Book & Lyrics by John Popa Music by Steve Parsons

PRODUCTION SCRIPT

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PRODUCTION HISTORY A Christmas Carol – The New Musical was originally presented by The Players Guild Theatre in Canton, Ohio on November 28th, 1997. The director was Bil Pfuderer; the music director was Steve Parsons, the choreography was by Sharon Rae; the lighting design was by Scott Kirkham; the sound design was by Scott Sutton; the costume design was by Bil Pfuderer and Richard Boczek; the set design was by Don Keith; and the production stage manager was Karen Heaston. The cast was as follows:

EBENEZER ...... Donald F. Curie BOB CRATCHIT ...... John Capocci FRED ...... Mickey Carroll BELLE/ELIZABETH ...... Stephanie Newport TINY TIM ...... Cameron Dunn ...... Keitha Wells GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT ...... Richard Reahm /OLD JOE ...... Bob Baab MR. FEZZIWIG ...... Barry Wakser MRS. FEZZIWIG ...... Elizabeth Mapp MRS. DILBER ...... Kathy Ashcroft MOLLY/MRS. CRATCHIT ...... Carol Capocci COLLECTING MEN ...... Bryan Fetty, Dana E. Cole, John Apynys

PRODUCTION HISTORY (CONT’D) The revised version was presented by The Players Guild Theatre (Joshua Erichsen, Producing Artistic Director) in Canton, Ohio on December 4th, 2015. The direction and choreography was by Michael Lawrence Akers; the music direction, orchestration and vocal arrangements were by Steve Parsons; the lighting and sound design was by Scott Sutton; the costume design was by George McCarty II; the scenic design was by Joshua Erichsen; the flying effects were by ZFX Flying Effects; the Technical Director was Joseph Carmola; and the production stage manager was Megan Slabach. The cast was as follows:

EBENEZER SCROOGE ...... Don Jones BOB CRATCHIT ...... Matthew Horning FRED/YOUNG EBENEZER ...... Matthew Heppe BELLE/ELIZABETH ...... Amanda Medley TINY TIM ...... Adam Petrosino GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST/MATCH GIRL/ MRS. CRATCHIT ...... Sarah Marie Young GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT/MR. FEZZIWIG ...... Bart Herman JACOB MARLEY/OLD JOE/COLLECTING MAN #1 ...... Greg Rininger MRS. FEZZIWIG/MOLLY ...... Olivia Wimberly MRS. DILBER/ROGUE WOMAN ...... Lisa Kaye Pyles COLLECTING MAN #2/DICK WILKINS/TOPPER ...... Doug Lizak COLLECTING MAN #3/HOMELESS MAN ...... Tyler Ferrebee MARTHA CRATCHIT ...... Natalie James BOY SCROOGE/PETER CRATCHIT ...... Jared Six FAN/BELINDA CRATCHIT ...... Ariana Tsenekos CLARA ...... Miah Bickley CORA ...... Jill Williams TURKEY BOY ...... Aden Graves GHOST OF CHRISTMAS YET-TO-COME ...... Devin Koehler ENSEMBLE — Noah Able, Mark Conneely, Kashari Dove, Zachary Juhasz, Reeghan Kerns, Tess Marie, Erin Milano, Stephen Petrosino, Jennifer Ryan, Corrin Smith, Linda Teis, Sophia Tsenekos, Justin Trompower

