“Keep the Cat Free” ISSUE 1516 FELIX 04.05.12 The student voice of Imperial College London since 1949 Win festival tickets! Felix Music previews : Page 21 Imperial falls ARTS in student DOUBLE VISION experience Studying the Turner survey Prize nominations Workload woes for College stu- Page 18 dents while Dundee leads latest list FILM

Sophia David ‘good library and opening hours’, ‘good industry connections’ and ‘high quality Imperial has dropped nine places from facilities’. last year in the Times Higher Education The survey gathered the views of (THE) Student Experience Survey to over 13,000 undergraduates from 105 take joint 71st place with Canterbury UK universities who were recruited Christ Church University. The Univer- through the Universities and Colleges sity of Dundee topped the survey with Admissions Service (UCAS). Students a score of 85% while Imperial scored were asked to rate 21 aspects of univer- 73.4%, slightly lower than the average sity life on a seven-point scale. Each of 75.1%. aspect was then assigned a weighting A Joss Whedon big Imperial scored in the lowest quartile by examining the factors most closely of universities in the categories ‘help- correlated with good scores in the cat- screen double bill ful/interested staff’, ‘good social life’, egory ‘I would recommend my univer- ‘good community atmosphere’, ‘per- sity to a friend.’ The average number of Page 24 sonal requirements catered for’, ‘good respondents from each university was personal relationships with teaching just 132. staff’, and ‘tuition in small groups’. Scott Heath, ICU President, said, The College also obtained the lowest “What we have to remember is that score out of all universities for ‘fair lots of surveys are based on people’s workload’ and a lower than average perceptions, expectations and opinions. GAMES score in the category ‘I would recom- These are always diffi cult to turn into mend my university to a friend.’ comparable data sets.’ However, Imperial scored highly in He added that, “The union has been the categories ‘good sports facilities’, ...Continued on Page 3

New Postgraduate Rector’s role to be split into two positions as Imperial announces A return to Oddworld Sabbatical position and its inhabitants considered: Page 8 Provost for 2013: Page 4 Page 28 2 Friday 04 may 2012 FELIX HIGHLIGHTS What’s on Business School Location location BEST Programme CLASSIFIEDS location 2012-2013 We’re back again and hungry for A lecture by Professor Xin Lu on restoring P53’s more classifi eds. Whether it’s ac- tumor suppressive function in human melanoma cells. Open to all. commodation, books, or bikes, Registration for Business send us details of what you want Anthony de Rothschild Lecture Theatre, 2nd Floor, SAF for Engineering, Science and to sell and we’ll print it here. St Marys Campus 08 May 17:00-18:00 Technology (BEST) courses for It’s free and beyond easy. All you 2012/13 need to do is email Energy carriers from [email protected]. biomass Registration for BEST courses will open at 9am on Just so we’re clear, Felix accepts no responsibility the following dates: for services bought or sold, capiche? Good. As part of the Chemical Engineering Distinguished Seminar Series, Professor Jo- hannes A. Lercher, currently Thursday 17th May – Autumn (Entrepreneurship, Editor-in-Chief of the Journal of Catalysis, speaks at Im- Managerial Economics, Innovation Management) perial. Open to all. Contact Lolcat of teh week [email protected] for Monday 21st May – Spring (Finance and further information. Financial Management, Project Management) Lecture Theatre 1, Department of Chemical Engineering, ACE Similar to last year, you will be able to enrol via the Extension, Departmental Student System (DSS), please visit South Kensington Campus, www.imperial.ac.uk/dss. 09 May 16:00-17:00 These courses are only available for students who wish to gain academic credits. Places on all Imperial Festival courses are limited and will be allocated on a This brand new annual celebration aism to show- strictly first-come first-served basis. case the accomplishments of staff and students at Imperial. Open to all. Contact h.martin@impe- For more information and course outlines please rial.ac.uk for further information. visit http://www3.imperial.ac.uk/business-school/ South Kensington Campus, programmes/undergraduate 11-12 May 16:30-22:00

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Printed by Iliffe Print Cambridge, Winship Road, Cambridge. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. FELIX Copyright © Felix 2012.

Editor-in-Chief Matthew Colvin Editor-in-Prowling Tim Arbabzadah Deputy Editor Charles Betts News Editors Sophia David Alex Nowbar Reporters Maciej Matuszewski Features Editors Katy Bettany Stephen Smith Sports Editor Indy Leclercq Sports Rookies Gabriel Oppetit Johnny Wong Science Editors Kelly Oakes Alexander Karapetian Business & Finance Editors Will Prince Deepka Rana Politics Editors Rajat Jain Joseph Letts Technology Editors Chris Bowers Feroz Salam Comment Editors Tim Arbabzadah Samuel Horti Arts Editors Will Prince Eva Rosenthal Music Editors Mark England Ross Gray Simon Hunter Íñigo Martínez De Rituerto Alex Ramadan Fashion Editors Saskia Verhagen Alice Yang Television Editors George Barnett James Simpson Film Editors John Park Lucy Wiles Games Editor Laurence Pope Books Editor Maciej Matuszewski Food Editors Anastasia Eleftheriou Michael Krestas Travel Editors Dushi Arumuganesan Chris Richardson Online Editors Chris Birkett Philip Kent Jonathan Kim Puzzles Admiral James Hook Photo Editor Miles Robertson Copy Editors Carol Ann Cheah Iulia Gherman Philip Kent Jonathan Peek Annina Sartor Christopher Witham Special Thanks Charlotte Ivison FELIX Friday 04 may 2012 3 News Editors: Sophia David Alex Nowbar [email protected] NEWS Library highs and workload lows St George’s highest performer across London universities

St George’s, University of London

...Continued from Front Page most places that we’d expect such as in- high scores in the category “I would Sponsored Editorial working with the College to help im- dustry connections and facilities which, recommend my university to a friend.” prove the community feel. This will in my humble opinion, are some of the However, similarly to Imperial, both be realised in investments in common most important factors for academic scored low on “fair work load”. rooms, the changes to the Holland Club success. However, the one point that The THE editor, John Gill, said, and a greater Union focus on activities worries me is the low score in the cate- “While universities must never put the More student cuts like buddying. gory ‘I would recommend my universi- student experience before academic ty to a friend’, which shows most of all that Imperial students are possibly not “I think Imperial has enjoying their university experience.” “If you want to spend Discount haircuts for Imperial Third year biologist, Joe Herbert, scored highly in most commented that, “Imperial can never your whole time with students at Fresh Hairdressers achieve the same standard of social life places that we’d as universities which demand less work your head in a book, but people come to Imperial knowing More student cuts for Imperial To book an appointment, expect” they will have to work hard for a worth- that’s your choice” students at South Kensington’s call 0207 823 8968. Ask for a while degree.” FRESH Hairdressers. student discount and bring your He added that, “If you want to spend Men’s cuts £22 Imperial ID. “Workload has also been a personal your whole time with your head in a concerns, its value to undergraduates Women’s shampoo and cut campaign point. I felt during my degree book, that’s your choice. Social life is cannot be underestimated. We hope this and shake dry £28 that I was doing work for the sake of what you make of it.” year’s survey will help universities to Women’s shampoo, cut and doing work, that I was over-assessed London universities generally scored raise their game, learn from the best and blow-dry £38 and often asked to do something that poorly with the highest ranking institu- meet the challenges of higher expecta- All of our cuts are done by didn’t test or practice a new skill. We tion in the city being St George’s of the tions and greater “consumer” demand.” highly experienced stylists. have been encouraging departments to University of London at 27th position. Imperial was placed 8th in the THE Tuesday to Fridays 9.30 to use a fl ow-chart which originated in En- UCL took 49th position, King’s College World University Rankings for 2011-12 4.30 (sorry no discounts on gineering to ‘test’ whether assessments took 55th while LSE was behind Impe- and 10th in The Guardian University Saturdays). are necessary and see whether you can rial at 85th position. league table. We are only 70 metres from get people to develop their skills with Oxford and Cambridge took fourth South Kensington tube station less time-consuming activities.” and fi fth positions, respectively. Oxford With thanks to Matt Allinson and Richard Bennett, an ISE student, said, was found to have the best quality staff Philip Kent for additional data anal- “I think Imperial has scored highly in and lectures, and both obtained very ysis. 4 Friday 04 may 2012 FELIX News Editors: Sophia David Alex Nowbar NEWS [email protected] Students compete for global President and Provost health project prize roles introduced

Imperial follows in the footsteps of universities such as Harvard

Rector Sir Keith O’Nions spoke at the launch of the Institute of Global Health Innovation Alex Nowbar tion, research and translation. On Monday 30 April 2012, Sir Keith Sophia David Hepatology. stick which can detect the presence of Imperial College is to have a Provost. O’Nions assumed the position of Presi- The incidence of CCA is increasing the cancer early and accurately. He said, Where once there was a Rector there dent & Rector while a search for the At the end of last term, the Institute of worldwide and is particularly prevalent “Such as cheap and easy method has the will be two positions, a “President & fi rst Provost was launched. However, Global Health Innovation (IGHI) held in areas of South East Asia. A major potential to save many lives.” Rector” and a “Provost of the College”. Sir Keith is due to retire at the end of the fi nal of a new competition in which risk factor for the disease is infection Also highly commended was another What is a Provost, one wonders. By 2013. Therefore, in addition to the cur- fi ve students presented a global health with a parasitic liver fl uke, Opisthor- medical student, Yu-Jeat Chong, for his defi nition, a provost is the head of a col- rent search for Provost, a search for a project with which they were involved, chis viverrini. The cancer is invariably project which used satellite technology lege. What, then, is a rector? President & Rector to succeed Sir Keith competing for a prize of £2000 to put fatal. to monitor salinity in drinking water. Following a decision by Imperial’s will commence at the end of May 2012. towards their project. John spoke about how this cancer is Council, the governing body of the Thus the new leadership arrangement The students had ten minutes each often detected too late due to a lack of College, Imperial’s leadership arrange- will not be fully in place until the end to impress three judges, former Chief accurate diagnostic biomarkers. His “Such a cheap and ments are set to change. The distinction of 2013. Medical Offi cer and Chair in Health project, which he worked on for three between the two new roles is clear; the Policy at the IGHI, Sir Liam Donald- months, aimed to explore whether easy method has President & Rector will oversee all func- son, a BBC health correspondent, Jane metabolic differences between urine tions with particular emphasis on exter- “The new leadership Dreaper, and founder and president samples of healthy controls and cancer the potential to save nal matters both in the UK and overseas of the charity, PiggyBankKids, Sarah patients could provide the basis for a including alumni and industry while the model is not as alien Brown. novel detection method. many lives ” Provost will focus more on academic The competition was open to students Indeed, he found that healthy controls affairs. The Provost will report to the as it might sound” studying for a BSc, MSc, MEng, MBA, and cancer patients had distinct urinary President & Rector. Chair of Imperial’s MPH or MRes with fi nal year projects metabolic profi les with signifi cant dif- The Institute hopes the competition Council Baroness Manningham-Buller being the basis for their entries. ferences between levels of citrate, hip- will become an annual event and entries believes the change will “allow Impe- The new leadership model is not as purate and glycine. can already be submitted for next year. rial to maintain its position as one of the alien as it might sound. Indeed, it is John said, “I’m extremely pleased to The fi nal was followed by the IGHI’s world’s top universities” in the face of well-established in many American uni- “The incidence of win the fi rst Institute of Global Health annual lecture given by Sir Liam Don- “tough challenges” to higher education. versities including Harvard, Princeton Innovation student challenges competi- aldson on “Polio: The challenge of The challenges Baroness Manning- and Stanford universities to name but a CCA is increasing tion, particularly as I had to rush back making it history”. Sir Liam is currently ham-Buller refers to are reduced state few. Sir Keith said of his new role, “The from playing hockey at Varsity to com- the Chair of the International Monitor- funding for UK universities and compe- President & Rector, as the College’s worldwide” pete for the prize. It was very exciting to ing Board (IMB) on polio eradication. tition between universities for the best leader, will promote Imperial’s position present my project to such high-profi le Since the goal of polio eradication students and staff. Splitting the role of as a global university, moving it into a judges, and such an award validates the was declared by the WHO in 1988, Rector enables the President & Rector different league in terms of develop- The winner was John Chetwood, a emerging role global health is playing the number of cases has been reduced to focus on building relationships with ment potential, and infl uence of higher fi fth year medical student, who un- in international research.” by 99%. However, the remaining 1% alumni, governments, industry and education and research policy. The Pro- dertook work on cholangiocarcinoma He plans to use the £2000 to further remains elusive and there is concern supporter, promote Imperial and raise vost will ensure the standard and quality (CCA), or bile duct cancer, in Thailand validate the fi ndings in a larger study. that polio will not be eradicated before funds, and the Provost on Imperial’s of the academic programme is main- for his BSc in Gastroenterology and Another goal is to create a urine dip- funding dries up. fundamental academic mission - educa- tained and enhanced.”

