SP

The student newspaper of Imperial College

Issue 1036 FELIX October 13th 1995 Rag Man Awash with Free Spirit

BY ALEX FEAKES the Rag idea. As an incentive, IC Rag Chair, Richard Willis, drinks were offered to is facing a union disciplinary prospective raggies, a common committee after giving out free practice for freshers' events, and whisky and vodka at the club's one endorsed by the Union. meeting last Friday. Unusually in this case, the drinks College security were offered where strong spirits such alerted after a fresher was found as vodka and whisky, not the incapacitated from alcohol on the normal beer or wine. The spirits Sherfield walkway last Friday were bought off campus and afternoon. The first year consumed at lunchtime, just a biochemist had been attending few days after the Union stated the Rag Freshers' event in the that it did not approve of Union Ents Lounge at lunchtime, lunchtime drink promotions. where free shots of spirits where Concern has been expressed being offered as incentives to get as to how the fresher got into involved. such a state, especially as the The fresher was found by people at the meeting were the newly appointed Project limited to two shots of spirits, Manager of Estates, Ian Frame, in one at the beginning and one at a 'barely conscious state' outside the end. One person said that the the Bookshop. Mr Frame, fresher had been acquiring drinks concerned for the young man's throughout the meeting, and that health, alerted security, and the Mr Willis, seeing the fresher was fresher was subsequently the worse for drink at the end of escorted to the Health Centre in the meeting, advised him not to Princes Gardens. After have another. The fresher was examination, the Health Centre later seen buying a pint of strong were satisfied that he was in no cider in Da Vinci's, before being danger and contacted Mr Willis PlidtoiWilliam Loronz taken to the JCR 'to find a with regards to the incident. In control of one's faculties: Richard Willis at Tuesday's council. coffee' by a friend. When they The Rector has been made were on the walkway, near to the aware of the incident, and has increasing across college in the least once. JCR, the first year collapsed, and also received a copy of the wake of a spate of media reports The Rag Freshers' Meeting his friend went to find help. One security report. Concern at the in which Imperial College has was just a short 20 minute levels of student drinking are been mentioned explicitly at gathering to introduce freshers to continued on page 2

Eric Allsop is New Council Chair Accommodation Worries

Summer fears that the main overwhelmingly voted in as IC students are increasingly decision making body of ICU council chair. Much of the first becoming victims of unscrup- would start the new year without meeting was spent in heated ulous letting agents. One group a chairman were allayed on discussion of the proposed union say they lost £350 to a leaser Tuesday when Eric Allsop was move to Sherfield. Page 2 they cannot trace. Page 3 TWO . FELIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1995 NEWS Hizb-ut-Tahrir Strike Again

BY ANDY SINHARAY sexist and homophobic. An extremist Islamic group The student went on to who were caught illegally theorise that some young male exhibiting at Freshers' Fair last Muslims were drawn to the week appears to have struck group not so much due to its again. ideology as its notoriety. It is believed that Hizb-ut- Other students reported the Tahrir, a group entirely separate unsolicited delivery of leaflets at from IC's own Islamic Society, Falmouth-Keogh Hall, though have been attempting to none of the staff nor security distribute unsolicited leaflets personnel appeared to be aware through departmental pigeon of their distribution. The holes as well as putting leaflets Warden of the Hall, Professor under students' doors in Prince's Geoffrey New, said, "It's very Gardens. Reports have reached difficult to control. If it's a Felix of literature being placed in student I'm not really sure what the departments of Physics and we could do to stop it." Aeronautics, issued by what calls Though it has come to light itself the "Hizb-ut-Tahrir that more othodox Muslims have Cultural Commitee", although it had leaflet campaigns in the is unclear whether or not IC Prince's Gardens area, Hizb-ut- students are responsible. Tahrir have been similarly One orthdox Muslim distributing material. Felix did student who did not wish to be attempt to contact Hizb-ut- identified, seemed to have taken Tahrir on the contact telephone the law into his own hands and number that had been given on Sitting down: Eric Allsop takes the chair Photo:William Lorcnz disposed of some of the the leaflet. The number itself literature himself having seen it turned out to be a switchboard The vacant position of meeting was taken up with talk in his department. He said that extension of a company which Imperial College Union Council of the proposed Union move to the majority of Muslims distance had said it didn't have knowledge Chair was filled by a Mechanical Sherfield. The mood of Council themselves from Hizb-ut-Tahrir of any religious groups. Engineering Postgraduate, Eric was clearly hostile to any "and it's quite common to see Hizb-ut-Tahrir were Allsop, in a two man contest on relocation away from Beit Quad, people go up to them... and ask particularly active last academic Tuesday night. The post had with many questioning the what they're doing and why." year when their behaviour was become vacant because the practicality of cohabitation with However, he seemed condemned by London Colleges intended incumbent, Vinod the administration. surprised at the apparent including KCL, SOAS, and the Fernandez, is no longer at Following protracted, and tameness of the literature itself; University of London Union Imperial. The first meeting of often heated discussion, Council "They've never been that quiet itself, which consequently the year had to fill a number of unanimously agreed to back before... they've been quite open banned them from its premises. vacant posts, including that of ICU's approach of arguing for about what they do." Set up in On Wednesday Brunei Women's Officer. the best facilities in a possible the 1950s the group, which University shut down its own After considerable diff- Shcrfield-based Union, while claims to have been continually union's Islamic Society as it had iculties were experienced in the campaigning for the extension misrepresented, has been widely been so overrun with Hizb-ut- election of the four Ordinary of the existing base in Beit accused of being anti-semitic, Tahrir members. Members, the bulk of the Quad. continued from page 1 raised the matter at a Union get them from an off-license. commendable'. However, Matt raggie said that 'He didn't seem Finance Committee, and Responsibility for the Crompton stated in a any worse than many other received assurances there, and incident is confused, with a letter memorandum that he held it to people get throughout the year.' later from Matt Crompton, Dep. from Security seemingly be, 'the responsibility of the A spokesman for Rag said Pres. Finance and Services, that absolving Richard Willis from society concerned to control the that Mr Willis had been very the idea was acceptable blame, saying that 'every effort quantity and ensure that people careful about obtaining 'assuming that he was aware of was made to ensure that new do not have too much to drink...I permission for the event, the licensing rules'. When Mr students were not encouraged to think that it is the- responsibility especially with regard to the Willis inquired at the bar in order over-indulge,' and that his actions of Rag to ensure that they didn't funds for the drinks. He had to get the spirits, he was told to following the event were 'highly drink to excess.' FELIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1995 . THREE NEWS Rowing Row

BY TOM However, neighbours of the Controversy still surrounds Putney Embankment site claim the proposed extension of that the expansion will destroy Imperial College rowing club's the character of the local area. boat house. "College is bending over The club hopes to receive backwards to accommodate local planning permission for the £1 residents wishes," Mr Murray million project in November, but said. He claimed that after five years of planning and consulations with those affected nine months of consultation, have resulted in 6 - 7 changes local residents are still unhappy and modifications to the plans. with the scheme. Bill Mason, Boat Club Coach Sports and Leisure Manager says that they have a water tight Frank Murray insists that the case for the spend. Imperial extension is a vital upgrade of College rowers have won just facilities that have remained about every major competition in more or less unchanged for the the last few years. last sixty years. When it was built Tim Townend, Deputy in 1937, the designers did not see President (C&S) was unsym- the need to include women's pathetic to the locals' comp- shower rooms, or indoor training laints: "If they live on a river, facilities. what do they expect," he said.

