IT’S DIABOLICAL. WEEK TWO EDITION | 11 March 2009

THE INTERVIEW FASHION SCANDALS AND RUMOURS >11 >21 >08 Gillian Ferguson, Recession- They’re Office for Women istas everywhere WEEK 2 EDITION | 11 March 2009

04 08 > Vivienne Egan takes us op shopping > Michael Krasovitsky and Alex Lee light up the > Christina Kenny explains the legal status of same sex couples in smoking debate in Head-to-Head Australia > David Cunningham on the world’s first gay emperor > Michael Krasovitsky vox pops innocent passers-by 05 > Sean Penn milks his acceptance speech > Bronwyn Cowell reports on the future of Law revue and discov- ers new ways to get a job after uni 10 > Michael Krasovitsky speaks to Gillian Ferguson, Director of the New South Wales Office for Women

12 > Mark Di Stefano, David Mack and Danika Ar- mytage have a gay ol’ time at Mardi Gras 14 > Looked hot on the weekend. Damn hot. >Aleksander Wansborough reviews Ways of Seeing by John Berger

20 > Patrick Effeney goes down to funky town with the Cat Empire > Natasha Kassam struts the catwalk on a budget > Claire Burke dons lederhausen

22 > Patrick Effeney reflects on a terrible week for cricket > George Downing infiltrates college

06 > Katherine Connolly interviews Film Studies powerhouse, Laleen Jayamanne > Sriram Srikumar explains the findings of the Graduate Destina- tion Survey > Tim Whelan gets vocal on patriotism and our cricket team > Matthew Cowley has an hour of happiness a week

EDITOR IN CHIEF Giselle Kenny EDITORS Will Atkinson, Katherine Connolly, Bronwyn Cowell, Mark Di Stefano, George Downing, Michael Krasovitsky, Alex Lee, Paul Mackay, Sriram “Srikaboom” Srikumar REPORTERS Aleksander Wansbrough, Jonno Seidler, Tim Whelan, Natasha Kassam, Patrick Effeney, Claire Burke, Vivienne Egan, Danika Armitage, David Mack, CONTRIBUTORS Christina Kenny, David Cunningham, Sophie Zhang, Dorothy Tran, Matthew Cowley COVER Paul Mackay GRAPHIC DESIGNER George Downing COMIC Sertan Saral and Patrick Magee CROSSWORD Mark Sutton PUZZLES Tom Clement

ADVERTISING [email protected]/PO Box 794, Broadway NSW PRINTER Marrickville Print and Design, Unite E1, 46-62 Maddox Street, Alexandria, NSW 2015

DISCLAIMER Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney NSW 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Mike Mackertich, Patrick Wall, Elly Howse and Samuel Moginie. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. *Spoof advertisement on page 10. Enjoy! Knight in shining ever strikes (assuming of course, That’s Abbott right said student volunteers stay with armour Oliver Lindholm, Business & their poor brethren and adopt the Jerry Park same subsistence diet). While there’s Economics, IV no guarantee the poor actually I am sure that it is very difficult The latest edition of “From the writing a student newspaper but I benefit, the volunteer tourist usually Vault”, featuring the sage words Sydney celebrated sexuality and was very confused by the ‘girl diary walks away feeling ‘enlightened’ or describing campus activism, ‘... gender this weekend, with the Mardi entry’ that was written by a male. ‘grateful’ for what they have. That’s Gras Parade on Saturday night and Is this an editorial oversight or an not to say that Westerners should marxist hobbyhorses of ultra militant International Women’s Day on Sunday. attempt at satire? not visit the ‘third world’, but don’t feminism, homosexual proselytism, and environmentalism gone to crazy In Honi this week, the feature kid yourselves - merely trying to help article looks at Mardi Gras in all its In either case, the diary was a quite doesn’t mean you do, and being rich lengths’ elicited a knowing chuckle dimensions, from political statement a stab at those poor media girls. enough to travel does not instantly on my part. This became a sobering to spectacular festival. The feature Malicious much? I’m sure many in give us authority on the needs of the experience when I realised that the interview is with Gillian Ferguson, the editorial team must agree purely words were Tony Abbott’s, written Director of the NSW Office for Women poor. about the continuing vitality of IWD. on a readership level. I don’t do media almost 30 years ago. and I didn’t think it was funny. My Unless the Honi Soit team has We prioritised our coverage of these friends do media and told me it was events, not only because it was timely interesting that such a pro-media been receiving kickbacks from Risottogate? to do so, but because gender and team would write such an arrogant the companies mentioned or is Daniel Richardson & Ellen Smith, sexuality are dynamic forces that and bitchy piece. deliberately eliciting letters like these Arts II constantly occupy society, politics and culture. These are not fringe issues that I could hardly tell the difference should be confined to the autonomous Anyway, I have to pick my battles between the article and any generic Noah, editions dedicated to exploring them. and this is not one I really want to travel brochure. When you first published your recipe fight. But I think your team would do for chicken risotto in Honi Soit (Ed. Each week, Honi strives to compile well to note that being arrogant and 23, 2008) you made it clear that content that is provocative, engaging and relevant. To do that, we cast a net self-important does not make good Typographically ‘SRC’, to you, stood for Shithouse as far and as wide as we can in our call reading. challenged? Risotto Chef. Having printed that for contributions. As editors, we rely same recipe a second time, you’ve heavily on input from brilliant writers, Unconvinced Rochelle Day, Arts III left us in no doubt that you meant photographers and experts. This Stubborn and Recalcitrant Cretin. edition is no exception, and we’re lucky Justin Penafiel, Economics IV The current layout and text format to have found such talented and willing of the paper is not needed for it to be contributors. We hope we’ve done We’re loath to reheat the “Risotto- them justice. As they say, there’s nothing noble taken seriously. The average Arts stu- gate” scandal, but repetition of such about being poor, but your feature on dent spends a lot of time skimming irrelevant material is indicative of We hope you enjoy this edition, and volunteer tourism makes it seem like through course readers and would your inability to fill column inches that you keep contributing! the noblest endeavour in the world. actually read some of the essential with anything meaty. The student articles if we weren’t already blinded body, having read your recipe, is now Giselle Kenny by staring at text laid out neatly into Sure, your volunteer tourist has left with another two minute blow out columns, font: Times New Roman, on their hands. While they reach for sacrificed their oh-so-precious size: 8 and 10. time and money but the mere the Kleenex to wipe this mess up, we suggest you take a long, hard look at presence of a well-meaning twenty- You have strived for a ‘revamped something Anglo does not instantly the stiff challenge ahead -because if look and feel of the paper’s layup’ risotto is all you’ve got Noah, “We’re constitute a saving grace for the and it appears boring and stale. En- going to fuck you up ... you’re going poor masses. If anything, those poor courage us to engage with Honi by to be fucked!” kids are probably spending precious using some colour and God forbid, kilojoules communicating their real text that appears anything but Times Unlike your risotto, Presidential wants and needs to said volunteers, New Roman-esque! responsibilities are hard to keep catering to their Western standards, down. The question is Noah, will you SEND LETTERS & or providing first aid if and when spit or swallow? CONTRIBUTIONS TO Delhi Belly or Montezuma’s Fury [email protected]

Only submissions with your recent “Freedom Ride” of Sydney the front of picture theatres and were name, year and faculty students, who toured N.S.W. coun- denied access to the public baths in will be accepted. try areas in a bus last February to many towns. Mr Perkins was him- study Aboriginal conditions and self denied access to the Moree pub- draw attention to their needs. lic baths after admitting he was part Aboriginal. Other speakers at the symposium Students’ Representative Council Students of the University of were Mr. Bill Ford, lecturer in Eco- Mr Spiegelman mentioned in his The University of Sydney Sudney have for many years nomics at the University of New address that Nowraville picture the- actively involved themselves in South Wales, the Reverend Ted atre would now be closed down for On all campuses indigenous issues. In this edi- Noffs of the Kings Cross Wayside six months in view of Aboriginal Main Campus ASK ME torial from 1965, we hear about Chapel, and Mr Jim Spiegelman, determination to integrate after the Health Science Dentistry ABOUT the famous activist, Charles secretary of S.A.F.A. S.A.F.A tour. Nursing Perkins, and his budding cam- Sydney College of the Arts paign for Aboriginal rights in Mr Perkins said that a definite class Editorial, published in Honi Conservatorium of Music the late sixties. system was developing and harden- Soit, Commemorative Edition, • Centrelink Advice ing in country areas. “Ninety-eight 1965 • Tenancy Advice Mr. Charles Perkins, leader of the percent of the Aboriginal popula- • Academic Appeals Student Action For Aborigines cam- tions have never got past second • Show Cause paign, said last Wednesday that year” he said. ‘They have the poorest • Exclusion another Congo could be created in jobs and live in substandard condi- • Harassment Australia in 50 years if action was tions. Their “homes” are in shanties • Legal Advice not taken over the Aboriginal situa- miles out of town without water or ...and much more. tion. electricity.” www.src.usyd.edu.au Mr Perkins was speaking at an Ori- Mr Perkins said the Aborigines are 02 9660 5222 / 0434 998 630 entation Week symposium on the forced by council regulations to sit at [email protected]

>03

Honi’s Guide to... Op Shops Viv Egan gets cheap and stylish.

Anglicare at Summer Hill sells its good money. Same goes for things that clothes at $5 a kilo. don’t quite fit: chances are it never will On the eve of their Australian tour It is also worth noting that op shops – vintage clothing in particular has have finely nuanced characteristics. different kinds of shapes to the clothes Bono of U2 fame has called Cold- The quality at Vinnies is quite variable we have now. That said, chopping play’s Chris Martin a wanker and as each store collects its goods locally. clothes up can be worthwhile. I have a cretin. His children, Apple and Vinnies in Balmain, for instance, is a great skirt which was once an ugly Moses staunchly agree. quite classy (and charge accordingly), nana dress, and a fab short acid-wash so the general rule of thumb is the less denim skirt that used to be an ugly calf- This year’s Archibald prize has affluent the area, the less awesome the length acid-wash denim skirt. been won by Guy Maestri’s clothing. The Smith Family is usually painting of ARIA award win- excellent for vintage and also for brand- I didn’t find anything! ning blind aboriginal singer new clothes, and marks down regularly Don’t give up. Truly great op-shopping Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunipin- and ruthlessly. Salvo’s tends to be a requires patience and diligence. Make gu. Yunipingu did not attend friends with the people behind the mixed bag, but their big warehouse the ceremony, claiming that The Smith Family. style outlets (Tempe, Ashfield and counter: they can help you out with Blacktown) can produce wonders if what days new deliveries get in, or it would just be teasing, but is So you’ve made it to Sydney Uni. You you have the energy to search through when sales are on, and may even keep heard to have found that the got the marks, you have your books and kilometers of racks. an eye out for things you might like. painting “feels just like me”. you’ve figured out where your classes The $25,000 Wynne Prize went are. Congratulations. But something’s I’m here now. Where do I start? I have all this rad stuff now, but to Lionel Bawden, for his work wrong: your attire. Sportsgirl and Time for rifling through all the racks. I’m afraid to wear it. titled The Amorphous Ones General Pants just won’t cut it: chain It can be intimidating if you’re used (The vast colony of our being), stores are out, op-shop chic is in. to things matching and occurring in a Don’t be! Be bold, people will rate you a sculpture which also took out What’s that? Never set foot in an op- range of sizes, but this is the challenge for it. Don’t go head to toe 2nd hand, shop? Fear not! Here are the answers the $25 Chris Martin prize for of the 2nd hand bargain hunter. And you may look silly. Let 2nd hand and Wankiest Name in the Compe- to common questions asked by first- it is a hunt. Make sure you look in the store bought clothing frolic together in timers: windows, in baskets and behind the your wardrobe; try adding a great scarf tition. counter, they are often repositories for or hat to your regular attire; braces Where do I go? King Street? Surry treasure such as jewellery and other with pants or a skirt look hot; a vintage In the past week, Victoria and Hills? accessories. Check out stuff that’s not shirt with jeans or a funky skirt with a Western Australia have been hit No! These locations are home to necessarily made for you: I have a great plain t-shirt. by earthquakes whilst Cyclone overpriced “vintage” shops seeking to shirt which was a small boy’s pyjamas. Hamish rages in Queensland. misappropriate your habit of spending It has a pattern of zebras on it. Thanks Honi! Now I have Inner- Fred Nile claims that Sydney $50-100 on a single item. Venture West op-shop cred! has not been spared the wrath further afield for student-friendly of the Lord having been recently prices: Enmore and Marrickville This is hilariously 80s! Should I You’re welcome. Roads are home to some cheap and plagued on the weekend by a buy it? swarm of gays. eclectic places; further still in Burwood, No! Not unless you’ve got a specific Campsie, Rockdale – even as far as occasion to wear it. It will sit in your in Blacktown – bargains abound. wardrobe and you will have wasted Following an accusation from the Labor Party that Joe Hock- ey stole everyone’s lunch mon- ey in Federal Parliament last impacts for same sex couples- a they may visit your house and ask week, Kevin Rudd and Federal person in a same sex relationship can to interview you. You can however request that the interview be held at Opposition Leader Malcolm now register as a ‘partner’ for hospital Turnbull have pulled out their visits, both mothers or both fathers a Centrelink office, with a support can now register on a child’s birth person of your choice. big guns and both written mean Rights for Same certificate and where one member essays about each other. Po- of a couple moves into an aged care Remember, the Centrelink criteria for litical commentators fear that Sex Couples facility, the house they have shared what determines a couple are what if any more nasty words are Christina Kenny looks at Rudd’s with their partner will no longer be an matter- financial interdependence, traded between the two, Rudd representation to others as a couple, recent reforms. ‘assessable asset’ i.e. the house cannot will get his big brother to beat be sold to pay the care bills of the your commitment to each other, your up Malcolm after school and person in care, which used to leave social relationships and whether you Turnbull’s mum will give Mrs their partner homeless. are in a sexual relationship. Rudd a call on the weekend. However, for students and others If you are assessed as being in a de receiving benefits from Centrelink, the facto relationship and owe Centrelink changes present some challenges. The money as a result, you will be asked to most important of these is that from repay the money, and in very serious 1 July this year, everyone in a same- cases, may be prosecuted for fraud. sex relationship that is a ‘de facto Know your rights. If you think you relationship’ receiving a Centrelink might be in a de facto relationship, seek benefit or payment will need to declare independent legal advice. The Welfare this relationship to Centrelink. This Rights Network provides social brings social security payments for security law advice and representation It’s no day at the beach same sex couples in line with those for as well as free online resources. Check heterosexual couples. out http://www.welfarerights.org. au/pages/selfhelpbooklets.aspx for After the tabling of the Australian information. Human Rights Commission’s Same Couples typically receive lower Sex Same Entitlements Report allowances per head to reflect the Christina Kenny is a Policy Advisor to (http://www.humanrights.gov.au/ idea that couples living together can the Policy, Programs and Research human_rights/samesex/index. save on basic and recurring expenses Unit for the AIDS Council Of NSW html) and advocacy from several gay such as rent and utilities. If you do and lesbian rights groups, the Rudd not declare your status to Centrelink, All views expressed here are her own government has changed more than and they subsequently believe you and are not the views of ACON or the 60 pieces of Federal legislation to to be in a same sex relationship, you Welfare Rights Network. This is not redress discrimination against those will be subject to the same serious a legal advice. Always seek specialist in same sex relationships. consequences to which heterosexual couples are currently subject. legal advice if you feel you may be affected by these new laws. Free legal The reforms are wide ranging and advice can be obtained at Welfare cover areas as diverse as tax and This includes investigations that may Rights Network offices, or through superannuation, aged care, family law include Centrelink officers asking your other community legal centres. and social security. The vast majority family and other people you know of the reforms will have positive whether you present as a couple, and >04 Law Revue goes it alone Sydney’s got talent Bronwyn Cowell reports on law revue growing up and moving out. Bronwyn Cowell thinks you need to get a job.