6 Friday 04 MAY 2012 FELIX News Editors: Sophia David Alex Nowbar NEWS [email protected] Croquet Club dormancy debated Clubs and Societies Board decision leads to question of legitimacy

Alex Nowbar closure is “illegitmate” thus seeking to and Societies Policy. Remarkably, RCC committee members were set on reac- clubs, the current version of the Clubs appeal the decision preferably through Chair Andradi-Brown seems to accept tivating the club in the summer as they and Societies Policy available online in- A Clubs and Societies Board (CSB) Court rather than the CSB. Both Chang some of the blame; “I must say that I did have done in some recent years, it begs dicates that the CSB have appropriately meeting on 27 February 2012 resulted in and the club’s chair, Joseph Rumer, who not remind them at the point they were the question as to why they did not com- followed club suspension procedure. a decision to close the dormant Croquet tendered his resignation on 29 February made dormant that they should be do- ply with CSB’s policy and why Rumer Chang’s “ultra-vires” claim was based Club along with 6 other clubs. Accord- 2012, denied being warned of the threat ing [the monthly reports] so some of the did not respond to the concerns when on an outdated version of the Clubs and ing to Deputy President of Clubs and of closure and claimed the closure “ul- fault for not doing them is probably on they were voiced. Phrases such as “dys- Societies Policy. There may be areas for Societies (DPCS) Monya Zard’s “Clubs tra-vires” based on a Clubs and Societies me.” Andradi-Brown discussed the club functional committee” have been used in improvement in the CSB’s handling of to Close” paper, the decision was on the Policy available online. informally with Rumer in early February reference to the dispute. communications on the matter but Zard grounds that the club had less than 20 It would appear there are two key re- receiving the following impression “He Apparently documentation and training gave the club reasonable opportunity to members (3 members in fact) and had futing claims. did not attempt to defend the continuing was lacking from Croquet Club Secretary remedy the situation earlier on. not completed the relevant documenta- Firstly DPCS Zard did email the club’s Scott Heath. Constitutionally Scott Heath In this ongoing dispute Croquet Club tion or training. chair, Rumer, on 31 January 2011 clearly is not required to do so and the online Ac- Treasurer Chang and Secretary Scott The Croquet Club had been made dor- voicing her concerns about the club and “Chang is ‘interested tivities System which fl ags up outstand- Heath (also Union President) are the only mant on 8 December 2011 following a asking him to contact her or the RCC ing forms did not pick this up. However remaining committee members follow- RCC (Recreational Clubs Committee) Chair “to discuss how to reach the targets in submitting an ap- there is no excuse for the incomplete ing Chair Rumer’s resignation. Chang is dormancy review, as typically happens you’ve been set, or how to adjust the tar- peal’” Financial Responsibility form. It is also “interested in submitting an appeal” and to the club each year. The club’s mem- gets so that they are achievable. Please apparent that no one took responsibility says “The Union in my opinion, have bers argue that croquet is ostensibly a treat this as urgent.” Zard went on in no to maintain the club. Other summer clubs been inconsiderate and demonstrated a summer sport. Furthermore the club uncertain terms, “taking no action will existence of the club that he was Chair of manage to comply fully with CSB’s re- lack of understanding of a club that has leads open training every summer run by mean that your club will suffer during or offer any suggestion that he would be quirements, e.g. Cricket Club. In fact the a past history of being a summer club, active Life members such as ex-DPFS budgeting, and could ultimately lead… to getting the club going in the summer.” Activies System show a spate of incom- has reached 20 members in the last 3 aca- Christian Carter. the club being closed down”. It’s not clear Put together, all the signs indicated plete tasks across clubs and societies but demic years and has only been dormant Croquet Club treasurer, Eugene whether this message hit home and RCC non-compliance with rules and no sign of it is not until a club fails to meet its mini- for 2 months.” The result of the appeals Chang, claims he was not informed of Chair Dominic Andradi-Brown can con- life; Croquet Club was no longer a func- mum membership that the CSB takes ac- process will not only shape the future of the potential closure prior to the meet- fi rm that no monthly dormancy reports tioning club and now warranted not just tion. Croquet Club but also demonstrate the ing. Moreover Chang is adamant that the were being fi led as required by Clubs dormancy but closure. If Croquet Club’s Secondly, as to CSB’s power to close calibre of the CSB.

Imperial TEDx TEDxImperialCollege talks prove popular online

Matt Colvin

Video footage of March’s TEDxIm- perialCollege event is now available to view on YouTube, with a talk by programmer John Graham-Cumming about Charles Babbage’s Analytical Machine enjoying over 18,000 views at the time of going to print. TEDx is a program of local and self-organised events based upon TED (Technology, Entertainment and De- sign) conferences. The Imperial College event, held on 24 March, saw over 700 guests attend an afternoon of talks on a wide manner of topics. One such talk was given by Imperial student Joanis Holzigel, who discussed his involve- ment with student project e.quinox and efforts to provide electrifi cation in an African village. On the day itself, the Twitter hashtag #TEDxIC trended on the social net- working service in both the United Kingdom and London. John Graham-Cumming discusses the Analytical Machine FELIX Friday 04 MAY 2012 7 NEWS Union election results (fi nally) announced Record turnout for Imperial as controversy and delays hit this year’s campaign trail

Matt Colvin

From left to right: Tim Arbabzadah (Felix Editor), Henry Whittaker (Clubs & Societies), Paul Beaumont (President), Stefan Nubert (Finances & Services), Douglas Hunt (Education) and Re- becca Lane (Welfare)

Matt Colvin Elections Committee originally ruled that all affected votes be struck, this The results for this year’s Union ‘Big decision was appealed and taken to Elections’ were announced over a Union Court, where the decision was Results staggered period this year . The elec- quashed and declared unconstitution- tions, which saw a record turnout of al. President Deputy President (F&S) Felix Editor 41.09% of students, also saw a tech- The Presidential campaign was also Paul Beaumont: 2658 – Elected Stefan Nubert: 1809 – Elected Tim Arbabzadah: 2153 – Elected nical issue that and disagreements affected by delays as individual can- Abdul Patel: 2300 (Second Round) Chandana Shankar: 1701 (Sec- Alexander Karapetian: 1713 (Sec- between candidates over campaigning didates brought forward complaints Henry Abbott: 660 (First Round) ond Round) ond Round) that ultimately led to a delay of the against tactics used during the cam- RON: 288 (First Round) RON: 367 (First Round) Laurence Pope: 500 (First Round) declaration of results. paign. RON: 242 (First Round) After voting began on 12 March, The results for Deputy President Deputy President (C&S) Deputy President (Welfare) and as previously reported, the on- (Welfare) and President were delayed Henry Whittaker: 2629 – Elected Rebecca Lane: 1291 – Elected ICSMSU President line voting system failed to display until 22 March and 27 March respec- RON: 655 (First Round) Jack Hewitt: 1230 (Fourth Round) Shiv Vohra: 940 – Elected Deputy President (Welfare) candidate tively rather than the 20 March for the Joachim Dias: 447 (First Round) Binayak Basnyat: 874 (Third RON: 208 (First Round) Jack Hewitt’s manifesto on the “in- other positions. Round) line” view. Hewitt claimed that this Deputy President (Education) Reuben Margerison: 609 (Second was a “massive disadvantage”, with Presidential candidate Abdul Patel Douglas Hunt: 3167 – Elected Round) 11.5% of the total votes being poten- comments on this year’s elections: RON: 673 (First Round) RON: 334 (First Round) tially affected by the error. While the Page 14 8 Friday 04 may 2012 FELIX News Editors: Sophia David Alex Nowbar NEWS [email protected] College Day changes opposed at Council Heath also outlines plan to introduce Postgraduate Sabbatical position

Thomas Lim

Heath opposed the extension of teaching on Wednesday until 1pm on the grounds of students having to miss lectures in order to reach sporting events on time

Maciej Matuszewski fl exibility, with the College insisting decided upon and encouraged students simple oversight by the Board that arose on their dealings with the Union Court, that the actual number of contact hours to pass all suggestions onto them so that as a result of a lack of consultation with was abolished, with the Advocate duties The latest meeting of the Student Union for students would not go up. However, they may raise them in meetings of the students. However, he believes that this being transferred to the Council Chair. Council was held this Tuesday. One he recognised the problem the changes Co-Curricular Committee. is part of larger problem of the Man- of the issues that dominated the meet- might pose to student society and wel- agement Board not listening to student ing was the proposed changes to the fare events, with there no longer being a opinion, pointing to the Life Sciences “the position of teaching day announced by the College single block of time in the middle of the “employers observe restructure and the closure of Clayponds Management Board on 28 March. The day when most students are available as other important issues that the Union Court Advocate was board has decided to phase out the cur- for such activities. Heath assured the that students lack was not consulted on. As a response the rent noon to 2pm undergraduate lunch Council that he is in discussions with Council unanimously passed a resolve abolished” time slot, “beginning with fi rst year College in an attempt to get a guaran- transferable skills” demanding that “on Wednesday the students in 2012-13, and extending to tee that there will be at least one day College day end at twelve o’clock” and second year students in 2013-14 and to a week when all undergraduates have that “the Management Board consults There was more discussion about third year (and above) students in 2014- their lunch hour at the same time. The fi nal major change introduced by the Student Union on any paper relating Heath’s plan to, should he be able to 15”. Instead, individual departments Rolling out with the same timetable as the Management Board was the exten- to student issues”, further recommend- secure the funding, introduce a post- will each choose the time when their the lunch time changes, all departments sion of the teaching on Wednesday till ing that “any papers considered by the graduate Sabbatical position. There students have a lunch hour. will have to set aside two hours a week, 1pm. Heath outlined his strong objec- Management Board relating to student were concerns about the plans to make starting with 4pm to 6pm on Mondays tion to this change based on British issues must be countersigned by a Sab- this position separate from that of the for all fi rst year students in the 2012-13 Universities & College Sports (BUCS) batical Offi cer to indicate that they have Graduate Students’ Association presi- “[Heath] recognised academic year, to allow for ‘co-curricu- regulations state that inter-University been considered by the Union”. dent. Heath, however, explained that he lar teaching’. This will be compulsory sporting events can start at any time The Council concluded with a paper believed if the two positions were com- the problem the and allow students to learn skills that from 1pm. This would place many stu- presented by Heath proposing changes bined the new Sabbatical would fi nd complement their subject but are not dents in the diffi cult position of either related to the Union’s summer elec- most of their time occupied with or- changes might pose” necessarily part of it. Part of the driving skipping lectures and labs or miss- tions. The Council accepted plans to ganising events rather than working on force for introducing this programme is ing their sporting event. The situation offi cially make all Welfare offi cers education issues. The Council eventu- employers’ observations that Imperial would be particularly diffi cult for in- Offi cers of the Union, giving them a ally voted to accept the idea of the new Union President Scott Heath ex- students often fail to get employment ternational students, the visa conditions place on the Council where they might sabbatical in principle, however another plained that he believed that, in prin- due to a lack of transferable skills. The for many of which state that they must share their expertise. Furthermore the vote will be held when Heath secures ciple, the change was a good way to Sabbaticals stressed that the exact shape attend lectures. separate positions of Court Advocate, the funding and presents a full job de- give departments more timetabling of this new initiative has not yet been Heath believes that this change is a which served to provide students advice scription of the new role to Council. THE Skeleton Fund

This summer, this guy will cycle this guy

And in the process beat a record set by this guy from Louisville, Kentuck in 1987, 25 years ago.

Also, The entire length of this guy Great Britain to help fund bursaries for Imperial students www.skeletonfund.com Every penny you donate goes towards scholarships for Imperial students Donate at JustGiving.com/TheSkeletonFund 10 Friday 04 MAY 2012 FELIX Features Editors: Katy Bettany Stephen Smith FEATURE [email protected] Unseen Imperial More anonymous accounts of students and their experiences with depression

here are some aspects of our lives that we just don’t talk about. This makes it easy to think that we’re alone in our experiences, Twhen in fact, we’re probably not. Last term the Union asked the stu- dent body to submit anonymous accounts of their experiences of mental health. Once again, the sin- cerest of thanks to everyone who took part:

n the second year of my degree at the College I made an ap- pointment to see my GP, not because I had a chest infection or another physical complaint Ibut because of something else. In the 6 months preceding this appointment, my affect or mood had signifi cantly altered, a feeling of sadness that had initially waxed and waned was re- placed by a persistent fl atness of mood that progressively became more pro- nounced, culminating in crying myself to sleep on most nights. “She asked what was making me feel like this and I couldn’t tell her” Email [email protected] if you would like to share your anonymous experiences of topics that are not openly discussed

