Issue 6, Spring 2020 et Spiritus MIT’s journal of Christian thought

beauty. spring 2020 featuring: spinning creation. why there is no meaning. being good stewards. 1 editor’s note.

Dear Reader, Spring 2020 | Issue 6 Thank you so much for reading this issue of et Spiritus. I’ll be honest, I struggled somewhat to figure out what to write for this Editor’s Note. This current issue of et Spiritus suffered from major production delays and when the time for publishing finally arrived, I was feeling somewhat disheartened. The theme of this journal is beauty, and the production delays and last-minute rush to publication seemed anything but beautiful. But then, as I searched for scriptural inspiration for this Editor’s Note, I ran across this verse: “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). This piece of scripture truly struck a chord with me, for a variety of reasons. Contact The culture we live in is obsessed with beauty. Every day we are bombarded with [email protected] advertisements, movies, music videos and podcasts all advising us on how to “glow up” and “get slayed”, how to optimize our physical beauty in a variety of ways— Website & Blog www.mitetspiritus.org endless hours at the gym, cosmetics, surgical procedures, and more. We live in a society preoccupied with beauty. But then, stepping back from the Instagram fil- Discuss with us ters, we must ask ourselves: does this production we spend billions of dollars on We look forward to hearing from our each year really represent beauty? More importantly, does it represent beauty in readers! All of our writers would be more than happy to meet with their the terms and ways God intended? A cursory glance around us would quickly prove readers individually. If there is a partic- the answer to that is no. ular piece that you would like to com- ment on, please refer to our website. So I would like to share something about beauty that I hope you ponder as you Write for MIT et Spiritus read this issue: beauty, true beauty, takes time to develop. Now in the day when an We are open to submissions of article Instagram filter or a few minutes with Photoshop can contour a face, erase scars, abstracts or artwork. Though we are or alter the shape of one’s nose, and diet pills and exercise regimens promise fast a journal of Christian thought, we do payoffs, the idea that developing beauty takes time is the last thing anyone (includ- hope to incorporate thoughtful per- spectives that are not solely Christian ing me!) wants to hear. But God’s idea of beauty is different from ours (“Man looks with the hope of better understanding at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart”) because He focuses on and promoting dialogue. TheMIT et the inner person. True beauty to Him is a heart that is aligned with His word and Spiritus reserves the right to refuse any His message. And the truth is, developing a heart for God takes time. 2 Corinthians submission. Please refer to our website 4:16 says, “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being re- for submission details. newed day by day,” implying that growing closer to God is a process that takes time Disclaimer and many lessons. This can be difficult, especially when God takes us on journeys The opinions expressed in the MIT et that seem anything but nice—“the valleys of the shadow of death”, if you will. But Spiritus are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the jour- if we are patient and let God do His work, He will make things beautiful “in His nal, its editors, or MIT. time.” And that is an idea that I held onto as this issue went into its final stages of production—that despite my foibles, God would make this issue and me beautiful Acknowledgement in His time. MIT et Spiritus is made possible by sev- eral generous donations.

I pray that this is a thought that comes to your mind when the world around you, Cover image from a photograph by your circumstances, or your own actions appear anything but beautiful. As you Dan Dill turn your heart towards God and trust Him, He will make things beautiful—in His time. Happy Reading! Sincerely,

TojumiOluwa Adegboyega, Editor-in-Chief

Towa is a senior studying Aeronautics and Astronautics. She is from Buffalo, New York, and enjoys reading, histo- ry, politics, and finding unique sets of earrings.

2 table of contents. spinning creation. so that your joy may be complete. zion perry emily cimmino 4 22

why there is no meaning. my journey to catholicism. austin wang hope chen 7 26

the monastic life. lessons in communal living. adam estes laura koemmpel 14 31

emptiness. being good stewards. ronald davis iii matthew turner 20 35 et Spiritus team.

Hope Chen, Writer Hope is a recent graduate of the Class of 2019 who stud- Richard Ibekwe, Treasurer, Designer ied Mechanical Engineering/ Biomedical Engineering. She Richard is a PhD student in Nuclear Science & Engineer- is currently in Taiwan teaching English to primary school ing. He is from the United Kingdom and enjoys reading students for a year. Hope enjoys running, making music, about and discussing domestic and foreign politics. and spending time with family and friends!

Emily Cimmino, Writer Emily is a recent graduate of the Class of 2019, course Laura Koemmpel, Writer 2 (mechanical engineering). She is currently serving as a Laura just graduated in math as a part of the undergrad- campus missionary at the University of Pennsylvania with uate Class of 2019. She’s currently working for a startup FOCUS, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students. teaching computers how to perceive indoor spaces. In her Emily loves running, dancing, exploring new places, and free time she enjoys being outdoors, reading, building spending time with family and friends! things, and finding entertaining paint color names.

Zion Perry, Writer Ronald Davis III, Writer, Designer Zion is a senior studying Biological Engineering and Ronald is a first year PhD student in the EECS depart- is a part of Cru. She loves seeing the Kingdom of God ment researching in photonics. In his free time he enjoys permeate every aspect of life, especially STEM. She video games, tennis, theology, and hiking. enjoys hiking, journaling, playing the flute, and observing katydids.

Matthew Turner, Writer Adam Estes, Writer Matthew is a junior studying Computer Science and Adam is a senior studying electrical engineering and is a Economics. In his free time he enjoys hiking, skiing, and member of the Tech Catholic Community. Besides electri- traveling. Matthew’s travels recently led him to spend a cal engineering, he enjoys studying philosophy, theology, summer in Israel, where he accidentally swallowed over 20 and Church History. edamame pods until a bewildered waitress informed him of the proper way to eat his appetizer.

Austin Wang, Writer Elena Gonzalez, Design Lead Austin is a dual-enrolled undergraduate senior and 6A Elena is a sophomore studying business analytics and M.Eng. student studying computer science, currently public policy. She loves being part of the InterVarsity com- serving as president of MIT Asian Christian Fellowship. munity, and in her free time she enjoys singing with the Outside of faith and spending time with friends, he is people on her floor, going for walks, and admiring maps. passionate about robotics and loves watching them fight each other on TV.

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Amino acid crystals (L-glutamine and beta-alanine), Justin Zoll spinning creation.

It’s a typical day in my biology research lab. within this one cell, crowding and pushing To prepare my next experiment, I pipette var- past one another as they faithfully carry out ious volumes of mostly clear, colorless liquids all my cellular processes. Right now, proteins from one tube to the next. I become so focused like myosin in my muscles are helping me to on transferring the correct volumes and fol- smile, endonucleases are fixing DNA dam- lowing a protocol that I begin to lose sight of aged merely by breathing,2 and photopsins in the sacredness of my work—for with this very my retinas are allowing me to see this page. work, I am studying creation. So I stop and re- My body is a living masterpiece, created by mind myself that within a few microliters of God the Artist to not just work but to be excel- solution, there are swarms of precious protein lently detailed and beautiful and “very good”.3 molecules swirling with energy, despite my present tiredness. This small volume I hold in How might you and I be inspired and learn my pipette tip is full of beauty and excitement! about God from these molecules that com- prise 16% of our bodies?4 To rephrase natural- I then raise my hand to eye level and try to ist Henry David Thoreau, “I went to the pro- imagine all of the proteins reacting and carry- teins because I wished to live deliberately, to ing out their work at the nanoscale. If I zoom front only the essential facts of life, and see if into one skin cell, the scene comes bursting I could not learn what they had to teach, and to life: a couple billion1 proteins are teeming not, when I came to die, discover that I had not

1 Milo, R. & Phillis, R. (2015). How many proteins are in a cell? In Cell Biology by the Numbers. 2 Markkanen, E. (2017). Not breathing is not an option: How to deal with oxidative DNA damage. DNA Repair, 59, 82-105. 3 Genesis 1:31 4 Carpenter, K., et al. (2018). Human Nutrition. In Encyclopædia Britannica online.

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lived.”5 I have found that proteins, essential protein bringing praise and glory to God. The components of our lives, can point us to God smallest and most invisible things among us and teach us much about our shared creator. can triumphantly display God’s splendor and pour forth his praise without human speech.10 Protein Folding Similarly, St. Augustine encourages his read- Protein folding, the process in which proteins ers to stop and marvel at their own bodies: attain their 3D shapes, is a highly complex and “Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of beautiful process that increases my wonder of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the God. A protein’s amino acid sequence helps long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass determine the precise molecular interactions of the ocean, at the circular motions of the and intramolecular bonds that allow proteins stars, and they pass by themselves without to fold like origami. Even just one amino acid wondering.”11 How often do we pass by our- change can distort an entire protein’s shape selves without realizing our bodies, includ- and result in disease. For example, one ami- ing every subcellular constituent, declare the no acid change of glutamic acid to valine in praise and glory of God? the protein hemoglobin causes misshapen red blood cells and thus sickle cell anemia.6 Our It seems like beauty really does lie within us proteins are designed to fold and function in every small molecule and atomic constit- with fearfully wonderful7 single-atom accura- uent. Although “the heavens are telling the cy. glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork,”12 the nanoscale also reveals God’s Although critical for function, the process of glory. Every time a researcher looks at a pro- protein folding results in an array of attractive tein structure, they are looking at God’s hand- shapes that appear innately beautiful. Amino iwork. This beauty can be enjoyed by all who acid chains snake around each other in paral- look. For the Christian, though, this onlooking lel lines (β-strands) or helical twists (α-helices), also invites adoration and worship. resulting in nano-sculptures in shapes as di- verse as barrels, butterflies, and even banan- Encouragement from Proteins as.8 Just like visual art, these elegant protein structures can inspire worship of God. It’s easy for me to fall into routines, and it’s easy for me to feel downcast. But, like the Proteins and Praise psalmist, “I will call to mind the deeds of the Lord.”13 I must choose to remember the innate Praise the Lord from the earth, beauty within every living thing, including you sea monsters and all deeps, myself and the proteins within me. Thinking fire and hail, snow and frost, about the beauty of proteins in relation to God stormy wind fulfilling his command! helps me develop a more worshipful mindset Mountains and all hills, and allows me to recenter myself on God. I’d fruit trees and all cedars! like to give you a few examples of how God has Beasts and all cattle, 9 used proteins to encourage me or inspire me creeping things and flying birds! to worship. When I think of the weather, the landscape, One beauty is the Green Fluorescent Pro- the plants, and the animals being made to tein (GFP), discovered in a jellyfish,14 that is praise the Lord, I cannot help but think of ev- commonly used as a fluorescent marker in ery atom, every cellular structure, and every biological experiments. It is made of parallel

5 Original quote from Thoreau, H. D. (1854). Walden. Boston: Ticknor and Fields: “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” 6 King, M. (n.d.). Sickle Cell Anemia. 7 Psalm 139:14 8 Noguchi, H. (2014). Two- or three-step assembly of banana-shaped proteins coupled with shape transformation of lipid membranes. EPL, 108(4). 9 Psalm 148:7-10 (RSV) 10 Psalm 19:2-4 11 St. Augustine of Hippo, Confessions. 12 Psalm 19:1 (RSV) 13 Psalm 77:11 (RSV) 14 GFP was discovered by Osamu Shimomura in the jellyfish Aequorea victoria off the coast of Washington, for which he received the 2008 Nobel Prize in Chemistry.

