Faithfulness in the Home Said, in Order Is to Please God

The HOME where the Faithfulness Spirit dwells “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, In the Home joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22, 23) (Galatians 5:22, 23a).

In this era of easy divorces and broken which pleases God. A family might maintain homes, we search desperately for an answer to a fairly pleasant home without acknowledging questions like “How can my marriage last?”; the existence of God or without the presence of “How can my home be happy?”; “How can fam- Christ. However, without faithfulness, it is im- ily relationships be fulfilling?” The answer to all possible for a family to have a home which these questions lies in the people who inhabit pleases God and is favored by Him (see Hebrews the home. If the members of a family are truly 11:6). Christian, bearing the fruit of the Spirit, the home What is this characteristic rendered “faith” will be lasting, happy, and fulfilling. What is the in the KJV and “faithfulness” in the NASB and “fruit of the Spirit”? Paul wrote, “But the fruit of other versions? The Greek word pi÷stiß (pistis), the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, the usual word for “faith,” suggests the ideas of goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; “absolute trust, absolute self-surrender, absolute against such things there is no law” (Galatians confidence, absolute obedience in regard to Jesus 5:22, 23). Christ.”1 Our previous lessons have shown that the In addition, this word and the related home can be happy if we are truly Christian by adjective pisto/ß (pistos) have to do with our applying the various aspects of the fruit of the relationships with others. In that connection, Spirit to the home. We have come to the seventh when the word pistis applies to the relation attribute of the fruit of the Spirit: faith or faithful- ship between person and person, the word is ness. Faithfulness provides the foundation for God’s equivalent to “faithfulness.” William Barclay favor. We need faith and faithfulness in the home said, in order is to please God. We are familiar with the idea that faith is the . . . it is the quality of reliability, trustworthi- ness, which makes a man a person on whom foundation of the Christian life. Jesus said to we can utterly rely and whose word we can Peter, after Peter confessed faith in Him, “Upon utterly accept. . . . it will often appear that the 2 this rock I will build My church” (Matthew best translation of all is simply loyalty. 16:18). Faith in Christ, therefore, is a part of the church’s foundation. Faith (belief) is the first “Loyalty” or “faithfulness,” then, is perhaps the best way to define the word used in this pas- requirement to become a Christian (Mark 16:16; Acts 8:37; 16:31). Then, to the foundation of sage. faith, all other Christian virtues are added The quality of faithfulness must be taught (2 Peter 1:5–7). In a similar way, we might say and practiced in three areas if the home is to that faithfulness forms the foundation of the please God. home. 1 However, we can say more than that. We William Barclay, Flesh and Spirit: An Examination of Galatians 5:19–23 (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Book House, can go on to affirm that faithfulness is the foun- 1962), 107–8. dation of the truly Christian home, the home 2Ibid., 108.

