January 5, 2016 The Our 22nd Year of Publishing FREE Weekly (979) 849-5407 PLEASE Bulletin mybulletinnewspaper.com © 2016 TAKE ONE LAKE JACKSON • CLUTE • RICHWOOD • FREEPORT • OYSTER CREEK • ANGLETON DANBURY • ALVIN • WEST COLUMBIA • BRAZORIA • SWEENY Gulf Coast When the winters Hoping for more shorts and T-shirt weather brain stops By John Toth Editor and Publisher The temperature was mild, although a little muggy. People functioning were running around in shorts and T-shirts, doing last-minute holiday shop- ping. This is right the way we like to dress in December The Gathering Place Brain along the Texas Gulf RAMBLINGS Health Fair and Benefit on Coast. Jan. 9 offers solutions It’s a lot more comfortable to dress down while pushing through The Gathering Place Brain Health Fair and the crowds to get that advertised Benefit, set for Saturday, Jan. 9, at the Brazoria sale than wearing four layers of County Fairgrounds in Angleton, is the county- clothing. That could slow down wide annual fundraiser for the free congrega- forward progress to the checkout tion-based socials for people with Alzheimer’s counter. disease (and related dementias) and the A friend mentioned the other Gathering Place’s educational programs, the day that he is ready for weather Brazoria County Alzheimer’s Awareness Project under 70 degrees. I’m not. While and Brain Camp. The MEGA Brain will be there, much of the country was either in along with high-energy exercise demonstrations, a deep freeze or dodging torna- an athleisure style show, physician’s talks, raffle, does, the friend was complaining silent auction and much more. that it was too warm and a bit The star of this year’s event is the MEGA humid. I’ll take warm and humid. Brain, an 18’ x 14’ x 12’ anatomically correct, Another friend posted on Face- inflatable brain. “You enter through the frontal book a picture of the instrument lobe and exit the cerebellum. Our brain tour panel of her car as they made guides will demonstrate normal brain function their way to Colorado. It showed and point out the effects of various diseases that the outside temperature was and disorders of the brain,” explained Rev. Craig -20 degrees. In my opinion, her King, Pastor of First Presbyterian Church in temperature gauge was broken. Alvin. King is the Gathering Place’s director and That is just too cold. Heck, 20 Continued on Page 9 (Continued on Page 4)
INSIDE THIS ISSUE ‘Elvis’ is in the building Billy Wayde Harris has been told that he looks a lot like Elvis Presley, which he does. And he sounds a lot like him also. Check out his upcoming show at The Clarion, featured on Page 7. Page 2 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com Putin gets F as Ukraine invasion hurts Russian economy Amazon reports record holiday haul Bloomberg News (TNS) est grades. crisis set off with Putin’s incursion The Seattle Times (TNS) NEW YORK — Let the blame “All the economic miseries are into Ukraine last year, which started SEATTLE — Christmas was good to Amazon.com. game over Russia’s economic amplified by international sanctions when oil prices were near $110 a The Seattle-based company said it posted record numbers in a variety of travails begin. which were brought upon Russia by barrel. categories, but offered few details of its holiday haul. President Vladimir Putin scored its foreign policy in Ukraine,” said The ruble has lost about 50 As it has done every year for the past several years, the online retail giant an F, the lowest possible, from Nerijus Maciulis, chief economist percent of its value since Putin provided some morsels of its success during the most important shopping 27 percent of respondents in a at Swedbank AB in Vilnius, Lithu- requested parliamentary approval to season of the year without actually disclosing the sort of financial informa- Bloomberg survey that invited them ania. “And the man who presumably deploy troops in Ukraine on March tion investors crave. to assess his management of the orchestrated them deserves only 1, 2014. The company noted, for example, that it added more than 3 million economy in crisis. An additional 50 an F.” Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev members worldwide to its Prime subscription service during the third week percent gave him the next two poor- Russia is paying the price for a and the rest of the cabinet were of December. But it did not disclose the overall number of Prime members, each given a C more often than any other than to say it’s in the “tens of millions worldwide.” of the other grades. The company also said that sales of Amazon devices “doubled last year’s record-setting holiday shopping season with millions of devices sold.”
DUDE, I AM SOOOO BAKED: Police responded to a call in Aus- tintown, Ohio, from a man who reported that he had smoked marijuana and was “too high.” They heard him groaning and entered the residence, where they found him “on the floor in the fetal position.” He was sur- rounded by “a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies.” He told them that he couldn’t feel his hands. I MEAN I LOVE HER AND EVERYTHING, BUT YA’ KNOW…: A man stole his former boss’ pickup truck and pushed it into a creek in Tennes- see so that he would be sent to jail because he wanted to get away from Look for us on his wife. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT!? A man robbed an auto parts store in Facebook Apple Valley, Calif., while wearing a maxi pad on his face as a mask. HEY, I’M THE VICTIM HERE! A 53-year-old man called the police emergency number in Spartanburg, S.C., to complain that his girlfriend refused to have relations with him. When the cops showed up, he was outside the residence drinking booze, so they arrested him for public intoxication. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT: A goat walked into the entranceway of a restaurant in Warman, Saskatchewan, to escape the cold, and refused to leave. Employees kept walking the animal outside, but he kept coming back in through the automatic doors. Finally, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police came and took the goat away. I REST MY CASE: A female reporter for the BBC was filming a report in Nottingham, England, which said that many women are sexually ABOUT US harassed or have “obscenities shouted at them in the street.” During the segment, a man walked by and yelled a sexually explicit remark at her. John and Sharon AND HE CALLS HIMSELF A BUSINESSMAN!? A woman called Toth, Owners and police from outside her drug dealer’s home in Fort Meyers, Fla., to report Publishers that she had purchased a 7-gram bag of marijuana but he had given her Since July 4, 1994 only 6.4 grams. She was arrested. DON’T YOU USUALLY FIGHT CRIME? A man, wearing a Superman THE BULLETIN is distrib- shirt while burglarizing a house in Upper Darby, Pa., was interrupted by uted each Tuesday by J&S the homeowner and fled the scene on a bicycle with the man’s laptop. Communications, Inc.. E-mail He was arrested in West Philadelphia, trying to sell the computer while letters and press releases still wearing the Superman shirt. to [email protected]. WHAT GAVE ME AWAY? Police arrested a man for drunk driving Faxed or mailed in Riverside, Ill., and left him in the back seat of the cruiser while they announce- checked on a passenger in his car. They turned on the camera in their ments are no longer vehicle, which recorded the guy drunkenly talking to himself about get- accepted. For advertising ting home and hiding the weapons and drugs he had hidden there. The information, call (979) 849- cops got a search warrant. You know the rest. 5407. Advertising and news I’LL JUST OPEN THIS UP AND … OUCH! A man tried to shoplift release deadline is 5 p.m. a wireless phone from a Walmart in South Union Township, Pa. While Tuesday. using a knife to cut open the packaging, he stabbed himself in the arm. Our 22st year of publishing! www.mybulletinnewspaper.com (979) 849-5407 January 5, 2016 THE BULLETIN Page 3 By Bill Sones Strange but True and Rich Sones, Ph.D. Home field advantage at home in 2011. “Particularly in via “wearable” sensors to provide football, a boisterous crowd can on-the-go physiological data, says Q. If you want your pro sports interfere with a visiting team’s ability Emily Waltz in “IEEE Spectrum” team to be winning games at to communicate strategy.” magazine. Nearly half of the NFL home right before your eyes, In baseball, the home field will be wearing OptimEye S5, a what sport should you be follow- advantage may be due to the device that sits over the upper back ing? fact that each stadium is unique, inside a compression garment and A. Best bet would be basketball, and the home team can best take utilizes “accelerometers, magne- where home teams overall win 60% advantage of its stadium’s quirks. tometers, gyroscopes, and a GPS of their games (vs. 40% on the Finally, referees can also be receiver to record as many as 100 road), followed by football at 57% of a factor in scoring more wins: data points per second.” games (vs. 42% road wins), hockey According to a 2011 analysis of ref- Coaches can access this data at 55% (vs. 45%) and baseball eree bias, officials -- influenced by in real time on the sidelines to at 54% (vs. 46%), reports “Time” the crowd -- were “prone to make monitor a player’s acceleration, magazine. “Grueling travel can take calls in favor of the home team.” deceleration, change of direction, a toll on visitors, especially in the jump height, and distance traveled, NBA and NHL, where many road Sport science “keeping tabs on how hard players games are back-to-back.” are working and to prevent injuries Q. Today’s elite athletes are Yet there are a few oddities resulting from overtraining.” to keep in mind: The Baltimore being fitted with biometric gad- Ravens have a “perfectly average” getry to enhance their perfor- Edible math record of 43% on the road while mance. What’s in store for pro sporting a “killer” record of 78% at footballers this season? Q. Trying to get your kids more home, over a 10-year period. Inter- A. Measurements that used interested in math, you grab a estingly, the team lost every 2005 to require bulky and costly lab bag of carrots from the refrigera- e “food road game but were undefeated equipment today are being taken tor and serve them up som for thought.” Like what? A. Have them slice up individual She should be fairly easy to find carrots in as many geometric The San Diego Union-Tribune (TNS) shapes as they can, says Penelope SAN DIEGO — A man was stabbed by a 400-pound, bearded woman Dunham in “Food for (Mathemati- soon after asking a group of people for a cigarette in San Diego’s East Vil- cal) Thought,” as reprinted in “The lage, police said. Best Writing on Mathematics, After the 39-year-old man asked for the cigarette, a woman walked up to 2014,” edited by Mircea Pitici. They him and stabbed him in the neck, police said. The man, whose injury was not begin by cutting straight across the life-threatening, was taken to a hospital. The assailant was wearing a white diameter of one nice round carrot to shirt and jeans. reveal a carrot circle, then turning it lengthwise, they cut it in half to yield a carrot rectangle, or a carrot paral- lelogram, or even a carrot triangle as it tapers into a tip. Ask them to cut more at an angle to create a carrot ellipse or conic section. Now back to the refrigerator. Do they want a piece of pi (pie)? How big? Pi times the radius of the pie squared gives its area, which can be divided by 2, 3, 4... to yield different degrees of pie sizes and eating volume (multiply by the pie’s thickness). Finally, making sure to include a sweet reward, have them take a bag of M&M’s and count to see if the colors are uniformly distrib- uted, or rather randomly varied, or perhaps according to some specific color profile. As Dunham says, “Everything goes better with food,” even math. (Send STRANGE questions to brothers Bill and Rich at [email protected]) Page 4 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com
Texas Gulf Coast winters: I’m hoping for more short and T-shirt weather in the subtropics (Continued from Page 1) ers and friends got together and enough garbage in the atmosphere blustering cold front and made the ‘I bet you miss the Gulf Coast on the plus side is still too cold, or played a little guitar and sang some to make it do just about anything, quickest bathroom stop in history. winters,” I told him. even 40. Why would anyone go songs while consuming cold bever- and the Asian countries and many A friend who moved away from “Yeah, but I don’t miss the Gulf outside on purpose and ski down a ages outdoors in late December in others poison it more daily. That’s here many years ago complained Coast summers,” he replied. mountain in -20 degree weather? 