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CHASSIDISHE WEDDING: What Every Mother Should Know SARA MOROZOW CJ Studios 52 NSHEICHABADNEWSLETTER.COM | TISHREI 2017 For a parentF there is no joy comparable to marrying off a child. A tremendous investment of time, effort and money goes into preparing for the wedding day, which is the culmination of years and years of toil in bringing up our children. Given the false world we live in, where the gashmius is front and center, sometimes the tremendous spiritual power of the day can be overlooked. If we want to harness the ruchniusdike energy of the wedding day, to establish the young couple on the right path for life, this can be done only with preparation. It does not just happen by itself. When I was a young kallah the world was very different. Then, if they were lucky, the chassan and kallah could go directly from the chuppah to get a dollar from the Rebbe. Then the kedushah was palpable and everything else was secondary. Today we need to invest more effort in order to reveal the tremendous kedushah of the wedding day. Preparing for the wedding is similar to preparing for Shabbos. The ruchniusdike beauty of Shabbos is reflected in the gashmius—in the way we prepare our homes, the special food and clothing. Sometimes we can get carried away with the gashmius—such as when we sit down at a physically beautiful Shabbos table but the conversation around the table does not reflect the kedushah of Shabbos. The same is true of the wedding day. As much as we want every detail to be perfect b’gashmius, we must ensure that this does not overshadow the ikkar—to establish the young couple on a foundation of holiness and purity. TISHREI 2017 | NSHEICHABADNEWSLETTER.COM 53 WHY A PUBLIC SIMCHAH? STANDING UNDER THE CHUPPAH When a chassan and kallah get married, the simchah is not only for them and their family. What is the significance of standing under It is shared by the entire community and all of the chuppah? The Mitteler Rebbe explains Klal Yisroel. For example, for the whole week of that the chuppah is bechinas makkif—a type of sheva brachos, Tachanun is not recited in shul kedushah that is above the world and cannot if a chassan is present. And it is a mitzvah to be drawn down through our efforts. At the participate in the simchah of a wedding and to wedding, this level of divine revelation is dance and rejoice with the chassan and kallah. poured down on the chassan and kallah, and But why? Why can’t the chassan and kallah this is the energy they will use to build their celebrate in private? Why the big public display? lives together. As they stand under the chuppah In a maamar of the Mitteler Rebbe, L’havin they need to connect their thoughts to Hashem inyan hilulah d’Rashbi, he explains that the great in order to draw down this tremendous energy joy of a wedding is the reunion of two halves of in a revealed way. one neshamah. It is compared to two close friends When we stand under the chuppah it is like who were separated for a long time and are now standing at mattan Torah. The chassan and reunited. The Mitteler Rebbe explains that the joy kallah must have a feeling of bittul, desire and of reunion depends on how close the friends were, mesirus nefesh to do Hashem’s will. But to have how long they were separated and the reason for this sensitivity requires preparation, and that their separation. If one of them was in peril, such preparation is, simply, learning. as in captivity or seriously ill, the celebration at their reunion will naturally be greater. The chassan and kallah are not just close WHAT IS THE PREPARATION? friends but one neshamah that comes into the world in two separate bodies. They are separated We want each of our sons and daughters to feel for a long time—for the first 20-plus years of their the kedushah of the wedding. But the wedding day lives. Furthermore, they are sent down, into often goes by in a blur—for the bride there is hair, olam hazeh, a world filled withkelipah and sitra makeup, pictures, pictures, pictures and pictures. achara, and there is a real risk that they may not Where in the day does she have an opportunity be reunited in purity. For all these reasons, the to focus her thoughts on what really matters? joy at a Yiddishe wedding is especially great. And When our children who have gone through since all neshamos are one, as explained in Perek traditional chinuch get married, they sincerely 32 of Tanya, the joy of one neshamah is shared want to do things the right way. But it’s up to the by all of us. parents to set things up beforehand so that the When the two halves of this neshamah are ruchniusdike matters are the priority. During the reunited, they are not just coming together the engagement, the kallah has a lot on her mind. way they were before. The chassan and kallah She needs to shop for—everything!—and find together are creating something new. Together and furnish an apartment. She is most likely they are building a new Jewish family. We’ve all working, taking kallah classes and worrying done the science experiment when you form about her future. Therefore, it is not practical a volcano by mixing baking soda and vinegar. to leave all the ruchniusdike preparations for When two substances come together to form a the engagement period. Ideally, as soon as our new compound, energy is released. At a wedding, sons and daughters reach marriageable age they the union of the two halves of this neshamah should begin to learn these topics. There are releases an ohr makkif that affects all of seder many sefarim in both Hebrew and English that hishtalshelus. Every detail of a Jewish wedding explain in detail every aspect of the wedding reflects this kedushah being released. day and marriage in general. 