December, 2008 Issue 3 ire Lewis Central High School 3504 Harry Langdon Blvd. Council Bluffs, IA 51503 the W

Though it’s intentions were unmistakably good, the Safe Haven Law has not worked out the way legislators had intended. Now the law has been changed to allow only babies thirty days or younger to be dropped off at any hospital in the state of Nebraska. Photos by Maria Jones

Nebraska’s Safe Haven Law age of 19 can be dropped off at may be too short, six may be has been a common fixture any hospital. Since it’s creation better, ” said senior Jared Juel. in the news of late. Originally in July, 30 children, ranging Senior Emily Wahle disagrees, set up for young, unprepared between the ages of one to “The reason why they made or overburdened parents with eighteen have been abandoned it three days is because it was newly born infants, many people, at a number of hospitals. There originally meant for women who both those in and out of state, was the Nebraska father who had their baby in secret, it was have been abusing the law. dropped off his children, all to prevent them from throwing This law, called “the baby nine of them. The youngest their baby in the dumpster.” moses law,” was originally created was one, the oldest, seventeen. Critics of the law agree with to prevent parents from aborting, A few months after that Lewis Central students, saying killing, or abandoning their infants, there was the mother who flew the age limit was too wide and allowing them to remain nameless in from Georgia to abandon that Nebraska needs to call an and protected by the law. Lately, her 15 year- old-son at a metro immediate session to revise however, Nebraska parents and hospital. Not long after that, the law. Legislators did, in fact, parents from numerous other another mother brought her child schedule said session, which states have begun dropping from Florida. Law makers say, was set to take place November off their unwanted children. “this was never our intention.” 13th. Since then, the age limit Unfortunately, because of “I believe the law was has been changed, only allowing how the law was written and poorly written from the start. parents to drop off their children because of the age of adulthood Parents are using the loopholes within 30 days of their birth. in Nebraska, anyone under the to their advantage. Three days Story by Athena Burns [december 2008] Questions, Answers, and Tips on Abuse Domestic violence is a special to keep them silent. However, it and contact the police. If noth- category of civil harassment. It oc- does not just affect the immedi- ing else find someone to tell. curs most often when the people ate family but those around them. “Talk to someone you trust, that are fighting have a special rela- “It makes people a little more go to a phone book there are tionship, which can lead to greater vigilant, makes them draw their own hotlines all over the place, just harm. It is an unfortunate event that don’t stay silent,” said McComas. can occur anytime or anywhere. “It makes peo- Victims should never try to at- The murder of Jennifer Hud- tempt this alone, get assistance, it son’s mother, brother, and neph- ple a little more could come from anywhere. For ew was an upsetting event that is vigilant, makes instance you can start by calling believed to be a case of a domestic 911 or the National Domestic Vio- dispute. However, this kind of thing them draw their lence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224. does not just happen to celebri- own family in.” But how do you know if ties or on “Cops” but to regular -Curt Mace someone you know is in this people in the most average cities. situation? “Watch for signs, Is domestic abuse common in like changes in their personal- Council Bluffs? “I don’t want to use family in,” said counselor Curt Mace. ity, or if they don’t hang around “I have seven children. We left home because of the LRA. They the word common, but it does hap- The first and most important their friends,” McComas. came three times to our home. They took my sons. When the pen,” said counselor Julie McComas. step when faced with this situ- It is important for these two boys were taken, we left home and came to stay in Kitgum.” In most cases the people are ation is to try and get away from people to contact some- Photo by Geoff Sayer taken from www.oxfam.org close to their attacker, which makes your aggressor. Go to a nearby one about their problems. It Is The Longest the fear stronger and is enough house, a neighbor or a friend, Story by Bridget Mulligan Signs of Domestic Abuse Do you: Running War in Africa •Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? •Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy? After Invisible Children came took over and formed the LRA. •Show guilt and fear over your living conditions? to our school, there were some Because the LRA lost support questions about what the organi- under Kony’s leadership, they re- •Feel isolated and untrusting of others? zation is about. It centers around sulted to abducting children to the war that has been taking place fight in their army. The children Does your partner: in northern Uganda for twenty- are brainwashed, tortured, and •Humiliate, criticize, or yell at you? three years. This war, taking the forced to return to their homes •Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? homes, futures, and lives of mil- to kill their own families and lions, is known as the most ne- friends. Most are never seen af- •Have a bad and unpredictable temper? glected humanitarian emergency ter abduction. According to www. •Threaten to commit suicide if you leave? in the world today. worldvision.com, 80 percent of •Destroy your belongings? The conflict is between two the LRA’s troops are made up of •Act excessively jealous and possessive? groups in Northern Uganda and children. Along with the trag- •Control where you go or what you do? parts of Sudan – the Lord’s Resis- edy of child soldiers, the LRA has tance Army (LRA) and the Govern- forced millions from their homes. •Keep you from seeing your friends or family? ment of Uganda (GoU). It began Most are still currently living in •Constantly check up on you? in the 1980s because of a woman crowded displacement camps. named Alice Lakwena, who be- The situation has been- ig Signs to look for: lieved the Holy Spirit spoke to nored by many countries for •Frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents” her and told her to rebel because years, but some efforts are be- the government was treating an ing made to bring awareness and •Frequent and sudden absences from work or school ethnic group called the Acholi aid to the war-torn area. Recent- •Personality changes unfairly. When Lakwena was ex- ly, there have been peace talks •Excessive fear of conflict iled, a man named Joseph Kony, and efforts to end the conflict. •Isolation from friends and family who claimed to be her nephew, Story by Kaiti Madsen