hold ACCESS cards is creating Students are put in touch with problems. Usually one of the most employers across nine different well-funded of the revues, law revue professional sectors, including not- gets a fair chunk of its money from the for-profit organisations, and also have contribution of around $100 made by access to Sydney Talent’s learning and every cast member. Carmen Culina, development scheme, where they have a chance to learn skills they’ll need for Will law revue lose its appeal? former director of the show and now SULS secretary, points out that current and future employment. Following a recent decision by the the additional burden of holding an Union, the Law Revue has ceased to ACCESS card effectively doubles the Jobs presented to students never be an internal event organised by the amount required for a law student to require more than 20 hours/wk of Sydney University Law Society (SULS) participate in the revue. work and Sydney Talent negotiates for and is now a standalone society in the market rates of pay with the employer. mould of all the other faculty revues. Further to this, law revue is going to Anyone from any year can apply, need to overhaul its selection of the whether you’re in first year or final The decision to have the two societies executive, including the directors. year, and the program is also open to part ways was made by the Union In previous years, directors applied international students. partly for pragmatic reasons. Now individually or as a pair and a selection that it is a separate Union society, the committee comprised of the SULS The SRC expressed concern last year law revue as a performing arts group President and past directors made that students would be prevented attracts tax benefits that it could a decision, which was then voted on or dissuaded from joining the union not whilst still under the auspices of by the SULS executive. Union rules That’s talent. in their workplace if the placement SULS. More than that however, the demand that executives of its affiliated was found through Sydney Talent. It A new employment program has Union has been a large contributor societies be elected democratically by is not clear if this has been an issue officially commenced on campus this to the law revue kitty each year, and the membership of that society. for students working in positions year. Sydney Talent is a fully owned was apparently of the view that if such currently, nor have the SRC and subsidiary of the University that acts money was going to be spent on law There will be a meeting held in the Sydney Talent come to any formal as a link between students looking for revue, the Union should ensure that first weeks of semester to finalise understanding on the issue. jobs and employers. Begun as a pilot the revue’s members all hold ACCESS the constitution which is currently program last year and successfully cards, as is required of other revue being written, and an AGM will be If you’re interested, visit their website placing 300 students in employment, societies. held in around week 5 to ratify that at www.sydneytalent.com.au or visit Sydney Talent has set up shop in the constitution and officially welcome the them on campus. Jane Foss Russell building. The Union requirement that all new society into the fold. members of its clubs and societies

>05 High-flyers CAREERS Sriram Srikumar sifts through the Graduate Destination Survey Finance (24%). After a slightly longer degree, however, 80% end up in full- time employment and only about 15% pursuing an Honours degree. Philosophy of Happiness; a The median full-time pay for the cohort disturbingly new age name for a was $49 000, making them the best paid superbly relevant and every-day graduates in this survey. applicable area of study. Good news to be found for everyone here, including those that love bad news. The Bachelor of Economics program is logically populated by Economics To begin with, the theory (yay....). majors (90%) as well as Finance (25%) The classic theories regarding what and Econometrics (20%). Around 58% (or if) this painfully abstract notion end up in full-time employment, with we call “happiness’ could possibly exactly a third going onto full-time study be include; hedonism - happiness is including 15% doing a course-work pleasure, the more pleasure you can have, to the more happiness you have, Masters. a great school to subscribe too when validating the use of any favoured party It seems they don’t all rush to the RBA, drug; desire satisfaction - happiness however. A little over a quarter work in relates to maximizing how many Investment services with just over 10% desires you can satisfy or alternatively keeping your unsatisfied desires to a View from the bottom Accounting (52%) or Finance (45%) with working with the Federal Government. only 3% of B. Comm students enrolled manageable low, in the first case an The University of Sydney participates in International Business. Only a slim excellent argument to make if you’re The Bachelor of Economic and Social a high flying billionaire, the latter in a survey of its recently graduated majority of students (53%) go onto full- Sciences (since removed from the E&B is favoured by the buddhist monks students to find out what they’re time employment at the end of their Faculty) seems to be the black-sheep, among us; subjective well being or doing, where they’re doing it and (all degree, with around a third pursuing with 75% majoring in a political science life satisfaction theory - the post- importantly) how much they’re getting full-time study in another degree or their subject. With exactly half going on to modernist favourite that supposes paid to do it. The Graduate Destination Honours year. immediate full-time employment, 43% our happiness is integrally linked to Survey is completed on a voluntary basis go onto further study including exactly a how we are dispositionally inclined to with a few hundred respondents so while Very unsurprisingly, those that do work interpret events i.e. your happiness is third into an Honours year. all about mentality, focus man focus! it’s not comprehensive, it gives a good mostly end up in Accounting services guide. (22%) or the Banking and Finance sector Working destinations are disparate with Field study results return with some (18%). The median full-time pay for the the Federal Government, investment interesting findings into activities Honi trawled through the most recent surveyed cohort was $44 000. services and even scientific services all that may or may not be helpful survey (2007) of graduates from USYD’s attracting graduates, with a median pursuits for making yourself happier. Economics and Business Faculty. A Bachelor of Commerce/Liberal Studies wage of $41 000. Unfortunatly money is not a great student is pretty similar, with focuses indicator of happiness (“can’t buy me loooove”), correlation between money A student enrolled in the Bachelor of on Accounting (35%) and Finance and happiness tends to be negligible Commerce is likely to be majoring in (26%) majors and working in Business/ once your demographic surpasses the truly poverty stricken right up until we hit the Times Top 50 richest list. So if FIRE you’re banking on capital, aim for the UP stars baby, because near enough just ain’t good enough. The good news for the conservatives Being unpatriotic is uncool is that Religion and Marriage are Tim Whelan takes one for the team. excellent indicators of how likely to be I’ve been troubled lately. And for finest ever bowlers, and, incidentally, This side, which just lost a series on happy you are, both groups are 40% more likely to rate there happiness now, the financial crisis and that our two finest sledgers. Hardened Australian soil for the first time since as “extremely high” than us de facto suspicious lump can wait. It’s come to batsmen quailed before their verbal the Triassic era, is afforded somewhat heathens. The good news for the my attention recently that a small but assaults well before any leather was less grace. I’ve counted three collective depressives is that you’re almost twice toxic group of people in this country flung at them. When England batted, bayings for Ponting’s head since as likely to predict outcomes of events are less supportive of the Australian they could do little more than, well, lie November last year, and about nine or accurately, adding weight to the suspicion that happiness might just cricket team than they used to be. back and think of England. ten since he took the captaincy in ‘04. be all about deluding yourself anyway. Meanwhile, we’re told, the Australian As for kids, don’t even think about Every time an Australian cricketer Then there’s the off-field antics. team is in disarray, with Simon Katich it. Married couples with kids report takes a disputed catch, makes an Warne’s travails on Ashes tours are and Michael Clarke beating the snot markedly lower levels of happiness unsavoury sledge or so much as the stuff of infamy. I guarantee you out of each other, while the lovely right up until the kids are in their 20’s (re:leave home) where they rapidly glowers at the bloke who dismissed that if Peter Siddle or Marcus North Lara sits at home, depressed and catch up. Save yourself the pain guys, them, pages 1-19 of the sport section had texted a nurse on something lonely over Clarke being away hitting seriously. And no matter how much are filled the next day with whiny not overly pertinent to nursing, they stuff and earning money. you feel you need the space, a bigger invective, garnished with alliterative would be court-martialed and given house will only lift your mood for gems like ‘arrogant Aussies.’ their marching orders before you There appears to be only one solution about a year or so, then it starts to look all too familiar again and you’re could say ‘Hang on, that’s an flagrant to this - extending the sedition laws all stressed out by wanting the next Let’s put things in perspective. People double standard’. Not Warne. He lost to include criticism of the Australian one. have shunned the team and its the Australian vice-captaincy (the cricket team. I hate to sound jingoistic, members on grounds of arrogance, highest token office in the country it’s ‘my country, right or wrong’ on The authors verdict on how to stay cheating, being poor role models after the Governor-General) for his this one. Unpatriotic curs. happy: be a prozac popping preacher, married, living in a small share-house and having dibs on Lara Bingle. trouble. in a developed nation with no kids Understandable on all counts. What HAVE YOU GOT BEEF? who spends all his/her money on grates, though, is the fact that none The bastard’s an Australian icon. Email [email protected] holidays, adventures & spa retreats. of this was a problem while we were Why? He could bowl. He brought Oh, did I forget to mention it might winning. Shane Warne and Glenn home the silverware, even if it still all be coded into your genes anyway and you’re just stuck with yourself? McGrath were probably Australia’s two smelt of beer. Encouraging, no?

Matthew Cowley

>06 At the movies LECTURER INTERVIEW Katherine Connolly orders a choc top with Film Studies lecturer, Laleen Jayamanne Oh no they didn’t. 3. What’s the strangest thing Gaffeman regular, Italian Silvio Ber- that’s ever happened in a The typical student joins up thinking lusconi whispered to French President tutorial? film studies is a soft option but realise Nicholas Sarkozy in a confusing but suggestive mix of French and Italian by the first lecture that they should during a press conference, “Me, I gave At Wollongong University I was fasten their seatbelts – it’s a bumpy you your woman.” What he probably explaining Saussure’s theory of the ride. And though they might think at meant was, “I note that your esteemed wife was born in Italy, which is also linguistic sign when a student stood first that they don’t like film theory or my homeland. My congratulations on up and shouted ‘This is bullshit. Nicole Kidman, they are fans of both this.” Gaffeman speaks your language, Bullshit!’ and stormed out. by the time I’m through with them. Silvio. Queensland Opposition leader More than twenty years later I actually 6. If you could have any other Lawrence Springborg is well across think Klossowski’s theory of the sign job what would it be? the biggest issues facing Queen- as a manifestation of turbulence is slanders. After describing the glob- al financial crisis as a “peripheral” more applicable to the study of the Professional boxer. issue, he then noted that some jobs 1. What’s your favourite part of cinematic image, so there’s no hard are “denecessary.” Perhaps at the teaching? feelings. next election, voters will find you ‘denecessary’, Lawrence Spring- borg. Making students sit through 4 hour 4. What are your top 5 favourite D.W. Griffith films. movies? Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodri- guez Zapatero may have overcommit- ted his government to Russian Prime 2. What’s your favourite subject In no particular order - Minister Dmitiri Medvedev during to teach and why? 1) Australia by Baz Luhrmann (it a press conference. Zapatero noted, would be unAustralian not to see it!) in his native tongue, that “There is a big increase in the number of Span- Silent cinema. I feel like I’m re- 2) Practical Magic by Griffin Dunne ish tourists heading to Russia… we discovering film every time I see 3) Dogville by Lars von Trier have decided to sign an agreement to Lumiere’s train arriving at the station. 4) Eyes Wide Shut by Stanley stimulate, to favour, to fuck… to sup- port tourism.” Apparently in Spanish, And I like to monitor the student Kubrick ‘para follar’, meaning ‘to fuck’ is pro- response to the slapstick comedies 5) Kasbar by Kumar Shahani nounced similarly to the expression – from titters to belly laughs for ‘para apoyar’, meaning ‘to support’. Sennett, Keaton and Chaplin. 5. How would you describe the Being the Spanish Prime Minister, Gaffeman suspects Jose already knew typical film student? that, the sly devil. Oh Hugh. Stop.

