St. Louis Game Time Contains Extreme Sarcasm and Less-Than-Gentle Language
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St Louis Volume 4, Issue 18 Game Time December 27, 2008 Four Dollars Of Positive Mental Attitude The Game Day Guide To St. Louis Blues Hockey Established in 2005 By Brad Lee fans rooted for their team to lose. I understood why, but I couldn’t do it then and I can’t do it now even with two absolute studs The month of December isn’t even over yet and I’ve seen some projected at the top of the draft. Blues fans on the Internets talk about rooting for the Blues to tank the rest of the season in order to have the best odds at Bill Simmons over at ESPN the Website a few years ago talked winning the first overall pick in the NHL draft lottery. That’s just about how teams out of contention have been known down the crazy. stretch to often quit trying in the hopes of improving their draft status. If they can do it, then why can’t fans root for their team to When the Blues have a stretch of schedule like this, it’s not like tank? So that’s what he did with his Celtics. He rooted for you have to root really hard for them to lose. Sunday them to lose every game down the stretch in 2007 so they played Boston, the second best team in the that they could be in a position to draft Kevin NHL. Tuesday they played at Detroit, the third Durant or Greg Oden. They didn’t luck out and best team in the league. Tonight, they welcome got the fifth pick in the draft. So instead of San Jose, the best hockey team in the league drafting one of those two players, they made so far this season. And the Blues could cry some trades and acquired Kevin Garnett and uncle tonight, setup to meekly lose to all won the NBA title. So his tactic of fan tanking three. More on that later. didn’t even work and it took an imaginative Sure the Blues have lost seven of their and daring front office to pull things together last eight games with difficult to win games for the team to win. next on the schedule starting with the NHL- “Less rational fans can’t stomach the leading Sharks tonight. And of course three of thought of fan tanking, even when it’s with the the Blues’ best forwards and two important most noble intentions, because it makes them defensemen are out with injuries. Oh, and Andy feel like traitors,” Simmons wrote. Murray is criticizing almost the entire team through TM the media. Neither goaltender is showing he wants the starting I don’t think I’m less rational than most fans job. Beer prices are a bitch. The ushers are inconsistent in even though I write for an underground, fan-run paper about a stopping people from walking in during play. People still yell below average hockey team and devote several hours to writing for shoot too much on the power play. Other than that, the Blues are the paper’s website. It’s not like I’ve got a playoff ticket jar on top fine. of my refrigerator where I put spare change in with the hope of putting the money towards hockey tickets in April and May. If I At the end of the 2005-06 season when the Blues were did that, I would probably have enough money to buy a car since challenging for last place in the NHL and the best odds of the Blues’ last trip to the playoffs. winning the first overall pick in the draft lottery, a lot of St. Louis (Continued on page 26) Today’s Records, Injuries & News Today’s Team Records: Today’s Injuries: Today’s News & Notes: Blues: Sharks: Blues: C Andy McDonald (fractured • Recent rookie points leader Derrick 13-18-3 (29 points) 27-4-3 (57 points) ankle), LW Paul Kariya (lower body), F Brassard (CLB) had his first career 5th in Central 1st in Pacific TJ Oshie (ankle, again), D Fragile Jay fight last week. It ended badly as he 15th in Western 1st in Western McKee (broken finger) and D Eric injured his shoulder, needs surgery Brewer (back surgery) are out. and will miss the rest of the season. Last Ten Games: Blues: Sharks: Sharks: C Jeremy Roenick (shoulder • Avalanche leading scorer Paul Stastny 3-7-0 7-1-2 surgery) and C Torrey Mitchell (broken breaks his arm and is out indefinitely. leg) are out. LW Milan Michalek (upper • Game Time staff looking for reasons to Season Series: All-Time Series: body injury) is questionable. get out of the house at this point. 