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ORANGE 1001 9-20-12 YELLOW PAGES Copy.Fdx ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK PILOT Ep. #1001 Written by Jenji Kohan Directed by Michael Trim Based on the Memoir by Piper Kerman Production Draft - 09/07/12 Blue (full) - 09/12/12 Pink (pages) – 09/14/12 Yellow (pages) – 09/20/12 Green (pages) – 09/24/12 (Pages Affected: Cast, 38, 46) Copyright © 2012 Lions Gate Television Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No portion of this script may be performed, published, sold or distributed by any means, or quoted or published in any medium, including any website, without prior written consent. Disposal of this script copy does not alter any of the restrictions set forth above. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK CAST EPISODE #1001 GREEN 09/24/12 PIPER CHAPMAN TAYLOR SCHILLING LARRY BLOOM JASON BIGGS MISS CLAUDETTE PELAGE MICHELLE HURST GALINA “RED” REZNIKOV NICKY NICHOLS NATASHA LYONNE ALEX VAUSE LAURA PREPON SAM HEALY MICHAEL HARNEY POLLY HARPER MARIA DIZZIA GEORGE “PORNSTACHE” MENDEZ PABLO SCHREIBER JOSEPH “JOE” CAPUTO NICK SANDOW JOHN BENNETT MATT McGORRY LORNA MORELLO YAEL STONE ERICA “YOGA” JONES CONSTANCE SHULMAN DAYANARA DIAZ DASCHA POLANCO ALEIDA DIAZ ELIZABETH RODRIGUEZ JANAE WATSON VICKY JEUDY CARRIE “BIG BOO” BLACK LEA DELARIA CAROL CHAPMAN DEBORAH RUSH CAL CHAPMAN MICHAEL CHERNUS HOWARD BLOOM TODD SUSMAN TASHA “TAYSTEE” JEFFERSON DANIELLE BROOKS SISTER INGALLS BETH FOWLER SOPHIA BURSET LAVERNE COX PETE HARPER NICK STEVENSON BLANCA FLORES LAURA GOMEZ AMY KANTER-BLOOM KATHRYN KATES CELESTE CHAPMAN MARY LOORAM GINA MURPHY ABIGAIL SAVAGE BILL CHAPMAN BILL HOAG ANITA DeMARCO LIN TUCCI MISS ROSA CISNEROS BARBARA ROSENBLAT WANDA BELL CATHERINE CURTIN GLORIA MENDOZA SELENIS LEVYA ELIQUA MAXWELL LOLITA FOSTER J. THOMPSON HAROLD SURRATT S. O’NEILL JOEL MARSH GARLAND B. MOSKOWITZ PEDRO MOJICA BAGGAGE HANDLER FRANCIS DUMAURIER IGME DIMAGUIBA KAIPO SCHWAB WADE DONALDSON BRENDAN BURKE WAITER ERWIN FALCON ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK LOCATIONS EPISODE #1001 GREEN 09/24/12 INTERIORS EXTERIORS CONNECTICUT KITCHEN PIPER & LARRY'S BROWNSTONE TRADITIONAL BATHROOM BACKYARD DORM BATHROOM LITCHFIELD PRISON LOFT BATHROOM PARKING LOT STARTER APARTMENT BATHROOM TRANSPORT VAN PIPER & LARRY'S BROWNSTONE LITCHFIELD PRISON CAMP BATHROOM YARD BEDROOM FANCY NORTHHAMPTON APARTMENT KITCHEN BEDROOM FIAT NEW ENGLAND HOUSE TRANSPORT VAN LIVING ROOM LITCHFIELD PRISON PEA ISLAND, CAPE COD LOBBY BEACH STORAGE-TYPE ROOM LITCHFIELD PRISON CAMP ROOM BLOCK SHOWERS MAIN HALL PROCESSING AREA EXAM ROOM HEALY'S OFFICE ROOM SIX CAFETERIA CAPUTO'S OFFICE FANCY CHICAGO HOTEL ROOM BRUSSELS AIRPORT TERMINAL CIBINONG BAR, JAKARTA ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK #1001 "Pilot" GREEN 9/20/12 1. BATHING MONTAGE: We cycle through a series of scenes with voice overs (or maybe no voice overs - let’s decide in post). Underneath the dialogue, one song plays throughout, ‘Tell Me Something Good,’ by Rufus and Chaka Khan. Lionsgate, please pony up. It’s too perfect. 1 INT. CONNECTICUT KITCHEN - DAY - 1979 1 A beautiful, fat, blonde baby burbles and splashes in a kitchen sink. A maternal hand pulls out the sprayer and gently showers the baby who squeals with joy. PIPER (V.O.) I’ve always loved getting clean. CUT TO: 2 INT. TRADITIONAL BATHROOM - 1984 2 Five year old Piper plays in a bathtub surrounded by toys. PIPER (V.O.) Water is my friend. CUT TO: 3 INT. TRADITIONAL BATHROOM - 1989 3 Ten year old Piper with a lather mohawk, sings her heart out into a shampoo bottle. PIPER (V.O.) I love baths. I love showers. CUT TO: 4 INT. DORM BATHROOM - 1997 4 Seventeen year old Piper showers with a cute guy. PIPER (V.O.) I love the smell of soaps and salts. CUT TO: 5 INT. LOFT BATHROOM - 2001 5 Twenty year old Piper showers with a woman. (ALEX) (CONTINUED) ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK #1001 "Pilot" GREEN 9/20/12 2. 