Upon entering my GP’s offi ce, my response to her enquiring as to how – do not remain pensive and isolated later declined). The only thing that re- on, depression is a disabling affl ic- dent I have can mitigate such things to she could help was to burst into tears. with these ruminations, for they will ally helped me was being open with tion that negatively impacts on your remain contented and enthused. She asked what was making me feel only get worse and more disabling for the people that I was closest to and sense of worth, your relationships and Being depressed is a dark and lonely like this and I couldn’t tell her. She you, the moment you seek support is also mediating with persons who had your studies and the College is acutely place to be but things do get better, then asked whether I had been feeling the moment where things start to get inadvertently contributed to my feel- aware of this and will do all it can to it will take time and it may not be a suicidal and I replied that I had. She better. Seeking support for depression ings of sadness. After letting things ensure you return to good health whilst smooth passage back to feeling like responded with a tremendous compas- is an immensely hard thing to face up fester inside you for so long, getting staying on track with your course. you once did but once you to start to sion that made me feel safe and calm, to but a decision that eventually may such suppressed thoughts of your chest Since being diagnosed with depres- be open with yourself and then with reassuring me that everything would save your life. is incredibly therapeutic. sion, I have experienced two further friends and family, you are moving in be alright. To this day, her gentle and Whilst I have described my diagno- periods of intense sadness, similar to the right direction. Importantly, endur- caring response provides great solace. sis in a positive light, by no means was when I was fi rst sought help. During ing such a consuming and debilitating I then fi lled out a questionnaire and this the catalyst for a speedy recovery “You will not be these periods, a feeling of helplessness was subsequently diagnosed with de- but it did mark the start of improve- and weakness yet again dominated pression, prescribed a month’s course ments even if there were and still are judged for being de- my thoughts and left me feeling dis- “Things do get bet- of fl uoxetine (Prozac) and referred to many obstacles. Unfortunately my traught. Again, in these moments of the Priory clinic for psychotherapy. parents did not respond in the same pressed” desperation, speaking to loved ones ter” My GP implored that I inform my par- way as my kind GP and I found an- proved to be the most effective in al- ents of our appointment and its out- tidepressants really didn’t help that leviating such feelings. come. much; they left me feeling nauseous I did reluctantly inform the college It has been nearly seven months illness will empower you with a great As I exited the clinic I felt a powerful in the morning, gave me an infrequent of my predicament and they responded since I last felt depressed as described sense of empathy for the many oth- sense of relief for I had fi nally begun resting tremor, exacerbated my weight with a great deal of respect and sup- above, I increasingly feel extremely ers experiencing what you have been to confront this thing that was slowly loss and ensured I had some rather sur- port. You will not be judged for being about positive about my life, my re- through, enabling you to provide a tearing me apart. For any person strug- real albeit slightly disturbing dreams. depressed, there is a dedicated and lationships and the future. I am now kind word and a tissue shoulder for gling with suicidal thoughts, a consis- Moreover, the Priory refused to see me caring team who will support you in more open about being depressed with someone who will greatly appreciate tent blunted mood and/or a prolonged and instead referred to local services any event. Don’t be afraid to let per- close friends and am more aware of my the support you will provide. disinterest in once cherished pastimes for supportive counselling (which I sonal tutors etc know what is going triggers to feeling fl at and feel confi - I have deliberately refrained from FELIX Friday 04 MAY 2012 11 FEATURE

describing depression in purely clini- and I felt myself getting very lonely when I couldn’t keep it together for pening to me. I got through my exams, created solely by yourself. The only cal terms or elaborating on the actual and increasingly solitary. more than 5 minutes? spent the summer recuperating and re- way I have been able to talk about my triggers for what made me depressed, I I looked for help at the beginning I remember breaking down af- turned in good spirits for second year, experiences, even with my friends, is wanted to draw attention to the impor- of the Spring term in the form of the ter coming out of the shower, satt in only to fi nd the same pattern of decline through a series of incredibly inap- tance of seeking support from the pro- Imperial counselling service and found the corridor sobbing wearing a towel throughout the year. This time, how- propriate jokes about me being ‘crazy’ fessionals and loved ones, and that my myself pouring my heart out for an while a concerned friend wondered ever, I had some support from friends which make everyone uncomfortable. initiating these steps you demonstrate hour to someone willing to listen. But what to do. And being chaperoned to and family. But isn’t it sad that is the only way bravery, intelligence and a strong de- outside that one hour a week I felt to- and from a café by my friends on their I can express how I am feeling? So sire to love life once again. tally lost. way to uni every day throughout study I would entreat you to listen to what leave. “I am not better, but your friends are saying, you might not At that point I was having very dark understand but, at least for me, trying “It had always been thoughts which led me to stand with I have found ways of is good enough. A inappropriate joke is my back to the wall of the platform in fact a cry for help. epression wasn’t some- there really but at a waiting for the tube every time I used coping” thing that happened to it. I was scared of what some part of me We’d really like to run more articles me at university. It had manageable level” might want to do. I never self-harmed like this. If you’d like to share your always been there real- as such. I just remember digging my I am not better, but I have found experiences of anything people ly but at a manageable nails into my arms whenever anything ways of coping. Loud music helps, as don’t openly discuss, such as Dlevel and I, as everyone leaving for It is not that none of my friends tried got too much, without thinking, even does taking time away from work to do faith, sexuality, body image, men- university, thought that I would escape to help. Most of the ones that noticed while just having a conversation. The things I want to do. I am hoping my fi - tal health, disability or discrimina- the problems of the past, move on and the difference in me put it down to small amount of pain reminded me that nal year will pass with fewer hitches as tion of any kind, please email icu- have a fabulous time. exam stress and getting dumped by my I was still there. I really want to enjoy my time at Impe- [email protected]. You And for a while it worked. I met new boyfriend. But what they didn’t know My department were very support- rial and remember it more positively. can create an anonymous email people, I didn’t do too badly, I had was it was the way I was feeling that ive. I saw a doctor, ignoring his insis- I have met, in my time at univer- address to send it from and any de- enough stuff to keep me busy. But as had led both of those things coming to tence that medication was necessary. sity, many people who believe that tails which could be used to iden- fi rst year wore on, my energy ebbed a head. How could I pass my exams I fi nally told my mum what was hap- mental illness is a weakness and it is tify you will be edited out. Only 7issues left!

There’s still time to get involved.

Especially if you’re done with exams (lucky you). FELIX The student voice of Imperial College London since 1949 Visit felixonline.co.uk Email [email protected] Follow @feliximperial on Twitter Search Felix on Facebook unionpage Union Awards 2012

Do you know someone who has done have, in addition to the requirements for an outstanding job as a representative? a Union Colour, gone above and beyond A club or society member? someone their role, repeatedly, to enhance the UNION involved in welfare support? Or a really student experience and life of the Union good events organiser? The Union Awards across a broad spectrum of areas during recognises outstanding individuals each the year. year; any student can nominate someone AWARDS and we are accepting nominations from Imperial College Union Fellowship 2012 now until 30 May. There are thousands The Imperial College Union Fellowship of volunteers working in all parts of shall only be awarded to those individuals your the Union from clubs and societies to who have continuously served the Union being a signifi cant party in making an representation and we believe those and/or enhanced the student experience innovative development to the work of sabbaticals who have gone over and above what is in an exceptional manner, usually over the Union such as to leave a positive expected of them should be recognised. a number of years. Each individual, so legacy that will make a lasting impression Scott Heath The awards are: awarded, will be granted Honorary Life for future members. Each individual, so President Membership of the Union, and given a awarded will be granted Honorary Life [email protected] Union Colour pin and pewter tankard with the year Membership of the Union, and given a The Union Colour should be awarded engraved. pin and pewter tankard with the year to those individuals who have given engraved. signifi cant and repeated outstanding Imperial College Union Fellowship contributions to the student experience with Distinction To nominate someone for an award, you at Imperial and the life of the Union The Imperial College Union Fellowship need to fi ll in the online form at: throughout the year. with Distinction shall only be awarded to those individuals who have exceeded eeactivities.union.ic.ac.uk/awards Outstanding Service Award the criteria of the Union Fellowship of Keep up-to-date with your Sabbaticals at: The Outstanding Service Award should longevity and excellence of service to the NNominations will close on 30 May so imperialcollegeunion.org/sabbs be awarded to those individuals who Union. They should additionally achieve mmake sure you get yours in early!

A student is doing a project on what you do to minimise your environmental impact, what your motivations are for doing so and what you think Imperial could do to make it easier for you. Your answers will be fed directly to the College to make the improvements that you want to see and let them know what initiatives you’d take part in. The survey is ten questions long and you can fi ll it out here:

surveymonkey.com/s/QL6GQ7R y inkk abouta WhatW dod you  bility? sustainability?sustaina

How can Imperial help you to live more sustainably? Fill out  e shorth survey andd help us fifi dnd awayt to minimise youryour environmentalenvironmental impact.impact.

imperialcollegeunion.org 14 Friday 04 may 2012 FELIX Comment Editors: Tim Arbabzadah Sam Horti COMMENT [email protected] FELIX My view on the elections To vote or not to vote: what’s the problem?

So somebody’s been elected London Mayor, apparently. When it comes down to those gosh darn Thursday elections, Felix finds itself in the unenviable posi- tion of not being able to report on who Abdul Patel won. Anyway, as tempting as it might have been for Felix to run an incredibly would like to start off by saying localised and ultimately wildly inac- from the bottom of my heart that curate exit poll, we didn’t particularly this note is not designed to of- wish to tempt fate. What is fact, howev- fend. I was urged to write this for er, is the potential clout that students my own peace of mind and also had in the vote. With nearly 450,000 Ifor those who put their hearts and souls London-based students eligible to list into supporting me. I hope to clarify their preferences for Mayor of London some events of the election, which may and members of the London Assembly, not have come to light. Lastly, I would a real difference could have been made also like to state that I would have re- RON came last after a strong campaign for President. He has Hermione, so doesn’t care to the results if all were to stand up leased a similar article had the outcome and be counted. Of course, this wasn’t of the election been different. entirely the case. As you probably know, I ran for of the comments on that article were ‘bloody pathetic’ amongst other things The ability for students to be able to Union President during March. One fallacious and with malicious intent; in emails (proof can be supplied on re- vote for Mayor of London is something of the primary reasons for me running someone went as far as accusing me of quest). It got so bad that he reduced this that should be seized with both hands. was that I was fed up with the way the having a criminal record and another of person to tears after a Union court case. The manifesto points of the candidates College and departments were treating bringing the college to disrepute dur- Seeing this I confronted him about his have a real difference in the day-to- some of the students, with low reported ing my time in Texas (which in fact actions. In response, he fi led two com- day lives of Londoners. Yet, there are student satisfaction affecting the uni- goes against the praise I received from plaints against me to the college tu- inevitably those who didn’t go to the versity’s position in the national league the International Offi ce for my work tors for homophobia and intimidation, polling booth. One prevalent excuse tables. I also opposed the neglect some there). At the time I did not know how based on what other people put on my from those I’ve discussed the election students were receiving, such as the to respond to this form of sabotage and, Facebook page. After realising that the with was that they simply “couldn’t be absurdly small grants – compared to maybe to my detriment, I felt it didn’t evidence was weak and he was over- bothered”. Is this really acceptable? other societies in the Union – given to warrant a response so decided to con- reacting, the college tutors dismissed It’s one thing to vote for a candidate the OSC, which supports International centrate on my own positive campaign. his accusations. for a reason, but not being aware when students. I believed I could have made a Another topic that has perplexed I did, on multiple occasions, appeal the decision makes a real difference tangible change. many people is the negative campaign- to the election committee and the re- to life in London? That’s another thing What should have been an enjoy- ing through the use of Twitter, most turning offi cer about these unsavoury entirely. able campaign soon turned sour due to notably, from ex-ICU president Alex tactics and if anything could be done There’s also the issue that the con- the amount of negative campaigning I Kendall. During the live ‘Meet the Can- to prevent members of the opposi- test has been veering towards a war faced during those weeks. One of my didates’ show on the elections webpage, tion’s campaign team from spreading of words and personality, much to its opposition’s campaign team actively live tweets were displayed on the side these libellous and malicious rumours. detriment. From the usual Boris gaffes went around spreading false rumours for all to see. During which, Kendall Almost all of my appeals were readily to the much debated Ken tax affair about me such as: I was suspended from accused me of being disciplined by the dismissed and the impression I got was there has been distressingly few prop- my posts and banned from lectures, college. This unfounded lie was in due that there was a huge bias against me. It er discussions and debate between amongst others. Furthermore, they ac- course dealt with by the Union and as was as if the selection had already been candidates that didn’t descend into cused me of being a racist and sexist, such Kendall had to issue an apology made on who was to become the new mud slinging. Even the live debates despite my blunt demeanour this is a tweet under the instruction of the re- President before the election had even have been little more than candidates completely false accusation and ex- turning offi cer, Michael Foster. How- started. When having the audacity to attacking other candidates. It’s little tremely offensive. I appreciate that the ever, the apology tweet acknowledging attempt something different by parad- wonder that while there are those who opposing candidate had limited con- that what he said wasn’t true only came ing through campus with a megaphone fervently oppose candidates, there are trol over what his campaign team were a couple of days after the initial one so (which is a common occurrence in other those who simply can’t make head nor spreading, but questions must be asked, the damage was already done and, due universities during campaign week) I tail of the situation. And this isn’t a when he allegedly said to a few of his to the high profi le of the author, the was issued with a fi ne and threatened situation that we should be in. friends ‘I am going to fi nd out all the original tweet had a signifi cant detri- with, amongst other things, disqualifi - An issue connected to this election dirt I can about Abdul’ before the elec- mental impact. Regardless, during the cation. Dealing with these complaints is and one that divides Londoners to the tions had even started. Members of following week he dedicated the bulk one of the reasons why the Presidential same degree are the upcoming Olym- my own campaign team asked me if I of his tweets on the ‘#voteicu’ twitter results took so long to be released. pic Games. For those who despair at wanted to retaliate by doing the same, page to attacking me. He refers to me as Some of you may ask me why I both- the bill, there are those who fervently to which I replied with ‘no don’t bother, a ‘homophobic bully’ and reminds peo- ered to write this article and what I hope believe in the resulting legacy. Then if I lose, at least I lost with integrity’. I ple not to vote for me, seldom giving an to achieve. I am not expecting any fur- there are those who don’t particularly stick by those words. explanation as to why any of the other ther action to be taken and my time in mind that much at all. They should be This brings me onto my next point. candidates would be more suitable. Are you boss? the Union is almost over. All I ask for caring about this and the Mayor of Lon- Many of you may have read the blog Many people may wonder what created Well then, is the truth to be released and to make don. Beyond the rhetoric and campaign titled ‘why you shouldn’t vote for Ab- this hatred he has towards me. Last year head on over students aware of it. The Union boasts trail, there are real changes that will be dul’. Whereas I believe the author is en- during the summer elections, a friend of to: felixon- about its diverse and democratic nature affecting the city we work, study and titled to their beliefs and opinion, what mine (who asked not to be named) was line.co.uk to but in my personal opinion, after the live in. came later in the anonymous comment subjected to harassment from Kendall get your voice recent treatment I was subjected to, I section was horrifying. The majority and he went as far as calling that person heard. would argue otherwise. FELIX Friday 04 MAy 2012 15 COMMENT Holes in postgraduate representation

