An Independent Student Newspaper Serving the University Community Since 1906 The University Echo ail I Volume 79/Issue 9 The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga October 26, 1984 Echo News 2 The Echo/October 26, 1984 Tennessee Intercollegiate State Legislature Students have real voice in TISL By Boyd White Echo Features Writer The 21st general assembly of the Tennessee House occupied at all times," said Koberts. At the end of the sessions, the lop 10 bills are Intercollegiate state Legislature (TISL) will meet Nov. Certain positions at TISL are appointed, including reviewed by the executives of TISL who then decide 15-18 in Nashville at the State Capitol, said David the TISL executives and the members of the Supreme- which bills will go to the actual State Legislature Koberts, assistant to the dean of students. Court, added Koberts. where they may be voted on and passed into TISL is a legislative body that convenes yearly in Ihe executive board includes the slate governor, Tennessee state law, said Roberts. the House of Representatives and Senate chambers, the lieutenant governor, the secretary ol state, the "TISL is really a very direct way for students to slid Koberts. It is a mock legislature in which treasurer, the speaker pro tempore and the speakers have a voice in the legislative process, and they do students from all institutions of higher education are of both houses, he said. get results," he noted. invited to attend, be said. The groups that make up Ihe Supreme Court, which is concerned with SCA s Chapter 006 Fund, created by the s I TISL are the House of Representatives, the Senate internal TISL problems. is composed of one Supreme student activities fee. was originally a bill that was and the Supreme Court. Court justice and seven other justices, said Koberts introduced at TISL in 1977, according to Roberts Charles McCall. SdA Senator (Dist. V) has attended Any student can apply to be a delegate for TISL. It passed both houses and went on to the state TISL and served on its first Supreme Court last year. A student docs not have to be interested in polities. legislature where it became a stale law . "I've never found anything as interesting or active in SCA, or have any great know ledge about "Any student government or student body at an\ exciting as being at the House when over 90 people- parliamentary procedure in order to apply. Koberts state-supported institution of higher education can are voting and talking about various bills,'* said said. Utilize this law now," said Roberts. McCall. "We encourage anyone who is interested in how Three major benefits come out of TISL, said "Something comes up," continued McCall. "and things work and in getting firsthand experience of Roberts. there* are at least two do/en sharp people trying to what a legislative body does to apply." he said. "First, a student who is not involved in SCiA and pick something apart while* another two do/en are- An SCA-appointcd committee containing people- attends TISL benefits because he gets to see what the trying to keep it all together. Student government outside of student government will carefully review legislative* process is all about. Second, UTC benefits is nothing compared to TISL; TISL is fantastic!" every application, said Roberts. SGA members have since most of the students who go to TISL usualb "I believe, said McCall, "that TISL is the most to go through the application process the same* as become involved in student government activities important thing we do in the fall semester. It is vital everyone else, he said. on campus." that we go and protect our interests and participate. "We are trying to get new people who are serious "Finally, the state itself benefits since TISL lets Up to 99 scats arc* available in the House of about TISL to apply in order to generate new- students become aware that issues concerning them Representatives with each school receiving a number leadership potential and ideas," added Roberts. are not just issues at UTC, but issues of a broader of seats proportionate to its size, continued Roberts. At TISL the delegates introduce legislation which spectrum," said Roberts. Each school is also given one* position in the Senate, concerns them and which may affect every "Delegates get to see that all universities, whether he added. Tenncssean, said Roberts. private or state-supported, large or small, have a UTC usually sends approximately 10 delegates to Bills presented at TISL go through the committee- common ground," Roberts said. "That is, all colleges TISL each year, having about six seats in the House process like the regular Tennessee State Legislature have problems that students as concerned adults and one Senate position. "We also select two or and are introduced before both houses at TISL where should work together to solve." three alternatives in order to keep our seats in the they are debated and voted upon, he explained. UTC celebration for Ten Years Ago...th e Grenada liberation By Laura Gunnells Echo Sens ii titer By Claire Bradford Echo \ews Editor 'Gubernatorial candidate Ray Rlanton •I'TC football Mocs knocked off When President Reagan proclaims Judge Bill Cox, U.S. Congressional held a press conference at lie nationally ranked Jacksonville State. Friday, Oct. 26 National Student candidate John Davis and Slate Senate * 15-9. •Rosalind l-lias. mezzo-soprano. Liberation Day. UTC's College candidate Grady Cant will be here Republications will be ready to among others, said Reed. performed with the Chaiianooga •(•rote 129 film of the week: celebrate and the secretary of the "We sent letters to all local and state- Symphom at the Tivoli. HedilZZk'd, starring Peter Cook and Department of Energy, Robert Odle candidates and officials and have Dudley Moore. w ill be here to help, according to Bates •I TC requested funds for received letters from them all telling us Reed, president of the UTC College that they will be here or why they construction of the line Arts •Judge Kllis Meacham. historical Republicans. cannot," he said. "We originally building Ree|iiests w ere also made lor novelist, addressed the ITC literary "The College Republicans' National planned for it to be a bipartisan event. exterior cleaning and waterproofing societ*.. Lambda lota Tan Committee said our plans to celebrate of Race. Hooper and brock Halls Senator Ray Albright will introduce the liberation of American students Odle, who will speak at a public •An editorial expressed student and from Granada are the most extensive reception at 1 p.m. in the Tennessee •A letter to the editor presented the laeult*. concerns that the mechanical of any around the nation," said Reed. Room, said Reed. "We hope to have- solution to ihe parking problem: hilly Coat (a machine designed to The celebration will start at 11:45 live music from either the Shriner ban ali cars. clear leaves from streets and a.m. with a parade of antique cars Bagpipe Band or the Lookout Valley sidewalks) made loo much noise- carrying political candidates and High School Band." •Sd\ voted to allow the Young when it was wolfing down "dead officials of local and state government Socialists' Alliance to participate in "We also hope to have a surprise- organic matter. down Vine Street to the UTC library Organization Month Ihe* vote was visit from one of the students who was steps, he continued. 10-0-2, t'nmi Kcho Oct. J5. /V/. rescued from Granada," he added. Odle, State Legislator Bill McAfee. October 26, 1984/The Echo 3 What's big, brown and blows steam?
By Claire Bradford, Echo News Editor and Lorl Cathey, Echo Sens Writer That odd-shaped, steaming metal building at the back of the cemetery on Fifth Street and those little puffs of steam that seem to come from nowhere about campus have everything irv common. The building is the cooling tower for I 'TC's energy management system and the puffs of steam are- created by surface or rain water coming into contact with the pipes that carry 380 degree water to the buildings on campus, according to Bill Denning, senior power plant operator. ,. The energy plant generates hot and cold water which is routed through a series of underground pipes. Cold water is used for air conditioning and hot water is used for heating, said Denning. "We use natural gas or oil to generate steam that heats the water to 380 degrees," he said. "Then we sent it out of the plant under J30 pounds of pressure per square inch." That water travels to individual building systems and heats the water that is waiting in the pipes there, he continued. "The heated water in the building system pipes, in turn, provides the heat for that building through another process. Denning said.
If you're angry about being steamed, here's the source. Devices known as "absorption chillers" cool the water for the air conditioning. The temperature of that water varies from »2 to i8 elegrees, depending on the weather. It is then piped to individual buildings on campus, said Denning. Sophomores offered fundsWhe n using a steam-driven turbine to help in a pressure reduction process, the system nets the By Laura Gunnells University approximately 1.000 tons of free air Echo \en s Writer conditioning, he added. UTC sophomores interested in a career in deadline, said Fulton. government service at the federal, state or local To be eligible, students must be full-time- The- average cost of air conditioning in the usual levels are invited to apply for the 1985 Harry S. sophomores working toward or planning to pursue manner" (e.g., gas-fired system) is approximately $1.25 per square foot, according to Joe Johnson, Truman Scholarship, said Dr. R. C. Fulton, director a baccalaureate program, have a 3 0 grade point superintendent of maintenance. "Our system costs of the UTC Honors Program average, stand in the upper fourth of the class, and about S"7 cents per square foot," he said. Ihe sponsor of the scholarships, the Harry S. be a U.S. citizen or IS national heading toward a Truman Scholarship Foundation established by career in government, he added This system is much more cost effective." he said, "especially because of the free' energy we get Congress in I9**5, operates the scholarship program Aside from the UTC competition, the final from the cooling process to provide opportunities for outstanding I S application procedure will require a statement of students The program prepares students with career plans, a list of past public service activities or There are still buildings on campus that are not on the system, however They are the Physical Plant potential leadership ability for careers in government leadership positions, a current transcript and a building, Cadek, Cuerry, Bretskc and Fletcher Halls service. 600-word essay discussing a public policy issue of and the South Stadium on Oak Street, said Johnson. In April 1985. the Foundation will award 105 the student's choice. Fulton said. scholarships nationally. Fach award covers tuition, Interested students should contact Fulton However, expansion plans are underway to help fees, books, room and board, to a maximum of immediately at 202 (merry Center or ""SS-»I 28 He get all campus buildings on-line and provide for a back-up system, Johnson said. 15,000 annually for up to four years. UTC can said a student w ill have little chance to be considered "The system can't be beat w hen it comes to fuel nominate two students for the competition which as a UTC nominee unless he/she contacts him by conservation," said Johnson. officially begins after the Dec 1 entrance application Friday, Nov. 9. Last Day Today
For Application for Spring 7985 NEED HELP? Bethany: State Legislative Internships 622-7360 (pregnancy testing & confidential counseling) Stipends $1500 - $2500 Available Tennessee Office: BETHANY See Rick Wilson Holt 232 F 4706 Brainerd Rd., Suite 104 CHRISTIAN Chattanooga, TN 37411 SERVICES Or Political Science Dept. 4 The Echo/October 26, 1984 Echoes and Answers Add it up — a single vote counts Echo Staff Report Question of the week: Do you think your vote in the presidential election matters? Why or why not. Aaron Hargrove: Yes, it matters. If nobody voted, Bill Ramsey: Yeah, if you don't stand up for what there would be no democracy. What if everybody you believe in, nobody else will for you. took the attitude that their vote didn't matter? Ross Harbison: I don't think it'll change the TerriJones: I don't. Only for the reason that I don't outcome, but I think the idea matters. I think know enough about the candidates to vote* either Reagan's got it locked up. way. 1 wouldn't want to vote the wrong way. I probably won't vote. Isn't that awful? Harry Zelinsky: Of course it matters. That's one of my privileges and rights as an American citizen, Tracie Wilbur: I guess. It would matter because I'm one vote counted might swing the election. a registered voter and 1 think it would. It might not count by itself but it should with, say, a whole state. Fay NolemYcs. It does. If you don't vote you can't complain about results. Rick Ogle: I believe it does. Everybody's vote- matters a little bit. But not to a great extent. It's just Mike Seiter: 1 think it matters. Students in schools Tracie Wilburn Harry Zelinsky one vote. everywhere will have an influence on the outcome of the election. Lyle Quarles: Yes, I do. Because if you don't vote, how can anybody express their opinions of the Dr. Moughrabi: Definitely. In many states a few candidates and their views? It's the way the votes will make a difference. In states like Tennessee American public elects its presidents. a few votes can make a difference, so everybody has to vote, regardless of who you vote for. Mike Brown: I don't like either candidate right Sherry Bonnington: It definitely does. If nobody now, but I still think you should vote because one voted or thought their vote counted, why would we of the candidates views are going to lie closer to your have elections? own feelings.
