Women, Relationships & Jewish Texts
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RETHINKING WOMEN, RELATIONSHIPS & JEWISH TEXTS Purim 5772, March 2012 Dear Friend, JWI is delighted to release the first of a series of guides, Women, Relationships and Jewish Texts, designed to spark new conversations about iconic relationships by taking a fresh look at old texts. The focus of this guide, Rethinking Purim, lends itself to lively discussion in and around the holiday. Using the text of the megillah, midrash, and modern commentary, the guide is designed to encourage conversations about relationships. Each section of the guide discusses a different quality common to healthy relationships: a voice of one’s own, the conscious use of self, and striving for parity. A number of people were instrumental in developing Rethinking Purim: Rabbi Donna Kirshbaum conceived of the project and is the lead author of this guide. We are also grateful to Rabbis Amy Bolton and Nina Beth Cardin and Cantor Deborah Katchko‐Gray for their thoughtful participation in the project. All are members of JWI’s Clergy Task Force on Domestic Abuse in the Jewish Community, a group of prominent clergy committed to promoting Jewish responses that end violence against women. Please visit www.jwi.org/clergy to learn more about the important work of the Task Force. We are thrilled at the level of interest in the guide expressed by the Jewish community. Our work is stronger through our partnerships and collaborations and we thank the many organizations helping to disseminate this guide to their networks. We anticipate that the guides will be used by diverse people in a variety of settings ‐ whether in a synagogue, college or at home, in a preexisting study group, hevruta [study‐pair] or book club, or just by friends getting together for coffee or a meal. Three more guides will be released in the coming year – each will be based around a different Jewish holiday. We hope that you will be as eager to read and use them as we are to share them with you. We look forward to hearing your feedback, Wishing you a joyful Purim, Lori Weinstein Deborah Rosenbloom Executive Director Director of Programs Jewish Women International is the leading Jewish organization working to end violence against women and girls domestically and internationally. JWI’s multifaceted advocacy focuses on the Violence Against Woman Act and the International Violence Against Women Act while JWI’s healthy relationship and financial literacy programs help girls realize the full potential of their personal strength. JWI’s convenes the Clergy Task Force on Domestic Abuse in the Jewish Community and the Interfaith Domestic Violence Coalition, which advocates at the national level for anti‐violence legislation. For more information, please visit www.jwi.org or contact us at 800.343.2823. Rabbi Richard Hirsh – co-chair Reconstructionist Rabbinical Ass’n Wyncote, PA Rabbi Marla Hornsten – co-chair March 2012 Adar 5772 Temple Israel W. Bloomfield, MI Rabbi Rachel Ain Jewish Federations of North America Shalom, New York, NY Rabbi Vicki Axe On behalf of the JWI Clergy Task Force on Domestic Abuse in the Jewish Congregation Shir Ami Greenwich, CT Rabbi Amy Ruth Community we are pleased to welcome this wonderful new resource Rethinking Bolton Purim: Women, Relationships and Jewish Texts. We hope it will be warmly received Teaneck, NJ Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin and widely used throughout the Jewish community. We are grateful to our many Baltimore, MD organizational partners for their assistance and support in distributing this resource Rabbi Sean Gorman in preparation for the observance of Purim. The Pride of Israel Synagogue Toronto, Ontario This guide combines a respectful reading of classic texts with provocative and Rabbi Susan Grossman Beth Shalom Congregation perceptive insights, questions and ideas that can help shape healthier relationships. Columbia, MD It can help raise awareness of the ways in which issues of gender and power Cantor Deborah Jacobson intersect with and can be addressed through such Jewish values as k’vod ha‐briot Temple Ahavat Shalom Palm Harbor, FL (respect for the dignity and integrity of each person) and kedusha (sanctification), Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray among others. Temple Shearith Israel Ridgefield, CT We want particularly to thank several members of the Clergy Task Force Rabbi Donna Kirshbaum including Rabbi Donna Kirshbaum who conceived, developed, and took Congregation String of Pearls Princeton, NJ responsibility for the text of Rethinking Purim and Rabbi Amy Bolton, who Rabbi Anson Laytner contributed numerous insights at various stages of the projectʹs development. We Jewish Family Service of Seattle also thank our Task Force members Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin and Cantor