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β-strands that circle into a cylindrical barrel the people across MIT and the Earth worship- shape (β-barrel). When looking at the side of ping God together from the rising of the sun to GFP, the strands appear to crisscross like a its setting on the horizon,19 an encouraging re- lattice, reminding me of the Song of Songs, minder of the spiritual delight of worshipping in which the woman’s Beloved, who can be a together. metaphor for Christ, is at one point “looking through the lattice”.15 Sometimes, just looking Another time, I attended a research talk about at GFP is enough to comfort me, call that verse cellular anastasis that, to me, became a direct to mind, and remind me of how romantic analogy to the Gospel. In anastasis, dying cells God’s love is. I utilize GFP in my work, which can be revived through the work of proteins is such a joy, since the solution is not colorless like Snail.20 I was immediately reminded of but glows a highlighter yellow-green. I love Jesus’ resurrection (anastasis in the New Tes- thinking about all the tiny β-barrels swishing tament Greek21) and how our spiritually dying around in that cheerfully-bright solution. bodies can experience and also minister, like Snail proteins, the resurrecting and reviving The SNARE protein complexes are another power of Jesus. encouragement. In these complexes, α-helices on opposing cellular membranes twist snugly These are just a few examples of how proteins around each other, thus causing two mem- have revealed so much to me about God, en- branes to draw near and fuse together.16 This couraged me, and inspired me to worship. reminds me of our drawing near to God and He to us in a loving embrace until, just as the Languages of Creation membranes, we become one.17 After reading God sometimes reveals himself to me through about this beautiful cellular mechanism, my proteins, and I believe God chooses to speak only response was worshipful prayer and tears to me through proteins because it is a lan- as I kneeled in front of my biology textbook: guage I understand. What language does God “God, you made the proteins beautiful when encourage and speak to you with? Proteins? you didn’t have to!” I could scarcely compre- Proofs? Python? Find something in your stud- hend that God would create something so ies that compels this kind of worship. Perhaps exquisitely beautiful to perform the critical ask God to increase your awe and wonder of cellular process of membrane fusion—and He even the most basic truth of your field of study. was allowing me to learn about it. The process of research in any field can be a form of worship when done with the purpose Even lectures and research talks are excellent 22 opportunities to be amazed and encouraged of glorifying God, since God is Master De- by God, and for His glory to be on display re- signer, Mathematician, Scientist, Maker, and gardless of the beliefs of those present. This is Engineer. Importantly, we do not worship the proteins or whatever we may study, since they another way proteins can declare God’s glory 23 without speech.18 For example, the professor in all will pass away; we worship the Eternal one of my bioengineering lectures drew an arc One who created all those things. I pray that to represent the surface of a cell with Y-shaped the Holy Spirit may give you a fresh wonder proteins along the arc. To me, this looked like of God’s beauty revealed through His creation. a horizon line (the arc) with humans standing along it with outstretched hands (the Y’s) and Zion Perry worshipping God. I immediately thought of all

15 Song of Songs 2:9 16 Lodish, H., et al. (2016). Molecular Cell Biology (8th ed.). New York: W. H. Freeman. 17 James 4:8, John 17:20-23 18 Psalm 19:2-4 19 Malachi 1:11 20 Sun, G., & Montell, D. J. (2017). Q&A: Cellular near death experiences-what is anastasis?. BMC biology, 15(1), 92. 21 See https://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/kjv/anastasis.html. 22 1 Corinthians 10:31 23 Romans 1:25

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Kat Jayne why there is no meaning.

‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ you will eventually find purpose and reach a says the Teacher. state of perfection. Many people strive in this ‘Utterly meaningless! world for riches, for fame, for power, for high Everything is meaningless.’1 social standing, or perhaps for excellence. To what end? Security, admiration, or satisfac- These are the cries of every MIT student as tion of a life well-lived? Others strive simply they drown from the firehose of psets, exams, to make a positive difference in the world, but and projects. You’d be surprised to know that what does that really mean? your teachers say it too. Well, maybe not your MIT professors per se, but rather the teacher, I do not mean to hate on those who are striv- King Solomon of the Old Testament, one of ing to make a positive difference. It is a com- the wisest to ever live. Now while it is not cer- mendable goal to have, and I believe that part tain that Solomon was the actual author, as we of our calling as disciples of Jesus is to be sent read Ecclesiastes and reflect on life it becomes out into the world and help bring about God’s abundantly clear that Solomon has clearly love and reconciliation. I think we have to be done his research, and that we cannot ignore more critical, however, when we ask ourselves what we are all really striving for. Will trying his conclusions. to make a positive difference really change One of the deepest ironies of this world is that anything, or are we just being naive when the longer you search for meaning, the less we think it would mean something for this you find. The more you care about the state of world to be better, if it could actually be good the world, the more hopeless it all seems, and enough at all? yet you hope that if you search hard enough

1 Ecclesiastes 1:2 (NIV)

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To those currently in the midst of drinking there is nothing new under the sun. from the firehose of MIT, this question may Is there anything of which one can say, speak especially to you. When bogged down ‘Look! This is something new’? by psets upon psets upon projects upon ex- It was here already, long ago; ams, we start to question what it is all for. To it was here before our time.2 what end do we work? To what end do we live? The Greek word used in Ecclesiastes which We might hope that, even if the world is an is often translated as such is “hebel,” which endless cycle, there would still be some order literally refers to a vapor or breath. Life, and and rationality to its workings. Yet clearly we everything in it, is but a vapor, here and gone. see the world and its brokenness. Good is not Though I will use the term “meaningless” repaid with good, and evil is not repaid with here, I think “hebel” is more representative, evil. Justice in this world is broken, and logic is because life is more than just meaningless. It turned on its head. As the author writes, is fleeting. It disappears just as you try to hold onto it, as if it were never there, and just as we What is crooked cannot be straightened; try to grasp dearly the meaning of this world, what is lacking cannot be counted.3 we find that there was none on this earth to begin with. If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at Why is the world so meaningless? Ecclesias- such things; for one official is eyed by a higher tes talks about many different reasons, and one, and over them both are others higher still.4 through all of the author’s searching he finds time and time again that the things we might We celebrate and expect much out of our jus- have thought were meaningful are actually tice system, but let us be real. What we have in not. this world is not true justice. Far from it. We live in a world full of evil and things that don’t The first is ultimately that, regardless of what make sense, as much as we try to put order we do here, the world will forever go through and sense into the world. We can’t know the seasons and cycles. We like to think of the future of our actions, and we can’t expect just world as progressing in a direction, and in cause and effect. We are merely stuck in con- some ways we can indeed look at history tradictions of a world that says one thing and and see progress. Racism was much worse in then finds itself somewhere else. America several centuries ago than it is today, and yet even today we see racism, sexism, an- Following that, it is clear that working and ti-semitism and more underlying society. The seeking earthly goals and pleasures—wisdom, world has come a long way since before hunt- wealth, status, and the like—are meaningless. er-gatherer societies, but every revolution, All we find is more sorrow, more dissatisfac- every technological achievement, is at its core tion, and more contradiction. People do not the same. Human behavior is nothing new. get what they deserve, and life is not fair. Our belief systems are nothing new. Politics is nothing new. It’s not that the world doesn’t I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; change, but I think we would be misguided I refused my heart no pleasure. to believe that anything we’re facing, now or My heart took delight in all my labor, in the future, is anything truly new under the and this was the reward for all my toil. sun. Everything is part of a cycle, and every- Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done thing comes and goes in seasons. and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the Generations come and generations go, wind; but the earth remains forever. nothing was gained under the sun.5 … What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;

2 Ecclesiastes 1:5, 9-10 (NIV) 3 Ecclesiastes 1:15 (NIV) 4 Ecclesiastes 4:8 (NIV) 5 Ephesians 2:10-11 (NIV)

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The author, Solomon, had all the wealth, all Now, some believe that we can cheat death the wisdom, and all the pleasure he could ever through “legacy.” The vast majority of peo- want. He worked and he received reward for ple are never remembered after a few gener- his toil, yet even he finds that there was noth- ations. I personally remember only one of my ing waiting at the end. Life was ultimately many great-grandparents, and only because meaningless even for him. she was alive in my time. We may, though, grant that some—Aristotle, Abraham Lincoln, The real force of the author’s argument Albert Einstein—have been remembered long though lies in this. If life were eternal, may- past their deaths and could be remembered be we could make something of this life. The forever. things we did would not be for waste, and we, living here forever, could be remembered for- However, here is the interesting observation: ever and could forever enjoy the products of even King Solomon, who is as immortalized what we do. There might be hope in mankind in history as any of the others mentioned, for this idea of progress. There would be hope laments over death, which meets everyone the for us to right the wrongs of this world. But the same, and being forgotten in generations past. cold, hard truth is that, at the end of the road, He does not say that he is the exception. No there’s something called death. Death renders one escapes death, not one. Legacy is a mem- everything meaningless. The joy you found in ory, an image that we fabricate ourselves, one life, the money you made, the property you which Solomon recognizes he has no control owned, the moral or immoral life you lived, over and frankly cares nothing about, because the knowledge you gained, and the experienc- without eternity he is dead. Death is nothing, es you had, none of it matters when you die. and there is no one. An idealized or tainted Death is the ultimate equalizer, and no one is memory of him may exist, but he, the true he, spared. We claim that we just want to make a is dead and gone. That should make us stop difference, but what is difference in a world and think. What are you living for? If you are that is constantly changing, constantly forget- living for your legacy and what you leave be- ting, and constantly recycling, in a vicious cy- hind, think again. If you are tempted to focus cle of life and death? too much on what people will believe after you are dead, remember that you will be too When we combine this with the others, we dead to care. watch the picture of life get more and more dreary. We live in a world now that is vastly No one remembers the former generations, imperfect, vastly unfair, and vastly contradic- and even those yet to come will not be remembered tory. All the things we strive for, good and bad, 7 mean nothing, because in the end death takes by those who follow them. us all. Death makes us finite, and after death there is nothing. And yet even if we hoped To return to the point then of the person who that we could do something in our short, finite tries to do good: it is indeed a commendable lives, there is no hope for us alone, because and worthy objective in life, and certainly bet- the world of every generation is no different ter than doing nothing or doing harm in your than the ones before it. We are not making life. But the author of Ecclesiastes says that, progress; we’re stuck in an endless cycle, and nonetheless, all this is meaningless and a striv- humanity is never going to get out. ing after the wind. You will not fix the justice system. There will always be flaws. You can do your best, but know at the end that life will I saw that wisdom is better than folly, still be broken, life will still be contradictory, just as light is better than darkness. and the old ways will simply cycle back again. The wise have eyes in their heads, Doing good is good, but if you believe that while the fool walks in the darkness; doing good is your life’s mission and that it is but I came to realize 6 meaningful, I challenge you to really let the that the same fate overtakes them both. words of Ecclesiastes sink in, because to say that doing good is enough to make life mean-

6 Ecclesiastes 2:13-14 (NIV) 7 Ecclesiastes 1:11 (NIV)

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Snow Storm, JMW Turner, 1842

ingful is a delusion that those things will last But instead of work and the topics that are in a world we wishfully hypothesize to have conventional for MIT, I want to talk about the real order. brokenness that I’ve seen in our communities, in the church, and in the world. I recognize that this treatment of death is very curt and possibly confrontational. I want you, As I have reflected on the last semester, I have however, to truly feel the weight of the bur- seen God do many amazing things in our den that Ecclesiastes puts on its readers. As community. We have seen God bring so many it stands, this life is meaningless. Your psets wonderful freshmen into ACF, and we have are meaningless. Your exams are meaning- seen the community grow so much in terms of less. Your internships are meaningless. Your relationships with God and relationships with degrees will be meaningless. When all is said each other. And yet as I have watched the com- and done, regardless of how well you do any munity grow I have also seen many areas of of these, the same fate awaits us all, and the lack or need for growth. As much as we strive earth will go turning round and round wheth- to be the beautiful, impossible community er you had been or not, in its same state of con- God calls us to, we still fall far short of that. tradiction and meaninglessness. There are still people who feel left out in the community. There are still broken relation- While it would be natural to say that I thought ships. We still have so far to grow in the way of all of these things as I labored late into the personal holiness and living in full surrender night on my own psets, my crisis has not to God. There are many places where our love been around my career and work. If any- is imperfect, where God calls us and we turn thing, God has shown me even more through away. I spent many a night, many a conversa- Asian Christian Fellowship, my community of tion, during my junior fall semester with the brothers and sisters in Christ, what work re- people that I care so much about. And yet as ally looks like when it is surrendered to God. much as I was so grateful that God had given