80-degree weather. I soon came not fog in Beijing. Wearing a mask recently about the days of non-stop “We have a solutions for that,” I My mother used to spend to the conclusion that living in cold is not going to filter out the smog rain and sleet at his current location countered. “Air conditioning and the Christmas with us, and I could tell states was not for me. those people are inhaling. in the Northwest. beach.” that she enjoyed the 70-ish temps Back in those days, we enjoyed Some people like to rub it in when in December. Then, when she left the mild weather without worrying the rest of us get cold. after New Year’s, it turned cold. But if it was normal or made that way My buddy in Florida is posting Honest Tea dumps Trump bottle cap quotes all she knew was that the Texas by global warming, because we Facebook selfies of himself lying on Chicago Tribune (TNS) Gulf Coast weather is magical. She didn’t know anything about global a beach there. My buddy in Belize Honest Tea, an organic tea-maker based in Bethesda, Md., says it is couldn’t stop bragging about it to warming. does the same regularly, especially removing bottle caps with a Donald Trump quote on them, but not because her friends. Now, some people have to point when half of our country is under of the Republican presidential candidate’s political views or gaffes. I once drove on the New York out while I am basking in the winter snow. I would also if I were over Questions about the quote surfaced on Twitter on Sunday, when an image Throughway in November and had sunshine that the globe is getting there. of the bottle cap was tweeted by Paul Shapiro, who works for the Humane to cut the trip short because of a warmer. You mean, the winter heat One year I drove the family to Society of the U.S. He tweeted: “Funny that the bottle of @HonestTea I blizzard heading our way. I made it along the Gulf Coast indicates that Orlando to be even warmer in just bought quotes @realDonaldTrump on the cap.” The quote attributed to back safely, but the storm shut down the planet is melting? But it was also December than here (and also to Trump is: “If you’re going to think anyway, you might as well think big.” the road for four days. Then I made warm 35 years ago, and back then, see Mickey and friends), and it was Honest Tea responded to the tweet, saying the quote was in the process my way to a warmer climate. we thought the Earth was cooling. like an East Coast summer the of being removed, but it’s not because of politics.. When I worked in Bay City in the I’m not arguing about climate whole time we were there. On the Honest Tea co-founder Seth Goldman said the company has been phas- late 1970s, a bunch of my co-work- change, pro or con. Heck, we put way back to Texas, we ran into a ing out the use of quotes by living people over the last several years. www.mybulletinnewspaper.com (979) 849-5407 January 5, 2016 THE BULLETIN Page 5 Salaries for 2016 to increase as we move to full employment By Don Lee lows, there are growing indications Mark Zandi, chief economist at Tribune Washington Bureau (TNS) that ordinary workers are finally research firm Moody’s Analytics. WASHINGTON — American starting to reap some of the gains of “I think it’ll be a breakout year (in workers are poised in 2016 to finally the 6 1/2-year-old recovery. 2016) for wage growth.” get what they’ve been missing for A variety of wage and salary If average workers’ pay does rise years - higher salaries. statistics — from payroll proces- significantly, it should give a nice Even as the recovery from the sors, private analysts and Federal boost to consumer spending, the Great Recession brought booming Reserve researchers — indicate key driver of U.S. economic growth. corporate profits, most workers’ that the underlying rate of pay It should also increase consumption salaries have barely kept up with increase for workers has been pick- among lower- and middle-income inflation. But now, as the nation ing up much more in the last year households. edges ever closer to full employ- than commonly thought. Economic growth in 2016 is ment and with layoffs near historical “We’re at a turning point,” said projected to remain moderate, but about half a point stronger than this All-Star Wrestling comes to Brazoria year’s pace of a little more than 2 The Brazoria Heritage Foundation will host a Texas All-Star Wrestling percent. (TASWrestling.com) event on Saturday, Jan. 16, at the Lloyd Thomas Moody’s estimated that the Gym, 205 N. Nevada, Brazoria. average pay for full-time workers Doors will open at 6 p.m. with the first of six matches beginning at 7 who have kept their jobs grew 4.1 p.m. Tickets are available at the Brazoria Chamber of Commerce or by percent in the third quarter from a reservation. Call Bob Schwebel at (979) 236-0241. Adults are $15; Stu- year earlier. That’s about double the dents 6-18 years $10, or under six years, free. hourly wage increase for all private- Food and drinks will be available. sector workers. Page 6 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com Program teaches how to grow and can your own food What does canning, vegetable announce the 2016 Backyard consumers, backyard gardeners, gardening, Dutch oven cook- Basics Program series. homemakers, educators and farm- ing and raising chickens have in Backyard Basics promotes ers with “do-it-yourself” learning common? healthy living by providing resi- opportunities. They are all topics of the Back- dents of Brazoria County infor- Program topics include first yard Basics Program series. mation about the benefits of steps to planting a garden, plant The Brazoria County AgriLife homegrown and homemade foods. propagation, chicken care and egg Extension service is pleased to Ten programs will provide production, water bath canning, organic and non-organic pest and My Answer by Billy Graham disease control, pressure canning, rabbit care and meat production, Don’t underestimate the wages fall gardening, cooking unusual vegetables and cast iron and of sin – or God’s eternal love Dutch oven cooking. Q: Why should I be held responsible for what Adam and Eve did thou- Registration is open now, and sands of years ago? I know the Bible says they sinned and were judged the first program “Beginning a as a result, but why should God judge me for what they did? - Z.K. Garden: The First Steps” is Jan. 9, A: God doesn’t judge us for what someone else did; we alone are from 10 a.m-12 pm. responsible for our sin, and we alone will stand before God to give an Programs are $20 per class if account of what we’ve done. The Bible solemnly warns, “The one who sins you pre-register and $25 dollars is the one who will die. (Ezekiel 18:4) at the door. Registration for all 10 You are, however, correct when you say that Adam and Eve’s sin affects classes is $150. us all. They lived in a perfect world, without