DeAnn Boyd: Yes. They decide our future. Dr. Robert Swansbrough: I think, particularly in Tennessee, our vote matters. In 1980 President Lisa Lockett: Yes. I think it matters. Because that's Reagan won with less than one-third of one percent DeAnn Boyd our right and our vote can make a difference. of the vote, yet he carried all 10 of Tennessee's Sherry Bonnington electoral votes. With a difference of only 4,700 votes Dr. Edward Green: Yes, it matters. If you assume between President Carter and Ronald Reagan, every your vote has no effect, you're simply validating a Tennesscans vote really did count. The considerable self-fulfilling prophecy. attention that's been paid to Tennessee by the numerous visits of Walter Mondale, (ieraldine Dean Sauder: Yes, because historically there have Fcrraro, as well as President Reagan, indicates that been ver\ close elections where only, for instance, the Washington strategists see Tennessee as a critical five votes in different precincts could have made a swing state in 198* difference. Also, since I'm voting Republican this election and a poor turnout is what the Republicans Ezekiel Ette: I don't vole because I'm not a citizen fear most. I think if everyone took a lackadaisical I'm from Nigeria. However, if I was a voter, I would attitude, they'd be in trouble vote. A single vote can decide who gets elected. In Nigeria, right before the present military takeover, Melanie Smith: Yes. Because there's a lot of good it was an imitation of the U.S. government...but candidates and it decides our future. They decide elections were not handled fairly. I think it is done Melanie Smith what happens to the world. fairly here. Ezekiel Ette «©HH<^«
SGA adds lasting seats The University Echo By Claire Bradford Echo Mews Editor The UTC Student Senate appropriated $500 on the advice of the University's attorneys Debbie Cannan Editor Tuesday for the purchase of three concrete tables "The attorneys advised that it would be unlaw fill and six concrete tables and six concrete benches for for the Student Government Association to spend Business Manager Elbert Tucker the patios on Oak Street. state funds in support of any political candidate,'' News Kditor Claire Bradford Compton said. Sponsor Kevin Mann (Dist. HI) said the tables Features Editor Susie Walters would measure four feet by six feet and be four During committee reports, the campus ASM Peaturei Editor Mark Hopkiiu inches thick, lie said the price quote obtained from observation committee chairman. Mann, read a letter Sports Editor Mike Reader ASM Sports Editor Amy Richter Broadway Feed and Seed Company was S 492. from a student about the condition of the restrooms < hiet Photographer Shell) Kirchnet "The patios arc those recently built along the sides on campus. Mann said the committee would cheek Production Manager l im Young on the matter of Oak Street at the bases of the trees,'' he said. I at ulty Advisor |ohn \omholi Senator Hilly Dearing (Dist. II) reminded the Senate Senators lord (Dist. I) and Ross (Dist. I) were not that they had said 11300 was too much for a Hag present.
pole. "I think more people would get more out of The opinions expressed in Till UNIVERSITY ECHO arc Hag pole." he said. Student Government Association expressly those of the individual writers and do not ( "It's kind of hard to sit on a Hag pole.'' rebutted Agenda—October 2J, 1 J84 necessarily reflect the opinions of the personnel ot I 'he senator Phil Gilbert (Dist II). Item 2: University of Tennessee at Chattanooga. The publication is a student newspaper published weekly during the school The vote was 15-1-0. Dearing voted against the WHEREAS The Chattanooga News-Free Press has \c.ir with the exception of holidays and examination hill. recently stopped carrying the comic strips "Bloom periods. In other business, the Senate approved a resolution County'' and "Doonesbury" in its Sunday edition, Ihe ECHO welcomes letters to the editor, but all letters (see box. next to this story) condemning the AND must bear the writer's signature and address tor verifica actions of the News-Free Press in removing the comic- WHEREAS this was done in a spirit of censorship tion Anonymous letters will not be published However, names will IK withheld by request repressions of opinions strips "Bloom County" and "Doonesbury" from its rather than in a spirit of editorial integrity, AND should be brief, preferably under 2S0 words We reserve Sunday edition. WHEREAS such censorship is reproachful and the- right to edit as to length or libelous statements or to The bill's sponsor. Senator Paul burke (Dist. Ill) against basic tenets upon which this Nation was reject altogether letters will reflect writer's own style, with called for a roll-call vote. It passed 12-4-0. Senators founded, only limited grammatical corrections made I etters to the who voted "no" were Hodge (Dist. II). Corbin (Dist NOW THEREFORE BE TT RESOLVED by the editor should be received no later than Tuesday of the week they are to be published III). Dearing (Dist. II) and Jackson (Dist. IV). Student Senate of UTC that we find this action by In executive reports. President Ken Compton said the News-Free Press to be ill-considered, and without he had to veto last week's priority item that any reelceming qualities whatsoever, and we urge the .Sews. Features. Sports. Editorial. appropriated $25 for advertising for presidential News-Free Press to reconsider. Photography and Advertising 755-4298 candidate Dennis Scrette Compton said he did so
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By David Brewer Echo News Hliter The Faculty Council accepted a Swansbrough, chairman of the choose different cognate areas to do "Our program is modeled after other proposal to adopt a Master ol Public Graduate Council. their course work." said Swansbrough MPA (Masters of Public Administration) Polio Administration (MPPA) graduate (The MPPA) is meant to be a broad "It's an attraction to many people in programs throughout the country. The program at a scheduled council interdisciplinary program with a the community," he added. courses we have submitted are usually meeting. Thursday. The vote was 21-3. policy focus such that people would The graduate program (MPPA) is set offered in the same light elsewhere "It's like negotiating a major gel a basic public administration up over a two-year period, including Wc are trying to lay out a qualified treaty.-' said Dr. Robert II. background and would be able to summer school, said Swansbrough program for MPA that meets standards "From our needs assessment, we on a national level ol certification and found that two-thirds of our students is modeled after courses that are would probably be taking the program offered around the country. part-time in the evening," he added. "The Tennessee Higher Education "We dealt with seven different Commission demands that we departments from four colleges that (Graduate Council) demand a need for are involved in this graduate- the program, both in terms of student program," said .Swansbrough. demand and community demand, The masters program is modeled Swansbrough continued. "We had an after programs at the University of excellent response in the findings from Tennessee at Knoxville, Middle various employees in the area." Tennessee State University and The masters proposal was approved Memphis State, he said. "Its (the by the Graduate Council from "a program) not that unusual because if programmatic point of view it was, we'd have trouble getting it contingent on clarification of through THEC (Tennessee Higher funding," according to Swansbrough. Education Commission)," he added. Dr. Charles Hyder, assistant provost A faculty council member for graduate affairs, said he could questioned the course content of the assure that the graduate program was program. He said there were more surveyed extensively. economic courses than political "The program is going to be fine Over 240 area high school and college students attended the C-130 Oriention Flight Demonstration sponsored by the UTC Military Science Department at Lovell Field last Friday. science courses. tuned once it's in effect," said I In reply, Dr. Swansbrough said, Swansbrough. ENGINEERING MAJORS HAVE vans ENOUGH STRESS WITHOUT HAVING JEWELERS TO WORRY ABOUT TUITION.
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Eirst I have to say two unpopular things: has room for everyone: its response to Mrs. Weaver's letter, saying that 1) The News-Free Press is perfectly within its rights "Gals...Minorities...Negroes," but that two kinds of "bloom Co." is "more fitting for a liberal editoriai in cancelling "Bloom County" and "Doonesbury." people won't be tolerated: "Bigots and page" than the funny pages. This is actually not the 2) It ain't censorship. Hom'sexuals!" Mrs. Weaver complained that it is first time the Free Press has excluded a comic on Cheek the dictionary, friends; a censor is a wrong to make fun of bigots and homosexuals— political grounds; in the months prior to the I98(, government official. I know, I know, the word is rather that they should be prayed for. Presidential elections, "Doonesbury" did a series misused a lot. And hey, I signed the petition too, But I'm afraid Mrs. Weaver missed the point; in entitled "A Journey Through Ronald Reagan> even though it said "We protest this censorship, etc, fact she has fallen victim to the joke herself. The Brain," which the editors apparently found s< etc,"—mainly because I want to see those comic- cartoonist is actually making fun of a flaw he sees damaging that they dropped "Doonesbury" until strips stay in the paper as much as anyone does. But in the Republican rhetoric: To be against bigots and after the election. The Free Press doesn't seem to put a private organization isn't capable of real homosexuals /.va bigot. By saying homosexuals need much faith in the citizen's ability to choose foi censorship. To say the Free Press is obligated to to be prayed for, Mrs. Weaver proves herself to be himself. Its editorial page reflects this; all of its provide us with certain reading material is like saying a bigot (again, in the veiw of the cartoonist). columnists speak from the Right. The Times is the Times is obligated to provide us with a Sunday Personally, I happen to agree with Mrs. Weaver somewhat better, although not saintly; James edition. It just isn't so. about homosexuals, and I don't think either one of Kilpatrick is the lone conservative voice. That having been said, I think we ought to us is a bigot on that score. The point is, however, And here is where I think we should direct oiu examine the comic strips in question to find out that the cartoonist is entitled to his opinion, and appeal—to the Free Press' sense of fair play. Ilu exactly what makes them offensive. The debate though I disagree with him, I was still able to issue is really this: Should a newspaper be an open began with a letter to the editor (Oct. 14) from a Mrs. appreciate the joke. forum for debate? Or should it pursue a lock-step Weaver, who apparently opposes "Bloom Co." on I don't think Mrs. Weaver really opposes "Bloom editorial policy governed by the beliefs of its editors? moral grounds. Specifically, she referred to the Co." on moral grounds. As Mr. Jeff Thomas pointed What's at stake is the sense in which the News-Fret Sunday, Oct. 7 strip which spoofed a Republican out in his letter to the editor (Oct. 22), the violent Press chooses to take its name..."free" as in a truly fund-raiser. At one point the penguin, Mr. Opus, and overtly sexual "Steve Roper" is actually much free press, or "news-free" as in pollution-free. who was playing a rich Texan (probably George worse. The real cause is the political content of Bush), said drunkenly that the Republican Party now "Bloom Co." The Free Press acknowledged this in Paul Ludwig