5 CONTINUED: 5 PIPER (V.O.) I love to lather. CUT TO: 6 INT. “STARTER APARTMENT” BATHROOM - 2004 6 Piper sits alone in a bath with candles burning, a glass of wine and bubbles up to her neck. PIPER (V.O.) I love to soak. CUT TO: 7 INT. PIPER & LARRY’S BROWNSTONE, BATHROOM - 2010 7 Piper in a clawfoot tub in a brownstone in Brooklyn with LARRY. PIPER (V.O.) It’s my happy place. (Beat) Was my happy place. CUT TO: 8 INT. LITCHFIELD PRISON CAMP, ROOM BLOCK SHOWERS - DAY - 8 TODAY (DAY 3) We see water coming out of an old, generic showerhead. We follow it down past the dirty mustard color tiles. Under the less than forceful stream, stands our Piper. There’s no steam because it’s not that hot. She quickly swipes at her pits and parts with a small bar of soap. We hear a squish sound as she moves. We pan down further to see she has attached a MAXIPAD to each of her feet to protect herself from fungus (maybe with hair rubber-bands?). The pads are expanding in the pooling, greyish water. She’s not happy. The shower curtain is a shred. Song fades. A young, tough, black woman in a muu-muu, TAYSTEE, carrying a crocheted shower caddy, walks up to Piper’s shower stall. She stops. Waits. PIPER I’ll be out in a sec. I swear. TAYSTEE Uh huh. I wait. There best be hot water left. PIPER There wasn’t much when I started. (CONTINUED) ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK #1001 "Pilot" GREEN 9/20/12 3. 8 CONTINUED: 8 TAYSTEE Uh huh. Hurry. PIPER Okay. Okay. Done. Piper shuts off the water and slides open the ratty curtain, quickly reaching for her towel that’s hanging just outside. TAYSTEE Damn, you got some nice titties. PIPER Thanks. TAYSTEE You got them TV titties. They stand up on they own all perky and everything. PIPER Yes, well. TAYSTEE (eyeing the maxi-pads) You know they sell flip flops at commissary. PIPER Yeah, my money’s not in yet. TAYSTEE You creative. I give you that, High Tits. Now get the fuck out the way. Piper quickly gets her clothes and scoots away, looking down her towel to see if her boobs are all that Taystee thinks. Taystee gets naked and turns on the shower, not even bothering to close the curtain. And from the shower, Taystee sings in her own special way. TAYSTEE (CONT’D) Tell me something good. Tell me that you love me, yeah. Tell me something good. Tell me that you like it, yeah... CUT TO: ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK #1001 "Pilot" GREEN 9/20/12 4. OPENING TITLES. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK. FADE IN: 9 EXT. PIPER & LARRY’S BROWNSTONE, BACKYARD - NIGHT (NIGHT 1) 9 A messy yard on a clear fall evening, string lights; a Caja China pig roasting box is smoking. In attendance are Piper, LARRY, POLLY, and PETE. Polly is about eight months pregnant. Pete and Larry walk over to the box to sniff it. Piper and Polly are seated nearby warming themselves by a firepit. Polly has a sweater; the weather is changing from summer to fall. ANGLE ON LARRY AND PETE: Pete is drinking Porkslap Pale Ale. Larry is drinking JK's Scrumpy Cider. Snacks on the table. PETE So there is an entire pig in there. LARRY Yes. PETE For four of us. LARRY It’s a small pig. I really wanted to use the box. It was my birthday present. PETE She knows what you like. LARRY That, and she’s guilty she’s leaving. It’s a guilt pig roasting box. PETE At least you got something. I’m not getting laid for a year too, but what do I get? LARRY A baby. (CONTINUED) ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK #1001 "Pilot" GREEN 9/20/12 5. 9 CONTINUED: 9 PETE Yeah. That. But you can’t eat it. Let me see. Larry lifts the lid revealing Piggy. PETE (CONT’D) Holy shit. That’s really a pig. LARRY Isn’t it beautiful? PETE I want to fuck it. LARRY Then we’d only have the beet salad and the brussels sprouts. That’s really not enough of a going-away dinner. They both stand and stare at the pig. PETE It’s gonna be okay, Larry. LARRY I don’t know if that’s true. Beat. LARRY (CONT’D) Let’s bust out the swine. As the two men work on getting the pig out of the box, the ladies are chatting. ANGLE ON PIPER AND POLLY: Piper holds a Skrumpy, Polly, something non-alcoholic. POLLY Are we really gonna eat that? PIPER It’s thematic. POLLY You’re not serving time in Cuba. PIPER Pigs. Cops. Never mind. It’s a stretch. (CONTINUED) ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK #1001 "Pilot" GREEN 9/20/12 6. 9 CONTINUED: (2) 9 POLLY Should have served tuna. PIPER POLLY Oh, no. Cause you’re going to be eating so much of it in jail. PIPER Nice. Thanks. POLLY How the fuck are you going to jail tomorrow? PIPER Prison. Not jail. POLLY You’re missing my shower. PIPER But I got you that ridiculous stroller. POLLY Seriously? Oh my God! The one that charges your phone? PIPER Yes. It’s in the house. POLLY Okay. You can go to prison now. PIPER Polly, you know I’m sorry. POLLY I know. PIPER Remember, when you talk to the lady at Barney’s, her name is Weiner, like a glass of wine. If you call her Weener again, you’re going to blow the whole deal. I swear. She’s not cool about it. POLLY I can’t just call her cuntface? (CONTINUED) ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK #1001 "Pilot" GREEN 9/20/12 7. 9 CONTINUED: (3) 9 PIPER Go for it.
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