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me the opportunity to be there for each per- ways of the world. God showed me how much son, I always felt the burden of the brokenness we are not fully the church that God calls us that was in each of these people. to be, and faced with all of the brokenness of the world it is of great urgency that we repent At MIT, we see still more brokenness. We see and ask for God’s forgiveness and grace. We stress over work to the point of making it an look at the Israelites in the Old Testament and idol. We see suicide. There is a lot of goodness almost laugh at the ways they so quickly forget and a lot of God, and I’ve found Him perhaps about God and turn to the ways of the world, more than I could have ever expected coming and yet we are doing just the same now. into MIT. But it is clear to me that this campus also needs so much more of God. There are As I have opened my eyes to everything that many parts of campus that do not know God, is going on in the world—as I saw the bro- and many parts that need God. The culture of kenness of the world and the innumerable MIT—this intense need to work and work and things that I have taken for granted and been work, to the point that we don’t even under- ignorant about with respect to how far we are stand why we’re doing it in the first place—is from the vision God has for us—everything almost toxic, and all of us, even Christians, felt hopeless and meaningless. What are we are pulled into this vortex. This is not to say striving for? How much would it take to fix the that work is a bad thing. Work is a very good world that we live in, this world that we care thing, and it comes from God, but the way about so dearly? When the author tells us that that we as MIT students practice work is not all is hebel, a striving after the wind, a world often healthy. It is not the kind of work God of endless cycles, a world without justice ex- wants us to do, and it sucks us down in such cept the non-discriminating death, where do a way that we sacrifice the good things of life. we even begin to do anything? We joke that at MIT we become jaded and accept a lower standard of living. Why must Some may choose to respond with ignorance. we do this, and why is this okay with people? If we do not pay attention to the signs, if we For what purpose do we slave away in this turn a blind eye toward the injustice and the way, making work the idol of our lives? As I brokenness, then maybe we can each live in and others in ACF have started to study work, our own world where these things do not ex- the lack of holiness in the work we do and the ist. In a world of post-truth, we get to choose call to be countercultural in a world pursuing how we subjectively view the world, and may- worldly things has become much more appar- be it’s easier to live if we choose to ignore just ent, and as much as we have seen God work how far we have fallen. Perhaps all of this feels powerfully in this vision for our community, so hopeless and burdening, and you want to we have a very long way to go before we could just give up, to escape. ever hope to be precisely that people He calls You may find that you cannot ignore the bro- us to. kenness, but you reject being a part of it. We Then the end of the semester came, and I went may choose for ourselves that we still believe to Urbana 2018, a global Christian missions in an all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing conference held every 3 years by InterVarsity. God, but faith for us becomes a relationship There, I felt like God took me one step further, between us and God alone. We don’t want to opening my eyes to the brokenness even be- associate with the church at large, because yond MIT, in the church and in the world. At they committed their own sins and I mine. Or- one of the morning sessions, we spent time in ganized religion is not for us, and I hold no re- reflection and lament around the ways that the sponsibility for anything the church has done. church has fallen short of that which He calls We ourselves may not be imperfect, but our us to in scripture. We see sexual abuse in the faith is somehow righteous and ought not to Catholic Church, Evangelical Christianity and be tainted with the blood of others. current politics; we see discrimination, lack Or maybe that position is not strong enough of inclusivity in the church, corrupt mega- for you. You cannot even associate with the churches, the consumer mindset in church, faith, or you cannot even understand how God and more. Whether you agree or disagree with could be so good when, not only this world, the presence of all of these, I believe it is hard but His very own people are corrupt. Perhaps to deny the ways in which we have fallen to the

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you feel like you cannot believe in a God in does not itself answer. The point is not to be this world, or you cannot even claim to believe a downer, but rather it is to help us to realize because the church is that broken. You might how real this world we live in is and to be able still believe in some sort of higher being, but to sit with that. It is for us to realize that we to claim you’re a Christian would go against are all a part of this world, whether we like it all logic of who the church is. or not, and are are all responsible, directly or indirectly, for its brokenness. Perhaps, instead of all of these options, you are on the flip side. You see this as a call to When all of us at Urbana attended that morn- action, to strive to do good and to make the ing session of lament, it was not ended with world a better place. You want to fix all of the a resolution. I don’t think I really understood brokenness, whether in your community, on it then, but I see now that leaving people your campus, or in the world. Whether or not in that suspense of the brokenness, despite you feel responsible for the brokenness, you feeling quite awful about it afterward, was a feel it is your calling and life goal to change necessary step in being able to fully address it—to see brokenness healed, justice served, the magnitude and ramifications of what we and sin eradicated. Maybe you want to do this face—the meaninglessness, the brokenness, as a Christian, or maybe you don’t believe in and the hopelessness. You have to be able to God and still see this as your life’s purpose. live in it, sit with it, so that we might know ful- ly the longing for something more. And yet, God in the big picture calls us to none of these things. None of these things are mean- When we as Christians can be truly honest ingful. You will never do enough good. You with the brokenness, we are then called to cannot ignore the brokenness. You cannot see God’s grace and to walk in it daily. There distance yourself from the church or the faith. is nothing we can do on our own to change Western culture tends to focus a lot on the in- anything of what we are living, but where our dividual, but that is a consumerist mindset. It lives are finite and made absurd by death, God is clear in scripture that faith is not meant to and His judgment is everlasting: be lived individually, but rather in communi- ty, as one body. And if you give up the faith, I know that everything God does will endure you may find life apparently more logical, but forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing where does that take you? Where does any taken from it. God does it so that people will fear of this take you? Life still ends in death. Life him. still falls back into its cycles. None of these Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; responses take real stock of the situation and 8 recognize that the world is truly meaningless, and God will call the past to account. and there is nothing we can do about it. The grace of God is His free and unmerited favor, a forgiveness and mercy we do not de- How are we called to respond then? serve. If you think about it really, as a Chris- tian, there is nothing at all that we actually Be honest with who we are and where we are. deserve. The talents and skills we have are all If you have gotten this far already, you are God’s, given to us from Him. Our very lives are already beginning that part of the journey. from Him. God owes us nothing, and we de- When we truly open our eyes to the broken- serve nothing. Yet God is so loving as to give ness, there is simply no way for us to not be us good things we don’t deserve, to entrust complicit in the ways of the world. The very us with His mission and His gifts. If the world gas we put in our cars is probably complicit were truly logical, we would all deserve pun- in the brokenness through its support of the ishment and death right now, but that’s not less-than-holy ways that that gas was proba- how God works. God chooses out of His own bly obtained. We could never hope to truly love and good will to provide the world with live in a way that is set apart from the evil and the hope of something better and something the broken, and if we cannot do that then we lasting, something that comes out of true love ought to stop running away from it or ignor- and not a system of merit and consequence ing it and face it. This is the crux of Ecclesias- that we could never satisfy. This outward ex- tes. Ecclesiastes poses a lot of questions that it

8 Ecclesiastes 3:14-15 (NIV)

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pression of God’s undeserved love for us, for kenness and not feel hopeless, but rather to our benefit, is His grace, and He offers it to us place our hope in Jesus. freely if we would accept it from Him. In all of these things, one is true for certain. Seasons change, and in your life you will en- counter both joy and pain. But what is import- The problem is that we too often think we can ant is that we do not lose sight of God, and that take things into our own hands. We believe we no matter what comes our way we do not com- can make our own choices and exact our own promise our faith. Nothing can steal the praise consequences, and that life is a matter of do- from our lips. ing our best so that we can get the best. God has taught me this year that life doesn’t work At Urbana, on the very last day, I was feeling that way. Life is not truly a system of cause the heaviness and brokenness of the world and effect at a high level. I have seen so many and its relationships. I remember feeling noth- good things come out of my own falling short, ing as that morning session went on. I was not and I’ve seen lack and frustration where I ex- frustrated or angry. I simply felt nothing as pected to reap much out of my preparedness they played a response song to the message. and ability. So much of the goodness that has It was then that it hit me that, while all these come out of the fellowship was clearly none of things could pull me down, I could not let us who are leading it. It has become increas- these things keep me from praising my God. ingly clear to me that life is not meant to be To feel nothing would be to lose God to the lived by what we do but by simply being pres- things of this world, and I found that I could ent and faithful. not let those things matter more to me than my opportunity and ability to praise the God This is what it means to “walk in the grace of my salvation. I cried out desperately for of God.” It is to every day and in everything, God that day, and though it felt then like a sig- big or small, live not as if we are the agents nificant but small blip in my life and journey of change but rather as the vessels. It is to re- with God, I have felt him say again and again, spond in honesty and faithfulness so that the “Remember when this happened to you?” To real agent of change, the God almighty, cre- this day I do not know exactly what God wants ator of Heaven and Earth, would bring about me to remember about it, except to know how goodness everlasting. It is to recognize that much God matters to me, that I cannot let go the world is not in our control and that we of Him, and He neither will let go of me. Faith are owed nothing, but rather that we let the is grounded in truth but comes to life through God of love bless what he chooses to bless and experience. This is one experience that I know place our entire lives in His hands, knowing will stay with me for a lifetime, because I know that He is the only hope this world has to be now in my most desperate and hopeless times renewed and be filled with meaning. It is to that all God needs me to do is to choose Him, recognize that the good things of this world and He will be faithful to make all things right are gifts from God, and to be aware of how and new in His time. much God blesses us out of His own love and favor and forgives us when we fail. Do not let the things of this world keep you from praising our God Almighty. Be honest I know that there is nothing better for people with who you are. Walk in the grace of God. than to be happy and to do good while they live. Live every moment not as a transaction but as That each of them may eat and drink, and find a gift from Him. And place your hopes in that satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of 9 which is lasting and eternal, for it is in those God. things which we will find meaning, and it is in God calls us to every day choose Him, in the those things that we will find beauty. most daily things, that we might rely on Him and His faithfulness in His favor. God empow- Austin Wang ers us in His grace to be able to face the bro-

9 Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 (NIV)

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Taking Christ into Custody, Pavel Popov the monastic life.

We do not often think of monasticism today, The rule of St. Benedict is a short book written but when we do, I dare say that we think of it by a man with a concrete and definite plan as with scorn. We may not know much about the to how a monk should live. Its pages are filled lives of monks, but we have a vague idea that with detailed descriptions of the times and they are chaste, whatever that word means, ways that the monks are to pray (which is to and they pray all day. They do not appear to be be done no less than seven times a day), how doing much good for society, except for those they should comport themselves around the Trappists in Belgium, whose delicious ale can monastery (in all gravity and without exces- make up for the laziness of prayer any day. sive laughter), and even in what manner they are to sleep (fully clothed and ready to wake).1 But who are these monks? If you have heard anything at all about them, you may have Though these regulations may sound harsh, heard a short Latin phrase (for all good phras- Benedict by no means thought they were. In es are in Latin) that goes something like this: fact, he saw his rule as a quite moderate way of ora et labora—prayer and work. It is often at- life. At various times Benedict relates the way tributed to St. Benedict, who is widely thought that certain other monks lived but says that he of as the Father of Western monasticism, and will not require such severity from his monks. very well captures the heart of the rule of life The early desert hermits prayed all 150 Psalms that he left for his monks, if only because the every day, but Benedict’s monks need only phrase is simple—like the life that he hoped pray them every week.2 Though others insist- monks would lead. ed that monks must never drink alcohol, Ben- edict allows for half a bottle of wine per day

1 St. Benedict, Rule of Benedict, trans. Carolinne White (London: Penguin Classics, 2008), 16, 6, 22. 2 Ibid., 18

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(considered a moderate amount in his day).3 A joyfully naked after Christ,6 I begin to think monk is to subsist on what is necessary, and of St. Francis of Assisi, who in the 12th century avoid excesses. stripped bare before the court in order to re- nounce all worldly possessions and show that Now, this phrase—ora et labora—though it is God was his sole provider.7 accurate in its simplicity, may lead to the mis- taken conclusion that a monk devotes himself These stories of fanatic disciples running off equally to prayer and work, but this is certain- naked and poor may be entertaining, but they ly not true. Prayer is the central aspect of a do not quite capture the specifically monas- monk’s life, to the point that one might say that tic poverty. A monk’s poverty is a much less prayer is his profession and his work a hobby. romantic and theatrical affair. As instructed, Work is merely something to keep him busy upon entering a monastery, he sells all that he in the idle times he is not praying. A monk’s owns and gives to the poor. But rather than life is so wholly devoted to prayer that he takes running off in a grand display of poverty, three solemn vows in order to wholly flee the stripped of even his clothes, he quietly retires world and all that may keep him from prayer. to a little house in the country, where he de- These vows, known as the evangelical coun- votes himself to living in a community with sels, bind a monk to a life of poverty, chastity, other men who are “of one heart and soul, and obedience. and no one said that any of the things which he possessed was his own, but they had every- The first vow a monk takes is one that frees thing in common.”8 him from all possessions. This is the vow of poverty. A monk finds this call to poverty pri- The vow of poverty that a monk takes strips marily in the biblical story of the rich young him of all private property. Nothing that he man: uses or possesses can be called his own. Every- thing belongs to the community and is used [A]s [Jesus] was setting out on his journey, a man only in accordance with what the leader of the ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, community allows. In this kind of poverty, he “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal represents the state of man before sin entered life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me the world. Prior to the fall of man, there was good? No one is good but God alone. You know no property; there were no possessions; there the commandments: ‘Do not kill, Do not commit was no need for such things: all had what adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, they required. The idea of such a community Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’” may be an appealing one to many in today’s And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have world. There has been much talk, and even observed from my youth.” And Jesus looking action, over the years of creating communities upon him loved him, and said to him, “You lack based upon this very principle: that all should one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the be held in common. Few communities of this poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and kind have survived over the centuries, but mo- come, follow me.” At that saying his countenance nasticism as a practice, and even some partic- fell, and he went away sorrowful; for he had 4 ular monasteries, has survived for almost two great possessions. millennia. The reason for their survival lies When I dwell on this story, I cannot help but not in the principle of forsaking the right to think of the rich young man who walked away private property, but in the principle of prayer. sad in Mark’s Gospel in contrast to the man For every aspect of a monk’s life is directed to- that Mark later mentions, who was following wards a deeper communion with God. Jesus when He was arrested; owning only a cloak, which was then seized, and he ran away I believe that the vow of chastity is the part of a naked.5 Then thinking of this man running monk’s life that many today find most foreign