It Is a Strange World AfterStory by Athena All Burns The Wire Staff

OBAMA? NO CANDY FOR YOU! Editor-in-Chief Detroit, MI – A suburban De- said, “No handouts for Obama Kaitlin Carlson troit woman took candidate sup- supporters, liars, tricksters or Assistant Editor port to a new level when, come kids of supporters.” When asked Sarah Waldron Halloween, she refused to give about the children who were Copy Editor candy to children who supported turned away, empty handed and Athena Burns presidential candidate Barack crying, Shirley Nagel, the home Design Editor Obama. According to local news- owner, is quoted as having said, Lindsey Lawrence casters, the sign posted outside “Oh well. Everyone has a choice.” Photography Editor Maria Jones Business Editors Taylor Jensen A REAL FOX TROT CAT’S BEST FRIEND Chris Jensen Prescott, AZ – While jogging Mon- simply latched onto her arm. The Melbourne, Australia – As of Oc- Leo refused to leave the animals to Cartoonist day, November 3rd, a young wom- woman then ran one mile to her tober 26th, one Melbourne fam- their fate and it nearly cost him his Jerrod Scheffel an was attacked by a fox. According car, pulled the animal off, threw it ily has a new hero. Leo, a small life. The firefighters on scene claim Reporters to the victim she was on a trail near in her trunk, and drove to the near- terrier mix, was inside the family to have never seen anything like it. Taylor Basch Prescott when the animal attacked est hospital to have her attacker home when a fire broke out. The Not only did all of the kittens sur- Steven Elonich her, biting her foot. She grabbed it tested for rabies. The fox later bit dog stayed beside a newly born lit- vive, but, despite having to be re- Savannah Greening by the neck when it attempted to an animal control officer and both ter of four kittens, barking to alert vived with oxygen, this brave puppy Shelby Klepfer bite her leg, but the rabid creature victims have received rabies shots. firefighters to their whereabouts. is alive and doing well. Good dog! Kaiti Madsen Sara Marshall Bridget Mulligan Brandon Myers Kyla Spencer Deanna Williams [page two - news] [the wire]

The Problem With Invisible A Nation of Light Pollution Children Sell-Outs

Clinging on my right wrist students down when they found is my black and white Invisible out there was not going to be a club. Children’s bracelet. I bought According to Government it for 20 dollars from their teacher John Drake, multiple merchandise display, when the teachers asked Invisible Children group came to our school for their representatives not to pass presentation. I assumed that the around a donation jar, which video we were going to watch collected not only pocket change, would expose the disgusting and but also larger amounts of money. When someone alters repulsive war that is still currently He believes that most of Schools their way of doing things they going on in Northern Uganda. 4 Schools donations go to Uganda, generally have two reasons Instead, I got to see firsthand, but not the donations from when to take such a “bold” move. how I, a high school junior at they were at Lewis Central. Many Take for instance a painter, Lewis Central, can earn a chance other factors contributed to either the painter is tired of to go to Uganda for a few weeks Drake deciding to check out the their old tricks and strives for and see first hand what it is like group’s financial reports. Drake a new muse, or perhaps they to be a person living during the said, “I got a gut feeling like, modify their work in hopes current war. It was interesting ‘hmm something is not right.’” of achieving a more popular watching GO, “stories about a The so called “1.2 million status on the social ladder. group of students traveling into dollars” that Invisible Children The latter of the two reasons Whether it is by night or day, Omaha’s skyline can be an the heart of Africa’s longest- made last year, how much actually really describes our current impressive and beautiful sight. Unfortunately, by night running war.” Even though GO went to the people of Uganda? national ideology of selling-out. Omaha commits the act of light pollution, which has been was appealing, I still did not see While only 15 percent of the These one trick ponies that what the problem was in Uganda. funds actually went to Uganda, coat our nation with mindless known to throw off the flight patterns of migratory birds, repetitive drivel are all on this among other things. Photo by Maria Jones The stories that were shared were the other 85 percent of the horrific, but what I really wanted money went to paychecks, travel, green brick road that is lined with to know was what life was like day hotel rooms, and nice dinners. money and the chance of fame. Around here you might not the beach. The lights are often to day, and how they avoid being When I heard of this news during If all it takes to make it big in think about light pollution. But brighter than the reflective sea forced into the war, etc. Rather class, I felt so disappointed. the world is to place a beautiful if you live anywhere around and many turtles will die trying than that, I listened to how the I contacted Invisible Children woman in front of a screen and Omaha, the “Omaglow,” as to find their way back to ocean. students on the trip felt. and asked about the donations broadcast her to millions to just native astronomers call it, will be The lack of proper darkness The next day in my and where all the money goes, watch her sit there and giggle, effecting what you see in the night is said to affect humans as well. government class, I heard about and they replied back with a big then why bother doing anything sky. Due to ill-designed lighting As we try to artificially expand what was supposed to happen the long email that sounded like a substantial? People will not much of the light is escaping up the day and shorten the night we day before. We were supposed well written commercial. I never improve themselves by creating to the sky. This may not seem like risk over stimulating our brains. to watch the documentary, quite got back the answers that intellectual ways of challenging anything to care about, however, Studies show that over exposure Invisible Children. Then, the group I wanted, so I am still wondering their talent if they are being the light is creating a glow that can to artificial light can cause minor persuaded our school to start a if I will ever get a clear answer. paid large amounts of money expand over hills and thus are in problems such as headaches, Schools 4 Schools club, where I am still going to wear my to keep up their mediocre a way harming the environment. and increases to fatigue, stress money is raised by involved bracelet. It reminds me of what is work. Their thought process Scientists have seen problems and anxiety. As humans try students. In order to start a club, going on in the heart of Africa. But is, “if this is what the people in the feeding habits, migration, to mess with the course of you must go through a whole since this whole Invisible Children want, we will give it to them.” and reproduction of many night and day, the natural series of steps, not just, “hey, let’s disappointment, I learned one Perhaps then it really is species due to the unnatural balance of life will be affected. start a club on Tuesday!” Invisible thing: no matter how great an not the “painter’s” fault. I do light used to brighten the night. The worst part is that this has Children had students sign up and organization seems, check it believe it is the people who are Many species of songbirds are a simple solution. With the light even chose a president to lead, but out first before committing. willing to pay for the “painter’s” poor excuse for work that are getting confused by the bright city going into the air, a “glow” is created ended up letting many motivated Story by Shelby Klepfer lights when migrating. For birds that causes the natural view of the causing the real issues within in their first flight, the confusion night sky to fade into the unnatural society. The citizens of the can lead to their death as they light, and illuminate further away world want that immediate get distracted by shiny objects. from the city. If we get over what gratification; they do not want Too much light causes looks nice and fashionable on to think about the symbolism problems for nocturnal animals. our front yards, focus the light to or a moral to a story, they want Sea turtles that seek dark beaches, the ground, and switch to lower a funny picture of a cat with are finding less and less places to power light bulbs, many of these some “cutsie” quote beneath it. lay their eggs where the young problems could “fade away” as People are selling out to sea turtles will not become the night sky seems to have done. please the mindless individuals confused by the city lights behind Story by Maria Jones that believe they have half a brain to actually criticize someone who is willing to put themselves out there for others to scrutinize their passion. At least they have, or should I say, had a passion. These “greed-crazed lunatics,” as The Wire is the official Lewis Hunter S. Thompson once put Central student newspaper and Editorial Policy it, are taking over the nation is distributed free of cost to stu- and are creating this new low, dents. The opinions expressed this “generation of swine.” Letters to the Editor: I am terrified for the in this publication reflect those The Wire strongly encourages of the student writers and not “painter” of tomorrow, the responses to articles appearing only hope we have is to step Lewis Central administration, in the newspaper. Letters may Invisible Children came to talk to Lewis Central students faculty, or its advisor. The Wire is up and take the risk this world be submitted to room 401 or about the war in Northern Uganda. This included watch- is lacking. If someone is finally published seven times throughout emailed to kacarlson@lewiscen- the school year by the Suburban ing the GO Documentary and learning about the organiza- willing to stand up for a cause tral.k12.ia.us. The letters must Photo by Bridget Mulligan without the limelight getting Times in Papillion, Nebraska. be signed, legible, and concise. tion. The purpose of The Wire is to: in their line of vision, perhaps The staff reserves the right to then we can get a bit further inform students of current and edit letters for length, grammar, relevant events, interpret and than before. Take your passion and punctuation. These letters seriously and be prepared for analyze complex events and should also be free of profanity, issues that affect students, and some backlash, from there vulgarity, or words with undesir- you can only get stronger. serve as a forum for discussion of able meanings. controversial issues. Column by Kaitlin Carlson [page three - face off ] [december 2008] Titian Football Goes Long