the local Trading Standards expand the student facilities in Officer. She also advises that a their current Beit Quad location complete inventory should be had not been considered. carried out with a witness, and On Tuesday night the BY JEREMY CLARKE and ask anyone with information this inventory be given to the Student Council voted to back a request to the College from the AND MARK of his whereabouts to contact agent or landlord. "Holding [email protected]. deposits are not good practice executive . This requests funds to Accommodation fears Pat Harvey, Residents' and should be challenged" she help study the viability of ICU's plans for Beit. Sarah White, ICU Fears have been expressed Assistant at the Student says, "nor can agents charge for President explained the plans to that Imperial College students Accommodation Office (SAO) your details." move the Union offices and Felix are increasing becoming victims told Felix that although deposits Further advice is available to the front of Beit Quad, with of unscrupulous letting agents, are sometimes difficult to from the Housing Rights Guide the Bar and the Lounge enlarging who illegally charge for 'hidden' reclaim, the specific problems of which can be obtained from the into the freed-up space on the costs when letting flats and the students mentioned had not Union or the SAO. ground floor. The rest of Beit houses. Students, often in a rush occurred before. Answering the could then be developed for to secure a place to live before charge that the SAO is meant to Beit Manoeuvres conferences, and the extra term starts, are being forced to vet agents, she said that the it has Ian Caldwell and Ian Frame students could be pay for charges such as 'holding insufficient funds and staff to of the Estates Division have deposits' and 'handling fees'. actively assess the names it called for better communication accommodated. provides, so no guarantee of One group of students put with Imperial College Union Sarah reiterated her suitability can be given. down a deposit of £350 on a (ICU) over the proposed move of scepticism of the propsed plans Nevertheless, the Office and the house in Willisden, expecting to the union offices. The four ICU to move. It would be "...like a Union advisor will act upon move in from the end of sabbatical officers met the estates sports centre in the middle of complaints made against any of September. However, on directors on Monday after a Sherfield" and at odds with the names on the lists. arriving, they discovered that the letter from the ICU executive to student's interests, she said. Dr. present tenants would not be The Union Advisor, Minever the department and articles in Eastwood, Director of Planning, moving out until November, Kavlak, suggests that although Felix emphasised the concerns of put it that the feasibility leaving them without many agents are "charging fees the student body. studyhad managed to make an accommodation lor the new for 'holding deposits', In an amicable yet frank amalgamation of the Union and a term. The agent, Kevin Begoo, 'administrative fees' and meeting, Mr Caldwell cut down administration disappeared leaving no contact 'inventory fees'", students should emphasised that Estates had the workable in the building. address, and without one the be prepared to challenge such union's best interests at heart. The plans stem from an idea students cannot take out a court fees. She recommends that if the Tim Townend, Deputy suggested by architects Sir order to retrieve their money. amounts charged seem excessive, President, expressed concern Norman Foster and Partners that They are anxious to trace him then they should be reported to that alternative proposals to the college lacked 'a heart', and Long odds. High rewards.

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On Monday night fire alarms were set off by the ents lounge smoke machine and the union was evacuated an hour before closing. On Wednesday everyone had to sit on the floor when too many turned up to see the comedy. Later a window was smashed in the ents lounge. ;On Friday night every gents' toilet in the building blocked. "Write something nice about freshers' week/' Ents manager Mark Home said. "Whatever, the people had a good time and you Ican't ask for much more than that". Vik Bansal was at the Freshers' Ball:

Okay, I admit it. I wasn't there for col- Imperial College about lege acid jazz type outfit Bandicoot. You can to have another Queen blame another gig on the other side of London on its hands?! for that. And just to prove What I can say is that when I saw that college bands rule Bandicoot in the union a few months ago I okay, the next band in was startled by their musical cohesion and the Ents Lounge, expert playing. By all accounts, tonight they Metropolis, paled in way surpassed that performance, not least comparison with their due to the introduction of some fine female brand of jazz. Average vocals. Yessir, creative ability need not be and not particularly hampered by doing a science degree. Is inspirational, there's not a lot else to say. ing the lady's babies. And so to upstairs and the ever-popular Cynicism aside, they gave everyone what Whirl-y-gig. First up are Earthquake who they wanted (musically, you understand). didn't so much as violently shake the Pumping beats and swirling keyboard sounds dancefloor as gently rock it with their combined to get people attempting their best soothing dub sounds. Fine as a get-the- impressions at directing aeroplanes. Or drunk-people-in-the-mood type of thing. maybe they were practising being air host- And in the mood they most certainly esses. were for final live act of the night, Whatever, the people had a good time Astralasia. Astralasia had done their and you can't ask for much more than that. homework. Get a scantily clad female dancer at the front of the stage and you I know you're on a winner at most places. ' Do it at Imperial and 76% of the audience will profess love and babble on about hav- Photos: Diana Harrison comedy club fri. oct 13th Sean Cock John Fothergill free T-shirts to 1st 50 in. £2.50/£2 (entscard) 8pm

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r wag roadworks at I \ in 'Reading and my journey time can be between 1 and iding on cir- S. What do you find most depressing about IC? cumstances. Two^^inffli^s, the first . immunications between i administration and the 3. What are you di rert of the College. This hi Running the Glassblowing Service of Imperial College. It's a skilled job, with a ten year apprenticeship. There used to be a glass- blower in each depart- ment, but we're the only ones now. It's like a dmin- small business, though istration which is respon- we don't make any prof- sible for this. it. Paperwork gets in the , way of efficiency: that's But it's not all negative: ,, progress. And if we had One of the joys of work- someone to do the ing in college is meeting admin, that w mid be -JflflB young people. It stops you getting old. Also I n-1"" ' meet people from all 4. What do you keep on the wall of vour workplace? over the world, that's a nice aspect of the job. We speak at least 10 Paint. languages now, including rubbish. It s not every job your workfon e change.-, every ' 5. Do you get paiij enough? Pass. 9. Will >ou still fc here in five year's time? Having survived 32 years I feel able to cope with the next five, but 6. What do you have for lunch? iiestion is not in my hands. Eating is confined to Breakfast and an evening bite. Very occasional- ly I have a meal at" 10. Wdiat will make you lunchtime. come into work tomor- We speak at least lO languages now,row ? } | up most including rubbish." I enjoy glass blowing. of your time? _ There aren't many places Paperwork * either processing payments, estimates and ordering you can practice now and still be paid. I'm told if I stick at it long stock - seems to consume at least 50% of my time. You need forms enough I'll get the hang of it. to get forms here. There are rooms with monsters in holding the GRADUATES

