God forbid if the women get never resemble the mumbling auctioneer and option of refusing incoming cookies. Al­ design occur almost daily. into it. the drunken farmers of real auctions. You are though this precaution nominally turns them Players: Other than a computer and speak­ These are the people that purchase I 00 tracked by your code name and password and away, a Web site may launch successive ers, no hardware is necessary to enjoy MP3's. count boxes of ice cube trays from auctions. the sales go on for several days. When you cookie attempts for each one denied. This Winamp from Nullsoft is a decent shareware Auctions are never limited to large or valu­ bid, you enter the highest amount you are has the nasty effect of clogging monitors player, hence costs nothing. Winamp in­ able objects. Sometimes, they sell off crate willing to pay. That is compared to all of the with a barrage of tiny windows. cludes a spiffy graphic equalizer, an adjust­ after crate of crap. And whenever there is a other bids and someone is declared the win­ able pre-amp toggle for extra volume, sev­ box of junk that no one wants to buy, auc­ ner at the end of the auction. There is no sat­ eral colorful analyzer displays, and one tioneers tack another box of junk onto the isfying smack of a gavel to signal that the sample3-second MP3 promotion about kick­ take. If there something interesting in the auction is over, only an eerie "you've got Would You Like Fries ing a "llama's ass." bottom of one box, you may have to take mail" when informed by email of the results. With That? Rippers: A ripper yanks the tracks from home several cases of soap or assorted used No fights, no beer, only auctioning. But your CD and stores them as WAV files. The nylon stockings to go with it. Sometimes a it's a start. eBay, more than being just a great AOL Instant Messenger Fulfills faster the CD-ROM, the quicker the conver­ beautiful thing can be found among the pot­ place to see on the Internet, is the herald of a the Necessities of Fast-Food sion process. The WAV format takes up a lot pourri of entrails, but usually they are de­ new era. The Internet is reaching such a criti­ Living of memory, often dozens of megabytes per posited in the dumpster behind the auction cal mass of users that it's going to begin song. Each me must be set to 44khz stereo house. forming real neighborhoods. But they won't JOHN C. ROEMER for optimal sound. My other encounter with auctions was with be the neighborhoods of the past that were Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Encoders: Once a WAV file is ripped, it the tele-auctions of the late 1980s. In the pre­ based on race or ethnicity. Social division can be digitally converted to MP3 format. dawn hours before cartoons on Saturday will be based on desired preferences as op­ Many of you should now be aware ofAOL An encoder compresses the WAV, resulting morning, and in much the same manner as posed to color or creed. I don't need to know Instant Messenger (AIM). It is a free and in a faithful but smaller translation to MP3. the infomercials that were to come, a sales­ what god you worship in order to discuss Star comprehensible way to keep in touch with The MP3 flle can be encoded at 192 kilo­ men would step on stage and begin the regu­ Wars. And you need not know my color when your family and friends. Many of my friends bytes per second for a better recording. lar rat-a-tat auctioning of various useless you purchase a "Shelly" the turtle Beanie live in Bowie, Maryland so AIM saves me The Recording Industry Association of items to people in the studio audience. But Baby from my online auction. Welcome to lots of much-needed cash on long distance America (RIAA) has a hipped-out position instead of increasing, the auctioneer would the next millennium. bills. In the case that I ever move out of my paper treatise against MP3's which resides decrease the price of the item. When most Oh, and what was my other purchase, you house, I can keep in touch with Mom and at www.soundbyting.com. It comes as no people were happy with this amount, the auc­ ask? A foot tall Battlestar Galactica figure, Dad (as attractive as that is!). surprised that this industry group is con­ tioneer would rule the auction closed and with a loose knee joint and a lightning laser. AIM comes in a package with Netscape cerned with the proliferation of free music. begin selling the product over the phones. If I hadn't bid, the seller was going to throw Navigator but also is available free to all on Whether netizens consider their rhetoric is But these people were not the slick sales­ in a case of seven foot phone cords and un­ the UMBC site. Obviously, one could also an other matter. men like Ron Poppeil or that British guy in matched men's socks. find the download on theAOLsite. The fea­ the bow tie. Like the live auctions, these folks MUDs and MVSHs: A Mush is a multi­ tures of the program are very limited indeed. were also on the trashier side of whiteness. user shared hallucination. Mud stands for All that AIM offers is a chance to change The main auctioneer bad a mustache curled multi-user dimension (or dungeon)- as in the sounds when your "buddies" enter and Going Once, Going up at the ends and wore a yellow T-shirt with Dungeons & Dragons, spears and spells. At leave. Though the pre-programmed sound is Twice ... suspenders. His gut hung over his substan­ the expense of your undergraduate career, that of a door opening and closing, very cute. tial beltbuckle. I vaguely remember the back­ friends, and family (hardcore mudders refer some will find it obnoxious. The downside RAYMOND DUBICKI ground as being an auto junkyard. to these peripherals as "rl" or "real life") you of AIM that I find is that you can set up a Retreiever Weekly Staff Writer So, based on these experiences with auc­ can create a fantasy character. Exotic races Buddy Chat with other AIM users but not tions, I entered the eBay Website with the (most mud mutations sport special advan­ with AOL users. This causes some conflict, Two months ago, William Gibson, author expectation, nay, the hope, that this would tages like wings or flaming halos) and pro­ as most of my friends are AOLjunkies. of Neuromancer, coiner of the phrase be the trailer park side of the Internet. And, fessions (stalker, vampire, alchemist ... ) One of the more amusing features of AIM "cyberspace," and generally froody guy, told although it is sterile white with crisp images abound-a human warrior would be frowned is that it indicates exactly how long another Wired magazine that he had an unholy fixa­ and no liquor, the Website still gives a little upon as woefully banal. Muds are intricate user has been signed on. I've seen up to seven tion with eBay. For those who don't know, of the feeling of being in one of the smoky designs are only limited by the talent of the hours. This has enabled all of us to make eBay is the Internet's largest auction house. enclaves of redneck recycling. game's implementers, or immortals. Food, some good jokes on other's behalves. All in Located at www.ebay.com, the site boasts Many of the sales on eBay seem to be go­ drink (some simulating intoxication), death good humor, kids. thousands of articles for sale to the highest ing to either aging Baby-Boomers who are and politics are a few integral aspects of mud Not only is AIM a great idea, but it's a bidder. And after only two winning purchases now looking for knickknacks to furnish their life. Many muds require their players to de­ free service. College students quickly learn myself, I must agree with Mr. Gibson and nursing homes or collectors looking to fin­ clare a gender. Given the adolescent inclina­ that free stuff is the best stuff. This is among admit to a lust for the auction. ish their collections and can't find the piece tions of most mudders, it comes as no sur­ the cream of the crop as far as modem com­ Now, I'm not an auction virgin.! have had within their state of residence. prise that this results in fantastic couplings puter programs go. It is not only a tool but a several encounters with the auctioning This "Collectibles" section is the area rivaling those in Homer's Iliad. necessity for any computer. AIM is some­ lifestyle during my 22 years on this earth. where I found one of my purchases. From The Focus Editor had the fortune of inter­ thing that I'll take with me all my life, just While I was fairly young and very imprel>­ doing a keyword search on "Baltimore" and viewing a successful mud character. to keep in touch with all the kids that live so sionable, my parents frequented real auc­ after wading through all of the Ripken "Necropolis" is 49 mud years old. which far away yet are so dear to me. Convenience tions. For those who have visited my par­ autographed balls, bats, cards, Wheatics translates into over 500 hours player. He is and fast-food living is the trend nowadays ents' home, you now understand the source boxes, autobiographies and affiliated stuff, r the self-professed leader of clan aPoKillypse. and AIM provides just that. of the pool cue holder shaped I ike Geronimo found someone selling a Civil War era map which derives its sanguine mythos from a Any comments or complaints? Simply, IM that stands in the basement. of Maryland. Twenty bucks seemed like the smattering of ancient Egyptian lore. "j2864r." Real auctions are quite unlike the right price, so I bought it. "Necropolis" etymologically translates into Sotheby's upper-class schtick. Real Auctions Two weeks and a money order sent to Ohio "city of the dead." Indeed, this sword-swing­ MP3s are inhabited by two types of people. First, later, my map arrived. Interestingly, it can ing gladiator has populated the underworld "MP3" is the most controversial acronym there are the baby-boomers that are looking be categorized as a "find." The map is actu­ with scores of shades. He has only been de­ on the Web today. It stands for Moving Pic­ for the "incredible find" with which to fur­ ally a page from a 1862 edition of Harpers' feated twice, and boasts 225 confirmed ture Experts Group Layer 3, an audio com­ nish their house and impress their friends. Magazine. On the reverse side of the map is "pkills", or player kills. Necropolis was re­ pression format that reduces the size of sound They remain somewhat quiet during the pro­ quite an interesting print from that era. On cently wedded to Raynne, incarnation of an files by a factor of 10 (or more) while pre­ ceedings and stay towards the back. My par­ the whole, I feel that I made a good purchase. immortal. He defines his accomplishments serving CD quality. A single minute CD of ents fell into this category. This is the reason But after the antiques and collectibles and thusly: music at a san1ple rate of 44100 hertz can that they did not see the humor of me using other Boomer-friendly crap, there is the other "I am the emperor of clan aPoKillypse, my hog 5 megabytes. The identical track in MP3 their auction card (that little thing with the stuff that eBay sells. One hocker had a "bag word is law, my might unmatched, fear me format would take up less than 500 kilobytes. number on it) to purchase a toaster oven. of a pound of wheat pennies'' for sale. An­ little one. J alone can guarantee your exist­ The convenience of compression has won Such a purchase would not furnish much, other was offering "50 Mousepads, $5.00 ence. My collection of skulls comes from numerous devotees. Sprung up like mush­ was not a "find," and honestly didn't work. each." those who defied me. Together with my clan rooms after a rainstorm, Web-based MP3 It disappeared in much the same way as my This is the stuff that proves the Internet members, field marshal: Exodus; generals: clearinghouses offer entire downloadable al­ rabbit, Binky. One day they were there, the has a redneck/white trash side. Although in Poondar, Proscriptor; and shock troops: Loki, bums. An audiophile can transfer music di­ next day they were gone. its infancy, this underbelly of the Informa­ Gokou, Ashen, Azheri, Destroyah, and Jubei; rectly to his hardrive. Better yet, songs from The other types of people are, to be kind, tion Superhighway offers hope that person­ we collect the souls of those in this realm different albums may be re-arranged with­ rednecks. Now don't get me wrong, I love alities are beginning to emerge from sections for sacrifice to the Chaos god. out switching CD's. these folks. These people are the reason to of the Internet besides the geek/crypto/pale­ We do not hide our evil, we flaunt it. Ar- The software utilities necessary for play­ go to auctions. The drunken guys in flannel white-mouthbreather image that most of the ing and producing MP3's are also available • ~~ _ap~ $te~l-t~~ .bwt.s sWt, (igb~ pver Intem~t has. Viva La difference! see ILLEGAL INTERNET, page 16 PAGE 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS January 26, 1999