>07 GOT A RUMOUR? History is full of interesting conflu- LET US KNOW AT [email protected] ences. Conveniently, the 11th of March marks both the edition of Honi touching upon the Mardi Gras, and the assassination in 222AD Bullfight? a mention of ‘sex in Fisher stack’ in Independents day? of the ‘gayest’ emperor that ever an article constituted defamation. there was, Varius Avitus Bassianus The management of USU’s weekly Not unless the building is especially Another independent, Pierce Wilcox Elagabalus. magazine, The Bull, is undergoing a sensitive, we guess? from SUDS is also said to be running shake-up with the recent resignation for Union. By Honi’s count, that brings However fraught might be the of the Acting Publications Manager, This lack of understanding about the total of independents rumoured problems of applying modern con- allegedly due to difficulties with the the nature of student publications is to be running to seven. Will the ceptions of sexuality to the past, El- Union’s new Business Development worrying, and it would be sad to see independent threat oust politicians agabalus checks off a whole scroll Manager. the format of The Bull tweaked by non- from Union board altogether? Only of stereotypes: Cassius Dio tells student marketers into something that time will tell… us that “He used his body both for There has been confusion amongst the has little ability to relate to the student doing and allowing many strange editors and onlookers in regards to body. Unfortunately, this seems a things.... he would go to the taverns the marketing department’s apparent distinct possibility. by night, wearing a wig, and there attempt to reformat and downsize the Election Watch ply the trade of a female huckster. publication: from becoming a monthly He frequented the notorious broth- publication, which was voted down on els, drove out the prostitutes, and For a union elections update, Courtney price concerns, to the notion of giving played the prostitute himself. the editors a budget to do as they please Tight is running Viv Egan. Scott – without actually specifying Brownless, an SRC councillor who Finally, he set aside a room in the what the budget might be. wants to run independent, and told Honi that he wants Doug Thompson’s palace and there committed his in- decencies, always standing nude The Business Development Manager job doing C&S. at the door of the room, as the har- has also been taking a hands-on approach to the magazine, apparently lots do, and shaking the curtain requiring the services of law firm which hung from gold rings, while Gilbert & Tobin to determine whether Take me to your leader. in a soft and melting voice he so- licited the passers-by. There were, of course, men who had been specially instructed to play their part.”1 In a society where “the cor- rupt and opulent nobles of Rome gratified every vice that could be Should smoking on campus be banned? collected from the mighty conflux of nations and manners; secure of I am. Not so for the smoker. banning smoking on our campuses impunity, careless of censure, they has nothing to do with my personal lived without restraint in the patient Whenever someone lights up on occasional cravings, but more to do and humble society of their slaves campus, they’re saying to those who with my right to choose when and 2 choose to be around them, “This filthy where I smoke. and parasites,” Elagabalus’ tastes smoke that I’m blowing in your face is really stood out from the norm for not only toxic, but it’s the smoke that Yes, smoking is bad for you. And creative raunch, including a stab my own lungs rejected! Breathe it in no, smoking doesn’t make you cool. (no pun intended) at perhaps the people! Breathe it in!” However, despite everything we know world’s first sex-change: “He car- about it, people do smoke. And this is You know sometimes, if everything’s entirely within their rights. Considerate ried his lewdness to such a point just right, having a beer on the smokers, who are careful not to smoke that he asked the physicians to con- Manning balcony can feel like an around non-smokers, should not be trive a woman’s vagina in his body entirely wholesome experience? punished because of their choice to by means of an incision, promising There’s the smell of the barbeque, smoke. them large sums for doing so.” 3 the sun is shining, and a light breeze is rifling through the pages of your Sydney University is a big place: if you textbooks. But ever since smoking want to smoke, move away from those A parting curio on the subject of was banned indoors, smokers have first years wearing I LOVE LUNGS gay marriages, we’re almost 2000 commandeered the once-charming tees. If you’re frustrated because years behind! “[Hierocles] was outside areas of pubs and I say it is people around you are smoking, just publicly invested with the title and Harry highpants time for us to reclaim them. stand, pick up your bag, and walk. Just authority of the emperor’s, or, as he walk away. The ban on smoking, either completely more properly styled himself, of The case for the empress’s husband.”4 Alex Lee or with designated smoking areas Surely, this is a simple enough solution? has worked in universities in the US, Rather than enforcing a rule on the Before I start, you should know that succeeding in not only making them university population that will clearly DAVID CUNNINGHAM I’m not one of those self-righteous safer and cleaner environments, but upset people and which infringes on non smokers. You know that person encouraging smokers to quit. smokers’ rights, we should all just become a litle more considerate. who feels the need to do the feeble 1 Cassis Dio, Roman History, “Pops, I’ve got the black lung” cough At USYD, a campus wide ban coupled whenever someone lights up. Shut up, with a university funded quit program A smoking ban on campus will not LXXX.13.2-3. 2 we all have our vices. will mean that in the long run, we can deter strong-minded students from Edward Gibbon, The Decline and all breathe easy. lighting up. In fact, by banning Fall of the Roman Empire, I, 149. It’s just that none of our vices are as smoking, many students may become 3 Cassis Dio, Roman History, pointedly obnoxious as those of a The case against compelled to take it up. A blanket ban Michael Krasovitsky is not the best solution to this problem, LXXX.16.7. cigarette smoker. When a junkie is 4 Edward Gibbon, The Decline and shooting up in an alleyway, he doesn’t nor is it a just one. make the person who steps over him Now for my disclaimer. I’m not a Fall of the Roman Empire, I, 148. addicted to meth. When I’m on my smoker, but I certainly don’t turn eighth G&T for the evening, I don’t down the occasional drunken drag. make you drunk and teary just because However, the reasons I am against

>08>08 Catriona Murdie 1. Honours in English 2. Faculty of Arts undergraduate queue 3. Shag: Bugs Bunny (he’d be a chilled lover), Marry: Pepe, Kill: Daffy Duck (that’s default because he’d be a dud SEAN PENN root) 4. Change the annoying call waiting YOU COMMIE, music on the Arts hotline HOMO-LOVING SONS OF GUNS.

Joanna Alessi

1. Science/Law IV 2. Christians, having their barbecue on Ash Wednesday, and for being generally annoying Martin Batoui 3. Shag: Bugs, Marry: Pepe (he’s such a romantic), Kill: Daffy Duck 1. Health Sciences (Physio) I 4. Move it next door! 2. Administrative lectures where all you do is read the course guide! 3. Shag: Daffy (he’s got that alpha male thing going for him, but he’s definitely not reliable enough to Vox Pops! marry), Marry: Pepe (I’d spend my Michael Krasovitsky kicks it with some randoms at Holme Building life with him), Kill: Bugs (boring and common) QUESTIONS Alice Kane 4. Nude campus! 1. What are you studying? 2. What or who has been the most 1. Science Advanced IV annoying part of Week 1? 2. Overexcited first years in stilettos 3. Shag, Marry, Kill: Bugs Bunny, 3. Shag: Pepe (French men, great Daffy 4. Duck, Pepe le Pew lovers), Kill: Daffy Duck, Marry: If I could change one thing about Bugs Bunny (You know he’s going to USYD, it would be... provide) 4. Timetables earlier!

>09 ADVERTISEMENT*

Title, HONI EXCLUSIVE title title.

Author text.

EVERY YEAR, THOUSANDS OF YOUNG AUSTRALIANS ARE REFUSED SEX BECAUSE OF PALE SKIN.

DON’T LET ONE OF THEM BE YOU.

>10 Great New South The finalists for the 2009 Welsh-Women NSW Woman of the Year Award

Michael Krasovitsky discusses International Women’s Day with Gillian Ferguson, Director of the New South Wales Office for Women’s Policy

International Women’s day was Of course, much has improved celebrated internationally on since then, but we still have Sunday 8th March. Honi talked some way to go to achieve equal to Gillian Ferguson, the Director opportunity for women, not only in of the Office for Women’s Policy, Australia but throughout the world. NSW Department of Premier and Cabinet. We asked her about the “IWD is about remembering the battles history of International Wom- long fought to build a society that is en’s Day, why it is important to- just and fair to all its members, and in day and what it aims to achieve. which diversity, tolerance, safety, social justice and equality between women IWD is an important occasion to and men is a given. It’s about activists celebrate the achievements and gains striving for change, raising community made by women and to focus on the awareness, and speaking out.” job still to do in working towards equality for women around the world. “This year’s IWD theme in NSW is “Women and Education”. Education Many issues of concern or inequalities provides the best opportunity for International Women’s Day 1978 are highlighted on IWD, for example, women to expand their career choices, the number of violent acts against obtain economic security and achieve Layne Beachley has made ma- nationally at meetings in wom- women, both sexual assault and do- their full potential. Education not jor contributions to surfing, and en’s health and holding many mestic violence; the only provides personal and has provided support, mentoring major leadership roles in the under-representation professional growth, it also and opportunities to young wom- public and private sector such of women in decision- promotes a just, civil society en through her ‘Aim to the Stars’ as her 10 years as Chancellor making positions; the in which issues can be openly Foundation and a range of spokes- of the University of Canberra. effect that time out discussed and debated.” person and ambassadorial roles. of the workforce and Pauline Plant established the lower superannuation The United Nations Rhonda French is a Wiradjuri Yamba Breast Cancer support contributions have on Convention on the woman who works and volun- group and Breast Awareness pro- women’s financial in- Elimination of All Forms teers to promote positive health, gram and is an active member of dependence; the dif- of Discrimination Against education and cultural outcomes the Yamba community where she ficulties experienced Women (CEDAW), of which for the Tumut Aboriginal com- participates in 10 local committees by women carers and Australia is a signatory, has munity as a Family Violence working on a variety of projects in working mothers, are recognised the significance Support Worker and as a com- addition to supporting World Vi- amongst the key issues addressed. of education in the lives of women munity leader and mentor in sion by organising other women by including educational equality as the Tumut and Brungle Region. of the Clarence Valley to knit chil- The history of IWD is a history of one of its goals (Article 10), urging dren’s jumpers for distribution. taking action. The event originated parties to ensure that women have Sue Ismiel immigrated from in 1908 when women garment the same opportunities as men in all Syria aged 15 and became one of Jan Savage is a volunteer fund- makers in New York demonstrated to aspects of education and training. Australia’s most successful busi- raising Co-ordinator for Cancer demand better working conditions. nesswomen and passionate phi- Care Western NSW who trav- They worked in appalling conditions, In order to further promote the messag- lanthropists, including donating els to many towns seeking sup- earned half of men’s wages, died es of IWD, the Office for Women’s Pol- to the Jean Hailles Foundation to port for rural cancer patients’ prematurely from poor health icy, NSW Department of Premier and fund a world first study into wom- accommodation needs, and she and didn’t have the right to vote. Cabinet offers grants of up to $1,000 to en’s health and hormones and is also Vice Chair of the Orange NSW councils and shires to work with work with charities helping women Health Council and was a mem- “In 1910 an international conference local community groups to organise an with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. ber of the alliance that lobbied of women resolved that each year event to celebrate IWD. Events include to bring radiotherapy to Orange. a day should be set aside to press information days, art exhibitions, film Patricia Johnson has been an for women’s demands. Since then screenings, marches and workshops. SES volunteer for over 40 years Ana Tiwary is Vice President of IWD has been celebrated around and averages 20 hours per week Women in Film and Television and the world each year on March 8. As part of the celebratory activities for of service. She has been involved has established the Media Mentor- From its inception IWD has stood for IWD, all NSW Government Ministers in some of the largest disasters ship for Women program which equality between women and men.” and Local Members were given the NSW has faced, providing assis- enables one to one relationships opportunity to nominate a woman tance to SES members in remote between industry professionals At the same time in England, for the award of NSW Woman of locations and committee work. and emerging female film mak- women were meeting and marching the Year. Nominations were also ers in order to create a support- to demand the right to vote. The invited from the general public. Rozita Leoni is a volunteer com- ive community and improve the Suffragettes adopted the colours of munity worker who, as a public status of women in the industry. Green, White and Violet to stand 2009 NSW Woman of the Year was housing tenant, member of numer- for their slogan “Give Women the awarded to Cheryl Koenig for her ous local tenant groups, and in her This year, the Premier also pre- Vote”. Since then these colours have commitment to raising awareness of role as Chairperson of the Eastern sented a Special Recognition been used to symbolise the struggle brain injury and her extensive work Suburbs Area Tenant Council, is a Award to the late Jane McGrath for women to obtain equal rights. in fundraising, writing the book Pa- voice for public tenants in NSW. in recognition of her work raising per Cranes: A Mother’s Story of Hope funds for breast care nurses and In Sydney, IWD was first celebrated Courage and Determination which Wendy McCarthy AO has raising awareness of breast cancer. in 1928 at a rally that called for equal chronicles her family’s journey fol- worked for over 40 years as a pay for equal work, an eight hour day lowing her son’s severe brain injury teacher, mentor, change agent for shop workers, no piece-work, a in a car accident, her dedication to and public advocate for women base wage for the unemployed and helping others and caring for her son. and the community, including paid annual holidays. Rallies and representing Australia inter- marches have been held throughout Australia every year since. This year’s Sydney march was held on 7 March.