CHARACTERS Cast Requirements: 12M, 8F, Ensemble : Male, 50s or older. Scrooge is a grumpy old man who’s buried a lot of memories by focusing only on his work and material success. Vocal Range: A2-F#4. BOB CRATCHIT: Male, 30s or older. Bob is a good-natured and hard-working man, doing his best to stay positive while supporting a large family and working for a difficult boss. Vocal Range: C3- Gb4. FRED: Male, 20s and up. Fred is the opposite of his uncle Scrooge— upbeat and optimistic, he celebrates his life, even though he’s not well off financially. Vocal Range: C3-G4. YOUNG EBENEZER: Male, late teens-early 20s. Unlike his older self, Young Ebenezer tempers his drive to succeed with a dash of wide-eyed romance. Vocal Range: C3-G4. BELLE: Female, late teens-early 20s. Belle is the girl of Young Ebenezer’s dreams, who falls for him but is strong and independent enough to walk away when he chooses work over her. Vocal Range: B3-E5. ELIZABETH: Female, 20s and up. Elizabeth is Fred’s better half; confident and strong, a modern woman who isn’t afraid to let her voice be heard. Vocal Range: B3-E5. TINY TIM: Male, between 8-12. Tiny Tim is Cratchit’s partially crippled son who still believes in everything around him, despite his physical condition. Vocal Range: D4-D5. GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Female, late teens and up. The Ghost seems soft and airy, but her questioning of Scrooge intentionally causes him to address memories he’d be happier to push aside. Vocal Range: B3-F5. GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT: Male, adult. Loud and boisterous, the Ghost lives in the moment but mixes his good nature with a serious understanding of the weight of time. Vocal Range: Ab2-Gb4. JACOB MARLEY: Male, 50s or older. The ghost of Jacob Marley shows the tragic end of a life lived like Scrooge’s. He deals in heavy emotions at all times— anger and anguish mostly. Vocal Range: C#3-Eb4. OLD JOE: Male, 50s or older. Old Joe is a street person with a wicked sense of humor who’s not afraid to engage in some dirty business. Vocal Range: A2-E4. MOLLY: Female, adult. The female equivalent of Old Joe. Vocal Range: A3-C5. COLLECTING MEN 1-3: Male. The Collecting Men are somewhat lovable fops who finish one another’s sentences and have their sales pitch down to a science. Vocal Range: Man 1, Bb2-F4; Man 2, Bb2-Bb4 (falsetto); Man 3, Bb2-F4. MR. FEZZIWIG: Male, 40s or older. Mr. Fezziwig is a huge personality who is loved by all and who wants nothing more than to share his success with everyone around him. Vocal Range: C3-E4. MRS. FEZZIWIG: Female, 40s or older. Much like Mr. Fezziwig, Mrs. Fezziwig is a big personality who turns everything she touches into a celebration. Vocal Range: C4-D5.

CHARACTERS (CONT’D) MRS. DILBER: Female, 50s or older. Scrooge’s miserable housekeeper who runs with a rougher crowd than Scrooge probably knows. Vocal Range: A3-C5. MRS. CRATCHIT: Female, 30s and up. Bob Cratchit’s supportive wife and mother to their large brood. Vocal Range: A3-D5 MARTHA CRATCHIT: Female, late teens or older. Bob Cratchit’s oldest child who has moved out but who makes it home for Christmas, knowing how important it is to the family. Vocal Range: C4-E5. BELINDA CRATCHIT: Female, pre-teen. Bob Cratchit’s younger daughter. Vocal Range: A3-A4. WILLIE CRATCHIT: Male, pre-teen. Bob Cratchit’s younger son. Vocal Range: A3-A4. PETER CRATCHIT: Male, early teens. Bob Cratchit’s oldest son, on the brink of adulthood but not quite there yet. Vocal Range: C3-D4. BOY SCROOGE: Male, pre-teen. Scrooge as a child is sullen and lonely, mostly content to bury himself in books rather than engage the world around him. Vocal Range: Non-singing role. FAN: Female, pre-teen; Scrooge’s slightly older sister. Her warmth is such that she can make even Boy Scrooge’s saddest day better. Vocal Range: Non-singing role. CLARA: Female, early 20s and older. A guest at Fred’s party and one object of Topper’s affections. Vocal Range: F4-C5. CORA: Female, early 20s and older. Another guest at Fred’s party and another object of Topper’s affections. Vocal Range: F4-C5. BESSIE FEZZIWIG: Female, older teen. Mr. Fezziwig’s pretty daughter. Vocal Range: Sings only with the ensemble. TOPPER: Male, 20s or older. Fred’s somewhat rowdy but entertaining friend. Vocal Range: Bb2- D4. TURKEY BOY: Male, pre-teen. A boy Scrooge meets on the street who is sent on an errand. Vocal Range: Non-singing role. DICK WILKINS: Male, late teen or early twenties. Young Ebenezer’s best friend, an outgoing and confident young man. Vocal Range: C3-F4. ROGUES’ SONG SOLOIST #1: Female, any age. A homeless person, lost and alone in the streets at night. Vocal Range: A3-C#5. ROGUES’ SONG SOLOIST #2: Male, any age. A homeless person, lost and alone in the streets at night. Vocal Range: F#3-E4. IGNORANCE: Boy, pre-teen. A creepy phantom of a child that torments Scrooge. Vocal Range: Non-singing role. WANT: Girl, pre-teen. Vocal Range: Non-singing role.