Mud Murder: Necropolis inflicts "UNSPEAKABLE Muds and damage" upon a beggar, Warez: then sacrifices a corpse. Addictive Internet Application from ILLEGAL INTERNET. page 15

rogance we have earned. We have yet to come across a foe we cannot destroy. Three Clans have toppled to us. and the strongest amongst them we have assimilated into our

'We do not hide our evil, we flaunt it. ' a paper for a ranks. All power has its price. Ours is a con­ man or awoman stant struggle against the never-ending glut of new blood which flows into our lands. Therefore, we always greet them with loud proclamations and guarantee as much mis­ ery as possible. As they progress our mes­ sage still hangs in their mind, much like cir­ cus elephants are held at the mercy of one small piece of rope, for these are battles of will, not body, and this is a war of constant change which pits us against new foes."

WAREZ Enter the neologism "warez'' into Metacrawler's extensive search engine and count the hits - testament to their bw·geon­ ing popularity. New warez sites are spawned Design Your faster than corporations can slap "cease and desist'' orders. Warez is a hacker vulgariza­ the C·areer original logo tion of wares. or software (the same people refer to files as philez. games as gamez. and telecomm raiders as p~reakz). Any software Development must package you can conceive of is offered free, albeit illegally, for download. Programs and use UMBC worth hundreds, such as PhotoShop 5, to 3- D rendering utilities which retail for tens of thousands of dollars, are pimped out by en­ Placement colors terprising young teenagers across the globe. Need a serial number to execute your ripped­ Center's (Maximum off version of Tomb Raider? The correct dig its, along with thousands of other serial num­ bers, can transverse your modem in minutes logo! two-color as a single convenient flle. Better yet, hold out for a few minutes and grab some add­ design) ons and plug-ins. Hackers specializing in warez typically as­ sume fanciful pseudonyms like AWARD: "Skeletonmaster," "Bizzarnage" or "Crazzzy Boyz." Their ftp and Web sites are protected by superficial consent forms, resembling the $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE TO agreement clauses accompanying legitimate software. Some technological pirates employ BARNES & NOBLE BOOKSTORE semantics which would bring a ruddy blush to the Commander-in-Chief's face. To access these sites, one must agree to "use the soft­ ware for backup purposes only" or "delete Contest Open to All UMBC Students after 24 hours." One such poorly worded confirmation banner declares: "I do not ad­ Submit a hard copy to MP 204 (preferably vertise the use of pirated software ... I can­ • not be help liable for things you might find accompanied by the design on disk) on PUBLIC FrP sites ...Th e virii on this page is simply for RESEARCH, and is not in­ Call Ext. 2216 for more information tended for miss-use! Information is not a • crime, using it the wrong way is!!" Although grammatically awkward, this disclaimer is, quite ironically, the same justification given by universities conducting defense research. There is a downside to warez, despite their Dead I i ne: March 1, 1 999 convenience. Many of the same hacker kids, as evidenced by the above statement, display a remarkable proficiency for isolating and cataloging virus strains. Cracked software bas been known to contain surreptitious ·•trap doors" enabling the timed release of virii. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES January 26, 1999 PAGE17

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hope everyone had a productive hydrates. Bear in mind that you should never - especially proteins than you have be­ stated earlier. I recommend you trim your and enjoyable vacation. Before cut carbohydrates or even reduce them sig­ fore (create a means tor weight gain). and carbohydrate intake Jown a bit first. If the break, I spoke to you about nificantly. as they arc a good source of en­ you must sleep (create a time for weight gain). this doesn't work or produce an) suffi­ diet and the set-point. I will con­ ergy and arc required for all activities. ~otice that you do have to increase your ca­ cient losse:-.. then you need to start doing tinue to discuss diet thiS week. r II Next. I am sure some of you \\ant to bulk loric intake by a significant amount. Try to aerobic activity (jogging. biking. swim­ Ishare some nutrition myths '"ith you and up. You \\ant to put on some muscle. It\ not spread your meals out evenly during the day ming. etc.). tell you ho'" to gain or lose weight. an easy process. but it is not extremely com­ so that your body is anabolic most of the time, Basically, it comes down to this: If you First, several myths: plex either. It comes down to this: You must and make sure to rest and nap sufficiently. expend more energy than you eat during I. Fats are had for you. This is mostly work harder than you have before (create a The process of toning or trimming down the day, then you will lose weight. That's untrue. If you arc trying to lose weight. stimulus for weight gain), you must eat more is not so easy. either. but it is simple. As I all. folks. Until next week. stay healthy. you should still be consuming fat'>. In fact, you want to make sure to gel all of your Ef-. walnuts. and oth­ ers. The ones you v. ant to stay away from are saturated fats; these arc mostly harm­ ful. Remember that all of your hormones are synthesized in fat, so make sure you never, ever cut fat from your diet com­ pletely. 2. E1'eryone require.~ the same amoulll of protein. This is another myth that is propagated b) a lot of people. including some members of the medical commu­ nity. In fact. it has been proven that ath­ letes and non-!>edcntary individuals re­ quire more protein. both to build muscle and to maintain it. So if you exercise regu­ larly (especially if you weight-lift). make sure to consume plent) of protein to re­ pair your damaged muscles. 3. Carbohydrates are not fattening. If you are trying to lose fat. the first thing I would recommend reducing in your diet would be carbohydrates. An) excess car­ bohydrates (i.e. carbs that are not used for anything) arc stored as fat. As Ameri­ cans. we tend to grossly over-eat carbo- Eh /.ukowsk• I Retriever Weekly Staff

Ten Foot Pole: Insider reviews knows that llove my oJd school punk Tamara, who is a punk rock girl through and is prelly pissed off at Joe Queer now. because I was surprised to only see 12 tracks on rock and hate little pop-punks like Home through. She, of course, doesn't dig him like Queer not only name-checks Tim. but de­ the new Ten Foot Pole record from Epitaph Grown and Blink 182. Maybe Insider is just he digs her and Joe Queer loses out because clares him a trend. East coast/ West coast ri­ records. As I scanned the enclosed lyrics to as catchy and whiney as those bands, but at he isn't "ptmk enough" for her. valry developing? Awesome. insider, I noticed familiar emo stylings. least Ten Foot Pole writes whole songs, as Queer then responds to his critics with Late in the album, we fmd three tracks, two Though a tum-off for many, I've rece.ntly opposed to Home Grown's five-line numbers. "Everything's OK." Lately, Joe's been tak­ written by Weasel and one co-written by gotten into this tear-jerking genre of music. It is an album worth purchasing, and in re­ ing a lot of crap from critics for not being Queer and Weasel. I recall Ben Weasel's ac­ The album is catchy throughout. Let's face turn you find a nice, casual listen. Kind of punk, or, as Joe so eloquently states, "I guess count of first meeting Joe Queer. Ben was it: Epitaph releases pop-punk. Granted. I am like Jamaican cigars: very good, but no Cu­ I'm not a punk 'cause 1 stopped getting drunk excited because he had finally found another used to the crusty street punk of bands like ban. - Jolm C. Roemer and puking all over my shoes." band that contained 34-year-old men bitching The Boils and Violent Society. but this Ten After a few more tracks of cool guitar riffs about mowing the lawn and doing homework. Foot Pole album actually didn't tum me off. The Queers: Punk Rock Confidential and sweet basslines fused with a typical punk The sweetest love song on Punk Rock Confi­ Any fool could relate to at least one of these The Queers have revamped their lineup beat. we find ''Mrs. Brown, You've Got An dential has to be the Banana Splits cover, "l songs - and that includes every social label once again, jumped from their longtime la­ Ugly Daughter," a blatant rip-off of a song Enjoy Being a Boy."' an out-and-out love out there. bel Lookout! Records to Hopeless Records you'd hear on WQSR. Queer's song is so song. It's not too strange to find a bubblegum Tracks like "Officer, I Swear She's 19'' are and tweaked their style. This time, vocalist/ much more fun, .though: He fakes a British pop cover on a Queers album; this is Punk undeniably funny. interesting and. frankly, guitarist Joe Queer wrote a collectiOn of love accent through the vocals, which concern Rock Con{idelllial's. self-explanatory. Emo titling. such as "Noth­ songs w1th a little help from Ben Weasel of breaking up wtth a girl \\ho "opened up and This album is worth it. I've been a fan of ing to Lose" an~ "Another Half .\polog},'' Screeching Weasel fame. then shut the door." Screeching Weasel and The Queers for some makes this album almost IO\ able. Ten Foot Punk Rock Confidemial begins \\ith The integrity of this rc\ iC\\ would be :.ac­ nme now: the tv.o bands arc virtual!) msepa­ Pole concerns itself'" ith subjects ranging "Tamara Is a Punli:.'. \\hich kind of puts the rificed \\ 1thout a fev. \\ ords concerning ''Ran­ mble. It's great pop-punk for those sunny from self-destructive psychological disorder:. album into pcr!>pectiv<.. :-.lev. Hampshire s Joe cid \:lotherfucker,'' the alhuw ·s sixth track. days. :vtaylx! th1s'll help \\arm you up in these to self-hatred to hedomsm to love troubles. Queer is no typical street punk: he isn't even It bas1cally denounces all those punk posers helo\\-freczing temperatures we seem to be Yeah. love troubles: the undeniable and ac­ recogni~:cd at shows, because he doesn't re­ out there who love Tim \rmstrong's post­ experiencing in Catons' i:1e. -JCR cessible subject maucr. Who can't relate? ally care to dress hke a punk or act hke a Operation Ivy band. the Oakland-based Everyone who regular!) 1-.:ads these httle punk. ln thi~ ~ong. he's 'rytng to tmprcss Rancid. I \\Ould think that Tim Armstrong THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES January 26, 1999 PAGE19 Movies Animated In Dreams, Prince a Squandered King-Sized Potential Gamble JAMIE PECK Retriever Weekly Staff Writer from EGYPT, page 10