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comment:,,,, «k r 1 colurnner:,,, i,, i ,1,,, exhibition:works on paper - andreas vogWk baker «j^7 foodicoask on bun/aril — - i i. i I lilin:land of freedom* . filmispeciestintin gig:levellers + prophets of da city* insight:quantum socks* 1 singles:^ travelionward, mr foggl™ coast: food: coast eon brocard This place was a car salesroom before the 'Bavarois of Goat's Cheese with Salad'. It was restaurant took over, and it shows. The front of fairly large and rich. I would have preferred the the restaurant consists of five large glass panels, cheese warm and a smaller portion. Overall the each with a letter of 'coast' inscribed upon it. dish was well balanced and nice. Once you've found the entrance (the pane on Waiting for the main course, we amused our- i>17l 495 5999 the left] you enter a large room covered with selves by working out where the waiters would tables. Another room lies below, but it is small- sit people. It seemed that people in jackets were er and darker - while I was there a couple decid- given the nice room, whereas those in trainers ed not to dine here, rather than having to eat and jeans or young people were placed below. downstairs. My tip is to dress elegantly and book The main course arrived in good time. early if you want a table. Francois had chosen 'Baked Cod with Polenta tip, don't asj> them about the Once you're seated, you can pursue the Pont-Neuf' which turned out to be cod and menu. Good luck! The cook is English but well polenta chips. A definite success. Martine travelled, the waiter informed us. The dishes are enjoyed her 'Lamb with Harissa sauce and supposedly Californian, but seem rather inter- Couscous'. I had 'Soup Noodles with Duck', national. All the dishes are over complicated which was disappointing. The duck was perfect, (and too expensive], as you might expect for this but the soup and noodles were bland. month's fashionable restaurant. Unfortunately, the only dessert I was willing We ordered (I recommend the Chablis to try, 'PJiubard with Custard' had been Brocard, no. 23 (top choice - Edj) and received replaced with 'Creme Bruiee', so we quickly our first courses within minutes. Francois (one paid the bill and left. of my companions] had chosen duck raviolis, In all, rather disappointing for an in restau- which he found exquisite, though I thought it a rant, especially as there are no lunch menus. I tad rich. Martine (my other companion] had wouldn't go back here, though Tader and Fay declined the first couse, while I went for a Mashler would disagree.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 columner column about columns... Arghhh, yes its yet another column. Front page, back page, opinion page. competition: Whatever publication you pick up, they seem to get everywhere. With so many of them I am getting a little saturated. It is almost enough to get to the a peugeot i: . 1gear- point where I say; "Don't you just hate are all over the place, that you can hardly move for yet another new set. all these columns? Don't you just hate With everybody into it, this, the latest to be desired fashion, the com- all these columnists?" It is because they petition is immense. It's almost enough to make you sick. It is certainly 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 starting to make me sick. That each colvrmnist is trying desperately try- ing to out do each other. Like we have started a race. It is this burgeon- ii "ft n fl ing I am starting to dislike. An through all these words. All hoping to be first. industry of busy workers cantering I am not here to rant. I have had too much of that for me to imitate it away at their typewriters, turning polly-style. I dislike it, I am so wary of it. I have read so much bad opinion; factiess, black and white, rushed opinion, I want no more. I squirm too from those who have made it to the fold of paid colum- nists. Maybe its those pictures next to their work. You know those little snapshot pictures of smiling hand- Far more hip, trendy, cool and sexy than I could ever be, with a level of some people, looking either hip and sophistication and elegance than I could only dream of. Maybe this is why trendy or extremely sophisticated. we all want to be column writers. Then we could all be perfect people with perfect ideas, just like them. I think though that it is just that I am bored by their nice little anec- dotes of good little middle class life. anyone else, so that they get a whole page to themselves. That we should The idea that these people are far listen to them because they think that we should listen to them. The whole more worthy for our attention than elitist academic tiling which is so unnecessary. The fact that they often fail to say anything at all, that they persistently will not commit themselves to any idea or put their neck out for anything. Dare they say anytiiing which is foolish which they might have to retract in six months time. All they can 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 do is suggest. Am I to drink that So here I am -1 have slagged off botlh those 'mshed columns' and 'sophis- they are clever or not serious for ticated columns'. Many would consider this one of my own diatribes, here not standing to their corner? I am trying to be sophisticated and all I end up doing is joining the queue marked "rant." That is not my intention. Truly it is not. With me writing a iGreat' atjd give it to tts, T column, the irony has not escaped me. Perhaps it is because the subject is very heartfelt for me. Perhaps because I love opinion, I breathe opinion, I love people who have opinion in their blood. Good opinion is worth its weight in gold. And all I want is to read good opinion. That's all. 0 0 views have no place in a democracy, a system simon baker alien to many of the organisation's members. Well, another year at Imperial has just begun, In the world beyond SW7, much media and the new inmates have arrived- three years interest has concentrated on the shenanigans of with early release for bad exam results. I shan't our gallic cousins in the Muroroa Atoll. Although waste much time regaling freshers with lots of the whole need for these test looks a little ques- 'useful tips' that you have probably already tionable (and I'm as pro-nuclear as the next heard. However, dear reader, one piece of advice man), given the software now produced by the deserves to be repeated. Many of you new, anti- Americas to model such events, I fully under- establishment, free spirits may be used to refer- stand Jacques Chirac's wish to conduct the tests ring to the local constabulary as pigs, the filth etc. in an ostensibly deserted area, where there is lit- That's fine by me, you naughty children, but do tle chance of affecting humans. In which case, remember that those fine, upstanding gentle- why not explode the devices in Disney Land, men in red police cars are Paris? That way, the coral all known as, 'Sir'. I shall reefs of the South Pacific are say no more. As a passive 10- a- day not threatened, and if radia- A surprisingly large man, I shall be forced tion levels were to become amount of news seems to dangerous, the existence of be floating around to start buying my mutant animals would go College even at this early unnoticed in a place solely point in the term. own if people ever inhabited by six foot high Reports of excessive take any notice. mice and ducks. As far as the drinking have not boycott of French products is escaped me, and I am somewhat concerned. concerned, I can honestly say that I haven't True, Imperial does have a number of serious bought a single bottle of vintage champagne drink problems. Firstiy, it takes an eternity to get since the whole sorry saga began. served in Southside bar (although it's always Closer to home, the party conference sea- worth the wait), and secondly, the beer in the son will have finishedb y the time you read this. Union is reminiscent of the yellow liquid often Socialists can again walk freely in Brighton, and found in the South Ken. subway. More serious- the Liberal Democrats will return to maintaining ly, as long as bar staff exercise their right to refuse their pivotal position in the political wilderness. service to people who are clearly on the verge of As for the Conservatives, this year's conference unconsciousness, we will not have a problem. will effectively be the first part of their election Drinking is not the only activity which is campaign. It would be wrong to suggest that being watched. The JCR now has a blanket 'No their chances of forming the next government Smoking' ban, and in the process has exhausted are similar to Lord Sutch's as a result of the Blair world supplies of signs to indicate this. As a pas- effect. sive 10- a- day man, I shall be forced to start buy- Any party can be hugely popular if it attacks ing my own if people ever take any notice. everybody else without burdening itself with Also, religious fundamentalism again seems such sordid things as policies and commitments. to have reared its ugly head in the guise of Hizb- Time will tell if the British electorate can be per- ut-Tahrir. Whilst no reasonable person would suaded by arguments so thin as to be non-exis- question the right to free speech, such extreme tent.

book: a son of the circus- and further forgets to tell his 'adopted' son that his twin is a Jesuit missionary who will land in "a son of the john irvingtintin Bombay at some point in the next two days. He Perhaps the best measure of John Irving's skill as also goes to his club only to find that there's been circus a writer is that he manages to involve so many a murder on the ninth green. In-between we go back in time, to the start slips back and forth in complex characters in the 830 pages of his latest novel, A Son of the Circus, without losing either of Indian's most bmtal and bizarre serial mur- time, mixing its charac- the plot or the reader. ders, which coincidentally also led to the mar- riage of a Bombay police inspector, the start of ters' backgrounds and Loosely based around the 'whoisit?' of an Indian serial killer, Irving's hero (a Canadian Dr. Daruwala's writing career and his conversion then bringing them into orthopeadic surgeon come Bollywood script- to a particularly low form of Anglicanism. writer; bom in Bombay but belonging nowhere Maybe you're getting the picture. A Son of and incidentally called Farrokh Daruwala) lands the Circus slips back and forth in time, mixing its comes complete with in India for his usual five-yearly visit. So what to characters' backgrounds and then bringing them do? Farrokh used to bleed dwarfs from the cir- into locus again. And it all comes complete with [twig's wry; absurd cus to try and find the genetic cause of their con- Irving's wry, absurd sense of humour. sease oi humour." dition (but that's become a bit of a fading hobby Despite, and because of, its length too (by now), so he waits to see how violent the reaction the end you're wishing for just one more chap- to his new Inspector Dhar film is, forgets to tell ter) A Son of the Circus is a real joy to read. his 'adopted' son that he has an identical twin >in cience that is out. of the ordi- 99 nary, eyebrow raising and slight- "something strange is afoot. ly over the edge: this week insight exposes some disturb- The Experts Own Up - S ing truths about one of science's and acceptance amongst the scientific commu- most coveted theories- They Don't Understand nity. Could it be that socks are quantum objects Quantum Physics. Could it possibly be true that and are quantum mechanically tunnelling from there is not a single lecturer on campus who It Either one washing machine to another somewhere understands it ? Insight investigates. else in the universe? And, thanks to some unusual investigative If you find all this quantum business baffling, Flynn is convinced this is the case and journalism, we are close to solving a mystery you are in good company. The nobel prize win- although quantum sock theory may be hard to which has puzzled scientists and philosophers ning physicist Richard Feynman once wrote:- accept, the evidence he puts forward is com- alike throughout this century: Where do all the ".../ think I can safely say that nobody pelling: odd socks go? understands quantum mechanics." And he ought to know! Another founder of fftjf] Socks disappear from inside washing modem physics, Murrey Gell-Mann says:- j | machines. This statement is so bla- The Mysterious World of "All of modern physics is governed by that (p I tantly true it hardly needs proving. the Quantum magnificent and thoroughly confusing disci- However, if you doubt it just check pline called quantum mechanics invented your collection of socks. It is almost certain that Quantum physics, arguably the most success- more than fifty years ago. It has survived all some socks do not form pairs, showing conclu- ful theory ever, is also the most bizzare. For the tests. We suppose it is exactly correct. sively that some are missing. example, according to some quantum theories: Nobody understands it but we all know how All particles (electrons, atoms, tennis balls) to use it and how to apply it to problems: and Socks can also appear inside washing behave like waves and vice versa. so we have all learned to live with the fact machines. This is not so clear to the Every time someone makes a decision any- nobody can understand it." casual observer, but yet again a quick where in the universe, the whole universe It seems this pragmatic approach is universal. check of your sock collection should splits into two. So it really is true - nobody at Imperial College soon convince you. You are bound to find at least one odd sock that is not yours. You did not buy it and you were never given it. The sock just appeared one day.

Clearly the spontaneous creation and destruction of socks inside a washing machine would violate all conserva- tion laws, especially sock parity, and the conversion of the mass of the sock into ener- gy would certainly play havoc with a low tem- perature wash.

