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Discerning Cohabitation: Amoris Laetitia in the United States of America

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Discerning Cohabitation: Amoris Laetitia in the United States of America Mary Catherine O’Reilly-Gindhart Discerning Cohabitation: Amoris Laetitia in the United States of America In the United States today, about 18 million people are living with an unmarried partner in cohabitation.1 Almost a quarter of these people are over the age of fifty years old.2 The rate of cohabiting (even for Catholics) is nothing new either, and it is seen as an acceptable and realistic living situation by many millennials in the United States.3 What then does this mean for the Catholic Church in the United States? In 2016, Pope Francis published his Apostolic Exhortation, Amoris laetita, which was received with great positivity by Americans as well as by people from all over the world. This Exhortation gave special consideration to couples in “irregular situations” in paragraphs 293 through 312, and calls for a new pastoral and personal discernment on the topics of divorced, remarried and cohabiting couples. However, the terms of pastoral and personal discernment are very ambig- uous to say the least, and certain American Catholic archdioceses, including my own in Philadelphia, have taken a stance against these considerations, which Pope Francis has outlined. Therefore, focusing on the issue of cohabitation, certain­ questions still remain; how is Pope Francis’s Apostolic Exhortation supposed to be carried out in Catholic parishes in America, and what do pastoral and personal discernment really mean? What does Amoris laetitia say about cohabitation? What are the reactions from the bishops around the United States? I plan to address these questions in three sections. First, I will outline a general overview of the cohabitation statistics in the United States of America focusing on older couples as well as the millennial generation. Second, I will examine sections 293 through 312 in Amoris laetitia and define Pope Francis’s vision on the personal and pasto- ral discernment of couples in “irregular situations”, especially in regards to cohab- itation. Third, I will also give an overview of the reactions to Amoris laetitia on the topic of cohabitation by bishops from two archdioceses. In the third section I will also offer my own thoughts concerning Pope Francis’s approach to “irregu- lar situations” in Amoris laetitia and give my own suggestions on how the United States bishops should receive this new exhortation. 1 P. Reaney: “More Americans 50 Years and Over Are Cohabiting, Research Shows”, http:// www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-cohabitation-idUSKBN1782RI; accessed 24.04.2017. 2 Ibid. 3 “Majority of Americans Now Believe in Cohabitation”, July 24, 2016, https://www.barna.com/ research/majority-of-americans-now-believe-in-cohabitation/; accessed 25.04.2017. Marriage, Families & Spirituality 23, 39-51. doi: 10.2143/INT.23.1.3239898 39 © 2017 by INTAMS/Peeters. All rights reserved Marriage, Families & Spirituality 23 (2017) 1. Cohabitation in the United States of America It is important to comprehend the vast number of Americans affected by the issue of cohabitation in Pope Francis’s Apostolic Exhortation. Therefore, this sec- tion will provide statistics and information on cohabitation in the United States in order to visualize the relevance of Pope Francis’s Exhortation. Cohabitation is at a record high in the United States and for many it is the new norm. In a recent study by the Pew Research Center, seven percent of all adults in the United States were cohabiting in 2016,4 and fourteen percent of Americans between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-four were cohabiting, which is the highest among the age groups that the Pew Research Center analyzed.5 In 2016, the number of adults living in cohabitation aged 18 to 34 rose to 8.7 million people, from 7.2 million in 2015. In 2017, the Pew Research Center came out with new numbers concerning cohabiting couples over the age of fifty years old. In their report from April 2017, the number of cohabiting adults aged fifty years or older had risen by seventy-five percent since 2007.6 This is significant, since it shows cohabitation is no longer frowned upon or unaccepted by Americans across the country and across age ranges. According to the Barna Group, “The majority of American adults believe cohabitation is generally a good idea. Two thirds of adults (65 %) either strongly or somewhat agree that it’s a good idea to live with one’s significant other before getting married, compared to one-third (35 %) who either strongly or somewhat disagree.”7 What about numbers of cohabiting Catholics? There is a 2014 report from the Pew Research Center on “younger millennial Catholics”. The age range for their research targeted Catholics between the ages of 18 to 29. The research found twelve percent of younger millennial Catholics are currently living with a partner and are unmarried (cohabiting).8 Six percent are married, one percent are divorced or separated, and less than one percent widowed.9 Although this research does not include every single young millennial Catholic in the United States, it does give a good base point. Out of these same Catholics sampled, only twenty-six percent said they went to mass once a week while twenty-one percent said they never or seldom attend mass, and fifty-three percent said they went to mass once or twice a month or a few times per year.10 Therefore, it is interesting to also consider, what 4 R. Stepler: “Number of U.S. Adults Cohabiting with a Partner Continues to Rise, especially among those 50 and Older”, http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/04/06/number-of-u- s-adults-cohabiting-with-a-partner-continues-to-rise-especially-among-those-50-and-older/; accessed 23.04.2017. 5 Ibid. 6 Ibid. 7 “Majority of Americans Now Believe in Cohabitation”. 8 “Younger Millennials Who Are Catholic”, May 30, 2014, http://www.pewforum.org/religious- landscape-study/religious-tradition/catholic/generational-cohort/younger-millennial/; accessed 25.04.2017. 9 Ibid. 10 Ibid. 40 M.C. O’Reilly-Gindhart does being “Catholic” mean to millennials? Cohabitation is only likely to grow in the United States, and it is already growing at an extremely fast pace for adults over the age of fifty. Therefore, this issue is one of the reasons why the Catholic Church in the United States has begun discussing the message of Pope Francis’s Amoris laetitia, concerning cohabitation. However, a problem that has already become visible in the Catholic Church of the United States is the varied receptions concerning Amoris laetitia and how to understand the pastoral and personal dis- cernment and mercy that Pope Francis implores. 2. Cohabitation and Irregular Situations in Amoris Laetitia In Amoris laetitia, Pope Francis offers a new approach to Catholics who find themselves in “irregular situations”. His suggestion for these Catholics? Pastoral and personal discernment. Although these are not new methods within Catholic pastoral care, Pope Francis offers new encouragement on how parishes can be proactive in including more members of their parish community, who may have felt previously unaccepted due to their “irregular situations” of being divorced, remarried, and cohabiting persons. Amoris laetitia is a document that has capti- vated not only theologians since its publication, but it has also invoked the atten- tion of lay Catholics, who find themselves in what the church deems “irregular situations”, or “situations of weakness or imperfection”.11 I will now give a general overview of Pope Francis’s remarks on Catholics in “irregular situations”, primar- ily focusing on the issue of cohabitation. The sections of Amoris laetitia that I will primarily reference are paragraphs 293 through 294 under the heading, “Grad- ualness in Pastoral Care” as well as paragraphs 296 through 312 from the section “The Discernment of Irregular Situations”. In the section, “The Discernment of Irregular Situations”, Pope Francis indi- cates that the way of the Catholic Church is not to condemn anyone forever, but to bestow mercy on those who ask for it.12 When assessing various cases, Pope Francis says pastors should avoid judgement and be attentive to how peo- ple are experiencing distress in their unique situations.13 He continues: “It is a matter of reaching out to everyone, of needing to help each person find his or her proper way of participating in the ecclesial community and thus to experi- ence being touched by an ‘unmerited, unconditional and gratuitous’ mercy.” (AL 297) Mercy is a central theme that is noted several times within this section of the Exhortation, and I will address its connection to Pope Francis’s emphasis of pastoral and personal discernment later on in this section. What is evident in the beginning of this section of “The Discernment of Irregular Situations” is the 11 Pope Francis: Amoris Laetitia, Post-Synodal Exhortation, March 19, 2016 [AL], https:// w2.vatican.va/content/dam/francesco/pdf/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_ esortazione-ap_20160319_amoris-laetitia_en.pdf, §296; accessed 16.04.2017. 12 Ibid. 13 Ibid. 41 Marriage, Families & Spirituality 23 (2017) church’s intention to build a bridge to Catholics who have possibly felt alienated or cast out due to their individual situations. Pope Francis is clear that his mer- ciful tone and non-judgmental approach to people living in “irregular situations” is not to be mistaken for leniency or a change in church tradition. He further asserts his message saying, In considering a pastoral approach towards people who have contracted a civil marriage, who are divorced and remarried, or simply living together, the Church has the responsibil- ity of helping them understand the divine pedagogy of grace in their lives and offering them assistance so they can reach the fullness of God’s plan for them,’ something which is always possible by the power of the Holy Spirit.
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