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Home , Anguirus, Clover (creature), Edie Brickell, Godzilla Street, Jack Osbourne, Jessica Lucas

5.16.14 2D FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 2D

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editor’s note 205.com o I fi nally decided to like when he attacked by leaping feet fi rst, hang- CONTACT US ing in the air for literally three full seconds, bloated tailpiece scarring the ground, stunt- S ed face staring meaninglessly up at studio lights, until his Payless-slippers booties impact IN EVERY ISSUE Address with a poof onto Megalon’s guy-in-a-rubber-suit suit. 315 28th Ave. Godzilla seems to be taking a nap as he soars, and who can blame him? Who knows how TUSK TUNES 4 Tuscaloosa, AL 35401 long it took bored techies to successfully tow his wire harness, prone and thoroughly FOR 6 or P.O. Box 20587 not ready to kung-fu fi ght, across that blasted desertscape? MOVIES 7 Tuscaloosa, AL 35402-0587 This crushed so many laws of physics that Albert Einstein came back to life enraged and COVER STORY 8 50 feet tall, took one look, shook his furry head, and slowly walked off to drown in the Pa- CALENDAR 12 Hours CROSSWORD 14 Mon.-Fri., 8 a.m.-5 p.m. cifi c. Or Did He? SUDOKU 14 VIDEO GAMES 15 By phone Whenever folks want to deride Hollywood for silliness, I remind them that while Steve Mc- 205-345-0505 Queen was quick-freezing “The Blob” — Or Did He? — in Tokyo the response to the popular- ity of T-Rex-like Gojira was a great honking raging turtle. Online In addition to Daiei Motion Picture company’s , Gojira spun off a carnival of mon- MOVIE REVIEW www.tusk205.com sters, including, but not limited to, , , , , Jet Jaguar, Varan, Gorosaurus, , Zone Fighter, Baragon, , , , Moguera, To a d v e r t i s e Fire Rodan, Mothra Leo, Medical Jet Jaguar, Fire Fighter Jet Jaguar .... For advertising information, Meanwhile, in the U.S., we had to settle for a hot 50-foot tall woman in strategically ripped please call 205-722-0166 clothing, because hey, big and tall stores only stretch so far. Ask Hulk; those purple sweats last no time. Tusk Editor If anything, western movie monsters tend toward the modest, if you discount Tolkien-esque Mark Hughes Cobb ’s dragons, trolls, oliphaunts and so on. Frankenstein’s monster was a gigantic man 205-722-0201 — or concoction of parts of men — in Shelley’s novel 8 feet tall, and in some fi lm editions as [email protected] much as 9 feet. Bruce the great white shark in “Jaws,” at 25 feet and 3 tons, was quite siz- able. Tusk Designer But actual great whites have been said to reach between 21 and 26 feet. And the world’s Keli Goodson tallest man, Robert Wadlow, reached 8 feet, 11.1 inches, according to Guinness. 205-722-0219 In 1980’s “Alligator,” we got, umm, a hulking alligator, 36 feet long, in a script by indie legend John Sayles. That’s more like it, as the largest alligator recorded tipped about 20 Chief Photographer feet. Semi-related is the 1999 comedy-horror fl ick “Lake Placid,” with a 30-foot croco- Robert Sutton dile . [email protected] Speaking of American, how about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, also getting a polish this 205-722-0234 summer (Aug. 8, produced by, speaking of gross horrors, Michael Bay), who stand up to, oh, human size? Well, a leatherback sea turtle, properly mutated to stand, could dwarf those Publication Data dudes. The largest Dermochelys coriacea was measured at 9.8 feet from head to tail, with a Tusk is published each Friday by carapace of 7.2 feet. The Tuscaloosa News. Perhaps the future lies in blending the best of all monster cultures. Producer-director J.J. 7D Abrams created his 2008 “Cloverfi eld” as a new American creature, not Kong, to compete Copyright with a Godzilla toy his son coveted. USA! “MILLION DOLLAR All rights for the content of this stood 25 stories high, with slick, not scaly, skin, covered in dog-sized parasites — ARM” publication shall be the property the better to show creature-human interaction, as mites fell off and leapt onto folks. He didn’t of Tusk. No part hereof may be breathe fi re, but behaved like a cross between a gargantuan elephant/crustacean/, a There’s nothing reproduced without prior quadruped who nonetheless stood on hind legs for periods. He either fell from space, or arose surprising about this written consent. from a thousands-of-years slumber on the ocean depths after the plunge of a satellite. And it charming fi lm, was also a newborn baby, explaining the confusion and rage, and setting up terrifying pos- but that’s OK. Corrections policy sibilities for a sequel when Mama comes looking for Junior, nuked in what used to be Manhat- Tusk welcomes comments and sug- tan. ON THE COVER gestions, as well as information Last year’s “Pacifi c Rim” pitted giant robots manned by human teams to battle-stomp in- about errors that call for corrections. terdimensional invaders, in the form of giant -like monsters. Next time, blend in ninjas, Godzilla’s 60th anniver- wizards, pirates, Jedi, Scarlett Johannson, dragons, swords, lightsabers and -Betty- sary is being celebrated Submitting news White, and you’re on to something big. with a brand new big- In most cases, email is the easiest budget American fi lm. method to contact us. Items should be sent to the editor in charge of the See our coverages on appropriate section, as listed above. pages 8-11D.

COVER ILLUSTRATION BY ANTHONY BRATINA FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 3D

THESE TWO JUST GO TOGETHER Check out BBQ & Blues Saturday at the THINGS Historic L&N Station. The event bene- fi ts the DCH Foundation and features food and blues along with a silent auc- TO DO tion. Visit pages 12-13D for details. COMPILED BY TUSK STAFF HEAD OUT WITH FIDO 5 Tuscaloosa Bark in the Park is Satur- day at the Will May Memorial Dog BUY VEGGIES Park. Learn more on pages 12-13D. The Home- grown Alabama Farmers Market sets up shop in its usual spot WANT A NIGHT OUT? Thursday from Check out our Things to Do calendar 3-6 p.m. See on pages 12-13D. It’s loaded with CELEBRATE WITH THEATER where on local and regional events of the bar- Saturday, Theatre Tuscaloosa is hosting pages 12- crawing, music-loving and even a one-night-only show for its 15th anni- 13D. family-oriented varieties. versary. See more on pages 12-13D. LOCALQ&A Jill Price Parsons: Theater and amphitheater manager

By Mark Hughes Cobb graduated from UA with a degree in football and in the arts. It is a beautiful Tusk Editor theater, with an emphasis on theater town. management. I made many connec- his week, meet Jill Price Par- tions while there, and that is how I Where are the top places you sons, who helps run big houses have been employed over the years. Q: take visitors and why? T in Tuscaloosa and Birmingham; The Tuscaloosa Amphitheater big houses like the Tuscaloosa Am- Where are you from? A: for concerts, Bryant-Denny phitheater and Red Mountain Theatre Q: Stadium for the excitement and a Company, providing art and enter- This is a difficult question to shaker, Tuscaloosa River Market for tainment for the masses, that is. She’s A: answer. I went to University the farmers’ market, Dirt Cheap for also been seen on University of Ala- Place Elementary School and moved shopping, Taco Casa/Krispy Kreme bama and Theatre Tuscaloosa stages, to California. Graduated from high for eating. in shows such as “Rumors,” “Christ- school in South Carolina, and moved mas Belles” and “Crimes of the back to Tuscaloosa as an adult. Tus- What are your favorite places to Heart.” caloosa was always home to me. I al- Q: eat? What do you order or sug- ways wanted to graduate from UA and gest ordering? Who are you? I finally made it happen. Even though DePalmas, Pasta de Palma; Q: I work in Birmingham every day, I A: Hooligans, Chicken Gyro com- Jill Price Parsons. continue to live in T-town. It is bo with unsweet tea; Don Tonos, A: FILE PHOTO home. Bama Bowl; Surin, Kaboom Maki su- What do you do? Jill Price Parsons works for the shi. Q: Tuscaloosa Amphitheater and Red What do you tell people or House Manager at the Tusca- Mountain Theatre Company, along Q: friends who’ve never been here What are some of the best hang- A: loosa Amphitheatre and Box with other theater-related projects. about living in Tuscaloosa? Q: out locations around town? Office Manager at Red Mountain I tell them, Saturdays in the fall The Alcove International Tav- Theatre Company in Birmingham. As A: is like waking up on Christmas A: ern. the house manager at the Amphithe- service is number one in my book. As morning ... every Saturday. Although I ater, I am in charge of hiring, training the box office manager at RMTC, I am a theater connoisseur, I absolutely What are some of your favorite and managing all the event staff. Pa- am in charge of ticketing, season sub- love football and Tuscaloosa could not Q: local activities? SEE LOCAL | 5D tron experience/safety and customer scribers and the patron experience. I be more perfect of a town. It is rich in 4D FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM TUSKTUNES