So if socks cannot be spontaneously created or destroyed, the only explanation is that socks The Quantum Rollercoaster tunnel between machines. Already this term, there have been several reports from IC stu- Quantum objects can momentarily break the or anywhere else for that matter really under- dents of likely tunnelling events. After losing a law of conservation of energy. stands quantum physics. woollen sock during a wash at a local laun- The startling consequence of this is that quan- derette, Valentina Cvord (Mech Eng) said "I tum objects can quickly sneak across a region noticed it straight away, I definitely had the pair which is illegal energetically... Strange Things are Afoot before they went into the machine." And only - Quantum Sock Theory. last week mining student Sophie Dowson lost Conservation of energy says that a carriage two socks (not a pair) in one wash! "I couldn't starting from rest at A could never get further By the time you have been at Imperial for a believe it, they had just vanished - I am devas- than point B. In quantum theory, on the other couple of terms it is (un) likely you will have had tated." she said. hand, there is a chance that the carriage could to do some laundry. If so, you may have wit- Since the probability of tunnelling depends "tunnel" through the "forbidden" region nessed a strange phenomenon - the random dis- on the width of the barrier, It is likely that most between B and C and emerge at C. appearance of socks from washing machines. sock tunnelling will occur between machines For a real rollercoaster, this quantum tun- Insight has come to the amazing conclusion which are in close proximity. Readers are urged, nelling is extremely unlikely! However, for that what we are witnessing here is a quantum therefore, to try their own quantum sock exper- quantum particles such as electrons it is very effect occurring on a large scale in the everyday iments and report back on their results. common. Many devices in common use, such as world. And anyone who finds my green Paddington the scanning tunnelling microscope and the tun- Bear sock turning up in their machine should nel diode are based on this phenomenon. Quantum sock theory was first proposed ear- contact insight urgently. lier this year by Matthew Flynn (Physics World Ben Wilkins May 1995 p72) and is rapidly gaining credence XII -album:all change - cast™ as the revered 'There She Goes'. These two ..releases have alone highlighted Cast's originality It's just about five and a half years since There .is songsmiths at a time when most of the music She Goes' the La's contribution to the: annals ol ' jtimijthe North West of England is a unforgettable 'popular' n \ oulsol our time. John, dour bland cocophony of Oasis-esque Mancunian their lead singer and his < urrent band Cast, have dm el (whether from Manchester or not]. It now released their debut album Change', It is seemed improbable that lor the other ten tracks easy to draw similarities hetv\ een the two bands. it could live up to their singles but happily I was Both bands hail from liverpooi and the vocal wrong. The album is fairly diverse in style but styles arc somewhat akin, it being the Mine bloke every song is highly listenable, and none are album singing. Both have a touch ofrefrdih' their styffp fillers slung, on to make up ninning time. Among but the real difference is that whereas the La's, the tracks are "Walkaway', a beautiful ballad dis- despite their great moments, produced an awful g sensitivity and brilliant vocal tone in the lot ol tat, the same cannot be said ot their prodi- Scotigg: accent. In 'Sandstorm' guitar, voice and gies. From listening to the album, a live set and bass intermingle flawlessly, and in 'Promised seeing them perlonn I can honestly say I haven't Ljnli|s|'iJ||ankind', and 'History' they have a heard a bad Cast song. tripletdfr5otenti.il hits to follow Alright'. So long Cast have given themselves and their album as their material doesn't dry up, we can expect great things from them. great publicity by releasing two of the best songs this year in 'Fine Time' followed by Alright'. Both In summary - you'd be a fool not to buy this are uncriticisably beautiful songs every bit as good album. (9)

.23 c* 2.50. album:garbage - garbage^ ing vocals of ex-Goodbye Mr. Mackenzie and monssette 23 oil - shep bash Angelfish lassie, Shirley Manson. If you're looking em p; hi Hie r.tv m;u - for a reference point then try Curve with no pre- Ho, ho, ho. What a wonderfully ironic band tence and plenty of tunes. But that does not do lo«gpigs + pushennan-24 ^.^B name. How I'd love to be able to tell you that the justice to Garbage. This album is flawed but dif- :: : ferent, conventional yet ready to take a chance, '4 flic - -"Hfk whole tiring has backfired and they are, in actual fact, a load of garbage. Unfortunately, you can't from the blatantly melodic but darkly, menacing always manage to get things your own way, tones of 'Only happy when it rains', through the although Butch Vig (he who produced Nirvana's plain scary industrial guitar pop of Vow', to the 'Nevermind', closing number, Smashing Pumpkins' 'Milk', which man- 'Siamese Dream' ages to achieve the and Soul Asylum's sexy, claustrophobic 'Let your dim light sound that shine', and is now Portishead probably drummer and cre- never will. ative force behind this lot) is doing a As debut albums go, pretty good job of U impressive. As doing just that. albums from failed .shep basil empire itor- musicians-turned Opener 'Super- producers-turned (iiillie 3:nov - shep bush .empire - vixen' sets the pace musicians again go, £"10.50 die wildhearts 3 nov with layered guitars, even more impres- brixton academy -£K) buffalo all manner of loops sive. (7) ton; ^ HOY ~ sH*?p bush empire - and rhythmic sound effects and the allur- nov - earls court - f 14 too fighters 14 & 15 ran - brixton academy - 11 * (.htunlxiwiunba IS nov album:straw donkey - for indie kids, and the fact that Carter usm sell i|x>rir.lhi::|:.:IB.5() tarter INII out on these tours is a bit worrying. So do Abba

2 1 run shep bush empire' carter usrnbvms. c. dick tribute bands and Gary Glitter. S 9 5(1 pulp 21 do - brix- Jim Bob:- "O.K. Fruitbat, this is die Yes of course this is a good album, ultimately ton academy - £9.50 |i| plan. We release a BEST OF album. A because of the earlier pearls of wisdom compilation of our loudest, proudest 'Bloodsport forAll' , 'Sheriff Fatman' and the like. fiandyfrint:- to avoid i:rr§ o: moments and thai wc take it back to As for the new single 'Bom on the 5th of the kids....do a university tour." November' poignant lyrics, great! 'Sheriff' at half Great idea, one problem. The kids grew up. speed. Hmmm. Irani tjlllmie or ULU t Angst ridden student protagonist become Price - And yes of course we need bands as eloquent as Waterhouse lapdogs, usurped by FreE loving Carter, Billy Brag, Elvis Costello, Crass, 25th of trance hippies whose mothers know more about May etc. but don't expect them to change the the meaning of the word revolution world for you. Oh, I forgot, you don't, do you. The college circuit is no longer a breeding ground Anyone for a job in accounting? (7) gig:levellers + prophets of singles:,! da city - brbrtoru Ilfc " 3.: ///" '3/33. Okay, I'll be the first to admit that they put B::[^'\BB'$3yfi I suppose you could say that Prophets of Da on a good show. They perform newies from \...y'3Wk/33?3$K City are important. Important because they look 'Zeitgeist', oldies from A Weapon called the like being the first ghetto-grown South African word', and middle-aged ones from 'Levellin' the act to make an impact outside their troubled but Land' and 'The Levellers' with zest and an inspir- Iiki a was written in between ever progressing homeland. And yet, live at least, ing passion. No, to me their problem lies in their two nf their A-lnel JJSMVS. Oh their music comes across as startlingly unimpor- stubborn adherence to their pseudo-revolution- 1 well, nobody's perfect tant. The traditional African influences are lost ary ideals. Their new T-sliirts talk about anarchy amidst the standard hip-hop beats and over the and how "anyone who lays their hand upon me wild i uli itir - dmims top rapping, while two mid-stage breakdancers to govern me is a monster, a tyrant, and I declare Inspinngand innovative chart serve to accentuate the frailties of the live perfor- them my enemy", or something. Their songs talk '::X^ih3l'-/3.'':'-- mance rather than adding an interesting visual about non-conformity to the police, to society, to dimension. Still, it's pretty impressive that they anyone but yourself. And yet this show embodies manage to get half of the white, middle class all the best points of a stadium rock show. There '3.//////////////3- teenage crowd shouting, "Ho!", even if the reali- are thousands of people singing and moving to the ty of it is total absurdity. And as for the retarded same songs, expertly co-ordinated lights that 3 '/33/vy;':-- speech about the Criminal Justice Bill and how complement the music, and changes in stage backdrop. Fine, but don't pretend that this is any- "every government in the world is trying to f*** );/;. 3/£33~'' /3 '

thing different. The Levellers are making pots of y with people"- well, I guess that explains what !$3 :^'y' f\ cash singing, "There's only one way of life, and they were doing supporting The Levellers. .. - ... that's your own, that's your own." Tell that to the 4000 'individuals' who were all singing it in uni- Ah yes, The Levellers. Let it be said that I son and choke on the irony. have never liked those veteran crusties. y/:3//«3/\ : 3':'-//"/''/ '"/'' : ///, .///' > . f:':: c V ; ;'" '3/' 333/': x33^'33y ~-' ;.. 3. ...//. <:: . //".. 7/-':3./ //://:://33/' '/' ' . 33.

