Mickalene Thomas: I Can't See You Without Me

Wexner Center for the Arts

School Programs Resources

Mickalene Thomas. Portrait of Racquel #1 with Thick Skin, 2016. Rhinestones, acrylic, and oil on wood panel. 48 x 36 in. Collection of Marilyn and Larry Fields. © Mickalene Thomas / Artist Rights Society (ARS), New York

You can’t believe in yourself if you can’t see yourself in images. That’s why I make what I make. It’s about me waiting to see myself and claim spaces that have been void for so long. Present images so that when little girls go to museums they can look up and see themselves. I am here. --Mickalene Thomas

Mickalene Thomas: I Can’t See You Without Me September 13 – December 30, 2018

On Mickalene Thomas:

Photo: © Lyndsy Welgos

“Representation is important. Figurative art is important. You can’t believe in yourself if you can’t see yourself in images. That’s why I make what I make. It’s about me waiting to see myself and claim spaces that have been void for so long. Present images so that when little girls go to museums they can look up and see themselves. I am here. I am Mickalene Thomas.” -Acceptance speech at 2018 New York Academy of Art Tribeca Ball, Vogue

• Her Website: http://mickalenethomas.com/ • Her CV

• Overview: Mickalene Thomas lives and works in Brooklyn, NY. She makes paintings, collages, photography, video, and installations that draw on art history and popular culture to create a contemporary vision of female sexuality, beauty, and power. Blurring the distinction between object and subject, concrete and abstract, real and imaginary, Thomas constructs complex portraits, landscapes, and interiors in order to examine how identity, gender, and sense-of-self are informed by the ways women (and “feminine” spaces) are represented in art and popular culture.

• Education: o B.F.A. from the Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, NY in 2000 o M.F.A. from Yale University School of Art, New Haven, CT in 2002

• Awards: o USA Francie Bishop Good & David Horvitz Fellow (2015) o Anonymous Was A Woman Award (2013) o Brooklyn Museum Asher B. Durand Award (2012) o Timerhi Award for Leadership in the Arts (2010).

Resources on Thomas: “Miraculous Muse” Interview with Ronald Sosinki: Sosinki interviewed Thomas in Jan. 2018 when she was finishing work for the show at the Seattle Art Museum, Figuring History. It wonderfully discusses some of her muses, her various techniques, including her film work, and how her work is a form of performance.

“Mickalene Thomas” by Sean Landers, Bomb 2011 Interview: Interview by one of her Yale professors on participating in programs in New Jersey museums as a child, to her museum internship and canonical art influences, like Manet’s Le Déjeuner sur l’Herbe. Addresses “womanism” vs. feminism and the gaze and the gazer in her work.

“Mickalene Thomas Delivers the Most Stylish Philosophy Lesson of All Time” She took art historical artworks on women by men head on in past exhibitions, such as abstraction Courbet’s Origin of the Universe, and Picasso’s “Tête de Femme.”

“The Multiple Media and Modes of Visibility of Mickalene Thomas” ArtPulse Mag This interview, born from the exhibition, More than Everything, deals with the artist’s process and influences on her work.

Videos on Thomas: Shortly before Mickalene Thomas's first major museum show "Mickalene Thomas: Origin of the Universe" opened at the Brooklyn Museum, ARTINFO visited her studio in Brooklyn, New York. Thomas talks about how her mother influenced her work and the various sources of her signature fragmented style (5:35 mins).

Lecture at Boston U in March 23, 2015 on how she challenges ideas of race, gender, and beauty (1 hr 19 mins).

Commentary on Hair Piece #20 by Deputy Director of Education and Public Programs and current Chairman of Education at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Sandra Jackson-Dumont, on Thomas’ revising art history (2:05).

Interview (21 mins) in which she discusses her trajectory, collages and how they’ve developped, portraits, and the influence of her mother, beauty and sexuality, pop culture and Pop Art as well as on her technique.

NYC-based artist Mickalene Thomas reflects on her 20s and the art therapy retreat that changed the course of her career path entirely. Here, she discusses swapping out her law student plans for the art world (4:37).