3 Ibid., 40 4 Revised Standard Version – Catholic Edition, Mark 10:17-22. 5 Mark 14:51-52. 6 Mark relates that this man was following Christ when he was seized, had his cloak taken, and fled from the guards. The text does not say in which direction he fled, but certainly leaves open the possibility that he continued to follow behind the captured Christ. I choose to read it this way for the purposes of this article. 7 Thomas of Celano, Life of St. Francis, 6. 8 Acts 4:32.

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at first. This is because chastity is a word large- But for what cause does a monk give up his ly despised, yet largely unknown in its mean- sexual desires? The monk has offered up his ing. Today, the word chastity conjures up im- desires for the sake of love, but not love in gen- ages of a solitary life and repressed sexuality. eral, or the love of an abstract idea; his love is Properly understood, however, chastity is “the for a person who spoke clearly, asking nothing successful integration of sexuality within the short of his whole heart, soul, and strength. He person and thus the inner unity of man in his does this for the love of Christ. Is it not rather bodily and spiritual being” with proper refer- admirable, then, for a monk to give up sexual ence to his state in life.9 It should be clear from pleasure for the sake of love? this definition that chastity need not require celibacy, though for monks it certainly does. One may wonder, however, why monks do But is not celibacy then just a repression of this; for it seems that many live in the married sexuality? Do not monks sit white-knuckled, state and love Jesus intensely. In fact, many mourning their lack of wives and sex? Now, married Christians say that their marriage I know not many people think this explicitly, has only drawn them closer to Christ. While but it seems that this is not far from the im- it is surely true that marriage and the love of plicit beliefs of many today. Today’s society is Christ are not exclusive, it must be remem- one in which it is not uncommon to describe bered that marriage is a temporary institution. one’s sexual desires as “needs,” like the need At their wedding, a couple makes promises for food and drink. So, then what is the state “till death do us part.” When one spouse dies, of a monk? Does he unhealthily repress his so does the marriage. This is not to say that the needs by forswearing sexual pleasure? love between the spouses dies, only that their marriage ends. It has accomplished all that First, it must be understood that despite the it ever will. Jesus Himself reminds us of this desire for sex being a natural desire, it is not when He tells us that at the resurrection of the a need. For a need is something that is abso- dead, humans “neither marry nor are given in lutely required and therefore something one marriage, but are like angels in heaven.”10 The has a right to. If a man were to withhold food final state of man, therefore, is one of celibacy, from me, which I required to live and he did and the purpose of marriage, insofar as it is di- not, I would have a right to forcibly take it, yet rected to preparing the spouses for heaven, is never does anyone have a right to forced sex. to prepare them for celibacy. But still, is it not harmful to repress natural desires? Should one not seek to fulfill them in Thus, the celibacy of monks comes into sharp- natural and permissible ways? Certainly, how- er view. A monk’s commitment to celibacy is a ever, not all natural desires ought to be ful- visible sign of man’s final state. He is a glimpse filled whenever they permissibly can be. How of the kingdom of God that we are given in this many deprive themselves of food temporarily world. “There are eunuchs who have been so for the sake of diet and fitness? How many deny from birth, and there are eunuchs who have the natural desire for comfort to achieve great- been made eunuchs by men, and there are eu- ness? Furthermore, do not many permanently nuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for forswear things which they naturally desire the sake of the kingdom of heaven.”11 because they conflict with an even greater ide- al? Think of a vegetarian who gives up meat in Though a vow of chastity may at first glance protest of cruelty, a soldier who abandons his seem the most foreign to the modern sensibil- desire for safety in service of his country, or a ity, the vow of obedience is what truly stands man who gives up the unrestricted freedom of in opposition to modern man. The idea of single life for the love and stability of a wife chastity appears as a threat to our culture’s and children. These sacrifices could be done obsession with sex, but does not prove an es- with a kind of repressive spirit, but can they pecially dangerous threat. Though a celibate not also be done with joy and peace as well? may be considered an aberration, he is not Do we not admire those who are willing to de- so with respect to anything that our society prive themselves of that which they desire for holds sacred. Though a monk may give up sex the sake of a higher and nobler cause? because he holds it to be sacred, the modern

9 Catechism of the Catholic Church, trans. United States Catholic Conference (New York: Image 1997) 2337. 10 Matthew 22:30. 11 Matthew 19:12.

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man wants it to be casual because he thinks it freedom thus, if accepted fully, reduces society profane. He mistakenly believes that the casu- to a group of tyrannical children, demanding al mention of sex is profanity because its sub- what they want simply because they have de- ject is profane, rather than it being a profane cided they want it. It reduces government to a use of a holy subject. He does not realize that frantic babysitter, just trying to make sure ev- it would not even be a profanation without a eryone doesn’t kill each other. But worse than sacred subject, for that is the only thing that being a silly ideology, it is a lonely one. It is an can be made profane. No one has ever been idea that separates us from others and renders scandalized by the casual mention of shaking us incapable of love. For love, by its very na- hands or the taking of Mitt Romney’s name in ture, must limit our freedom: we are no longer vain. But, because the modern man does not free to do that which is contrary to love. Love think sex important, neither does he think cel- for another demands that we often acquiesce ibacy is. This is further reflected in the young- our will for theirs, thus placing restrictions on er generation, in which many have come to see us. We must be willing to obey the demands sex as just another activity one could try, like of love or what we possess is not love at all. It trying a new sandwich or watching YouTube may seem to some then, that each person must videos.12 make a choice as to what he will pursue: the unrestricted choices of freedom or the strict The vow of obedience, on the other hand, demands of love. So many in our society reject strikes at the very heart of modern society. We the latter out of fear of losing the former. They are today, especially those of us who live in the may even see the good of both, but feel them U.S., the inheritors of the tradition of classi- to be at odds. They fail to recognize that, in cal liberalism. This is not the liberalism of the fact, one cannot have either freedom or love current American politics, which is associated without both. One cannot love unless one does with Democrats and is opposed to conserva- so freely, and if one attempts to have freedom tive Republicans. In fact, both modern liberals without love, he will only find himself subject and conservatives take up the torch of classi- to the whims of a world wholly indifferent to cal liberalism in different ways. Liberalism, in him. So just as love must of necessity be free to the form I wish to discuss, is the idea that free- be true, so too must freedom be the freedom to dom is the highest good to be achieved in civil love if it hopes to avoid the slavery of solitude. and personal society. It states that there ought to be as few restrictions on choice as possible Now here, we find the reason why the vow of and that a choice is justified by its being freely obedience is such a contradiction of our cul- chosen, with the consent of all involved. The ture and why it is so necessary for the monk. role of government, therefore, ought to be to Because modern society is so steeped in an ex- ensure the most freedoms and choices for its altation of the free choice of the will, fearing to people, while keeping them from interfering restrict a person’s choices beyond what is nec- with the freedoms of others. The highest pur- essary, the vow of obedience is a direct con- pose of the human person is to decide one’s tradiction of the heart of modern society. The own fate and the meaning of one’s own life, monk offers up his own will for the sake of the and the highest obligation on a person is not one he loves. He vows obedience to a superior, to interfere with the freedom of others. Liber- an “abbot” or “father” who cares for him and alism underlies much of our modern political acts in the place of Christ Himself, the object and social discourse. It manifests itself in our of his love. But why obedience to a man? Is not idealization of independence, self-sufficiency, obedience to Christ enough? The obedience and rebellion against authorities that limit our to a man here is in itself obedience to Jesus. freedom of choice and self-expression. Both St. Paul and Christ command Christians to be obedient to each other and also to obey This liberal idea of freedom unrestricted from those authorities set above us, both secular any judgment of the way it is used, however, is and religious, for all authority is given from quite a silly one. It makes the highest justifi- God.13 In order to truly live as a community, it cation for an action to be “Because I want to!” is clear from experience that every communi- which is the justification most commonly pre- ty must have a leader. Thus, in a radical sign of ferred by toddlers and tyrants. Such a view of

12 Tara Bahrampour, “’There really isn’t anything magical about it’: Why more millennials are avoiding sex,” The Washington Post, August 2, 2016. 13 See Matthew 23:2, Romans 13:1-2, Hebrews 13:17, Titus 3:1.

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total commitment to the authority of God, the mands prayer and assures us of its efficacy.17 monk wholly submits himself to the abbot as And so, I sincerely believe that the prayers of God’s representative. Once again the life of the monks, and their female counterparts known monk serves as a sign. By his very life, he wit- as nuns, play a vital part of both the life of nesses to the otherworldly nature of the love of the Church and the world. If it is true that God, the final state of man in God’s kingdom, the blood of the martyrs is the seeds of the and the complete love of God with one’s whole Church, then it may be said that the prayers of mind, heart, and strength. monks and nuns are the roots, without which a strong wind may just blow us all away. I have Still, to think of the monk as only a sign of a slight fancy, or possibly a dreadful fear, that what is to come is to miss the importance of that day monks cease to pray, the sun shall not what he actively does for the Church, what he rise, all plants shall wither and die, and all hu- does for the entire world even. A monk is not manity shall be beset by every temptation of some ideal form of humanity to be placed in a hell. Possibly I exaggerate too much, but our museum and admired. He is a soldier waging world could use some exaggeration of spiritual war against thrones and dominions, against matters. all the powers of hell.14 He processes into the chapel for morning prayer with all the gravity Now I have painted a strange, though certain- of an infantryman preparing for battle and re- ly incomplete, picture of a monk. He is a man sists the temptation towards acedia15 with the who has given up everything, but without any desperation of a man fighting for his life. For pomp and circumstance. He is a sign of man monks in their prayers and striving for virtue both before the Fall and after his resurrection. wage spiritual warfare against Satan. The ear- He is a sign of contradiction to challenge our liest Christian ascetics attempted to do battle society’s most dearly held beliefs about who with the devil in the desert; for that is where we are. He is a warrior, fighting to guard all Christ encountered him. St. Athanasius re- humanity from the fearful assaults of hell, and cords the battles between St. Antony of Egypt, yet, despite all this, one does not find anything an early desert hermit, and various demons, extraordinary to look at in a monk besides his whom he says are terrified by the devotion, odd clothing. He rises early in the morning poverty, purity of monks. St. John Cassian, a and gathers seven times a day to pray with his 4th–5th century monk, writes that a monk, in brother monks. He works in those idle hours his battles against his own sinfulness, battles when prayer is not performed audibly. He again the demons which draw humanity into ends his day in silence and goes to rest early vice.16 to repeat the same schedule again. Among the greatest of monks was one who exemplified Now, I am aware that spiritual battle with that simple way of life: St. Bede the Venerable, demons seems a fantastic and unbelievable who one day woke up with the knowledge that thing, but those who have spent many hours that day he would die. With this knowledge, in prayer can attest that at times, there is he did what any good monk would do: He fol- no better way to describe it than as a battle, lowed his daily routine to the letter, allowing whether that be against demons or oneself. little to no variation in his daily schedule.18 He Furthermore, Christians cannot discount the had lived each day as if it was his last. idea that the constant prayer of monks is doing something, for Christ Himself constantly com- Adam Estes

14 See Ephesians 6:10-20, Colossians 2:15. 15 Spiritual laziness. 16 St. Athanasius, “Life of Antony”, trans. Carolinne White, in Early Christian Lives (New York: Penguin Books, 1998), c. 5-7, 9, 30; John Cassian, “Insitutes,” trans. C.S. Gibson, in Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, vol. XI, ed. Philip Schaff and Henry Wace. (Buffallo: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1894.), book 5; In this section, I am greatly indebted to the influence of Louis Bouyer’s Introduction to the Spiritual Life, trans. Mary Perkins Ryan (Notre Dame: Christian Classics, 1961), Ch. 8, upon my views of monastic spirituality. 17 See Matthew 6:6, 21:2; Mark 9:29, 11:24, Luke 10:2, 11:5-13, 18:1-8. 18 Cuthbert, “Cuthbert’s Letter to Cuthwin”, trans. J.E. King, in Bedae Opera Historica, (Cambridge: Harvard University, 1962), xxvii-xxxv.