MEET THE BAND: Ham Bagby

B y M a r k H u g h e s C o b b Tusk Editor

his week meet Ham Bagby — like you didn’t know him already — and T The Siege. Even if you’re not famil- iar with him under various incarnations, you probably know Ham. He’s that lanky dude with the facial hair and the big smile, running open-mic nights, sitting in with bands from the original Blaine Duncan and The Lookers to the Ne’er Do Wells. Such a big, friendly man deserves big, friendly music, and his is about as interestingly eclectic as you’ll fi nd, in- cluding oddball covers few others bother with — “Walking on Sunshine” or Christina Aguilera — and originals that “range from mildly serious to ab- solutely absurd in content, and I like to pretend that people like it (although I honestly don’t pay attention to such things).” And expect guitar solos. Lots and lots of guitar solos “I think the guitar solos are where it’s at. I suffer from having learned a lot of really big and crazy guitar stuff in my younger years, so I try to fi t all of it into my sets to validate those chops. I’d hate to think it was all a waste of time.” Les Nuby from Vulture Whale once told Bagby he sounded like “Waylon Jen- nings meets ’80s rock.” Decide for yourself next weekend when Egan’s hosts its annual Ham Ham Jam Jam, celebrating not only Bagby his own self, but many of his friends and fel- STAFF FILE PHOTO low travelers in the rock ’n’ roll waste- Ham Bagby performs in 2012 at Green Bar in Temerson Square in downtown Tuscaloosa. lands. The list at press time included El- liot McPherson and Sweetdog, Blaine Who makes up the band and what Good old rock ’n’ roll, country and places, but I think the easiest is ham- Duncan, Shiny Machine, Baak Gwai, Q: do they contribute? A: groovy R&B. bagby.bandcamp.com. (Editor’s Note: Ne’er Do Wells and Ham Bagby and The When we play it’s usually as a It’s called “ ‘(Expletive)’s Crucial’ is Siege. More will be added; stay tuned to A: trio and it’s Michael Ray, Mike Where have you been playing and Track Seven,” after his much-beloved, the May 23 Tusk for more. Meanwhile, and I. Sometimes we add more Q: what are some of your upcoming ambling and rambling — longer than meet this group: members for fun. At Ham Ham Jam shows? “Free ” — paean to all that is most Jam we will have Seth Hanna on drums We don’t play often anymore be- important to life). How did the band get started? also, Billy Smart and Jon Kilgore and A: cause we are all in different Q: Cat Mountain all on guitar as well. bands, but when we do it will most like- What are your short-term and In 2003/2004 we started as a fi ve- Egan’s is the smallest room in the ly be at Egan’s or Green Bar. Q: long-term goals for your music? A: piece band called the Paper Scis- world to play a show in, so it’s impor- I’m looking quite forward to an- sors Rock Band which eventually be- tant to bring as big a band as possi- Do you have any recordings avail- A: other Ham Ham Jam Jam, and I’d came a trio when two guys stopped ble. Q: able? If so, where can they be like to record another record in 2014. As showing up to practice. Shortly after found? far as long-term goals, I don’t know. I that we started going by Ham Bagby How would you describe your My last album is easily obtained think I’m just going to keep playing and and The Siege. Q: sound? A: on the Internet at a multitude of see where that takes me. I FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 5D

TUSK TUNES Alabama Shakes shaken up by sudden success

By Scott Mervis The bus and be like on the side of the stage fi st- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Alabama pumping us.” Shakes With the success of the album, which Count Steve Johnson, drummer for Ala- perform was recorded in Nashville and released in bama Shakes, among those who didn’t at Egan’s April 2012 on ATO, Alabama Shakes have pie-in-the-sky expectations for what bar on watched its stock rise quickly. the band could accomplish. Nov. 23, Two years have gone by now, and con- “One of the fi rst times I played with Zac 2012. stant touring has made it hard for the and Brittany,” he says, “I was like, ‘This Shakes to generate a quick follow-up. STAFF FILE band has a better chance of going places PHOTO “Being new to it and touring as nonstop as than any other band I played with.’ I was we did,” the drummer says, “that’s so taxing thinking along the lines of just putting out on your body and your mind, and we’re all a decent album and playing in our town and just really big homebodies as it is, family peo- surrounding bigger cities. That would have ple. It got to the point where, if you want any- been fi ne for me, but I knew it had poten- thing decent from us, we need to get home tial. I just didn’t think it would be as well and get our heads right, time to get back to received by everybody as it was.” normal mode and out of this chaos. Since breaking out in late 2011, the South- “So, we went back and had some time to ern roots band led by soulful frontwoman Brit- just play at home and have some rehearsals tany Howard has taken its debut to No. 6 on in garages again and pay our bills and mow the charts, played Bonnaroo and “Saturday wanna come play some music?’ ” Southern rockers Drive-By Truckers. our lawns and stuff, and get a chance to Night Live” and received two Grammy nomi- He knew that to suit her style, compa- “They were so inspirational and cool and write some more and go back in the studio, nations, including Best New Artist. rable to Janis Joplin and like-minded soul good with us,” Johnson says. “Had we not and we were doing that, and now we’re to Bassist Zac Cockrell and singer-guitarist belters, he wasn’t going to be playing as if gone on the road with them fi rst, we would the point where we’re itching to get back Howard started playing together in high he were in Tool. have had some band who probably hazed on the road. After you get your head school in their hometown of Athens. John- “When I started playing with Brittany, I us or were obnoxious. You come across cleared, you just wanna play music.” son, a few years older, worked in a music was 24 and she had just turned 20 or 21, bands sometimes like that that are just not He expects a sophomore record to hit store and had toiled in a variety of bands: and that’s when I started holding back, not friendly. But Drive-By Truckers, they were early next year and be a change of pace “Punk bands, experimental bands, guys who trying to squeeze as much into the song, good to us. They would invite us on the tour from the debut. I were into Tool and Primus and Chili Peppers’ because before that we kind of had to make psychedelic funk, hardcore bands that were up for our lack of a frontman by our play- just thrashing it out, dumb stuff.” ability, playing all this cool stuff to keep He had grown accustomed to his bands people interested. Now I’m playing with lacking a crucial ingredient. someone who’s got a good voice and it’s not “Your frontman, frontwoman, is always necessary for me to be back there doing the missing the link, the hardest piece to this dumb stuff while she’s while trying to Dating come by, that can vibe so well and at the sing something beautiful.” made same time not be like a (jerk). There’s a They formed the band in 2009, added gui- couple of them I’ve played with where I’m tarist Heath Fogg and went out as The Shakes like, ‘Man, you’re killing me.’ before adding Alabama for legal reasons. “She was always just different, and I’ve Their 2011 EP got them a gig at the CMJ Easy known Brittany since she was in like ninth showcase in New York and a New York Times grade. She would come in to buy like guitar rave that called them a “buzz band” with an strings and sit down and play little things unpretentious singer who could wail. TuT ssccalloooosasa she would come up with and she had a friend Before their debut album even came out, who was super cute, so I was like, ‘Hey, ya’ll they were invited to tour with veteran 205.535.3133 BiB rmrmininghghamam

AIDS Outreach, and we have an annual 205.591.4433 FREE LOCAL Mardi Gras Bal Masque that I work on all MoMontntgogomem ryy TO LISTEN AND year long. REPLY TO ADS! CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3D 334.450.0088 What things do you think Tusca- UA Theatre and Dance. The theater Q: loosa needs or needs more of and A: and dance programs are both amaz- why? ing and I love to catch shows whenever I I’m pretty happy with the growth of FREE CODE: can. I obviously like concerts — so I see A: Tuscaloosa. It could slow down a bit, every concert that comes through — it is as far as I’m concerned. Say “Tusk News” kind of what I do. I occasionally catch a Tell-A- show at Theatre Tuscaloosa. I enjoy Ala- How do you urge people to get more For other local numbers call: Friend TM bama softball. I am a proud member of The Q: involved around town? REWARDS Mystic Krewe of the Druids, an organiza- Bring them with me. 1-888-MegaMates tion that raises money for West Alabama A: 24/7 Friendly Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2013 PC LLC 3085 NA5855837 6D FRIDAY , MAY 16 , 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM

MOVIES | FOR RENT

DVD REPORT CARD | By Corey Craft, Tusk Writer

“HER” The magic of “Her,” Spike Jonze’s Oscar-winning melancholy science-fi c- tion love story, is that it shouldn’t work half as well as it does. The story could either be played for straight comedy or seized upon as an opportunity to make a comment about our modern reliance on electronic devices. There is comedy and there is commentary, but Jonze, working from his original screenplay, treads into territory altogether more unexpected. Joaquin Phoenix stars as Theodore Twombly, a lonely man in whose solitary life consists of working for a company at which he writes emotional, personalized letters for the relationships of others, and not much else. When he up- grades his computer’s operating system, the voice that becomes his assistant and companion dubs herself Samantha, voiced by Scarlett Johansson. Samantha and Theodore get to know one another, and despite their differ- ences, form an emotional attachment — even as Samantha’s intelligence evolves, grows closer to human and, eventually, beyond. Without Phoenix and Johansson ground- ing this story, it wouldn’t work; considering only one of these two leads is on screen, it’s all the more remarkable that Johans- son’s contribution is so memorable and ef- fective. “Her” largely avoids the broad looks you might customarily get in a dif- ferent science-fi ction work and focuses on the love story. Anything else would prove unwieldy, but Jonze perfectly navigates tone with LIONSGATE his potentially silly conceit, even as it Aaron Eckhart stars in “I, Frankenstein.” spirals into peculiar places and takes twists and turns you might not see com- tractive young women. The movie por- with? And the answer to that question: Aaron Eckhart and Bill Nighy, portray- ing, culminating in one of those endings trays this as excruciatingly difficult to Nope. Not one bit. $30.99 DVD, $35.99 Blu- ing the anti-hero Frankenstein’s creation that surprises by encapsulating every- manage, given Efron’s allergy to com- ray. and his main demonic adversary, are re- thing that came before in an unexpect- mitment of the most basic sort (even spected actors, despite having a predilec- edly perfect way. $28.98 DVD, $35.99 when it comes to moments of simple hu- “I, FRANKENSTEIN” tion toward schlock like this (between Blu-ray. man decency). I, unimpressed. Were Mary Shelley, the “Underworld” franchise and “The But a few things happen all at once: Efron author of the novel “Frankenstein; or, Core,” the two of them either have a fond- “” meets The One (Imogen Poots), while Tell- The Modern Prometheus” raised from ness for cinematic cheese, or are related That awkward moment when three lik- er’s best friend/wingwoman (Mackenzie the grave today — and had she not al- to the craft services guy on all of these able male leads — Zac Efron, Michael B. Davis) suddenly strikes him as being a ready been driven to madness by Ken- sets). Jordan and Miles Teller, who have all compatible long-term romantic partner, neth Branagh’s 1994 adaptation — surely Anyway, Frankenstein’s monster, here been in much better movies and done and Jordan’s wife (Jessica Lucas) asks for “I, Frankenstein,” which imagines her named Adam (I, disgusted), is found in the much better things — turn up in and do a divorce. pitiable literary creation as the linchpin wilderness and adopted by a group of an- nothing to elevate a terrible romantic Out of that sort of solidarity you only see of a cosmic battle between angels and gelic gargoyles to sequester him from the comedy. So little about “That Awkward in fi lms portraying male friends and rarely, demons, would send her willingly back forces of darkness. An empty living vessel Moment” is truly romantic or amusing if ever, in real life, Efron and Teller pledge to eternal slumber in a despondence such as Adam is of considerable interest to that I suspect those seeking this out for to Jordan they will remain single, which comparable to her monstrous charac- the demons, who would love to have such a date or something would fi nd them- would not normally be a diffi cult thing to ter’s. a being for the dark forces of hell to inhabit, selves in ... well, you know, the title says manage were it not for their new circum- Why does “I, Frankenstein” exist? What free of those pesky souls that humans pos- it all. stances. purpose does it serve? Market-based pur- sess. Or something. The trio of young actors play long- What it comes down to in these sorts of poses? Well, it failed there. Its steampunk- Writer-director Stuart Beattie throws time friends; Jordan is married, while movies: Are the leads likable or funny inspired, twisted literary classics aesthetic endless exposition at the viewer and yet Efron and Teller are lotharios whose enough to overcome the fact that these would feel more at home in a music video not for one moment does it make sense, or hard-partying ways invariably lead them guys are playing, in essence, horrible peo- for the band Evanescence from about at least make you care to parse it out. I, so to sexual success with a carousel of at- ple that we are expected to sympathize 2002. bored. $29.95 DVD, $39.99 Blu-ray. I FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 7D

MOVIES | “MILLION DOLLAR ARM” ’s baseball fi lm is corny but fun

By Jocelyn Noveck The ### Let’s face it: There’s something about a (OUT OF FOUR) baseball movie that just invites corniness. The hardest hearts soften at the mere ‘MILLION DOLLAR ARM’ sound of a cracking bat. It’s hard for a fi lm- Starring: Jon Hamm, Aasif Mandvi, maker to resist laying the syrup on too Alan Arkin, Madhur Mittal, Suraj thick. Sharma, , Lake Bell And so it is with the Disney fi lm “Mil- Director: lion Dollar Arm,” which makes a direct, Rated: PG for mild language and some uncomplicated, er, pitch for your heart — suggestive content a pitch that will probably hit its mark, de- Running time: 124 minutes spite your best instincts telling you this movie should really be subtler at almost every turn. Will the two players overcome their lack Oh well. Somehow, this fl aw doesn’t feel of training, their nervousness and the cyn- like the biggest crime — especially when ical baseball press corps to have their mo- you have a high-quality cast at work. The ment of glory? Will Bernstein realize that quality starts with Jon Hamm, who by vir- there’s something more important than tue of his well-known charisma makes a making money? good case for his future fi lm career, now Uh, have you ever seen a baseball movie? that his days as Don Draper on TV’s “Mad DISNEY (And besides, we told you this was a true Men” are sadly ending. From left, Jon Hamm, Madhur Mittal, and Pitobash in a scene from story.) Like Draper, Hamm’s character here, the “Million Dollar Arm.” But let’s not nitpick. It’s a baseball movie! real-life sports agent JB Bernstein (the It’s heartwarming, and hey, it has Jon fi lm’s based on a true story), has a certain Thus begins a picturesque journey subtitle when Brenda fi rst appears: “SOON- Hamm. narcissism at his core. Unlike Draper, how- through the Indian countryside — making TO-BE GIRLFRIEND.” Enough said. I ever, this isn’t a deeply drawn character. for director Craig Gillespie’s most compel- Whatever faults he displays at the begin- ling visuals — for Bernstein and the wise- ning (he prefers to cracking, constantly nap- date sexy models, And so it is with the ping baseball scout he and he wants to recruits, Ray (the reliably TTIREIRE S STORESTORES make money — oh Disney fi lm “Million Dollar cranky Alan Arkin) and a lo- no!) are pretty much Arm,” which makes a cal baseball fanatic working TRACTION T/A neatly cured by the for free, Amit (sweetly WE WILL MEET Whether you’re on the OR BEAT end. direct, uncomplicated, er, played by the comic actor NOW WEstreet, WILL track MEET or off-road, In any case, the pitch for your heart — a Pitobash). ANY COMPETITORS BFGoodrichOR BEAT tires are designed best parts of the Most of the young men ONPRICES! ANYfor the COMPETITORS driver who puts high they fi nd can’t pitch worth a story are actually pitch that will probably SALE performancePRICES! first. not about Bernstein, darn. But ultimately they NS03029002 but about the two hit its mark, despite come across Dinesh (the McFarlandAlberta Blvd. McFarlandNorthport Blvd. Northport West EndWest End FayetteFayette young Indian men your best instincts telling handsome Madhur Mittal, 556-1640556-2515 556-2515759-4273 759-4273 759-5138759-5138 932-5996932-5996 he brings to Amer- of “Slumdog Millionaire” ) ica in hopes of creat- you this movie should and Rinku (the soulful Suraj ing the next interna- really be subtler at Sharma, who starred in t i o n a l b a s e b a l l “Life of Pi.” ) Neither is actu- Buffet City sensation — and almost every turn. ally a cricket player. But no opening up a huge, matter — they can throw. DineDine In • In Take • Take Out Out • Beer untapped market in the world’s second Back in Los Angeles, Bernstein gets to LARGEST CHINESE BUFFET IN TOWN! 10% OFF most populous country. work setting up a Major League tryout, hir- All You Can Eat Buffet: Over 250 Items Hence the title, “Million Dollar Arm,” ing a canny baseball coach (Bill Paxton) Includes: • Sushi Bar • BBQ Bar BUFFET which is the contest that Bernstein devises to get the boys ready in the impossible time

to fi nd his young stars. As the fi lm begins, frame of several months — a demand of •SnowCrabLegs•Shrimp•JapaneseSteel ONLY Bernstein and his partner Ash (the always- their fi nancial backer — despite the fact Griddle Plates • Appetizers & Fresh Fruit & NotNot Valid valid with with otherany other offer offer. • Expires Expires 5/31/14 6/30/09 Salad Bar • Ice Cream entertaining Aasif Mandvi) are searching that they’ve barely touched a baseball and DRINKS EXCLUDED PartiesParties & Much More! MSG for ways to revive their fl agging business. don’t even know what the glove’s for. Welcome!Welcome! All our food is cooked in vegetable oil