1 FAITHFULNESS in fulfilling Why Are People Unfaithful Responsibilities To Their Mates? First, the home must emphasize faithfulness Societal acceptance. We live among people in fulfilling responsibilities. The adjective pistos who indulge in adultery and fornication, who is sometimes used of faithfulness in meeting have affairs, and who cheat on their wives or responsibilities—for instance, at work. The Scrip- husbands. In spite of our desire to do right, we tures show that stewards must be “trustworthy” may be tempted by peer pressure to be like (1 Corinthians 4:2; “faithful”; KJV). A steward everyone else. To say the least, we may, almost put in charge of his master’s household was subconsciously, be persuaded by those around spoken of as “faithful” (Matthew 24:45; Luke us to think that adultery is not really all that 12:42), and the servant who does well will be bad. pronounced “good and faithful” (Matthew 25:21, Easy divorce. In many societies today, divorce 23; see Luke 19:17). In addition, those who ful is no longer considered a disgrace. Adultery is fill the ministry of the gospel are spoken of as not thought of as terribly evil if it results “only” “faithful.”3 in divorce. Too many workers today are not “faithful” Media influence. The entertainment industry or loyal in this sense. Many employers affirm constantly portrays people indulging in affairs that employees cannot be depended on to come without suffering any evil consequences. Such to work or to arrive at work on time or to keep affairs are frequently presented—whether or not working at their jobs when they are not being they cause divorce or lead to new marriages— watched. as beautiful, loving relationships that are more Where are children to learn the kind of loy- fulfilling and enjoyable than the marriage rela- alty and faithfulness required to be good em tionship. ployees? At home! They learn by example, by Tempting dress and behavior. All around us, precept, and by experience. They need to be people dress and act in ways that tempt others given responsibilities from an early age, and to infidelity. Modern fashions are not intended they should be required to complete those re- to encourage chastity. Many fashions are sexu- sponsibilities faithfully. ally appealing. People often purposely dress and behave in ways that are designed to tempt the FAITHFULNESS TO ONE’S MATE opposite sex. The person who lives in this world Second, the home must emphasize faithful- faces daily temptations to sin. ness to one’s mate. Marriage is built on mutual faithfulness. When a man or a woman promises Why Are People to Be Faithful to keep himself or herself solely for the other, To Their Mates? that promise of faithfulness is intended to last When the world is tempting us to be unfaith- unto death. The promise is to refrain from hav- ful, why should we be faithful to our mates? ing sexual relations with anyone other than the Because God requires it. Christians should be spouse. When the husband or the wife breaks faithful in marriage because God requires it. He- that vow, we speak of it as “infidelity”—the op- brews 13:4 says, “Marriage is to be held in honor posite of faithfulness. among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; The vow of faithfulness exchanged by the for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” bride and the groom during a wedding ceremony (Emphasis mine.) That reason should be enough is often broken today. In our twenty-first-century for those who desire to please God. world, it may even be surprising to some that Because of the sacredness of the marital relation- anyone remains faithful to a marriage partner. ship. As Christian husbands and wives, we need Indeed, the world tempts people in many ways to be faithful to each other because the sexual to be immoral. relationship in marriage is sacred; it is in this act that the married couple become “one” (Matthew 19:5) in the truest sense. It is both a symbol and 3See 1 Timothy 1:12; 2 Timothy 2:2; 1 Corinthians 4:17; Ephesians 6:21; Colossians 1:7; 4:9; 1 Peter 5:12; 3 John 5. a cause of oneness. The sacredness of the sexual (Barclay, 109–10.) relationship in marriage is certainly why Jesus

2 allowed adultery to be the only legitimate cause What about the “guilty party”? Jesus was clear for divorce (Matthew 19:9). on this question, but His teaching is difficult. Because we gave our word. We need to be faith- (See Matthew 19:9). Further, the mate who leaves ful to our mates because we said we would. If we may be required to pay child support or alimony. are honest and trustworthy, we will not break These additional payments may be a tremendous our word. financial burden for many years—maybe for the Because of the consequences. Aside from the rest of his (or her) life. In addition, a parent may spiritual implications, we need to be faithful to be deprived of seeing beloved children except our mates because of the consequences of infidel- on rare occasions. ity in this life. What are those consequences? What if an unfaithful spouse remarries? A (1) The Consequences of Infidelity. If one man may choose to marry the woman with whom person in a marriage relationship commits adul- he had an affair, but is it likely that such a mar- tery, what follows? There are two possibilities. riage will succeed—a marriage based on lust? One possibility is that no one will find out. Of Since she consented to having an affair with a course, adultery is usually found out; but even married man, how can he now trust her? How if it is not discovered, there is the problem of can he be sure that she will not have an affair conscience. The adulterer is likely to feel pangs with someone else? In the same way, how can of guilt for the rest of his or her life. There is also she trust him? He was unfaithful to his first wife; the problem of having used another human be- why should he be faithful to his second wife? ing! The innocent mate Whether or not he mar- is not the only person ries her, or marries an- who is sinned against Christian parents instill other, he needs to un when adultery occurs; derstand that second illicit sex is also a sin faithfulness not only by marriages (after divorce) against the other person teaching, but especially are, statistically, less like- involved in the affair. ly to succeed than first The second possibil- by example. marriages. ity is that the unfaithful- What about the “inno- ness will become known. cent party”? The person What will happen then? Again, there are two who did not commit adultery is nevertheless possibilities. likely to feel guilty. Indeed, sometimes the It is possible that divorce can be prevented. “innocent party” ought to feel guilty. In some However, even if divorce does not occur, the cases, for example, a wife is not really so inno- marriage relationship suffers a stain and a strain cent, but virtually drove her unfaithful husband that may never go away. into the arms of another woman. However, even The other possibility is that divorce may follow. if she (or he) is entirely innocent, it is still likely Then an entire family is permanently affected that a wronged spouse will wonder, “What did I by a moment of unfaithfulness by one family do, or what did I fail to do, that caused my mate member. Jesus permitted divorce, but He did to commit adultery?” In fact, almost any time not promote it. a marriage breaks apart, the man and woman (2) The Consequences of Divorce. Even in involved feel like failures—as if they have failed this “liberated” age, adultery is still officially in one of the most important areas of life. frowned upon in many societies and, according Even if one partner is innocent, divorce does to research, remains a major cause of the breakup not necessarily provide a better life. There are of marriages. Therefore, if one of the partners in financial hardships . . . special challenges in a marriage commits adultery, a divorce is likely raising the children, if there are any children . . . to follow. When divorce results from infidelity, difficulties in adjusting to being unmarried . . . there are consequences for both parties to the dilemmas involved in finding another mate. divorce—both the “guilty party” (the one who How can a divorced person be sure of having a committed adultery) and the “innocent party” better marriage partner the second time? One (the faithful spouse)—as well as for others. unfair aspect of divorce is that the problems re-

