1 I Need a Christmas Vacation (Gabriel and Beatriz Push Brooms

Home , Boy (I Need You), My Christmas, Santa Claus

I Need a Christmas Vacation

(Gabriel and Beatriz push brooms through the aisles, roll the trash cans from the front to the back of the MPR, dust off some seats while the last of the audience is being seated.)

Gabriel: (to the audience) Well, well, well, and Ho! Ho! Ho! Just thirty minutes until Christmas vacation officially begins.

Beatriz: Can’t you just feel the excitement?

Gabriel: (Points to the audience) Excuse me, sir, could you please take your seat. We’ve got a show to do.

Beatriz: No kidding, Gabriel. The students and teachers are all planning how they will spend their holidays.

Gabriel: Riding sleds in the snow.

Beatriz: Ice skating.

Gabriel: Roller skating at the new rink in Murrieta!

Beatriz: Shopping…

Gabriel: Visiting relatives…

Beatriz: Making Christmas cookies…

Gabriel: Waiting up for Santa Claus. (Phone rings.)

Madeline: (Enters holding a cell phone to her ear.) Gloria? Can you hear me now? I’m not supposed to use my cell phone at school, but there’s only thirty minutes left until vacation starts, and I am so excited I can hardly stand it! Uh-oh, somebody’s coming. I’ll meet you at the mall right after school. Don’t have any fun until I get there. (Exits.)

Beatriz: And we will be here, waxing the floors in peace and quite.

Gabriel: Not me. I have a very special job to do.

Beatriz: What’s that, Gabriel?

Gabriel: I get to play Santa Claus at the Christmas party for the preschool children.

Beatriz (Laughing): You? Playing Santa Claus? You are too skinny for Santa Claus!

Gabriel: Too skinny? What are you talking about – too skinny? (School bell rings.)

Beatriz: Quiet, you two. Here come the students.

(House lights dim and stage lights come on as the curtain opens and the children all enter and music begins. The custodians sit on their buckets and watch.)

Song: I Need a Christmas Vacation

Christmas is almost here. Time to spread some holiday cheer. Haven’t had a holiday for almost a year. I need a vacation now. Decorations are all about, School is great, but I’m all burned out! One more day makes me wanna shout. I need a vacation now! I need a Christmas vacation, I need a holiday, I need a Christmas vacation. Gotta go outside and play! All day! I need a Christmas vacation. Please hear me when I say, I need a Christmas vacation! Come on, Santa, take me away.

Gavin: Thirty more minutes until Christmas vacation officially begins!

Zachary: Thirty more minutes? I don’t think I can make it!

Gavin: Hang in there, Zach. I won’t leave you behind.

Zachary: Really? You’d stay behind here at school if I had to?

Gavin: Just kidding. I’m outa here.

Song continues:

Time to ride on an open sleigh. Going skiing ev’ry single day. It’s a homework free holiday! I need a vacation now! My family goes to Mexico. Grandma will be coming from Idaho. I’ll eat with kinfolk I don’t even know. I need a vacation now! I need a Christmas vacation, I need a holiday. I need a Christmas vacation,

Gotta go outside and play! All day! I need a Christmas vacation, Plese hear me when I say, I need a Christmas vacation, Come on, Santa, take me away.

Madeline: (On the phone) What’s that you say, Gloria? A close-out sale at Walmart? I’ll be there in a couple of hours. You’re breaking up Gloria! You’re breaking up! Holy cow. Snow is starting to fall.

Song continues:

Tonight we do our Christmas play, Politically correct in ev’ry way, But we gotta be done by Christmas Day. I need a vacation now. I’ll decorate the tree. I’ll donate to a cause, Go shopping at the mall. I’ll wait for Santa Claus. I need a Christmas vacation now! Right now!

(Curtains close.)

Gabriel (to the audience): Well, everybody is ready for a break around here – the teachers, the principal, the students, and the custodians.