The season may have not take this as a complete been a disappointment disappointment though. when the clock hit zero on The 8-2 record gives people Wednesday, October 29th’s something to look forward game, but the Lewis Cen- to when the Titans retake tral football team made, the field next season. Re- and shared unforgettable turning starters for next memories with the fans season will include juniors: this season. Who knew at Denver Lohnes, Dalton Ger- the beginning of the sea- mann, Cole Jensen, Weston son we would not be sat- Morris, Marc Osborn, and isfied at 8-2 after going Trevor Ryba. 2-7 in 2007? The players Could these tears of played their hearts out and sorrow turn into tears of the fans screamed their vo- joy next season? Will these cal cords into a frenzy. be the players to take it a Spectators could tell step further and mark their the players had their hearts name into the Lewis Cen- set on state after the game tral history books? Only when emotions poured out. time will tell the outcome The team walked broken- of next year when the Ti- heartedly off the field with tan fans can proudly slip on heads down and shoulders that Lewis Central hoodie, slumped. put on the blue and white “It was devastating but hair spray, clap to the fight The Titans kick off to Harlan in their last regular season. The Titans would lose but an 8-1 the season was still fun,” song, and cheer the Titans record was a great improvement from last year’s 2-7 record. Photo by Lindsey Lawrence said senior Dakota Driver. on. Players and fans should Story by Steven Elonich

Photo by Sanjula Mahathantila Photo by Chelsi Bartlett Photo by Sara Marshall Photo by Maria Jones Boys Swimming Dives Into the Season The new season for the Boys Swim Team Matt Wolf. Wolf has been swimming since his kicked off Monday, November 10th as the boys freshman year, but cannot think of any one fa- attended their first practice. vorite memory because, “Everything is pretty The team practices every weekday from awesome.” He has not set any official records three to five at the Titan Hill swimming pool. yet, but he keeps track of his personal best re- During practice the boys do various swimming cords. drills and some days they lift weights after- Both Howell and Wolf expressed that one wards. of the main reasons they decided to swim com- New sophomore Matt Howell has been petitively was for the exercise. “It keeps you in swimming competitively for eight years and has good shape,” Howell said. set records for the 200 and the 500 meter races. The first swim meet of the season was Howell’s best experience while swimming was against Bellevue East and took place on Decem- when he qualified to go to the state competi- ber 4th at the Titan Hill pool. The next swim tion and came in 9th place. He is hoping to do meet is the OPS invite on November 11th at Bry- Photo by Chelsi Bartlett Photo by Sanjula Mahathantila well and maybe even beat some records. “I’ll an High School in Omaha. If you enjoy watching The Lewis Central swimming team is starting up again wiht new mem- try to improve my times a little bit before the competitive swimming then show some school bers. “ I joined swim team because i thought it was hard and challenging season ends,” said Howell. spirit and support your boys. but I’m the only freshman there and it’s still hard,” said freshamn Ryan Also hoping to improve his times is senior Story by Kyla Spencer Allen.

Who am I? Who am I?

I lettered my sophomore year in I am involved in swimming, cross coun- AY basketball. Before a basketball game try, track, baseball, and band. The most you will surely find me listening to eye opening experience of my sports ca- D rap music. I also participate in track. reer was on the bus ride home from the c L In fact, my favorite sports moment districts swim meet my sophomore year. o was running at state my freshman I had fallen asleep and was woken up to Senior ALEESHA x i Senior ZACK k year. In the future, I am looking for- find a razor and two AL swimmers in my n i ward to college. If you are still clue- face. Luckily, they had only shaved a little I less to who I am, I am involved in of my eyebrow off. If you need another l NHS, Student Council, Show Choir, hint to guess who I am, I worked on the l and Five Star. summer maintenance crew. F i The o Story by Sarah Waldron E n Athletes Fetured in the last issue were... Zack Killion and Aleesha Cox [page four - athletics] [the wire] Marat/Sade

As the only school in the United States showing Marat/Sade, for many weeks students anticipated the opening of the production. They Do For Fun What You Fear Most