ON THE EXHIBITION:

Mickalene Thomas. Qusuquzah Lounging with Pink & Black Flower, 2016. Rhinestones, acrylic, and oil on wood panel. 96 x 120 in.Private collection. © Mickalene Thomas / Artist Rights Society (ARS), New York

• WHAT: 30 works that include: o paintings (with rhinestones, and collages) o site-specific murals o videos o a new multichannel video work o immersive installations o all work produced between 2005-2018

• GOALS: o To explore the intricacies of her visual dialogue with art history, identity, desire, power, authorship, pop culture, and the historically fraught relationship between artist and subject. o By casting herself, her mother, and other formidable women in her life as her models and muses, the artist pushes the boundaries of beauty as defined in the canon of art history.

• LAYOUT AND TOPICS: o 4 galleries o each gallery dedicated to one of Thomas’s significant and sustained muses: her late mother, Sandra; her former lover, Maya; her current partner, Racquel; and Thomas herself.

• MATERIALS: The works in the exhibition will feature her signature rhinestones, painted patterns, collaged compositions, and appropriated source imagery— materials she has used to challenge presumptions about perception, authenticity, and beauty.

• IN HER OWN WORDS: “By portraying real women with their own unique history, beauty and background, I’m working to diversify the representations of black women in art. Around the time I started taking photographs in the early 2000s, the reductive media stereotypes of young, black, female bodies were already pervasive. Women like Mary J. Blige, Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown were at the forefront of pop culture and still limited to depicting themselves as objects of desire. I wanted to contemplate and challenge these stereotypes through my work, as it was crucial for me to flip these ideas by making images of women who were not, for example, a ‘Foxy Brown’ but also weren’t in line with the marginalizing narrative of female subjects in Western art history. This wasn’t meant as a political statement, but I was conscious of the fact that the diversity of black women was not represented in the media or art.”

• Wexner site

Mickalene Thomas. Racquel Reclining Wearing Purple Jumpsuit, 2015. Rhinestones, glitter, flock, acrylic, and oil on wood panel. 96 x 144 in. The Rachel and Jean-Pierre Lehmann Collection. © Mickalene Thomas / Artist Rights Society (ARS), New York

Resources on Exhibition:

“Mickalene Thomas’ World Making” by Nicole R. Fleetwood, from exhibition catalog (please do not distribute) Fleetwood nicely analyzes particular artworks, including I Can’t See Without You, and As If you Read My Mind.

“Mama as Muse” by Antwaun Sargent, from exhibition catalog (please do not distribute) Focuses on her mother as 1 of her muses, and how Thomas considered the work of musicians and artists – both canonical and contemporary, in creating portraits of “Mama Bush.”

“Mickalene Thomas on Muses, Models, and Mentors” Though this article/ interview is about a past exhibition, the content relates to this exhibition, especially since she considers how we see ourselves in others in relationships between women, and on black womanhood and feminism.

Resources from recent Exhibitions: “A Room of One’s Own” by Jacqueline Francis This essay was written for the catalog of the exhibition, Figuring History: Robert Colescott, Kerry James Marshall, Mickalene Thomas, held at the Seattle Art Museum in spring of 2018. It compares the works of the artists and well describes Thomas’ style and her relationship with art history.

Tête à Tête and Interview by Carrie Mae Weems in 2015 Muse Catalog: Weems brings up poignant discussion points, like the differences between photographing herself and others, how she portrays sexuality, the role of glamour in her work, how she’s turned art history on its head (vs. just inserting the black body into it), and if a man could have done her work.

Mickalene Thomas. Portrait of Madame Mama Bush #2, 2010. Rhinestones, acrylic, and enamel on wood panel. 84 x 108 in. Collection of Dale and Richard Newberg © Mickalene Thomas / Artist Rights Society (ARS), New York

THEMES:

• woman as object, subject, or muse • black woman as object, subject, and muse • representation of women in Western art history • muses in art history • identity, gender, and sense of self constructed by (pop) culture • how we perceive and construct others’ identity • queer identity • desire • power • authorship and authority • relationship between artist and subject • art history and pop culture • beauty • race • identity and representation • femininity • “womanism” vs. feminism (see Landers and Muses, Mentors interviews, for ex.) • sexuality and female sexuality

Mickalene Thomas. Mama Bush (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher, 2009. Rhinestones, acrylic, and enamel on wood panel. 82 x 72 in. Private collection © Mickalene Thomas / Artist Rights Society (ARS), New York