sin or imperfection of any For further information on these kind. Moreover, they experienced unbroken fellowship with God and with programs, please contact the each other. But one day Satan tempted them, and his temptation was Brazoria County AgriLife Extension very strong: He told them they would become like God if they only turned office at (979) 864-1558. to him. In a moment of weakness, they believed Satan’s lie, and they To register online, and for disobeyed God. The result was catastrophic, bringing death and sin into a complete list of dates for all their world - and into ours. classes, please see our website at Why must we live with the consequences of what they did? The reason brazoria.agrilife.org. is because they did exactly what we would have done if we’d been in their place. Just as your representative in Congress votes in your place, so Adam and Eve “voted” in our place. The Bible says, “Sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned” (Romans 5:12). Don’t ever underestimate sin’s terrible consequences. But don’t ever underestimate God’s great love, either! “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Tribune Media Services (Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Asso- ciation, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.) Sponsors of this column www.mybulletinnewspaper.com (979) 849-5407 January 5, 2016 THE BULLETIN Page 7
Billy Wayde Harris brings Elvis to Clarion Billy Wayde Harris’ “Mirror Images of Elvis & Las Vegas Legends” will appear at The Clarion on Saturday, Jan. 9, at 7 p.m. The performance will feature a Beach Boys’ tribute by The Coast- liners; a Marilyn Monroe tribute by Kristy Casey; Lisa Marie tribute by Amy Lorraine Harris, and a 50s-60s Rock ‘n Roll tribute by Heath Spen- cer Phillips. Born in Spokane, Wash., Billy Wayde now resides in Surfside and portrays Elvis in films, contests and various revues, including at Sam Houston Race Park four times. He also has entertained Elvis fans at various clubs, civic centers, restaurants, (including the Hard Rock Cafe in Houston four times and the Rainforest Cafe in Galves- ton 2013-2014)), festivals, fairs and theaters, including the former Lake Theater in Lake Jackson, as well as on cruises. Harris has recorded with Camelot records and became interested in impersonating Elvis due to an overwhelming physical resemblance and voice. He has won first place in many Elvis contests across the state and country. He sold out his concert four times at the Old Town Theater in Hunts- ville, Texas, ranked in the Top 10 of “Images of the King” world competi- tion in Memphis Tenn., entertained at the Isle of Capri Casino in Biloxi, Miss. as well as had standing room only at The Conroe Creighton. He also has been featured on various TV shows and newscasts. For tickets, call The Clarion at (979) 230-3156. The Clarion is located at 500 College Dr., Lake Jackson, 77566. To publicize your group or community event, please send your announcement to [email protected]. Page 8 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com www.mybulletinnewspaper.com (979) 849-5407 January 5, 2016 THE BULLETIN Page 9 The Gathering Place plans Brain Health Fair at Brazoria County Fairgrounds on Jan. 9 (Continued from Page 1) proclaimed. working together to help families Vargas, and Dottie Mensik plan the everyone. You won’t want to miss coordinates three Gathering Places Physician’s Talks affected by Alzheimer’s disease, sale, and last year more than 100 it!” Proceeds from the event benefit in Alvin. Dale Libby, Coordinator of the and we strive to make our baked women provided baked items.” the Brazoria County Gathering “The Gathering Place and the Brazoria County Alzheimer’s Aware- items really spectacular. Regents Libby said, “This is going to be Place Interfaith Ministeries, Inc., a Brazoria County Alzheimer’s ness Project and the Brain Health Lori Greak, Mamie Sanchez, Rose a great event with something for 501(c)3 non-profit organization. Awareness Project are associated Fair Event Chairman said, “We are with neurodegenerative diseases, excited to have Dr. Leanne Burnett, but this year, because we have Medical Director of Neurology at the MEGA Brain, we are including Methodist St. John Hospital, and Dr. education about developmental and Qiangiun Cai, Assistant Professor, psychological disorders,” King said. Division of Cardiology at UTMB, as At some point in their lives, 48% presenters at our Fair.” The doctors, of all people are affected by one of and a couple of educators, will these disorders, he explained. address brain disorders across the Exercise Demonstrations lifespan – developmental, psychiat- “The Brain Health Fair will feature ric and neurodegenerative. exhibits from 30+ healthcare provid- Raffle Prizes ers, but that’s where any resem- Raffle tickets will be sold at the blance to a traditional health fair Gathering Place table from 9 a.m. ends,” Fawncyne Worley, Gathering until noon. Tickets are $5 each or Place board member, asserted. 11 for $50. The top prize is a hand “Personal trainer Merie Abercrom- made wine barrel table and stools. bie will kick off exercise demonstra- Second prize is two tickets to see tions at 9 a.m. Every 20 minutes, the Houston Rockets game on Jan. we’ll have high-energy demonstra- 22, with dinner and a hotel room tions— Jazzercise, Tai Chi, Zumba, in downtown Houston that night. line dancing, and Yoga are a few Third prize is a “Girls Night Out” examples. We will encourage fair with dinner for six in Lake Jackson, attendees to exercise with us!” a limousine ride to Town Center at Gathering Place Brain Camp Country Village in Angleton, and a Coordinator Erika Longoria “chick” flick with dessert. The draw- explained that physical exercise is ing will be at 12:45 pm that day. being emphasized at the Brain Fair “You don’t have to be present to because it is a critical component of win, but we would love it if you were brain health. “Many people say they there when we announced your don’t have time for exercise, but the name,” said Libby. truth is they haven’t found a type Silent Auction of exercise they enjoy. We want to Sherri Archer is managing the demonstrate different exercises so Silent Auction again this year. “We people can join in the fun and try will have two categories of items, out several types,” Longoria said. and the “Significant” category Athleisure Style Show will have “Buy It Now” prices (like Help, Inc. owner Eileen Pinkerton eBay), so that you don’t have to was so impressed with the Brain wait for the auction