Beatriz: Yeah, don’t forget about us.

Gabriel: Right you are! Ho! Ho! Ho! (imitating Santa) How’s that?

Beatriz: Too skinny!

Gabriel: Oh my, you won’t believe this, but it is snowing outside.

Beatriz: Snowing here in Murrieta?

Gabriel: We will have a white Christmas after all.

Beatriz: Hey, look! Here comes Mrs. Hernandez’s advanced drama class from McElhinney with their Shakepearean costumes!

Beatriz: They are always rehearsing!

(The Drama Class enters in Shakespearean costumes. They overact to the point of ridiculous while the custodians sit on their buckets and watch.)

Gavin: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!

Brooke: O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Meghan: (frustrated) Hey, you two! We’re not doing Romeo and Juliet! We’re supposed to be rehearsing the Christmas Play.

Tori: Friends! Romans! Countrymen!

Meghan: No! No! Bo! Not Julius Caser! Think Christmas Pageant!

Tori: Lend me your (pauses, thinks, then speaks proudly) … fruitcake!

Isabella: There’s no place like hom! There’s no place like home!

Meghan: I said “Christmas!”

Isabella: (thinks and then proudly speaks.) There’s no place like home… for the holidays!

Meghan: Argh!!! That’s it! Either we rehearse the Christmas Pageant right now or I quit!

Parker: Et tu, Brutus?

Meghan: Good grief! (Faces the audience and speaks) Ladies and gentlemen, as the final official school act before Christmas vacation officially begins, the Advanced Dramatic Acting Class proudly presents (pause) “A Winter’s Tale.”

Song: A Winter’s Tale

What do we all liveth for in the winter when it’s forty below? On mid-winter break, we ache for flakes, and flakes and flakes of snow.

Mia: The Snow Falleth

Parker: Et tu Brutus?

Lisa: Romeo! Oh Romeo?

Meghan: Oh brother!

Nonny nonny, Nonny nonny, Snow, hey, nonny nonny no. Nonny nonny, Nonny nonny, ho. How we love snow. Oh what a day Nonny nonny no. How we love snow. Oh, what a sight! Wonderful world, all dressed in white. How I love staying out, love playing out in the snow. Look here it comes, just watch it fall.

We’ll have a white Christmas after all. How I love going out. Oh, it’s blowing out in the snow. We can ride a toboggan and ski down a hill. Go on a sleigh ride Oh boy! What a thrill! Glide and slide on figure skates, hurry, don’t be late. Nonny nonny, nonny, nonny no Snow, hey, ho. How we love snow. Nonny nonny, nonny, nonny no Hey, ho, how we love snow. Oh how I love each little flake. Snow is the icing on the cake. How we’ll be heading out, fun sledding out in the snow.

Mrs. Mutchnick: Attention, students, parents, and teachers. Due to the blizzard-like conditions outside, Mr. Shaw and I have decided in the interest of safety, that we must all stay at school until this storm has passed. It could be an hour. It could be a day. It could be for the entire winter vacation!

Nonny nonny, nonny, nonny nonny nonny no Snow. Hey, ho, How we love snow. Nonny nonny, nonny, nonny nonny nonny no Snow. Hey, ho, How we love snow.

Mrs. Mutchnick: Have a nice day!

No! How can this be? Oh no, it’s not! All of this snow isn’t so hot! What lousy luck! Look how we’re stuck in all this now! Please make it quit. Please make it stop. These aren’t just flakes, it’s a bumper crop! Please go away. Don’t make us stay. Look at all this snow! All of my plans have been put on hold. Who can go out when it’s this freezing cold? Snow can ruin ev’rything. Let’s just jump into spring!

Tori: Stuck at school? This can’t be! I have an audition for Midsummer Night’s Dream. (Pauses) What’s a little snow. Romeo can shovel!

Gavin: (shocked) What?

Brooke: Put some boots on and get out there!