VOCABULARY:

cis-gendered denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex

collage coming from the French and meaning “to glue,” this art form and technique, incorporates the use of pre-existing materials or objects attached as part of a two-dimensional surface

installation a work of art that usually consists of multiple components often in mixed media and that is exhibited in a usually large space in an arrangement specified by the artist

lesbian a woman with same-sex attraction

muse a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist

muse in art history Modern artists have used muses to depict women as sexualized objects. Thomas uses real women – her mother, friends, and lovers – to depict different (female) relationships, and the multifacets of a woman. She also wants to show how relationships continually evolve.

queer an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual or cisgender; could also specify a person who is attracted to other people regardless of their gender

stereotypes a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing

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BLACK WOMEN ARTISTS AND RACE:

Lorna Simpson. Stereo Styles. 1988 Collection Melva Bucksbaum et Raymond Learsy.© Lorna Simpson. https://www.complex.com/style/2014/02/african-american-female-artists/renee-cox

“Afrofemcentrism and its Fruition in the Art of Elizabeth Catlett and Faith Ringgold (A View of Women by Women)” by Freida High Tesfagiorgis This analyzes the “concept of ‘afrofemcentrism’ [in the work of] 2 major Afro-American women artists, Elizabeth Catlett and Faith Ringgold.” That is, it focuses on work in which Black women are the “primary, active and real-typed” figures, and subjects are “reflective of Black women’s realities.”

“20 Important African-American Female Artists of the 20th Century”: Though Thomas isn’t included, the article includes many women artists to whom Thomas is compared and with whom she’s in conversation.

“Where My Girls At? 20 Black Female Artists with Solo Exhibitions on View this Fall” On some different artists than those in the article above.

“How the Black Radical Female Artists of the ‘60s and ‘70s Made Art that Speaks to Today’s Politics” LA Times About the 2017 exhibition, “We Wanted a Revolution: Black Radical Women, 1965-85” at the Brooklyn Museum which looked at artists from the 2nd wave of feminism As one of the co-curators, Catherine Morris, asks, “The question was, do you align yourselves with the black power movement and deal with sexism in that context? Do you align yourself with feminism and deal with racism in that context? There is always a battle to be fought.”

WOMEN IN ART HISTORY:

Leonardo da Vinci. c. 1503-06/ 17. Portrait of Lisa Gherardini (?). Musée du Louvre, Paris. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mona_Lisa

Linda Stokstad, "Why Have There Been No Great Women Artists?" A 1971 essay by American art historian Linda Nochlin. It is considered a pioneering essay for both feminist art history and feminist art theory. Nochlin explores the institutional obstacles that have prevented women in the West from being recognized in art history before the 20th century.

A History of Portraiture provides a PowerPoint, that outlines portraiture from cave painting through contemporary art. Helpful if you want to use art historical examples of portraits.

“The Forbidden Gaze” in Art in America An article about fin-de-siècle female painters in which the author “examines the reasons behind the exclusion of women from life classes” and their controversial admission into the École des Beaux-Arts in Paris.

“The fact that I am a woman artist inherently shifts the classic discussion of the male gaze. As a woman, I find myself identifying with my models, and I’m not at all interested in reducing them solely to the objects of my work. While the women in my work celebrate different notions of beauty, I think simultaneously they are providing a confrontational barrier that challenges the clichés traditionally laid on women of color. Through their assertive gazes, they are demanding to be seen, to be heard, and to be acknowledged.” Broadly, 2016

“The fact that the gaze in question is from one woman to another is more powerful, to me, than the male gaze.” “Mother, Muse, Mirror: Mickalene Thomas Photographs,” by Jennifer Blessing, Muse, p. 149

FEMINISM AND THE BLACK FEMALE BODY:

"Nikki", HarmoniaCourtesy of Woman Made Gallery http://www.dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/article/29482/1/how-to-fight-tired-stereotypes-of-the-black-female-body

“A Brief History of the Three Waves of Feminism” Excellent, contextual, and brief overview of the issues at the heart of the three waves of feminism.

“We Should All be Feminists” This TED talk by Nigerian storyteller, Chimamanda Ngozi, outlines why feminism is relevant and necessary for everyone.

“Fighting Tired Stereotypes of the Black Body with Art” “A new group show is helping to move the black female body away from the notion it is an object of brutality and fetishism, rather than an identity.”

“Is Society Fascinated with Black Women’s Body Types?” This article incorporates the voices of sociologists to explain the sources and effects of stereotypes of different body types of Black women.