A failure to land a major account means Of course, there are yet more obstacles. N

they can’t even pay their LA offi ce rent. The two are homesick. Forced to live in Super 8 McFarland 1747 Skyland Blvd E. Mall One night, though, idly channel-fl ipping Bernstein’s apartment, they wreak havoc Tuscaloosa, AL 35405 Books A between a cricket game and Susan Boyle’s in his dating life. Luckily, the next-door (In Shopping Center Next To Wal-Mart) W E Million famous out-of-nowhere audition on “Brit- neighbor, Brenda, is a pretty, smart, caring TEL: (205) 553-3308 Mon - Thurs 11:00 am - 10:00 pm SKYLAND BLVD. E ain’s Got Talent,” Bernstein comes up with medical student (Lake Bell). This eventual I-20 Fri - Sat: 11:00 am - 10:30 pm Pier I Exit 76

MCFARLAND BLVD/HWY 82 Buffet relationship is telegraphed in such an obvi- Walmart the idea to fi nd cricket players who might Sun: 11:00 am - 9:30 pm City NS03028828_V2 NA5855720 be able to pitch a baseball. ous way, there might as well have been a S NA5855836 8D FRIDAY, MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM FRIDAY, MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 9D CEDIJ;H9;B;8H?JO A loving look back at a worldwide phenomenon

By Corey Craft ered with radioactive ash and its crew original Japanese studio, Toho, in 40 semble cast including Bryan Cranston, Special to Tusk developed radiation sickness; the begin- years. Many of these have received con- Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Oscar nominees ning of “Godzilla” ups the ante as it in- spicuously timed Blu-ray releases in the David Strathairn, Sally Hawkins and Ken he King of the Monsters is once troduces its monstrous villain from the past few weeks. During this series of se- Watanabe, and Oscar winner Juliette again returning to the big screens depths of the ocean as three fishing quels and spinoffs, Godzilla morphed Binoche. J — and long may he reign, as this trawlers are consumed in a sea of into a more light-hearted anti-hero of But you may not expect the reins of year marks not only the release of the flame. sorts, usually defending , if not the such a massive undertaking to be en- latest iteration of Godzilla, but the You may not know how famous Amer- entire planet, against a worse giant mon- trusted to a first-time studio director — beast’s 60th anniversary. ican author Ray Bradbury relates to the ster foe. These tremendous kaiju battles yet Warner Bros. and Legendary Pic- From his earliest iteration in Ishiro creation of Godzilla. 1951 saw the pub- would inevitably level Tokyo over and tures did just that. 2014’s “Godzilla” is Honda’s 1954 Japanese classic through lication of Bradbury’s short story “The over again. Godzilla would face King directed by Gareth Edwards, whose only the series of cheesy but still captivating Fog Horn,” depicting a massive levia- Kong himself, along with new invented previous feature film was the 2010 inde- films that pitted Godzilla against a litany than emerging from the sea, having foes like the prehistoric flying Ro- pendent creature feature “Monsters.” of giant monsters, all the way through mistaken a remote lighthouse’s fog horn dan, three-headed dragon King Ghi- The film is a love story set in a quaran- Roland Emmerich’s 1998 attempt to kill for a fellow beast. This story inspired dorah, the fearsome Mothra and Hedo- tined, abandoned Mexico overrun by gi- Godzilla dead once and for all with the the 1953 science-fiction classic “The rah, the Smog ant alien crea- first American remake, Godzilla has en- Beast from 20,000 Fathoms,” with stop- Monster from DejWbbmWiWjejWbbeii1j^[ tures, following dured. But there’s plenty about Godzilla motion special effects from the legend- space (one of a photojournal- you might not know, even if your child- ary visual effects guru Ray Harry- the more obvi- 7c[h_YWd_j[hWj_ede\=eZp_bbW ist and a young hood memories of a man in a fake-look- hausen. “The Beast from 20,000 ous environ- mWih[dWc[ZP_bbWWdZ_djheZkY[Z woman on their ing suit stomping through an unconvinc- Fathoms” also warned of the cumulative mental meta- trek toward the ing model city might be the only things effects of nuclear testing on nature — phors). Godzilla _djej^[Je^eYedj_dk_jo_dÇ<_dWb American bor- that may come to mind. and Honda, drawing off a fondness for would even face der and back to Forthwith, a few interesting facts Harryhausen’s work, designed his own off against his MWhi"Èm_j^j^[YbWh_ÓYWj_edj^Wj safety. about the “Godzilla” series: destructive giant partially based on the fearsome ro- P_bbWmWic[h[boc_i_Z[dj_Ó[ZWi E d w a r d s Ishiro Honda’s 1954 “Godzilla” monster in the American film. (This botic counter- shot the film in kicked off what has become a long- film is widely regarded as one of the first part, Mechago- =eZp_bbWXoj^[7c[h_YWdi$ three weeks running and beloved film franchise in the resurgent craze of giant-monster dzilla. The 2004 and completed with a film that may be far darker than films of the 1950s, along with a re- “Godzilla: Final Wars” would put the some fairly extensive visual effects many people remember. “Godzilla,” the release of the 1933 classic “” Toho series to rest (at least, to date) with work on consumer-grade laptops in his original Japanese film and its titular gi- in 1952; see the sidebar on pages 10-11D a giant monster smackdown, as Godzilla bedroom during the course of five ant monster, was conceived by Honda for more information.) took on most of his most feared adversar- months. Its budget was well under as a metaphor representing the devas- In 1956, Godzilla came to American ies at once. $500,000. The film got the attention of tation wrought by detonation of atomic shores with the recut “Godzilla, King of In 1998, Sony, with “Independence many in Hollywood, perhaps most im- weapons above Hiroshima and Naga- the Monsters!,” which features most of Day” director Roland Emmerich at the portant Legendary Pictures’s CEO saki only nine years before. The beast Honda’s original “Godzilla” film mixed helm, attempted to bring the feared beast , who was looking for the was mutated by nuclear experimenta- with new footage surrounding an Amer- to American shores with his terribly re- right filmmaker to restore the luster lost tion, and Godzilla’s i c a n r e p o r t e r ceived remake starring Matthew Broder- in the previous American “Godzilla” it- destruction of To- J^[h[Êifb[djoWXekj=eZp_bbW played by Perry ick and Jean Reno. Despite seemingly eration. kyo was intended Mason himself, endless promotional attempts, “Godzilla” Edwards was given a budget estimated to be representa- oekc_]^jdejadem"[l[d_\ Raymond Burr. Re- was poorly reviewed by critics and audi- at $160 million to make his second fea- tive not only of the oekhY^_bZ^eeZc[ceh_[ie\ mastered editions ences alike, and Sony’s attempt at a new ture — needless to say, a considerable horrors of what had of both of these ver- American “Godzilla” trilogy was ditched increase in scale and resources. happened, but the WcWd_dW\Wa[#beea_d]ik_j sions were released after one film. Not all was a total loss; the The filmmakers have said that this visceral anxiety of on Blu-ray in 2012 American iteration of Godzilla was re- new “Godzilla” returns to the grittier what could soon be, ijecf_d]j^hek]^Wd as part of The Cri- named and introduced into the Toho origins of the 1954 film, portraying the in a world of test kdYedl_dY_d]ceZ[bY_jo terion Collection, continuity in “Final Wars,” with the clar- big green guy as an anti-heroic force of detonations and nu- with the original ification that Zilla was merely misidenti- nature. Whether it’s tied once more to clear arms races. c_]^jX[j^[edboj^_d]i film playing right fied as Godzilla by the Americans. nuclear energies, or a more contempo- “Godzilla” in fact j^WjcWoYec[jec_dZ$ now in select the- The production company Legendary rary anxiety, just as Guillermo Del Toro’s opens with a fiction- aters around the Pictures acquired the American rights “Pacific Rim” served as a metaphor for alized version of a March 1954 incident country as part of the lead-up to Warner to the Godzilla character and has brought climate change, remains to be seen. But in which a Japanese fishing trawler, the Bros.’s massive-budget remake. the character once again to the big audiences will soon check it out for them- Daigo Fukuryu Maru, cruised within 85 Needless to say, the “Godzilla” fran- screen with the big-budget remake open- selves, and Godzilla may soon prove to miles of an American hydrogen bomb chise became massively popular in Ja- ing in theaters today. The film features, be just as durable — and popular — as test at Bikini Atoll. The boat was show- pan, spawning 27 sequels made by the amid kaiju terror and destruction, an en- ever. N 10D FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM MONSTER LINEAGE Godzilla’s the king, but who were its ancestors?