Gavin: I’m an actor!!

Tori: You’re a 6 th grader!

Nonny nonny, nonny, nonny nonny nonny no Snow. Oh no, there’s too much snow. Nonny nonny, nonny, nonny nonny nonny no Snow. Oh no, there’s too much snow. This is our tale, some tragedy. That old King Lear’s got nothing on me. One fatal flaw, I’ll never thaw ‘cause I’m stuck in snow! Snow. Oh no, please, I have to go. Snow. Oh no, there’s too much snow, snow, snow.

(Curtain closes.)

Gabriel: Well, what can you do?

Beatriz: When life gives you snow, make snowmen!

Gabriel: Or at least make the best of it.

(Cell phone rings. Madeline enters, still talking on the phone.)

Madeline: Yes, Gloria, I’m still at school. And it’s getting crazy around here. !!! Argh! I’m missing it!Fifty percent off at Macy’s? (She exits.)

Sierra: Hey Bianca, why the long face?

Toby: Don’t worry. We’ll get out of here eventually.

Bianca: Eventually, sure. But my family has tickets to go to Cabo San Lucas for the holidays.

Johanna: You mean as in Mexico?

Bianca: Si.

Sierra: You mean as in beaches?

Sierra: And piñatas?

Gavin: Bull fights?

Zachary: And mariachis?

Bianca: Yes. And now I’m stuck here at school without a chance of getting a tan.

(The students gather in a huddle for a moment, then break.)

Isabella: Oh, Senorita Bianca?

Johanna: Feliz navidad!

Song: Christmas Fiesta

In Old Mexico each holiday, you’ll hear a familiar ring The people dance, Mariachi play, and this is what they sing. The holidays are beginning, my fav’rite time of the year. Ev’rybody is grinning, the day is almost here. I have a special requesta of each and ev’ryone. Let’s have a special fiesta, a holiday in the sun. Christmas Fiesta, winter in the sun. Christmas Fiesta, fun for ev’ryone. Cabo San Lucas or Acapulco Bay. Christmas Fiesta, it’s the perfect holiday! If the temp’rature still is freezing, Let me tell you, ya oughta stop your sniffling and sneezing. Join us in Las Posadas. So Santa, this is my order. I’m sending it to you. A Christmas south of the border, I hope you make it all come true. Christmas Fiesta, winter in the sun. Christmas Fiesta, fun for ev’ryone. Cabo San Lucas or Acapulco Bay. Christmas Fiesta, it’s the perfect holiday! So if you’re feeling depression, celebrate Las Posadas, Or if you’re feeling aggression, take it out on your piñata. Christmas Fiesta, winter in the sun. Christmas Fiesta, fun for ev’ryone. Cabo San Lucas or Acapulco Bay. Christmas Fiesta, it’s the perfect holiday! It’s the perfect holiday!

(Curtain closes.)

Gabriel: Ho! Ho! Ho! That fiesta was a lot of fun! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Beatriz: Yes, it was fun. But what’s with the “Ho! Ho! Ho!?”

Gabriel: I’m just practicing my Santa laugh for the preschool party.

(Madeline enters, on the phone.)

Madeline: Gloria? Gloria? Are you there? There’s a terrible snowstorm. Like six feet in ten minutes! Gloria! I do NOT exaggerate, and I am nor melodramatic. But if I don’t get to go Christmas shopping today, I am going to die!

Parker: Hey, Madeline. Why don’t you hang up your phone and log on to a computer?

Madeline: What for?

Parker: You could do all of your shopping online!

Madeline: Oh no! The last time I tried that, you wouldn’t believe the problems I had.