For most of us, the word heater doesn’t work. One and it creeped me out. She got speech conjures up images of time it was so cold we could out, and then we flipped the box podiums, note cards, and that see our breath,” said Kinsella. over so the open end was at the nervous feeling you get when you Some of the events include top. Then she ducked down inside know you are about to completely Choral Reading, Reader’s Theatre, of it. We all hummed Pop Goes humiliate yourself. But, for a group and Musical Theatre. They have the Weasel, and then she would of Lewis Central students, it evokes practices two or three times a pop out like a jack-in-the-box.” something completely different. week. The larger groups, like the Katie Kinsella had no trouble Images of broken bus heaters, Choral Reading and Reader’s thinking of her favorite moment, free hugs, and jack-in-the-boxes. Theatre groups, practice more this one stuck out in her mind. Large group speech has often. The practices have to be “It would have to be in my started again, and the speechers scheduled around the students sophomore year. We were waiting are pumped and ready for other responsibilities, because for Mrs. Nielsen to get out of this a great season. Senior Katie a lot of the kids in speech meeting. This other school and Kinsella, junior Molly Cox, and are really active students. our school were the only ones sophomore Katie Jacoby talk “Most of the people in large left, and we were helping to clean about why it’s so much fun. group speech are also in like two up the gym. Then Caleb Housley “I love it.” said Jacoby, other activities,” said Kinsella. and David Ebke just started doing “The people are what make Mrs. Nielsen is the main back flips out of nowhere. ‘Cause it fun. We can relate to each sponsor and coach, but she also has that’s what speech kids do I other in our own weird way.” some of her old students, like Sarah guess. And Zane Brugenhemke “Its just such a relaxed Lee, who graduated from Lewis had this giant slingshot with atmosphere, there’s no pressure. Central in 2001, come to help out. him, so we started launching Even at competitions, it doesn’t Everyone involved seems to random things around the gym.” feel like you’re competing, you’re really love it, and they seem to come There are a lot of kids just having fun” said Kinsella. away from it with new skills and participating, but they can always Photo By Bridget Mulligan Not every part of the experiences and great memories. use more. “We are desperately in competition could be considered Junior Molly Cox, who when need of guys right now, especially fun though. They arrive at school asked about her best memory, ones with musical experience,” at “the buttcrack of dawn” as had a hard time choosing just one. said Cox. So if your interested Kinsella put it, usually around “There was this one time when in joining a fun extracurricular four or five in the morning, junior Megan Reif got inside of that will leave you with new depending on how far their this box we use for choral reading, experiences, skills, and amazing competition is, and take a bus. and started walking. It looked like memories, its not too late to join. “Sometimes the bus the box was walking on its own, Story by Taylor Jensen

[page five - activities] Do you ever find your self in an awkward situation where you have no idea how to respond to your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s questions? Here is advice for those tough situations... mors:L Story by Shelby Klepfer and a Chris Jensen Ru die m s BoysIf girlfriend asks:

o It is the place where rumors E “Does this make me look fat?” o and gossip begins, the place that d How to answer: Even if you like chunky chicks, NEVER tell your r may be considered as some kind of girl that she is fat. Just deny it, and sneak in a compliment, such as, “That dress t wonderland to any foreigner of the i compliments your ankles.” territory, and the place where no t “Do you think that girl is hot?” s man will ever go. Curiosity sweeps i You never really want to be honest on this one, so just ask, “What girl?” e young boys’ minds when it comes o “Do you really love me?” to the girls’ bathroom. Think of something Shakespeare would say. Possibly try “I love you like the n R “Are there really mirrors, moon.” couches, and pink walls?” asked “Why won’t you kiss me in front of your friends?!” Ryan Cook jokingly. “We don’t even Some guys just do not like PDA, especially in front of their friends. If your get paper towels.” girlfriend is this annoying, dump her! Well I hate to burst that flowery Differences Between Boys and Girls “I want to spend forever with you.” image of pink walls and couches, Other than just stating the obvious “body are not supposed to be the most important part in Slowly and awkwardly say, “We’re in high school…” Or just because while a lot of girls would parts,” boys and girls have different interests. choosing someone to have a relationship but often smile, but do not nod! love to have a bathroom like that, Around the time high school starts both do not like times it is, for both genders. ours is really the same as the guys. being called boys or girls. Boys prefer to be called “I would say that I would rather have a boy- At least I think so, anyway. men while girls prefer being called women a little friend that I could actually talk to about stuff other “I bet our bathroom smells a maturity to their respective sexes. than a muscled idiot that doesn’t know anything,” lot better, and it’s probably clean- “Boys and girls are different because boys can said junior Sam Clemons. er,” said freshman Aly Shea, giving a be mad and each other one minute and be best However, there are some exceptions. Sex is the reason why they are different. buddies the next. Girls hold grudges forever,” said most discussed topic as a teen, that and drug use. “We also get mirrors in our physical educator Chris Hanafan. More often than not the male pressures the female Sign photos by Sara Marshall om Relationships are complicated for most. Neither o bathroom,” said senior Alaina into sex but it can work both ways. Most of the time str R gender can seem to figure each other out. They can u Walker. (But let’s face it guys, you the two think they are ready, but usually they are e Many people, here at Lewis Central, do m later result in a valuable experience learned or ab- do not have to check your hair and not. Relationships and sex are not the only compo- R not know that we have a dungeon. In fact, solutely nothing. Looks are not supposed to be the nents that assemble the teen years. Friendship is o make-up, at least not at school.) we have a few of them. Located at differ- So sorry to kill the wonder, most important part in choosing someone to have a also very important, maybe even more so than an r ent points in the building, these foul smell- relationship but often times it is, for both genders. actual relationship. s but the truth is that the bathrooms ing territories are the breeding grounds for Relationships are complicated for most. Nei- are almost the same. Besides the It is important for both genders to have two or trouble and vandalization. These rooms, of : ther gender can seem to figure each other out. smells, the mirrors, oh, and the three friends that they really trust. The two genders course, are the boys’ bathrooms. Height, a sense of humor, and overall personality M vending machines that we have… also have differences in the ways they make and The girls know nothing of what the seem to be what both genders want. just kidding boys! keep friends. Boys can go a weekend without talk- boys’ bathrooms are like, but they can only “I’d like to have a girlfriend that likes to have a Story by Sara Marshall ing to some of their friends, while a girl absolutely imagine from the smells in the hallway and e good time, but she also needs to be pretty and have needs to talk to her friend about what an amazing the gossip that spreads. a good personality,” said senior Taylor Burton. n pair of shoes she bought. “I bet it’s really gross compared to our While some girls are pickier choosing a boy- The teenage mind is one of the world’s greatest bathroom, I mean there’s probably a bunch ’ friend, some boys just choose any random girl they mysteries along with “Is there life after death?” and of pee stains all over the floors,” said - se s think they can make out with. Later this can result in “What came first the chicken or the egg?” It at times nior Tori Von Mende. This seems to be the a valuable experience or absolutely nothing. Looks can be fragile and at other times unbreakable.

general outlook of how the boys keep their E Story by Brandon Myers bathroom, but let’s ask the experts.

vs. “Oh yeah, the boys have more toilet pa- d per on the floor, and they seem to not know

how to flush as well,” said day-time Janitor i

Fred Suden, who would know, considering t

Your boyfriend may ask: he has to clean up after them. i

Even some of the guys are scared of o “Do I have to meet your parents?” their own bathroom. “I hear that there’s no n Meeting parents can be a big step in mirrors in our bathroom because every time a relationship, so as much as you want to a person would look in them, they would avoid this, agree to meet her parents, or see Bloody Mary*,” said sophomore Dylun just change the subject. Gunter. “What are you thinking about?” So maybe girls will never be able to You are a girl. There is A LOT on your know for sure what those putrid potty plac- mind. This is normal. Just respond in a cute- es are really like, but I do not think many o sy way with lots of giggling and say “What them want to find out either! are you thinking about?”