0-1-1 39-22-3-2 CAUTION: St. Louis Game Time contains extreme sarcasm and less-than-gentle language. But it is a hockey paper, so you should fucking just get over it. Volume 4, Issue 18 From The Editor December 27, 2008 Since I’m not that big on writing the annual didn’t think he’d get any votes at all. But St. Louis Game Time soft-focus Christmas/holiday piece, whether then again, I didn’t drop $250 on an Established: November 6, 2005 it be for the paper or for our website, the Oshie jersey, either, so maybe I can see St Louis, Missouri game before and game after Christmas that. Phone: 402-2266 usually leaves me in a bit of a conundrum. The next most-surprising for me was www.StLouisGameTime.com That’s an easy article to write, after all. Jay McKee. Honestly, I expected him to garner a much bigger percentage of the “Dear Santa…” Godfather vote. But rather than look at as a sign of Unfortunately, it’s not my thing. Luckily Jeffio respect from the fans, I think the oppo- enough for me, on our website I can just site has happened. People haven’t come throw a stupid video of someone’s mom accept his unflashy play and the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief rapping about her failed Christmas solid defense that McKee is known Sean Gallagher shopping for a soup tureen (soup for; I think people have just [email protected] soup tureen) on the front page and lowered their expectations and call it a holiday. Also lucky for me, written off what we’re going to one of our regulars over at the Advertising get out of Fragile Jay. We now website did me the favor of writing [email protected] know to only expect him to a pretty solid ‘Santa in St. Louis’ [email protected] play 20-60 games a year, score around piece which was easily moved to the front zero points and endure two really weird page. Based on the responses he got, there is injuries a season. We all already know Distribution a desire out there for Blues fans to see some too that when this contract ends, he’ll John Nicolay sort of festive holiday writing. head back to Buffalo on a sweetheart Amy Benoist, Becky Benoist, So, I’ll do it. Sort of. Again referring to the hometown contract that will make the Billy Cash, Clarence Walker new and improved GT website, I posted a $16 million that the Blues paid him look poll earlier this week harkening back to the more distorted than the buyout a certain Columnists made-up holiday of Seinfeld’s Frank guy with IV after his name took to sell Chris Gift, Duke, Brad Lee, Costanza. In accordance with his self-made out his family, loyal-to-a-fault Answer Man & Brian Weidler Festivus, every year at the dinner table there employees, history and city. is an Airing of Grievances. During this, you Not to be all bitter. (Please return to Contributors let everyone know how much they have enjoying your frosty Inbevweiser.) Jeffio, Jeff Browning, LosBri, disappointed you over the last year. My poll Childhood Trauma, Dan Doke, Jeff read: It’s Festivus, time for the Airing of The Robot’s comparatively low poll Fahrenkrog, Jeremy Pratte & Chris Reed Grievances. Which Blue has disappointed numbers also surprised me. Much like you the most this year? McKee, I guess the expectations that Photographer Andrew D’Angelo people have for Pronger’s most visible As I put in the options, I tried to think of replacement have gone down a bit. I everyone who had let us down, but tried to Mission: mean, excluding the one guy in every keep it to just five choices. Obviously, that section who can’t stop yelling at him. Game Time will provide prospect was a bit tough. After just a few days, here information, up-to-date statistics, articles Brewer has been exactly what his career are the totals, along with the percentages of that spark discussion and humor that has indicated he would be: a very solid people who voted for them: points out the best and worst about our defenseman who will put up modest favorite team and sport. We are all fans of TJ Oshie: $250 on a new jersey, he’s played point totals and will make defensive the Blues and our opinions will reflect those of subjective fans. in 12 games (3%) mistakes from time to time. A The paper is published for every home Jay McKee: 4 million dollars, 4 million top-pairing defenseman he is, Chris game, excluding the pre-season, which we broken bones (4%) Pronger he is not. Maybe people are all know sucks. starting to realize that. Eric Brewer: No robot has ever run a more inefficient program (16%) Manny Legace’s high percentage Rights & Permissions: struck me as odd, too.