BLACK FEMALE QUEER CULTURE:

From left, Gladys Bentley, Jackie "Moms" Mabley and Billie Holiday. via Wikimedia Commons; Getty Images; Redferns https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/lgbtq-women-color-history-n673521

“Mickalene Thomas: Afro-Kitsch and the Queering of Blackness” by Derek Conrad Murray in American Art This essay seeks to redress the lack of representation of Black queer people “whose experiences are not encapsulated by civil rights and Black Power-era value systems.” It includes a nice discussion of how Thomas presents a “new black female subjectivity.”

“7 Queer Artists Who Are Changing the Game in 2018” Thomas is included as one of the top queer artists in this recent article (Jan. 2018). The work of the other artists support great comparisons.

“Commentary: Celebrating Black Queer Women in History” NBC News Looks at a few “Black feminist foremothers” from 1875 through the Harlem Renaissance and the 1970s. These women were game changers and paved the way for contemporary artists.

“I draw a lot of inspiration from the canonized images in the history of art, and part of that drive comes from a desire to claim these celebrated images of beauty and reinterpret them in my own way. I’m inserting the figures of black women, who have largely been forgotten or marginalized throughout the history of Western art. I am creating the context I want my work to be viewed within; rather than my work being considered as a commentary or even a departure, I actually want to take some ownership of or participate in the conversation when we talk about Matisse, Manet, Romare Bearden, Balthus, or even Warhol and Duchamp.” Broadly, 2016

DISCUSSION PROMPTS:

(Black) Women, Representation, and Beauty:

• If you could produce a tv show based on women in your life, what roles would you create? • When and where do we see women represented in daily life? What are common roles that women play? • How frequently do we see black women represented? What roles do they play? • How frequently do we see queer black women represented? How are they portrayed? • Imagine a successful woman (it doesn’t have to be someone you know). If the majority of the class imagined a white woman, what are some ways we can diversify our images of successful women? • We say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but we don’t say that the beholder’s perspective has been influenced by cultural biases. What is beautiful to you? What is ugly? What might these say about what you have and haven’t been exposed to?

Femininity and Feminism, and Authorship and Authority:

• What is the difference between femininity and feminism? Can a person be feminine and a feminist? • How are women carving out new roles today to display their many abilities? • What are some ways you can own your differences? • “Muses” have been considered inspirational, but ultimately an aspect of them can be exploited by the artist. What are some ways that women can serve as models for artists but not be exploited? • To what degree might a subject of a painting be in control of the artwork?

Art History and Pop Culture:

• What are some objects and people that make up today’s popular culture? How does something become popular? How long might some of these things or people last in our consciousness? • What aspects of pop culture today grab your attention? • Since nothing comes from nothing, artworks rely on the past and often reference other artworks. Using references from pop culture is one way to modernize art. If you were creating a painting, would you make it contemporary in content, theme, or message? • What do you think should be preserved in the history of art?

COMPARABLE ARTWORKS:

Edouard Manet. Olympia. 1863. Paris, Musée d’Orsay.

• teaching resource website • Manet was influenced by the Venus of Urbino painting by the Old Master Renaissance painter, Titian. • In turn, this painting directly influenced Mickalene Thomas. • Olympia is a high-class courtesan who defiantly looks at the customer/ viewer and is calling the shots. She chooses whether to accept or deny the offer, and is in control of her sexuality. • The naked female body had been used and displayed for centuries in artworks. However, her self-possession made this work so controversial, that 2 policemen had to guard the painting when it was exhibited in Paris for the first time. • Post-visit: Mickalene Thomas is working with a tradition of displaying the female body. How is her work different than this work, in both obvious and not-so- obvious ways? Compare the subjects of each work, their dress/ lack of, poses, and gestures. o Is Mickalene Thomas’ work as controversial and shocking?

Pablo Picasso. Tête de Femme. 1962

• helpful website • Picasso’s work, which also influenced Mickalene Thomas’ style, depicts his wife, Jacqueline Roque. • It is done in the Cubist style which means that he tries to capture different planes of an object as if it were seen from different angles at once. Thought it may seem unflattering, Picasso wanted to capture the essence of a woman he loved. • Questions: Mickalene depicts lovers, too, and creates collages of them. Do you find this or her work flattering? What aspects of them is she highlighting? How does she try to capture their essences?