the students to demand their evacuation; less than island; and that the formidable Prime Minister 15 percent of the students initially wanted to leave, Margaret Thatcher was anything but amused at the Opinion/Yours most preferring to concentrate on preparing for escapade. Having accomplished absolutely nothing semester exams and obviously feeling themselves in the field of foreign affairs except to reduce reasonably safe. relations with the Soviet Union to their lowest and 3. Contrary to reports disseminated by the Reagan most dangerous level in 21 years, President Reagan Nuclear ills cured with pills administration that Cuba was sending and his ultra-hawkish followers sought and found reinforcements to Grenada, and that American forces an occasion to exercise their macho instincts, and To the BcllO: arrived just in time," the Cubans were actually to strike out after the bloody terrorist bombing ot I have been reading about a northern college that packing up and preparing to leave the island. Castro, U.S. armies in Beirut two days before, with little- has voted to stock cyanide pills that would be of course, knew of the planned invasion, although danger of retaliation But the Grenaclans were happy; distributed in the event of nuclear war. I would like- the American public was kept in the dark and now the) wire to become the beneficiaries ot to suggest that the Senate adopt a resolution calling newsmen were prohibited from visiting Grenada and American largesse, and millions of foreign aid dollars tor UTC to stock cyanide pills and distribute them from observing U.S. military preparations. would create a proper U.S. client state. in the event that Walter Mondale is elected president. i Ihe Reagan administration itself soon dropped Is this what UTC students wish to celebrate'' God, we will need them! the ostensible reason for invading Grenada, falling Albert H Bowman Sincerely, back on the claim that the Grenaclans were Professor of History Matt Allen establishing a gigantic arms depot on the island. presumably for Soviet and Cuban use. The Celebrate Grenada! Celebrate Grenada? Department of State and Defense published a hastily Dear Editor, Dear Editor: prepared "Grenada: A Preliminary Report on Dec. It has been brought to my attention that on Friday Repeated notices have appeared in the Echo 16. 1983, which featured pictures of crates of Soviet Oct. 26, Dr. Larry Ingle will lecture on the "needles: concerning a Student Liberation Day parade and rally 7.62mm small arms ammunition and some Soviet invasion of Grenada." Being a history major, 1 hav< planned for October 26, the anniversary of the rocket propelled grenades, of a Cuban barracks area, icveral questions I would like to direct to the histon United States' invasion of Grenada in 1983. The and of Maurice Bishop and Castro, among others. professor. promoters of this operation advertise it as a There was no picture of the psychiatric hospital Do you feel saving the lives of American student: celebration of the rescue of American students on which U.S. forces attacked and severely damaged in is needless? that tiny island. Those interested should be aware the belief that it was a Cuban stronghold. That was Do you feel the people who were saved from ; that: only one incident in a comedy of errors. The communist government were needless-' reductio ad ahsurdum was the awarding of 8,612 Do you feel stopping a potential air strip built b; 1. The government of Grenada which the U.S. combat decorations to U.S. forces, even though no communists in Cuba who have in the past 20 year invasion overthrew was not the one the Reagan more than 7,000 had taken part in the glorious made it known that they do not like our type o administration intended to depose at all; it was the victory over the poverty-stricken island of 108,000 government and would like to topple it wa socialist government of Maurice Bishop which had inhabitants. We have heard almost nothing of the needless' inspired the enmity of Washington, but Bishop had roughly 100 U.S. casualties of the operation. I have strong feelings about this because I am ir already been killed and succeeded by the army chief. the Army and I have a friend who was a part of thi; General Hudson Austin. Never mind that Grenada had only recently so-called needless invasion. He was proud to be i 2. The U.S. had no official representatives on become independent of Great Britian but was still part of the American involvement in saving lives. Grenada, but emissaries from the embassy on a member of the Commonwealth; that a British Signed Barbados visited Grenada and repeatedly encouraged governor-general represented the Crown on the Patrick Keith Swaffort Bulletin Board • . • If you would like to post a notice in the Echo Bulletin board, bring your written announcement to the. Echo Office before 5 p.m. on Tuesdays. Friday, Oct. 26, at 11:50 a.m. the Catholic Student "Project Management and Public Relations" is Center will celebrate a mass for Peace and Justice. the title of a program to be presented by James At 12:30 p.m. we will serve a meatless soup to remind Bradford, NASA Saturn and Apollo programs project ourselves of the world's hungry people. Your manager and director of Project Management donation for lunch will be forwarded to Bread for the Associates in Ffranklin, Tenn., Thursday, Nov. 15 at World to help with the African Relief Campaign. 8 p.m. in the Signal Mtn. Room. The program is sponsored by the International Association of A Hazardous Wastes Symposium, co-sponsored Business Communicators (IABC). Refreshments will by the environmental studies department, will be in be served. Grote 131 Saturday, Oct. 27 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Representatives from EPA, TVA and other agencies Golden Key National Honor Society will hold its will be guest panelists. first meeting Friday, Nov. 9 at 1 p.m. in the Signal Mtn. Room of the University Center. The meeting is Students interested in submitting work for a NOT ON THURSDAY as previoulsy announced in a possible solo or group show in Gallery II need to Golden Key program. submit a minimum of five slides, a resume and a statement explaining the work to Professor Stephen LeWinter at the art dept. by Nov. 5. All slides will be Advance tickets for UTC's ninth annual Madrigal judged by the Gallery II Selection Committee. For Dinner may be purchased by UTC faculty, staff and more information contact LeWinter 755-4578 or Ann students Oct. 25 - 31 by calling 755-4269. The tickets Nichols at 755-4178. are $16.78 plus tax. The dinner will be Dec. 13, 14, 15 and 16 in the Flag Room of the Guerry Center. Students who wish to begin Departmental Honors Pfeiffer/Stagmaier Dorms and the Student projects in January must apply to the Departmental Resident Assoc, will sponsor an All Dorm Run on Honors Committee by Nov. 1. Applications and Saturday, Oct. 27. The one-mile Fun Run will begin additional information are available from Herbert at 9:30 a.m. and the two mile run will begin at 10 a.m. Burhenn (232 Holt) or Robert C. Fulton (202 Guerry). Admission is 75 cents prepaid and $1 the day of the race. Races begin at Pfeiffer/Stagmaier Dorm. The International Student Organization will Refreshments will be provided for all runners. sponsor a speaker on "Future Peace in the Middle East" Monday, Nov. 5 in the Raccoon Mountain Internships with the Air Pollution Control Room at 7 p.m. Association, Moccasin Bend Sewage Treatment Plant, TVA, Soil Conservation Service and UTC Theatre will present Sam Shepard's "Buried Chattanooga Nature Center are currently available Child," Nov. 9-11 and Nov. 15-17 in the Dorothy through the Environmental Studies Program. Hackett Ward Theatre of the UTC Fine Arts Building. All performances begin at 8 p.m. Student tickets are UTC Theatre will present A. R. Gurney, Jr.'s "The $3. For reservations call 755-4269. Dining Room" Oct. 25-28 in the Studio Theatre of the Fine Arts Center at 8 p.m. Student tickets are $3. Mass for the Feast of All Saints, a holy day, will For advanced reservations call 755-4269 be celebrated Nov. 1 at 12:10 p.m. in the chapel at the Catholic Student Center, 514 Palmetto St. Mu Epsilon Delta, UTC's pre-med and allied The Eagles' Halloween Party is Saturday, Oct. 27 health club, will feature Dr. Steve Nitsch Wednesday, from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. at the Lake Park Apartments' Oct. 31 at 12 noon in Grote 420. All students, faculty and especially potential members of MED are invited recreation center on Mountain Creek Road. All and welcome. military science students and their guests are invited.
The Chattanooga Singers and UTC Orchestra The UTC Fall Wrestling Clinic will be held wil' hold their fall concert Sunday, Oct. 21 at 3 p.m. in Saturday, Nov. 3 from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. in the the Roland Hayes Concert Hall. There will be no Maclellan Gym. The clinic will emphasize takedowns, charge for admission. bottom work and pinning combinations. Contact the UTC division of Continuing Education at 120 Race Hall, 755-4344 for registration. Lambda lota Chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity will sponsor the Ms. Krimson and Kreme The UTC Military' Science Department is and Little Ms. Krimson and Kreme Pageant Thursday, sponsoring a ROTC rappelling outing at Eagle's Nov. 8 at 7 p.m. in the Roland Hayes Hall of the Fine Nest on Lookout Mtn. Saturday, Oct. 27 from 8 a.m. '% > ^ Arts Center. Tickets go on sale soon. $1 for students to 12 p.m. All UTC military science students are ••4 '". and $1.50 for non-students. encouraged to attend. Echo Features October 26, 1984/The Echo 9 Forever the Twain shall meet
Hy Kristine Lewis Echo features Writer If you happened to be walking ad ded. Twain said his favorite novel is cents worth to add to the presidential around campus last week and saw a As to running for president, Twain Huckleberry Finn because the first election. And when it gets down to strange man who looked slightly said he entered the race because I've year it was published it was banned in being alone in the voting booth and familiar, then you probably saw Mark tried other professions from reporter, Massachusetts." you don't like any of your choices, Twain. No, I'm not talking about his to editor, publisher, burgler and Even though Twain has banned 'Forget the Lemons, vote for ghost. Twain was on the UTC campus lawyer and I'm working my way up." himself from the ticket, he had his two Clemens." promoting his campaign for the "There's no broader platform than presidency. mine," said Twain. "I'm in favor of Twain's campaign speeches were anything and everything—of titled, "Wild Humorist of the Pacific temperance and intemperance, Slope"' and "Running for President," morality and qualified immorality, the but his comments touched on almost gold standard and free silver." everything. And he had an answer for If elected, Twain promises "to everything, too. mingle with the least criminal of the Twain was first Introduced by Ihe senators, if Cod allows it." Reverend Thomas Lane of the I'pon closing, Twain stated. I have Presbyterian campus ministry. said nothing hut the truth and I have- Stepping to the podium and hardly exaggerated that." announcing that Lane's introduction Twain opened the Thursday was much too long. Twain said he- morning convocation by saying. "We knew two things about Lane: "One is keep losing all the world's great he has never been in jail, and the other authors—Chaucer is dead, and so is is I don't know why" Shakespeare, and so is Milton, and I am Twain went on to tell about his life not feeling very well myself." as a boy. He quit school when his Then he gave UTC students a little- lather died When the Civil War came advice. "Always obey your teachers— along, he became a steamboat pilot. when you are in their presence," "I joined up with the Confederacy Twain said. Mark Twain seemed to catch everybody's eye in the University Center for about two or three weeks,'' he "And always respect your said. However, according to Twain, superiors—if you have any,'' he- the Confederacy fell as soon as he left. continued. "And if someone should So, Twain went West. But the West offend you, wait your chance. When was no place for a Presbyterian, said they come around the corner, hit them Twain, So I didn't remain one for with a brick." The man behind very long." For exercise, Twain said he sleeps After his first book was published. and then he rests "If exercising comes Twain said he started lecturing. "And over my spirit. I lay down til it goes I haven't worked a day since.'' he awav. he said. the moustache By Kristine Lewis Echo I eatures Writs* Hill McLinn began portraying Mark tons of TNT for every man. woman Twain in I0""1* at his seminary in and child on earth, said McLinn California. He rediscovered Twain He described the nuclear situation as when he found a Hal Holbrook record. two grown men knee deep in memorized a couple of stories and told gasoline and both scared One has them to friends McLinn perfected his seven matches and the other has eight, imitation and spent his first four or five but both think the) need more, even years performing at churches just for though one would do the trick tun One of the first steps in relieving tins "I saw Twain as a way of doing a situation, said McLinn. is to build trust program as therapy for releasing This starts with a commitment thai tension, said McLinn c.uh countr) is willing io keep, he- In 1980, he got the idea of having said Twain run lor president and combined "We all have points ol view he some of Twain's ideas with his own on continued. "Wherever those points of war and peace view are. we think we are right. We Alter Twain finished his campaign have to accept ourselves as well as speeches. McLinn gave his thoughts on others tor who they are We have to the nuclear arms race- allow lor each other those things According to McLinn. the United which are different. \\ hen we accept Slates and the Soviet Union alone ourselves lor who we are and can possess over SIMM) bombs, broken forgive ourselves, onlv then can we down, this means there are about IS lorgiv e others Bill McLinn might look like he's 75, but under all that make-up is a bright young man. 10 The Echo/October 26, 1984 October 26, 1984/The Echo 11