“I think we should take a break from * For those of you who don’t know who each other.” Bloody Mary is (cough, Mary Langille), she is This is code for, “I THINK WE SHOULD a woman believed to appear in a mirror BREAK UP” but in a nice way. Take this as when she is summoned be saying the end the relationship, say goodbye. her name three times. “I swear he is just a friend.” Story by Sara Marshall No, he may not be just a friend, es- pecially if her eyes are shifty when she is saying this to you. If it feels awkward to be Photos by Chelsi Bartlett around your girl and this “friend” take it as a sign. “What do you consider ‘cheating’? Girls Slap him right now! This is code for: I HAVE BEEN MESSING AROUND WITH YOUR FRIEND(S). Unless you are up for an open relationship, talk your way out of this one. Cartoon by Jerrod Scheffel [december 2008] The Terrible Two: Grades and Stress I Exist * The following story is the second in a series of truthful accounts from anonymous students who needed to tell their stories. -Editor in chief Kaitlin Carlson I have always felt people have lot bigger than me so I couldn’t re- about them a lot and I am not pressured me to do things that I re- ally fight them effectively. happy about the fact that those ally didn’t want to do. Guys would This other time a boy and I things had to happen; there would always try to get more and more. were running around this fancy be times where I would just lay in That is how it has gone my entire neighborhood lighting off - fire bed and not go out or do anything life, just because I happen to look works and he jumped on my back for weeks. I felt ashamed of my- a certain way. I have been lucky and squeezed me from behind self at a point. enough to avoid the peer pressure without asking or giving any type I felt like an object and I didn’t by my parents not allowing me to of warning; I told him to get off me feel like a real person anymore. date and how I used to view sex as and to stop doing that; he didn’t. It made me feel really bad about almost a joke. I was really upset for the rest of myself, like that was all I was good Part of the reason I left my old the night and people even knew for or that people would only like school was because guys were sex- about it and people really didn’t me for that reason, because of ually aggressive towards me. They think it was that big of a deal, they how I looked. There were times used to draw dirty pictures of me, said things like, “Oh, sorry? Who where I thought I was never going or touch me; I was once sitting in cares?” Even the girls acted very to get married because no one will our advisory groups, which are like nonchalant about it. like me for my personality or the Titan Times here, and there would One could say I am inviting person I actually am because they be this kid who, whenever I wore this attention because of the types won’t look at that part of me. a skirt, would put his hand on my of shirts I like or the fact that I do Being pretty isn’t all it is leg and start touching me under wear make-up, but I am just doing cracked up to be, I rarely am taken the table. We had to be quiet dur- everything that every other girl seriously and people always as- ing this time or else we would get does. Even if I don’t wear make- sume I am stupid. I will always in trouble, which gave him the op- up or put on turtle-necks for ev- second guess any of my relation- portunity to do what he wanted ery day of the week, that won’t ships because I want to know if because I had to stay silent. change how people view me just they like me for my personality or At parties that was a common because I have a certain shape. just for my appearance. It isn’t fair Focused on her assignment, senior Kelsey Tech keeps up with occurrence, one time I got stuck in I will always look this way; I feel that no one will give me a chance class work. Staying focused in class and getting homework done a room with these two guys and stuck. to prove myself beyond how I ap- may be stressful, but it keeps grades up. Photo by Maria Jones they started doing stuff to me, the I am almost glad those things pear. I am more than just a pretty face. I am a human being. School, homework, tests, jobs, can cause major stress. Stress door was locked and they were a happened to me, but I do think sports, family events…the list goes can lead to sleep deprivation, on and on. Teenagers have pretty mood swings, aggressive behavior, hectic schedules that can cause a and overall decline in physical lot of stress. From band to choir, health. It also narrows one’s Sounding and anatomy to trigonometry, ability to think clearly, function all teenagers will have a tough effectively, and enjoy life. year or two during high school. Professionals say that an Studying is a major part of a important key to relieving stress out the Words high schooler’s life. Some may is to learn how to say “no.” Story by Taylor Basch study for one hour, while others Another stress-relieving stress It may not happen hebdomadally, and there is not a lot of mot juste to talk about, but if anyone is looking may study for up to five hours a day. is to avoid hot topic situations for words of an unusual flavor, here are some to read about. So sound it out, and use it in a sentence because “[I spend] at least one to such as religion and politics. Try the words that appear are just not normal. three hours studying or doing to manage time and work; get ragabash - \rag-uh-bash\ noun yex – \yehx\ verb hebdomadally - \ehb-dawm-uh- homework a day,” said junior organized and make a to-do list. An idle, worthless fellow To hiccup, belch or spit daah-lee\ adjective Kristina Kempton, “I am not used These pointers will -Mrs. Wandersee -Bob laughed when Occurring every week to doing homework every night.” help students to calm disagreed with the student’s another student yexed during the -The days when progress While studying may be an themselves and think more claim that Huckleberry Finn was a Chemistry final. reports were printed hebdomally important part of a teenager’s clearly about their priorities. ragabash. are long gone. life, the real challenges are the “Don’t procrastinate,” zakuska – \zuh-koos-kuh\ noun finals. Most students have six Kempton says, “[You need Ichthyolatry \ick-thee-yaw-luh- Ichthyolatry \ick-thee-yaw-luh- hors d’oeuvre, a snack finals to do; others may get lucky to] realize the work that you tree\ - noun tree\ - noun -Mrs. Langille liked the and only have to do four or five. are going to have to put in.” The worship of fish The worship of fish idea of passing around a bucket of “I had to take all six finals [last Follow any of these pointers -Mr. Bergman was disturbed by -Mr. Bergman was disturbed by candy for zakuskas at the party. term],” says Kempton, “And all in and the challenge of school, Johnny’s icthyolatry during the Johnny’s icthyolatry during the one day because I had an honor grades, and stress will be easier salmon dissection. salmon dissection. band event. I want to get all A’s, to cope with. Otherwise, invest mot juste - \mawh-zhoost\ noun and hopefully a B in anatomy.” in some Rogaine because you a word or phrase that fits a situation perfectly Finals, tests, and other events will be pulling out your own hair. -Mr. Vinchattle admitted that “squeamish” was mot juste word for how some people acted when Story by Deanna Williams electrocuted. Students Suffer from Lack of Sleep