• • • • • the 5 images? d What Why might she choose to represent a woman in a bedroom in each of vs. hers?subjects Picasso’s Tête de Femme? What are her goals vs. theirs? areWho their How does this work compare and contrast to Manet’s Olympia or empowered? What is her attitude toward recognized male artists? Is she She addresses this absence in this series of self Weems recognized that bodies like hers were kept out of art history. on this work: Rogue Art History Carrie Mae Weems.

oes she choose to wear or not wear? Not Manet’s Type Not Manet’s , NY Times on Weems Times NY - portrait photographs. . 1997

bitter?

Renee Cox. Liberation of Aunt Jemima and Uncle B. 1998. CibaChrome Print. 48 x 60 in.

• Renee Cox seeks to criticize racist and sexist views in society. In her Raje series, from which The Liberation of Aunt Jemima and Uncle B comes from, she dresses as a superhero, often in NYC settings. • In The Liberation of Aunt Jemima and Uncle B, she wants to free the stereotyped advertising figures. Why might Aunt Jemima and Uncle B be dressed so once they’re liberated, and why might they be younger? • How does this compare to Mickalene Thomas’ images that depict different and new roles for Black women? • for more: Cox’ website

“We all have some flaws. But when I have a moment of doubt, I find inspiration from being in the moment, by letting go. I don’t hold onto what I can’t control. Doubt is a fleeting emotion that can destroy you if you allow it to consume your mind and spirit. Each person’s time comes at variant phases, and the best you can do is enjoy what you’re doing and work hard. It can’t always be about you. Life is transformation – the wind blows, climate changes, birds chirp and trees burn. Where you are today is not where you will be tomorrow. The only person you can be is you. So be the best person you can be, but you have to do the work.” Elle Mag Interview, “Mickalene Thomas on Identity, Finding Joy, and Glitter” Dec. 18,‘17

RELEVANT (YOUNG ADULT) LITERATURE:

It’s Not Like It’s a Secret Misa Sugiura

This charming and bittersweet coming-of- age story featuring two girls of color falling in love is part To All the Boys I've Loved Before and part Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda.Sixteen-year-old Sana Kiyohara has too many secrets. Some are small, like how it bothers her when her friends don't invite her to parties. Some are big, like the fact that her father may be having an affair. And then there's the one that she can barely even admit to herself-- the one about how she might have a crush on her best friend. description: AbeBooks

From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun Jacqueline Woodson

Melanin Sun has a lot to say. But sometimes it’s hard to speak his mind, so he fills up notebooks with his thoughts instead. He writes about his mom a lot. They’re about as close as they can be, because they have no other family. So when she suddenly tells him she’s gay, his world is turned upside down. And if that weren’t hard enough for him to accept, her girlfriend is white. Melanin Sun is angry and scared. How can his mom do this to him? Is this the end of their closeness? What will his friends think? And can he let her girlfriend be part of their family? description: AbeBooks

Voyage of the Sable Venus Robin Coste Lewis

Winner of the 2015 National Book Award for poetry, Lewis’ first collection considers the construction of the black female self, with the title poem being comprised solely of titles of artwork that reference the black female body in Western art. description: Black Youth Project

Cane River Lalita Tademy

Beginning with her great-great-great- great grandmother, a slave owned by a Creole family, Lalita Tademy chronicles four generations of strong, determined black women as they battle injustice to unite their family and forge success on their own terms. They are women whose lives begin in slavery, who weather the Civil War, and who grapple with contradictions of emancipation, Jim Crow, and the pre-Civil Rights South. As she peels back layers of racial and cultural attitudes, Tademy paints a remarkable picture of rural Louisiana and the resilient spirit of one unforgettable family.

Meticulously researched and beautifully written, Cane River presents a slice of American history never before seen in such piercing and personal detail. description: amazon.com

Demi-Gods Eliza Robertson

"A lot of this novel is about Patrick's gaze on Willa, but I also wanted to invert that gaze. In the language, I wanted to physicalize and sexualize how the men looked to Willa and have Willa almost see them how her mother sees them. Actually the title Demi-Gods was inspired by a photo series taken in Brooklyn, New York in the 1960s of very beautiful men. It was called Les Demi Dieux. [The photo series] was very much about the male gaze. It was a male photographer shooting these men. I found myself really captivated by the photos and this idea of seeing men in art sexualized because that's not very common."