Song: Surfin’ the Web

Surfin’ the web now! Come on, let me show you how. Meet me and we’ll go to E-Bay! Come on, little misses, we’ll do our Christmas shopping on line. Do our Christmas shopping. Always get a bargain, ya never have to wait in line. Do our Christmas shopping. Get a bargain, never wait in line. No regret, we’re goin’ shoppin’. Surf the net, we’re goin’ shoppin’! Shop, shop, shop, shop, shoppin’ on line. Shop, shop, shop, shop, feelin’ fi-i-ne! Up on your laptop, click click click. Gonna get a jump on old Saint Nick. Let’s shop!

Parker: Okay, I think my dad would love a trip to the Amazon! What? Books?! No pirrankas!!

You can do your shopping and never have to get dressed. In your PJs! Twenty-four, seven, you never have to take a rest. Shoppin’ in your PJs In a jam, do your shoppin’, never take a rest. Want to spend, and you’ll be shoppin’! Check your spam, pushing send, and you’ll be Shop, shop, shop, shop, shoppin’ online. Shop, shop, shop, shop, feelin’ fi-i-ne! Up on your laptop, click click click. Gonna get a jump on old Saint Nick. Let’s shop!

Madeline: Okay. I think I’m ready! (Reads the screen.) Push SEND. Congratulations! Your order is complete. Your grandmother will start receiving her TEEN BEAT magazine the day after Christmas! Oh no!

Surfin’ the web now, surfin’ the web now. Wah! Wah! Shop, shop, shop, shop, shoppin’ online. Shop, shop, shop, shop, feelin’ fi-i-ne! Up on your laptop, click click click. Gonna get a jump on old Saint Nick. Let’s shop! Wop, wop until we drop. Wop, wop and we’ll be surfin’ the web now. Come on, let me show you how. Meet me and we’ll go to E-Bay! Let’s shop!

(Curtain closes. Several frightened children enter.)

Sydney: I can’t believe we have to stay at school!

Quinlan: Me either! This is the most awful thing that’s ever happened to me.

Jessica: All these big kids think they have problems.

Toby: Yeah! Like shopping for who knows what.

Parker: Or getting on a plane to Cabo San somewhere.

Gavin: Or getting a part in some silly play.

Sydney: We’ve got real worries.

Quinlan: I’ll say!

Jessica: It’s almost Christmas Eve.

Toby: And we’re not home.

Parker: How will Santa know how to find us?

Gavin: Oh, don’t say that.

Sydney: How awful!

Quinlan: This can’t be happening.

Jessica: This is serious.

Toby: This is a real problem.

All: What are we going to do?

Parker: Does anyone have a clue?

Gavin: Oh, Santa, we’re all feeling so blue.

Sydney: A snowstorm in Murrieta?

Quinlan: And I always thought snow was my friend.

Jessica: Who would have known?

Toby: Who would’ve thought?

Parker: Snow, snow, go away.

Gavin: Don’t come back til New Year’s day!

Song: Santa Claus Be There for Me

This year there’ll be no holly. This year there’ll be no joy. This year there’s nothing jolly for this little girl or boy. The snow keeps comin’ faster, Oh, how in the world can this be? This is a total disaster! Will Santa Claus be there for me? Santa, oh Santa, I sing this song for you. Santa, oh Santa, won’t you please come through? Ya know I’ve always been faithful, and Santa, I’ve always been true. Ev’ry single Christmas, I’ve always been there for you. But this year might be diff’rent when you visit my Christmas tree. Santa, I may not be there, but will you please be there for me? I’m down on my knees. Santa, oh Santa, I sing this song for you. Santa, oh Santa, won’t you please, oh please come through? So listen to my story, It’s sad but it is true. I’m stuck at school this Christmas with nothing but the blues. Saint Nick, I promise I’ll get there. I’ll get home A S A P. Santa, please think of my welfare, ya gotta be there for me. Oh Santa, please hear my plea. Santa, please be there for me.

(Curtain closes.)

Beatriz: Being snowed in on Christmas is so hard on the children.

Gabriel: They all want to see Santa Claus, but I have a big problem. I am supposed to be playing Santa Claus at the annual party. I can’t get there when there’s eight feet of snow.

