sine cera a DiverseCity Writing Series anthology

A City Devoid of Sharp Edges

Volume 9

April 2011 sine cera is published by the SLCC Community Writing Center All inquiries should be directed to: DiverseCity Writing Series Coordinator 210 East 400 South, Suite 8, Salt Lake City, UT 84111

Salt Lake Community College (SLCC) and the SLCC Community Writing Center (CWC) are not responsible for the opinions expressed in sine cera, nor does the writing represent any official position at SLCC or the CWC. Individual authors are solely responsible for the opinions expressed herein.

Each author retains copyright individually. Reprinting of this publication is permitted only with prior consultation and approval from the SLCC Community Writing Center.

This edition ofsine cera was compiled and edited by DiverseCity Writing Series Coordinator Rachel Meads-Jardine. Cover Art created by Paige Kimball.

sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges ISBN 0-9789581-4-4 © 2010, 2011

Introduction

Everyone Can Write!

In August of 2000, the SLCC Community Writing Center began working with writers from local organizations in two- month writing workshops. Each workshop culminated in a publication and a public reading. At first, this DiverseCity Writing Series worked one-on-one with a variety of organizations: Justice, Economic Independence and Dignity for Women; the Road Home shelter; Liberty Senior Center; and Cancer Wellness House. In the summer of 2003, the DiverseCity Writing Series expanded to offer multiple, on-going writing groups. Volunteers were trained in collaborative writing strategies and became mentors for a variety of open-interest and specialized writing groups. In the fall of 2003, the pieces written in these groups were assembled to create sine cera: People Are Strange, the first DiverseCity Writing Series anthology. The anthology celebrated the work of participants, who were then invited to present their writing at a public reading. Over the past several years, the DiverseCity Writing Series has grown to include fourteen groups, with an average of 200 community members participating; however, the mission remains the same: The DiverseCity Writing Series bridges the Salt Lake community’s diverse social, economic and educational backgrounds through writing, collaboration and dialogue. The SLCC Community Writing Center would like to thank the mentors and participants who have made this program an ongoing success. DiverseCity Writing Series Groups

Avenues Courtyard Group The Center for Women and Children Group Columbus Library Group The Community Writing Center Group The Environmental Writing Group Gay Writes Group The Homeless Youth Resource Center Group The King’s English Group The Literacy Action Center Groups Men’s Detox Group Palinca Silver Pen Seniors Group The St. Mark’s Tower Group The Veterans’ Affairs Group

We look forward to the future growth of the DiverseCity Writing Series, particularly with the Center for Hope and YWCA groups and development of the DiverseCity Writing Series, and are happy to present our fourteenth publication:

sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges

Acknowledgements

We would like to thank the DiverseCity Writing Series volunteer mentors: Dave Bastian, John Boles, Meg Burke, Fran Crookstan, Randy Eggert, Shirley Fifer, Mary Fuller, Andrea Garland, Margie Gilmore, Bryant Hinckley, Peggy Kadir, Guy Lebeda, Lexie Levitt, Cyndi Lloyd, Dianne Lockard, Joyce Luttrell, Ramona Maassen, Peter Muller, Greg Near, Rob Oakes, Mary Phillips, Jessy Poole, Melissa Rasmussen, Jen Seagrave-Large, Whitney Strong, J. Phillip Wilkes, and Douglass Woodall. Your never-waning faith and support of writers in the Salt Lake community is awe-inspiring. Your time and efforts make the DiverseCity Writing Series not only a possbility, but a sucess: thank you!

Also, thank you to Andrea Malouf and Elizabeth Coleman for their support and advice. And thanks to everyone at the SLCC Community Writing Center for feedback and editing assistance: Stephanie Dowdle, Alisabeth McQueen, James Singer, Kenny Simin, Brenda Sieczkowski, Hailey Jensen, and Jason McFarland.

Special thanks to Paige Kimball who provided cover art, and Peggy Kadir whose work provided the title for this publication of sine cera.

We would also like to express our gratitude to Deb Young of the Literacy Action Center, Anne Holman of The King’s English Bookshop, Michael Scott and the U. S. Veterans Medical Center of Salt Lake, St. Mark’s Tower, Avenues Courtyard Assisted Living, and both the Salt Lake City and Salt Lake County Public Libraries for the use of their facilities and continued support.

Thanks toSalt Lake Community College for making this publication possible.

And, of course, thank you to all the writers! The moments I get to work with each of you are the highlights of my week. Preface Rachel Meads-Jardine 15

A City Devoid of Sharp Edges Peggy Kadir 17

Tailwaggers Jackie Skinner 18

Jealous Randy Eggert 24

The Girl Who Spoke Cat Peggy Kadir 25

Excerpt Kelly Verdejo 26

Mud Pies Dr. Joyce Murray 27

Yesterday and Today Rudy Pedersen 28

The Music Box Joyce Luttrell 30

Son of Superman Paige Kimball 31

Expressions Cyndi Lloyd 36

The Girl Who Was Gone! Fantasia Ward 43

Orphan Wars Jaron Frost 45 (excerpt)

Memories in early life-5 to 8 years Dr. Joyce Murray 47

The Dread of Pipersmill Hollow Greg Near 48 (excerpt) Cold Embers Never Die Nikki A. Inkcraft 54

My WWII Report Ray Wright 55

Storm Children David Goodale 56 Precious Life Tali Morgan 62

Little Girls Denise Bell 63

First Day at Clayton Middle School Joseph Gilmore 64

Miss Paul Remembered Peggy Kadir 65

Paul’s Reading Adventures Paul L. Rosser 67

Reading Is Pain Scott Aldrich 68

Why I Write Meg Burke 70

Stepping Over Katherine January 72

Monster Story Part 1 Julie Liljenquist 73

Marble: A Chakra Series Ramona Maassen 75

Broken Rules Rachel Frost 79

A Murder in the Switching Yard Robert Rischel 81

Love II Nicole Milgate 85

A Phone Call Too Late Elizabeth Ernsten 86

Sixty Years Mary M. Fuller 88

Lonely Shirley Fifer 89

Ode to the Meds Elizabeth Ernsten 91

Dots Jonnathan Hardy 92

If Babies Could Fly Jo Anna Johannesen 93

Genetic Amputation Garrett Drage 94

Friends Jo Anna Johannesen 95 Public Reading Karen Larsen 96

The Table Katherine January 97

Don’t forget The Mustard Joyce Luttrell 98

Raspberries Ramona Maassen 99

One Summer Day Paul Loya 102

Rebuilding the Leeves Chris Steffen 104

The Trespasser Steven A. Dame 114

Waterhole Diane Lockard 119

No More Belts Margie Gilmore 121

In the Yard Scott Aldrich 122

Essence Gifted Annie Stakland 124

Lovely Winter Shirley Fifer 126

The Stars of Heaven Steven A. Dame 127

Respect Jonnathon Hardy 132

Judge Them Not! Elizabeth Ernstsen 133

Hate and Consequences J. Phillip Wilkes 134

Emotional Armor Barry Kesler 136

More Meg Burke 138

Witness Christine Lee 139

Visions and Voices Evany Pace 141

It’s All Daddy’s Fault Jill A. Vanderwood 143 My Father, the Stranger Garrett Drage 144

Prologue Nikki Hammer 145

Greyhound Adventure Marlene Arbogast 150

Summer Ms. Sadie 151

Enough Katherine January 153

Tool Time Scott Aldrich 154

April tax day Shirley Fifer 155

My Job Experiences Issa Mberwa 156

In Business, the Generic Pronoun ‘He’ Mary M. Fuller 157

The Best Layed Plans J. Phillip Wilkes 158

Plagarism Fran Crooksten 161

Discovering My Dream Stateki Kinikini 162

Daytona 500 Julie Liljenquist 166

Dragon David Goodale 168

Chores John Boles 171

Martha Reformed Andrea Garland 176

Diamond in the Rough Paige Kimball 181

Getting Lost: Finding Myself Michael D. 184 Whitworth Back to Basics Karen Larsen 188

Hold Still, or Rain Jackie Skinner 190

sine cera

A City Devoid of Sharp Edges

Volume 9 April 2011 sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 14 sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 15 Preface —DiverseCity Writing Series Mission Statement Series Mission Writing ­—DiverseCity Through reading their words we are given the opportunity to remove remove to opportunity the given are we words reading their Through The courage and intimacy present in the sine cera are a result of the result a are cera in sine the present intimacy and courage The This caring contact roots the foundations of the DiverseCity Writing Writing of DiverseCity the foundations roots the contact This caring Twice a month the writers of the DiverseCity Writing Series break Writing the DiverseCity of the writers a month Twice We live in a world that encourages a remote existence. Maslow’s Maslow’s existence. a remote encourages that in a world live We our and other humanness. humanness. other and our our own sharp edges, to push past our own sensation of discomfort, stop stop discomfort, of sensation own our past push to edges, sharp own our with in a meaningful way connect and drop shoe to the other for waiting make for a publication rich with a nuanced interpretation of the world, the world, of interpretation a nuanced rich with a publication for make gender, class, race, of issues to they relate how challenge in which people difference. of markers other sexuality and laughter, and love. love. and laughter, of when carved a wide-range out reciprocity respect and space of unique reciprocity respect and of speak.relationships and These both listen voices poems, and essays told in this publication fearlessly give attention to to attention give fearlessly in this publication told essays poems,and grief, violence, spend time avoiding—death, us of most in life things birth, triumph, celebrate sexuality—while faith, simultaneously crisis of Series in empathetic human interaction. The thoughtful consideration of consideration The thoughtful interaction. human Series in empathetic sense of overreaching an led to has ideas, feelings experiences and others memoirs, stories, The groups. writing the various across vitality and hope stretch the boundaries of their understanding and come into caring caring into come and their understanding of the boundaries stretch segregate. those with otherwise or they would contact overlook through the barriers that distance us as they the share words that have have that words they as us the share distance the barriers that through Over twelve minds. the last theirown in the privacy of beenonly heard Series Writing the DiverseCity of the writers watched I have months our senses of safety. iPods, phones, books and body positioning are used are body books positioning and phones, iPods, safety. senses of our a with in contact us put would dialogue that or eye contact any avoid to stranger. forge means of satisfying the most basic of human desires. Each day when Each day desires. human basic of satisfying the most of means forge leave to us compel sustenance for requirements and work of the necessities to threats constant the from ourselves to distance ways find we homes our hierarchy of need—food, shelter, safety—forces us out of our homes to to homes our of out us safety—forces need—food, shelter, of hierarchy diverse social, economic and educational backgrounds through through backgrounds educational and economic social, diverse dialogue. and collaboration writing, The DiverseCity Writing Series bridges the Salt Lake community’s community’s Lake Salt the bridges Series Writing DiverseCity The sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 16 sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 17 by Peggy Kadir Peggy by In the morning haze, the morning In Devoid of sharp edges. sharp of Devoid Others of “the lake effect.” lake “the Others of Softened by the early light, by the early Softened A Monet in blues and pinks. and in blues A Monet Some willSome speak “pollution,” of I just enjoy the sight of the city of the sight enjoy I just The city is painted in pale pastels, is painted city The A City Devoid SharpA City Edges of sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 18 wagging speed. Maxwagging speed. felt himself flagging, butthoughtthe rallied at yellow lab named Gus Max eyed with loathing as he matched Max’s competitionthe mostly to show off her coat.pink Afastidious scare away. them And there was Mindy, aChihuahua entered who Spaniel the Seth barked menacingly at his opponents, to trying kept with Max, pace his chopped ablur tail fading inthe light. and gotten lost inabag of garbage. Pep, ayippie little Yorkie, easily prerequisite for competition, the himself into had wiggled acorner competition. The perhapsoverzealous Bulldog, unaware tailthe of As into he settled acomfortable rhythm, he at glanced some of his off. early himself paced Max on thinking by of chicken biscuits. officiated.Border Collie He gave asingle bark, the race and was delectable bagof day-old treats liberated from bakery. the Shep the his or herfastest the tail and for longest the duration would a win rather filthy dumpster. Winning was simple: couldwhoever wag featured scenery the crates, boxes, and a bakery; local the behind to display his ability. The competition took in place alleyway an proud of how fast he could wag his tail. He entered acompetition paw. He lay down and beganto lick. He readied his charge, and noticed an errant fleck of dust on his his head, lips inasnarl, raised danger radiating from himinwaves. rage him.He overwhelmed erupted infury, ears flattened against insinuated he was more like acat than Upon adog. hearing this, chasing animals and rolling mud. inthe Onone occasion, they spending much too cleaning time himself and not enough time blatantly cleanliness. eschewed The other strays accused Max of ofbecause his homelessness, Max couldn’t adogthat respect so his hovering time around dirt inthe abroken-down car. Perhaps butcode, dogwas the unhygienic, because what with spending all that he didnot much care for Cujo, not out of any kindof moral adolescence with Old Yeller and Shiloh. He inadulthood decided puppyhood with CliffordthroughDog the andRed cried Big Max didn’t like to brag unlesshe was inpublic, but he was Max stray the reader. dogwas an expert He had graduated Tailwaggers by Jackie Skinner *** sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 19 . He . He , Max thought, thought, , Max *** Dog bed eyes Dog bed how I’d love to sniff her bottom when this is over is this when bottom her sniff to love I’d how Since that day, the weather had turned cold, but still Max still Max but cold, turned had the weather day, that Since Max noted two remaining contestants, and renewed strength strength renewed and contestants, remaining two noted Max By this point, Mindy was bored and angry over a spot of mud mud of a spot angry and over bored was Mindy this point, By that his dreams were of Penny, and that his breathing calmed into a calmed into breathing his that and Penny, of were dreams his that strong and beautiful. And she could shake that tail as well as he he as well tail as that shake could she And beautiful. and strong would became too Max overwhelming, these thoughts When could. unaware sleep, to whine himself and paws his eyes with his cover thought of Penny. During times of weakness, Max would admit to to admit would Max weakness, During times of Penny. of thought and – fluffy own his to a tail comparable had Penny that himself a mile on sore legs and buried them under her tree. Max had won won had Max tree. her buried them under legs and sore a mile on her. them for in a corner. Penny had left, overwhelmed by the testosterone in the overwhelmedtestosterone by the left, had Penny in a corner. that unaware was her, because of won Max that know didn’t She air. for treats of peanut-butter his he dragged bag afterwards a week for finding her the smelliest places to pee. So caught up in this fantasy, up in fantasy, this to places pee. her smelliest the So caught finding competition had and the passed minutes five that realize didn’t Max twitching was and exhaustion from passed had out Gus ended. had there, and Max couldn’t let a Lab win. He waggled harder, spinning spinning waggled harder, let a Lab win. He couldn’t Max and there, doggy his through flashing daydreams in circles, uncontrollably Penny, for the garbage of out trash of the best pieces – picking brain followed by by followed too was win, but let her to just there, then and up gave almost still Besides, was worth. his Gus prove too determined to stubborn, new angle he saw a gorgeous Samoyed named Penny. He was was He Penny. named Samoyed a gorgeous saw he new angle And coat. her of shine the lustrous fur, her by drawn immediately eyes. soulful brown eyes! Such her poured through his body and into his tail. He was so excited, so was excited, He tail. his into body his and through poured this From in a circle. himself turn to managed he that so proud, on her coat, Seth had found a stick, and Pep had decided he would decided had would he Pep and a stick, Seth coat, found her had on the along forth and back ran He on. the others cheering do better him in time-out. put the leg and him on nipped Shep until sidelines noticed a human standing at the window watching the competition, the competition, watching the window at standing a human noticed presence. her of take further tail to his on note too was intent but the contestants unconscious. Max thought this was cheating. As As this cheating. was thought Max unconscious. the contestants him and at gloating Max saw he amounts, in copious drooled Gus he tried distract Gus, to Max As ferocity. with wagging resumed texture of it caressing his taste buds. He almost stopped wagging wagging stopped almost He buds. taste his caressing it of texture grew tired. Gus Meanwhile, in time. just himself caught but tail, his succeeded halfalready in knocking of had tail that a heavy had He of turkey jerky. He envisioned the succulent treat, could feel the feel could treat, the succulent envisioned He jerky. turkey of sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 20 gray tensing body and shaking, muscles rippling morning inthe gentle, rhythm as he peaceful slept. Something to explore! He approached cautiously, gently sniffing saw a crate tucked garbage the behind cans next to bakery. the he moped. He bent another to extract bone from basket the and his haunches, defeated, rolling alambwich around his mouth as not wag,mischievous the slid from smile his face. Max sat on his puppy love for her he when kept growling at her? His did tail sumptuous snacks. What was he to do?How could he profess her tail-waggingandtrumped he then threatened her away from vanished into maze the of buildings. Penny merely looked over her shoulder and bowingwhined, to appease her, but trotting away. He panicked and upon raising his saw head Penny competition, he growled, but saw aflash white.of Sensing bowed to acookie,and take air around his head. He a crescendo that stirred the wind,the building then into fro, at first gentlycaressing He felt his sway tail to and caring ifhe remained clean. rolled not himself dirt, inthe to contain his excitement, Max biscuits basket. inacookie Unable sandwiches,cheese and duck and potato outBiscuit had set and Lady peanut beef butter lamb cookies, and dog without apermanent home. Treat particular Onthis Day, the never judgedLady appeared who on her doorstep, agray especially airin the around him.He had always felt welcome here. The Biscuit emergence of dogsusually relaxing backyards. intheir parks producing an layer extra of delights, olfactory sudden the otherthe days: tang the of liver air, inthe lining poop the the across his face. Treat Day! Treat Day always different smelled from light. Hethe sniffed air once,rippled twice, grin and a goofy Well time. this First he Max had really pooch screwed the He trotted towards familiar the brick building, scents wafting On aTuesday, Max awoke, He alert. fully stretched, his long *** himself that Penny that himself comparable tohis comparable “During times of “During timesof weakness, Max would admitto had atail own”

sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 21 *** good grooming romping the rain of out place warmth love yummies • • • heart, 3) loyalty, 1) good 2) healthy bark, Spices: * Added 4) sexy tail A Secret Recipe: How to Win a Lady’s Heart a Lady’s Win to A Secret Recipe: How • • • The next day, Max returned to the bakery with a plan. He to the bakeryreturned plan. Max a with next day, The Max stared at the recipe long after the sun played jump-rope jump-rope played sun the after long the recipe at stared Max pile of crates, selected one, and gently dragged it down the alley down and it dragged gently and selected one, crates, of pile haunches to wait. After a few minutes he barked again. The Biscuit The again. he barked few minutes a After wait. to haunches she a whisk. “What?” with stirring something outside, Lady came the to behind the can trash way his made Max Deliberately, barked. satisfying nonetheless. He finished his business and strode to strode the and business his finished He satisfying nonetheless. completely mind his face set his determination, with door, back his on curt sat one and back gave He hand. focused the at task on down the street to prepare. to the street down was but the plan, part of not which was peed the building, on hours debating the myriad combinations of ways to win Penny. As As win Penny. to ways of combinations the myriad debating hours He it. upon came suddenly Max again, about came turn the sun’s sped off and the night, during cramped which had tail, his wagged how many yummies it took to woo a lady’s heart? Was a good bark heart? Was woo a lady’s to took yummies it many how upon tumbled Thoughts menacing? and soft or loud and throaty spent he as slightly frowning night, the entire sat Max themselves. with the moon. The recipe was rather vague – how was he to know to know he was how – vague rather recipe was The the moon. with to read. to he saw the etchings of a smile on her face. Returning his attention attention his Returning face. her a smile on of the etchings saw he sensedbut sniffed the edges, gingerly book, Max the damaged to began and nosed down, the book lay open, He dangerous. nothing writing: “A Secret Recipe: How to Win a Lady’s Heart.” He sensed He Heart.” a Lady’s Win to Secret Recipe: How “A writing: doorway. her see glanced to Lady the at Biscuit and movement, swore Max but withdrew, quickly she him looking saw she When a waterlogged book. The title was almost unreadable, and many many and unreadable, book. was almost The title a waterlogged eventually Max erased, but completely almost were the words of detected the archaic barely Max Squinting, out. it puzzled the air. It certainly wasn’t food. He leaned closer and realized it was was realized it closer and leaned food. He certainly wasn’t It the air. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 22 smile, peed on trash the cansmile, out peed of for respect building, the and to one side, Biscuitwatched the Lady until he gave her adebonair crates the he had all taken and piles the of all Head wood. cocked out of sight. Aftertime, a he returned and thisrepeated actionuntil left side rightbecausethethe door theof side to sloped close too that read “Mutt Hutt.” Penny had to enter structure the from the of shack. the crooked the Over archway was amelted-looking sign through top the centimeter of plank the and to wall the embedded inexplicably against sideof the shack, the asingle nail bored crates and planks at wood useless locations. plank leaned A wood with nails sticking out at angles. odd Tree limbs were affixed to waythe sun the gave field the earthyits smell. freshsmelled flowers,scentthe treesthewind,of in and in reveled her toinstructed follow sound the of his bark. As she trotted, she He woods. the had her her close down eyeshalfway lane, the and happy he wagged himself into atree. shifted again, Penny to make decided Max her mate. so Max was found herself softening her attitude towards him. seasonsthe As manholes to puff beforetailup his visitedhe her.Overtime, Penny lustrous. She later that learned Max took care over to walk open cat. Impression His was impeccably fur was everything. shiny and How does amangy stray keep clean? so her and his shiny coat. Penny had to admit –he intrigued her. contradiction animals dead he dirt-encrusted brought the between and he always brought different presents. She often puzzled the at hypnotize her remains amystery. like aclockwith pendulum. toher flirt Whetheror he was trying bone, next the it mouse was adead he letswing back and forth haunts, bringing various treats with him.One day it was alamb worked his way into Penny’s routine. He sat outside her favorite Penny his creation. In his building between efforts, he had slowly frustration and effort, Max was finally satisfied and ready to show stop his work and ten clean minutes. his paws every After weeks of he because had Pennypartly inmind, and he because had to partly coated whisk. disappeared before she could lovingly thwack himwith her lamb- When she opened her eyes,Penny at gazed alopsided shack One day Penny he escorted down asecretpath ensconced in No matter how often she ignoredalways him, he returned, Max’s invention classified could labor kindly be as a of love, *** she wondered. He’s like a sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 23 Max thought, and shimmied his way inside. inside. way shimmied his and thought, Max

After a time, she stooped and crawled outside again, facing facing again, outside crawled and stooped she a time, After The inside was uglier than the outside. A bed lay on the far on far the A bed lay outside. uglier was the inside than The Dog bed eyes! Dog bed remained silent. Max was so proud of himself; she didn’t want to to want didn’t she himself; of so was proud Max silent. remained and turned Penny again, frisky once Feeling ruin excitement. his Hutt. the into grin, swayed lascivious most then her Max with fixed found an eccentric Scottie to carve a wood panel that hung on the on hung carve to Scottie eccentric that a wood an panel found the dog sniffing a well-kept showed It Hut. the Mutt to entrance but Max, at glanced sideways Penny a beautiful female. of bottom and otherwiseand flirting. had new Max her pad. examine better to more once the shack entered their new home. Penny felt a sudden rush of affection for for affection rush of a sudden felt Penny their new home. entered blur in a together wagged Their tails their new home. for and Max play-biting the shack, around they romped and gray, and white of sheepishly, self-consciously pawing the ground. He was the one the one was He the ground. pawing self-consciously sheepishly, Tailwagging. the after the week during treats her who brought had surprise when she her to her, for just some saved had he And a bowl of week-old food. On top was a little pile of peanut-butter peanut-butter of pile a little was food. top On week-old a bowl of few the last of then the events and a second, for stared She treats. grinning who was Max, to turned She place. into clicked weeks side, presumably stolen from a group of mice that decided chew to mice that of a group from stolen presumably side, to next lay water brackish A bowl of the inside. from out their way ground. ground. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 24 Because Ilike snow,Because too. I am jealous on his back legs, My up dogruns steep slopes over he so falls backwards, spinning And inviting. And deep. And cold. The snowwhite. is As he through runs snow. My dogis ablack blur My doglikes snow. My dogis black. grin. up to coming his nostrils, out with awhite beard, and a burrowing in rotating ‘til he’s forward and slides downhill, his face by Randy Eggert Jealous sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 25 by Peggy Kadir Peggy by The Girl Who Spoke Who Girl Cat The “I also speak Horse,” Martha announced. announced. Martha also speak“I Horse,” we her. believedThis time The cat’s back arched. Its hair stood on end. With startled it With eyes, stoodon end. hair Its arched. back cat’s The the room. from bolted “Now what do you want her to do?” asked. to her Martha want do you what “Now suggested. someone away,” go to her “Tell soft sound. another made Martha The cat entered the room and room the entered cat The quizzically. Martha Looked at “What do you want her to do.” Martha asked. Martha do.” to her want do you “What replied. we in,” come to her “Tell noise. unusual soft, another made Martha When the cat passed the doorway the cat again, When sound. unusual a soft, made Martha her. at stared and in mid-stride stopped cat The “I speak Cat.” We made derisive sounds. derisive made We speak“I Cat.” said. she you,” show “I’ll Finding us uninteresting, it had moved. moved. had it uninteresting, us Finding remarked, Martha it passed, time last The Our hostess had prepared coffee and cakes. and coffee prepared had Our hostess rising. were decibels noise The passed had the doorway cat several times. Her Then I met Martha. met I Then klatch. coffee a morning at was It I had never known anyone who spoke Cat. Cat. who spoke anyone known never I had cats. with who spoke someone mean I don’t No, Cat. who spoke someone I mean sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 26 was (for that year) stronger were. than they werewho 1and 2years younger than me. faster Icould run and I would get my revenge, and it would on be 2youngest the brothers of day the “ITS ON thinking, NOW, YOU BASTARDS!!” LITTLE I feeling outcastedcrying, and defeated. Isimmered remainder the juicy,kinda frog the dropped to ground the lifeless, Iran home sizeofthe potatoes over all my back. Ifinally got it out, dead, half slapping me on back! Ijust the I’d knew have big ugly, brown warts, his little suction turning toes, to hysterics ran as around they me was screaming murder bloody as Ifelt that frog grabbing me with othersthe back of the grabbed my and shirt, put afrog down it. I me, two of grabbing them one hand each,Icouldn’t get loose, me to hang with Iwas them, instantly suspicious. They surrounded creek catching frogs. Acting to me, friendly wanted like all they want to hang out with They them. were their wayon fromback the onethen of got them agreat how idea to convince me how not to stop me. Iturned into this agame. gave They inacoupletimes, coming. Iwas persistent, Iwanted to play and weren’t they gonna They wouldalways run saw they when away to hide me try and cowboysbe or Indianswiththem. said. This they started rivalry my presence was not wanted. Iwas a girl, and girls are not allowed to with my older brothers, or I thought. so Little didIknow, that my I could now from escape house the and play games outside by Kelly Verdejo Exerpt sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 27

Mud Pies Mud by Dr. Joyce Murray Joyce Dr. by We splashed each other until Aunt Clarice came and washed washed and Clarice came Aunt until each other splashed We Then we decided we wanted pies, so we found a big puddle big a found pies, we so we decidedwe wanted Then “Aunt Clarice, may Jack come out and play?” and out come Jack may Clarice, “Aunt a large found and orchard, Fred’s Uncle for off I took and Jack From then on, Aunt Clarice would say to bem “Joyce, dear, please dear, bem to “Joyce, say Clarice would Aunt then on, From Jack”. with pies mud play don’t Jacked! I loved and pies mud I loved chance! Fat young (4 years old) that boy/girl stuff was way, way off. way way, was stuff boy/girl that old) (4 years young machine in the washing clothes out put all, and and both,us hair ;Jack and I became “mud kids”. In our lovely pink and blues clothes clothes blues and pink lovely our In kids”. I became “mud and ;Jack Clarice called Aunt fun—until Great babies! became chocolate we so are We in the bathtub. us of the two put and in the house us of water and began stirring our batter, which was dark brown dirt brown dark which was batter, began stirring our and water of pies, mud making of the process In pies. mud for “mud” water: and bedroom (which we climbed into and laid down), a kitchen which a kitchen down), laid and into climbed (which we bedroom candy Clarice’s Aunt from taken some had in (we fudge made we jar. pear tree in the orchard. There was not fruit at this spring time spring at this fruit not was There pear in the orchard. tree a had We limbs. the various of out a ‘house’ so made we year, of “Yes, he may. It would be nice if you two could stay clean” she she clean” stay could two beif you nice would It may. he “Yes, encouraged. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 28 of my time. exhausted Iwas so by Igot time the home; Iwould were other things that go way. inthe and School working took most out ifthere were any Ididn’t have. quickly as Icould. Iwent from record shop to record shop to find would happily doany chores to make money Icould buy so it as ofall that them Icould get my hand on. If one anew came out, I it. first the to be onesee it. Iwasto anxious to all tell friends aboutmy “Awas called Hard Day’s Night.” eager Iwas to so it. go Iwanted see about. Icould talk was all It drove my family crazy. my favorite shows excited. Iwas so about Italked it for days. That Sunday.every When Ifound out were they going on to be one of I was inlove. wanted It them! went beyond wanting. Ifelt them. needed Iactually accomplished. The moreBeatles recordsthat came out,the more I music Icould get my hands on. When Ibought something Ifelt money Ihappily ran to record the store and bought any Beatles exhausted by end the of day, the but Ihad money. with my So music. and heard more songs, more the Beatles Ifelt enchanted by their hold. to hear Ineeded that song. The more Ilistened the radio to really wanted to hear more of that song. Even was put football on I wasn’t much into listening to radio, the but of all asudden, I and “I songwas Beatles the the was Wanna called Hold Your Hand.” namethe of that song Iheard, and wrote who She it?” told me it game Iwent back into my sister’s room and Iasked her, “What was I was playing Icould not get song the out of my mind. Afterthe no attention, or Ithought. so Iwent outside to play football. While question. Iremember hearing asong on radio, the but Ireally paid As Igot older, Idrifted awayfrom my becausetheremusic albums. of all Beatles I wasthe to determined Ibought collect I rememberBeatles first the movie when was coming out. It Beatles wereThe coming on a showthat to watch I used SaturdayEvery money Iearned by mowing lawns. Iwas When Iwas younger Iwent into my sister’s room to ask her a Yesterday and Today by Rudy Pedersen sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 29 money to money on me spend any more” “I don’t have “I don’t I was working late one night and was already feeling tired tired feeling already was and night one late working I was I was in my last year of high when a good school, of friend year last in my I was Then something horrible horrible Then something this concert gave me some kind of closure. I still listen to my my to I still listen closure. kind of some me gave this concert big been a always The have Beatles the radio. on and Beatles albums that. I will forget life! never my part of feelings came back to me at the concert. All the emotions from my my from All the concert. the emotions at me to back came feelings I realized the the excitement. sadness, the happiness, days; younger see Somehow thisconcert. come I could thankful that I was how forgot the Beatles though. They were a big part of me growing up! me of growing big part a the Beatleswere They though. forgot the to go to able I was and S. L.C. recently to came McCartney Paul All stirred. those old that me of inside something was there concert, years have passed for me. The responsibilities of being a family man man of a family being responsibilities The me. passed for have years to money have I don’t things. “outside” for time short my cut have I never bills. and family my on I spend it more. any me spend on happen to somebody so many people loved! I went home and lay lay and home I went loved! people so somebody to many happen the Beatles, their thinking about hours for there bed. I lay my on Many life. my they impacted had how and their hardships, music, and irritated when I heard some very disturbing news. Somebody very some disturbing when I heard irritated and angry! was I furious! was I City! York New in Lennon John shot had could that like believe something couldn’t and devastated I was blew me away. It was better than I ever imagined it could be. It be. It could it I ever imagined than better was It away. blew me goose me bumps. actually gave ticket. I waited and waited. I felt like I would never make it to the to it make never I would like I felt waited. and I waited ticket. came when finally day The my ticket. booth.got I did! I ticket Then, thrilled. I was concert. concert The awaited long see to my I went informed me that one of the Beatles was doing a concert in Salt in Salt a concert the Beatles doing of was one that me informed I had hometown!!! my to coming was Harrison “George Lake City. a get to line in waiting hours many see go I spent thisto concert! it. I was absolutely devastated. It astounded me. How could this could How me. astounded It devastated. absolutely I was it. happen? so shocked to hear about it. It made made It it. about hear to so shocked very hope me sad, because so I had much believe not cried. them. I almost I could for them. I was up. broke The Beatles happened. and promptly fall into a deep sleep. I still I a deep sleep. fall into promptly and collected all the new Beatles albums. get I raced to out soon they as were As strip off my clothes, fall into my soft bed fallclothes, into my off strip sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 30 A remembrance of memories tragic. so A joy with an abundance of magic Becomes a ballet before aballet Becomes your eyes Bring sweet and tender tinkling. Everyone should inthere midst Music that comes from heaven, Like the sound the Like of angels wings These AreThese The Simple Things. Watching with your mind, as With tender gentle emotion. At least one tiny Music Box. The boxmusic maybecome Even music ifthe is bouncy Or somethinglike bouncy Wind My Beneath Wings, The Box Music It well be very could also Even music ifthe rocks, gracefulness Ingracefulness motion, Music and melody like Soft Soft and velvet tones by Joyce Luttrell sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 31 Raising a boy is hard is hard boy a Raising I don’t remember. remember. I don’t Was it the day the principal had to to had principal the day the it Was Was it the end of fifth grade, when grade, fifth of end the it Was (The quittings coincided with the with coincided quittings (The by Paige Kimball Paige by fix him because he could fix anything, and anything, fix he could fix him because And I believe. I want to believe, need to believe. need believe. believe, to to I want I believe. And would Son of Superman (S.O.S) Superman Son of Finally, his sophomore year of high school I threw up my my high school I threw up of year sophomore his Finally, University at the hours his back Cut Super too. tried, The Or was it during my own depression? my during Or it was What they tell me must be true, I think. they must me tell What I was imagining I stopped moment the precise know I don’t The baby’s story is different, of course. Little Eli is stunned. stunned. is Little Eli course. of story is different, The baby’s We are ecstatic in that first photo together. Sharing the Sharing together. photo first in that ecstatic are We Hospital, cut back his paycheck to help his eldest son with on-line on-line with son eldest his help to paycheck his back cut Hospital, He schoolwork. hands and turned him over to Dad—or Superman, whatever you you whatever Superman, Dad—or to him over turned and hands call to him. want Perhaps it was a slow whittling away of hope over the years. over hope of away whittling a slow was it Perhaps from the car when he tripped.) tripped.) when he the car from for institutionalized was Eli and tumor, a brain of died Jim Grandpa depression? the neighborhood soccer team? soccer neighborhood the ankles his wrapped bullies of a couple the day incident, tape duct watching I was know didn’t He school. from the walkon home boy, to soothe him adequately. soothe to him adequately. boy, grade--the third into and steps school elementary the up carry him and piano quit he year the it Was Iraq? for Dad left his day same and I am this baby’s everything. this baby’s I am and the very seemed start I never satisfy to my Eli. From for enough work, but the joy will overshadow the fatigue, and your love will love your and fatigue, the will overshadow joy the but work, enough. be always Residency, Medicine Emergency his starting just is husband My like a red potato. But all of his vital parts are affixed and bloodand affixed vital parts his all are of But potato. a red like arms. secure is in our He limbs. skinny his through courses His face is swollen, eyes blinking in the flood of fluorescent light, light, fluorescent in the flood blinking eyes of swollen, face is His wrinkled, ruddy, skin is His ointment. antibiotic with glazed over flushed; droplets of sweat speckle my forehead. My husband’s blue- husband’s My forehead. my speckle of sweat droplets flushed; are We father. a first-time of the exuberance with eyes sparkle gray faces. our stretches smiling, so wide it hospital phone, a long-distance call to my parents in Utah, in Utah, parents call my to a long-distance phone, hospital are cheeks My boy. new baby our the birth of about chattering sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 32 always back up them end. inthe sewed He’d dished out novels of pressurelethal on organs, vital or to beating aheart start again. He people back together, sometimes cracking open them to relieve anyone. By time, this Super the had spent fifteenyears putting his siblings safe, watch as they witheyes and wide evenasecret that and rules him bend were break to keep very set the himand over you Do a time? all lethimwalk you doormat? like asisal Let choosing mistake after mistake,self-destructing tinyone piece at with your defiant teenageson? What do youwhen do him yousee of to wilderness ride the Sandreadful the Swell: Rafael Life and “The Adventures of Superman’s Wife”,wrote I aboutthat through another assignment. geometry spent an occasional day skiing slopes the with Eli,or tutoring him biggerwas all than him.And it wasn’t going to stop just he because and dosages, psychiatrist the visits, continual the disconnection--it puzzle to snap into place. The arguments over medication types efficient mind slowed down just long enough thefor pieces the of Eli’s hand through college, something finally just clicked. His something. His own son. his life, he he realized couldn’t Ithink something—one fix big very away, but it was evenharder for Super. the For first the time in out. The decision was noteasy for sendingme, my oldest child time-out” vast inthe chair of nature. atime And really needed Eli him into program. awilderness become acreature quite unfixable by either of so sentus. And we Big Brick Wall. competent, and he had to all break through was his own insecurity. boomeranged back to us with g-force. he everwanted All was to be autonomy. In words the of “I his toddlerhood, doit myself” all his own language. Formed his own alliances.Was desperate for Men’s President inour Ward. Everyone came to Super the for help. to midwivesskills inthird world countries, and was evenYoung advice nurses,to struggling splinted limbs in Haiti, taught lifesaving What do you you dowhen can’t live through another day 11/23/10 We up Eli signed for Wilderness day. that very In my blog, When therapist the asked Super the ifhe planned on holding Wilderness Camp is an intervention. Aginormous “teenager At age fifteen, it was apparent that our babysweet boy had But teenage this boy was adifferent creature. He spoke sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 33 wilderness” “There are no space in the heaters 11/25/11 Two days ago, when we dropped him off at wilderness camp, at wilderness camp, off him dropped when we ago, days Two 11/24/11 in wilderness.the spaceheaters no are There in the day one a deep depression into went first Grumps Now, it is night. The storm has raged by, leaving a thick leaving by, raged has storm The night. is it Now, Those two hours were anything but fun. He went ape in the went He fun. but anything were hours Those two speed. at freeway of car the out jump he triedThen to We drove two hours into the Southern Utah desert, being the Utah Southern into hours two drove We No. You send him into the a wilderness in the middle of sendinto him You No. pages when on different of being years after I, and Super The Grumps dressed in fatigues and wore one of his dad’s military caps. military caps. dad’s his of one wore and in fatigues dressed Grumps of military the shoulders sew me stripes made on army-green He sweater. wool his fourth grade. It was the same day the Super deployed for the war the war for deployed the Super day the same was It grade. fourth several for be gone would if the Super know didn’t We in Iraq. Young back. come would Or if he several or years. months counselors, then asphyxiating, being then asphyxiating, counselors, with in the morning cold stone found Dead. eyes open. his to death. I’m having hallucinations hallucinations having I’m death. to the space up cranking him secretly of his to unbeknownst tonight, heater be hitting the Swell about now. If I didn’t I didn’t If now. about the Swell be hitting a mother, of a failure like feel already will freeze Grumps worried I’m now blanket of snow over all that dared to stay put outside. It should should It outside. put stay to dared all that over snow of blanket he screamed. “You’re ruining my life!” We’d heard the sentiment the sentiment heard We’d life!” ruining my “You’re screamed. he have may this time we and it, meant this really time he but before, believed him a little. strangers. away,” me throwing fucking “You’re the dash. punched-in He car. chased by the worst snow storm in Utah’s history, with only the only with history, in Utah’s storm snow the worst chased by total of a group to him over turned and back, his on clothes it came to raising Grumps, years of discontent and floundering floundering and discontent of years Grumps, raising to came it Wilderness to our to son agreed send finally have parenthood, Camp. roaring blizzard. roaring jealousy? sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 34 physical similarities were haunting, but hollow the especially look trousers, chunky wool sweater, heavy-duty The boots. hiking jeans—anddesigner dressed himinarmy green once more. Thick stripped himofthey his street clothes—the logoskinny the t-shirt, the twothe people loved who himmost whole inthe world. tumbled inthrough cracks,was the happy, Eli sandwiched between frozen ground hurt my joints, and was sleep fleeting, and snow bags as astorm hurled in,safe from fury. the And though the two junipers.between We snuggled like sardines inour sleeping locked for hadheart been long. so softenedthatall their of hearts night, and we becauseEli’swere glad Milky Way rolled across sky. the Something about wilderness the fixing. needed untilthetalked fire We burned into ashes the and in Eli’s head—thingsto celebrate, things to ponder, things that counselors, too. We about talked had discovered things the they washeart burning, too. And as we warmed ourselves around fire, the secretlywe hishoped together. We on blew glowing the thing until it aflame. became of wespeck pushed dirt, and until pulled we had created an ember spark.new With no more than some sticks and astone and awee spark of hope inside. When he finallygathered himself,Eli made a emotional She flood. asked him histo identify feelings, to find a miracle. away my fears, and gave they me hope for It healing. a was truly intensely for home, but his tears were like abaptism. washed They behaviors, or he he because realized loved us, or he because longed genuinely ached. Idon’t know ifit ached with regret for his hurtful he cried him. Somewhere under layers of and was soot our dirt boy, and that blasted, freaking expensive, bordering-on-child-abuse-camp? warm enough? Is he getting enough to eat? Is he learning anything in were more nights below past freezing this winter than ever. in his eyes,his hunched shoulders. It was anight never forget, I’ll one Inever want to forget. I We slept with himon frozen the ground, strung under atarp Finally, weeks into several program, the we were able to visit Night night afterfrigid we worried about son.our There vulnerableGrumps little was avery boy once more. . Cried like achild.. Cried He humbled, had been and his heart That night, boys other joined them the fire,at the and A counselor with reached dreadlock out toinhis Eli Is he sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 35 Joy will overshadow will overshadow Joy has certainly played out out certainly played has But in the mean time, don’t don’t time, in the mean But The advice I was offered fifteen offered I was advice The