By Mark Hughes Cobb Tusk Editor

s Corey Craft points out in his Godzilla ode, the King of the Monsters grew not only from the warlike follies of men, but A from literary and fi lmic precursors similarly irradiated into 1925 1954 existence. And going back three decades or so, Godzilla has ancestors in just plain old bigness. In conjuring the fi rst gigantic movie monster, many might, “The Lost World” “Godzilla” predictably enough, jump back to the hairy ape King Kong. But one fi lm full of overgrown beasts beat Kong to the silver screen. It’s probably not as well-known or often-shown, in part because it’s a silent, and perhaps because the fi lmmakers weren’t clever enough to cutesy-name one of its monsters. Like Tex Rex or something. The mother of all gigantic monster movies is 1925’s “The Lost 1933 1955 World,” featuring stop-motion by Willis O’Brien — who improved on his techniques for 1933’s “King Kong” — and based on the novel by creator , “King Kong” positing that and other prehistoric animals still stomped “It Came the earth, albeit on just one Venezuelan plateau. Back in the day, you got bang for your big bucks. The titular great ape of “King Kong” was in fact just one gargantuan from an from Beneath island — — full of monsters, including outsized di- nosaurs. But Kong had the catchy name, so he’s the one they captured and brought back to put on the ritz, on Broadway. Originator Merian C. Cooper may have based his story on a 1949 the Sea” number of confl ations. had only as late as 1847 been found and described by Western naturalists, and little was yet known about their range and rage (they’re actually quite docile). “Mighty Joe Young” Proto-humans might have carried forward tales of an extinct genus of ape, , which existed up until about 100,000 years ago, and stood as much as 10 feet tall and weighed up to 1,190 pounds. 1955 And of course there was Doyle’s belief that, with much of the world still uncharted, some pockets of ancient, thought-to-be ex- tinct creatures might survive on isolated places, such as islands. 1953 Add in the fact that islands encourage gigantism in some species “Tarantula!” — in part through lack of predators and availability of food — et voila! Skull Island. Sequels and remakes and spin-offs followed — including 1949’s “The Beast from “Mighty Joe Young,” featuring animation work by O’Brien with , who’d go on to create many monsters of his own — though few are as beloved as the original Kong. In the ’50s, movie monsters exploded, almost literally: As Corey 20,000 Fathoms” 1959 notes, the fears of post-Hiroshima fallout and mutation, and of the follies of men with their fi ngers on nuclear triggers, created 1953’s “The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms,” the colossal ants of “Them!” (1954), the mammoth octopus of “It Came From Beneath the Sea” “Behemoth, (1955), the towering of “Tarantula!” (1955) and the prodi- gious of “Behemoth, the Sea Monster” (1959), which was very much a remake of “Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.” 1954 the Sea Interesting also to the origins of Godzilla, and Kong’s abiding infl uence: The original conception of the beast was as a cross be- tween a and a whale. The Japanese title “Gojira” came from “Them!” words gorira, meaning gorilla, and kujira, meaning whale. When Monster” Toho developed the edition for English-speaking audiences, it came up with Godzilla as the closest English transliteration of Gojira. I FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 11D

MOVIES | “GODZILLA” Chilling ‘Godzilla’ reboot upholds legacy

By Jessica Herndon The Associated Press

No one can blame Gareth Edwards for admittedly feeling nervous when asked to helm a remake of the biggest of all time. Sure, the only other fi lm he had directed happened to be 2010’s “Monsters.” But this time, it was Godz- illa. Well, the latest iteration of the 60-year- old franchise is in capable hands. Ed- wards’ “Godzilla” is a pleasingly paced 3-D spectacle that pays chilling homage to the artful legacy of the original 1954 fi lm — Ishiro Honda’s “Gojira” — while emerging as its own prodigious monster movie. Created as a symbol of the nuclear threat following America’s atomic attacks on Ja- pan in World War II, Godzilla’s reappear- ance suggests the nuclear tests conducted by the U.S. in the Pacifi c after the war were really meant to hold the radioactive dino- saur back. This story begins in Japan in 1999 as nu- clear physicist Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston, PHOTOS | WARNER BROS. PICTURES edgy in an unbearable wig) investigates This film image released by Warner Bros. Pictures shows a scene from “Godzilla.” questionable seismic activity at the Janjira nuclear power plant. When a team at the plant, including his scientist wife, Sandra (an underused Ju- ### liette Binoche), dies in what everyone be- (OUT OF FOUR) lieves is a natural disaster, Joe dedicates his life to proving that what caused the dev- ‘GODZILLA’ astation was anything but natural. His ob- session creates a rift between himself and Starring: Bryan Cranston, Juliette his son, Ford. Binoche, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Eliza- Fifteen years later, we catch up with Ford beth Olsen, Ken Watanabe, Sally Hawk- (played by a placid but sexy Aaron Taylor- ins and David Strathairn, Johnson) in San Francisco, where he lives Director: Gareth Edwards with his wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and their Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences son. of destruction, mayhem and creature Serving in the U.S. Navy, Ford disarms violence bombs, a skill that later helps him save Running time: 123 minutes the planet from — “Massive Un- identifi ed Terrestrial Organism” — that emerge from a long dormancy and begin stories — with glistening, scaly skin and traveling the globe, feeding on radia- dorsal fi n spikes down his back. His ter- tion. rifying yet textured roar shakes the the- Screenwriter , work- ater. ing from a story by Dave Callaham, Aiming for a realistic take on how we Aaron Taylor-Johnson, left, and Elizabeth Olsen in a scene from “Godzilla.” doesn’t bombard us with multiple narra- might react to an invasion by giant crea- tives or a multitude of characters (Ken tures, Edwards makes sure our view of Rygiel (“The Lord of the Rings” franchise), Godzilla isn’t out to take the world down Watanabe and Sally Hawkins play scien- them rarely shifts from the human per- the contemporary take looks incredibly this time. He’s here to be its hero and his tists, and David Strathairn plays an ad- spective. fl uid and Godzilla’s movements appear far massive showdown — fiery radioactive miral). Honoring the eerie music of the original, more natural. breath and all — against the MUTOs is the Instead, the fi lm focuses on Ford’s fam- this film’s score by Alexandre Desplat But we’re not bombarded with excessive highlight. He’s more than a catastrophic ily story, which Borenstein takes his time (“Argo” ) is equally menacing, rich with CGI here. Godzilla isn’t oversold, although beast and we’re on his side when he swims developing. When we fi nally see Godzilla horns that complement the consistently se- for some, his lack of screentime won’t be off into the sunset. — just shy of an hour into the fi lm — the rious tone of the movie. satisfying enough. However, the balance While the predictable sequel has not yet anticipation has built to such a degree that In the original fi lm, made using stop- between the family-focused story line and been confi rmed, one thing is clear: Ed- we expect to be awe-struck. And we are. motion photography, an actor stomped intense action sequences is bound to please wards’ version of “Godzilla” remains the The tallest of any before him, around a miniature Tokyo in a latex suit. others. ultimate monster movie. The legacy has this one stands 355 feet high — about 30 But in the hands of visual effects guru Jim A threat to the planet in the ’50s version, been upheld. I 12D FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM

CALENDAR

WHERE TO GO

T-TOWN VENUES THINGS TO DO WITH LIVE MUSIC LOCAL MUSIC ironhorsecafe.net. 205-978-5599. I Killswitch Engage, Trivium, Bat- I Fire Mountain (album release tlecross and Nothing More: 7 p.m., I The Bear Trap, 1137 University show), Joel Madison Blount: 9 p.m., $30, Iron City, 513 22nd St. S., Birming- TODAY Blvd., behind the Strip. 205-346- $10, 18 and older, Bottletree Cafe, Bir- ham. 205-202-5483. www.ironcitybham. I Casey Thrasher: 10 p.m., Rhythm & 2766. mingham. www.thebottletree.com. 205- com. I Big Al’s, 2108 14th Ave. 205- Brews. 205-750-2992. 533-6288. I Corey Nolen (CD release show): 8 759-9180. I Matt Bennett Trio: 10 p.m., Round- I Capone’s 4th and 23rd, 401 I Randall Bramblett Band, Seven p.m., $10, Moonlight on the Mountain, ers, 1215 University Blvd, www.rounders 23rd Ave. downtown, Temerson Handle Circus: 8 p.m., $18, WorkPlay Birmingham. www.moonlightonthemtn. Square. 205-248-0255. onthestrip.com. 205-345-4848. I Egan’s, 1229 University Blvd. Theatre. www.workplay.com. 205-879- com. 205-578-2444. 4773. I Stevie Monce Band: 9 p.m., $5, The on the Strip. 205-758-9413. SATURDAY I The Filling Station, 411 23rd I All the Locals, JB Strauss: 10 p.m., Nick. www.thenickrocks.com. 205-252- I Seymour Blue for Live at the Ave. 205-764-0924. $8 Zydeco, Birmingham. 205-933-1032. 3831. I Gallette’s, 1021 University Brewery Series: 8 p.m., Druid City I Jasper Coal: 10 p.m., $6, The Nick, Blvd. on the Strip, 205-758-2010. Brewing Company, 607 14th St. I Gnemi’s Top Shelf Tavern, 407 Birmingham. www.thenickrocks.com. WEDNESDAY I Nic Snow Duo: 10 p.m., Rounders, 23rd Ave., 205-343-0020. www. 205-252-3831. I Pop Evil, Escape The Fate, Ava- myspace.com/topshelftavern. 1215 University Blvd, www.rounderson- tar, Glamour of the Kill: 7 p.m., I Harry’s Bar, 1330 Hargrove thestrip.com. 205-345-4848. SATURDAY $22.50, Iron City, 513 22nd St. S., Bir- Road. 205-758-9332. I Triggerproof: 10 p.m., Rhythm and I Innisfree Irish Pub, 1925 Uni- I Mark Stuart, Raquel Lily: 7:30 p.m., mingham. 205-202-5483. www.iron Brews. 205-750-2992. versity Blvd. 205-345-1199. $12, Moonlight on the Mountain, Bir- citybham.com. I Green Bar, 2209 Fourth St., mingham. www.moonlightonthemtn. connected to Wilhagan’s. 205- MONDAY com. 205-578-2444. 752-2060. I “A Requiem”: 7 p.m., $10 adults, THURSDAY I The Jupiter on the Strip, 1307 I Peter Bradley Adams, Caitlin $5 students, Holy Spirit Catholic I Buckcherry, Fozzy, Nonpoint: 7 University Blvd. 205-248-6611. Canty: 8 p.m., $15, WorkPlay Theatre. www.jupiterbar.com Church, 733 James Harrison Jr. Park- p.m., $32, Iron City, 513 22nd St. S., Bir- www.workplay.com. 205-879-4773. I Mellow Mushroom, 2230 Uni- way, performed by Prentice Concert mingham. 205-202-5483. www.ironci- versity Blvd. 205-758-0112. I Eagulls, Twin Peaks: 9 p.m., $10 in Chorale, directed by Leslie Poss with tybham.com. I Pour Cafe, in Capstone Church, advance, $12 day of show, 18 and older, 1907 University Blvd., www. Terry Moore on piano. “A Requiem” is a I Dayna Kurtz, Robert Mache: 7:30 Bottletree Cafe, Birmingham. www. myspace.com/pourcafe. a compilation of greatest hits from p.m., $12, Moonlight on the Mountain, I thebottletree.com. 205-533-6288. The Red Shed, 509 13th Ave., some of the best known, most beloved Birmingham. www.moonlightonthemtn. 205-344-4372. I Beitthemeans (CD release party), musical settings of requiem texts, com. 205-578-2444. I Rhythm and Brews, 2308 Leaderdog: 9:30 p.m., $8, Zydeco, Bir- Fourth St., downtown in Temer- from legendary composers including I PJ Morton, Clinton Babers: 8 p.m., mingham. 205-933-1032. son Square. 205-759-2992. www. Johann Sebastian Bach, Gabriel Faure’, $20 in advance, $25 day of show, Work- rhythmnbrews.com I Fly By Radio: 10 p.m., Iron Horse W. A. Mozart, Franz Schubert and Play Theatre. www.workplay.com. 205- I Rounders, 1215 University Cafe. www.ironhorsecafe.net. 205-978- Blvd., on the Strip. Giuseppe Verdi, as well as living com- 879-4773. I Temerson Square Bar, 407 5599. I Ces Cru, L. Cole: 9 p.m., $7, The Nick, posers Paul Basler, Eleanor Daley and I 23rd Ave. 205-343-2229. Amigo, The Old Paints, Yellow Birmingham. www.thenickrocks.com. I K. Lee Scott. The Yellowhammer, 2310 Uni- Hammer Heart, Reverse Order: 10 205-252-3831. versity Blvd. 205-752-6330. p.m., $7, The Nick, Birmingham. www. I Wilhagan’s, 2209 Fourth St., THURSDAY I Pine Hill Haints, Lost Bayou Ram- thenickrocks.com. 205-252-3831. 205-366-0913. www.facebook. I Amy McCarley and Chambless & blers: 9 p.m., $10, 18 and up, Bottletree com/wilhagans. Muse (Jil and Scooter from Henri’s Cafe, Birmingham. www.thebottletree. SUNDAY Notions) for Acoustic Night at the com. 205-533-6288. I George Clinton and Parliament OUT OF TOWN Bama: 7:30 p.m., $5, Bama Theatre’s Funkadelic, Fishergreen: 8 p.m., Greensboro Room. No smoking, full bar. I Alys Stephens Center, 1200 $30, Iron City, 513 22nd St. S., Birming- LOCAL EVENTS 205-758-5195. 10th Ave. S., Birmingham. 205- ham. 205-202-5483. www.ironcity SATURDAY 975-2787. www.alysstephens. I Glen Templeton: 10 p.m., Rhythm bham.com. I Tuscaloosa Bark in the Park: Bark org. and Brews. 205-750-2992. I Barking Kudu, 2929 Seventh I Truckfi ghters, Stoned Cobra: 8 in the Park dog event, free at the Will Ave. S., Birmingham. 205-328- p.m., $10 in advance, $12 day of show, May Dog Park in Sokol Park. Registra- 1748. www.barkingkudu. com. REGIONAL tion from 9-10 a.m.; dog blessing at I Birmingham-Jefferson Con- WorkPlay Theatre. www.workplay.com. vention Complex, 2100 Richard TODAY 205-879-4773. 10:30; Paws on Parade at 10:45; an- Arrington Blvd. N., Birmingham. I Willie Sugarcapps (Grayson nouncement of parade winners at 205-458-8400. www.bjcc.org. Capps, Will Kimbrough, Corky MONDAY noon; vendor demonstration at 12:15 I Courtyard 280 Oyster Bar, 4643 U.S. Highway 280 S., Bir- Hughes and duo Sugarcane Jane I Open-mic night: 7:30 p.m., $5, p.m.; dog weddings at 1. Prospective mingham. 205-980-9891. featuring Savana Lee and An- Moonlight on the Mountain, Birmingham. volunteers can call 205-886-0187 or I The Nick, 2514 10th Ave. S., thony Crawford), Brigitte De- www.moonlightonthemtn.com. 205-578- email [email protected]. Pet- Birmingham, 205-252-3831. Meyer: 7:30 p.m., $30, Moonlight on 2444. specifi c exhibitors can call 205-345- www.thenickrocks.com. I Metro Bistro & Market, 2125 the Mountain, Birmingham. www. I SoulSwitch, Undisclosed: 9 p.m., 7323. Second Ave. N., Birmingham. moonlightonthemtn.com. 205-578- $5, The Nick. www.thenickrocks.com. I BBQ & Blues: 6-10 p.m., The His- 205-323-7995. 2444. 205-252-3831. toric L&N Station, 301 Greensboro I WorkPlay, 500 23rd St. S., Bir- I mingham. 205-380-4082. www. The Joy Formidable, Preston Lov- Ave., benefi ting the DCH Foundation, workplay.com. inggood and Velouria: 8 p.m., $10, TUESDAY featuring McAbee Pigfi tter’s barbe- I Zydeco, 2001 15th Ave. S., Bir- Iron City, 513 22nd St. S., Birmingham. I 10 Years, Twelve Foot Ninja, Cath- cue, sides, silent auction and blues mingham. 205-933-1032, www. 205-202-5483. www.ironcitybham. ercist, Koralyst: 7 p.m., Iron Horse music by Tommie “T-Bone” Pruitt. zydecobirmingham.com. com. Cafe. www.ironhorsecafe.net. 205-978- 205-759-7349. www.thedchfounda- I Rebel: 10 p.m., Iron Horse Cafe. www. 5599. tion.org. FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 13D CALENDAR

I “Command Performance”: A one- night only gala celebrating 15 years of the Bean-Brown Theatre at Shelton State Community College, featuring scenes and songs from Theatre Tusca- loosa’s years in its fi rst permanent home. Tickets $50, include pre- and post-show receptions and a reserved seat at the show. The pre-show recep- tion in the Wilson Carr Rehearsal Hall begins at 6:30 p.m., and the show in the Bean-Brown at 7:30, with a closing re- ception following. www.theatretusc. com. 205-391-2277.