CASTING NOTES The show was developed with the cast doublings listed below in mind. While not required, they do often create some dramatic parallels (and give the actors something to do in each act.) • Fred/Young Ebenezer • Belle/Elizabeth • Ghost of Christmas Past/Mrs. Cratchit • Ghost of Christmas Present/Mrs. Fezziwig • Jacob Marley/Old Joe • Mrs. Fezziwig/Molly • Fan/Belinda Cratchit • Boy Scrooge/Peter Cratchit

SETTING London, England. 1843.

RUN TIME 2 hours, 15 minutes.

SCENIC, PROP, AND COSTUME REQUIREMENTS A Christmas Carol has been STAGED in a variety of ways, from a small, abstract “conceptual” set to a large-scale realistic depiction of London. The most important element in deciding on an approach is that the design must be flexible enough to allow for several shifts of location without cumbersome scene changes that interrupt the flow. Even for theatres without a fully-equipped fly system, rotating set pieces and other ideas have been found to help move the show along quite effectively. Similarly, COSTUMES can be as elaborate or simple as needed, although they should always suggest the Victorian era in some way. Since the show involves quite a bit of actor doubling and passing through different time periods, careful attention will need to be paid to indicating these changes. PROPS and SET DRESSING are more important in A Christmas Carol than a large set, and can be quite effective in portraying the time period and scenes (especially with a creative lighting design). A minimum plot might consist of the following: • 2 Desks (mandatory for the opening scene, then one doubles as Fezziwig/Young Ebenezer’s desk later.) • A coal stove with opening door • Coins (for Scrooge’s desk and to present to the Turkey Boy) • Metal donation cups • Single candles in metal holders • Matches and a wearable tray for the Match Girl • Tiny Tim’s crutch • A large hardbound book for Boy Scrooge • A broom for Young Ebenezer • A small table of food for Fezziwig’s party • A ledger and quill pen • A staff or cornucopia for the Ghost of Christmas Present • A table and chairs for the Cratchit family • A small goose • Trashcans for the Rogues and Homeless (possibly lit from within) • Wine glasses and tray • A loveseat and matching chair • Gravestones • A large turkey (tied in a cloth bag)

MUSICAL NUMBERS

ACT I 1. Overture ...... Instrumental 2. The Season Starts Today ...... Townspeople, Collecting Men, Fred, Carolers Bob Cratchit & Ensemble 3. Scrooge’s Song ...... Ebenezer Scrooge 4. Mister Scrooge ...... Collecting Men 4A. God Bless Us Everyone ...... Carolers 4B. Out of the Courthouse ...... Instrumental 5. Next Christmas ...... Bob Cratchit 6. Scrooge’s Song (Reprise) ...... Ebenezer Scrooge 6A. Into Scrooge’s House ...... Instrumental 7. Look at These Chains ...... Jacob Marley 7A. Christmas Past ...... Instrumental 8. Walk with Me ...... Ghost of Christmas Past 9. Ten Minutes More (Part 1) ...... Young Ebenezer 9A. Ten Minutes More (Part 2) ...... Dick Wilkins, Young Ebenezer & Mr. & Mrs. Fezziwig 10. Nothing Else Like Christmas ...... Mr. & Mrs. Fezziwig, Dick Wilkins, Guests & Ensemble 11. One Day ...... Young Ebenezer & Belle 12. Walk with Me (Reprise) ...... Ghost of Christmas Past & Belle 13. I Have to Know ...... Belle 14. Act I Finale ...... Ghost of Christmas Past, Guests Ebenezer Scrooge & Ensemble