. The image is of a young Dad, holding holding Dad, young of a is image . The raising a boy is hard work, is hard a boy raising Hopefully, with perseverance and the grace of God, the grace the of and perseverance with Hopefully,

And secondly, that cape is not perfect. My mother made it it made mother perfect. not is My cape that secondly, And easy. not is a son Parenting It is a touching image. But I can offer some insight into the into insight some offer I can But image. a touching is It Hanging on the wall of the Wilderness office is a print called, print is a office the the wall Wilderness on of Hanging I see a jewel somewhere inside of Eli now. I see glimpses of I see of glimpses Eli now. of I see inside a jewel somewhere the fatigue, and my love will be enough. will be love my and fatigue, the our letting back, stepping are I and Superman help. any us offer cape. earn own his boy years ago, that that ago, years life. in my in time. pass to will come the sentiment of rest Superman’s cape is red. is cape Superman’s very cousin who inspired me to send Eli away. send Eli to me away. very who inspired cousin but blue, was dress The dress. prom my from scraps leftover with might to his daddy’s legs on the night he left, pleading, until he was he was pleading, until left, he the night legs on daddy’s his to might his And a is boy today. That struggling alcoholic off. shaken finally the Camp, Wilderness to thanks inspiration, his is brother younger the inspiration for the painting, and that father was not a perfect not was father that and the painting, for the inspiration on out he walked was captured image the after Shortly parent. allwith his clung The boy man. another be lover, his to with her sidewalk. were her ex-husband and son first sister’s all, my of First painting. his sons hand, the skinny boy donning sandals and a blue cape cape a blue and sandals donning boy the skinny hand, sons his the boy toward headis tipped dad’s The “S.” iron-on red a big with a tree-lined down they as ear walk hand-in-hand a listening with Ever. Ever. a Dad Needs Superman Even Super. I hope my son chooses to be a part of the Mormon Church, Church, chooses be the son Mormon to a part of my I hope Super. not I’m But contentment. and joy much me brought has it for again. it about him with I will And fight never breath. my holding it when he laughs, or when he helps his little sister learn a kick flip learn flip a kick sister little his helps when he or laughs, when he it who needs to one the only Eli I also isn’t know skateboard. her on so does the undeniably, parent; learn his as to much I have change. could survive other kinds of scrubbing, too. And one day he would would he day one And too. scrubbing, of survive kinds could other see in the mirror. looked a jewel when his he scrubbed off. That he was merely a diamond in the rough.The inthe a diamond merely was he scrubbedThat off. the one like survive could he if storms painful, but was scrubbing he cold, and hunger of ache constant the near and outside, raging knew that like a crude jem stone, my son’s rough edges were being were edges rough son’s my a crude like jemknew stone, that sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 36 1 across parquet the floor bourre’esand executedpad de pointe.on Ibegan pointework. schoolwhen in high Ipirouetted on toe enabledshoe me to elevé onto tips the of my Iwas toes. ajunior Lambswool my padded Theflattened toes. box the at front the of pointe onpink with shoes satin toe pale the ribbons. Itried shoes. took me to a store fitted where experts the Capeziomy in feet years, Iworked my feet, getting ready them for pointework. Mom LAST QUARTER howl! injects antibiotic the right into wound the with alarge syringe. I yellow matter clump forth. Igag from foul the odor. The doctor skin and down runs my hip. He incision, the squeezes and gobs of incision site. He cuts openwound. the Yellow pus onto oozes my feverish. Thesays doctor I have thean infection in appendectomy miss afew days of school. Two weeks later, I’m inpain and feel Mormon parents find out aboutthe liquor. do with pain the I’m in.Certainly, Icouldn’t letmy dysfunctional parents us meet at St. Mark’s hospital. moment, Iblack out. My an ambulance, calls girlfriend and my my abdominal pain intensifies. layfriends My me down. For a tosold me without asking for ID. Ihave buzz agood going, but flashing lights. bassdeep The of in thrums music my ears. abdomen. I’m at Palladium, dancing with my beneath friends February Saturday night, sharp pains stab right the sideof my WANING GIBBOUS I had been a ballerina since Iwas five aballerina I hadyears been old. Forthirteen Thesays doctor I have appendicitis andsurgery. need I only I lieabout imbibing. alcohol the Ithink has something to Earlier, wine coolers that Ihad drunk Asian the market I’m ajunior school. In inhigh City, Salt Lake on asnowy

Thoreau, Henry David.“Walden.” “The life in us theis like water “The river.”the in Expressions by Cyndi Lloyd 1 sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 37 had had 2 between one-half and and between one-half Australopithecus And everythingAnd do you all yellow” they were Yeah, . Look how they shine for you they for Look shine how “Look at the stars at “Look Yellow . The reason for this may be that natural selection favored selection favored natural be that may this for reason . The Coldplay. Thick clouds smudge the moon’s light and tentacles drift. tentacles and light moon’s the smudge clouds Thick reveals that record archaeological The Tippy toes. Tip toe. Tip toe. Night after night (I’m 10, 11, (I’m night after Night toe. Tip toe. toes. Tip Tippy Homo three-quarters of the body’s weight is put upon the foot hitting the hitting the foot upon put is weight the body’s of three-quarters 2 to chase prey. Longer toes require more exertion of muscles, muscles, of exertion more toes require Longer prey. chase to to exertion more require and damage, and stress more causing running, While stability. the body’s maintain of of that hypothesis postulates running. long-runner The toes for stubby ancestors savannah-dwelling our assisted have may the adaptation NEW the toes than longer but apes, the those great toes than of shorter floor. Listening. They talk. I wait. TheyThey They leap listen. wait. I talk.talk. talk. I I Listening. floor. laugh. They I them. and grab scream! the floor from all fours just before the door and crawl into my younger brothers’ brothers’ younger my into crawl and the door before just all fours Patience. stop. quiet. I They They I crawl. talkand Slowly. room. on the between their beds. I lay I’m until They I crawl, talkand down the hallway of our Boise house. It’s an art scaring someone. art scaring someone. an It’s Boise our house. of the hallway down the creaky I know must. absolute an is Silence toe. Tip toe. Tip to toe. I drop Tip toe. Tip wall.the myself along press I floorboards. and 12 years old)– as long as my parents are downstairs, I creep I creep downstairs, are parents my as long as old)– 12 years and WANING CRESCENT WANING pink satin ribbons around each slipper, wrapped them in the tissue, them in the tissue, wrapped each slipper, around ribbons satin pink bed. my them under stowed and them the in box, put shoebox. Months passed before I removed them from their box and and their box them from I removed passed before Months shoebox. six another toe shoes for in my I danced feet. my them on slipped the high I wound school. Ballet I graduated ended once months. my exposed flesh, pain emanated from my toe, throbbing. During toe, my throbbing. from exposed emanated flesh, pain my I ballet pink old slippers. my wearing to ballet reverted I class, the them into put and paper shoes in the tissue pointe my wrapped big toenail. A crust of yellow pus ringed my toe’s cuticle. I had to to I had cuticle. toe’s my ringed pus yellow A crust of toenail. big the touch water any have I couldn’t and toe wrapped, my keep hit when the air the dressing, exposed skin. Every time I changed After a few months of dancing in them, inevitably, I lost my right my right I lost in inevitably, them, of dancing fewmonths a After sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 38 the momentum,the pushing you. ground. The do moretoes work becausethey running provide in 4 3 camp. Idid.”camp. through boot one madeit “Not every London,Jack. “To Builda Fire.” Keim,Brandon. “These sage bushes, and patches of flowersdaisies, likewild yellow placementparticular of various trees, barberry, rose, and straight-edged; instead, it contains created by curves the growingbe place. The grass insuch yardrock adry isn’t steppe and humid continental climate zones. We shouldn’t a rock yard. Makes given sense valley’s the midlatitude For instance, there’s a I don’t have to concentrate on getting over walk the with. for my eyesand brain to absorb beauty the around me, and balance, and my bearing weight. body Walking allows time I’d rather my use stubby for toes maintaining walking, my one made itevery through camp. boot Idid. and complete within required the run time. Not every myself from physical the pain and psychological turmoil won’t“This last forever.” Withthat mantra,separaterun. I I much! Maybe Ishouldn’t be here negativethe voice inmy mind: even though I’m inOrlando. I push on. Ifight against hurt.ankles Asideache Ican’t starts. regulate my breathing thatpace my gets me Ineed.Soon, time the and knees hugethe rising sun. Ipush to myself, maintain trying a feelingrunning, not but good, okay. Ifeel like I raceagainst morning at every begins fiverunning, o’clock. I start out camp for two months. PT, physical training, includes which I’m 19-years-old and United inthe States Navy at boot tickseed, and tall sunflowers. andtickseed, tall is great for clearing mind, the making it “He was quick things inthe of and alert

WAXING CRESCENT house inmy neighborhoodwith 3 but only things, inthe and not inthe Toes Yellow is my favorite color. Yellow Were MadeforRunning.” I can’t do this. It hurts too . But, one day Itell myself: significances.” life, 4 sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 39 5 drift below. mighty breeze; mighty Yellow.” soon though, nature will their heads. lob soon nature though, New tulips sprout in red, white, and yellow. and white, in red, sprout tulips New “Color “These are for you, Mom.” I extend my five-year-old hand hand five-year-old my I extend Mom.” you, for “These are the air. permeated had bark soil and Wet summer. early It’s It’s a warm April, and Dad makes me sit out in the sun. My My in the sun. out sit me Dad makes and April, a warm It’s At 16, I complain of feeling tired all doctor tired The the time. feeling of 16, I complain At A yellow rosebud opens, blushing at the tips of her silky her petals. of the tips at blushing opens, rosebud A yellow Twelve-foot sunflowers bob their weighty yellow blooms in the blooms yellow weighty bob their sunflowers Twelve-foot The last yellow quaking aspen leaves shimmer in the sunlight and and sunlight in shimmer the quakingaspen leaves yellow last The My neighborhood’s flowerbeds beckoned me with bold smells and and smells me with bold beckoned flowerbeds neighborhood’s My 5 kitchen which remains muddled in shadows. Mom turns from the from turns Mom in shadows. muddled which remains kitchen me. at looks down and dishes washing she’s sink where kitchen clutching flowers. The morning light hasn’t reached our west-facing west-facing our reached hasn’t light morning The flowers. clutching WAXING GIBBOUS WAXING sleepiness to go to school and complete my homework. In the end, the end, In homework. my complete school and to go to sleepiness classes. all I pass my the best, but grades aren’t my almost over, and my grades have fallen. I don’t want to repeat my my repeat to want fallen. I don’t grades have my and over, almost only but to releases me school, back doctor The year. sophomore with I quarrel Daily, back. strength my I get until half days for next door neighbor delivers my homework, but I can’t concentrate. concentrate. I can’t but homework, my delivers neighbor door next because the me semester’s I fall which scares behind in school, fixes me breakfast, eggs and oatmeal, every morning before he goeshe every and oatmeal, eggsbefore breakfast, morning me fixes an for school I miss a blur. becomes life and I sleep a lot, work. to month. entire says I have the colloquial “kissing disease”–mono. Mononucleosis. Mononucleosis. disease”–mono. the colloquial “kissing I have says weak. Dad I feel neck. nodes in my lymph eyes. Swollen Jaundiced FIRST QUARTER FIRST from nervousness, panic, and exhaustion, it enables a sharper enables it exhaustion, and panic, nervousness, from lethargy from protects it skills,and boosts concentration memory, weather. dull during depression and express yourself and increases written and verbal eloquence. Want Want verbal eloquence. and written increases and yourself express Carry yellow awareness? mental your and movement stimulate to relief making, provides decision for clarity enhances Yellow stones. active and alert. Wearing yellow clothing increases the ability to to the ability increases clothing yellow alert.and Wearing active sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 40 bouquet gingerly not inmy to beauty. their crush trying palms The they’re “flowers” called they’reand pretty.fragrant I theheld purple, and yellow blooms. Idon’t know names–I their only know enticed me with deep, richcolors. Iplucked yellow, red, orange, 6 together. His arms move intoward his body, bringing of palms the his hands His movements to music the are controlled, yet smoothand timed. with music. the Iapproach him.“Do you arts?” martial take Icatchwall. his eyesfollowing my body’s movement inrhythm name. Iask him,“Is it your birthday?” and man this moves toward me. At first, I pretend not knowto his at me. The music thebreaks, DJ announcessome guy’s birthday, watching me. Now hardly his body moves to music. the He stares didn’t know man, good-looking this only his name. Inotice him FULL turn away. Icry, not comprehending error the of my desire. for my and apology tell me not to doit again. Ilower my and head for pickingsorry your flowers.” The women each at thankhouse me that’s answered, Ihold out now the squashed blossoms and say, “I’m by myself. I’m scared and don’t know whatAt to expect. eachdoor pretty flowers pass.we She makes me go theto neighbors’ doorsteps houses. to Idon’t several down sidewalk, the dare at look the all from, and you’re going to apologize.” “Pick up. those You’re going to show me houses the you took these flowers. What’swrong with you!” Shewipes her hands on a towel. is stealing. You can’t just go into other people’s yards and their take my escapade. She drops on posies counter. the the She says, “This Instead she demands, “Where Itell didyou her about get these?” and stained pollen mypetals fingertips andthem made sticky. “No,” he replies. For some reason Idon’t quite him. believe songA new plays and I dance. He stands against back the “No, that’s not me,” he says. My and friends Iare at Club DV8, and drinking dancing. I wilting the bloomsI scoop into my hands. Mom hauls me Mom my takes offering, but she doesn’twith smile pleasure. And Earth’s the rust-colored shadow moon. on falls full the

Abbey, Edward. “All something or time, the someone everywhere, is dying Desert Solitaire to please.” . 6 sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 41 . this this Wired.com the moon once: at a at once: the moon girl

. Emily Gems. Web. 24 Gems. Web. . Emily another The Norton Anthology of American American of Anthology Norton The . New York: Ballantine, 1968. Print. Ballantine, York: . New is my husband. my is Works Consulted Works Crystal-cure.com who was born on Mount Cynthus. Mount who born was on Desert Solitaire I am Cynthia, my feminine given name, given feminine my Cynthia, I am “Color Yellow.” Yellow.” “Color Oct. 2010. 18 Oct. 2010. 2009. Web. 20 Feb. Digital, Nast Condé his hands into the water and cupped the moon. Now, Now, the cupped moon. and the water into hands his man good-looking A long time ago, he gave gave he time ago, A long he moon; scooped reflected the the water fountain, square epithet for Artemis, the Greek goddess of the moon of goddess the Artemis, Greek for epithet The rest of the world falls away from us. We’re the only only the We’re us. from away falls world of the rest The We dance with each other, not physically, but in the same in the same but physically, not each other, with dance We London, Jack. “To Build a Fire.” a Fire.” Build “To Jack. London, Keim, Brandon. “These Toes Were Made for Running.” Running.” for Made Were Toes “These Brandon. Keim, Abbey, Edward. Edward. Abbey,

people there. people kiss is tantalizing and full of passion. Surges of energy I’ve never never energy I’ve of Surges full passion. and of tantalizing is kiss body. my experienced through rip We kiss and kiss. I want more. I want to explore his whole body whole his explore to I want more. I want kiss. and kiss We All I playing. is song what know I don’t mind. his of the depths and His in distance. exploding the a boom-boom, is fireworks hear like touch. Our lips join. My mouth parts easily for our first kiss. Our kiss. first our parts easily for mouth My join. Our lips touch. the in time with more some dance and release, entwine, tongues felt. never I’ve this passion body at my through courses Heat music. He moves his head towards mine and our foreheads naturally come come naturally foreheads our and mine head towards his moves He my cup to up hips my from move hands his Suddenly, together. gentle his head at my over spreads numbness of A sensation face. softness of his tanned skin. He places his muscular hands upon my upon muscularhands places his He skin. of his tanned softness in a flower like together press We the music. hear longer I no hips. veins. his through pulsing a book. heat between I feel of the pages space. He lightly runs his hands along my slender arms. His His arms. slender my along hands runs his lightly He space. I run shirt my exposes chest. muscular very his curvy, unbuttoned the his pecks, over savoring and breastbone his along fingertips sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 42 Schneider, Howard. Thoreau,David. Conclusion. Henry “Walden.” York: W.W. Norton &Company, 2008.919.Print. Anthology of American Literature National Geographic, 2009.Print. Company, 2008.1827.Print. Literature . 7 th Backyard Guide to the Night Sky Ed. Nina Baym. New York: W.W. Norton & . 7 th Ed. Nina Baym. New The Norton . Wash. D.C.: sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 43 by Fantasia Ward Fantasia by The Girl Who Was Was Gone! Who Girl The We all got into the car to take her to the hospital. We waited waited We the hospital. to take her to the car into all got We As the days went by, I would go to her house after school after house her to go I would by, went the days As in the middle up I woke over, sleeping when I was night One Her doctor came in and told us, “She has gotten worse, and and worse, gotten has “She us, told in and came doctor Her She tried to go to school for a few weeks. One day I got a I got day One weeks. a few school for tried to She go to When see to her. the hospital to me drive to mom my I asked She said, “She has been sick for awhile.” awhile.” been has for sick “She said, She Once, there was a girl who was seven years old. We met met We old. a girl who seven was was years there Once, had She there. wasn’t school she to when I went day One grade, and she became my best friend. We did everything best friend. We became my she and grade, nd and waited forever to see what happened. They took her into her into took They happened. see to what forever waited and and out doctor came Then the more. some waited we and surgery, She said, “I’m cold,” so I went to wake up her mom to tell her that that her tell to mom her up wake to so I went cold,” “I’m said, She Hannah. with wrong was something going well. well. going blue. turning face was her and Hannah, at I looked the night. of everyday to see her. I would help her with anything that she needed, she that anything with her help would I see everydayto her. all. A do it to there I was washing. and reading, eating, including were things but on, expecting I was move passed, to and her year back and told us, “She only has a year to live.” They couldn’t cure cure They couldn’t live.” to a year has only “She us, told and back Theyhad tried everything they could. the cancer. she needs some tests done.” They took her to the testing room, room, testing to her the took They done.” tests needs some she They came be to done. her for I waited and mom while Hannah’s I found Hannah, she looked so sad. I thought to myself, “I hope hope “I myself, to so looked sad. I thought she Hannah, I found her to come the to doctor for waited We be to alright.” going is she room. phone call when I got home from school. It was her mom. She said, said, She mom. her was It school. from home call when I got phone worse.” got has She in the hospital. is “Hannah sick?” asked, “Is Hannah ok?” Her mom was crying. “What’s wrong?” She She wrong?” crying. was mom “What’s ok?” Her Hannah “Is asked, be to alright?” told She going she “Is sick. was Hannah that me told get she did “When asked, I Then leukemia. has Hannah that me never missed a day of school. I went to her house to see why she she see to why house her to I went school. of missednever a day I answered. mom her and door her on I knocked there. wasn’t in 2 together. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 44 that she was my friend. best blood.” Ifelt that sad so my Ididn’t died! friend best eventell her told us, “We but are she sorry didn’t make it, She lost to much

sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 45 2560-2590 by Jaron Frost Jaron by Joss Paine - Sirea Paine - Sirea Paine Joss Beloved friends, taken too soon too friends, taken Beloved Orphan Wars (excerpt) Orphan Wars He had He never allowed himself to hope were that his parents But despite the evidence, want he to didn’t believe what he Many Many couldn’t hear the bell over the live music, the The headstone rose a foot from the uneven grass, names From From far above, buried in the usual layer of smog, the A warm breeze floated through themetropolitan streets of The last name on this gravestone even matched his own. his matched even on this gravestone name last The still alive. How could they be, when The so names of many the others dead had surrounded him, fallen? and the Tower Goddess’ reminded him of countless others who never even returned home.

had he hoping again, them read He granite. white on black in etched a mistake. made Remembrance Remembrance Pretzel. But from the graveyard a few streets away from Central Plaza, Zidaiku heard the steady ring and, despite his meaning. its forget not could best efforts, for three days. three for fresh a of crunch satisfying the or rides, carnival whirof mechanical tolling tolling all morning, each clear would festival ring The representing War. Demon a the in life his given human far thus had who soldier as continue long as the bell was planned rang, to and this last year’s skyscrapers, filling the city with a pulsing rhythm. pulsing a with filling city the skyscrapers, been had It head. brass great its swing to seemed Tower Bell Goddess’ to to or from Central Plaza, where festivities the had day’s just begun. Red banners flapped from streetlamps and all balconies, to the Remembrance Music Day echoed Fair. beckoning across the faces of sweet sweet chocolate, popcorn bathed in butter and salt. It wove its way through streams of heading cars, passengers bearing all taxi trains, electric and cabs buses, double-deck lit with neon advertisements, It carried Vaskel. the unusual scents of Remembrance Day: roasted cinnamon almonds, sausages seasoned with spice and onion, semi- sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 46 thing. couldn’ta provematch last-name simple a million, ten of city a In saw. He reminded himself that he had never known their first names. look back tolook his past again. Finding out would change nothing. away.question the shook HeNo. be...? really they Could mind. his in Angel’sburned wordsnames. of sea the at back looked Zidaiku a long out breath. “Okay. let I’m sorry.” She faded. slowly them between wrinkles concerned the okay?” gottenalong withoutfine far.so them Let’s just backthe Plaza, go to doesn’t matter who they were. Nothing can bring them back, and I’ve worried frown, but he ignored the resulting twinge of guilt. “Look, it anythingabout right? them, At that age, you remember would have—” can’t you said you And old. years three been up. “Twenty-five ninety. That was fourteenyears ago. You would have werethey buried.” where or names, didn’tyou their thoughtknow “I stone. the across itknew waslate. too didn’t want Angel making abig out deal of nothing. he and parents, his being Sirea and Joss of possibility the consider even to stupid was it knew He headstone. the wouldn’tnotice she you.” Zidaiku’stouchedShe breeze. “We’vearm. forover all looking been was her to temper. lose was herself styled Angel indicative of way her stress levels. The the tighter her hair, because the more likely she them of notice special took platinumZidaiku sunlight. the in shined shirt tee white Herand blondehair him. toward graves Angel the saw through and carefully turned stepping He voice. female familiar a said are,”you A scuff in the grass interrupted Zidaiku’s thoughts. “There Zidaiku’s thoughts. interrupted grass the in scuff A He only had one year left. After that, he wouldnever have to field, the of edge the at gate iron the reached they When face, his across forth and back darted eyes cerulean her As don’t“I a Angel,”intocare, faded smile interrupted.Her he death,”ofdate lighting the atface “But look her said,Angel He “I shrugged. don’t. still guys These be could anybody.” “Zidaiku, are these your...” She knelt and brushed her fingers he him, behind step into fall her didn’thear he when But “Sorry. I was just heading back.” He walked past her, hoping the in floated it of strands Fine down. was Today,hair her sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 47

by Dr. Joyce Murray Joyce Dr. by Memories in early life—5 to 8 years to early in life—5 Memories from my Aunt Ruth’s home. Ruth’s Aunt my from death. illness or of understanding no I had I knew, so cry. I knew to I had I knew, in her casket in hair Mom’s my I fixed very I was room. glad be to living home our alone whilealone they discussed death. her Dad said my they home, me took When heaven”. to gone has Mom “your I came back once and got to peek at her peek to at got and once back I came They thought the window. bedroom through died so she they me in left car know the I didn’t My Mom had bright blue eyes and red hair. red eyes and blue bright had Mom My Dad, Glen. my and roses was love Her sick got when she away sent I was sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 48 Dr. Honeychurch’s cow, listening to and her yet-to-be-born calf earlier that same week with his earhorn up against of belly the Simon MacNare, veterinarian, the local who had spent an afternoon chuckles among men the seated at all long the table. wouldn’t mind dressing.” agreeable Matthew Peace, “I don’t mind saying, that’s one I body throat and himstraightaway.” silenced of Blackwiche Isle, wrapped my fingers aboutthe young doctor’s lungs, Iwould have up risen out of that like Mad the bed Man that ifI had not drained of strength been all by water the inmy widow’sthe fare than at any official meeting. town more issues were over settled amug of and ale asteaming plate of disputes over crops and property boundaries. In Pipersmill Hollow, evening to samplefoggy and victuals the resolve anumber of small Goat, Widow Olsson’s house. ale had come They together on a gentlemen had who gathered together afortnight later at The Black would. throttle this young man and silence his incessant chatter, I’m afraid I his miraculous cures. on at regaling bedside, the town the elder with yet another of story heavy mattress with an enormous Dr. sigh, Honeychurch prattling Icannotboil prick.” anddiscerned, no fever that cannot I’ve cooled. be yet to the meet was fond of saying, “no ailment of bowels the that cannot be physician were unmatched. recent memory. But was tedious, his dialogue as while a his skills anyonevillager inPipersmill Hollow forced had been to endure in “Pardon my bluntness, but he’s just damned arrogant,” so said To there which was agrumbling of assent and afew low “Aye,” said old the mortician to his right, always the “I’m loathe to admit my weakness, sirs, but remains fact the Thatwhat was the mayor grouptold asmall village of Lord help me is no “There putrescencethat cannot cured,”be the doctor The Dread of Pipersmill Hollow Dr. Ignacious Q. Honeychurch was most the officious , thought Mayor Whitby as he lay back on his If Ipossessed the strength at this moment to (excerpt) by Greg Near sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 49 “I tell you, gentlemen, I barely knew how to respond. So I respond. to knew how I barely gentlemen, you, tell “I The Mayor nearly fell forward into his dinnerplate, the dinnerplate, his into forward fell nearly Mayor The The Mayor gasped and felt the heat of embarrassment rise embarrassment of heat the felt and gasped Mayor The my for too much are names their esoteric but did, “He The chuckling around the table increased. the table around chuckling The muttered. someone here,” “Here, glanced over a whisper to and voice his lowered MacNare beseaches of my dear wife to Our Lord could not be discounted in be discounted not could Our Lord to wife dear beseaches my of for life. It was, dare I say it, practically miraculous. Now if the practically Now miraculous. it, I say dare was, It life. for me give would he a thing such say me ever heard Pike Reverend the night-long how and prayer, of the power a full on lecture animal. But damned if the man isn’t a fine doctor in spite of his of his spite in doctor a fine isn’t if the man damned But animal. Joe little my cured he Last summer self-appreciation. for capacity easily left him crippled have could leg that his to infection an of didn’t, simply gathering up my tools and exiting as politely and and politely as exiting and tools my up gathering simply didn’t, of his my examination up finished having possible as quickly squirmed on their benches. The mortician rose and threw another another and rosethrew mortician The their benches. squirmed on of drypieces two like together rubbing hands his the fire, log onto parchment. mortician turned paler than usual, and the other members of of members the other and paler turned usual, mortician than blew their noses and wiped their brows, council the impromptu memory. He even went so far as to reveal that a particular that method reveal to as so far went even He memory. squeals of produce to assured verily entry behind was of from sex.” the fairer from delight breathy from his weighty jowels to the tops of his ears. Yet he leaned in to in to leaned he Yet ears. his of the tops to jowels weighty his from the volumes?” name he “Did asking more, hear to carry his many paramours to the very heights of purely sensual purely the very to of heights paramours carryto many his pleasure.” and how that together with the techniques of coupling he had had he coupling of the techniques with together that how and which the he subject, on perusing texts Oriental learned from failed never had he repeat, to I care detail than described in more his shoulder to make sure the Widow wasn’t within earshot. “Then, earshot. within wasn’t the Widow sure make to shoulder his attributes physical his of the prodigiousness about on went he sirs, city and spare us all the torture of your company!’” your of all us the torture spare and city Then, to my vexation, he told me yet again of his irresistable charms charms irresistable his of again yet me told he vexation, my to Then, which I wanted to Boston, ladies of young wealthy the more among of marry in them, settle the one you ‘Then didn’t why respond, to physically incapable of stopping the air through his vocal cords, as as vocal his cords, through the air stopping of incapable physically in twisted calves for treatments the preferred of me telling began he in the city. of heard had he new procedures of and womb the cow’s desperately trying to hear over the voice of the doctor. “He seemed “He the doctor. of the voice trying over hear to desperately sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 50 that damnable damnable that could justcure our town, Ifear little Joe would have gone under saw. the Ihate to troubled limb. If it old Washburne Doctor had been serving still keenthe workings of doctor’s the mind as he bent over my boy’s cure.the But dexterity Iwitnessedthe of his administrations and join you for amug of local?” the waistcoat of gold and vermillion under his black jacket. mayor the wood, finally spoke. After a round throat-clearingof and finger-drumming the on silence, eachwaiting for other the to up take subject the at hand. their Some ofpipes filled them and to smokeproceeded in property,” Kettlesworth added. long gone cold. room. It had grown late and uneaten the on food board the had cracked and hissed, its yellow light producing shadows deep inthe sickly maid.” to endure from Mrs. Kettlesworth about inconvenience the of a up were more than worth endless the complaints Iwould have had within acouple of days. The coinsfew it cost me to have her healed with a noxiousto her bed fever, and had her back up on her feet “It’s He true. took care of our housekeeper Addy, had who taken of and his ale with foam on still his lips said inhis gravelly voice, bottlefly in earsour - butthe manknows his business.” say it -for Ifeel as rest the of company the that he is like abuzzing Dread onmy “Now if he “Now if property” The mumblings of assent were subdued, theand mayor “’Evening, gentlemen,” he greeted “Do them. you mind ifI “It’s adark matter, that. And not first the time it has disturbed “Now ifhe could just cure that damnable Dread on my “Aye, aye,” mumbled all they inconsent. The nearby fire After asilent moment, John Kettlesworth alongtook draught the peace of village. this Iremember peace the sitting on Dr. Honeychurch, was who wearing abrocade