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This is the kind of film that comes with affirma- stark; warning us that Loach is trying to make a tions like "powerful" and "moving" pasted on to statement. And he certainly does. It's just a it. One man's story of the Spanish Civil War shame that in order to do so the film has been to £6, £3 comes complete with politics and a bit of given such a clumsy plot structure. To bring the romance thrown in for good measure too. And story 'up to date' Loach tells it as the grand- it's not a bad film either. The only problem is the daughter reads the letters that were sent back one that is director Ken Loach's trademark. He's home. a political film-maker and despite the fact that But back to the story. David (Ian Hart) 111 this film is ostensibly about the stifling of the leaves England an unemployed communist If . ' trade union and anarchistic militias by the com- ready to fight fascism. In Spain he joins up with munists, he has to get contemporary as well. a trade union militia, fights in couple of skir- The film starts with ambulance men run- mishes and tries to lie back and forget Blighty. the i ning up a tower block staircase in Liverpool. The And throughout it's the small-scaleness of the camera ignores them, focussing instead on the action which is impressive. The sixteen strong brau*hesrt Irv&H 12 -45, graffiti behind. The NF and BNP slogans are militia use ancient rifles, only throw the odd grenade and survive on a diet of bread and beans. Land and 1 apol (UO, Freedom is no Braveheart. lit Yet their idyll is slowly i'.umttdh inioid | broken by the growing power Hi of international Stalinism. It tube >«"il( kuiln-n^iv gets the militia new rifles but Hi, A* sinJt nts ,mil with them also come uni- forms, discipline and orders. ilpl The dream is over and in the climatic 'final battle scene' the militia are forced to surrender .... . , at gun point by their own side. Back in the Nineties, Ipf iillllllllilly:; David is buried and his grand- daughter gives the workers' the bridges,.. 12.30,3.25, salute like it means something ' ' . ^ ; . ... , now. So does Land and Freedom end, as a good film spoilt by good intentions.

...

11113 film: species* that the audience care about is the way a very 4iiipi three dimensional Natasha Henstriage will leap out of the screen. She, of course, is a megababe for|§ It takes about ten seconds of the opening credits and the only reason for the film's existence. the ju to realise that Species is going to be a distinctly Is-avehcait 12.50,4.30,8.15 second rate Alien(s) rip-offi The plot is sketchy in the extreme - all you'll want to know is lllf /M(J2] ' f[i§J that Henstridge is an super metabolised alien who has a burning desire to reproduce (much to the delight of the male population of LA «MTkigtori 1,3.30,6, §,30 Jf- ' and the audience]. Unfortunately for land £.21%8.45 the 'hit' team sent to hunt her down, her offspring will develop so quickly it will be sexually mature in a matter of days. An obvious problem if it turns out to be male. Still, thankfully lor the mirwnuj 0172 369 2:?23 . :T F audience, our alien is a gorgeous, pouting, 'bonking and killing machine' who takes her clothes off and kills people with monotonous regularity. 1 |irih& And with equal monotony the

1 : : : ,. .. : ,. . ,. . ;.! :^ :: : ; : The first clue is the way the title letters 'hit' team follow a couple of steps behind, talk- come together in backlit luminous green and the ing in hushed and stereotypical cliques. second is the way the name of "Giger - design- So all in all Species is an appalling film with- er" leaps out of the screen. Not that many of the out any redeeming features. I'm sure that it will audience will care in the least. The only thing do very well. ur first port of call was Caracas

Simon Bolivar who liberated the country from Venezuela the Spanish in 1819. As a result, today in the Venezuelan reckoning of the order of things by virtue of the cheap flight that we bought to there comes Almighty God then Simon Bolivar South America. El Iibertador, and then everybody else. Every This is a developed country waiting to happen. settlement from the smallest hamlet to the It has all the resources: from its huge oil largest cities centre around a Plaza Bolivar. It reserves along the tropical Orinoco delta to its was from Ciudad Bolivar that we visited Angel rich supply of mineral deposits present in the Falls, the highest free falling water fall in the temperate cord of the Andes that marks the world at 979m (16 times the height of end of that mountain chain in the west of the Niagara). It is simply amazing. By the time the country. Several factors have conspired to halt water reaches the bottom it is a finespray , its development and in broken up by its own fall, and in the jungle typical South hundreds of metres away you are showered. We toured the country further with the time we had left and it was

American fashion, these include corruption, economic mismanagement (like setting the petrol price at 5pence per gallon) and no doubt a generous helping of meddling from their neighbours on the not so North American continent. much the country Venezuela also has large stretches of that stood out so much as its coasdine on the Caribbean Sea that few people, their customs and people, save the Venezuelans, know quirks. I thought I about - indeed they market themselves to had never met such a foreigners as the Canbbean's best kept secret "\ friendly nation of people - well now you know. Anyway, we weren't (though other South long in heading for these beaches and we soon American countries would prove hen* realised that the tourist board marketing boys similar). For example, you don't ask them weren't far off... actually I think Cadbury's may anything without first saying 'hello' and 'good have filmed the odd Bounty advert here, and day' (a habit that earned me strange looks in by the looks of it they had left some of the shops back home) and sometimes your original leading female parts behind! question is forgotten amidst the ensuing

After a week of these beaches I was a rich conversation. They also make you smile; like if ?it»; VlpfBOiiiii::':! vfe":0 :rr- shade of crimson and I decided that I should they don't allow you on a bus if you are wearing pull myself (and my melanomas) away from it shorts or how they don't sell stamps in a post all in order to investigate the interior of the office, stupid! or how they would rather answer country. We started with a journey down to the you half asked question with a 'Yes' than listen Orinoco and its one bridge in the entire country to the rest of it. at Ciudad Bolivar. This city is named after FRESH HAIR SALON

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STA TRAVEL EIGHTEEN. FELIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1995 DIARY

very friendly to everyone, thought it would as it got dark. The wind dropped as night fell Sailing be rude not to go to talk to a girl from and then the 'Fireflies' came into their own, Bradford Uni. After making his move, 13 sailing well up to their handicap. Those that The exams were finally over and the Sailing unsubtle comments were shouted across the weren't sailing took advantage of the Barbie Club were frantically trying to lose their room as he was chatting to her, causing him and disco. hangovers before going to the International to make a sharp exit! The night shift was a nightmare! Getting 24hr Race in Coleraine, N. Ireland. The club It was 12pm Saturday morning as the woken up at 2am to be told that you have to have participated in the oldest 24hr race, Rude Boys crossed the start line in a vacate your lovely warm sleeping bag for the since it's inception. reasonable position for Team "Ex-Girlfriend" cold water was tough. However, James and After the crossing we had time to see the only to ground on a sand bank shortly after. Tony took some beers with them and jumped sights. First up was a visit to the Giants They managed to extricate themselves from into the Team "Ex-Girlfriend" boat. Causeway followed by a visit to the Old this nasty situation only to find everyone else Martin, Alan and Paul all put in sterling Bushmill Distillery. Tony had spent months on the horizon. Never mind 23 hours 50 performances for the same team with no big preparing for this moment by reading the minutes to go! upsets. The final shift was sailed by Chris and 'Bluffers Guide to James and they were Whiskey'. Paul used ! the second boat over an alternative meth- I the line, finishing to od to become a , a standing ovation. connoisseur by After the handicap sampling all the adjustment, Team whiskies, too many " Ex- G ir 1 f rie nd " times each! ended the race in a About 24 hours respectable 6th after leaving IC we place. Ben collected arrived at Coleraine a decent trophy for Yacht Club to be jKt Team "Old Farts". greeted by the I Team "Ex-Girl- exceeding friend" got nice hospitable members pens as consolation who gave us food prizes. and served us real Ben Chromedome Guinness! Much drink flowed and James was James and Sarah swapped with the Rude and some fellow Team "Ex-Girlfriend" under great pressure to start the Karaoke off, Boys after a few hours. Sarah, never having members went for a breath of fresh air on which he did after Chris and Ben, to form, by stepped in a dinghy before, soon worked out deck on the ferry and they were rewarded all accounts, an appaling trio. James couldn't what bit of string to pull and when to pull it with the sight of a seagull dumping right on focus on the words, Ben couldn't sing and and all was going well until James capsized. Ben's advancing forehead. Laugh? We nearly Chris turned the microphone off! We Sarah coped admirably well but the deck of cried! finalised team names with the old boys the boat was still an inch under the water The cost of all this fun? A tenner. You deciding on Team "Old Farts" but the young after righting. The next leg of the race was want to come next year, you fancy learning to upstarts were much more original with Team spent bailing out as fast as possible to avoid sail or just want to take a boat out? Find us in "That's what my ex-girlfriend used to say." becoming a submarine! Southside Upper Lounge every Tuesday The drinking continued well into the The results were posted hourly and lunchtime or e-mail: [email protected]! (You night until the Commodore-elect, having Team "Ex-Girlfriend" were around 7th while could be just in time for a quality bar and been voted in on the basis that he would be Team "Old Farts" were a place or two higher disco night!) oct 14th oct 15 th the OpSoc Freshers' Event Y.H.A. Freshers' Walk The Triumph of the Scarlet Pimpernel Meet 9am South Ken tube station. 9am Rehearsals. All welcome. Walk around the South Downs. week Rag Alternatively Monopoly around London Sleep off your hangover all morning. 10am Beit Quad 3pm Get up and make bacon sandwiches. ahead Teams of four - six. Yum Yum. Saturday sunday FELIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1995 . NINETEEN DIARY monday tuesday wednes