Beatriz: And Murrieta is unprepared. We have no snow plows.You better think of something. Those children want to see Santa Claus, skinny or not.

(The custodians exit. Children enter.)

Gavin: I’m hungry. At my house we start eating on Christmas Eve, and we don’t stop until New Years.

Sierra: I’m going to miss trimming the tree this year.

Mia: My cousins are supposed to be coming for a visit.

Johanna: I’ve got presents to wrap.

Gavin: I’m hungry!

Isabella: My family and I are going skiing, if we ever get out of here.

Isabella: We always go on a sleigh ride.

Zachary: Think of all the football bowl games I’m going to miss.

Gavin: I’m hungry!

Toby: I’ve got a dreidel to spin.

Josh: I need to light the Kwanzaa candles.

Parker: We always go see the Nutcracker ballet.

Gavin: I’m HUNGRY!

All: We know!

(Madeline enters with her phone.)

Madeline: Gloria? Gloria? I’m stuck at school. Don’t hang up Don’t you dare hang up, Gloria. Gloria? GLORIAAAH!!??

Song: Holiday House Party

Deck the halls, trim the tree, stringin’ up the lights. Here we are together, making season’s bright. Oh, hip hooray, holiday, hurry don’t be late. Time for my vacation, ev’rybody celebrate. Dashing room to room, we have to decorate. Someone get a broom before I graduate! We’re spreading Christmas cheer. You gotta do your part. So grab some tinsel, hang a wreath, and deck the halls with heart!

Toby: But we don’t even have a Menorrah to celebrate Hanukkah.

Meghan: I know! To the chemistry room!

Tori: Great idea! Line up those Bunsen burners.

Parker: Perfect! Use this lighter as a Shamas, and we’re set.

Brooke: Is that kosher?

Toby: Kosher? It’s a miracle!

Oh, Deck the halls, trim the tree, stringin’ up the lights. Here we are together, making season’s bright. Oh, hip hooray, holiday, hurry don’t be late. Time for my vacation, ev’rybody celebrate. What a Christmas thrill to take away the chill. Light the candles on the tree and cause a fire drill. I’m happy to report that ev’ry one supports An afternoon of ballet or a winter full of sports.

Parker: We can watch the Nutcracker on TV in the library!

Zachary: Are you kidding? The bowl games have already started. If the TV works, we’re watching football!

Parker: Nutcracker!

Zachary: Football!

Parker: Nutcracker!

Zachary: Football!

Parker: Football!

Zachary: Nutcracker!

Parker: Ha!

Give me a G! Give me an O! Let’s go! We should have a plan to make the most of it. Do the best we can. We have to make it fit. If you follow me, I can guarantee We can cook a meal in tubes from Chemistry! I’m hungry! We’re all hungry! To the cafeteria!

Grace H: But wait! All that’s left are leftovers. They’re ready for the dumpster.

All: Food fight!!!

Oh, Deck the halls, trim the tree, stringin’ up the lights. Here we are together, making season’s bright. Oh, hip hooray, holiday, hurry don’t be late. Time for my vacation, ev’rybody celebrate. Oh, Deck the halls, trim the tree, stringin’ up the lights. Here we are together, making season’s bright. Oh, hip hooray, holiday, hurry don’t be late. Time for my vacation, ev’rybody celebrate. Celebrate!

Beatriz: See kids, it’s not so bad. It could have been worse.

All: How?

Luisa: Well, just think. You could be stuck at school all alone, without your friends.

Tori: Well, I guess if I can’t be home with my family…

Bianca: Or on a sunny vacation south of the border…

Madeline: Or at the Promenade mall…

Grace O: Or on the stage…

Brooke: The next best place to be is here with all of my friends.

Meghan: I know that in the end, Christmas is what you make it.