MUSICAL NUMBERS (CONT’D)

ACT II 15. Entr’acte ...... Instrumental 16. Beats the Dickens Out of Me ...... Ghost of Christmas Present, Ebenezer Scrooge Townspeople & Ensemble 17. Forever ...... Ghost of Christmas Present 18. The Cratchits/Prayer ...... Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim, Mrs. Cratchit Martha, Peter, Willie & Belinda 19. A Child Alone ...... Tiny Tim & Bob Cratchit 20. Rogues’ Song (Shine a Light On Me) ...... Rogue Woman, Homeless Man Rogues & Homeless & Rogue Child 20A. Rogues’ Exit ...... Instrumental 21. Yes and No/One Day (Reprise) ...... Topper, Fred, Elizabeth, Clara & Cora 22. Forever (Reprise) ...... Ghost of Christmas Present 23. We Build Ourselves Up ...... Collecting Men, Old Joe Mrs. Dilber & Molly 23A. Old Joe’s Exit ...... Instrumental 24. The Graveyard ...... Mrs. Cratchit, Martha, Peter, Willie, Belinda Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim & Ebenezer Scrooge 25. Scrooge’s Epiphany ...... Ebenezer Scrooge 25A. Christmas Morning ...... Instrumental 25B. Out of Scrooge’s House ...... Ensemble 25C.To the Cratchits’ ...... Instrumental 26. Finale ...... Carolers, Bob Cratchit & Mrs. Cratchit 27. Bows & Exit Music ...... Instrumental

AUTHORS’ NOTES “So, what rhymes with ‘Scrooge’?” As it turns out, not a lot in the sense of useful lyric material! Despite this slight creative limitation, in 1997 we found ourselves, at the request of a local theatre, creating a song demo and treatment for a full-fledged musical adaptation of ’ beloved novella. We immediately understood that this was no simple feat, as the list of movies, plays and (perhaps more relevant to our situation) musicals numbered in the thousands, so there were bound to be high expectations. In doing our research, one thing stood out clearly: it was rare that most versions were able to both capture the feel of the source material AND relate the issues Dickens dealt with to contemporary audiences. With that in mind, we knew that merely updating the setting or style would alienate those who love the traditional story, but we needed our own spin to effectively create a new take. As if on cue, one thoughtful actor asked a game-changing question in the middle of rehearsals: “Why does it seem that Scrooge ultimately just changes to avoid his own death?” Pondering an answer lead to our solution: Tiny Tim. Social commentator that he was, Dickens placed Tiny Tim into his book to emphasize the plight of the under-privileged children of his day. What if Scrooge realized his own responsibility in causing the Cratchits’ situation and that fact softened his heart enough to truly seek redemption? Certainly a much nobler reason than fear, and something current audiences could empathize with. That’s not to say we didn’t point up other story elements as well, but there needed to be something selfless to finalize his change in the graveyard. Tiny Tim’s death and his father’s grief are emphasized so strongly in the original text that we felt Dickens was leading us right to our needed hook. In the years since that first version, the show has been performed for 12 seasons at its originating theatre, been produced in both New York and California, and even had its first international production in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam! Yet, despite the vast cultural differences in our audiences and numerous revisions of script and score, we’ve never lost sight of that creative breakthrough and its importance to our show. The 2015 production that spawned this licensed edition was carefully revised to polish the material without tampering with the core effectiveness of our well-traveled musical. Special thanks must go to the late Bil Pfuderer (original director and producer) and Michael Lawrence Akers (2015 director/choreographer) for their considerable input and guidance. Additional thanks to Joshua Erichsen (Producing Artistic Director, Players Guild Theatre) for his passion for the show and use of the artwork/logo, and the many cast, crew and orchestra members who have brought this show to life time and time again. We hope this adaptation of A Christmas Carol brings joy to your holiday season!