Eliza Robertson interview

RELEVANT BACKGROUND LITERATURE:

Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black bell hooks

An investigation of feminist theory written in an accessible style and grounded in personal testimony, this volume includes chapters on feminist scholarship, feminism and militarism, homophobia in Black communities, self-recovery, violence in intimate relationships, overcoming white supremacy, and class and education. description: Between the Lines

Sisters of the Yam: Black Women and Self-Recovery bell hooks

When Sisters of the Yam was originally released in 1994 it won critical praise and solidified bell hooks’ reputation as one of the leading public intellectuals of her generation. Today, the book is considered a classic in African American and feminist circles. It provides a launching point for much of hooks’ later work. Tackling such issues as addiction, truth- telling, work, grieving, spirituality, and eroticism, hooks shares numerous strategies for self-recovery that can heal individuals and inspire struggle against racism, sexism, and consumer capitalism. description: Between the Lines

Woman Work by Maya Angelou

I've got the children to tend The clothes to mend The floor to mop The food to shop Then the chicken to fry The baby to dry I got company to feed The garden to weed I've got shirts to press The tots to dress The can to be cut I gotta clean up this hut Then see about the sick And the cotton to pick.

Shine on me, sunshine Rain on me, rain Fall softly, dewdrops And cool my brow again.

Storm, blow me from here With your fiercest wind Let me float across the sky 'Til I can rest again.

Fall gently, snowflakes Cover me with white Cold icy kisses and Let me rest tonight.

Sun, rain, curving sky Mountain, oceans, leaf and stone Star shine, moon glow You're all that I can call my own.

I am a Black Woman by Mari Evans

I am a black woman the music of my song some sweet arpeggio of tears is written in a minor key and I can be heard humming in the night Can be heard humming in the night

I saw my mate leap screaming to the sea and I/with these hands/cupped the lifebreath from my issue in the canebrake I lost Nat’s swinging body in a rain of tears and heard my son scream all the way from Anzio for Peace he never knew….I learned Da Nang and Pork Chop Hill in anguish Now my nostrils know the gas and these trigger tire/d fingers seek the softness in my warrior’s beard

I am a black woman tall as a cypress strong beyond all definition still defying place and time and circumstance assailed impervious indestructible Look on me and be renewed

To Black Women by Gwendolyn Brooks

Sisters, where there is cold silence no hallelujahs, no hurrahs at all, no handshakes, no neon red or blue, no smiling faces prevail. Prevail across the editors of the world who are obsessed, self-honeying and self-crowned in the seduced arena.

It has been a hard trudge, with fainting, bandaging and death. There have been startling confrontations. There have been tramplings. Tramplings of monarchs and of other men.

But there remain large countries in your eyes. Shrewd sun.

The civil balance. The listening secrets. And you create and train your flowers still.

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? ‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops, Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you? Don’t you take it awful hard ‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I’ve got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame I rise Up from a past that’s rooted in pain I rise I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise

American History by Michael S. Harper

Those four black girls blown up in that Alabama church remind me of five hundred middle passage blacks, in a net, under water in Charleston harbor so redcoats wouldn’t find them.

Can’t find what you can’t see can you?

Lullaby by W. H. Auden

Lay your sleeping head, my love, Human on my faithless arm; Time and fevers burn away Individual beauty from Thoughtful children, and the grave Proves the child ephemeral: But in my arms till break of day Let the living creature lie, Mortal, guilty, but to me The entirely beautiful.

Soul and body have no bounds: To lovers as they lie upon Her tolerant enchanted slope In their ordinary swoon, Grave the vision Venus sends Of supernatural sympathy, Universal love and hope; While an abstract insight wakes Among the glaciers and the rocks The hermit’s carnal ecstasy.

Certainty, fidelity On the stroke of midnight pass Like vibrations of a bell, And fashionable madmen raise Their pedantic boring cry: Every farthing of the cost, All the dreaded cards foretell, Shall be paid, but from this night Not a whisper, not a thought, Not a kiss nor look be lost.

Beauty, midnight, vision dies: Let the winds of dawn that blow Softly round your dreaming head Such a day of welcome show Eye and knocking heart may bless, Find the mortal world enough; Noons of dryness find you fed By the involuntary powers, Nights of insult let you pass Watched by every human love.