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One day emptiness. I enter a room with other Christians to worship But yet again… …I feel nothing The words are true, but my heart does not resonate Is communal worship supposed to make you feel worse? What’s the point of continuing to sing? Am I the only one? But that day God spoke to me: Does He promise good feelings? Must I experience that ‘God high’? Of course not, otherwise worship would be a transaction… …exchanging praise for neurochemicals How could I have not seen this before? Such an obvious conclusion, God’s truth is always clear in hindsight Encouraged, I press on worshipping, regardless of emptiness Alas, It is easy to love and praise when I feel like it But it is when I don’t feel like it… …that I have the greatest opportunity to show love To lash out into the emptiness To give all of my heart, soul, strength, and mind in the face of emptiness or pain, regardless of circumstances This is true worship. Ronald Davis

20 Issue 6, Spring 2020

First direct image of a black hole, captured by an international team of astronomers, including MIT scientists at the Haystack Observatory. April 2019.

21 MIT et Spiritus so that your joy may be complete.

In the spring semester of sophomore year, I says in John 10:10, “I came so that they might was at a restaurant eating Vietnamese food have life and have it more abundantly”, and in with Rachel and Sabrina. I loved spending John 15:11, “I have told you this so that my joy time with these two women—FOCUS1 mis- may be in you and your joy may be complete.” sionaries, whose full-time job was to invite I had heard about the idea of Christian joy, college students into a relationship with God but wasn’t exactly sure what ‘abundant life’ or and to accompany them on their faith journey. ‘complete joy’ looked like—until witnessing They were some of my biggest role models at the life of the missionaries. I started asking MIT, modeling a joyful and virtuous life and myself: why don’t I possess that same joy, and pushing me to do the same. As we ate our where can I find it? lunch, we laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. But one moment of the conversa- The highlight of the Legacy conference was a tion has stuck in my memory—Sabrina asked, night of Eucharistic Adoration, during which with her seemingly mischievous but loving Jesus in the Eucharist is on the altar, gazing smile, “Would you ever consider becoming a at us face to face. During this time of prayer FOCUS missionary?” and worship, I opened my heart to Jesus and asked him this question that had been on my I laughed. While I admired the missionaries heart—If you really love me, show me how and believed strongly in their mission, their I can find this joy that you promise. In this job wasn’t for me. I was on the road to being moment, Sabrina’s question resounded in my a successful mechanical engineer—I would be mind. “Would you ever consider becoming a crazy to sacrifice all of my hard work at MIT FOCUS missionary?” Oh shoot, I thought. I to be a full-time missionary. Although I knew knew it was no longer an invitation from Sa- Sabrina meant well, this idea was nonsense. brina; it was an invitation from my creator Himself. A year later, in the spring of my junior year, I was thriving at MIT, loving my classes and I seriously considered this invitation for the working closely with FOCUS as a student first time, and I was terrified. I wrote a long leader. As the time came to begin thinking list of all my fears and reasons why I should about post-graduation plans, Sabrina’s ques- not become a missionary—I had lots—and tion loomed in my mind, and I continued to presented the list to Jesus the next day in the dismiss it. chapel. Although Jesus’ call to “Be not afraid” resounded in my mind, I still had many rea- In February that semester, I had the opportu- sons to fear. nity to attend my first FOCUS national confer- ence, “Legacy”. I travelled to Kansas City with I returned to campus after the conference, my sorority sister Hope, and two missionar- feeling renewed in my faith but afraid and ies Rachel and Lisa. We joined hundreds of confused about the call I had received. Im- Greek college students from across the nation mersed once again in the engineering world to learn how to live Catholic values in soror- at MIT, I put the question out of my mind. ity and fraternity life and lead our brothers Engineering didn’t seem to offer me ‘abun- and sisters to do the same. There, I was able to dant life’, but it was good enough to keep me meet so many more college students who had happy. I successfully ended my junior year also been accompanied by missionaries to the and embarked on an adventure to Minnesota conference. Before the conference, I only knew for a summer internship. On paper, it was my the few missionaries that had been assigned to dream job—working as a mechanical engi- MIT and the scope of their impact on our cam- neer on medical device design projects—and pus, but being at the Legacy conference pro- I really enjoyed it. I loved living in Minnesota, vided a larger scope of the impact of FOCUS. exploring with new friends, having free time without psets—a taste of what life could be I finally began to put my finger around why like after MIT. There was a possibility of re- I loved spending time with the missionaries turning to this company full-time after gradu- so much—their joy was unparalleled! Jesus ation, and I was excited about that. Every time

1 The Fellowship of Catholic University Students.

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the thought of FOCUS popped into my mind, applying for FOCUS that I intentionally tried I forced it back out. I believed I could ignore to avoid the recruitment team when they vis- God’s plan for my life because I had a perfect ited MIT—and ran into them anyway several plan of my own. times. Despite my efforts to keep God confined to But Rachel, as the loving and authentic friend a small box in my life, He continued to show she is, knew that I wasn’t being honest with up. He gave me opportunities to speak about myself in making these excuses. She reminded my Catholic faith with friends and coworkers me of my identity as His beloved daughter, and and invite them to Mass—and I loved these encouraged me to spend more time with Him moments. Looking back now, it’s clear that He in prayer. So every day for the first few weeks was revealing to me my missionary heart in of the semester, I went to visit the “Jesus clos- the smallest of ways. Although I tried to resist et” in the basement of the MIT chapel, where His plan, He continued using me as a vessel for the Catholic community keeps the Blessed the people I encountered. He is a gentle Father. Sacrament in a tabernacle. I went reluctantly at first, sometimes unsure what to say, and so Returning to campus for senior fall, I began to often sat in silence. I asked God to reveal to me apply for grad schools, fellowships, and full- His plans, and to give me the grace to surren- time positions for post-graduation, which was der myself to His will. quite a load of work. The deadline to apply for FOCUS was also approaching, and when Ra- Meanwhile, I continued to prepare my appli- chel asked if I’d be applying, I responded with cations for fellowships and grad schools. Writ- a definitive ‘no’. Having fallen away from my ing personal statements required quite a bit of faith over the summer, I had convinced myself ‘soul-searching’—looking back at my life until that I was definitely not fit for missionary life. I then, finding the common threads through my believed I was unworthy and insufficient. Plus, personal and academic endeavors, and look- I had perfect plans for my career in the med- ing forward to my goals for the future. I wrote ical device industry, and FOCUS would only about my dreams of pursuing a career as a get in the way. I was so convinced I wouldn’t be medical device engineer in order to save lives

23 MIT et Spiritus

through technology. But I knew deep down Him, it became clear that I needed to at least that I was suppressing the core of my identi- apply for FOCUS. Although still facing many ty and my mission on this earth—not only to fears, I felt extremely drawn to missionary life save lives, but to save eternal lives—to save and increasingly open to it. While writing my souls. application, I heard the voices of those who be- lieved it was imprudent to sacrifice the peak of As I began rediscovering this mission, my my career to be a missionary. But a passage in eyes were reopened to the urgency of saving Matthew 10 kept coming to mind: “You will be souls, and the hunger for love on the college hated by all because of my name, but whoev- campus. I witnessed my peers longing for au- er endures to the end will be saved...Therefore thentic friendships and meaningful relation- do not be afraid of them.” Ultimately, I needed ships and being left unsatisfied by what the to fix my eyes on God’s will and not anyone world offered. From conversations around Fall else’s. Career Fair time, I realized most students at MIT believe their identity lies in their worldly After submitting my application, I surren- success—grades, internship offers, and lead- dered myself and asked Him to guide me to ership positions. His plan. I was soon invited to FOCUS Inter- view Weekend in Philadelphia, where I was in- I had believed these same lies until the mis- spired by all the missionaries and other appli- sionaries reminded me that I belong to God, cants and convicted of the mission. During a not anything in the world. I needed to share time of prayer over the weekend, I looked back this message with other students. Everything at the list of fears that I had written down in the world teaches us is oriented to ‘success’ my journal at Legacy, and realize those fears and ‘happiness’ in this earthly life, but ulti- no longer had power over me. For the first mately this is nothing compared to eternal time, I understood the truth in the passage in life—and it’s incredibly hard to keep our eyes 1 John 4: “There is no fear in love, but perfect fixed on eternity amidst this crazy earthly life. love drives out fear.” In surrendering myself But as C.S. Lewis writes, “If heaven and hell to the Father and allowing myself to love and exist, nothing else matters; if heaven and hell be loved, He had slowly cast out all my fears. don’t exist, then nothing matters.” The mis- In one of the talks about discernment over the sionaries oriented themselves toward heaven weekend, I learned that a call from God is al- and taught students to do the same. ways accompanied by the desire and the gift of courage, which He had certainly given me During this time of confusion, God continued in my discernment of FOCUS. My prayers for to reveal to me my missionary heart. St. Irenae- clarity continued to be answered, and it be- us said, “The glory of God is man fully alive,” came clearer and clearer where He was calling so in my discernment process I paid attention me. to the moments in which I felt fully alive. Hope and I had decided to start a Bible study for our About a week later, I was sitting in the chap- sorority, expecting a handful of sisters to be el in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. My interested, and unsure how it would turn out. phone rang, and it was a number from Penn- But God had awesome plans for our sorority, sylvania. I knew it was the phone call I had and soon we had sixteen sisters in the Bible been waiting for from the FOCUS recruitment study! In the moments in which I was leading team with the verdict after my interview. My my sisters closer to Christ, I felt fully alive. phone lock screen at the time was a verse from There was nothing more beautiful to me than the Gospel of Mark: “Take courage! Get up! watching beloved friends encounter the love He is calling you.” As I stared at my ringing of their Father and start a relationship with phone, this verse seemed ironically fitting for Him. At the same time, Hope was considering this moment. I stepped outside the chapel and to enter the Catholic Church, and I was privi- answered the phone to find out that I was be- leged to accompany her in this process, redis- ing offered the job as a FOCUS missionary. covering my own faith alongside her. These God had opened all the doors to get me to this moments, too, made me feel fully alive. place. I was almost certain it was His will, and I was incredibly excited. These moments were answers to my prayer for God to reveal His will to me. After continued Following a few more weeks of prayer and dis- prayer and rebuilding my relationship with cernment, I accepted the offer. I felt like I was

24 Issue 6, Spring 2020

Emily (far right) with some of her sorority sisters being offered a job from God Himself, and I professors and industry managers about faith, felt so blessed. Looking back over the past which I never anticipated. Although becom- year, it is clear that God was planting seeds ing a missionary after MIT is not a common in my heart leading up to this decision. It re- path, God has shown me that my engineering minded me of a quote hanging on my wall at background and my time at MIT were not ir- home: “Every experience God gives us, every relevant to this mission, but were the perfect person He puts into our lives, is the perfect preparation for it. preparation for the future that only He can see.” He was leading me closer to FOCUS in Ask God how He’s calling you to be a mission- every moment, through the highs and the ary in your daily life, and if He’s calling you on lows. Over the entire discernment process, a radical mission, do not be afraid to respond God was so patient with me and proved His with complete trust. He is a good, good Father faithfulness. He taught me how to trust in His and wants to offer you abundant life. promises rather than try to fully understand the path ahead. With this attitude, every day “The world offers you comfort. But you were not is an adventure. made for comfort –you were made for greatness.” – Pope Benedict XVI After saying ‘yes’ to being a missionary, God has blessed me with so many opportunities to live my mission, especially through en- Emily Cimmino counters that would not have been possible without His grace. I’ve started to talk to my

25 MIT et Spiritus

St Peter’s Basilica, Luis Núñez my journey to catholicism.