>11 // HISTORY

Sydney Mardi Gras began as a night of political protest on Oxford St back in 1978. At the time, acts of homosexuality in NSW where illegal, any and all rights pertaining to LGBT (Les- bian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) expression was dealt with wide societal condemnation MARDI and in many cases violent hostility. Dozens came together on a chilly June day to commemorate the 1967 Stonewall Riots that had occurred in New York’s Greenwich Village – 2 days that went down in history as a mo- ment where a different sexual identity spoke up. GRAS June 24, 1978, was Australia’s gay community’s turn. As primarily gay men marched down Oxford St, passers-by could only stand with mouth agape at the overt display of sexualised culture. The local havens of Oxford, Bayswater and King Streets had always housed these cultures, but now it was being taken to the street. Chants such as “I’m out and I’m going all the way” caused local police to stop and approach the hypercolour crowd with temperance, but with ever increasing hostility. As police bran- dished batons, some onlookers reported that many of the male officers removed their badg- 2009 es to unleash a full physical assault. As queens and queers crawled bloodied and beaten //MARK DI STEFANO P R E S E N T S A W R A P O F away from the gay bash, NSW police made 53 arrests. MARDI GRAS 2009, WITH FURTHER REPORT- One year later, the events of ’78 fresh in the memory, Sydney’s LGBT community banded ING FROM PARTY CORRESPONDENTS D A V E together for a group of festivities called Mardi Gras, including a “Gay Alternative Fair Day” and the infamous parade through Darlinghurst. So, original founders were torn about the MACK AND DANIKA ARMYTAGE// purpose of Mardi Gras – was it a chance for LGBT rights to be annually thrust into the politi- cal spotlight, or was it more important to get fucked up and party down within a safe, accept- ing environment. // 2009 - NOT JUST A PARADE These tensions still exist as Sydney Mardi Gras is constantly evolving. In 1983, the festival Thought Mardi Gras was just about the parade, big papier mache heads and dancing was moved to the balmier month of Feburary. In1988, lesbian was included in the title of the boys? Wrong. festival, and by the 00’s New Mardi Gras (reborn after the previous administrator went into receivership) was chasing sponsorship dollars to support the money making event. Each year a theme and ambassador are chosen to define and encapsulate the festival. This year’s theme is Nations United; think bad stereotypes, cultural zeitegeists, a la Har- For over 30 years, Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras has performed a double act of vey Milk and an excuse to get into bright coloured speedos, while Australia’s openly holding a mirror up to society while simultaneous smashing it with a cackle and a scream. gay Olympic Gold medal winner, Matthew Mitcham, will lead the parade.

(On a side note, Mitcham picked up his first sponsor after sticking the greatest dive in history, It was Telstra; still Australia’s greatest carrier)

Fair Day was held in our Victoria Park on the 15th of February, and signalled the launch of Mardi Gras festivities. In ’08, 75,000 made the trip in to Uni, and this year pink wrist- banded groups of revellers wound a long line up and down King St, Newtown once more.

If you thought Field Day or Parklife were full of half naked men getting munted to dirty electro, well welcome to Harbour Party ‘09. Held on the 1st of March down at the great- est festival location in Sydney, Fleet Steps, Mrs Macquarie’s Point, Habour Party ’09 was all about Eurotrance, Ksubi zygote Sam Sparro and a sunset that caused many a revel- ler to jizz in their spandex. A party bus transported the revelry just round the bay to the Cross, and by all reports Trademark was torn a new one.

Other events that made up the 3 week festival included the Queer Screen Film Festival, Joan Rivers who brought the funny to Enmore, and Mardi Gras Sessions held at the Opera House. Where viewers were treated to quadruple threat Alan Cumming in his cabaret show, but musical The Wet Spots: A Midsummer’s Wet Dream, where the charac- In response to the criticisms Sydney ter of Bottom was… well, you know. Lord Mayor Clover Moore (a politically independent State MP) told Honi, If you thought Mardi Gras was a one night road closure fest, think again- you missed out “Over the past 30 years Mardi Gras has on 3 weeks of totally inappropriate, sexually anamorphous ecstasy. established itself as a significant hallmark event, which apart from demonstrating the value of community effort and volunteer commitment, generates over $45 million //THE PINK DOLLAR for the NSW economy.” As Mardi Gras entered ‘the mainstream’ in the 1980’s, marketers saw the chance to commercialise the previously community based and run festival. By the late 90’s Australian and international brands pumped millions into the festival chasing the new Pink Dollar.

Australia’s commercialized LGBT culture reached its zenith during this period. Think Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Sydney Olympic Games Closing Ceremony and Kylie Minogue’s tight rig.

The Parade also became increasingly politically charged – Natasha Stott-Despoja and Clover Moore forged LGBT social capital, LGBT and Aboriginal activists fought discrimination as one, police officers //LGBT WORLDWIDE and nurses marched against workplace laws, while John Howard’s head was being well papier ma- ched. A visit to Mardi Gras is an absolute once-in-a-lifetime must for every gay travelling man…Sydney is the gay capital of the South Pacific. Unfortunately since 2001 economic forces have threatened the spirit of the festival. In late 2001, the —Bruno Gmunder, Spartacus: International Gay Guide (1995) Mardi organization went bankrupt. A new planning group titled New Mardi Gras took over the reins, and ever since, tenured economic conservatives have made solid and measured results. As any backpacker would know there certainly exists a LGBT party circuit, with the Sydney 3 week extravaganza being a pivotal stop along the way. Like the This year marks the first where the NSW Government will inject taxpayer dollars into the festival. tennis Grand Slam circuit, each area around the world has a Pride event that tempts all types of surface specialists. Events NSW announced in September last year that they would pump funds into the festivals opera- tions. Not surprisingly the announcement from the Rees Government came with criticism from tradi- (Turns out that tennis players are gay icons, with a recent poll revealing lanky tional fans of the LGBT community: the NSW Liberal Party, Fred Nile and Piers Ackerman. Brit Andy Murray is “more desirable” than g-string, left armed freak Rafa Na- dal). I don’t feel like I need to repeat their remarks here. //Europride In response to the criticisms Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore (a politically independent State MP) told The World Cup of LGBT festivals, for up to a fortnight the international band of Honi, “Over the past 30 years Mardi Gras has established itself as a significant hallmark event, which traveling gays settle in a European city for rallies, AIDS vigils and a debaucher- apart from demonstrating the value of community effort and volunteer commitment, generates over ous parade. $45 million for the NSW economy.” Beginning in London 1992 the annual event draws millions of bodies and euros Ms Moore also claimed that the City of Sydney Council has been supporting the event for years, say- to the host city and will be this year in Zurich, where hopefully the Swiss will put ing “(we) provide $120,000 in cash and in-kind support including parks, banner poles, venue hire and on a very efficient show. marketing.” //Sao Paulo Gay Parade Federal Member for Sydney, the Hon. Tanya Plibersek, also confirmed Labor Party support for a state June. 1.8 million people. The biggest baddest gay bash in the world. funded Mardi Gras, adding “Governments have always supported major festivals – and Mardi Gras Get to Sao Paulo during mid year and revel in a culture that teaches the rest of certainly fits into this category.” the world how to party. “Apart from the terrific opportunity to promote Australia as a tourist destination, Mardi Gras showcases //Mykonos Island Australia as a place that is welcoming and worth coming to,” said Ms Plibersek. Not a parade or festival but an hedonistic geographic mass. Just make sure you pack your Bonds trunks, cheap Dolce Gabbana sunnies and Sydney-made With an economy headed for recession, and a rising unemployment rate, its good to see that the Pink MDMA. Dollar will continue to float all the way down Oxford St. >12 //THE PARADE The Herald estimates 400,000 people flooded Oxford St on Saturday to watch the annual parade spectacular that is Mardi Gras. I estimate that I saw every one of them. There were people everywhere: crowding balconies, clogging streets, hanging from trees and on street signs, perched on bins and upturned super- market trolleys and price-inflated plastic stools sold by opportunistic vendors. Our decision to try and watch the parade from Taylor Square was evidently a moronic one. Our ‘Media Passes’ were for the after party only, or so a very blunt volunteer obligingly told us, and meant we were nothing special until then.

Still, despite what little I actually saw of the parade while straining my neck over a burly drag queen’s shoulders, the night was a lot of fun. The roar of motor- bike engines heralded the beginning of the festivities: a procession of Dykes on Bikes roaring through the streets and dressed in various styles of leather. There were the obligatory divas miming to disco hits and the topical religious and political parodies, but the loudest applause of the night were for the most un- derstated marchers: police officers, fire fighters and other community workers.

The crowd itself was peppered with international accents giving new cre- dence to the theme of ‘Nations United’. There were the drunk English backpackers and bemused American students but, perhaps most inter- estingly, the busloads and busloads of middle-aged Asian tourists outnum- bered them all, gleefully snapping photos and posing with drag queens, in what must seem like a terribly unique and Western cultural event.

Our ‘Media Passes’ came good for the official after-party at Fox Studios, even let- “The Sydney University Arts ting Danika and I roam around backstage at one point and inflating our egos. The Faculty is possibly the most behemoth event was like an adults-only carnival featuring six different dance gay-friendly place in the world. venues each blaring what sounded like the same dance beat. Everyone was I happily report having never happy to pose for snaps when we said we were from Honi and the vibe was pretty experienced any kind of ho- tame despite the heavy police presence. That said, I left relatively early nursing mophobia in my time here.” very sore feet and having seen more than my quota of arseless leather chaps.

DAVID MACK

//RAINBOW LABOR There’s really the potential to learn how to What are you doing for Rainbow Labor at this HONI HAD A CHAT TO THE MAN BEHIND THE celebrate your sexuality when you go somewhere years Mardi Gras parade? RAINBOW WING OF THE LEFT WING, MICHAEL like Sydney Uni. VAUGHAN We’re running ‘Rainbow Labor’s Very Uncivil What are the positive aspects of Mardi Gras? Union’, under the slogan ‘The Next Step... Down What is Rainbow Labor? The energy, the community atmosphere, the level the Aisle!’. Everyone is getting in their tackiest, of visibility it provides to the wider community, most over-the-top wedding gear and demanding Rainbow Labor is the network for LGBT members the politics and the link it provides with our progress on same sex relationship recognition. of the Labor party. We’re here to celebrate the movement’s activist history. I’m really proud of the float this year. wins achieved for our community through Labor governments, and also push for more reforms What are the negative aspects of Mardi Gras? Some Gay and Lesbian students have mentioned where more needs to be done. And our community Do you wince at the commercialism of some that they frown on the parade as it “unnaturally has had a lot of big wins lately - federal de facto aspects of the parade? integrates two very different identities”, namely same sex law reform, lesbian co-mothering rights Often some of the positive aspects can also gay men and lesbian women. How would you on a state level... I believe that there are so many be negatives. While there’s a strong sense of respond to this comment, essentially that the different groups inside and outside the Labor community and high visibility, that often relies on festivities are an artificial combination of sexual Party that you have to be careful about claiming a restrictive brand of queer identity. I think there’s identities? these reforms as your own “achievements”. something ironic about a photo of four drag queens There are always problems constructing a queer with the tagline - ‘The City of Sydney celebrates “community” from the very diverse people within But Rainbow Labor has definitely played its part, the diversity of the gay and lesbian community’, it, and the biggest problem I believe comes from whether lobbying Nicola Roxon back when she considering how much of the community that gay men reproducing sexist behaviour in relating was the shadow Attorney-General auditing same leaves out. to the lesbian community. That being said I sex discrimination, or pushing for people to make believe it’s incredibly important to take a moment submissions to the recent NSW inquiry into same What is your favourite part of the Mardi Gras to recognise the common struggle for equality sex adoption. festivities? Parade, Harbor Party, Film Festival which we all share. etc? What is your experience being a queer student at I’m going to have to say the After Party, just Any truly diverse parade (or community!) doesn’t the University of Sydney? because it’s the best night of your life ever. Every seek to integrate the identities of gay men and I’ve had a really positive experience. I remember year. lesbian women, but to create solidarity between my first O-week being too scared to go to the them and celebrate their differences. queer collective stall. After four years of being at uni I’m helping run a float in the Mardi Gras.