By Suzy-Q Walters Echo Eeatures Editor Billy Squier rocked Chattanooga Arena moving up Friday night with his magnetic energy. Dancing from one side of the By Elbert Tucker stage to the other. Squier played, Echo llusiness Manager teased, taunted and enthralled his Since the Roundhouse opened for business in "We're a secondary market so obviously there arc- 10,288 fans, the largest rock'n'roll October 1982, many major performers have made- people who will pass us by," Ross commented. "If crowd in the Roundhouse yet. concert appearances in the facility. Some of the acts they've got the time in between stops, and if it would That's how the story read February probably would have never performed in the pay them to play here, they will." I9H3 when Squier first came to the Chattanooga area because the largest facility prior Commenting on low ticket sales. Ross said it is Arena. And his second visit should to the arena's completion w as Memorial Auditorium, sometimes a misconception for people to think a Squier prove to be even better. which has a considerably smaller seating capacity small crowd means low sales. Sometimes crowd si/c Supporting his new album, Signs of Some acts appearing in the Arena have drawn huge- is determined by the stage set up, he said Life, Squier will perform with the up- audiences—some have not. Cases in point: The Go- Another misconception many people have is that and-coming rock group Ratt on Go's concert in September of this year drew a sparse the Chattanooga market is primarily a country music reigns as Tuesday, Oct. 30 at H p.m. Signs of Life crowd of 2,100. The datlin Brothers concert, in crowd, said Ross is Squier's fourth Columbia-released October of this year, drew only 2,500 fans. Both acts "There are pockets of entertainment, which are album and it contains the hit single are considered big names, but they failed to pull in what we try to relate to," he explained. "There are "Rock Me Tonight." the big audiences here in Chattanooga. a lot of heavy metal people out there that listen to attendance A native Bostonian, Squier has been These figures might lead some people to ask—Are groups like Quiet Riot and Aerosmith. There is a in the rock'n'roll business since he was we in danger of losing some top performers because* country base, but they're not any stronger than the IH With the release of his second of a lack of ticket sales for some shows? But heavy metal audience album, Don't Say No, Squier gained according to David Ross, assistant director of the "The rock and roll fans are a big group," Ross king instant fame with "Stroke Me." Arena, we are in no jeopardy of losing acts. continued. "They seem to be the ones we get the Squier's third solo project, Emotions Ross said most promoters are not concerned with most out of." in Motion, gave him a new, more filling an arena. Their primary interest is if a city has As for the black audience, Ross explained that the versatile image. His concert should be a facility that is large enough to bring in crowds Arena tries to schedule at least four blacck groups a mixture of old and new—the golden "We have the Arena which is large* enough to a year to try to take care of their entertainment oldies and the upcoming hits. draw," Ross stated. "Promoters don't really look at needs. Tickets are on sale at the Arena Box the negative aspects." At this time, the Roundhouse is ahead of last year's Office and all Chatta-Tik outlets for Ross added that the Chattanooga area is concert schedule by a long shot S 11.50. So if you find yourself sitting considered a secondary market, as compared to "We're way over what we've done in the past six all alone on Tuesday night, just take primary market cities such as Los Angeles, Atlanta months and we're way ahead of what we did last Squier's advice—"Take me in your and Dallas. Although we do get some big names in fall," said Ross. "We're ahead of schedule and we're arms and rock me tonight." the Arena, some artists choose not to play in drawing events." secondary markets, he said The largest rock crowd was brought to the Arena by Billy Squier and he is returning Oct. 30.
i Join the Health Care Team as a i Special Halloween PHARMACIST Roundhouse Roundup Mercer's Southern School of Pharmacy offers Sale courses leading to the Doctor of Pharmacy (Pharm.D.) degree, the highest professional degree lopJ3teJLRo^k/jPop/S0Ai! Concerts Top Ten Overall Concert Attractions 10/8/82 11,562 < The University Bookstore will be Billy Squier 2/4/83 10,1:2 Kenny Rogers distributing CAMPUS TRIAL PAKS available in pharmacy. 3/12/83 Lionel Richie 1/2 3/84 10,010 Alabama (2 shows) 22,239 » free of charge to students on October • Four-year professional curriculum Elton John 10/5/84 9,613 Barry Manilow 11/18/82 10,519 31 and November 1. Each PAK will Van Halcn 11/7/82 9,583 Alabama 4/20/84 10,182 contain an assortment of the following • Wide range of career opportunities Billy Joel 2/1 1/84 9,406 Billy Squier 2/4/83 10,142 products: Listerine, Schick Disposable • Classes start each September and January Bob Seger 3/2/83 9,056 Lionel Richie 1/23/84 10,019 Razors, Noxema Medicated Shave Cream, a Jhirmack hair care product, Loverboy 9,728 • Financial aid information available 9/12/83 8,540 Kenny Rogers 11/6/83 Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine and Gap Band 11/3/83 8,419 • Elton John 10/5/84 9,613 Contac Cough Capsules. Special Diana Ross 2/25/83 8,103 VanHalen 11/7/82 9,583 offers from AT&T, Campus Find out more Styx 5/27/83 7,798 Billy Joel 2/11/84 9,406 Subscriptions and The Wall Street Journal are also included. Students will Write or call today be required to show their ID and present coupon (available at store) in Lowest 5 Overall Concert Attractions order to receive a Free PAK, Director or Admissions The Imperials "79/83 2,75"? Quantities are limited. Only one PAK B.B.King 9/4/83 2,553 per student will be distrubuted. MERCER UNIVERSITY Gatlin Bros /Janie Fri 2,500 SOUTHERN SCHOOL OF PHARMACY Rick James 83 2,4(>3 The Go-Go's 9/25/84 2,100 345 Boulevard, N.E. Atlanta, Georgia 30312 •capacity seating is considered anywhere from 6,000 to 12,000 depending upon stage Assorted Gift Books And Computer Software — 40 %!!! 404/659-3853 requirements. All UTC Imprinted Clothing — 20 % !!! AftAWMMMMMMMMM***^^ I review music
interesting. The whole album contains a good surrounded by an orchestra and a backing variety of songs, ranging from borderline strange choir—not rock guitars. The next and last cut The Fixx to fantastically freakish, including the bizarre (yes, this is a mini-LP) is possibly one of the best Phantoms * * Vi title track. rock-and-roll songs ever pressed onto vinyl. MCA All things considered, Phantoms is a good "Rockin' at Midnight'' gets the jitterbuggin' beat album, but it has not yet had the success that is in gear and the horns, piano and guitars set this necessary after their last release, Reach the song on fire. The song is long—six minutes, but lieach. Give it time, though. They created a there's never a dull moment. The steady, By Scott Chook Echo Eeatures Writer tough act to follow, and the public needs a little reserved drum beat (big band style, of course) Like it or not, the English group The Fixx is time to accept a group like The Fixx. leads the way for the horns, guitars and Plant. quickly becoming one of the groups of the HOs. Even the Beatles were not an immediate- Since there are no credits on the album, there's Although Phantoms has only been out a short success. Maybe The Fixx is just a little ahead of no way to know who the sax player is, but I'd time, it's already getting some airplay. The Fixx its time. like to shake his hand. He sizzles. What a song! is a relatively new band with a different but Like I said, this is an excellent album. And it's innovative sound that is just right according to one that everybody should own—young, old, the record buying public. The Honeydrippers white, black, Hispanic—everybody. Nowhere on Volume One * * * * Es Paranza
By Glen Wood Echo I eatures Writer Never in my life have I been more pleasantly surprised by an album. When I heard that Robert Plant. (Led Zeppelin, solo career), Jimmy Page (Yardbirds. led Zeppelin), and Jeff Beck (Yardbirds. solo career) were forming a band, I was anxious to hear what they'd do. I expected a rock-and-roll onslaught in the Led Zeppelin tradition, but what I got was completely different—but fantastic. A tribute to the big band sound. Seriously. Not knowing what to expect, I was floored when 1 first heard The Honeydrippers. Think about it. Here are the guys who gave us rock standards such as "Whole Lotta Love." If you like oldies, though. The Fixx is "Stairway to Heaven'' and "Black Dog" doing the work do the vocals or guitars test the definitely not for you. Some people call them songs such as Ray Charles' "I Got A Woman.'' eardrums, and it's hard not to feel happier and weird, some call them the* greatest—but But more surprising than the style of the music is more energetic after a trip through the five-song whatever your personal opinion, it's apparent how well it's done. The LP opens with "I Get a set. The Honeydrippers' Volume One is going to that The Fixx has quite a bit of talent. Thrill," a bluesy number that features Plant's have the doo-woppers and be-boppers dancing, The vocals are quite good and most of the vocals and an oldies bass fiddle and piano sound. the* partiers partying, and a lot of music lovers credit goes to the lead singer. Cy ( urnin. The Page and Beck both shine on guitar, too. I still being thoroughly entertained. lyrics, however, leave something to be desired. can't believe it's them doing it. Whatever category you fit into, you don't They lack what I call "meaning " But somehow Ihe next cut, "Sea of Love," is reminiscent of want to miss out on what could be the beginning that fact detracts little from the songs old Flv is love songs with its orchestra and of a musical revolution. Phantoms is a long album with nine cuts in backup choir. "I Got a Woman" follows all. rhe only song released as a single is "Are keeping the listener alert after the soothing "Sea We Ourselves' Ibis track has made a dent on of Love" by breaking into a jumpy, dancy excellent * * * * the pop charts and is still on the rise. "Facing rhythm complete with saxophone solos. good * * * the Wind" is one of my favorite cuts on the LP. Side Two opens with the emotional "Young fair * * It has a slightly slower tempo than most other Boy Blues. 1 never dreamed Plant could sing a songs on the album, and the bass lines are very love song this well! Once again, his vocal is poor *
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THE REST OT *- for ghouls anymore Wf COPYING Byjocelyn D. Anderson LVORLDWllLBl Echo Features Writer ::'+ Halloween was not always a time meant that was her true love. OFFERING THl just for goblins, witches and However, if the nuts separated, it ghosts... Years ago it was also a time for meant she would not be happy with if/MCESYOUCAH lovers. either one of her contenders. In Ireland, for example, a special "Sowing of hempseed was another dish called "colconnon was served to ritual used by those wanting to find GmoDMamm four people on the eve of Halloween. their true love. Ihe idea was to take The ingredients of this dish included a handful of the seeds, go out into a BECAUSE Of mashed potatoes, parsnips, chopped field on the eve ol Halloween and sow onions, a ring, a thimble, a doll and a the seeds while repeating this rhyme: coin—stirred well. Hempseed. I saw thee, It was then predicted that whoever Hempseed. I saw thee, got the ring was to marry within a and her that is to be my true FUTUfCL year, but the finder of the thimble love. would never marry. Whoever got the come after me* and draw thee doll would have children within the "If the sower had the courage* to year, and the lucky one to get the coin look over his shoulder, he would see would be wealthv the apparition of his true love- For young women having a difficult following him and reaping hemp. time deciding which one of her many So who says you have to wait until marriage proposals to accept—many Valentine's Day to make a go of your women nowadays would love to have love life! Just cook an Irish pot of this problem—there was also a ritual. "colconnon. or put some nuts on hot She would place three nuts in the coals. If you re real brave, get some coals, naming one for herself and An hempseed, go into a dark, dreary fild other two for her admirers. If one of on the eve of Halloween...and see the nuts burned quietly beside hers, it what will appear. Copies beyond belief from copiers that give you lines, solids, half-tones in perfect reproduction 1 for great looking flyers, newsletters, brochures and reports. Fantastic speed, and incredible service at a price from the past...Only at Kinko's
"2010" MOVIE POSTER FREE. JUST FOR 500 Palmetto 266-7444 VISITING KINKO'S. HURRY! BECAUSE SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED, WE CAN OFFER ONLY SPECIALS ONE POSTER PER CUSTOMER. I MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Specials Throughout The Game. TUESDAY NIGHT Offer Begins On Election Day, Nov. 6 Ladies Night — 2 for 1 Scrappy Hour — 1 Hr. Before Billy Squier Concert WEDNESDAY NIGHT Halloween Night Costume Party 1st Place-$50 and one case of Bud Light kinko's copies 2nd Place-Two cases of Bud Light 3rd Place-One case of Bud Light Free Mugs And Posters THURSDAY NIGHT Scrappy Hour — 9 pm to 2 am 326 McCallie across FRIDAY NIGHT Scrappy Finest Day Scrappy Hour from Memorial Auditorium 11 am - (5:30 pm SATURDAY NIGHT One Free Draft With Student 111, 6-9 pm 265-6309 •* m U.T.C. Library 14 The Echo/October 26, 1984 English Afternoons" Not a new idea By Tamrni-Louise Pappas Echo Features w titer The revival of the "English afternoon, then you certainly missed Afternoon" was a great success— your chance. greater, in fact, than anyone had This move to revive interest in the expected. Ihe front' room of the English department was the brain child Newman Center on Palmetto St. was of Dr. Iron Mike Richards, together packed from side to side with English with his committee. students and professors. If yon had "The 'English Afternoon' is not a - wanted to catch one of those elusive new idea.' said Richards. UTC had professors but weren't there Friday sponsored "English Afternoons'' in the past, but the custom had died down. As students snacked on wine and cheese at this first revival production, they were entertained with a professor production of a portion of Shakespeare's 'Henry IV." Dr. John Tinkler starred as lalstafl. with Nancy Kinsey's "Chrysalis" is now on display in the corridor of the Richards as Prince Hal and Dr. Robert Fine Arts Center tor a short time. l-ulton as Poins. Together they Kinsey researched her installation performed (highly informally) the three months before she developed barroom scene of Act 2. Scene 4. one the concept for this political of Shakespeare s greatest comic scenes. statement. "We must accept responsibility for educating The next "English Afternoon will ourselves, learn to question the be held in late November. This system and, like the Chrysalis, upcoming afternoon will be in the break free to pursue our full form of a literary trivia qui/., with a potential in any field of endeavor," is how Kinsey explains it. professor and several students on each team—like a college howl. So if you still can't find that English professor, just plan to attend the next Photos by Shelly Kirchner/The Echo Dr. Tinkler put his heart into the part. "English Afternoon.''