In Dreams (*1h our of four) might keep been a perennial entry on Entertainment you awake at night, but not because of its Weekly's "10 l Most Powerful People in En­ creepy imagery, bizarre visual style or story tertainment" list since the magazine started about a clairvoyant madman who lures young ·keeping tabs. He currently ranks a respect­ girls to their untimely deaths. No. the source able 15.) of potential sleeplessness here lies within the Katzenberg proceeded to "work the room," movie's brutally squandered potential, the smiling and chatting away pleasantly at each least of which is an admittedly nifty premise table. The way everyone stood to shake his -even by tired serial killer genre standards. hand, you'd think he was running for office. The big letdown, however, comes upon the Just prior to Katzen berg's entrance, the room realization that this tOO -minute head­ was buzzing with stories of his much-publi­ scratcher was masterminded by Neil Jordan. cized departure from Disney, inc luding the man behind The Ct)•ing Game. He's no speculation that the big DreamWorks bitAntz stranger to cinematic weirdness, but this nutty may have been rushed into production - un­ nonsense really pushes the envelope. Dream Works Pictures der Katzenberg's insistence - to compete Things start out strongly enough, with cin­ Woman on the Verge: In Dreams' Annette Bening is plagued by nightmares. with Disney's A Bug 's Life. Even though ematographer Darius Khondji's stunning Katzenberg entered the room all smiles, one camera work guiding viewers into the bow­ nightmares involving kidnapped children. name is Vivian, he's clairvoyant and he's got could sense he was blocking out the vicious els of an underwater ghost town during a She thinks these visions are a warning knell some major issues with marna, a Ia Norman rumors floating about. creepy prologue that establishes a notably for horrible, soon-to-be-committed crimes, Bates. In Dreams reaches its absurdist zenith Accompanying Katzenberg were producer grim tone right off the bat. This eerie opu­ but neither her ho-hum husband (Aidan here, and the climax drags with mumbled Penney Finkelman-Cox; one of the film's lence remains a dazzling display of show­ Quinn) nor the ho-hummer police can mus­ revelations and laughable twists. three directors, Brenda Chapman; manship throughout the entire film- there's ter up the sense to take her seriously. This Some questions, then: What's with the gar­ DreamWorks Records' Lenny Waronker; and even something macabre about the way being a thriller, we know that she is, in fact, bage disposal retching applesauce? Are the art director Kathy Altieri. The bunch had been Khondji photographs a rustic, seemingly in­ on the money, and it's a credit to Bening's drawings on the wall blood or paint? Who through all this a few times before, so the nocent New England autumn - but if there acting that she delves equally into Claire's cranked up the Andrews Sisters on the CD D.C. tour was just another blip on the map. ever was a film that didn't deserve so good a madness and compassion. player and caused the swing to move on its Still, the group seemed very enthusiastic polish, it's this one. Don't knock the luscious But as soon as a body turns up and Claire own? What about the computer? Does Vivian about the hours of interviews awaiting them. look, but say what you will about the foolish has given the authorities reason enough to possess the gift of telekinesis in addition to After quick introductions, we scuttled off to plot, underdeveloped characters and flat dia­ believe her claims, In Dreams trades in its his other powers? Why would he continually the Four Seasons to speak with the fllmmak­ logue. nifty supernatural chills for a long series of endanger Claire if she were "necessary for his ers in a more pleasant, hotel suite environ­ Annette Bening, another asset In Dreams allegedly spooky jolts that simply refuse to ultimate plan? Is the woman in Australia in­ ment As we neared the hotel, we interview­ shouldn't be so lucky to boast, gives an in­ make sense. Scenes pile up like a car wreck tegral to anything? And the aforementioned ers shared the realization that we were about creasingly effective performance in a role that with little or no explanation or exposition. flooded city - what function does that re­ to go head-to-head with one of the gods of doesn't do much for her in return. She plays Subplots appear and disappear. When Claire ally serve? Sigh. At least in my own dreams, the film industry. Claire Cooper, a Massachusetts children's fmally comes face-to-face with our evil mur­ I can imagine a better movie where certain DreamWorks SKG began in 1994 as a part­ book illustrator who's plagued by terrifying derer (Robert Downey Jr.), it turns out his talent didn't go to waste. nership of three of Hollywood's major play­ ers. Steven Spielberg, Katzenberg, and David Geffen began the production company know­ Virus Weakened by Lack of Creativity ing full well that it was near impossible to create a studio that would hold its own among JAMIE PECK rus' technical terrors offer eye-popping such well-established behemoths as Twenti­ Retriever Weekly Staff Writer amusement even when the story takes fre­ eth Century Fox and Warner Bros. For a quent naps from creativity. while, it looked as though DreamWorks The virus in Virus(**) would cause Tom Like its own creepy creatures, Virus ends would not be going anywhere. A series of Hanks aPd Meg Ryan's computer-dependent up cobbled together out of bits and pieces failed television endeavors (like the ABC You've Got Mail couple to run screaming from similarly-themed fright flicks. In some sitcom Champs) and the less-than-stellar per­ from their PCs - assuming, of course, it respects, it almost plays like a remake of last formances of The Peacemaker and didn't back them to pieces first. Obviously, January's awful Deep Rising, but this movie Spielberg's own Amistad seemed to raise this baby is no ordinary system bug. capable is better than that one because a formless questions about the studio's potency. Things of much worse than crashing a hard drive or mass of otherworldly intelligence is a more only turned around this year ("Thank God." deleting important files. It's sort of an ener­ compelling adversary - and story concept says Katzen berg). with megabits Saving Pri­ gized extraterrestrial entity, accidentally - than some anonymous sea monster that vate Ryan and the recent computer-animated beamed down from the Mir space station to suddenly surfaces from the ocean's briny fantasy Antz. Universal Pictures a Russian science vessel resting in intema­ bowels. Curtis is also a fun heroine to have But now comes The Prince of Egypt, the Ham Radio: Jamie Lee Curtis sends out t"onal waters. Once there, it takes control of on your side (especially when she's in grandiose animated retelling of the story of a call for help in Virus. the ship's electronics, s laughters those Halloween go-girl mode), but rhe manner in Exodus. The film is the first traditionally-ani­ onboard and begins to build itself an army of and his motley crew spy the evil-infested which she books it to safety is best described mated feature to come from the company, and cyborgs out of spare human and mechanical boat, it's salvage salvation. Silly mortals. as plot-convenient. was actually the first idea to be put into pro­ parts. Starting here, the movie adheres to strict The likeable William Baldwin tags along duction. When the making of the film was Given the set-up. Virus sounds like yet an­ genre predictability. A lone survivor (Polish as a swarthy engineer and Cuttis' leading announced, the neophyte company found it­ other Aliens dp-off. with a germ of an inter­ actress Joanna Pacu Ia, very good here) is dis­ man, but there's no time for romance; their self dipping its feet into untested water. esting idea thrown in for good measure. But covered and provides requisite plot exposi­ sole intention is survival. But what about the Granted, these guys aren't exactly young what's an Aliens rip-off without a rag-tag tion. People venture into dark corridors armed film's intentions? If you crave science-fic­ guerrilla ftlmmakers who scraped out a few team of assorted grunts and mercenaries to only with nashlights and never return. tion, don't mind story holes, logic lapses and bucks to make an indie short. Finkel man-Cox stop by this floating haunted house to infil­ Sutherland's navigator, played by Jamie Lee genre copy-catting and have 90 minutes to was a major force behind Terms of Endear­ trate and investigate? Virus' comes in the Curtis. gets her Sigourney Weaver mojo bum- the movie is pretty well-paced de­ ment; Katzen berg has his name on The Lion form of high-seas scavengers who have just workin' and guides the good guys in an at­ spite its ultimately squandered potential­ King and The Little Mermaid; and Chapman lost the barge they were tugging back to a tempt to kick interplanetary butt. Cast mem­ then this Virus is worth catching. Everyone lent her talents to The Hunchback of Notre ~~'-'.:: :::' co;~:::. Wh,.n the Irish car •1 ' rs gt ' illed off in reverse credits order. else. however. is better off staying in bed. Dame and Beauty and the Beast. So they arc (hammy Donald Sutherland. sounding li!-Ll;c lt"s a gvou 1hing director John Bruno is a drinking lots of fluids and popping some an­ got his accent inside a Lucky Charms box) skilled special effects craftsman. because Vi- tibiotics. see EGYP" 20 PAGE20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES JanWlry 26, 1999 The Prince of Egypt: A State-of-the-Art Bible Story? from EGYPT. page 19 about that story is simply not accurate to the text ... We have tried to capture the essence all seasoned veterans. But what they are do­ of the story, but it's not literal." ing now for the first time is working in an The gamble of the whole film is something open, less restricting, fresh environment - the filmmakers were surprisingly willing to one that the DrcamWorks founders strived admit to us. Even more surprising was their to create. admission that this press tour was just what Altieri. another Disney defector, makes this we all knew it was: a single-minded push to comparison between the Magic Kingdom and get as many people to watch their movie as DreamWorks: "There are physical [differ­ possible. ences] ... [At DreamWorks] they feed us Finkelman-Cox laid it all out: ''Sure, there's lunch and breakfast; there's a beautiful river a fear that adults won't see it. That's why outside. But more than that: There is a sense there's this huge effort to get the word out of support for the artists that I didn't see much that it's a movie for people of all ages. It's a at Disney ... as well as other things that make lot of effort doing these tours, because we· re it superficially nice (which are very nice in­ going around the world. What else can you deed)." do? The movie's our kid, our baby. And we' II Like DreamWorks SKG itself, the idea for do anything we can to help communicate that The Prince of Egypt was born not in a board this is a movie you should see." room but in a cushy living room: in this case. Anything. that is, except sell out. The film Spielberg's. He, Geffen and Katzenberg were isn't being marketed as a kiddie flick. No cute discussing their hopes and dreams for the new DreamWorks Pictures plush toys, no PVC vinyl dolls so children company when Spielberg asked Katzenberg Miracle Workers: Directors Steve Hickner, Brenda Chapman and Simon Wells put can recreate the death of the firstborn. A what he wanted do with the animation divi­ time and effort into the potentially controversial The Prince of Egypt. triple-threat soundtrack release and a Wai­ sion. ''(I told Steven] I'd like to do a big ad­ Mart gift set are all the promotional materi­ venture story," says Katzenberg, "like Raid­ Red Sea, all for the purpose of doing home­ no, no. It's not. When you take state-of-the­ als the film has Licensed for public sale. This ers of the Lost Ark, [or] a science-fiction work. As Finkelman-Cox put it, "It was the art technology and you render these charac­ promotional tour, plus an elaborate Web site movie, like Terminator 2." best research trip ever." ters in a three-dimensional way and then you (www.prince-ofegypr.com), are more indirect Spielberg politely waved those ideas away Once the concept was out there, it was up put them together into a live-action world and methods of getting the public's bands dig­ and asked Katzenberg what his favorite to art directors Altieri, Richard Chavez, and they completely interact with objects and ging into their pockets. DreamWorks movie was, and why. "Lawrence ofArabia. Darek Gogo! to start associating images with people and [they have] eye contact...' And Records· Lenny Waronker, probably the most What I loved about [it] was that inside this the ideas. This proved to be a challenge, since they went, 'Sure. Pete's Dragon.' But then candid of the people interviewed, summed huge epic setting ... was this intimate story of the fledgling company DreamWorks did not the movie opened. And it wasn't Pete's up the film's dilemma best: "What can you a man." And Steven said to me, 'You should yet have a real animation department. Dragon." do? You can't have shower curtains that you make The Ten Commandments.' Altieri immediately began calling up her I wanted to ask next, "Speaking of Pete's can part like the Red Sea." "So I looked at him and said, 'Okay.' And friends, asking them if they wanted to work. Dragon, was The Prince ofEgypt a conscious Without the traditional merchandising that was how it came about. Just an instinc­ "Most were perfectly happy where they attempt to compete with Disney?" But the blitz, the marketing people at DreamWorks tual idea that popped out of his mind." were," says Altieri, "and didn't want to take clever Katzenberg, eager to sidestep the is­ certainly have their work cut out for them. One could sense the glee in Katzenberg as the risk. So our whole background depart­ sues of his break-up with the Big Mouse Ears, Aren't they afraid that the movie will fail? he related this well-rehearsed story. In facr. ment, with a couple of exceptions, was made had already worked the answer to that ques­ ''Petrified!'' says Finkelman-Cox. The he was so eager to tell it that he cagily fit his up of kids out of college ... And they were tion into a previous remark ... without being worst scenario is that nobody goes to see it. answer to the next interviewer's question just young as you guys are and enthusiastic and prompted by any of us. We spent four years working on it, and no­ so he could finish telling the story. had a Jot of willingness to grow and to Jearn." "I wasn't interested in taking what was body goes! I can't think of anything worse!" "The next piece of advice that came out of So Katzenberg had people willing to make Disney's. You know: their tradition, their At last, a clear-cut, honest admission. that meeting came from David Geffen: 'You the movie, but how did he know people would style. I don't think anybody will do that as After spending nearly two hours talking can't do [the things you did at Disney] with want to see it? Wasn't he aware of the huge well, or better. than they do." with and listening to the filmmakers. I wasn't the Bible. That is not an option here ... Let risk involved? The big risk in his current enterprise, The sure who was more exhausted, them or us. me tell you three pieces of advice: You have Katzenberg offers yet another story: "The Prince ofEgypt, lay in the fact that the story The big difference was thar they had a lot to be faithful to the story. You have to tell it last time I was involved in an enterprise that is heavily steeped in religious belief. Know­ more talking to do over the weeks ahead. I accurately. And you don't know anything." was 'marketing challenged,' which I think we ing full well that the film would be exam­ had entered the interviews quite cynical about Four more truthful words have never been are, was [a film] called [Who Framed] Roger ined closely by so many people (scholars and the motives behind the big film promotion, spoken." Rabbit?"... We tried to explain to everybody non-scholars alike), Katzen berg saw to it that but after having heard Katzenberg and crew The need for historical accuracy led to a how different it was going to be, and every all aspects of the film were told as true to the sputter on breathlessly about their challenges two-week expedition to Egypt. Katzenberg, time they said anything to us, they went, source as possiele. . and hopes and fears about the movie, I Altieri, Finkelman-Cox. and nine others ven­ 'Yeah. Pete's Dragon.' He says, "Many people actually believe couldn't help but leave there wishing them tured through the Valley of the Kings, "[Director] Bob Zemeckis, Steven that The Ten Commandments. the movie, is all the best of luck. climbed the pyramids and even swam in the Spielberg and I were all out there saying 'No, the story of Exodus. And it really isn't. Much Red Line Thick on Visuals, Thin on Characterization