Deborah Seattle, WA Katchko‐Grey for their participation in this project. This project could not have been Rabbi Esther L. Lederman Temple Micah completed without the support of JWI and in particular Deborah Rosenbloom, JWI’s Washington, DC Director of Programs. Ari Lorge (student) Hebrew Union College, We welcome your reactions to this resource, and hope you will use it in many Cincinnati , OH settings. Rabbi Ron Muroff Chisuk Emuna Congregation Harrisburg, PA With best wishes for a Purim that combines levity and limmud (study), Rabbi H. David Rose JDiscover Washington, DC Rabbi David M. Rosenberg Jewish Child and Family Services Chicago, IL Rabbi Susan Shankman Washington Hebrew Congregation Rabbi Richard Hirsh Rabbi Marla Hornsten Washington, DC Co‐Chair, Clergy Task Force Co‐Chair, Clergy Task Force Deborah Rosenbloom, Esq. JWI, Director of Programs Lori Weinstein JWI, Executive Director JWI 2000 M Street NW Suite 720 Washington DC 20036 800 343 2823 (t) 202 857 1380 (f) www.jwi.org Introduction Isn’t a grogger – a noisemaker – enough for Purim? Why create a Purim guide? My colleagues – Rabbi Amy Bolton, Cantor Deborah Katchko‐Gray, and JWI Director of Programs Deborah Rosenbloom – and I knew that Jewish women today are making a new kind of ‘noise’ on this holiday by using it as a time to speak out against the mistreatment of women and against abusive relationships. We decided to go a step further and see what Purim could teach us about healthy relationships. Based on our reading of Megillat Esther, we chose what we consider to be three characteristics of healthy relationships *developing a strong voice, *cultivating the conscious use of self and *striving for parity. We plan to explore more of them in future guides based on other Jewish holidays. Although the topic of healthy relationships is a serious one, we hope that – in the spirit of Purim – you’ll leave some time to have a little fun, too. At the end of the guide we ask you to imagine the marriage of Queen Esther and King Achashverosh one year/seven years/ many decades after the surprising chain of events that turns their lives and the Persian kingdom upside down. Wishing you a happy Purim as well as inspiration and strength from the texts, commentaries, questions, and suggested action plans that follow, Rabbi Donna Kirshbaum 4 Jewish Women International www.jwi.org Frequently Asked Questions Q: Is this guide for women only? A: No, not at all. Since men are often part of the equation of a healthy relationship, we hope they’ll join the conversations that this guide tries to encourage. Q: The guide doesn’t seem to follow the order of the story in the megillah. Am I mixed up or is the guide mixed up? A: Neither! We deliberately took a thematic approach to the story instead of a sequential approach. Q: I’m going to be facilitating these discussions with a group that is not familiar with Purim. Do you have any suggestions on how to use the guide? A: In that case, take a few minutes to relate the highlights of the Purim story before using the guide. Q: Study and conversations sound interesting, but is there a follow up? A: As Jews, we know that study and action complement one another; save some time for browsing the Suggestions for Action at the end of the guide. If there’s enough interest, ask the group to form a small committee responsible for planning the next steps. Q: How can my study group use this guide? A: There are a number of ways to use the guide. We suggest starting by briefly sharing why you think this topic is an important one for the group to discuss. Some study groups find it meaningful to ask participants to either say aloud or think of the name of someone in whose honor or memory they want to devote this study. Then ask participants to read the text(s) (either in English, Hebrew or both) and the commentary that follows, aloud. Use the accompanying questions and prompts to begin the conversations. If you can’t cover all the material in one study group session, then consider using the guide at a second session. Alternatively, you might want to browse through the entire guide and select one section for your study and focus, including the suggestions for action. Your group may be inspired to take action beyond the time allocated for the study group, and hopefully the guide will spark conversations that continue after the formal time allocated for the study group. 5 Jewish Women International www.jwi.org Q: I’m a rabbi and I’m going to be delivering a sermon related to Purim the Shabbat before. How can I use the material in this guide? A: You may want to begin a congregational conversation by choosing one of the themes and texts for your d’var torah. You may also want to make the guide available to the entire synagogue through your listserv and encourage groups such as the sisterhood to hold a study group session to discuss the entire guide.