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AND THAT'S THE TRUTH. $16.95 Available at: Lovell Field 892-4700 Echo Sports October 26, 1984/The Echo 15 Mocs shell VMI, 35-0 By Cheryl Snyder Echo Sports Writer The Mocs broke their two-game losing streak Saturday, Oct. 20, with a win over Southern Conference rival, Virginia Military Institute in Lexington. Va. Along with the $5*0 victory, the UTC football team broke and tied two different all-time school records and upgraded the statistics for the season. The first shutout of the season was not a miracle, nor was it pure luck. It was a result of "doubles,'' a new variation of the Moc power! offense that Marvin Ford picks up a few of the Mocs' 200 rushing yards the pass and run formations were identical. This receivers twice more before the quarter ended VMI o o o-o SC Standings allowed for several quick pitches to backs Kdwards Keydet QB Daly played out the entire second UTC 14 0 14—35 UTC—Barner 41 pass from Couch SCHOOL CONF ALL and Streeter. quarter after replacing Comer halfway into the first (14:04, 1st) (Giem kick) 1.UTC 3-1-0 4-3-0 "It was successful,'' commented head coach Nix. quarter. They switched again in the third after Moc UTC—Barner 4 pass from Couch 2 The Citadel 2-1-0 4-3-0 (8:15, 1st) (Giem kick) 3 Furman 2-2-0 5-2-0 "Everybody blocked who they were supposed to. Glenn Richardson made the fifth interception ot the UTC—Edwards 23 pass from Couch 3. Western Carolina. 2-2-0 5-2-0 (6:30, 3rd) (Giem kick) 3. East Tennessee 2-2-0 4-3-0 On the double set, all it does is make their team day. UTC-Streeter 14 run (13:21, 4th) 6. Appalachian St. 2-3-0 3-5-0 Shortly thereafter, Couch made a screen pass to (Giem kick) 7. Marshall 1-2-0 4-3-0 balance up. We executed better." UTC-Streeter 9 run (7:51, 4thXGiem 8. VMI 1-2-0 1-5-0 The defensive Mocs more than matched the* Edwards for the third touchdown of the game. This kick) 9. Davidson 0-4-0 0-7-0 was the first time this season that the offense has UTC VMI precision of the offense by making five interceptions Flnt Oowm-ToUl 23 16 SATURDAYS RESULTS scored in the third quarter. Rushing 11 8 and holding the Keydets to 11-4 yards. By picking Patting 11 7 Appalachian State 21, Furman 14 The gap only widened as Streeter surged through Penalty 1 1 The Citadel 28, Marshall 17 off five of VMI's passes, the '8-4 Mocs tied the record P,u«hlnfl-N«t Yd» ITS 114 Bucknell 30, Davidson 3 the Keydet defense for a 1-4-yard TD within the first Attempts 46 38 East Carolina 24, ETSU 6 of total interceptions in one game set in 1978 against Avg. per ruth 3.8 2.9 UTC 35, VMI 0 Tennessee State. three minutes of the fourth quarter. PMtlng-Net Ydt 210 126 Western Carolina 31, Wofford 0 Attempt! 26 31 "Skeeter" Streeter scored the final touchdown for Completions IB 14 Junior defensive back David McCrary passed the Had Intercepted 0 S THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE individual career record for the most punt return the Mocs six minutes later by scampering for nine Total Otlentlve Play* 72 70 The Citadel at Appalachian St. Total Net Yd* 38S 240 yards after receiving a flip from Couch. Average gain 5 3 3 4 Wofford at Davidson yardage. With 800 yards in less than three years, Fumbtet-No.-Loet 1-1 1-1 ETSU at James Madison PenattUt-No.-Ydt 6-51 2-20 Western Carolina at Furman McCrary broke by two yards the standard set in In the last seven minutes of the game the UTC Interceptions—No -Yda 5-53 0-0 UTC at Marshall defense, with mainly second stringers playing, the Possession time 30:40 29:20 VMI at Richmond 1965-67 by Joe Lee Dunn, now head coach at the University of New Mexico Keydets best scoring opportunity. Given possession employs only one traditional running hack, with The Mocs broke the Keydets early in the game. on their 20, VMI worked their way down the field both tailback Artis Kdwards and Z-back Daryl They scored moments after the opening kickoff after with a series of 13 to 16-yard passes. Yet all their Streeter split wide VMI lost possession of the ball on the second play hard work came to nought after they reached the What is most surprising about the success of the of the game when UTC's Phil Aldridge picked off QB UTC six-yard line. On a Iburth-and goal. Comer new offensive formation is that it is pass oriented. Al Comer's pass. threw the ball away as a result of defensive- The VMI defense had been giving up an average The Mocs covered 4l yards and scored a I'D on penetration from Moc freshman Horatio l.ee of 250 yards on the ground while keeping opponents their first play when Couch completed a pass to Alan "I don't think it was one of our better defensive to an average of 128 yards in the air. Barner days," said Nix. "We relaxed a little after we got Starting QB Tim Couch completed IH of his 2(> The Keydets were allowed two more plays he-lore ahead 14 points We let them move the ball a little pass attempts, making three good for touchdowns. left cornerback Kenny Booker reclaimed the hall for too well which is not characteristic of OUT defense The three IDs set a standard, for the year since the I 'TC. After eleven plays, the Mocs crossed the goal Because of their fine performances last week Mocs previously had only one I'D by the pass for the line for the second time, leading I 4-0 with only 8: IS against VMI, Couch and Booker were nominated as entire season left in the first quarter. offensive and defensive Southern Conference The advantage to the doubles outline was that Booder snatched the ball away from the VMI players-ol-the-week MU seeks to throw Mocs off course By Amy Richter Echo Asst Sports Editor Two good things happened to the UTC football weekend's game at home against Appalachian State, offense is right tor the Mocs Quarterback Tim Couch team last weekend: they would be assured of at least a tie for the threw lor over 200 yards lor the first time this year I) They defeated VMI, $5-0, with their best conference title and had no interceptions He will start against offensive show ing of the season. Thai is all just supposing, though lirst. the Mocs Marshall 1) Furman was defeated by Appalachian state, must lace the powerful passing attack of Marshall and seven Moc running hacks combined for P5 net 21-14, leaving the Mocs once again in the position quarterback Carl Fodor. yards on the ground and senior wide receiver Alan to win the southern Conference Championship with The Mocs are pleased with last w eck's effort from Barner caught five passes tor H~ yards and two a 3-1 record and just two more conference games a new offensive formation, one that disguises the run I'D s—bv far his best game of the year to plaj and pass, called the "doubles It is a one-hack Marshall's Fodor has thrown for 1.956 on I to The first ol those two games takes place this double slot formation in which the Mocs can use the completions out of 208 passes. t$6 ol those v artis weekend when the Mocs travel to Huntington \\ same plav s and blocking assignments thev hav e used coming against Furman earlier in the season He has Va, to plav the Marshall Thundering Herd at $:$0 all season. The formation simplv makes the defense also thrown lor 18 touchdowns and II p.m.. Saturday, Oct. r line tip differenth Should the Mocs win Saturday's game and next 11 last week's game is anv indication this new See preview p. 18 16 The Echo/October 26, 1984 Spoilers still the intramural team to beat
By Sally Jane Wade Echo Sports Writer If the winning of an intramural Harmon's lifetime must be short, Names, The Projects (Stadium) and championship t-shirt made one rich, though, for this past Thursday, Nov. Who Dats. then Joe Harmon would be the richest 18 the Spoilers were DEFEATED. The Greek Division has a heated man alive. Last year alone he won nine Credit goes to the UTC Faculty Staff race between Kappa Sigma, Omega Psi shirts. This year he and Shane Benedict softball team. The final score was UTC Phi and Kappa Alpha Psi. are going for the record of most shirts Faculty Staff 11, Spoilers 7. Another event still in play is 3-on-3 won by a twosome. At this point In reply to Harmon's talk of Basketball. Delta, the defending Harmon has three shirts and soon dynasties, team manager Robert champion, is still in the running and plans to work on a fourth. Dennis replied, "Faculty Staff 11, feeling confident. The No Doubts won $-on-3 outdoor Spoilers 7." Entries for fable Tennis are due on volleyball. Team members were This past Friday and Saturday an Wednesday, Nov. 7'. Play begins on Harmon. Benedict and Mark Crowder. Intramural All-Nighter took place. Tuesday, Nov. 13 at » p.m. in the I K "We just tore them up," said a Tournaments were conducted in seven game room on the second floor of the modest Harmon. "We just areas of play. It Ain't No Thangs took University Center. dominated.'' the championship Harmon was on the An intramurals managers meeting is The Spoilers have completely winning team and he said, "It ain't no scheduled for Thursday, Nov. 15 at t dominated intramural softball for thang, we entered and we won." p.m. in Room 20"' of Maclellan Gym. several years. For the third year and In Doubles Horseshoes. Sid Scwcll This meeting is not for managers only, about the seventh softball tournament, and Creed Brown were championship but for anyone interested in the Spoilers have once again been shirt winners. intramurals claimed to be the best. The Flag Football tournament is still The Novice Racquetball "The tradition lives on," said team in play, and this week's Intramural Tournament begins on Friday, Nov. member Benedict. Playcr-of-the-Week is Ted Kcssler. 16. Entries are due on Nov. 7. Anyone "The Spoilers are like the Roman In the girl's division, Vanity, Chi who has never participated in a Empire," added Harmon, another Omega and Alpha Delta PI are all going racquetball tournament before is Spoiler "It's like some great dynasty. strong. eligible to enter. We're gonna reign for a couple of In the race for the Independent Blue- Pre-season Basketball (double hundred years I figure. Somebody w ill Division, The Bad Aces and -4th Street elimination) entries are due by- come along and they'll dethrone us, I Blues are holding their own. Tuesday, Nov. 20 Scheduled play hut I can't see that happening in my u In the Gold Division, it's a four-way begins Wednesday, Nov. 28. Flag football tops intramural action. lifetime.'' fight between Anything Goes, No
Coming Next Week Tuesday thru Saturday Appearing This Weekend Oct. 30 - Nov. j Tonight & Sat. Oct. 26-27 uiomrm UOTQQIuS Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Halloween Bash Introducing St. Pauli Girl Olympia Beer Nite Best Costume Prizes Awarded SI. 25 Second To None & Specially Priced Spirits 2 for I With KZI06 Gold Card October 26, 1984/The Echo 17 Mudders splash Arena
Watch before your very eyes as the mild-mannered truck at left turns into a nasty Monster Truck a.k.a. Bearfoot at bottom right. Bearfoot was one of the main attractions at the Motor Spectacular held Oct. 20-21 at the Arena. The main event was Hot Rod Mud Racing (top right).