VICTORY MARASIGAN nous round-robin narrative, voiced by a hand­ Caviezel is Private Witt. a wandering ing tense. heart-pounding battle scenes-es­ Re1rie1•er Weekly S1ajf Wri1er ful of the film's main figures, anesthetizes his nature-boy who has a habit of taking breaks pecially in an extended sequence in which strange visuals. This sort of abstract ponder­ to enjoy the scenery. Nick Nolte's the Americans attempt to cut through long War movies haven't changed much in the ing at the film's heart creates a paradoxical glory-hungry Lieutenant Colonel Tall is in­ grass to take out the Japanese enem) ·s bun­ short history of film. Even in the best of them. situation: Malick tries to convey dream-like scrutably one-note in his selfish convictions. kers. The scene is not as bloody or explicit the only real new wrinkle offered is the raised meditation when his soldiers on-screen are As the beleaguered Private Bell. Ben Chaplin as the similar invasion in Saving Private level of gore on which the audience is allowed operating at a more urgent fight-or-flight level spends most of the film in a serene daydream Ryan, but the hold-your-breath terror is just to focus. Sometime-director Terrence of consciousness. of his wife, who is his single light at the end as effective. Malick's The Thin Red Line (** 1/z out of The director seems to have been making of a hellish tunnel. Malick's innovative spin in presenting this four), an ambitious new film about World War things up as he went along, hoping that some­ Sean Penn, as First Sergeant Welsh, is billed conflict is not a weakness in itself. Francis II's pivotal Battle of Guadalcanal. attempts how. from aU of the footage he shot, he might as a main character (his screen time and dia­ Ford Coppola was able to successfully present to take the war movie to a fresh new level. It be able to paste together a movie that would logue are more abundant than most of the war as lucid dream with 1976's Apocalypse presents war as a J 66-minute blank verse do service to its source material (it was based other talent), yet he. like so many other play­ Now. With a confident hand and a less poem. on the book by James Joyce). This may be ers in the film. doesn't leave a lasting impres­ non-committal attitude towards the subject Given that Malick intended a different ap­ why so many "main·· characters seem to come sion. A high celebrity-cameo factor presents matter, Malick may have been able to make a proach to directing h1s epic. it's too bad that under the camera's scrutiny, only to eventu­ another problem: It's very difficult to con­ film which is truly cerebrally-transcendent. the 111m itself is an overlong. pretentious ally disappear without eYcn a scream or a "Tell centrate when you're thinking about how In its present form. The Thin Red Line fails to bead-scratcher. Malick meanders between my wife ll01•e her:· much John Travolta and George Clooney ­ provoke coherent thought or connect the disturbing image!) of his soldiers in battle and The fC\\ characters '' ho appear long yes. they're in it too- got paid fortheirscant 'icwer '' ith the stark reality of war. :\lalick glO\\ ing National G<'o~raphic-style portraits enough for us to appreciate come saddled'' ith minutes of screen time. ba-. cssentiall) performed the cinematic ana­ of the \\ildlifc and regional fauna. A monoto- clearly-outlined moth ating idea b . Jim The Thin Red Line docs succeed n depict- logue of a prcfront..! lobotomy. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES January 26, 1999 PAGE21