Beatriz: That’s right kids. Christmas is not really about going on vacation or buying gifts or receiving expensive presents, or even playing games.

Madeline: Stupid cell phone. (sets it down.)

Brooke: It’s about being with people you care about.

Tori: And celebrating love, peace on Earth, good will toward men.

Song: Christmas with My Friends

Winter days are shorter now; Fires and candles glow. Little children wonder how Santa Claus will know. Who’s been naughty? Who’s been nice? Is it all pretend? I believe this Christmas Eve, I’ll share it with my friends. Holidays are ev’rywhere in your heart and mind.

Sparkling in the winter air, magic you will find. hand in hand and side by side, with love that neverends, Let it be just you and me and Christmas with my friends, my

Beatriz: Well, I’m sure glad that all of you have decided to count your blessings and see how lucky we are to get to spend our holiday vacation right here with all of our friends.

Mia: Hey, Miss Beatriz, whatever happened to Mr. Gabriel?

Beatriz: I don’t know. He seems to have disappeared. But look who’s here! (Santa enters.)

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!

All: It’s Santa!

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! I heard there were some students stuck at school for the holidays, so I got here as quickly as I could.

Sierra: Oh Santa! I know you’d be there for me!

Santa: Of course I would. I’m Santa Claus. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Beatriz: He looks a little skinny to me.

Gavin: He looks just right to me!

I’m so glad this Christmas Eve to share it all with you. In my heart I do believe wishes do come true. I’ll remember through the years, each Christmas card I send. Love to all as I recall this Christmas with my friends. I’ll remember through the years, each Christmas card I send. Love to all as I recall this Christmas with my friends.

Beatriz: We’re glad you finally made it Santa. (Stage whisper to Santa) Way to go, Gabriel! You are just in time! Hey, nice padding. Looks pretty fake, but I’ll give you an A for effort.

Santa: And who might you be?

Beatriz: Oh, right, good line. See you later when you get back to your second job – cleaning the school.

Santa: Whatever. In the meantime, I am happy to see that you young people have finally discovered that the joy and magic of the holidays were right in front of you all along.

Tori: That’s right, Santa. By being stuck here at school for our Christmas vacation, we’ve learnec that Christmas is not about what you get. It’s about what you have.

Parker: Like good friends!

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Exactly!

Beatriz: Way to go, Gabriel. You make a great substitute Santa, even if you are way too skinny. (Gabriel enters, walks up behind Beatriz, who does not see him.) Boy, oh, boy, you really had us going, Gabriel. Big belly. (She pokes Santa’s belly.) Pretty good fake beard. (She tugs on Santa’s beard.)

Santa: Ouch!

Gabriel: Beatriz?

Beatriz: Rosy cheeks. (She pinches Santa’s cheeks.)

Gabriel: Beatriz? (He taps her on the shoulder.) Oh, Beatriz. (She finally turns to see Gabriel.)

Beatriz: Knock it off, Gabriel. (She looks back and forth between Gabriel and Santa.) Gabriel! Gabriel? You’re Gabriel.

Gabriel: That’s right, same as ever.

Beatriz: But, who? But who are you?

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! (Beatriz faints.)

Madeline: (on the phone) Gloria, I’m hanging up for good now. Things are getting way too much fun here. Forget the mall, Gloria. I’m staying right here to share Christmas with my friends.

Gabriel: I just got word that the snow is slowing. The roads are open now, and we can all start our Christmas vacations immediately!

All: Hooray!!

Santa: In that case, I’d better be on my way because I, for one, have to work this holiday. Merry Christmas everybody! Merry Christmas one and all!

All: Merry Christmas!

Song: I Need a Christmas Vacation

We hope you liked our Christmas play, we hope you have a happy holiday. But the time has come for us to say We need a vacation now! So decorate the tree, donate to a cause, Go shopping at the mall, and wait for Santa Claus. We’ll take a Christmas vacation now! Happy holidays!