n the recent elections one of the of concrete representation. Why should Union’s main concerns was the we have to rely on purely the Sabbs? lack of postgraduate participa- Although they would like to think oth- tion in the voting. However, erwise they come across as very under- postgraduate representation at graduate focused and it feels as if the ImperialI is pretty poor and it is unsur- union elections completely overshad- prising that they were feeling a little owed the GSA ones. uninspired to vote. The focus should Postgraduates have a different range have been on getting postgraduates to of problems, and candidates running in run and thus improving representation the elections need to make it clear how in the fi rst place. voting can improve things specifically Vanessa Hume During the elections, I received an for postgraduates. It’s no good just email urging me as postgraduate to sending emails urging people to vote. vote. By this point I had already placed According to the email I received, I my votes with regards to the Sabbati- have a departmental representative cal positions but had left the GSA ones who has been working really hard to for another time. So after receiving the improve my student experience. I’m email I decided that I might as well get really curious as to who this entity is it over and done with and complete as I have never received an email from GSA elections were online, mainly because this is what the ballot paper the rest of my voting. However, to my them or even been informed who they would have looked like. Grim surprise, I discovered that out of all the are and how I can contact them. But GSA positions available only one per- apparently they have made a really big son was running. ONE. difference. I’m sure it would have been know who to contact if problems do other general areas, which is altogether Well obviously the next step was even bigger if they had actually con- arise but I’m sure that new incoming thoroughly uncomfortable at times es- to air my opinion on the matter via tacted the students they were supposed PGs haven’t the foggiest. I expect no pecially now in the peak of exam sea- twitter: to represent. I must point out that I am major complaints are logged because son. A designated PG space that I, as “Just got an email urging me to vote a Masters student in the Humanities they don’t know who to complain to. a Masters student, could use would be as a postgrad in the IC elections. Bit department so this is based on my own The GSA does provide the structure much appreciated. And before anyone PostgraduatesPostgra have difficult with no GSA candidates to experience rather than those in other to deal with unique PG problems but brings it up, yes I have put this as part vote for #voteicu” departments or who are PhD students. what happens now when this structure of my feedback on the PG student sur- a different differe range Following this, I received a rapid re- However, as a Masters student I feel is clearly not effective and at the mo- vey. Suffice to say, it certainly hasn’t ply from @icunion: like I’ve fallen in to a big Imperial Col- ment non-existent. The union’s knee- done anything for my satisfaction in the of problems, and “The Sabbatical team represent all lege blindspot. I didn’t get to vote for jerk reaction to this appears to be im- Imperial College student experience. students at Imperial, not just UGs. It the GSA reps before I started and vot- plementing a dedicated postgraduate Elections are over now, but with only candidates running is essential that PGs vote in these elec- ing this year is a little irrelevant as I Sabb. I very much approve of this idea; one GSA position filled who knows “ tions! #voteicu” won’t be around next year. Someone I just hope that the infrastructure will how successful the next round will be. in the elections Well that’s nice and everything but I informed me recently that they were be in place to support this person be- I’m sure the Union has a whole host of pointed out that with no PG reps run- interested in running this year but were cause otherwise they will be carrying a reasons as to why this situation is as need to make it ning there was no choice but to rely on not able to as they weren’t a postgradu- lot of responsibility on their shoulders. it stands, but with student satisfaction the Sabbs for representation. Unfor- ate until next year. Basically, everyone On a more personal note, another becoming one of its priorities I feel clear how voting tunately, the Imperial College Union who isn’t midway through their PhD characteristic of my MSc blindspot is that this is something that needs to be twitter account was not quite so quick is excluded from going for a position. the fact I’ve been given this title of addressed. When this is added to the can improve things to reply this time (I’m still waiting in The elections are rerun in September postgraduate yet I’m not allowed to growing frustration of the postgraduate fact). Furthermore, HOW do the Sab- but any new incoming students will use the SCR or the Holland Club. My population due to the threatened clo- specifically for batical team represent postgrads. Apart be so preoccupied with settling in they department is tiny and doesn’t provide sure of the Holland Club and the dis- from the Postgrad Mingle and a few won’t have much of a clue about it. a space for me to work or relax; the posal of Clayponds, something has to postgraduatesteses emails from the Union President aimed I’m lucky in that I did my undergrad common room is reserved for PhD stu- be done to show that postgraduates are at postgrads, I’m unaware of any sort degree here and I was a student rep, I dents. I’m restricted to the Library and still a valued part of the student body. Cat” got your tongue? Wrote up some notes on Monday, took a past paper on Tuesday, I was revising on Wednesday, and on Thursday and Friday and Saturday and then wrote for Comment to complain about it on Sunday. [email protected] Imperial College Swimming & Water Polo Club take a break from If you want to take part in your own centrefold, email [email protected] m revision. uk 18 Friday 04 MAY 2012 FELIX Arts Editors: W i l l P r i n c e Eva Rosenthal ARTS [email protected] The Poet’s Column Cillian Turner Prize: What’s Murphy The Sunlight on the Garden by Louis Macneice art got to do with it? Mesmeric

The sunlight on the garden Hardens and grows cold, in NT’s We cannot cage the minute Within its nets of gold, When all is told Mistermen We cannot beg for pardon. Caz Knight Our freedom as free lances Advances towards its end; God, redemption, religion, the forces of The earth compels, upon it good and evil. It is hard to tackle these none Sonnets and birds descend; too light topics in a manner which doesn’t And soon, my friend, become cumbersome. Peter Cadwell did it We shall have no time for dances. in The Fighter’s Ballad, but confronts the bull head-on – the film is no laughing mat- The sky was good for fl ying ter. Enda Walsh’s Misterman deals with Defying the church bells similar ideas of Right and Wrong, albeit And every evil iron couched in the very Irish and Catholic set- Siren and what it tells: ting of Innisfree – a small isle lagooned in The earth compels, the Emerald Isle. We are dying, Egypt, dying Whether or not one could call Misterman a comedy is difficult to say. Cillian Mur- And not expecting pardon, phy’s slapstick careering about the stage in Hardened in heart anew, George Lucas’ latest changes to the Original Trilogy caused some distress veritable circus style, hurling props, scram- But glad to have sat under bling eggs and spraying the stage with his Thunder and rain with you, saliva lend Walsh’s production a humour And grateful too Will Prince which is distinct contrast to the play’s grave For sunlight on the garden. messages and violent ending. Yes, people. It’s that time of year again! Exam Murphy is the only actor but this is eas- season. And you know what that means? You ily forgotten amid the colossal set – which guessed it! Felix, like a crack-addled va- extends some twenty metres from the audi- grant, becomes a gaunt shell of its Autumn ence – the jumble of paraphernalia that pop- It’s competition time, yo! and Spring term self as we struggle to fi ll the ulates Holy Fool Thomas Magill’s decrepit column inches in the face of exam terror. But warehouse dwelling, feats of lighting that luckily for us here at the Arts section, the Turn- would put New Year’s Eve to shame, sound er prize nominees were announced earlier this design on a huge and innovative scale and week, presenting us with a cracking opportu- Murphy’s stellar rendering of Thomas and nity to print loads of photos with minimal text. the ten-odd other inhabitants of Innisfree he Sounding more like a late entry to the Grand meets as he pops out to the shops to pick his National than an art prize nominee, Spartacus Mammy up some Jammy Dodgers. Chetwynd entered the public consciousness Walsh has created an experience as well this week for her (at times Star Wars inspired) as a play. The imagination is allowed to run living sculpture pieces. Luke Fowler received wild – A= myriad of gaps is left for us to fill a nomination for his cinematic work explor- in. Aesthetically it is glorious. ing the life of his fellow compatriot, the Scot- The play’s premise and flow I found to be tish psychiatrist R.D. Laing, as did northerner patchy and at times unfathomable. And it’s Paul ‘Our Paul’ Noble for his classcial take on deeper and more religious passages were Google Street View. Elizabeth Price got the fi - a bit too tedious for this lapsed Catholic. nal nod, for something like what Luke Fowler But Walsh’s script had moments of rapid Our money’s not on Paul Noble did, but not as good. wit and jocularity that were brought to life wonderfully by Murphy, who gives a star- The lovely folks at Festival of the Spoken Nerd have tling high-octane level of performance for given us a pair of tickets to their upcoming sell-out the complete ninety minutes. show π-curious at The Bloomsbury Theatre on 21 One wonders whether Walsh has been May. Blue Peter’s resdient science expert Steve inspired and influenced by Philip Ridley’s Mould, stand-up mathematician Matt Parker and earlier plays. Misterman, written in 1999, geek songstress Helen Arney (a product of Impe- is a surreal and messy depiction of reality rial’s very own Physics department) lead the au- where the sublime is twisted up with the dience through an evening of scientifi c adventure violent and a young person lives in squa- and comedy, described by the Edinburgh fringe lor and his own inner world. Jamie Vartan’s bible, Three Weeks, as ‘riotously funny’. epic set design certainly recalls those used To be in with a chance of winning, we’re asking in recent productions of Ridley’s plays you to send us in a π-ku (think a haiku but with Mercury Fur and The Pitchfork Disney. But a mathematical slant) to the email at the top of the light of heart and stomach need fear not: the page, and you and a friend could be spending Misterman is most definitely not a Ridley an evening breaking the exam monotony in a way play. that practically counts as revision. Get writing and Misterman runs until 28 May at the Na- good luck! tional Theatre (Lyttleton). Tickets start Look into my eyes, my eyes, my eyes, no, not around my eyes, look into my eyes at £5 for 16-25 year olds.

20 Friday 04 MaY 2012 FELIX Music Editors: Íñigo Martínez de Rituerto Alex Ramadan Ross Gray Mark England Simon Hunter MUSIC [email protected] 5/4 Respect: A Tribute The Dandy Warhols to Math Rock Pt. I – Slint Aditya Narayanan starts a mosh pit in Kentish Town