my father’s Iwas when asprout knee of three and gathering the was joined by asmiling of The the GoatBlack swung inward, or four, and having himwarn me that if I didn’t say my prayers before and bed don’t Islept that think awink night.” always mind my mother, Dread the my covers and into cold the frosty air. I would surely drag me out from under It heavy was the then front door sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 51 “Ahh,” the doctor expelled, puffing himself up a little and little up a himself the expelled, doctor puffing “Ahh,” Mayor Whitby let out a large sigh, leaned back into the sigh, into back leaned a large let out Whitby Mayor New full our or of doctor, think mad, us may “You “So far it has only been mine. But that will surely change change will surely that been But only mine. has it far “So the prompted. doctor “Well?” whether a sign of for the mayor then to looked Kettlesworth “Certainly,” Simon MacNare added, “but the wolves in these the wolves “but added, MacNare Simon “Certainly,” decimation? of this bovine is cause the tell, pray “Then what, Kettlesworth mopped his wet brow, as he sat closest to the to closest sat he as brow, wet his mopped Kettlesworth in wolves there “Are said. the doctor this,” of heard hadn’t “I “Gentlemen,” Dr. Honeychurch said, “it seems that I have I have seems“it that said, Honeychurch Dr. “Gentlemen,” then to face, face from the table around looked mortician The the table missed the fine needlework in the brocade fabric. “Now I “Now fabric. brocade in needlework missed the thethe fine table indigenous natives tracked their kill through yonder woods.” their kill tracked yonder through natives indigenous at man no sure make if to as coat, his of the back lapels pulling Englander superstitions, but the plague on our countryside is far countryside far is our on the plague but superstitions, Englander been has here It older. far And wolves. of pack any than worse the earliest since before Probably settlers. the first before since shadows causing his chair to creak under his weight and wrapped wrapped and weight his under creak to chair his causing shadows him. All to eyes turned belly. ample his around hands his to continue or not. or continue to Christmas.” The large man hesitated to go on revealing the nature revealingnature the on go to hesitated man large The Christmas.” their problem. of And is it only your cattle, Kettlesworth?” cattle, your only it is And by will mine as be gone going, they’re the rate at long afore they’re well enough fed on venison or something deters them from them from deters something or venison on fed enough well they’re the very closer than the woods.” of edges any drawing the surrounding hills?” the surrounding Either village. or farms our into down ventured never hills have house and myself may have to pack up and relocate back to the city, the city, to back relocate and up pack to have may myself and house that.” of the thought I hate as much as said, “Only the cattle on John Kettlesworth’s farm of late.” of farm Kettlesworth’s John on the cattle “Only said, the of the lady more if I lose even one I fear “Aye. said, hearth, and stumbled into the middle of a depressed meeting. Has there been there a meeting.Has depressed a the middle of into stumbled Peace?” Mr. in the village, death dialogue that continued until after the widow in her lacy in widow the bonnet after until continued dialogue that him. of in front ale down of a pint sat had the doctor slid himself down like a dancer. A drawn out, out, drawn A a dancer. like down himself slid the doctor which the only during silence followed, uncomfortable almost cracking spitting, a logs, and the between was the fire conversation managed to motion toward an empty space at the table where where the table at space empty an toward motion to managed sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 52 the livestockthe up Montpelier inthe region.” understand. Irecently heard that of asimilar disease was striking the mayorthe to go on. serious and his eyesreflecting adistantvery light. forHe nodded again.” a cloud of and blood flesh, or hide and feathers. seen be Never to in some more instances, vile young children disappear -who in and of seen experienced, animals both evidence -andhas been moved west. on Throughout further the history of village,thereour farm -chickens, pigs and two horses.Schooleys have The since after completely exterminating all the of Schooley animals the on its ravenous appetite. It only moved on to John Kettlesworth cattle return, but is time different. this It is stronger, and morebold in has always able been to wait it out, hoping for its hibernation to livesthe and livelihoodof Pipersmill Hollow. The community for years, and once then again awakens and to off begins feed of entity, ifyou will. “It is amalicious presence country. inthe An enormous vapor or “And? So?” veterinarian his thanks to mayor’s nodded the kindwords. our inestimable Mr. MacNare might treat inacow or apig.” The understand.” with hishe wife used or his young children, “you have to failed were shaking heads or their moving restlessly seats. intheir firelight. that cannot cured.” be His had broadened smile and glowed inthe doctor’s. ground, roundabout where livestock the were feeding.” mixture that out takes where it hiddendisease the liesinthe For once, doctor the had no reply, his features having gone Untouchable and apparently unstoppable, that slumbers The doctor’s had faded, smile andas ifsay, he to shrugged “We refer instead aDread.” to something called “No, we are not referring to acommon such disease, as “But--” “Doctor,” mayor the said, using same the tone of voice There were deep murmurs amongthe men, many whomof “Yes, you gentlement, see, there really is no putrescence The mayorbegan to wave awaythis explanation the of “And not without acure as well. It is merely asulphite “Similar MacNare to Dread?” the asked. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 53 “The Dread is sometimes heard, like a an enormous bale an enormous a like heard, “The is sometimes Dread we have no weapons against. I fear it may be the undoing of us all, us of be the undoing may it I fear against. weapons no have we devoured.” thisvillage fine will that be ultimately and very bones, and that stays with you for days afterward. Many of us of Many afterward. days for you with stays very that and bones, any get again once to inability the attendant and that, felt have here that one evil, but unnatural an is It frames. our into back warmth of hay being pushed through the undergrowth of the woods, or a the woods, or of the undergrowth through being pushed hay of more But shudder. the very makes ground that rumbling ghastly your to feel can you chill that nauseating a felt: is it not than often sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 54 who’s e’er actions ifthey belie had aheart? return to cast then who them your apart, but man lost cunning was when gleaned his smile no emotionso resounds inmachines manto letmen or kill embrace one this lie what choice doyou have to live or to die scheming with shadows notions their to all fuel but humans are wrought emotions with vile it’s god’s created which science land this is pure,science on we science stand nor claim land bloody from your for heart your foes machines donot scar, disappoint or dispose unhallowedbled with& soil soot boots what of your temple the heart men tred warmth for its master it what does it’s told fires are forged by when it its cold forgotten &rotting inman’sbed final your hand hold it long will pastyour when dead t’will forever function it never cues needs a wonder of clockwork, invention and screws if men were pure so they’d not fear it’s coup there’s nothing, no nothing, construct this can’t do Cold Embers Never Embers Die Cold by A. Nikki Inkcraft sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 55 by Ray Wright by My WWII Report WWII My I really would like to go there one day and see the and museum day one there go to like would I really I learned so glad and because I did this the class report I’m I had a lot of fun preparing this report. I used pictures and and I used this report. pictures fun preparing of a lot I had When I wrote my report on WWII, I did a lot of research. I research. of I did a lot WWII, on report my I wrote When on located is Harbor Pearl Harbor. Pearl on report I did my much from it. It was great fun to present my report. my fun present to great was It it. from much that has been built. There is a memorial on the U.S.S. Arizona that that Arizona U.S.S. on the memorial is a There been has built. that the ship. of see to the walk remains across you maps for it. I used overheads. I used some maps from that time that from I used maps some I used overheads. it. for maps I When at the time. were ships our period.where Theyshowed long. six it was pages finished, base when we were attacked. President Roosevelt declared this to be this to Roosevelt declared President attacked. base were when we in infamy.” will live that day “A the Hawaiian Islands. The Japanese attacked our naval base there on base naval our there attacked Japanese The Islands. the Hawaiian naval on the dropped bombs many were December 7,1941. There used many books and the Internet for information. I also watched I also watched information. for the Internet books and used many channel. the History and the military channel sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 56 to try another car alongto farther try train. in the wearing rust-brown uniforms and garrison caps. She would have compartment.seatsoccupied all Thecar full, soldiers was by its advantages. helped delay train. the She had to admit: late-stage pregnancy had that ticket the agent for had bent rules the her, and probably also to work next the day and couldn’t really afford to make suchtrip. a way to her destination on west the coast, but Hazel had to get back Studebaker. She that knew Hazel would have to herthe taken all Little from Rock North Carolina Hazel with her friend inHazel’s lastthe minute train ascheduled was cancelled and she rode to problems caused her to change her travel plans At times. several can helpthey you.” He left. a few civilians on board. I’m gonna get one of Sergeants, the maybe train’s pretty You full. know is this really atroop train. There’s only down onto it.porter The brought bag.up her railcarbagthe he left the on platform and helped her the up stairs. aside of and her he belly. saw curve the When reached they the got it closer took on form and solidity. jumped Aporter down. as rain the pelted her.train The wasthe indistinct rain in but as she made slow progress along wet the concrete, hunching into her coat by midnight windrain blew right across platform. the butRock, that night it was of little use. Astorm was setting inand In abit she rose and door opened the to passenger the She was lucky to get aticket for train. this She suspected Thelast days few hectic. been had transportation Wartime “You might have ahard findin’ time seat, a ma’amthe … In vestibule the she paused and abench she seeing sank She to give was glad Thewind bag. himthe her coatblew “We waitin’ been on you. Here letme get that.” She was already tired from traveling. Lugging her she bag, There was a roof fortrainthe platform the at stationLittle in August, 1944: Little Arkansas Rock, Storm Children by David Goodale sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 57 She chatted with the soldiers in the seats across the aisle, the aisle, across in the seats the soldiers with chatted She She nodded. He went on: “Now see if you can get some rest. rest. some get can see if you “Now on: went nodded. He She the to next a pillow a while, head on her for dozed She “How far are you going?” you are far “How area.” - Seattle State “Washington little tough must be a You a trip. quite whistled. “That’s He enough.” tough I’m hope smiled. “I She Simmons. Sergeant will soon. I’m be here water “Your “Is there any hot water?” hot any there “Is behind in the small the men crowd of one to murmured He due?” asked. he baby your is “When weeks.” of be in a couple should “It Gratefully she sat, working her way over to the window side. side. the window to over way her working sat, she Gratefully There’s anything? want you “Do said. he a pillow,” for sent “I Another soldier approached; he had a few extra lines on extra few on a had lines he soldier approached; Another have can “You her, to said he down,” sit honey, on “Come As she started up the aisle the train lurched into motion, motion, into lurched the train the aisle started up she As learning that they were on their way to San Francisco, where they where Francisco, San to their way on they were that learning made writhing abstract patterns in the water that pulsed across the pulsed across that in the water patterns abstract writhing made window. window. After a bit she woke. The storm was going strong and strong going was storm The woke. she bit a After window. in the distance Lightning the railcar. along sluiced rain of sheets You men, go on back to your seats. Give the lady some privacy!” some the lady Give seats. your to back on go men, You Anything you want you just let me know. If I’m not nearby just tell tell just nearby not I’m If know. let me just you want you Anything me that?” promise Willyou they’lland the men me. of find one lady.” him and the man left on on double. the left the man him and coffee and I think we can get some milk.” get some I we and can think coffee She thought of saying that she didn’t need both seats and a soldier need and both seats didn’t she that saying of thought She too just was little a sprawl to the chance but her, to next sit could tempting. both seats.” his face and some extra stripes on his uniform, as well as an air air an as well as uniform, his extra stripes some on face and his sitting who were soldiers of a couple to gestured He authority. of empty. seats adjoining of a pair leaving they rose, and nearby car rocked a little as the train rolled over a switch, and a soldier and a switch, over rolled the train as a little rocked car her. armto his offer side to her to moved making her grab for the overhead rail. Men began twisting around around twisting began Men rail. the overhead for grab her making turning of wave them in a slow of more and more her, look at to The up. Several jumped men the car. through up spread that heads sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 58 Oklahoma. flat terrain. The porter came by and toldthat her they were in would board aboat for Philippine the Islands. what it’s like now at work. all is overeverything. The military I’m worried about so …you know …” and threaten me with prison.” to Colonel talking Ambruster; guygood the would just yell at me him. He said travel no extra would permitted. be He said it was no Turner …Turner is of head entire the begged Ipractically section. help house the her and sell move possessions. their shewhen could. He wouldn’t able be to return to North Carolina to Hanford he would have to stay there. She would have to join him next morning for Hanford, inWashington State. Once he was in came home from work and told her that he had to leave early the her about his work, but as happened inmany he had. cases, doing research connected with bomb. the He should not have told U.S. had launched ahuge effort to build its own version. existed before. It atom the was called bomb. that Sheknew the also of type weapon,new abomb far more than powerful any that had leaders were afraid that Germans the were building acompletely probably only the person on that train knew the who U.S. the out to have important effects the war.on There uncertain. still weresecrets, too. thingsHidden might turn defeat because good was unthinkable. However situation the was she usually avoided doing. soldiersthe on train,about the made her think war, the something enjoyed watching thunderstorms but right now lightning, the and watching, alittle bit fascinated. When she was young she had enoughclose uncomfortable. to be She moved uneasily but kept “I know, Iknow.” His tone was tortured. “You can’t believe “But you. …I need There’llso be much to do, besides … and “I Win. tried, to Hendon, Ralph Italked and to Italked “Why, Why Ed? can’t you come back and help me?” She remembered conversation. the Afew weeks ago he her things because husband,She these knew an engineer, was She happened to know about one such secret.She was According war tothe news the was going well, was which As moved they through storm the lightning closer, struck trainThe had stretched out into alongrun across fast sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 59 nightmare.” … it’s like a like … it’s “It’s horrible horrible “It’s “The main thing is to get you to Washington as as soon Washington to you get to “Theis thing main the by surrounded safe felt She nice in the train. was It “I’ve been thinking about that. Let’s not put the home up for for up the home put not Let’s that. been thinking about “I’ve “Wini, Turner told me that the top brass is afraid that the that afraid is brass the top that me told Turner “Wini, “I’ve breath. took a deep she Finally silence. a long was There “It’s horrible … it’s like a nightmare.” like … it’s horrible “It’s to be able won’t we that been hoping I’ve is. sure it “Yeah She agreed and he told her about the atom bomb and the and bomb the atom about her told he and agreed She It crazy. sounds “It finished. when he said she Ed,” god, “My so.” afraid “I’m “Okay Wini, I wasn’t going to to going I wasn’t Wini, “Okay “But why? Why are they so are Why why? “But possible. The hospital in Hanford is supposed to be top-notch. Just Just to top-notch. supposed be is Hanford in hospital The possible. you.” of take care can we Where Win. there, get for reimbursement for expenses connected with the move and to to and expenses the move with connected for reimbursement for it. like them if they with heck don’t sale until after you’ve gone – I don’t want you worrying about it. worrying about you want – I don’t gone you’ve sale after until we’ll essential isn’t everything. stuff move If to have don’t we And I’ll in put Washington. in new stuff get can behind;we it leave just got a lot to do.” to a lot got Germans are ahead of us on this thing. Maybe several months several this months thing. Maybe on us ahead of are Germans first? if they it get happen could what imagine ahead. Can you delays.” any be can’t just There nuts. is everyone so why That’s thousands more people, maybe even more than would die in the would than even more maybe people, more thousands … explosion build it, but it looks like we can. Just one of those things damn of one Just can. we looks like it but it, build not And that’s there. even it wasn’t like Cleveland out flatten would killwould it it … of lots would be radiation, part. There the worst project to build one. one. build to project real?” for it Is science fiction. your of some like sounds never tell anyone, not Hazel, not even your your even not Hazel, not anyone, tell never All right?” one. no … absolutely mother tell you, you know I’m not supposed supposed not I’m know you you, tell I But will. but this stuff, talkto about secret, a complete it keep to got you’ve crazy?” with this job I’llwith deal never the with the especially again, not government Armed Forces.” Everyone is being watched. Once I’m done done I’m Once being watched. is Everyone sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 60 would over be She soon. bomb hoped the would used. never be that would make they it all home inone piece. She war hoped the hoped that wouldn’t they go into battle Philippines inthe and soldiers, swaying seats intheir dimlight inthe of railcar. the She by spending, wartime roared into growth. peacetime There was Great Depression was just as economy, the amemory boosted disastrous for many countries, for it good The had America. been had to taken Washington. Things were alotbetter now. LATER.” There was a picture of a mushroom cloud. table. The newspaper headline read: “HIROSHIMA: ONE YEAR boyson. The waswide-eyed the excitementat the of move. contactminimal with government. the nuclear plant inHanford for ajobinSchenectady, one that involved report to work. He through had carried on his threat and quit the visit relatives, didn’t though they have much spare time.had to Ed would drive through states, northern the pausing inCleveland to acquisition, aproud Ford new Standard 6-cylinder They Sedan. waytheir to New York. wellthem but it was to time move again. Her little family was on and sunlight. stormthe and lightning the was gone. Dawn brought clearing skies pillow.the By she time the woke train the away had pulled from and evenas it flashed in her face she fell asleep again, leaning on inafew days. dead be Sheboth felt like war. inthe asoldier threatened her own life. She and baby the she now might carried there else was …her baby.everything “That’sEd.all, There’s bag just thefood theand overnight bag.” The war was over, for thing.one thoughAnd it was As went they out to car the she remembered train the trip she “Leave it,” she said. “What about he said, paper?” glancing the toward kitchen the He came innow,their flushed young carrying and cheerful, was outsideEd now, stowing luggage their into recent their She took alast around look apartment. the It had served August, 1946: Hanford, Washington train The westward. sped The lightning danced andplayed She had already lost one childthat ina miscarriage She now. uncertain Life sighed. was so Along with sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 61 (This narrative is non-fiction and autobiographical) and non-fiction is narrative (This So the United States had exclusive control of its new super- its of control exclusive had States So the United As it turned out there had been thehad need build real there no to out turned it As Also, she and her son were alive. She was still was thankful She for alive. were son her and she Also, get did bomb atom the was that regretted she one thing The a was it in with the bomb world The the bomb. hated She weapon, at least for now. “I hope we don’t regret it,” she murmured, murmured, she it,” regret don’t we hope “I now. for least at weapon, mind. her of out it put and bomb; the Germans never made much progress in their own in their own progress much made never the Germans bomb; efforts. now and lights were harsher and politicians were more senseless. senseless. more were politicians and harsher were lights and now button. of a push withthe annihilate to power Officials hadthe used. She didn’t like being reminded of it. of being reminded like didn’t used. She darker were Shadows unreal. more cruder, harder, place, different that. energy and optimism everywhere. optimism energyand sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 62 Before him,Ihonestly there to my believed was no purpose Life. That have left me battling through endless pain andstrife. God smiled at smiled me,God and miraculously my son was born. I have and used abused, been battered and torn. I have through many events, so been trying Yet moments from Death, Precious Life by Tali Morgan sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 63 by Denise Bellby Little Girls And when my troubles seem to be the biggest in the seem world, be to the biggest troubles when my And girls. in little found that’s happiness think to of I stop And with those tiny fingers, she sees that I don’t lack I don’t she sees that fingers, those with And tiny as I. such to cause can tickling feeling happy The guy. I couldn’t this joy her, from get I can pleasure What And tickle her and eat her neck until she pleads for air. for pleads she until neck her eat tickle and And her care, doesn’t she as if chest her puffs and lips her pouts She my back to and tiptoes me behind around sneaksThen Then comes back uninhibited, her arms raised to the air. to raised the arms her uninhibited, back comes Then bored. I’m I pretend and me taunts “Tickle she me!” to floor her the get I me, past nearly she’s Then when So on my knees I drop to play the game that wins her heart. her wins that the game play to knees I drop So my on part. her play tickle so can her she and down her I chase there, sees sitting run me starts to but and away squirms She I grab those chubby cheeks of hers and squeeze to half an inch. squeeze half an to and hers of cheeks thoseI grab chubby mouth, puckered little that kissing just resist I can’t out. to scamper chance a has she fast her before hug Then And settles back to eat them, when she’s sure there’s none she’s she’s none there’s sure them, when she’s eat settles to back And missed. them each a pinch, give to me so tempt cheeks cherub Her My little one is hiding but peeks around for me. for peeks around but hiding is one little My knee. my upon lands she usual, as Mischievous closed fists, in pockets and hidden treasures looksfor She sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 64 back tomorrow. You home run happy so and tell your mom about your day. snacks, homework help, music, art, and give they you home! aride school until 4:30,but you leavehave They mood. soccer, inagood school program, and evenoffer they you asnack! You stay after telling you about after the school program.So you go the to after u tell yourfurious!be parents They’ll time? this asign Yousee seriously they haveDo to dothis tells class the they’re going to have more orientation tours—yeesh. You ring and hear bell the hope your classes are better. Your teacher humiliated you infront of you because kids the half bus. the missed and your all classrooms. What’s worse than Your this? mom already show you around. an 8 So The says 7 principal that every First Day School at Clayton Middle She was right, asfun. usual.schoolso This is You want to go You asleep and fall later miss bus the again. Now what should You get out of car the and into walk schoolauditorium. the by Joseph Gilmore th grader shows grader you library, the gym the th grader needs to needs have grader an 8 EVERY year? th grader grader sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 65

!” think by Peggy Kadir Peggy by classes were disciplined. They were also were fun. They disciplined. were classes Her Miss Paul Remembered Paul Miss No one answered. Her face showed her chagrin, and she she and chagrin, her face showed Her answered. one No Sometimes we disappointed her. One day she brought an an brought she day One her. disappointed we Sometimes Orion the might hunter was always my favorite, which the favorite, my always was hunter the might Orion She didn’t stop with the earth and the miracle of renewed life life renewed of the earth the with miracle and stop didn’t She Once a year she walked her home-room class to her house house her to class walked home-room her she a year Once To a seven-year-old she appeared tall and gaunt as she stood she as tall gaunt and appeared she a seven-year-old To Saddened, Miss Paul said, “UP is always away from the earth.” Then Then the earth.” from away always is “UP said, Paul Miss Saddened, to have you “Remember, said, she voice. voice. either. answer couldn’t He in class. student called the smartest upon of the orange and said, “If you lived here UP would be toward the be toward UP would here lived you “If said, and the orange of be would “UP continued, she here,” lived if you “And window.” in a commanding UP?” is asked where she “Now the door.” toward orange to class. Explaining that the orange represented the earth, represented the orange that Explaining class. to orange here lived you “If said, and the orange of the top to pointed she tobottom the pointed she Then the floor.” be toward UP would three starts in his belt and the bright star Sirius in the nose of his his in the nose of Sirius star the bright and belt startsthree in his exhilarating. but painless, only not learning made Paul dog. Miss ten cents. Then she explained how the planets revolved around the around revolved planets the how explained she Then cents. ten called constellations. were stars of the groups how and sun were deep in the Depression she insisted that every student buy a buy every that student insisted she deep in the Depression were (a walking Kress’s tin still to I can remember thebook heavens. of for book blue thin dark that buying and store) local five-and-dime nature. nature. we Although the stars. also to us she took however, garden, in her Then she spoke to us about the flowers as if we were adults, adults, were we as if flowers the about us to spoke she Then I said she what of So much the plants. of the mysteries explaining of the wonder me in stirred enthusiasm her but understand, didn’t to see the spring flowers in bloom. What an adventure! We walked an adventure! What bloom. in flowers seeto the spring exciting. several which crossed I found streets, and blocks many but I was too young to know that. What I did know was that she she that was I did know What that. know to too I was young but expected she a teacher As intimidating. was stood very and straight it. got respect and in the front of her classroom. She dressed like my grandmother. It It grandmother. my like dressed She classroom. her of in the front way, that everyone dressed and the Depression the middlewas of sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 66 However, one the most who influenced my life was Miss Paul, of schooling Ihave had numerous teachers were who excellent. and schooldistrict nevernew saw her again. my During many years THINK!!! signs that say, “LEARNING ISFUN!LEARNING ISEXCITING! picture she glows with enthusiasm, surrounded by pulsating tintype. But my picture heart of her is clear and shining. In this I formed as aseven-year-old, rather vague and fuzzy, like afaded think. shebecause not only taught but me to think she made me Today mental the picture Ihave of Miss Paul is that which Miss Paul was my teacher for afew months only. Imoved to a want to sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 67

. I NASCAR book. I Hardwood Pens Hardwood and and Old Testament Story Testament Old Outback Pottery Outback by Paul L. Rosser Paul by . She wrote about me in an article in the in an me about wrote . She Paul’s Reading Adventures Reading Paul’s I am a lot different now. I go to the library to get to to to books library go the I now. different a lot I am I wrote stories. I read my story about an accident on State State on accident an story about my I read stories. I wrote the Literacy to so go I could maps bus reading on I worked I read signs on field trips at the Arts Festival, Anne Frank Frank Anne Festival, Artsat the field trips on signs I read In 2010, I did lots of reading to help me practice words. I read read I words. practice me help to reading of lots did I 2010, In works Free Cathy in July. Free Cathy interviewedI was by I was sick and tired of not reading the newspaper, the newspaper, reading not of tired and sick I was Deseret Morning News Morning Deseret to do what I couldn’t do before. I couldn’t do what to I ask my friend to help me read people’s names on the sports page the sports page on names people’s read me friend help to my I ask get to myself by the store to I go Now DVD’s. on the words and happy me makes It bread. and milk, eggs, steak, hamburger, cheese, to find the place myself. The dinner wasespecially fun, The dinner myself. meeting place find the to reading. my talking about and people read. I can’t the words about work boss at my I ask home. at read Writing Center. Writing I time first was triedthe That Dinner. Recognition Center’s Action Street to people at the Arts Festival. I read another story at the story at another I read the Arts Festival. at people to Street the at stories my of two I read Open Center House. Literacy Action Exhibit, Green Fair, and the Living Traditions Festival. I walked Festival. Traditions the Living and Fair, Green Exhibit, like signs read to around out. filledit and form the census read newspaper. I am learning the words she wrote. By Christmas, I By wrote. she the words learning I am newspaper. to 2011, I want of the end By wrote. she what 40% of read could article. her allread of the books. Now I can read these books over and over again. over and these read books I can over the books. Now at and NASCAR. I read 132 books. Some were about airplanes; others others airplanes; about 132 books.I read were Some NASCAR. and an read books. I even Clifford were read help to used I kids. to bookflashcards some Clifford one read Literacy Action Center. Years later, I started to do math, too. too. math, do I started to later, Years Center. Literacy Action Utah, of School, University High West articles about newspaper books, and menus for years. It made me mad to not read what what read not to mad me made It years. for menus books, and into me got friend, Karen, My the Bible. most, read to I wanted the at spelling and writing, 2004, I started reading, In reading. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 68 changed to open mic. I listened to a few stories and saw my opening. shaky,knees my clammy, and my voice achey-breaky. became instantly palms my and inside went We me. support to there were daughterinfant our and wife My calm. quite Not apretty picture! crowd.a to reading myself visualize to tried I provided),graciously was Iwouldknew reading be into amicrophone. Oh, Lord! from6:30 to 8:30 scheduled P.M.was ItI City. had no idea Lake how many Salt people would in be there, all I Library Main the to next and had we our all little gems polished. we were supposed ready to be for big the day! Center.boy,Action Oh, Literacy the at them reading practiced also I’m sure I’m not alone. while reading aloud in front of the class. I hated the laughs in school. I’dafraid wasmyself.on I focus the liked never I stutter stammeror story on October 21 betrayal.personal Ihad just shot myself foot! inthe of sense strong very a felt I myself, volunteered inadvertently had story). particular each ofauthor the (bycrowd a offront in place, public in a loud, out read, be would stories their that informed was I class the of end the At feedback. for group the to it presented and yard ablebe to that construct astory made sense. attempted any type of writing before, so I signed up. I hoped I would sounded like something I would enjoy being involved in. I had never WritingCenter.CommunityIt the by sponsored groups the of one date Ihad feared since mid-August. We were supposed to sign up for time slots but now it had it now but slots time for up sign to supposed were We infantdaughter,mywife,somehowWhenfelt I arrived, I and On tothe ride the Community Writing Center (which Deb so The reading took place atthe Community WritingCenter right come, had day big The Well,sweatless!!wasn’t! scared I was I stories. their We edited and revised group our in writers The I agonized for several weeks knowing I would have to read my I and publicly read to expected was I that knowing Not I had written a short about story activities in summertime my I joined the writing group at Literacy Action Center in August, 21 October st sent a shockwave of fear through me. It was the the was It me. through fear of shockwave a sent st Reading Is Pain . Reading in front of a group always terrified me. by Scott Aldrich sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 69 My wife said, “You did just fine.” fine.” just did “You said, wife My was on put It myself. so I great relief felt from I’d the pressure and fun of evening an satisfying, beextremely to out turned It It It really so wasn’t bad after all. Ihad psychedmyself out for I started reading, becoming calmer, and more comfortable as I as comfortable more and calmer, becoming reading, started I

humor. humor. All the stories were interesting and had their own unique flavor. unnecessary. I unnecessary. also felt a sense of pride for a overcoming fear I had carried grade since school. seat. seat. nothing. nothing. I was having fun reading my expressing story, myself in a way I had never done I before. finishedreading andreturned tomy raging! laughed one No wrong. were ideas preconceived my All ahead. went I still clear. stood, speaking fairly dry. were pants My me. at closed. Too late, too slow. Someone else beat me to the microphone. else beat Someone me to the microphone. too slow. late, closed. Too I waited for one or two more readers to finishand walked up front. Talk about high blood pressure (thank God for meds), mine was I had found the courage to stand up front and read. Slam! Door sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 70 more more ideas feelings. Iwrite as not so babies to letthose die, telepathy to reader the impregnate in whom they and incubate up, cared for, nurtured and presented, for exist life their as will large grewtoo they kept. to be tears fast Icouldenough- not tears cry unshed and incubated until and and poems feelings and dreams and- of all it- would express in goneballoon errant offthe faucet I would unwritten gush.All ideas would ultimately blow me apart from inside the out. awater Like would push, not because to would mean expansion the of tears that gestational calendar- Iwould double over with cramps and pain. I wouldn’t well. walk And at some mass-not critical according to any offedgethe into it. Whatever takes it but whatit is Iwant. it douse me init roll me init toss me init HURLme init push me saints. a writing life. To up them to heavens the carry to angels the and shoulder and is here to help. To away carry my invocations for about heartbeat to be it.every Iwant grace. the want it to consume me from inside the out. breath, Iwant every to burn in. a song. It feels like Grace. her eyesshut and song isWhen born. Icatch words the it feels like shiver and up rises through her throat. beak opens, when Then her moment something when beyond herselfherfeathers ruffles ina legs frozen ingrip to branch. the She waits to sing, waits for the about to break, as arumble up tree the though her tiny stick sways. No tucking use her bill under her wing, she feels dawn the These These wordbabies are miracles, ugly miraclesbe cleaned to If Ididn’t write my would belly swell. My back would ache, I It. Is. I.Want. All. Sink me into that me grace. Lift up thatto grace. Wrap me in Thewind blows as if been it thishas reading over my I. Want. That. Grace. Writing pushes me into grace, Iwant to from explode it. I Writing pulls me into Iwant grace, grace to drown in,Iwant The bird sitstree,the in beforeawakened dawn. Her branch Why IWrite by Meg Burke sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 71 That. Is. Why. I. Write. I. Why. Is. That. It. Is. Why. I. Am. Here. I. Am. Why. Is. It. do What write. to like doesn’t he me told mine A friend of inspired, words that are not mine. They come back at me through me at through back They come mine. not are that words inspired, that. I love and door that words from ME, the “MY WORDS” hold open the door, it’s my my it’s the open door, hold WORDS” ME, the “MY from words BACK I GET What Better. that More, that into call out my it’s give, moments words, divine are BACK I GET What the Grace. is something bigger, something better. If I don’t write I feel that door door that I feel write I don’t If better. something bigger, something brittle, dust, gather the words as shut begin slip to begin shut, to The lifeless. joyless- am I shuts-then door if that and decay- and What’s the payoff, he asked. It makes me a better listener. Allows Allows listener. me a makes better It asked. he the payoff, What’s word Like each easily. more often, more Grace, that hear to me more, something to open the gateway holding acts stop- a door as you mean you don’t like to write? You must not be doing it right. right. it be doing not must You write? to like don’t you mean you not to still born, not to abort. to still to born, not not sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 72 snake basking spring- stretched, black, tight- over long the in one motion follow my foot knob, Ican only nowthe locked that, one hand on and air inthe like stone step foot offthe high with my right I step into space one hand, my left, door shut with pulling cabin the Stepping Over by Katherine January sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 73 by Julie Liljenquist Julie by Monster Story, Part 1 Part Story, Monster Bob and all the other children ran around and played played and around ran Bob all children the other and One day last week, Bob went to the playground to play with with play to the playground to Bob week, last went day One He likes playing ball with humans but he makes himself himself makes he but ball humans with playing likes He He is special as a monster and a human because he doesn’t doesn’t because he a human and special is a monster as He Bob is an unusual monster because he can make the bottom the bottom make can because he monster Bob unusual an is I have an invisible monster. While he can’t be seen, can he can’t he While monster. invisible an I have indicator monster me a agency gave adoption monster The arm back on. They crawled around on their hands and and knees, hands on their around They crawled on. back arm nurses calledout me The the place. fall all themaking nurses over took him to the hospital at the monster adoption agency. agency. adoption the monster at the hospital him to took sew the to doctor his while for Bob the nurses with waiting was his monster arm. The arm has no bones, so it fell off. The children children The off. fell it no so armhas bones, The arm. monster his all to back ran We happened. what me told and house our to ran I the ground. on laying arm monster his I saw and the playground, Bob eat. can on fell children and the bars, monkey the off fell He the children. children like to play hide and seek with Bob because they can’t see seek Bob with hide and because they can’t play to like children the monster I push until visible himself make does not him. He so home go time to when it’s the children tell to I have indicator. invisible so all the children see is the ball moving around in a circle. in a circle. so see around all the ball the is children moving invisible The bouncing. stops it it because caught he’s when They know really speak human, although he can hear in human. He speaks He in human. hear can he although speakreally human, like Monsters old? years five speak at does a monster How monster. “Boo.” says, and so growls he people, scare to this when he laughs or plays with children. He returns to being all to returns He children. with plays or this laughs when he actions. my dislikes or sees when he a stranger invisible engine” light. It tells me when the monster indicator is broken. broken. is indicator when the me monster tells It light. engine” does He monster. half stays while the top body his human, half of red, and yellow buttons. The purple button makes Bob appear for a for appear makes Bob button purple The buttons. yellow and red, used only is when asleep, is Bob button red The a time. at half hour “check a car’s is like button yellow The so see I can breath. his agency. He is five years old. years five is He agency. purple, with is a green box indicator him. The of track so keep I can be heard and smelled. My invisible monster is half human and and half human is monster invisible My smelled. and be heard adoption a monster from came He Bob. is name His half monster. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 74 children. They,the children, could to hospital the and spanked their mothers of children. the came They of the his room. all I,inturn, called sure that never happened again. him.We tostarted tickle on time had way agood the home. Imade on, Bob. We are going to leave store.” the Ipicked So himup and difficult for me makingand me him chase around. SoI said,“Come of candy.” the He didn’t me. me He obey by to defy making it tried candythe store. Ihad to jump inmy car to get him.Isaid, “Stay out pushed purple the button, Ifound out he was three blocks away, at far before indicator the working. started When Igot it working and Of course, Ican’t Bob, he took see so offwithout me and got pretty outside sun, inthe hoping indicator the out would and dry work. he doesn’t human. speak and Itookmonster the Bob indicator going visible. to make Bob Iasked himto help me, but Iforgot indicator inmy soup. It didnot work. Iwas wondering how Iwas arm back on his body. Bob’s doctorthe had to dowas sew human. did They notknow that all monster.thought They he was only did not know that was a Bob was completely The healed. moms not play until his witharm Bob One day Idropped monster the bones, soit arm hasno fell off.” “The sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 75 by Ramona Maassen Ramona by Marbles: A ChakraMarbles: Series Day after day, through the summer she went through the through went she summer the through day, after Day Solar Plexus Chakra Plexus Solar world Mani’s died mother that her after in the spring, was It Jack recalled the look on the face of the technician who the technician recalled the face of the look on Jack Hurriedly he pulled down the window roller as he slipped slipped he as roller the window pulled he down Hurriedly Base Chakra new his marble. self his getting bankrupted nearly had He his supper set for one and she would be planted in front of the of in front be planted would she and one set for supper his tried he When program. vapid some at blankly staring television, began the new part of her life. life. began the her new part of found he home, Pura, came husband, her When life. her of routines and buried in her darkest thoughts. Her children hovered over her, her, over hovered children Her thoughts. darkest buried in her and They away. they went eventually and say do or to what knowing not so and feeling this without accepted call. to She visit, to promised simply fell apart. The tears that would not come at the viewing, at at viewing,the come not would that tears The apart. fell simply gut in her swallowed in the throat, dammed the funeral remained Jack looked briefly around his shop and then after peeking through after through peeking and then shop his around briefly looked Jack behind him. closed it Opened and it the door. at the shades made, he figured it couldn’t hurt. There was a knock at his door, but his at door, was aknock hurt.There it couldn’t figured he made, Wainright as rattle slight a was There was. he where remained he the shop. from away moving then steps and handle the door tested performed that bit of surgery. The way the guy looked at him made at him looked guy the way The surgery. of bit performed that now. it everyone doing was the hell, what Well, sleazy. him feel the bar at the guys of some the comments to listening from And he had his base chakra modified so that he could start slipping startslipping base his had he could he chakra modified so that marbles. chakra before and his hands were trembling with excitement. It It excitement. with trembling were hands his and chakra before sick was he but anything; or a date for up hard was he like wasn’t before weeks Two brought. relationships all theof complications his closed sign in place. While he waited for Mr. Wainright to pass pass to Wainright Mr. for waited he closed While his sign in place. used never base had his He new his acquisition. examined he by, a little. Jack couldn’t wait to get home to plug in. He closed the sign in. He plug to home get to wait couldn’t Jack a little. best his customer saw he even though early, 5 minutes shop his on headed way. his The guy that sold it to him promised him a good time and laughed good him a laughed and time promised to him it sold that guy The sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 76 everything to somehoweverything engage her, he finallyleft. difference. andFall winter passed. trying Frustrated after and angry on television, the she continued to stare. Nothing meant any to her,talking she would answer. When he changed channels the bath aman comes up from her. behind His reflection is justbarely She heads to bathroom. the While she water is the running for her She stops at colors teal the agown and selects make of spun silk. Pushingcloset. abutton on aremote causes racks the to move. are no more tears from she and rises her to in goes bed her walk streamed and stained her shantung duvet. silk there Finallywhen Didn’t she plan and hope and make her this life? Her welling tears andto her throws bed herself across it. Didn’t she want this? performance, nothing big. Karla?” Sudyabookings. would love it ifyou could just inalittle squeeze but you can rest injust about alittle we to need talk while; your to get Karla to respond. “Karla, Karla Iknow you are tired dear is now answering correspondences on her voice mail and trying present smell of flowers her adoring fans smothered with.her Jamie organizing of flowers did God, Karla invases. hatedeverthe posture against sags double closed the doors. doorsthe to her bedroom and quickly shuts her. behind them Her from her neck. It inaspiral falls of color to floor. the She opens straight walking and pass everyone her; seeing slipping offscarf her assistantpersonal and clump the of admirers lining up inhope of world.the mother’s. of her mother’s and later that night replaced her own with her one.special When she found it Mani fingeredthe yellow marble It matters not. She went to her box of marbles looking for one color the been yellow that Mani was her mother’s recalled favorite. grandmother leave, but you, your was heart pierced deepest.” the yellow flowers you and your mother planted? see to cried all We right, your mother would you weep to see so. Canyou not the see Ana, Mani’s youngest child came home. “Mother, is this not Karla, voices letsthe go into background. the She moves In other the room she can hear Jamie the supervising Karla enters her room at Bridge the suite, ignoring Jamie, her Throat Chakra Mani that cries night and morning, inthe out goes to greet It may have words these been that reached her. It may have In spring the yellow the when began daffodils blooming, sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 77 Ducking into an alley an he into Ducking trouble for him. for trouble seeclosed eyes to with his better his third eye chakra. There, about about eye chakra. There, third his the kingpin knew that James was was James knew that the kingpin three blocks back were the bad were back blocks three kingpin’s stare. And he knew that knew he that And stare. kingpin’s guys. The grays were bad. They had bad. were The grays guys. surgery for his third eye he felt the felt eye he third his surgeryfor no sense of morality. This gray was was This gray morality. senseno of He had been undercover as a Freak for for a Freak as been had undercover He six months. About a month after his his after a month About six months. apparently working with the Freaks. The gray The gray the Freaks. with working apparently no avail.” When the technology for the marbles became available, became available, the marbles the technology for When Third Eye Chakra Eye Third who strangers against staggering hell; like Carter ran James “Her voice a “Her voice crackle and a whisper as she cries for help to cries for his stomach and launched himself out on the sidewalk. on out himself launched and stomach his saw him with his third eye chakra. James got a lurching feeling in feeling a lurching got eye chakra. James third his with him saw get him killed if he didn’t move faster. faster. move him killedget didn’t if he it wasn’t that easy. As long as he had the marble, he had the Freaks’ the Freaks’ had he the marble, had he as long As easy. that wasn’t it all the illegal of the multiple books knowledge set and ups, kingpin’s to going was that Knowledge committed. had the monster murders arsenal. As an undercover spy for the Feds, he saw it as a perfect as it saw he the Feds, for spy undercover an As arsenal. all wanted he Now for. waiting was he the promotion on up hand course of But it. smash and forehead his of out dig it to was do to Freaks’ grasp. Freaks’ his for choosechakra to eye the thethird first of one was James his contacts now. The Freaks would know. They might already They already might know. would Freaks The now. contacts his the that was for hope All could he houses. the safe about know the from safe were boxes left in drop the scribbled notes hastily felt on fire. How had those bastards found him? He had kept a low a low kept had He him? found had those bastards How fire. on felt had been easy creits and clothes expensive up his Giving profile. make he could no way was There the streets. on living to compared pushed him away from them. His sides were burning and his lungs lungs his and burning sides were them. His from him away pushed straddles her he expertly slips his fingers into her throat chakra, her throat into fingers expertly his straddles he her slips a voice Her croaks. and gags Karla the room. of then runs out and avail. no to help cries a whisper for she as crackleand in her chest but it is too late. He pounces and grabs her using the using her grabs and pounces He too late. is it but chest in her she Desperately throat. and mouth her over hand his of pressure he As material. gray in a slick covered face is his him but at claws visible on the neck of the faucet and she feels a scream building building a scream feels she and the faucet of the neck on visible sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 78 gray’s projection causing of will James to toJames his knees. fall no match for man. the He felt drain away his will from him,the with aturban covering his third eye. James could feel he was snagged kingpin the too. to put assholes these wherewon’t they able be to get out and we have able been to get Thanks all. them to you we have enough a third eyechakra.If we you had pulled out any earlier we wouldn’t violet aura. She helped James up with help the of another man with him. intosinking his brain and as gray heart the one forced on his will reprieve against death. his certain Already he could feel pain the concentrated on his inner light of indigo, hoping for alast minute Sorry to put youSorry through much, so saidwith girl the Afterwhentime ahe no longer felt anypain he his opened Peace rolled over James. He right walked into gray. the gray The thin man tall, was a yes. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 79 by Rachel Frost Rachel Frost by Broken Rules Broken “Now, “Now, none of that. I didn’t even bring Tyn with me. I just Thoughhe was certain the thief was scared, the boy puffed The words were strong from someone sosomeone from strong were short. ThisThewords thiefwas “I didn’t think you would make it,” the thief said, stepping from from stepping said, thief the it,” make would you think didn’t “I As As Octras reached a flat surface largeenough standto on, He He moved, little by little, until he found the footprints he Octras licked his cracked lips as he studied the ground. The broadsword strapped to his belt. his to strapped broadsword need the shells you took from Dors, and I’ll Octras be on my way.” rose if to reaction. insist “But you his full height, weighing the boy’s on Varinfighting,I’msure here He would tapped love the to play.” hardly more than a boy; even if he had some combat skill, he was no no was he skill, combat some had he boy;if a even than more hardly Octras. for match climb, it means you’re either a magician or a death seeker. I’m curious curious I’m seeker. death a or magician a either you’re means it climb, I’ll is be which it killing.” know to the shadows. His black hair hung like drapes from a loose ponytail. clever to “You’re have followed me this far. Since you survived the stretched as he hoisted himself over the ledge and onto the shelf—the shelf—the the onto and ledge the over himself hoisted he as stretched treasures with filled expected, he than larger much was It cave. thief’s the region. all over from kept him from falling. him from kept he knew he was just below the entrance. His muscles tensed and led straight up the mountainside. Octras gripped the wall of gravel and climbed. was It like crawling up several flightsof brokenstairs. his him, calloused but careful balance and slid hands around Stones was was looking Tiny rocks for. had been pressed lightly into the moist ground where he now stood. Theymarked the thief’s trail, which man man was designed to climb the slope. Even as Octras drew breath, the rocks and gave he way, slid down a finger-length.The onlyway it. test to was here footing sure find to jutted jutted out along the face of the mountain. It was an ideal hideout, From the really. road, it was impossible to see any of the caves that no treacherous; was terrain the And cliffs. broken the among existed rocks around his rocks around feet slipped when he stood. knewHe that his shell that cliffs jagged the among hiding pass, this in somewhere was thief sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 80 ogd ad h tif uhd at i. crs hee around wheeled Octras him. past pushed thief the and dodged, write it on your grave anyway, you.” Ibury when with bravado. “I don’t know what you’re spouting, mercenary, but I’ll half hishalf body, boy the on carried his shoulders. again. of service rules against the go haveto Hewould mind. his within goingon struggle Octras alive. was unseen another it, sheathed boy and broadsworddamaged his grabbed the yet well—and punishment that knew shallow breath. broken Badly from his own foolish mistake—Octras to his waist. Octras removed them, and then checked for a pulse and tied still were stolen had he shells The brokenbones.and bruises of down mountainside. the thief the after slid he road, the go. toward let Turning and area flat only the to shelf aroundbrought the thump,himself sudden Octras a with ended sound the When slope. the down tumbling thief the smashed side hear could His he him, over.Below sword. his went dropped he and cliff, he the into as hand right his with rock the him, sending them overtackled both thief the ledge.gripped Octras was adull thud against his chainmail. out toward Octras entrance. the hadn’t The blade it skin; his pierced pushing landed, finally blow A confidence. with swung he yet and were barely Octras wide; had to sidestep his swings. movements his but times, several slashed and turned He entrance. the toward stumbled opponent’sboy his head—the on pushed and The mercenary, arms shaking and fresh blood trailing across trailing blood fresh and shaking mercenary, arms The pile sad a in lay body unconscious thief’s the bottom, the At the as guard off taken broadsword—andwashis drew Octras attackswrong. thief’s wereall The trained, been never had He thief Octras The lunged knifeflashingforward, struck. a he as sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 81 I was I was —‘perfect for a walk’ for —‘perfect by Robertby Rischel g while putting the kickstand on my motorcycle down and and down motorcycle my on the kickstand g while putting A Murder in the Switching Yard Switching in the A Murder Sneaking into a bar with a fake ID made going to the police to going ID made a fake with a bar into Sneaking I learned much later from her mother that it started when her it that mother her from later I learned much “You can help me carry it back,” she cheerfully I she added and carry me back,” help it can “You kept she Susan—something about something was there But “Oh I suppose,” she groaned hesitantly as a warm breeze was was breeze a warm as hesitantly groaned she I suppose,” “Oh groceries,” some get and Albertson’s to walk over should “I It was dark out and here was this guy who was a friend of who a friend was this was guy of here and out dark was It It was a warm summer’s night summer’s a warm was It and reporting it, seem out of the question so Susan lived with the with lived so Susan the question of seem it, out reporting and Base offering her a ride home and her accepting it.. But instead of instead But it.. her accepting and her a home ride Base offering wouldn’t Lake and to Sheridan out her took he taking home, her answer. an for take NO cousin Lisa convinced her to going to a bar when she was under age age under was when she a bar to going to her Lisa convinced cousin never she in ways there from on went in. It get use ID to a fake and Ellsworth Force Air expected, from Airmen a nice looking with and manner around a guy coming to seek her favor—but we all we seek favor—but to her coming a guy around manner and too painful talk secrets, some to about. have hidden. She wrapped herself in a distant aloofness that was easy was aloofness that in a distant herself wrapped hidden. She … Church the Catholic of the teaching to adherence as dismiss to be reserve should appearance her in woman a young how about was more than happy to comply. to happy than more was she rationalized her decision with—as my face brightened when I face brightened my with—as decision her rationalized she that. heard graduated and landed a good landed job. and graduated breathe. a lover’s like cheek my against blowing our conversations always started with Susan talking about how how talking about Susan started with always conversations our going was he hoped she do this or to going was Jim thought she he after around revolve to wanted she the Sun was He that. do to an old boyfriend who broke her heart by not proposing after he after proposing not heart by her boyfriend old who broke an tell I could in Minnesota. job engineering an landed and graduated because again love on taking a chance about reservations had she the window right away, but I could tell immediately that she wasn’t wasn’t she that immediately tell I could but away, right the window not? in a trusting mood—and why thinkin to came she up me ride hearing After agree. would Susan hoping sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 82 He was acraftsmanwithknack a for things—butbuilding notso violation insecretand never told anyone. a good one,a good to one snaky-eyed the The idea must have like seemed blowing its horn not far away. switchingin the yard was swung open and alocomotive backdoor Hill of Boot the amusing to him—just as the thought of manual labor was on left the chuckled,the like to workused for he asked. me?” wondered aloud. were to easy come by there ifyou had money for drinks. bar, during Sturgis the especially Bike newfound Rally—and friends summer’s night. eyeslooking forbeady opportunity, here was Louis on that warm his right and other the immediately to his left. Withtheir hard awhile— regrets last night on Earth. the makes loveless the Louis—poor, gullible—poor Louis on poor his lonely find companionshipsamethe in fleeting liquor while ways, someone inits wake. But like water under ascorching sun, the heard—andcould be we were looking for both that special distance, baying its departure for along into journey night the as alover’s breathe. The lonelysound of alocomotive the off in him and now Louis was poor left to drownsorrows his with liquor. other his gifts, seemed to flitterbusinesses away,like their love for downturn inhis life on women the he loved. company worth three-quarters of amillion dollars. He blamed the atgood managing his construction company and later atrucking “Work for ya,” one the “Have we met before? Didyou guys With two the of one them, on eachsideof himnow, Louis Now Hill had Saloon areputation Boot the for arowdy being My head should be spinning by now but wasn’t and all those andWhile breeze nightthe the warm perfect was still still Afterlavishing themwith expensive vacations,cars nice and otherOn the hand, Louis had had his ups-and-downs inlife.