Male gaze by Lydia Cooper

Who taught you how to male gaze? On a day so hot it could cook an egg... Was it your father That told you my legs were sexual fodder? Or was it your mother Who said my tits are wild and for someone other than a toddler Now while I'm proud to a woman I also walk this earth as human And your eyes make me despise Every curve of my thighs As much as I'm beautiful My mind is also useful

Who taught you to male gaze On hot New York days?

Fate brought her back to me by lady fej

We all have our moments of getting attracted to a lady She was my crush back in school Years have gone by everyone has moved on

Somehow fate brought me back to her

This Kiss, This Bliss by antarctic fire

In that split of a split second when I tasted your mouth their worlds crashed but my blood came to life.

I look at you and i forget everything else.

Growing Up A Black Woman: A Coming-Of-Age Short Story by Lindsay Debrosse August 10, 2017, 12:39 am

I was always too loud.

The curls of my hair always had a way of poking through the hard gel my mom tried to hold them down with. The frilly white socks with ruffles at the top itched my feet. It was my first day of kindergarten.

“Okay, you can go over there with all the other kids,” said Ms. Brown. My bright pink shirt did its best to mask the uncertainty I walked with. My legs refused to move.

“Come on. You can do it. Go play with the other kids,” said Ms. Brown. I nodded and began to walk.

I could barely get my legs to move. The fluttering of my stomach made me ill. My body heat started to rise. And all I wanted to do was hide.

“Hi!” Her blonde hair masked my vision. Her teeth had a weird blueish green tint to them, and I realized it was because pieces of blue crayon were stuck between them.

“What’s your name!?” asked the blonde girl.

“I’m Lindsay. What’s your name?” I asked.

“Oh, my name is—” I never remembered her name.

“Lindsay you can color if you want,” said Ms. Brown. I grabbed a blank page and looked for a blue crayon. I couldn’t find one. The room was split. Half of the kids were playing with toys, and the other half was coloring. A boy named Jason grabbed a doll from the blonde girl’s hand. Her cheeks flushed up, and her tears began to fall.

“Hey! Give her back her doll,” I said. The boy looked at me with a blank expression and left, taking the doll with him. The girl with the tear stained cheeks ran to Ms. Brown crying.

—

It had been a week since my first day. Every day went the same. We’d color, eat, sleep, and play.

“Okay, guys come back in,” said Ms. Brown. I quickly wiped the crumbs off my shirt. I ran to the door and grabbed the first toy I saw.

“Brittany, here take this! I don’t want Jason to take it,” I said. Brittany, another girl I became friends with, ran towards the Barbie doll on the floor, and reached for it, but Jason got there first. Her eyes turned glassy. The tears fell.

“Brittany, what’s wrong?” I asked. Her sniffles were louder than her words.

“Is this what you want Brittany?” said Jason, shaking the brand new Barbie in her face.

“Give it back. She wants to play with it,” I said.

“I don’t want to”

“Give. It. To. Her. Now.” I reached for the doll.

“No.”

“Jason give it back! It’s not yours!” I grabbed the doll.

“Yes it is! It’s mine!” He caught the fabric of my collar and pulled me down.

“Jason, leave me alone!” I pulled him down.

“Lindsay!” I looked up and there she was. Ms. Brown standing with her red beady eyes. I thought she was ready to yell at him.

“What are you doing, Lindsay!?” asked Ms. Brown. Feet stopped. Playing stopped. My breathing slowed.

“Jason, was trying to take the Barbie and I want—”

“You are way too loud. You need to be quiet,” said Ms. Brown.

“I was just trying to—”

“You are too loud,” repeated Ms. Brown. I was always too loud.

I was always too opinionated.

I wiped the beads of sweat off my forehead. The bell had rung minutes before.

“Hey Lindsay!” smiled Mr. Glaze. His bald head shimmered in the sunlight. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Yes, I did. I had somewhere to be. I had to be home.

“No… not really,” I replied. He didn’t have to say anything. I knew what I had to do. I lugged my heavy bag over my shoulders and headed for the stairs. I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to go home.

A boy sat in the stairwell. He had a beaten up black backpack, with paint blotches all over. His pale skin crept through the tear at the bottom of his jeans. My foot hit the cement stair, and he glared at me.

“Hey, nig—”

“What?” I said. I was 12, and that was the first time I’d ever been called the N-word to my face.