//TIM, ECONOMICS III

“When I first started University I hadn’t totally reconciled my sexuality with myself and none of //DANIEL, ARTS II my friends knew about my sexual orientation… I never experienced any hate or prejudice “The Sydney University Arts Faculty is possi- against me directly, but along the way there was bly the most gay-friendly place in the world. a lot of ignorance and mis-judgements” I happily report having never experienced any kind of homophobia in my time here.” “I think that whilst this parade is a celebration //KIT CAT, GENDER STUDIES VI of the gay, lesbian, bi and transgender commu- “I’ve attended the Mardi Gras every year since nities, the inclusion of straight people in our pa- I was 16; I remember in year 10, my group of all “I was involved in the queer theatre space rade is a sign that acceptance and understand- straight friends wanted to see the parade, and for SUDS, and we were able create an origi- ing is being achieved.” we were met with some serious opposition from nal play, where a drag queen and a lesbian our parents…they described it as an event that fall in love.” “I have seen the Tokyo Pride march in Japan a rapidly descended into an orgiastic melee.” few years back – nothing really compares to “I have never attended Mardi Gras Parade the spectacle that Sydney puts on for our most “What binds participants in the Mardi Gras togeth- because my best friend’s birthday always colourful and revered socio-cultural event.” er is not a sexual preference, but an understanding falls around the same time, 2009 will be the that it doesn’t matter… A public show of not only first time.” unity, but of indomitable exuberant joy from those who can accept everyone’s sexual identity, in front “I was cast to play a drag queen version of of all those who cannot, is what I call Mardi Gras.” ‘Oscar Wilde’ for a show in the Mardi Gras Arts Festival a few years ago. I’d always wanted to be a drag queen, even though I’m a woman.”

>13 Law School Makeup, wax strips and haircuts are University security forces are on FISHER BOOK REVIEW already on the list and the volume standby should any individual be Meltdown of planned purchases may grow as confirmed a cyborg. Aleksander Wansbrough reviews more investors become interested in Law lecturers this week were up in Ways of Seeing, by John Berger the scheme. arms over the lack of air-conditioning in the new law school. Unfinished John Berger’s Ways of Seeing is Honi spoke to several of the members air-conditioning vents were to widely attributed with chang- of the group from their main office at ing the way we see art. It is a blame, and ventilation systems were Paul’s College. When asked why they text looked at by many art stu- out of order for the better part of and his friends had decided to spend dents and is essential snoozing, the week. One lecturer exhorted his so much in such lean times, the HAVE YOU WRITTEN I mean reading, at art colleges. students to “use what I’ve taught you founder of the group told us “Having SOME UNFUNNY SHIT? I skimmed through it, seeing as to make this world a better place, hot chicks everywhere you look on it seemed like the done thing at where air-conditioning is for all, all campus is an integral part of our [email protected] art colleges... that, and drugs. law students.” Influential during the 70s, Ways Sydney University experience – and They love that stuff over there. of Seeing now seems rather bor- their relative abundance is part of Students too were fuming. “How can ing and dated. The opinions ex- the reason we all chose USYD over we be expected to learn when we’re pressed regarding art match the Macquarie or UNSW.” philosophical movements of the sweating?” said one Economics/Law II student. “It’s just so cruel”, she time - semiotics, structuralism, He went on to explain they also see post structuralism, Marxism and sighed, before hopping into her well- the fund as a charitable exercise, on feminism - which are reduced chilled Mini Cooper. Law students behalf of all men on campus – “Those to juvenile ruminations. were seen rushing out of the new guys who don’t contribute to the state-of-the-art building in tears, fund will still reap the benefits, since So what is the premise of Ways of others were carried out limp by the girls will all still look smoking hot Seeing? Well, basically you take fellow students fanning them with and whatnot. We’re givers in that a kaleidoscope and stand up- $50 notes. side down and look at artworks. way”. I want to have Just joking, it’s nowhere near as In the aftermath of many classes, interesting. Berger looks at how The scheme is not open to all female with you scattered Evian bottles were seen up mass produced conceptions of students. There will be a stringent to 120 metres from the law school art impact on the way we see selection process involving a face- entrance, proof of the hardships art. Following the lead of Walter to-face interview and proof of one’s Benjamin’s The Work of Art in the many dehydrated law students had ability to maintain a beauty regimen Age of Mechanical Reproduction, suffered. Statue: To the gorgeous lady that if paid for by the group. Berger’s thesis is that we have catches the 7:04 train at Kogarah. to critically examine art in or- The University recorded a massive I’ve made a shrine of your hair and One group member explained the der to appreciate it and bypass 175 complaint calls from Angry discarded tissues. That’s what you need for this system - “We’re not capitalist propaganda. “Pretty Daddies, who clearly felt that such mean to me. going to spend our hard-earned pictures are not really pretty horrific standards for the children pictures!” claims Berger. No, Eu- cash on lost causes. Only girls who Breakfast: To the mature and warranted postponing their yachting ropean nudes are just an excuse have a base level of hotness to work buxom blonde heifer that gets on trips on the bay. One such parent, told for white middle class guys to with will benefit from our initiative. the 8:14 at Campbelltown, I love about the lack of air-conditioning in perve on beautiful chicks. The fundamental rules of investing watching you eat your breakfast many other parts of the university, still apply here – only outlay your fried chicken in the morning. Yum. said “My son worked hard in year 12 Berger is wrong, because he cash where you’re likely to get good misses or ignores the radical so I could pay his way through a law returns”. Toilet break: Kimberley, the new shift that occurred when it be- degree! I will not stand for this!” girl at work, I love watching you came being depicted as beauti- from my cubicle. And from the toilet ful; a clear break from the Greek cubicle next to yours. tradition of men being beauty Making up Test found to incarnate. He’s too busy being Hand up: To the first year a pseudo-totalitarian Marxist to distinguish humans BIOL1901 student that always asks notice. from robots questions in lectures, your obvious attempts to impress everyone with He concludes, frustratingly, that In a recent study conducted by the your slightly superior level of knowl- art, like everything, is steeped University of Internet, it was found edge have worked. Let’s procreate. in ideology. And so Berger that failure to find joy in any of demonstrates, or attempts to the following images immediately Coffee: Emma, Skim latte with 2 demonstrate, that European oil identified the viewer as being in sugars, I’m your barista in Newtown painting indicates the wealth of possession of a cold, dead heart. and I have such an enormous crush the individual painted. He has a on you. Every time I see you, I try to point, but why focus on decod- say hello, but I’m too shy, so I usu- ing art? Why not focus on find- ally just slip a roofie into your morn- ing out what’s important in art ing coffee. Say hi next time, or you’ll and what important art is? sleep another day away!

The problem I have with Berger Supply: I think your name is and his ‘way of seeing’ is that Mark, you’re in my 9:00 Wednes- visual arts ought to be experi- If all else fails... day ECON2933 tute. Every time we enced, and Berger, rather than talk about market forces, I want you experiencing art, is attempting to put your aggregate supply in my to read it. Reports of plummeting sales of aggregate demand. Sit next to me cosmetics and skin care thanks to next week, I won’t wear a bra so you the financial crisis have so worried a know who I am. group of male Sydney Uni students that they have established an Do me the honour: To that fine emergency fund designed to supply hunk o’ man in our Social to Cultural the female members of the student history Honours seminar, us editors have a crush on you. No joke. body with items to maintain their physical appearance.

>14 FULLY Parkour SICK BRA FACEBOOK MAYHEM! Sriram Srikumar and Yaseen Hussein flip out. cles, not avoiding them. So there’s a The first lessons offer some basic tips AIM bit of jumping, ducking and climb- on running the right way, rolling to To demonstrate the extent to which ing. absorb the shock of jumps and, for subjects pay attention to each the keen, jumping over a 6 foot wall. other’s Facebook statii. Accompanying the physical is an More advanced lessons are held for equally important philosophical ele- the physically able in vaulting, flip- HYPOTHESIS ment. Parkour practitioners (known ping and other awesome ninja-like It is my prediction that I will soon as traceurs) liken the activity to feats. have some very irate responses martial arts. It’s said to encourage a from some 600 ‘friends’. I propose mentality of self-confidence, self-dis- that the volume of anger will be cipline and constant spatial aware- Lessons are held every Sunday by directly proportionate to the type ness. the Australian Parkour Association of comment posted. at Pyrmont Point Park from 1:45PM It is perceived by some as the physical onwards. $10 per session for non- METHOD expression of a philosophy preaching members. For four days, I will update my harmony with a person’s surrounds status with increasingly offensive and resulting freedom. statements that attack religious, social and political norms. For those less inclined to the Mr. Miyagi spiel, Parkour is also the pop- Day 1 – [RACISM]: Jonno reckons culture sensation seen in the chase- ‘fuck off, we’re full’ is a perfectly scenes of Bond movies, iconic adver- legitimate catchphrase for our I don’t think he’s going to make it. tisements and, recently, YouTube. country. Videos of people jumping through Number of responses: 13 railings, climbing across buildings Special mentions: “…and gays Every Sunday afternoon in a little and flipping over walls are truly un- shouldn’t have babies.” corner of Sydney, dedicated people believable. “Have you suggested this to the instruct in the art of Parkour. If you’re Dept. of Immigration?” not excited, you probably don’t know With an eclectic mix of fitness levels “Douchebag” what Parkour is yet! attending, the sessions are kept much “Dude, the One Nation Party is more physically accessible than sug- looking for a publicist...” The physical element of it is easiest gested by the superhuman feats ad- to explain; the aim is to move from vertised on the internet. Day 2 – [CULTURAL]: Jonno says point to point by overcoming obsta- Do Parkour. Daniel does. you might go on the Biggest Loser, but you’re still a fat fuck taking up all my oxygen. Responses: 3 Special mention: “And u may have fingers, but ur still a dickhead Ways to win an Oscar wasting all my reading time.” > Be ugly DAY 3 – [SEXIST]: Jonno thinks There is no greater sacrifice to the altar of Art than a young thespian who voluntarily girls should stop dressing like makes themselves look unattractive for a film. Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman and Hil- sluts in Kings Cross. They’re taking valuable clients away from the real lary Swank all fugged up for their roles and were handsomely rewarded. NB: This only whores. applies if the actor was extremely hot before the making of the film. Responses: 1 Special mention: “I think it’s more > Be gay of a homage…” Tom Hanks, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Sean Penn have found great success with this DAY 4– [RELIGION] – Jonno is tactic. Playing a homosexual gives the actor great opportunity to make all kinds of compli- now looking for a new religion. cated facial expressions that the Academy can’t help but reward. It is vital, however, that Preferably one that doesn’t involve the actor in question is not an actual homosexual. blowing himself up. Responses: 4 Special mention: “Blow yourself up? > Be crazy/retarded Are you a balloon? We always knew Retarded and crazy people make lots of funny expressions and noises, their eyes roll you were full of hot air anyway.” around a bit and sometimes their limbs move weirdly. All of these things look very im- pressive when re-created by a non-retarded or crazy person. Just ask Tom Hanks, Ange- CONCLUSION lina Jolie or Geoffrey Rush. After rigorous testing it has been concluded that racism is more socially inappropriate than overt > Be evil sexism and that nobody cares about It’s all very well for an actor to play a character that smiles a lot and does selfless good the Palestinian plight, contrary to deeds – everybody knows those things come naturally to the Hollywood liberal elite. The what Socialist Alternative may bleat ability to bring a menacing, I-drive-a-diesel-engine glint to their eye is a far greater test of on campus. Additionally, fat people are directly offended by jibes an actor’s skill, as Heath Ledger, Anthony Hopkins and Javier Bardem will tell you. concerning weight and the police definitely don’t monitor Facebook. > Be black Furthermore, the best way to offend …But not in a confronting way. It would be awkward for celebrities to have to think about someone is to tell them to get the how there’s deep, race-based wealth inequity in their country whilst wearing earrings hell out of your country, not to call them a slut. A healthy Facebook worth three million dollars. So don’t talk about how you were poor or anything. addiction will almost certainly decrease the size and girth of one’s penis.

>15 Your office bearer reports......