There are only twenty-four this almost impossible: wake up poor memory and difficulty clocks tell them to go to bed Principal Chuck Story said, “My hours in a day. Twenty-four at 6 AM, go to school until 2:45, concentrating, which can affect a after 11 PM. When students big thing is I don’t think students hours to go to school, attend participate in various activities student’s performance in school. have to wake up very early in go to bed as early as they used after school activities, work on until 9, and work on homework It makes people more irritable, the morning to be at school, it to. If students made a habit out homework, spend time with for a few hours. This hectic hurting the quality of a person’s throws off their natural clock of going to bed earlier, tiredness family, friends, and boyfriends or schedule makes necessities like life and relationships. Lacking and makes them very tired. would not be a big issue.” girlfriends, and deal with other getting sleep difficult to come by. sleep can also cause physical Because of this, schools have Whether students are daily stressors. For most teens, “Stress is a big factor. stress. It weakens the immune begun to change to later start making an effort to go to bed sleeping is not a priority when Many students have a lot of system, so tired people are more times. One experimental school, early or not, one thing is certain: they have a full schedule and homework, especially seniors. likely to get sick. It also leads to New Century High School the busy lifestyle of teens today still want time for having fun and And when you’re involved in weight gain and is a factor that in Lacey, Washington, is an is taking its toll on their health. doing activities they enjoy. extracurriculars and you don’t causes obesity. afternoon/evening high school Until a better solution is found, Because society today is have time to come home and Although stress and busy that goes from 2:30 PM to 9 high schoolers will continue to so fast-paced, it is extremely do homework you miss sleep lifestyles are the major causes PM. Alternative ideas like this struggle to balance sleep with difficult for teens to get the sleep because you have to stay up of teen sleep deprivation, some may help remove some of the everything else going on in their they require. According to www. and do it. Because you’re research shows that teenagers’ exhaustion and pressures teens lives. Energy drinks and coffees webmd.com, growing teenagers responsible, unfortunately,” said biological clocks naturally tell face today. with remain a necessity, and should get at least nine or ten senior Alaina Walker. them to go to bed later and However, it doesn’t appear tired, blank stares and sleeping hours of sleep each night. The Getting sleep really is a wake up later. Studies show that the 7:35 AM start time at LC in class will be constant. lifestyle some teens lead makes necessity. A lack of sleep causes that most teenagers’ natural will be changing anytime soon. Story by Kaiti Madsen [page eight - inside look] [the wire]

Gas Prices Hit Record Breaking Decrease

When gas prices began cantly. Now that gas is going down, going down, people got excited, people have just a little more free- and it was only down to three dol- dom to go extra places and not wor- lars. Gas hit two dollars, and peo- ry as much about filling up. ple began filling their tank thinking “I was excited, ecstatic gas was going to sky rocket the even,” said Doffin when gas first next morning. Now the gas prices began going down. For now, the are even down to 1.99 in certain gas prices will continue to decrease areas around Council Bluffs, and until oil prices increase. Until then, people have been filling their tank make the most of the extra money and not emptying their pocket and enjoy it. book. When gas prices go up, “I’m able to keep my tank many people will go back to the driv- full and can go more places,” said ing less, carpooling, and bike riding. senior Lisa Doffin. Gas prices have But until then gas prices are low and noticeably been decreasing since according to Doffin, when they go September mainly because the back up, “they are going to stink.” price of oil has gone down signifi- Story by Savannah Greening

Junior Julie Thomas Photo by Kyla Spencer Image by blitzusa.com Photo by Kyla Spencer 10 Random and Useless Guess the Facts N 1. The most common school colors in the United States are Little bo peezy has lost her white and blue. sheezy 2. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. N’ was all like “where you at?” 3. The Sahara Desert is larger than the entire United u Just chillax and theyz be back States. Waggin their bootays all phat 4. The United States has the most tornados in the world – more than 700 a year. r 5. The filaments for the first electric lamp were made of bamboo. 6. In Britain, during the 1880s, “pants” was considered a s dirty word. The big egg be chillin’ on a wall 7. On average, you talk to yourself more than anyone else. e He be straight up trippin’ 8. One of the most popular soups in 1929 was peanut but- N’ all the man’s gadgets ter soup. N’ all the man’s possey 9. 15% of women start Christmas shopping in July. r Couldn’t save him from slippin’ 10. Fetuses can hiccup. From Uncle John’s Gigantic Bathroom Reader y Rhymes by Sara Marshall Story by Athena Burns and Deanna Williams Rhymes Pyle’s Photography

See You at Sno-Ball! Package A: 2 8x10, 2 5x7, 20 wallet size $26.00 Package B: 2 8x10, 16 wallet size $20.00 Package C: 2 5x7, 8 wallet size $13.00 From left to right: Senior Chris Wilson, Junior Chas Busch Package D: 2 3x5, 4 wallet size $7.00 and Juniors Zach Pettepier, and Ryan Photo by Sanjula Mahathantila 12 wallet size $7.00 Penney. Photo by Sara Marshall 2 5x7 $10.00

[page nine - inside look] [december 2008] Mrs. Nielsen: “Like Mr. Bergman, Except She’s A Chick”

Laurie Nielsen has class in college, so natu- Speech all year around, been teaching at this rally she enjoyed it. “I and Creative Writing school for 19 years. She is loved doing Drama, but first and third trimester. a speech teacher and the with a family it gets pretty Every morning for adviser for Large Group hard directing plays, so I breakfast, Nielsen eats a and Individual Speech. had to stop,” said Nielsen. bowl of cereal, “I love ce- Nielsen loves writing, Before becoming a real! My favorites are Rai- directing plays, and teacher, Nielsen was not sin Bran and Quaker Oats. her Raisin Bran cereal. completely sure what [They are] good and good “She’s really cool career she wanted to be for you. I also like Reese’s and funny. She’s like Mr. in. “I used to want to be Puffs, but I eat them dry.” Bergman except she’s a doctor, which is weird A typical day in a chick,” said freshman because I hated blood.” Nielsen’s room starts off Sanjula Mahathantila. “My junior year was with people sharing their Nielsen attended the when I decided that [I good news, and often University of Nebraska at wanted to be a teacher],” kids begging for her to Lincoln for four years. Be- said Nielsen. “My high pass out candy. With her cause of the courses she school Drama teacher optimistic personality, took in college, Nielsen told me I’d be a good Nielsen makes it easy for is also qualified to teach teacher, so that’s when kids to end the period off English classes and Drama. I decided.” Classes that with laughter and smiles. “She is the best teacher I’ve ever had in my life,” said senior Nielsen took a Drama Nielsen teaches are Story by Chris Jensen Amanda Delaware. Photo by Maria Jones