“It was a joke,” said the pale boy. I wasn’t smiling.

“It’s not funny. You shouldn’t joke about that. Don’t call me a nig—”

“I can call you whatever I want,” argued the pale boy. His dirty matted hair stuck to his forehead. Spit laid across his cracked lips. His lips nearly bled as they creased into a smile.

“No, you can’t call me that. That’s rude,” I immediately replied. The fury that boiled inside was a kind of rage I never even knew existed. My legs went numb, my hands started to shake. It became clear that my own body heat was an uncontrollable sense, an overwhelming feeling that started to turn me inside out. “You don’t call black people that. You can’t call me a n*****”

“Shut up,” he wittily retorted.

He didn’t want to hear what I had to say. Frankly, at the time no one really wanted to. I remember his name, I remember his stupid face, but I also remember the way that he made me feel like my feelings were unimportant. No matter what I said, it didn’t matter. Truly, for the first time in my life, I felt like no matter what I did, no matter how angry I got, whatever I said it was simply not important. I was always too opinionated.

I always had too much to say.

It was my first week at my new school. I was the only sophomore in a class full of freshmen. The sound of the pipes echoed in the room. Everyone was in little clusters, and then there was me.

“Okay, everyone get into groups,” interrupted Ms. Ray. The room immediately erupted back into conversation. Everyone grouped together, except me. I was alone.

“You can go there,” said Ms. Ray. She pointed to a table with a boy wearing a striped shirt. I hesitantly walked towards the table.

“Okay guys, connect the pieces to the right information,” confusingly added Ms. Ray.

“Okay, so do you guys have any idea how we should do this?” I asked. The boy in the striped shirt grabbed the bag and spread the pieces around.

“What are you doing?” angrily asked the blonde girl. He laughed.

“Hey, can we just focus on the—,” I reasoned.

“No.” He scattered the pieces around the table.

“Please can we just—” I tried again.

“No, I wan—”

“Stop! You are making a mess!” I yelled. I was tired. I was done.

“Gosh, why are black women so aggressive?” he said.

Why are black women so aggressive? I’ve heard this line for most of my life. Why are black women so loud? So opinionated? I have been indirectly told that black women are always a problem, that they always had something to be angry about since the day I was born. Growing up, there were times I had to hold back, I had to stay put, to stay quiet. My dad’s friends would always come over to play cards. The TV was on, and I would braid my doll’s hair.

“Man, you will not believe this woman,” he said. My dad laughed and continued to shuffle the cards, “She thinks she can walk into my house, and take my things. I promise the next time I see her I am going to kill her,” he said. He grabbed the cards and dealt them. I ran to my dad and sat on his lap.

“Daddy, why is he being so mean?” I asked. He didn’t hear me.

“So why did you even marry her?” asked another man. He simply shrugged.

“I don’t know what I was thinking when I married that fat bitch,” he said.

“Why are you so mean?” I asked. The shuffling stop. Everyone heard me, “You don’t have to be mean, she’s your wife,” I said.

“Stop.” My father said. I didn’t understand. His eyes were glued on me. His smile had vanished. The wrinkles around his eyes had faded. His warm embrace suddenly turned cold.

“What? He’s being mean,” I said. My dad said nothing else. I knew he wanted me to stop talking. I didn’t understand. He had always told me to speak up and to stand up for myself. That’s what I was doing, but he was so upset. That was the first time I remember not being supported.

—

The smell of motor oil filled the air. The awning was packed with children. Parent pick- up was the worst. I saw the top of my mom’s faded green car.

“Hi Mommy,” I said. My eyes felt heavy.

“What’s wrong? Are you tired?” asked my mom. I nodded.

“Are you okay?” she asked. She reached a hand in the backseat.

“No.”

She didn’t have to muster a word. She wanted to know what was wrong.

“My teacher yelled at me today. I was just trying to help,” I said. “The boy said the new girl was ugly, so I told him that was mean. He called me stupid so I yelled at him and I got in trouble.” I was waiting for my mother to get angry.

“You did the right thing,” my mom said. I was confused. “You stood up for her and yourself. I’m proud of you,” she continued. She was proud of me. She supported me.

I no longer shut up. I use my voice. I use it every day, in every situation. I will continue to speak up, to stand up, and most importantly fight for my people, whether it be through my writing, my activism, and or my actual voice. I will use it.