he band is The Dandy Warhols. The location is the Kentish Town Forum. The mission? To start a mosh pit. My friend, a die-hard punk fan who is also coming to Tsee the gig remains sceptical. A band known for producing radio-friendly power pop hits to supplement their back catalogue of psyche- delic stoner rock is – in theory at least – un- likely to attract the energetic and robust crowd required to partake in behaviour traditionally more suited to more aggressive forms of mu- Possibly the most original of all the bands I will sic. be covering, and by far the most infl uential, Slint We enter the venue halfway through the fi rst formed in their native Louisville, Kentucky in warm up act – an electro band called AKDK 1986. In addition to reuniting for some live shows who are two drummers/synth players playing in 2005 and 2007, they existed for 5 years, break- arbitrary combinations of either instrument in ing up in 1991 after the completion of their opus, a largely improvised set. A little rough around Spiderland. Like many math bands, they are not the edges and somewhat downbeat, the music seen as purely math rock, and their importance itself is decent but lacks the dynamism that They most certainly look dandy to other rock subgenres such as post rock, which characterises good warm up performances. arguably would’ve never existed in its current form After a quick soundcheck, it is time for the without Spiderland, labels them as more than just main event. Courtney, Zia, Pete and Fathead with the audience, but are always completely There are around nine of us jostling in our im- a math rock band, but I feel makes a point about stride onto the stage, each kitted in their own in tune with their adoring fans. A short toi- promptu mosh pit and while it is fun the lack the genre itself. Math rock is perhaps not a genre individual styles. There is the customary roar let break for Zia causes Courtney to lead us of bodies in the pit is only serving to exhaust in the strictest sense of the word. I would propose of anticipation as we await the fi rst notes. through an acoustic sing-along of ‘Every Day us within seconds. that it is a sound that involves the use, primarily, Without delay the mesmeric ‘Be-In’ ser- Should be a Holiday’. The fact he messes up And then, as if our minds have been read. of unusual time signatures, and often occupies enades a swaying crowd, slowly gathering in the chords on the fi rst time only endears him The hush and the delicate synth intro. We know the more ‘thinking man’s‘ end of the rock spec- numbers. Although one of their lesser known to us more. what is coming. B D A E. The four chords that trum, also including infl uences from prog rock, songs, it is a perfect opener, gently building The original plan for moshing seems like it signal the Dandies signature tune ‘Bohemian metal and even minimalism à la Steve Reich. the atmosphere, priming us for what is to may not achieve fruition. Sizing up the audi- Like You’. As if a beast has been awoken from Therefore, many of the greats of Math rock aren’t come. Second song of the night is the rous- ence it seems that everyone is either over 50 slumber; the entire standing section one large even labelled as such by many, for example Slint, ing ‘We Used to Be Friends’ followed without or has come as part of a couple. Squares of convulsing serpent. This momentum contin- who are widely considered post-rock. pause by the classic ‘Not If You Were the Last blue pepper the audience – the ever ubiquitous ues as the band segues into ‘Get Off’ and then What is for sure is that Slint were both awesome Junkie on Earth’, causing ripples of excite- mobile phones used to create a snapshot of the the raucous ‘Horse Pills’. One of the band’s and experimental, and not a little bit bizarre. Their ment to swirl through the crowd. moment – and my neighbour is on Facebook. enduring talents has been their ability to trans- debut album, the Steve Albini produced Tweez, With over 140 songs in their arsenal, the As if savouring the intensity of the moment is mit the mood of their lyrical content perfectly features 9 tracks, each named after one of their Dandy Warhols have the same dilemma that insuffi cient without the cold proof of a picture, into their music and live it is no different; I members’ parents (except ‘Rhoda’, named after affl icts most established bands, where their a status update. have been immersed from the fi rst chord. drummer Britt Walford’s dog). This sort of humour need to showcase new material must be bal- A lone pocket of energy exists a few rows The set is over, and as we are serenaded to is another characteristic feature of Math rock, with anced with the demands of fans to play the from the stage; a drunk breaking rhythmical the exit by Zia – the band believe encores to the instrumental bands giving their songs frivolous more popular songs. In this regard they convention to leap as high as he can in defi - be fake – I feel an odd mixture of elation at titles, and bands with vocals, such as Slint, carry- achieve the ideal blend, following a string ance of the beat of the music. Seizing our op- having experienced such an exhilarating con- ing it right through into their lyrics. Guitarist/vo- of crowd-pleasers with a selection from the portunity, we charge through the crowd to his cert and disappointment at having it end so calist Brian McMahan, sings, talks, samples and new album This Machine. The band, and in vicinity, aided by a pack of eager 16-year olds abruptly. What’s that quote about leaving them shouts his way through both albums, completely particular singer Courtney interact minimally looking to prove themselves amongst adults. wanting more? obliterating any monotony as well as deepening the ambience of the album, particularly the spo- ken word, which reminds me of slowcore (another genre people have tried to label Slint) titans Co- deine. MacMahon’s spoken word is often coupled with Leslie Feist at the Royal Albert Hall repetition of riffs played on clean guitar, giving a hypnotic tone to the music with a sense of unease created by dischords and lyrics about alienation. Falling in love all over again with Canada’s fi nest This builds until, often unexpectedly, distortion takes over with the frequent use of harmonics somewhat jarring to the listener. This shows their Diogo Miguel Geraldes minder’ split the beacon of London’s live ven- Mary Chain before inviting the couples in supreme ability in storytelling and setting an at- ues into an enchanting four-note backing choir the public for a slow dance on stage while she mosphere, but this mastery of dynamics also The Royal Albert Hall was ready to welcome for ‘So Sorry’ and the upbeat ‘I Feel It All’ got hypnotised the remaining audience with ‘Let goes some way to explaining Slint’s importance back the queen of Broken Social Scene for a its seating plan all mixed up for the fi rst time It Die’. A third encore gave London a rendi- to the post-rock genre. This is a common format truly magical end of 2012’s spring equinox in the evening. The fl awless set then launched tion of James Blake’s version of her own for Slint, especially on Spiderland, but it must be weekend after M. Ward played a very pleas- into a rawer version of ‘My Moon, My Man’ ‘Limit To Your Love’ followed by a perfect noted that one of the things that makes Slint so ant stripped down version of his repertoire and followed by an a capella rendition of ‘Cicadas ending in communion with the public with great is the variety of approaches in music and David Bowie’s ‘Let’s Dance’. and Gulls’ helped by the crystalline Mountain ‘Intuition’. lyrics, sometimes clean guitar, sometimes in your Leslie Feist set the tone for the following Man. An interactive ‘Sea Lion Woman’ then Leslie Feist has this vocal gift of tickling face distorted riffi ng, sometimes depressing lyr- breathtaking couple of hours with a power- led the set into a beautiful end dominated by that place inside you that gives you butterfl ies, ics, sometimes light and frivolous spoken word. ful sweep through ‘Metals’, dominated by her Feist’s shivering wails. making the experience of watching her live Riaz Agahi immense vocal range and the brilliance of her Canada’s fi nest voice came back on stage quite exhausting: one can only fall in love so new work’s architecture. A trip into ‘The Re- with M. Ward to homage Jesus and The many times. FELIX Friday 04 MAY 2012 21 MUSIC Bloc: Bigger, Better and Free? Felix Music looks forward to the Bloc. weekender and offers up a pair of tickets

ith a new location, Arpanet bigger names, and a wider line-up In what is possibly this millennium’s than ever, Bloc. most impressive booking, Bloc. have 2012 looks to be managed to secure the performance Wa must-see for any electronic music of one of Detroit’s most reclusive and lover. Covering big dubstep drops secretive acts. Arpanet is believed to (Kode9, Loefah), alternative hip-hop be lead by, or possibly solely, Gerald (Doom) and pioneering minimal com- Donald, also of the pioneering Drex- posers (Steve Reich), the range at this ciya and Dopplereffekt. year’s London based event will satiate This one should really appeal to all almost all discerning tastes. Previously us Imperial nerds (my apologies for hosted at Butlins, Minehead, Bloc. has the stereotyping). Donald is fascinated decided to become “bigger and better”, by science and technology, and Ar- moving to the abandoned industrial- panet’s fi rst album, Wireless Internet looking complex somewhat ironically (2002) has lengthy samples detail- (in this day and age - it used to be a ing how we would interact with the haunt of London socialites) named internet in the future, some of them London Pleasure Gardens and pushing eerily accurate. This is layered on top harder than ever for an eclectic line up. A small peek at the massive line-up of empty, “futuristic” electro. Arpanet Below are some of our picks for the employ outdated sci-fi sounds to give best of Bloc., and we even have a com- an odd glimpse into how those in the petition to win two tickets! haziness. It’s hard to categorise his Raster-Noton Jaar released Space is Only Noise – past viewed the sound of the future. music; he describes it as “R&B con- the album that made techno-heads, Oh, and did I mention they/he/who crete”. His DJ sets are well known Raster-Noton are a one of a kind imprint jazz fi ends and generally anyone else knows have only ever performed live Orbital for their incredible eclecticism, and taking the intersection of sonic and vi- who’s a bit pretentious declare it their once before in their 10 year history? I’m sure he will refuse to pander to the sual art with no salt. In a sort of hive new favourite record. It was, indeed, a - R Renowned for their massive live dance fl oor live. And he used to play mind nature, its roster counts a number very good record. Since then he’s con- shows, Orbital have been captivating for West Brom - a true character. I am of artists combining the two formats in tinued along the same path; delicate rave and festival audiences since their positive Bloc.’s new industrial loca- a single unifying aesthetic of black & piano and guitar melodies fl oat over Snoop Dogg lauded debut Orbital in 1991. Their tion, combined with a minimal lighting white clicks & cuts. Unlike other A/V brooding, melancholy synths. Soulful new album, Wonky seamlessly blends set up, will establish a fantastic mood contemporaries, the aim of R-N has al- vocals are looped upon a backdrop of Undoubtedly you’ve heard of Snoop in their old-school summer anthem for Actress, in a rare live appearance. ways been to tie the two seamlessly, so minimal percussion treated with dol- Doggy Dogg, so it’s kind of hard to pin style with the biggest sounds from UK Personally I pray he’s on Stubnitz. – R that every sound piercing through the lops of reverb. The result is music that this one as much of a well-kept secret bass over the past 2 – 3 years. DJs will speakers is also manifested directly on winds you into a trance, while the un- of the festival. Despite this, he’s well be dropping these tunes all over the the screen. The subtle shifts in a beat derstated bass lines ensure it doesn’t worth a mention; his 1992 album Dog- shop this festival season, so why not Ceephax Acid Waltzers illustrated as a wall of scattering dots, lose its way. Nicolas Jaar will be quite gystyle introduced the up-and-coming get one step ahead of the game and see geometric shapes bending to the rumble a contrast against the likes of Carl G-Funk to the mainstream audience, them live? Orbital’s energetic perfor- Headed by practically-Bloc.-resident of the frequencies. This label has taken Craig and Ricardo Villalobos, but and since then his distinctive voice, as mance, complete with that all-so-rare Ceephax Acid Crew, brother of the audiovisual interpretation to an acme. hell, when you’re at a 16 hour party, well as his style of lyricism and fl ow, electronic improvisation, could well incredible Squarepusher, this stage, The correlation between the sounds and melting into a half hour trance might have been well recognised as a corner- end up being a highlight of the festi- debuting at Bloc. 2012, promises to be the picture is uncanny, giving the lis- be just what is needed. - S stone of west-coast hip-hop. With all val. – R quite the spectacle. With legends such tener a closer insight into the intricacies the hard partying that will surround it, as Nathan Fake doing a speed garage of the glitchy dance music emanating this may come as a relieving opportu- set on a stage that appears to be, quite from the bass bins. Aesthetically, one Stubnitz nity to sit back and chillax for an hour Actress literally, waltzers, this is the kind of might imagine a conversation between or two. - R full on nonsense that you won’t witness a vending machine and a type writer, in This world-renowned arts institution London resident Darren Cunningham anywhere else. Featuring (amongst a their own electromechanical language. (pictured bottom left) has been tour- For a chance of winning the two tick- DJs lo-fi , hazy house beats for dark host of others) Mark Archer, half of Mind you, this is the future. – I ing Europe since it was converted ets, answer the following simple ques- rooms of youtube generation, messy the legendary rave duo Altern8, this from a freeze & transport vessel in tion: “Which Imperial alumnus is ravers on a regular basis. I have expe- brand of insanity exactly what defi nes 1993, but this is its fi rst ever London playing Bloc?” Answers should be rienced such sets and, they are utterly BLOC, and you’d be a madman to Nicolas Jaar appearance. Presenting the whole submitted to [email protected] phenomenal. His new album, R.I.P, miss it. You’ll probably also have to be spectrum from theatre to art to mu- – the deadline is Wednesday 16th at pushes further towards weird ambient a madman to be there. – R It’s now over a year since Nicolas sic, its presence at Bloc. is truly 4pm, and the winner will be announced something to look forward to. If for in our section in the following edition nothing else, take a peek online at of Felix. The winner will be picked at the inside of the ship – I’m not sure random from all those who have the I can think of any cooler environ- correct answer. ment for some of the world’s most Have no fear if you miss out on our cutting edge electronic artists. Pre- competition; Bloc. are also offering an vious performers have included the unbeatable student deal this year. For phenomenal Chris Forsyth, who we every 5 tickets you buy, the 6th is free. reviewed in autumn term, and Bristol A valid NUS card must be produced legends Bronnt Industries Kapital. on entry. More details can be found This relatively small (despite its mas- here: http://www.blocweekend.com/ sive outside size) stage could really union, with the code UNIBLOC497. bring something new and special to We shall be in attendance and hope- the Bloc. environment. It’s not every fully providing live updates of what day you get to hit a boat party (well, we are seeing so we really hope to see The incredible Stubnitz party boat and charitable arts institution outside of Croatia). - R you there! DIGGIDY DAWG F E L I X M U S I C N I G H T SUNW I T H T GLITTERSH E I N C R E D I B L E “[Sun Glitters’] pitch-shifted vocals and chopped-up melodies create a compellingly itchy, glitchy R&B” – the Guardian A L S O F R O M X V I R E C O R D S HENRY WU& EVERMEAN LOVE LOVE T. Williams Mary Anne Hobbs Alexander Nut 4 X V I “Really good vibe” “Superb” “Sounding large!” 4 X V I

16 JUNE ONLY £3 FELIX Friday 04 MAY 2012 23 Books Editor: Maciej Matuszewski [email protected] BOOKS Will this book crash and burn? Rhys Davies fi nally gets down to reading a dated classic of SF literature

y friend read this and sume avatars to navigate by. Early on, becomes quite shallow. Stephenson has raved about it to me. I had an epiphany – Stephenson pre- tried to juggle intellectual depth with Quickly sold (mainly dicted Second Life a decade before it plot and whilst admirable, and success- by the main charac- happened. In the Metaverse, there is a ful, it is evident what he was trying to ter’s name, Hiro Pro- computer virus that is leaching out into do. Mtagonist), I vowed I’d read it as soon as reality and doing to people’s brains I could. That was in high school. Some what it usually does to computers. This ten years later, I’ve fi nally got around is the eponymous Snow Crash. “Whilst cool and to it. Reading this twenty years on, and as Snow Crash, by Neil Stephenson, was a medical student, made me giggle but I edgy, it has also written in 1992, so even when my friend decided to keep my disbelief suspended convinced me to read it, it was already for the time being. grown rusty in the a few years old. Now it’s twenty years A secondary protagonist, Y.T. is a old, and like most sci-fi , is beginning to ‘Kourier’ – a skateboarder/courier who last twenty years.” show its age. However, that adds to the navigates the deadly Californian high- charm, reading about what the future ways by harpooning other vehicles with might be like from the point-of-view of an electro-magnet on a retractable ca- From a purely technical standpoint, the past. Wikipedia informs me that the ble. Through her dealing with Hiro, she the book is very readable. Even through book is set sometime in the early 21st too is drawn into the mystery of Snow the exposition-laden chapters, it re- century and, thankfully, things have not Crash. mains fairly well paced and interesting. turned out quick so bleak as Stephenson The novel is certainly imaginative, Looking back on this book with 21st paints it. with a broad scope in mind. Through century eyes, some parts are uninten- the course of the book, Stephenson ties tionally humorous, others are unfortu- together computer hacking, neurolin- nately cringeworthy. Hiro is half-black, “The novel is cer- guistics, and middle eastern mythology- half-Japanese and carries a pair of Japa- theology. This is on top of a fl eshed-out nese swords with him at all times. Cool tainly imaginative world where pizza-boys drive armoured without trying, I know, but after two de- 4x4s, franchises run everything and the cades, I have seen tropes like this surface with a broad scope internet is Second Life. again and again, done worse than in this On refl ection, this feels like a book of book, and they leave their anachronistic in mind.” two halves. Half the book is heavy on imprint all over it. I don’t know if Ste- the action, advancing the plot at a rate phenson was treading new ground with of knots and in a very cool fashion. The a character like this but now, he’s a little The book is set in a dystopian Cali- other half feels like a very accessible embarrassing. Likewise, in the wake of fornia where national government has textbook on linguistics and Sumerian William Gibson’s Neuromancer, hack- largely disintegrated. In its place are culture. While I found these chapters ers were blessed with mad tech skills. big businesses (where franchises act (mostly dialogue between Hiro and a These days, they are associated with the as colonies) and ‘burbclaves’ – gated computer program-librarian) interest- like of Wikileaks and Anonymous. Y.T. suburbia, each with their own law en- ing (because I am a geek like that), it too; a typical Californian skateboarder, forcement (contracted out, naturally). only struck me later that they were mas- her dialogue is littered with cool lingo The plot revolves around Hiro, a pizza sive tracts of straight exposition. In fact, and slang which has now dated horri- good book (despite a weak ending). As to be smarter and that deserves some delivery boy (imagine if The Transport- this thought struck as Hiro reiterated it bly. Then again, it might be worth re- well as going for grungey sci-fi dysto- recognition. Whilst cool and edgy, it er had been about pizza) and a hacker. for the benefi t of the other characters. printing the book with a glossary at the pia, Stephenson also strives for an ele- has also grown rusty in the last twenty The internet, as it exists in the book, is Furthermore, it would be hard to redact back, similar to A Clockwork Orange. ment of intellectual rigour. It might not years. However, as a snapshot of 1990s called the ‘Metaverse’ where users as- most of this because without it, the plot On the whole, I thought this was a be better than most novels but it’s trying imagination, it still gleams. Alastair Reynolds’ Pushing Ice – a modern hard SF classic