The University of Sydney President’s Report Report of the President Noah White [email protected] What’s happening in Canberra? receive the funding for that needs to make sure that it send me an email (president@ student. supports universities with src.usyd.edu.au) because Last Wednesday, Julia Gillard, appropriate funding for you are being ripped off and the Deputy Prime Minister What does this mean? teaching and infrastructure. the University is breaking the and Minister for Education This change will introduce Quality has already suffered law. announced a dramatic change because universities choose for the Higher Education a new level of competition Noah’s Kitchen between universities. Since to prioritise profits, just walk Sector. The change is a move into any first year maths or towards a deregulated system higher education is so This week I am going to show seriously under funded this government lecture and you you haw to make potato of allocating student places probably won’t find a seat, and funding per student at system will tempt universities salad. Potato salad is one by giving them the opportunity this plan will only make it of the most genius foods, it universities. Many people are worse. calling it a “student demand to significantly increase places lasts for ages in the fridge, driven system” or a “voucher in highly profitable courses, Julia Gillard is also tipped is good hot or cold, by itself system” although neither of particularly in disciplines such to make an announcement or with something else and is these names really correctly as economics or business. about student income support delicious and easy to make. This will put in jeopardy the describes the change. however at the time of my You will need about 1.5kg quality of courses as well as deadline she hasn’t made it yet How does it work at the other more costly disciplines potatoes (the best are the so you’ll have to tune in next small waxy ones), ½ cup moment? such as teaching and week for what will hopefully be nursing. mayonnaise, ½ cup sour At the moment the amount of good news (or maybe not… I cream, half a lemon, a bunch student places at a particular Will this give new students can be optimistic though). of parsley and a bunch of university is the result of a more chance of getting into What’s happening in the Quad? chives. negotiation between the uni their preferred course? and the government. After this According to the Higher Boil the potatoes until soft, figure is decided the university No. The Government says it Education Support Act cut into large but manageable is allowed to enrol students is doing this to give students anything that is essential for pieces. Mix together up to 5% above that cap in more choice and to increase the completion of your studies mayonnaise and sour cream order to allow for changes in student numbers. This should be covered by your and add in finely chopped demand. Within the university, will not happen unless the course fees. This means that parsley and chives. Add lemon the uni is largely free to move Government actually commits if you have textbooks that juice, salt and pepper to taste. around places amongst its to investing in the sector so are compulsory they should Stir through potatoes. Done, courses as it sees fit. Hence that universities have the be provided at no cost (a how easy was that? we already have a system with infrastructure to offer more reasonable amount of copies places (they have already You can play around with is driven by student demand in the library) and you should the ratio of mayonnaise and albeit with the brakes slightly said they are not willing to not ever have to pay for an commit to even the minimum sour cream if you want and on. Having the number of assessment. you could even experiment places decided upon reduces level of increases to funding). The effect that it will have Universities (our own included) by adding things such as the competition between chopped up pickled gherkins universities. is universities offering more have been ignoring this for a places in highly profitable very long time. The SRC has or bacon or even a boiled What is the change? courses at the expense of started a campaign to have the egg. more costly ones simply so law enforced. Is your essential What the Government is that they can keep up with textbook not available in the proposing is to increase the the competition. library (there should be at least cap to 10% and then in 2012 one copy per 30 students – remove the cap completely The big concern I have with or so the University says), or and move to a system where this plan is the continued are you being charged for an universities would be allowed quality of the learning and assessment (e.g. PERDISCO to accept any student they teaching experience at or Mastering Physics)? Then wanted to and would then universities. The Government Women’s report Report of the Women’s Officer Tamsin Dingley [email protected]

It’s the night before the leading to massive urbanization events all over the world. health and the violence International Women’s Day and the population boom against them is worse than march, and we’ve just left the that followed. This was when But this sort of visible activism that of men.” SRC. There we were preparing women finally took a far more is still necessary. While many for the march. This included vocal stand against oppression feel that all of feminism’s Yes, major improvements organizing pamphlets and and inequality, marching battles have been fought have been made, and giant making last minute badges in their thousands to New and won, and women are leaps have occurred in what to sell to passers-by at the York City to demand shorter indeed far more evident as amounts to a relatively short event, in order to raise money hours, better pay and voting role models in every aspect of amount of time. While our for the Women’s Movement. rights. International Woman’s life. Patriarchy is a hydra that great grandmothers starved Day is now an official holiday continues to rear its many themselves in prison in protest Why is this march important? in China, Armenia, Russia, heads. The IWD website of their lack of suffrage; our What, exactly, is it all about? It Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, notes, “the unfortunate fact is grandmothers struggled for all began in the United States Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, that women are still not paid equal pay; our mothers fought of America at the turn of the Macedonia, Moldova, equally to that of their male to ‘take back the night’, this is 20th century. This was a time Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, counterparts, women still are a battle that continues to this that was already familiar with Uzbekistan and Vietnam, not present in equal numbers day. But continue to fight the radical ideologies brought and is celebrated with official in business or politics, and good fight, ladies – you’re in about by industrialization globally women’s education, very good company. >16 It’s your SRC General Secretary report The University of Sydney Report of the General Secretary Russell Schmidt [email protected] The Week that Was is running a campaign for Eastern Avenue on Thursday Collectives fair income support so that mornings. So if you are This week the Government students can focus on study coming to class, come up to For those of you who are keen announced it will move to not surviving at uni. If you the stall and grab some food to get involved in the SRC, there de-regulate universities in think Youth Allowance is too generously donated by some are a number of collectives that accordance with the Bradley low, too inaccessible and local businesses and made you can attend. A collective Review. It will announce downright unfair, then come possible by the SRC. is an open and democratic soon how it will act on Youth and talk to someone wearing space where students come Allowance. Students voted for those cool blue shirts and get SRC Regulations together to discuss various Rudd Labor in droves and now campaigns and to build involved. We will be holding The SRC is governed by a Rudd and Gillard have sold a National Day of Action in grassroots networks to bring them up the creek without a Constitution and a set of about social change. The support of students across Regulations which accompany paddle. the entire country at 12pm on collectives are the Educations it. Unfortunately the SRC’s Action Group, the Women’s The current orthodoxy in the Wednesday March 25th and Regulations have become rally for dollars! Collective, Queer Collective, student movement, especially outdated and need to be fixed, Anti-Racism Collective, Global in light of the grotesque Free Breakfast so for interested students Solidarity Collective and last announcement about there will be a Regulations but not least the Environment deregulation, is that we will As part of the campaign Working Party that will be Collective. If you want to see a favourable response in to draw attention to the making recommendations attend a collective, please relation to Youth Allowance alarming number of students about how the Regulations come to the SRC where the reform. This is wrong. The who regularly skip meals can be updated. The first staff at the front desk can let Government has shown that and the overall conditions meeting will be at 1pm on you know when and where if we aren’t active and vocal in which some students are Monday16th in the Gosper each collective meets. they will simply ignore us. The forced to live, the SRC will be Room which is in the front of National Union of Students providing a free breakfast on the SRC. Education report Report of the Education officers Rosie Ryan and Elly Howse [email protected] Deregulation and YOU – a true backgrounds and indigenous and textbooks for its students, lecturers, tutors, whoever to story! Australian backgrounds. but instead what will happen the National Day of Action on will be a focus on these Wednesday 25th March at This week, we were appalled But what does this all mean? disciplines at the detriment of 12pm. All the students at other to see that the Rudd From 2012, university course others, like nursing, teaching campuses around Australia Government has decided and science. Even more will be having a similar day to, from 2012, introduce places will cease to be regulated by the government likely to disappear will be the of action that very same day. deregulation and ‘demand- courses and subjects that We’ll be meeting on the Front driven’ student funding into and instead be decided by universities themselves. So usually have low enrolment. Lawns/outside Fisher library the higher education sector and rallying down Broadway in Australia. They were acting universities such as Sydney What can we do about it? Uni will be able to open up and George St to UTS and upon the suggestions made beyond. in the Bradley Review into more places for the more Come along to the Education tertiary education, which was in-demand courses, such Action Group at 1pm every So get involved, start focused on making Australia as Business, Commerce, Tuesday on the Front Lawns. demanding a better future more university-educated and Marketing, and Law. Ordinarily We will be wearing bright blue NOW or there won’t be one encouraging participation of this would be good, because ‘Demand a Better Future’ for us if the government students from low socio- maybe it would mean that t-shirts, so you’ll recognise is successful in making economic backgrounds, the Economics and Business us. university even less accessible ethnically and culturally diverse faculty would HAVE to start to everyone in Australia. providing more tutors, classes Bring all your friends, Ask Abe

Hi Abe, Dear Ag Eco Student, but you have probably already I’m so confused about what It’s a good idea for everyone to look at the pattern of the missed the date to pick up new subjects to do. I’m trying to subjects. finish as quickly as possible, but subjects they have remaining in their degree. It’s important to I’m scared I’ll fail something. Abe How do I know what to pick do stuff you enjoy, but it’s also and how long do I really have? important to be able to graduate at the end. The best people to This column offers students the Ag Eco Student speak to about these choices are the year advisers in your opportunity to ask questions faculty. Make an appointment on anything that may affect to see them and raise all your their “welfare”. This can be as concerns. Get a realistic plan personal as a question on a for the rest of your degree Centrelink payment or as general SRC HELP: 9660 5222 making sure you do not take as a question on the state of the or [email protected] on too much or too little. Do world. If you would like to ask this right now as the last date Abe a question send an email to Level 1 (basement) to drop subjects is Tue 31st [email protected]. Wentworth Building, March. Check with your faculty City Road Entry >03 >17 Postgraduate Information The SUPRA www.supra.usyd.edu.au A voucher by any other name…

Minister Julia Gillard’s response to the Bradley review amounts of funding according to national priorities first few years. The entire policy approach seems last week, that the government would provide funding and needs. Under the new scheme, this would be to be “shoot now, ask questions later”. Given the to universities based on student demand, shocked totally restructured or scrapped. policy experimentation which has resulted in huge and appalled many students around the country, postgraduate over-enrolment in universities, the We can see the effects of a “demand-driven” approach who immediately started organising demonstrations government should have a clear idea by now of the when we look to our own university, especially in against the move. result of deregulation of student enrolments. postgraduate education. Because most postgraduate The proposal overall is to deregulate funding to coursework and international students pay fees and Gillard asserted that the changes would lead to more universities and tie funding to student numbers. The don’t attract government funding, enrolments aren’t equitable outcomes, more affordable degrees, and government also proposes to completely deregulate capped. As a result, we’ve seen a huge explosion in more access to higher education for students from university enrolments by 2012 by first increasing and universities offering postgraduate courses in profitable disadvantaged socio-economic backgrounds. But then removing limits on areas, bloating popular Gillard is insulting current and potential students by over-enrolment. If this Deregulation will only lead faculties through offering them access to an education system which will is raising alarm bells for full-fee enrolments, be unable to meet their right to a quality education. you, it should be. to enormous classes in larger starving other faculties Her claim that this model is “student-centric” is just through cuts and misplaced self-congratulation, since overall it would Gillard defended the metropolitan universities, ‘drip-feed’ funding, give more power to universities, and concentrate unpopular concept by and completely under- it in the hands of a few senior administrators. As emphasising that “this who will struggle to provide servicing students in students, we have clearly stated that we are opposed is not a voucher… the facilities and quality terms of face-to-face to deregulation of enrolments, and Gillard has no Rather, there will be a teaching and study excuse for patting herself on the back in our name. Commonwealth payment of teaching that students facilities. to universities – with should expect from their Rashmi Kumar the amount varying D e r e g u l a t i o n SUPRA President and Women’s Officer depending on the course higher education system. will only lead to [email protected] – on the basis of student enormous classes in numbers.” Hardly much larger metropolitan different to the concept of ‘vouchers’ – a set dollar universities, who will struggle to provide the facilities amount of subsidy that can be spent at the university and quality of teaching that students should expect a student chooses. from their higher education system. The changes announced last week will go even further than the But the semantic hand-waving doesn’t correct the Howard government did in terms of deregulation, fundamental flaws of a “demand-driven” system, when they increased the over-enrolment cap from one which ignores the baseline costs of running a university, per cent to five per cent in 2007. would only respond to fads and trends rather than academic merit, and would result in some universities In terms of how this will affect postgraduate students, becoming unsustainably under-enrolled, while others the impact will be felt in the form of overworked bloat to untenable proportions. staff who cannot make time to see students, a lack of facilities, and an overall decline in the quality of At the moment the Commonwealth Grants Scheme education. (CGS) provides funding to universities for an agreed number of Commonwealth-supported places each year. The reassurances that quality will be overseen by a The formulas are very complicated, since different new regulatory body seem a bit hollow when that subject areas and institutions receive different body will only be collecting information for the

SAAO ALERT HOUSING SCAMS SUPRA is getting reports of scams in the rental market targeting students. Remember, if you are a tenant you have a right to a written residential tenancy agreement. You also have some rights if you are sharing or are a boarder or lodger. See www. tenants.org.au for information before you sign documents for or pay anything. Keep receipts and all documentation. You can also make an appointment with a Student Advice and Advocacy Officer, call (02) 9351 3715.