“I like waking up in the “Probably the excitement morning and finding of being together with presents. I also like the What family, the presents, and food.” Is snow.” Sophomore Elizabeth Mann Your Senior Emily Gates Favorite Part “I have a huge family, so on About Christmas and Thanksgiving “Getting together with all we get together and just the your family and just having a eat. And I get a lot of good time.” presents.” Holidays? Junior Taylor May Freshman Zachary Edwards New Girl Headline at Ellendale Public School did ing to, but she says she will deal she is enjoying Lewis Central a not start until nine in the morn- with that when the time comes. lot. She is looking forward to ing, so it has been quite dif- Though Mueller misses her attending the school dances ficult for her to adjust to- get old school’s open campus poli- and prom. “Especially since it’s ting up so early in the morning. cy for lunch and her old friends, my senior year,” said Mueller. American Government Story by Kyla Spencer with social studies teacher John Drake is Mueller’s favor- Fellowship of Christian Athletes ite class here at Lewis Central, as well as at her school in El- lendale. Mueller enjoys playing Angel Tree volleyball, watching wrestling, spending time with friends, Christmas Gift Project and hanging out with her boy- friend Lucas. Back in North Dakota she also enjoyed hunt- What is Angel Tree? ing; in fact her school gave the It gives individuals and groups, like you, an opportunity to students time off during - hunt buy gifts for children whose parents are in prison. As senior Brittany Mueller adjust to her last year of ing season. She has only two high school, many students are welcoming her. girls who she would describe as How can you help? Photo by Bridget Mulligan her best friends, because she is admittedly a very shy person. Angel Tree gift buying is open to Titan Time classes, clubs, “It’s not like I need a other groups, and individuals. Brittany Mueller is an It is a big change from her old ton of friends,” said Mueller. eighteen-year-old senior who high school with only two-hun- “I plan on going to college Stop by Room 301 and pick up the name, age, and recently left her small town dred students in to the huge, for Massage Therapy and Busi- gift suggestions for the children you choose. of Ellendale, North Dakota to crowded hallways of Lewis ness,” Mueller said. She is not move in with her dad in Iowa. Central High School. Classes quite sure what college she is go- Thanks in advance -- LC FCA [page ten - faces] [the wire] Get Fit With Wii Fit!

Parents and skeptics alike improve basic balance and overall be a little difficult. But for those have long since connected video health. who cannot even stand on one leg games with unhealthiness. To The aerobics portion is for a prolonged amount of time, them video games are only good designed to burn calories by then yoga may not be the best for a few things: rotting the brain, constantly moving around. It choice. making kids lazy, and making includes hula-hooping, basic People are able to choose them act disrespectful or violent. running, boxing, with basic and their own trainer to help guide But things have changed! Now advanced step-ups. Each of the them through the workouts. A with the Nintendo Wii and Wii exercises comes with fun, upbeat male or a female trainer may be Fit, people are required to move music in order to make the chosen. They offer a lot of tips and around in order to play. experience more enjoyable. advice on how to improve balance The Wii Fit is a game for the The strength section improves or strength. The downside is just Nintendo Wii gaming system. It muscles with workouts like basic how annoying it can get. The comes with a game disc and a pushups, lunges, jackknives, trainers constantly remind the balance board to do the activities planks, and more. For those who trainee if their balance is off, they on. desire an easy workout, they are shaky, or they need to workout With Wii Fit, people can simply choose a smaller number more. measure their body mass index of repetitions. Overall, the Wii Fit is an (BMI), their levels of balance, The balance games are entertaining game that will agility, and walking motions. After designed to help individuals slowly get people off the couch and the measurements, folks receive achieve better posture. Tight rope exercising. It may not have the a Wii Fit age to determine how walking, down hill skiing, down killer graphics that the PS3 has, physically fit, or unfit, they are; hill snowboarding, and standard but it makes working out a bit they can also set goals to lose walking are just a few activities to more fun and easy for individuals Enjoying a healthy workout on the popular videogame Wii Fit, senior weight. choose from. who do not have the time to go Alex Mares performs a Side Plank during the Push Up Challenge. Other There are four types of Yoga stretches the muscles, down to the gym. The Wii Fit for games on Wii Fit include the Basic Step, Ski Jump, and Hula Hoop, all of exercises available: aerobics, improves flexibility, and helps the Nintendo Wii system receives which are designed to work on balance, muscle control, and flexibility. strength, yoga, and balance games. with balance. For those who have for out of five stars. Photo by Sara Marshall Each is designed to enhance and semi-good balance yoga will only Story by Deanna Williams Music Tha t Deserves a Lis ten Twilight Leaves Its Mark On Fans Music, to some people is the stuff of life. They drink in the harsh staccato rapping of Jay-Z and 50 Cent, sing along with Toby Keith and Car- The time is finally here, “Twi- as the book,” said junior Nichole the characters of the novel well. In rie Underwood, and rock out to Breaking Benjamin and Avenged Seven- light” opened in theaters Novem- Hartley. Which is true, especially the book Edward is very smooth fold. But whatever happened to the music that does not top the charts? ber 21st. The past months have if you are an avid reader and able and sure of himself, while in the left fans excited and anxious. to pick up on the left out or added movie he stutters and second He Is Legend Nemesea Blogs viewed on mtv.com details. guesses himself. A lot of heavy metal bands act Ever hear of a music genre gushed over the “The previews After seeing the film for- my unhappy in their music. They sing, called gothic or symphonic metal? latest clips and “I want to see it, show that it will be self I have to agree that there are scream, and lament all of the things Maybe not, but most people have trailers; some fans because the book was different than other significant differences between they are unhappy with in their life. heard this kind of music in bands thought they might vampire movies,” said the book and the movie. An ex- He Is Legend is a little different be- like Evanescence. Nemesea, hail- be giving too much awesome,” said junior senior Dakota Kruger. ample would be when Edward cause they sing, scream, and rock ing from the Netherlands, is a little away. Videos show- Ashley Clouser. An apparent shows Bella what happens when out to lyrics like “There’s a monster bit like that. This band comes with ing detailed scenes change in the story he goes into the sun; he takes her in my room, we discussed movies a female lead singer fond of hit- were posted on every video web- was the fight scene between - Ed from school into the forest instead over coffee.” Unfortunately, the ting high notes, deep guitar riffs, site, but you do not need a chat ward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and of going to the meadow first. In band is currently on hiatus writing and orchestra instruments such as room to find a Twilight fan, just James (Cam Gigandet). Bella Swan the movie the characters are not new music for their untitled, and the violin and piano. Their latest walk the halls of the school. (Kristen Stewart) is conscious for as relaxed at times when they are unreleased, third album. Three album, “In Control,” was released “I want to see it, because the the fight, while in the book she in the book. This could be caused singles from this album have been in 2007 and reaches out to people book was awesome,” said junior was knocked out before Edward by a lack of chemistry between the released though; among them the who have faced oppression and Ashley Clouser. was able to get there. Not only are actors. science fiction inspired “Everyone I breakups, but refuse to let that get The biggest question seems some scenes different, but actors I give this film a four and half Know Has Fangs.” the better of them. to be, will the movie be as good as as well. stars though it is very different Dead Celebrity Status Cross Canadian Ragweed the book? Fans have discussed how from the book, it does not disap- A lot of people can point With a name taken from the “The movie is never the same some of the actors did not portray point. Story by Bridget Mulligan out rap artists who only have lyr- names of three band members, ics about sex, women, cars, and CCR as it is often called is an alter- drugs, but Dead Celebrity Status is native country band that knows definitely not on that list. This rap how to rock. This decade old band makes a Comeback group, hailing from Toronto, Cana- comes complete with lyrics about Earl da, consists of two rappers and a small town life, love, and battles “My Name is Earl” begins with also received their GEDs. In addi- out of a coma, loved his list again, DJ. They may have only released with drug addiction. CCR has even Earl Hickey, a small-time criminal tion to all of this they also end up got engaged, and called off the one album in 2006, called “Blood opened for country singers Gary Al- winning the lottery. However, Earl getting jobs at an appliance store wedding. Music,” but with lyrics tackling len and Dierks Bentley, but do not does not have long to celebrate as truck loaders. Season four began September tough subjects like pop culture and be fooled. CCR is still true to the as he is hit by a car. While in the Their tenure does not last 25 and thus far has featured ap- anorexia, Dead Celebrity Status’s college crowd and Southern radio hospital he decided to change his long though, because Earl’s preg- pearances by actors such as Seth lines have already made fans out stations that have taken them so life after watching an episode of nant ex-wife Joy, has a trial for the Green, David Arquette, and Jason of some people. far. Story by Taylor Basch “Last Call with Carson Daly” once murder of a truck driver. Earl ad- Priestly. Although guest stars may he heard about karma and what it mits to the crime even though he not make or break an episode, could do for his life. did not do it, to ensure that Joy will they added another dimension While in the hospital Earl not have to give birth in prison. Af- to the series. Alyssa Milano is ex- created a list to repay everyone ter spending most of season 3 in pected to return in some future he thought he had wronged. His prison, Earl finally is released. episodes to reprise her role as friends, his family, and even people At first he does not like the life Earl’s ex-finance, Billie. “My Name he does not really know. Until sea- on the outside world. Without his is Earl” airs every Thursday at sev- son 3 things do not change much brother, Randy lost his job and the en on NBC, so if you have become for Earl and his brother Randy. Earl apartment. In the span of a few disinterested with the series now and his brother moved out of a months time he hated his list, was is the time to return. hotel and got an apartment; they hit by a car, went into a coma, got Story by Brandon Myers