“It is impossible to be just to the Catholic Church. During my junior year at MIT, my Catholic The moment a man ceases to pull against it he friend Emily and I signed up for a half mara- feels a tug towards it. The moment he ceases thon together. We had extended conversations to shout it down he begins to listen to it with on our long training runs, sometimes discuss- pleasure. The moment he tries to be fair to it he ing faith—how we viewed God, how He was begins to be fond of it.”—GK Chesterton working in our lives, what struggles we were working through. Seeing Emily’s passion for “What type of Christian are we?” Learning God, I realized for the first time that a Catholic about Christianity in seventh grade World could be “on fire for Jesus.” History, I only understood that I was by de- fault not Catholic. Years later, as a non-denom- While the majority of our beliefs lined up inational Christian at MIT involved with Cru, and were centered around Christ, together we I had internalized the many “rumors” I heard asked many “why’s” and explored the different about Catholics throughout the years, includ- perspectives across Christianity. I agreed to ing that they worship Mary and saints, believe attend a Catholic Mass with Emily at the MIT they need to work their way into heaven, and Chapel if she would attend a non-denomina- have their sins forgiven by men whom they call tional service at Cambridge Community Fel- priests. I believed that Catholics had added lowship Church (CCFC) with me. At my first too many traditions throughout the years and Mass, I was completely lost. I couldn’t under- turned Christianity into a “religion” instead of stand how the entire congregation knew what a “relationship” with Christ, while Protestants to say, and when, and why there was so much had shed the obsolete practices and traditions standing, kneeling, and sitting. The seemingly and returned to the heart of Christianity. Con- stiff and formal structure bewildered me, and tent with just being Christian, I had no inter- left me relieved I wasn’t Catholic and grateful est in looking into Catholicism. that I did not have to attend Mass regularly.

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Outside of runs, Emily and I shared nuggets “fair” attitude towards exploring it with an of Christian encouragement with each other. open mind. One night, she shared a short YouTube video by Father Mike Schmitz called “What’s Your When Brandon joined the Catholic Church Bedtime?” about how going to bed can be a that Easter, I could tell he wanted me also to daily act of faith and spiritual exercise. Con- become Catholic. Still feeling too unknowl- victed to be more mindful about my bedtime, edgeable about the faith, I agreed to do my I sent the video to my boyfriend, Brandon, research over the summer and also attend a unaware that one of the “recommended for doctrine class about the Catholic faith.2 When you” videos called “Why Be Catholic and Not we broke up shortly afterwards (for unrelated Just Christian?” would throw him into a crisis. reasons), I was suddenly freed from any com- Despite desperately not wanting to convert, mitment to look into Catholicism. Neverthe- Brandon decided to start learning about Ca- less, the beauty of Catholicism continued to tholicism in pursuit of the truth. Alarmed, I draw me in. Without Brandon as an incentive frantically googled anti-Catholic arguments to consider joining the Catholic Church, it be- and sought out my ex-Catholic friends’ opin- came clear there was a deeper reason motivat- ions to resolve his crisis. As Brandon became ing me to independently pursue Catholicism. more sympathetic to Catholicism and we quarreled, I found myself questioning some of When summer started, I had more time to my beliefs and considering some of his argu- freely explore Catholicism. I looked further ments for Catholicism. into controversial topics and learned both the Protestant and Catholic perspectives. Every Seeing that I had many questions about Ca- Sunday, I went to both Mass and regular Prot- tholicism, Emily and two MIT FOCUS1 mis- estant church service, comparing and con- sionaries prodded me to attend a Catholic trasting. As I continued searching, it seemed conference in February 2018. The entire week- that Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta began to end, I picked their brains on many questions “stalk” me, as the FOCUS missionaries would about Catholicism. How does salvation work put it. for Catholics? Why pray to Mary and saints? Why trust in an infallible Pope? What is pur- Right before the end of the spring semester, gatory? In the process, I realized how little I Emily shared with me a quote from Mother actually knew about Catholicism, in contrast Teresa—“I am a little pencil in the hand of a to how much I assumed I knew. At the con- writing God, who is sending the world a love ference, a priest gave a “Teaching Mass” and letter. He does the thinking. He does the writ- explained every part of the service, from the ing. He does everything and sometimes it is re- meaning of the incense to the purpose of cer- ally hard because it is a broken pencil and He tain phrases. All the phrases in the liturgy has to sharpen it a little more.” This resonat- come directly from or have roots in the Bi- ed with me so deeply that I included the first ble and early Christian writings. Celebrating half of this quotation in my medical school Mass immediately afterwards, I felt like my essays. Over the summer, I decided to volun- eyes were opened to the beauty and depth of teer at Gift of Love, a hospice specifically for Mass, and I was moved to tears while kneeling homeless men with AIDS. To my surprise, the and worshipping before the King. hospice was operated by nuns of the Mission- ary of Charity, the order started by Mother Returning from the conference with a more Teresa, dedicated to providing “wholehearted informed view of Catholicism, I was even free service to the poorest of the poor.” Every more conflicted over how it fit with my prior Saturday, I was inspired by how these nuns beliefs. I reached out to Cru staff members and lived out their faith and did small things like my church’s pastor and essentially asked them mopping the floor, changing adult diapers, why they weren’t Catholic. To my surprise, and feeding bedridden patients with great joy they did not voice any vehement oppositions and love. They exemplified the ideal of being to Catholicism. Afterwards, I thought care- a Christian first and a healthcare provider sec- fully about their answers, but stopped trying ond, an important lesson for me as an aspiring to resist Catholicism, rather adopting a more physician. Many of the nuns knew Mother Te-

1 Fellowship of Catholic University Students. 2 Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA)—a half-year long class about the Catholic faith that is also a requisite for joining the Church.

27 MIT et Spiritus

resa personally, and encouraged me to learn ever I visit St. Clements, I marvel at the stark about her life, which brought me to tears on contrast between the peace and calm inside multiple occasions.3 Spending my Saturdays the church and the hectic and fast-paced life with these nuns and witnessing the simple in Boston. Likewise, spending time with the joy and depth of their love for Christ and each Lord is a nice break from the chaos and noise other was the highlight of my summer. from the rest of our days.

As I continued to be drawn into the rich tra- Spiritual Exercises and Prayers – Catholics ditions and sacraments of the Church, I im- have a vast resource of spiritual exercises and mersed myself in the Catholic community back disciplines that have helped me grow spiritu- at MIT when school started again. I started go- ally. For example, “lectio divina” and “Ignatian ing only to Mass on Sundays, became involved contemplation” are ways to read and pray with with the MIT Tech Catholic Community, scripture. The “daily examen” is a way to look joined the choir, and continued to ask ques- back on the day and reflect on God’s presence tions. Throughout this discernment process, within it. The rosary is a way to meditate on I’ve felt a sense of homecoming and peace as I the different stages of Jesus’s life. There are made little steps closer to the fullness of truth many beautifully written prayers, some of my and beauty in the Catholic Church. Now, I am favorites which include the Litany of Trust, excited to join the Church this Easter, with Litany of Humility, and the serenity prayer. Mother Teresa as my confirmation saint. I en- These prayers teach me to pray better than courage you to explore the Catholic Church I would otherwise pray, similar to how Jesus with me. Even if there are things you don’t taught the Apostles to pray the Lord’s Prayer agree with, you may be surprised with what (Our Father). you learn, and there is love, light, and beauty in whatever path you go down. Examination of Conscience and Confes- sion – As a freshman, I distinctly remember ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ discussing the Ten Commandments with an upperclassman, noting that I didn’t regularly Beautiful Gems and Gifts of the Catholic worship idols or murder people... Yet, reading Faith through the probing questions on “10 Com- mandments Exam for Young Adults”4 helped The following is an overview of a few personal me realize the broader scope of the command- highlights of Catholicism. Some of these gems ments. For example, I had only considered are not unique to Catholicism and are true of “stealing” in terms of taking physical posses- other forms of Christianity, but I have been sions from neighbors or shoplifting, but now pleasantly surprised by how beautifully and realize that both slacking off at work and spir- coherently they are knit together in the Cath- itual laziness are forms of stealing time, from olic Church. employers and from God respectively. Before Jesus left, he gave his apostles the ability to Eucharistic Adoration – I was under the im- forgive sins (Matthew 18:18), a gift He intends pression that Catholics did not spend alone for us to use. I appreciate how regularly exam- time with Jesus, commonly known as “quiet ining my conscience, confessing ways I’ve fall- time” by Protestants. But when Emily invit- en short, and hearing the Father’s forgiveness ed me to Adoration for the first time, I was over and over can bring so much growth and surprised to find 10–15 Catholics in the MIT healing. chapel on a random weekday, praying silent- ly, journaling, reading the Bible, kneeling Daily readings and Daily Mass – Every day, and just being in the presence of the Lord (in the readings at Mass consist of a passage the form of the Eucharist, consecrated com- from the Old Testament or the parts of the munion bread, displayed in the front of the New Testament other than the Gospels, a re- chapel). Catholics have regular set times and lated psalm, and a selection from one of the places for opportunities to pray with the Lord. Gospels. The daily readings cycle through Some churches, like St. Clements in Boston, most of the Bible every three years, and are are open 24/7 for perpetual Adoration. When- synchronized worldwide. There’s something

3 Recommended reading: “Mother Teresa of Calcutta: A Personal Portrait” by Fr. Leo Maasburg. 4 “10 Commandments Exam for Young Adults” by Fr. Stan Fortuna.

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money, freedom, or sex to be happy, despite our world indicating otherwise. I also find vocational discernment beautiful: because remaining celibate for life is a real possibility, marriage is not just a default. Instead of just approaching marriage as a question of “whom should I marry?” Catholics are called to step back and ask “should I get married?” In the process, they more fully understand what marriage is—a mission just as important as religious life. Mother Teresa once said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”

Respect for Human Life – Catholics proclaim that all human life is sacred and aim to pre- serve the dignity and intrinsic worth of each person, from conception to natural death. In volunteering with the Missionaries of Charity over summer, I witnessed how the nuns treat- ed each homeless, AIDS-stricken, and dying patient as “Jesus in his most distressing dis- guise.” With the utmost love and care, they in- formed me they were “preparing each person to go home to the Father.” The Catholic Church has also taken a very strong stance on issues that threaten the value of human life, such as the death penalty, euthanasia, and abortion. Going into medicine, I appreciate how these Pope Francis leading Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament stances are based on love and respect for the individuals made in the image of God.

beautiful about being able to attend Mass any- Mary – I used to be unsettled and confused by where in the world and find fellow Catholics why Catholics hold Mary in such high regard, there reading the same passages, pointing considering the Bible doesn’t say much about to the unity and universality of the Catholic her. Reading more has helped me connect the Church. Daily Masses bring more meaning dots between the Old and New Testaments and to “give us this day our daily bread” and helps appreciate her significance and beauty. For ex- against compartmentalizing Jesus to just a few ample, in ancient Israel, it was not the king’s hours on Sundays. As Catholic catechist Jason wife who reigned as queen, but the king’s moth- Evert put nicely: “Daily Mass is for people who er.5 The queen held real royal authority, and have nothing better to do… which is all of us citizens of the kingdom would present their because none of us have anything better to petitions to her, knowing she would present do than to spend time with the Creator of the them to her royal son, such as with Bathsheba universe.” and King Solomon: “Make your request, my mother; for I will not refuse you.” (1 Kings 2:20) Religious Life and Discernment – Previous- ly, I thought nuns and monks were antiquated Taking this into account, Catholics honor (not artifacts of the Middle Ages, and that celiba- worship) Mary as queen in Christ’s kingdom, cy was pointless and arbitrary. After realizing and ask her to pray for them, much as I might celibate religious orders still exist, I’ve come ask my mom to pray for me. to appreciate how countercultural they are Saints – In the Apostle’s Creed, the “commu- in surrendering their entire lives to Christ. In nion of saints” refers to “a fellowship between taking vows of poverty, obedience, and chasti- Christians living and dead.” Saints are ordi- ty, they are living proof that one doesn’t need

