An Introduction to Buddhist Psychology and Counselling An Introduction to Buddhist Psychology and Counselling Pathways of Mindfulness-Based Therapies

5th edition

Padmasiri de Silva Research Fellow, Faculty of Philosophical, Historical and International Studies, Monash University, Australia © Padmasiri de Silva 2014 All rights reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this publication may be made without written permission. No portion of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted save with written permission or in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, or under the terms of any licence permitting limited copying issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency, Saffron House, 6–10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages. The author has asserted his right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. Fifth edition published 2014 by PALGRAVE MACMILLAN Third edition © Padmasiri de Silva 2000 Fourth edition © Padmasiri de Silva 2005 Palgrave Macmillan in the UK is an imprint of Macmillan Publishers Limited, registered in England, company number 785998, of Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS. Palgrave Macmillan in the US is a division of St Martin’s Press LLC, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010. Palgrave Macmillan is the global academic imprint of the above companies and has companies and representatives throughout the world. Palgrave® and Macmillan® are registered trademarks in the United States, the United Kingdom, Europe and other countries. ISBN 978-1-137-28754-0 ISBN 978-1-137-28755-7 (eBook) DOI 10.1057/9781137287557 This book is printed on paper suitable for recycling and made from fully managed and sustained forest sources. Logging, pulping and manufacturing processes are expected to conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress. To Our Renowned Meditation Guru Ven. Uda Eriyagama Dhammajiva Thero

To My Family Memory of my beloved parents & beloved wife, Kalyani Our sons, Maneesh, Adeesh and Chandeesh & their wives, Harini, Ananga and Sharron Our grandchildren: Ishka Yugani, Ashan, Keisha and Jed Contents

Preface ix

Acknowledgements xiv

Part I Introducing Buddhist Psychology

1 Buddhist Psychology and the Revolution in Cognitive Sciences 3

2 Basic Features of Buddhist Psychology: An Overview 9

3 The Psychology of Perception and Cognition 23

4 The Psychology of Motivation 31

5 Emotions: Western Theoretical Orientations and Buddhism 46

6 Personality: Philosophical and Psychological Issues 68

7 Mental Health and Sickness 78

8 Mental Well-being 82

9 Mind–Body Relationship and Buddhist Contextualism 93

10 Towards a Holistic Psychology: Blending Thinking and Feeling 97

11 Buddhism as Contemplative Philosophy, Psychology and Ethics 108

Part II Pathways of Mindfulness-Based Counselling

12 Nature of Counselling and Theoretical Orientations in Psychotherapy 119

13 Mindfulness-Based Therapeutic Orientations 126

14 Exploring the Content and Methodology of Buddhist Meditation 141

15 Stress Management and the Rhythms of Our Lives 147

vii viii Contents

16 The Logic of Sadness and Its Near Allies: Depression, Melancholy and Boredom 154

17 Understanding and Managing Grief: When the Desert Begins to Bloom 170

18 The Concept of Anger: Psychodynamics and Management 177

19 Addictions, Self-Control and the Puzzles Regarding Voluntary Self-Destruction 187

20 Pride and Conceit: Emotions of Self-Assessment 202

21 The Culture of ‘Generosity’ and the Ethics of Altruism 216

Guidelines for Readers 227

Further Reading 232

Notes 235

References 254

Index 265 Preface

The Emotional Rhythms of Our Lives

In a very basic sense, this work is an introduction to Buddhist psychology and counselling and especially mindfulness-based coun- selling. The first edition of the book on Buddhist psychology emerged in 1979, when only the early pioneering studies of Rhys Davids and, a little later, Rune Johanson’s writings, focused on the psychology of nirvana¯ , comprised the literature on the subject. I did not in any way anticipate that this was going to continue as far as 2005 with three more editions with additional chapters. I am grateful to Palgrave Macmillan for their continuing interest in this book and the editor of the ‘The Library of Philosophy of Religion’, Professor John Hick, who initially invited me to write this work during his sabbatical as a Visiting Fellow at the Phi- losophy Department at Peradeniya University. In fact, recently he wrote to me to say that this book was one of the most successful books in the series. I am sure that he would be gratified to see that the work has emerged with a new lease of life as a book on Buddhist psychology and counselling. I am grateful to the teachers and students in the universities and institutes where the book has been used and also to a large number of Buddhist scholars, as well as to the continuing interest shown by the ‘general reader’. However, this book, especially the counselling dimensions of the work, has been nourished by my early difficult experiences, which were followed, as the years passed, with joy, contentment and fulfilment in my work and life. Thus, while I am more than happy about its accep- tance into academia, this book has an undercurrent of what I refer to as the ‘rhythms of our emotional lives’. It represents an authentic, existential and experiential strand in my life, which went through a deeply disturbing shattering phase in 1994 (see Chapters 16 and 17 on ‘Sadness’ and ‘Grief’) but culminated in the deepest insights of self- knowledge – of anger, fear and anxiety, loneliness and mild depression, with an emerging calm, equanimity, tremendous empathy, compassion and insights with the ability to understand the conflicts and tensions of my clients in counselling. The Buddha advised his son Rahula¯ to look at his mind in the way that one looks at a mirror, as a pathway for