54 NSHEICHABADNEWSLETTER.COM | TISHREI 2017 MINHAGIM OF THE WEDDING DAY day on Rosh Hashanah affects our whole year, and the same (and more so) for the chassan and There are many minhagim for the chassan and kallah on their wedding day. kallah to observe on the wedding day. One of the Rosh Hashanah was also the first wedding day minhagim that the Rebbe stressed is tzedakah. in history—the wedding of Adam and Chava. Many When I got married the Rebbe had just spoken details of the wedding day reflect what happened about the importance of having a tzedakah at their wedding. For example, we have a band pushka on the head tables, with family members playing music at a wedding because Hashem and friends encouraged to arranged music for Adam give tzedakah in zchus of and Chava. the chassan and kallah. Yom Kippur: The Everyone had pushka When we stand wedding is a personal Yom centerpieces at their Kippur for the chassan and wedding with the coins under the chuppah kallah, which is why they hanging this way or that fast and the chassan wears way. Today how many a kittel under the chuppah. people remember to put it is like standing All their sins are forgiven a pushka on the table on this day. The reason at all? And most people at mattan Torah. for this is that on Yom don’t have change in Kippur an ohr makkif, an their pockets. The Rebbe The chassan and all-encompassing light, instituted this minhag. is drawn down. This or Let’s honor it. Set up the kallah must have makkif is also represented table with a pushka and by the chuppah. When the a plate of change, and kallah and the unterfirer remind guests to give a feeling of bittul, stand under the canopy tzedakah in honor of and surround the chassan, the chassan and kallah. desire and mesirus they are drawing down the The chassan and kallah ohr makkif. But it doesn’t themselves should be nefesh to do happen by itself. There reminded to put coins in needs to be teshuvah. The the pushka throughout the Hashem’s will. chassan and kallah say day of the wedding. vidui at minchah on their This is just one example. wedding day, but saying There are many other details to be observed on the words is not enough. They also need to focus the wedding day which have an impact on the on what this day means for them. future of this couple. Mattan Torah: The giving of the Torah was like the wedding between Hashem and Knesses Yisroel. When we stand under the chuppah we FOUR THEMES OF THE WEDDING DAY recreate the moment of mattan Torah. Yemos HaMoshiach: The marriage between As we learn about the wedding day and the the Yidden and Hashem was not finalized significance of the wedding minhagim, four at mattan Torah because we went into galus themes emerge: afterwards. It will only be finalized in the future, Rosh Hashanah: The wedding day is a personal when Moshiach comes. In the future Hashem will Rosh Hashanah for the chassan and kallah. Just as dance a machol, a circle dance, with the tzadikim, Rosh Hashanah draws down chayus for the whole which is one of the reasons we dance in a circle year, the chassan and kallah draw down brachos at the wedding. for their whole lifetime. The way we spend the Each of the sheva brachos that we say under the TISHREI 2017 | NSHEICHABADNEWSLETTER.COM 55 chuppah has a special meaning for the chassan there are more minhagim nowadays to keep than and kallah that impacts their entire life.
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  • CCAR Journal the Reform Jewish Quarterly

    CCAR Journal the Reform Jewish Quarterly

    CCAR Journal The Reform Jewish Quarterly Halachah and Reform Judaism Contents FROM THE EDITOR At the Gates — ohrgJc: The Redemption of Halachah . 1 A. Brian Stoller, Guest Editor ARTICLES HALACHIC THEORY What Do We Mean When We Say, “We Are Not Halachic”? . 9 Leon A. Morris Halachah in Reform Theology from Leo Baeck to Eugene B . Borowitz: Authority, Autonomy, and Covenantal Commandments . 17 Rachel Sabath Beit-Halachmi The CCAR Responsa Committee: A History . 40 Joan S. Friedman Reform Halachah and the Claim of Authority: From Theory to Practice and Back Again . 54 Mark Washofsky Is a Reform Shulchan Aruch Possible? . 74 Alona Lisitsa An Evolving Israeli Reform Judaism: The Roles of Halachah and Civil Religion as Seen in the Writings of the Israel Movement for Progressive Judaism . 92 David Ellenson and Michael Rosen Aggadic Judaism . 113 Edwin Goldberg Spring 2020 i CONTENTS Talmudic Aggadah: Illustrations, Warnings, and Counterarguments to Halachah . 120 Amy Scheinerman Halachah for Hedgehogs: Legal Interpretivism and Reform Philosophy of Halachah . 140 Benjamin C. M. Gurin The Halachic Canon as Literature: Reading for Jewish Ideas and Values . 155 Alyssa M. Gray APPLIED HALACHAH Communal Halachic Decision-Making . 174 Erica Asch Growing More Than Vegetables: A Case Study in the Use of CCAR Responsa in Planting the Tri-Faith Community Garden . 186 Deana Sussman Berezin Yoga as a Jewish Worship Practice: Chukat Hagoyim or Spiritual Innovation? . 200 Liz P. G. Hirsch and Yael Rapport Nursing in Shul: A Halachically Informed Perspective . 208 Michal Loving Can We Say Mourner’s Kaddish in Cases of Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Nefel? . 215 Jeremy R.