to be finished,” Health Fair in 2014 that she volun- she said. teered to help with the 2016 event. And much more… “There was so much energy in the Texas AgriLife Extension Service room, and people really had a good will return to cook several healthy time! They came and stayed to see recipes and offer samples. The what was going to happen next!” Gathering Place ladies from Alvin she said. Pinkerton is directing will be preparing chicken salad and the Athleisure Style Show, featur- charcuterie plates for sale. Java ing well-known regional athletes. Rocks will serve flavored coffee and “Athleisure clothing can be worn as some exotic blends. Screenings active wear or for leisure—it’s all for blood pressure, pulse, oxygen, about the fabric and the cut. Our vision and memory will be available. models include runners, spinners, For the third year, members of four exercise instructors, Ironmen, Catholic Daughters Courts from hikers, and even people who wade Angleton, Brazoria, Clute, and Lake fish! We want people to know that Jackson will provide home-cooked they have an inner athlete just desserts. Rebecca Brown, Texas waiting to come out! It’s never too State Secretary of Catholic Daugh- late to get physical,” Pinkerton ters of America said, “We enjoy Page 10 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com SIDELINE CHATTER Peter Funt suggests some candid New Year’s resolutions for the media By Dwight Perry By Peter Fun debates. We get it: News organi- spring is OK for dramatic series. up with bleeped words. The Seattle Times (TNS) Special to The Bulletin zations are enamored with social But “The Walking Dead” and “The 11. Stick with terms we know. Clemson players might love My personal New Year’s resolu- media, but you don’t need to prove Blacklist” and so many others wear Media get carried away when new their coach, but Mom never tions are usually epic fails, so this it by interrupting a presidential viewers out with contrived “Fall expressions that few of us under- makes them run laps year I’m making a dozen resolu- debate with a random Facebook Finales” that leave us hanging from stand enter the zeitgeist. FOMO Robbie Caldwell, tough on his tions for the media, starting with... question from “Joe in Michigan.” November to January. (fear of missing out), No Chill (too Clemson charges? You bet he is, 1. No more “Breaking News.” 4. #EnoughWiththeHashtags. 7. Eliminate all commercials for uptight to chill out), Squad (your but … This resolution is especially impor- Speaking of social media, resolve FanDuel and DraftKings. group or clique) - they’re all uncoo “If you ask them, they’ll tell you tant if you work at a cable news to ease up on meaningless 8. Don’t pollute the streams. Paid (an adjective used to describe nobody loves them more than I channel where the term has lost hashtags. Things like #JeSuis are streaming services like Netflix and something that’s uncool). do,” the Tigers’ O-line coach told whatever smidgen of relevance it #Nolongercool. Amazon shouldn’t become dump- 12. Play the hits. Next Decem- reporters at the Orange Bowl. once had, and is now indistinguish- 5. Dump the “7-Day Forecast.” ing grounds for “originals” featuring ber, radio stations should resolve to “Maybe their parents, but I’m not able from what used to be called, Face it, even with modern technol- good stars in bad shows. We’re stick with original versions of holi- sure in some cases.” simply, “News.” ogy, meteorologists still struggle to talking about you, Bill Murray, Bob day favorites. There’s nothing jolly NFL headlines 2. Tweets are not news. If Trump predict tomorrow’s weather. The Odenkirk and Aziz Ansari. about a Seth MacFarlane cover of —At Fark.com: “Chargers fine tweets that Bush is “Dumb as a “long range” outlook? It’s no better 9. Quit being so hyper with links. a Bing Crosby Christmas classic. Eric Weddle $10,000 for watching rock,” don’t rush to make a story than a coin flip. And Accuweather’s Much of what’s published nowa- Also, resolve to literally never his daughter perform in halftime out of it. If you must, remember, it’s “45-day forecast”? LOL. days is digital, and one benefit is use “epic fails” in an opening show/NFL: Football is Family.” not breaking, and it’s not News. 6. Avoid mid-season TV cliff- linking to sources. Thing is, too sentence. And, in 2016, don’t ever, —At SportsPickle.com: “Jerry 3. Skip social media questions at hangers. One cliffhanger each many links make for unattractive under any circumstance, even if it Jones: ‘I knew Brandon Weeden displays and give readers head- fits, say or write “literally.” was a 1st-place quarterback.’ ” aches due to linkophobia. Peter Funt is a writer and Hold the pretzels 10. Don’t cop to cursing. Maybe speaker. His book, “Cau- “Mean Gene” Okerlund, the Jon Stewart gets the blame for tiously Optimistic,” is avail- retired rasslin’ announcer, cel- teasing us with too many faux able at Amazon.com and ebrated his 70th birthday at the bleeps. It’s now infected almost CandidCamera.com. © 2015 Peter Waterfront restaurant in Sarasota, everyone on TV - from John Oliver Funt. Columns distributed exclu- Fla. to the cast of SNL. A bad joke sively by Cagle Cartoons, Inc., In keeping with the theme, the doesn’t get funnier when propped newspaper syndicate. daily special was sauteed cauli- flower ears and pulled hare. He swears by it According to a Language Journal study, people who curse and use foul language have more extensive vocabularies than those who don’t. Coincidence? DeMarcus Cousins suddenly answers to the nickname “Merriam-Webster.” Hey, batter, batter If the Mariners are in the market for another fearsome bat, the Carolina Panthers might have one available. Chipping out Chip Kelly fired in Philadelphia? Score that one Questions and Answers about your Social Security Eagles 7, Egos 0. Talking the talk Should I replace my lost card and how? —Comedian Argus Hamilton, Tribune News Service (TNS) after ESPN’s Ron Jaworski incor- Q: I can’t seem to find my Social Security card. Do I need to get a rectly announced that the NFL replacement? had overturned Odell Beckham’s A: In most cases, knowing your Social Security number is enough. But, one-game suspension: “Jaworski if you do apply for and receive a replacement card, don’t carry that card was the host of ‘NFL Today,’ but with you. Keep it with your important papers. For more information about now he’s the host of the Miss your Social Security card and number, and for information about how to Universe Pageant.” apply for a replacement, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/ssnumber. If you —Steve Simmons of the believe you’re the victim of identity theft, read our publication Identity Theft Toronto Sun, declaring American and Your Social Security Number, at www.socialsecurity.gov/pubs. Pharoah’s Triple Crown as the year’s best performance by a (This column was prepared by the Social Security Administration. For fast answers nonhuman athlete: “Runner-up: to specific Social Security questions, contact Social Security toll-free at 800-772- Steph Curry. 