THURSDAY I Homegrown Alabama Farmers’ Market: 3-6 p.m., Canterbury Episco- pal Chapel lawn, 812 5th Avenue on the University of Alabama campus, with 20 vendors selling fruits, vegetables, baked goods, honey, eggs, meat, canned goods, cheese, seedlings, cut fl owers, soap, homemade herbal teas and more. Also kids’ table with free face-painting and crafts. There will be live music by The Doc- tors and The Lawyers. This week is an EBT/SNAP Double Day; all EBT/SNAP Benefi ts transactions will be matched dollar for dollar up to $25.00 in EBT/SNAP market tokens. Limited edition posters, T-shirts, and tote bags all designed by local artists will be for sale at the Homegrown Ala- bama Information tent. www.home grownalabama.ua.edu. UPCOMING I MAY 24: The 17th annual Freedom Creek Blues Festival, 11 a.m.-8 p.m., $10 suggested donation, Aliceville, featuring Mudcat, Alabama Blues Project Band, DieDra and the Ruff Pro Band, “Birmingham” George Conner, STAFF FILE PHOTO Little Lee, Blues Women Review, Mis- Daniel Lovelady, an employee of Snow’s Bend Farm, restocks pints of strawberries at the Homegrown Alabama Farmers sissippi Blues Boys, Willie Lee Halbert Market. The farmers market is open Thursday from 3-6 p.m. on the Canterbury Episcopal Chapel lawn. and Band. Bring chairs. www. freedomcreek.org, email info@ ham. www.alysstephens.org. I JULY 11: Miranda Lambert, open- I JULY 27: Steely Dan, 8 p.m., BJCC freedomcreek.org or call 205-366- I JUNE 10: “Jesus Christ Superstar” ing act TBA, 7:30 p.m. Tuscaloosa Concert Hall, Birmingham. Tickets, 1307. Arena Spectacular, 8 p.m., BJCC Arena, Amphitheater. Tickets on sale at the from $64.25 to $129.75, through Ticket- I MAY 28-31: Shakespeare’s “Julius Birmingham. Tickets, from $41.50 to Amphitheater box offi ce, online at master. www.bjcc.org. Caesar,” performed by The Rude Me- $91.50, through Ticketmaster. www. www.ticketmaster.com or by calling I AUG. 21: , Parmalee and chanicals, 8 p.m., Marrs’ Spring Park bjcc.org. 800-745-3000, for $39.75, $59.75 and The Cadillac Three, 7 p.m., Tuscaloosa — between Campus and Stadium I JUNE 11: Bruno Mars, 8 p.m., BJCC $69.75. Amphitheater. Tickets will go on sale 10 drives, behind Rowand-Johnson Build- Arena, Birmingham. Tickets, from I JULY 18: Peter Frampton, The Doo- a.m. June 13 at the Amphitheater box ing — on the UA campus. Live pre- $49.50 to $99.50, through Ticketmas- bie Brothers, 8 p.m., Tuscaloosa Amphi- offi ce, online at www.ticketmaster.com show music begins at 7:30 p.m. Free. ter. www.bjcc.org. theater. Tickets on sale for $22.50, $42 or by calling 800-745-3000. Prices will Bring chairs and blankets. Allen Bales I JUNE 13: Fantasia and Joe, 7 p.m. and $62, with $77.50 for Gold Circle be $32.50 and $42.50. Theatre in case of rain. 205-348- Tuscaloosa Amphitheater. Tickets on seating, at the Amphitheater box offi ce, I AUG. 22: Crosby, Stills & Nash, 8 0343. sale at the Amphitheater box offi ce, on- online at www.ticketmaster.com or by p.m., BJCC Concert Hall, Birmingham. I MAY 29: Styx, Foreigner and Don line at www.ticketmaster.com or by calling 800-745-3000. Tickets through Ticketmaster. www. Felder, 7 p.m. Tuscaloosa Amphithe- calling 800-745-3000. Prices will be I JULY 19: Ray LaMontagne, 7:30 p.m., bjcc.org. ater. Tickets — $20 to $75 — on sale $39, $49 and $75. BJCC Concert Hall, Birmingham. Tick- I SEPT. 18: Darius Rucker, through the Amphitheater box offi ce, I JULY 3: Mary J. Blige, 8 p.m., Tusca- ets, from $31 to $61, through Ticket- and Sam Hunt, 7:30 p.m. Tuscaloosa www.ticketmaster.com, or 800-745- loosa Amphitheater. Tickets on sale at master. www.bjcc.org. Amphitheater. Tickets will go on sale 10 3000. the Amphitheater box offi ce, online at I JULY 26: American Idols Live, 8 p.m., a.m. July 18 at the Amphitheater box I JUNE 8: & The Steep www.ticketmaster.com or by calling BJCC Concert Hall, Birmingham. Tick- offi ce, online at www.ticketmaster.com Canyon Rangers, with Edie Brickell, 8 800-745-3000, for $49.50, $69.50, ets, from $37.50 to $90, through Ticket- or by calling 800-745-3000. Prices will p.m., Alys Stephens Center, Birming- $99.50 and $125. master. www.bjcc.org. be $25, $39.50 and $75.50. I 14D FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM

ADVICE & CROSSWORD

NOTE: Can you fi gure out 61 Oasis fruit 2 Indiana city 53 Appear briefl y, as a GO AHEAD, MAKE HER DAY (1) what the answers to 62 Letter-shaped shop 3 Italian city (Pavarotti’s parade rider By Merl Reagle | The Washington Post the asterisked clues have devices birthplace) 54 Burning in common, and (2) what 64 Trust busters? 4 Got stuffed 58 Napkin’s place this has to do with 66 * Where this answer is 5 Specially created, as a 61 Refuses to grant Mother’s Day? (Hint: Write 62 Trolley alerts out the letters in these located (and, if you committee squares: 70-101-10-29- add a word to the 6 Rapper-producer Green 63 Grocery boxfuls 51-115-14-39-56.) front, a former 7 Like the monster in 65 Ready to go Explanation next week. sitcom) “Forbidden Planet” 67 Scent follower 69 They hang together 8 Brit. mil. award 68 Mr. Chips portrayer 70 States confi dently ACROSS 9 Ness and others 71 Pre-bout attire 72 Pay ___ way 1 Madame Bovary 10 Up to our necks (in) 76 Vaquero’s rope 73 Bireme prop 5 Battery refi ll 11 Country retreat 77 Civil War photos and 74 Toothpaste amount 12 Intro to realism Mickey Mouse dolls, 9 Singer of the “Blazing 75 “Love, Not War,” e.g. Saddles” theme 13 Prohibition, e.g. e.g. 76 Leave broke 14 Rumple, as hair 14 Cell division 78 “Button your lip!” 77 Murray the singer 18 Bartlett’s sample: abbr. 15 Doffs one’s topper 81 Craving 78 Wild and crazy 19 Carefree places 16 Visit, as the bank 82 Spots 79 USN rank 20 Part of FSBO 17 More peeved 83 Dalmatian or 80 * (see 48 Across) 21 Turn ___ (become) 19 “Stuff like that,” briefl y Pomeranian, 85 Peruses again perhaps 22 * 23 Lower 86 Reveal accidentally 84 Popular garden fl ower 26 Snoopy, in his dreams 24 ___ the groundwork 87 A ___ bit 85 Makes big changes in 27 Reason for a food recall 25 Tognazzi of “La Cage 89 Inherit 87 Reacts to a sour note 28 Sounds of relief aux Folles” 90 Patriotic women’s org. 88 Some ousted dictators 29 Flip out 31 Gives off 91 Takes potshots 90 Yapper of Bedrock 30 Like a steno pad 33 Matzoh ___ 95 * 92 Suppressed 32 * 34 Ferrell’s frequent 101 Underground blast, partner in “SNL” 93 Police ___ 37 Shoreline goo used in perh. skits 94 Puts away spa treatments 102 Bagel fl avor 35 Glutton of the grape 95 Wet bars? 39 1040EZ issuer 103 Writer Rand 36 Sheet music squiggle 96 Corporate letters 40 As late as, on signs 104 Raccoon cousin 38 Bank transaction 97 Make jack-o’-lanterns 41 Special addition? 106 Cpl. or sgt. 43 Some cigars 98 Moppets 42 Water cooler? 107 * 44 Horseshoe-shaped 99 Ill-fated Corleone 45 What an anchor 113 Drink garnish fastener anchors 100 Lisbon’s river 114 Serious 45 “In other words ...” 48 * (continues at 80 105 Bus. card abbr. Across) 115 Invalidate 46 Put a spell on 108 Putin’s old org. 51 House person, briefl y 116 Untainted 47 Humpty’s perch 109 Like some smiles 54 Makes public 117 Leaking sound 48 Go-between 110 Morsel a horse’ll like 55 Instrument heard on 118 Memory units 49 Rap sheet data 111 -born character “For All We Know” 119 Noisy 50 Pollen producers on “The Big Bang 56 Approach the jetway 120 Some studios, in ads 51 Period of fasting Theory” 57 Andean animal 52 Pre-board, e.g. 112 Books reviewer 59 Quite a ways away DOWN 60 Actor Mineo 1 Is, in math ANSWERS APPEAR ON PAGE 15D