5 Love Unveiled, by Edward Sri.

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nary (but holy) men and women in heaven— Church. Instead of “starting from scratch” individuals who have come before us, faced with the Bible every time, I see great value in and overcome the same temptations, and standing on the shoulders of giants, on two successfully lived out a Christ-centered life. thousand years of insights by theologians and As our friends in heaven, they pray for and Christian thinkers. At the Last Supper, Jesus encourage us as we carry our cross, as Christ prayed for his Church to be unified, “that they called us to do. They also reveal the tremen- may be one” (John 17:21). Amazingly, the Cath- dous diversity of the church, ranging from olic Church has withstood the test of time for the prolific writers and leaders of the Church two thousand years, suggesting to me it is the like John Paul II, popular party-goers like Pier Church Christ founded, that “the gates of hell Giorgio, advocates for the poorest of the poor shall not prevail against.” (Matthew 16:18). like Mother Teresa, and even the “remarkably average” like Chiara Badano. These aforemen- tioned spiritual role models who lived in the past century demonstrate how just one person ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ living for Jesus can make a difference in this Resources day and age. Learning from them, we are all called to radically live out our faith and pur- If you are curious, Father Mike Schmitz has sue holiness. Saint Catherine of Siena once excellent short YouTube videos explaining dif- said, “Be who God meant you to be and you ferent aspects of Catholicism. The book Love will set the world on fire.” Unveiled by Edward Sri presents an overview of the Catholic faith, while the book Born Fun- One Holy, Catholic, Apostolic Church – I damentalist, Born Again Catholic by David Curie used to think the only way to gain insight specifically addresses common concerns Prot- about Christianity was to read and interpret estants have against Catholicism. If you prefer the Bible, with guidance by the Holy Spirit and a more personal format, the local priests are reason. To an extent I agree, but this alone of- happy to chat or see you at an RCIA class. Feel ten leads to many different and conflicting -in free to also reach out to me at hopechen723@ terpretations and understandings. Instead of gmail.com. just relying on personal revelations about the faith, Catholics look to traditions passed down Hope Chen by early Christians and to the authority of the

30 Issue 6, Spring 2020

A room in pika lessons in communal living.

If you were to take a walk some evening and now makes a sort of wallpaper. head northwest from Simmons Hall, you soon find yourself leaving the industrial buildings This house is called pika, and I spent last sum- of tech companies and MIT labs and entering mer at this ILG2 living, cooking, and working a neighborhood of nice, normal residential alongside 30 other students. Although pika houses. But if you walk just a few blocks more, isn’t a Christian community, I found while you’ll find a house that is most definitely not a living there that the communal nature of the normal residential house. Every picket in the house culture surprisingly similar to descrip- picket fence is a different color, and three sto- tions of the early Christian church, as de- ries of roof decks rest above an unconvention- scribed in the book of Acts in the Bible. In the al but inviting porch filled with couches, Hal- narrative of the Bible, the book of Acts comes loween decorations, and (more often than not) right after the stories about Jesus. The Gospels a friendly black cat, all lit by the warm glow of detail how Jesus taught and performed signs a repurposed stoplight. and miracles, how the religious leaders of the day crucified him, and how Jesus came back If you ring the doorbell, I can almost guar- from the dead and appeared to his disciples. antee that someone will invite you in, where But the book of Acts comes after all of this. By you’ll find a giant living room of many couch- the book of Acts, Jesus has ascended back into es and two large n+1-able1 tables. The walls are heaven and the disciples are left trying to fig- covered with everything from sharpied po- ure out what to do next. The Christian church ems, articles of clothing, murals of cartoons, had previously existed as a group of a few and resident-made doodles of monsters. In hundred people led by Jesus. But now literal- some places there isn’t even a wall, just a sheet ly thousands were believing, and the original of clear plastic covering the pipes behind. For disciples couldn’t be with everyone at once. As about a year, people have been stapling a par- a result, the first Christian communities were ticular page of a magazine to the ceiling, and it formed. For a picture of what these commu-

1 n+1 is a saying popular in pika and Next House referring to the mathematical method of induction. The idea is that at a giant circular table with n people, you can always fit n+1 people. By induction, there is always room for one more friend at the table :) 2 Independent living group.

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nities looked like, we can look at this passage fridge is out of tofu,” or “the house needs re- from Acts 4:32-–35: pair work done,” it’s, “We need to buy more tofu,” or “We didn’t correctly seal the roof Now the full number of those who believed deck when it was painted, and we’re going to were of one heart and soul, and no one said fix that this weekend.” Even when things were that any of the things that belonged to him done many years previous, when the house was his own, but they had everything in com- was completely different people, residents still mon. And with great power the apostles were often talk in terms of “we,” as if the commu- giving their testimony to the resurrection nity isn’t merely a collection of people, but an of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon enduring culture grown over time. Almost all them all. There was not a needy person among the house repairs are done by residents, over them, for as many as were owners of lands or the course of various work weeks and week- houses sold them and brought the proceeds of ends throughout the year. Everyone pours what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, hours of labor and love into solving problems and it was distributed to each as any had need. and working on anything that’s broken, and no one shies away from getting down on the I’m so amazed by what this church must have floor and cleaning. When everything’s finally looked like. People weren’t just sharing their done, the evening is spent eating good food time in small group once a week, or their food together and taking turns thanking people for at a potluck once a month. They shared ev- all the things that have been done that you ap- erything, from their mentalities to their hous- preciate. Even when it’s not work weekend, no es. Through my Christian fellowship here matter how hosed you are, no matter how ex- at MIT I’ve learned a lot about what it looks hausting a day you’re getting back from, every like for Christians to live life together. How- night you can always count on a cooked din- ever, through living at pika, I’ve been able ner, people to chat with, and free hummus3 in to construct a much better picture of what a the fridge. community sharing physical belongings re- ally looks like. In pika, just about everything Although many of the values of pika commu- in the house is communal: food, books, pow- nity are different from those of the Christian er tools, shampoo, and even costumes. People church, and some in opposition, I think there’s eat meals together, cook together, and there’s a lot to learn from this picture of a communal almost always someone ready to play a board living situation. Not only do house members game or join in a jam session with one of the rely on the collective for food and household house’s many communal ukuleles. items, but there’s a sense of shared responsi- bility and everyone being on equal footing. But, just as was the case in the Church in Acts, From this passage earlier in Acts, we can see the communal nature of the house is much that although church members didn’t start out more than just sharing possessions. Through- on equal footing in terms of resources, out the house you can see the work of gener- ations of hands, and an amazing number of …all who believed were together and had all things in the house are either handmade or re- things in common. And they were selling their purposed from something else. At dinner, peo- possessions and belongings and distributing the ple drink out of souvenir mugs from all across proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by the country, repurposed olive jars, and even day, attending the temple together and breaking a huge German beer stein someone found on bread in their homes, they received their food a street corner one day. Everyone’s room has with glad and generous hearts, praising God and its own distinct resident-made murals, and the having favor with all the people.4 couches and curtains are patched with scraps Just as pikanss sacrifice their time and energy of fabric from the donated clothing of dozens to keep the house running and full of resourc- of different people. es , early church members sacrificed their possessions in order to create a community There’s also an incredible sense of responsi- where everyone was supported and taken care bility for the house, and people continually of. Although this involved some members los- talk in terms of the collective. Instead of, “The ing resources and some amount of personal

3 No joke, pika typically has 5(!) different types of hummus on any given day. 4 Acts 2:44-47a

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A room in pika

autonomy, just as a pika work weekend ends you and your household. And you shall not in residents sharing in uplifting conversation, neglect the Levite who is within your towns, good food, and a clean house, this passage for he has no portion or inheritance with you. in Acts ends with a beautiful description of At the end of every three years you shall Christians worshiping God and enjoying food 5 bring out all the tithe of your produce in the together with “glad and generous hearts.” same year and lay it up within your towns. This Biblical picture of mutual reliance is And the Levite, because he has no portion not unique to the New Testament of the Bible or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, though. In the book called Deuteronomy, a the fatherless, and the widow, who are with- book outlining laws for the ancient Israelites, in your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the Lord your God may bless you we see a similar example of God’s followers 6 sharing food together with both self-sacri- in all the work of your hands that you do. fice and celebration. In Deuteronomy 14, God What I find particularly striking about this commands the Israelites, passage is that God didn’t merely instruct those who were well-off to provide for the You shall tithe all the yield of your seed that poor. Instead God went a step beyond that, comes from the field year by year. And be- calling them to create a communal experience fore the Lord your God, in the place that he of feasting and celebration that spanned all so- will choose, to make his name dwell there, cial and socioeconomic boundaries. you shall eat the tithe of your grain, of your wine, and of your oil, and the firstborn of your Additionally, every forty-nine years, the Israel- herd and flock, that you may learn to fear the ites were called to observe a Year of Jubilee, in Lord your God always... And you shall eat which all landowners were required to return all there before the Lord your God and rejoice, plots of land to their original owners, providing

5 One may wonder if pika-eque Christian communes exist. Although religious life organizations provide many beautiful examples of communal living, I have not found many other examples that have persisted. Although there are many fascinating stories out there, Christian communes are somewhat rare, poorly documented, and diverse, making for a subject requiring more research than 6.036 gave me time for this semester. But in short, many people have formed Christian communes, to varying degrees of success. Many of these communal living experiments took place in the 70s, and many are documented very well in Andrew Lockley’s book Christian Communes, which describes everything from a collection of Christian families committing to spending every weekend in a house together to staff workers of a university Christian fellowship in England buying a house and inviting anyone in need to live with them. There are also many more informal groups here in Boston, consisting of 5 or 6 Christians living together with the intent of creating an “intentional community.” 6 Deuteronomy 14:22-23 and 26-29

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yet another way for dignity to be restored to the item that needs refrigeration. Perishable: do destitute and all to be returned to more equal not leave without emotional support for more economic footing. than 12 hours. Although my friends don’t help Through these occurrences, those with less me carry everything I struggle with, I know were reminded of their right to sit at their they’re there if I need them. community’s table and partake in celebration. Romans 5:5 says that God’s love has been Additionally, those with more were able to poured into Christians’ hearts through the shift their focus away from their own security Holy Spirit, and I believe that one of the ways and towards the needs and goals of the family 7 in which we can experience God’s love is of God around them. through the love of fellow Christians. As Rod Although poverty is not a concern for most- Dreher describes of Eberstadt’s philosophy, “… many members of the MIT community, I when the concrete embodiments of the rela- tionship to God crumble, it becomes very hard think these practices of mutual reliance and 8 self-sacrifice for the sake of the community as to hold on to Him in the abstract.” However, a whole can be applied to resources beyond when Christians support each other as God just material possessions. When I think about supports us, we start to see more and more what I and fellow MIT students need, it’s not of the goodness of God through the blessings daily food or possessions so much as encour- and care we both give and receive in Chris- agement and camaraderie. Many of us here at tian community. By equipping us to love and MIT struggle with depression, impostor syn- support each other, God designed a way of re- drome, suicidal thoughts, or feeling like we’re vealing Himself to us that reconciles us both never doing enough. Just as I relied upon my to Him and to each other. fellow pikans to do their part in repairing the Although much of the teachings of the Bible house and cooking me food, here at MIT I rely are concerned with people receiving grace on my friends in my dorm and Christian com- and blessings directly from God, when such munity for emotional support and care. blessings manifest themselves in Christian Leaving my parents and hometown of 2,000 communities, they can have amazing effects people to come to school here freshman year on people. As author Rodney Stark describes, was a scary transition. But, whenever I make “It was not simply the promise of salvation that that trip across the country again, although motivated [the first converts to Christianity], it’s still quite a transition, I now have people but the fact that they were greatly rewarded to figuratively catch me at either end. Three here and now for belonging. Thus while mem- times a year, I leave my father with a hug in bership was expensive, it was, in fact, a bar- the LAX airport and jump into the exhausting gain. That is, because the church asked much and strange period of constantly checking my of its members, it was thereby possessed of the watch, being surrounded by strangers, and resources to give much. For example, because hoping no one wants to talk to me for more Christians were expected to aid the less fortu- than 2 minutes. But as I tiredly carry my suit- nate, many of them received such aid, and all case down the Infinite Corridor and back to could feel greater security against bad times… Because they were asked to love others, they in the homey lounge of 3E in Next House, I slow- 9 ly shake off the feeling of being alone in an turn were loved...” austere outer world and enter back into a fam- ily that loves me. I almost feel like a grocery Laura Koemmpel

7 To read more details on how Biblical commands mitigated social divides and provided for the poor, I would recommend Practicing the King’s Econ- omy, by Michael Rhodes, Robby Holt, and Dr. Brian Fikkert, as well as Neither Poverty nor Riches, by Craig L. Blomberg. 8 The Benedict Option, p. 123 9 The Rise of Christianity: How the Obscure, Marginal Jesus Movement Became the Dominant Religious Force in the Western World in a Few Centuries, 1996

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Banff National Park, Andrew Turner being good stewards.