1213 or visit www.socialsecurity.gov.) www.mybulletinnewspaper.com (979) 849-5407 January 5, 2016 THE BULLETIN Page 11 Escaping balloon sparks $300k in claims The Baltimore Sun (TNS) BALTIMORE — The Army has received more than $300,000 in claims from a dozen people who say their property was damaged when one of the massive surveillance balloons anchored at Aberdeen Proving Ground escaped in October. The payout requests await review by Army officials, spokesman Dov Schwartz said. He did not release details of the claims. The unmanned balloon, which carries radar designed to spot airborne threats targeting Washington, broke free of its moorings Oct. 28 and drifted 160 miles north. It trailed 6,700 feet of cable as it traveled at an average speed of 40 miles per hour. The military scrambled jets to track the errant aircraft, and people on the ground joined in the exercise, filling the Internet with photos and comments. It snapped power lines as it floated across rural Pennsylvania, and com- munities along its path reported power outages. It finally came to rest in Moreland Township, north of Harrisburg. Claims could increase. People have up to two years to file, Schwartz said,
If you enjoy entering our contests and reading the paper each week, let us ask you one little favor in return. Please let our advertisers know that you saw their ads in The Bulletin. And, always shop at your locally owned stores and businesses first. That way, we all profit. Page 12 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com Not your father’s locomotive: Speeding through Europe by bullet train By Rick Steves If you’re not a bird, bullet trains I used to love taking night trains, hours), but unless you really enjoy ity-clackity rhythm of the rails. It’s Tribune Content Agency allow you to maximize sightseeing, as they let you skip the cost of a the romance of having dinner in been replaced by a nearly silent European train travel is easier making once time-consuming trips hotel and gain a day of sightseeing. Paris and waking up to breakfast swoosh, as futuristic trains cut like and better than ever, thanks to a breeze. For instance, you can But as daytime trains have gotten in Venice, a budget flight is both bullets through the green and tidy faster trains, new routes, and get from Munich to Nuremberg in faster and flights have become faster and cheaper. countryside. additional amenities to keep you just one hour, or from Frankfurt to more affordable, overnight trains Despite the convenience of Rick Steves writes European comfortable and entertained on the Cologne in less than 90 minutes, have dwindled. For example, you flying, I still opt for trains whenever travel guidebooks and hosts journey. For me, there’s nothing making it easy to day trip to these can no longer sleep your way from possible. To me, they’re a quintes- travel shows on public television better than stretching out in a quiet cities. The journey between Bar- Amsterdam to Prague or from sential European experience and and public radio. Email him at car, blitzing through the European celona and Madrid takes less than Barcelona to Madrid. For now, a a more environmentally friendly [email protected] and follow his countryside, with hours of uninter- three hours - comparable to the service called Thello is continuing way to travel. In fact, today’s blog on Facebook.) rupted time to think and write. amount of time it would take to trek the tradition of Paris to Venice night trains are so quiet and efficient (c)2015 RICK STEVES Recently, I spent seven hours to the airport, wait an hour, and fly. trains (travel time: 13 and a half that I almost miss the old clack- DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC. on one of Europe’s luxurious bullet While France’s high-speed rail trains. At 12:14 p.m., I settled into once linked mostly just French my seat, and at cities, recently it 12:16 p.m., the has started to pro- train was gliding Europe’s new vide direct service out of the station. bullet trains into neighboring In no time, I was countries, zipping rocketing toward are sleek travelers from my next destina- Paris to Milan in tion, writing and and fast, but seven hours and enjoying every they can also Munich or Barce- moment. The lona in six. Travel- speedometer in be costly. ers don’t need to my train car was change trains at a little shy - only Planning ahead the border, and being illuminated travel times will when it exceeded and purchasing continue to drop 300 kilometers tickets early, as sections of Italy’s high-speed Frecce trains, per hour (that’s track get updated such as this one, can get you nearly 200 miles however, will each year. from Milan to Rome in less than per hour). The ride reduce the Fast trains three hours. (Dominic Arizona was smooth and aren’t necessarily Bonuccelli/Rick Steves’ Europe). silent, with pristine price. cheap, but you pastoral country- can often find Bullet trains: side beyond the good deals if you tinted windows and then, zip, we plan ahead. As with plane tickets, Did you know? were pulling into the station. train prices can vary depending on • High-speed trains have cut Europe’s new bullet trains are demand, restrictions, and how early travel time by 43% between Brus- sleek. In fact, they’re so sleek that you purchase. For instance, nonre- sels and Frankfurt, and by more when a city has an old-fashioned, fundable or nonrebookable tickets than 60% (from 4 hours 52 minutes dead-end train station, fast trains can be cheaper, and purchasing to 1 hour 51 minutes) between Brus- often don’t even bother to stop in tickets in advance can save you sels and London. So far, the speed the city itself, but at a pass-through money. Tickets are usually available record was 574.8 km/h reached by suburban station instead. New sta- about three months in advance, and a TGV in April 2007. tions are designed - at the insis- the earlier you buy, the better, as • Train journeys can be faster tence of the train companies - to be the cheapest rates sell out quickly. than short and