Steve Parsons & John Popa, February, 2017

A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 1

ACT I

PROLOGUE

SONG #1: OVERTURE

The OVERTURE ends with the chiming of Big Ben. Lights come up on the streets of London as two shopkeepers throw open their windows and call to each other. The music segues.

SONG #2: THE SEASON STARTS TODAY

FEMALE SHOPKEEPER COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL! MALE SHOPKEEPER COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL! COMPANY enters as shoppers, etc. sing overlapping phrases. CAROLERS LET VOICES RING AND PROVE THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT LIVES LET VOICES RING, LET VOICES RING! MEN (SIMULTANEOUSLY) COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL LET THE MELODY RING OUT COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL COME AND SING, COME AND SING! WOMEN (SIMULTANEOUSLY) COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL COME AND SING A SONG COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL ALL are onstage. They sing in unison. ALL COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL LET THE MELODY RING OUT

2 A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT

ALL (CONT’D) HUM THE TUNE IN DAILY TOIL HOLDING CLOSE WHAT IT'S ABOUT

REJOICE!! REJOICE!! IN EV'RY SINGLE WAY REJOICE!! REJOICE!! THE SEASON STARTS TODAY! Three COLLECTING MEN appear and solicit money good- naturedly. COLLECTING MAN #1 GIVE A PENNY, ONE DONATION COLLECTING MAN #2 GIVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN SPARE COLLECTING MAN #3 TAKE THE TIME FOR YOUR ELATION DON'T FORGET WHO GOT YOU THERE COLLECTING MEN REJOICE!! REJOICE!! IN ANY WAY YOU MAY REJOICE!! REJOICE!! THE SEASON STARTS TODAY SCROOGE appears and pushes his way through the crowd. A MATCH GIRL [GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST] offers him a match from her tray but he ignores her and keeps walking. A group of CAROLERS stands on the street corner singing a carol. The COLLECTING MEN listen and playfully conduct their song, joining in. FRED and ELIZABETH emerge from the crowd, approaching the COLLECTING MEN and generally being friendly with most anyone they see. FRED PEACE AND JOY TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU (to the Collecting Men) TAKE THESE COINS, MY OFF'RING TO YOUR CAUSE (to Elizabeth) AS FOR YOU, I'VE SOMETHING FOR YOU TOO (producing a gift of some sort) KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU KNOW MY WORDS ARE TRUE

A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 3

CAROLERS LET VOICES RING AND PROVE THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT LIVES ALL PEOPLE SING AND PRAISE THE GOODNESS CHRISTMAS GIVES

ON CHRISTMAS MORN LET PEACE BE BORN THE SEASON'S NEVER DONE

TO EACH AND ALL OF YOU GOD BLESS US EV'RY ONE

TO EACH AND ALL OF YOU GOD BLESS US EV’RY… SCROOGE angrily bursts through the group of CAROLERS as music stops. SCROOGE Out of my way! COLLECTING MEN (in unison, staring after him) Oh my! The COLLECTING MEN resume their merriment as SCROOGE exits into his counting house. (singing) REJOICE!! REJOICE!! IN ANY WAY WE MAY REJOICE!! REJOICE!! THE SEASON STARTS TODAY Amongst the crowd, BOB CRATCHIT and TINY TIM emerge. CRATCHIT ONE MORE DAY AND CHRISTMAS WILL BE HERE AGAIN JUST ONE MORE UNTIL OUR WAIT IS THROUGH DON'T FORGET, THAT ONCE THE TABLE'S SET WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOR THE BEST DAY YET COMPANY COME AND SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL LET THE MELODY RING OUT HUM THE TUNE IN DAILY TOIL HOLDING CLOSE WHAT IT'S ABOUT

4 A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT

COMPANY (CONT’D) REJOICE!! REJOICE!! GIVE THANKS TO GOD AND PRAY REJOICE!! REJOICE!! THE SEASON STARTS TODAY

REJOICE!! REJOICE!! IN EV'RY SINGLE WAY REJOICE!! REJOICE!! THE SEASON STARTS TODAY!