I have hiked through the dense forest of Cape ages to study the first two of those three ave- Perpetua to survey the churning waves crash- nues, and this is, for the most part, a good and ing against the jagged, porous rocks of the Or- wholesome trend. As C.S. Lewis argues in his egon coast. I have watched the sun rise over bestseller Mere Christianity, it is very difficult limestone cliffs that surround the turquoise for us to discern the architect of some struc- waters of Moraine Lake in Alberta.1 I have ture by simply staring at a wall or faucet or climbed North America’s tallest sand dune some other feature inside.2 His argument is and stared into the continent’s deepest can- that if we, despite unbelief, try to find God, the yon, both of which lie in my home state of best place to look is inside ourselves. Although Idaho. I have heard lions roar over the savan- this is a generally solid approach, it is not nahs of Kenya and watched an elephant drink necessary for our realization of God. In fact, deeply from a pool of water in Pilanesberg, Paul argues in Romans 1 that even without the South Africa. I have lain beneath the twin- working of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we kling stars, those celestial bodies that serve still stand condemned, “For since the creation as a reminder that our God remains seated in of the world God’s invisible qualities—his Heaven, wrapped in light and the splendor of eternal power and divine nature—have been His Holiness. clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. God has chosen to reveal himself to human- For although they knew God, they neither glo- kind through Creation, whether that be our- rified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but selves, our neighbors, or the natural world their thinking became futile and their foolish around us. Much work has been done over the

1 Belyea, H. R. (1960). The Story of the Mountains of Banff National Park.Ottawa: Geological Survey of Canada. 2 Lewis, C.S. (2001). Mere Christianity. New York: HarperOne.

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hearts were darkened”.3 Paul continues his him, preventing him from action. “‘Master,’ he argument by claiming that those who do not said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvest- acknowledge God end up worshiping some ing where you have not sown and gathering idol from Creation in His place. He states, “Al- where you have not scattered seed. So I was though they claimed to be wise, they became afraid and went out and hid your gold in the fools and exchanged the glory of the immor- ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’”9 tal God for images made to look like a mortal In essence, the servant feared the very task human being and birds and animals and rep- he had been assigned: to collect gains for the tiles.”4 God’s glory, Paul argues, is made mani- kingdom of his master even when he did not fest in Creation. Humans are wired to worship. feel his master’s presence. His task felt impos- If we do not worship the One who gave Cre- sible, especially because his master did not ation its glory, we will end up worshiping Cre- explicitly tell him how to complete it. In the ation itself. Clearly, it is possible for us to see same way as this servant was tasked with reap- something of the beauty and majesty of God ing dividends for his master, part of our duty in the world around us. as humans made in the image of our Father is to bless and increase the fruitfulness of the As humans, our job is not merely to observe Earth which He has entrusted to us. this glory. God assigned us the duty of main- taining it—a mandate which should practical- The Parable of the Talents bears both encour- ly affect a Christian’s daily life. In Genesis 1:28, aging and difficult tidings. On the bright side, God charges Adam and Eve’s descendants to both servants that did their master’s bidding rule over his new creation: “God blessed them received incomprehensible blessing from their and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in willingness to obey. The master blesses them: number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over “‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and have been faithful with a few things; I will put over every living creature that moves on the you in charge of many things. Come and share ground.’”5 God owns everything, but in His in- your master’s happiness!’”10 If we surrender finite wisdom He tasked us to rule over a por- ourselves to the will of God with regard to tak- tion of it. The Biblical idea of stewardship is ing care of our planet, we can expect Him also probably best represented in Matthew 25, the to say to us, “Well done, good and faithful ser- Parable of the Talents. In this story, the mas- vant!”11 On the other hand, the Christian can- ter, representing Christ, leaves on a journey. not behave like the wicked servant, ignoring He entrusts his three servants with a certain His master’s expectations and settling for the number of talents6 to maintain while he is status quo until His return. According to this away. Two of his servants run with what they parable, that path certainly leads to destruc- have been given and double their master’s tion. money through smart investment. The third, whom Jesus calls a “wicked, lazy servant,” At times, it seems that the human race is on buries his one talent in the ground, waiting for this path of destruction. Each minute the his master to return.7 In the end, Jesus orders, equivalent of 27 soccer fields of forest land are “’throw that worthless servant outside, into chopped down, for a total loss of 18.7 million the darkness, where there will be weeping and acres annually.12 Shrinking woodlands can gnashing of teeth.’”8 endanger the animals that inhabit them. The World Wildlife Fund’s Living Planet Index What was the reasoning behind this servant’s (LPI), which takes a weighted average of the behavior? His trepidation as he surveyed the percentage changes in the population of vari- powerful hand of his master incapacitated ous animal species, has declined by 60% since

3 Romans 1:20-21. The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House. This and all subsequent Biblical quotations are rendered from the New International Version (NIV). 4 Romans 1:22-23. 5 Genesis 1:28. 6 A talent was an amount of money worth about 20 years of day laborer’s wage. 7 Matthew 25:26. 8 Matthew 25:30. 9 Matthew 25:24-25. 10 Matthew 25:21 and 23. 11 Matthew 25:21a. 12 Deforestation and Forest Degradation. (n.d.). Retrieved from World Wildlife Fund.

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1970. A change this drastic in such a short peri- to tell each person in which capacity they must od is cause for extreme concern about Earth’s serve, I can give some general recommenda- biodiversity.13 This loss of both plant and an- tions on practical ways to be involved in the imal life affects humans as well. With fewer restoration of our planet. trees to eliminate CO2 from the atmosphere, the global average temperature continues to The first and most elementary step is to spend rise. A recent study sponsored by NASA sug- time in nature. Just as we are meant to know gests that sea level rise has been accelerating God both in knowledge and in practice, over the last 25 years, rather than steadily spending time in nature can provide an ap- increasing as previously assumed. Left un- preciation for the Lord’s handiwork and mo- checked, this trend will lead to an estimated tivate us toward its preservation. The Psalmist rise of 28 inches by 2100, threatening coastal writes, “Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth cities and infrastructure globally.14 Identify- be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in ing—let alone enacting—solutions to many of it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in these issues remains complex. them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy. Let all Creation rejoice before the LORD.”17 As To engineer more fuel efficient cars, to de- we spend time in nature, let our song rise with velop new drugs to preserve human life, to the song that has been going on since the be- conduct research on nuclear fusion to enable ginning of time from all Creation—the song of the generation of clean energy—these actions adoration to the One who breathed life out of align with the will of the Lord. This begs the nothing. question, “What about people who are not engaged in these occupations?” The answer The second practical step is to follow the three is not easy, and often can be tied to partisan Rs: reduce, reuse, and recycle. It is easy yet lines. Even on issues that are less politically insignificant to pay lip service to this mantra, contentious, we can still face tradeoffs. For ex- but the time is ripe to ask some tough ques- ample, the primary power company serving tions. How well do I know the recycling rules my home state of Idaho derived 67.8% of its of my municipality? Can I recycle this item energy from renewable sources, including hy- that I always throw away? Which items in my droelectric, wind, and solar, in 2017.15 Sounds garage could be donated to Goodwill? Can I great, right? The downside is that the 8 hydro- use the air conditioning less? These concrete electric plants along the Columbia and Snake actions represent just a few of a variety of self- rivers have made a major dent in Idaho’s wild checks that can be used to spur action. sockeye salmon population, leading to a year where only one of these migrating fish made Third, the door is always open for participa- it back to its home in Redfish Lake.16 Clearly, tion in advocacy organizations that are mak- there are no easy solutions to the various envi- ing a difference on a larger scale. For example, ronmental challenges we face. These instanc- MIT alum Danielle Wood ’05, SM ’08, PhD ’12 es of uncertainty call for sensitivity to the Holy recently partnered with a startup called Green Spirit and the application of both knowledge Keeper Africa that pays residents of the West and wisdom. We can take heart, however, African country of Benin to remove invasive knowing that the only servant Jesus rebuked species from the country’s waterways. Specif- was the one who chose not to act at all. ically, Dr. Wood is utilizing her knowledge of satellite design to develop a sensor network to In the end, all of humanity is called to serve track high concentrations of the invading hya- and preserve the environment; we are not cinth to allow locals to uproot it more quickly. each called to take part in this vital work in Furthermore, this startup has found a method the same way. Just as God dispenses to each of processing and selling the hyacinth to clean person unique gifts of the Spirit, we each are up oil spills in other parts of Africa. When granted unique methods and opportunities to asked why she contributes to this project, Dr. care for our planet. Although it is not my role Wood responded, “I could look for the social

13 Brown, E. A. (2018, November 1). Widely Misinterpreted Report Still Shows Catastrophic Animal Decline. Retrieved from National Geographic. 14 Weeman, K., & Lynch, P. (2018, February 13). New Study Finds Sea Level Rise Accelerating. Retrieved from National Aeronautics and Space Admin- istration. 15 Energy Sources. (n.d.). Retrieved from Idaho Power. 16 Sockeye Salmon. (n.d.). Retrieved from Idaho Department of Fish and Game. 17 Psalm 96:11-13.

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implications of space and make that a key part tainability. For those working for corporations of my work to contribute to the lives of women with a high environmental cost, maybe now is around the world.”18 When Dr. Wood peered the time to ideate solutions to these pressing into the cosmos, she discovered ways to pos- problems. itively impact both a human population and their environment. In the same way, Chris- God’s story of working to maintain His cre- tians are all given various gifts, or “talents”, ation may differ in the ways it manifests itself that enable the care of God’s creation.19 in each person, but there is common ground in the fact that we are all called to be good stew- Finally, to the one involved in a career that ards. Just as in the Parable of the Talents, God contributes strongly to the pollution of our has entrusted this world to humanity while He planet: what will be your response? As Chris- is seemingly absent. It is the role of the elect— tians, there are times to stand up and fight, those who accept the Gospel and the life-alter- and there are times to wait patiently for deliv- ing hope it promises—to allow this hope of re- erance. Maybe God is calling you to switch ca- demption to permeate the way we see creation reers, or maybe He beckons toward less drastic itself. This hope is not wishful thinking, but long-term action, such as advocating within rather should be demonstrated through prac- your company for change. Printer manufac- tical steps that captivate our hearts and moti- turer HP’s business causes a steep environ- vate our actions in ever-increasing measure. mental impact—not only are its printers made This doctrine grants incredible value to the of plastic, but the paper they use requires the work that humans do to preserve the environ- cutting down of large numbers of trees. In re- ment, even if it is as insignificant as sorting out sponse to this, HP has taken great strides in the correct plastic bottles to recycle. May our developing a global recycling program, with commitment to the stewardship of the planet a goal to recycle more than 1.2 million metric reflect the glory we give to the One who cre- tons of material over a 10-year span. 20 This am- ated it—“if the mountains bow in reverence, bitious program likely began as an idea from a so will I.”21 small group of employees to improve HP’s sus- Matthew Turner.

18 Daniel, A. (2019, February 6). Down to Earth. Retrieved from MIT Alumni. 19 Matthew 25:15. 20 Product Return and Recycling. (n.d.). Retrieved from HP. 21 Hillsong Worship. (2018). So Will I (100 Billion X) - Live [MP3]. Hillsong Church: Brooke Ligertwood, Michael Guy Chislett.

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