1•1l'}tl poft£r~g Events Happening Around the now in theatres ... Greater Baltimore-Washington Area ABttg's Ufe Wednesday the 27th The show's 18-and-over, so young ·uns **** out of four Shake 'Em If Ya Got 'Em need not apply. The Rec Room is located Disney's entry into the computer-animated in­ Your life needs a lillie ... something. The near Towson Town Centre, just off that sect movie sweepstakes ranks just a smidgen bet­ ter than Dream Works' fantastic. artfu I Am::. a proc­ only log1cal course of action is that you largely un-navigatable circle, towards lamation that puts A Bugs Life on a level of near­ take up belly dancing. Every Wednes­ the movie theater. For more info, call perfection. Told with a full color palette, an end­ day, Carolyn Phillips teaches beginning (410) 337-7178. less enthusiasm and a mind-boggling imagination belly dancing at House of the Moon, 863 that always seems to be topping itself. Bug's tale West 36th Street. Go out and make us Here Come the Suns centers around a worker ant who recruits a group proud. Who knows? Maybe if this whole The Juggling Suns, those lovable hip­ of circus critters to help defend his colony from college thing doesn't work out, you can pie-guys, are at the Vault tonight. pesky grasshoppers. It's from the makers of Toy tum pro. They're pretty chill: kinda Grateful Story and. yes, on that cinematic breakthrough's Dead-y. The Vault is located at the cor­ level. -Jamie Peck Thursday the 28th ner of Eutaw and Baltimore streets A Civil Action Here, Fishy-Fishy-Fishy downtown. For details, call (410) 244- *** Touchstone Pictures Some folks call it bait, others call it 6000 or visit their Web site at As slick, diverting and well-perfom1ed as it is, Sitting Civil: John Travolta takes a break sushi. Nonetheless, New No Da Ji serves www. vaultclub.com. A Civil Action sadly lacks a chewy emotional cen­ in Action. up the fmest in Korean and Chinese spe­ ter, a shortcoming that renders a great deal of this cialties, and th~y have an all-you-can­ Saturday the 30th drama strangely uninvolving, but satisfying from ever to be depicted in an animated movie. - VM eat special for $14.95. As if that's not Sbutchomouth - I'm Talkin' 'Bout a distance. John Travolta turns in another steely enough (tuna, salmon, red snapper and Kelly Bell performance as an ambulance-chasing lawyer who Shaluspeare itt Love eel), they offer all-you-can-sing karaoke Go get funky with Kelly Bell and his takes on a big case based solely on monetary po­ **** tential, but becomes a changed man after realiz­ To compare Shakespeare in Love to a summer's on Thursday nights. New No Da Ji is great big hair. He's playing at Fletcher's ing the loss involved- a loss the audience never day still wouldn't do it justice. Thls exquisite located at the corner of 25th and with Baaba Seth (not to be confused really feels. Still, as welcomely un-Grisham as a melding of romantic drama, screwball comedy and Charles. For more info, call (41 0) 235- with Boba Fett. Two different guys, I legal thriller can get. -JP historical commentary features a high-minded, lit­ 4846. assure you). Fletcher's is located at 701 erate screenplay that speculates what it would have South Bond St. in Fells. For more j.nfo, Elizabeth been Wee for the Bard (Joseph Fiennes) to be grap­ Out All Night call (410) 880-8124. ***lfz pling with a mean case of writer's block while Check out the Pietasters, the Director Shekhar Kapur's dramatically potent penning some play called Romeo and Juliet ( origi­ Shamalamadingdongs and the Check­ Sunday the 31st and visually delightful historical drama charts nal title: Romeo and Ethyl, the Pirate's Daugh­ Queen Elizabeth I's tumultuous struggle to gain ered Cabs at Bohager's tonight, at 515 Always Check Your Backseat ter). Filled with rapturous moments and career true power over her kingdom. The inexperienced performances from an eclectic cast, particularly South Eden Street. You have to get your Et tu, Krycek? Watch The Simpsons at ruler finds herself under assault, both by her own Gywneth Paltrow. -JP tix through Ticketmonster (call 410- 8 p.m., followed by some crappy show subjects and by forces abroad, but she eventually 431-SEAT to get your hands on that that lucked out in the time slot depart­ takes England by its reins. Cate Blanchett deserves Stepmom groovy handling fee) but for more info, ment, followed by the X-Files. After an Oscar nod for portraying the young queen with **'h call the club at (410) 563-7220. that, watch the news to see crime scenes just the right balance of gawky self-consciousness Susan Sarandon and Julia Robens class up a near your house! Rat on your neighbors! and shrewd charisma. -Victory Marasigan few notches what could have been a semi-stan­ Friday the 29th dard soaper. Sarandon's a middle-aged divorcee Laugh All you Want; You Still Have Monday the 1st The Faculty whose ex-husband (Ed Harris) takes up with to Pay Cover Nothing Happens on Mondays *** younger photographer Robens, much to the cha­ A teaching staff that's truly from another planet grin of lheir two painfully precocious kids. The Check out Laughing Colors with Go ahead, watch Ally McBeal. Every­ - Invasion of the Body Snatchers-style - goes actresses partake in engagingly hissy rivalry even Brickfoot at the Rec Room in Towson. one else does. up against six plucky teens out to stop them from when the story takes a turn towards TV-movie­ first taking over their rural Ohio high school, then of-lhe-week territory in hour two. There are no the world. Scribe Kevin Williamson, the genius Jerry Springer-esque catfights, probably because writer behind those groovy Scream movies, tweaks the performers are energetic enough to carry this this trashy genre with wit and in-jokes galore, dramedy. -JP coming up with a nice homage to every film that ever played on a drive-in screen in the '50s and Waking Ned Devine '60s. Those looking for a solid story should go *** elsewhere. -JP Two old geezers. played winningly by acting vets Ian Bannen and David Kelly. attempt to scam Mighty Joe Young the rrish lotto commission in this pleasantly up­ *'h beat comedy. Whether or no1 Waking Ned Devine In the jungle, the Mighty jungle. the audience will reach The Full Momy status as the impon sleeps tonight. Even with a special effect-a 15- sleeper of the year has yet to be determined by foot gorilla plucked from his comforting jungle both audiences and Oscar. bul surprising trifles home and sent to be studied in the good ol' U.S. don't come much more engaging or affable than of A.- that seems even more alive and three­ this. Scene-stealer Kelly would be a perfect Mr. dimensional than any of its human co-stars. this Burns if anyone ever decided to do a live-action Disney remake of the much-loved 1949 classic Simpsons movie. -JP musters up absolutely no real wonder or excite­ ment until the inevitable rampage finale. The reli­ You've Got Mail able Bill Paxton and Charlize Theron play second *** banana to the big ape. Spank this monkey! -JP Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan go together Wee a scuzzy port and a motherboard in this too-cute The Prince of Egypt update of The Shop Around the Comer. The infa­ ***'lz mously charismatic pair play computer-addicted, An inspiring, transporting version of the Bibli­ secret soulmates whose respective bookstores are cal story ofExodus. DreamWorks' animators take at war with each other. As a primer on movie chem­ us from a wondrous choral prologue of Moses' isLry, You've Got Mail is unbeatable, even when (Val Kilmer) legendary beginnings to his miracu­ the story commits wrongheaded errors. The hu­ lous rescue of the Hebrews. The lilm also ex­ mor is good. the casting is great and the ending is plores his complex relationship with his brother happy. But lhosc who don't Wee Ryan or corny Rameses (Ralph Fiennes). whose tragic fall makes romance will have their gag reflex severely tested. him one of the most syrnpathizable "bad guys'' -JP

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THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY . Be PARAMOUNT PICTURES INVITE You TO GET READY FOR THE BIG PAYBACK!

THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY AND PARAMOUNT PICTURES ARE EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF PAYBACK. COME TO THE RETRIEVER WEEKLYS FuN FEsT THIS WEDNESDAY (1/27) ON THE UC PLAZA TO WIN YOUR PASS (GOOD FOR TWO) TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING OF THE FILM ON THE EVENING OF WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3RD AT R/C THEATRES EASTPOINT 10!

p YBACK OPENS EVERYWHERE ON FEBRUARY 5TH! SES AND PR ZES ARE AVAILABL i1 E SUPPL ES No PURC AS S A . LIM E E ON OYEES OF PAR E R L 0 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES JanuGI}' 26, 1999 PAGE23 MATCH POINT When building a campfire, Always keep a shovel, Thanks to you, all sorts of everyday dear a 5-foot area aro n rake and water nearby products are being made from the the pit down to the soil. when burning debris. paper. plastic. metal and glass that you've been recycling But to keep recycling working to help protect the environment.. you need to buy those products.