about lost loves and his lost fortune would be gone for when twowhen guys—one snaky-eyed sitting immediately to *** saloon named after a famous cemetery seemed somewhat seemed somewhat them beingina “the irony of “the irony of

apt.” sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 83 ‘Only the the ‘Only *** ***

While Louis, poor poor Louis was going to to poor going Louis, poorwas Louis While …”you Catholic girls start much too late” seemed too late” start girls much Catholic …”you

. THINGS ON THE TRACKS GET SCATTERED AND AND SCATTERED GET TRACKS THE ON . THINGS I can only speculate about how it ended and Susan was was Susan ended and it how about speculate only I can Later the autopsy photo showed you swollen and badly and swollen you showed photo the autopsy Later Louis poor Louis, were you laughing with them when one them when with one laughing you poor were Louis Louis, I thought it would be a nice place to go when the breeze when the breeze go be to a nice place would it I thought But it’s also a place where lovebirds like to smooch above the smooch to above like lovebirds also where a place it’s But Now Rapid City South Dakota, at the foot of the Black Hills, Hills, the Black of the foot at Dakota, South City Rapid Now “Nooo,” the man on the left did all on the talking. the man “Nooo,” looking feeling—as uneasy an get to starting was Louis And I talked, you were bleeding from the mouth and your face was face was your and the mouth from bleeding were I talked, you traumatized again by another crime. Louis, to my knowledge the knowledge my to Louis, crime. another by again traumatized and when you murder—and your solved never Police City Rapid bruised—long after a shocked “HUH!” and “CALL THE POLICE” “CALL THE POLICE” and “HUH!” shocked a after bruised—long cried. excitedly was by scavengers with wings or four legs. Yes poor Louis, according to to poor according Louis, legs. Yes four or wings with scavengers by in your money with home go couldn’t friends you newfound your night. pocket that toward the railroad tracks, where your body would be rip and torn torn be body and rip would your where tracks, the railroad toward the Boot friends from Hill newfound your if beto scattered—and furthereven would scattered pieces the leftover lucky, really were you directing was and shoulder your around arm his had probably like why she might feel that way—as we continued to laugh and and laugh to continued we way—as that feel might she why like her from far groceries, not for Albertson’s to way our on joke apartment. was warm as a lover’s breathe. But Susan was hesitant for reasons reasons for hesitant was Susan But breathe. a lover’s as warm was Joel’s Billy from the words then and understand I didn’t Die Young’ Good off in the distance from a passing freight train in the night, reminds reminds in night, the train freight a passing from in distance the off they need why each other. of those lovebirds coyotes, cougars and rattlesnakes. and cougars coyotes, way wail the lonely As below. down shimmering the city, of lights used to hang their criminals during the gold rush of the 1880’s, the 1880’s, rush of the gold their criminals during used hang to of thosehanged the ghosts That said: is it Rock and Hangman’s at the with night—along at the forest through thenback still move they there Up a high called ridge Drive. divided by is Skyline back, the irony of them being in a saloon named after a famous a famous after them being in a saloon named of theback, irony cemetery apt. seemed somewhat HARDER TO FIND. HARDER would. he figured never he in ways meet a train on the left on sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 84 arrive and you told me alittle about yourself. About your lost we were while totime talk waiting for Rapid the City to police swollen and bruised. cemetery. coming for what happened named asaloon behind after afamous found not far from switching the yard. anything about you afterthat—just that your mutilated wasbody finishjob?the investigationcursory and your newfound came friends back to that his father once worked for you. Were youthere left after a to crime. the But officer, the tookwho statement, my mentioned found and Iwent to give astatement—no one thought was relevant breathe. lousy place to dieon anight that breeze the was as warm as alover’s hardly saw anymore and wished you more could see of. fortune and your lost loves? How you for grieved adaughter you Louis, Ihope yourRest inpeace got killers what had they RapidThe City Journal and KELO-land never news reported Two days later KELO-land News reported your being body Poor Louis, that switching yard was a saloon the behind youDo remember still that night Louis? That somewe had sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 85 Love II by Nicole Milgate Nicole by The pain comes and goes but is not far. I feel at a loss for for at a loss feel I far. not is but goes and comes The pain away and say goodbye. goodbye. say and away colder and more bitter as each day drifted by. Why couldn’t you let you couldn’t Why by. drifted each day as bitter more and colder let me never would you promised You the door. shut not in and me walk you as heart in hand my with the fool look I’m now and go, I seemed to just let slip by. I want the comforting of numbness that that numbness of the comforting I want by. let slip I seemed just to my of in the fog illusion so will the pain seem a distant like I know, His grew eyes while I choose fight. to walk to chose away He mind. the memories start to fill me up again and I can’t take the hit. I want I want hit. take the I can’t and again up fill start to me the memories with ease here while the pain slowly I stay and take the bottle to that said or done have I should things eyes. So many in my sorrow mind, no matter what the price. We pushed and then shoved til then shoved and pushed We the price. what matter no mind, out heart ripped my with there standing surprise I’m No the end. everything re-playing I keep comes. reality while of grip the cold piece of my shattered heart, which I struggle most though mend to shattered my of piece a new beginning and I wanted been already in the dust. lost have my from far not is him it I try ending! up convince a fucked to got words wish there was something to say to make you turn around around turn you make to say to something was there wish words a With the door. walk out you instead but mind your change and sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 86 neck, getting her dress wet. It able is never as be ifshe to will stop to floor the and tears come rolling down her checks and down her monthsthe she when last to got see aphone Her call. sinks heart inside and is puzzled why? away!”call Hum-m-m, she reflects a phone call away. She hurts Shedecade! remembers sayings, “Remember, I’m kids, just aphone Sheit to starts been? count years. the add They up to ten. That isa go where she wanted. It How beginning. the was fun-in long has to anyone, doing thingsway the she she when pleased, wanted and exited she was to have her own place, feeling no longer aburden month by month. She at looks her calendardays andthe sees crossed off one by one, She ponders how long it since she has received been aphone call. as she puts her phone her as she beside sits down into her chair. phone, pushes “talk” the button and hears tone. adial She sad looks window. as watchingthis she liesinher bed sunset the through bedroom the washes dishes-yet the there is something missing. She ponders on gives her washes food, her clothes, cleans her apartment and even here, but somehow it doesn’t make her feel much different. The aid doesn’t it make her happy? She has human contact with her aid andoh,looks her aid sees… comes in. computer. She clicks on solitaire the game says, then “Come in.” She and wonders how long shestaring has at been screenon the her of day. the She hears at aknock her door. She shakes her head have something to occupy quiet, the lonely, never ending hours gives ray her asmall of hope. “Maybe today,” she mumbles. works. There toneis adial and sheknows it workingis still thisand She picks it up and presses “talk” the button to make sure it still She returns to calendar the on her lap. She through looks She remembers she when moved into her apartment. How dayA new comes and once again she picks up her cordless This doesn’t make her feel happy? She wonders, “Why?” Why She plays solitaire day all on her computer. She is happy to She puts her phone next to her as she sits down inher chair. A Phone Call TooA Phone Call Late by Ernstsen Elizabeth sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 87 . Did now gone now “WHY?” The old lady was sheltered, fed, and clothed- clothed- and fed, sheltered, was old lady The The Tears stop finally, her head is still bowed, she doesn’t she doesn’t is still her bowed, head finally, stop Tears The she ever answer her own question of of question own her ever answer she sees the old lady sitting in her chair with her phone clasped in her clasped in her phone her with chair in her sees sitting lady the old is aid The answers. one no but phone the is a ring from There hand. calling the morgue. cell phone her on busy move. There is a knock at the door. There is no reply. Another Another reply. no is There at door. the is a knock There move. aid The in walks the aid. and opens the door silence, just knock and text! “Why?” she asks out loud, the tears still streaming down her her down still streaming the tears loud, out asks she “Why?” text! head is her as lap the her pool on into drip and drip, drip, now face, down. bowed the tears. It has been six months and not one phone call not even a call not phone one not and been has months six It the tears. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 88 Both eighty,Both now we plays known tricks, darnslowly. too Mother Nature sometimes Whom to tell? With whom to share? my mantra. Achieved Honors! Ha! “Go became to school?” Istoppedlost. So trying. for naught-three families gone- My search, forever I heard He then. cried Him right last to one. be Served atDead seventy! Lucky! by HEstood Her. on. inneed,fearful-passed Born Mom not inLove. born broken lives forever more. Then,said, he “I don’t.” three-His Married, we said, “I do.” things- notLife does Love. quicklyso gone forever? Why didIfeel Love Taking her promises; drugs. Once a Hearts don’t break. Minds do. What can Isay us? to heal no love ever. silience. All Not loved Iknew then, She came—leftdays. in

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by M.Fuller Mary

Sixty Years

!

sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 89 Lonely by Shirley Fifer Shirley by I have to talk the computer to them on to I have do Email I can’t I am contented and have a good life have and contented I am kids a nudge my giving PS: And Don’t cry for me, I’m only kidding only I’m cry me, for Don’t write those who cant for writing And That takes up an hour an up takes That the auction for a point i get And which will be fun And my birthday I hope birthday my And today bingo I’ll play If you could only tell them tell only could you If they’ll Christmas well, Oh for be here You’re glad they are successful glad they are You’re them of proud And Mine want me to live forever live to me want Mine enough not 100 is to more 12 years me for enough it’s But They don’t know I’m lonely I’m know They don’t gone. they will when I’m me miss they are working hard to keep starvation from the door. from starvation keep to hard working they are time. have don’t just they but me They love I have 4 wonderful adult kids adult 4 wonderful I have their own of lives with busy they are But I’ve been a widow a lot of years of been a lot a widow I’ve old sad grow to Its talk to to. anyone have not and sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 90 And be glad And be read it They’ll If Iget published I’ll HAVEI’ll INKTOMORROW. Thank heavens forCompanionSenior a wonderful If Iget for ink my printer sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 91 by Elizabeth Ernstsen by Ode to the Meds the Ode to (for anyone who is stuck with a pill!) with is stuck who anyone (for Just think- I’ll document all of this as we go and you will have will have you and think- go I’ll this we all as document of Just We can fix you up with another one for only another six another only for one another up with you fix can We If another on doesn’t please you and me- well, we will we well, me- and please you doesn’t on another If Now after 2 months trial we can make adjustments to it to adjustments make trial we can months 2 after Now has It out. new med brand is a This you! help let me Here, just sign here on the dotted line so you and your family will not be will family not your and so line you the dotted on sign here just will be set up We you.) to bad happens if anything me sue to able life! your of the rest for done so much for the greater of mankind! Oh that reminds me: me: reminds that Oh mankind! of the greater for so much done a living been on tested hasn’t it so is pill newthis that new model of you’ll if (Now exiting? that Isn’t be the first! being. You’ll human decades of your life anyway? You are not going anywhere in the in anywhere going not are You anyway? life your decades of now. in right are you shape imagine that? Won’t this be fun? Why just think decades in a few just this be fun? Why Won’t that? imagine the look wall on a blank with at staring there be sitting won’t you a few is What now. right doing are you like face anymore your have to lose? to have a decade! Can you this for be can at We life. your of out months just keep trying until we get the one that is right! Now don’t get get don’t Now right! is that trying the keep one get we just until six only is it well, you- suite doesn’t one if the first discouraged do you what in now- are you the shape with and in total months working just right- well, we will just take you all the way off which off all the way take you will we just well, right- just working life. your of out 2 months another is taking another 2 months out of your life to see if it works any better. better. any works see to it if life your of out months 2 takinganother in med (now this model of If come. to the best yet is wait- just Now isn’t capsules) white and in the blue which comes the higher dosage working in your system before you see any results. This one has far far has one This results. see any you before system in your working today. market on the others side effects lest than the sleek outside with the latest delay release contents inside. It is is It inside. contents release delay the latest with outside the sleek all on meds the of other comfort the most you designed the give to get really to life your of 2 months takes only It today. the market sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 92 my own dots. my mind locks aboutthinks shock its makes me blink red, green, and pink even on balls the on walls the by colors and lots dots I see by Jonnathon Hardy Dots sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 93 by Jo Anna Johannesen Anna Jo by when curiosity takes hold. Oh nothing ever would be safe ever would nothing Oh sometimes I feel they try! I feel really sometimes It’s good that Babies do not fly... do not Babies good that It’s If Babies Could Babies If Fly If all the babies could take flight... could all the babies If it just might prove a bit too much. a bit prove might just it just think of all the wondrous sights. all think the wondrous of just from the searching wandering waifs. wandering the searching from Oh nature just wouldn’t be the same. wouldn’t just nature Oh like thousand searching bumblebees. searching thousand like How busy this new world would be... would this new world busy How For this new world just might unfold, might just this new world For They’d have so much to smell and touch, and to smell much so have They’d The flowers and birds just might get lame, get might just birds and flowers The sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 94 a cry that could nota cry leave us be. for of needs A cry infancy, valiantthis effort overlooked? For what was Ito dobut cry, a daughter left her father’s clutch. and just as we were introduced, of dreamed-up creativity, But wisdommoment’s this failed test stonythe from abirth. poem whisperedproudly,then inmy ear, a father’s wisdom to his babe, You thought of ways you would convey upon breast the of purity. And such was ours. And such was ours formtook truest within your arms. of circumstance, admittedly, complete with name, and silhouette love,Our like an agentic shift, as Isucked hard for mother’s milk. Your finger traced tinymy gums Genetic AmputationGenetic by Garrett Drage sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 95 Friends reflecting reality reflecting Friends are there are Friends there are Friends there are Friends uplifting cheerfully uplifting you need a gentle ear need a gentle you that adds a bit of light of a bit adds that by Jo Anna Johannesen Anna Jo by your heart full is fear of your Friends are there anytime there are Friends you feel the need shout feel to you like thoselike befriending you? to someone who feels blue? who feels someone to Friends are like a rising Sun a rising like are Friends to someone who needs one? someone to When will you be will the friend you When be will the friend you When When will you be will the friend you When be will the friend you When your world is filled is doubt with world your Friends are like a clear blue lake blue a clear like are Friends Friends are like a clear full a clear like moon are Friends when someone needs a bit of fun? of needs a bit when someone sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 96 better. The moretimes I aloudhelp will read alot, too. do. With help the all and support Ihave around only me, I will get was among friends! tion Center, and from everyone Community the Writing Center. I muchso support there, with Deb, from everyone Ac Literacy the up afew notches, and Ifelt wonderful! At public the reading, Ihad reading aloud without my shaking! knees My self-confidence went comfortable with situation. the Ican’t feeling the Ihad, describe andstand my taller voice was more forceful! To my surprise, Iwas Whentalking. Iheard that my voice wasn’t shaking, Ifelt myself and panic away, just up walk there and doit! Terrified, I started allows, aperson to write. that that everyone read had that thing inside that them makes, or a no-no! stop! The music wassheet for followingalong but rolling it up was sic sheet. Getting cross from looks my music teacher, couldn’t Istill front of schooland the guests. Nervously, Ikept rolling up my mu chorus andspecial Isang, “Somewhere Rainbow,” the Over solo, in was at church When grade, giving I was in talks. Iwas fifth inthe only other that times Ispoke to acrowd infront of amicrophone City. inSaltlibrary Lake Iwas scared to death, you might say! The I’m ready to make writing one of my number one things to When it was my turn to read my story, Ihad to force fear the Compassionately, Ilistened to other the stories. Icould tell about nervous I was going very to public the reading at the Public Reading by Karen Larsen

- - sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 97 The Table The by Katherine January Katherine by for lovers, strangers and kin and strangers lovers, for and what is within arm’s reach arm’s within is what and come to hours will the tableless hearten and the table becomes an evening island, a vessel island, evening an becomes the table and fat the winter end, summer’s of the feast storing for all that is needed is beall can passed that across side side to or the promise of basil hangs in the air basil hangs of the promise deepens each with in the carrots the ginger and poem memory and story, the garden empties itself into basket and kitchen and basket into itself empties the garden figs ripe plump find honey and gorgonzola no longer unlovely, the table gathers the table unlovely, longer no votives tiny its side, to guest after guest deepens the darkness faces as brightening transformed and transforming, the table the table transforming, and transformed multiplies the inside in and the outside brings and a bowl of late summer zinnias summer late a bowl of and everything changes the table disfigured by time and water and by time disfigured disgrace in the garage from hauled cloth a vintage with covered this occasion, for sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 98 Don’t Forget The Mustard Of, from pigs to cattle, home made custard, Guns, turkey shoot, prizes with collateral. That’sthreetimes I asked for a hot dog, Prizes for everything youPrizes for can think everything Cotton candy, old the pickle barrel, But where hell’s the mustard. the Well it’s about time, my hot dog, Did you hear, Iwant a hot dog. The county fair’s bloom,full in Can we buy some cards? post Well day the seems was fun. Don’t forget mustard. the Don’t forget mustard. the Don’t forget mustard. the And it’s four far, so times I don’t guard, this trust Let’s go on rides, the Quilts of every size, Quilts of every This ride This ain’tsafe, by Joyce Luttrell I want ahot dog, sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 99 Raspberries by Ramona Maassen Ramona by As he came up the walkway to her house he smoother his his smoother he house her to the walkway up came he As gallery away Right opening. a friend’s at her met had He Whipped cream! What was she thinking of? she was if they What cream! What Whipped The mother said, “I’m not waiting till you come back I gots gots I back come tillyou waiting not “I’m said, mother The squeezed she past As something.” forgot Go ahead, I just “No! “I forgot something.” She said in a bright tone of voice with a with voice of tone in a bright said She something.” forgot “I family youngest on the even was evident apathy The As she stood in line at the checkout she suddenly suddenly she the checkout stood at in line she As nearly she counter the checkout from away turned she As “Raspberries,” she thought, “with peaches and French toast. toast. French peaches and “with thought, she “Raspberries,” no, the stuff, peppered I get Should the thick slices. get “I’ll would work out. He hated the dating scene. When she invited him invited she When scene. the dating hated He out. work would the evening, for there a movie watch to and dinner for place her to full himself anticipation. of found he the one. I am so tired of dinners alone. dinners so of tired I am the one. this that hoped so He was nice. She hand. right his with down hair didn’t get along? Here she was planning an elaborate breakfast and and breakfast elaborate an planning was she Here along? get didn’t their respective of either at alone evening an even spent they hadn’t God. Oh even seen never Let place. her him be fact he’d In homes. through her. through work tomorrow.” tomorrow.” work who child looked pee the the sour smell young could of them she member’s face. member’s smile. collided with a tired family waiting behind her. waiting family collided a tired with remembered, “Whipped cream! I almost forgot the whipped forgot I almost cream! “Whipped remembered, herself. to murmured She cream.” along the aisles of the supermarket. the supermarket. of the aisles along pepper.” like in case doesn’t better he is plain I have coffee and creamer at home. What elseneed? do I – Bacon! What home. at creamer and coffee I have walked she as smiled herself to She eater.” a meat in case he’s just sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 100 she her liked coffeewith cream. occasional cup of coffee. He feltthat silly that was he knew all really talking abstract stuff.the been by had phoneThey and having the hitthey it off. liked the paintingsboth They people the of but hated more casual.” thumba loose here.” with lemon. comedy. She came out of kitchen the bringing two sparkling waters on he afilm hadn’tbefore seen manyso that he didn’t know one which to pick. He settled finally by category. Comedy, romance action,thrillers, classics. There were with filled heDVDs. saw case They were abook TV the organized seat. Alarge coffeetable sat carved the center in the of room. Near decorated with plush pillows and leather adeep couch and alove a number of orchids invarious stages of growth. The room was into kitchen. the around Looking he what liked he saw. She had movie?” pilaf and It’s salad. of aspecialty house. the you Do want to pick the joking. “Ah, sure!” them. tongue over her front to teeth make sure that her lipstick wasn’t on “Unless you’d like to sit at table? the Ijust thought it would be “Ok.” “I thought we might eat inhere, we watch while movie.” the “Do you want me to help table the or set anything? Ifeel like She gave wonderful himawide smile. “You’re infor atreat.” “No, intriguing.” title seemed the “Oh that’s alovely one. Have you it before?” seen She gestured toward living the room and back headed “Actually it’s chicken cordon bleu. I’m it with arice serving He was back for taken amoment she realized then was “I hope dinners.” you like TV She said you.“Thank in It smellshere.” good “Come on in.” She said. She door opened the after counting three,runningto her Trembling alittle he rang door the bell. Death at aFuneral. It was aBritish sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 101 In the morning, for he did stay the night, she made pancakes. pancakes. made she the night, did stay he for the morning, In “May I kiss you?” He asked. He you?” I kiss “May in living pillows the by side the side still sitting were They Commenting on the scenarios as they were played out. out. played the they scenarios as were on Commenting dessertafter and long had finished, movie the after Long “It looks delicious” he said as he reached for one of the plates the plates of one for reached he as said he looks delicious” “It Times moment. the about tangible was something There movie. the meal ate the watching They Nodding to the coffee table where he had placedhad drinks.he their where table the coffee to Nodding out brought she and again the kitchen into disappeared She “Here take this.I’ll be back.” “Here the kitchen. into back went glass and him her handed She Set the table.” “Here. “That sounds great!” He felt like a dummy as as the soon dummy a like felt He great!” “That sounds glad.” smiled.“I’m She their glasses They drank from pancakes. It was then he told her that he was allergic raspberries. was he to that her told then he was It pancakes. mouths still barely touching. still barely mouths the of top on piled Raspberries nestled in mounds peaches lay and room in front of the massive coffee table. She turned her face up to to up turnedher face She table. coffee the massive of in front room room, their her to her followed He the lasted evening. The kiss his. coffee, there was a lull in a conversation. was the there coffee, Laughing outrageously as the plots thickened. the plots as outrageously Laughing had set off a ting. She blushed. Smiled hesitantly, the broadly. broadly. the Smiled hesitantly, blushed. She a setting. had off lowed and then seemed to speed up again. In his heart something heart something his In thenseemed speed again. and to up lowed arranged on the plates. the plates. on arranged proffering. was she two salads, which he set side by side on the coffee table. She went went She table. thecoffee side on salads,two set which he side by artfully already the chicken out brought and in theback kitchen She came right back out with two napkins rolled around their around rolled napkins two with out back right came She silverware. words left his mouth. left his words sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 102 If Imissthis first shot,mystomachwill sicken. As Isteptothe ball,Ifeelmypulsequicken! In mycabbyplaidhat,and mymatchingplaidsocks. It’s myturntohit,asImovethebox, I snatchupmyclubs,andload upthecart. Now atthecourse,nearlyreadytostart, One daywithsomepractice,I’llprobablyturnpro. I’m notreallybragging,butjustsoyouknow, So hurrylet’s go,fortodayI’llshootpar! I smileandsmirk,asjumpinthecar. Their onlyexcusewas,theystoppedforsomebeer. I hearthehornhonking,finallythey’rehere! This poemissogood,Ishouldmakeitasong! That’s notverynice,soI’llmoverightalong… They havechangedhisnamefrom Since hesteppedoutonhiswifeEeda, I begintofantasize,aboutbeating My mindstartstowander, asIcheckovermygoods. It’s aquarterpast7,they’rerunninglate. I’m soexcited,Icanhardlywait! Today’s theday, thegolfballsfly! The sunisrising,inthesky. When mypalsarrive,I’llbeonway. I lovetogolf,today’s theday! One Summer Day by Paul S.Loya Tiger Tiger, toCheata! Woods! sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 103 … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Then I woke up from a very deep sleep :) then rolled in the hole! The ball hit the green, keep. Now I have the title, and the title I’ll going, I’m not going to lie! This ball just kept and that was my goal. It broke all the records, like a bat out of hell! It left the ground, into the sky, Over the grass, and who would’ve knew! I hit this ball, like I hit this ball well! I’m really not kidding, dance. my mind, like a the motions in I go through through, and a smooth follow a slow backswing, Then with the tee. the ball on place down, and myself I calm the right stance. the ball, and pick I address to me. all up it’s and breathe, I focus sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 104 The Plate, butparticular, in a man named Tony,who was only a to tug on anewcomer’s ear. Igot to know of all bartenders the at were always afew regulars sipping at steins their and of ready beer poorlyClash toIt taped wall. the was astoryteller’s bar, and there make out afew tattered concert posters and for Zeppelin The Led blasting wrap-ups. sports Throughthedark lighting one could lacked cocktails fancy the of St. Bourbon or a row of televisions ambience from Imissed bars the back home.Copper The Plate PlateCopper on Bienville that attracted me with rock the n’ roll was always something going on. Orleans it out, wasto easy be because, no matter hour, the there compulsion to immediately flee my surroundings. And in New of sitting infront of my manual small typewriter, Iwould feel the I found that regardless of hour the of day, aftertwenty minutes thatfocus much more on my writing. suited me fine.believed I my limited comfort would push me to onI stood it. However, Iwas and an ascetic my meager quarters a precarious to tendency lean toward street the below whenever poisonous spiders would cover it inwebs, and that balcony the had matter how many rocking Icleaned times wooden the chair, shiny I never mentioned cost the of my rent to anyone else. my stomach worse than realization the that Iwasoverpaying. badly The embarrassment someoneof knowing badly I knottedoverpaid corner of my and forced bed as ifto asmile say what-do-you-do. until it was no longer aquestion. sitting while Ishrugged on far the suddenly frozen. “For three hundred square feet,” he kept repeating I paid monthly, like sip he the exhaled on of his beer tongue had kitchen atoilet boast next to stove. the When Ifirst told Tonywhat have found didn’t carpet aplace whose into sink moldy or wood equipped rocking with wooden chair. For what Iwas paying Icould St. French inthe that Quarter its boasted own balcony spacefully- Most of my adventures would The at start bar called asmall For first the month, my living hardlyspace proved fruitful. I was to after learn my firstweek in New Orleans that no anI had sub-leased attic room for three months on Burgundy Rebuilding theLevees by Christopher Steffen sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 105 “Tony trailed “Tony to break any woman’s heart.” woman’s glazed his eyes with glazed his eyes off his sentences and just enough tear-gloss just enough tear-gloss