o O 111 «
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IMMMWMMIMMIMMMt^^ 18 The Echo/October 26, 1984
PREVIEW Sports Shorts Echo Staff Report cont. from p. 15 Mocs. followed hy Hill lowers, Joey interceptions. Alter throwing three White has golden Hughes and Mark Ross. Ruggers drop two interceptions against the Citadel and knowing the Mocs stole five from VMI, opportunity with Fodor might he more conservative Spikers overpower The Chattanooga Rugby club lost two Denver Nuggets games Saturday to MTSU, 15-8 and through the air than usual. Tight end Lady Paladins Tim Lewis is his favorite receiver. 8-7, at the Jaycee fairgrounds. Former UTC basketball star Willie Chattanooga took an early lead in If the Herd passing game breaks The UTC Women's volleyball team, White has survived the final cut with the first game on tries by UTC students down, however, they do not have a in a dramatic comeback, beat Furman the NBA's Denver Nuggets Marcus Williamson and Crcg Hardin strong running game to rely on. at Maclellan Gym Tuesday night I5-10, White, the Nuggets number one but Mi'SU rallied in the second half for averaging just over 67 yards per game. S-1S. 14-16. 15-10, 15-12. draft choice this year, signed a one- the win. Leading rusher, Robert Surratt. has UTC head coach Tony Jadin praised year contract for between 574,000 and Chattanooga, 1-5, will play in the gained twice as much yardage through the play of Michelle Bostic, Stephanie- SH0.000, Nuggets coach Doug Moc Mid-South Union tournament at the air than he has on the ground and Lewis and Myra Bullhcau in the credited White's changed attitude on Nashville Oct. 27-28. the Herds total rushing output is less victory. Ihe girls next match is on the defense as the deciding factor in than a third of their passing output road Friday night against Western The Thundering Herd comes up a making the team. The Echo takes Carolina. The next home match is Runners pass little short on defense. This season's pleasure in speaking for the student Monday against Tennessee Temple. unit allows 5-H total yards per body to wish good luck to Willie Bryan and Covenant game—IS"7 rushing and IH"' passing. White. The Herd pass rush is extremely SocMocs face The UTC cross country team easily weak and its leading tackier is Golfers end outdistanced area rivals Bryan College cornerback (.article! Lewis hefty schedule and Covenant College in a three-way The next two weeks are the most fall slate The UTC Soccer Mocs face a busy meet held Thursday, Oct. 18 at the important ones of the season for head I he I ITC golf team w rapped up their schedule for the next week heginning Chattanooga Baylor School course coach Buddy Nix and his team. A berth fall season with a disappointing 2 ith with tonight's home contest against The Mocs three top finishers. Tim to the playoffs is no longer just a place finish in the Duke Invitational in Western Carolina at 7:30 p.m. on the l-lnsign. Tom O'Bryant and Leslie Wells thought, it is a very real possibility. Durham. N.C. on Oct. IS-20. intramural field. crossed the finish line hand-in-hand for The last time the Mocs were in a Ihe l.inksters tallied aggregate- The Mocs travel to Knoxville on top honors in a time of 26:22 lor the position to put a hand on the scores of Al", Al" and 316 over the Oct. 29 to play the UT Volunteers five-mile run. Moc dreg McDaniel conference trophy, they were turned three-day 5»-hole tourney. before returning home on Friday, Nov. finished fifth while Adam Yarman away by l-TM . Do not look for that to Mickey Smith finished his UTC 2. to face Vanderbilt at 7:30 p.m. came in eighth. happen again, though Those playoff golfing career by taking top honors for The Mocs' last game of the season is The harriers next challenge is the possibilities are too real lor the Mocs the Mocs with averages in the "Dv at home against Tennessee Wcsleyan Southern Conference championships to let dow n now leff Lanier finished in second for the on Nov. 5. on Nov. 3 at Lexington. Va. LADIES & GENTLEMEN, SEVRTYOUR TURTLES! Announcing the Coors Light Turtle Race. Here's your chance to chaUenge"SilverBullef! COMING TO YOUR CAMPUS SOON!
Nov. 14 Fantasy 2000
i •aajaomeocooCo Ooum COOMOKMOI Presents WILLIAM PETER BLATTYS THE EXORCIST D^ctedb^WILLIAMFRIEDKIN
ELLEN BURSTYNMAXVON SYDCWLEEJ.COBB OTWN'JACKMacCMAN JASON MILLER*^ UNCA BLAIR.B^-p^ccdb.WILLIAM PETER BLATTY Wednesday October 31 — Chatt. Rooms 8:15 PM $1.50-students $2.50-other r
Doc thanks Steve Bartkowski and the Falcons for losing to the Rams on Monday night and running the "Monday Night Magic" record to 6-2. s • Doc stays steady I ^fel By Dr. Punuloiu Echo Sagacious Seer 3617 Brainerd Rd. Doctor Puntalotta laments his 3*3-1 Puntalotta says that 5V4 is too many, record for last week, running his though, so take the Vols and the Next Wednesday Oct. 31 season total to 20*20-3. Here in mid- points. season, Puntalotta sees opportunities This week in the NIL, the* Doc sees Halloween Party to move into the win column for good. two games that should really be A shootouts. Sunday the LA. Raiders arc- Costume Contest Clemson. ranked 20th by USA & Today, travels to Raleigh, N.C.. to play on the road to play the Denver 1st Prize - $250 the North Carolina State Wolfpack Broncos, behind the superb play of 2nd Prize - $125 Ihe public likes Clemson, but N.C. St. John PI way, have surprised almost 3rd Prize - $50 is 10-1 vs. Clemson and the points. everyone. Ihe Raiders' only loss is to lake the Wolfpack and 14. the Broncos, and the public looks for Virginia I cell will be in Philadelphia a revenge win by the Raiders Maybe Open Wed. & Thurs. : this weekend to play the Temple Owls. so, but the Broncos are 6-2 vs. the Tues. Nite . spread and 6VS points is too many. A Experts agree that game should be- 5* Coors 2-in-l close, but the points spread has moved lake the Broncos and 6Vi in the No Cover 3-in-l from even to 3'/J because the public rivalry. likes Tech Temple has won every "Monday Night Magic,' where game this year against the spread and Puntalotta is 6-2 for the season, will Sunday Nite we see no change this week see the surprising, Seattle Seahawks lake the Owls and Jft. playing the Chargers in San Diego. The KZ 106 Video Night Ihe Tennessee Vob, riding high Chargers have suffered a number of alter their usual (of late) defeat of heartbreaking injuries, but Dan Fouts 25* Coors 2 For 1 Alabama playsdcorgia lech in Atlanta, is not one of them. The Chargers arc lech has been tough this year, but in s'I at home on Monday Night against Discount With Gold Card the past are only 4-14 vs. the points the spread. We like the trend. Take OPEN 8:;iU PM — 2:30 AM and SEC teams at home. louts and the Chargers minus one. The UTC \\ Tt & Student Government Association °*ii -to* & Presents The Great
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Costume Dance > U- / Friday October 26 From 8 pm To 11 pm y>^ Tennessee Room f° —University Center— *&
Refreshments cS Provided ^
»000 OOQCH f IS Kappa Sigma's
Halloween 1 Sat. Oct. 27—Kappa Sigma House, 927 Vine St. 9 am-6 pm Fri. Oct 26—Chattanooga Room, Student Cntr. 9 am-2 pm
The Prices Are So Low They're SCAREY!