ArtSoc Conservative Society Conservative Society 12.30pm Union Dining Hall Debate on the future of Conservatism Bernard Jenkins M.P. d Regular meeting. Come and sign up for the lpm Mech Eng 748 lpm Mech Eng 748 many trips to musicals, plays, ballet, opera, etc. Photographic Society Photographic Society a lpm Southside lounge. 2pm Darkroom lessons. C & G Motor Club Freshers' buffet. Gliding Club Rollerblade Society Regular meeting 12:15pm Southside Upper Lounge y 7.3()pm Ents Lounge Free beer and scalextrics. lpm Aero 266, contact [email protected] Meeting followed by Hockey in Hyde park (weather dependent). OpSoc Perform IQ The Triumph of the Scarlet Pimpernel Regular meeting Wargames & Roleplaying 8.00pm Union Concert Hall 7.30pm Brown Committee Room Society After show party. (see below) lpm Table Tennis Room oct 16 th oct 17th I oct 18th of us gather. So if at all interested come along and join in! Now, you might think, IQ Spanish Society "But I don't speak Spanish and I might feel a bit out of place... well come to our first For students who are gay, lesbian or bisexual 'The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.' Fiesta this year, on Saturday 21st, 8.30pm, this is an exciting time of change, chances Well, here in the Imperial College Spanish Ents lounge for £2.50. There will be lots of and opportunities. Society we hispanophiles discuss many other Sangria. For more information, drop us a But you have to be able to pluck up things: from where to get the cheapest note in our pigeon hole in the union or courage and use those opportunities. If you 'chorizo' in London to the Spanish football contact Takeshi Martinez, physics UG 3 are a gay student in London you have a lot league - usually at our regular meetings but ([email protected]) going for you, but there are people who find really anywhere where a large enough group it hard to come to terms with their feelings, and who worry about how the world will MON 16th - Live big screen football from view them. This is "coming out" and it takes Ents Standing Room Only, with Wimbledon v courage, strength and time. West Ham. So if you are gay or lesbian, and trying to Well, that's us just about recovered from the TUES 17th - Use your brains to outwit our come out, then now that you have arrived excesses of Freshers Week, & here we are resident quizmaster, Dan, & win yourself a here, you have an opportunity to take full ready to tell you all about the week ahead. crate of beer in the process. Watch out for advantage of all that the capital has to offer TONIGHT.. the special prizes. to the gay man or lesbian. There are plenty The first of our "BUST-A-GUT" Comedy WEDS. 18th - Dance away the midweek of people around who want to help you turn season, & we promise there'll be enough blues or celebrate your sporting successes your three years into a period of excitement chairs to go round this time. Kicking off this with "FROLIK"- a night of bouncy sounds for and discovery! Just take a walk around Soho year's season are John Fothergill, & the off party people. Best of all it's a bit of an OJ- on a Saturday night for example, and you beat genius of Sean Lock, a cult comic in the totally free but not entirely innocent. will see hundreds of liberated, free people. making. Due to problems with our sponsors THURS 19th - Get slinky & sophisticated at No-one pretends that there won't be we can't offer the 1st 50 in a free bottle of the best value Cocktail Night in London, & some people who aren't on our side, but you Newcastle Brown, but to make up for it they it's right on your doorstep. Watch out for shouldn't let them stop you from enjoying can have a T-shirt instead, 'cos we love you weekly specials, & if you just want to pose yourself and meeting people. so much. Doors open at 8pm, & tickets are there are non-alcoholic cocktails available. FRI 20th - I'd try & get used to this - the What is important is that you take £2.50 or £2 if with an Entscard. promised chart dance & handbag night has control oi your own life and make your own Of course, if you just want to dance the night been replaced with "Pop Tarts" - a night of decisions. London Lesbian and Gay away you can start your weekend with a mainstream indie & student pop classics, Switchboard on 0171 837 7324 where they "Climax", with a bar 'til lam, & sounds 'til with a very special guest appearance from have details of pubs, clubs and groups where 2am. Free if you're here before 9pm, or if one of London's top bands "MY LIFE you can meet al kinds of gay people. Another you've got an Entscard. STORY". For those of you not au fait with good contact is IQ - Imperial Queers - the SUN 15th - Spend the day chilling out. the Melody Maker faves, we're talking a 10 society for gay men, lesbians and bisexuals. DaVinci's opens at lpm & you can get a top piece Britpop extravaganza, that are sex on a It meets every Tuesday at 7:30 in the Brown quality Sunday Dinner for £3. Then watch stick live. Since they normally play to 600 Committee room, ICU. Sheff. Weds, v Middlesboro' on the big people in London, this is a very special show, Contact IQ at [email protected] screen, & spend the evening enjoying the & guaranteed to sell out at just £1 a ticket! or http://pink.doc.ic.ac.uk/IC/. Powder Keg Real Ale Festival. Investment Banking Careers

j How does outstanding talent stand out? It's all in the presentation.

Gl-pbal investment banking is an increasingly complex business. A business in which only the most highly motivated and intellectually gifted individuals will succeed. NatWest Markets, the corporate and investment banking arm of NatWest Group, is one of the largest and best capitalised international banks — with over 5,900 staff in 22 countries and total assets exceeding £76 billion. We recruit the most outstanding graduates and we make the most of their exceptional talents. We believe that our Graduate Training and Development Programmes are truly world class.Tailored to match the strengths and ambitions of the individual, these programmes are geared towards careers in the following areas: Investment Banking Equity Securities Corporate Finance Investment Management Banking & Specialised Finance Trading Risk Ventures Credit Risk Capital Markets IT Treasury I Operations

If you believe you have the outstanding ability our business demands, we MM WMrMt look forward to meeting you at our presentation at: NWA 5ir -——»M The Board Room, Level 11, NatWest Markets, 135 Bishopsgate, NATWEST MARKETS London EC2M 3UR onThursday 19th October at 6.30pm. Corporate ^Investment Banking Please book in advance with the Careers Service to secure your place.

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Careers Survey 1996 Next diary oct 19th High Fliers Research Limited is conducting a deadline: survey, sponsored by The Independent, of 25 universities around the United Kingdom Yacht Club noon, to evaluate the graduate recruitment Regular meeting programs of major companies. We are lpm Phys LT 2 October16th looking for a manager to organise and coordinate our activities in Imperial Conservative Society College. The position lasts from October to Regular meeting late March, and the performance of its lpm Southside Upper Lounge duties should take no more than one day a oct 20th week. The salary for this position is £800 Lord Archer (£400 in the autumn and £400 in the 6pm Tory HQ spring). Rag Meeting If interested, please send CV and cover IC Youth Hostel Association Regular meeting letter to High Fliers Research Ltd, PO Box Regular Meeting 1.10pm Ents Lounge 442, Cambridge CB3 9EQ or fax them on t lpm Southside Upper Lounge. 01233 575 431 by 16th October 1995. Pop Tarts Mountaineering Club A night of mainstream indie & student pop h 7pm Southside Upper Lounge. classics, featuring "MY LIFE STORY" Cheap Washing Regular social meeting, ICU - £1 a ticket u all welcome! (see ents guide on page 19) Machine Wanted Help! I'm drowning under a pile of stinking laundry! Rescue me with your washing rsday f r i d a y machine. Contact Jeremy at the Felix office or on 0171 820 3574. DIARY FELIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1995 . TWENTY-ONE