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I MATCH POINT When putting out a campfire, drown the fire, It, and drown It again PAGE24 January 26

Retriever aquatics battle Big East John Mischke exalts in men's2 7 25 powerhouse West Virginia basketball team's success The Broncos' John Elway is the key Both men's and women's track2 7 2 6 to Super Bowl XXXIII, says Kerner SPORTS teams compete in Covert Classic Retrievers Hold Off Winless Hawks to Remain Undeafeated Okafor, Kerry Martin Produce Key Three-Point Plays in Second Half never trailed for the rest of the haJf. Senior guard Rod Harrison sunk a three-pointer just before the buzzer ro give UMBC its largest lead of tbe game at30-22. But to begin the second half. Monmouth scored eight straight points in tbe opening I :45 to tie the game at 30-30. From there. sopho­ more Nick Grella and junior Isaac Green scored inside to reclaim a four­ point advantage before Monmouth tied the score again. Sophomore re­ serve guard 'Tim Hyland hitajumpcr off the glass with 14:32 remaining to retake the lead briefly, but Monmouth would go on a 15-3 run over the next four minutes, capped by a three-pointer by junior guard Sean Collins for a 49-39 lead with 10: 14 to play. Green responded by knocking in a baseline jumper, and after a steal by Grella, sophomore point guard Terence Ward sank a trey to cut the deficit in half with 9: 13 remaining. After some back-and-forth action over the next few minutes, junior for­ Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff ward Kerry Martin came up with a Nice Shot!: Sophomore center Nick Grella scored eight points huge three-point play inside to give and grabbed six rebounds in 62-58 win over Monmouth. UMBC a 55-54 lead with 2:38 r~ Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff JOHN MISCHKE play inside with 7.3 seconds to play. maining. On The Ball: Senior Center Monica Logan leads the nation in Retriever Weekly Staff Writer In the first half, Monmouth had Monmouth's Alpha Bangura hit rebounding with 14.1 per game sprinted out to an early 6-0 lead be­ one of two free throws at the other Using superb effort in the final fore the red-hot Retrievers took con­ end to tie the game, but Green then 10 minutes, the UMBC men's bas­ trol. An inside lay-up by Okafor gave put back a missed Okafor shot down Wo01en Gain Season ketball team was able to outlast a des­ UMBC its fust lead of the game with perate Monmouth squad at the 10 minutes remaining, as the team see MONMOUTH, page 25 UMBC Fieldhouse on Split With Monnlouth Saturday, winning 62- 58. CHRIS KERNER would not score again until there The victory kept Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff were only four minutes remain­ UMBC's Northeast ing as the Hawks inside-out com­ Conference record per­ Maybe it was a conversation bination of Audrey Taylor and fect at 12-0 (13-5 over­ with Dionne Warwick or maybe Michelle Cappadona scored 12 of all) and extended the it was merely coincidence, either the team's 14 points in the eight team's Division !-school way, head coach Jennifer minute run, increasing the lead to record winning streak to Bednarek's prediction for her 19-8. Lange, however. would end eight games. team so far this season came to the drought on another dTiving The Hawks of fruition following UMBC's 50- layup that she converted into a Monmouth, who entered 48 win over Northeast Confer­ three-point play after being the game 0-17 and with ence opponent Monmouth on fouled. Another freshman. Sheila the nation's longest los­ Saturday at the Fieldhouse. Prior Johnson, hit her only field goal of ing streak, had a 49-39 to the start of the '98-'99 cam­ the first half on UMBC's next lead with 10 minutes re­ paign, Bednarek marked on her possession, decreasing maining before the Re­ calendar that her team would be Monmouth's lead to 19-13. Four trievers battled back. 7-4 in the NEC following their free throws later and the Retriev­ Sophomore forward game with Monmouth and, sure ers were down by only two with Kennedy Okafor scored enough, Saturday's win secured just over one minute remaining in five points in the final that exact record as well as a tie the half. five minutes to put the for third place in tbe conference. The 9-0 UMBC spurt was game away, including a The Retrievers stand 9-8 overall, halted by Monmouth's Shaliek clinching three-point already two wins better than last Wright, who stole the ball and season's total. raced down the court for an easy The contest against the Hawks lay-in. Lange would convert one Leading The Way: began with UMBC's outstanding of two free throws to end the half Rod Harrison, the freshman point guard Jami Lange with the Hawks ahead. 21-J 8. lone senior on the scoring a beautiful driving layup In the second half it was Lange squad, adds that would help to establish an again for UMBC, as the freshman leadership and solid early 8-4 lead for the Retrievers scored eight of the team's first 10 shooting to the team. at the 13:41 mark of the half. Un­ fortunately for UMBC, they see BASKETBALL. page 26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS January 26,1999 PAGE25 Men Continue Roll With 13th Victory in 14 Games from MONMOUTH, page 24 the 57-56 to Morgan, Okafor, a starter at the time, missed the team bus, and sophomore Rich low for a 57-SS Retriever lead that would not Giddens. also a starter at the time, blew up at be relinquished. Su IIi van during the game. Both were suspended After another Bangura free throw. Okafor for the infractions. which Sullivan termed rela­ then connected on a second chance from an tively minor. Harrison and sophomore Brad offensive rebound to make it 59-56 with one Martin stepped in, and the team took off from minute remaining. Bangura, a product of there. beginning with an easy 68-59 victory Eleanor Roosevelt High School in Greenbelt, over the NEC's preseason favorite, Mount St. would nail down a baseline jumper with 38 Mary's. Since then. the Retrievers have won seconds remaining to get the Hawks back 13 of 14 games. the only loss coming against within one. but the Retrievers were able to hold Navy in overtime. after UMBC blew a big lead. the ball and Harrison deliv- ered inside to Okafor who 1998-99 UMBC Men's Basketball Schedule hit the lay-up and was fouled on the play of the November 13 at Pittsburgh L. 84-56 game with 7.3 seconds left. November 17 at Maryland-College Park L. 90-62 "Our big men were over­ November 19 vs. Loyola# L. 73-61 anxious in the ftrst half,'' November 21 vs. \1organ State# L. 57-56 said UMBC Head Coach December 3 MOUNT ST. MARY'S* W, 68-59 Tom Sullivan. "But they December 5 ST. FRANCIS (PA)* W. 71-43 can1e out with fire [in the December 10 at Quinnipiac* W, 82-66 second halfj .... The two big December 12 at Central Conn. St.* W. 72-65 three-point plays by Kerry December21 TOWSON W, 65-41 and Kennedy: I can't say December 23 NAVY L. 72-69 (OT) enough about how good Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff January 2 at Wagner* W. 77-57 they were." Gob With a Splash: Kevin Goh contributed three individual victories in win over January 4 at Long Island* W. 64-62 Okafor finished the game West Virginia. January 7 WAGNER* W. 53-49 with nine points and six re­ January 9 ROBERT MORRIS* W, 73-60 bounds and Martin had six January 11 at Mount St. Mary's* W. 79-70 points and four rebounds. Retriever Men Dominate January 16 at Monmouth* W. 68-48 Ward was the only Re­ January 18 at Fairleigh Dickinson* W. 68-62 triever in double-figure January 23 MONMOUTH* W. 62-58 scoring. with 12 points on Mountaineers Ladies January 28 FAIRLEIGH DICKINSON* 8 p.m. four three-pointers. but January 30 QUINNIPIAC* 4 p.m. Green added nine points February 4 at St. Francis (PA)* 7:30p.m. and fi vc boards. Grella had Aren't as Fortunate February 6 at Robert Morris* 7:30p.m. eight points and six boards Jan. 9th. faced off against another Big East February II CE~TRALCONN. ST." 7 p.m. CRAIG HARVEY and Hyland had nine points. juggernaut in the Lady Mountaneers. Februaf) 16 at St. Francis (NY)* 5 p.m. Retrie,·er Wakl\- Staff Writer Senior guard Andre Wil­ The Lady Retrievers started off well with Februaf) 18 LO!'\G ISLA.."'D* 7 p.m. liams led the visitors with a victory in the 400-yard medley relay. Un­ Februai) 20 ST. FRANCIS (NY)* 4 p.m. The 1998-99 UMBC Retriever swim pro­ I 5 points. as Bangura and fortunately for UMBC. West Virginia took February 25-March I NEC Tournament at Wagner TBA gram had mixed reviews on Sunday against freshman forward Andre control of the meet with an early domination the Big East's West Virginia Mountaineers. Williams had 12 apiece. in of the 3rd and 4th place fmisbes in the indi­ *NEC game On the day of the dedication of the Swim an outstanding perfor­ vidual events. UMBC was able to hang with # Battle of Baltimore Classic at TO\\ son Ccmre Team·s Wall of Fame. swim team alumni mance for a winless team them behind strong performance by sopho­ were invited back to support the team, as well that hung with the best team mores Christy Maskeroni. Lisandria as to witness this new memorial. The dedi­ in the league. Of the 13 victories. on!) six have been by Carvalho. freshman Sabrine Pietrzyk. and cation ceremony went off without a hitch and "They have a lot of talent,'' said Martin. "I less than double digits. and four have been by junior Veronica Castro. In the end their ef­ the alumni sat back to watch their Retrievers told IBangu1-a] to hang in there and play hard 15 points or more. The eight games above .500 forts were not enough. as the Retrievers could go to work. because they will be good in the future:· that the Retrievers now reside at ties a school not overcome the Mountaineer dominance. The Lady Retrievers. who were coming ofT The 'ictory continued what has been a tum­ record at the Division I level. Additionally, the The final score of the meet was West Vir­ of an impressive shellacking of Rutgers on around season for the Retrievers. who are in defense has been stifling. allowing li.'EC op­ ginia 144.5. UMBC 96.5. the midst of the best start in the school's Divi­ ponents to shoot just 39 percent from the field The women will look to rebound this Sat­ sion I history. The 12-0 conference mark is also and holding opponents to t.ero three-pointers urday against the George Washington Lady the team's best start ever to open play in any on three occasions. The Retrievers also set a Colonials. league and an all-lime NEC record. team record for fewest points allowed in a game The UMBC Retriever men's swim team The team is trying to play without paying in Division I in back-to-back home contests in had less trouble with the Mountaineer men December. holding St. Francis as the Retrievers dominated them, 172-59. NEC Men's Basketball StaJU!ings (PA) to 43 points before holding Sophomore Kevin Goh led the men's team Towson to 41. During this 14- in points as well as winning three individaual Conference Overall game run, UMBC has beld four events: 200 yard butterfly, 200 yard indi­ UMBC 12-0 13-5 opponents under the SO-point vidual medley. 200 yard breaststroke. Senior St. Francis (NY) 9-1 12-4 mark and no opponent except vic­ Jeremy Sansbury (200 yd, 500 yd) and fresh­ St. Francis (PA) 7-4 9-8 torious Navy scored more than 70 man Medhi Addadi (50 yd. 100 yd) added Robert Morris 6-5 - and the Midshipmen needed two individual victories apiece in the sprint 9-8 Mount St. Mary's 6-6 8-10 overtime to accomplish that feat. and middle distance freestyle events. Junior Central Connecticut State 5-6 1/-9 Before Saturday. the Re­ Mau Rausch was the other individual win­ Long Island 5-6 5-/2 trievers had really only been ner as he took home the 200-yard backstroke. Fairleigh Dickinson 4·6 7-10 tested in one NEC game, a 64-62 Junior Constantinos "Costas" Kleopa, fresh­ Quinnipiac 4-6 7-/0 victory at Long Island on Janu­ man Evan Patrick, seniors Kevin Gordon. JefT Wagner 3-9 5-13 ary 4. Other than that and the loss Taegel. Phil Boyer. and junior Rob Giggey Monmouth 0-12 0-18 the Navy, U\.1BC has been using also turned in notable performances helping its depth (nine players are aver- the Retrievers sweep five of the events. attention to the fact they arc undefeated in the aging at least I 5 minutes played After their impressive win over Rutgers conference. "I will coach the sam!.! as I always per game) and stifling dl.!fense to win games Lniversity on January II and Sunday's win have." said Sullivan on Saturday. with almost boring efficiency. All of that make the men's team looks to compete well in the Dave Chen I Retriever Weeki) Stall Th1s remarkable run really sta11ed after an for quite a turnaround from I\\ o years ago when upcoming inaugural 1\lorrheast Conference Splashing Victory: Sophomore Kevin 0-4 start. that culminated "ith a poor perfor­ the ll.!am was 5-2~. Swimming Champ1onsh1ps that\\ ill he held Goh led the Retriever men to a mance at the Battle of Baltimore Classic with at UMBC Feb. 12th -14th. dominating victory over West Virginia. losses to l~l)ola and Morgan State. Following Chris Kerner contributed to this stm)·. ,, "'"' 1 ...... ,.,_ .... ,, ....,..-y,~~,_...... nr-r .,,....,. ,, r.....,. • "Tf'f•r PAGE26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS January 26, 1999 TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT BY CHRIS KERNER Falcons Have a Chance ... If Elway Dies Super Bo,.,l XXXIII pits the mighty defensive game plan. Atlanta ust!d Ander­ Denver Bronco~ again~t the upstart Atlanta son as a receiver out of the backfield to Falcons in Miami's Pro Player Stadium. On perfectiOn. Chandler also did an outstand­ paper. it \\ oulu appear that Denver is ing job of play action faking and finding dearly th(; la,·orite. especially after their his receivers do\\ n field. ~bowing that the win in last year's hig game. But if you take Falcons offense is not simply one-dimen­ a closer look at these two teams we could sional. all be in for a big surprise from the Dirty Dem er's defense played very well Birds. again!'>! th(. run in the AFC championship. After all. the Falcons are the underdogs, holding the Jet~· Curtis Martin to a title no one expected them to beat Minnesota game record of 14 yards. However. they and they seem to have destiny on their side. gave up huge chunks of yards through the A good example of this would be when air to Vinny Testaverde. If the) allow Chan­ Gary Anderson missed h1s only field goal dler that many opportunities through the air Dave Chen I RetriC\Cr We" 1\ Staff of the season late in the )I,TfC champion­ in Super Bowl XXXIII. the result \\ill be ship game. Sure they have never been to a much different for the Broncos. DRIBBLE-DRmBLE-DRIBBLE: Freshman sensation Jami Lange has been Super Bowl, but docs that really mean any­ The ke) for Den\cr\ defense will be named Newcomer of the Week in the NEC four times already this season thing? Players nc\'er really understand the shutting do\\ n Atlanta's deep threat receiv- magnitude of er:. in Terance Lady Retrievers Move this game un­ Math1s and til after the) IfElway is at a level above all others, Tony Martin. have won or there will be little Atlanta can do to Broncos· safe­ Into Third Place in NEC lost it so in tics Steve MONMOUTH. 24 that way At­ prevent the Broncos from winning Atwater and from page fcnsively. the Retrievers held the Hawks to lanta has an their second straight Super Bowl. Tyrone 37 percent shooting and only 48 total points. advantage. Braxton arc and kept the Retrievers close at 32-28 with In the two teams' previous encounter on There are several rather large obstacles not known for their blazing speed, but rather 12:37 left. Senior center Monica Logan. who January 16, Monmouth scored 48 points in that the Falcons will have to overcome, their tremendous hitting ability. Denver's leads the nation in rebounding with 14.1 per the first half alone. however, such as Terrell Davis. He is only corners will have to do a good job of get­ game, also contributed to the comeback with "The thing this team does best is play de­ the fourth man in NFL history to rush for ting a bump at the line of scrimmage to pre­ her third bucket of the game at 12: 16 to pull fense. It reminds me of the old days and the over 2,000 yards in a single season and he vent theM & M brothers from running free UMBC within two again. way we used to play defense at Iowa. It was was named MVP of the league. lf Atlanta down the field. The one wild card for At­ From that point on, UMBC's prized fresh­ defense like T had never seen before." re­ hopes to win they will have to keep Davis' lanta is 6'7" tight end O.J. Santiago. who men took over the scoring. Guard Yinka Bada flected Bednarek after the contest. rushing totals under the century mark. made some very important catches in the connected on a three-pointer that narrowed Bednarek hopes to carry that defense into That's much easier said than done, but not Falcons win over the Vikings. Atwater and the gap to one following a Monmouth score. the team's next game against NEC-leading impossible. During the Broncos second Braxton will have to contain him in the Bada's fellow freshman Johnson and Mount Saint Mary's at the Fieldhouse on loss of the season. the Miami Dolphins middle if Denver is going to win. Danielle Shelton hit three consecutive jump­ Thursday. were able to bottle up the NFL's leading There is one huge factor that has yet to ers to give the rusher. allowing only 29 yards on 14 car­ be mentioned and that is John Elway. What Retrievers their 1998-99 UMBC Women's Basketball Schedule ries. The key to doing so was to force Davis can you say about good or number 7? The first lead since inside by having the defensive ends rush fact is that even ifAtlanta shuts down Davis. seven minutes November 18 American L, 70-57 straight upfield and letting the linebackers there is no way to contain Elway if he is at into the first half. ~ovember 21 BUCKNELL L, 76-67 make a play on him. So the key matchup the top of his game. He showed long ago UMBC main­ November 22 MORGAN STATE W. 62-58 November 24 LOYOLA L. 78-58 for Atlanta's defense will be their defen­ that he doesn't need a running game to be tained their com­ December I Towson W. 64-50 sive line versus Denver's offensive line. If successful. Now he has tremendous weap­ posure for the December 5 ST. FRANCIS (PA)* L, 52-34 Chuck Smith and company can cause some ons at his disposal in Shannon Sharpe, Ed rest of the game, December 10 Quinnipiac* W, 73-57 commotion, the Falcons will have a chance. McCaffrey, and Rod Smith. IfElway is at a and were able to December 12 Central Connecticut* W, 65-56 However, if Davis is able to get to the cor­ level above all others, there will be little bold off a late December 29 Wake Forest L, n-41 ner often in the Super Bowl, it will be a Atlanta can do to prevent the Broncos from surge by the January 2 Wagner* W, 68-46 long day for Dan Reeves' team. winning their second straight Super Bowl. Hawks as Logan January 4 Long Island* W. 76-54 On the other side of the coin, Denver You can be sure that, this being his last NFL netted a smooth January 9 ROBERT MORRIS* L, 48-45 must concentrate on stopping Jamal Ander­ game, John Elway will come to play. That turna r ou n d January 11 WAGNER* W, 56-45 son and Chris Chandler. In the NFC cham­ is why I must pick the Broncos to win. jumper and January 14 Fairleigh Dickinson* W, 71-55 pionship game, Minnesota put the clamps Johnson con­ January 16 Monmouth* L, 79-66 January 20 Mount St. Mary's* L, 67-45 on Anderson, only allowing him 67 yards verted a f ree Super Bowl XXXID Prediction January 23 MONMOUTH* W. 50-48 on over 20 carries. To counter the Vikings throw to seal the Broncos 31, Falcons 20 January 28 MOUNT ST. MARY'S* 5:30p.m. victory, 50-48. January 30 QUINNJPIAC * I p.m. ''This was our February 1 FAIRLEIGH DICKINSON* 7 p.m. EARNMONEYFORBOOKS biggest win of February 6 Robert Morris* 5 p.m. the season. Our February 8 St. Francis (PA)* 7 p.m. Healthy moles and females ages 18-25 freshmen are get­ February 11 St. Francis (NY)* 7 p.m. ting better every February 15 CENTRAL CONNECTICUT* 5:30p.m. needed for John Hopkins study. game," com ­ February 20 ST. FRANCIS (NY)* 1 p.m. me n ted February 22 LONG ISLAND* 7 p.m. Study involves havtng blood drawn Bednarek fol­ February 26-March I NEC Championships at Wager TBA *NECgames and urine collected. lowing the game, adding : "They Women's Basketball Northeast Conference Standings No discomfort or distress. responded very well after a dis­ Team NEC Overall couraging loss to I. Mount St. Mary's 10-1 12-5 Up to $375 for Mount Saint 2. St. Francis (PA) 9-3 I 0-8 Mary's [67-45 on 3. UMBC 7-4 9-8 January 20)." 4. Monmouth 7-4 9-8 completion of the Leading the 5. Wagner 7-4 9-8 scoring for 6. St. Francis (NY) 5-5 6-10 UMBC was 7. Robert Morris 5-7 6-12 study. Lange with 17 8. Fairleigh Dickinson 4-8 5-13 9. Quinnipiac 3-7 3-13 points while Lo­ 10. Central Connecticut St. 3-8 6-ll For more information, call 410 502 5433 gan grabbed 13 II. Long Island 1-10 1-16 rebounds .. De- THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS January 26, 1999 PAGE27 Balanced Retrievers Are Starting to Attract Attention