Me1"' • Foot Joy golf shoes reg. $83—now $49.80 Maxfli Jacobs System golf clubs reg. $437—now 260 Izoci belts reg. $8.25—now $6 Hogan bags reg. $119—now $70 Hot-Z golf bags reg. $87.50—now $52.50 PGA carry luggage reg. $63—now $35 Hogan 392 golf balls reg. $25 doz—now $15.25 Allstar golf gloves reg. $6.25-$7—now $2 Men's Izod slacks reg. $31-$44—now $15.75-$17.95 MacGregor MT woods (1-3-4-5)—$150 Men's Aureus sweaters reg. $39.50—now $19.95 Men's Hogan slacks reg. $49—now $24.50 MacGregor MT irons (2-SW)—$200 Izod rider jackets reg. $27—now $13.50 Izod reversible coats reg. $47—now $23.50 Izod sweaters reg. $31—now $12.95 Izod slacks for women reg. $38—now $19 t Ladies' warmups reg. $86 to $120—now $43 to $60 tt
Let This Halloween Be All Treats it And No Tricks! r A Disturbed, Confused And Twisted View Of News Events The M0C& Papers I Sometime~..~, s Known As The MOQH Newsmonge- r ^^ Volume 1/Issue 1 The University of Chattanooga at Tennessee October 26, 1 Thinly threaded friendship
By Lizzie Borden Mock Necking Champ In a move designed to foster lasting girl in line. friendship, the 20 pledges of Pi Omega "If we all stick together, I'm sure we can sorority sewed their hands together this manage," responded pledge No. 9, Jo week. Culvert. "We like each other better than The girls plan to remain bonded until classes anyway." their initiation this spring. Betty Crocker, Dean of Cheerleaders "This proves once and for all that girls and Sororities, indicated she may soon do not join Pi Omega just because they put an end to the experiment. want to be popular," explained Pi 0 "I think these girls have gone too far," pledge chairman Tina Sue Perficial. said Crocker. "I'm almost sure this goes "Being a member of Pi O is the greatest against Tennessee's hazing code. I'm also honor in the world, next to being afraid the other sororities will feel they President of the U.S., of course, or have to match Pi 0. What will they do maybe winning a Nobel Prize or maybe next? Nail their heads to the chapter being elected Homecoming Queen or house?" Queen of the Cotton Ball or Miss America Chi Delta president Neesie Gartenhose or.. announced she will not let her pledges The stitchwork raises some serious follow Pi O's lead. problems for the girls, such as "Certainly not," answered Gartenhose. coordinating their class schedules and "Our girls are more sensible than that. Thanksgiving and Christmas vacations. We'll stick to scavenger hunts for Moc "Oh, Freak me out! I never thought of jock straps and stuff like that." HHMM that," squealed Lori Finkel, the fourteenth Pi Omega pledges scurry to their next class. Parking in rear will cost you
By Snot Dlmaggio Mock Meter Maid In spite of a decrease in student enrollment this fall, UTC's parking problems continue to escalate. Every afternoon the parking lots are highlighted by yellow tickets flopping in the wind. Officials are bewildered as to the cause or cure for the parking problem. Many claim an organized gang of students are driving two or more cars each. Others say some affluent residents in the immediate area are using UTC as overflow parking for their older Cadillacs. Another theory is that wealthy Arabs are using crafty "blow-up cars" which they pay to have inflated daily. UTC has, however, taken steps to try to improve the situation. In one effort to discourage crowded parking conditions in "The Pits" (one of the dust/mud/gravel areas located across the campus) large trenches have been strategically placed to discourage traffic, hence An alert Mock photographer caught the elusive parking czar Willy Bolero, who refused to be photographed, watching competition for spaces. And, for those willing and able a shipment of alleged parking stickers arrive in the Florida Keys from Trinidad. /•«, to pay the price, additional metered spaces are now mentioned yellow tickets at the current rate, the school 1 was fortunate to catch UTC Parking Czar Willy available (spaces previously allotted for general parking). will soon either A) have enough money to buy the rest Bolero between-vacations for an interview As I was Perhaps the strongest tactic yet is financial of downtown Chattanooga for UTC parking or B) break depravation. Authorities estimate by using the afore- enough students that fewer will be able to afford to drive. See Bolero p. 6 2 The Mock Papers/October 26, 1984 LMMMNMMIM* Pooting practice begins pronto
By Karen Fu-Young Mock Silent But Deadly Reporter Believe it or not UTC's own Flatulation purchase of new uniforms. "We're going Choir is still pooting along. After a finish to be practical this year," Kolling claimed. that really stank in last year's competition "We want something in a yellow-brown for the golden gluteus maximus award, color and something durable, after all this years team is willing to work much these things have to be washed quite harder. often." The jackets will feature the logo "I'm living for the Flatulation Choir," "Hershey Squirts." said second year captain Kathy Kolling, The choir is planning a Poop Rally in "I'm practicing all the time." Her favorite early Dec. to raise money for the place to practice is the third floor of the uniforms. No admission fee will be
I'm living for the 3^J.4AP^U Flatulation Choir T^I^JJt-JJJL —Kathy Kolling
UTC library. "Sometimes people come charged, instead the group is going to sell up and tell me they know I'm practicing," things to people once they get inside. quipped Kolling, "and sometimes they Nose plugs, air fresheners and beans are ask me to leave." expected to be the big money items. "We just fell apart in the tournament The choir is interested in new members last year." Kolling recalled. "Half the team and previous experience is not necessary. ate too much fruit and had diarrhea so "We are really hurting for someone who bad they couldn't compete. The other half can hit the high notes and hopefully hold just couldn't relax and points were them for at least two minutes," said deducted since the pitch was too high." Kolling. Anyone interested should look or In the future the choir has big plans in sniff for Kolling on the third floor of the the runs. The group intends to finance the library. After really stinking last year, flatulation capt. Kathy Kolling thinks her team is in the running this year.
.*LM.*t,*b*t,mt,M.*<.M.M. S* New heads appointed ft* Students Against PI In a series of stunning hirings and firings, two hours after revealing that controversial the UTC administration has added several pop-art figure Andy Warhol would take 8 new members to its campus braintrust. the helm of the Art Department. Glass Houses The honorable Judge Joseph A. The Warhol announcement was ft* ft* Wapner has been appointed head of the preceded by the news that famed ft* 1st annual rock throwing party Criminal Justice Department. His side oddsmaker Jimmy "The Greek" ft* kick, Rusty the Bailiff, will now serve as Schnieder will soon take over as Dean of ft* head of campus security. Fraternities. ft* Chancellor Frederick 0. Bare made the All positions are effective Oct. 31. ft* announcement Wednesday, Oct. 17, just ft* M ft* 64 PI B PREGNANT?!? ft* ft* ft* ft* Who cares... ft* ft* ft* —We don't ft* ft* ft* PI We are the Mock | beside Grote Hall 12-2 am Medical Center. M Bring Your Own Brick! So don'f call us. October 26, 1984/The Mock Papers 3 Opinion Mocked Like Wow—A Real COOL Editorial!!!
Hey guys! I'm pretty embarrassed to admit Let's see what was I writing about...oh yes the sand out of my swimming suit. During the it, but after only eight issues I've run out of myself, what a great topic. Isn't it maddening winter I don't like quite as much excitement (it important topics to write editorials about. when people don't stick to the topic. Did you would be hard on my heart) so I like to go to Imagine that, five more issues and I've got even know the next leap year isn't until 1988? Isn't local hole-in-the-wall bars and dance on the less to say than I usually put in my stories. Oh, that neat! tables with myself until I get thrown out. I also but don't worry because I've got a great idea— I know it's sort of off the subject, but this is like to over-use certain unprintable words and I'll tell you about myself. One section of my life really the first time I've ever done this, I think. phrases. Cool isn't it. for the rest of the semester. Cool huh? I know I just want all you cuties to understand that you Well that's about all for this week. I know you I'm excited. can come by and visit me at the office anytime. just can't wait until next week. I'm so sure. This I'll bet many of you out there think it's easy I'm never too busy for you, in fact I can never is the first time in years that everyone didn't to write one of these things every week. Heck, find anything to do. Ooh Baby, I'd just love to leave when I started talking about myself. I don't even make it to my classes every week honey-drip (I cannot believe I just wrote Wrong again! Well I'm outta here. and there I'm not forced to think. Luckily that.).. .1 mean talk to you all. Some things are though, I'm firm in my opinions so it's easy for more important in life than this silly old paper me to not contradict myself, well usually I don't, anyway. but sometimes I do, although I wouldn't say Well back to myself again, after all that is why always, still people tell me so, but I've never you are reading this. I spent my summer in felt that way, except maybe.... Florida where my favorite pastime was picking Opinion—Who Cares?
While UTC and most other colleges graduate people Is Glen Real? to go into the work world and look for a job, some Dear Editor, colleges are starting programs for entrepreneurs (people The Mock Papers As I walked out of one of my classes today, I saw a who want to start their own business). Think about it. sign that advertised a speech entitled "What is a Person?" It's time we had less idealogical dreaming and more solid, Immediately several characteristics of a human being applicable training in colleges. Smelbert Trucker Editor came to mind, but my main thought was who was going Listen to me complain. I almost sound like a lot of to attend a speech with such a title. Visions of bearded college professors. The Busy Snooper and Co. intellectuals complete with pipes and John Lennon Sincerely, Ft. Apache, The Bronx glasses living in their own little dream world came to Ira Glen Woodpecker mind. I have no idea who attended the speech, but I Business Monger Forkit Over just did not think I would have fit in. My loss I guess. Deep Thoughts by Booze Editor Ralph Buick I do not know what it is about colleges (especially Creatures Editor Brezhnev Brows Shorts Editor OP. LaCoste intellectual hotbeds such as UTC) that bring the weird a Shallow Man Chef Sureshot Smelly Kirchblob people out. Last year I saw an ad for a speech entitled Produce Manager Mit Gnuoy "Is the Universe Real?" At the bottom of the sign it was Dear Sir/?: Strike Breaker Karen Fu-Young mentioned that coffee and donuts would be served. I I've always wanted to ask a famous person if they have started to go to the speech and ask the speaker if the The opinions expressed in THE MOCK NEWSMONGER are ever heard of me, and then see if they wanted an coffee and donuts were real. expressly worthless and do not necessarily reflect the opinions autograph. of the The Cotton Patch where most of the personnel of The I sometimes wonder about UTC. For years there has I think abortion should be abolished; we should just University of Tennessee at Chattanooga may be found during been a traffic problem on Vine St. and parking problems regular business hours. The publication is a spurious newspaper kill the little cuties after they are born... everywhere, but practically nothing has been done about published bi annually or jus; whenever the heck we feel like it I wonder if a rose by any other name would smell as it. A person was hit by a car on Vine St. and it's only with the exception of holidays or the editor's yearly bathing days sweet THE MOCK shuns letters to the editor because we really don't a matter of time before someone is killed, but remember I wonder why scientists study the flatulation qualities care what you think, but all letter writers must pay in advance it's mora fun ,iti(l prestigious to build new stadiums in beans I guess it is because of the space program. Anonymous letters such as the one we received today, that we and arenas than to solve basic problems. After a good all know is really from Ken Coppertone. will be published I wonder if the people in "The People's Court" are day of rain, only vehicles with four wheel drive can drive anyway By the way Ken. it was the Night Haven not Sugar's real or if they are just poor actors in the main general parking lot. Why don't they pave Key Club, and it was fifteeen Brazilian hat dancers not eight I wonder if you can be all you can be or if that is just Polish pornographic polka dancers See vou there next week it? That question was asked of an administrator last year Ken. and thanks for the letter anyway Expressions of your and he said. "It's a future building site." Case closed. a faddy saying I wonder if David Letterman will ever be shown on opinions are always far more words than we care to print And what about the classroom? Constantly we hear We reserve the right to add libelous statements or completely TV in Chattanooga our form of government criticized in the classroom. ficticious trash about your mother Letters will be made fun of I wonder if the U.S. could make up a group of people Personally. I feel that if a poll were taken that well above as no grammatical corrections will be made Letters to the editor and make the price of wheat triple and then the Arabs should be received no later than 3 a.m. at my booth at The ninety five percent of the students would favor out and the rest of the world would be after us for our whe.it Gay Hawk Tavern on ML King. government to any other and also admit that they were and we would all be rich instead of the oil producing Sick of hearing the subject brought up m class Anyway. Muse. Creatures. Shorts. Slander and countries... America's critics would criticize whatever form ot Glossy Hx 10 photos oj yourself in government we had — no matter what it is. Sincerely. '-(promising positions for /"ideerfisiriij 265-NEWZ DP 4 The Mock Papers/October 26, 1984 •J **ai**mu iiiinmn m m* m$mm mmswmmmm Braves swinging for First Lady )y Mick Readme, please dock Rumormonger In a bold move designed to boost the sagging morale md television ratings of America's Team, baseball nagnate Ted Turnoff announced Thursday that First /ATLANTA BftA LL*.» M .a» • - .t^! 