medium distance pass-through stations. Everything’s To find the best deals, visit that flights. This applies in particular to going very fast these days, and country’s rail website. high-speed lines over distances of there’s just no time to pull in, then You’ll also find more options (and up to 800 km. A 400 km journey by back out. sometimes better deals) on train high-speed train can be up to an I was recently in the Munich train tickets in countries where there hour faster than covering the same station taking pictures of trains are multiple rail operators. While distance by plane. pulling into the station; more specifi- national railway companies once • The Thalys high-speed train cally I was taking a photo of what controlled each country’s train through France, Belgium, Germany was once a cute little bird that had service, in some places they now and the Netherlands has to adapt to smashed into the front window of share the high-speed market. For seven different signalling systems. the train. When I saw that little bird, instance, the Austrian Federal Rail- The EU currently uses seven gauge I thought two things: First, this is a way, which operates the fast RailJet sizes and seven types of electric dangerous continent if you happen service, now has competition from currents (with different voltages and to be a slow bird. the privately owned WESTbahn. frequencies). www.mybulletinnewspaper.com (979) 849-5407 January 5, 2016 THE BULLETIN Page 13 Humorist Will Durst offers his political forecast for 2016 Penguin chicks hatch at Moody Gardens By Will Durst MARCH 20: A flag factory in New AUGUST: Absolutely noth- Santa made a special delivery for the second time in the past three Special to The Bulletin Jersey bans all photo-ops by Presi- ing happens in August, and it is days to the Moody Gardens Aquarium Pyramid, bringing two new Gentoo It’s hard to believe, but we’re on dential aspirants in an attempt to get reported upon at great length. penguin chicks to the exhibit. The new additions to the South Atlantic the brink of another presidential some work done. OCTOBER 4: The Vice Presiden- Exhibit brings the total number of Gentoo penguins from 10 to 12. The election year. APRIL 16: Ronald Reagan is tial debate is beaten in the ratings parents of both the Gentoo chicks are Marvin and Wiley. Just days after a Southern Rockhopper penguin hatched at Moody Gar- Let us pray. Every quadrennial, reported to be in a Swiss spa get- by a Weather Channel special on ting transfusions of Keith Richards’ topsoil. Two days later, the DEA dens, the Gentoos made their debut in the Aquarium Pyramid where they the American political process plays reside with 80 other King, Macaroni, Rockhopper, Chinstrap and Gentoo out as a big-top carnival sideshow blood. “Draft Reagan” groups spring rules it illegal to stream a recording up in 37 states. of it while driving. penguins. These new chicks mark another successful breeding season at featuring moral contortionists, the Association of Zoos and Aquariums accredited facility. : A New York Times poll ethical geeks and fat, sweaty white APRIL 29 OCTOBER 19: No Presidential “While we have had quite a few Gentoo chicks we are always thrilled says 40 percent of the American guys teetering on slack media wires. candidate personally appears at the to welcome the next generation. We are having a banner year and are public sees a need for a third party. Fortunately, we Americans have final debate. Instead, spin-doctors hoping that it continues into next year as well,” said Diane Olsen, Assis- become as resilient to this format as APRIL 30: Ben Carson give detailed answers as to how the tant Curator. fourth-generation cockroaches are announces he will run as a third- candidates would have responded if Adult Gentoo penguins have yellow feet, making them unique in the to watered-down insecticide. party candidate. particular questions were asked in a Moody Gardens exhibit. Gentoo penguins are currently listed as “lower To show how familiar, we here at APRIL 31: A USA Today poll says certain way. risk-near threatened” by the International Union for Conservation of Durstco have compiled a political 43 percent of the American public NOVEMBER 8: In a concerted Nature and Natural Resources. Because of their strong popularity, pen- forecast of what to expect over sees a need for a fourth party. effort not to encourage these hypo- guins play an influential role as ambassadors for wildlife conservation. the coming year. Clip and save. All JULY 18: In Cleveland, the critical tools, the public stays away The small, fuzzy birds can be seen at the South Atlantic exhibit with dates are approximate. Your mile- Republican National Convention from the polls in record numbers. the other Moody Gardens penguins. The public can watch the pen- age may differ. outlines a platform that proposes NOVEMBER 9: The losing party’s guins in the Aquarium Pyramid or on the Live Penguin Cam at http: FEBRUARY 1: The results of hunting for food. Vice Presidential nominee calls the //www.moodygardens.com/penguinwebcam/. the Iowa Caucuses are dismissed JULY 22: After the Republican election an aberration and fires an by non-winning candidates as an National Convention, the conserva- opening shot, kicking off the 2020 irrational political stunt, much like a tive wing accuses the nominee of campaign. game of musical chairs without the selling out the party. Cleveland cab The collective national groan music. And no chairs. drivers express disgust. registers a 4.2 on the Richter scale. FEBRUARY 9: Some type of vic- JULY 25: In Philadelphia, the Copyright © 2015, Will Durst, tory in the New Hampshire primary, Democrats float a platform that distributed by the Cagle Cartoons moral or otherwise, is claimed by no endorses good and condemns bad. Inc. syndicate. fewer than seven candidates. JULY 26: Due to pressure Will Durst is an award-winning, MARCH 1: Super Tuesday. So from large donors, the platform is nationally acclaimed columnist, called for the quantity of primaries, watered down. comedian and margarine smuggler. not the quality. JULY 30: After the Democratic For sample videos and a calendar MARCH 11: A rumor about a low- National Convention, the liberal of personal appearances, including polling politico having an affair with wing accuses the nominee of selling the 23rd annual Big Fat Year End an aide is revealed to be a last-ditch out the party. Philadelphia Uber Kiss Off Comedy Show, December cynical attempt to humanize him. drivers express dismay. 26- Jan. 3, go to willdurst.com.