Maciej Matuszewski such vessel, the Rockhopper, who are soon makes itself abundantly clear. ing Ice, as compared with the more with the aliens being wonderfully ordered away from their latest job While the protagonists of the two old- idealistic settings of the previous weird – Reynolds having avoided the While hard SF writers such as on an extraordinary mission. Janus, er novels were pretty much the best two novels, this leads to a great deal mistake of many lesser sci-fi writers Asimov are some of the best known one of Saturn’s moons, has broken people to face the challenges they more interpersonal confl ict. While who make their aliens far too human, names in science fi ction I feel free of its orbit, revealing itself as a this is taken too far in some places, whether in appearance or behaviour. that the sub-genre has been some- giant alien vessel, and the Rockhop- with the character Svetlana Barseghi- My only complaint on this aspect of what neglected of late. There are of per is the only human ship in range “The book shows the an in particular coming off probably the book is that the various alien cul- course, several exceptions, some of that can intercept and examine it. far more petty and dislikeable that tures encountered could have been the most notable of which have to The novel shows the clear infl uence infl uence of Clarke Reynolds intended, you do get a feel explored far more deeply. Together be the works of Alastair Reynolds. of Arthur C. Clarke’s Rendezvous with that this is how real people would be- with the somewhat open ending this While best known for his Revela- Rama and, though it might be a slight and Anderson.” have if placed in the extraordinarily means that, though one isn’t strictly tion Space series I fi rst got acquainted spoiler to say so, Poul Anderson’s Tau diffi cult situations presented here. necessary, this is one book where I with Reynolds through his stand- Zero. As well as similar plot elements Another difference is that, un- certainly wouldn’t mind a sequel. alone novel Pushing Ice. Set in the there exists in all three novels a great encountered it soon becomes clear like the other two novels, Pushing Pushing Ice is a brilliant read, one 2050s, when massive corporations sense of the wonder of the unknown, how out of their depth the crew of the Ice depicts direct contact between that I literally couldn’t put down, and use manned spacecraft to mine com- one of the cornerstones of good hard Rockhopper really is. Combined with humans and various different alien I can recommend it to you all, whether ets the novel follows the crew of one SF. A major difference, however, also the corporately ruled world of Push- species. This is brilliantly realised, you are already fans of hard SF or not. 24 Friday 04 MAY 2012 FELIX Film Editors: John Park Lucy Wiles FILM fi [email protected] Quite the ‘best’ exotic marigold hotel The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Director John Madden Screenwriters Ol Parker, Deborah Moggach (novel) Cast Bill Nighy, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Dev Patel, Tom Wilkinson, Penelope Wilton, Celia Imrie, Ronal Pickup Cecile Borkhataria

John Madden’s uplifting dramatic Must fi nd Bond, must fi nd Bond, must fi nd Bond, must fi nd Bond... comedy offers a perfect blend of laugh- ter, tears and depth. The fi lm, based on a novel by Deborah Moggach, follows a late husband’s debts had run up so old British fascination for India, par- caste system all surprise the retirees acting skillset has much progressed, group of British retirees including Judi much that she had to sell her house. ticularly during its colonial days, when in some way, with an amusing scene along with his faux Indian accent, since Dench, Bill Nighy, Maggie Smith and Her decision to travel to India marks Graham (Wilkinson), a high court mag- showing all the retirees rushing to the his performance in Danny Boyle’s Os- many more British talents, in search of her newfound independence and letting istrate who grew up there, tries to seek toilet after having their fi rst meal at car winning Slumdog Millionaire. a place to outsource their retirement. go from her much doted upon husband. out people, memories and familiarities their Jaipur resort. Although the fi lm is very comedic Each of them look no further than a Madge (Imrie) is an aged single girl from his past there. Maggie Smith’s This fi lm shows the colours and rich- in nature, the touching messages car- glistening advertisement for a retiree who’s on the hunt for a rich husband, performance as Muriel provides end- ness of Indian culture and the warmth ried throughout, along with side plots resort entitled ‘The Best Exotic Mari- and Norman (Pickup), also single and less chuckles, owing to her xenophobic of its people. It portrays a touching involving love dilemmas, make for a gold Hotel’, in Jaipur, India, for the ‘el- ready to mingle, wants a girlfriend, or views. Her only reason for travelling to message to the audience, where life is fi lm that will keep you on your toes. derly and beautiful.’ However, upon ar- anything he can get, even if it’s just India is for a hip operation. seen as a gift, and not a right. This is All in all, this movie, brimming with rival, the retirees soon realise that the ‘one night of passion.’ Douglas (Nighy) If you watch this movie in a cinema, refl ected in the warmth of Patel’s fran- outstanding performances owing to its hotel is not quite how it was portrayed and Jean (Wilton) are a couple that you’ll notice two things: most of the tic character. Although his beloved talented cast, is an uplifting tale of a on the advert, but rather an old dusty have lost most of their retirement fund people there are over the age of fi fty, hotel is a shambles, his never-ending group of people that discover a differ- building with major renovation work invested into their daughters failed and the movie theatre is fi lled with quest to please his guests and improve ent culture and develop a new outlook needed. internet-company. They decide to get laughter at the culture shock that devel- his hotel is endearing. Patel’s perfor- on life. Through shared experiences, Evelyn (Dench), around which most away to India for a break from their ops when the retirees arrive in India. mance as a young troubled man trying they make friends and some fi nd love of the plot circulates, is a housewife daily routine. The different hygiene standards, food, to restore his deceased father’s hotel to along the way by letting go of their turned widow who discovers that her The fi lm wonderfully portrays the cultural customs, religious beliefs and its former glory is convincing, and his past. Where’s Buffy when you need her? The Cabin in the Woods

Director Drew Goddard Screenwriters Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard Cast Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Jesse William, Fran Kranz, Anna Hutchison Lucia Podhorska

Usually, I am not a fan of horror mov- ies, but knowing that this was written by Joss Whedon – the genius behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer – was enough Yep, she’s defi nitely in Team Jacob to make me risk potential nightmares and watch it. And I’m glad I did – even though I haven’t really been able to the plot, as the best thing about this surprising, as Joss Whedon doesn’t do is defi nitely nowhere near as scary as without making viewers uncomfort- sleep since. movie is not quite knowing what ex- anything by halves and audiences can The Woman in Black, for example. The able. The ending felt a bit rushed, but it Together with Drew Goddard, actly you’re getting yourself into. once again expect a viewing experience characters are genuinely entertaining was still completely unexpected. Fans Whedon has brought audiences a retell- Shot back in 2009, the release date that is equal parts original, intelligent, – especially Marty (Kranz from Doll- of Whedon’s previous works will be ing of a classic horror story, with nu- of the movie was pushed back indefi - satirical and comical. The laugh-out- house) – and you’re kept guessing until pleased with this offering, whilst – I merous modern and humorous twists. nitely due to fi nancial diffi culties at loud moments were my favourite part the very end of the movie as to what is hope – newcomers will also appreci- For those unfamiliar with the tale – a MGM Studios. Being aware of the fate of the movie, as they gave the whole really going on. Goddard, who has pre- ate his oftentimes undervalued tal- group of people (generally teenagers or of many of Whedon’s projects, I had thing a very surreal feel while also al- viously worked with Whedon on Buffy ent as a storyteller. The Cabin in the ridiculously hot young adults) go to a pretty much given up hope that this lowing me to calm down after a jump- and J.J. Abrams on Lost, makes his di- Woods might not be for everyone, but deserted cabin in the woods for a week- would ever make it to cinemas, and so out-of-my-seat scene. rectorial debut and does a fi ne job. I for one thought it was good fun and end getaway, but not everyone manages was pleasantly surprised when the pro- I might be exaggerating the overall Described by Whedon as a ‘critique recommend it if you enjoy movies that to come back home as they are soon motional posters fi rst appeared. The scariness of the movie (please bear in of what we love and hate about hor- are unafraid to take risks and that are killed off by some crazy woodfolk. I success – both critical and commercial mind that I’m a bit of a wimp), so don’t ror movies,’ the fi lm manages to have not at all how they appear to be at fi rst can’t really give away much more of – of the fi lm is, in my opinion, not that let that put you off watching this. It copious amounts of blood and gore glance. FELIX Friday 04 MAY 2012 25 FILM In brief: what we watched over Easter

21 Jump Street Act of Valour Battleship Bel Ami Contraband American teen comedy isn’t A shamelessly patriotic fi lm Five far superior and techno- R-Patz decides to stick his Although retired from his life dead after all. Two rookie cops made by Americans, for Amer- logically advanced alien ships schlong where it doesn’t be- of illegal smuggling, family (Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill) are icans: real U.S. SEALs were land on Earth after nosy sci- long, sleeping his way through man Chris (Mark Wahlberg) assigned an undercover mis- used for this, which more entists thought it would be the richest, most powerful mar- is forced back into pulling sion in a high-school to track than explains the stilted act- a good idea to bother them ried women in 1880s Paris, one last job for his screw-up down the supplier of a deadly ing. Holding them back more on their own planet. Now the France. The three ladies who brother-in-law who ends up new drug. Hilarity ensues as the is the paper-thin script that fate humanity rests on three fall for his looks (Uma Thurman, owing money to dangerous two thirty-something year-olds gives us no insight into any of human navy ships as they go Kristin Scott Thomas, Christina men. There are moments of try to fit in whilst realising that its characters, and so even its head-to-head. Sounds ridicu- Ricci) fare better than Pattin- genuine tension, but it’s more the high-school they left behind attempt at tear-jerking drama lous and, for the most part, it son’s rather one-dimensional of a rehash of the same thing. years ago isn’t quite the same never quite works. The com- is, but the carefully crafted ac- performance, but the fi lm’s Wahlberg doesn’t disappoint anymore. The shockingly bril- bat scenes however, are unde- tion scenes are so entertain- sensual ambiance almost in an easy role, and he’s sup- liant Johnny Depp cameo is a niably impressive. Think of it ing that you might not even makes up for the leading man’s ported by the suitably insane huge plus. as a fancy recruitment piece. notice the fi lm’s many holes. lack of magnetic charisma. Giovanni Ribisi as the villain.

Gone In Darkness John Carter Mirror Mirror Salmon Fishing in the The only thing worse than Last year’s Oscar Best For- This box-offi ce failure will cost The tacky marketing doesn’t Yemen the wide-eyed and otherwise eign Language Film nominee, Disney around 200 million dol- do this fi lm justice. It may not blank Amanda Seyfried going this extraordinary true story of lars but fi nancial loss doesn’t be a radical reimagination of Two of the most likable ac- on a mad rampage to fi nd her an initially greedy city plumb- necessarily mean bad fi lm. the classic tale but with direc- tors from Britain (Emily Blunt, past kidnapper who has now er (Robert Wieckiewicz, on Burdened with an unappeal- tor Tarsem Singh’s focus on Ewan McGregor) form a sweet abducted her sister, is that top form) hiding a dozen or ing title, an unknown hero and dazzling visuals and stunning and charming duo in this sug- this thinly drawn psychologi- so Jews in the complicated giant insect aliens, there is no costumes, the fi rst “Snow ary sweet rom-com. What they cal thriller makes very little underground sewers during way this could have marketed White” adaptation of 2012, is get up to is dead predictable sense. Add to that there is ac- World War II, is both a haunt- well enough to pull in the big worth checking out. Julia Rob- from its uninspired title, but tually no moment of genuine ing and deeply touching tale. crowd. But Disney’s latest at- erts is at her hilarious best Lasse Hallestrom’s latest is tension due to so many ab- It’s long, with its fair share of tempt at the superhero genre as the evil queen, Lily Collins a highly enjoyable blend of surd plot developments and heavily dramatised moments, remains an entertaining spec- is innocently beautiful, and drama and comedy, the latter silly characters. Most defi nite- but the fi nal emotional payoff tacle, full of colourful images Armie Hammer is effortlessly thanks to the priceless Kristin ly one to avoid and ignore. is well worth waiting for. and breath-taking action. charming as the prince. Scott Thomas.