1.1^ M..»h. ••>» = t .^ t r at» I < ..»> 11..» M .1^ I f .a^ I. ^ (/I C H' ^->i c!_J> •SP* % Get your M.D. the GT way! No late nights, no yucky cadavers For more information ivrite: Grenada Tech Name 109 Maurice Bishop Avenue Address San Pinto. Grenada 7554HOH Lab Coat Size Ask ahonf our Dental Degrees and Nuclear Engineering Programs, too! Mock Dart Board If you would like to post a notice in the Mock Dart Board, go to Holt 546, knock twice lightly / followed by two pinkie scratches, and yell three times in a Ukrainian accent, "I am gay!" The film documentary Mating Rituals of The The Ad Hoc Committee will hold a creative European Chemists will be shown Oct. 29 at 7 discussion concerning the strike-back capability p.m. in Grote 129. Admission is $1 with test tube, of the Vulcan Empire on Oct 31 at the usual time Students interested in applying for a Barnes free with any beaker or book of Litmus paper and place Gawkers are welcome and Rhodes Scholarship should see Big Al Lubejob at the 3rd. St. Mr. Transmission before JIIUISBO—s66e V the winter season sets in and all those am >ieejq I.UOQ papuei seu, 3|6e3 am.—uiii ^a' transmissions start going kerplunk. An orgy will be held on the second floor of the Coming Soon: Only his hairdresser knows for Stadium Dorms on Nov. 4 at 12:30 a.m. For those sure—Roots III starring Don King as Bubba the not able to attend, videotaped copies of the event Hairdresser and Boy George as the seductress will be available in the Bursar's Office on Nov. Open Auditions for University Backstage in the red dress 10. Please enter through the back door and ask Theatre Production: Tryouts for "Barretta: The Thumbs up!—Ebert and Siskel for Wicked Wanda. Continuing Saga of Robert Blake" by Aaron Brilliant! Don King is a cinch Spelling will be held on Oct. 29 in the game room to grab an Oscar!—Glenn Wood of the University Center. Trashy! I love it!—Gene Shalit The Foreign Students Association is sponsoring a guest lecture by Billy Carter Don t bother reading this because it doesn't say entitled, "The Iran-Iraq War, who gives a dang" anything, putz. in the Chattooga Room of the University Center To hear a free Pollack Joke of the Day, dial on Friday, Nov. 21 at 1:30 a.m. Free Billy Beer toll-free 1-800-243-POL2. and Petrol Burgers. AMY! WAIT! See ya 6 The Mock Papers/October 26. 1984 m • m i m What to do with a trashed stadium? By Roy Hexum Mock Undercover! Reporter With a proposed plan to build a grand and glorious new football facility for our very own fighting Moccasins, one may ask himself in bepuzzlement — what the heck is gonna' happen to good 'ol Chamberlain Field? Well, being a sneaky little roving reporter, I happened to follow a few leads and pick up on some of the administration's scuttlebutt on the fate of our old and beloved gridiron. The following is a list of potential uses: •The Gordif Davenport Horseracing Facility After betting on horseracing becomes legal for raising funds for the campus budget, Chamberlain Field could be used as a prime source of income for UTC. Perhaps a complex that would someday equal Churchill Downs, it will contain Krystal hamburger stands at four convenient locations. •The UTC Greek Games Pit Fraternity gladiators could do battle to determine What does fate have in store superiority amongst themselves. Relax. They won't be for the beloved and hallowed grounds of battling to the death. our dear and soon to be departed ancient athletic Competition would include vomit launching, toga facility, Chamberlain Field? soiling, obscene cheering, arm branding, creative hazing, inhumane calisthenics and little sister swapping. • The Al Haig Pershing II Missile Site multiplication, division, addition and subtraction of UTC cafeteria ladies equipped with roller skates would What an idea! The Ruskies will never think to bomb numbers all at the same location and time! man the full-service concession stands. UTC. We're sure of full strike-back capability with this •The Association For Campus Entertainment •General Parking Lot No. 19 one! Drive-In Movie Theater This piece of ground would be too good to give to •The Math 107 Outdoor Lecture Hall Students and faculty alike could relive the old days those spoiled people with blue permits. Besides, students The hordes of Math 107 students would be able to when people went to drive-ins to make out, get drunk could sit in the stands and watch as frantic drivers play learn about knowledgable importances such as and do fun things like sneak people in inside the trunk. demolition derby while vying for that sacred last space ^^VV^^V^wVV^VV^VVV^V^^^^^^V^VV^^^^VV + BOLERO HITS C®MIM * cont. from p. 1 * ushered into his lavish office, Mr. Bolero was just finishing the last course of his catered feast; caviar hors * d'ouvres. aged wild yak ribs with exotic vegetables and * baked Alaska 4 The Society "You want a toothpick?" he asked as he was cleaning the grease from clusters of precious stones in his many rings. "They're diamond-tipped." * Of "Why not." I replied. Willv practically reeked of wealth One had the feeling + he was just stopping by to make sure the money was Decapitated People still rolling in. The profit graph on the wall indicated business was booming. + ; "What's your problem. " he asked finally. * "Well. Willv. I replied. "I'm here lo interview vou * concerning the parking situation here at UTC." ! • V> '• • • ,11 • i • " one and I'll —I mean we will really be set." "But what about the students?" I inquired. "Which ones?" "For starters the ones in the parking lots now with tickets on them." * "Yeah well, you know no great strides were ever taken * without some sacrifice." * "What great strides?" "Why the new parking garage." he said with a gleam in his eye. "Who do you think all this is for? Some day * this campus will have the best parking facilities in the south." + ""When?" + * "vimedav ^^VV^VV^VV^^^^^^^^VV^^^^^^^V^^^^VwVV October 26, 1984/The Mock Papers 7 1 *m m**m •IIUM i# i mi m ii *m mm* said that Wonit actually ate three-day-old Bulletin: Finkel lodged a protest just cafeteria peas—a clear violation of the before press-time claiming that Culvert Physical Plant Sports in SpurtsChattanoog a Health Code. took fifteen diet pills right before jumping No decision has yet been made into the mud pit. This caused Intramural and Food Services pending the results of the autopsy. Director and Chief Bush Trimmer Tony co-sponsor winter Jaded to postpone official results pending the outcome of a urinalysis. Hill of Thrills Wonit Won It Culvert gets down festival and dirty on Intramural action climaxed this week in Jaded opens new the annual flem hurling competition. The Finkel contest is composed of four different intramural Tray skiing will be added this winter as parts. Measurements were taken for a UTC Intramural event according to highest arch, furthest distance, densest Sorority mud wrestling action got facilities Assistant Intramural Director Jim Gorney. spittle and color most resembling three- underway last week with Pi-Omega When the temperature drops below day-old cafeteria peas. emerging as an early leader in the two freezing this winter, the "runaway toilet" "This year's competition was pretty week "Mud-Marathon." Hot scoop! Intramural Dept. Assistant in Hunter Hall will be activated to send sticky," said T-shirt winning head hocker In the turning point of last week's John B. Flushing informed us here at the water rolling down "the hill." When a Wonton Wonit. "I think the most difficult competition, Pi-Omega middle weight Jo Mock that a new sport has been added sufficient hardening occurs, eligible aspect of this year's contest was the strong "Convulsion" Culvert won a highly to the fall line up—bathroom hockey! students will ski down the hill on dinner head wind," continued the soaked but competitive grudge battle over fierce The games will take place in the trays, rented from the cafeteria. No stolen happy champ. Alpha Delta Crime rival Lori "Sigmund" Student Center men's restroom (the trays will be allowed in competiton, nor As for training she said, "I do most of Finkel. largest on campus). Players armed with will trays containing any variations be my practicing during the winter months. Leading two takedowns to one, Finkel scrub brushes will attempt to knock toilet allowed. Judging will be on poise as well I can usually add a couple of extra feet found herself on the loosing end after two freshening cakes past goalies guarding the as speed. Applicants must exhibit an on distance when I have a cold." consecutive Culvert half-Nelsons. strategically placed stalls. ability to dodge the protruding steel pole, A protest has been presented to Tony "She whipped me alright," quipped a Three-on-three competition begins situated on the sidewalk near Vine St. in Jaded, director of intramurals and less-than-happy Finkel. "I just hate to cry Oct. 31. "Unlimited number" team order to enter the event. Entries are window washing, claiming foul play in the uncle to a girl that lives on Twinkies and competition starts May 31. available in the intramural office. color competition. Another participant Cafe Francaise." Janitors will not be allowed to compete. Drag Racing Planned for Vine Street "No By Betalotta Mock Certified Accountant thanks The UTC Racing Club, in conjunction There is speculation that the "Phantom with UTC Security and J Avery Bryan Driver," who has terrorized Vine St. for Funeral Home, announce plans for a years, will surface publicly in this I'd rather drag race to be run in four heats down competition. In preparation for his entry, Vine Street each day from 11 a.m. to UTC Racing Club Chairman Paul Scates 12:30 p.m. UTC Security Chief Richard said that J Avery Bryan Funeral Home have Brown said that his department had been would be on constant duty during race swamped with entry requests from hours to remove any bodies hurriedly an apple.. drivers, some allegedly with five years from the course site. experience on the course. Informed "We will do all we can to ensure an sources said that at least one entry was uninterrupted race." added Scates. a UTC Security Guard. He shall remain Scates' concern results from the nameless, as staff members are not "Phantom's" habit of appearing from eligible. nowhere and scattering a group of coeds. All interested applicants are directed to or call assistant to the dean of students. Dave Roberts, who is handling "official" entries • • for the races. a pizza There are hopes among some groups that paramutual betting will be allowed on the events. Assistant dean of students, Richard MacDougall has been named chairman of a five-member committee to or study this proposal. Opponents of the measure fear the addiction to betting of a host of poor college students (who can't a salad.. afford enough peanut butter now). while proponents point to the "two birds with one stone effect." That is. in order to have or enough lanes for paramutual gambling. Vine St. would have to be widened on both sides, taking, among other things, a sub.. the Stadium Dorm, the Echo headquarters, as well as the offices of the dean of students. A lively debate is or.." This is not a drag racer. expected on the issue. 8 The Mock Papers/October 26, 1984 Gallery IV Exhibit / Lost My Lunch in San Francisco —Fine Arts Barracks 1 <&*0>i0™^<0*^'*0™&*0*0*^<^<&>*^K0*0v^<^<^y^0*0>»^*0^ A Halloween Message From The Mock FAMOUS EXCUSES FROM FRIENDS TO FRIENDS. All that good jewelry is going to waste. No, I'm not a kleptomaniac. He won't mind, he's dead. C'mon I only had two more feet to dig. He won't be using those gold fillings six feet under. Don't compare me to Dr. Frankenstein! C'mon it's Halloween. It's O.K., I'm studying for an anatomy lab test. No, wait, I just wanted somebody to talk to. What are you a wimp? Afraid of a few bones? Do you have any idea how much it costs to feed a dog these days? M FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS ROB GRAVES.