One Saturday. a ~ouple of week~ ago. the ~'EC. ··Anyone from center ~ick Grella that is now 0-18 O\'erall and possesses the Channel 45 sport~ segment began '' ith one to I 0 pia) ers can ~ John Mischke (90 percent). nation'!> longest losing 'trcak. news of the UMBCs men's basketball' ic- beat you:· sa)' jun­ UMBC abso­ ~1ost likely. every game from here on our tory at Monmouth. Although it was a wad ior forv. ard Kerry lute!) has to he the IS going tO be a battle because of those fac- game. taped footage'' a' shown. Nonnall). Martin, whose ath- onl) team in the tors. U~lBC home games only get footage, and letic shot-blocking and qmckncss off the nation that has six players who at some point If the Rctrie\crs sh\1uld happen to do the then only a quick look. But WBFF ..,howcd bench often o;ecm to S) mbolizc this team in the se:t,on. scored in double figures in three unthmkable and finr,h w11h a 20-0 confer­ some extensive looks of the tape and e'en Onl) one player. sophomore point guard straight games. \\hat docs that mean? This ence mark heading into the ·Ec tourna­ had footage of the post-game interviews. Terence \\ard, :nerages in double figures -;quad has so man) proven scorer~ that ) ou ment. then the) ''ill be marked men C\ en It was about the same time that The scoring, but six players average at least six t·an 't shut do\\ n just one. I\\ o or three pia)­ more so. Washington Post nm a stOf) on the team. while ntne pla)crs average at least four. A ers and expect to beat them. I reall) hate to sa) it, hut it might e\ en This isn't to presume that The Washington I Oth player, junio1 guard Jason Womble, is a But 11 is hardly all about offense. [n fact, be better for the Dogs to drop a conference Post is the pmnadc of Western journalbm proven scorer "ho just became eligible for it's mainl) about the team's""kti:nsc. UMBC game to take off some of that weight and (that title '' ould be held b~ your own Re­ the spring -;em ester and has yet to really heat is holdmg its opponents to W percent from JUst focus on their main goal. "We sec the triever \\ eekl) ), but The Post CO\ ers it up. and is also a fine defensive player. the field for the entire season, and just 38 big picture." said Okafor after Saturday's UMBC like it CO\ers Southwestern Cen­ This tremendous depth really started to percent in conference pia). Since the 0-4 start, \\in. ''Which is the NEC tournament and tral Montana State e\'en though our show after the team's poor sho" ing at the the Retne' crs have held an opponent under the ':\CAA championships." quaint honors col- Battle of Ballimorc Classic. 50 points four times and allowed more than On the other hand. Ul'vlBC really can't lege is just 30 which left the Retrievers reel­ 70 just once (and Na\ y needed overtime to afford to lose a game at thi~ point because minutes a\\ay "Toto, we're not in ing at 0-4. During the Rctricv­ pass that mark m a 72-69 victory). St. Francis of Nc\\ York (who the Retriev­ from the majorit) ers'loss there to Morgan State. Additionally. in NEC games, the Retriev­ ers don't pia) until I\\ icc just before the of their reader­ Catonsville anymore." starting sophomore guard Rich ers arc out-rebounding the opposttion by an NEC tournament) has onl) one loss in ship. and a large Giddens ble\\ up at Sulli' an. average of ncar!) seven league pia). number of UMBC and sophomore f<.:cted to make that might have to be scared of UMBC? won 13 of 14 games and eight straight since up he had at the beginning of the season. even the NCAA tournament. Who woulda thunk it? From 5-22 (and 0- an 0-4 start. though Giddens and Okafor are arguably the Expectations. That's what the newly 4) to this. This remarkable :season follows a 14-14 team·s two most talented players. Both are crowned Top Dogs will have to deal with the I think back to something Okafor said campaign last year that was preceded by now making big contributions off the bench. rest of the reason, as well as being a marked after the Retrievers lost to Radford in the back-to-back 5-22 seasons. Also consider and the rest is becoming history as the team team for the more senior members of the NEC Big South tournament semifinals last year, the fact that the Retrievers now play in a as gone I 0 players or more deep in every (Although it'sclearUMBC is on top because and there was already a great deal of opti­ league (the NEC) that is generally consid­ game. "Whereas once we were able to play of a team effort, no Retriever has yet to be mism about this season. "We were 5-22 my ered to be betwecn.just slightly, to consid­ checkers." Sullivan has told reporters. "Now voted the league Player of the Week despite freshman year," said Okafor. who actually erably better than. their old conference, the we're able to play chess." the team's 12-0 record. Bitterness. anyone?). redshirted that season with a bone fragment Big South. As a team. UMBC is hitting 37 percent of The weight of those expectations and be­ in his knee. "Maybe we'll be 22-5 my se­ What has been behind the remarkable its three-point attempts. Five players are at ing in everyone's cross-hairs showed on Sat­ nior year." - turnaround'? The answer is depth. The Rc­ 70 percent or belter from the free thrO\\ line. urday. when the Retrievers were nearly up­ Kennedy. maybe you ·u be BETTER than trie,ers are b) far the deepest team in the including Ward (92 percent) and sophomore set at home by :vfonmouth. a scrapp} squad 22-5 your sophomore year.