The Hunger Games The Raven This Must Be the Place We Bought a Zoo Wrath of the Titans A thought-provoking, futuristic When a deranged psycho- Playing a retired rock star Matt Damon is a widower who This time, unlike its predeces- thriller that is superbly acted path decides to reenact all who goes on a journey of self- doesn’t have a clue on how to sor, there are actual Titans, but especially from the young the grizzly murders written in discovery following the death raise his two kids. Wanting a everything else is a mess. The members of its cast (Jennifer Edgar Allan Poe’s gothic hor- of his father, the usually in- fresh start, he buys a house plot and character develop- Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson), ror stories, it is up to the au- tense and fi ery Sean Penn’s that comes with a zoo, to reno- ments don’t make any sense, as two of 24 teenagers forced thor himself (an eccentric yet incredibly soft-spoken, gentle vate and reopen it for busi- and despite the loud action to fi ght to their deaths until oddly brilliant John Cusack) performance is the absolute ness. Diffi culties lie ahead, sequences, the fi lm doesn’t there is one victor, whilst the to outsmart this obsessed- highlight of this otherwise including his angry son, money know what to do with Perseus whole world watches them fan-turned-serial-killer. Part slightly chaotic and messy problems, pedantic zoo inspec- (Sam Worthington). Once for amusement. The powerful torture horror, part detective road-trip movie in which the tors, and escaping animals. It again tasked with saving the social commentary makes for thriller, part period drama, it’s long-lost son seeks out the does take forever to get to its world from evil Greek Gods, he an interesting watch, but just an entertaining enough, yet man who humiliated his re- predictable happy ending, but embarks on a dull quest with don’t expect a bloody Ameri- not-at-all deep, exploration of cently passed father during Damon’s likable performance absolutely useless “warriors” can Battle Royale. the much-celebrated novelist. World War Two. keeps everything together. (e.g. Rosamund Pike). 26 Friday 04 MAY 2012 FELIX Film Editors: John Park Lucy Wiles FILM fi [email protected] My chart reign will go on and on and on Titanic 3D

Director James Cameron Screenwriter James Cameron Cast Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet Lucy Wiles

It’s been fi fteen long years since James Cameron’s Titanic fi rst graced our screens and, love it or hate it, you’ve got to admit – it’s become a totally iconic fi lm. Even now, in the midst of a dramatic effects era, it’s still an epic fi lm to watch. But when Cameron – forefather of 3D fi lms with his front runner Avatar – an- nounced he was rereleasing Titanic in 3D, there was a lot of consternation from fans who believed the master- piece should not be tampered with. As anyone who has seen the fi lm knows, while the characters and storylines are moving, Titanic relies greatly on the spectacle itself for its brilliance – so is that spectacle improved by 3D as much as Cameron promised? Well…yes. Cameron and his team of genius fi lm technicians spent long hours retrofi tting the fi lm for 3D vi- suals, as well as redoing the footage pre-conversion – resulting in a crys- tal clear picture in the new version almost all the way through (a few moments of dated CGI slightly let There’s nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooothing I fear (except maybe that breath of yours...) the side down but other than that, it’s cracking). It’s probably been a while since we ond half of the fi lm when everything all watched the fi lm, and what seemed starts going (badly) wrong. As the to many a magical performance by light character drama shifts into a di- all actors now seems a little tiny bit saster of epic proportions, almost ev- forced, but this can be put down to a ery scene is improved by the 3D tech- different style of acting. The charac- nology. Again, even those who have ters are still engaging and the plotline seen the fi lm many times will fi nd the still moving, and the fi lm presents tension increased and the panic con- an all-round beautiful experience for tagious, and the water rushing all over viewers. In this new 3D version, you the place is much more horrifi c when might initially be underwhelmed by you feel it’s really going to reach your the effects – Brock Lovett’s diamond feet any minute. The lifting and sub- search is still rather dull in three di- sequent sinking of the stern (along mensions, and the wreck viewing is with Jack, Rose and the drunk man) also not much more spectacular than is magnifi cently done, and the viewer in the old 2D version. Quite frankly, fi nds themself pulling back in their the aged Rose was better off with seat to avoid the onslaught of freezing 2D. However, when the second Rose water coming right at them. The fro- (Winslet) takes us back to the Ti- zen oceanic graveyard is hauntingly tanic in Southampton, the 3D really real and much more harrowing, and kicks in with spectacular visuals of your fury at Rose for not budging up the buzzing crowd, constantly build- and letting Jack on her piece of wood ing the excitement and momentous- is probably doubled. ness of the occasion. The effect is Overall the conversion of Titanic to not overdramatic, and doesn’t give 3D has been a success, most of which you a banging headache like some is clearly down to Cameron’s 3D of the distinctly average 3D attempts skills. His painstaking attention to of late (ahem, Alice in Wonderland) detail (every hairpin, shoe, knife and – like Avatar, Cameron has kept the fork is retouched) and his use of the effect subtle and very natural. Even full fi eld makes the fi lm convincingly for us old fans of Titanic, well-known real, and well worth watching – even dinner scenes become fresh and new if you weren’t all that convinced fi rst with the 3D magic. time round; it’s crisp, new and feels Unsurprisingly, however, the effects like a whole new Titanic. Although, really come into their own in the sec- unfortunately, everyone still drowns. What 15 years do to your face...apparently, nothing – they’re just as hot It’s a drought, they said... FELIX Friday 04 MAY 2012 27 FILM Assemble for Avengers Assemble

Place your bets everyone, place your bets! Who’ll win this fi ght? And here, we have the nominees for 2012’s worst dressed celebrities

Avengers Assemble one in the same room. And even after with that too. The confrontations these whilst also building his characters even to shine on their own terms. Johansson that Nick Fury’s (Jackson) job isn’t characters often get into show that, de- more. A lot of credit must go to Downey gets to twist and bend her body as she Director Joss Whedon quite complete. With big egos and per- spite their extraordinary powers, deep Jr., who has owned the role of Iron Man takes down multiple targets with her Screenwriters Zak Penn, Joss sonality differences, characters clash, down they are fl awed creatures like ever since his fi rst outing, and the jokes fancy moves, and Renner doesn’t disap- Whedon, Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and as Bruce Banner (Ruffalo) cor- the rest of us; Whedon, although not so he delivers are pure comedy gold. The point in another action role following Cast Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Scarlett rectly points out, they’re not a team, but heavy-handedly, shows the weaknesses unexpected surprise here however, is his impressive stint with Mission Im- Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy instead a time bomb, a term Dr. Banner they share, furthering exploring every- Ruffalo, who in his fi rst ever portrayal possible: Ghost Protocol. The fact that Renner, Samuel L. Jackson, Tom himself is all too familiar with, since he one’s unique identity. of Dr. Banner comes out as the real he’s an archer may scream snooze fest, Hiddleston turns into a giant raging green monster So the superhuman heroes are strug- winner both in terms of his contribution but make no mistake: with his wide if he fails to control his anger. Captain gling to be merry. But what about the to the team as well as his several scene- range of slick arrows, Hawkeye turns John Park America (Evans), a former WWII sol- two agents already a part of the Fury- stealing moments. Both Eric Bana and into a valuable member of the initiative. dier transported and adjusting to the directed S.H.I.E.L.D? They are Nata- Edward Norton have tried in the past Squaring off against the good guys Whether you like it or not, The Aveng- 21st Century (long story, watch his fi lm sha Romanoff, aka Black Widow (Jo- to bring out their own versions of The is the lone-standing but insane and at ers have been assembled, and the line- released last year for details), works hansson), a deadly spy/assassin, and Hulk, but Ruffalo, comically timid and times creepy Hiddleston. He has more up is unbelievably impressive; there through his nightmares by taking out Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye (Renner), nerdy before he turns green, is who tru- determination and vengeful anger this are six pumped up heroes, an intense his frustration at the hopelessly vul- an expert archer. Barton gets into a little ly embodies the role, and he deserves time around, shown very clearly in his director of a top-secret organisation nerable punching bags he has lined up. trouble of his own in the killer opening a feature fi lm of his own in the future. disturbing eyes and smiles, and it’s a who brings them together, and a villain He too, cannot be said to have a sound scene directed with fl ash and necessary As tension escalates and the fate of role that Hiddleston commands with fi - commanding an army out to annihilate mind. pace by Whedon, who knows how to humanity hangs in the balance of what ery intensity, even more so than his last Earth. There, that’s the general gist of The fact that it’s Loki (Hiddleston), start off the most anticipated fi lm of the these six individuals are capable of, an outing with Thor. the plot; the kind of formula many su- Thor’s (Hemsworth) brother, who is year. Thanks to Loki, a whole base is endless swarm of aliens start invad- The action, as expected, is breathtak- perhero fi lms put to use. But Avengers out for Earth’s destruction arouses wiped out in the fi rst ten minutes of the ing Earth, and it’s time for the heroes ingly fun, and the exhilarating excite- Assemble (an unfortunate last-minute some confl icted feelings. Thor wants to fi lm, and from this point on, we know to unleash their abilities and fi ght a ment on screen once The Avengers title change here in the U.K.) is a lot reach out to his brother with sentiment, that a) Samuel L. Jackson is pissed off, highly outnumbered war. And from unite under one common goal is aston- more than that. Joss Whedon’s mass en- whereas a certain arrogant yet bril- and b) Whedon means business: a com- previous fi lms, we have seen what Cap- ishing. The danger with a superhero en- semble, 200 million-dollar rollercoast- liantly intelligent and self-proclaimed bination that produces something truly tain America, Iron Man, Thor and The semble piece like this is overcrowding, er ride makes the two-and-a-half-hour billionaire philanthropist has a problem wonderful. Hulk can do. Although there is no short but within its healthy running time, all long running time worth every minute, with that approach. Of course, Tony When the heroes can’t quite play supply of focus on their action high- six protagonists are given proper at- as Whedon pays as much attention to Stark (Downey Jr.), the Iron Man, is not along, Whedon rightly hits the pause lights, Avengers Assemble is absolutely tention to, and Whedon fi nds that right his many characters and humour as someone who plays well with others. button on the action, whilst using every right in not sidelining any of its team balance between full-blown action and he does to delivering the high-budget Oh, and that Stark doesn’t respond well change he gets to slip in a line or two members. The less familiar, seemingly spot-on humour. More superhero fi lms spectacle. to orders? Captain America, always the generating quality laughs. This way he weaker, more human players, Romanoff are lined up for 2012, and Avengers As- It takes a while to actually get every- dutiful soldier, might have a problem gives the fi lm a much-needed breather, and Barton, are given just as much time semble has truly set the bar a lot higher. 28 Friday 04 may 2012 FELIX Games Editor: Laurence Pope

GAMES [email protected] Free Web Games A very Odd-World indeed Oh, so you have exams huh? Really, really tough ones that could determine the rest of your life, eh? Well, who cares about revision when you could be Laurence Pope on how Oddworld’s rampant industriali- enjoying these two totally awesome web games that you can play right now in your web browser. In sation makes for a pretty cracking game series order to play these you’re going to need the Adobe Flash Player plug-in, which can be installed from http://get.adobe.com/fl ashplayer/ t’s a shame Oddworld Inhabitants, an American game company founded way back when I was just knee-high to a Axon grasshopper, stopped making games. http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/ Why? Because they made some pretty Ikick-ass stuff, that’s why. So kick-ass in fact view/592325 that many modern-day game developers could learn a thing or two from them. They won’t, obviously — until reading this piece, that is. Maybe. For the unfamiliar, Oddworld Inhabitants were the creators behind the Oddworld uni- verse, the backdrop for their game series, the Oddworld Quintology, a planned pentalogy that ended up a tetralogy. Though the series didn’t extend as far as they had planned the universe they had created by the time they threw in the towel was already packed with a multitude of playable and non-playable races. In the fi rst game alone you’re introduced to As a biochemist who’s taken a course in neurosci- Mudokons, Glukkons, Sligs, Slogs, Scrabs and Unlike most other games from the Playstation era Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus, released ence (never mind that I probably failed it) a game Paramites. in 1998, still holds up to this day, both graphically and gameplay-wise titled Axon naturally grabs my attention. Would I be More importantly they’re not just thrown treated to an educational game detailing the physi- together in a clumsy, failed attempt to create ological properties of a neuron? Thankfully not. ‘richness’ or ‘variety’. The races of Oddworld placed on the demo disk that came boxed with us great effects can’t make up for shoddy plot Axon is instead a simple, addictive game in which are woven together in a credible backstory that the now primitive gaming console. (sorry Mike), just like shiny graphics can’t you ‘grow’ a neuron by connecting it up to balls of would fi ll more pages than my editor would Unlike the following two games, Munch’s cover shoddy control systems or easy ‘chal- protein, steadily increasing its length. Beyond fac- allow for, but in essence revolves around a Oddysee and Stranger’s Wrath, both in 3D, lenges’. In some ways Oddworld Inhabitants ing off invading neurons that wrestle for available dystopian society created by the industrial Oddysee and Exoddus were 2D platformers. overcompensated — both games are mind- space you’re also on a time limit, and waiting too Glukkons, who are in the process of enslav- The art sported by both games was well ahead bogglingly hard to complete, let alone com- long before making a new connection kills off your ing, exploiting or eating every other species on of its time, and has often been described as plete to 100%. The protagonist of both titles, budding neuron. Snag four gold proteins in a row the planet. There is of course more to it than early PS2 generation rather than PS1. Game Abe, is tasked with saving his fellow people, and your amacrine cell just became a trunk dorsal that, and as the series progresses more races elements were rendered with 3D modelling the Mudokons, from Glukkon extortion, fi rst root sensory neuron! (That’s good, by the way.) and challenges appear, as does more story to systems, with the backgrounds being hand- from the delightfully named meat factory Rup- blend it all together. painted, a feature that has helped the games ture Farms and then from the bottling plant The fi rst two games of the series, Oddworld: remain attractive even whilst game graphics Soulstorm Brew. Along the way he’s harassed Eggstinction Abe’s Oddysee and Oddworld: Abe’s Exod- improved around it. by guards, assaulted by meat packing machin- dus, are arguably the two games that defi ned As I’ve said many times in the past, graphics ery and a whole host of other dangers that are http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/ the Oddworld series, and in part the PlaySta- do not make a game. They help it for sure, but all one-shot kills. view/592709 tion era; Abe’s Oddysee was one of the games as Transformers: Dark of the Moon showed “Timing and accuracy are both key; miss a jump by even a fraction and you’re gone. Duck a second too late and you’re squashed.”