ix x Preface self-knowledge, but in my counselling sessions the client’s mind was a mirror to let me see my own ‘emotional rhythms’ in their mind and body. As Ervin Yalom says, the client and the therapist are fellow trav- ellers – as they begin to understand the difficult encounters in life: going through shattering conflicts, anger and anxiety but gradually experi- encing calm and contentment and insight into the nature of one’s predicament. Chapter 11 focuses on the nature of the contemplative paths in therapy, which opens up new horizons in the life of both the therapist and client. Academia and the publishing worlds have given me a framework to reach a large number of readers, and Part II springs from authentic rhythms of my emotional life. T.S. Eliot has presented fine insights in his method of transforming a number of disorganised expe- riences into a beautiful format, something very personal into a universal message. An Introduction to Buddhist Psychology has commanded a keen read- ership for over three decades. During the last two decades, courses on Buddhist psychology have been introduced in some universities, in departments of religion and philosophy, in the West; and, in the sec- ond wave of interest, Buddhist courses in psychology and new courses in counselling and therapy have emerged. In countries such as Thailand and Sri Lanka they now occupy an important place in Buddhist studies. Due to the emergence of a number of mindfulness-based therapies, the general readership for books on Buddhist psychology has increased and the book has evolved: new chapters were added to each edition. The following points summarise the significant facets of this book. First, the present book brings together the elements of what may be described as mindfulness-based counselling, and so it covers both Buddhist psychology and counselling. This new dimension empha- sises the practical value of Buddhist psychology. Secondly, a number of mindfulness-based therapeutic traditions have emerged in the West during the last two decades. There are chapters in Part II that introduce both the nature of counselling and the mindfulness-based therapeu- tic traditions, including the therapeutic method I have developed, Mindfulness-based, Emotion-focused (EFT) Therapy. Thirdly, for many years I have been immersed in ‘emotion studies’: Part I, Chapter 5 discusses emotions at length, and in Part II, against the background of therapy and counselling there are specific chapters on grief, sad- ness/depression, anger, conceit/pride, greed/addictions and presenta- tion of some positive emotions, generosity, compassion, emotional balance and equanimity. A chapter on ‘Thinking and Feeling’ offers a Preface xi