UYR

MENS TRACK VICTORI­ OUS IN COVERT CLASSIC, WOMEN FINISH FOURTH

At last week's Covert Classic at Lehigh University, the UMBC men's track team fin­ ished first of nine teams at the meet while the women's team took fourth place. Amos Akasa won the 400-meter race with a time of 50.44 seconds while Gustavo Aizcorbe took first in the 880-yard run in I :58.78 and Mark Haskins outjumped every­ one to take the long jump (23'2"). Also vic­ torious on the men's side was the 4x 880 re­ lay team (8: 11.92). For the women. Dianne Metger placed first in the 400-meter race (I :0 1.85) and BeverI\ Ruffin placed second in the 55-meter \\ ith a · imc of7.41 second!>. The 4x400 meter rela~ team also finished 111 first place (4: 11.20). - - - PAGE28 Jan.26,1999 CLASSIFIEDS

Classified Advertising Office Hours Club Notices Lost& Found Rates per 30 WORDS is a section for UMBC is a free community service Monday through Friday student clubs to make offered to UMBC students. $6.00 9:00a.m. -5:00p.m. announcements only. faculty. and staff. (Limit 5 lines) 50~ EACH BOLDED WORD Student clubs may have Doe~ not include PERSONALS. five lines free. LOST & FOUND. Classified Display Each additional line costs S 1.50 Personals CLUB NOTICES. may be placed at our offices OR THRIFT' SHOP sections. Advertising during regular hours. The cost is See separate rate schedules Rates Per Column Inch: Thrift Shop $1.00 for a four-line ad; for more information. additional lines are 25¢ each. is a Retrie~·er Weekly student Under 10 Column Inches There is a 50e charge communi!) service which provides $10.30 for personals which are in all Deadline UMBC students 3 free lines capitals or include bolded line~. All advertisments under of advertising for any textbook or Each personal must be pre-paid Clas~ified ads are due 5:00p.m. $30 must be prepaid item FOR SALE under $50. and fi lied out before insertion. A'.Illable to ~udent~ currently on the Friday preceding the issue. enroll«! .11 U~18C only. on a separate form.

JOB OPPORTUNITIES TRAVEL

Models: Athletes/body-build­ SPRING BREAK '99 ers, 19-32, $30.00 hourly. STS is America's #1 Student (Positively no charges- not a Tour Operator. school!) Don't book with anyone else Call 410-719-6246 after 12:00 until you talk to us!!! noon Cancun and Jamaica from $399 Panama City and Daytona Fraternities. Sororities & Stu­ Beach from $119 dent Groups: Earn $1000 to$ Student Travel Services 2000 1-800-648-4849 with easy 3 hour Fund Raiser www.ststravel.com event. No sales required. Fund Raiser CLUB NOTICES days are filling up, so call today. Contact Chris Coutinho 800- Chess Club meets every Friday 829-4777. 4-6 pm in UC 314 for informal, games, instruction, and conver­ FUN, RELIABLE and RE­ sation. Everyone is welcome, SPONSIBLE NANNY for from beginner to grandmaster. 2 and 5 year old in Ellicott City. ChessCiub@ umbc.edu~ Must Drive. Full/Part www.umbc.edu/chess.. Time. Will work around school [email protected]. x8499 schedule. NS. References Requested. Call 410-461-6353.

FOR SALE Pimlico Race Course and Laurel Park are accepting applications for part-time and weekend $2.444 '87 Nissan Sentra, 126k pari-mutuel tellers. No experience necessary. mi, 5 spd, CD, Great p11rt-time positio11. Flexible schedules. 4dr, brown w/ tan leather, Fam­ Five to six hour shifts at $10- $13 per hour. ily local car, call 301-571-5155, 301-335- Please call (301) 470-5460 or 0232, email (410) 578-4479 ptzamt1 @umbc.edu EOE 95 Wrangler 56k miles too! r------~ ETRIEVER~I-IE Classified Order Form Classifieds made easy! Get the good word out to 1o,ooo readers! PRINT your RWEEKLY classified ad in the space provided and choose the appropriate category. .. Help Wanted ($6 per 30 words) ~ 0 Personals ($1 per four-line ad) 0 n Club Notices (five lines free for student clubs, $1.50 for each additional line) ~ u 0 Lost & Found (free, five line limit) ~ Thrift Shop (free three line ad for stuff under $50) ~ For Sale ($6 per 30 words) u Miscellaneous ($6 per 30 words) Ads may be placed in person, phoned in or faxed in. Visit University Center 214, 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, Maryland 21250, or phone 410-455-1260 or fax 410-455-1265. Classifieds are due at 5 p.m. on the Friday preceeding the issue. ~------~