Jan. 6: ON THIS DATE in 1838, Philadelphia in a hot-air bal- History of Samuel Morse made the first loon, ascended to 5,800 feet public demonstration of the tele- and traveled 15 miles. In 1984, the World graph. In 1942, Pan Am’s “Pacific Clara Peller appeared in her first Clipper” made the first around-the- television ad for Wendy’s, making By Mark Andrews world commercial airline flight. “Where’s the Beef?” a household Tribune Content Agency Jan. 7: ON THIS DATE in 1789, phrase. Jan. 4: ON THIS DATE the United States’ first presidential Jan. 10: ON THIS DATE in in 1936, Billboard magazine election was held. Voters chose 49 B.C., Roman general Julius published the first pop-music electors who, a month later, made Caesar crossed the Rubicon chart. In 1957, Colliers magazine George Washington the winner. River on his invasion of north- published its final edition after 69 In 1958, Bobby Fischer won the ern Italy. In 1920, the League of years. United States chess championship Nations was established. Jan. 5: ON THIS DATE in at the age of 14. Answer to last week’s ques- 1709, sudden extreme cold killed Jan. 8: ON THIS DATE in 1908, tion: This week in 1938, “Snow thousands of Europeans. In 1914, a subway linking Brooklyn and White and the Seven Dwarfs” pre- Henry Ford announced that he Manhattan opened. In 1964, Presi- miered. It was Walt Disney’s first would begin paying his workers dent Lyndon Johnson declared a full-length Technicolor cartoon $5 a day and give them a share “War on Poverty.” feature film. of his company’s profits. It was Jan. 9: ON THIS DATE in This week’s question: What nearly double what other auto- 1793, French balloonist Jean television couple celebrated the makers were paying. Pierre Blanchard and his dog left birth of their first child in 1953? Page 14 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com Bulletin Crossword Puzzle of the Week 42 Regret Complete the grid so each row, column 43 “__ MisŽrables” and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains ACROSS 21 Forming a queue 44 *Stand-up venue every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to 1 “The Alphabet Song” opening 23 Memory aid, such as “HOMES” 48 French father solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. 5 Closed for the Great Lakes 49 Kids’ show host with a “Neighbor- 9 Postpone 26 Amount paid hood” 14 Lemony in taste 29 *Amulet 51 “Will you marry me?” is one 15 “__ Lisa” 34 Sch. in the smallest state 55 Flusters 16 Overjoy 35 T-shirt sizes, for short 59 Deceived 17 *Handy tool to have when you’re 36 Sound portion of a movie 60 Ostracize ... and what the first out of loose-leaf paper 37 *Prime ballpark accommodation words of the answers to starred 19 Red-suited reindeer driver 39 *Architectural style featuring clues comprise 20 China’s Zhou __ geometric shapes 63 Submit tax returns online 41 Amazed 64 Actor Lugosi 65 Sulk 66 Small and unimportant 67 Cheese from the Netherlands 68 Winter fall
DOWN 1 Arthur of tennis 2 Timely benefit 3 Select with care 4 Imagined while sleeping 5 Church-founded Dallas sch. 6 Luv 7 Clean with Liquid-Plumr 8 Hummus paste 9 Dry up 10 Vivacity Solutions 11 Vampire tooth 12 Caesar’s immortal “And you?” 13 Gather in a field 18 Bowler’s target 22 Actor Cage, in tabloids 24 Austen heroine 25 Milkshake additive 26 Like Rubik’s creation 27 Maine college town 28 Early riser’s hr. 30 1963 Paul Newman film Solutions on the right side of this page 31 Dancer Astaire 32 Potato cutter 33 Bullwinkle, for one 35 Start-up cash 38 Nor. neighbor 39 Cut __: dance, in old slang 40 Hick 45 1520 and 2015, e.g.: Abbr. 46 Buster who played Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon 47 Lazed 48 Biblical songs 50 Bobby’s monogram, in ‘60s politics 51 Argued in court 52 Lower-interest mtge. 53 Norse war god 54 President when Texas was annexed 56 Utah national park 57 1960s-’70s Boston Bruins nick- name 58 Hearty dish 61 Pie __ mode
62 Pic taker FINCH CRANE QUAIL STORK GOOSE HERON ROBIN
(c)2015 TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, INC. Answers Boggle In memory of Greg Wilkinson www.mybulletinnewspaper.com (979) 849-5407 January 5, 2016 THE BULLETIN Page 15 gilded cage. As this week unfurls mind, but will keep you warm on you might feel guilty for missing a a cold winter’s day. In the week Bulletin Horoscope deadline or for handing in slipshod to come you may be inspired or work. Make every effort to do your uplifted by positive thoughts and ARIES (March 21-April 19): You are fit for friendships. Your friendly wound. You might be involved in a best so you aren’t held in check by images. can’t always talk your way out of a demeanor can attract new friends conversation that entails pointed disapproval. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. jam. A passing confrontation may and make old friends sit up and comments that cut to the quick. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Live to 21): In the week to come a poker put you on the defensive and you take notice. In the week ahead you Focus on being thrifty, organized, serve. Your sympathy and com- face can come in handy. Play your may be tempted to tell a little white can profit from the good judgment and responsible about bill paying passion may get a workout in the cards close to your chest. Take lie. In the week ahead you will find and wisdom of a long term partner. in the week ahead. workplace. A creative idea might no unnecessary risks and don’t that honesty is the very best policy. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The CANCER (June 21-July 22): be put on the back burner. In the antagonize anyone.CAPRICORN TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You sharper the wit the deeper the You could feel like a bird in a week ahead you may offer your (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Pull with both MR. MORRIS By Rick Brooks services to someone in an effort to oars. In the week to come you fill an imagined need. will get further and make the most VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): progress by working in tandem Avoid sharp words and steer clear with others. You may run into of sharp objects in the early part of obstacles or cause friction by trying the week. You take pride in being to perform your duties all alone. efficient and may go too fast in AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): an attempt to uphold your public Steady as she goes. You may be image. Don’t try to juggle too many on the edge of your seat and filled tasks at a time. with anticipation of something LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You more exciting as this week unfolds. may look for love and only find However, you will be better off friends. Your heightened sense sticking to routines. Avoid stirring of romance is best expressed the pot. through high quality possessions PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): BROOM HILDA By Russel Myers and apparel in the week ahead. Get your hands dirty; mold clay Your romantic overtures may fall into a pitcher or a bowl. You can somewhat flat. take basic ingredients and turn SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): them into something useful if you You’re walking in sunshine. Those use your imagination. In the week golden rays may only be in your ahead listen to your creative muse.
ANIMAL CRACKERS By Fred Wagner
THE MIDDLETONS By Ralph Dunagin and Dana Summers
Answer: The archery competition was won by an -- ARROW MARGIN ARROW -- an by won was competition archery The Answer:
Jumbles: AMITY MINER HARROW AWEIGH HARROW MINER AMITY Jumbles: Jumble Answers Jumble Page 16 THE BULLETIN January 5, 2016 (979) 849-5407 www.mybulletinnewspaper.com