SUDOKU PUZZLE TELEVISION BEST BETS

“Hawaii Five-0,” 7 p.m. on WCBI, new episode, taking on improvisational other interesting bits of background. WIAT. Mary (Taryn Manning) is ill, challenges with regulars , “Kitchen Nightmares,” 8 p.m. on so McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin) and and Wayne Brady and WBRC. Gianfranco had a dream — to the Five-0 team must look after her guest Nyima Funk. Aisha be a chef. So his mother, Rosaria, moved new baby while investigating the Tyler hosts the festivities. the family from New York to Pennsyl- death of a federal agent who was work- “Grimm,” 8 p.m. on WTVA, WTVM. vania to open a restaurant where he ing under cover. Daryl Hannah guest Rosalee and Monroe’s (Bree Turner, Si- could make that dream come true. Un- stars as a real estate agent in “Ua Na- las Weir Mitchell) big day has arrived, fortunately, the Italian eatery is failing, holia” — Hawaiian for “in deep.” Scott and they couldn’t be happier — but and the whole family’s dreams could Caan and Daniel Dae Kim also star. those around them aren’t so fortunate. come crashing down if Gordon can’t “Shark Tank,” 7 p.m. on WCFT. In Nick and Juliette (David Giuntoli, Bitsie turn things around in the season fi nale, the season fi nale, entrepreneurs who Tulloch) come to a realization that could “Bella Luna.” received investments from the Sharks change their relationship forever. Ad- “Hart of Dixie,” 8 p.m. on WTTO. share their success stories. Hoping to alind (Claire Coffee) carries out a plan Zoe (Rachel Bilson) makes a grand ges- join their ranks are a college student with disastrous consequences for Nick ture in her attempt to be a good friend who’s created an innovative storage in the season fi nale, “Blond Ambition.” to Wade (Wilson Bethel), but she ends box, a couple with a line of reinvented Russell Hornsby also stars. up forcing him into a tough decision cookware, two moms who have de- “: Her Story,” 8 about his future. Lavon and George signed an app to measure feet for p.m. on WCFT. This week marks the (Cress Williams, Scott Porter) get a new shoes, and two men with a simple end of Barbara Walters’ long career — perspective on their lives after meeting method for tying up water balloons. at least the daily on-camera part, as their idol, Don Todd (Reggie Hayes). “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 7 she’ll continue executive producing Grandma Bettie (Maree Cheatham) p.m. on WTTO. Jack Osbourne, TV “The View.” In this new two-hour spe- urges Lemon (Jaime King) to take her presenter and former reality star (“The cial, she looks back on that career, con- husband-hunting more seriously in the THURSDAY’s ANSWERS ON PAGE 15D Osbournes”), is the guest star in this centrating on the untold stories and season fi nale, “Second Chance.” I FRIDAY , MAY 16, 2014 | WWW.TUSK205.COM 15D

FUN & GAMES GAME BYTES DIRTY CASUAL No one will miss Voice chat is not something ‘League of Legends’ needs you, Kinect By Keli Goodson know. They’ve been vetted and at least one per- Design Editor son in the group knows they aren’t a terrible hu- By Phil Owen man being — or, barring that, any recurring non- Special to Tusk t finally happened. A third-party mod for civil actions would result in being shunned from “League of Legends” has been introduced that the group. t happened, and it was not surprising. I promises to offer integrated voice chat into the This isn’t the case with random games of On Tuesday, announced that it would begin selling a game. When you enter a game’s character selec- “League.” I don’t know these people, and they I version of the One that does not include the long-useless tion screen, you can be connected in a voice chat don’t know me. With the millions of gamers play- Kinect camera (used, in theory, for vocal control over the system as with the random people you’re playing with. ing “League,” odds are I’ll never again run into well as to enable motion-controlled gaming), bringing the price of I’d been hearing about it for a bit (and pub- someone I play with randomly. the system down to $400, on par with the PlayStation 4. There will lisher Riot Games has released information re- I’d imagine it’s different with higher levels of still be an /Kinect bundle, and Kinect sensors will be avail- iterating its stance against third-party mods ranked play, but I’m more focused on the average able separately if somebody who buys the cheap SKU wants to circle while calling this one out specifi cally), but I player: someone who plays a few times a week for back later on. wasn’t troubled until I got into a game where fun, not accolades or ranked rewards. Why do In the wake of the announcement, there was much celebration some random guy began raging over no one else these people need to talk to each other when the but also much whining, and Microsoft continuing to turn its back on our team using the mod, called Curse Voice. in-game chat and ping systems work fi ne? on its really terrible, anti-consumer vision for the Xbox One. Mi- It wasn’t a ranked game, either. It was one of the Sure, there are some cases where being able crosoft originally designed a system built to spy on you in your noncompetitive just-for-fun modes. He went on to say, “Hey, someone’s heading your way” in- home for advertising purposes, built to exert strict control over to be a jerk in-game, too. stead of taking the time to type it would save a how you use the system and its software, built for an age in which Way to prove the point that voice chat would be player from death, but instances like that aren’t people are cool with that. It turned out 2013 was too early, and for bad, dude. prevalent enough to necessitate voice chat across a minute there Microsoft was a legitimate supervillain in plain So thank you, Riot, for refusing to bow to pres- the board. sight. sure and allowing a third-party program that I’m with Riot all the way on this one. With “War- Among the whiners this week are techie nerd apologists, the would inevitably hurt the integrity of the game. craft,” mods and add-ons were a slippery slope. You kind of folks who think all new tech is good and should be ac- Who wants to play a game where people can freely could play without them, but if you wanted to be cepted. It’s the same group of folks who think virtual reality head- berate you until you actively mute them — with involved with any raiding guild at all, if you wanted sets have mainstream appeal, and so they bemoan the fact that no ability for the game’s makers to monitor or ban to use the auction house reliably, or if you wanted Microsoft no longer requiring consumers to get a Kinect camera the jerks? to run a dungeon with random people and not get with every Xbox One is a setback for the advancement of gaming. If a player is being a jerk via chat, you can mute raged at, you had add-ons. At least 10 of them. Or something. them and then report them at the end of the game. The thing I like most about “League” is that it Over on #SportsTwitter there was a running joke for a while With enough reports of bad behavior, a player will is incredibly easy to dive in to. You don’t have to about , the oft-maligned quarterback for the New get punished through suspension or banning. Riot worry about installing mods and making sure York Jets. That guy was the starter for four years before missing can’t do this with jerks over voice chat. they’re updated. If you’re not playing serious this past season with an injury, and even when the Jets were good Do I hate voice chat? Of course not. modes, you don’t have to constantly look up strat- it wasn’t really because of him. And when the Jets were bad, it I made liberal use of it during my “Warcraft” egies or theorycrafting. You just log in and play. certainly was in large part because he just wasn’t very good or days, and I still make use of it when I play Which is why I’m seriously rethinking my deci- capable of canceling out deficiencies at other positions. On his “League” with friends. The people I voice chat sion to dabble in “Warcraft” again, but more on best days, Mark Sanchez was pretty mediocre, and that’s the story with are people I know, or people my friends that next week. I of Kinect as well. In truth, there are two reasons Microsoft is dropping the Kinect: They have some kind of user metadata that says the people who have an Xbox One don’t use the Kinect features like voice and gesture control all that much; and there aren’t enough games that require Sudoku and crossword puzzles ap- Kinect, either in release or development, to justify the surcharge in pear on Page 14D. Thursday’s Sudo- the long term. ku answers are below, and today’s And whose fault is that? Even if you want to bemoan the seeming crossword answers are at right. abandonment of Kinect, can you really blame Microsoft for this hap- pening? The fi rst-generation Kinect for the was released in 2010. Developers have had a long time to work with it, and still there’s nothing worthwhile there except dancing and fi tness games. You could say Microsoft should have led the way, but Kinect was never about the games for them, anyway. Still, the idea that we all should suffer for the sake of tech that is four years old and has proven to be mostly useless for consumers in that time is hilarious. Kinect absolutely had its chance, and it’s certainly not the fault of consumers that nobody could fi gure out what to do with it. It doesn’t justify its expense today, and Microsoft continuing to cling to it would have been a bad look. Period. I

Phil Owen is a freelance critic and columnist. PUZZLE ANSWERS