[page eleven - entertain me] [december 2008] Dear, Chris & Steven Story by Steven ElonichJokes Disclaimer: Dear Christopher, The following questions I can not stand my boss. He is a rude, uncaring, giant mustached and advice were all made up by buffoon! He pays me too little, gives me too many unwanted hours, yells What did Mr. Steven Elonich and Christopher at me, and talks about me with the other people on staff, sometimes he McLaughlin say to the Jensen. Our intentions are only even gives me massages! I would quit but I really need this job and no student with two broken to be funny with different -is other places I would be interested in working at are accepting applica- legs, their arms tied behind sues. If your feelings were hurt, tions. What do I do? their back, while on fire that please tell us so we can have a Signed, frustrated with was unable to attend play laugh like our readers do. management. rehearsal? “Just handle it.” Story by Chris Jensen and Steven Dear Frustrated, Elonich If your boss is giving you massages, report him! Try saying, “R- A-P-E: get your fingers off of me.” Make this buffoon know who is boss; A shout shook the Lewis Central shave off his mustache and throw a pie in his face. If he does not make it High School building. Investigators What did the toddler say when Dear Chris, easier for you to work there, then you need to start a strike right outside come to inspect where it came Mr. Story bit him? I love my parents, I really the business from and the cause. They come Charlie bit mehhhhh! do. But lately they have been doing back hours later to report to the something horrible and disgusting. faculty and students what had Their food is horrifying and I can- Dear Steven, happened. What was it? not stand to be in the same house Last week I found a goldfish outside my house and then Mr. Hanafan saw the What is Mrs. Reida’s favorite took it home. My mom made me put it back outside and I miss it as it, let alone eat it. What do I girls basketball team football team? do? a lot. What should I do to heal my broken heart? The Oakland Reidas Signed, Hungrily Unsatisfied Signed, Lonely and Depressed miss a shot.

Dear Unsatisfied, Dear Lonely, Try getting over it. How Are you kidding me? It is only a goldfish. How do you fall in about you make your own food in- love with a little gold bubble blowing seaweed dwelling monster? stead of making Ma and Pa do all What can you even do with a goldfish? Play fetch? How pathetic the work for you? Teenagers these days are so naïve to the hard work do you have to be to fall in love with that? My advice to you is their parents put into preparing a to get counseling, lie down, think about your life so far, and find meal each and every day. It is defi- ways to make yourself better. Get friends and if you cannot do nitely the hardest thing to do in that, make them up (preferably not animals). Just learn what your life, so be respectful, you jerk! priorities are and grow up. ExpressTITAN

Photos by Sara Marshall

Mr. Stud MuffinBy Jerrod Scheffelx

sing rti ve d A Advertising will be

sold at $25 for a 2 x 4 space or $50 for 4 x 4 space. Information can be obtained by calling (712)366-8220. Ask for Mary Langille. Or by - email: mlangille@lewis central.k12.ia.us.

[page twelve]