A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 5

SCENE 1

SONG #3: SCROOGE'S SONG

The COMPANY exits and scene shifts to the interior of SCROOGE's counting house. He stands at the window watching the merriment outside. In the same room, Scrooge's clerk, BOB CRATCHIT works diligently, frequently rubbing his hands together due to the cold and the tiny fire Scrooge provides him. SCROOGE LOOK AT THEM ALL, JACOB MARLEY WASTING THE DAY IN THE STREETS LISTEN TO THAT, JACOB MARLEY I HOPE THEY CHOKE ON THEIR SICKENING SWEETS (speaking) Bah! He turns from the window and returns to his desk. (singing) WITH SO MUCH TO DO AND NO USEFUL HELP CAN NO ONE WORK AN HONEST DAY?

WHEN I ASK THEM WHY I SHOULD WASTE MY TIME "BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS" IS ALL THEY SAY

THEY BEG AND BORROW AND PLEAD FOR GIFTS AFTER YEARS YOU’D THINK THEY'D LEARN HAVE THEY NO SHAME OR NO PRIDE I ASK? WHY GIVE THEM WHAT I EARN?

COIN BY COIN I COUNT MY FORTUNE WHILE EV'RY INGRATE BEGS ME FOR A PORTION WASTED MONEY MAKES A WASTED SEASON AND CHRISTMAS IS HARDLY A GOOD ENOUGH REASON While the song is going on BOB CRATCHIT sneaks from his tiny desk and approaches the coal sitting next to Scrooge’s fire. (speaking) CRATCHIT!

6 A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT

CRATCHIT Yes, sir? SCROOGE I don't recall asking you to put another coal on my fire. CRATCHIT Actually, sir, I was hoping to add one piece of coal to MY fire. It's so cold I can barely feel the pen in my hand. SCROOGE BACK TO YOUR DESK, MR. CRATCHIT AND NOT ONE MORE STEP OUT OF LINE IF COAL'S WHAT YOU NEED, MR. CRATCHIT I CAN SEND YOU TO WORK IN THE MINES CRATCHIT (giving up and returning to his desk) I assure you sir, that won't be necessary. SCROOGE And I assure YOU that if you do not return to work it will become so. Both men return to work. CRATCHIT tries to make the best of it, and rubs his hands together between pen strokes. Scrooge's nephew FRED enters in a merry mood. He nods to Cratchit, and walks right up to Scrooge, who is still counting money at his desk and has taken no notice of him. FRED Merry Christmas, Uncle! SCROOGE (with irritation, not even glancing up) Humbug! FRED (rolling his eyes and exchanging an amused look with Cratchit) Don't be cross, uncle! At this time of year, especially, a man of your great wealth has no need to be unpleasant. SCROOGE (still not looking up) A man of your extreme mediocrity has no reason to be happy, and yet you insist upon screaming "Merry Christmas" to any fool who will listen. (finally looking Fred in the eye) Away with "Merry Christmas," and away with YOU! FRED How can you say that? SCROOGE It's quite simple, nephew. What is Christmas? Just another day, time for finding yourself older but none the wiser AND none the richer.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 7