So you’re not into biochemistry? How about archae- Timing and accuracy are both key; miss a ology? More specifically, DINOSAURS. jump by a even fraction and you’re gone. Duck Being a newly-hatched dinosaur is (or was) pretty a second too late and you’re squashed. Secret tough, and no-one likes the hassle of fighting off rooms are rampant: in both games there’s one alien invaders seconds after hatching. And yet, this in the very fi rst screen, and there even are se- is what you are tasked with doing, be it with mini- cret rooms WITHIN secret rooms. Oddysee guns, rocket launchers, or a whole host of other and Exoddus come from an era when challeng- weapons that probably didn’t exist in the Late Cre- es were incredibly diffi cult, and going back taceous period. Deal enough damage and you can to them years on makes for a very refreshing Digimon-style evolve into a laser-spewing T-Rex for a change of pace. few seconds. Take THAT Darwin. Both games are available on the PC via This game is crazy insane, crazy fun, and certainly Steam, or there are always some discs fl oating good enough to hold off revision for a little longer. about on Amazon. Pick up copies if you can! Abe’s nickname of ‘Stitch Lips’ is not entirely unjustified (Or, at least, after your exams are over.) everynation.co.uk

SUNDAYS ACTIVITY SPACE 1

Free café – 5:30 30 Friday 04 MAY 2012 FELIX Travel Editors: C h r i s R i c h a r d s o n Dushi Arumuganesan TRAVEL [email protected] Wishing you were here Summer festival ambitions Why Benicassim should be the top of your list for 2012

Sweaty, sun-singed and fi red up on sangria: maybe you should reconsider those summer internship plans ‘Milking it in Delhi’ by Prakash Singh

Chris Richardson stages and the silent disco, you’d struggle to features of traditional Spanish life. avoid being entertained. The fact that the music The city is now equipped with Valenbisi, the I’m sure we all agree that much of the British rolls on all night also means that you can dance city’s answer to the Boris Bike. Of course, given festival scene is in tatters. Sure, if you’re willing your socks off without really worrying too much the sheer fl atness of Valencia and the lack of lu- Travel on your doorstep to deviate from the likes of Reading you might about hyperthermia or sunburn. Being a creature natic city boys on the roads, the experience here catch some acts that are a little (read: endlessly) of the night I often fi nd it hard to get my body is a lot more serene. It’s a great way to amble more interesting than Kasabian, but ultimately moving before lunchtime, making the evening- through the old neighbourhoods and stumble you’ll probably still be forking out far too much centred music just perfect. across undiscovered boutiques and hidden land- money to drag your wellingtons through the scapes looking out of the city. And of course, rainy mud as the droves of post-GCSE revellers the city is equipped with plenty of affordable continue to feel each other up and piss on your “eclectic beats, fantastic accommodation to rest your weary head at the tent. end of it all. For these reasons, most people seem to have eateries and sunshiny Benicassim ticks all the boxes for me: eclectic made the transition to the international festivals beats, fantastic eateries and sunshiny days. The on offer around Europe. At a minimum, it’s an days” international festival brings together a great mix excuse to check out a new place and meet a wider of people in an interesting place that’ll keep you variety of people. Added bonuses include lower busy until your eight day camping pass expires. Stunning skylines from Parliament Hill ticket prices, and a better chance of sunshine. The town itself is also absolutely lovely, and And if you’ve got the funds, it’s a great lead-in While there are many such festivals around these surprisingly affordable if you’re willing to hop to nearby Valencia and the rest of Europe. It just days, Benicassim continues to be a personal fa- away from the main streets into the smaller side doesn’t make sense to keep bouncing around Get there: Gospel Oak/Hampstead (Overground) vourite. Thanks to other travel plans I’ve not streets, where you’ll easily fi nd paella and san- the same old festivals in England when there’s See: One of the best skyline views of London been in attendance over the past couple of years, gria at about half the price and double the qual- more out there to see. As far as festivals go, Felix Eat: Amazing gastropub fare at The Bull and Last which is why I’m excited about my triumphant ity. Having such great restaurants and countless Travel’s mind is made up. Hopefully you won’t Cost: £10-20 for a meal, or £2-7 for nibbles return to Spain’s gorgeous East coast. hip bars at your disposal makes the festival miss out and we’ll see you on the beach for a re- Far from being just a festival, Benicassim camping experience a lot more enjoyable. Be- freshing sangria! Visit Parliament Hill this Saturday to browse one doubles up as an excellent beach holiday: there’s ing quaint and small, the contents of Benicassim of the most picturesque weekly farmers’ markets great beach to be discovered if you head a little are also in such close proximity that any form of in London and for stunning views of the capital’s out of town, and the holiday element is made navigation is pretty much idiot proof. landmarks. Situated on a corner of Hampstead even easier by the 8 nights free camping includ- While some festival-goers opt to travel over to Heath, which covers 800 acres of grassland, this ed in the festival ticket. There’s no better way to the festival with the beloved folk at RyanJet, an is the perfect place for a chilled evening out in one meet new people before the festival, or unwind increasing number are starting to turn the jour- of the most beautiful parts of North London. for a few days after the partying, than kicking ney into a bit of a road trip. Providing you have back on the beach with a jug of sangria and ri- the time, this is certainly a great way to do it. diculous sun hat. It’s also possible to squeeze in After all, Benicassim is just a short drive from Benicassim 2012 is taking place from the a lot of beach time throughout the festival, as the the charming old city of Valencia. In addition 12th to the 15th of July, and features over Planning a trip? Want some quick advice from music doesn’t even start until the sun sets, al- to more great beaches, restaurants and bars, the 100 acts across 3 stages. This year’s line- experienced travellers? Have a travelling tale to lowing you to recover from the night before and city has countless interesting things to check up features the legendary Bob Dylan and share with Imperial? kick-start yourself for the evening’s affairs. out. Beyond its incredible exterior, the City of New Order, recently reunited Stone Roses, Drop us an email at [email protected], or And let’s not forget the music. Rather than Arts and Science offers a slightly different angle Florence and the Machine, and a huge send us a tweet using #FelixTravel honing in on vegan crunk or moombahton in on the topics covered at the institutions around list of other brilliant acts from across the particular, the festival offers an eclectic mix of South Ken, and neighbourhoods like the Barri globe. For tickets and further information sounds to cater for all palettes. Between the three del Carme manage to capture so well the iconic visit FiberFib.com or contact the Editor. FELIX Friday 04 may 2012 31 Puzzles Admiral: James Hook

[email protected] PUZZLES Cryptic Crossword 1,516

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5 4 Across Down 1 3 1 1 In the kitchen, Edward mixed and 1 Army sounds honest but quiet (5) 3 condensed (9) 2 That is, about a hundred diamonds (3) 6 Enjoyable government issue mush- 3 Artist comes between king and the 1 1 rooms (5) mayor’s sea-monsters (7) 9 Nothing before large end (5) 4 Point on alleged seer earns no money 10 Brutally slain with talons (5) (3-6) 8 3 11 Twitch twitch in twitch (3) 5 Float into 500th fissure (5) 12 First lord swallows charged atom (7) 6 Angle ten back in draughty stockings 2 4 1 14 Puzzle over anagram without a fi rst (4,3) thought (7) 7 Annotator doesn’t hesitate (5) 7 5 1 15 Tramps in league with psycho boss 8 Lying about earnings is crooked, it (5) seems (9) 16 Cold damage scrambles to be fi rst 13 Revolution rather than piece? (5) 3 2 3 (9) 15 Chief nobleman numbers a group 19 Southern volunteer with Catholic in (4,5) caper (9) 17 Instruments from sun god after gold It’s back with a vengeance. broken lines of filled-in squares there yield a worthwile picture, seeing as our 21 Be allowed onto atoll (5) chest (9) The cells in a grid have to be coloured are in any given row or column. Look at artistic skills are suffering from near 22 Fish boat in garage (3,4) 18 I go around truncated low ice house or left blank according to numbers at last week’s solution to see what a typi- constant revision. 25 Rotate pi to mecca to uncover con- (5) the side of the grid. cal solution looks like. As usual, answers to puzzles.felix@ densed work (7) 20 Proper drink for about a pound a The numbers measure how many un- This week, the overall solution won’t imperial.ac.uk. 27 Allegedly works to deserve a vase litre in the east (4,3) (3) 21 Cecil is confused about stalactites 28 A piece in pieces (5) (7) 29 Seam containing a gram to register 23 Nur (3,2) (5) 24 One thousand rang for a stripped 31 Twentieth sword in tent (5) whale carcass (5) It’s Murdoch O’Clock! 32 Weed source foundation (5,4) 26 Choose to let the European commu- nity disperse (5) 30 Head off after the German pair (3) #1 #2 #3

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The Felix University/College-Wide Invita- The competition is hotting up, each wave of Rupert and James can’t quite tional Tournament League is both new and solutions more climactic than the last. Can recall who to talk about at the improved, with prizes for both the winning you really afford to miss out? Leveson Inquiry. Help them to team and the winning individual. Points are awarded for each puzzle solved, Send your solutions to puzzles.felix@impe- remember the following celeb- double if you’re the fi rst correct solution. rial.ac.uk! rities! Answers on a postcard to [email protected]. BACKISSUE 1516 PAGE04.05.12 Recession hits Sport section Back page “shadow of its former self”, says Sport Editor

he world of sport was answered. And then lessons need to be a recession brings to the local food and plunged into turmoil this learnt too.” drink industry. week when it emerged “I’m really excited about the return that Britain’s descent into of those Credit Crunch Lunches they do a double-dip recession has around South Kensington. I don’t even Tshaken the confi dence of those working care if they cost the same as any other on Felix Sport. “We deal in sport every I’m really excited meal usually does, they really capture day and we know when it’s on shaky the zeitgeist of impending fi nancial ground. We don’t care if Roy Hodgson about the return of doom.” is set to be England’s saviour, these are dangerous times. Also we have exams.” those Credit Crunch Can you help? Are you a sport fa- The news arrived as a severe blow to natic mourning this week’s missing the average man on the street: “This is Lunches sport section, but with the instinct, a severe blow,” said one individual who tenacity, wit, charm, and copious wished to remain anonymous, primarily “ chutzpah to carry the torch for Felix because he’s my housemate and was the Sport for the next few weeks and only person I asked. Not everyone was apprehensive perhaps even beyond? Failing that, “You know, you go from the highs of about the ongoing fi nancial situation, what should we have here in place that Varsity Live Blog last term (felix- however. One individual that Felix of the usual Sport section? So many online.co.uk/varsity/) to this. Ques- found camped out on Level 4 of Cen- questions, so little time. Get in touch tions really need to be asked. And then tral Library assessed ”the positives that with us at [email protected]. This easy to understand infographic explains everything Another marquee discovered Who wants to revise outside anyway?

Marquee Joe L. Ron Hubbard would probably have Tensions are clearly high, yet this is balked at. not the end of the intrinsic relationship Speculation is still rife over the com- “I’m pretty sure they excavated the between the Queen’s Lawn and mar- ing and going of the marquee on the Ark of the Covenant,” said one fresher quees. On Thursday construction was Queen’s Lawn, despite the fact that it following the event. spotted of a new marquee ahead of next was revealed a while back that it was “Nah mate, it’s a sophisticated way of week’s Postgraduate Graduation Cere- the holding place of the 34th Interna- keeping everyone from revising on the mony, to be held on Wednesday 9 May. tional Charing Cross Symposium dur- grass,” a passer-by suggested. Plans to launch a ‘Marquee Watch’ ing the period of 14 – 17 April. De- A third party swiftly joined the im- campaign on this very page met a seri- spite the onset of vascular specialists promptu debate, “Oh come on, it’s ous obstacle when it emerged than no- on Imperial, some students have still clearly a giant professorial sweat one particularly cared enough. been fl oating around theories that even lodge.” Watch this space. “Hey, is that a new sweat lodge?” “No, it’s another marquee.” NEWS COMMENT MUSIC BOOKS TRAVEL

Union election Postgraduate The Dandy Warhols Taking a trip back Benicassim results representation in Kentish Town to 1992 beckons Page 7 Page 15 Page 20 Page 23 Page 30