18 Postgraduate Information Postgrad Pages

Subscribe to Dealing with Anxiety & SUPRA it’s FREE! Feelings of Inadequacy By becoming a SUPRA Subscriber you will be able to: • Access our free, confidential student advice and A common problems faced by postgraduates is the feeling unless it is that good. Reading in a variety of journals will advocacy service that you are a fraud. You will struggle to find someone often show that there are lots of other people who are not • Participate in SUPRA events writing a thesis or doing higher level coursework that hasn’t yet groundbreaking geniuses but who are developing their and activities at some time thought they are not up to the task, or that they research skills and profile while making more modest • Receive regular email couldn’t possibly write anything of value in such a complex contributions to knowledge. updates and electronic field. Postgraduate work can be a big step up from anything If you are having difficulties and are not sure who to turn publications (eGrad) you’ve done academically and its healthy to feel challenged to and how to get help don’t forget that the University has Use the SUPRA Resource and by it. However it can become a serious problem if it starts • a range of assistance out there. Your program coordinator, Meeting Rooms to overwhelm you. There are strategies that can help you to supervisor, associate supervisor and postgraduate coordinator cope. • Access discounted are often a good first port of call. You can also consider using photocopying, printing and First, remember it’s postgraduate study and you don’t have the Counselling Service for free one-on-one assistance for faxing to win a Nobel Prize to get through. While it is a requirement local students. The International Student Support Unit offers • Vote or run in the SUPRA in degrees such as the PhD that your thesis makes an a similar service to international students. Council elections original contribution to your field, it is not a If you aren’t sure where to turn or you • Actively participate in your requirement that it completely revolutionises the want to discuss issues with a service representative student area. Very few academics are remembered for independent from the University then association. their postgraduate work. The work you develop SUPRA’s Student Advice and Advocacy By becoming a SUPRA Supporter after postgraduate study can often be far more Officers can help. We offer free, you will be able to: important. professional and confidential advice about • Access all of the above You may well revolutionise thinking in your field, supervision matters, information about benefits but it will probably be years later in your third intellectual property, advice on rights and • Receive a SUPRA Supporter or fourth book! Postgraduate study is a training responsibilities, help on academic appeals, Welcome Pack (including and learning exercise. You are expected to make and much, much more. We can direct you SUPRA highlighter and t-shirt) mistakes and learn from them. If you treat it to resources that might help keep your • Show that you appreciate this way you will probably gain in confidence studies on track. the value of an independent and your ideas will become clearer and more student run organisation. Don’t forget to check out SUPRA’s website insightful. too! This article is an edited version of a Complete your subscription Second, we encourage you to write early and write often! section from SUPRA’s Thesis Guide. The full Thesis Guide is online at www.supra.usyd. Writing can be the best remedy. Even if you feel like you have available online with lots of other helpful information. edu.au/subscribe then follow the links if you would like to nothing to say or you’re not sure whether your ideas are original become a SUPRA Supporter. or correct, write! Writing can help clarify your thoughts and Alternatively you can complete uncover areas that need more thought and research. Writing This section is prepared by SUPRA’s Student Advice and a form at our stalls or drop into will also give you something you can show your supervisor Advocacy Officers (SAAOs). The SAAOs are professional the SUPRA office. and colleagues. This will give them the opportunity to give staff employed to assist postgraduates with a wide range you feedback and you can be pleasantly surprised that they of welfare and academic matters. Call 9351 3715 or email think what you have written is very good! [email protected] to ask a question or request an appointment. Third, read widely in your field. Reading the major works Raglan Street Building (G10) Darlington Campus by key thinkers in your field is essential but if this is all University of Sydney NSW 2006 you read you can get the idea that you can’t write anything Phone: (02) 9351 3715 Fax: (02) 9351 6400 Email: [email protected] Web: www.supra.usyd.edu.au What’s coming up at SUPRA (see www.supra.usyd.edu.au for more information)

Thurs 12 March NTEU & SUPRA Forum@ Carslaw Lecture Room 173, 1.00pm

Tues 17 March National Day of Action - Cumberland Campus

Wed 18 March National Day of Action - Camperdown Campus

Thurs 19 March “Soldiers of Peace” Film Screening @ Footbridge Theatre 7.00pm

19 Cat Empire THEATRE CONCERT FILM Pat Effeney gets funked up. Juliette Binoche and Akram Kahn, Of Montreal Gran Torino A band that announced itself in the In-I early noughties, the Cat Empire have Of Montreal’s Kevin Barnes has as- enjoyed a great deal of success four In-I, one of the hottest tickets to hit sumed numerous strange alter egos, LP’s and one live album later. The the Australian stage in recent times, most recently as ‘a black shemale’ beginning of their story really is their is a confronting piece of dance theatre who doesn’t ‘know what all you peo- live show. featuring two of the world’s greatest ple are about’ (“Wicked Wisdom”). performers, Oscar-winning French His predilection for falsetto, espe- Building up a solid fan base on the actor Juliette Binoche and renowned cially on songs such as “Heimdalsgate back of live performance does not British choreographer Akrahm Khan. Like A Promethean Curse”, is remi- necessarily translate to commercial Binoche is most famous for her films niscent of both Prince and the Beach success. Such is the calibre of their music, however, that the Cat Empire Chocolat and The English Patient, Boys. His lyrics include curious lines are one of those rare cases where and Khan has constructed works for like ‘Ladies, I’m screaming out to you Most men Clint Eastwood’s age are their live show really did launch pop star Kylie Minogue and French from the depths of this phallocentric shuffling about with their pants up a phenomenon. Helped along, of ballerina Sylvie Guillem. tyranny’. (It may well be true, but it around their armpits, developing a course, by the success of their single, didn’t really need to be said. Or sung. fond love of bridge and grumbling “Hello,” which I’m sure many of you In-I is a narrative piece conveying the Or whatever.) And like most of the about the youth of today. Eastwood may remember with mixed emotions. rise and fall of a domestic relationship. band members, he’s notorious for get- meanwhile, has spent his senior It begins with Binoche’s character ting naked on stage, often while in the years making some of the best films We all know that they have launched spotting Kahn’s in a cinema, followed company of oversized puppets and of his life (Unforgiven, Million Dol- themselves effectively, but what of by an exhilarating courtship told dudes in vaudeville costumes. lar Baby, Mystic River) and Gran their impact on wider music? With through high-energy, tango-infused Torino is the pick of that crop. Aussie funk in a bit of a rut in terms of commercial success, what effect has dance sequences. Romantic bliss Put simply, Of Montreal have pushed the Cat Empire had on this genre? quickly turns to tedium as both become well beyond ‘quirky’ and into the Eastwood writes, directs and stars in frustrated and communication is realms of being utterly weird. the film about Walt Kowalski, a cur- Harry Angus is the vocalist and severed. The remainder of the work mudgeonly, virulently racist Korean trumpeter of the Cat Empire, as well explores the couples’ mixed attempts They can get away with it because they war vet who is angry at the world and as the spearhead of the side project to revive their failed union. produce excellent music that, as you everyone in it. In his eyes, his extend- Jackson Jackson, who bring a very might expect, defies categorisation. ed family is spoilt and obnoxious and experimental, edgy sound to the funk By and large, this is a boundary- It’s disco-like and danceable, his neighbourhood has gone to the scene. With some commercial and pushing work by two performers while avoiding the sheer repetitive dogs after an influx of Vietnamese- more independent success, the Cat visibly yet defiantly pushing their drone that makes both ‘dance’ and American families. Empire really launched this gem of a respective boundaries. Oscar-winning ‘disco’ intolerably dull. And their project, simply because Harry may not have had the money or the confidence The film is centred on the relationship Binoche, 45, could well be resting odd, androgynous hedonism is to launch it previously. on her laurels with straight-forward balanced out with moments of dark that develops between Walt and his film roles, yet she has boldy chosen introspection, especially on their best young Vietnamese neighbour Thao, The other side project launched by the to embrace the challenging medium album, Hissing Fauna, Are You the while Thao is getting sucked into a Cat Empire is the Conglomerate, a jazz of dance theatre. Kahn, meanwhile, Destroyer? petty but violent war with the local quartet that has released two albums. a fluid and captivating mover, tackles Hmong Vietnamese gang. Walt Both Ollie McGill (the keyboardist) his formidable acting role with With all this in mind, I had high hopes becomes Thao’s guide to being an and Angus help out in this band and, panache. for their gig at Manning. Unfortunate- American man and Thao softens some like the Cat Empire, they have big ly, I left early and disappointed. (but not all) of Walt’s rough edges. The raps on their live shows in Melbourne Perhaps the most remarkable feat of story moves forward as Thao’s family town. the production is how such a poignant This is partly because Barnes and Walt are pulled into the ongoing The Cats are scheduled to play their battle with the local thugs. narrative is conveyed wholly through struggled to pull off the high vocal seven hundredth show this decade the medium of dance. A couple of range that characterises so many of mid this year. This means there is monologues dispersed throughout Of Montreal’s best songs. Since being convinced of Eastwood’s a distinct possibility that they will serve as abstract deviations rather genius some months ago when I have played for the most fans of any than integral plot fillers. In essence, Mostly, however, it was the fault of the watched Unforgiven, his 1993 take Australian band this decade. Serious the beauty of In-I is the way in venue. The sound was simply awful. on the American cowboy myth, I stuff. which movement can communicate Like most Manning gigs, it was only have loved Clint Eastwood both as an meaning in ways often more powerful mixed if you stood right up the back in actor and a director. His performance With this is mind, it is easy to see why than words. the middle. Even then, everything was in Gran Torino is Eastwood in all Australian bands have tried to model too loud and the bass too dominant. his gravelly-voiced, squinty-eyed their live performances on these guys. All the band’s on-stage antics – with glory and the deliberate, slow- A Google search will tell you how many bands consider them a major 4/5 paced direction makes for a film aliens fighting ninjas – couldn’t make influence on their live performance. up for the fact that their music was where the punches hit you harder Not only this, but they are a regular George Downing being lost in a wall of noise. than they would if overwrought and at the East and West Coast Bluesfests, sentimentalised. helping to build that particular festival Manning has done well to bring in into a true world music event. This is great bands over the last few years; A sleeper hit in the States, word of seen in the enhanced attraction of but if they want to keep bringing in mouth has seen this low-budget film this festival for major international crowds, someone has to fix the sub- gross many times its production cost. acts in the last few years, including Bo par sound. It’s an outstanding movie that has Diddley, Ben Harper, Lee “Scratch” SEND REVIEWS, what is lacking in films today: tight Perry, Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz. TATTOO PHOTOS & plot, characters from the real world OTHER CULTURAL They are one of the best Australian PURSUITS TO: 2/5 and moments where your heart wants bands going around at the moment [email protected] to fall out of your chest because it’s all and arguably the best live one. The a bit much. Go see it. Submissions must be Daniel Wodak story of their influence is only just 300 words. beginning, with Harry producing his And awesome. 4/5 first album in the last year and plenty more music left in the band. It is only a matter of time before people follow Bronwyn Cowell in their funky footsteps to commercial success.