SCROOGE If I had my will, every idiot who stumbles about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips should be thrown into prison, boiled in his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart! FRED (amused at the melodrama) Uncle! Surely you are exaggerating. SCROOGE I NEVER exaggerate. Keep Christmas in any way you see fit, but allow me the freedom to keep it in my own way as well. FRED But you don't keep it at all. SCROOGE Then allow me to ignore it, the same way I am trying to ignore you. FRED (playing along) You wound me, uncle. And yet, for your sake I will admit that Christmas has never placed a scrap of gold in my pocket. Unlike you, however, I am able to derive good from those situations where I do not profit financially. Christmas is one of the few times when people open their hearts and wallets as easily as they open their mouths, and for that reason alone I believe it has done me good. Therefore, I say: God bless Christmas! CRATCHIT (pounding his desk enthusiastically) Well, said, sir! SCROOGE (standing and crossing to Cratchit) Not another sound from you or you'll find yourself in the coal mines! (to Fred) You're quite the persuasive speaker, sir. You seem particularly adept at inspiring the dim-witted; it's a wonder you haven't run for Parliament. FRED Don't be difficult. Please, just join my wife and I for dinner tomorrow. SCROOGE I'll see you in Hell first. FRED (getting a bit annoyed) Why are you so hateful? SCROOGE You're still married to that woman? FRED My wife has nothing to do with… SCROOGE (interrupting) Your mother never would have approved.

8 A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT

FRED You've never even spoken to Elizabeth. How can you say that? SCROOGE I know her kind all too well, Fred. She does nothing but hold you back. I was nearly seduced by one like her many years ago, but I saw the error in my ways. I had hoped that you would do the same. Tell me again why you married her? FRED Because we fell in love. SCROOGE (sarcastically) Because you fell in love! BAH! HUMBUG! FRED Won't you set aside your bitterness long enough to share dinner with us? I ask for nothing but the friendship of my only uncle. SCROOGE (scowling) You ask for more than you deserve. Jacob Marley is my only friend; I will spend Christmas with him. FRED Jacob Marley is dead, dead as a doornail. You can't spend Christmas talking with phantoms! SCROOGE Good afternoon, sir! FRED Well you can't destroy my Christmas spirit, try as you might. (he starts to leave) Merry Christmas, uncle! SCROOGE HUMBUG! FRED (with a wry grin) And a happy new year! SCROOGE (rising from his chair) Humbug I say! BAH HUMBUG! FRED nods to BOB and exits. Outside, he passes the three COLLECTING MEN, cheerfully gives them a donation, and moves along. The collecting men look up at the sign on Scrooge's counting house reading "Scrooge and Marley" and realize where they are. Each gesture for the others to go first, but the FIRST MAN finally gets pushed through the door by the OTHER TWO. They tip their hats to BOB, and reluctantly approach SCROOGE.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 9

COLLECTING MAN #1 (overly-enthusiastic, carrying a record book) Do we have the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge? COLLECTING MAN #2 (almost overlapping with Man #1) Or is it Mr. Marley? COLLECTING MAN #3 Or someone else entirely? MAN #3 laughs at his own joke, and the others join in after a beat. They trail off as SCROOGE addresses them. SCROOGE You will not have the pleasure of addressing Mister Marley. He's been dead seven years this very night. The COLLECTING MEN are a little shocked by his frankness. ALL THREE Oh, my!

SONG #4: MR. SCROOGE

SCROOGE (as music begins) I do not recall any appointments this late in the work day, gentlemen, and I do not like surprise visits. This had best be important. COLLECTING MAN #1 WE KNOW THAT YOU'RE A BUSY MAN, NOTORIOUSLY SHREWD COLLECTING MAN #2 SO KNOW WE'D NEVER WASTE YOUR TIME WE PRAY WE DON'T INTRUDE COLLECTING MAN #3 AT THIS FESTIVE TIME OF YEAR WE HOPE YOU’LL USE YOUR CLOUT COLLECTING MAN #1 TO OFFER HELP TO THOSE IN NEED WHO SADLY DO WITHOUT ALL THREE MISTER SCROOGE— MISTER SCROOGE WE'RE ASKING MISTER SCROOGE COLLECTING MAN #1 COLLECTING MEN #2 & #3 WE ONLY WANT THE SMALLEST SLICE WE ONLY WANT THE OF THE PIE THAT'S ON YOUR PLATE PIE THAT'S ON YOUR PLATE

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