3 sulting from the divorce are often greater for the Teaching can be at set times and places, but it “innocent party,” yet those problems may all be can and should also be “by the way”—that is, caused by the “guilty party.” whenever it is needed. Effective teaching can What about the innocent bystanders? Naturally, be unplanned and casually given, at any and the children of the divorced couple are affected. every time. Teaching opportunities can occur in In addition, the divorce impacts the parents of any circumstance, in connection with all kinds both the husband and the wife. Grandparents of activities. may be involved. The church and the commu- nity may also be affected. All suffer because of By Example the divorce! Christian parents instill faithfulness not The purpose of this study is not to condemn only by teaching, but especially by example. divorce in every case, nor is it to question the right Children learn much from the priorities they of the “innocent party” to divorce and remarry. observe day by day and week by week. For in- Rather, it is to show the evil consequences of stance, how important is “the faith” to the par- infidelity.Many problems are caused by the unfaith- ents? Even little ones can tell the answer to this fulness of a marriage partner! No wonder God said, question by how often their parents pray or read “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14; the Bible, by whether or not they take time for see Romans 13:9). It was for our own good! family devotionals, by what the parents encourage them to be or do as they grow up, and espe- FAITHFULNESS TO GOD cially by the priority given to the church in their Third, the home must emphasize faithfulness lives. Christians cannot be faithful to God with- to God. Thomas B. Warren said, “Marriage is for out being faithful in the church! If we want to those who love God and one another.”4 The exemplify loyalty to God in the family, we must home must emphasize love for God and faithful- begin (not end) by being faithful in attendance and ness (or fidelity or loyalty) to Him. Emphasizing giving! faithfulness to God is especially important for parents in regard to their responsibility to their CONCLUSION children. Christian parents have the responsi “Faithfulness” is being loyal. In the home bility to pass their faith on to their children. we need to be faithful in fulfilling the responsi How? bilities we accept, faithful to our marriage vows, and faithful to God. On this kind of faith- By Teaching fulness, a home which pleases God can be As Christian parents, we are to pass on our built. faith when we teach our children. We should In contrast, without this kind of faithful teach them at all times in every way. We should ness—faithfulness in work, in marriage, in reli- do what God required of Israelite parents in gion—there is no way to be pleasing to God. Deuteronomy 6:6, 7: Those who are unfaithful in their stewardship, unfaithful in their marriages, and unfaithful to These words, which I am commanding you God cannot be saved unless they repent. Among today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach those who will not have a home in heaven, ac- them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you cording to Revelation 21:8, are the “unbelieving” walk by the way and when you lie down and (“faithless”; RSV)—a word which is simply the when you rise up. opposite of the word we have applied to the family in this lesson. To begin to live in faithfulness to God, you 4Thomas B. Warren, Marriage Is for Those Who Love God—and One Another (Fort Worth, Tex.: Warren Publica- need to have faith. Believe in Jesus. Then, believ- tions, 1962). ing, you need to obey. Coy Roper