fist, and although we spent a week moving babes on the beach. Caving Club and splitting boulders and chipping away at Back at camp, we got down to pushing bedrock with hammers and chisels, the the leads. 'Torn T' is a difficult cave to push. After twenty four hours of solid driving down entrances kept chocking with rubble. To our It starts with a tight entrance rift, then a long to Slovenia we were about ready to stretch disappointment all our digging efforts came to tight rift with difficult navigation, involving our legs a little by climbing up a mountain. It nothing. tricky free climbs. Tackle bags of rope and took several days to transport all our In the meantime though there had been tools often needed to be passed forward, and equipment and most of our food for six weeks some success. Four caves on the edge of the equipment frequently got caught on cave up to 1500m and all the essential items for a mountain had started to show real promise, walls. It takes about three hours to get this comfortable base and safe caving on a plateau including one called 'Julians Panties'. A far, and with many hours of chiselling and at 1800m. Then the real work could begin. chilling breeze draughting from its bolting, one of the thinner among us was able The purpose of the expedition was to entrance lead us to believe that the void plop through the 'Otimisqueeze' and find, explore and survey new caves. Our camp beyond had huge volume, anc explore further. was located on the Migovec plateau, a odds were 10 to 1 that is w On the way out we swang over wilderness of broken limestone, shake holes over 1000m deep! onto a ledge, and were delighted and dwarf pine. The area has, in theory, one Another cave aptly with the find. It was a of the best potentials for depth of caves in known as 'Torn T horizontal dry gallery Europe, yet the local caving club JSPDT had had been explor covered with black insufficient human resources to give it the and surveyed to a boulders under attention it deserved. With close support depth of 80r which there was from JSPDT, Imperial College Cavers moved during sand. In in, this year a team of approximately ten Slovenia ' places there people with a range of caving experience. '94 and was was fresh We started by going head first, bottoms thought too running water up into every promising entrance we tight to continue d scores of ways stumbled across and then marking them for deeper. Two pus to explore - great avens future exploration. There were literally revealed a p in the ceiling and pitches in hundreds of potential caves. The plateau, vertical shaft and e floor. It was the ideal roughly 1 x Vi km in size, was heavily pitted impassibly tight pitch place for an underground camp. with shakeholes, tunnels and shafts, large and from which a thrown rock would After a trip to Postonia, we set up small (but generally tight and sharp). Even bounce around for seconds below e camp where three of us explored working in small teams this took several days Time was passing, and after three the gallery area to emerge late next day. and a sacrifice of shredding t-shirts for the weeks of work on the mountain, wholemeal We had found a huge void, a stone dropped cause. We had some hints as to which chappattis, bean curry and loose stools, our from which took four seconds to hit the floor. entrances were likely to lead into a cave caving clothing was in tatters. Unlike We rejoiced! After putting in a number of system. Four club members had visited the Yorkshire caves which are smooth from water bolts we hit the end of the rope. We plateau when it had laid under several metres and decades of human impact, Slovenian connected two more ropes to the end and of snow. They had fallen down, marked and caves are generally tight and sharp. Although descended but were still dangling in free recorded the coordinates of more than 50 our minds were strong and our enthusiasm space. Believing the floor to be another 15m snow chimneys which allowed the cave below was high, our bodies were weak. A weekly down, we attached another rope. It wasn't to 'breathe'. Finding the small splodges of treck was made down the mountain for a enough, the end hung about 20m from the paint, however, in this limestone jungle was much needed wash and a group headed off for floor! This was our last rope and our last day no easy task. Those breathing holes that were a weekend in Trieste, Italy, to the nearest of caving... relocated turned out to be no bigger than a caving supplier and to find a whole load of We'll be back next year!

Stop Smoking Group LT 213) at 1 - 1.50pm. The Friends of IC Tuesday 17th October: "The First The next Stop Smoking group will start on Interview" by Peter Johnston, Manager Present a repeat of "Camels, Horses and Wednesday 8th November at 12:15pm. each Human Resources at Mobil Oil Company. Committees: How are design and function meeting will last for an hour and there will Thursday 19th October: "Environmental related?" by Professor Robert Schroter (of be 4 more weekly meetings, making 5 Careers" by Professor Nigel bell of ICCET. Biological Mechanics in the Centre for altogether. The groups are often small, All students are welcome to attend. No need Biological and Medical Systems). This maximum 10 people, and are open to all to book - just turn up. lecture focuses mainly on the problems faced students and staff of IC. "Make your Application Succeed - how to by animals coping with extremes of climatic For further details contact Margaret deal with application forms" is an Interactive heat. He will also report on his recent work Reddoch on extension 49393 / 49375. Workshop run on Wednesday 18th October in Atlanta and Badminton, on stress and from 2 - 4pm in Huxley Room 344. Sign up climatic effects on supreme athletes taking in the Careers Office. part in the forthcoming Olympic Games. Careers Information For information and advice come to the Students and Staff are invited to attend this There are two Careers Talks this coming Careers Office, Room 310 Sherfield - open free lecture on 17th October, 6:30pm in the week in the Clore Lecture Theatre (Huxley from 10am to 5:15pm Monday to Friday. Clore Lecture Theatre, Huxley Building. TWENTY-TWO . FELIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1 995 LETTERS

LETTERS TO FELIX: REPLIED TO THIS WEEK BY JEREMY

morale. Irrational FELIX or Barmy Bayley? will remain Take heed, Mr Foster. A bad a place for workman always blames his tools. Dear Editor, ry objective is to consider the rationally and impartially dis- Yours faithfully, We are writing to express majority of the students - but cussing the 'issues of the day'. fear over the apparent direction not necessarily by agreeing with The thought that ConSoc, with The overpaid &i constantly that journalism at Felix seems to them. But I am worried that all its inherent prejudices and holidaying catering staff. be taking. We refer to your your idea of impartiality seems party dogma, could be a refuge response to a letter in Felix 1035. to suggest we shrink from for such discussion is frightening. I've been on caterers' wages Whilst we do not subscribe to the addressing highly important It is with some trepidation myself: they were the lowest. views of ConSoc, Ian Bayley issues, even if people write to us that I find myself agreeing with There must be something appears to be terrifyingly correct about them. The editor's replies Mr Bayley on the fact that Mr awry with the management if in saying "Felix is no place for to letters are an opinion section. Murdoch does wield enormous they can make such hopeless rationally discussing issues of the Oh, and there's always the IC unchallenged power. I would losses even with underpaid staff day - Hence the need for our Reporter. question the background to his and a captive market. society." The concern is that fear - perhaps the fact that Mr Imperial could be losing its only Dear Rachel Murdoch's titles seem to be eas- source of impartial information Having read last week's Felix ing themselves towards support- To all IC into the abyss of sensationalist, (from cover to cover obviously!) I ing the Labour Party might have politically biased journalism. came across the somewhat petu- more to do with his views, than Your reply of "What gave you the lant letter by the ever reactionary any antipathy to the idea of the International idea that Felix is politically neu- Ian Bayley. His lecture of misin- abuse of power without the nec- tral" implies that it no longer is. formed nonsense could not, I essary scrutiny. Is this your view alone or the felt, be allowed to stand without Finally, could I point out Students view of Felix generally? Felix is a full questioning of the author's that rather than hindering the most widely read and the own version of logic. ConSoc, your reporter's article Now that you've all more or only serious, impartial source of The initial reaction on read- and the fact that you were pre- less settled down, it's time to get news in College. This impartiality ing his letter is that a small article pared to print their reply, have you informed about what the now appear under threat. As in the 'news in brief column done little damage to the society OSC is and what it does to keep there is no alternative to Felix it could not quite be described as a - as few other groups have been you happy. OSC or "Overseas should be impartial. To reject 'voracious campaign' or 'hysteria' the topic of conversation within Students Committee" deals with Felix is to starve oneself of col- as Mr Bayley so delicately puts it. one week of the start of term. all the international students of lege news. Some might suggest that it could Imperial College (EC and Undoubtedly, views should be the ConSoc chair who is trying Name retained. Occasional students included). be expressed, but its place should to hype the issue in an attempt to The OSC is a Major Subcommittee of Imperial be in editorial and opinion gain publicity with a new band of Exactly. College Union and deals with the columns. Our chief worry is news freshers - but then I couldn't pos- 37% of the student population reporting will be affected by sibly suggest that he would be so that is of non-British origin. what appears to be Felix's new mercenary. Imperial College is one of the policy. As far as I can remember Food Fight? most multicultural academic Please do not turn the news from the original small article, institutions in the world . OSC is pages of Felix into an arena for your newspaper was not even Dear Sir/Madam the umbrella committee for the political mudslingmg. suggesting that Mr Murdoch The rank and file staff in the foreign student societies, which Yours sincerely, should be defended, merely Catering department are out- currently number 24. The OSC pointing out that ICU could be raged at the insulting comments organises events such as food Sam Asfaw, Chem II laying themselves open to legal made by John Foster, Catering fairs, International week, discos James Fox, CivEng II action by allowing such articles to Manager. and inter-society sporting events. Alan Mole, Aero II appear in their web pages. Who exactly are the staff It also organises international Faisal Nazir, Physics II Whatever Mr Bayley may say, the who "currently enjoy high wages night. This is the largest event of Web pages still come under the and long holidays"? It is a fact Imperial College that occurs in Union's control and as far as I am that those employed in the cater- Please be. assured that our the second term and attracts aware , he has not yet been ing industry are poorly paid. news pages will remain as high more than a thousand spectators declared an expert on the legali- If the sickness rate among quality as we can manage, and every year. It includes cultural ties of the Web page liability. staff is high, surely he needs to free from spin. This is how it shows and displays of various address this issue, and perhaps works - we are funded by the I do hope that although you countries, food fairs, disco, live improve working conditions. Union, but we arc free to say state that, while taking a line on bands and more fun than you There is no doubt that such crass what we want, hence the 'Keep certain issues, i.e. not being com- could possibly imagine. Felix Free' business. Our prima- pletely politically 'neutral', your comments do little to improve EDITORIAL FELIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1995 . TWENTY-THREE