Inevitably Tony would regale the tourists with his Noah-like Noah-like his with the tourists regale would Tony Inevitably “I’d be willing to gamble on that,” I said. that,” on be gamble willing to “I’d the arrival with of lobby the hotel from came noise of A lot “Suit yourself,” said Charlie while shrugging, “but the only while the only Charlie shrugging, said “but yourself,” “Suit “I don’t know how thrilled I am to go roving the gay bars bars the gay thrilled roving go to how I am know don’t “I One afternoon I met Tony in the Carousel in the Bar in the Carousel Tony met I afternoon One stories were always punctuated with his his with punctuated always were stories screams of people still trapped in still people trapped of screams hack to axe an needing their attics Katrina His freedom. to their way rafts using hundred year-old wooden year-old hundred using rafts hotels landmark from stripped doors the hear could You restaurants. and floating pets and the elderly down streets streets down elderly and the pets floating corpse-infested and flooded in rat- makeshift constructed had He waters. heavy-set women from Iowa decked in J.C. Penny casuals. Penny in J.C. decked Iowa from heavy-set women him these involved of Most Katrina. tales of a convention group. After a lull in the lobby noise, the bar up filled the bar noise, lull in a lobby the After group. a convention Tony company. internet major some from designers graphic with to chatting laps of a couple I took and men and beautiful women.” and men good pussy out tonight will be singing Happy Birthday for Deon’s Deon’s for Birthday will Happy be singing tonight out good pussy gay two of types has friends: only boy that know You twenty-fifth. with a bunch of queers while Deon tries to score curious farm farm curious while queers tries Deon score to of a bunch with me. to then turned and Tony said men,” business discreet and boys hook.” a fish as straight is “Deon friend of theirs, a waiter from the famous oyster restaurant around around restaurant oyster the famous from a waiter friend theirs, of the corner. Monteleone Hotel. We drank Cuban Libres and made small made talk and Libres Cuban drank We Hotel. Monteleone told Charlie, The bartender, a friend Tony’s. of the bartender, with another for being thrown was party that a bar-hopping about us able to get a few things into little French Quarter zines. My career career My Quarter zines. French little into things a few get to able started modestly. He was the one who introduced me to much of the working crowd crowd the working of much to me who introduced the one was He and writing, my also championed He stay. my meet during to I was I was Weekly, Orleans the New into pieces any get while I couldn’t acquaintance and would often lead me around different Quarter Quarter different around leadme often would and acquaintance at worked and years two for Plate The been had at Tony haunts. how). ask (don’t that year before a for bar) blacksmith (the Lafitte’s few years younger than me (he was twenty-two), became a fast became fast a twenty-two), was (he me than younger years few sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 106 his eyeswith just enough tear-gloss to break any woman’s heart. firsttheir floorapartment. Tony trailed off his sentences glazed and desperate, albeit attempt failed to save his pregnant from girlfriend working. I’m not sure what Iexpected. was disappointed by how mundane girls the appeared not when ofpart me was excited to listen to stories, their another of part me clubs and visited sometimes they himatCopper The Plate. While and continue pushing dust down street. the money).the Iwould unfold my man’s poor the exhale wallet, sigh, women (and afewIalmost times convinced myself that Ididhave darkthe establishments that shows Live boasted Sex and beautiful my Payless Shoes. Occasionally, Iwished Ihad money the to enter and down St. Bourbon doing little more than adding mileage to one of my favorite things to watch and many nights up Iwalked bydoorways baiting sironesque strippers.whole The exchange was masses lullingdrunken center inthe of street the or lured to dark for him.We made our way up toSt. Bourbon to push through the shrugged. inabstractions Iwasspeak when buzzing from alcohol. Tony tobeginning dizzyme anyways.” Ihad astrange predilection to “You’d crazynot be to.” party. Charlie, rattling acocktail shaker, at winked me as ifto say, turned to me and and asked ifwe catch should try up to Deon the restaurant waitress about her experiences. to families from places like Iowa City or a Lincoln interview details of tragedy. the sensory in the More than once, Ilistened wanted to disasterfrom email friends tales ninth the ward, or revel wanted to know what They flood. the it like to survive had been interest most tourists showed New inthe Orleans Everyone locals. argued that were they only insensitive in proportion to vampiricthe current address. If Tony’s stories insensitive, seemed it could be clothesthe inhis he closet, hadn’t lost actually anything except a home, he that realized aside from amoldy stench permeating hurricanethe and subsequent When flooding. he was able to return that visiting he hadbeen extended actually family inDetroit during second week of frequenting Plate, Copper the Tony confided in me Tony some knew of girls the that worked at different the We our closed tabs, and Charlie made us promise to say hi “Whatever,” Isaid. “Let’s leave. This spinning madness is After anotherrushbar (another convention’s arrival), Tony Of course none of it Onaslow was true. night during my sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 107 I guaranteed Tony that Deon’s party would be at the Paradise the Paradise be party at would Deon’s that Tony I guaranteed As we walked, Tony continued to tell me stories about the about stories me tell to continued walked, Tony we As We continued down the street passing musical bar after bar. bar. after bar musical passing the street down continued We At the corner of Bourbon and Toulouse, I pulled Tony aside aside pulled I Tony Toulouse, Bourbon and of the corner At you in. cooked Do are “Theythose things re-use water the did and man black the shrugged. stout I paid and I said “Eh,” bartender he used to work with at Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop, and and Shop, Blacksmith Lafitte’s at with used he work bartender to Disco, a flashy, techno haunt replete with misters and lasers, but but lasers, and misters with replete haunt techno a flashy, Disco, in he Exile, knew because all Lafitte’s Café start at to wanted Tony a Howard, to me introduced Tony inside Once the bartenders. of history. He was another stitch in the tapestry. I think this might in the tapestry. stitch another was He history. around. a writer have to so was he excited been why have would point to a courtyard I could hardly see through the opening see the opening through hardly I could a courtyard to point would paid he where was that me tell would he and in the wooden gate, living of a the Quarter’s he was part Tony, For job. blow first his for doorways had been frequented by pirates, which houses usedbe which houses to pirates, by doorways been had frequented Catholicism how about me tell would He slaves. runaway for safe he Then owned city. the Spanish businesses when the the affected I didn’t find common among most New Orleans natives that I met. I that natives New Orleans most among common find I didn’t to seeable he was as if was It different. something was it Tony For which me tell would He once. history at of all points the Quarter at different places in the Quarter that we passed. He had grown up in had He grown we passed. places in the Quarter that different that the Quarter in a way about enthusiastic was and Orleans New these bars and was thrilled that so many people were drinking and drinking and were people thrilled was sothese and many bars that a single for dollars four I Then paid night. a Wednesday on dancing bar. that to decided return to never and Light Bud of bottle the old people ate this up. They loved coming to these places and and to places these coming They loved this up. ate people the old Jackson’s Michael or covers Nash and Stills, Crosby, to along singing of the one I walked into New Orleans in night first On my hits. For a city so steeped in Jazz history most of the music coming coming the music of history most so steeped a city in Jazz For but me, annoyed It bands. cover 40’s Top from was these bars from a brown-toothed smile. A moment after taking my hot dog I was dog I was hot my taking after A moment smile. a brown-toothed up throwing someone of the sound by the vendor distracted from of Bourbon. off just in the gutter nicer if the vendor was either fully-bearded or clean-shaven. In In clean-shaven. fully-bearded or either was nicer if the vendor decided in between, had if he as somewhere was case, he this man’s me offered He patches. giant missed entire and a beard shave to that I felt bad disgusting him. bad disgusting I felt that been have experience dining would whole my that admit to have so that I could stop at a Lucky Dog cart. a Lucky at stop I could so that exasperation this so with said much is?” He that disgusting how get sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 108 ends of triangular the bar, half-slumped over arocks His glass. eyes more expected businessthey during Jazz the Festival. about talking started highs and the they lows of How season. the that color. completely white and Icouldn’t tell ifit had greyed or ifhe dyed it almost plastically smoothskinand bright green eyes.His hair was thought was, “this is asouthern gentleman.” The older man had crossed sipping some blue through drink two tiny straws. My first feet, made his way over to atable where alone man sat with his legs from his barstool. He steadiedhimself, and, comfortable on his something,”tendrils from is his face. “This said he and stood up Enrique was gay. werethey acouple, but Ithought to whether wasdecide now trying to other than himwas afellow hippy named Lacy. Ihad assumed sittingtattooed friends with him,but only the person Ievertalked of gossip or information. There wouldalways be a few pierced and would like post ahipster pressboard and collecting distributing bits one of coffee the shopswhere, when he wasn’t playing hisviolin, he entailed.actually considering our setting Iwas alittle as to confused what “hustling” What are you up to?” onhad awhite everseen person. afternoon eitherBourbon on Royal.or theHe had nappiest dreads I age. Enrique was astreet musician played who his violin every Decatur St., one vegan of local hipsters the roughly around my said, “What up, Ihad met Buddy?” Enrique hanging when out on heavy with alcohol, and Iwasn’t sure Iwashe who when he knew hadhe who approached evenrecognized him).His eyeswere his eyesand turned to me (technically smiling with before asmile to avoid touching his banana-thick Enrique dreadlocks. opened barstool. over Iwalked to himand patted himon his back careful were but closed, he maintained his upright sitting position on the “Don, show my paw. the friend Show it to him,” Enrique said He thought of something and brushed two thickdreadlock “Nothing Iwould good,” call Isaid. “Write any he stories?” asked good me. “Where’s Iasked. Typically, Lacy?” Iwould find Enrique at notI decided to inquire. “Hustling .always hustling.” He stupidly smiled at me, and “Not much, Enrique. Trying to find a roving party.birthday It was that then Inoticed Enrique sitting down at one of the sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 109 When I told Tony that Enrique and I were running over to to running over I were and Enrique that Tony I told When “You have to see this,” said Enrique. “You want to write about about write to want “You Enrique. said see to this,” have “You talking about were Howard and Tony the bar Back at “Perfect,” said Enrique with a hand clap. “Let’s go.” “Let’s clap. a hand with Enrique said “Perfect,” it check I can sure see? to supposed I’m I’m it is what “Wait, to chuckled and Donald said the present,” time like “No “That’s ok. I can see it another time. Everyone….” I had I Everyone….” time. another it ok. I seecan “That’s said. Donald Dumaine,” on away half a block than less “I’m “Yeah, this is Gabe,” said Enrique gesturing between us. gesturing Enrique said this Gabe,” is “Yeah, I don’t sorry. “I’m and said, at Enrique smiledDonald softly The man turned to me slowly with a placid smile and held held and placidsmile a with slowly me turnedto man The dried like felt It weakly. hand his shook and I said “Gabe,” Tony said scowling over his shoulder in their direction. shoulder his over scowling said Tony patrons stumbling down the street sooner than needed. sooner than the street down stumbling patrons weird,” is “That guy groaned. see to Tony place something, Donald’s these bartenders learned instinctually. The slower the conversation conversation the slower The these learned instinctually. bartenders in spent time the patron the more theywas a patron, with had sending risked conversation Direct tipping. drinkingthe bar and of communicating. If you really wanted to find out what one of one what out find to wanted really you If communicating. of entirely something about ask to had you to, up was or them thought that advantage economic an was conversation Indirect mundane. conversation was less about Howard and the woman and more more and the woman and Howard about less was conversation had he had been been, what Howard how out finding Tony about way oblique an was conversation I met, the bartenders For doing. a woman that Howard had been seeing, two professional been had seeing, professional two Howard that a woman I the sensedtheir flexing talents. that hardly conversationalists himself. it.” is This Orleans? New out some other time,” I said. time,” other some out “It’s really no trouble.” no really “It’s gestured around the bar, and I think I wanted to say something something say to I think I wanted and the bar, around gestured everyone else almost everyone in the Quarter runs into how about throat. died in my the sentence but daily, have it with me. If you want, we can walk over to my place, and I and place, my to walk can over we want, you If me. with it have you.” to it show can “Gabe, Don. Gabe is a writer. You should show him your paw.” him your show should You a writer. Gabe is Don. “Gabe, are?” leaves. made me think of a gorilla trying to annoy a flamingo. a flamingo. trying a gorilla thinkme made of annoy to you and Donald, am “I it. kiss if I should as almost hand his out to the man. The way Enrique was drunkenly pestering the man man drunkenly was the Enrique pestering way The the man. to sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 110 disconcerted me. I felt reassured that I wasn’t about tomurdered. be it. Their familiaritywithDonald simultaneously comforted and Howard chopped up syllablesof the word the eccentric as he said but not wanting to disappoint my host Isaid, “I’ve never seen A slight raise of Donald’s eyebrow was only the of sign disapproval. over to open an drinks the toy old Enrique metallic was trying car. couch. Ideclined and sat next to Enrique. When Donald brought waved it at and us. Enrique smiled took aseat on an old yellow toyear-old afifty refrigerator and removed a bottle gin. of He advertisements, and long logoDonald extinct figurines. went over same:the antique lunch boxes, aphonograph, poster metallic convenient for me that Enrique went first. but Donald waited for without us doorway inthe blinking. It was overturning fire ametal truck. The raucous made throat my jump, directly to home’s the entrance, tipping over little statues and repeatswho same the combination of steps daily. Enrique plowed Santa Clauses and various-sized Trolls of with grace the someone collector. way.” Please,this dark.the littered with many more that objects were difficult to distinguish in toy cars on were lip the posed of fountain the and ground the was cocktaildressed inaglittery dress and afeathered headband. Afew mannequinwas amale actually drenched inMardi and Gras beads to recognize that figure the occupying one thecanvas of lawn chairs centerin the of courtyard. the In dimlight, the it took me aminute there was aplastic surfer floatingthe in Victorian fountain directly bordello. Apink flamingo been stuck had theto dirt in my side and burning above space. the Ifelt like Ihad entered store’s aparty appallingly campy courtyard that glowed red from asingle bulb painted lollipop blue. When he letus in,we found ourselves inan distance of Lafitte’s. He stoppedfront in thatof adoor was curb.the was Theshort;Donald walk livedwithinthrowing door, and Istepped when out, street inthe Enrique kicking stood propositionedBeing felt still like it was on table. the I had been in houses filled withbefore,kitsch inhousesknickknacks filled I had been “What Donald said to doyou me. think?” frontThe room the of housepacked was with more of Donald weaved his way through teatrays the and mini “You have will to forgive me,” said Donald. “I am abit of a Enrique and Donald waited for me just outside front the Howard laughed and said, then “Eccentric more than weird.” sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 111 “And all of the kids pillaging old houses,” said Enrique with a with Enrique said houses,” old the all kids pillaging of “And come didn’t that anything for paid never “I frowned, Donald Enrique broke the spell that Donald’s objects cast over me me over objects cast Donald’s the spell that broke Enrique the building enjoying clearly wide, went mouth Donald’s Donald shrugged, “I could never part with anything that was was that part anything never with could shrugged, “I Donald questioned slightly appealed I me to though even notion The Donald smiled at Enrique like a proud father. “Enrique “Enrique father. a proud like Enrique smiledDonald at deals“Donald of all head. his flapping Enrique said true,” “It’s Donald smiled into his drink and then lightly shook the glass shook then lightly drink his and smiledDonald into has “Donald said, drink his and from a gulp took Enrique directly to me through its owner.” His argument seemed dubious seemed dubious argument His owner.” its through me to directly laugh. And, two, suddenly people needed money to start their lives over over start their lives to needed people money suddenly two, And, than more did little part willing objects that to with were and in theircollect closets.” mold Katrina offered me the greatest windfall of all—two great changes changes of all—two windfallgreat me the greatest offered Katrina everything I possessed one, that became occurred.in this For city others. from pieces comparable the sea as stole valuable extremely shorted him, but that really is a matter of opinion and while thisand opinion of a matter is really that but him, shorted because I have only is it me, to incalculable be value of may item anything If I made. that the connections making a lifetime spent months ago, I came across something extraordinary. A young A young extraordinary. something across I came ago, months to money for heirloom a family trading me, to referred was boy I say might . . . some this item for him well I paid family. his save collection has a gem. Has at least one item that crowns the rest the rest crowns that item one least at Has a gem. collection has which the without will, that if you the collection, a keystone of and several different, no is Mine collapse. collection might entire suspense that Enrique added. He began, “Every great collection, great began, “Every He added. Enrique that suspense . . . every go you great in the world where matter doesn’t it wasn’t sharing. He was too quick to show his teeth his smiled. when he show to too was quick He sharing. wasn’t on.” Come it. him “Show said, and want to make sure they stay here.” they stay sure make to want he smile his behind that was something altruism. There Donald’s He’s rejected rich collectors from all over the world.” all over from rejected rich collectors He’s just I home. our to belong These treasures the city. leave to going flatters me.” flatters the Quarter. businesses all throughout and restaurants to this stuff more classic stuff than anyone else in New Orleans. He’s made a made He’s New Orleans. else in anyone than stuff classic more try everything the flood.” to from save could he point and as if he were savoring its smell. its savoring were if he as anything like this.” like anything sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 112 popped itpopped into With case. the was open, but atwistcase the I all chestnut to his case side. He key from took asmall hisand pocket and unverifiable. Enrique shook his head to himself and chuckled. Within aweek my bagswere packed and Ihad moved on. Icaught city, people. those There was nothing Icould do to them. reach mute. This inexplicablebetween me the essenceand erected walls about it few days in the following), it was that thing that me struck Enriqueboth and Donald (and of spoke who all other the locals was that Icouldn’t grasp, thing the that was capable of transfixing Somethingthem. inthat strange claw eluded me, and whatever it people that would always prohibit me from understanding truly claw, Ihadn’t that realized there was something intrinsic to these Quarter, the to specific but up untilthe moment of staring the at in New Orleans and had embraced aculture that Ithought was to inhabit delta.” this sixteenth century. Thelast remnant peoplethatof an extinct used land. It is alupin claw, that is, awerewolf’s hand probably from the Itperiods. is something that comes from natives original the of this hold inyour hands is one the thing that transcends of all those Spanish and French before colonial periods that. But what you I could from and jazz the Dixieera,and evensouvenirs from the remnants of New Orleans pop culture. Ihave amassed everything made his brow relax. “In room this is single largest the of collection thererealized was nothing to say. with asteady, expression. solemn to Istarted say something, but some elaborate prank, and looked then at Donald stared who at me it. to Ilooked atfigure Enrique trying outparticipating ifIwas in whatidea it was, but it appeared delicate and Iwas hesitant to touch room, worth nothing.” “is Without things the Iknow, of all this,” he gestured around the Ihavebecause found away to store of all my value inmy mind. valueless without right the connections. Ihave nothing to fear, least own asafe. The reason is simple. All of my pieces are entirely locked inasafety deposit box,” Donald continued. “Why Idon’t at stared dumbly at contents. the was green the feltcould see padding.When he handed it to me, I I had nothing to say. Ihad traveled tosomething find unique “You don’t know what that is, doyou?” said Donald. This I was staring at black ashrunken claw-like hand. Ihad no “I suppose you wonder why Idon’t keep something like this audiblyDonald exhaled and reached then over to apolished sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 113 different things were asked of me. But these were things I could I could things were these But me. of asked were things different again. a sentence write to learn how time to a long me took It give. a bus heading away from the river and settled in New York where where York settled in New and the river from away heading a bus sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 114 just forget about all him, and no investigation would made. be wouldn’t he when didn’t missed be come back. Maybe would they from his mundane life was worth risk of the committing acrime. considered immoral by most. But considered Lazarus that escaping life. Time travel was expensive, and was not only but illegal, was buzz lights day. of all electric breakfast, had anlunch, artificial and workedthe under unnatural too-silent lab basement inthe of building. the No one paid himmuch attention, he because was trapped all- inthe weasel face, was which rather He pale. hadindecisive aweak, chin. Perhaps he would spot adeer,the afish or water. in swim see rivers, beside could and walk smell evergreens the and wildflowers. formed future the society. He yearned for open spaceswhere he than computer-manipulated the pipette matrix currently which where people were naturally born and Mother Nature rather ruled, done by aboring and tedious man. were –these traitslooks all he manipulated. It was tedious work, more strength body there –an athletic build vs.movie star good contained traits the that were requested. intelligence Extra here, he was responsible for making sure that developing the embryos nothingvirtually inhis life. As alab technician at Inc., LifeArts, effect. – people shouldn’t mightwho born be It born. be was butterfly the present.the could change, Leaders platforms political could switch change one hundred year ago could create seriousramifications for creating seriousproblems for current the frame. time Alittle justice, escaped criminals or someone went back to alter past, the He planned on leaving during atwo-week vacation. Perhaps he It would cost $400,000,and carefully he saving had been For years plotting he had been an from escape his mundane His artificial. whole life seemed He food ate for artificial was ashortLazarus man, with bulbous and glasses a peculiar He often dreamed of goingback to a more romantic age, TempleLazarus was ashy man had who accomplished In travel 2135,time into past the was outlawed. Too often The Trespasser by Steven A.Dame sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 115 surface.” were used on the “The machine was situated hundred five because it would emit because it would harmful radiation if it privacy sake, and also privacy sake, meters underground for for underground meters There were flashing lights, and a dull, throbbing noise in dull, throbbing and a lights, flashing were There of a limbs spreading field the in a grassy beneath awoke He The machine was situated five hundred meters underground underground meters hundred five situated was machine The Lazarus gave the man – who insisted on remaining nameless nameless remaining on – who insisted the man Lazarus gave the at down looked He Lazarus tightly. the briefcase held On the first day of his vacation he went to bright- the tall, went he vacation of his day On the first He would travel back to 2036. 2036. to back travel would He tall oak tree. The sun filtered through the open spaces in the leaves, open spaces inthe the leaves, through tallsun filtered oak The tree. Lazarus’ head. He felt nauseous, and soon became unconscious. and nauseous, felt He head. Lazarus’ in the seat and strapped himself in. The smiling man set man the smiling in. The himself strapped and in the seat he Then on. the time turned machine and the time, and destination closed behind the him. door and a lead in hid himself chamber for privacy sake, and also because it would emit harmful radiation harmful radiation emit also would because and it privacy sake, for sat the chamber, Lazarus the used surface. entered on were if it Brazilian’s shiny, black polished shoes. He was very excited, but but very was excited, shoes. He polished black shiny, Brazilian’s hands his and ached, stomach His time. the same at frightened trembled. gave him a briefcase containing identification papers for 2036, and and 2036, for papers identification containing him a briefcase gave life. his of time period the rest that last to from money enough spoke optimistically about the service about provide. optimistically could he spoke turn in man The the in cash. $400,000 containing – a briefcase eyed Brazilian man with whom he had made arrangements for the for arrangements made had he whom with man eyed Brazilian and always well-trimmed had a smart, man beard, The time travel. Forests were being planted. Farmlands were increasing. Ways had had Ways increasing. were Farmlands being planted. were Forests that chemicals other pesticides or food raise without to been found the environment. damaged of peacetime. It was also was a time when all peacetime. It of had fuels in preserving the Earth. united Petroleum were people being used. energy were of forms non-polluting so other depleted, city zoos.city would begin a years periodof 25 There areas where man had not not had man where areas they sometimes intruded – or inner costly at display on were wildlife. These wildlife. delightful things in been mostly had eradicated wildlife in extreme 2135, except In the evenings in his windowless windowless in his the evenings In books look at would he apartment and birds of pictures had that this amount for the past five years. years. five the past for this amount sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 116 gentle, splashing noise. He bent down to pick asunflower,which his briefcase, brushed himself off, and made his way towardthe and he felt its warmth on his face. uniformed officer came besidehim. and stood a breakfast of and eggs bacon and –real eggs bacon! a –when trees,the creating asoft orange thathue spread acrossthe sky. but just He afew people walking. watched as sun the amidst sank street outside, which was surprisingly silent. There were no vehicles, his money without question. spent night, the that he was glad gray-haired the matron accepted paradise. Although he got strange at looks innwhere small the he he walked,and felt akinship to new, this beautifulland. if it were seldom traveled. He would sometimes kickclumps the as – that sometimes clumps of of grass middle grewinthe road, the as reasoned –he would buy clothes new at his earliest convenience. – might appear strange to people the of age. this No matter, he and his manner of dress –no cotton, no naturalwhatever fibers or clod kick arock. adirt He how was thinking his synthetic shoes down road the direction inthe of Occasionally sign. he the would said,which “Gainesburg 2kilometers.” He casually to started walk lightheaded. He clutched railing the tighter. Free of that future! awful on his face. as it dashed against rocks manner. inalazy There was acool breeze bridge. He over peered side, the enjoying rustlingwater the below just from apipe or container! forth. knelt down and put his hand water, cool inthe swishing it back and ofwood, evergreens and roses. When wild he found brook the he were numerous grass, and it his fingers. tall twirled inthe between “Yes, Sir,” answered nervously. Lazarus “I everything –I trust “You stayed here at innlast the night, asked sheriff. the Sir?” In morning the he was sitting dining inthe room eating Through hiswindow secondthe on floor, he watched the It was awonderful plan, leaving his hated life to come to this foundLazarus it strange and slightly primitive way –inafun road crossedA dirt stream the at bridge. the He saw asign burstAn energy from inside shouted, himwhich He followed stream the until it came to an old wooden There was adeep, pungentthat smell emanatedthrough the Thererippling was a sound of a brook nearby. He picked up Real water! He thought excitedly. His hearT beat faster, and he was alittle I’ve touched real water, not I’m free! sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 117 During the day he would sit at the fountain in the square, in the square, the fountain at sit would he During the day Lazarus was considered by the other tenants in his apartment apartment in his tenants the other by Lazarus considered was “You will be given counseling,” the judge said, “and you will you “and said, the judge will counseling,” be given “You Lazarus in a windowless sat onward, point that So from Worse, a ten-year probation was also added to his sentence also was sentence his added to probation a ten-year Worse, “As you should well know, everyone trespasses who ventures who everyone ventures trespasses know, well should you “As the violating $2,000 for charged and Lazarus arrested was “Everything except you were seen coming from the forest. the forest. from seen coming were you except “Everything I wa- “N-No, inside him. flip-flopped stomach Lazarus’ He would study the pictures of deer, elk or bears in the books elk or he deer, of the pictures study would He where a few petunias sweltered in the sun, surrounded by signs signs by surrounded in the sun, sweltered petunias a few where violators.” for imposed $10,000 fine pick. to “Unlawful said, that borrowed from the library or purchased at bookstores. Sometimes Sometimes bookstores. at purchased the library or from borrowed the heavy of the weight walked he because as of a little stumbled he books. building as an oddity. He was the strange man who always carried who always man the strange was He oddity. an as building had he that plants wildlife and birds, booksarmloads about of people of his own time, he had not accomplished his chief desire desire chief his accomplished not had he time, own his of people its enjoying and seeing it, of hands, in his nature holding of – that fragrances. leaving the noisy city. He was not able to explore the forests and and the forests explore to able not was He city. the noisy leaving years. so many for longingly waited had which he for wild lands the of the coldness and escaped job, had dismal his he Although apartment in the heart of an “urban jungle.” He was monitored monitored was He jungle.” “urban an in the heart of apartment him from a tag prevent imbedded skin, to in his by electronically live in the city like everyone else. You will not be allowed to violate violate to be will allowed not everyone You like else. in the city live and the beauty recover to made whileis being this effort the L.P.A. land.” this great usefulness of – more, the judge said, for his protection than the protection of the of the protection than protection his for said, the judge – more, community. appointed attorney was able to argue that he was mentally defective. defective. mentally was he that argue to able was attorney appointed trial. the short during head in shame his hung He Land Protection Act. His fine would have been $10,000, but he but been $10,000, have would fine His Act. Land Protection court- – his strangeness his leniency to because – due granted was into any forest or wild area now. How else will our Mother Nature, Nature, else will Mother our How now. wild area or forest any into itself?” rejuvenate theyas to call be able it, wasn’t aware of such a thing. Have I – have I done – have I done I done – have I done I – have a thing. Have such of aware wasn’t look the to afraid plate, his at down stared He wrong?” something inthe face. officer Aren’t you aware of the Land Protection Act of 2034?” of Act the Land Protection of aware you Aren’t is in order?” is sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 118 grass by hundreds. the fragrances, wondering how might they appear decorated ifthey the Sometimes at he gazed pictures of wildflowers, dreaming their of orcarried, leaf the patterns trace of various the trees with his finger. pictures represented. yet wasbooks, never allowed to touch, or see, hear life the that the little man, an unimportant man spent who his days examining hisother souls and time, grieved made himmiserable. He was a And that, he thought, was greatest the form of unhappiness. But coldness the and aloneness the of place, new this this sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 119 Tanzania Where watch We in wait.” where the Mara River Mara River “Crossing the “Crossing crocodiles lay crocodiles They sway side to side The monkeys are calling monkey swings to the next A wait not moving for the next We second one appears, and they chase A Waterhole Africa, the by Diane Lockard Diane by When we arrived in Nairobi on our Lake Nakuru Lodge was one babies saunter by Later we watch two elephants with in the trees, something The cacophony of sounds swell… Up and birds squawking drift across the Sounds of wildlife goes to the a solitary wildebeest appears and watch as We feathers.” Perched on the rocks at the edge of the lake. Other birds join them, flamingos for which it is famous. “As far as you can see are flamingos, all shoulder to shoulder or feathers to of our favorite stops with densely populated animals and a view of the much-anticipated trip to cosmopolitan city was a jumping off point for returning to nature and wildlife. as they walk towards the trees. glimpse. the waterhole. It is hard for swinging their trunks as they go to like their mothers. baby elephants to learn how to drink while they put their mouths in the water. each through the intertwined treetops. and the birds can be heard in the distance. each other, arrival. while the hungry lions wait for their moves. I thought it was a leopard. tree and he sits and waits. looking lay in wait. First the strange River where the crocodiles zebras. Nature has a life and wildebeest followed by gazelles and and hyenas are on their trail death cycle, and the predators - jackals Can experience. which is an unforgettable August or September two million animals moving through you picture nearly the Mara a trail of dust behind them. Crossing and Kenya? Leaving around and walks back to the trees. waterhole. He turns Mara for the Great Migration. In the Masai is the rest? It is time to arrive in the migration is tentatively expected National Reserve, “No trees on the other side. Caw – caw… waterhole with sparse one in sight.” sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 120 Sopa HoteltohopefullyawaittheGreatMigration. lights comeoninourLodge,andtheysettleforthenight. flying andwalking,swimming–Perpetualmotionsound. Mal Forest. the people. of wildebeest. wonderful evenafterwemissedit,asitisn’t justaboutalarge herd “Kwaheri” –GoodbyeinSwahili How manymigrationsareleft? Update: Itisaboutthewildebeestsandotheranimalsplus Last stopwasMasaiMasaReservewherewestayedatMara The MaraRiverisdryingupfromthedefoliationof Without water, thereisn’t aGreatMigration. The tripwas The sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 121 by Margie Gilmore Margie by No More Belts More No Her mom said, “Just as long as you don’t bring no more belts belts more no bring don’t you as long as “Just said, mom Her “I thought snakes were mean and liked to bite and kill and people. bite liked to and mean were snakes thought “I mean.” all are snakes “Not her, told Mom out come slowly it and saw kitchen the They walked into Ruth still had no idea what was going on. She asked her her asked She on. going was still idea no what had Ruth in her told mom her a snake” was sweetheart, it a belt not “It’s Ruth looked at her mom in shock because she had no idea no had because she in shock mom her at looked Ruth Ruth used to like to wake up early to get a good start on her her a good get start on to early up wake to used like to Ruth whatever chasing hours for the field run around would She anything and everything that moved; remembering what it was like like was it what remembering everything moved; and that anything beto a kid again. her mom if she could go back outside. back go could if she mom her watched She play. go let her and a kiss her Gave you.” with home chasing the field, through ran daughter her as the window out from behind the refrigerator and it then slither out the door the door out then slither it and behind the refrigerator from asked She gone. was belt her that disappointed was Ruth quickly. This one didn’t bite or try to bite kill mommy.” me didn’t one This a calm voice so Ruth would not panic. She was really nervous about nervous about really was She panic. not would so Ruth a calm voice threw it whenshe went see it where did not she for was, it where down. the floor, grabbed Ruth and ran out of the room. room. of the out ran and Ruth grabbed the floor, that?” like belt my throw did you “Why mom, what was wrong. Her mom told her not to move. She reached for for reached She move. to not her told mom Her wrong. was what belt. colorful a pretty was thought she what on had Ruth waist. her on threw it She belt. her untied and her around reached mom Her her mom the dragonfly she had caught. Her mom screamed and and screamed mom Her had caught. she the dragonfly mom her holding. was she sandwiches of the tray dropped she saw move. She would catch all kinds of different things then things different all of kinds catch would She move. saw she show to walked in the house she day One mom. her them to show day. She would get out of bed; go have breakfast, then get ready to to ready then get breakfast, bed; have of go out get would She day. and see what to around liked She run field. in the empty play go find. insectsand could she butterflies sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 122 front yard early in the spring. They spent alot time,of effort, and reward!tasty I love fresh to them use from garden the That’s cooking. when a well, there is always next year! healthy and productive, and Iwonder what I’ve done wrong. Oh tomatoes, Imight other add. tomato Isee plants ingardens that are about three or four tomatoes from three plants. all Lovely are colorful. very I’m not sure why jalapenos the have all turned bright red, but they Ihaveseason luck had and peppers good with bell the jalapenos. to grow. It’s to fun play during dirt process inthe this though! This bit of work to prepare and plant vegetables the and herbs Iattempt timethe now.all gifts brings me little, furry discovered area miceinthe and is quite at good catching he them, of is them worth watching. It’s quite comical He too! has recently and other bugs. He’s not with successful birds the so but his pursuit to watch himleap around going while aftergrasshoppers, moths eat seed. the businesstheir aimlessly. so It’s quite similar to watching birds the almostthem, like looking at an aquarium, fish the seeing go about birds discover on feed the driveway. the It’s relaxing also to watch morning. cigarettes. alone to It be quiet inthe of peaceful the is very sit on my porch and coffee smokingwhile drink my morning littlepeople, and traffic, with very calm, or noise around me. I pain rear inthe door. Ienjoy. activities several There someare also Iconsider a major My wife and daughter planted flower the gardenthe in The herbs (oregano,basil, cilantro and chives) are flourishing. Unfortunately, my tomatoes are not doing well. I’ve managed The gardenfun is and rewarding inadifferent way. takes a It My cat Spliff provides alot of amusementthe yard in Ilove enjoyI also spreading birdseed and watching various the I like going out early before sun the is blazing, and it is quiet Summertime means inmy time yard and garden. There are In theYard by Scott Aldrich sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 123 This is something I will do year after year, if possible. It can It if possible. year, after I willyear is do This something All in all, these activities have been a great way to relax. relax. to way beenAll a great in all, these activities have I have now become the caretaker of the flowers. I somehow I somehow the flowers. of the become caretaker now I have be time consuming but the small harvest, beautiful colors, and the and the small harvest, beautiful colors, but be time consuming end. season’s at all it worth it all make herbs the of fresh aroma good! is time life a short for Yeah, troubles. The rewards have been numerous and therapeutic. It’s It’s and therapeutic. numerous been have rewards The troubles. the harvest. enjoy and the plants fun observe to nurture the growth, I’m sure I will survive. sure I’m my daily of some forget and in get lost thought to me They allow feel responsible to weed, feed, water and manage them even though them even though manage and water feed, weed, to responsible feel Soof flower thethe not. gift or planted were if any care I didn’t Although door. been had the in rear a pain for) (unasked garden lost interest in them after awhile despite their hard work in the work hard their awhiledespite in them after interest lost beginning. money on the variety of flowers they chose. For some reason, reason, they some For chose. they flowers the of variety on money sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 124 with memory’s sight. and his companions and Orion view my close then eyes window frame, white-paintedthe ofthrough portal the enjoy vision the of stars I breathe deeply, to release its pungency. my fingers’ crush not does which need of sweet basil and lavender, fragrancesthe of rose woven of with chirps the crickets, --wraps me inacomforter through mywindow, lifted Night air flows Essence Gifted Essence by Annie Stakland sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 125 This is why I open my window. open I is This why of body, heart and mind. heart and body, of while tucking itself while tucking areas in the innermost display purity let Thesemoments of God’s small creatures God’s of lullaby. my becomes The cadence cadence The

sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 126 safer. yelling at quite. us. be Sshh Its Then mom yell will dad at for Mom says Happy winter. go home. Lets driver cant he yells so at think them. childrenthe are excited so the can’t what’s see of ahead them The snowthickthe driversso is and into eachother. Thecars slde intothe ditch and make footing the treacherous. car.hide the The roads are slick howling winds and snow drifts to shewhen delivers. First there’ll be Mother nature doesn’t always kind be as long as its mountains. inthe sourpussesthe say like snow they infarmng country especially Noone likes adrouht We soft the rain all need canget.we weathermanthe said we’d get 14Inches. softly snowflakes falling Lovely WinterLovely by Shirley Fifer sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 127 by Steven A. Dame Steven by The Stars of Heaven of Stars The I woke up on the couch at four A.M. with a thin blanket, a thin A.M. with blanket, four at the couch on up I woke egg, with a cracked of was One paintings. her I examined I remember her wine glass on the railing and her hand hand her and the railing glass wine on her I remember the counting finished Melinda and then, shattered The glass The water tower at Trolley Square is decorated with lights, lights, with is decorated Trolley Square at tower water The She showed me her paintings, mostly urban scenes, but with with scenes, urban but mostly paintings, her me showed She I met Melinda in high school. She was very was in high She school. good with Melinda I met unhealthy pale-skinned girl, and a wispy was Melinda I do stage hypnosis, in auditoriums. The publicity introduces introduces publicity The in auditoriums. hypnosis, I do stage a man struggling to emerge. She had a collection of Dali prints. I Dali a collection prints. of had She struggling emerge. a man to shivering. The two sat across the room, on the floor, with arms with arms on floor, the room, the across sat two The shivering. awake. wide were They entwined. curling back over his ears. his over back curling drinks: “1, 2, 3 . . .” clasping the stem, but I remember no face. Her voice was a low, a low, was voice Her face. no I remember but the stem, clasping Frank named man a and opened, door The balcony hum. steady redhair long smiling, his He was openshirt. an and stood in cutoffs Charleston Apartments, especially with a warm summer breeze. breeze. especially summer a warm with Apartments, Charleston apartment. neighboring a of a from barbecue in wafted The scent Trolley Square in the distance. It was about ten o’clock. ten about was It in the distance. Square Trolley the nice from looked It motions. in circular illusively which move human hands and torsos in the shapes of buildings. Some of them of Some buildings. of in the shapes torsos and hands human the balcony to went We the climbed buildings. others and melted, watch me had She glasses clinked the beneath streetlight. and back in a careless manner. Still there was a fragile prettiness about about a fragile was Still there prettiness manner. in a careless back a glass-encased doll. of that like her, looking. If she lost another ten pounds I would consider her her consider I would pounds ten another lost she looking. If mid- her to down fell and blond dishwater was hair Her anorexic. watercolors in art class. That’s what she became, an artist. I received received artist. I an she became, what That’s in art class. watercolors in stop to me invited She Lake Salt City. from in May, postcard her Reno. to the way on bus stops. I do a couple of nights in one town, then move on to the to on then move town, in one nights of I do a couple stops. bus next. me for a month with outrageous banners, like “Master Mystic the Mystic “Master like banners, outrageous with a month for me at Circus-type posters in the West.” Hypnotist “Greatest and Great,” sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 128 and beganto heat my faceuncomfortably, Frank had aquestion sleep. stepped onto balcony the and heard adogbark. Then I wentback to her coffeethe as man postersthe on plastered all over town. I proceeded to asecluded cafe about. Iknew clothingcasual of tourist. the the Ileft bright lights and district polyester mobs. Sixty-ish men with sixty-ish wives cheap, inthe The usual crowdsNevada mingled the sidewalk—sporadic, on Revelations. he said, and there we were again. Icouldn’t get his mind back on him and got himto hospital. the “I might have of died starvation,” for three days. Finallyapoliceman through walking park the saw junkbad and lay comatose brush tangled inthe of park Central about New York or Chicago again. He had gotten hold of some it to me. and thumbing through his own to dog-eared explain edition, trying Dee’s Hamburger indowntown Grill once, Salt Lake sipping coffee named Sam,expert awayward would-be minister, sat with me at Gideons.” Revelations. Inever understood Revelations. ABible my hands, one of cheap those hardbound copies “Placed by the side, smiling. voices. Thetwo side them of stood by Iheard airport. in the nothing but with my Istood while baggage in my and palm bid me farewell hands. shattered,glass crumbling inmy Trolley Square glimmered. The portrait. My eyeswatered, and and showed me how to doaself- Frank took me to mirror the again, ,” he repeated. Iyawned. He went back to balcony the with Melinda. had alullaby quality to it. He, too, kept counting to three. “Relax. . about bathroom. the We stared into mirror the together. His voice A blond teenager with frail,dull me eyesrecognized above I went downstairs to casino the and ambled out to street. the It wasn’t long too before he was off on one those storiesof I woke up Eldorado inthe Hotel inReno holding aBible in She put plane the ticket Melinda on telephone. talked the In morning, the sun the when streamed through window the the mirrorthe together. counting to three.” lullaby quality to “We stared into it. He, too, kept His voice had a sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 129 I thought. You get a feeling here a feeling get You Just to see if they could do it. Just to see if they could put The The put could they if see to Just it. do could they if see to Just Why do you come here Rick here come you do Why do to so much see to So much things other about talk Let’s I because threw the They calledrestaurant to the the police A stream goes through that cemetery and we were on the on were cemetery we that and goes through A stream afraid? you Are Texas in training basic weeks two in I leave Rick Carmine was beside me. His hands clasped the poetry hands His beside CarmineRick was me. Baby, you’re looking at him. Now quit tapping your spoon your tapping quit him. Now at looking you’re Baby, like strangely, me at flooded Annie looked in. Memories The waitress delivered my steak and potatoes, and Annie, my Annie, and and steakpotatoes, my delivered waitress The console me with their wet tired eyes— tired their wet with me console in the corner and weeping—the evening crowd now a stiff pale now crowd evening weeping—the and in the corner Rick— and Doug ghosts, shoes—the two tennis bootsglaze and of best friends, two trying my to the crowd; amid me above towered the corner, weeping like some deranged fool while Carmine, and while fool and Carmine, deranged some like weeping the corner, 16 age the motorcycle on hit one Payne—the Doug boy another funeral his escapes me—crouched of the date 127, Friday, Route cups against the wall and overturned the table and crouched in crouched and the table overturned the wall and against cups little curved bridge, overlooking the water. curved overlooking little bridge, letters, but my eyes were swimming again. We were back in Ohio at at in Ohio back were We again. swimming eyes were my but letters, Cemetery. County the Lebanon nice meeting you. nice meeting drooling I tried the black, read to before. scribbled the had night he I was some kind of contortionist. I’m sorry I’m not feeling well well feeling not sorry I’m I’m contortionist. kind of some I was was it Yes, now. home, on Run alone. me best leave you’d perhaps against your coffee cup. That series of threes again. Yes, you can you Yes, again. of series threes That cup. coffee your against autograph. my have newfound friend, asked the usual questions: Can you hypnotize hypnotize Can you the usual questions: friend, asked newfound I if know I don’t stage? on hypnotized get Do really me? people stuff. believe all that against. against. trance! their into Hypnotist Great back—the counting to three, the incidents with the mirror. No No the mirror. with the incidents three, to back—the counting of me, both hypnotized time! Theyhad so lost I had much wonder to battle suggestions of slew a post-hypnotic me with left them, and myself to the restroom. While combing my hair, I felt myself myself I felt hair, my combing While therestroom. to myself the mirror from eyes my diverted I quickly a sleep. to succumbing all came It Frank! Darn that face. my on water cold splashed and joined her at her table, ordered a late dinner and then excused and dinner a late ordered table, her at her joined sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 130 the lives.the dissolving downward. Automobiles floated incircles,with sinking riverthe were frozen. portions Other held chunks of prior lives, jacket dripped inred. Weeach left other the on bridge. Parts of The night air exploded and his facewas charred—hiscamouflage was dying. us with its lights flashing. They were dimming now, the as battery never came. with hisshoving tightfisted hand. me wads ofThe poetry coffee guardsecurity sat on last the stool, reading anewspaper. overA pan boiled on stove, the and waitresses the quarreled. A in adark blue suit kept tying up phone the with long distance calls. school.a senior inhigh 2 A.M. wheel, and wandered winter inthe air toward an open restaurant at Wethecar left jacked up,withthe sparetirebeneath rightthefront motor again, and my knuckles were to getfrom bruised it trying off. hypnotistthe due to appear on Friday night, letme be. I fell asleep on counter, the but waitresses, the recognizing me as night Ileft my room and drank coffee for four hours the in lounge. that is Sacramento,” he said. restless night, two the weekends and discussed inReno. “And after I couldn’t go on. Instead, Iborrowed avalium, complaining of a restaurant of Eldorado the for breakfast. Ialmost told himthat We on stood river the bridge, water the lingering beneath us. ------We wandered on the street again, leaving the Mustang behind Rick was inarmy fatigues, with ablackenedjacket, flak The waitress the at Howard Johnson’srude.salesman A was Thatthewinter was when Iwasof ‘68,a junior andRick was carOur broke down inCincinnati. It was Mustang the starter ------I had one more day to recover before performance. the That The next morning,Clyde I met Miller, my manager,the in Said he was some kind of hypnotist— No officer I’mnew to the town Haven’t Iseen you before? Scared half us to death No Ihaven’t been taking anything have bouts of grand mal Fifty dollars fifty dollars for damages! I’ll beI’ll fine in my hotel room sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 131 I felt the first cold winter chill pass through me as I moved on moved as I me chill through pass winter cold the first I felt “Unlock the door. I want to see them,” I replied. see to them,” I want the door. “Unlock Shane.” in there, allowed aren’t “You the following with repeated, was the dream later, nights Two Rick’s above air autumn like the silent, was chamber The The orchestra was booming in brass notes the music my music the notes brass in was booming orchestra The the was he life behind—in real from came A custodian Down a corridor, away from the crowd, I found a gate. gate. a I found the crowd, from away a corridor, Down Years ago in fifth grade I dreamed of our classroom descending descending classroom our of dreamed I grade fifth in ago Years drunk You’re levels three theatre theDescending beneath small town The waitress at the Eldorado led me to my room. Later, she she room. Later, my to led me at the Eldorado waitress The humankind of enough seen I have lounge the in screaming were You Melinda me with stay Please Melinda not name’s My of me like the failing gray sky above me, vanishing into the horizon, the horizon, into vanishing me, above sky gray the failing like me of I was again, Once the I walked car. as to back me closed in upon alone. bring him back. him back. bring died Part Rick. had with me of Part the creek. above the bridge to that I had left here, and I tried to listen to that still small voice. But But still voice. smallto that I and triedto listen here, left I had that the amongst rasping the leaves even the echoes of not nothing, could I felt, that embitterment the harsh amid up twirling stones, gravestone. I wept before it once, the wind swirling the leaves in the leaves the swirling wind once, it before I wept gravestone. was something There stones. the granite among motions circular variation: the gate was open, but the orchestra was gone. gone. was the orchestra but open, was the gate variation: custodian of the school—and said, “You aren’t allowed in there.” in there.” allowed aren’t “You said, the school—and of custodian father played on Sundays. The newspaper covered his chest as chest his covered newspaper The Sundays. on played father “The Mahler’s, was It the couch. on back his on sprawled lay he Symphony.” Resurrection orchestra was playing. I couldn’t get the other kids away from the from kids away the other get I couldn’t playing. was orchestra watch. and come to machines candy Beyond this gate was a cavern. It was a tremendous cavern, and was was and cavern, a tremendous was It a cavern. was Beyond this gate an tallInside, as the baseball those as spotlights with at field. up lit had seen before. We reached the “Sub Three” level, and most of the most and level, Three” the “Sub reached We seenhad before. Theyheld machines. soda candy some and pop about kids clustered popcorn. out spilled that a machine bags beneath downward, each with a sign “Sub One,” “Sub Two,” like a movie I a movie like Two,” “Sub One,” a sign each with “Sub downward, reappeared, carrying a silver tray. carrying tray. a silver reappeared, sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 132 so goso yearn for it. Its earned isn’trespect given Just it take to heart part from deepest the and people burn for world the turns just stay true for do who those i guess iwont. for dont who those respect. that thing called expect Why dopeople always by Jonnathon Hardy Respect sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 133 ‘tis over‘tis in life! loved and not how or why they died. why or how not and who they were! Then… I don’t understand it! understand I don’t love lived for lived Judge Them Not! Them Judge Not! Them Judge Not! Them Judge Judge Them Not! Them Judge Not! Them Judge Not! Them Judge Judge Them Not! Them Judge Not! Them Judge ‘Tis why we don’t see it coming. see it we don’t why ‘Tis and they see only one way out! way they one see and only Why? by Elizabeth Ernstsen by But But Them in our lives together. our lives in Them Judge Them Not! Them Judge But But Remember what they what Remember Powering inside of us? us? of inside ‘Tis it not for God to judge and for us to love? to us for and God judge to for not ‘Tis it Cherish them! Let go of how they why. died and how Cherish them! Let of go Is long in coming – with others there is no warning. no is there others – with in coming long Is Embrace those precious, happy moments we shared with shared we moments happy those precious, Embrace Love the moments we had with them, embrace them and them, embrace with had we the moments Love Remember what they what Remember When such feelings and thoughts come upon them – upon come thoughts and feelings such When Suicide is an illness of its’ own, much like cancer: it like some with much own, its’ illness of an is Suicide When one feels so great shame and guilt when it is so is tremendous when it guilt and shame so great feels one When sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 134 Hate and Consequence Presume to know what feels god their That houseperfect cannot we buy--- The orphaned child cannotwe raise; There’ssomething wrong withthis. And outlaw how and we who love, We’ve had our fill, you the on Hill. Crush yourCrush narrow-minded view? In temples where we cannot pray The double bed cannotwe share; Does it shakeDoes your holy lifestyle, Claim inspiration from above The epithets we must endure: A body thatA body we cannot warm Affection cannotwe express; If we tell our love, The love darewe not speak;

If what we doinbedrooms To discrimination, legalize What it does mean to you? Concerns you much so all The hand cannotwe hold; Beside us, shivering,Beside cold; Those lipsThose cannotwe kiss; Deny its consummation. You’re out truly of touch Bigots brew hypocrisy, “Fairy! Faggot! Freak!” by J. Phillip Wilkes About our sexuality, “Forever,” sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 135 support. full full It isn’t at all cool at isn’t It Drive them to despair. them to Drive But prepare for a fight. for prepare But You have a lot of nerve of a lot have You Beyond what we deserve. we Beyondwhat Because of hate at school, at Because hate of What reason do you need do you reason What Your reasons fall short, far reasons Your And women who will lead, women And They need our Theyneed Don’t widen your slim sight. slim widen your Don’t We can’t believe that rhetoric. believe that can’t We Wake up! Show them you care. them you Show up! Wake Still, well-developed arguments well-developed Still, And they are good, and so alive. good, and theyAnd are Your children are the future men the future are children Your Coming down on youth like that. like youth on down Coming So keep on spouting hate, not love, not hate, spouting So on keep To love them just the way they are? the way them just love To Your words of hate are killing them. are hate of words Your They need esteem and hope and love. and hope and Theyneed esteem You claim we’re seeking specialrights we’re claim You Or words from one they love and trust and they love one from Or words When bright, young students kill themselves students young bright, When sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 136 of atroubled world any longer? reconciled? two be those Could aMan,to be and aWoman could who not stave offthe rancor it was there to protect from them each other.Boywho The refused longtoo raged at world the for injustices the dealt her son, maybe would crumble at first the sign of conflict? Ora whomother for far shed alight dark inthe places of pain and excess. priestess of passion, and calm understanding that could as always her Phoenixto yet arise again from ashes the of his former self. A words of calm. tears of knee, askinned gently fussing amid of kisses kindness and Irememberpeace. my mother’s gentle touch as she away wiped the to at look first the glance, yet it sense held awarm of comfort and light? It was not as Ihad as perceived painful it. It was difficult seasons past never relenting its hold on my or innocence youth. fears. Fears that had haunted like aghoul from me since childhood arduousbegan the process of freeing my mind from my perceived that had locked me cage inthis of fear beganto dissipate. Islowly outto wink and my beganto head clear. The fog of anticipation fell down. nothing to stop it. Ihad to simply find a place to sit downbefore I torrent of confusion, Iwas going Iknew to pass out but could do truth. In its place there was no anticipated pain, only white the light of sweetness of warm molasses as it beganto pull away from my skin. shoved one more at time lidas the it gave way. It felt like sticky the to my settle I tried and mind fresh?” for too pain the of and truth whitesearing light of Orwere truth? wounds the simply deep too into public without my emotional armor? Would Ihandle the coffin then stopped. I asked myself, “was I enoughwell to go out o who was armoro who the there to protect? Ashy boy weak who Even now at age the of 48,she there, was still waiting for How had Ilived for such along and time this never seen The way of nauseapassed before just I feltthe lights begin The worldbegan to spin theand becamenausea a roiling I shifted and prepared myself to lifethe lid of my emotional Emotional Armor by Barry Keslerby Barry sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 137 Perhaps it was there because I needed it and it would not be not would it because and I needed there it was it Perhaps of the cleansing like away washing the armor I was, here Yet

a gentle spring rain. Could I learn to live without it? It seemed as It it? without Could live I learn rain. to spring a gentle out! soon find I would though when it was no longer essential. longer no was when it Perhaps the armor had become a tomb because I allowed it. because I allowed a tomb become had the armor Perhaps sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 138 be morebe than you want. moretrust than you expect. embrace more than you shelter. root more than you cheer. imagine more than you create. share more than you earn. hope more than you wish. inspire more than you console. grow more than you harvest. nourish more than you feed. morebelieve than you preach. do more than you pray. morelearn than you teach. witness more than you see. say more than you speak. hear more than you listen. dream more than you sleep. find morethan youseek. by Meg Burke More sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 139 Love your your Love In layman’s terms, terms, layman’s In Take therefore no thought for for thought no therefore Take Witness by Christine Leeby when adhered to, eliminates the need for every the need for eliminates to, when adhered The law of forgiveness touches me most personally. As I most me personally. touches forgiveness of law The The great commandment found in Mark 12:31 Mark in found commandment The great If Jesus Christ had never lived, I would have no less less no have I would lived, Christ never had Jesus If world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our our love to us tells He When His. on but hinges, healing world’s itself. the love the command, with along gives, He enemies, a current seemed to pass, while into her heart sprang a love for this for a love heart sprang her seemed while pass, to into a current that so discovered And she overwhelmed almost her. than stranger the goodness that our on than anymore forgiveness our on not is it she breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me me him. Give forgive I cannot Jesus, prayer. a silent breathed she thing incredible the most hand his took she As forgiveness. your hand her through and arm her along shoulder her From happened. prayed forgive me and help me to forgive him. She tried him. She smile, to forgive to me help and me forgive prayed felt she confessed and not could She struggled hand. her raise to so And again charity. or warmth of spark the slightest not nothing, kept her hand at her side. Even as the anger and vengeful thoughts thoughts vengeful and the anger as Even side. her at hand her kept Christ died for them. Jesus the sin of saw she her, boiled through she Jesus, Lord more? for ask to I going am thought, she this man I am Fraulein, to think that, as you say, he has washed my sins sins my washed has he say, you as think to that, Fraulein, I am who had she, And hers. shake to thrust was out hand His away!” Bloemendaalforgive, in needto to the the people so often preached door in the processing center at Ravensbruck I am convinced that that convinced I am Ravensbruck at center in the processing door burdens lift God spontaneously of could the power of short nothing grateful “How said, and her approached He this magnitude. of read the account of Corrie Tenboom describing her first encounter encounter first her describing Corrie of Tenboom the account read room the shower at who stood had guard SS man the former with neighbor as yourself. neighbor the books. on law itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. the day is evil the unto Sufficient itself. affects our everybodies in system Stress worry be happy. don’t detrimentally. lead to a more abundant life. A simple example can be can taken example A simple life. abundant lead a more to 6:34 which reads: Matthew from of things the for thought take shall marrow the for morrow: the inclination to obey or admiration for his teachings. Though Though teachings. his for obey admiration to or inclination admonitions his medical time, his science proves for revolutionary sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 140 I have forgiven himfor stealing from me witness and false bearing in jail, but Ihave forgiven my brother for outing me to my family. concentration camp, aprisoner been of war or evenspent night the Christians exist. important for me to declare my faith that so others know will Gay in slices. that together. with bad the all good is; the Itake Ican’t love people I not only have forgiven himbut Ican honestly say Ilove him,for against me. You wouldn’t know any of us together to this see today. As amember of Gay the Writes group Ifeel it especially I have for this experienced myself. No, I’ve ina never been sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 141 by Evany Pace Evany by Visions and Voices and Visions My frail exterior frail My war. blackened its to soul the leaves but heals, out, me will seek one No inside. infernal the understand to burning repressed Sadly, own. my but heart any ignite cannot dance on my skin. Wondering, with charred limbs, limbs, charred with Wondering, skin. my on dance notice. would people if away. hide can’t they what see only They gone. are scars the Today while? a little for stayed have they Couldn’t Last night I caught on fire. on I caught night Last body. quiescent my enveloped Flames least at hurt, didn’t It within. pain the so than anymore not ethereal the I watched A few weeks ago it was my turn to present a poem the to present to turn my was it ago weeks A few I sometimes feel like I am at odds with my religion. My My religion. odds my with at am I like feel I sometimes with the following poem: the following with surprised to find how easily words and phrases were coming to me. me. to coming were phrases and words easily how surprised find to religion, my of the constraint under so long for trapped voice, My up come to run able to I was free. the opportunity at ecstatic was this arena everyone’s voice is heard. is voice everyone’s this arena I was poetry very but written much life, not in my I have group. what is right. My whole voice is not always heard. Recently I joined I joined Recently heard. always not is voice whole My right. is what of is a conglomeration This group group. writing a community In moms. stay-at-home and students poor, and rich old, and young dearly, but I do not always feel like I can be my true a be I am self. I can my like feel always I do not but dearly, with guys for I go why. ask and analyze to I love emotions. of mess do always I don’t And “bad attitude. boy” that who have hair long religion seems to want clean, dutiful, upright, exemplary, and and exemplary, upright, dutiful, clean, want seems to religion religion my am. I love I who always not is cheerful That people. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 142 heard. I know understands that God my whole voice and wants it to be fellow religionists may preach “right” the way feel, to think, and act, practice of the between religion and religion the itself. While my to bring up inreligious settings. Iunderstand now difference the stories, Iam able to show that of part me that is “unacceptable” imaginative. And that is okay. am religious. Ilove dearly. God But dark, critical, Iam and also that my of idea is important self and it is right Iam. who to I be as Iembraced Iwas who and spoke my voice, Icame to understand doing things that were of contrarymy to ideology the religion. But, my away heart Iwas because ashamed from God for and thinking long time.very were out open. inthe And, Ifelt to closer religion than Ihad ina that Ihad not allowed myself to indulge of inbecause my religion felt at set like Ihadliberty. been thoughts, The feelings, and actions wrote it and this with members the discussed of my writing group, I that myeverything religion is not. As I negativeand has avery tone. It is twisted. It with seriousissues deals As Iattend writing this group and work on my and poems It that seems repressing was turning poem inthis ideas the darkis poem This and past the fire. fears and people who run inextinguishable element easier is living than Hoping the seductive ashes. once again and calm my secret Wishing terrors to come scorching step into the weakened spotlight. tonightSo Itake that trapped for solong under theconstraint was ecstatic at the at ecstatic was of my religion, of opportunity to “My voice, runfree. ” sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 143 by Jill Ammon Vanderwood Ammon Jill by It’s All Daddy’s Fault AllDaddy’s It’s The door bell rang. Nedean ran to answer it. answer to Nedean ran door The bell rang. friend, in the her rain?” Davina, asked play to want you “Do her told Nadean the rain,” sent Father glad Heavenly “I’m “The rain is important for the farmers. When we don’t have have we don’t When farmers. the for “Theis important rain about worry much so we don’t that “Theis so important, rain “No,” said Nadean. said “No,” TV?” mom. watch her or asked color, to want you “Do all it’s “And Nadean. said rain,” rain, does rain, is it “All surprised. mom, her asked fault?” Daddy’s it is “Why rain,” for prays he prayer, the family time says Daddy “Every All morning Nadean sat in front of the window. She watched watched She the window. of in front sat Nadean All morning to out go and gear rain your on put to want do you “Honey, Rain splattered, and dripped down the windows. It ran off off ran It the windows. down dripped and Rain splattered, to hoping on, the windw to hurried Nadean Seven old, year mom. mom. carrying sail boats. plastic two couldn’t get a drink, without the rain.” a drink, get without couldn’t mom. her said wet,” getting rain, there isn’t enough water to grow the fruit or vegetables we eat,” eat,” we vegetables the fruit or grow to water enough isn’t there rain, you thirsty, got “if you orange. an Nadean handing mom, her said said Nadean. “Now all it does is rain, rain, rain, everday.” rain, rain, does all rain, is it “Now Nadean. said Daddy’s fault.” Daddy’s play?” asked her mom. her asked play?” the rain splatter on the ground. She listened to the sound it made as as made it the sound to listened She the ground. on splatter the rain the roof. hit it see the sun. “It’s still raining,” she said. Nadean walked, with a long a long walked, with Nadean said. she still raining,” see “It’s the sun. break. eat to the kitchen into face, the roof, splashing into a large puddle. The rain formed a stream, stream, a formed rain The puddle. a large into splashing the roof, house. the the fill down below flowing sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 144 pancakes. maple. Ichoose God?” ask him,“Is your choice hard? Imean, is it difficult to believe in not asks. is God?” thatbelieve everything Muslims believe, or doyou inmany believe Ordoyou Gods? you Do no inone, God. believe like Christians and God, male “What doyou mean?” murderer. Ithought we were just eating dinner.” back inside restaurant. the walks reasons Ilove Kaua’i.” can smell seashore. the Our platesOur arrive. He coconut tells me to with try syrup my time,This can’t I help but grin. “You really are strange,”say. I “Just wait it,” until you try he says again. “I you’re think right, we’re just eating dinner,” Isay. Then, I He laughs he because must agree with me. “Which he is it?” “You’re strange,” so Isay. Finally, he clarifies his question says,and believe in “I If trip is this adisaster, it’ll his fault. be Iask himagain, “What’s nature the he ofasks. your God?” I ask, “What doyou mean?” He says to me, “Not at but all, doyou in?” God which believe “Do Iask. you mind that inGod?” Ibelieve He answers, wouldachild, but kill “Because God not a “Why not?” “No.” I ask him,“Do you inGod?” believe pours waterA server into our our takes orders glasses, and He says, “Sitting outside eating banana pancakes is one of the atableI choose outside and I ocean, we the I think so can see “Just wait it,” until you try he says. “Pancakes for Iask him. dinner?” My Father, theStranger by Garrett Drage sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 145 Prologue by Nikki Hammer Nikki by “Well….whatever you are,” his hands were balling into tight tight balling into were hands his are,” you “Well….whatever even try to willpower block of to a lot took It me.” at “Look He wouldn’t look at her. “What the hell are you? Too much much Too you? are the hell “What her. look at wouldn’t He him. to got tone the mocking and laughed She please.” “Oh “Of all the places to do something like this couldn’t you have have you this couldn’t like all do something to the places “Of He couldn’t decide what was happening. There was cool was There happening. was decide what couldn’t He “Now this truly is pathetic.” “Now eyes His in mid motion. frozen hand his Galen frowned, The day that Galen decided to shoot himself was also the day was also himself Galen decidedshoot day the to that day The out the command in her voice. In the end he looked up and found found and up looked he the end In voice. in her the command out him and eyes with locked She face. her from away inches himself fists. The gun’s grip was biting into his palm. “Go away and leave and leave away “Go his into palm. biting was grip The gun’s fists. the fuck alone.” me me. That’s like asking a Neanderthal to appreciate a luxury a sports appreciate Neanderthalto a asking like That’s me. car.” booze, my brain misfiring, trying to convince me not to do this?”not me misfiring, trying brain to convince booze, my conjure to enough sophisticated near anywhere isn’t mind “Your picked somewhere clean? I realize you don’t care but I do. Have Have I do. but care don’t you I realize clean? somewhere picked you.” don’t why others for consideration from her and stared at his feet. Another deep breath, God he deep breath, Another feet. his at stared and her from hand. in his the gun shifted and cigarette, another wanted metal greasing his hand and temple and he had to be alone yet… yet… be to had alone he and temple and hand his metal greasing Galen away looked explanation. other no hallucinating, was He dressed in seductive red and black clothing. She sat on the edge of of the edge on sat She clothing. black and red in seductive dressed the tiny at around staring was him. She to turned back her the tub, lips. her wrinkled Disgust twitched nose and her bathroom. shifted up and there she was. A woman with honey brown hair and and hair brown honey with woman A was. she and there up shifted the bathroom, easy clean up that way. No need to be a burden be need to a burden No way. that up easy clean the bathroom, metal then cold was A deep breath, gone. was he once anyone to temple. his against pressed month when he finally decided to do it. It wasn’t that he neededhe that It wasn’t it. finally decided whento do he month Galen stared the energy. up work to had just he persuasion, much do this in He’d the tub. of the edge on perched the handgun at he first met the angel. The crumbling apartment stank of nicotine of nicotine stank apartment The crumbling angel. met the first he a for been there living He’d desperation. with mixed alcohol and sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 146 tiny not speck worth paying attention to. You’ve turned yourself shifting color, changingwithease. smooth held himthere. at insurprise gasped Galen her eyes.They kept bathroom.” aren’t having conversation this and I’m lying shithole in this dead or something?” himself. toback over calm “That make you his eyestrying an angel his words. can’t chosen by be something that doesn’t exist.” Howridiculous. didasuicide turn into chosen being by God? hadn’t come out of his throat inyears.whole Thisthing beyond was clueless. “You have that no idea you’ve chosen.” been him again. He was awreck of aman, grimy, trampled, and totally faintest clue as to what’s going on not me.” She turned to face him again. eyes tight to prevent tears. The angel stood up, turningback her on his tub as his arm fell. Emotions forward rushed and he shut his him.The hitbehind head gun clanked wall the againstthe side of me. I’m just amessenger, aworker like you.” bee splattered tub. inthis Whether you say yes or no doesn’t matter to a choice. To live and fight with a or havepurpose, your brains blue. keepingeyes himfrom The shiftedmercurial toa speaking. dark reached out aslender hand and clamped it onto his jaw and chin, into acoward who’d rather away run than fight.” “No what see Iwant to is that believe none of is this real. We “If that’s what you want to believe.” “If you were sent by God,” he breaths, took indeep his hand what“Believe you want.” She not shrugged, bothered at by all “God?” His shook as his body laughter turned hysterical. “I begantoGalen laugh. It was ahoarse, cracked sound that “By God.” “Sent He by who?” brought ahand up toat rub his eyes. “I’m not some mirage, I’m here. actually Iwas sent to you.” “Chosen? What that hell the does mean?” “That’sShe scoffed. funny. You’re the whoone hasn’t the “You…you have what no idea I’m feeling. What I’ve done.” She pushed himaway with such force that back of the his “Don’t you All to need know speak. is that you’re given being opened his mouthGalen to protest and was cut off. She “As far as I’m concerned you are an insignificant fool. A sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 147 even your own.” your even “Right now your your “Right now anyone’s time not anyone’s filth and not worth filth and not worth actions label as you “What,” his voice caught and he coughed. “What am I being am “What coughed. he and caught voice his “What,” Galen finally squeezed his eyes They stared at each other for what what for other at each stared They “You’re just a man, full of up front weaknesses and buried weaknesses and front full up a man, of just “You’re “Shut up…” “Shut yourself. bathe let alone stand barely can you you, at “Look took It her. the gun at pointed and shouted He up!” “Shut She started to laugh, the mocking tone flooding the room. room. flooding the tone the mocking laugh, started to She She crossed her arms and stared at him steadily. “Then it, do steadily. him at stared and arms her crossed She chosen.” I was said you thought “I her. at up Galen stared we choice the only you’re mean doesn’t that but were “You chosen for?” chosen his face with one hand. The hand that had that hand The hand. one face with his again. spoke calmer he felt he When numb. gone the gun had held closed and scrunched up his features to to features his scrunchedclosed up and rubbed he vigorously Then tears. his stop harmlessly and he started to sob. sob. started to he and harmlessly sighedand leaned back angel The annoyed. slightly looking felt was exhausted. He slumped back back slumped He exhausted. was felt let muscles his all of and the tub into to the ground clattered gun The go. only you.” only all Galen Suddenly eternity. an like felt your actions. Right now your actions label you as filth and not not and filth as label you actions your now Right actions. your reality remains that All of own. even your time not anyone’s worth fate, decide else your can one No it. change decide to unless you voice cold. voice being special earned is through but be unique may You strengths. slammed into the wall sending chunks of plaster to the ground. the ground. to plaster of the wall chunks sending into slammed till their faces were moved and smiled she again as up Galen stared her chilling, and smile dark was Her each other. from away inches You’ve got some nerve to think of yourself as a hero.” as nerve some yourself think to of got You’ve and her through They went shots. quick three fire to thought no Galen’s fists tightened and his teethclenched. his and tightened fists Galen’s his face. “You thought that you were that kind of special? The hero special?hero of kind The that were you that thought “You face. his all?” us who will the one save the day, of have. The blessing and curse of free will.” She smiled at the look on at look the smiledShe of will.” and free curse blessing The have. make it a reality. That’s your choice. ill yourself and be done with with and be done yourself ill choice. your That’s reality. a it make sense then to more who has bastard the next to on so move can I it time.” my waste sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 148 say yes and you’re committing your whole life to cause.” the couldn’t he was believe evenasking. “It’s not asingle mission, you or not he had strength. the continue for how knew who long. The only questionwhether was again, turning it over inhis hands. It could end inone flash, or of last the three years. He reached over and picked up gun the and and triumphs good the struggles bad, the and darkness the all attempt to help others.” At way least this you could go out inablaze of glory. Maybe even your last the history thing you’d want is to dielike coward. alazy anyway.”soon that mission the is dangerous. Who knows, you might end up dying always say no and shoot yourself later on. Not to mention fact the there, her arms crossed and one foot tapping impatiently. ifthereof was nothing apurpose inhis else life? The angel stood Hispurpose. and sank heart he slumped again. What was point the himself out taking between of big the picture and having anew what he wanted and did. heBut still now he wavered, teetering took insteady breaths. He sure so that had been ending it was all and couldn’t. His muscles creaked and complained. messenger doesn’t mean Ican’t accept reality.” it ancall exercise infutility.” reverting back I to an evenmore of trying. history barbaric period heavy with contempt. won’t long be before you’ve picked eachother apart.” Her voice was is crumbling around all us. Humanity and it has destructed self “Would you up and hurry Idon’t decide? have forever to wait Galen’s mind wandered and he thought about his life. of All The angel again sighed and spat out at him.knowing “Look, “I don’t know. I’m not sure point.” the Isee of this way,it “Think even if yousay yes now you could clungGalen to sides of the tub the as his and mind raced he The angel’swidened.“Exactly, smile you’recatching on.” “Reality is what you make of it.” He to sit tried up straighter She couldn’t help but smile. “Just I’m because God’s “For an angel you’re viewpoint is really fucked up.” “Trying?” She rolled her eyesand up stood again. “If you call “We’re rebuilding, things aren’t but perfect we’re trying.” She looked annoyed again and at scowled world him.“The “What alittle cause? more Be damned specific.” The angel didn’t for speak along moment. She looked like she sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 149 “Nothing like this you haven’t.” this you like “Nothing will I be doing?” “What then spoke. steadily her gazed at He of the harbinger become smiled “You’ll She icy again. cold “I’ll do it.” He said the words with conviction. It melted melted It conviction. with the words said He do it.” “I’ll be this because you’ll for ready you’re I hope “Excellent. been hell.” through “I’ve Galen glanced up at her and gripped the gun. He thumbed thumbed gripped the gun. He and her at Galen glanced up Galen continued to stare down at the gun. He frowned softly softly frowned the He gun. at down stare to Galen continued to going be to cakewalk. a It’s going this not is “Remember, death, and maybe somewhere down the line you just might become become might just you the line down maybe somewhere and death, the hero.” slightly at the sight of the smile on the angel’s face. the angel’s the smile on of the sight at slightly hell.” walking through moment before stepping out of it and coming over to stand next to to next stand to over coming and it of out stepping before moment her. very long.” a himself gave He in the tub. stood shakily up and the safety be tough and savage.” The angel stood there inspecting her nails. nails. stood inspectingher there angel The savage.” and be tough last you’d I doubt constantly. you of out kicked the shit get “You’ll and thought about what he might be able to change. “What the “What change. to be able might he what about thought and not?” hell…why around for you.” for around sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 150 nice homecoming. me. This was for Valentine’sDay since been we had apart. What a me at bus the station. He had abig, stuffed,bearwith a heart forred before bus the could get moving again. easy. Nope! The bus blew outtire, a and we waited acouple of hours my sister’s house. stranded on way the up. Instead of leaving, Istayed an day extra at than Stanford, Oregon, due to weather. bad same The Iwasplace with eachother. at Mom and Dad’s for two days. It was niceto spendsome time couch for four days. I got there, sick Ibecame with bronchitis and stayed on my sister’s Oregon for ten hours. depart. wait Greyhound inthe bus station until 3:00AMfor my bus to week inYakima. I returned home four hours late. My husband was waiting for I finally gotback the on bus to go home. It couldn’tthis be trip home,On the bus the driver said we could go no further My sister and Ivisited our mother and father. We stayed both I arrived inYakima aday later than originally planned. When myI missed connecting bus and was stranded inStanford, Before Icould leave Utah, amajor snowstorm hit. Ihad to Three years ago I went to Washington for avacation. I spent a Greyhound AdventureGreyhound by Marlene Arbogast sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 151 Summer by Ms. Sadie (Catina Harper) Ms. Sadie (Catina by and he took me to Six Flags Great America which Great Flags Six to me took he and th I volunteered at the Pacific Garden Mission, which is a which Mission, Garden the Pacific at I volunteered I left Florida and went to Chicago. I hung out with my family my family with out hung I to Chicago. went and I left Florida The ocean was so serene. It was quiet and calming. The sky The calming. and quiet It was The was ocean so serene. Summer was great! I went to Miami. I stayed in Miami in Miami I stayed Miami. to I went great! was Summer homeless shelter. I worked in the clothing room for two weeks in weeks two for room in the clothing I worked shelter. homeless that Sunday with his family. The The barbecuedwasthe Iever fish best family. his with Sunday that right just It was seasoned apart. fall firmit didn’t was so It tasted. yummy! done well was it and is an amusement park. We ate at a restaurant called Hermana Japan Japan called Hermana a restaurant at ate We park. amusement an is cook the food the chefs where Benni like Hanna’s much which is house sister’s his grill. a hibachi at dinner I had on you of in front every corner we passed. People were telling jokes which made us us which made jokes telling were every passed. People we corner of the one at met guy fun. I much this was This smile. so and laugh 4 July parties on o’clock in the morning and we hung out and partied on the streets, partied the streets, and on out hung we and in the morning o’clock everywhere.people were menthought The There pictures. took and on us with so they conversations tried pretty holding were we that My cousin, my sister and I went partying. I couldn’t drink because partying. I couldn’t I went and sister my cousin, My other my of one to went I still fun. had We but pregnant, I was 7 until lasted that club a reggae to went We party. birthday cousin’s I didn’t want to leave. leave. to want I didn’t me. Utahto join flew in cousin from My time. a great had we and away from the shore. It was so surreal. Even though the though ocean was so Even was surreal. It the shore. from away clubs the night from playing faintly the music hear could you quiet good so calledfelt vibe The street that Ocean Drive. famous that on was lit up by stars. The water had a light salt smell that was pleasure pleasure was smell that salt had a light water The stars. by up lit was seemed The far nose. boats closeso were theythough even my to of the people came from an island or another country, and most most and country, another or island an from came the people of only I sobecause off I felt language. one than more them spoke of speak English. met there were all locals. They shared information with me on how how on me with all information locals. were Theyshared there met talkedabout We they stay. to chose why and Miami, to they got Most they in Florida. lived long how and they from where came Springs and I hung out on Ocean Drive. I took pictures at the at pictures I took Ocean Drive. on out I hung and Springs I Carribean of food.that The people lots I ate and Mansion Versace sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 152 homes and jobs.Some their of men the were on bible the program addictions. They moveddrug intothe sheltertheir lost becausethey from alot of differentbackgrounds. Some peoplethe of had prior July, fixing up and sorts arrangingpeople theall Iof met shoes. This trip was the best!tripThisthe was rewarded by able being to home take ten pairs of shoes. designer encouragement inorder to help along them life’s journey. Iwas also I was able to share my with people story and give some them before. By volunteering my not time only was Irewarded because violence situation once, and Iknow people that were abusers drug were enduring. For instance Iwas homeless of because adomestic differentfrom me. I wentthrough some samethe of situations they life, that Ilearned because people that live inshelters are really no shared hugs, tears, and love. left The an experience imprint on my were they who as people, and share joys intheir and pains. We clothing room for an outfit change. I got them to talk andknowto helping Ihad because to them assist came they to when them the womenthe came from abusive relationships. It was my pleasure power for strength instead of depending on addictions. Alot of iswhich aprogram that teaches to on them depend higher their sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 153 Enough by Katherine January Katherine by was enough was and between continents two and was there what cheering throngs at both ends at throngs cheering confetti ticker-tape, streamers, strapped to a lonely wicker seat with wings with seat wicker a lonely to strapped Atlantic the relentless above toiling he ate ham and cheese and ham ate he maybe beefand and somewhere over water over somewhere and steel on wind the whine of and when I get to Paris I won’t need any more any need I won’t Paris to I get when more any need won’t I Paris to get don’t I if and when Lindbergh took flight that May that when Lindbergh flight took sandwiches five packed he sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 154 The shovel, hard and cold, like awindblown leaf, enough for task. this No coin. No reward. The world no longer Uncaring, unseeing. As an afterthought, Icombed my hair. This hole a home. Tool Time by Scott Aldrich two yards down. The remnants of Like adeathLike ray. Now four sided, Changed once, dressed twice. No, slouched. one man’s life. I marched. Slumping. No thanks dug deep. his oyster. Ever.

sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 155 by Shirley Fifer Shirley by April Tax Day Tax April if they are used if they are two brains are better than one than better are brains two half brains even four oh for a perfect world for oh good some suggestions make the battle join to support the politicians support to law them by abolish they’ll a replacement have necessary are taxes if you get angry get if you the tax collector shoot don’t April tax day April income no to advantage one pay to taxes no is sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 156 children. futurejobs inthe example and agood be for my siblings and my workmy degree. social Ihope open it opportunities will for better forward to earning my schooldiploma high and going to college for excellentthe benefits betterevenand pay. For now, I am looking for American Preparatory Academy. Ilove of jobbecause this howlearned to handle money and give change to customers. it was interesting. Iam always interested inlearning things. I new position at Home as acashier. Depot Iloved jobbecause new this I had my family to support. As Iwas working there, Iapplied for a fromand Ilearned about friends experiences there. good the alwayscaring. I’ll remember working there and telling my family to work.customers The werealways appreciative, and boss was my contact and smiling for customers. my comprehension of American the culture, such as making eye- do—from working with people of different diversities to increasing my co-worker was there me, beside helping me figure outwhat to accent. had ahard Ialso understanding time brand names, but customersbecause had ahard understanding time me due to my looked niceand inorder. phone orders, and folding clothing—making sure everything merchandize, answering questions regarding items, new taking were to help customers throughout store the by finding Iworkedexperience. Men’s inthe Department. My responsibilities employeefull-time three months later. My jobwas an interesting preparing for holiday. Christmas the hired They there me as a downtown inNovember 2005as store the was getting busy, now have three kids. Igot City, inFebruary 2005inSalt married Lake Services. Utah. I US from Kenya on June 2004,through 8th, Catholic Community Two years later, at my current job, Iam working as acustodian I enjoyed working there it because was aclean and niceplace I quit jobafter this a becauseyear it wasn’tpaying well, and jobThe was challenging and confusingbeginning the in myI started job first part-time Sears the storeat near My name is Issa. Iam 29years old and originally came to the My Job Experiences by Issa Mberwa sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 157

most they got caught! caught! they got if ‘He’…” by Mary M. Fuller by … he will…” … he Happily, I did not have to return as I had a job offer in a job offer I had as return to have I did not Happily, The young clerk at the receiving desk said I could not apply apply not I could desk said receiving at the clerk young The equal that stated that recently passed had a law Congress 4:30 was it but see to the supervisor, asked have I would Such a general statement though ‘true’ when a biological when a biological ‘true’ though statement a general Such recession an economic during afternoon Friday On a late My goal, in 1973, was to share my observations about the about observations my share to in 1973, was goal, My and the men in of in the the bodyfunctions Differences “In Business, the Generic Pronoun Generic the Pronoun Business, “In Unfortunately, it still happens. Grrrr! still happens. it Unfortunately, longer mattered when applying for a job! How long had women women had long a job! How for when applying mattered longer would a man in jobs they but do been could in the job market is, That MORE! NO her. over be promoted the mail box. Sadly, I did not take the opportunity to ‘educate’ a ‘educate’ to take the opportunity I did not Sadly, box. the mail no gender that clerks her or his and Officer Personnel company’s on that frenzied Friday afternnon. Monday would be frenzied but but would be frenzied Monday afternnon. frenzied Friday that on time. be more would there for that job because the announcement (she showed it to me) said, said, me) to it showed (she job because the announcement that for engineer The genders. the of basis be on made not jobs could for employment in the 1973 I applied for an ‘Industrial Engineer’ job. All the job. Engineer’ ‘Industrial an for in the 1973 I applied historymatched! work and my education and qualifications function needs to be met, a biological function does not fit fit function be doesfunction needs a biological to met, not jobs performed in public. function of females giving birth, determined the visualizations of of birth, determined the visualizations giving females function of for.” “made were women and men work of kinds different generic pronoun “he” used in newspaper columns announcing announcing used columns in newspaper “he” pronoun generic women. and men for opportunities work sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 158 to his phone. As he exited bus the he realized, twenty. No other bills; no coins. Swipe. light. Red and aredbeep light. and it swiped through reader. the The device respondedwith aloud nearestin the available seat. bus up. pulled tearing cloth. the He deposited it trash inthe can at as the curb the gust, turned which umbrella the inside out, breaking two and ribs remaining clouds and sun the came out. afinal Thewind sighed weatherman? Why are you always dumb? so Huh, stupid? have brought the raincoat. Stupid. Why don’t you listen to the stand apartmentthe the beside door as he hurried out. Thein arush. umbrella been an had afterthought, snatched from rain, notexpected more than anyway, asprinkle and he had been it warm and had been sunny afew minutes ago. He hadn’t really new suit ruined is phone,cell iPod and jacket inthe wallet of his suit coat. In just afew seconds his pants were wet. He soaking sheltered his a while, what you pay, you’d think they’d make an effort to be on time once in washer, as he waited for bus. the It was late. It was always late. He put twenty the and fare the card back in hisnext pocket, “If you don’t have your fare, you’ll have to get offthe bus, sir.” Oh and I’m not. “Sir, your Ineed fare, and I’m on aschedule.” Same response. Again. Same. Again. Swipe. light. Beep. Red “Again, please.” He rose from seat, the took card the out of hisagain, pocket Sir, can you swipeyour please card again?” Is she talking to me? “Excuse me, sir.” He stepped into his fare coach, swiped the card, and sat down The storm was over in five minutes, theand sun dissolved the southwestThe wind coldturned and it rained, a gully real he thought. The umbrella didlittle to protect his lower half. The Best Layed Plans Best The . He had thought about grabbing his overcoat, but He fishedthrough pocket his for change. A by J. Phillip Wilkes The phone! The damn Should This brand For sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 159 Stupid! Don’t Don’t Stupid! Today of all days he he all days of Today had wanted to be sharp, look be to sharp, wanted had smart, feel keen. He’d had a had He’d keen. feel smart, haircut, got a manicure, baked a manicure, got haircut, Don’t you ever learn, dummy? learn, ever you Don’t at the tanning salon. He had had He salon. the tanning at put the cards next to the phone. phone. the to next cards the put The key card to his building building to his key card The bought this new suit. He had had He this new suit. bought he had forgotten. forgotten. had he

soaked in a hot bath and used the and bath soaked in a hot had failed to work last week, and and week, last work failed to had

I will not! Too important. Cannot Cannot important. Too I will not!

exfoliating scrub. He had watched the watched had He scrub. exfoliating phone. evening news with a green mud on his his on mud news a green with evening You have spoiled everything, you idiot. Can’t you do do you Can’t idiot. you everything, spoiled have You He struggled not to express his frustration outwardly. outwardly. frustration his struggled express to He not “After today today “After Stay on track stick with the plan. Don’t let it fall apart. Recoup. Recoup. apart. fall it let Don’t plan. the with stick track on Stay “No!” he screamed as he spun around in the middle of the in the middle of around spun he as screamed he “No!” been had life leading whole His today. about was Everything All had gone according to plan. Until now. Now he was was he Now now. Until plan. to according All gone had He’d cooked himself a satisfying breakfast of scrambled eggs, scrambled of a satisfying breakfast himself cooked He’d all those whoall those had everyone whoeveryone had would be silenced.” than pursue his own, his own, than pursue well-worn path rather Recover. pursue his own, would be silenced. After today people would listen. listen. would today people be silenced. After would own, his pursue seek his him and admire would see him. Everyone would People counsel. and company Today all the determination, hard work, late nights would finally would nights late work, hard all the determination, Today all had today everyone ridiculed who doubted, and After matter. than rather path those who advised trod the well-worn had him to cancel this day. this cancel this day. for wished and prayed hoped, had He this day. him toward bed. side walk, hands. his wringing and the phone. the phone. and right? things to go back and go home Just now. everything forget as well might You and everything he would need, the night before. everything need, the night and would he the cards about walk, to all forgotten had because he have to going to take his medication this morning, even though he had awakened awakened had he even though this morning, medication take his to he Luckily still pill. groggy the planned, sleeping than from later clothes his out laid himself, ahead fool to hour sethad an the clock over the counter sleep aid to ensure he stayed asleep all asleep night. stayed he ensure to sleep aid the counter over remembered even He’d and milk. juice, some fruit, muffin, English face and a mouthful of gooey gel that tasted worse than poi, in a poi, than worse tasted gooey that of gel a mouthful face and an taking retired early, had He mouth. his fit quite didn’t that tray ridiculed and doubted, and doubted, ridiculed advised the to trod him sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 160 he was crossing next the intersection and another. next, and next the he thing hewas crossing knew street. the Then to go.needed The way he making his way towards his destiny. Good job. Way to go, He stopped reeling and found himself facing direction the he must he thought as he continued on, to walk go. The first step was followed the by sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 161 Plagiarism by Fran Crookston Fran by When considering the thousands of years of history, every history, of years of the thousands considering When I worked as a computer programmer for over twenty twenty over for programmer a computer as I worked what we are writing needs to be kept personal in order for the for personal in order be needs to writing kept are we what us. within happening is what express accurately to output consciousness. It may be that as we develop a more complete and and complete a more develop we as be that may It consciousness. find the to source want we world our or understanding complex while but sources, our on do research thereby thinking and our of the for basis grammar, the vocabulary learning and still developing this happens by first working on producing what is within each of is each within what producing on working first by this happens write we what While another. of the work copying than rather us our of personal all be developed first from must it us, outlive can about our world without having to reference other interpretations interpretations other reference to having without world our about the vocabulary learn how and need develop to We the world. of But paragraphs. and sentences correct grammatically construct to are each called to offer a unique perspective of our environment. our environment. of perspective a unique each called offer to are be could taught what beyond is experience life that with adults As write these experiences, can to life we in response feelings and parrot whatever we received in the way of input and mathematics mathematics and input of in the way received we whatever parrot the thinking process. develops we yet and others by been has offered the world interpreting of way output, but writing is also a developed skill that allows persons to to persons also allows is skill writing a developed that but output, process we think we how is What output. enduring a more produce just than rather output personalize our to receive we the input developed skill for receiving input, but just listening or seeing or seeing or or listening just but input, receiving skilldeveloped for utilize. naturally us all of that input methods of food are consuming methods of the natural do are we work whatever Speaking and us experiences life in three modes; the same input, output, and and output, input, experiences modes; in three us the same life some off trading are we Center, the Literacy Action At processing. a Reading is these processes. for capacity our inhibit that habits of number increasing an of capable are computers While years. three of does one is everything computer a that applications, Likewise, each of processing. and output, input, basic functions: sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 162 sing atune, a melody of love. It is beautiful, like parade the on the water.in the this do They over and over, again and again. They tails ontheir water. the They go fifteen feet beforesinkthey down and flip fourbeforetimes hitthey the water. They jump and tiptoe sailboat. They jump up and down and up and down, they and jump grip it, hold it tight, and don’t letit go. know where you are going. When youwhat find you’re looking for, IknowI think whatsay, mean. They they “Wow, Dock, we don’t my sailboat singing songs. their Idon’t know what are they saying. farewell to you all.” my dream. Idon’t know how rough or tough Farewell, be. it will Ihaveeveryone Farewell, seen. farewell to you I’m all. going to get Farewell, farewell to you Farewell all. to family, the and friends, to find my dream. Idon’tknow how far or how longtake. will it and cities.valleys, Isay, “Farewell. Farewell to you Iam all. going get. sailboat. the Itake weather.the She makes many too turns to get her point on tar the motorboat. target.trouble The is, Idon’t have enougheducation to operatethe ter how weather the might she be, always keeps her point on the her to find my dream. say, “Wow, is any Dock, dream out there for you?” bubbles.the Light shines on words the on bubbles. the The words image appears. no spark or smoke. my Ican see so Isleep dream but no frame or butwhile, there is no music or sound. Iwait for alittle longer but They They fly away. The dolphins come alongboth sides on the of I say, you. “Thank Thank you to all.” you Way out, out farther onto birds the ocean, the fly around back toI look land. mountains, the the Isee forests, hills, I go to sailboat. the sailboat The is butgood, she depends on I go to motorboat. the The motorboat is good. It doesn’t mat It doesn’t matter how, where, or Igo. when I’m going without Iscream, butSo only bubbles come out. There are words on I wait for wind to the help me find my dream. Iwait for a Discovering My Dream by Sateki Kinikini - - sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 163

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- belly.” “I eatthe bitter in my bitter in my my mouth butmy stars, and they are they and stars, sweet like honey in honey sweetlike - “When we see the people on the ocean, we like to entertain entertain to the like see ocean, we we on the people “When The whales start swimming away. I eat the stars, and and they stars, the I eat away. The start whales swimming The whales come along on on along The whales come I say, “Thank you. Thank you to you you to you Thank “Thankyou. I say, with our huge bodies, our big flat tails, and our flippers so we can we so our flippers and tails, flat bodies, big our huge our with Atlantic or from Ocean Indian to the Ocean the Pacific swim from Ocean.” the Arctic to Ocean and gris, and they collect it to make perfume. They use our oil perfume. in they make their our gris, Theyuse to collect and it to the have right We research. They alsoscientific for killlamps. us us created our creator, The Lord, home. our is It in the water. live for what they have done to save us from the people. They hunt to hunt They the people. from us save to done they have what for farms. feedfox to the meat our for theirTheyuse need. us killfor us amber our up We throw our They cosmetics.use baleen make to are sweet like honey in my mouth but bitter in my belly. The words words The belly. in my bitter but mouth in my honey like sweet are you have to grateful are we “Dock, saying, mouth, my of out come grateful are we that know Peace Please let the Green parade. in our Each star has a different word telling me to eat all of the stars with with stars of the all to me eat telling word a different has Each star words. many colored streams of water falling from the whales. It is beauti is the whales. It falling from water of streams colored many Utah of in the state July of the Twenty-fourth on ful, the parade like colors. all different of waterfall, the out come stars The in the U.S.A. straight up sixty feet high. Their flippers are straight out. Water Water out. are straight high. sixty flippers feet Their up straight is filledwithsky bodies The waterfalls. like their huge runs down reflects on the sunset the from The light colors. different of clouds and fall to the left side and splash again. They again. splash and fall the side left to and over it They do the water. their against tails whip and down dive jump and down They dive beautiful. is It again. and again over, and out of their blowholes twenty feet in feet twenty their blowholes of out fallto and the up jump They the air. again up jump They splash. side and right the right side of the sailboat in or the sailboat side of the right water blowing them are of Ten der. toward the west, and swim on their swim on and the west, toward I goodbye. wave flippers Their backs. sail east. to continue look and make a picture in your mind.” mind.” your in a picture make look and turn back order, in away They swim all.” tune they are singing, but I guess I understand the melody of their of the melody I understand I guess but singing, they are tune in you have to delighted we’re Dock, “Wow, saying, are They song. see takea good it, heart, if you in your is Whatsoever parade. our Fourth of July in the United States of America. I don’t know the know America. I don’t of States in the United July of Fourth sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 164 Peace know to continue to save us.” our lives. For people,hunt the they Green letthe us. Please to kill we are afraid to come to close doour entertainment. We fear for Wethem. have with us. to fun Sometimes they’ll doour so best try before, were they for starts areward. am alive and well, inmy walking dream. Only bubbles came out sand one, remains forever inour No hearts. frame or image, but I singing. No spark nor smoke, but September eleventh, two thou out like aquartet. No music or sound, but choir tabernacle the is onwind whistles different the sizes the of ropes. The sound comes boat’s tiptoe rudder on like surface the she is flyingthe in air. The way, up boat the to starts to speed eighty an miles hour. Ifeel the ing hour. from per miles southeast, thirty the go sail Iletthe all The weather is gettingbewarebad, and go home.” you’reeven when asleep. You know will you are great at dreaming. of your dream. The spirit comewill alive, see it youandwill hear it sound, meaning by meaning, feeling by feeling, to build shape the youruse driving force to work on it.” mind, and you then know there is something about. to think Then your energy. Whatever you hear brings or feelings see good to your dream, you have driving the force of your your heart, strength, and mind. That’s how you create your dream. Once you create your heavens. It’s inyou! It is inyour thoughts, your feelings, and your otherthe sideof world, the or ocean, inthe up deep above the with wind blowing. the My sailboattraveling is still east. morningful with abeautifulsunrise.There is a nice clear blue sky more talk will about it.” I am gone. you see tomorrow. Goodnight, When Icome back, we havestill light the inyour eventhough beginning the mind to see yourClose eyes,and about think of beginning the your trip. You connect together.” The sky,the clouds,the colors, the sunset, theand waterfalls? all We toward me, shiny so and bright. It says, “Oh, doyou it Dock, all? see I arrive at Imakecut docks. the through aleft, thewind, let I prepare my sailboat and turn northwest. Thewind is blow I reply, you. “Thank Thank you, sun.” comesHe good says,word also “The by word,sound by Thesays, sun Dock, “Oh,your dream is not far. It is not on In morning, the sun the when comes back, it is such abeauti theThensays, sun “I’m going down now,dark.be so will it When sun the hits surface, astraight ocean the line comes - - - sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 165 - - Lana says, “I am here, and I love you.” you.” I love and here, am “I Lana says, I walk off the dock, kneel down, and kiss the land of happi of land the kiss and dock,I walk down, the kneel off sounds as if the echoes are calling each other. It comes down to just just to down comes It calling each other. if the echoes as are sounds you?” are where “Lana, saying, a small voice, voice, one the view of the mountains, hills, forests, valleys, and cities. I lower lower I valleys, cities. and hills, forests, the the view mountains, of the moun hits voice My “Wow!” shout, and up jump knees and my It louder. gets echoes and valleys. and It hills, forests, cities, tains, close enough to the dock. to close enough see and the mountains toward I glance feet, my on I rise up As ness. the sail go, and drop the anchor. The wind blows the boat backward backward the boat blows wind The the anchor. drop and the sail go, sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 166 chair at home. candied apples, sell Iwill and popcorn, lemonade his number. My is second to idea have my own fundraiser in my give mewill some of money the Idecorated because my chair with of me inmy decorated Jr. chair Earnheart to Dale Iam hoping he NASCAR’s number 88racecar suit. Then I wantsend a to picture logosthe that are on number the 88NASCAR. want Ialso to wear Daytona the see 500.My first is idea to decorate my chair withall way to get some money to my take family members to Florida to Speaks. race. the Winningstrip to see from raceare the donated to Autism Autism Day. Speaks The logoschildrenwhose are free chosen get a website.some The driversselect the logosof to put theircars on for The Speaks. children draw logos fortheir favorite drivers’cars on a howto see much cost it for will us to go as agroup. help to travel. to Ineed figure out how to raise money. I’m anxious for my family to alot go be it of because and will fun, their Ineed to Daytona the 500with my little sister and her Iwant kids. to pay Daytona it 500because is first the race season. Iwantthe of to go even though he wasn’t there. happy! Iwas so at finish the line yelling my head off, cheering on car number 88, didn’t belong to us. Afterriding aroundtrack,satthe I in my chair freaked This walls. the out my little sisterbecausethe mini-van our mini-van, She showed us how cars took corners the and rode NASCAR tour racetrack. Our guidedrove us around track in the 88 come out on top and racefor the win that weekend. favorite excitement of whole the race, however, number is seeing like different the I also thingsthe drivers do for children. My excitement the see drivers the put into makingracesuccessful. the race, leaderschangethe onceand at Ilike inawhile to every every cars the dodge pile inthe up. like NASCAR Ialso Iknow because wreckthen cars the how Ilike because to see many racecar drivers going and how long to take it finishthe race. will Ilike watching I enjoy to figure trying out how many miles an hourthecars are Since Iam not autistic, Iam going to have to find adifferent Once ayear, racecar drivers the all give money to Autism Now Ireally want aracelive. to see Iwant to go to the year,Last Iwent with my little sister’s family the to see I like NASCAR it because has away of challenging my brain. Daytona 500 by Julie Liljenquist sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 167 I want to become a mighty racecar driver myself. My only only My myself. driver racecar a mighty become to I want problem is I don’t drive a car. I only drive my chair. Until I raise I raise Until chair. my drive I only a car. drive I don’t is problem TV. the races on enjoy to I will continue the money, sponsors’ colors, to my neighbors. I will have to get my little sister sister little my get to will I have neighbors. my to colors, sponsors’ popcorn. and apples candied the lemonade, make me help to from my chair, decorated with my favorite driver’s car number and and number car driver’s favorite my with decorated chair, my from sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 168 dreams …sometimes inhis dreams he saw his mother’s face angry that were hung over scared himsometimes. his He bed had bad Shadows scared himand sometimes his room scared him.The toys greatthe comics. were they him. And were she funny funny; they could be together; read and write way before he went to schooland she was proud of reader world. inthe book was best the With her help heto learned was her little hero. She was smart and she to read him;she books Sometimes with being her was like heaven. He helped her and he muchsparkle so that that he knew there were little lights inthem. shewas and a great was fun pretty lady; and her blue eyescould “Storm Children,” one such describes experience. young,very perhaps evenbefore he wasAprevious born. memoir, perhaps of that because hadhe when both was experiences they sister or evenabrother. other people near, might dangerous. they be because into concealment bushes behind or into forest the if there were thatwas all was keeping himalive. staring eyes.He amongoloid to was what call used they idiot. She shewhen spoke at He all. had abig, swollen pale, and head goony keep up; he stumbled and delayed she spoke her; to himsharply His sister hurried along and dragged himby He wrist. the couldn’t distant houses scenes: on fire, moving figuressilhouetted by fire. cratered landscape. Trees were burned away. partly Weird flares lit vivid dream, usually which woke himup. But was not all well somehow. Sometimes he was afraid. When young he was very he loved his mother helplessly. She He always strong had avery connection with his mother, funnyThe thing aboutthe dream that was he didn’t have a Warplanes flew overhead.Sometimes his sister dragged him He and his big sister were traveling at night across ablasted, Later on he when of was older occurrences he a had several The Dragon (working title) by David Goodale sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 169 He spent a lot of time reading and he took long walks the in long took he and time reading of a lot spent He The headaches got worse until they were really severe, and and really severe, were they until worse got headaches The He wondered if food lasted forever in tin cans. He guessed He in tin cans. if food forever lasted wondered He Every year, in the summer and at Christmas, they drove Christmas, they drove at and in the summer Every year, Sometimes at night he cried, because he was sad that she was was she cried, sad was he because that he night at Sometimes He knew she would never put him in an oven. But it was then was it But oven. him in an put never knew would she He on took this time the memory event Over of of the passage When he was about four the family moved to Scotia, New Scotia, to New moved the family four about was he When the forests and fields were a wonderful escape from a home where where home a wonderful escape a from were fields and the forests crying; cry never in fact would he again. to him and near to a area Scotia rural moved Theyhad countryside. didn’t like to get involved. He could interact with other people and and people other with interact could He involved. get to like didn’t smile didn’t He be to alone. preferred he them but with do things stopped He time reading. of a lot spent He emotions. show or much then, when he was about eight or nine, they stopped. A change had had A change they nine, stopped. or eight about then, was when he a had He become progression. its finished had him, or over come he anymore; so things much feel didn’t he and solemn boy, rather other way. way. other all just dry up and blow away. dry blow all and just up food his some get to have would he later sooner or and wouldn’t it die. Everything would be so much better. He could live where he he where live could He better. be so would Everything much die. all the Hopefully supermarkets. empty food get from and wanted they could perhaps a mess; of too much make dead bodies wouldn’t freeways were built and the trip took two or three days. He sat sat He days. three or two the took trip and built were freeways the watching hours, for the window out looking in the backseat just would everyone in the world that wishing by, countryside go he could do about it. He started having headaches, cruel migraines. cruel headaches, migraines. started having He it. do about could he state the was This before relatives. visit to Ohio to York New from his mother and would always be his mother, and there was nothing nothing was there and be mother, his always would and mother his a dreamlike quality and became a lifetime reference point for his his for point reference became a lifetime and quality a dreamlike her. of memories early that he fully realized that she was angry at him a lot. Sometimes he he Sometimes him a lot. angry was she fully at he realized that that seemed didn’t she it like but didn’t, he sometimes and knew why her. toward cold felt he Inside needreally a reason. into the oven and he was scared, because he thought of Hansel and and Hansel of thought because he scared, was he and the oven into oven. in an children who put the witch and Gretel York, and he went with his mother to look at a house that was for for was that a house look at to mother his with went he and York, peered She back. hung kind of angry he was She him and with rent. helpless. and desperate felt he and sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 170 favorite spot of with no memory how he had gotten there. housethe and plunge far into later woods, the finding himself ina to pressthings seemed around him.Sometimes he would bolt from amazing things. above. things happened too. Good Time and understanding can do and our relationship, continued which long aftereventsthe related memory. of events. It may erroneous be insome ways. But itto my is true portrayal of alady is who no longer around to give her version somehow. He to his raised grades straight As. matter how averse he was to reality he would have to engage with it available 1950s. inthe inAmerica butwas never tried, was not psychiatry well-known or widely examined himfor physical problems, with no results. Apsychiatrist family household. His parents who sent specialists himto medical impulse to doanything about it. edge to it. He discovered that he was attracted to girls but had zero His of sense humor had returned but now there was adestructive and detached he unmotivated seemed inhis general demeanor. do much homework and were his grades mediocre. Teachers said However it is far from of whole the being story my mother Note: account this may rather seem dark, inthe particularly Next step: college. hisDuring senior year schoolhe that realized inhigh no The word “depression”began to find a quiet commerce the in TheSchool wasteen yearsoccurred. not going well. He didn’t sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 171 Chores Boles by John There were no wheels to be found; that was his next task. He next task. his was that to found; no be wheels were There He found a few Mars bars in the kitchen, which he shoved shoved which he in the kitchen, bars Mars a few found He Thoughts of his son Steve interrupted his tranquility. Paul Paul his tranquility. interrupted Steve of his son Thoughts Paul smashed the window with a rock, brushed aside a few a few aside brushed a rock, with the window smashed Paul from the fog that rolled in from the west. He wanted both a car and and both a car wanted He the west. in from rolled that the fog from need be in to hidden in the seat back would He a driver. headed out the back porch and past the chicken shed and started and shed the chicken past and the porch back headed out He barley. of winter the field bordering line the fence walking along him shield if to as the path walked he along as up pulled collar his fridge. He gulped it down and said to nobody in particular, “Man “Man nobody in particular, to said and down gulped it fridge. He good.” tasted -- that lived with her folks. her with lived Bud in the of oz. can a 16 was even pocket. There a jacket into finally seeing his son. Joyce had refused to have anything to do with to do with anything refusedhave to had Joyce finally his seeing son. her a show He’d restaurant. the robbing he was caught him after Depoe she to where Bay over get to had he Somehow two. or thing hadn’t even seen a picture of him in the five years he had he been in years him in the five of even seen a picture hadn’t of thought at up well tears felt him? He look like Did he prison. nice figure in the mirror. He brushed his red hair back pompadour back redpompadour hair brushed his He in mirror. the nice figure knew for He out. working were things thinking that smirked, style, prison. to back going wasn’t he that sure fixed that. There were plenty of shirts to pick from; he picked out picked he from; pick shirts to of plenty were There fixed that. even He collar. down striped shirt a buttoned white with and a red a cut 5’ 11” frame pockets. His zippered with jacket a tan found and Wesson .44 Special under some T-shirts. There were two boxes two boxes were There T-shirts. Special .44 some under Wesson and upthe roll He needed to fit. of sort clothes The well. as shells of a belt but too big, inch an about was the waist and legs a little pant clothes were what he wanted at the moment. He went straight to to straight went He the moment. at wanted he what were clothes $50 in about the dresser, of top on money found the He bedroom. a Smith found and clothes for the drawers searched small He bills. the cut. A little cut hadn’t changed anything; he had just walked just had he anything; changed hadn’t cut A little the cut. would They farm. prison the Oregon detail at the work from away in a change and money gun, some A now. him by be for looking shards and crawled into the house. “Shit,” he said, as he saw blood saw he as said, he “Shit,” the house. into crawled and shards on sucked and mouth to his hand his put Paul the floor. on drops sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 172 wild alongwild fence the line. Night was coming he saw Ahead soon. field.the Paul felt hidden well bushesthatthe by blackberry grew ofcase roadblocks. on foot and not far from penitentiary. the was about robbery the an hour ago. The con was assumedbe still to Luckily owner the wasn’t home at time. the The estimatedtime of house and stolen an undetermined amount of money and apistol. about con.” escaped the done. Turn on radioandifwe the can see hear what is happening work.” off totable parts theneed get before those Mom gets homefrom She wants do. all milked, they to be We gotta dochores, and you history.military like an to be aeronautical engineer. He had apassion also for sophomore incollege, and science liked math, thought he would Mark blond, was thin, with aflattop sixfeet tall haircut. He was than work on his car and race. lettered inwrestling, and didn’t know what he wanted to doother consistency and precision. Dave wasschool, asenior inhigh his hobbies was ET drag racing. He was amaster of required the Dave was always working on his 35Ford 3-window coupe. One of rebuilding two Stromberg 97carburetors on dining the room table. hypothermia.” locked three people up cooler. inthe The waitressfromalmost died for prison the farm runaway,” said Mark. approached barn. the aroundwalking inside with aflashlight. His steps quickened as he faint light coming from inside It barn. the looked as ifsomeone was were driveway, inthe a‘49Merc and a‘35Ford coupe. He saw a outbuildingsthe were painted white with ablack border. Two cars a farmhouse surrounded by awhite picket fence. The house and Mark picked up he was reading abook for hisclass. history Thelatest that was news conthe escaped had broken into a “Keep your on shirt for God’s done be I’m when sake, Iwill “Dave, Ican hear Bubble’s bellowing Goldie out by barn. the Dave and Mark were brothers about two years apart. “Damn it,” Dave said, as ascrewdriver slipped. Dave was “Armed robbery. He robbed arestaurant inPortland. He “Sure what thing, was he infor?” asked Dave. “How about that cop car that went are they by? looking Bet A black and down white road the on cruised other the sideof sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 173

arm.” “Mark had had “Mark from Dave’s Dave’s from the sight ofthe sight the bone protruding protruding bone almost fainted at fainted almost “I mind, but anything to humor a nitwit.” a nitwit.” humor to anything but mind, “I willdo the milking you and you from ‘nitwit’ “Another their heads putting in single the barn file into came cows The Everything was wet from the thick fog, and it was almost almost was it and the thick fog, from wet was Everything “All right, I’m going.” Dave got up, tipped his chair over, over, chair his tipped up, got Dave going.” I’m right, “All “Sounds like propaganda to me. Retreating Retreating me. to propaganda like “Sounds really.” not “No, belly.” a yellow was he you, did I tell “What do chores and go let’s Dave, it, Damn a nitwit. you’re “And Dave, “Have you heard of of heard you “Have Dave, Why?” not. course “Of for famous is “he said, Mark “Well,” work on a plan to save the calf. Mark was starting to teach the teach to starting was the calf. Mark save to a plan on work Mark treated the animals as he would his best buddies. He couldn’t couldn’t He best his buddies. would he as the animals treated Mark be the calf would that hoped Mark see to them mistreated. stand would He the slaughterhouse. to go wouldn’t and the farm on kept into their wooden stanchions. Not one of them tried in the of get to one Not their wooden stanchions. into calf in his pen. young the put Mark a fight. cause and one wrong by yourself.” yourself.” by the chicken coop and into the barn. Dave said, “Let’s keep the lights the lights keep “Let’s said, the barn. Dave into and coop the chicken It’llcows and the be fun by flashlight. chores do and the off mind.” won’t soldier, he didn’t even let out a whimper. even let out didn’t he soldier, past fence, picket in the white the gate through they as went dark last year by seeing how high he could swing, then letting go. It was was It go. thenletting swing, high could he seeing how by year last the of the sight at fainted almost had Mark fracture. a compound a tough was Dave contrast, In arm. Dave’s from protruding bone bucket. He hurried out the back door, the screen door slamming slamming the screen door the door, back out hurried He bucket. Theythe walked down him out. followed he as behind Mark shut arm his broken had Dave where swing walk, the rope past cement before Goldie explodes.” Goldie explodes.” before grabbed steel the stainless and the kitchen, through stomped retreating and living to fight another day.” day.” another fight to living and retreating battles?’ win any Did he sissies. for is General Nathaniel Greene?” Greene?” General Nathaniel in retreating, yet causing the British the British causing yet in retreating, pain. a report about a famous Revolutionary Revolutionary a famous about a report He Greene. General, Nathaniel War skill the General’s by intrigued was He was doing extra credit work, writing writing work, extra credit doing was He sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 174 barn window.barn There was a sharp rap thewindow. on Mark and of hit bucket milk metal the just as he saw ashadow appear at the mouth intocoaxing calf’s the formula. the Mark heard stream the from to drink calf abucket, letting suck calf the on his fingers and You stay here.” back and help my brother.” Dave jerked M1from the Krauss’s hand and said, “I’ve got to get other. Krauss was aWWII veteran and aretired repairman. shoe porch in withfirmly his M1rifle one hand and a lantern the in crossed road the and met Krauss was who standing on his front to his left, sprayingtrunk with him splinters.Dave keptrunning, sprinted to old man Krauss’s house. Abullet slammed into atree and for head street. the Dave didn’t question Mark’s command. He Thethem. con hesitated for a momentwhensaw he Dave turn cops. the Markcall could hear con the upafter running walk the garage. the behind crashedThey out throughbarnthe of the picket fence gate and up his pitchfork and turning around with Dave right him. behind into next to “Run wall them. the for it,” Mark yelled, dropping single file, Mark A leading. shot rang out thuddedtheand bullet narrowthe passageway that into led machine the shop. They went you.” marched They down the endto barnthe of and intoturned out,called “Hey you better say something. We’re coming after three-pronged pitchfork. David picked up apiece of Mark wood. Mark. He whispered, “What are we going to do?” bawl, looked up at Mark for another lesson. drinking cows chewing hay. leaned Thecalf against pen’sthe door, let out a Mark yelled out, “What doyou could hear want?” they was the All machinethe shop door, door the opened then and banged shut. out As there?” if to answer Dave’s heard they call, bolt the slide on stool with his against head cow the as he milked.He “Who’s cried, overglided and switched on lights. the Dave sitting was still on his but intruder the had moved on. He put his finger to his lips and pointed his flashlight thewindow at in an attemptwho see it was, to darknessthe through window the at end the of Mark barn. the at eachother. by door the and alight scurried Somebody pierced Dave could hear movement along sideof the looked They barn. the Krauss, holding lantern the him,said, behind “No you don’t. Mark yelled at Dave to off take the to neighbor’s house and Mark whisperedback, “Follow my lead.” He picked up a Dave picked up his stool and bucket and came over next to sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 175 Paul tried to keep his eyes open. He thought it odd that he he odd that it thought tried He eyes open. his keep to Paul Mark jabbed the gun barrel though the window sending glass sending the though window jabbed the gun barrel Mark Nothing happened for what seemed the longest time. He He time. seemed the what longest for happened Nothing Mark made it into the house and locked the door. Luckily the Luckily the locked door. and the house into it made Mark Dave didn’t argue but commanded, “Call the police.” “Call commanded, but argue didn’t Dave and the trees to next staying house his toward back went He bushes. prison. to back going wasn’t he sure was He anything. feel couldn’t backwards, arms flayed out, eyes wide as the first slug smashed into into smashed slug as first wide the eyes out, flayed arms backwards, and his kidney through plowed slug The second breastbone. his the into face down fell He him 180 degrees. turning back his out slumped against the wall holding his arm. his the wall holding against slumped conjerked The other. thenthe barrel one first fired tinkling. He He thought about getting a chair when the yard lights came on on came lights when the yard a chair getting about thought He of by corner stoodthe con The a yell. and a shot was there and who was Dave at pointed pistol in the light, outlined the garage thought about making another run for it. Where would he go? go? he would Where it. run for another making about thought and Dave. cops the for He wished left. had the escaped con Maybe His heart was beating so hard he thought the whole world could could world the whole thought he so heart beating hard was His in a crack peered through eyes and his from wiped sweat He it. hear the curtains. house was dark. He grabbed the double-barreled shotgun from the from shotgun grabbed the double-barreled He dark. was house cartridges. slug in two shoved and open it broke in the parlor, rack by the Merc where the switch for the yard light was. He heard a heard He was. light the yard for the switch where the Merc by his whilemoving at snap the aim took and raised the rifle He snap. theswitch. to elbow bushes along the side of the driveway. Mark must have made it into into it made have must Mark the driveway. the side of along bushes the garage of the corner to came He the con? was Where the house. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 176 At some point, Ispoke while to aclient, some other lawyer called about ne by cases. their one, Irepresented eachbefore judge. the took eachone out to conference the room outside court to the talk my One bag. by one, out Icalled my clients’ names. One by one, I aisle to counsel the table where Icould pull my stack of files out of went into court. the Martha looked up, talked, gave and me a half-smile They nodded. to your friend.” clean and you’re doing Thanks good. for telling me, and luckgood one shoulder to other. the “I am happy so you to see finally got As she spoke, she punched air the above her head. some let could They melead do good. groupthey the of meetings.” counselor once told abunch that of addicts ifIcould drug dogood, to treatment the center that Iwent to. I’m like poster the child. The apartment. Ihave jobnow, agood too. Isometimes evengo back weight. When Irepresented her, she was super-skinny. She was dressed inconservative clothes. She had gained some Martha.behind here with my I’m friend. girl here to offer support.” don’t have afile. other clients. all bag, Ihate it aclient when shows up at court and I anraised eyebrow. “What’s going Ithought on?” of in files the my in three or four years. “Hi, Martha,” Isaid. “It’s you.” niceto see I my lawyer?” I followed afterthem into the court room, but walked the up Her staring at had who been friend, her own while shoes “That is fabulous,”really said, I shifting my bag files of from you,”“Thank said,she one hand on her hip. “I have my own “That’s fabulous,”said. I “Yougreat.” look great.She didlook “I don’t dothat anymore,” she said, shaking her head. “Oh good,” Isaid. “I’m happy to hear that.” A chubby woman with alarge inababy toddler stroller stood “Oh, don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not inany trouble. I’m just I turned. Martha Jarlsberg me. behind stood Ihadn’t her seen “Hey Doris! You’re my lawyer, right? Imean, you to be used Martha Reformed by Andrea Garland sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 177

