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The new enthusiast #1 sporting weekly exalting the world of sport, celebrating the life of leisure 21 february 2008

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nc de t t i e s i m he a t f u a v g f uot l e l V am n roba e on os l a r r ac Bot T I Bot Ba unda nt ol t m y t f ha l nt he o a a ours v a he hi e nt ndi t * e E c T p t re W by * p L s f s w w f 4- * I Tu e a e p p D * c H a f e F t t hi P * T Ba S M af t i i pe Q P al E or Joel Strong’s America What To Do and How To Do It IN WHICH THE AUTHOR asks your sign In Which the Author Places a Call to Action, and Action Answers Eight Freshmen. One Cup. Champions League Mid-Fixture Up-Cap. In Joel Strong’s America youth is celebrated. While the NBA and NBPA’s agreement to delay young athletes their God-Given-Right to earn a Last week, the Battle Royale of European club football—known the world Paycheck in this (supposedly) free market society causes Your Leader to over as the UEFA Champions League—entered its Round of 16 phase as stay up late at night, it does create a new Class of College Hoopsters: The sixteen of that older dominion’s glossiest and flossiest squads poked, One-and-Dones. scratched, bit, and noogied each other for continental supremacy in the first Last year’s One and Done entrants into the NBA included: Greg Oden leg of what is know in the industry as a ‘home-and-home-double-legger.' (Pdx), Kevin Durant (Sea), Mike Conley Jr. (Mem), Brandon Wright With eight matches played from Glasgow to Istanbul (née Constantinople) (Char), and Thaddeus Young (Phi). Durant is a premier scorer (And a on two separate days, there was more top-tier football played last week player Joel F. Strong wanted the Blazers to select… just sayin). Conley Jr. than this writer could ever hope to shake a stick at; and, not for lack of a and Young are both are starting and performing well. Wright is struggling stick, he didn’t even try. Instead, for reasons as virtuous as they are vague, to find minutes and Oden is injured, but both are expected to excel by next the multi-faceted, double-dozen-karat-ed splendor of those eight separate year. It’s clear what these Super Frosh can do at the next level, which is matches was only communicated to this rather lazy sporting journalist via why you should pay attention to this year’s crop of youngUns. the internet; and especially such websites as footytube.com and Here’s JS’s Fave Freshmen, all of which the Citizenry can expect to hear futvolgoles.es, where the slightly pixilated, discerning fan can spend hours about next year on future editions of the Action City Recap: Rip City discerning slightly pixelated multi-national future super-stars and a Edition (should they choose to earn socially sanctioned paychecks soon potpourri of highlight reels and resumen. Admittedly, this is how the and especially should the Blazers be lucky enough to grab one of these American European football fan must keep in touch, it’s a fact of life, and fellers in the Oh Eight Rookie Draft). this past week it is how your loyal informant kept abreast of the Champions League. Here is what he discovered: JSA’s Dream-Inducing Freshmen in Order of Dream Frequency: Tuesday, 19 February 1) Michael Beasley (PF, Kansas St, #30) His specialty is the Shooty-Oop Roma 2-1 Real Not the overwhelming thriller that was in which a teammate purposefully misses a shot, creating a tailor-made anticipated. Madrid might be the best team in the world but they can’t win opportunity for Lil Mike to take his 6’9” frame to the air and Grab-It- away. Then-Stuff-It. It’s proving to be a very difficult play to stop and he’s Schalke 04 1-0 FC Porto A goal by Kevin Kuranyi will add intrigue to the proving to be the best player in All of the Land. second leg, and Porto will surely pull out the stops back on their home 2) Jerryd Bayless (SG, Arizona, #0) Ohboyohboy does this kid make me ground. fantasize. Anyone else catch his provocative effort this Sunday? Definitely Liverpool 2-0 Liverpool were lucky to win this game as Inter the best basketballing yours truly has ever witnessed in a losing effort: 39 did everything they could to win, save try to score goals or even attack. of Wildcats’ 54 points, made 12 of team’s 15 field goals, and they lost Still lucky though. because everyone not named Bayless shot 3 for 23. Olympiacos 0-0 Chelsea Chelsea consider this a good result. The 3) Eric Gordon (SG, Indiana, #23) He plays the pretty game. Just watch. Shuttlecoque Sporting Club consider Chelsea to be the worst team to ever 4) OJ Mayo (SG, USC, #32) The Trojans are now called OJ Mayo, Inc. win the English . 5) Derrick Rose (PG, Memphis, #23) The top PG in the country leads the nation’s only undefeated team. He easily creates distance for his mid range Wednesday, 20 February floater with pristine use of his young body. Lyon 1-1 Manchester Utd. The French juggernauts played well and 6) James Harden (SF, Arizona St, #13) Unfortunately, illness warshed should have kept a clean sheet. Then again, they are French. over the dude this last Sunday—induced, no doubt, from the thought of Fenerbahce 3-2 Sevilla Turkish bracket-busters Fenerbahce pulled out a facing Bayless. I was looking forward to a few Bayless-Harden late victory in this thrilling, high-paced match. Look for an upset in possessions. But they may face each other again in the Pac 10 Tourney. Sevilla. Keep close tabs, Citizens. Celtic 2-3 Another grab-your-crotch-and-fly-backwards kind of 7) Donte Greene (SF, Syracuse, #5) I love the tall man’s jumper. game. Celtic were unlucky and gifted Messi a late goal after running the Prettiness in a cup. Spanish side ragged down the wings. 8) Kevin Love (C, UCLA, #42) Doesn’t frequent my dreams too much but Arsenal 0-0 AC Milan Much like their fellow Milanese, AC Milan played reminds me so much of Lake Oswego that he appears in a few of my the famous catenaccio style and managed to keep the younger, better nightmares. looking, and more down-to-earth Arsenal from getting a crucial goal. —Joel Strong It is important to note that the aforementioned ‘home-and-home’ system employed by UEFA is a blight on the game and a hindrance to beautiful football. In theory, playing one game at the home stadium of each team is Two days logical and fair, but in practice this system serves as a detriment to the competition. There are myriad ‘ins’ and even more ‘outs’ regarding why the system is flawed, but to put it simply, it encourages certain (Italian) late sides to play a very defensive style and count on the home-game as the end-all. The competition would better serve from using an English FA Cup method in which all a tiny, scrappy team must do is come correct for and many ninety minutes, get a little bit of bloomin’ luck, and they might walk away victorious over a much more powerful squad (see Liverpool v. Barnsley, 16 Feb. 08). Furthermore, that scenario puts a greater amount of pressure on the more powerful side to produce goals, and consequently—hopefully dollars —produce beauty. Whatever the case, the UEFA Champions league is what it is. The reverse th th short of all above fixtures will be played the 4 and 5 of March and, despite what all I said, are highly recommended.

—Eamon ffitch SPORTINGHOUR.blogspot.com