OSC also takes an active part in all Union decisions, pro- THE tects and promotes the interests FELIX of international students in the FOUNDED 1 949 College and finances the run- PRODUCED FOR AND ON BEHALF OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION ning of all the individual nation- F PUBLICATIONS BOARD al societies. ELIX PRINTED BY THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION PRINT UNIT Naturally, all this takes a BEIT QUAD PRINCE CONSORT ROAD LONDON SW7 2BB lot of work, and many more TELEPHONE/FAX 0171 594 8072 people than just the members WEEK EDITOR RACHEL WALTERS of the executive committee PRINTERS ANDY THOMPSON AND JEREMY take part voluntarily. the indispensable BUSINESS MANAGER JULIETTE DECOCK The executive committee guide for Felix ADVERTISING MANAGER WEI LEE has one post empty from last term's elections. There is also a contributors and new post being created. So, the helpers Well, it's been enlightening, lege of ours that make Beavis and two posts available to fill are:- my first freshers' week. Yes, I Butthead look like epigrammatic Honorary Junior Treasurer (to know I was meant to go to it sophisticates. There are people work along side current treasur- when I started University, but who would make you want to er) : financial control of the monday, high noon somehow it never really quite sprint out and buy a gallon of OSC, budgeting of events, bud- happened. And by the time I had emulsion merely so you could gets of the overseas societies, clubs & societies been here a year I didn't have a slap it on a wall and watch it dry adviser to the Chair. Honourary particularly large desire to rather than engage in a millisec- Secretary : organises meetings, explore Imperial's Students ond's conversation. But that's is in charge of passing informa- articles deadline Union in all its glory. So it's been not the real problem. Oh no. tion to and from the overseas a learning experience for me too, To appreciate Imperial societies, event organising, monday 1:20pm listening to all the first years' dis- College Union at it's finest you minute keeping and other cuss the new experience with have to be sitting in an office duties. Both of the above posts enthusiasm, while those later on round the back of the entertain- require a fair amount of dedica- reviewers' degrade it all with cynicism. ment's lounge editing news sto- tion. The duties are flexible and Sitting over a coffee in the ries on a Wednesday night. And all of the people in the execu- meeting JCR, and one of them sums it all while the heavily laden bass tive committee share jobs and up: "The union's crap". And no- makes the teaspoons rattle on cooperate. one has any doubt what he's try- the sink you have to ask yourself The elections will be held monday 6pm ing to say. It's not "I tried to get WHY they are playing the remix on Wednesday 18th October in some legal advice and found the of the Bee Gee's 'Staying Alive' Mech Eng L.T. 220 at 13:00. letters deadline support unforthcoming." Nor is AGAIN. There must be a reason. Anyone can stand, fresher to it "I tried to hire out a minibus Surely. Why, every time, is it the postgraduate, as long as they and couldn't." tackiest of dance music, with have a proposer and a seconder. monday 6pm Imperial College Union is 'Parklife' as the penultimate Each proposer will have the judged on Wednesday and Friday song? right to speak for three minutes news meeting nights. And if you don't have a I have yet to meet anyone and each candidate will be able riotous evening, then clearly who does anything other than to give a give a short speech for "The union is shite." pour scorn on the music they a maximum of five minutes. Wednesday lpm At first I thought it was the play here, and that includes the Please turn up on the day and people. Maybe no-one's getting ents manager. have with you your swipe card features meeting the stimulating conversation This does not seem to make (or other form of college ID). they crave. And let's face it, a great deal of sense. It is essential that every for- there are individuals at this col- eign student comes at least to thursday night vote, because the wrong people EDITORIAL TEAM: to take the decisions for you... collating NEWS: ALEX FEAKES AND JEREMY CLARKE MUSIC: VIK BANSAL Gaurav Misra,OSC Chair PHOTOGRAPHY: IVAN CHAN AND DIANA HARRISON friday morning SCIENCE: BEN WILKINS Letters may be com- jii: JEREMY EVERYTHING ELSE: MARK BAKER mented on by a guest another Felix editor whose opinions COLLATING LAST WEEK: are not necessarily hits the street... MARK BAKER, TIM STCLAIR, JEREMY those of the editor. DELIVERING: Deadline: Mon 6pm CHRIS INCE SPORT TWENTY-FOUR. FELIX FRIIDAY OCTOBER 1 3TH 1995

Parking Permits Hockey and Rugby Provide These are the vehicles allocated Student Parking Permits. Permits can be collected from Monday 16th October onwards Embarrassment Against Brunei from the Union Office, 1st Floor, Union Building, Beit Quad. You must bring with you your Union Card or Swipe Card, proof The first major set of fixtures for the year saw IC's hockey and rugby of address and a medical certificate if necessary. A £5.00 deposit teams comprehensively humiliated in matches against Brunei, with only will be required. the ladies' hockey 2nds' pulling off a victory. "We were robbed," claimed Rachel Curran, speaking of the hockey ladies lst's defeat. F215 NBL K965 YPD C932 NRD L616 JPB RPL 857X, Tim Townend, Deputy President (Clubs and Societies), described the JOHN BOYLDON, HVA 132, K68 BWD, E566 PEC, D790 rugby performance as 'embarrassing', declaring that it was quite a relief to NUB, M299MOK, Ml95 GAC, STEPHEN PEEE, G939 WLN, leave the field to spend the rest of the day in hospital with the 2nd row and N257 JGH, D808 KUB, YVONNE THOM, LGP 662P, D360 flanker who had a broken cheekbone and misplaced a kneecap. Clearly it JMC, F463 RHY, F597 RPJ, K799 EYY, EBE-TZ-73, J787 KKO, was a successful afternoon, boys. G594TYF, M440 EYV, H335 TGJ, CHARLOTTE CHAPMAN, E740 WGP, D596 EHP, MSH2 XFL, SPU 280W, C940 LEW, RESULTS H46 JTF, D683 MKX, D771 TWM, B498 BGN, F729 STW, L866 XLF, E356 JLM, H679 JPG, MIL 261V, G247 WLH, HOCKEY VS BRUNEL: M335 CFB, E608 VTH, G939 BUS, D56 HHV, F695 LBW* , 0-4 MEN'S 1ST F306 CTX*, E558 KLX, F179 LPM, E103 TEX, J462 MCW*, MEN'S 2ND 1 -3 G462 MGN*, F921 JVU, A618 NTT, E358 CKX, JASON CHE- MEN'S 3 RD 1 - 6 UNG, PE 5320, K32 OGA, H423 EMJ, G43 UAV\ H41 BMK

LADIES 1ST 2-3 * Must produce a medical certificate. LADIES 2ND 4-0 Applications from the Clayponds Estate have been referred back to the Warden. If you were not successful in your applica- RUGBY VS BRUNEL: tion, you may appeal against the decision. A form will be available MEN'S 1ST 7-35 from Monday for you to add any additional information that you fell is relevant. Please note though that since the majority of per- MEN'S 2ND 5-31 mits are now allocated, the number left for appeals is small. The MEN'S 3RD 10-10 appeals committee's decision will be final. Free Cinema Tickets! Did you know that our screen is wider than at all the local commercial cinemas? FilmSoc has the cheapest tickets in London and all the [free film for freshers at filmsoc best films, shown to Produce this voucher at any FilmSoc showing in exchange for free admission. Fill in your name and professional standard in Dolby department below for a chance to win £100 of STA Stereo on a 10m wide screen, Travel gift vouchers! and alcoholic drinks from the name dept bar are welcome. Terms and conditions 1. Offer only open to first year students (bring your union card). Why go anywhere else? 2. Offer ends 31st October 1995. 3. Voucher only valid at FilmSoc shows. 4. Only one voucher per person. Normal ticket price £2. 5. Seats not bookable in advance with this voucher. STA TRAVEL 6. See other publicity for show dates and times.