“Stole the ice cream truck?” I said “You didn’t steal the ice didn’t truck?” the ice cream “You I said “Stole to dope it the “I sold she said. Doris,” you, told I what “That’s “Really?” said. she anyway,” it, to guilty plead me made “You We took off. I rolled up the windows, because the air because the up windows, the rolled I off. took We the ice when I stole “Remember said. Martha Doris,” “Hey “You’re not kidding,” Martha’s friend said as she got in got friend she as said Martha’s kidding,” not “You’re to?” I asked. “Where friend “Thirty-third said. South, Martha’s apartment,” an “It’s I said. “Okay,” “It’s a hot day,” I said. day,” a hot “It’s “Hey Martha,” I called. “You guys want a ride?” want guys I called. “You Martha,” “Hey trouble.” no it’s sure if you’re mean, “I said. Martha “Yes!” okay I’m hurry. real in no “I’m I said. downtown,” going “I’m As I drove by the bus stop, I saw Martha and her friend and friend her and and Martha I saw stop, the bus by I drove As I walked out to the parking lot, threw my files in the trunk threw my lot, the parking to I walked out “Hey, thanks, Doris,” Martha said, as she and her friend stuffed friend her stuffed and she as said, Martha Doris,” thanks, “Hey, man for some dope.” some for man cream truck?”cream I said. you,” from stolen got it Then it. rented truck. You cream like cigarettes, and some other scents I could not place. I rolled the I rolled place. not I could scents other some and cigarettes, like air. let in some to just a little, again down windows conditioning had finally started working. They smelled sweaty, Theysweaty, smelled working. started finally had conditioning three-fifty West,” three-fifty the car. the car. seat. My trunk was too tiny, plus it was full of stuff. Martha’s friend Martha’s full was stuff. it of plus trunk too was tiny, My seat. behind her, to next sat in the middle Martha in the seat. back sat seat. passenger the front the toddler into my daughter’s car seat behind me. There wasn’t an wasn’t There behind me. seat car daughter’s my the toddler into passenger the front on it so stuck we the stroller, stow to easy place with a detour.” with her chubby friend and the baby all stood at the bus stop, sweating sweating stop, the all bus stoodat the friend baby and chubby her sun. in the summer baby, waiting for the bus. I shaded my eyes and paused by the bus the bus by paused eyes and my I shaded the bus. for waiting baby, sign a just was stop-it the shaded bus shelter any or trees No stop. Martha, a even bench. wasn’t There the curb. on in concrete stuck could. First it blew hot. I had to open all the windows into the one the one into all open to the I had windows blew hot. it First could. day. degree hundred a new date or something-have no idea what. I finished my calendar. I finished idea no what. something-have or a new date soon I as as conditioning the air on I turned in the car. got and Martha’s friend to the podium and did something with her case, got case, got her with friend something did the podium to and Martha’s sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 178 “Plus now it turns out you were guilty on that time, the Iguess I all cases.” Ilookedrear inthe mirror view at Martha. Ilaughed. larger deal,” Isaid. “We really didn’t have any defense on your other was pretty nice, himbuying you that lobster.” lobster, Ithought which day wasthe odd, after “That Thanksgiving. her Drop-Inn inthe I called Motel, and she said she was eating to her aboutspeak day the cases, after her drug Thanksgiving. that year you represented me.” weren’t for good eachother.” to Martha’s Inodded friend. arrests those all at you time the were with him,well, Iguess you at stay least they clean for awhile. Ijust thought that since you got not bad. There’s all programs, someoneand if has adrug problem, of influence abad on Martha.” sure he points. has his good At time, the Ijust thought he was kind tha’s frowned. friend change alook. call.”made agood “He brought me alobster,” Martha said. “It was for Thanksgiving Martha interrupted “He her friend. didn’t get caught, but he “It wasn’t just interrupted. friend him-”the “He someone-” knew Martha to started say. “How to Istarted ask. didhe -?” “He stole it,” Martha said. “Huh?” Iasked. “He didn’t buy it,” Martha said. “I remember that,” Isaid. Ididremember. to I had called I turned. “Oh,” Isaid. “Well, lots of people go to prison. It’s “He went to prison,” Martha said. “Uh, huh,” Isaid, watching traffic asI waited right. to turn “Hey,” Martha interrupted, “We were just for bad eachother.” said. friend the “Bad influence?” “Why, she was -” “Oh,” Isaid, looking at mirror. inthe friend the “Sorry. I’m “He’s her brother,” Martha said. “No, he sure wasn’t,” said, her shaking friend her head. “He wasn’t bad,” all Martha said. “Excellent,” Isaid. “No offense, but bad he wasnews.” Mar “Real good,” she said. “I left Jonathan.” In rear the mirror, view Isaw Martha and ex her friend “So, how are things going now?” Iasked. “Oh yeah,” she “You sighed. did.” “Well, Iguess we could have gone but to trial, it of was part a - - sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 179 - “They were“They none of them all smiling but looked at looked me.” - “No, really, Doris. You’ve been great. We really appreciate the appreciate really We been great. You’ve Doris. really, “No, need to “We friend said. Martha’s neighbor,” is a “That guy “It’s just up here,” Martha said, pointing to an apartment apartment an to pointing said, Martha here,” up just “It’s a hot “It’s I said. door,” your to up taking mind you don’t “I “Turn here,” Martha said. said. Martha here,” “Turn dirty, All wore the corner. stood on a woman and guys Two “I’m with someone now who doesn’t do anything like all like do anything who doesn’t now someone with “I’m eyes. friend her her rolled I thought but sure, not I’m to next right area, residential in a sort-of were We I slowed. “Oh, I know,” Martha said. “My sobri “My said. Martha I know,” “Oh, her give her I think I saw but sure, not I’m then said, she important,” “So friend head. her shook Her “Your sobriety is important,” I said. I said. important,” sobriety is “Your “He took some charges for someone else,” Martha’s friend Martha’s else,” someone for charges some took “He him, though,” with back getting not “I’m walk before I go in and feed Jayden, here.” She put her hand on the on hand her put She here.” feed Jayden, in and I go walk before talk to him to get the key to her apartment. Martha forgot it this it forgot Martha apartment. her the to key talk get him to to a of bit too because I need a little here out need get to We morning. day.” said. um,-” Martha I need to, ride. But, though.” She indicated the corner, just across the apartment drive the apartment across just the corner, indicated She though.” around. standing the people three from way frowned. here, stop can “You my car. from yards twenty-five building, loose-fitting jeans. The woman had long downstringy partedlong hair had woman The jeans. loose-fitting I back. friend waved Martha’s car. our at waved the She middle. some railroad tracks. It looked poor but sort of new and in okay in okay new and sort of poor looked but It tracks. railroad some repair. that,” Martha said. “He’s a church guy.” a church “He’s said. Martha that,” leaned over and fussed with the baby. fussed the baby. with and over leaned ety is so important.” ety so is important.” kick. friend a little for awhile. You just got each other into into each other got just You awhile. for together.” were when you trouble “He’s not a bad person, but you need to you a bad but person, not “He’s sober totally who is be someone with try just alone or living abiding, law and Martha said. said. Martha sent him to prison.” to him sent Christmas.” before just out gets “He said. got caught later. He picked up too many retail thefts and and they finally thefts retail too many up picked He later. caught got sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 180 She came up to front the to get stroller. the Irolled down front the toddler’s head. She was already unstrapping him. could see me. I imagine I’ll see Martha me. see atcould Iimagine see I’ll court again pretty soon. her thumb around closed something. Iwaved again, just she so Martha looked up. She there. noticed Iwas still She gave abig wave, whatsee it was. Ihonked and waved my hand out window. the fivedwhofriend, now her handedsomething to Icouldn’tMartha. like Martha handed something to man the small had who high- as Idrove by. chipped, his complexion greyand acned, high-fived Martha’s friend smiling but none of looked them at skinny me. Atall guy, his tooth street to two the guys and woman on corner. the They were all luck.”doing well. so Good of car the seat. “Yeah, thanks,” she said. windows. I stopped at stop the In sign. rear the mirror, view it looked Martha and smiled waved. She and crossed the her friend “It you was niceto see again,” Isaid. “I’m to hear glad you’re Martha’s got friend out, around walked and Jayden pulled out forride,Doris,”the“Thanks said, Martha as she got out. I stopped car. the sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 181 by Paige Kimball Paige by (a story about a boy sent into the wilderness) into sent a boy (a story about Diamond in the Rough in the Diamond But the wilderness held surprises. There were others there. others there. were surprises.the wilderness There held But Everyone cried that first night apart—the boy under his his apart—the under boy night first cried that Everyone the first boy at and on, dragged nights passed and Days “They’re throwing me away,” he thought. “Like a holey shirtholey “Like a he thought. away,” me throwing “They’re knew was he parents his that was realize, didn’t the boy What When they explained their plan, the boy flew into a tizzy. He a tizzy. flew the boy into their plan, they explained When left him in wilderness,the the boy when parents his But “This is serious business,” and theythey decided, devised a “Thisbusiness,” is serious There once lived a boy who forgot his own value. He became own value. his forgot a who boy lived once There Others like him. Others who wanted to help. And even dogs to love love even dogs to And help. to him. Others whoOthers like wanted watched the signs and landmarks into the wilderness. For the the wilderness. For into landmarks and the signs watched were feet his painful, and was begun; had it scrubbing and tumbling very cold. very, swallow past the lump in their throats. the lump past swallow having run to home, plans escape, to Plans head. in his plans made crude shelter in the snow, and the parents under their warm, silky their warm, under the parents and in the snow, crude shelter and alone, so small felt The boy slept. one No home. back sheets to hard was it though their tears, swallow to had the parents and was actually priceless. Like a rough jemstone, they knew he must be they knew must he jemstone, Like a rough actuallywas priceless. shine. to scrubbed and in order tumbled or an old pair of socks, they’re throwing me out with the trash.” the trash.” with out me throwing socks, they’re of pair old an or He newstuff. brand Or even stuff. old than valuable more much didn’t look so tough anymore. His shoulders were hunched, his his hunched, were shoulders His look anymore. so tough didn’t feet. his near somewhere heart lying his was and empty, was stare ranted. He raved. He shouted naughty words and pounded his fists fists his pounded and words naughty shouted He raved. He ranted. of car. the out jump tried even to The the dash. boy into It was a fall day like any other, except that the boy would not be not would the boy that except other, any like a fall was day It in the sky. brewing was storm a terrible and back, coming boy forgot how to smile. to how forgot boy a ride. they for the boy took the holidays, before days Two plan. angry and confused, and every time he looked in the mirror, he saw saw he everyangry and confused, in the looked mirror, and time he His floor. bedroom his on junk of the pile than less worth someone the before long wasn’t it him, but tried help their best to parents sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 182 a bit. As snow the and blew his stomach grumbled, boy the began before. cracked They thoughts, his open and straightenedthem out to.and talk to survive. he Inneeded there fact, was everything who lovedwho himmost whole world. inthe wide cracks, boy the was happy, sandwiched two the people between hurt his parents’ old joints, and snow tumbled inthrough the under atarp, safe from fury. the And thoughfrozen the ground stormthe boy in.The blew andparents his sardines snuggled like through junipers. the And just into nestled as they cocoons, their locked away for long. so that night, and parents the were For glad. boy’s their had heart been impressionable hearts. bonding through pain the of numb fingers, smokeeyes, filled and rolled across sky. the like talked They brothers, like family, untilthetalked fire They burned into ashes theand Milky Way to celebrate, things to ponder, and things that fixing. needed about had discovered things the they boy’s inthe head—things woman, and somemen sat wise with too. them, talked They washeart burning, too. themselves around fire, the boy’sthe parents secretly hishoped glowingthe thing until it aflame. became warmed Andthey as createda weeof they speck dirt, an ember together. They blew on he spark. made anew With his sticks and his parents strength, and spark of hope inside. And boy the when finallygathered himself, boyShe inhis flood. asked him histo identify feelings, to find a loved and hated, at all same the time. coats. their boy Thesoaking andparents his hugged andand cried And like then, areal boy, His he cried. tears fell like awaterfall, he’d by made all himself, with nothing more than acouple of sticks. boythroughthemhim. The the lead rocks theand snow to afire that just they might love him,too. and evengrateful for people had the who thrown himaway. and beans. Grateful that for tarp covered dirty the his at head night, to feel grateful. Grateful for awarm sleeping Grateful bag. for rice As boys the marched off inaline,whistled thebed wind to Something about softenedall wilderness their the of hearts That night,the boys other joined them the fire.at wise The womanA wise with reached dreadlocks out to troubled the blustery day,One especially boy’s the parents came to see He he realized just might love And them. he began to suspect showedOthers boy the things he had never considered sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 183 **An account of our first visit to Eli at Elements Wilderness at Elements to Eli visit first our of account **An They hoped one day the boys tears would would be the joyful kind. tears the boys day one Theyhoped One of the wise ones took the parents back. Over rolling Over back. rolling the parents took the wise ones of One His parents layered on their high-tech warmth, and the boy the boy and their warmth, high-tech on layered parents His Sleep was fleeting. The arctic chill bit them in the night. But bit inthem the night. arctic chill fleeting.The was Sleep still air was the but had eased, blowing the light, first At camp. January 2010. January camp. The kind that cleared his eyes and helped him to him seehelped a and jewel when his eyes cleared The kind that the mirror. into looked he in a snowdrift, tears freezing onto his windblown cheeks. cheeks. Left him his windblown onto tears freezing in a snowdrift, and the sticks, the fire-making and the the smoke dirtwith and they were. priceless how just the boys teaching wise ones white hills and fields of frozen sage, to they back sage, rumbled of frozen fields hills and white boy Theystanding lefttheir drive. four-wheel old in an civilization learn-how-to-be-real place. Though a day and a sleepless night night sleepless a and a day Though place. learn-how-to-be-real of carry weeks to the coming a token them through seemed hardly do. to have would it winter, with pity, knowing the comforts that would soon envelop them. But them. But soon envelop would that the comforts knowing pity, with his theyhad wilderness The become knew place. this their boys was soul-polishing, heart-opening, head-cracking, His place. growing slipped into his wool pants and mittens, now soaked with sweat soaked sweat with now mittens, and pants wool his into slipped pinched were The parents labors. his the grime of and smoke and polishing hurts. And the boy knew he was beginning to shine. He He knew shine. beginning was the to boy he And hurts. polishing loneliness the and trying, keep ache the through even must knew he offer. surely would days the coming bitter, more so because the parents were leaving. They lie in their leaving. were so because the parents more bitter, why discussing morning, the cold welcome to bags, unwilling in moments of slumber or perhaps imagination, they dreamed of of they dreamed imagination, perhaps or slumber of in moments smelled something that home in a warm together loving and living cookies. chip chocolate like sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 184 apparent that Koreans the invited us inside. These were older before Ifelt people toand close these God. Republicthe Greg and Iwere there to protect. appeared as toold be as structure. the were Others no younger than was implied by wherelived. they group The ranged in age.Some building were dressed plainly. didn’t They exhibitthethat wealth in front of door the way. The Koreans who around stood the woven brown cloth. Theregroup was asmall peopleof gathering with and red door trim way had asmall covered with acoarsely bushes and trees, none small than building. the taller a building to right the of trail. the It by stood itself among the Training. About three quarters of way the to summit, the Inoticed upeasily trail, the afterthe many mornings of PT, Physical from downtown, it was inapark of same the name. We walked Aspan. Standing 790meters above city the of Taequ and 4.5km worshiped with, and Itook ahike up anearby mountain called stationedwhile inKorea. that experiences Iwouldthese is to ahike never Itook lose choose opportunitiesthe and Iwould experiences have missed. One of Army. Imade wrong the Sometimes, Ithink choice. consider Ialso University for next to nothing. to enter Ichoose United the States had another taken road. Ihad chance the to go to Arizona State and others not Iimagine good. what so life would like ifI be We were greeted warmly and through hand gestures it was Greg and Igreeted elders of group the inour limited Korean. Even though it was differentfrom anything seen had they the They cloth whenopened opening, Greg and Iwalked up. The spiritual nature the of place awed me. The small building was about fivefeet bysix. white It was “Okay.” “Let’s it,” go see Isuggested. “It like looks it might atemple.” be “What’s that over Iasked there?” Greg. In early the summer of 1989,Greg, another I who soldier I sit and consider choices the that Ihave made some good Getting Lost: FindingGetting Myself Lost: by Michael D. Whitworth sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 185 “It’s gotta to be bigger than New York City.” said Greg with a with Greg said City.” York New than be to bigger gotta “It’s Phoenixsurprisedus. wasn’t Taegu of both of sheer size The We stayed a while longer before saying our goodbyes. The The goodbyes. our saying before a while longer stayed We The picture impressed me. For some strange reason, it reason, strange some For me. impressed picture The the before in a small group gathered members family The Long fingers of incense burned next to the tapers giving the giving to burnednext the tapers of incense fingers Long An offering of fresh fruit sat high in front of the statue. The statue. of the high in of fruit front sat fresh offering An The first thing we saw in the gloom of the interior was a interior ofthe in saw the gloom we thing first The They statue. of the burned in front candles votive were There In my heart, something settled. I felt at home and at peace at and home at settled. I felt heart, something my In inside. already people other six joined and accepted We hometown. All we could see from the peak was the city. There was was There the see peak All could from we the city. was hometown. slow southern drawl. southern slow my than populated densely more was Taegu small. However, side of Taegu. The city of Taegu stretched out as far as they could as far out stretched Taegu of city The Taegu. side of see. trail was lush with green vegetation. When we reached the summit the summit reached we When vegetation. green with lush trail was see could eastern the we whole line, the tree above the mountain of altar, their hands clasped in prayer and bodies rocking in rhythm to to bodies in rhythm and rocking clasped prayer in their hands altar, their incantations. in the photo, much as I had felt with the soldier that committed committed the soldier that with felt I had as much in the photo, think to me it touched It the trauma. without in basic, but suicide a deceased of relative. photo a memorial was well dressed in a shirt and tie, clean shaven with each hair in place. each hair with shaven clean tie, in a shirt dressed and well man the young with a kinship felt I immediately soul. my touched room a musky but pleasant aroma. On either side of the Buddha the Buddha side of On either aroma. pleasant but a musky room color a altar ofthe On left side the flowers. a small fresh vase of sat was He the array. male completed Korean a young of photograph placed small dishes of rice, kimchi, and cups of homemade beer as homemade of cups and rice, kimchi, of placed small dishes Buddha. to the offerings fruit was not the normal fare I had seen in the market stalls. It stalls. It seen I had in the market fare the normal fruitnot was also Koreans The anywhere. blemishes no were perfect. was There gave a supernatural light to the scene before us. The Buddha glowed Buddha glowed The us. the scene to before light a supernatural gave bronze its within from seemed come to that ethereal sheen an with skin. Buddha, about two feet high against the far wall. The smell of wall. smell The the far high feet against two about Buddha, feeling. a timeless the building wood old gave and incense with these generous strangers. strangers. thesewith generous respected the Americans for their part in repelling the North the North their part in repelling for respected the Americans their country. of saviors as and Koreans Koreans that still remembered the invasions from the North and and the North from the invasions still remembered that Koreans sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 186 I pulled sacklunchesI pulled that mess the squalor of city. the a beauty to view. the The distancethe hid were my know teachers.never will the They impacthad they on Koreans worshipped Him. despite Iknew God the differences Icould the see God. in howthe Iwantedto experiences. new felt to Ialso learn. presence the of into large the courtyard. inshapewas and perfect color. There were doorsseveral opening This temple waslarge and open. had also moreIt freshthatfruit different either. He welcomed us as warmlythe familyas before. amonk.stood He wasn’t dressed like most people but he wasn’t that This one was older and more formal.Outside the of temple,there touristthe or day hiker than previous the trail. steep. was a bitscenery different The too. It was more groomed for four hours to reach bottom. the second Thetrail was longer but less follow trail, this Imean it’s going right the way.” we were lost. continued our hike. Afew minutes into we that realized walking, pungent kimchi and offeredsome to Greg,who refused. then We Greg expressed with abit of surprise. station there. purchased from drinks gondola the than room temperature. We also sandwiches were slightly warmer had preparedhall for us.baloney The In that one afternoon,so many Ilearned things. Manypeople I hadn’t to Buddhism form. inthis exposed Iwas open been About way half down, we saw asecond Buddhist temple. We were wrong. both It took two hours to get to top the but “It works for me. It can’t uslong take too to get down.” “We came from that direction.” said Greg. “Why don’t we just “Where heck the are Ichuckled. we?” We ate our lunch. By Ihad time developed this ataste for the “Yeah.” “Yeah, but too.” is good walking the “Well, to know. good There’s a quicker way down.” “I have up here been afewand times never saw before.” this “We would have alot missed by that taking up,” Iretorted. “I didn’t know there was agondola,” Arriving Greg at peak, and the learned somany people were my people were things. Many afternoon, I “In that one “In that teachers.” sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 187 Sure, I made mistakes. Some have altered me in ways I do regret. I I do regret. in ways me altered have Some mistakes. I made Sure, I today, but choices, my of the consequences with live to continue a thing. change wouldn’t me. I wouldn’t be the same without making the choices of my past. past. my of the choices making be without the same I wouldn’t me. sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 188 needs hisneeds coffeeeveryday. saysHe cannothe livewithout that! could not go without that.third The the coffeeis maker. Brent iron. We like both waffles. second The the is hand mixer. Idefinitely appliances we brought with us to trailer. the The first isa waffle and NEVER to get Iwill not used having one. There are threeonly forused, fear that brown the water might pipes. freezing inthe start Brent got it fixed, we had to easygo fresh the really on water we our brown water (used) froze. tank For three or four days, before underneath and trailer the insulate pipes the water the because in are heated by propane also. In December, Brent had to get week. In summer the time, propane only costs $10.00aweek. oncetanks aweek. winter, the During it costs $25.00to $40.00a oventhe much very it because costs much. too Wethe fill propane temperature adjusted just right. inthere,Sometimes things freeze it because is hard to keep the a lot of room to store stuff, in our especially propane refrigerator. ever since. Park where Lois, another of Brent’s aunts, lives. We’ve there been parking arecreational vehicle on apublic street. We moved to Rose wewhen got a48-hour notice. has Glendale an ordinance against Brent’s Aunt Janene’s house, but we had to move aftertwo weeks water water inthe We tanks. were inour (old) new home! out trailer the of storage,thetwo filled propanetanks, and put we could at apartment, the until we were evicted. was minimum wage at twenty hours aweek. We stayed as long as ofAll asudden, we had no money except what Iwas which making, complex where we lived. When he lost his job, we lost our home. worked, as a maintenance man, for the past 6 years at the apartment I’ve amicrowave used oven for at least twenty-five years, We have abathroom toilet, with asink, and shower, which stove,Our oven, on and run propane, furnace too. Idon’t use We shop few days we for because don’t every groceries have We parked our inGlendale, trailer Utah, on street the behind We have that atrailer instorage has been for years. We got Brent and Ihave together for been ten years now. Brent Back to Basics by Karen Larsen sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 189 We are embarking on a series of adventures and looking looking and a series adventures on of embarking are We In the trailer, everything has its place. If things are not put put not are things If everything place. its has the trailer, In positively to the next thing that comes along. I would not trade my trade my not I would along. comes that thing the next to positively are. we where matter no in the world anything for Brent with life this to be happy as long as we are together! We are in it for the long the long for in it are We together! are we as long as bethis to happy haul. back right after being used, it gets all messy, and it’s hard for us to to us for hard it’s and gets allmessy, it used, being after right back but space much isn’t There in the trailer. living I like around. move than more much need really don’t we that out finding I’m cozy. it’s sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 190 and forms, and of in all Iwould them love you. I would replenished be and renewed, molded into infinite shapes For water is fundamental and everlasting. would love you for eternity, You’d melt into me and we’d merge into same the person and I You’d into settle me and then, I’d comfort you yourclosed eyesto its warmth. you passion the So could flames see inthe through me as you I’d wrap myself around you, water protecting you from fire you earth. inthe buriedthem I’d elevate you as you soared on wind and the I’d your cool feet as youRelease from it, and you what could see living really feels like. I would flowthrough you frompainthetakeand you, I would you, free my love. back bitter memories. It wouldn’t cast faintest eventhe wisp of asmell that would bring you thought you heard I’d it far so away carry it wouldn’t evenexist as an echo of asound That washes away sadnesstheyou’ve everything and ever feared. I want rain the to that be cleanses you, that close so Imelt into you. Ican caressSo your faceand patterns the learn of your skinand be I want rain the to streaming be over you The raincascading down your facelike tears. intoI look your eyes,but you’re things Ihave seeing in, no part itLet go itLet go, my love sorrow the I see pulsing from you inbursts. puddlingRain around your feet, around you Standing quietly of middle inthe vortex the as chaos the swirls yourClose eyesand world letthe flow away retreats tide ocean the Like from it’s lingering kiss to beach, the Hold my still love, and your close eyes. Hold still Hold Still, by Jackie Skinner or Rain sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 191 sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 192 Action Center,andinteractingwiththewidevarietyofreaders Scott Aldrich writing group. Shirley Fifer long distance.Ihighlyrecommend thisactivityforeveryonetoenjoy! reading booksoverthephone withmygranddaughtereventhoughitis personal journaling)beforethis year.Itisaveryfunadventure!Ienjoy Elizabeth Ernstsen a blackdog. Randy Eggert who isdeaf.Thegetintolotsoftrouble! year-old boynamedDallas,whoispsychic.Hisgirlfriend isAnna, Steven A.Dame Brooks, AliceWalker,BobDylanandLeonardCohen. Drage Garrett married for28years. of occupationsbutnowconsiderswritinghermainjob.Shehasbeen Crookston Fran lives bythebeliefthattheyjourneyisasimportantdestination. Burke Meg fun exploringthecreativeworldofwriting,shortfictioninparticular. John Boles whoes peice“LittleGirls”appearsinthispublication. Denise Bell Yakima, Washington.ShehasbeenlivinginUtahfor16years. Arbogast Marlene and aproudgrandfather. writers there.Heisajackofalltrades,fathertwobeautifulgirls,

, afterretiringfromalifeinthetechwordBoleshashad isamemberoftheVeteran’sAffiarswritinggroup enjoys mentoringtheKing’sEnglishWritersGroupand

is theco-mentorandfounder oftheAvenuesCourtyard is aUtahnativewhoenjoysvolunteeringatLiteracy teacheslinguisticsattheUniversityofUtahandowns ’s favorite authors include Poe, Dickinson, Gwendolyn haslivedinSaltLakesince1976andheldavariety I’m writinganothernovel.Thenarratorisa15 ismarriedwithason.Shehousekeeperfrom

I neverthoughtofwriting(otherthanmy Author Bios sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 193 The Blue I am from the state of Alaska. I have worked I am from the state writes and farms in Bountiful, Utah.

is a homeless and agitated author. enjoys writing fiction novels and poetry. Inkcraft enjoys writing fiction novels and poetry. is a co-mentor of the Friday afternoon Literacy is a co-mentor of the Friday afternoon is a 13 year old, eighth grader at Clayton Middle is a 13 year old, eighth grader at Clayton I’m a retired programmer/analyst. I lived in the San I’m a retired programmer/analyst. is a founding member of the Avenues Courtyard is a founding member is a member of the Columbus Writing group since is a member of the Columbus Writing has been writing ever since she could read. She loves she could read. She writing ever since has been is an aspiring novelist with a love for fantasy and young and young for fantasy a love novelist with aspiring is an (2010) is her first collection of poems, and she also writes Giraffe children’s stories. She works as a psychologist in a healthcare setting. loves steampunk, horror, gothic and Victorian literature. loves steampunk, horror, gothic and Victorian JanuaryKatherine Jonnathon Hardy A. Nikki Inkcraft 2009 and an avid reader of anything that catches her attention. She 2009 and an avid reader of anything that fiction. She has been a huge loves to write sci-fi and especially fan fangirl since her discovery of Joss Whedon. this publication. Nikki Hammer Margie Gilmore “No More Belts” is featured in Action Center writing group. Her piece School. He is sharing his experience and feelings by submitting his School. He is sharing his experience this opportunity … now do story. Besides, “You don’t always get you?” hiking, photography and art. hiking, photography GilmoreJoseph David Goodale I like writing, for 40 years and three years in Utah. Francisco bay area Andrea J. GarlandAndrea J. defender. twelve years as a public MaryM. Fuller the peices “Sixty Years” and “In Business, writing group whose appear in this publication. Generic Pronoun ‘He” fantasy and is currently working on a novel, as well as artwork and well as artwork and on a novel, as is currently working fantasy and musical composition. adult fiction. He also plays a lot of video games. of video plays a lot He also fiction. adult Frost Rachel Jaron Frost Jaron sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 194 Peggy Kadir are featuredinthispublication. JoAnna Johannesen started golfing attheageof48inSaltLake City,Utah. Paul S. Loya and activitieslikeridingFront RunnertoOgden. member oftheUniversity UtahOsherLifelonglearningprogram Diane C.Lockard dog loverbesidesabooklover. and ispursuingadegreeinEnglishatWestminsterCollege. Sheisa Literacy ActionCenter.ShehasanAssociate’sDegree from SLCC, Cyndi Lloyd African Cockatiels.Writinghasturnedherlifearound. five years.Shehasthreecockatielbirds.Twoofthem are grey Julie Liljenquist http://chrysramblings.blogspot.com. at: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/2589.Youcanalsovisit the intimacythatexistsbetweenafatherandchild.Sample/purchase Christine Lee learning towritestories. Matthew. Shehaswrittenpoetryallofherlife,andisjustnow Karen Larsen She hopesthatwritingclasseswillhelphertoachievegoals. Kinikini Stateki them. She hopesotherwillenjoyherimagesasmuchsheenjoyscreating Paige Kimball piece “EmotionalArmor”appearsinthisvolumeof Kesler Barry finds equaljoyinwriting. equally dividedbetweenSaltlakeandBaghdad,Iraq.Apainter,she isaDiverseCityWritingSeriesMentorforthe isadescendantofMormonpioneers.Herlivehasbeen isawriterintheLiteracyActionCentergroup,whose

is arecovering drugaddictandalcoholic. He has isa58-yearoldwidowwith22yearson, Is theauthorofDAD,ane-bookpoemshonoring loves tocreateimageswithbothpaintandwords. is always working for money, but hasn’t got any yet. isafortyyearoldthathasbeenmarriedfortwenty- isaco-mentorforanopenSenior Writinggroup; pieces“IfBabiesCouldFly”and“Friends” sine cera . sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 195 The White Gurl Money. My name is Ms. Sadie. This is the

is a “Jill of all Trades,” voracious reader, loves reader, loves all Trades,” voracious is a “Jill of is a foundig member of the Avenues Courtyard is a foundig member is a member of the Literacy Action Center writing is a member of the Literacy Action Center is people oriented and thrives off of others energy. is people oriented is a member of the Palinca writing group whose peice is a member of the Palinca writing group works at Wade’s Automotive and with West High works at Wade’s Automotive and with loves to write, paint, cook, and have a good laugh. She laugh. She a good and have paint, cook, to write, loves is a member of the Literacy Action Center writing Action Center writing of the Literacy is a member describes herself as “rich and famous.” describes herself as is a wannabe writer from Salt Lake City. She loves is a wannabe writer from Salt Lake City. ’s play “The Mysterious, Happy life of Brown Bag” ’s play “The Mysterious, Happy life of Community Writing Center helped me improve my writing skills. Ms. Sadie (Catina Harper) Ms. name I like to use as a writer. I have been writing for 20 years. I have a book that is yet to be published called School’s Athletic Director. He likes to read and write, and also likes School’s Athletic Director. He likes to NASCAR and University of Utah football. “A Murder in the Switching Yard” appears in this publication. “A Murder in the Switching Yard” appears L. Rosser Paul group whose piece Yesterday and Today is featured in this publication. group whose piece Yesterday and Today Robert Rischel of Jane Eyre alongside Sean Bean. Pederson Rudy Evany Pace Evany one day to star in a production books, movies, and unicorns, and wants Greg Near won both Audience Awards produced by Pygmalion Theater recently at the local Page-to-Stage Festival. Dr. Joyce Murray Joyce Dr. Writing group. Tali Morgan Tali Nicole Milgate as very wise many trials, and has been described She has experienced and insightful . group whose piece “My Job Experiences” is featured in this “My Job Experiences” is featured in this group whose piece publication. the outdoors, people and animals. people and animals. the outdoors, Issa Mberwa loves to be around good people and loves life at 82 years young. at 82 years loves life people and good to be around loves Maassen Ramona Joyce Luttrell Joyce sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 196 outdoors. Shelovestryingnewrestaurantsandstylesofcuisine. writing. Shealsoenjoysworkingwithanimalsandspendingtime Jackie Skinner “My WWIIReport”appearsinthispublication. Ray Wright independent, publications. edition softhisanthology,aswellanumberlocalalternative, City forTwenty-fiveyears,andhasenjoyedpublication inseveral Series group“GayWrites.”HehaslivedandwritteninSaltLake J. PhillipWilkes Michael D. Whitworth anthology. Fantasia Ward’s who hasanexcerptofapersonalmemoirfeaturedinthispublication. Kelly Verdejo featured inthisanthology. Jill AmmonVanderwood tumblr.com. pathtoliterarysucess.blogspot.com andhttp://pathtoliteracyfailure. at bookstoresandcoffeeshops.Healsomaintainswww. Christopher P. Steffen “Essence Gifted”isfeaturedinthispublication. Annie Stakland isamemberoftheLiteracyActionCenterwhosepiece is amemberoftheVeteran’sAffairswritinggroup valuesthecreativityandfreedomshefindswith is a member of the CWC writing group whose piece isaco-mentoroftheCWCDiverseCityWriting piece“TheGirlWhoWasGone!”appearsinthis isalong-timememberoftheVAgroup. publises thezine“Legacy”available ’s piece“It’sAllDaddy’sFault”is sine cera: A City Devoid of Sharp Edges 197