>20 Fo’ schnitz... Toby’s a bit too cool Claire Burke on the best and bratwurst of Berlin. Bronwyn Cowell ordered her coffee with one sugar, not a buttload of smug become a beacon of light, guiding The time has come, fellow students, Admittedly, Campos is not what it me home in the cold morning hours, to note publicly that the quality once was, but your product is not the winking at me in the haze. of the coffee served at pretension ambrosia you imagine it to be so stop emporium Toby’s Estate is not that giving me so many reasons to trek In some ways Berlin is very German. great anyway and definitely not good down to Missenden Rd and patronise Its public transport system is enough to make it ok that the staff that infinitely more charming little everything that Sydney’s is not: treat you like crap 95% of the time. coffee house. Their baristas are way punctual, comprehensive and Smelly, studenty, unwelcome crap. hotter also. honest. Even when it’s late, it knows exactly how late, and apologises like I am coming into your cramped, Further to that, just because you it just ran over your cat. BERLIN: where rent is cheap, clubs overpriced store to purchase your work at Toby’s doesn’t make you coffee and thus you should be grateful better than me, so wipe that smirk are underground, and graffiti is But for the most part, Berlin makes artwork. up its own rules. To the untrained for my custom – but no, instead I off your face, espresso-monkey. eye Berlin is full of schnitzels and am served with barely disguised This is not going to be much of a bratwurst, but it is not Germany. disdain by a staff member who curtly Finally, stop being so mean to my balanced report. But I will try to Berliners have little in common, say, informs me that they finish serving friend who has a young child and avoid hyperbole, when I explain why with Bavarians, except that they can lunch at 2pm so no, I can’t have a has to have a stroller with her when Berlin is the best city in the whole all make fun of Angela Merkel’s hair. sandwich. What?! Are you trying we get coffee together. Mums have a world. Ever. to lose money? Your stupid hall of rough enough time of it already and Berlin has been torn apart and stuck wank is situated in close proximity don’t need you rolling your eyes at Berlin is the confused, schizophrenic back together all in the last sixty to a captive market of students who them when they just want a freaking friend that constantly threatens your years, and it is still trying to figure out eat at massively irregular times – latte. health and assaults your moral code, how to approach this heritage. But chill out with the anal retentiveness but with whom you can’t help being all of this confusion makes Berlin a regarding what meals are served and Shape up, Toby’s, because we’re all a utterly infatuated. Despite the city’s dirty paradise for anyone interested when. bit over it. evident lack of beauty and its central in anything. role in either one or two brutal The only advantage you have over dictatorships – depending on which You can’t get bored in Berlin. If you Campos is that you’re closer to uni. side you’re on (geographically, I get bored in Berlin, you are probably mean, not ideologically; none of that a boring person, in which case it is up for debate) – I came to find it doesn’t matter where you are. almost dazzlingly beautiful in its HAUTE COUTURE TIGHTENS at Burberry, Christopher Bailey re- ugliness. ITS BELT dressed the Bloomsbury set whilst Natasha Kassam claiming “I wanted the romance After six months on exchange there, of history but I also wanted it to be the TV Tower – the city’s iconic STUNNING “The only constant is change,” sang very much about today, the moment eyesore and the most visible legacy a Grace Jones record during the we’re going through today.” This of Communist ‘innovation’ – had Armani collection at Milan Fashion moment, hoped by most retailers Week. However to the untrained eye, to be a New York minute, is forcing the romantic couture that floated 80% discount signs to stay in store- down the catwalks of the recent sea- fronts, three months after Christmas. son was unchanged - no expense was spared. Both the New York and Thankfully though, the fantasy and es- London weeks continued their tra- capism of the couture shows remain. dition of extravagance, seemingly It wasn’t ignorance that saw Kenzo unaware of their respective econ- present a lavish collection punctu- omies crumbling around them. ated by fantasy scenes straight out of Such luxury made many design- Wonderland, nor did Marchesa send ers appear ignorant to the new vo- elaborately embellished tulle gowns cabulary spawned by the financial floating down the runway because crisis; ‘recessionistas’ and ‘chico- they forgot – woops! – about the eco- nomics’ were cast into the shadows. nomic crisis. The designers were not oblivious to the recession at Fashion Yet upon closer inspection, the glitz Week, they were fighting it, providing and glamour belied a darker truth, an outlet to a declining industry that like thinly veiled worry lines under may never emerge in the same light. inches of MAC makeup. High-profile designers such as Betsey Johnson Let’s face facts: the ill effects of un- and Reem Acra that once revelled bridled, irresponsible consumerism in the showiness of the runway opt- have potentially ruined any hope ed out of spending $100-250K on a the fashion industry had of return- show, presenting their collections in ing to its heady heights. Restruc- a showroom instead. The optimism turing is inevitable and Darwinian of Ken Downing, Fashion Director of processes demand that the industry Neiman Marcus, when he claimed become leaner, more efficient, more that “customers who love fashion economical. Designers and retailers continue to love fashion, economic alike may have resorted to a wel- crisis or not,” was shown to be mis- come dose of escapism to avoid that placed after an estimated 200,000 fact, but fantasy can only provide retail stores closed during this fi- a fleeting distraction. Fashion has nancial year. The Gianfranco Ferre been forced into a whole new play- show was overshadowed by its par- ground, otherwise known as reality. ent company declaring bankruptcy, which also saw the Just Cavalli show cancelled despite Roberto Cavalli himself “declaring war” on the crisis.

Desperation saw new collections “Phoenix”, Science II from Missoni and Burberry glance wistfully to their seasons past, in mournful recollection of a more prosperous time. Head designer

>21 A real nightmare, a nice dream CRICKET Patrick Effeney ponders the future of Pakistani cricket. This tour went ahead despite almost scheduled to be played all over the sub- games. every tour in the last ten years being continent, with some fixtures sched- cancelled, the political situation in uled to be played in Pakistan. The Pakistan cricket team is, undoubt- Pakistan remaining very unstable and edly, full of talent, and it is the rest of a phone call not two weeks before they Something to note is that Australia has the world’s loss that they do not get to left from the Australian cricket board been put on stand by as alternative see them in action. The alternative to advising them not to go ahead with the hosts for the tournament, a duty our playing in Pakistan is playing in Dubai, tour. Even with every sign suggesting country is better equipped to handle which seems a perfectly reasonable al- that touring was a really bad, they still than any other. I doubt that any games ternative. Cricket is a developing game went. will be played in Pakistan during the in the Emirates, and international tournament, and regardless if whether cricket of high standard would bring I understand the Sri Lankan point of those games are simply relocated to an many new, not to mention wealthy, A cricket wanting to show everyone was wrong, Indian ground or the whole tourna- fans to the game. Although Pakistan’s Any cricket team to tour Pakistan was to show that touring Pakistan with ad- ment is moved to Australia, cricket will ‘home advantage’ may be lost along always going to be fraught with dan- equate security was a safe thing to do. be better off. with the hostility of the crowd, at least ger. For the last ten years, every cricket The problem is, of course, that security we would have a safe environment for team has knocked back an offer to tour is inadequate in such a turbulent coun- //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// them to play cricket in, with no gun The issue for the sport to deal with that danger-ridden place, and so it try and cannot be adequate while gun- toting maniacs on the street to shoot turns out, for good reason. men roam the streets unpoliced. is how to get Pakistan get on their at the team buses. Dubai’s police and feet and playing competitive cricket security forces provide this certainty. Right now the Indian cricket team There is no point policing a bus full of again. are touring New Zealand. They were famous cricketers if the other ninety- //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Although I’m not schooled in the logis- scheduled to be touring Pakistan at nine point nine percent of the country tics of moving tours to Dubai, I don’t this very moment, but the wise people is in the hands of people looking to So we all know that Pakistan is a ter- see any huge negatives. It will give one of Indian cricket said it would be too make a statement, and will use any ex- rible place to tour. We all know that no of cricket’s saddest stories a chance to dangerous, so no thanks. Sri Lanka, cuse to do so. Now I’m not saying that one will want to tour there for many redeem themselves. I’m sure the Paki- full of good will, decided to fulfil the all Pakistanis are terrorists or rampant years to come. There is nothing that stani cricket team would be in favour. Pakistani public’s desire to watch their killers, but the ones that are there go any cricket board can do about po- It’s been talked about for years now favourite sport, so filled the breach. unchecked, hence they have freedom litical instability in Pakistan. The issue and seems a legitimate option. I say we We all know now what a bad decision to go where they like and perform acts for the sport to deal with is how to get give the Pakistani Cricket Board some- it turned out to be, with several players like the one we have just witnessed. Pakistan back on their feet and play- thing to do rather than just defend the and umpires injured, one umpire criti- ing competitive cricket again, because political situation in their country. cally wounded and six Pakistani police There are now doubts about whether at the moment they are playing half officers and two civilians dead. the 2011 one-day Cricket World Cup the international cricket of any other will go ahead at all. The World Cup is country since they have lost their home

HONI Which one should I choose? UNCOVERS George Downing overviews Sydney Uni’s colleges Over 1,000 students live on campus environs of St Paul’s hint at residents come from Canberra, so them down gin and tonics in Lacoste in the University’s residential col- pretentious old school. Inside, that should be no surprise. polos between sets of doubles tennis leges. Each of these colleges accom- pretentious old school is spot on the on a Wednesday afternoon and you modates a variety of students from money, though there’s more to St At the other end of campus, both get the picture. Australia and abroad, providing Paul’s than the Gentlemen’s cigar literally and metaphorically, a rich academic environment and lounge (yes, there is one). Paul’s is Sancta Sophia, the other all-girl abundant extra-curricular activity an eclectic fusion of academic-robed, college, is an enigma at the best of with the convenience of studying on leather bound Oxbridge stuffiness times. Renowned for its bizarre maze- campus. Sound like you’re reading a and Plantation on a loose Saturday. like interior layout, guests often feel plug from the Uni website? Read on As the only all male college on trapped navigating its corridors, for the real dirt on these fine institu- campus, Paul’s boys are renowned which is probably intentional. tions… for a work hard, play hard attitude. Sancta is starkly different from their With so much time spent at such counterparts at adjacent John’s, St Andrew’s is a college steeped in close quarters, who knows how they yet the fact they are not living with tradition, cheap vodka, and bricks. interpret that. a bunch of Reg Reagan lookalikes After a decision to go co-ed in 2002 could have a lot to do with it. after some 132 years of all male The family tree of Wesley’s residency failed to subdue its general residents resembles a straight line. So where will you find these strange state of rowdiness, especially at the Little more needs to be said. creatures? As most of them think regular events held in the college bar, Manning is the biggest dive on The Highlander. The fresher-senior John’s, on the other hand, is earth, and attendance at lectures hierarchy is drilled at Andrews like celebrated as one of the last true is generally a non-event, you will nowhere else, embracing activities breeding grounds of the endangered struggle. such as fresher brick carrying and yobbo (not gender specific). Amongst the infamous Walkabout. The three- a campus full of Nudie jeans and The only way to really know is to get pronged college motto, Christo, GHD’d hairdos, John’s men and amongst it and enrol – though, alas, ecclesiae, litteris (Latin: “for Christ, women embrace the wife-beater- A fine upstanding Johnsman you’ve missed the boat this year. Too for the church, for scholarship”) wearing, slab-of-tinnies-slamming, bad. is systematically ignored by its ocker ’tude that has all been lost to residents. the fringes of Australian society – Women’s is the Constance Billard Sydney’s greater west, and Canberra. of Sydney’s colleges – society girls, The stately sandstone-and-slate Incidentally, quite a few John’s high achievers, man-eaters. Watch

>22 Page 23.

Across

1) Queen singer with the first of this puzzles theme (7,7) 8) Listen Up! With the third of this puzzle’s theme (3,4,4) 9) Brighteyes encore? Positively! (3) 10) Wrestle every second Veteran’s Org. (1.1.1) 12) A gram in string causes a sharp stab of pain (6) 15) Conflict captives cause BANGS! (4) 16) You said trap the great 48! (1.1.1) 17) Nerve Pole-dance is an enclosure (9) 18) Morass, with the fourth of this puzzle’s theme (9) 20) A short, strange biography for Kenobi (3) 21) Have a go, then rotate (4) 23) Contracted petty officers on board, with the centre of this puzzle’s theme (6) 25) Buys out seconds for the provider of Manning Bar (amongst many others) (1.1.1) 26) Insurance giant is popular word ending (even this one) (1.1.1) 27) Limbless lady with the second of this puzzle’s theme (5, 2, 4) 28) Massive Gold Coast casino, with the fifth in this puzzles theme (6,8)

Down

2) Blast or NERF actor Brad (6) 3) Dowels – Financial Jones starts the wooden peg (6) 4) Bungling United Nations body perhaps, with the eighth of this puzzles theme (5,6) 5) Ben or John incorrectly let on (5) 6) Actor Michael thinks it would be fun to run a newspaper (5) 7) Sit out for a round, with the sixth of this puzzle’s theme (4,1,4) 9) What you currently rest on, with the seventh of this puzzles theme (4,4) 11) Croon about heat till they’re teeming (8) MS 13) Frozen Meth Diamonds frost the cake (3) 14) Strange duke sponger is what Willy does for a living 15) A quirky Ultimo pun, with a reject from this puzzle’s theme (9) 19) Life is unusual at the beginning for this Angel (3) BUT I DON’T DO CRYPTIC CROSSWORDS! 21) Plays the fat horn? Be gone tubbiest! (6) That’s loser talk! The Honi Soit Cryptic is designed for people who don’t necessarily do Cryptic Crosswords so now 22) Gossip sounds like a lodger (6) you don’t even have an excuse. Unless you don’t have a pen. In which case get one. 23) Wing it in a secondary annum, perhaps? (2,3) 24) Nemo’s foe begins search for a pound (5) Here’s a clue: A small confusion for some animals. (6)

Find the Literal Clue So, with a Cryptic, the literal clue (that’s what the clue actually means) will either be at the end or start of the CHECK THE HONI FACEBOOK GROUP FOR WEEK 1 phrase and if you can narrow down what the literal clue is - then the rest is easy. So the two options are ‘A small CROSSWORD ANSWERS! confusion’ or ‘Some Animals’. Work out what’s Cryptic Then there’s the Cryptic element of the clue. In this example the cryptic element is an anagram, the word ‘confu- sion’ shows us that. Words like confusion, crazy, disorderly, jumbled, drunk, damaged...etc generally (but not always) denote an anagram. Then we need to find which letters to anagram. A SMALL has 6 letters and so does the answer..... so if we move them around (or ‘confuse’ them) - we get LLAMAS - some animals!

Anagrams are only one facet of the cryptic clue, there are many others, but as long as you are able to separate the Cryptic from the literal you should be fine.

Hope this has made things more confusing.

Guess the answer and you’ll be wearing it for days.

>23 Students’ Representative Council The University of Sydney

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