Buddhist perspective to try to resolve a Western debate on the nature of emotions: physiologically oriented theories vs cognitive theories of emotions. In fact, a sub-theme that reverberates in this book may be described as ‘the emotional rhythms of our lives’. Fourthly, the book is a blend of material on the psychology of Buddhism from the origi- nal Buddhist sermons, structured according to the main topics in the discipline of psychology such as cognition, motivation, emotion, per- sonality, health and well-being. My training in the philosophy of the mind at the University of Hawaii and during a Fulbright fellowship at the University of Pittsburgh have formed the way I handle basic con- cepts such as motivation and subliminal activity, emotions, intentions and volition and, in general, the fourfold cognitive, affective, voli- tional/conative and attentional dimensions of the mind. The charting out of different emotion profiles like grief, sadness, depression, anger, addictions and generosity is also partly facilitated by my training in the philosophy of the mind. Fifthly, many years of study, training and practising as a professional counsellor, which may be described as ‘Bud- dhist Psychotherapy’ has been a basis for the section on counselling in the book. Sixthly, Chapter 1 on Buddhism and the cognitive sci- ences defines the emerging interest in the Buddhism–cognitive sciences interface. Seventhly, Buddhism has also been described as ‘contempla- tive science’ and Chapter 11 is completely devoted to an analysis of Buddhism as contemplative philosophy, psychology, ethics and edu- cation, and in several other chapters there is a discussion of Buddhist psychology in the context of the current interest in ‘moral psychology’. Eighthly, there are also new features in the new edition. Throughout my years of studying and teaching there has been a visible interdisci- plinary spectrum running through formal studies in philosophy with philosophy of the mind as a speciality, Buddhist studies, counselling and psychology and a professional training in emotion studies. This background has given the present work an enriching flavour by illus- trating the relevance of Buddhism to the contemporary world and, as Robert H. Thouless says, the surprising relevance of a message coming down twenty-six centuries. In general, it can be said that there is a demand for Buddhist psy- chology texts integrating some of the more recent developments in counselling at the level of university courses, for Western-trained thera- pists integrating mindfulness practice to their work and a sophisticated group of readers interested in these new trends. Chapter 1 positions Bud- dhist psychology beyond its early philosophical beginnings grounding xii Preface to be within the new revolution in cognitive sciences, which seeks new points of interaction with the areas of cognition, motivation and emotions. One of the problems for a project of this sort is striking a balance between the popular demands for reading material in Buddhist psychol- ogy for those who are more focused on the practical uses of Buddhist psychology and counselling in routine life, and the demand of seri- ous academic scholarship, authenticity of the sources in the original sermons of the Buddha, and very crucial, clarity and authenticity of meditation guidance. Meeting the demands of academic scholarship and authenticity of the material presented is crucial for a book of this sort, as I have maintained through all the previous editions. How- ever, acting on some useful suggestions from readers I have included a glossary of Pali¯ terms, and made their usage in the main text as functional as far as is possible. Footnotes of reference to the discourses cannot be avoided but shall exercise some care where I introduce quo- tations from the Buddhist texts, especially with the aim of making the context lively and re-creating the spirit of the Buddha’s sermons. The general flow and the tenor of the writing should make the reader aware that knowing some of the Pali¯ terms are useful, for instance, a term like dukkha (suffering, a world inundated with sorrow, lamenta- tion, grief) and also the more modern rendering as ‘stress’: Another example would be the Buddhist rendering of ‘good and bad’, which is different from the Western-oriented usage, and the meaning of terms like ‘kamma’, which has at least two dimensions: being related to the notion of re-birth and intentional action focused on the ‘present’. These concepts become important in understanding the moral psychology in Buddhism, a dimension of psychology increasingly become rele- vant today. Also, Part II on Buddhist counselling psychology would be closer to the demands of the general reader interested in practical issues. My long years of practice under the guidance of meditation guru from the forest hermitage in Meethirigala, Venerable Uda Eriyagama Dhammajiva, has added a new sense of depth to my understanding in unravelling the message in some of the suttas. The framework of this book has been enriched by this experience and guidance, for instance, as seen in Chapter 8 on mental balance and equanimity. My acquaintance with the philosophy of the mind over several decades has sharpened my conceptual tools and the need for clarity and focus in my writings. I always remember with gratitude some wonder- ful seminars on the philosophy of the mind during my postgraduate Preface xiii studies at the University of Hawaii. Many readers have commented on the clarity and focus found in the Introduction to Buddhist Psychology. The chapters on counselling in Part II provide a practical dimension to the theory presented in Part I. Themes like addictions, stress man- agement and grief counselling have been worked through with mostly successful clients. Acknowledgements

First I would like to record a deep sense of thanks to our publisher Palgrave Macmillan for the sustaining interest in my work on Buddhist psychology for well over two decades and crowning this interest with the present volume with nine new chapters and the rest of the book greatly revised. I wish to also thank those on the editorial staff who reviewed the project proposal for this new book and also suggested cer- tain creative ideas to improve the quality of the work, as well as the integration of different chapters into a well-knit book. I wish to thank Nicola Jones of the Palgrave-Macmillan editorial staff for coordinating the progress of the work at different stages. I have worked with a number of copy editors over the years for a num- ber of books, but Alec McAulay stands out as the editor par excellence. At a difficult juncture in the progress of the text and the proofs he restored in my mind full confidence that we could make some smooth progress, and carry it through till the book is ready for printing. I wish to express my most sincere thanks to Alec McAulay. I greatly appreciate the assistance received from Professor G. Somaratne, an eminent scholar in Pali studies, for helping me with the Pali diacritical marks.

xiv